#guess I feel like it’ll never happen for me in reality so dreaming about it just hurts? idk but I am not having a fun time right now

[insanechayne]

Went from enjoying silly daydreams to having a panic attack and being unable to think about those types of daydreams anymore, and I don’t fully understand why. Why am I crying at 3am? Why can’t I calm down? Nothing I do is making me feel any better and I hate this

[isoobie]

BAMBI ─── highschool bf heeseung

🍵 wc 911 kissing, fmr 𝅘𝅥𝅮 listen! for @okwonyo’s event

“hey! lee heeseung, come here!” a loud voice calls heeseung’s name from across the room in amidst of the calm atmosphere.

“i won’t and what will you do about it!” heeseung responds back and sticks his tongue out before running out of the classroom. however, before he can make it out of the second floor a hand grabs his shirt by the collar to stop him.

“and where do you think you’re going, we aren’t done yet.” its the same voice that screamed his name a couple seconds ago and now he’s looking directly into the owner’s face.

its yn, park yn, class president and heeseung’s best friend who doesn’t know that he has been crushing on her for more than three years.

yn and heeseung are head to head, practically shooting fire through their eyes at each other. if someone from a distance saw them, they would have thought they were sworn enemies but in reality they were having nothing more than fun.

a couple minutes ago, heeseung decided that it was a good (according to him) idea to play a prank on yn and take her favourite lip balm and hide it from her.

he loved teasing her, it was his love language but yn had enough, she wasn’t going to let this slide, it was her last straw.

before heeseung had run out of the classroom yn had looked everywhere for him, the field, toilets, the gym, canteen, even the janitors room but realising he was nowhere, she was mad mad.

but eventually when she found him in her homeroom peacefully resting, she didn’t let this once in a life opportunity go.

eye to eye, neither of them say a word, the silence could speak for itself. yn’s irritation and heeseung’s pleasure was so evident in the air that none of them dared to speak, until.

“so park yn, you gonna’ fight me or what?” his voice was laced with so much sarcasm yn’s bones were crippling with anger.

“give me my lip balm. right. now.” her response was so demanding it shook heeseung more than it should have, he had never heard her speak in such tone before.

“and what if i said no ... ” at this point heeseung just wanted an excuse to stay with her for longer, just to hear her voice for even just a second more.

heeseung couldn’t remember the moment exactly when he fell in love with his best friend but he knew for sure that he loved no one else but her.

all the times they hung out, all the times they video called, all the times she cried about her exes to him, made him fall deeper and harder than ever.

playing pranks and bothering her was the only way he could express his undying affection for her without him accidentally slipping up.

no other words could describe it when he was with her, it felt like the whole world revolved around her and him, and he selfishly wanted to live in that world.

heeseung thinks of yn as a dream, one he never wanted to wake up from. every moment with her was priceless, timeless and worth an infinity. god, he yearned to drown her compliments and make her feel like the most precious person on earth.

“hello? earth to heeseung?” yn’s sharp voice cuts through his thoughts and bring him back to reality. “these games aren’t funny anymore i just want my balm back, please.” he could hear the pleading in her voice, lord, he was so weak for it— for her.

“but yn guess what?” he’s doing it, and he’s only decided it in the last three seconds, he’s going to tell her.

heeseung inches forward like its normal, until he can hear the little ‘thump’ of her back on the brick wall behind them.

“hee—”

he keeps a finger to her lips and doesn’t let her say another word.

“just listen, please” it’s his nth time trying to confess, he can’t let this chance go to waste, he knows it’ll be perfect, “this may seem rushed or out of the blue but funny enough, i like you, park yn.”

yn is shocked, flabbergasted and surprisingly happy, she doesn’t know how all these emotions are tied together but it just happens. heeseung’s bambi eyes stare at her, waiting patiently for a reaction, and only when she smiles a slight smile at him he continues.

“it’s probably been three years, or more who cares, since i have liked you, god that’s long,” he makes sure to whisper the last bit, “i sometimes wonder if you know how i feel, if you reciprocate my feelings back or if you think about me like i think about you. i can’t express in words how i truly feel about you but all i want is you and me, us, please?”

how could yn say no? how could anyone say no? his hands are nervously behind her back while his mouth is slightly open ans his hair messily parted, he was so handsome.

“funny enough heeseung, my answer is ye—”

before they both knew it, heeseung’s lips were already on yn’s while the hand that once was nervous was now on her hips, secured.

“you like your new lip balm, girlfriend?” heeseung’s once soft voice was now back to it’s teasing tone and all of a sudden her anger was all gone.

“oh yes i do bambi, it’s my new favourite”

isoobie 2024

[gay-dorito-dust]

Sleep is a beautiful thing.

Sleep allowed you the ability to drift away from reality and towards lands known and unknown.

Sleep allowed you the ability to create your own dreams and nightmares that withhold subliminal messagings that elude you into a state of forgetfulness the moment you awake.

The only time sleep wasn’t so sweet was when you were so ruthlessly ripped away from it, leaving you to become irate and grumpy to the point where your avidly looking for someone to take it out on and that somebody happened to be in very same room; upper half draped over your torso, which was the direct cause of the pressure you felt on your chest, forcing your eyes to open. Only be met with his smug Cheshire cat like grin and mischievous cornflower blue eyes, that of which twinkled like stars in the midst of twilight.

‘JJ get off, your fucking crushing me here mate.’ You whined, weakly tapping at his biceps, only to groan when your blonde friend decided to further your suffering by putting more of his body weight onto you. ‘You dick, you did that on purpose.’ JJ tilted his head to the side, blonde tresses following the movement, pursing his lips and furrowing his brows as though he was clueless as to what you were talking about. ‘Crushing you? On purpose? Me? Your best friend? I will not stand for these harmful accusations being made on my persons. Besides you looked lonely and decided to provide you with some awesome company; me.’

You couldn’t help but feel your irritation slink away, only to be replaced by laughter as JJ’s eyes seemed to shine a brighter blue then even that of the summer sky in response before burying his face into your neck, furthering your laughter and even emitting a little squeal from the tickling sensation of his hair brushing against your skin like golden feathers; As much as you hated being ripped away from your dreams, you guessed being rudely awoken by your golden retriever of a best friend wasn’t as much of a bad thing when he’s providing you with a comforting warmth in the form of his body heat and making you smile.

It almost as though you exited one dream and entered another by having JJ being that new dream you’ve entered, that soon you felt your body becoming relaxed and comfortable as a familiar weight pressed down on your eyelids, urging them to close but you found yourself not wanting to when JJ was right there; waiting to be admired in his entirety. ‘I hate you.’ You said with no malice, nor truth behind your words, especially not when your hands began to subconsciously trace the veins in his strong arms that were clung to your waist whilst beginning a headcount of all the freckles that kissed his skin beautifully.

‘Claim to hate me all you want babe, but that doesn’t seem to be translate well when you’re clearing eating me up with your eyes now does it.’ JJ teased, giving your waist a tight squeeze as he lifted his head, angling it towards your own which is when you noticed how his cornflower blues were taking in your every asset and gazing upon them with such raw tenderness and adoration that it made you a little self conscious at the aspect of being viewed so lovingly even at your most vulnerable of states. ‘Keep telling yourself that JJ, I’m sure it’ll become reality soon enough.’ You replied sarcastically but your eyes seemed to have gained a mind of their own as they trailed down from his golden locks that perfectly framed his face, to the slope of his nose, sweeping their gaze across the apples of his cheeks and finishing off their grand tour by admiring the soft sharpness of his jawline before coming back to the home they’ve built in his cornflower blues.

‘I’m sure it’s already became a reality but they’re equally as frightened to admit to it as much as I am.’ JJ told you softly, resting his forehead against yours, gingerly rubbing his nose against yours, ‘after all it’s safer to stick with what you know, what makes you comfortable because you never truly know if taking the leap is worth it’s risks until after the fall.’ You pressed your forehead into his, nuzzling his nose lightly. ‘Then it’s probably best to take a deep breath, clear the mind and embrace all that entails on the journey downwards and maybe, just maybe, stick the landing and come out of it a wiser man.’ You replied, looking deep into his eyes, “after all, what is life without it’s risks, if not an boring, by the rules experience and let’s be honest, not everyone likes to live life by a rule book.’

JJ seemed to contemplate your words as the furrow of his brow and the subtle clenching of his jaw showcased his internal conflict of emotions, of the uphill battle he continuously struggled with on a daily basis whilst fending off his innermost demons simultaneously. He was fighting against what he feels but also trying to justify them and their existence, that of which even he was experiencing troubles in trying to comprehend his own thoughts and feelings as genuine and not something that had been placed upon him and for it to be expected of him to react in accordance to them. ‘It’ll take me a while before I can confidently take a chance on myself and take the leap,’ JJ admitted, ‘so I can only hope that the person I want to take a chance on is willing to wait a little while longer.’

His cornflower blues darted between your eyes, almost paranoid to the aspect that you might not hold out on him forever, which made your heart break for the blonde as you’d happily wait as long as he needed of you until he felt ready with himself to allow himself to fall into your awaiting arms. ‘I’m sure that they’re more then willing to wait until your ready, after all they’ve been waiting for this long, so a little longer can’t hurt.” You told him and you saw JJ smile that pretty smile of his as he buried his head back into your neck where you felt his smile widening as his arms tightened their grip on you, his insides feeling all bubbly and warm that it physically couldn’t be contained. ‘I’m glad to have them, I honestly don’t know what I’d do if they weren’t so patient with me.’ He uttered against your neck. ‘Crash and burn probably.’ You cheeked, making JJ chuckle. ‘Yeah, probably.’ He agreed.

[starshapedoasis]

Do you want Liam and Noel to reconcile? Their relationship seems quite toxic. Do you think Noel was mentally abusive to Liam? If so how much of it was intentional ?

🚬 🚬 We’re gonna do a Q&A style again.

Do I want Liam and Noel to reconcile? This is a complicated question for me because, let’s say, Liam is my irl friend, not a celeb, and he explains his relationship with Noel to me. I would tell him to keep him cut out of his life. Back to reality, though, I see how important reconciliation is for Liam; he wants it so badly that it makes me want him to have it. I guess in my perfect world, they would go to therapy together. I read a fanfic where they went to couples therapy together, and I thought that would be perfect for them. It’ll never happen, though. I do think one day they will reconcile, and I just hope the years apart, them being middle-aged now and Liam having a better support system around him, will be enough to keep things from getting bad again.

Do I think Noel was mentally abusive to Liam? I do Noel has even admitted it some examples, how he would do interviews teasing going solo just to upset Liam, how he knows to play liam like a used arcade machine, the quote about how the only thing better then making a woman cry is making Liam cry, the pretty green fiasco, etc. I think Noel knew he had the upper hand on Liam, and he liked that and used it to his advantage.

Was it intentional? I guess the real question for me would be how much I think was intentional and how much was a consequence of Noel being the older brother/father figure to Liam and Noel’s natural tendency to be a control freak. I can feel a lot of sympathy for Noel’s childhood. Going through abuse like that will fundamentally change you as a person and how you react to the people closest to you. I also think Noel has always had resentment toward Liam, whether it be that Liam wasn’t beat by their father, he seems to be favored by their mother, or that he kind of "stole” Noel's music dreams, and became the UK’s favorite bad boy frontman. I do believe Noel loves liam it just has LOTS of baggage attached to it.

[whatnotmemes]

------------WILL WOOD’S “IN CASE I MAKE IT” SENTENCE STARTERS change as needed. mentions of death, grief, mental illness, etc.

TOMCAT DISPOSABLES “Happy to be home, safe and warm.” “Here’s where I’ll be raising my kids if I can find someone to start a family with.” “Is there cheese in the great beyond?” “Mind me not and I’ll mind my own.” “I think it saw my face.” “I’ll make it through again. I have before.” “C’mon, now, what’s one more?” “My dreams were finally a reality.” “My struggles had a happy ending.” “They must want to be friends.” “Something’s not quite right.” “Guess I’ll just go rest my head.” “I held on so tight, for so long.” “Was that all there was to this?”

BECOMING THE LASTNAMES “I've learned to pick my battles by losing most I've fought.” “I'll always do it my way, even if that's just the same way I was taught.” "Wow, can you believe we really made it?" “I know you don’t want kids, but think about a daughter.” “I learned from a good father.” “I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig.” “Maybe it's just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties.” “I have laid a lot of women, and now I'd like to just lay down.” “Marriage always scared me.” “Marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love.” “Can we be just like my parents when I was young?” “My frontal lobe's done growing, this might just be how I'm wired.” “I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments.” “There’ll be scalpers at the cemetery gates.” “If we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?”

CICADA DAYS “The greener grass grows where the wildfires fertilize.” “God knows crying ain't gonna change a thing.” “It just feels inhumane to lose this much.” “The ground looks soft enough to bury this now.” “Oh, please, oh no!” “Do nothing. Nothing works.” “Don’t do that if it hurts.” “Let all my red flags fade to white. Yeah, I give up.” “Don’t let me leave.” “I’ll only take more than I gave.” “Okay, I’ll pack my stuff.” “My god, what have I done?”

EUTHANASIA “I was right there, while you fought tooth and nail.” “Say you’re not scared.” “Say you know I love you.” “I know that I’m wrong.” “I want to believe that you'll remember me when you're just memory.” “Can I stop by and say hello?” “Sorry. I would take it back if I could.” “To whom is it I talk?” “It’s okay. It’ll all be over soon.” “I’d never let a bad thing happen to you.” “Everybody dies fighting for their lives, just trying to survive.” “Now I know why we say that there's a better place that waits beyond the grave.” “I choose to believe that we'll meet in sweet dreams.”

FALLING UP “I’m pulling up daisies.” “Would or could the impact kill me?” “Shoot for the stars. Be the next big constellation.” “You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.” “Only plastic flowers never die.” “What do you know of control?” “Cut ties- shed the dead weight.” “I ain’t saying it’s fate, but there are no mistakes.” “Am I falling up?” “Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?” “The larger they are, the harder they tend to fall.” “From such height, life looks awful small.” “Second star to the right and straight on till you die.”

