#grieving carl grimes like hes a real person

[zombiigrll]

every time the walking dead mentions carl after season 8 an angel loses its wings

(i sob hysterically)

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 45

Negan knelt in front of me, his hands on my face, rough thumb pads swiping under my eyes. I watched him as he stared at me, trying it seemed to see straight through me. I closed my eyes, and let my hand cover one of his where he rested on my cheek. I couldn’t deny that I liked his touch. I couldn’t say that I felt NOTHING for him, but I also couldn’t agree to become whatever he considered his “wives” to be.

I was holding his hand to my face when I felt the thumb of his other hand touch my lips. I sighed, letting the air in my lungs wash over his fingers. Why did he have to ask this now? Why did he have to make it more complicated than it had to be?

“Jessi,” Negan’s voice was raw, as though he was torn by the mere thought of speaking. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

I opened my eyes and met his gaze. “Why now, Negan?” I asked, thinking that if we dealt with all of it like a bandaid, that maybe we could rush past it, and get to the real issues. My family and his people were going to go toe to toe.

“I told you, Jessi, I-” his eyes closed and he took a deep breath. “I need to know that you won’t hate me if he dies. If he dies during this fucking war that him and your dad seem to need so damn badly.”

When his eyes opened, he saw me studying him. “I didn’t hate you when you killed Abraham, Negan.” I started, and he opened his mouth to speak, but my free hand brushed over his lips to stop him. “Let me speak, please.” His nod gave me the clear to keep going. “I didn’t hate you when you killed him, or Olivia, or Spencer. I didn’t hate you when those deaths happened because I think I understand why you did it.” I sighed again. “This world. The world we live in now, it’s not the same as it was before. Before we had the luxury of high morals, of knowing firmly right from wrong. Now, it’s kill, be killed, or be killed again. Every single person, every LEADER in this new world, has a new set of morals. A new set of right from wrong. A new set of rules.” I closed my own eyes to collect my thoughts. “I’ve watched Daryl leave a barn after beating a man from a rival group for information. I’ve watched my own father attack another man in the middle of Alexandria because he felt he had the moral high ground. I’ve watched women who never once raised a hand to defend themselves against abusive men in their lives kill without blinking.” I opened my eyes to see he was listening intently to me. “I may not always agree with the rules of each leader. I may not always agree with their tactics or their motives. In the end? It doesn’t matter what I agree with. If I choose to follow someone, then they are the leader and I am not. Because I don’t want to LEAD, Negan. It’s not something I’m interested in. I don’t want that responsibility. I don’t want the weight of the lives of followers on MY shoulders or conscience.” I took his hand from my face, but kept our hands together. “If Daryl dies at your hand, or one of your people’s hands, then you have to know that I will experience the pain of losing him. I will grieve him. But hate you for HIS choice to fight? No. That won’t happen.”

His eyes, ever changing, were dark again. He had listened, but did he HEAR me. “Are you really sure about that, Jessi?” He let his fingers link with mine. “That his death, or your dad’s, or fuck, Carl’s, won’t make you hate ME?”

I shook my head. “Death is one of the few constants in our world, from before and now, Negan. Men and women died before this shit started, and they’ll die after your war with Dad and Daryl.” I knew I sounded defeated, because I was. This was something he couldn’t fix. They couldn’t fix it. I would never be better in this one sense. The inevitability of death didn’t make it more reasonable or easier to deal with. “I will grieve, Negan. I will be sad and angry about their deaths, or yours, because it could go either way. But hating you? Or them for that matter? Why would I? I haven’t hated them for anything else, I can’t hate you for it either. You’re all so certain it’s necessary. All I can do, all I can promise is to try my damnedest to help you understand them, and in that you’ll find a way that the cost isn’t as great as it could be.”

“I don’t want you to disappear inside yourself over this, Jessica.” His eyes were still locked on mine. “I don’t want you to lose yourself because of this shit.” I could see he meant it, and I didn’t know why he was so concerned.

“Negan,” I was staring at him, trying to think of a way to phrase what I wanted to know without raising the tension in the room to a fever pitch again. “Why do you care, really?” Our fingers were still linked. “Don’t you have enough wives?” I tried to make it sound flippant, but I was honestly trying to understand him.

He got to his feet and used his free hand to run down his face. His other was still holding my hand and he used it to pull me from my chair. Sitting down in his spot on the sofa, he tugged me onto his lap. His face found my neck and he inhaled the scent of my skin, seemingly to calm himself or to gather his thoughts.

“I don’t know.” He whispered, his breath fanning against my skin. “I don’t know why I care. I don’t know why it matters if you hate me, Jessica Grimes. I just fucking do. I care. I want you to-”

When he stopped, a groan left his lips as though the mere thoughts he wanted to give life to by voicing them. I felt like I was holding my breath, but then his hands were cupping my face and he was staring me in the eyes again. And then his lips met mine and my eyes closed. Kissing me, Negan felt like he was as tormented as he’d been in trying to explain himself, but he was trying, I could tell to show me.

I let the kiss go on for as long as I could, but I wanted answers. Making out with Negan was well worth the time, but the truth was that being physical with him would NOT make what we needed to get clear come out easier. I finally pulled away, watching his eyes open when I moved my mouth from his.

“Words, Negan.” I begged. I needed to understand, and kissing it away wasn’t going to work. Not for me.

“I want YOU, Jessi. I want you and me, I want US.” I knew I looked confused because I felt it. He swallowed hard and glanced down. “What we have, what I want us to have, it isn’t the same.” As? I wanted to ask, but I waited. He was talking now, I didn’t want him to clam up. “My wives, they were offered a deal, or some offered me a deal-” Another swallow, and I stayed quiet. “What you offered? Was YOUR LIFE for someone else. You wanted to die and use me to do it, but you also wanted to SAVE someone with your death.” It was the truth, but I didn’t quite understand. “You had no fucking clue I’d bring you here. That I’d let you live, that I’d work to bring you back to yourself.” Also all true. “When I asked you if you wanted me, I had to know that you didn’t assume it was part of you being alive still. That this, us, wasn’t part of it. That you aren’t THEM.”

I leaned back, staying on his lap, but wanting to see him. His face, his posture, and his eyes. “When you say they, the wives, had a deal?” I wanted to know, he had his curiosity, so did I.

Negan sighed, his eyes tight. “The ones that had partners, were offered a place with me, for their own safety and to keep their men in line. The others came to me, wanting the same protection and perks.”

“Perks?” I asked, starting to understand a bit more.

“No points. No fighting. Safety and luxury.” I nodded, showing I wanted all of it. “In return, I owned their bodies. Their partners couldn’t touch them again. They were my wives, after all.” He said it as though it made perfect sense. His harem for their luxurious lives.

“That’s why-” I closed my eyes at the memory of the man’s skin burning. The smell of burnt flesh. “Because she cheated.” I whispered, remembering him and the woman, her vows of her love for him and I felt sick. “What about me?” I wanted to know, I needed certainty even with his multiple wives that the rules didn’t apply to him.

