#growing up in the orphanage means he definitely very rarely got sweets

[mistress-riddle]

honestly, i think tom would've loved oreos and toblerone

[anxiouslyfred]

Blackberry Delivery Service

Summary: Where soulmates get plants that reflect what is done to each of them at unpredictable time of their lives, schools teach it’s about maturity. Virgil has known this is wrong since he got his plant at the young age of 8.

Remus never learns this before the night everything goes wrong gets followed by a day out of Roman’s daydreams.

/\/\

Nobody had figured out yet how the delivery service worked. There were classes in schools covering the history of soulmates and the plants connected to them which could go over how when people roamed the lands or lived in small villages and tribes they'd be drawn to the plants when they were ready for it. That still happened in a lot of the indigenous cultures, where spending time among nature was a larger part of their way of life.

For the people in cities though a delivery service had opened with the advent of a postal service. When a person became ready to care for their plant it would be delivered at a time they were alone at home and then the van would disappear for somewhere else. No base was known of for the Soulmate plants delivery, nor any greenhouses and plenty of legends surrounded the vans but nothing could get confirmed.

Virgil had read everything he could about them regardless. Originally it was dreaming that he'd get his plant one day and learn how he can find his soulmate with it. Receiving it when he was just 8 years old had grown the interest into the reasons people claimed they got their plants.

What schools taught was that if you are mature enough to care for someone, or something, living other than yourself and put their needs on the same level as your own then the plant would be delivered. The forums and multitudes of orphanages and care homes gave out different lessons, leaflets filled with personal stories about people getting their plant so they had something to look forward to, a reassurance there was somebody out their for them.

That was why Virgil received his plant. His parents had busy jobs and rarely spared a thought for their son, so long as he was fed, clean and his clothes were the good quality expected of reasonably wealthy parents. He'd gotten lonely and used to being ignored, or a second thought to everyone but the blackberry bust he received was a promise that wouldn't continue forever.

And that was how he continued on, looking after the plant and trying its best to help it grow. The thorns were longer than a normal blackberry bush and grew in a higher number but the berries were a wonderful balanced of sweet and tangy. It was soon Virgil's favourite treat, as long as the berries came from his soulmate plant. If only he could tell his soulmate was looking after theirs as well, but nothing changed except what Virgil did to the plant.

/Years Later for Remus\

It had taken far too long for Remus to save up the money for his own flat. Still, 10 times fired is 20 people he knows can't accept who he is, and he could finally move out from Roman's apartment.

He'd thought there could be a celebration, him and his brother having a game night or something to mark the achievement. Sure Remus would have liked to do more than that, go to a bar, or maybe bowling and see how many innuendos and dirty jokes he could make around it, but with Roman back in rehearsals a night in, getting him settled into the flat would have been nice.

Instead they argued, Remus hurt over the dismissal Roman gave. “I can't just fritter away hours with you. This could be a big break for me if it gets the presses attention so I have to be responsible for my time.”

“It's one night, Ro. One night to get that stick out of your arse, loosen up and just be silly again. Fuck, we could find an adventure on a hike and play dragons and princes again like we used to. Toast the fact I'm making it on my own now.” Remus had pleaded, just needing something to mark the change.

“Yeah and then in a month, possibly two, you'll be asking for an adventure or night out to celebrate you moving straight back in.” Roman scoffed, dismissing the idea and Remus's long standing dream of independence in one sentence.

Remus had slammed the door to his flat open then. He'd made the offer when they finished moving all his stuff over to the apartment and there was something darkly satisfying that he could now actually kick Roman out now. “Fuck you, Get the hell out of here! You've watched how fucking hard I've worked to get this and now you think I'm going to throw it all away for what?” He made no attempt to keep his voice down, too hurt and angry to care.

“Yeah, cause you're so mature. You haven't even received a plant to look after yet.” Roman had started to protest but as soon as Remus's missing plant was mentioned he was getting manhandled out of the door.

“I'm blocking you everywhere. I fucking trusted you!” Remus screamed, throwing cushions from the sofa at the door as soon as he'd slammed it shut, locking it behind Roman.

Remus had tried. He'd done everything he could think of to be mature enough to get that soulmate plant, but it still hadn't been delivered. Every day he hoped that perhaps finally it would come; that whatever spirits created and delivered the plants would finally realise he was ready for the soulmate plant.

He'd even kept a garden on the balcony at Roman's house. That was Remus's space and he'd kept it alive, thriving even. Every plant he'd had there had now found a place on window sills around the apartment, as specified to their requirements as Remus could manage.

For Roman to have thrown his missing soulmate plant back at him was too far, and his brother should have known that. It had turned the first night in his apartment which Remus had been so excited to finally afford from being a celebration to one of near destruction.

Remus had agreed with fix and redecorate the apartment for a reduced rent so he decided to move the screaming in his brain to chipping the cracked tiling away from the walls of the bathroom. The landlord had offered it when learning he was a joiner after his most recent building course. With every strike he wished it was a stem he could yank away from Roman's lavender bush, make him realise just how it felt to be missing something everyone insisted was important.

Mud, plants and carpentry could only get Remus so far until he was collapsing onto his new bed, and the tears came.

A new home, but an even lonelier life than before now he couldn't face the last person to try and stick with him again.

/A New Day Comes\

Remus thought the knock on his door must be Roman, trying to apologise or just explain himself. There were always more explanations from Roman than spoken apologies. The apology was shown in his behaviour and the time he cut himself off.

He definitely didn't expect the knock to be a blackberry bush and a van driving out of sight.

An apartment with no balcony or attached garden was probably the worst possible place Remus could try to grow blackberries, but he didn't have much choice, not over what his soulmate plant was, or where it could grow. There was at least a large window in his bedroom that he could find space for it in.

Remus gave it a small smile as he carried it through, leaving it at the foot of his bed for a moment. “Well I guess you were finally ready to come to me then. You just wait here while I shift some of your new friends around to give you a nice spot to rest in.” He says, stroking the leaves lightly before turning away.

“This isn't the ideal space for you, I know, but it's what I have and what's mine is yours, Buddy. Well for you and all my other plant friends of course. I don't care if your connected to my soulmate, these guys get all my love just as much as you do.” Remus was rambling, still mostly talking to the blackberry bush but nuzzling into the other plants he had as they were moved, some closer together and a couple taken to one of the other windowsills.

“I'm no more mature than I was yesterday so it seems like the teachers were just saying more bullshit to us all. Wonder why you're actually here though. Unless it's because I'm completely alone in the world now, and this is all just a complete scam. What makes me being completely alone the trigger when Roman got his years ago after a night moping that he's never be someone's hero?” They'd still been living with their parents when that happened, but now Remus was focused on being lied to by schools.

He shook his head, moving the bush to the new spot. “Maybe I should have tried mixing those chemicals in science labs given everything else they've lied over. I bet it wouldn't have caused anything fun to happen anyway. Now Buddy, you need a frame or some support to hook onto and then I want to start checking online if there are any people around caring for blackberry bushes. If my soulmate already has you then I'm gonna be telling them off for not caring for you properly. Lack of gardening knowledge does not mean you're unable to research a singular plant.”

Remus fell to humming as he started rooting through the boxes that hadn't yet been unpacked for his gardening supplies. He'd need to trim the bush a bit and get it tied onto a frame. There was plenty of time before he had work to get that done.

/Over to Virgil\

After growing up with his blackberry bush, Virgil never expected anything to change with it. He wasn't sure if that was because his soulmate was content to let him look after it or if they just hadn't received their plant yet.

This morning was proving they probably hadn't received it until now and were very knowledgable about how to look after their plants. Virgil had watched as the canes were cut, thorns trimmed away in the busier areas of the bush and then as a frame appeared in the pot, stalks being tied to it from the bottom upwards.

It had been a relaxing if confusing scene to watch but Virgil hadn't wanted to look away. There was evidence he had a soulmate and apparently one who's a very avid gardener.

Part of him wanted to cheer, to dance around his home screaming for joy. He had a soulmate out there, and now their plants were more identifiable than the wild growth that was all Virgil understood enough to achieve. There was a chance he could one day find someone who wouldn't just be talking to him for his family name, or in the hopes of getting a higher role in his mother's business.