THAT’S ENOUGH, LET’S GET YOU HOME “Haunt my bedroom at night.” “Let’s get you home.” “They say ‘Grow up, be a man.’“ “Oh, my god, what’s wrong with me?” “Come and sweep me off my knees.” “I’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me.” “You seemed fine just a few days ago.” “Never mind, you win!” “Far too late came far too soon.” “Come, but keep your hands off of me.” “Go on back to bed, my love.” “Are you at all like me? Do you know what I mean?” “Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get you home.”

UM, IT’S KIND OF A LOT “I’m afraid of leaving my house.” “I’m afraid of dying of cancer.” “I’m afraid of losing my mind.” “I’ve never been afraid of no one breaking my heart.” “I’m afraid of damn near everything.” “I’ve grown used to fear.” “I love you so much it scares me half to death.” “I’m not used to this. How did it happen?” “I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind.” “I’m afraid there’s somebody better.” “I’m afraid you’ll notice all my flaws.” “I’m afraid I’ll come on too strong.” “I’ve never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve.” “I'm not used to fear of losing something I hold dear.” “Please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize.” “Wait, let me think, hold on, I got this.” “Uhh, I mean, it's kind of a lot...”

HALF-DECADE HANGOVER “Wonder how I didn’t die.” “This is not my life.” “I’m no survivor. I only happened to survive.” “Bitch, I am reality.” “Me and sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue A.” “Either this, in jail, or dead.” “Jesus Christ, my aching head.” “Man, you call that recovered?” “You said, ‘You’ve got your whole life ahead.’ Oh great, another half a century to live to regret.” “I’d rather be anybody else instead.” “I can’t make amends for things I can't remember.” “I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray.” “Guess you’ll just have to take my word that I’ve changed.”

VAMPIRE REFERENCE IN A MINOR KEY “I’m turning over the same old leaf again.” “If it weren’t for the ‘everything’, then anything could happen.” “If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my coffin.” “I dig you like a tomb.” “I'm sorry for the things I've done and all I ask of you.” “If you still want me, come and find me in my coffin.” “You could come knocking and I’ll raise hell for you.” “Maybe I should switch up the style of my mistakes.” “I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours.” “No, I ain't begging. I'm just saying it's an option.”

YOU LIKED THIS (OKAY, COMPUTER!) “We are eager to get to know you.” “You are only human, and we are here to help.” “You will finally be not only seen, but witnessed.” “You are broken and we will heal you.” “We work in our own proprietary mysterious ways.” “We have a plan for everyone, free of charge.” “Breaking news: the news is broken.” “Your enemies have been radicalized by an unknown force but you have stayed rational by educating yourself here.” “The revolution begins here.” “Your growth is organic and natural, like a field of poppies, carcinoma, and tick fit to burst.”

THE MAIN CHARACTER “I'm that first person they talk about in all the books.” “I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don't do it by it.” “Enough lefts don't make a right but two wrongs do.” “If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.” “God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being.” “I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy.” “Don’t come at me.” “I’m the main character and you have to like me.” “Villains are everywhere- that's how I know that I'm the hero.” “Judge me by what my cover shows.” “We all do what we need to to get through. It’s nothing new.” “I ain’t done a fucking thing to you!”

AGAINST THE KITCHEN FLOOR “I don't owe you my heart, and I don't owe you my body.” “You should know that I'm sorry for being careless with you.” “I owe you more than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody.” “I swear I'm really trying.” “Get it together, ___- know and do better.” “It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе.” “I'm sorry. I promise, I'm doing my bеst.” “I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet.” “I still don't know who you are. I only know that I'm still lonely.” “You gave me your heart. I only gave you my body.” “I’ve lived more lives than enough.” “I'm not a real person- just the shit you can't make up.” “I don't know why you would care, but I'm really trying.” “How did I cause so much harm?” “I’m sorry, but this can’t go on.” “I know you got scars of your own.” “Hide my knives before you go.” “I’ll either live or die alone.” “I will die trying.” “I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress.” "I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible.” “I swear, I'm so fucking sorry.” “I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all.” "Someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all.”

SEX, DRUGS, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL “I guess I’m my own boss, but everyone’s my supervisor.” “I just turned 27 and I’m dying of old age.” “Guess I’m just selfish. I wanna have but not be had.” “This is what I choose to do with my redeeming quality.” “It’s not a gift if you pay for it, but I don’t want no charity.” “I spent all my years to end up right here, and now I really think I’d rather leave.” “I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n’ roll.” “I hate proving that I’m still human after all.” “It wouldn’t mix well with my meds.” “I hate to be ‘that guy’, but I’m not that guy anymore.” “I’m not that guy anymore and I made goddamn sure he’s dead.”

WILLARD! “You know I couldn’t hurt a fly.” “I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps.” “I myself have been stepped on so many times, it's started to feel like my place.” “Is there room for me in your cage?” “Animals are people too, but these people are animals.” “This cage is inside out.” “It’s awful out here, ____.” “I've never understood what humans do and want.” “It’s quite confusing to me to try to connect.” “These carnivores will no more use my heart.” “They'll call me crazy but their words all seem made-up to me.” “Maybe they just need more friendship like yours.” “You've got a friend in me. Let's go and make more enemies.” “It’s dangerous out here, ____.” “It’s lonely out here, ____.”

WHITE NOISE “They paint the walls with colors that you’re not meant to notice.” “You blend into the background.” “It sorta sounds like a retro top 40 but wrong.” “You’re not meant to sing along. It isn’t that kind of song.” “You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear.” “It’s theoretically dense. It’s impressive.” “It challenges Western notions of art.” “It’s going places ‘cause it comes from the heart.” “It makes no statement, but does so quite loudly.” “It’s an aesthetic. I mean, an anesthetic.” “Does it cure cancer?” “It begs the question, just to tell you the answer.” “Do you believe in the power of silence?” “You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel.” “I know it's hard, but they’re not who you are.”

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey, Charity! Could I be an ENP? Or am I overestimating my Ne? If it helps, I’m either an enneagram 9 or a 6 - leaning towards 6, tho. Thanks :)

I’m not indecisive, but I like to keep my options open. If something better show up, I won’t mind leaving things behind, even if they’re unfinished. I like to “feel” that I’m choosing the right thing, though, since I’m afraid of making mistakes. Does my anxiety makes me second guess my feelings? Yes. I’m either right about things or completely wrong, no in between. I don’t consider myself a doer, thinking about things is usually enough for me. I hate to be alone with my thoughts and I’d rather have someone to discuss them with. If I like a certain subject, I’ll enjoy discussing everything there’s to know about it with my friends. I easily classify things as good/bad and have to push myself to see the tones of grey. I’ll defend what I believe in if I think it’s worth it to do so. I’d say that I’m somewhat “me” focused, since I’m constantly aware of my emotional state, focused on figuring my identity out and may act like my feelings are the most important thing in the room. My logic is internal. I draw conclusions by myself and then compare them to external facts to decide what’s true or not. Do I think about the future? Yes and No. I like to idealize the future, feeding my brain with possible scenarios that’d be fun if they became true. But my decisions are made based on what I’m feeling at the present. I don’t think “oh, this will fit perfectly with my 10 year life plan.” I’d rather go with the flow than planning for years ahead. I only make short term plans (a few days from now maybe). At my worst, I become a hypochondriac and a worrywart. I’m suddenly afraid that I won’t be able to “live” anymore if something bad happens to me. When I feel this way, I need to push myself outside and do things to keep me distracted. Stay at home dwelling and worrying may be tempting, but won’t do me any good.

Contradictory traits: I’m seen as the “responsible one” in my friend group, since I’m the one who usually reminds people things like “we should leave now, otherwise we’re gonna be late and x is counting on us”. I wouldn’t say that I like to control people, but sometimes I feel the need to push them to avoid problems. My family constantly mentions how much I’m alike my STJ father. Both of us are organized, methodical, realiable and a little bit too blunt with our words. My ENFP friend and I constantly discuss about my type and she doesn’t think I’m idealistic enough to have high Ne. She has these big and unchangeable goals ever since she was a teenager and she hates when other people come around to explain how “reality” works. Meanwhile, I’ve changed my mind dozens of times about my future, having tons of ideas I’ve never followed through. I also like to consider new povs, especially when the advice comes from people I respect. A little bit of realism won’t hurt, it’ll only mean that I’ll be prepared for what’s ahead.

You sound like an ENFP, yes. You give good arguments for Ne, Fi, weak Te, and nominal Si (not finishing things, abandoning them, changing your mind and dreams all the time, being blunt and fearful of stagnation). But... that your “ENFP” friend has had “big and unchangeable goals” since she was a teenager probably rules out Ne-dom for her. It sounds more like a judging type or Ni in her stack (NJ). Ne is as you describe it -- always changing, always pursuing what’s interesting in the moment, rarely sticking to one dream for your life, starting in on things and losing interest and abandoning them. You have the Ne, lol.

[randomly-a-fan]

The Deal of the “After” Life-time Pt. 3

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Dream Realm

Jason has kept MJ in his arms while she snoozes, even though what Freddy said is true; about how he can’t bring her back to reality, he still wouldn’t let go. Though, he’s getting close to needing to wake up, so, he kissed MJ by the lips before putting her down and gently rub her head.

Meanwhile in the Real World

“I’m sorry about your mommy, Malon. I’ve known Freddy for quite a while; he wanted your soul in exchange for his assistance...” Papawise said. “What!?” Malon freaked out. “Now, calm down, I never did such a thing; when it comes to arrangements, you need to be specific; I only gave Freddy your warn-out shoes, which have your ‘sole’ on them.” Papawise chuckled. “I’m assuming that Freddy took that scheme of yours and decided to use that on MJ.” Pennywise assumes. “Perhaps... Now back to Malon here, there is a way to free your mother from her demise, however, it’s extremely risky and it needs to be done tomorrow night.” Papawise explained. “Why tomorrow night, what happens tomorrow?” Aquarius asked. “Tomorrow is the night of the full moon, the most powerful light-source for doing the ‘ritual’.” Papawise answered with pride. “It’s how the first generation of the so-called ‘Losers Club’ summoned Maturin the turtle spirit. It’ll work for freeing MJ. But... It comes with a price.” Malon listens to Papawise’s instructions and the cost. “There are two ways: one, is that we free MJ, in exchange for Freddy Krueger’s freedom, including that Shadow Man that MJ trapped years ago for her kidney.” 

Malon freaked out, remembering that Shadow Man that tried to kill her years ago. “Is there another way, that doesn’t involve Freddy or that Shadow Man roaming free?” Malon asked nervously. “That comes to option two: find something of MJ’s that the five bestowed from her; however, if that is the way, MJ can get out without Freddy or the Shadow Man escaping, but, if Freddy does try to escape along with MJ, one of us has to make a sacrifice and take MJ’s place, in order to keep Freddy from escaping into the real world.” Papawise explained. “Sounds to me that we’ll have to go with option two; I know me and Pennywise can be involved in the ritual, including Jason obviously, and you’re going to be the one that says the ritual.” Aquarius advised. “We just need one more volunteer.” Pennywise added. Malon cleared her throat to get the clowns attention. “Are you forgetting about me? I can be the fifth.” Malon volunteered. 

Papawise just laughs to Malon’s attempt. “You’re very cute, Malon, very cute indeed. But, I’m afraid that this ritual is going to be too dangerous for a young mortal like you; one blow from the ritual will have you down with the weeds.” Papawise explained. Malon looked over at Pennywise and Aquarius, since she’s not understanding what Papawise was saying. “He’s saying that this ritual is going to kill you if you’re not invulnerable or strong.” Pennywise explained. “Does MJ know anyone else that is able to survive the blow?” Aquarius asked Malon. Malon thought for a moment on some of the friends that MJ befriended with who cannot die easily, like her dad. Then she thought of someone. “The Candyman can.” Malon giggled, as she made a little tune; really, she was referring to Daniel Robitaille, but she only thinks of him as The Candyman. 

Back in the Dream Realm, Jason was relaxing on the bed feeling pleased with himself, when he got MJ exhausted from all the pleasure he’s given her, even though he won’t wake up with her in his arms. Jason needed to wake up for Malon, so he gave his wife a kiss before tucking her in with a light sheet. 

***

After Jason woke up, he tears up again, he really hated leaving MJ alone and not get to see each other in bed after waking up. Just then, he heard a door knock, so he got up and went towards the door to see who it was. He saw his daughter, along with Aquarius. “Guess what dad! We’re going to get mommy back.” Malon said happily. Jason was confused, how is that even possible? “Papawise is going to prepare a ritual tomorrow night, so we each need to find one thing that we bestowed from MJ; like a gift or a memento of her, do you know what I mean?” Aquarius explained then asked. 

Jason thought about what Aquarius has told him, then Malon spoke up. “And since we needed one more person to be the fifth summoner, I thought we bring out Daniel Ro-be... uh, Robi-ti? Well, The Candyman, since he can handle the blow.” Malon explained. Malon couldn’t pronounce Daniel’s last name, she gets too embarrassed to accept help with the pronunciations, so she’s going to leave it at that. Jason nodded his head as he agreed, he even agree to let Malon say the ritual, as longs he’s in the bathroom with her; he remembered what he did to MJ years ago, even though he had a good side to him, he’s still a threat sometimes.

Dream Realm 

MJ doesn’t know if it’s been an hour or a few minutes since Jason left, time can be confusing in the Dream Realm. Well, she knew that she’ll see him again when both him and Malon are asleep. However, she can’t stand the heat, it’s almost as worse than the bakery, if not ten times worse. So, bravely yet riskily, she went out to look for Freddy and ask him for an air conditioner; the only path that isn’t on with the heat and flames, which leads to where Freddy chills.

However, she couldn’t find Freddy anywhere. As MJ was looking around, thinking that Freddy has gone to hunt into people’s dreams, she heard dim cries. When she saw the large oven, she heard the cries more clearly. MJ didn’t know what she’s going to get of her, well heck, thanks to her kind heart in nature, she opened it, which let out a whole lot of trapped souls that Freddy couldn’t digest.