“It’s a one way street, Jessi.” His voice was quiet, he was clearly watching my face. “They get a better deal than me, in so many fucking ways.” Sure, I thought, they didn’t have to be with you every time you rang the bell. Or hell, maybe there were nights when they all took him on, how would I ever fucking know?

“Of course,” I stood up and moved out of his reach. “Pretty clothes, safety, and unlimited shit that they don’t have to work for-” except flat on their backs, or on their knees. “What about Eugene?”

“Eugene?” He clearly forgot that his harem was currently keeping Dr. Mullet company.

I was standing at the window, staring out into the darkness so different from my own. I directed my next words to the glass. “Yes, Eugene, the bullet maker. Aren’t YOUR WIVES keeping him entertained?”

“They aren’t fucking him.” He offered, clearly bothered by the very idea. “I’m not even sure he’s capable.”

My hand pressed against the cool glass. “And me? Would I be entertainment for your next pet?”

“Jessi,” Negan groaned, and I heard him stand. “Didn’t I say that you’re fucking different?”

“Don’t come closer, please.” I didn’t turn around, but I needed him to not touch me. “How am I different? Because I wanted to DIE and you saved me? Because I didn’t offer to sleep with you for my freedom or gifts? Because I wanted to DIE and I became a martyr in your eyes?” I turned finally, and let him see the pain on my face. “Negan, I’m not a fucking saint. I’m not a martyr. I’m someone who gave the FUCK UP. I couldn’t stand this fucking world. The pain, the death. Watching my baby brother turn merciless. Watching my dad and the man I love decide that they are willing to let people DIE so our people can have ‘more’?” I sighed and leaned against the wall beside the window. “You think you see me so fucking clearly. You don’t see me any better than they did.”

He started forward, but I held up my hand to stop him. “You take the bed, Negan, I’ll take the couch.” It was final. And he knew it. I needed space. And since he wouldn’t let me leave this room without him, then I’d be sleeping alone. Period.

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#136 The Right One (9x03)

Y’all, if anything Richonne related was recorded and released then I gotta break it down. That’s just the rules. 😂 And there were three deleted scenes from this episode that didn’t make it on the air but were still filled with Richonne goodness so I definitely gotta break it down and revel in it.

So the first deleted scene is with the Grimes Family visiting Siddiq. Judith is looking at Siddiq like doctors visits are not her favorite and Rick and Michonne sit next to each other on the side, trying to be as positive as possible so that Judith will be down to get her check up. 

R&M look adorable as they so easily go into this parent role of encouraging Judith. ☺️ Like I love that they’re the kind of parents who both will feel it necessary to take time off to take their daughter to the doctor together as a whole family event. 

So Siddiq suggests to Judith that maybe her dad can go first and Rick’s all cutely nodding and willing to do this for his daughter and then he reassures her “And Family Fun Day right after, I promise.” as Michonne nods in agreement. My face hurts from smiling like a dork lol. I love that “family fun day” is the coined phrase for them and that Rick is so eager to give Judith (and Michonne) (and him) this Family Fun Day. I could listen to Rick refer to the three of them as family all day. 💯 

So Rick gets up and he and Siddiq demonstrate the whole breathing thing which is cute and Judith smiles very entertained, which is even cuter. And then Siddiq mentions that Judith’s file doesn’t have a family history. 

And Rick looks over to Michonne cuz they both know why this conversation is a bit awkward. I’m glad Rick confided in Michonne about that whole Lori and Shane moment in season 7 cuz now he has someone who can be on the same page with him about this kind of stuff.

Siddiq asks if there are any conditions that run in the family like allergies and chronic conditions and all that.

Both Rick and Michonne share a knowing look like, “Look our daughter has a very complicated family history” lol. 😬 Like look at their faces and tell me that’s not a direct quote from their mind.

It’s so interesting tho to have a moment in season nine that alludes to stuff that went down in season two. Again, Michonne never even met Lori and Shane but I’m glad she knows enough to be able to share an understanding and supportive feeling with Rick here, rather than this being something Rick has to carry alone. 

And Rick seems very happy to sort of look at Michonne throughout like “well ain’t this a little messy situation cuz of messy Lori & Shane”. Direct quote from Rick’s mind. 😂

But Rick plays it off saying, “I can’t remember much.” I feel like this really does cement that Rick has reason to be sure Judith isn’t his. Cuz I feel like if it was just a “feeling” that she’s not his biological daughter then he would’ve at least tried to think of some family conditions he might have, but Homeboy’s certain so he’s like nope I did the math and you don’t have to worry about my family history here.

I know for R&M, Judith is their daughter period so I feel like that’d be why they don’t clarify to Siddiq that her parents aren’t actually alive, cuz as far as anyone is concerned Rick and Michonne are her parents.

Rick then quickly changes the subject and asks about Aaron and then they talk about the missing savior and all that. Michonne’s a bit concerned about the fact that a savior was sent packing by Rick and left at night, but Rick is fairly certain it’s nbd. 

And I wish it was no problem. I really do. Cuz then that perfect family fun day wouldn’t have had to end so abruptly. But I just have to note this scene for being yet another glimpse into the lives of the Grimes mom and dad. 😊

The next deleted scene is on the picnic blanket. I wanted this picnic blanket scene to be it’s own episode/spin-off series lol. 😂 But I’m glad that since it was only a clip in the montage, that there was at least a deleted scene with them in this moment.

The scene starts with Rick and Michonne watching Judith in this quiet peaceful environment. Judith coughs and Rick is quick to assure both him and Michonne, “It’s just a cough, nothing to worry about.”  

Michonne agrees and says, “Yeah. Still I’m glad we checked cuz you never know.” Mama Michonne’s saying it’s better to be safe than sorry which I’m sure she feels strongly after losing both her sons so suddenly.

There’s something deep about this moment between them because of course they’re caring parents so that’s why this cough is of note to them, but also as of now this is their last remaining kid. And I know they are both so resolved to never lose her or let anything bad happen to her, whether it be something big like a walker and outside threats or something seemingly “small” like a cough and potential sickness.

Rick gets closer to Michonne and says, “If we could just have a few more years like this; quiet ones. For her sake and ours.” 

I really love that it’s been made clear multiple times throughout this series that Rick’s ideal life would consist of just getting peaceful time with Michonne and their family. 

Just like he wanted a few more days in 7x12, here he expresses wanting a few more years to have beautiful moments like this family fun day. The type of day they’re having and have clearly had in the last year and a half is the type of life he wants Judith to grow up with.

It’s sweet that he says for her sake but also for theirs. Of course they want Judith to have the best and happiest life possible, but I appreciate that Rick wants that for him and Michonne too. “And ours”. They’re married, y’all. 🙌🏽💯

I feel like this line is also meant to allude to the fact that raising a new baby in a world that can finally be quiet and tranquil would be great for them and their expanding family. Like he’s saying, if we can have peaceful years like this, then our babies (plural!!) will really be able to thrive.

