#growing girl musings

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

when you're soulmate isn't romantic. when you know you'll diverge in life but stay in contact for the rest your lives. when you know no matter what you're always honest to each other and the other one always gets you. when you know you would jump off bridges and climb mountains and cross seas and die and more importantly live for the other. when you know you know. when your soulmate is platonic>>>>

[forlix]

HWANG FUCKING HYUNJIN.

[hislittleraincloud]

She reminds me of Edie Sedgwick. She too had million dollar dimples and a bright smile/spirit.

✨📷📸🎥🪷💕✨

[m0onberry222]

eighteen ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

tw: me being extremely sad and angsty about growing up, living life and changing. i'm not sure how sad this actually would be to other people but ik it would make me cry so here you go <3

.

.

.

the other day, my mother invited me out to coffee at the lake -- a sweet little tradition of ours. we sat there in her car because it was much too cold to leave, and watched the ducks play. we talked, she put on some music, and we laughed as we sipped our coffee. mayonnaise by the smashing pumpkins came on. she began to tell me a story, a story about us taking a little road trip when i was just a toddler -- when it was just her and i. she told me about how we were driving along and that song played, and i exclaimed from my little car seat, "mama, i like this day!" it made me smile, but something deep in my chest ached in a way that i couldn't quite describe.

tonight, i find myself sitting in bed in an empty house, listening to mayonnaise. and again, there's that same strange ache. i once read a poem of sorts, a poem that began with the line, "there's an ache in eighteen." i think of that poem often. i think of what it means to me. i think of the ache that i feel, not only in eighteen, but in every day between those blissfully unaware years to the life i lead right now. that ache which is so deep and so consuming that it is often hard to feel otherwise. that ache that is present even on the brightest of spring days, in the freshest and most cooling rushing water, in the sunniest field of wildflowers. the ache that remains even as i enter adulthood, as i experience new things and begin to move on.

that deep, desperate ache as i try to move through life with this mind that seems to only ever seek my ruination, that is unwilling to accept that it is truly the end of an era and that there is nothing that i or anyone else can ever do to turn back that clock. i will never be a toddler again, riding in the backseat of my mother's old saturn, laughing with her while we listen to nine inch nails, the smashing pumpkins, radiohead, and bowie. i will never be a little girl again, leaping into my father's arms every other friday night, getting taco truck tacos and going on quests to see and save every little animal that we could. I will never be a fifth grader again, laughing until i sob, adventuring through the muddy creek, reading, watching cringey gacha life videos, and playing warrior cats with my very first big kid best friend. i will never be an awkward, gawky middle schooler again, staying up into the wee hours of the day just to play minecraft or truth or dare with some of my dearest friends, eating polar pizza and listening to imagine dragons and camila cabello while we hatch devious plans to talk to our crushes. i will never be fifteen years old again, falling in love for the very first time while simultaneously experiencing some of the worst heartbreak i'd ever felt. i will never be seventeen, graduating high school alongside the kids i've known almost my whole life -- kids that i've hardly seen since. i will never read my favorite books for the first time again. i will never watch my siblings grow from babies, to toddlers, to kids, to teenagers again. i will never see some people the way i thought i always would again. i will never get back the people i loved who are dead and gone, or who simply do not ever want to see me again. i will never be three years old again, listening to mayonnaise by the smashing pumpkins with my mother, my only concerns being if we could cuddle and watch hello kitty and maybe even eat some ice cream when we got home. i will never be that girl again. no matter how much i pray and beg and plead, no matter how hard i cry, no matter how badly i wish it wasn't so, it will never change. time will keep marching on, no matter how i feel about it. it doesn't stop at eighteen. and that is just life.

i suppose that there is a certain kind of beauty in it too -- as there is in most anything. but, for now, that is what the "ache in eighteen" means to me. that is the ache that i feel when i listen to mayonnaise by the smashing pumpkins. that is the ache that seems to define this chapter of my life.

[mad-hunts]

forgive me for posting two videos today, y'all (thought this is my account so i suppose i could theoretically do this if i wanted to), but... i saw this video and it reminded me of the kinds of roasts that barton would be making against other rogues whom he dislikes / hates 💀 and both of them are FOUL but barton is a bad person so it unfortunately makes a lot of sense that he'd hit someone low like this JSJSJ ( though, it's also hilarious in a really kind of bad way LMAO)

[choctalksalot]

not a girl but always a daughter

[relicsongmel]

You know, I've held for a long time the belief that canon!Denise eventually surpasses Sylvia and is just a notch above her in terms of battle prowess despite being younger. But the more I think about it the more I realize Paldea!Denise blows Sylvia out of the WATER with how strong she is to the point it's not even a contest

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

Cherri bomb tag dump

[hellsmayflower]

"Can't we just appreciate all body sizes?"

[epitomees]

“ᴶᵘˢᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃᶦᵗ, ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ. ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᴵ’ᵐ ʳᵉˡᵉᵃˢᵉᵈ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵐʸ ᵖʳᶦˢᵒⁿ, ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃˡˡ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘ.”

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

fuck yk i might have a lil crush on my bestfriend.. well i mostly hold platonic love for her but maybe a smidgen of that isn't platonic. maybe i do feel a bit jealous when i picture her with a tall boyfriend with his arm around her waist like she always imagines. but more so that he'll steal her away from my company. i won't be her favourite person outside her parents & brother anymore. maybe it's me mourning a deep friendship that's lasted for many years, and maybe a bit of extra yearning is mixed up somewhere too tho. idk honestly but i just wish she'd be with me. i hope she never ever wants to not talk to me. i don't think i'd survive that actually..

[ahsterism]

they suffer every day and for what... girlish whimsy

[void-tiger]

…I still want a Water Tribble. And am very very sad that the people selling the delightful aquatic moss balls didn’t properly decontaminate them of invasive species like zebra mussel eggs…so now they’re banned.

[fiirecracker]

Caiatl tag drop //

they will know me or not by the strength of my life ( empress caiatl. ) / tear down the tyrants and all that they claim ( caiatl musings. ) / nothing grows until the oak has hit the ground ( caiatl aesthetics. ) / festina lente ( caiatl ic. ) / they stand together in what destiny would bring and crown a queen ( general caiatl ships. ) / power lay upon her like a thousand secrets ( caiatl appearance. ) / there's more to life than struggle and the things we seek to win ( caiatl & julia. ) / i offer you a look inside; i offer you that trust ( zavala & caiatl.) / all the promises of power from his glittering ivory tower ( caiatl & calus.)

[loubella77]

18+ MDNI

Some pretty oysters

[gcddamnvampire]

tag dump