Seeing the souls be free made MJ feel good inside, but on the outside, it burns like... Well, Hell. What she didn’t know is that she’s not alone in the room, she was being watched by the Shadow Man; back in the previous story of Sacrifice, he was after Jason, then MJ, and then their one and only child. Because of what MJ did to him, he’s going to make sure that MJ will pay. 

MJ knew that what she did will make Freddy angry, so she closed the oven’s door and rush back to her space, hopefully that Freddy wouldn’t notice.

***

When Freddy returned, The Shadow Man approached the tired Freddy. “What do you want, Shadow-fuck?” Freddy asked exhaustedly. The Shadow approaches the oven where Freddy keeps his souls. “Did you leave your ball in there, your bone?” Freddy joked. The Shadow Man doesn’t need to have a face to show disapproval. When Freddy opened the door, he was shocked. “What the fuck did you do, you Shadow-Fuck!?” Freddy asked in anger.

Meanwhile, MJ was in the room, praying that Freddy wouldn’t find out. Sadly, her prayers haven’t been answered. “MAKAYLA.” MJ jumped out of her skin and starting to sweat non-stop. MJ heard Freddy stumping on over to her space, so she hid in the closet.

MJ thought she was in the clear when she no longer heard footsteps, that is until she stared at the exit of the closet, then comes Freddy. MJ screamed and shoved him out of the way, while she tries to escape, that is until The Shadow Man blocked her way. “YOU.” MJ screamed. 

Freddy chuckled while approaching her. “I’m assuming you remember your old ‘friend’? He’s been thinking of you, ever since you gave up your kidney for keeping your family safe, and yet, you all still get into danger.” Freddy reminded. He didn’t forget about the escaping souls, so, he grabbed MJ by the back of her shirt and threw her onto the bed with a thump, MJ tried to get up and run, but she can’t move; in dreams, you go nowhere. Freddy sat on top of her and opened up her shirt to expose her back. “Please Freddy, I’m sorry; I just needed to get cool, so I--” “--thought I would have air conditioner? well, you’re thought wrong, now hold still!” Freddy raised his claws and smite across her bare back. 

The Shadow Man smiled after hearing MJ screaming in pain and getting blood down her back. “Be advised, this is just a warning; if you do anything that will upset me, you’ll get worse cuts than this!” Freddy warned. 

“Until you stop bleeding, you can wear this nightgown; it should make you feel more cooler.” Freddy added as he threw the Victorian-style nightgown. MJ paid no attention, since all she’s doing is bawl her eyes out. 

Freddy is aware that she has autism, but it doesn’t mean that he’s going to give his victim special treatment. “She’ll cry herself to sleep eventually, it’s a lesson that needed to be acted on.” Freddy explained to The Shadow Man. 

***

Real World

Everyone who are part of the ritual, including The Candyman whom Malon summoned, all meet at the gazebo to show each other what they’ve got of MJ’s. “Why do you have a wrapper of a peanut butter cup?” Papawise asked The Candyman with a pop at the end of his sentence. “I offered her a Reese, since I’ve learned that they’re her favorite. After she ate it, she threw the wrapper in the trash, but I wanted to keep that as a memento of her satisfactory.” The Candyman explained. “One of the losers from the losers club used a game token to burn, so how is a candy wrapper not a good thing?” Pennywise asked. “I don’t have a problem; I just find it weird.” Papawise answered. “Oh, so I’m guessing that you don’t find MJ’s bra pad so weird?” The Candyman got back at Papawise.

Papawise does admit that he did snatch one of MJ’s warn-out bras, but since it’s too big for burning, he needed to just take the padding. “I don’t much care about it, since right now, I’m a female.” Papawise explained. “What do you have there, Pennywise?” Papawise added with a question for Pennywise. “It’s a freshness container for the pills for dog bites; MJ put me back into health with the pills she gave me, after the encounter with the wild dogs while trying to save MJ’s life, I wanted to keep the container, to remind me of her kindness.” Pennywise explained. “You do realize that turning the items into ash would take a long time, right?” Papawise informed. Everyone was shocked. “Are you saying that the things we’ve bestow from MJ is going to get burnt into ash! Why didn’t you tell us that before?” Aquarius asked angrily. “You never asked!” Papawise laughed with his Wah Hah act.

Malon and Jason stared at each other sadly while the rest were arguing with each other. “We’ll still get mommy back... Right?” Malon asked her dad. Everyone stopped after hearing Malon’s question. “Why are we fighting with each other, when we’re supposed to give up the things we cherish to save MJ’s soul?” Candyman asked. Aquarius nodded in agreement. “He’s got a point; the items that we have can be replaced, but, we can’t ever replace MJ. So, turning the items into ash will have to be our only option.” Aquarius said, after she put down a magnetic anklet for her headaches. 

Jason looked into the sketch that MJ has made for him when they first met; she made a sketch of his mask, as a thank you for saving her innocents; to him, it’s because she was fascinated by his ‘good looks’. “Well, at least there’s one thing that’s easy to burn. Well then, I’ll just take this all back to my place and burn them into ash. We’ll meet at Camp Crystal Lake by the docks tomorrow evening.” Papawise announced.

***

At last, Malon and Jason get settle down at home while eating pizza for dinner. Then, they both get themselves ready for bed. Jason wanted Malon to sleep next to him, so that they can see MJ together in their dreams. “Mommy’s going to be so happy when she sees us. Too bad we can’t tell her about the ritual.” Malon said sadly. Papawise explained earlier that telling MJ about the ritual will not only get Freddy’s attention, but can lead to serious side-effects, such as brain-dumbing and loss of speech. Obviously, Malon and Jason wanted MJ to come back, all in one piece.

Dream Realm

The thing with dreams, they go to dreamland at a different pace, so Jason was the first to see MJ while Malon comes later. Jason noticed MJ on her stomach looking limp, he wondered if she was tired or if she’s upset about something. When he noticed bloodstains on the back of her shirt, he carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. MJ’s eyes were puffy-red with tear-stain on the bottom of her eyes. “Jay... He... He...” MJ couldn’t get the words out, so she gave him the look to give him the hint to open the back of her blood-stained top. 

Jason’s heart dropped when he saw the claw marks on her back. He lifted his wife up and sat on the bed while hugging her tight. Malon came when she finally dozes off, but when she saw her mom crying, she was concerned. “Mommy... What’s wrong, aren’t you happy to see us?” Malon asked. MJ sniffed when she heard her daughter’s voice, that she finally stopped crying. “Hello, my little princess. I’m so happy to see you again; both you and daddy.” Malon smiled to see her mom smiling. Yet, Jason made Malon turn around for a minute, while he helps MJ get into the Victorian Nightgown that Freddy gave her.

When MJ stood up, she feels like sniffling after seeing that the nightgown was see through. “You’re beautiful, you look like a princess in pajamas.” Malon complimented. MJ was sniffling a little before she started to laugh a little to her daughter’s compliment. “Come here you!” MJ said to her daughter, while waiting for her daughter to give her a hug. “You remind me of little me; I say sweet compliments to make my mom feel beautiful... Just like you did.” MJ said before she gave her a kiss. Jason went down to hug his two girls. “Even though this was only a dream for you two, it felt real just to be hugged.” MJ said in between hugs. 

***

For the rest of the dream night, the three decided to watch a Disney movie, even though the T.V is actually an 80s T.V Box, but it brings back MJ’s memories from when she was little, so watching The Jungle Book from that T.V Box with low resolution and pixels is no issue. “I know it’s not the same, Malon, but you have to realize that it brings me the childhood vibes.” MJ explained to her daughter, that is until she noticed Malon was sleeping next to her. “Aww...” MJ awed. Jason peeked over to see his daughter sleeping in her mom’s arms. Jason wished that he could make out with his wife while Malon was asleep, but he didn’t want to do it in front of her, even if she sleeps like a rock. However, there’s no rule on kissing his wife in front of his sleeping daughter.

When morning finally came, Malon and Jason tried their hardest to not wake up, but Jason forgot to close the curtains the other night, so the sun shun right into their eyelids. “Aww, dad, we forgot to close the curtains.” Malon whined exhaustedly. Jason understands that Malon was disappointed, he too gets upset whenever he has to wake up from a dream, when it’s the only time to see MJ. Luckily, tonight is the night where everyone does the ritual to bring MJ back, he just hoped that this whole ritual will be a success, or else Freddy wins; even if MJ comes out in the end, there’s still some risk of complications and losing a part of his love to the Dream Demon.

To Be Continued 

[btscontentenjoyer]

No words. (I say as I put my rambling under the cut) I'm just a mess of feelings right now.

"The dream lingers, and for a moment, you let it repeat once more. Inhale the winter’s scent, cherish the fireworks’ colours, feel the ghost of his lips on your cheek." I loved reading about these moments, so I totally get why OC would want to repeat them in her head.

"He’s a perfect excuse to stay. How he groans when you pull yourself out of his arms. Looking tranquil and content a moment later, moving to clutch the blanket like a child; his cheeks are puffy, his lips slightly parted.

Sweet and tender.

You’ve seen him like this before. Caught in dreamland, far away from reality; and he always looks the way he does right now. Younger, oblivious, gentler than he already is." Literally had to sit there for a moment picturing this and going 🥺🥺🥺

"Those nights and mornings are engraved in your mind, a comforting memory that calmed you throughout the dark hours." Always love seeing how much comfort they find in each other.

"Messy hair tickles your face, soft lips pecking your cheek like couples do. People in love. That’s what you are now, right?" KSSKJSISJW AAAAH

"Somehow, somewhat… because you know the emotions that cloak your heart. And he… you interpret something similar for him." 🥺🥺🥺

"You smile. Thinking about the paint covering your body, his skin against yours, the heart on your waist… really does something to your sanity." That scene!!! Literally one of the best things I've ever read, have not stopped thinking about it.

“Anything you want, angel.” I'm convinced that like OC I'll actually never get used to him using this nickname and it will always make me smile the way it does now.

"That’s not the first time he’s babying you like this. Whenever you’re good at everything, you’re a munchkin, for whatever reason. And whenever he’s pouring out his uninhibited fondness, you’re his angel." Oh I wanna cry, he's so sweet (why do I have a feeling that this won't be the only time I'll want to cry 😔😔😔)

"He shifts and hums. Then lifts one shoulder and says, “I mean, who’s perfect anyways? Isn’t it more important that I see you and your flaws and still think of you as my type of person?” 💕💕💕

"You know. It shows in the understanding the both of you have. The mature arguments, the patience, the knowledge of what the other wants despite fragmented sentences. You get each other without words; that must mean something." They're SOULMATES!!!!

"Jungkook is a mystery, and the mystery’s becoming unsolvable." I really wish he would open up more too 😔😔😔

“You don’t want to kiss me anymore, do you?” Will always be proud of either of them when they decide to communicate despite their fears and overthinking.

"If he asked you, you’d tell him that for you, the moment comes every other second. You’re in love with him. Worldly problems, family issues, agony and pain or not, you’ll still be in love with him." This is the beauty of their love 🥺🥺🥺 The way it sits opposite all of their problems and hardships in life and helps them cope with them. I guess it's bound to be tested by those problems too, but I'm sure they'll find a way back to each other.

“Baby,” he begins, lifting your fallen chin, “so much happened yesterday. And I’m just… I’m trying to make you feel better, not use your body for pleasure.” He hesitates, perhaps realising that dodging a kiss might not make you happier after all. “It’s not a priority, but… you’re wrong, okay?” I !!! LOVE!!! THIS!!! MAN !!!!

"But he’s still soft and careful when he states, “I want to kiss you every damn waking moment.” What do I even say to this??? Except *incoherent screaming*

“I know I’ve been acting strange, but you’re wrong,” he repeats, “and I can promise you that it’ll be worth waiting for it. I promise you.” 🥺🥺🥺 He, their love too, will always be worth it. All the waiting and inevitable sadness, will be worth it, I'm sure of that 🥺🥺🥺

“Because I don’t need to. It’s just you and me most of the time, somewhere safe. Like in this room where we don’t need to pretend.” Somewhere safe!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺

“That I think you understand perfectly well what this is.” As I've said before, they really don't even need to say it, their love for each other is so evident and beautiful.

"No wonder he seemed so out of himself when he brought you the blanket. Wanted to provide you with a safe space within his walls, away from worries. But you’d get to know about it anyway, and now you did." He keeps taking on all of these things by himself so as not to burden her, and it's sweet that he loves and wants to protect her so much, but it really isn't good for him to have to deal with everything alone 🥺🥺🥺

"You’re distracted, but he doesn’t realise it yet. There’s a big part of you that wants to whine and complain, but you don’t want to interrupt him – his little world with all its colours comforts you." Why, yes, I will point out every part that talks about them being each other's comfort, because that's one of the things I love most about them.

“I know…” he answers, guilt in his voice, though he’s never been at fault. “I’m sorry they’ve been hurting you.” The sweetest man there ever was 🥺🥺🥺

“She talks to you about me?” he asks, eyes wide and childlike. He looks so cute, infatuated like that. He leans in further, nearly climbing the counter, “What does she say?” Another adorable couple that needs to fess up and confess something.

"A hand plants against the wall next to your head, the other pushing open the door to whatever’s inside. His face draws closer, and he whispers, “I can go back to all those flirty sorority girls then, if you want.” An actual menace.

"You push against his chest, countering, “Yeah? Wanna see you try. See if they can suck your dick like me.” Hell yeah, love seeing OC being a brat right back.

“Told them I brought you as my girlfriend. And anyway…” He moves in and whispers into your ear; a shiver travels down your spine. “If I wanted someone else, I wouldn’t be missing you just ‘cause they mentioned you once, right?” Him always with these lines that make you lose your mind, I don't know how OC can handle it, honestly.

“What happened to me? You,” he simply argues, “God, I don’t fucking wanna see you sad anymore. Hate those damn tears… just wanna be happy with you, want you in my life, like this or… or differently, just… in any way.” This has me feeling so many things wow. Like eyes wide open, rereading it again and again, and yet I can't properly explain how I feel. I just love them and I want all of that for them too.