I’m just glad Rick was written to be so expressive of loving his time with Michonne and their family this season. Like any chance he gets he’s giving her his focus and expressing his love and appreciation both verbally and non verbally. 

It also just makes me think about how, in Carl’s final moments. Carl shared his vision of the future with R&M and one of the things he envisioned is that “Michonne is happy.” That’s something that was important to Carl and has been important to Rick for a long time too. Rick promised Carl he’d make everything in Carl’s vision real and I feel like making Michonne happy has been a priority to Rick this season, after having to go on his own grieving journey last season. 

With this deleted scene, I love that Rick somewhat randomly brings up how what he wants is to live out his years just like this with them. Years, y’all. 🙌🏽 That’s significant cuz in the past nobody had the luxury to think in terms of years, TF was just trying to survive and make it to the next day. But this really does show how sustainable life’s become, that Rick can now talk in terms of years and that he wants that much time to not just survive but really live and enjoy life with his family.

Michonne of course agrees and says yeah. And it’s emotional cuz this is all both of them want. As hard as they’ve fought to survive and as much as they’ve been through, all they want is to be able to put that aside and live life as a family.

And then as they both smile watching Judith, who is their little light, Rick takes Michonne’s hand. I absolutely adore this. 🥰 

One; I adore that they hold hands any chance they get and two; just the act is so sweet, especially because I feel like this is Rick at his most happy and content. And I feel like him taking her hand emphasizes the “and ours” part cuz he’s like this right here, watching our daughter is perfect and also this right here being with you is what makes it perfect too. So he wants Michonne to know that she’s his light and hope in this as well. 😌 

He takes her hand also to just serve as yet another reminder that no matter what happens they’re in it together. The world has a tendency to scream at them a lot but they know they can withstand whatever would come at them in these coming years. 

And this couple is balanced cuz he takes her hand in this moment to offer comfort and then as we saw in the actual episode, Michonne does the same when she takes his hand to offer comfort before he goes. I love the parallel of that cuz it illustrates how they both equally offer each other this comfort and unity. 

I was just looking at Rick and Michonne and Judith together at this picnic like...

Like Rick knows he’s got the best wife and that with all the work the two of them have put in to making this world civil again, he believes they’ll be able to rest and enjoy it. 

He also knows that they’re taking a huge step and investment in believing this world will be at peace, by agreeing to bring a kid into all this. I love that in this moment it’s the two of them, as this unbreakable unit and as this unmatched love, ready to take on the future together. 👏🏽👏🏽😊

So the final deleted scene from this episode is one with Rick and Carol. They all split up with people they trust so Rick pairs with Carol. As they walk Rick notices Carol’s engagement ring and says, “It looks good.” And I was like, Rick there’s another woman who a ring would look real good on too. 👌

Rick goes on to tell Carol how he’s happy for her that she found a good person and the right person in all this. And it’s sweet that he’s taking time out to address this and express his fondness for Carol and Ezekiel. He personally knows how fortunate finding that someone special is, so he’s happy Carol’s experiencing some of what he’s gotten to experience. 

And Carol’s a real one cuz she tells Rick, “You too.” in regards to him finding Michonne. I seriously love that she tells Rick he found the right person for him cuz...

And Rick also was thinking in his head “facts” at the moment, cuz he just looks so proud and certain when he lifts up his head and shoulders and confidently says, “Yeah, I did.” 😋

I’m beyond here for this moment and I really wish it would’ve made the cut. It’s already nice to cement he found a good person in all this but the part I love most is “the right person”. Rick knows he is with the right person. He’s with the one. 

I also wish this scene had made the cut because one thing I had been wanting is for outside characters to acknowledge Rick and Michonne as a couple more. It really hasn’t been since 6x11 where characters really made note of Richonne. And granted it’s not like it has to be the talk of the town but still. 

And it means a lot for Carol to be the one to say this cuz Carol was in season one. She’s known Rick a long time and she knew Lori. So for Carol to be like “Rick, we both upgraded in this apocalypse” is great and it’s true. 💯😋 

I love that Rick gets to acknowledge to someone that he found the right person. He found the person he was meant for and who was meant for him. And he proudly knows it. 

Him and Carol know he’s got the baddest chick in the game. Amen. So Rick says “Yeah I did” but y’all that translates to...

#DirectQuote from the famous Rick Grime’s mind lol.

This moment also reminds me of when Morales ran into Rick in season eight and was surprised to learn that Glenn had found a wife in all this. And Rick was able to acknowledge both there and now how that’s possible, because he’s living out a story where he found his soul mate in all this too. 

It’s great that he so happily and naturally expresses this, especially after the day he’d had with Michonne. Like this is coming off of the beautiful morning he’s had with her and the family fun day they spent together and so he’s especially thinking about how he’s got the right one and the best one and is proud to declare it.

And then Carol smiles and says, “Who’d have thought?” cuz it is quite a whirlwind to think one could find the love of their life in all this, especially after such a tumultuous first relationship, but for Rick that’s exactly what happened.

(Side note: I miss seeing Carol with this haircut. Hopefully she goes back to this style cuz if they’re going to take down Alpha then…they betta call Carol with the short hair 😂.)

In the part of this scene that did make the cut, Rick confides in Carol and tells her that every morning he wakes up and has this moment of wanting to walk down and kill Negan and just finish off the saviors and how in that moment it’s all he wants. I like the significance of this line because we saw what he actually did in his morning which is connect with his family. 

It shows that while he may wake up with a rage towards Negan, he instead turns his attention towards all the good in his life. He turns to Michonne, and Judith, and Carl and then he’s reminded of what’s more important than killing his enemy. His family brings him back. 😌

Rick says he thinks about everyone they’ve lost and how he has to honor them. (Although call me crazy but I low key think Abraham and Glenn would be honored to have someone kill Negan and keep him from messing with anyone else lol. 👀) And Rick says he knows it’s time to build life not take it which is exactly what he and Michonne are doing and have done. 

I appreciate that 9x03 was such a blessing, even the deleted scenes had prime Richonne content. 🙌🏽

And it’s great hearing Rick verbally confirm what we all been knew and that’s that; Rick and Michonne got the right one. 😊💯🎉

gifs source: @michonnegrimes

[emiliaclarkesdragons]

Rebekah lay still as Carl slept next to her. She didn't want to move in case she woke him up. Bekah glanced at her watch, she could only just see the hands moving. It was time for her to leave. Bekah got up off the bed slowly, reaching under the bed for her backpack. She went into the bathroom, she pulled on some light coloured jeans, combat boots, tied a black and white plaid shirt around her waist over the red jumper. It was cold at night, they could never predict the weather anymore, there was no weather broadcast, they just had to take it day by day. So, she shoved her shorts, tshirt and another beenie in her bag. She pulled the white one over her blonde beach waves. She felt her hair, what I would do for a shower, she wondered as she pulled her long hair out of her jumper.

