#guard dog and lamb dynamics make me go crazay

[secret-smut-sideblog]

The Wolf

Lavellan x Blackwall

PG-13 - death, mentions of suicide attempt, death wish, loss, cultural grief, survivors guilt, relationships forming, sexual tension, rivalry

Waking in a prison, Lavellan finds herself the captive, then leader, of a force trying to close a rift in the sky. Recruiting a gruff dark stranger in her journey...

Masterlist

-

Sweet swirling dark. Her body wandered, released from exhaustion. Peace. A kind voice whispers.

Wake up.

Her eyes drift open. The world greets her dark with damp chains around her wrists. Low torchlight casts guardsman shadows as twitching giants against stone walls.

She rises onto forearms, tightly clenching her eyes. Gods damn her, she wasn't supposed to sleep. Grief raw in her chest.

A new pain in her palm. Flexing her long fingers, she stared at the sickly green light housed in her skin. Vague memory coming back to her.

"The Dalish elf is awake, Seeker."

A woman with close cropped hair entered her prison, staring down in that complex glare humans always gave her. Her ancestry set them against her, but her visage always drew them in regardless. Otherworldly beauty confusing their senses. Regarding her with distrust but unable to help their awe.

She rose to gently cup her hands on her kneeled thighs. Shoulders back, leveling her eyes to this captor.

The woman's eyes skirted away from her gaze for a moment. A graceful woman came up behind her, long hair and delicate armor. Darting her eyes to her companion and back to the golden kneeling figure.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now. The Conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead. Except for you." The tall woman urged, her voice thick with righteous grief.

Strange memory overcame her. A wasteland crawling with spiders. A woman made of green light, reaching for her hand. The same hand that now crackled with unsteady energy, pulling her in a single direction.

Aurum rose it, turning her palm to her gaze.

Her life mattered very little, but she had questions. Closing her eyes in a flutter as they were swiftly answered.

"Kill me if you must." She hushed, ignoring the secrets unfolding in her mind like flowers. The woman's name, her goal, already told to her long ago. The rift spewing demons clear to her, high above them. "I'm sorry for what happened here."

Cassandra paused, surprise flicking behind her anger. She grasped Aurum's chained wrist, lifting the green sparking between them.

"Explain this."

Aurum closed her eyes, giving in to the secrets. But they had little to show her.

"There was a woman made of light. She pulled me out. Then I woke up here. I remember little else."

Leilana's eyes flashed, gripping onto Cassandra's forearm. Silent information passing. Well, intended to be silent.

Dirthamen, god of secrets and knowledge, had touched her back. She had been here before. She knew these women and their cause. She knew how this ends.

"You're lying!" Cassandra urged, lunging towards her. The shake in her voice betraying her conviction.

"Cassandra, we need her." Leilana soothed, pushing her back.

"What is your name, elf?" Leilana approached, Cassandra her seething shadow.

"I come from clan Lavellan. I have no name. Your holy men called me Aurum." She tried to keep the bite out of her voice. Their church, the chantry. The ruin of all of her.

"Why were you at the Conclave?"

Their meeting to begin peace talks between mages and templars. The warriors sworn to corral mages, now assigned themselves executioner. Held by their most powerful holy woman, now dead. An explosion.

She had been sent with a mission to gather information for her clan. But it was clear what it truly was. An exiling. A death march.

Before the explosion cut through her, she had been heading up the cliff to throw herself into the sea.

"My clan sent me. The war between your people has bled into our path. They sought information on when it would cease."

That seemed to satisfy her interrogation. Cassandra came forward, cupping her slender shoulder.

"Go to the forward camp. I will take her to the rift."

Cassandra leveled a glare down at her as feet departed. Aurum stared back up.

"I'm ready to die, if that is your intention."

Her jaw clenched, a thin empathy behind her eyes. With a huff, she leaned down and unlocked her shackles.

"You're coming with me first."

She rose on steady feet. The constant self imposed exhaustion receded. Her body sighing out from sleep.

"I have one question." Aurum hushed. Cassandra stopped in her stride, a softness in her gaze.

"Who braided my hair?" The long plait rested against her hip. Shining gold even under the damp lighting.

"Solas." Cassandra sighed, taking Aurum's forearm to encourage forward. Both striding in a fast clip. "He was watching over you."

"Come. We have little time for chatter."

Aurum nodded, the pull of her palm a clear guide.

"Take me to your danger."

-

"So, how're you enjoying our little band of merry misfits?" Varric smiled, slinging his crossbow, a Bianca, he had informed her, over his shoulder.