“Drenched panties are my favourite,” Jungkook tells you, an unoccupied hand lifting your face by your chin, “I want them stuffing your mouth.” I'm going to have to start taking reaction photos or something because there is no way to explain through words how I feel about all of this lmao. I literally have a physical reaction to all of these lines, I knew I had to be alone when I read this.

"Jesting, you spit out the word as though it’s an insult, and he laughs breathily, throwing back an answer that renders you frozen in his grip, “And if I am?” Finding out that he said this in such a moment takes it to a whole different level, oh my god.

“Come out, because I saw you going that way, you horny bitches.” Not only is he cockblocking them but he's also interrupting possible love confessions smh.

“It takes just a minute for him to––?!”

You don’t hear the entire sentence, because Jungkook curses in between; you laugh, because he truly does not need to defend himself on this. You know well enough how he fucks, thank you very much." Lmaooo, I laughed out loud at all of this.

"Of course. One last gesture of madness was still left. Ass." A literal demon when he wants to be.

"Maybe the party’s not that bad after all.

Or maybe it’s just the mood he set." 🥺🥺🥺

"But whatever it is – comparing her to her younger self in the flower garden picture, Nara has definitely changed." Why do I feel like Nara is about to say some iconic shit and make me really like her lmao.

“That… He and I had our issues, and since they were unsolvable, we were never going to last anyway.” Nara shrugs her shoulders, and you’re surprised you can still hear her gentle voice over the music. You truly are blending everything out. “But you two… I think you should.” Wow, honestly hearing that from a partner's ex must be really impactful, it would definitely leave a big impression on me at least.

“I mean I saw you with him. And. No matter how in love we grew up with each other—” Dammit. Her memories of a shared history – a sting in your chest. You push it aside. “—He’s never been attached to me like this.” And just like Jungkook she knows the exact right thing to say huh. It's honestly so so sweet that she took the time to tell OC all of this, without any pettiness.

"Which she proves when she explains, “Look, I’m just sorry you’re going through this, okay? I just wanna tell you that if you can – fight this whole bullshit. Show them you can conquer all problems, that the two of you are more than just their toys.” I really hope they can do that too 🥺🥺🥺

“Because I was in love with the same man.” She lowers her eyes; like she doesn’t want you to see her remaining fondness for him. “I know how it is to love him. And because, despite how well he and I have moved on, I know how it is to lose someone like him, too.” I really love everything Nara is saying, she's now a certified queen in my books.

"When the giggles ebb down, she tells you, “But honestly. I just said all that, because you don’t need to find out how it feels to lose him. You shouldn’t. ‘Cause you guys look happy.” She pauses and you smile; then, she asks, “He’s good to you, yeah?” People like this, who go out of their way to be kind without having anything to gain from it, are amazing and I wish that OC and Jungkook had only these kinds of people in their lives, but alas, that's not how life works.

“I think he’s grown to love you. And believe me, being loved by Jeon Jungkook is a great privilege.” My eyes are actually getting misty and it's not even him saying this, god.

"Doesn’t know that he’s already ready to do anything for you." AAAAAH!!!!! HE REALLY IS!!!!!

“Shit,” you whisper at your reflection, and she laughs at how worried you look, “just need him to say it now, too.” Mmmmhmm

“My pretty baby,” he praises; you’re not sure if he’s telling you or moreso himself, “you’re so beautiful… makes me sick.” Ugh they're so in love 😣😣😣

"That’s exactly what he strives for every damn time – you know." Even during sex!!! He wants to help her not worry, not think about the things that make her sad!!!!

"The affair right now is quieter and sweeter; the way your relationship has been feeling lately.

Even when he dragged you to the bathroom, despite all the lust written in his eyes, you knew he acted out of deep fondness." The difference between this and the New Year's party!!! Their relationship has grown to mean so much 🥺🥺🥺

“You know, angel… it’s been unbearable for me for quite some time.” Sksjsiksks. I melt every time he says things like these. Since we're in OC's POV, we see through her thoughts as well as her words to him exactly how she feels about Jungkook, and it's all wonderful and it makes me happy. But with Jungkook we really only get to see his love through his words and actions and that makes them so so meaningful.

“But… I’m not leaving,” you vow." 🥺🥺🥺

“I’m yours.” When I tell you my mouth dropped open when I saw this. I have the biggest smile on my face rn, I love them so much.

"Whatever the two of you are doing here… it’s slow, tender, the opposite of what you usually do. You know he’s savouring the moment as much as you are; you see it clearly in his gaze, the eyes that are almost entirely sober again." 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Whatever you want, baby,” you tell him, for the first time possibly ever that you’re not straightforwardly taking his offer. “Just wanna keep feeling you.” You hug him close to you, bodies melting together.

“Can you just…”

Your sentence remains unfinished, but he understands. He’ll stay just like that, varying pace and rhythm; but he’ll stay here. Over you, kissing your skin, adoring you as if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do." Have you ever seen a sex scene radiate more love and affection???? Because I haven't and I'm losing my mind. Every time you blow my mind with how much emotion you can evoke in scenes like these, Rid. It's truly amazing.

"And then, you finally say, “Thank you.” Face buried in his chest, you inhale his scent. “Every single moment of today meant so much to me, Kook.” They both deserve this every day, always.

"Not of work tomorrow. Not of the issues outside this apartment. Not of your responsibilities.

Nothing but him." It’s so so special to have someone who makes every bad thing, even the entire outside world, feel like it doesn't matter.

"You place your hand in his, and in his sleep, he takes it immediately. His eyebrows relax. When you look into his face deeper, you think he looks as unbothered as he hasn’t for a long time." This means even more now, having read the previous scene.

"Leaning in slowly, you gauge his reactions. He doesn’t move much, his breathing still steady. Calm and relaxed, he stays in his slumber – and in utter delight, you kiss the little tip of his button nose tenderly." So so adorable.

"Of course you’re his first thought." Still not over this, never will be!!!!

"But he pulls you back with vigour, flush against his body, momentarily entangling your limbs. Your bodies fall into each other like two puzzle pieces, locking you in place like you were born to die in his hold." LIKE YOU WERE BORN TO DIE IN HIS HOLD!!!! That's so fucking beautiful I can't 😭😭😭😭

"So he keeps toying with your hair, patiently responding, “Of course. Always.” They will always come back to each other. During parties or family drama or anything at all.

"Feeling the morning minutes pass, unaware of how life-changing tonight’s events will turn out to be." Are we coming to the painful part now 🥺🥺🥺 Bracing myself for the impact.

"Today’s heat and sunlight demand the darkest shades you own. Even in the shadow of other buildings, this morning’s beam blinds you momentarily – or maybe it’s because you spent too many hours in the comfort of Jungkook’s darkened, cooled place." Will never stop talking about how the words comfort and safe aopear so often in the same sentence as Jungkook or his home. It's sad that she's never thought about her own house like that though, but I'm glad Jungkook’s here for her now 🥺🥺🥺

"His kindness is exaggerated – there’s something iffy about him. But then again, your senses have been kicking harder lately, with all the annoying struggles you’ve been facing and whatnot. Trust is scarce these days." Nooo, I don't want my bby OC hurt any more than she already is 🥺🥺🥺

"A form disappears behind the building’s corner like a silhouette in near pitch darkness. You must say, those people are dedicated – because the dark clothing, the hidden face and rapid reaction… all of it reminds you of shadows." This is all truly so so scary.

“No! You don’t fucking get what it feels like.” You take a deep breath. Let the hand holding your phone fall in defeat. “You don’t know that it hurts, do you? Nah. You don’t give a shit.” Poor OC, this is so heartbreaking and she deserves none of it.

"Your previously clenched jaw relaxes at his sight. He looks sad, attempting his best to look neutral. But you see the gulp, see how he lowers his gaze to his fist. But he doesn’t address the issue on hand, allowing you space to come down." And I keep thinking how terrifying and new all of this is to Jungkook too. On the one hand you have OC who is sick and tired of dealing with this her whole life, and then also Jungkook who is just now experiencing this whole new horrible world. They both did nothing to deserve this and I feel so bad for them.

"And so does the fallen head you witness when he turns around, hands in his jogger’s pockets, and walks back in." Now why do I feel like he'll break up with her so that the media and her parents stop harassing her? Just the thought of that makes me want to cry 😭😭😭

“I always say we yield best results in a healthy state of mind,” he tells Jungkook, watching the younger friend’s face fall in defeat. “But… I also always say that we can’t be at our best all the time.” He flashes a dimpled smile, the back of his hand hitting Jungkook’s bicep gently. “So what’s up?” Namjoon's the best mentor anyone could ask for 🥺🥺🥺

"Jungkook grins, a lop-sided smirk he bets you’d love. “I don’t wanna say too much in case I fail, but— I will once it’s over.” Aaah what is he planning???

"Namjoon stares ahead, and Jungkook sighs. “It’s like… I wanna do the right thing, but I’m legit scared it might be something I don’t really need to do. What if things are okay as they are?” Both very excited and very scared about finding out what he's talking about.

“No, because I’ve no damn clue what you’re talking about.” Lmaooo so true.

"You’re different. Namjoon is different. Genuine trust in his abilities, pushing him forward." 🥺🥺🥺

"But for that, he first needs to do what he needs to do. And he’s already proud of the courage he’ll gather this late afternoon." Aaah I'm so nervous.

"And he won’t hear your silent thoughts whisper, “Don’t you want me out of there, though?" 😔😔😔

"Because with the right person, the surroundings truly seem to fade. Like you’re soaring somewhere above the clouds. A couple dancing to a lullaby; popping out of a music box; trapped in a snow globe, alone yet content." Beautiful 💕💕💕

"Your arms are wrapped around his neck, fingers clutching his hair. You don’t know how you ended up in this position, but he’s holding you like the earth would swallow you if he let go. So close to you." Stunning 💕💕💕 Going to use all the adjectives I know for beauty when talking about your writing and it still won't be enough.

"Somewhere in his heart, there are bigger intentions – ones that potentially revolve around your happiness, granted – but this is not just a pleasant night out. Not just a casual evening to cheer you up." I am on the edge of my seat and I feel like I'm going to cry.

“You know… you can tell me when you’re not,” you let him know, tracing patterns along his scalp. “You take care of me all the time, but… you’re quiet a lot yourself.” Yes, yes, exactly!

"In the past, he might’ve done things a lot differently than he did today." Ah, so that's why he felt so weird about that interaction huh. Interesting.

"The waves of sudden and powerful delight pull him underwater; if he wasn’t drowning in adoration yet, he most certainly is now. Moments like these stop him from walking away." Oh no, was he thinking of walking away though 😥😥😥

"You’re the most vibrant, hitherto undiscovered colour in a reality of black and white. Make your surroundings look faded. It’s almost unfair to the rest of the world." This is just so beautiful.

“I need to tell you something.” God, here we go. Honestly, at this point I'm just as lost as OC about what he wants to do. Because he obviously loves her, but just like her, he has all of these fears and obviously he has to deal with all the paparazzi and parents problems too. And thinking about how he would do anything to help OC suffer less… I'm nervous.

“Angel, the truth is,” he interjects, “I’m so sick of pretending. I can’t wake up next to you anymore and act like I’m not,” he sighs, shaking his head, “head over heels for you.” The relief I feel right now is immeasurable, truly.

“You make me wanna be better,” you admit. “You make me feel safe.” 💕💕💕

"He cares about you more than you’ll ever know, doesn’t he?

And when he submits to his raging feelings and moves in one last time, you swear you won’t let him part from you again.

You’ve waited too long." Aaand, I'm crying now, this is beautiful. I would point out every line in this scene but I won't have the words to describe their beauty, so just know that I love every single line.

"The fireworks in your chest, the tongue that slips between the seam of your lips, your loss of control over your breathing. Worth it, worth it, worth it." It really was worth it 😭😭😭 This is such a beautiful moment.

"Is it you sighing or the stars? Is everyone and everything around you falling in love with him, too, or is this the gentle illusion he threw you in?" Literally gorgeous line after gorgeous line wow.

"You think – maybe you were right. Maybe your surroundings were falling in love with him, too. Maybe that’s why, all of a sudden, the sky is crying with you."!!!!!!!!!!

"You nod. Repeat, ”Home.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"The teases have changed, and your words and touches with them. You tell him how you can’t wait to arrive back home – he calls you a horny romantic. Giggles and glee accompany the car ride; lewd promises and soft exchanges." Lmao horny romantic is such a good way to describe them, I love it.

"Sometimes – oftentimes – his mind is entirely empty; yet, your name’s still floating around somewhere." 🥺🥺🥺 Them 🥺🥺🥺

"But whenever it does, the world decides to shatter it, and you along with it, in pieces." Oh god…

"You swallow the tight knot in your throat; your breaths are irregular. You whisper, “I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” 🥺🥺🥺

"Then again, the real world returned today. The fairy tale you experienced last night has ended – no matter how much instantaneous happiness you give each other… to him, it apparently doesn’t mean anything when the world is intent on breaking you apart." Oh, this is so painful.

"He doesn’t understand that it’s never about who has it worse. He still hasn’t understood that his pain is his pain; your pain is yours. You’ve been sharing your affliction with him; and he’s been enduring for you.

You knew it’d backfire." Ugh, I knew it too, and it hurts so so much.

"Jungkook brings his thumb to his mouth, nervously nibbling at its tip, and then he says, “You know… you were even doing somewhat okay with your parents until I came back again.” Him blaming himself for any of this is exactly what I was afraid of 😭😭😭

“And they’ll never stop doing that with me around. And those people out there,” he points to his window, clearly not talking about your dad or Daehyun, “they wouldn’t harm you anymore without me around.” The fact that I predicted this does not make it any less heartbreaking. Also, maybe Nara should have talked to him at the party instead huh. I trust her words to resonate with OC and make her fight for their relationship later though.

“That… you’ll be okay. I will be, too. But right now it hurts, okay? Maybe we can talk a bit later, but now just… We need to give ourselves a moment to think. To be without that damn pain just once.” 😭😭😭😭😭

"You almost don’t dare to ask – but your thoughts get the best of you. “I’m that pain for you… right?”