Rebekah did not look at Carl again if she did she would never leave. The reason for her leaving unexpectedly in the night was what happened the past week. Rebekah had felt the loss to, they had lost Glenn and Abraham, but that didn't give Carl the right to control her.

Rebekah walked up to Rick, Carl was also there. She was wishing he would leave. "Hi, Rick..." she trailed off, as she looked at Carl. Rick glanced at Carl.

"I'm not leaving, if that's what your thinking," Carl huffed, crossing his arms.

"Erm, Rick... I was wondering if I was able to go and see Maggie..." Bekah trailed off as she saw Carl's jaw clench. "I just feel as though she'll need someone in-"

"No. Not a fucking chance," Carl burst out, Rick was about to scold him for his language, "you aren't seriously thinking of going out there after what's just happened?"

"Carl, she needs someone with her, she's grieving-"

"You weren't there, you don't understand these people!" Carl shouted, now he wasn't going to be reasonable.

Rebekah's face went into natural which meant she was now going to be very stubborn about the whole thing. If Carl wanted to use that against her, that was fine. "I know I wasn't, and I know how lucky I was-"

"And why weren't you there, huh?" Carl asked, stepping closer, Rick's hand placed his arm in between them. It wasn't that he thought Carl was violent towards Bekah but he didn't want Bekah to hit Carl.

"Because you-" Bekah pocked him hard in the chest, "-don't let me out of these damn walls, I fell useless Carl! I want to help Maggie, I don't want to be stuck here. What do you think Maggie's thinking right now?" She was shouting the questions. Maggie and Rebekah had leaned on each other since they met, she was with Maggie when they all gotten separated after terminus. Even then, Maggie babied her like Carl did. Not letting her kill a walker but back then Rebekah was happy about that. Now? No, she needed to learn how to defend herself in the real world. Carl was about to answer, but Rebekah was done, "I can't keep living in this dream world on my own, Carl."

Rebekah climbed over the wall at the back of Alexandria, she had been planning this for a week. Of course, Rick had sided with his son, Bekah expected nothing else. She was fine with that, she would get to Hilltop herself. She had asked Rosita for a map, she gave the map to her. On some conditions:

1) Rebekah wouldn't more than a week - That she could do, she just wanted to see Maggie, to show she cared.

2) Rebekah would get her a pistol, with at least one bullet - Bekah thought she could do that.

3) Rebekah wouldn't get herself killed, otherwise, she would be in as much trouble as Bekah - she would try not to get killed but she made no promises on it.

As Bekah walked on the roads, she knew she shouldn't but she also knew that none of Negan's men had seen her before. She looked up from the map and bang!

Carl woke the next morning, he turned over expecting to see Rebekah blonde hair falling over her face, he expected her to wake up when he moved her hair out of her face and he expected to see her blue eyes looking into his. But, she was not there. It seemed that all traces of her had disappeared. "Dad!" Carl shouted as he ran through the house, out into the crisp fresh air and down to the gate. "Dad!" he repeated over and over. His dad wasn't at the gate. He looked lost, Carol saw him and she ran over to him.

"Carl, Carl, calm down," Carol held his shoulders, "what's wrong?"

"I need to find my dad," Carl tried to break away from Carol's grip.

"I know that, but why?"

"Rebekah! She's gone!" Carl shouted, his panic took over and he began to cry. He was blaming himself. He knew it was his fault, Carol pulled him into a hug to comfort him.

"Rosita, can you get Rick, please?" Carol asked her as she was walking by. She nodded, but she had a moment of panic, that was her fault, she thought.

Rick had sent out a search party, he had told them to go to Hilltop first. Carl had said that there was no way for her to find it as she had never gone, Rosita had stayed quiet. There was nothing else they could do but look, while they were out they were told to look for some supplies for Negan too. They weren't too pleased and made Rebekah a priority over supplies. Carl was forced to stay behind and Rick stayed with him, he couldn't risk Carl going out there. He would go straight to Negan, that was where he believed she was.

"Negan must have snatched her up off the road," Carl said, he was certain. "He has never seen her in here, she's smart enough to lie to him, surely." Rick didn't say a word, but he was blaming himself. He should have allowed her to do to Hilltop and made sure someone took her up there. All she wanted to do was see if Maggie was really okay, word of mouth isn't good enough when it comes to loved ones. Rick knew that. Carl knew that. Someone was blaming themselves for the disappearance of Rebekah.

Carl was. He had trapped her in 'this dream world' as she had called it.

Rick was. He had refused to let her go and see Maggie. He could say it was Carl too but Rick had the final say around here.

Rosita was. She was the one who had given her the map and directions. But, she was holding onto the conditions they had agreed on. Don't die.

The guards were. They believed she had slipped past them while they were playing cards. They didn't know she had climbed the wall at the back of Alexandria.

Three days past and the search party only came back with supplies. No Rebekah, not even a clue to be found. After five days, Carl was starting to believe even more that she was taken by Negan. Rick was trying not to fuel it. But, he didn't want to say that she could be dead and it was looking that way. Rick went to the lake, that was where Carl had been sitting lately. "Carl," Rick said, "we- we still can't find anything." It was the hardest thing he had to say to his son. That he couldn't find the person he loved.

"Have you asked-"

"Yes, Carl," Rick sighed and crouched down next to him, "I'm not saying that we should give up but-"

"But, you are," Carl said sternly looking Rick dead in the eyes. Rick's eyes said the truth, "how could you say that?"

The guard, who had been on duty the night she had gone missing ran as fast as he could to Rick. "Rick! Rick!" he yelled as he got closer, "she's here! she's back!" He stopped as Carl and Rick ran past him to the gate.

Rick told them to open the gate. As the gate opened, it relieved a girl, she had long blonde hair, a black beanie on, with floral shorts and a black crop top. She was covered in blood but her clothes were surprisingly clean. Sticking out of her combat book was a knife, one that Carl had given to her for her birthday. In her pocket was a pistol, and she was carrying a rifle.

Carl noticed that she walked differently, she carried herself differently. She walked past Carl and Rick. She pulled out the pistol from her pocket, "I haven't been gone more than a week, here's your pistol with one shot in it," she handed it to Rosita, "and as you can see, I am not dead," Rebekah held out her hands as if showing herself off to Rosita.

"What the fuck happened to you?!" Carl shouted. Rebekah turned to him. "Where the hell were you?!" He shouted again as he walked up to her. He turned his anger towards Rosita, "After all we witnessed, and you didn't stop her-"

"Hey! Don't start with her! this was your fault! I wanted to leave and she set the rules and I stuck to them, alright," Rebekah said firmly, but she did not shout.

"And what rules were they?" Carl asked.

"Come back within a week, here I am within a week. Bring her back a pistol with one shot, I did," Rebekah turned back to Rosita, "there would have been more but I needed to use them on a few people," she turned back to Carl, "and don't get myself killed," she motioned to herself.