It just made Virgil want to go out and start actually trying to find whomever they were, but what if they were annoyed that he hadn't taken better care of their plant? What if they had their life all put together and only cared about the plant because soulmates were meant to be important to them and he'd just disappoint them?

There were hundreds of what if questions that Virgil was now coming up with, stilling his hands as he went to search the 'match my plant' websites there were.

Instead he just double checked his Blackberry bush was watered enough and drew a V in the soil, washing his hands before finally heading into the restaurant his parents wanted checking on today. They'd decided Virgil should have a role as site inspector for the restaurants while they were refurbished or put together for a new site opening at some point and Virgil didn't mind the role. It gave him the chance to meet normal people in the builders, electricians and other skilled jobs as well as avoid special treatment from the restaurants staff since most of the time they'd never meet him officially.

Today the site was having fitted counters installed as well as the tables secured for the private booths. Virgil would really just be checking everything looked right and hoping to avoid chatting to the joiner for too long.

“Hey there, Are you the boss man for the site?” There was a man in fluorescent overalls trying to peer through the windows of the restaurant, knocking on them as Virgil walked up to it.

Most of the builders had been given the morning off so they didn't get in the way but the actions of the man had Virgil checking the time and realising he'd set off late after watching his plant get looked after. “Yep, that's me. Sorry I ran a little late. It seems like my soulmate has gotten their plant and was doing a lot of gardening for it this morning. I got distracted watching it.” The explanation was far more than the joiner needed to know, but it felt deserved given Virgil was late.

“Cool thing, Patches. I got mine this morning too. Must be a busy day for the delivery guys. You planning on letting us in or should I break a window and replace it on my way out?” The man had walked back to the van that was parked on the pavement in front of the restaurant as he spoke, but leaned back to wink at Virgil when he suggested the vandalism.

Virgil shook his head, snorting a little at the idea. It didn't seem serious so he wasn't going to treat it as such. “First, I'm gonna need to see some ID, preferably your traders license. Can't just trust people who ask if I run the building without introducing themselves at all.” He did pull the keys out of his pocket though, waiting beside the door as the other bounced back over.

“Well, I'm Remus, here's my card, call me whenever for whatever cause a body like yours I ain't gonna refuse.” Remus definitely checked Virgil out as he spoke but still handed over his license, a business card behind it that Virgil pocketed.

Unlocking the door, he shook his head again. “I'm Virgil and will need to call the company doing the rest of this place to complain about the state they've left it in. Sorry it seems to be chaos. I did order them to leave it clear yesterday but apparently my instructions were ignored.”

Remus didn't seem to care, already carrying various boards and his toolkit, just making large steps over any equipment or items left in his way. “I got a blackberry bush this morning. You said you thought your soulmate had got theirs today too so what's yours?”

“Oh, yeah, same. It's blackberries too. I've been scared that I'll hurt it if I do anything though so have mostly left it to grow its own way once I got a mini greenhouse to look after it in.” Virgil agreed, pulling his phone out, and falling into mumbles over how to make the call.

It was only moments later when Virgil looked up to actually double check the number, ever doubting his phone had saved it correctly, that he realised Remus had frozen and started watching him, large siding board still balanced on his shoulder. “Did I say something wrong? Is there something I need to raise as a big issue to like health and safety that I've missed?” He asked.

Remus bounced between his feet for a moment, almost falling before he remembered the siding and leant it against the wall. “No Dude, but like, does your plant look something like this now?” He pulled his phone out while speaking, flicking through a few screens before showing a picture of Virgil's blackberry bush, except it was surrounded by dozens of other plants on a windowsill that was in dire need of fresh paint and probably new frames all together.

“That's – That is my plant! Even down to the frame that appeared!” Virgil exclaimed, almost snatching the phone away to look closer at the picture. “I watched everything getting trimmed and tied onto the frame this morning.” He muttered, all thoughts of scolding the builders leaving his mind in the moment.

“So you're my soulmate then?” Remus asked after a minute of waiting for that connection to be made.

Virgil didn't think his eyes could get any wider or that he could be any more shocked than he already was, but that sentence would have managed it. “Well, must be, this is my plant so yeah.” He nodded frantically through the explanation.

He was a bit confused when Remus's expression darkened to a scowl. “This entire soulmate thing is fucked up. Nothing against you but is this stupid damnable universe telling me I had to go through losing or falling out with everyone I know only to get my plant and meet my soulmate on the same fucking day? It's ridiculous and stupid. If it wanted to pull this fairytale bullshit with anyone it should have been with Roman. This feels like he's fucking writing the story of my day just to spite me after throwing everything I've been trying to do back in my face yesterday.” The rant had Virgil backing away a little, sitting down on one of the benches as Remus carried on.

“I did every fucking thing I could to be whatever stupid ideal of mature this world wants before letting people have their plants for years! I scraped through course after course, job after job just trying to find one which I could make a career out of, earn enough to get even a ratty apartment I need to fix up for the landlord and then have the universe fucking telling me to speed run the entire process. Not just, hey Remus, you can finally have the soulmate plant to look after since you've been looking after your hundred plant babies so well, but hey Remus, you brother is a fucking bastard so you're all alone but here's a plant and hey, here's your entire fucking soulmate too.” Remus was screaming at the walls, the ceiling, anywhere that wasn't Virgil, looking like he was two steps from destroying the next thing he looked at closer to ground level.

Virgil usually felt panicked by watching displays of anger like this in real people. He'd usually do everything he can to get out of that situation but instead he just listened and waited, learning more from the rant than he'd expected to.

The yelling must have been audible from outside or something because there was soon a knock on the window of the restaurant, although Remus didn't seem to hear it. He did notice when Virgil stood though, falling quiet to watch him as though expecting him to say something.

With a gesture to the door Virgil went to open it, only to blink as someone almost identical to Remus stood on the opposite side, holding what he guessed might have been a peppermint plant. “Hi, um, sorry if I can't do this, but Remus hasn't been answering my calls and had mentioned doing some work here today. Is he still around?” The man asked, shifting to try and see further into the store.

“Who are you, first? And what's with the plant?” Virgil held a hand up to keep them outside, raising an eyebrow at their discomfort.

“His brother, Roman. I said something I really shouldn't have and have come to beg for forgiveness. The plant is part of my apology.” With that explanation, especially following the rant he'd just heard Virgil held one finger up before shutting the door in his face.

Remus seemed to have started getting his work tools out now his rant had been cut off when Virgil sat down again. “So that was some rant you had there and given I've had my blackberry bush since I was 8, I might be able to explain what actually seems to be the time the plants come to us. Before that though, are you going to start screaming again if I say there's someone at the door holding a plant and asking if you're here so they can beg for forgiveness?” He explained, watching as Remus turned to him and then deflated.

“He literally said I wouldn't last more than a couple months in my new apartment before having to live with him again, threw the fact I hadn't got my plant yet in my face last night and is now trying to apologise with a fucking plant?” Remus muttered, but sighed as he stood up.

Roman was let in silently and he seemed to watch Remus as if expecting something to be said first. Remus was watching his brother just as carefully, before glancing over to Virgil.

“Seriously. Are we sure the universe hasn't stolen one of Roman's stories and decided to dump me into it?” He asked, taking the peppermint from Roman and placing it in front of the window.

“I have literally known Roman for all of 2 seconds so have no clue what those stories might be like to say.” Virgil pointed out, knowing his expression was probably reflecting how crazy he found the question to be.

Remus rolled his eye, “I see no prostrating yourself on the floor to beg for forgiveness. This apology so far sucks worse than Mrs PeePee's apple sorbet.” He glanced over to Roman who was looking between them confused.

“Yes, of course dear Brother, except there isn't exactly space on the floor for that to be possible. I spoke entirely out of turn yesterday and should have never even considered speaking to you the way I have done. You have my deepest apologies and I swear that I will do everything I can to help make it up to you. In fact I would be honoured if tonight you'd accompany to the indoor mini golf course that's opening on the edge of town. It's rainforest themed and I hear rumours they've included a swamp area.” Roman bowed as he was speaking, actually glancing around to see if it was safe for him to kneel.