He doesn’t answer. In truth, you imagine what he might be thinking.

And I’m yours, angel." Crying once again but for a very different reason. I'm literally short of breath and my heart is squeezing in my chest. It's heartbreaking that earlier she kept talking about him being her comfort... and now we have this 😭😭😭

"In your imagination, smiles and kisses are everlingering, and the both of you are still vivid.

But in the cruel, real world, his warmth is fading." I feel so sad that I'm speechless right now.

About what I said how it's amazing that writing can evoke such emotions, that's still so true. I completely forget that I'm just reading a story, I love these characters and feel for them so much. And I'm heartbroken right now. I'll just keep reminding myself that a love like theirs always finds a way and to trust your process, lovely Rid. Thank you for everything 💞💞💞

colour me in: silhouettes | jjk (m)

Summary: Spending your days between the comfort of Jungkook’s walls should feel new, even strange to you – but in truth, you’ve never felt this much at home.

➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader ➳ rating:18+ ➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; angst, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: some more artistic moments!, a guest appearance, a party!, bits of jealousy, bathroom shenanigans, angsty dialogues, he brings her flowers </3, dancing!, someone flirts with mr jeon, tae and eun.. taeun <3, bit of playful banter 🥺, paparazzi being a pain in the 🍑, an outing !!!!!!!!!!!!, a very painful convo and tears, the freaking angst, co– [gunshot], explicit sexual content: drunk bathroom fumbling, dry humping, so in l*ve ew, soft sweet sex, simping, kis– [gunshot], oral (f. receiving), big dick jk, dom jk, teasing, mid-sex convos; the ending 🤒 ➳ wc: 23.7k 😐 ➳ a/n: here goes my first baby of 2023 !! as always, beta’d by the loveliest @missgeniality​ <3 this chapter was a tough one, but i hope you guys like it. please do let me know what y’all think; your words, feedback and support motivate me a lot 🥺 thank you for all the support so far <3

SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST MASTERLIST | WIPs

Jungkook is fast asleep when a memory of the past shakes you awake the next morning.

Keep reading

[matsukawamatt]

28 Sep ‘23

Back home with my little baby :)

I’m happy to see my family and everyone. I’m definitely feeling a bit happier and stuff, but I can’t stop thinking about her still. There must be something wrong with me. The past few nights, even NYC (where I stopped the other night) I’ve had extremely vivid dreams of her and, well, important people in my past life. My dreams last night had her dad in them who I considered, sort of, a friend and in the dream he was angry with me. Aggressive almost. He was basically telling me that I should never come near any of them again and almost that… wow, the more I think of this dream the more it fades? I can’t even accurately say what happened anymore. All I know is that he went from liking me to absolutely despising me. I know it was just a dream, but it still makes me wonder.. I always heard growing up how people hated their in laws but I actually LOVED her parents. Almost as much as I loved being with her hahahaha. Not seriously… but I loved her very much. Anyway, as I said last time in my previous post I’ll remember her in that moment. I cant stop thinking back to the last time I saw her. Being home makes all of this so much harder now.

I need to move on. I’m being annoying and possibly weird. I keep hoping she’ll message me, but I know this won’t happen so as soon as the thought surfaces I try to kill it. I could go on. Every thought I have still I want to share with her. Why is this so hard?? I guess being back home and not stuck on 300 meters of cold iron makes reality just that — reality.

———

Talking about this is making me sad

———

I’m seeing Josiah and the Bonnevilles tomorrow (just Josiah) lmao and also Drew Halcomb and the neighbors. This music has really brought peace to me recently and I found out they were playing up here at home, so I’m gonna go there & hope that I’ll make some friends or something. I think it’ll be a good time. If your reading this I probably dont know who you are or I’m dead or something, maybe years from now, so I’m happy you get to look at my trivial little life years from now. All these problems that are non-issues hahahah. To be fair, they’re real for me so, that’s something?

✌️

[myobmaya]

Nightmares

A/N: hi so I wrote this straight from my phone and I barely edited it so sorry for any grammar mistakes I’ll go through it later! Basically Eddie has nightmares from the Upside Down and reader helps him. There’s smut and I guess some angst? Idk pls enjoy!

You felt his bed shake before you actually heard him. It had to be about 3 o’clock the morning. His dreams usually turned to nightmares around this time. His legs tossing as he struggles to breath and the quiet gasps that leave his mouth have you alarmed. He’s struggling. The dreams are taking over and he’s finding it hard to differ dream from reality.

Nightmares.

He used to get them as a child usually after sneaking and watching a movie he knew he shouldn’t have watched as one does. But as he grew into his adolescence he got them less and less until they eventually became something he could easily turn his mind against.

Until recently.

Until the bats happened.

Until the Upside Down.

They were his normal now. Ever since he got back he never got a full nights sleep. Some nights were better than the rest but it always ended up like this. It would often start off with the memory of him and Dustin fighting off the demon bats. Then it would eventually lead him to the memory of them attacking him. Biting him. Scarring him. You saw the aftermath of what the actual attack did to him physically and how he’s now dealing with it mentally.

Sitting up you gently pressed down on his chest before trying to shake him. Whines and whimpers were only met as you saw his eyebrows furrow. It was completely dark in his room, the pale moon light shining from his window allowed you to just make the outline of his beautiful face as his bangs stuck to his forehead due to the sweat breaking out in his body.

“Eddie, wake up. It’s just a dream,” you tried shaking his shoulders this time as he continued to fight his mind. You leaned over him snapping your fingers and clapping your hands. Anything to get him to wake up.

“Come back to me, baby. Come on wake up,” this time you forgone your hushed tone purposely being louder in hopes it’ll snap him out of it. You gently yet firmly began to smack his cheeks wanting him to know he was back here with you as you repeated yourself getting louder with each call. You’d never lay your hands on him so doing so now was a fight within yourself but you were desperate to get him back. His head began to thrash back and forth and his hands were suddenly on your wrists stopping your attempts to wake up.

With a deep gasp Eddie shot up from his sleep sending you to topple over him at an awkward angle nearly missing the floor as you caught yourself at the edge of the bed. His breathing was loud and struggling as he tried to catch his breath.

“No, no, no, no!” The fear in his voice could be heard. Eddie looked around and realized he was in his room. His real room. He caught a glimpse of his guitar hung on his wall next to a pile of clothes that laid in front of it. The panic was clear in his eyes as he finally looked at you. He reached for you and you immediately climbed between his legs wanting to love him but still giving him time to adjust.

“It’s okay, Eddie. It was just a nightmare,” you tried to comfort him. Eddie opened his mouth to speak but it quickly shut as he struggled to breath. Taking one hand between yours and the other holding his cheek you guided it to your chest where you took in a deep breath.

“Eddie, you’re safe. It’s okay. Take a deep breath in,” you watched as his chest rose and stilled, “now out.” His chest followed suite and you could feel your heart crumbling as he held back tears. You let go of his face and both hands had his in yours as your thumbs rubbed circles on the back of his. After a few moments he took his hands back and ran them down his face as you heard him choked back his emotions.

He never cried in front of anyone. He didn’t do it before the Upside Down and he didn’t do it now. It didn’t matter how it physically pained him to choked back his tears, chest tightening and eyes burning, he refused to ever let anyone let alone you see him like that.

Eddie thought he was getting better at handling this. Whatever this was. The nightmares were always the same thing. Being trapped in the upside down and the bats attacking him did a number on him and his mind. The moment he got back he was no longer the same Eddie you had grown to know and love. The scars from the fangs of the bats remained forever on him.

“Can I hold you?”

He let out a shaky breath taking in his emotions nodding ever so slightly. Finally meeting your eyes yours began to water taking in the broken boy in front of you. Taking a chance you crawled up and sat in his lap wrapping your arms around his neck. Eddie closed his eyes taking you in and holding you against him. You stayed clinging to each other for minutes running a hand through his sweaty hair kissing his neck every so often reminding him you were there with him.

“They got you this time,” Eddie mumbled into your shoulder. You heard him sniffle and his hold on you get tighter before gently releasing you still keeping you in his arms. You knew he was talking about his dream. “The bats. They got you and I couldn’t do anything. The fangs and bite marks… and the blood oh my god Y/N, your blood was everywhere and I just, I—“ he choked on his words and you let go of his neck grabbing his face in your hands.

“Eddie, it wasn’t real. I’m here. I’m okay.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and as his lips quivered you placed a kiss upon them. His eyes opened and he shook his head. Eddie’s hands held onto your wrists that still held his face. His fingers feeling the pulse in your wrists.

“I just what it to stop.”

And with that the damn that held his emotions finally broke. Eddie bit back the sob that was bubbling in his throat and just allowed the silent tears to fall down his face. Everything stopped around you as you pulled his head into your neck. His hands never left your wrists as your sweet lover finally broke down.

“Make it stop. Please.”

His voice was a whisper now and you felt his lips kiss your neck before they trailed up to your lips. You kissed him back before pulling back to look at him. His eyes were swollen and watered and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than take away his pain and suffering.

“Please.”

You nodded as you let his hands guide you to sit fully on his lap once once. His hands trailed up under your shirt before resting on your bare breast. He kept eye contact with you as you broke away from him only to pull off the shirt from your body leaving you in your panties. You knew he should probably talk about this, but then again this wasn’t just something he could talk about nonchalantly. It would take time for him to open up and time is all you would give him if that’s what he needed. Eddie didn’t have to use his words to let you know what he was asking and you didn’t have to confirm his desire. This wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just a distraction. It was letting you both know you were there.

Eddie pulled you down with him as he laid back down never letting you go. The blanket that covered you both was kicked back onto the floor below you. In between the kisses you managed to pull his boxers down enough to free him as his hands left your chest to pull your panties to the side. His hands run up and down your back as his lips met the curve of your neck.

“I’m here, Eddie. Do you feel me? I’m here.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded slightly as he helped you lift your hips before you aligned him with you and connected as one. You both moaned as you raised your hips before rolling them forward. He always filled you up in the most satisfying way.

You looked down at Eddie watching as his mouth hung ajar. Hands resting on his chest before running them up and grabbing the back of his hair and kissing him as he moaned in your mouth.

Your hips continued their movements and soon you felt Eddie’s hand grasp your thighs. He didn’t sped up your movements, he just wanted to feel you as you rode his worry away. One hand left your leg but it was soon replaced in between your body as his fingers pressed down on your clit rubbing it in slow circles.

“I love you,” Eddie whispered as his eyes shut this time from the pleasure and not from his previous pain. The room filled with eager pants as you continued your pace both of you content with finishing with it.

The coil in your belly began to tighten and with the way your hands gripped onto his shoulders he knew you were close. Keeping his fingers on you, Eddie took his other hand and guided you down to melt into his lips. His other hand helping you as he picked up his hips and began to met yours.

“Let me feel you, sweetheart.”

You nodded letting out a cry as his lips trailed down your neck and to your breast swirling his tongue around you. Eddie rarely got off before you. He always made it his mission to make sure you finished and even now he needed to feel you clench around him more than ever. For the first time since waking up Eddie allowed himself to smile as you hugged his neck gripping onto the pillow below him. He always loved seeing and feeling you like this. The sweet noises that came flowing out of your mouth and the way you completely lost yourself always toppled him over the edge.

Coming undone on him Eddie soon followed holding you flesh against him as you rode out both of your highs together. His thrusts slowing down until hey eventually stopped and he just stayed inside of you. Soft kisses were met on his neck and his hands ran up and your naked spine before he turned you both to lay on your side facing each other.

Eddie kissed your nose as you struggled to keep your eyes open feeling the drowsiness creeping up on you. Before sleep could take over you slide him out of you giggling when you saw him visibly pout. As you raised up from the bed Eddie grabbed your hand squeezing it lightly with a panicked look on his face.

“M’m not going anywhere, my love. Just cleaning up real quick,” you pushed back his bangs, kissed his forehead and finally the hand holding yours as he let go of his hold. Eddie watched as you disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments before coming back out wearing one of his shirts. You had a washcloth in one hand and a pot of clean boxers in the other as you made your way over to him. Without a word you gently cleaned him up. Eddie took the undergarment from you and covered himself as you returned to the bathroom.

Returning back into his room you gathered the blanket that had been tossed off the bed and gathered it up your arms before tossing it onto the bed covering Eddie up in the process. Before Eddie could get it off of him you had already taken it off his face softly laughing as you crawled over him and met him by his side.

“Sorry, Eds,” you apologized as Eddie playfully rolled his eyes at you. Eddie turned on his side and you hugged his back kissing the back of his neck. He held your hands in his rubbing his thumb on top of yours. Eddie listened to the sound of your breathing and watched as your fingers clung around his. He could feel the trickle of your breath hitting his neck and for the second time that night he was reassured he was finally here.

Eddie waited for your breathing to find its pattern and your soft hums of sleep to fill his anxiety before he let himself finally relax. Eddie would go on to explain in more detail about his dream in the morning but for now he would let sleep take over him. For the first time that night, Eddie finally got a good nights rest as the nightmares were defeated. For now.

[ameliora-j]

twin flame iii // gw x reader

words: 2.2k

warnings: angst, breakup, mention of bruising, crying, angelina slander kinda (it’s just for the story i love her sm!), yn is sorta a pick me if you squint sry, cringey mediocre writing at very best

an: i used song lyrics for some of the argument and the ending :) i hope you like it besties!

part one | part two | part four

you george! i want you!

the words had been running through his mind since the night you left. he had been going over the days leading up to your explosion in his mind for weeks. your words were in his mind day and night. your pained expression, your anger, your hurt. you consumed him. more than you usually did.

george weasley knew he fucked up. he knew without anyone telling him. but they did anyway. every waking second they did. first it was fred, calling him a jerk. then ron, who called him a “bloody idiot.” then ginny, who told him it was his own fault. and then his mum. of course his mum, who said in exact words: “george fabian weasley, this is nobody’s fault but your own. quit moping around and do something to fix it! i didn’t raise you to treat women this way!”

his last straw, however, was his older brother percy. percy of all people. who looked at him with a disappointed shake of his head. receiving a disappointed head shake from percy was nothing out of the ordinary, especially for george. it was his words that stung. percy spoke ten simple words to him that truly set george off. percy spoke “you lost the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” at his sentence, george lost it.