Carl wasn't sure if he was happy to see her, angry that she left and came back, or slightly amazed and curious to what happened to her and why she had a rifle and needed to use the pistol.

So, Carl asked. "Well, you see I was a bit lost so I was looking at the map, then someone shot me," she pointed to her leg, which had a bloody bandage on it. "I didn't wake up until I was actually there- oh here you are Rick," she handed him a piece of paper that was covered in dry blood, "that's been sitting in my bandage for a while, I apologise."

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"What I could remember of Sanctuary, yes, Negan's men had found me," Rebekah nodded, now she was talking to a large group who were very interested. "I obviously didn't tell them I was from here, I know I have my blonde moments but- anyway, I was allowed out by myself. Negan took a shine to me, I was planning my escape. Because I only had a knife, they didn't think I was dangerous. Long story short, I stole the pistole used it on some of Negan's men. When I realised it was nearly out of bullets I took this rifle. And here I am."

Thanks for reading!

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

120: The Staying (8x14)

Y’all this was the episode that had me most excited to return to these revelings and I know y’all know why lol. 😋 So this is legit me walking into these 8x14 posts rn...

There’s a very special scene to celebrate and break down in this episode and I can’t wait, but before that, there’s definitely some notable moments beforehand to talk about too.

And this first one is the really beautiful scene we get with Rick and Michonne and the letters. 🙌🏾

And y’all my extra self of course wrote a dissertation on this one scene cuz there’s so much to analyze. 🙈😂 This moment between them is that meaningful and layered, so you know we gotta break it all the way down. 

So the scene starts with Michonne getting emotional as she stands alone in the room and reads Carl’s letter. And y’all, it breaks my whole heart. 😭 

But there is something heartwarming about it too cuz Michonne so clearly wants to honor Carl’s memory and hold on to the last little piece of her best friend she has left through this letter.

As sad as it makes her, she continues to turn to his words and connect to Carl in this way, which I’m glad cuz the last thing they should do is suppress Carl and his memory.

Also this moment made me even more annoyed with Enid because her trifling self was all up in Michonne’s face about Carl dying, and at that time Michonne had to be composed and cordial even tho you know it hurt to hear that. And so here in 8x14 we see that in the quiet of her room she’s now able to let all the pain of the loss fully hit her.

And it’s a big deal that she’s letting herself grieve and let out this emotion cuz there was a time when the old Michonne would have likely suppressed and shut down after a loss like this.

But luckily her best friend knew just what to say to keep that from happening, cuz Carl deliberately advised her to not carry this part. So I really feel like she’s been able to find this balance since losing him, of addressing the loss without carrying the loss in an unhealthy way. 👌🏽

So then Rick walks in and sees Michonne. They make eye contact but he looks away cuz again at this point he’s shielding himself from anything that could heal him.

Rick sees her holding the letter and you can see the anxiety he feels cuz this is something he’s been running from and he’s clearly dreading having to face his own letter.

Michonne doesn’t say anything and I feel like to see her in this vulnerable spot is a wake up call for Rick to see just how much she’s hurting since she lost Carl too. He knew they were both in pain but I think to visibly see her emotional like this, whereas most every other time post-Carl the focus has been on her reaching out for him and letting him be the emotional one, helps Rick to understand just how much she’s in need of comforting too. 

And I think Rick knows that even in this time of grief for him, the responsibility he still has is to be there for Michonne because she’s been by his side every step of the way in all of this.

So as much as Rick might feel the temptation to just run from this, what I love is that we get to see him decide that Michonne is more worth it than his own fears.

Despite the pain and suppression he feels, he still musters the strength to comfort her and acknowledge her pain. And he does this through going to her and doing the immensely intimate act of gently wiping her tears. Cuz soul mates. 😊🙌🏾

Y’all this is legit too beautiful. 😭 I love that this really highlights how close they’ve become to do something so personal like this. 

Like this just feel so natural for both of them and it really is evident that there’s something out of this world that connects them, cuz finally having this form of contact seems to just give both of them a real sense of relief and comfort. Being together like this is the way they’re meant to be.

Rick might not have the words yet to really speak with her but that’s not going to stop him from trying to offer comfort through his actions.👌🏽 And seeing him finally be at a point of acknowledging her pain and consoling her had me like...

It’s so nice to see Rick finally look at her fully and you can just feel the deep love he has for her as he looks at her. She truly is something special to him, y’all. ☺️

It’s also significant that his act of comfort is wiping away the tears cuz I think it symbolizes both his care and also his desire to just wipe away the pain for both of them if only it were that simple. R&M are both people who always want to be useful so he wants so badly to take this pain away for her.

This act is even more precious when I think about the fact that this is Rick Grimes, who to most people is the baddest of the bunch and nothing to play with, but with Michonne he’s so loving and tender.

And he has shown throughout the seasons that Michonne being happy is a priority to him, so you know it breaks him to see her like this.

This moment really solidifies how they love each other more than their own feelings and he’s pushing past what he feels in order to be there for her cuz he not only sees her hurting but he feels it too cuz they’re so interconnected.  

So as they look into each other’s eyes and have this long awaited moment of connecting it’s really sweet that Michonne asks Rick if he wants to read the letter Carl gave her.

It’s deep cuz it shows that in this relationship what’s hers is his and what’s his is hers, so of course she’s open to share. And allowing Rick to read the letter Carl wrote to her would give Rick one more piece of Carl to take in. Cuz once they read those letters it’ll be the last new thing they have from him. 😢

I love that she poses it as a question because she’s giving him the choice. And I also appreciate that she offers cuz she knows that he could find comfort in it even if he doesn’t see it like that just yet.

(Side note: I hope this show knows it’s important we eventually hear what was in Michonne’s letter. I so badly want to know what he would’ve wrote her cuz I bet it’d be precious. And I also am really hoping there could be some mention of how she became his mom. That’s part of why I was fine with the best friends thing cuz I was like the mom mention better be in the letter. So when it comes to showing us her letter, TWD...

But like I said, these letters weigh heavy on Rick so this triggers him to push away again. The fear of the letters initially is trumping his need to be with her and this stands out cuz usually nothing trumps his need to be with her. 

What’s cool is that even though he’s not ready to face the letters yet and he’s essentially saying no, he’s still holding her hand and connected with her. So it’s not a rejection of her or even her offer, it’s more so him being real that he feels he can’t read these letters yet.

I love that there’s almost this dance done as he slowly backs away and she moves closer to him. It legit feels magnetic. 💯

So Rick starts to physically pull away and he goes over to the closet. And that’s how you know this isn’t a healthy Rick cuz for a moment his fear overpowered her presence and led him to pull away, which never happens with a healthy Rick who would have easily stayed in that moment with her for a long time.

When Rick walks to the closet you can see him having a moment of feeling off and dazed and I really think part of this is because he knows he shouldn’t be pushing away from her. He knows walking away from her doesn’t feel right cuz y’all that’s not how magnets are designed. But again, the unstable Rick is drowning out his true self.  