Virgil couldn't help snickering at it though, and Remus was soon to join in the laughter. “Let's all go actually. I need to know if this idiot is entertaining beyond cheap jokes and loud rants to tell the universe off.” Virgil agreed, before glancing at the sideboard and the time. There was still a couple of hours before the rest of the builders should arrive, hopefully enough time for Remus to do some of the work he was actually here for.

“Sure, you're forgiven and I think the universe has done pretty much everything I would have asked you to do or try to do already.” Remus agreed, jumping over a few things back to where he would be fitting the counters. “By the way, this is my soulmate and I got a blackberry bush this morning. Only figured that it was the same as his like 10 minutes before you got here.”

“Was that what the screaming was about? I thought someone was injured?” Roman asked, moving to the bench when Virgil shrugged and patted it.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, Remus has a few things to say to whatever does soulmates about how today has gone for him. Not sure the universe listens to people screaming in restaurants-to-be though.”

Eventually Virgil would get Roman to share one of the stories Remus had kept referencing and had to agree: The day they met really did seem to come out of Roman's imagination.

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | L Lawliet

L is here too, wow. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot, again. 

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

   Here is the thing: сhildren receiving inadequate affection may manifest stunted physical growth despite receiving adequate nutrition, so you can imagine what it can do to the emotional growth and perception of other people. Watari tried to cultivate kindness, mercy, love equally in his wards but it is impossible considering how many orphans reside in Wammy’s house. Little L was more interested in the world’s famous inventions, books, riddles than in other children, and now you have to face the consequences.

  He has to start from scratch. In the beginning L sticks to mimicking affection given to him. You bought him a box of chocolate, he will buy you a box of eclairs. You ruffled his hair, he will play with yours, twisting it on finger. You hugged him and he will hug you whenever feels convenient. At some point he will find new ways of showing his love.

  Understanding that he can do other things too gave him insight. He can try this, and that, and ask you if you liked it or not, wow. L’s curiosity will take over: different types of kisses, various cuddle positions, playful fights, nights out, nights in – he wants to do it all.

  Well, not everything is so rosy. During work, he forgets what he has learned and goes back to his old self. Sadly, this won’t change no matter what.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

 Where to begin? How do you even get this man to be your friend? You don’t. He chooses you and then suddenly, - boom! – you’re best friends forever, it is established fact. But before it happens, he will study you like an ant under a magnifying glass.

There is not a lot of places where he can find a person with an IQ close to his. High chance L will look for a friend among the best FBI agents or fellow detectives.

 Friends who judge people together stay together. He is a person who likes to spill some tea and throw a little shade for entertainment.

  Sarcasm and irony are things that no conversation can go without, so L wants a person who doesn’t get offended right away and can keep up with it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

   The best way to make L shut up is to cuddle him. No way he will refuse a good cuddle session when in private, but will hesitate if someone else is around.

 He’s 100% touch-starved. All cuddle positions are fine, but if you want to knock him out completely go for face to face cuddle while on his lap. Now he can’t sit in frog-like position (so his IQ has already dropped) and there’s person playing with his hair? Congratulation, L has fallen.

 D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

D stands for domestic and disaster when it comes to both cooking and cleaning. Even though he would love to settle down and retire from detective work, he has no skills when it comes to the most basic things. His whole life someone else took care for those little unimportant tasks so he could push human mind to its limit, and now it’s too late for relearning. When he tries to cook it never ends up well, you just have to accept this man’s futility and move on.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There was nothing surprising that he had to break up with you. No other possible ending for such relationship, absurd and strange, and with someone like him. L will choose cruel ghosting because explanation is for losers and emotionally mature people. One day he vanishes from your radar: no more messages, no more calls, nobody knows him because L never met your friends. Conscience continues to nibble him for two weeks or so, he has to continuously fight desire to contact you and he would miserably fail if there was no Kira to occupy all of his free time.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Two to three years are enough for him to pop a question. Those months were spent in careful study and relationship viability assessment. Let’s be real, he will put person he likes in tricky situations just to evaluate their reaction. Manipulative? Yes. Cruel? Yes. Weird? Yes. He won’t allow anything extreme though. After all, he learned  a lot about human interactions and developed undoubtedly strong feelings for them. In addition, he will propose during trip to Kyoto, when visiting Kiyomizu-dera  with its famous Love Shrine. Right after “Why would I walk between these   stones if I already found you?”.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

In the beginning his level of gentleness is somewhere between a log and jar of jam. Day by day, week by week L realizes that all of his actions come down to the will to care, love, protect, - and guess what? – these three have to be gentle in order to fit the definition of healthy relationship. He allows himself to grow emotionally. If we talk about physical sphere, he is very cautious from the beginning and tries to fight his natural stiffness so another person can feel his love.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

It’s another of his weakness. L wasn’t properly hugged as a child and it took a toll on him: when you hug him for first time, he is stiff and awkward. Second time is better, but his hands on your back still feel like a mannequin’s grip.

L grows fond of warmth and comfort pretty fast and he starts to initiate hugs himself. His favorite part of the day is when he tiptoes to you from behind, grabs you in bear hug, and you both fall on the sofa/bed/anything soft enough to leave you without bruises.  

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He suddenly blurted it out after only 3 months of dating. It sounded so innocent, affectionate, sincere, that he shut up for a minute to rethink what just happened. He totally meant what he said, of course, but at the same time, he was not sure it was the right moment, the right tone, even the right choice of words. L will try to explain what he wanted to say in trembling voice but will not say anything coherent because L.exe stopped working.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

 Because of how hard it is to let new people in, L becomes very attached to those who have overcome all obstacles and decided to stay in his life. Thus fear of abandonment arises, and so does jealousy.

He is not paranoid about where you are and who you spend your time, but he doesn’t mind  knowing it. You don’t want to use a tracker on your phone? Too bad, maybe, he’s already installed it. For your safety only.

 Easily jealous and will need a lot of reassurance despite immediately becoming distant and silent. It is another way of manipulation because what if you do leave him all alone?

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Again, he didn’t have a lot of practice so L’s kisses are sloppy and a little rough. His lips are always chapped because of constant licking and biting during intense thought process, and they feel a little dry on your skin. Because of this (and awkwardness, of course) L will quickly shift kisses into cuddles or hugs. He both prefers to kiss and be kissed on the forehead, since, in his opinion, it is the gentlest expression of love.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

The God is dead, house is on fire, Watari maneuvers between flames, trying to save the day. No, seriously, kids love L, he looks like a character from their favorite cartoon, but since he is not the most energetic person, to say the least, they quickly lose interest in him. The best solution for L is to babysit with someone who is more experienced and can guide him through this complicated process. Otherwise, he will make sure all dangerous objects are out of reach and leave children to themselves (if their age allows, of course).

Afraid to have kids of his own. Living in orphanage, he had no real functional family so a thought of parent's duty scares him.

 M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

·   Morning routine depends on L’s messed up sleeping schedule:

If he went to bed last night, it means sleep deprivation finally got to him. Next 12 hours or so he will spend in blanket cocoon, tossing and slightly snuffling. No human power can wake him up, there’s no point in trying.

However if he stayed up all night, you will find out your kitchen turned into delicious sweet buffet. TV is still turned on with weird movie playing, but no sound is coming out of speakers. A tower of empty teacups is about to collapse. L is sitting in the chair, eating two cupcakes at once, lost in thoughts. He will offer you to join him in feast and raise his head a little, exposing his cheek for a kiss. It’s 5 am. Sun is rising and erasing last stars from the sky. Life is good.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

·Nights out are rare, most of the times you stay inside, eating take-out and watching true crime documentaries. He still cannot decide whether they are dumb or interesting, so he keeps watching and changing his opinion with every new episode. After you go to bed, L will lay down next to you. Sometimes he will fall asleep, cuddling you and nuzzling into your neck. Sometimes he will get up and do God knows what.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Well, he gives you fake name, always lies about his job, and holds back many details about his life… L wants to open up, he really does, but there’s no way he will do it. To every question he has a prepared half-true answer. Everything related to detective work is hidden behind seven seals and will be never presented to you unless you’re from FBI.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

The embodiment of serenity, L never gets angry in classical sense. He may sulk, turn to sarcasm, shower your with stinging comments or, on the contrary, suddenly stop talking, but you’ll never see him red-faced, screaming, swearing right and left. He doesn’t have time to waste energy on such silly thing. It takes a lot to make him mad. After he calms down, L will continue make bitter remarks about thing that pissed him off for weeks.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Not that attentive, really. You would expect him to remember a lot but he is always busy chasing exceptional criminals and his brain erases many details, both minor and major. For example, he can easily forget your Birthday and congratulate you both before and after it.