“i know that percy! you don’t think i fucking know that i lost the best thing that ever happened to me! and fred i know i’m a jerk and ron i know i’m an idiot and ginny i know it’s my fault and mum i’m sorry okay! i know you didn’t raise me like this i don’t know what’s wrong with me but i don’t think she’s coming back!” he fell back onto the couch as he tugged frustratedly at his roots.

“george… do you love her?” molly asked him.

“yes mum,” a whimper escaped the fiery-haired boy’s throat. “i love her more than i’ve ever loved anyone before. she’s my world,” he revealed.

“then go, george. go get her,” his dad said. “for your sake and her’s,” he told him.

“and our’s!” fred called distantly from the kitchen.

“shove off fred!” george called back before apparating to your front door. he knocked three times and waited for someone to answer it. when you opened the door, he was shocked at your state.

makeup streaked down your cheeks with your shoulder bruised and your arm in a splint. your eyes were red and puffy, but they were furthermore accompanied by dark bags as if you hadn’t slept in weeks. the truth is; you hadn’t. “hi george,” you mumbled half heartedly.

“hi butterfl-“ you cut him off.

“yn. my name is yn,” you spoke sternly.

“i’ve called you butterfly since you were three…” he murmured.

“not anymore. hurts too bad to hear it. did you need something?” you quickly changed the subject.

“i want to talk to you,” he said. you nodded and walked in, telling him to follow you. george said hello to your brother and then followed you into the lounge where you two sat on the loveseat and you turned to face him.

you sat in a long silence as your eyes traced each other’s features. you memorized him. every line, every freckle, every bump, bruise, and blemish. the silence was deafening. untill he finally broke it. “what happened to your arm?” he murmured softly.

“it splinched when i apparated home. then i apparated again and made it worse,” you bit your lip softly.

“always so reckless,” he tutted softly, causing you to shrug.

“what’d you wanna talk about? know you didn’t come to talk about my arm…” you attempted to get to the point of his visit.

“right,” he murmured softly. “yn i…” he took a deep breath. “the day that i let you walk out of my life is the day that i made the worst mistake in the history of mistakes. i’ve done some stupid things in my life, but letting you walk away has by far been the stupidest. i’m so so sorry that i hurt you the way i did, i cannot express to you how sorry i am, i truly cannot. i love you, yn. with all of me i do, you have to believe me when i say that.”

“i do believe you george. i just don’t believe that you love me the way that i love you. and carrying around that pain is killing me. i mean absolutely destroying me. you live in my mind rent free. you’ve infested it,” you told him. “you with your stupid pretty smile and your god awful jokes and your ridiculous pranks that you somehow always rope me into and your perfect hair and your pretty eyes and just. you. george. stupid you. oblivious you. godric george,” you roughly shoved his chest. “i’ve loved you for years and you’ve always looked past me!” tears rimmed your bottom lash line and your voice cracked as you lashed out on him.

“for years george, i mean years! i’ve watched you fall in love with countless girls just to have your heart broken by them. i stuck by you through everything. even when you stopped being being my friend because it made angelina uncomfortable i waited for you george! and you just pushed me to the side. i did everything for you. i executed pranks for you. i planned pranks for you. i took the fall for you. i got detention for you! i did it all for you. i mean the countless amount of things i did just to be able to call you mine and i just… you didn’t care! you’ve never cared! you’ll never love me the way that i love you and that hurts. so. fucking. bad.” you wiped your eyes.

“it kills me george. it eats at me, every single day it does. i stood by your side and i took the blame with you even when i had nothing to do with the stupid shit you pulled at hogwarts because yeah i was going down, but hey, at least i was doing it with you, right? we made so much trouble and-and we used to laugh. and be happy. we were genuinely happy and i don’t know where we went wrong but we did, but i still say that i hate you with a smile on my face! i don’t get it george why don’t you love me!” a whimper tore itself from the depths of your chest as you let out a silent sob.

“now look what we’ve became…” he murmured, tears falling from your eyes.

“all the things i did just to call you mine… and… and all the things you said but… somehow, i still hope i was your favorite crime. cause merlin knows you were mine.” you sniffled as you wiped your eyes.

“you were mine. you’ll always be my favorite crime.” he leaned over and kissed your head as another silent sob racked your body. “now it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we did,” he smiled over at you sadly. “i love you butterfly. just as much as you love me, if not more,” he whispered as he stood from his place.

you rolled your eyes water-logged eyes, but still managed to smile. “i wish you thought about that before,” you whispered.

“i do too… i guess i’ll have to just call you the one that got away then?” he asked.

“in another life georgie… i’d be your girl. and we’d keep every promise that we made,” you told him.

“and i wouldn’t have to say you were the one that got away,” you nodded as he kissed your head again. “i love you, butterfly. i always have.”

“i love you too, georgie. i always will,” you sniffled as you watched him walk out the door. you didn’t want this. you wanted to stop him. everything in your body screamed at you to stop him. but your brain wouldn’t work. your heart said no. you were scared of being hurt again.

you wanted to do something. yell at him. tell him to come back. to hug you. to never leave you. to never let you go. but your heart wouldn’t let you. you were frozen in time.

~~

it’ll all get better in time.

you’d heard the saying time and time again. especially after your parents passed away. it was people’s favorite line to use when they saw you. the truth is… you didn’t stop hurting. the pain didn’t go away. you just got used to it. but the pain you were feeling now… you didn’t know if it would ever go away. at least it didn’t feel like it.

two months. it had been two months since george walked out of your house that night. it was nobody’s fault but your own, and somehow you couldn’t help wishing he would’ve stayed.

you saw him everywhere. in the stars in the night sky. in the sunrise and the sunset. in coffee shops and store windows. even in your dreams when you slept. so logically, you decided to stop. if you didn’t sleep you couldn’t dream. and if you didn’t dream, you couldn’t see him.

you dutifully ignored the pain in your chest like an annoying bug on a picnic. you pretended that you were fine, but the reality was; you weren’t. but you played it off. and you were able to keep up your facade. untill one day… that one fateful day tucked in the corner at ninety three diagon alley. your brother asked you to pick up ten second pimple vanisher because he had a date tonight and just received a pimple the size of jupiter on his nose, causing him to look like “the muggle myth rudolph the red-nosed reindeer” as he put it.

you walked into the shop and kept your head down as you searched the aisles. it wasn’t where it usually was. you knew this shop like the back of your hand, of course you had… you’d worked there for nearly three years. you furrowed your brows as you looked around. the shop had completely transformed. nothing was in the place it usually was. that’s when your eyes landed there. on her. right at the front, behind the till at the register you worked, in the uniform you wore was angelina johnson.

you sighed deeply as you extended your neck around the corner to where the office was. you smiled triumphantly as you saw fred sitting at his desk and began your trek. you gently knocked twice on the opened door and fred called, “come in,” distractedly.

you walked in and sat on the desk, right in front of him, forcing him to look up at you. “yn!” fred exclaimed.

“hi freddie!” you smiled as a giggle escaped your lips and you returned the death-grip hug he had enveloped you in.

“what brings you by? not that i don’t love seeing your pretty face, of course,” he shot you a playfully flirtatious wink.

“ybn needs ten second pimple vanisher because he has a date tonight and he woke up with a pimple the size of jupiter on his nose,” fred laughed loudly at your remark. “i tried to look for it, but the stores completely turned around,” you pouted slightly.

“oh yeah, we changed some things up because we needed room for our new products. they’re still in the making, but george disappeared,” he hummed.

“george what?” you asked.

“you didn’t know…?” he asked you.

“no. i… i had no idea,” you stuttered.

“yeah. after the night he went to talk to you, he left a note on our kitchen counter and all his things were packed and he just… left. we haven’t seen or heard from him since. ‘s just been angie and i running the shop now. couldn’t do it alone,” fred explained as he picked up the box. “here you are l-“ before he could finish, you were halfway out the door. “YN WAIT!” he called. “YOU FORGOT YOUR PRODUCT!”

“SORRY FRED! YBN WILL BE OKAY I HAVE TO GO!” you called as you ran out the door as fast as your feet would carry you. if you knew george weasley… and you did… there was only one place he could be. and you prayed to any and every god that would listen that he was there. you prayed like your life depended on it that he was okay. you needed to fix this. to fix him. to make it alright.

in this moment you knew that he needed you. he needed you like peanut butter needs jelly. the way left needs right. like the sun needs the moon. he needed you like you needed him. you ran and ran and ran for miles untill you got to a secluded area. then you took a breath. and you apparated.

it was exactly the way you left it. a dingy old wooden box house sitting at the highest branch of a sycamore tree. you groaned softly as you began to climb the many branches. “george i swear to godric you better be in here,” you grumbled to yourself as you climbed.

it felt like hours—truly it was ten grueling minutes at most—untill you got to the door of the house. you whispered the password and it creaked open. “georgie,” you breathed when you saw him.

there he was. laying on the floor of the treehouse wrapped in blankets and a sleeping bag with a small pillow under his head. the apple to your pie. the straw to your berry. the smoke to your high. the one you knew you’d marry.

the one that got away. your twin flame.

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[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that’s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”

[ddarker-dreams]

Saturnine. Yan Chrollo x Reader [SMUT]

Tags/warnings: Dubcon, oral sex, creampie, my brain melting, condescending ???, Chrollo always has smth to say Word count: 2.2k. Note: it is finally done .

When gazing into the mirror, it should be easy to recognize the reflection staring back as your own. It’s the sight you’ve seen your entire life. Maybe the light in your eyes is less noticeable and your smiles no longer appear genuine, but in the end, it still physically bears your image.

You shiver at the chilly air kissing your bare skin, goosebumps erupting at the lack of clothing. Thin fabric clings tightly around your body, sheer and intricate in its lace design, yet astonishingly soft to the touch. It accentuates the swell of your chest, the black as midnight fabric stopping just shy above your midriff. A matching thong connects to sheer thigh highs through a garter belt to complete the set. Never in your life can you recall wearing such a lascivious outfit. Nor did you think you’d ever wear one for him.

Covering your exposed cleavage with your arms, you lower your head, fingernails pressing so harshly against your skin that it hurts. The pain serves to ground you in reality, proof that this is happening and not a dream.

“Did I… do this right?” You murmur, not used to how Chrollo is wordlessly assessing your trembling figure. Normally the air is full of conversation, equal parts rigid and provocative, a verbal game you’ve been forced to navigate. You still prefer the mind games over this maddening silence. You’re convinced he can hear the way your heart pounds viciously as if it was attempting to free itself from your body altogether, the current stress it’s under too much to withstand.

Chrollo moves a step closer and you take a deep, shaky breath. Grey eyes rake over your body, like a predator monitoring its prey, inspecting every inch of you. He spreads his fingers against your stomach, coarse fingers gliding over your skin, gradually moving upwards.

“Mm. You did perfectly.” His voice is rich and husky against your ear, spoken lowly so that only you may hear it. When his fingers reach their intended target, he cups your chest and lays his head on your shoulder. You watch his actions in the reflection of the mirror, glossy lips parting but no words managing to form on your tongue. Emotions swirl within you like an unrelenting vortex. Repulsion. Frustration. Shame. That it came to this, lowering yourself to a level you never wanted to be reduced to.

While you ruminate in your misery, Chrollo presses featherlight kisses from the crook of your neck to your jaw. His lips are soft and well taken care of, curling into a smile at how your pulse quickens. There are numerous mysterious surrounding Chrollo, but you do not doubt that he’s enjoying himself now. Your attention is brought back to his hands on your chest and how he kneads them. A blush ignites when you feel something hard press brush your ass, already guessing what it is.

“S-so you’re going to,” you struggle to get out, releasing a gasp when he suddenly pinches your nipple, “Keep… keep your promise, right?”

The clarification is for your peace of mind. An internal justification is necessary to continue with this illicit act, doubts plaguing your mind. You feel his chest rumble against your back, a deep chuckle leaving him. Regret comes swiftly, knowing that anytime you speak to Chrollo his responses sting deep, piercing your skin and festering.

One of his hands comes to your jaw, tilting your head back to look at him. The proximity has your eyes wide as a doe, his warm breath fanning against your face, dark tresses of hair tickling your face. His grip is tight but not painful. A not so subtle reminder of the Phantom Troupe leader’s innate strength, that goes beyond any measurement your mind could conjure up. Your squeeze your eyes shut when he leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the edge of your lips.

“What if I don’t?” Chrollo’s question has you frowning, eyelids fluttering open so you can shoot him a glare. He stares back unfazed, amusement visible from his closed mouth smile and relaxed posture, clearly not feeling intimidated by your little show. You decide to give it some thought, knowing he’ll scrutinize your response if not chosen carefully. Though, it’s admittedly difficult to concentrate when your face is burning up and his hand is still groping your chest.

Swallowing thickly, you arrive at a half-decent comeback. “I’ll… I’ll hate you.”

It sounded far better in your head.

Chrollo raises an eyebrow at your rebuttal but decides to entertain it. “Don’t you already?”

“I’ll hate you even more,” comes your reply, stumbling out before you could think it over. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he doesn’t take visible offense. Instead, the bastard laughs again. Affectionately, Chrollo brushes his knuckles over your cheek, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Even more, huh,” he hums, your nonsensical ramblings sounding worse when repeated back. “If that’s the threat I’m contending with, then I’ll be sure to stick to my word.”

You’re not exactly reassured by this, but decide to leave it for now. Suddenly, Chrollo steps back, freeing you from his grip. Before you can ask about what he’s doing, his hands start loosening his belt. Ah. So the time for negotiating is over. His dress pants fall, revealing a prominent bulge pushing against his briefs.

“Now get on your knees for me.”

It wasn’t a request. You do as he says, hyper-aware of how he’s staring at you, the tile from your shared master bedroom cold against your shins. To save what little modesty you have remaining, you readjust your bra so your chest no longer threatens to spill out. Heartbeat picking up in pace, you lift a shaky hand, palming his crotch through the fabric. 