(Side note: I love knowing that the two of them picked a room to make their own together at Hilltop. ☺️)

Rick grabs the murder coat and that coat is a clear indicator that whatever Rick’s about to do is not going to be some kumbaya activity. 😂

Michonne turns and sees him and she immediately knows that he’s going out there (probably to do something wildin), and Rick gives his explanation about how they need food so he’s going to get some. He tries to say it casually but he can’t completely look at her here cuz he knows he’s not being honest with the one person he’s meant to be honest with.

It’s deep that throughout this moment Michonne is able to stay looking at Rick, even despite the fact that he is a constant reminder of Carl for her too. And Rick knows he needs to look at her and speak with her cuz she’s the cure and the one person who can reach him but again, he doesn’t feel he deserves that right now.

It reminds me of how he told her in Season 5 that she could’ve talked him out of their whole secret gun thing. Rick knows that if he’s around Michonne long enough she can talk him out of this wrathful self-sabotage state he seems to be in, so in an act of further self sabotage he’s pushing away.

After hearing Rick’s reasoning for going out, Michonne doesn’t address that, but instead she gets to the heart of the issue and asks Rick, “What did he write you.”

Again, I love that she is unafraid to deal with the real stuff with her man as tough as it is. Addressing the root will help him and all she wants is to help him through even if it’s doing hard things like having hard conversations.

So Michonne gets straight to the deeper issue cuz she knows they’ve built a mature relationship where they let it out and talk about everything with vulnerable honest communication. 💯

(Side note: Another reason these other characters need to put some respek on Michonne’s name is cuz she is the one to save their leader and pull him out of the darkness so many times. It’s a big responsibility that she does effortlessly and continuously and the whole community is better off because of it. So these characters have to realize there isn’t exactly a healthy leader Rick if not for Michonne being the one to lift him up. 💯)

Rick admits he doesn’t know what Carl wrote him cuz he can’t bring himself to read it and while he’s trying to run from this subject, I think you can also see the real Rick trying to come through and be vulnerable here too.

And I love that Michonne stops him and says “Wait.” There’s something about her saying wait that feels so loving cuz it’s not demanding, it’s more like she’s saying I know you’re about to walk out and away from this and from me and it’s urging him to give them this moment to not run but finally talk. She knows walking away and leaving this room can be damaging so she needs him to wait and hear her out.

When she says wait Rick does finally stop and face her and they’re standing closer now cuz magnets. He says he can’t with more vulnerability in his voice and you can see how fragile he feels. 

And then She tells him “You have to.” In a way that feels completely like she’s speaking from experience.

As always it’s not demanding or pushy, it’s coming from a place of knowing the longer he puts this off the harder the journey will be and the more his mental state will deteriorate, and she’s determined to keep that from happening to him.

They both have an immensely strong desire to protect each other and that’s why she stresses that he has to, because she wants to protect him from the dark places she went to when she experienced this kind of loss.

You can hear the plea in her voice because she knows it’s important and she wants him to me be okay. Like since season four they’ve established their you’re okay/I’m okay connection. And they’re both not okay right now so they have to go on this healing path together in order for both of them to ever truly heal individually, cuz they’re just one like that. Grieving together will help them get better. 👌🏽

Michonne then says “I did it too. When it happened to me.” And cue my internal and eternal tears. 😭

I’m so here for the fact that Michonne brings up losing her first son, cuz I thought surely this would have to be brought up between her and Rick in this new arc of losing Carl. If I’m not mistaken, this is the first time since season 4 that Michonne gets to reference her son.

I would’ve loved if they let her expand on it even more in their conversation but I am glad that this at least implies that Michonne having a son isn’t news to Rick. He seems to know all about her son cuz he definitely should by this point in their relationship. (It would’ve been great to see that initial conversation when she first told him tho.)

I adore that she levels with him through vulnerability and opens up about something personal. It’s their consistent thing, and it really is one of my favorite aspects of their relationship. 🙌🏾

Once she starts talking about this, Rick finally looks at her and then of course it’s like he can’t stop. We see him be entranced yet again and it finally seems like he’s letting himself hear and see her which is the way it’s meant to be. 

His look just makes it so clear that she makes so much sense to him, not just what she says, but who she is.

Like I said, all versions of Rick love Michonne so even this deflecting and vulnerable Rick can’t help but look at her like she’s his light.

And I feel like he understands she’s giving him another piece of her heart in this moment too. This has to resonate with Rick and help him to just fully grasp that his woman can help him through this, both cuz she lost Carl but also cuz she’s gone through losing a son in her past as well.

This can almost provide a sense of hope for Rick too in knowing that someone he loves has gone through this and came out on the other side. It was a reminder that he can get better and that she really does get this cuz she’s lost a son twice now.

And it really is so meaningful that she’s willing to bring up something so deep cuz it’s such a tough and emotional topic already, but then add to it that losing Carl has probably caused all those past feelings to resurface it’s probably heavier than ever for her, but she is willing to address her personal wound if it means helping her man. She loves him, y’all. 😊👌🏽

And as usual, Sis always knows what to say to communicate with him because when she says “You keep moving to move away from it.” it’s spot on.👏🏽👏🏽

Like it’s such a true statement cuz it’s what Michonne did when she was first introduced and it also perfectly encapsulates what Rick is doing right now.

The thing is when you move from the pain and don’t address it, that pain will follow you around more than a Morgan Hallucination. And Michonne knows that until you address it, it’ll haunt you.

I think this line of moving to move away from it also speaks to why Michonne’s been able to be so patient and compassionate with Rick during this time. Cuz she knows he’s not trying to move away from her but rather the pain.

And the way Rick looks at her here, I really feel like his heart breaks not just for him but for her and knowing she’s had to go through this twice and also that his state of mind isn’t allowing him to be there for her the way he knows he should be and wants to be.

I’m glad that Rick becomes more present with her upon hearing this. He can’t help but be. I’m telling you if she’s in front of him for longer than a second, he can’t help but be locked into her (that’s why it seems like there’s a lot of energy exerted when he pushes away cuz it’s just not natural for them).

She then she tells Rick, “Andrea stopped me” And it’s always nice to hear characters recall past characters (even if Andrea irked me to no end lol) 

Hearing Michonne bring up Andrea reminded me of the one good thing Andrea did which is helped Michonne to stay in one place and care about someone again. And that led Michonne to find her Grimes 2.0 family and fall in love with the man in front of her, so if Michonne credits Andrea for that then I guess I gotta say thanks Andrea. (just for that one thing tho 😂)

I really love that Michonne then tells Rick, “And now I’m stopping you.” It shows that she knows she can and does play that big of a role in his life.

And she’s willing to stop him while he doesn’t have the clarity to stop himself yet. And it’s admirable cuz that’s something everyone needs from time to time. She’s his North Star that’s capable of both guiding him where to go and also when to stop 👌🏽

In saying that she’s stopping him it’s her saying; I see you’re losing it and I know what that’s like, so I need to stop you before you head off and push this further down and make this harder to come back from. 