L never fails to remember anniversaries thanks to phone reminders. However, if he doesn’t check his phone that day, he will forget about them as well.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

No matter how trite it may sound, his favorite moment is their first kiss. L clearly remembers his heart beating deafeningly loud and palms sweating like he’s kid who got in big trouble. There is no picture left in his memory, only feelings and crazy thoughts, terribly matted together. After it happened, L couldn’t even make a witty remark. Later that day he sat in front of overflowing cup of tea and slowly realized how little happiness he had felt before.  

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Since he did everything to protect himself first and then, - just in case, - put a spying app on the phone of his loved, a satisfactory sense of security drowns out all of his possible fears. If anything happens, there’s already a rescue plan waiting to be executed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Let’s say he is trying, he is trying his best every day.

When it comes to presents, L will go for advice to Internet, rarely to Watari, and choose gift as close as possible to your interests. Dates are all on you though, because he feels so strange when he has to plan something for you two. On a subconscious level, he is afraid to ruin everything.

Tries even harder on anniversaries (if he remembers about them) and you either have the best day of your life, when he does whenever you want, or you are all alone wondering what the actual heck. In short, it’s all or nothing situation.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

L is obviously manipulative, you can’t justify him. Some manipulation techniques are so integrated in his thinking and speech that it is impossible to get rid of them. Like if gaslighting was an Olympic sport, he would have all golden, silver, and bronze medals.

It seems like the opposite to the first point, but L also loves to be inappropriate straightforward. You know, moments when you understand what you feel but when another person vocalizes it or comments on it, you absolutely lose your shit? That’s what we talk about.

Quirkiness. I don’t really think this needs explanation. The totality of his strange habits can be a very repulsive sight to an ordinary person.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Watari is more concerned about his looks than he is. L never buys his clothes, his wardrobe is minimalist’s dream and consists of few pieces of monotone clothes, three pairs of shoes, and warm jacket for a fall/winter season. He doesn’t like brushing his hair, bites his nails to the blood, but absolutely adores hot bubble bathes. Looks do not matter when all people see is the letter L in Gothic font.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Depends on time spent in the relationship:

 It’s stupid to expect L to suffer tremendously if you leave in first two months. When you are here he is a little bit happier, when you are not he is not that concerned. There’s still a high chance you’ll see him as he sees himself and leave, so why would he bother? It’s almost a painful expectation for another person to give up. If it ends, nothing will change, end of story.

Later L starts to catch himself worrying that someone finally climbed over the wall of his alienation, and it doesn’t seem like they are planning to leave any time soon. The closer they get, the scarier it is. If you suddenly cut all ties, he will be heartbroken, his face is emotionless like always but he is still hurt deep inside.

If anything happens a lot later in relationship, like year or two, L’s reaction will be calmer. He is grateful for everything they had and shared with him, for every moment of happiness, so he doesn’t feel like they can leave completely now. They will remain in his memory and his heart and because of it he won’t feel “incomplete”. A little bitter, but not hurt or emotionally torn apart.

If there’s any possibility that his loved one was killed by Kira, L will be furious. He will turn over every stone, use everything he can to avenge them and bring a peace to their memory.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

It’s scary how much time L spends in frog-like position with back hunched. Therefore I feel like he will be ecstatic if someone offered him a good back massage to relax those tense muscles.

Overall, he loves random spa days when you two spend time in sauna, hot springs, yoga class etc. This probably would be his present on your first anniversary.

Some children were obsessed with dinosaurs, some were obsessed with superheroes, but L was obsessed with occultism, urban legends, haunted things, unexplained disappearances, and ghosts. His obsession died but its influence didn’t. Why else would he be so scarred and intrigued after hearing about Shinigami?

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Just like Light, he wouldn’t stand blatant stupidity. Even if there’s something to compensate it, he will grow tired of dumb questions or over-all behavior. Oh, and he will give his comments on it whenever possible too.

Nosiness and bad boundaries. If he keeps some information to himself, it is not because of luck of trust. As a world’s best detective, he has many reasons to dodge personal questions to protect his work from interference and himself from possibility of getting killed.

He doesn’t like loud noises but can put up with it if needed with his collections of different ear plugs.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

It’s a common knowledge L’s sleeping schedule is non-existent. It has been like it since the day he took his first case and nothing has changed since. Watari keeps an eye on how many hours L stays awake and suggests him to rest from time to time but it rarely helps. Once L got so exhausted he straight up started hallucinating about having an adopted child and it scarred the hell out of him. After this incident he takes Watari’s advice more seriously.

L tried different versions of polyphase sleep at least once. Non of them worked, he ended up even more tired and frustrated, lost feeling in one of his arms, then broke a cup because of it.

Also L can sleep everywhere, no matter how uncomfortable he is. In the chair, leaning on the wall, on the floor – it all works for him unless there’s a loud noise in the room.

[weirdoldmanhoho]

Headcanon meme: ed, winry, Armstrong & izumi

this is going to be long, so get ready. but thanks for so many, this was fun!

Headcanon A:  realistic

Ed: Ed still loves alchemy after the Promised Day, and he’s still one of the most skilled at alchemical theory in the world, even if he can’t practice it - he writes books on the subject and stays up-to-date with Alchemy journals and scientific publications - but he starts to find other places to put his passion a couple years after the Promised Day. It’s not healthy for him to only dwell on alchemy and what he lost, and he wants to find other ways to do good. Most of all, he still wants to be able to MAKE things.

When he settles back in Resembool, he becomes an apprentice to a carpenter and learns how to build things with his hands. He makes furniture for his and Winry’s future house. He builds his son’s crib. Edward becomes nationally known for his books on alchemic theory, but he becomes locally know for crafting sturdy and well-made furniture. (He never quite loses his terrible sense of style, though. Some of the pieces he makes for himself and Winry still feature skulls and dragon heads. She’s appalled, but used to it.)

Winry: Winry keeps her last name after she marries Edward. The name Rockbell is already famous in the field of automail, and by the time they marry the name Winry Rockbell has become well known - as much as she loves Edward, she doesn’t want to give up the name and legacy she’s proud of or the reputation she’s already acquired. She suggested she take the name Rockbell-Elric at first, but it was Ed who suggested he just change HIS name to Edward Rockbell. (For one, less hassle, he says. And also he kind of wants to distance himself as much as possible from the famous Fullmetal Alchemist after he resigns.)

Armstrong: (wasn’t sure if you meant Alex or Olivier, so I went with Olivier) After the Promised Day, Olivier goes back to Briggs. She would be able to move up the ranks and accept a promotion in Central easily, but she’s more dedicated to her men and protecting the Northern Wall than she wants to move up the ladder - and because she doesn’t trust anyone else to do it correctly. Everyone in Central is a little relieved to see her go.

Izumi: Izumi is an orphan - both her parents died when she was young and she was raised in an orphanage. It’s part of why she was so willing to take in the Elrics after learning about their situation - she understood exactly what they were going through. She’s desperately wanted a family since she was young, and it’s why she takes so much pride and joy in being part of one.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Ed: I don’t even think this is THAT unrealistic, but Ed basically becomes an Amestrian Cryptid. Nobody even really knew who the Fullmetal Alchemist was when Ed WAS working for the military - and it only gets worse after the Promised Day. The soldiers and onlookers from that day talk about what happened, only none of them actually understand what happened so there are all these crazy, exaggerated, conflicting accounts. 