The muscles in his thighs tighten, yet every other aspect of him remains thoroughly composed. Playing with the waistband, you slowly pull it down, revealing Chrollo’s half-hard member. It’s long, around six inches when erect, with a prominent vein that you’ve learned is rather sensitive. Precum is already leaking from the head, a sight that worsens the blush on your face.

Chrollo runs his hands through your hair, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. You pick up on the unspoken encouragement to not keep him waiting. Readjusting yourself into a more comfortable position, you take his dick fully into your hands, giving it a tentative stroke to test the waters. No verbal response. He’s excellent at maintaining his composure, creepy as it may be. Pumping his cock from the base, you bow your head down, eyelids fluttering shut as you kiss and lick the tip. That earns you a sharp inhale and a tightened grip but nothing else. Wetting your lips with your tongue, you continue licking the tip while jerking him off, noting that his cum has a slight salty taste to it.

Now that your confidence has somewhat been built up, you part your lips to take more of him in, getting adjusted to his size. Chrollo lets out a shaky exhale, fingers curling deeper into your hair. It’s difficult to get into a solid rhythm as your anxiety is unrelenting. Being so vulnerable in front of a person whose hands, which are now intertwined with your hair, have slaughtered countless people. 

He could do the same to you at any time, you think, despite his insistence for not wanting to. Hollowing out your cheeks, you manage to take more of him in, stopping just shy as not to activate your gag reflex. It makes your stomach churn when he lovingly strokes your cheek, looking down at you with eyes glazed over with crazed lust. Of course, he wouldn’t make this easy on you and act different — he continues with the delusion that this is love.

“Eager, now are we?” Chrollo laughs breathlessly. You decide to ignore the comment, too focused on having him finish so you can move on with your night. The low groans and whispers of your name are starting to affect you, a factor that only adds to your shame.. Pangs of heat are building up in between your legs, which you subconsciously rub together in a feeble attempt to relieve yourself. Chrollo quietly groans, content at the sight, dick twitching in your mouth. You wish he hadn’t noticed just how turned on you’re growing — not that you’re surprised with how unfairly observant he is — fully prepared for more scathing comments.

“I’m glad you stopped being so stubborn,” he pushes himself deeper into your mouth, gripping your head tightly enough not to let you move away, “So I can finally have my way with you.”

You wince at how he forces his dick down your throat, tears stinging the corners of your eyes and lungs screaming for air. Chrollo drinks in the sight, shuddering, bucking his hips, and pulling your face as tight against him as he can. You figure his release is getting closer from how erratic his movements are growing. At least it’ll be over soon. This line of thought is interrupted as he pulls away, saliva and cum connecting your mouth to his dick in a thin line, which has you frowning. Relishing the opportunity to regain yourself, your lungs greedily gulp in air, and you cough from his previous actions.

Chrollo extends a hand out to you which you hesitantly accept. The more human side is starting to show, his skin sheening with sweat, bare chest heaving for air much like yours, and black tresses sticking to the sides of his face. Your lips part, intending to ask why he stopped. He places both his just hands below your ass, hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing. Yelping, you struggle and cling to him as not to fall, eyes wide with confusion.

“W-what—”

“Wrap your legs around me,” he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead and you do as he says, scared that you’ll fall otherwise. “Mm. Good girl.”

Chrollo carries you over to the wall, your back pressing against the hard surface and feeling its coolness on your bare skin. After thinking about it for a moment, you understand what it is he intends to do next, tightening your grip around him. He positions the head of his cock against your opening, smiling at how wet you are. At least he’s too focused to comment on your current state. You look to the side, not wanting to see the pleased expression you know is on his face.

“I’ll take care of you after,” Chrollo promises, slowly pushing himself inside you. You take a deep breath, gripping his shoulders tightly, fingernails digging into his skin. At least he’s allowing you to adjust. You yelp when he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging it so that you look him dead in the eye. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Hm?”

A half-choked out moan leaves your lips as he fills you, feeling his sizeable length stretching you out.

“Y-yes,” You pant, carnal desire outweighing any solid reasoning at the moment. Chrollo continues to pound relentlessly into your cunt, burying his face in your neck. He’s coming undone, fucking you with a strength that has you breathless. You catch occasional guttural groans of your name and don’t want to admit how nice it sounds.

“I always knew you’d come around.” 

The sound of skin on skin fills the room, mixed in with his grunts and your moans. Squeezing your ass, his thrusts grow erratic, before he finally stills. Chrollo releases deep inside you, pulling you down onto him, hot ropes of cum filling you and seeping out.

He grits his teeth, shuddering at his release. All is still for a moment aside from your heavy chests. Chrollo gathers himself before you do, slowly pulling himself out. You feel his cum as it drips out of you and bite your lip at the possible implications. Everything is so warm and your body feels terribly sore, having to clutch onto him for stability when he puts you back down. Chrollo doesn’t seem to mind this, laughing as he runs his hands through your mousled hair.

“How precious.”

You yelp when he picks you up, bridal style this time, your face pressing against his chest.

“It looks like you needed some help there, dear.” Chrollo hums, placing you down onto the bed with a gentleness you weren’t used to. There’s no way any normal human could be this collected already. Taking deep breaths, you attempt to calm yourself, not wanting to be completely undone before him. Chrollo watches with intrigue while you do so, his eyes piercing through your trembling body. When you finally manage to get your breathing steady, he gently pushes your shoulders down and spreads your legs.

“Now, about that promise of mine,” he presses open-mouthed kisses from your ankle to your thighs, “I intend to keep it. We’ll keep going until you’re no longer able to stand.”

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

No future with a boy like this - F.W

Summary: Fred disappoints you more than once, giving you no other choice, you had to let him go.

Warnings: ANGSTY, cursing, implied sex very briefly, FLUFF AT THE END

A/N: my firsts time writing angst and I really don’t know if i was overdramatic or not enough dramatic lol please give feedback

April- 1996 - Hogwarts

Y/n was waiting on the tribune next to the quidditch field. It was already getting darker now. An orange glow spreading over the field. The sun was going down already. She was sitting there for two hours now.

She promised herself she would stop waiting after an hour but here she was, still hoping he would show up.

It was her birthday, it was her fucking birthday. And this wasn't the first time. It started with little dates, he forgot them sometimes but y/n didn't mind, he made it up every time.

He hurt her by forgetting those things all the time. But it was Fred Weasley after all. You knew this was coming when he became your boyfriend. You even got used to it. He was always busy. That's just how Fred is.

And here she was again. Trying to not let the tears of disappointment fall down on her cheeks. She felt miserable and decided to finally call it a night, going back to her dorm. She was exhausted.

Walking down the corridors, she saw Fred. He was just sitting there, laughing with George. That's when it was clear, he wasn't even late, he just forgot.

He saw her and smiled, walking her way, but she turned on her heals immediately. "Y/n!" he screamed confused. He followed her and his long legs made it easy to catch up.

She didn't answer, finding it much harder to hold back her tears now. "Y/n? Hey? What's wrong?" he asked.

Y/n stopped abruptly. "You really don't know?" she hissed.

A confused look formed on his face. "What do you mean"? he stammered. A tear fell down her cheek and his face was full of guilt now, without even knowing what he did.

"You forgot", you snapped, "again!"

He was thinking for one minute. It really took him one minute. What was wrong with that boy?!

Suddenly a wave of realization hit him. "Fuck." he squealed.

Y/n didn't need this shit right now, and ran away before he could say something. Making him run after her. "NO y/n wait! I'm so sorry, I won't forget next time, I promise, I'm so sorry" he begged while grabbing her arm, pulling her closer to him.

"You say that every time Fred" she sighed, another tear fell down.

It broke Fred's heart. It really did. He didn't mean to forget this things, he didn't want to hurt you. His mind was just so full all the time. So many things were going on in those brains of his.

"I mean it, I'm sorry, I love you y/n" he assured.

And she fell for it, like she always did. It happened every time. Fred said things that made her melt, and she forgave him. It was nothing new. Because how could she not? The sweet boy didn't mean to hurt her, she knew that, everyone knew that.

But still, her friends warned her. There was no future with a boy like this. It couldn't stay like this. So she swore to herself this was the last time. She made that clear to Fred too.

Because what if he's the love of her life? Her future? This was her last year after all, y/n’s future was right in front of her. What if Fred was her future? You both couldn't give that up.

May- 1996 - Hogwarts

Everything was alright.

They were okay.

And Fred hasn’t been late for a whole month, sounds like nothing special but to him and her it was.

This weekend y/n was going home, and not just home, but with Fred.

After a year it was time for him to meet her parents. Fred claimed he was the perfect son in law, so he didn’t hesitate to agree. Y/n was nervous and excited at the same time.

Ready in her dorm, with a portkey, she had her favourite sundress on. She was waiting for Fred but he didn’t show up. Okay it was only 15 minutes now, but with their little history it made her nervous. She was absolutely sure Fred wouldn’t forget this. He can’t forget this.

20 minutes later she was still waiting.

No. This couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be.

And then, she found a note under her potionsbook. After reading only one word, she was already furious, a growing heat filling her cheeks.

Dear y/n, love

I remembered. I swear. But I just won’t make it. I’m not feeling okay and I think I might have a fever or something. I don’t want to make you or your parents sick, so I’m staying in my dorm.

I love you, kisses Fred x

She didn’t really know what to think. She was so disappointed, again.

But she could’t blame her boyfriend for feeling sick. Although she had her doubts, what if this wasn’t true, maybe he lied because he did forget it?

No, no, she had to trust him. Fred wouldn’t lie to her. So she grabbed the portkey and went to visit her parents.

Alone.

-

When she traveled back to Hogwarts it was late already, past midnight. Y/n hoped Umbridge wouldn’t catch her.

The corridors were empty, completely silent. This was not unusual. Most of the students were already asleep this late on a Sunday.

Unexpectedly, she heard gigles and laughs coming from around the corner. Did it come from the library? It couldn’t be. Not at almost 1 am.

She went closer to listen. Y/n placed her ear on the door. Was it... Was it...? No. No.

Did she hear Fred’s voice?

She really hoped she was just imagining this. Maybe she should trust Fred more.

But just checking won’t hurt right?

So she tried to open the door. It was locked.

“Alohamora” she whispered.

What she saw broke her heart into a million pieces.

Angelina sat on a table, with Fred extremely close to her, giggling. George and Lee were there too.

She couldn’t believe her own eyes. Looking silently in Fred’s shocked ones.

“Fuck” he sighed. “Y/n-“ he tried.

But she cut him off before he could say anything. “No, I don’t wanna hear another silly explanation from you, it’s enough, I don’t want to see you ever again” she screamed with tears in her eyes, making her vision blurry.

Y/n ran away, faster than ever so Fred couldn’t catch up this time.

“Stop!! Stop!” she heard him scream behind her.

She ran and ran, not even knowing were to.

“Let me explain” another scream followed.

That’s when she ended up in a corridor she didn’t know. A dead end. Ofcourse.

She gave up and stopped. Fred ended in front of her, breathing loudly, trying to catch his breath.

“Baby I-“ he tried

“Don’t call me baby, this is over” y/n cut him off.

Fred was speachless, for the first time in history. He didn’t realise this truly happened. He knew what he did wasn’t okay, but he never expected her to actually broke up with him. It just didn’t occur in his mind this was a possibility.

“But.. but...” he stuttered. “I swear, I can explain, what you’ve just seen, it wasn’t what you think it is. I’ve told you about the shoppe George and I want to open, right? It’s actually going to happen. We’re leaving hogwarts. That’s what we were doing, we were planning things. Tomorrow we’re going to blow up Umbridge, no not literally blow up, but with lots of firework! And then we’re going to open the shoppe together. It’s my dream y/n!” he rambled excited.

Y/n sighed. Understanding why he did this, but it didn’t change a thing.

“That actually makes things worse Fred. I’m happy your dream will come true. But you’re leaving and I’m finishing my year. When are you going to have time for me if you run a shop? You didn’t even have time for me now.” she cried.

Both of them were crying now. Knowing the break up was really going to happen. Fred wanted to keep fighting. But he knew she might be right.

A little sob left his mouth, something he never did before. She was right. He truly loved her but he couldn’t give her the happy future she deserved. He wasn’t right for her, he didn’t treat her the way she should’ve been treated. And the idea broke him. And that’s when she walked away.

They didn’t see each other again afterwards.

The next day, y/n laid in her bed when she heard fireworks, knowing what happened. She couldn’t go outside and watch...

Happy screams and laughs filled the castle. And that’s when she realised Fred and George were gone now. It was reality now. They won’t come back. Although a little part of her hoped they would stay. A little part of her thought Fred would come to her, begging her to stay with him. But she guessed he just didn’t love her enough.

After all the times Fred broke her heart, she was kind off used to it. But those heartbreaks couldn’t ever overcome this one.

August - 1996 - Diagon Alley

The summer was almost over, y/n graduated two months ago. The heartbreak still hurted but she was better now. She still didn’t know what to do now that she’s graduated.

Hermione decided you two had to go shopping. “It’ll make you happier” she stated like it was an actual fact. Y/n couldn’t say no of course.

Y/n’s breath hitched. A big clone of Fred’s face right in front of her (or George). This had to be their joke shoppe. God, it was more impressive than she expected. Guess you should never underestimate the twins.

“Let’s go inside y/n!” Hermione announced excited, grabbing her arm trying to puch her inside.

“Oh no no no no no, I don’t think that’s a great idea” she hesitated.

“Don’t worry, it’s so busy, Fred won’t see you” she promised her. Y/n sighed. She really didn’t want to go inside. She’d love to see the shoppe, but seeing Fred...

Whatever, it was true. It was so busy so Fred won’t ever notice her.

They entered, y/n was surprised, it was wonderful. Fred and George must have worked so hard to get to this point. God, she loved the place.

It brought back memories. All those joke products, most of them were used on her, she remembered. Fred thought it was hilarious to prank her literally all the time, being proud because it was something he invented himself. She couldn’t be mad about it, it made him so happy.

The place even smelled like him.

