#griefsucks griefwriter

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 2,960

Testing the waters of vulnerability. Maybe it wasn’t a hiatus but a hibernation?

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. . . . . . #brokequotes #lifequotes #poetry #griefwriting #itsokthatyourenotok #sadhappysad #griefawareness #grief #grieving #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefislove #griefsupport #sorrow #loss #griefquotes #griefsucks #lifeafterloss #normalizegrief https://www.instagram.com/p/CCTmA1RnSh9/?igshid=1dgojfvzsevxs

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 2,465 - Awareness of hidden grief

Grief is the kind of thing that comes in waves, swelling and receding. It hides within our everyday lives, appearing when least expected. It leaves behind countless sunrises full of hope and late nights that sparkle like Hollywood lights. Some dinners are joyous, encapsulating the feeling of freedom from that ever-oppressive cloud. Our hobbies, routines, work, school, our favorite reality TV…

[theoptimisticwidow]

Reflection & Growth

Reflection and growth

Who do you look to? Throughout life media has exposed me to some the strongest woman a girl could hope to witness. From a very young age I have held Evita Perón in the highest of regard along with characters such as Elfaba, Captain Marval, Mimi, Aida, and my newest Donna Noble. Eva was a poor young girl from middle of nowhere Argentina who dreamt of so much more than marrying a man to take care…

[theoptimisticwidow]

This weekend a family lost a pivotal piece.Opening the ever malicious social media I was greeted by a goodbye post.

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,414 To say I have been silent is incorrect.I speak.Often.Loudly.Just not about me anymore.

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 967 Tomorrow is my birthday…. I will be 31 years old. Much older than I had expected or wanted a decade ago.

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 933 Many times I am quick to say “I don’t know if I understand true love.” Not that I haven’t given and received.

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 909 There are things that pop into one’s mind over and over again. Why? What is the purpose?

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,428

“September Song”- Agnes Obel Please listen to the musical selection while reading to properly experience

In January, I want to say, I started listening to podcasts on my way to work. It began with ones about astrology or tarot. Back then I was constantly seeking. Not sure what I was looking for but that had really been a summary of the previous thirty one years. Find it Jess. That thing you…

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,426

In 2017 I remember being beyond excited to get to moments like this.

Sunday.

Sun rising.

The perfect fluff on the pillows behind me from a night of mushing and flipping them all over.

That early morning stillness draped across the house.

The sound of Ajs little snores. One of my cherished nosies in the world!

In the room at my aunts house I would lay in my giant bed, under my…

[theoptimisticwidow]

Processing out grieving the living 🤷‍♀️

When I start to spiral it is almost always creation that grabs my hand. Without it I would be dragged underneath as I destroyed pretty much everything around me. This one was different. The piano is not me but the lyrics were. As I progressed through the song my anger lessened. I don’t m is this is where I throw my art. Ps. I’m no Celine 😂

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,277

Last night I sat in the rain. Purposefully. Asking Pachamama to heal me. This isolation is so challenging. On so many levels. I feel as though I have taken a trillion steps backwards in a matter of days. When I use to live with my aunt there were so many aspects I struggled to understand. Now that I am growing older it is all starting making sense. So many times I would wonder why she didn’t really date.

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,239

“Every inch of me is trembling But not from the cold Something is familiar Like a dream I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there Like a friend I’ve always known I’m arriving And it feels like I am home

I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets, too But you don’t have to hide”

This idea of perspective has been a recurring theme the past six months or so. It’s…

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,182

“I’ve seen dark before, but not like this This is cold, this is empty, this is numb The life I knew is over, the lights are out Hello, darkness, I’m ready to succumb I follow you around, I always have But you’ve gone to a place I cannot find This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down”

It was around this time the fog lifted. I opened my eyes to a dark room. Reaching over to your side as I did many…

[theoptimisticwidow]

Day 1,162

It’s hard for me to tell you that I’ve been through it too

You’re tryna clean up the mess Sewing together what’s left You said I used to trust so easily I used to fall for anything But under all my boundaries I just didn’t know better I used to have no confidence Uncomfortable in my own skin Deep down, way-way back then I just didn’t know better

– Ivan B (Didn’t know better)

Writing is slowly seeping…