The Fullmetal Alchemist becomes a legend. Some say he was a real person who helped save his country. Others say he’s just a mythical figure used by the military to make themselves look better. People say he has the power of god himself. Others say he was just a kid with a bad temper. People swear he was half metal. Nobody knows who Edward Elric really was, and years later historians and authors try and track him down for interviews, just to find a disgruntled stay-at-home dad who wants them off his lawn.

Winry: Winry is really, really good at math. She can do crazy calculations in her head without even trying. Edward tried to race her once. Al provided the questions and they raced to see who could solve them all correctly fast enough. Winry won.

Armstrong: Olivier actually has a pretty feminine style (I mean look at that beautiful long hair and pink lip gloss - she definitely takes pride in being tough as nails and still looking pretty and feminine.) If she’s not in uniform, which is rare, she’s been known to actually wear frilly blouses and pink clothing. Somehow it’s more terrifying to see her looking pretty and feminine, knowing she could still kill you without blinking. (She absolutely delights in that.)

Izumi: She absolutely loves and dotes on Edward’s kids and is basically a grandmother to them. She becomes totally different around them - sweet and sugary, always bringing them toys and giving them treats and performing alchemy for them when they want to see it - and Ed (and Al) are slightly terrified of the change. Ed’s kids don’t understand why their dad is afraid of Grandma Izumi.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Ed: Ed has a complicated relationship with food. He developed an eating disorder during the first year after Al lost his body. He felt guilty being able to eat when Al couldn’t and tended to skip meals, playing it off like he just wasn’t hungry. Really, it was about punishing himself for putting Al in that state. Automail takes a lot of energy and calories to operate, though, so the Rockbells never let it fly. Alphonse picked up on what he was doing to and became just as adamant about forcing Ed to eat.

Winry: Sometimes, Winry’s glad Ed lost his alchemy. She feels horrible for thinking so because she knows how much he misses it, but she can’t help but associate alchemy with the thing that ruined Ed and Al’s life. Alchemy was what stole their bodies. Alchemy was what made them leave home. In a very irrational way, Ed’s lack of alchemy almost assures her he won’t run off again - but she knows it’s irrational and feels guilty every time she thinks it. 

Armstrong: Olivier cared for Buccaneer romantically - she’s never wanted to marry or start a family (her ambitiouns and dedication to her job too great, and the Briggs army is the only family she really needs) but she had loved him, and she thinks it was the closest she would ever get to having a romantic partner. She wouldn’t have pursued anything if he had lived, but she misses him more than she will ever say when he’s gone. 

Izumi: Izumi dies fairly young - late thirties to early forties. Hohenheim managed to make her more comfortable, but nothing could fix the strain not having some of her organs put on her body. She’s just grateful she got to live as long as she did, and she thinks she had a good life all things considered - she got to see the two boys she loves like sons get their bodies back and do great things, she got to watch them grow up and one of them start a family of his own. She got GRANDKIDS, which she never expected. In the end she had the family she always wanted, and she was happy.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Ed: Despite loving attention, Ed’s actually more of an introvert (compared to Al being an extrovert.) This seems backwards with their temperaments - Ed loud and outgoing, Al reserved - but while Al wants to meet as many people as possible and thrives on being social, I think Ed would honestly be fine holing up with no company and a mountain of books for weeks on end if Winry/Al didn’t drag him out of the house.

He likes people fine, he just gets really exhausted dealing with them and he’s a bit socially awkward in that he doesn’t really know how to deal with people - which just tends to make him look like a prickly asshole. He’s actually a lot like his father in this way, though not nearly as awkward as Hohenheim was.

Winry: Winry visits New Ishval during it’s reconstruction to meet the people that her parents gave their lives for. She even helps in the rebuilding while she’s there and offers automail, free of charge, for those who need it.

Armstrong: I know I said that Olivier had romantic feelings for Buccaneer, but she also definitely had a HUGE crush on Izumi. She respects that the other woman is in a loving relationship and doesn’t act on it, but she also secretly thinks that if it came down to it, she could probably beat Sig in a fight for Izumi’s affections.

Izumi: Izumi forges an awkward…not friendship, really, but sense of camaraderie with Roy post Promised Day. Roy sends her some kind of letter thanking her for helping him when he lost his sight, Izumi sends back a scathing four-page reply insulting him and everything he stands for after she figures out he was the one who convinced Ed to join the military, (It’s addressed to “Dog”) but at the very end, there’s one sentence sort of thanking him for making sure those boys didn’t get killed during those four years - in a very roundabout way.

They don’t really get along, but their love for the Elrics and their experiences on the Promised Day bring them together. They end up more like weird in-laws than friends.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot - “Starting Something Ghoul” (Rated PG13)

Kurt and his son meet a special little boy and his father while out trick-or-treating. (2722 words)

A/N: I'm kind of in the Halloween spirit, so I thought I would get a jump start with a re-write that was cute instead of depressing this time around xD Tell me what you think :)

Read on AO3.

Knock-Knock.

“Trick or Treat!” a chorus of high-pitched voices commands. Then silence consumes them as their tiny owners wait, bags and plastic pumpkins and pillowcases in hand, for the opening of the door. A heartbeat passes, then another, with no sound or movement from within. The young beggars shiver in unison when a stiff breeze winds its way through their ankles, causing the metal wind chimes hanging over their heads to toll. Finally, the door slowly creaks open, excitement rising to a fever pitch in anticipation of what comes next.

It’s an old house, but a familiar one. A house that always has carved pumpkins sitting on the porch at Halloween and handmade wreaths hanging from the railing at Christmas. A house that generations of children have run up to and knocked upon for candy or with carols. Those children grow up and bring their own children back to visit its grandmotherly inhabitant, who never seems to age, and who always has a smile on her face and a tray of homemade candied apples wrapped in wax paper waiting for her guests.

The white-haired woman opens her door and steps out. She looks at the crowd of masks and made-up faces surrounding her, and gasps in mock fear.

“My goodness!” she says, putting a hand to her mouth. “Look at all these goblins and ghouls on my porch tonight! I don’t suppose any of you like candied apples, hmm?”

“Me! Me!” the cries ring out. The woman reaches into her house and grabs the apples off their tray, skewered on sturdy wooden sticks decorated to look like ghosts and broomsticks. She hands them out one at a time to child and parent alike, receiving a grateful “Thank you!” with every one. And while she does, the woman peruses each child and comments on their costume – the hand-crafted along with the store bought – with nothing but the highest praise.

“What a spectacular Frankenstein you make, Tony! Your mother went all out this year!”

“Captain America? He was my favorite superhero when I was a little girl! And you definitely fit the role well, Amanda!”

“What an absolutely fetching Pikachu you make, Kevin! Your father brought your costume home all the way from Japan, you say? What a lucky little boy to have such an authentic costume!”

As the crowd thins, two final boys approach, having waited politely at the rear for their turn.

“Why, Finn Hummel,” the lady coos, smiling at the boy in the glittering indigo tuxedo and cape. His hair is slicked back, his face painted white, and what looks like fangs drawn over his lower lip since the retainers on his teeth won’t accommodate a real pair. “What a stunning vampire costume! Did your father make it again this year?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the boy replies smiling wide, his red lips dripping fake blood at the corners.

“He did an outstanding job, just like he does every year. You’re a fortunate young man to have such a talented designer at your disposal as your father.” She hands him an apple and he drops it into his bag.

“Thank you, Mrs. Karofsky.”

“You’re very welcome.” Her eyes bounce to the boy standing beside him. “And you – another scary vampire! But I don’t think I remember seeing you before. What’s your name?”

“Michael,” the boy says, speaking with a pronounced lisp courtesy of the plastic fangs crowding his mouth.

“Here, Michael,” she says, handing him an apple. “Thank you for stopping by so I could see your gorgeous costume. Give your parents my fondest regards.”

“Yesh, ma’am,” the boy slurs, trying his best not to spit. “Thank you, ma’am.”

The boys wave goodbye as the kind woman closes her door. They turn together, stepping down from the porch, eyeing one another’s costumes as if they’re catwalk rivals.