Several rifts had been closed, the tangling politics of the human world set before her to un-knot. She was tired, but that was far from a new condition.

"You're good people." She smiled warmly at him. "Though I'd rather Cassandra be in charge."

Varric laughed.

"Nah, she's too deep in the fight. Too many scars and prickly feelings. We need fresh eyes to keep us moving forward."

She rubbed her scar with a thumb. The angry burned skin hidden inside her wrist a touchstone of grief.

"None of us are unscathed in this."

"That's the damned truth." Varric sighed, looking out over Haven. Their small fortress, the remains of the wake of the Conclave. "But you've been impartial so far. We need that."

"Get some rest, kid. Don't think I haven't noticed you wandering the grounds at night. You need more sleep than three hours. We'll find the Warden in the morning."

She smiled sadly at him. How little they knew of her.

"Thank you. Dareth shiral."

She paused, then laughed. Varric's eyes filled with mirth.

"Sorry, I mean goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sunshine."

The night air was crisp in winter cold, breathing it in deep. Snow crunching under her feet on her meandering trail down to the stables.

She had been sleeping there, the small amount she allowed to herself, nearly every night. Being inside the chantry turned her stomach, she tried to spend only needed time there.

"Kin, a word?"

Solas' poised frame took up next to her.

"You have no idea how soothing it is to see a familiar face." She sighed, turning to him. "Speak to me."

He smiled gently, a soft knowing in his eyes.

"I've been wondering about your dreams, if you'll indulge me. There is an... unknown to you. And those with this quality tend to wander in dreaming."

She paused. Weighing how much truth to unravel. Settling on a half omission.

"I don't dream. Not like that. It is a darkness that swirls around me. I walk."

He was quiet for a moment.

"Where are you trying to reach?"

She shook her head.

"I'm lost. Fading. I have to find someone."

There was a strange weighted silence fallen over him. Staring at her with an intensity that held her still.

"You are not lost. You have not been abandoned."

An ichor tear began to well in her eye, blinking it down. Rising her hand to her eyes to rub it away before the mercury silver could escape her.

"I hope you're right. I'd like to reach somewhere eventually."

He stepped forward, peering at her.

"Your god is Elgar'non, is it not?"

Ah, yes. The All Father. Father of sun and fury. His symbol tattooed across her face in deep gold. A diversion and protective measure, subterfuge for those that would seek her power of foresight.

"I was sworn to him, yes."

He kept his stare, nearly causing her to squirm. Then, a slow smile graced his angular features.

"Of course. Only a daughter of sun could shine so bright in beauty."

Aurum laughed, lacing her hands behind her back.

"I do stand out like a sore thumb, don't I?"

"Oh, absolutely. You are a swan amongst finches."

She tilted her head at him, an incredulous smile splitting her face.

"Oh, that was a good one. I haven't heard that one before."

Stepping back, she made down towards her trail again.

"Elves are always sweet talkers." She laughed brightly. "Goodnight, Solas."

"Sleep well, Lavellan."

It soothed her heart to hear a name that once belonged to her. All of the titles they laden on her bristling up her back.

Inquisitor. Herald. Your Worship. Things they called her. None her name. Nothing could bring that back.

The moon hung heavy and full in the sky, her light guiding the quiet hush of her feet. Taking a moment to find Andruil, the goddess of the hunt's, constellation out of habit.

A familiar ache sat in her chest. Settling down into a hay bale. The horses nickering softly at her in familiarity.

So much had been lost. Fire takes all.

"No, don't do this tonight." She whispered to herself. Fingers pushing into her temples, quieting the quiver of her lip.

The stampede of hooves, the cry of her kin, smoke deep and curling up into the ceiling. Rubble hiding her small body. A hand pulling from hers.

"I love you. Breathe deep."

A choked sob escaped her throat. Beating her fist into her thigh. Determined to not break. She couldn't claim this grief. It was poisoned by her. Resolving into slow even breaths.

Laying her head down, she stared up at the moon through the high window. Silver tears dripping down her temple. Allowing her god the smallest sliver of connection she could barter. Allowing her weary eyes to finally, finally close.

-

"Up ahead, there. I see him." Solas peered down the ridgeline. At the crest of the curve of the lake, a small group of men stood at a cabin. One pacing and dark, towering over the others. The men in his stead uncertainly gripping shields.

He was a captain of the Grey Wardens, a force of men sworn to kill darkspawn. The history of what darkspawn were, and who was to blame for their creation, varied from race to race. But they were close enough to demons, and they certainly needed help with those.