Honestly, Michonne for president of this TWD universe cuz she really does have the most wisdom and balance. 👸🏾🙌🏾

She knows how to lay down the law in the most loving and compassionate way possible and she’s selfless and puts others first which is something so few characters do on this show lately.

She then reminds Rick of something very important when she tells him, “Carl wrote that because he wanted you to read it”😭

It seems straightforward enough that he wrote it to be read, but this is actually really significant because it’s shifting the perspective for Rick. He hasn’t been able to read the letter for himself but this is showing him if he can’t read the letter for himself, then he should read it for Carl. She’s helping him to see that this is how they honor and respect him and let him live on.

Michonne passionately tells him, “It’s one of the last things he ever did.” 😭😭😭

It’s heartbreaking and true. Carl had a few precious hours left of his life and he used that time to write these letters so clearly it was super important to him. So they can’t shut it out cuz they can’t let Carl’s last day and decisions be in vain.

I love that Michonne fought for Carl as he lived and we’re seeing that even now as he’s no longer with them, she’s still fighting for him and making sure his voice is heard.

And Michonne looks at Rick with such a loving intensity because this is not big bad Rick to her, this is a man who needs his rock and she is 100% his rock.

Idk what was in Michonne’s letter (but I better know eventually, I’m just saying lol) but whatever it is, she clearly feels Carl’s spirit with her and is deriving a lot of strength from him. 

It makes me feel like Carl might’ve expressed to her in the letter how crucial she is to helping, not just Rick, but everyone see the light. 💯 And it’s giving her motivation amongst her pain. 😌

Rick’s teary eyed face as he lets those words hit him, just really hits my heart because he’s letting it sink in. 😭 Only she could get him to let that sink in. And he looks at her cuz, as much as it hurts, he sees that she’s right.

And in all the pain, it seems there’s this moment of clarity where he realizes not just that Carl’s really gone, but that Carl still has one more thing for him and he knows it’s going to require a lot of strength for him to receive it, especially cuz it’ll be the last thing he ever hears from his son. 😢

You can tell, even before they cut to it, that as Michonne is talking to him she’s holding his hand. And I love this closeness between them. 😊

She knows how immensely hard this is for him so while she’s rightfully challenging him to not run from the crucial healing process, she’s also connecting with him and taking his hand and communicating that he doesn’t have to do this alone. She’s suggesting this for his own good and to ease the pain, not increase the pain. 👌🏽

Another thing I love about this scene is that not once does it feel like the two are annoyed or frustrated with each other. They’re in different head spaces but there is still this love and respect and passion that’s so evident between them. 🙏🏽

So then you already know that I love that she tells Rick, “You’re staying.” Wifey vibes all day. 😋🙌🏾

And y’all, that wasn’t a request or a suggestion. That was a point blank period statement. And I’m here for it cuz it really does feel like a husband and wife moment.

In saying that he’s staying, she’s essentially telling him…

And I just gotta reiterate how again, it’s not said demanding or controlling but in a way that’s genuinely loving and sincere. Rick doesn’t know what’s best for him right now, but his other half does so she makes the call cuz Sis is his leader.

She knows he needs this and she knows she’s his wife so she can tell him he’s staying here, and (at least for a little bit) he’ll listen.

I really appreciate that this is all done out of love and this show could actually use more characters stepping in like she did and making the final call for others when they’re unhinged and at risk to themselves and others.

I love that the next wider shot is her gently holding his arm and taking the murder coat. Symbolism on ten. She’s taking the killer crazy in him and telling him to let that go to embrace the healthier approach of coping rather than killing. 💯

And sure enough, Homeboy lets her take the coat. ☺️He knows she’s right about this, it’s just a matter of being ready to embrace it.

The way Rick stays looking down and just doesn’t even know how to regroup is so telling of how understandably disoriented he is inside. And it’s clear there’s this internal conflict within him of acting on impulse or doing what’s right and following his woman’s lead.

So then Michonne walks out of the room and I was like Sis please stay cuz I think Homeboy needs some supervision right now lol. 😂 (and it ended up being quite true that he did 👀) 

But I appreciate that she looks at him one last time before leaving and her look conveys that she knows this part of the healing process is going to hurt but it’s necessary and he’ll be better because of it.

When she walks out, you can see Rick really start to feel everything and you can tell he just doesn’t want to cry anymore. So far every time we’ve seen him allow himself to come to grips with the loss for even a second it visibly breaks him (and it also emotionally breaks me might I add.)

So he has this emotional moment of breaking down for a split second and then taking a deep breath and going to the drawer and he takes the letter addressed to him. And can I tell y’all how deep this is even tho I know you already know? 😋

It is so deep that he’s able to do this cuz we’re literally seeing him attempt to do the hardest thing in the world for him...because Michonne wants him to. That’s love. 💛

Like y’all Homeboy has been putting his letter off for a minute and it’s been weighing on him, but now that Michonne’s had a heart to heart with him and let the message of honoring Carl’s last wish seep in, it’s given him at least enough strength to open the drawer and hold the letter and consider it and that’s a big deal.

Her words and getting him to focus back on Carl was enough to help him at least muster up the strength to hold the letter.

So as much as he wants to push this away, he can’t because she’s told him what she would want from him and you know he can’t resist giving her what she wants cuz soul mates. 

Michonne expressed wanting him to read it so he’s going to try for her. And that’s what I really appreciate about Rick; he’s always willing to try for Michonne. Every time she’s had a heart to heart with him we’ve seen him come around to her ways because he trusts her that much. 🙌🏾

Rick acknowledged the way Michonne leads him in 7x12, and I love that he’s still letting her do that now. ☺️ 

This time it’s going to take a little more time tho, so he doesn’t read the letter just yet, but it won’t be long before he does in fact come around.

This whole scene was such a loud and clear “I love you” between them, and also illustrated the strength of this couple, that she can have this heart to heart with him and it resonates with him despite everything else.

So I really appreciate this scene because, once again, we got to witness how nothing can change the love and respect Richonne has for each other cuz their love is a powerful thing. 😊🙌🏾👌🏽

gif sources: michonnegrimes gekari carlschandler kendaspntwd

[whateverisbeautiful]

Richonne in Retrospect

#6: The Drive (3x12)

It’s Clear time, y’all. 🙌🏾😊 So this is legit me rn...

“Clear” is such a quality episode in general but it’s especially great for being the original Richonne/Grimes 2.0 episode. And I was so excited to talk about this cuz it’s the episode....and then the season 8 msf happened. 

And so while I’m still excited to talk about this, the mood has low key went from the one above to more like...

Cuz this is the beautiful episode where Grimes 2.0 and the foundation of Richonne took root and so it’s devastating to think that, where this episode was the beginning, part of this family unit is coming to an end. It’s seriously heartbreaking.