“Stho, your father makesth your costumes?” Michael asks, looking Finn’s glittery outfit up and down.

“Yup.” Finn holds his head high and gives the boy a spin so that his cape twirls in the air – his favorite thing about the weighty fabric. “And what about your costume? It’s pretty cool. Did your parents buy it? Or did someone make it for you?”

“It’sth vintage,” Michael says proudly, his tongue tripping over his teeth. He holds the ends of his cape out, fanning the wings they make. “It wasth my father’s from a long, long, long time ago, when he wasth a little boy.”

“That’s right, Michael,” a raven-haired man says, receiving his son at the wooden gate. “It belonged to your ancient, elderly father, back before the invention of the wheel.”

The man standing beside him chuckles, reaching a hand out to Finn as the boy walks through the gate. “Wow. That is vintage.”

“Halloween only comes once a year, so why not pull out all the stops?”

“It really is an amazing costume, Mr. …”

“Anderson,” Michael’s father supplies, holding out his hand in greeting. “Blaine Anderson.”

“Kurt,” Finn’s father answers, taking Blaine’s hand and shaking it. “Kurt Hummel. This is my son, Finn.”

Blaine nods at the boy in the sparkly cape, who is less concerned with the subject of adults’ names than he is with comparing his haul to the boy’s beside him.

“I think we’ve lost them,” Kurt remarks as the boys dive head first into their bags.

“They’ve got about ninety pounds of chocolate between them,” Blaine says. “It was bound to happen.”

Kurt watches as the boys divvy up their candy, but he can’t help narrowing his eyes curiously at the handsome man tousling his son’s hair. “If you don’t mind my asking, does Michael attend Matthew Shepard Elementary School? Because Finn goes there, but I don’t think I’ve seen you or your son before.”

“Is that so strange?” Blaine asks, his grin becoming tight, but not terribly so.

“No. It’s just – we’re a small community. Everyone here knows everyone else, that sort of thing. I think I would have remembered bumping into you at the last PTA meeting, Mr. Anderson.”

Blaine’s lips curl into a smooth grin at the way Kurt calls him Mr. Anderson. “Is that so?”

“Yup.”

“Ah.” Blaine bobs his head, looking suddenly sheepish. “Well, to be perfectly honest, we’re not from around here.” He gestures to the neighborhood as a whole, which gives Kurt the opportunity to catch a glimpse of his left hand.

No wedding ring.

“Gotcha.” Kurt winks, wondering why he’s acting so flirty when he’d resolved to grow old alone not three months ago, right after his husband left him and their son for another man. “It’s no secret that we’re one of the few neighborhoods in Lima that gives out full-sized candy bars and real popcorn balls, not that stale, store-bought crud, so we get a lot of outsiders here.” Blaine’s lips quirk, almost in shame it seems, and Kurt rushes to elaborate. “N---not that we mind, of course. It’s nice to see some new blood around here.”

Blaine smirks, then sputters a laugh, and Kurt turns wide eyes on him.

“Wh---what?” he asks self-consciously, realizing that his previous attempt at flirting may be crashing and burning the more he speaks.

“Nothing, nothing,” Blaine says. “It’s … you’re kind of cute when you get flustered.”

“Oh,” Kurt squeaks, his cheeks rapidly becoming the shade of one of Mrs. Karofsky’s candied apples. “I am? I mean … am I? Oh …”

“Actually,” Blaine interjects when Kurt’s unfinished sentence stumbles to an undignified halt, “we’re not here because of the candy. We can’t eat it.”

Finn, totally engrossed in his conversation with Michael, catches that last part. His head snaps up, jaw dropping to the ground with utter and morose disbelief written all over his face.

“Don’t eat it?” he moans, disappointed on his new friend’s behalf. “Why not?”

“I’m on a special diet,” Michael says, staring forlornly at his pregnant bag of sweets.

“A special diet?” Kurt frowns, looking from Michael back to his father.

“I adopted Michael from an orphanage overseas,” Blaine explains, glancing down the street at a new wave of trick-or-treaters headed their way, checking the distance between them and other possible prying ears. “He has a rare, blood-borne illness that their hospitals were not equipped to handle. My family, however, has spent generations studying this disease. Since I have no spouse or other children of my own, I was more than happy to invite Michael into my home and give him the care he needs.”

“But … is he okay now?” Kurt asks, gazing at the boy’s pale face and round, dark eyes with concern.

“There is no cure,” Blaine says, watching the way Kurt looks at his son, the sincerity in his expression, “but we’re managing it the best we can. We have the support of my family’s foundation, and that gives me an exceptional amount of freedom.” Blaine puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “It helps when you don’t have to worry about things like money. I feel awful for those parents whose children have to battle serious illnesses without the benefit of a disposable income.”

“Aren’t you the lucky one?”

Blaine ducks his head, his sheepish smile from before making a comeback. “It’s old money, sitting in the bank, doing nothing but collecting interest and dust. I like that I can put it to good use.”

Kurt looks up when Blaine does. He meets deep hazel eyes that catch the surrounding street lights and flickering Jack-O-Lantern candles in such an unusual, mesmerizing way, as if with a single blink Blaine could read Kurt’s mind, or hypnotize him into doing his bidding. Kurt shivers. Blaine notices. He grins deviously, and Kurt laughs.

He’s letting the magic of the evening get to him, and Blaine apparently knows it.

From the corner of his eye, Kurt sees Finn yawn. He pulls up the sleeve of his sweater and checks his watch.

“Oh my goodness! Look at the time. When did it get so late?”

“We’re not going home already, are we?” Finn asks, fighting back a second yawn.

“Already? It’s after ten o’clock! Grandpa will want to see you in your costume one last time before he goes to sleep. Besides, you’re just about dead on your feet, kiddo, and I can’t carry you all the way back to the house.”

“We’d better be heading out as well,” Blaine says, wrapping an arm around his son’s shoulders and holding him close.

“Do we have to?” Michael asks, sulking into his father’s embrace.

“I’m afraid so.”

“Oh, alright.” Michael turns to Finn, who yawns again, his eyes beginning to droop. “It was nice meeting you, Finn.”

“It was nice meeting you, too.”

“Do you guys …?” Kurt starts, not eager to see this captivating man disappear so quickly. Kurt would stay out all night talking to Blaine and his adorable little boy if he could. Their lives sound so fascinating. But he has responsibilities, and they take precedence over his social life. “I know you said you aren’t from around here …”

“We’re in Westerville,” Blaine says, anticipating Kurt’s question. “About two hours, give or take, as the bat flies.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, as disappointed as Finn was over Michael’s destined-to-remain-uneaten candy. “That’s … quite a distance to travel for candy you can’t eat.”

“We’re visiting family,” Blaine explains. “Family that we’ve been looking into visiting more often, maybe even move closer to, so … we might see you around?”

Blaine looks at Kurt through long, dark lashes, and Kurt nods, because if that question implies what Kurt hopes it does, the answer is definitely yes.

“Who knows? We might end up being neighbors.”

“Possibly,” Blaine replies, his voice a vague promise. “But either way, perhaps I could take you out for a bite?”

“I’ll take you up on that.” Kurt tries his best to remain calm as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet for his business card when all he really wants to do is leap into the air and scream Yes! He knows times have changed, but he honestly thought he’d have to resort to making a Grindr profile before he would even find a guy willing to go out for drinks with him, not necessarily because he’s a single dad, but because he chose to move back to Lima, of all places - not exactly the hub of the dating scene for eligible gay bachelors. But the first gorgeous man he meets is not only a single dad himself, but a wealthy philanthropist, and drop dead gorgeous? What lottery did Kurt suddenly win, and why didn’t it kick in years ago?

The second Kurt slides his card out Blaine takes it, slipping it from between Kurt’s fingers and tucking it into his inside breast pocket. Kurt watches with a smile, his insides fluttering as if the butterflies that have been held captive there throughout his entire marriage had miraculously learned how to fly again.

“I’ll give you a call,” Blaine says.

“You do that.” Kurt raises his hand and waves goodbye, backing away and pulling Finn along with him. Blaine waves back, turning down the street with Michael in tow, his bag of candy tucked under his arm.