"Perhaps it's best if you go first." Cassandra sighed. "I've heard this one is less... socialized."

Aurum nodded. Though she was Dalish, her beauty and poise had been a helpful tool in disarming their encounters.

Heading down the lake trail, her companions following behind, the man took up more detail in her approach.

Dark thick hair that revealed as he removed his helmet, long and slicked back with sweat. A full forked beard set against sharp cheekbones, eyes burning under a heavy brow. Steel blue and piercing through the men he spoke to.

It had been a long time since she had seen a man so striking, slowing her approach. His focus solely on the men in his stead. Voice deep and thundering, cut through with grit. Pacing like a caged wolf.

"Remember how to carry your shields. You're not hiding, you're holding. Otherwise it's useless."

"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?"

He turned to her, the melody of her voice picking up on the air.

He froze, eyes going wide. Then huffed out a breath, striding forward. Glaring down at her, his frame taking up her vision.

"You're not... how do you know my name? Who sent-"

The growl of his voice cut off abruptly. His lip curled back in a snarl, head snapping to her right. Lifting his shield over her head, an arrow snapped into the wood. It's trajectory straight into her temple.

Her eyes widened, darting to the curve of his arm, the recoil barely shifting it. Safe inside of the dark of his frame.

"I... I didn't see it." She gasped, shock pulling her poised mask away. Darting her eyes back to his.

He peered at her. His eyes steady for a moment, then pulled away. A small shiver in his breath that he huffed away. Men on the treeline descending.

"That's it. Help or get out. We're dealing with these idiots first!" He pulled away from her, a sword slung easily in his fist.

She smiled. She always loved the bristled ones.

"Gladly." Unslinging her bow from her back, she fired an arrow right between a man's eyes. Dropping him instantly.

Blackwall's jaw clenched, then dove forward.

The way he fought rose a lust in her. Slamming into bodies like a bear, the power of his swings knocking men into the dirt. Charging and unleashing fury into his foes.

She flanked behind him, using his body as a wide shield. Firing down over his shoulder, under his arm. Moving as lightning around his thunder.

Fighting with him felt natural. And over too quickly.

As the last fell, he drove his sword down into the dirt. Crouching down to stare at the slack face of the dead.

"Someone you know?" She offered softly, coming up to his side.

He was quiet for a moment longer.

"No. But someone should remember them."

He shook his head, voice a growl again.

"Sorry bastards."

Rising back to feet to encourage the farmers turned soldiers he had taken under his wing. Shaken, but alive. His wide back still tense.

They wandered away, and he turned back on her.

"Why do you know my name? Who are you?"

"I'm with the inquisition. I'm here to see about the disappearance of your kin. The Wardens."

"Kin?"

"She's Dalish, don't mind her." Varric smiled, leaning against the cabin.

"Apologies, your men."

Blackwall bristled at her companions' presence, seeming to see them now.

"I prefer to travel alone." He rumbled, eyes cutting back to her.

"So do I, but there's strength in numbers." She sighed. She was fond of her party but Gods, did she miss the solitude of the forest.

"I'm guessing you don't know their whereabouts then?" She offered, pulling his sword from the ground and holding it out with the hilt towards him.

He stared at the blade grazing her chest. Quickly taking it from her.

"No. I haven't seen another in years. We dont keep track of one another." He seated it back with a grumble.

"Right." She smiled, stretching out her shoulder with a pull on her lifted elbow. A small sigh of strain released. "You've been a great help in battle. I liked fighting with you."

He leveled his gaze on her again.

"And I you."

She smiled at him and saw his eyes dart from her.

"Well, that answers all my questions. I'll be out of your way, lone Warden."

She stepped forward, Cassandra's tired stare beckoning her along.

"It was lovely meeting you, I hope to see you again." She smiled as she passed. Varric rising from his lean, Solas picking up at her side.

"Inquisition... agent. Hold a moment."

She turned as he drew forward, a furrow in his brow. Shoulders softened.

"I've heard good word of your cause. I have not traveled with another in ages... but if you're truly seeking to solve this... Maker, this hell..."

She waited, seeing his resolve form, waver, then build again.

"If you're trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me."

"And maybe I do." She smiled, his posture pulling straight. "I would be honored to have you."

"Then you'll have me." He breathed, then filled his words again. "I didn't catch your name...?"

Solas took up behind her, a solid presence. Staring over her shoulder.

"I have no name. Lavellan is fine."

Blackwall met Solas' eyes, a cold reproach. Then softened on hers again.

"You have no...? Right."

He took up on her right, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Where to, Vella?"

~

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