But I’m going to try and stick to what I hoped to do which is focus on the positive and remember the good, and there’s a whole lot of good in this episode! 

To date, “Clear” is still one of my favorite episodes of the whole series and as you know there’s tons of gold to discuss. I’m also aware that I’m the girl who was all the way to late to the party with this one lol. So I know so much has already been discussed about this, but hopefully some of my takes on it will still be enjoyable! Or at least will help to reminisce on the happy times cuz now more than ever I think we could use some happiness in regards to this show.

What’s cool is that “Clear” becomes even better once you know that Richonne will one day be a thing and that Richonne was in fact in the works at this time. You OG’s called it. 👏🏽 So let’s talk about this classic OG Richonne episode. 🎉

Real quick tho, I thought I’d mention the end of 3x11, cuz it’s when “Clear” essentially gets set up and the dialogue from Rick feels significant.

So, in the prison, Rick basically tells Daryl and Hershel that if the Governor wants a fight then they’re going to need to get armed and he’s going to go on a run. Daryl volunteers to go but Rick tells him he wants him to stay and watch Merle. And then he says he’ll take Michonne on the run. 

Y’all, Homeboy knew exactly who he wanted to take with him. Like wanting to go with her wasn’t a spur of the moment decision and I feel like part of it was def his subconscious acting despite the logical reasons he’ll later list as to why he’d bring her.

And then this becomes particularly telling when Daryl asks Rick if he thinks it’s a good idea, and Rick says, “I’ll find out.” And then the very next thing he says is, “And Carl. He’s ready.”

Hearing Rick say this, I was like...

It stood out to me cuz those two things normally wouldn’t go together lol. He essentially said “I’m going to find out if it’s a good idea to be around a stranger and I’m going to take my young son too.” 

But I love this, cuz what it tells me is that Rick def trusted Michonne instinctually. Cuz he’s not about to take his son on his first run with a woman who he is truly suspicious of or fears could be a threat to them. 

Despite only knowing her a short while and thinking she’s “unpredictable”, this moment reveals that he knows deep down she’s safe. It’s so clear that he subconsciously trusts this woman and also wants a chance to get to know her, so he’s taking her on this family trip with him and his son.  

Also I like that in this shot, Rick’s holding the baby and you can see Michonne in the corner and it just feels like foreshadowing that one day Michonne is going to be family. 

And so then “Clear” happens and we really get to see the beginnings of this family, that will one day become the illustrious “Grimes 2.0″. 

So as y’all know, “Clear” opens with Rick, Michonne, and Carl in the car with Michonne driving. (And so begins Richonne and cars 😋) And I remember that seeing Michonne driving did stick out to me, even when I first watched it, cuz again it shows how much Rick trusts her to have her behind the wheel driving him and his son. 

He has his most prized possession with him in that car and he trusts that she can be behind the wheel. Homeboy knows she’s good. 👌🏽 And I love that there’s already this family vibe within the visual of the three of them in the car, right at the start of the episode. 

From this point on, the three of them will only be more and more positioned to look like family. Here for it.

It’s also interesting that as they drive they see the Orange Backpack guy and the three of them establish that they’re all kindred savage spirits when they all silently agree they can’t help this guy. Cut from the same cloth. 💯

(Side note: It’s interesting that in season 8 we see Carl have that orange backpack except now he’s in a position to actually want to help newcomers this time around.)

Another thing that establishes that they’re kindred spirits is all of them being more ticked off than scared when their car gets stuck and surrounded by walkers. In retrospect it’s cute that when Rick says cover your ears, even tho he’s mainly speaking to Carl, they both do it and it just feels like they’re both his family members.

And then, when they’re out of the car, Rick says “This will work” in terms of getting the car started and Michonne says, “Tell me when” and I was like low key these same lines can apply to the day they went canon and realized they were the ones for each other. Like when Rick looked over at her on that couch he knew this will work and Michonne was like tell me when.😊 But in this “Clear” moment it’s also a nice little inkling to the type of partnership they’ll build.

So then Carl is a little on edge as he tries to blame Michonne for the car getting stuck but it’s sweet that Rick defends Michonne saying it was an honest mistake. It’s so clear that Rick sees the good in her and he wants to make things work with her even if he doesn’t fully know it yet.

And then Carl has a little attitude when he asks “Why’d you let her come?”  Watching the earlier seasons, it’s cute seeing how Little Carl really thought he was the boss around here lol. But Carl did ask an understandable question. And the answer to the question is that they’re soul mates, Little Carl.😋

Then, Carl mentions how Rick said Michonne split on them in Woodbury and I’m trying to picture how it would go down that Rick would mention that around Carl. Like how did that come up with his kid? 🤔I feel like this line is a little way to let us know yet again that Michonne got Rick all the way in his feelings for briefly leaving him, to the point where he might even vent about her to his son lol.

But again Rick comes to Michonne’s defense saying it wasn’t that simple. He keeps wanting to give her a chance and paint her in a positive light to Carl. To me, one of the most telling things to come out of this father son conversation is Rick telling Carl, “I didn’t want to leave her at the prison if I wasn’t there.”

All those people who could have protected her from Merle (including her own self) but he felt he needed to be there to look out for her. I’m here for it tho. And this really does provide a glimpse of the beginning of Rick subconsciously wanting to protect her and taking that on as his personal responsibility.

He says he couldn’t leave her with Merle, and also that they have common interests, (yeah in each other, Rick ���). Even now, he knows they have things in common. And soon enough he’ll find that they have even more in common than he thought. It’s sweet to hear him talk about her here, knowing he’s talking about his future wife.  

Rick goes on to say they have the same problems so maybe they can work on them together. That could also have a deeper meaning cuz Rick and Michonne did have similar problems like grieving and seeing lost significant others and, in a way, they do work on them together.

It’s also interesting that they cut to Michonne to imply that she’s overhearing some of this conversation. I think it’s a little tough for her to hear them basically say she’s just around cuz of a common enemy and I think it’s hard to hear cuz it again emphasizes that right now nowhere is fully home for her yet.

Her overhearing Rick and Carl speak about having the same problem could possibly be a big reason why I think she tells Rick she doesn’t have a problem in an upcoming scene. It’s more than just about answering his question in that station, it could also sort of be her referencing this moment right here. 

Cuz they have the same problem but she wants him to know that doesn’t mean she has problems. At least not any problems that should keep her ostracized from the group. 

And I think deep down Rick def knows it’s more than “similar problems” that’s drawing him to her.

Like I feel like the deeper reason Rick wanted Michonne to come along is cuz he wanted a chance to see who she really is but also to give her a chance to see who he really is in a more one-on-one setting. Well, one-on-one and Carl. 😋

Also it’s quite funny in retrospect that we cut to her as Carl essentially asks if they’ll work with her “Just for right now?” and Rick says “Just for right now”. Biggest lie ever. 😂 

Cuz Michonne is not just here to stay, she’s here to become a beloved member of their immediate family. Amen. 🙌🏾😋