Blaine and Michael weave their way through several tides of children still out and about despite the late hour, racing up to houses and knocking noisily on doors.

“So” - Blaine smiles down at his son – “did you have a good time?”

“Yesh.” Michael reaches up and spits into his hand the false teeth that had been covering his real fangs all night. He shoves them into his treat bag, glad to be rid of them. “That was a blast! Finn and his dad are really nice. Don’t you think they’re really nice?” Michael asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet with every step.

“Yes, they definitely were. Very nice.” Blaine looks over his shoulder, employing his supernatural vision to spot the father and son walking in the opposite direction down the street. Kurt looks behind him as well, biting his lower lip as if he knows he’s being watched. Blaine eyes the dent Kurt’s teeth make in his skin. If his heart were still beating, it would be racing out of control by now. “And luckily ...” Blaine puts a hand over the pocket with the business card safely hidden inside “… we’ll be seeing them again … very soon.” They walk against the flow of revelers, ducking down a dark street with no lamps lit, no decorations on the porches, no trick-or-treaters anywhere to be seen.

“Really?” Michael beams over the prospect of seeing his new friend again as Blaine leads his son deeper into the shadows.

“Absolutely. Here.” Blaine stops beneath a cluster of trees beside an empty house-for-sale. “This looks like a good spot. Are you ready to give it another try?”

Michael stops beaming and sighs. “I guess so,” he says, fidgeting with the handles of his bag.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so upset?” Blaine asks, relieving Michael of his bag and setting it on the ground.

“I’m not as good at it as you are.”

“It takes practice. You’ll get the hang of it eventually,” Blaine promises, and with that, he changes – body shrinking, proportions readjusting, skeleton metamorphosing, all in the blink of an eye. Transforming into a bat is effortless for Blaine. He’s had over a century to practice, after all. Michael scrunches his nose and holds his breath, concentrating the way Blaine taught him. After three failed attempts, he manages the feat, but with a little less finesse than his father. But even though he’s only done it about a dozen times, he makes a handsome young bat, and Blaine knows that once Michael completely accepts his true nature, he’ll become a powerful vampire. Still, two vampires do hardly a coven make. It would be nice, Blaine thinks as he pictures Kurt in his mind where he is right now, walking up the steps to a single-family dwelling at the far end of the neighborhood, to bring a few more vampires into the fold.

Some new blood, as Kurt so aptly put it.

Father and son circle the quiet neighborhood once to stretch their leathery wings, then take to the air, disappearing into the night.

[coffeeselfies]

This is technically the “I think I need coffee,” selfie, but it’s been so long since I’ve posted that I figured anything was better than nothing.

I’m still trying to sleep through the inspiration of a very wonderful Bob Goff.

I. love. him.

But on to darker things, like my not-so-distant past!

Hahaha. So I was looking for an old assignment I e-mailed myself, and instead found a bunch of cryptic-heavy things I had texted one of my rarely used e-mails from my phone.

So of course I’m going to put them together, here, since I will probably just lose them otherwise. And because everyone on the internet loves reading the things I e-mail to, well, myself (WAIT, DO I NOT HAVE FRIENDS, WHAT IS MY LIFE). :p

4/12/12 - A veces no quiero hablar Por Nada con mis amigos. Solamente, "Hoy me dice ,estas loca, pero le esta loco a Juan!" Y mas Nada. Yo quiero hablar about cosas lejas. Ayer y Hoy hable con jean y veronika, solamente small talk primer. Pero despues, yo decido hablar about the things which I was.actually thinking about lately, the deeper layers. My thoughts were kind of awkward. Random. But I'm so glad I did, it lead to such good convos! As if, although my own thoughts or specific revelation (another one about love, of course), but led to true, sincere convos from the heart. Yes! Thank you, Lord. It's funny how I won't open up and ill get frustrated at the lack of depth in a conversation, yet really all I need to do in some cases is just jump right into the true issues. Ahh small talk kills me.

3/4/12 - He asked us a few questions: Who are you using?

How are you using them?

Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Spiritually. Monetarily.

How can you restore that? Who's using you? Do you love money, and use people?

Or do you love people, and use money?

5/9/12 I think my id and superego are in conflict... I prefer that psychological term to saying that right vs wrong or my flesh is in rebellion, I guess. I just want to do all sorts of things that aren't of God, and i don't even know what to do. I think I need to just remember that life is short, and not about what I want. I'm getting too caught up in the worldly details, my visions going, my path, every time I think I'm expanding it, is getting more and more limited. Goodnight, from post Dave n busters with cartel, post umsl, going to school tmrw. 

5/17/12 - "Can you keep a secret?" I should have realized by now that this question should be answered with fear and heaviness rather than curiosity.

5/29/12 - I dreamt that, after they thought I had left, my parents started fighting. Loudly, viciously, hatefully. I came down shouting, 'stop it, stop it!!' But their heads were already covered in blood, as I'd they were going to kill eachother. I never found out if they stopped or not, because dad called to me in real life from the other room. At first I wondered if I had really been shouting, and that's why he had contacted me, but no, it was just about bulk trash being today. Something sounds like its gnawing on something, I can hear and feel the vibrations of it through my pillow. Creepy. 

6/4/12 - I have always been a compassionate person – making little houses for wounded snakes and worms – befriending the kid who’s got no one but himself for company, partnering with the girl who doesn’t really speak English. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that God has been faithful in granting me patience, mercy, and grace as well, and I know that these are not my own,  but I am meant to share them with the very people God has give me a heart for – the downtrodden, broken, and outcast, and ultimately just humanity in general.  This has, more or less, been my (more recent) life pursuit. To follow God’s Will for my life, regardless of where it takes me. So far that has meant giving hope to weary and often lost travelers of Amsterdam, mentoring at risk juveniles and raising awareness for human trafficking in Los Angeles, running English and Summer-School programs for Chinese immigrants in New York City, training and creating jobs for families in Haiti, as well as hosting events and creating opportunities for girls to leave brothels , learning how to run a business in Mexico while also helping out at various orphanages for disabled Children, and even just being there for my own family and friends when they’ve needed it most. It has meant months of Ministry Training schools, years of living in International Community Houses, working in roles that range from administration, to construction, to managerial, and an ever growing reliance on and relationship with Jesus Christ.I’ve been back in Saint Louis for a year now,

7/1/12 - Today started strangely, my head still a little blurry from the wine from the night before. I went to church, very late, where daren had a cupcake waiting for me. Why? Because Tuesday I had admitted I had experienced some downer bdays and he realized that it was my half birthday. Mom came, cried, we hugged, went to the church picnic.. I went home, told dad about her accident, and he just started weeping, so hard that his nose began to.bleed. I stroked his hair and.got a bit teary eyed.and then we got.on our knees and prayed... Later was feeling down and missing Luke, but jean got me out.

11/11/12 - And with your hands in the air, your feet barely touching ground, I take that smile to mean that life is finally turning 'round. And we laugh til we cry and we dance til we cant, and I feel free as can be each time I see that gleam in your eye. Then the secrets come out and its less about being blessed and more about a high. So when you're dancing I'm wondering if that's you, and when you're singing, I know you would be singing.the blues... But that gleam in your eye, well really its more of a glaze all along, I just saw what I wanted as you,strung me along. 

12/20/12 -

Well the queens off her throne Hiding in a stairwell Feet strewn about the stairs Seeming barely aware That her kingdom awaits The king, divorced long ago He's crying Where's his iron fist? Seems he's traded it for sentiment "Pathetic!" He might self accuse If only his tears would let him Seems everything's a dream these days, Some hellish, some sweet But all 

--

I used to find the idea of receiving a text in the middle of the night strange.

Now, after years of practice, I find it comforting, perhaps a reminder that I am not so alone as I would feel.

I hadn't realized this, of course, until now.

Now, when I wake up to nothing but darkness and my own thoughts.

Now, when, regardless of whether I toss myself awake at 2am or 4am, there is no message.

There's nothing to reassure me that there's another person in this world who is awake and eager to share a moment, even a small, electronic message with me.