Y/n took a deep breath trying to gather all of the smell, in hope it would stay in her nose, so she could remember it back home.

She closed her eyes and imagined how it could be, if they didn’t broke up. How she would probably come here everyday to say hi, how she would watch Fred all day doing his job.

And then... she saw him. In his uniform, he stood there proudly on the stairs above her. Smiling happily, seeing all those laughing people because if his work.

He was happy. Fred missed y/n but he was happy. He thought a lot of all the things he did wrong. Although he didn’t really have time to worry.

Y/n sighed, it’s been months. Her heart was glowing inside her chest. She didn’t even feel sad any more. This was what her boyfriend always dreamt of. Her ex-boyfriend.

She turned around deciding it was not smart to look at the beautiful boy, the boy who still made her knees go weak.

Fred’s smell was more vibrant than before now. Almost like he was right in front of me.

Ow, love potions, of course.

Of course she still smelled Fred in it.

“I smell honey, flowers and vanilla soap” she heard a familiar voice whispering in her ear, almost making her jump.

“F-fred, hey” she stuttered, in shock by the fact he’s standing right in front of her.

“You look great, changed your hair” he smiled. It was true, y/n cut her hair a little shorter and decided to give it a lighter colour for the summer. The typical breakup haircut.

“Fred do you want to... talk... please?” she asked, knowing it wasn’t a great idea. She wanted to just run away after she realized what she said.

“We could go upstairs, talk in my appartment”

October- 1996 - Diagon Alley

“Come on darling, George opened up already!” Fred screamed running through his kitchen while jumping, trying to get his pants on. He grabbed an apple as breakfast.

Y/n ran to the kitchen too. “I thought you changed the being late thing” y/n joked, yes they joked about it now.

“You were the one holding me up this time” he smiled adding a wink. “You just can’t resist me in the bedroom” y/n answered daring.

She grabbed him by his collar, pressing a kiss on his lips. “I have no choice with the sexiest girlfriend in the word” Fred grinned, pressing kisses all over your face, making you giggle.

“Baby, you’re wearing your uniform backwards” he laughed.

Y/n worked at the shoppe now too.

When she asked Fred to talk, they actually talked for hours. They talked about what went wrong in their relationship, about what they had been doing in those months they broke up, talked about how they still had feelings,...

And after two hours they made up. Both being happier than ever, deciding they learned from their break up.

Fred asked her to come live in his apartment and work in their shop too. Y/n didn’t hesitate for a moment. She designed their boxes or packages and talked to costumers. But most of all she distracted Fred by rolling her uniforme skirt up and bowing down to ‘grab’ something. Sometimes he took her back to the appartment because he couldn’t hold back anymore.

Y/n now knew, the breakup was necessary. You both learned. And now you’re happier than ever.

Because after all, Fred was your future.

***

[teddy06writes]

Some unspoken thing

Karl Jacobs x Reader 

requested: no

Trigger warnings: mentions of covid, mild descriptions of a panic attack

premise: You and Karl have been friends, for years now, and now even your friends are starting to see that unspoken thing between you

“---” talking

‘---’ talking through a call

(y/s/n) -  your screen name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d known Karl since you were at least 10, and you both agreed that you’d been together forever, through thick and thin it was always you and Karl against the world. You and your unspoken thing.

When he’d first spoken of moving away from Portland you weren’t too sure, mostly because of college, but still, you found yourself here, sprawled across a couch, exhausted from hauling boxes up to your apartment. 

“Why did we bring so much stuff?” You groaned as Karl picked up your legs long enough to sit down, then letting them drop into his lap. 

He sighed, “Don’t quote me on this, but it was you who couldn’t pack your stuff into less than 20 boxes.” 

“Yah okay Mr. ‘I can’t be bothered to even clean this laundry before I pack it up to leave’.” You scoffed.  

“That's not true! I washed most of it...” Karl trailed off pulling out his phone, “Pizza?” 

“Obviously.” 

Soon the pizza arrived and as Karl went to the door to grab it, you went and grabbed two monsters from the fridge, sitting back down in front of the couch as Karl came back with the pizza. 

“Ey I gotta pizza here!” He exclaimed, setting it down. 

“Eyyyyyyy!” You handed him one of the monsters, opening your own as he sat down, already starting to pull up an old episode of survivor. 

Once the pizza had been finished, and the left overs put away you ended up half cuddled together on the couch, your fingers softly carding through his hair. 

^^

“Hey! I’m back!” You called, looking around the seemingly empty apartment, confused, “Karl?” 

It had been a few months since, you’d moved out to North Carolina, and so far online school hadn’t been too bad even when corona hit, not with Karl and streaming to distract you from the reality of the world around you.

You went back to looking around for your friend, calling, “Hey, Karl where’d you go?” 

Sighing you followed the soft, muffled sobs to Karl’s room, knocking on the door softly, “Honey, are you in there?” 

There was silence, then a muffled, “un uh.” 

You pushed open the door gently, blinking into the mild darkness and turning to see Karl sitting on his bed, half curled into the wall and wrapped in a sweater he’d stolen from your closest a few weeks ago. 

Immediately  you crossed the room, climbing onto the bed next to him and pulling him into your arms, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

His arms drifted around your waist, burying his into your chest, “They all hate me.” He murmured. 

“Who do you think hates you?” You cooed. 

“Dream and Sapnap and everyone.”

“They don’t hate you, no one on the smp hates you.” You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “What happened?” 

“I said somethin stupid, (y/n), I messed everything up.” 

You knew not to push any further, instead just doing your best to hold him closer, whispering, “They don’t hate you, they’d never hate you okay? It’ll all blow over and everything will be okay. I promise.” 

“What if it doesn’t (y/n)? What if I messed it up forever?” 

“You didn’t baby, you didn’t. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.” 

^^

“Ahhhhhh leave me alone!” You half shrieked, running away from Sapnap and Quackity on the dream SMP. 

‘Imposter! Imposter!’ They chanted. 

“I’m just supposed to be babysitting the chat!” You yelled, “I didn’t sign up to bully on a twitch stream! If I wanted that I would’ve been on my own stream!”

Sapnap laughed, ‘Oof! That's sad.’ 

“I know,” You said dramatically, “No one has any respect for (y/s/n), not you, not my chat, not even Karl!” 

‘We all know thats not true.’ Quackity scoffed. 

You half turned, giggling as Karl, came back into the room, “Debatable.” 

“What’s uh, whats going on?” He asked. 

“I’m being bullied, that's what's going on,” The chat started to fill with hearts and ‘(y/s/n) support.’, “Also I’ve decided since your chat likes me more than mine, so this is my stream now, I’m taking over.” 

Karl just half sighed, grabbing the chair from your desk on the other side of the office, and wheeling it over, sitting down next to you, propping his legs in your lap. 

‘(y/n) the world wants to know, how does it feel to now fill the void where Karl Jacobs once sat?’ Quackity asked, through a voice filter. 

“Well, since my dear friend Karl died,” 

“I’m not dead!” He interjected.

You sniffed, “Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

“Dear friend?” Sapnap scoffed, “Al- Quackity look at the stream and tell me if they look like ‘dear friends’.” 

You face started to grow red, as both Nick and Alex began to catcall at you two, Karl, clearly getting confused as you ducked your head, face entirely red. 

“Whats the matter (y/n)? You got a crush?” Nick teased. 

Half covering your mouth you muttered, “Just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

“If I were to tell you that I kinda sorta didn’t listen to you, and forgot to buy more cereal, what would you say?” Karl asked, shrugging off his backpack as he came into the apartment. 

When he got no real response, he started to look around, finding you a minute later, laying on his bed, “Did’ja hear me?” 

“ehhhh... I don’t really care.” 

His brow furrowed upon hearing your monotonous, “You okay? What’s up?” 

You were still staring up at the ceiling “Grey, ‘s all grey.”

Sighing he came and sat down on the bed next to you, taking one of your hands in his, “Grey?” 

“Sad brain makes everything grey.” 

Karl fiddled with your fingers a moment, before raising them to his lips and softly pressing a kiss to your knuckles, “I’ll go make you tea.” 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

A few minuets later he came back with a mug, handing it to you before he sat down behind you, wrapping his arms around you, “Is there a reason for sad brain today?” 

“Everything's just- blah. I’m just tired.” 

He didn’t need to ask to understand you didn’t mean physically, so instead he just pulled you gently to lean against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to the edge of your jaw, “Okay?”

You knew Karl had a hard time with words sometimes, and you had long since learned how to listen for the meanings between simple phrases, and especially the weight of certain words, “Okay.” 

^^

‘So what is with you and Karl?’ Niki asked. 

You sighed, “I do not even know where to begin to answer that question.”

You were sitting in a discord call with her, originally trying to plan a joint stream but the conversation had switched.

‘I mean, if you don’t mind me saying so, it seems like your dating.’ 

“Well...” You considered it for a moment, you knew that your feelings for Karl were more than platonic, and had been for a long time, to you, it almost seemed like a fact of the world, the sky is blue, the earth is round, you loved Karl. 

“We've never talked about it, but- I suppose we- uhhh, you know what we’ll just say a little bit.” You quickly changed what you were going to say to be more ambiguous as Karl entered the room yelling, “Hi Niki!” 

‘I know you can’t hear me but hi Karl!’ She yelled back. 

You laughed, turning in your chair, “Niki says hi!” 

Karl grinned, leaning on the back of your chair, “Oh, yeah, dinners ready.”  and Niki raised her eyebrows, smirking at you.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You laughed, feeling Karl’s chin coming to rest on the top of your head. 

‘I’m not looking at anything.’ she insisted, ‘you would be a cute couple.’

Your face started to turn red, “Shut up!” 

‘It was a compliment!’ Niki laughed. 

“I know!” 

Karl’s face grew confused, “What?”

“It’s nothing. Niki I’ve gotta go, we’ll see about the stream tomorrow, okay?” 

‘yeah, bye!’ 

“Bye!” 

You disconnected from the call, “Dinner?” 

“Yeah! I managed not to burn the chicken!” 

You couldn’t help but grin, “Awesome!” 

^^

“I swear- either there both oblivious or there just really good at keeping it just hidden enough!” Dream exclaimed. 

“I mean if we don’t find out for another two weeks, I get a hundred dollars, so by all means let it drag out.” Quackity laughed. 

Sapnap groaned, “Actually its more like three hundred now, Hbomb, Skeppy and Wilbur all put in more money.” 

“Well I asked the other day,” Niki began, “and they only said, ‘a little bit’, What does that even mean?” 

“Maybe they are dating and that's (y/n)s way of dismissing it.” Tubbo said. 

You were listening to the discord call, trying not to laugh, as Tommy suggested, “Well it’s possible they are dating but like, haven’t realized it?” 

Everyone began to laugh, “Wait- wait hear me out! Hear me out! Like- you know when on like romcoms and shit where two bestfriends end up like there dating even when they technically aren’t and then they accidently kiss!” 

George scoffed, “That's not a thing.” 

“Well still!” Tommy tried to argue. 

“Not even in movies though.” Niki said. 

“Your right,” You laughed, unmuting, “We haven’t kissed yet, so it must not be a thing.” 

The vc went deadly silent as Tommy began to laugh hysterically, “Were you here the whole time?” 

“Maybe.” You laughed. 

“Wait- so are you and Karl together or not?” Dream questioned. 

“Uhhh, let you know when I find out? Do I get the money if I figure it out?” 

“Oh my god (y/n).” Tubbo was trying not to laugh himself as Tommy continued to lose his shit. 

“Yeah,” You looked over to where Karl was half asleep, leaning against you, “I’ve said it before, and I guess I’ll say it again, it’s just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

Music filled the apartment when you entered, some old song by Sinatra, and Karl was dancing around the living room as you pulled off your coat and mask. 

“Are you listening to Sinatra?” You questioned, setting the rest of your things down. 

“Come dance with me!” He giggled. 

You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you grabbed his hand, letting the other come to rest on his shoulder, “God, it’s been so long since I’ve dance.” 

“Come on, you remember don’t you?” 

You chuckled, “Back, side, forward, back. Technically this isn’t a waltzing song though.” 

“You can waltz to anything if you try hard enough,” Karl insisted, “Ready, and- one two three, one two three...” 

You fell into step, quietly humming along to the song as you moved in a slow arc around the room.

“..And- spin out...” Karl murmured, gently spinning you out to the side, and you paused for a a moment before he tugged on you arm, causing you to spin back in, finding yourself, face to face with him. 

You laughed nervously, suddenly blushing at the feeling of his arms around you. 

“What are we?” Karl asked softly, “Like, what is- this?” 

“Some unspoken thing.” Your voice was just as low, suddenly the weight of the hand resting on your lower back seeming to double.

He looked at your lips, then back at your eyes, and you nodded softly, leaning in and pressing your lips together. 

Your arms drifted around his waist as he pulled you closer, before you separated, smiling. 

“Does that mean it’s spoken now?” Karl asked. 

You grinned, “Course.” 

Later, after spending the rest of the night like any other you were cuddled up together on the couch, watching the newest episode of survivor, and you pretended not to notice as he gushed to someone through text. 

Your phone began to buzz with  venmo notifications, and Karl looked at you confused, “(y/n), why is everyone paying you?” 

You chuckled, “Reaping the benefits of our friends conspiring in a discord call that was left open.” 

After the kiss you had sent one text to a group chat; ‘I figured it out: pay up bitches.’

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

Seven- Mommy Issues

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything

Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.

A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)

Previously

Afraid Masterlist

Song recommendation

Gif made by me!

As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?

She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.

She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.

By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.

She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.

And she was right.

A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.

The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.

Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.

The missing paper read as so:

“This is my dream, John.

And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.

Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.

And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.

I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.

Be the parent I will never be able to be.”

Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.

John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.

Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.

It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.

The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.

But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.

She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.

And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.

When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.

She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.

Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.

Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.

A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.

“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.

“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”

“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”

“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.

“Yeah, but it feels like it.”

“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”

“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”

“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”

“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”

“How did you find me, anyway?”

“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”

“I do not!”

“You so do!”

And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.

Taglist

@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank

If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!