1/11/13 - Today Gave my testimony. Adopt a block, played ninja. Eva likes hanging out with Christians. I break rules and have real convos with the disciples. Play bs. Go to angelus temple. Do food distribution. Met hosea who talked to us because he thought I was pretty, was super catholic, thought tim was my bf, etc etc etc

1/29/13 - Oh hi, I'm feeling cold and pathetic, and thought I would ... Email myself. That seems fitting. Somehow emailing yourself feels much more pathetic than just journaling. Right now I feel like I wish anyone, absolutely anyone , would sit down across from me. Even the old creepy man who, after asking a few non essential questions, left me for the warmth of the indoors, or... I don't know, a donut. Why do I feel like this.Lord? Is it because I am not so busy in school? Is it because Adam moved and despite the fact that I was barely hanging out with him last semester anyway, he was a crutch, and knowing that at 1am when I feel pathetic and lonely and confused, I can't even text someone I know would care? I mean. I know others would care. But we aren't exactly on that level just yet. What is my life? Why am I this way, and why do I want attention for it? Or why do I feel the need to find someone who would , what, save me ? From myself.? From my thoughts? Why am I seeking comfort in shallow things, the wings of friends and acquaintences and , frick, anything. Whywhywhywhy. I don't know. Is this what life is like for people? Lord, you are the one God, the only thing worth it, you are good when no one else is, am I getting caught up in things that I shouldn't, what am I even going on about? Life life life. It's all good, right

2/13/13 - (From a voice to text translator)

tomorrow I'm supposed to have an awkward cuddling session with my love scene manager and a love my phone from church I'm not sure how I get myself into these awkward situations but I definitely am good at it office tomorrow my uncle is moving in for a month but should be really awkward and I wish that I had a lock on my door and the house I'm learning that the things that I desire to have a find myself feeling empty when I do get them but I'm happy about it because it gets me clarity because it shows me that nothing else really matters is just kind of in my head really got the only thing that matters is the only thing I should pursue S I miss Adam I know you won't hang out that much before you left but now I guess I'm missing him double I don't know I don't know what I mean exactly but he's been gone a few weeks now and it's weird not having a best friend to talk to you about everything I have a lot of friends I have a lot of good friends but this is different it is different when you have someone who knows so much about you already and you don't have to tell the back story every time you tell them a new story because I already know who so I'm so is or why you feel that way or white was a bad idea that you did that so I'm also giving up ice cream and I'll call for lunch and I'm going to be time to eat a lot better subject tomorrow hopefully that I've also really just been wanting to be free of employment just live and everyday wake up and say what I want to do without help homeless people if I want to make something I want to sell another day love you babe I wanna go out with a friend I make my card I definitely don't want to spend 5 shifts a week at cartel but at the same time I don't feel like I'm self disciplined enough to not have a job I'm just getting tired of the creepers and the internet the kids off work as well as yeah I don't know ent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

8/18/13 -

Woke up really missing my dad. Go figure. Able to properly seduce emotions into a flat, shruggable denial ever since those first few days, and now, on the day I hoped to "stay strong" the most, I can't stop thinking of part of the song he wrote for Rachel, only now in regards to him - "I miss you, in the summertime.. I miss you, in the wintertime.. I miss you - all the time. I love my Rachel Sue." Only.. Daddy-o, or something. Ahhh.. Thank you, Lord, for such a kind father. Please help today glorify your name, run smoothly.. its so obvious we can't do it without you.

8/19/13 - I miss my dad. I am sad that I'll never have him burst in my room in November at three am with pancakes and lit birthday candles because he started thinking about some of the birthdays of mine he had missed, and wanted us to be able to celebrate  together. I can't drink milk or even look at rootbeer without hearing him ask for some, so eagerly, and then sigh 'mmmm, now that's good,' so contentedly after his first sip. I miss that his crazy stories are not going to be things that I share in everyday conversation with my friends, because they're all old stories and it will seem out of place. who do i have to talk to about my dad? no one. it makes everyone sad. theres no one to just share his life with, aside from close family, and that will be limited. Everyone keeps telling me I'm so strong. What does that mean?I'm strong because I didn't start sobbing when I spoke? Because I'm smiling and laughing with you? Is that strength or disposition? Blake said that I was handling this better than anyone he's ever seen deal with death. What does that mean? 

12/13/13

I see a sadness in your eyes.Behind the words, another message.The weight of your world becomes tangible, heavy, a thickness that weights me like a fog rolling in with, strapping invisible bricks to my body. Sometimes it's your words, blatant and straightforward, other times it's the sighs, the eyes that flash with emotion for just a moment, Did you know that's been seen? So many words, how can they be contained? I hear things you've never said, I see 

1/03/14-

I've tried reflecting on 2013.. tried finding words which could somehow, miraculously encapsulate all of the growth, struggle, joy, depression, transformation, and experiences that it contained. It will be one of the most memorable years of my life, for many reasons, but it may also be one of those years that the full impact of may be lost on me for awhile now.In the past few weeks, I've been looking through journals, photos, and letters, remembering and realizing exactly how many changes this year has brought. Led my first missions trip, felt the loss of saying goodbye to one of my best friends, discovered what living with not just my dad, but my uncle Ken, five chickens, two cats, two ducks, a dog, and whoever else decided to stay over was like, became the missions director at middletree church, became an AUNT to the most beautiful little Emelia Skye, gained a new set of amazing and wonderful friends, played nurse/daughter/friend/staff member/sister/maid/hopsicecare/barista/student/leader to the point of confused identity and exhaustion, left cartel to become part of the Caife Caife family, DIDN'T leave the country for the first time in yeaaaaars, actually had to turn down exciting travel/jobs, speaking opportunities, and a leadership position with a non-profit (rather than seek them out, like usual), spent 7 months of the year experiencing the beauty, hardship, and love of caring someone who is dying in more and more ways every day, the trauma and release of my dad's actual death, the months following that are nothing but fog, sorrow, and blurred memories, the 14-state family road trip of a lifetime, moving to the Loop with Dani, experiencing being 'home for the holidays' without any actual family to be home with, and .. I don't know.. the Sara of today, who can look back on things only a year ago and find I have a whole new perspective on them. ..I only wrote one public (well, as public as it can be when I have a total of 8, predominately inactive followers) blog post in 2013, mostly talking about overcoming fear to become the person I feel I'm called to be. It was mostly inspired by revelations from the LA Dream Center trip, and I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look back on the goals and dreams I wanted so desperately to become a reality, and to be able to say that, even through all the changes and sorrow of this year, that they were able to come to fruition. I'm not in to new years resolutions, but I do highly recommend kickstarting your year with an inspiring, transformative experience, which can set the trajectory for how you are going to live, what goals you will meet or fall short of (but still come closer to, which is still GROWTH, something to celebrate!) in the coming adventure of 2014. No matter what 2013 held, don't let fear of who you were just last month keep you from being who you want to be tomorrow. This little blog post is nice for me to re-read, because it reminds me of my fears, and what overcoming them, even one step at a time, can lead to. 2013 was a hard year for me, but it has also brought me to exactly where I feel I'm supposed to be right now. 

1/29/14 - "I'm good" I wore the reassuring words like a blanket. Cover, no, smother whatever was beneath, within.   Protect yourself from the cold, vulnerable words might slip thru the holes in the blanket... exposed means they can feel temperature of your meaning. Heavy, heat from the heart. you can feel their response.  Pray for a warm touch, but there's always risk of icicle daggers

2/19/14

it's just that

I have a lot of thoughts

ideas, fears, ..a lot of places that I'd like to explore

But they feel so heavy when it's just me and them

feels like there’s a lot of trees to climb before i get to the clouds

and I'd like to share them with someone

who cares about them just as much as I do,

someone with just as much to risk,

who understands each side of the story.

And sometimes, I see planets in those eyes,

but have no rocketship to get me there

And I see that depth, but there's just no way to tap in

Im searching for someone to explore with

those infinite galaxies in your mind and mine.

Someone to make sense of it,

write poetry about it

but not get so caught up that it's just us - no

Always God first.

Always seeking his planets, his stars, his truth..

and maybe that's the adventure..