#grians like where did you learn that dialect

[solargeist]

Griande as a vocaloid that sings in enchantments and it sounds cute and upbeat but Grian understands the language and is like what the Hell

[askoverexposedhc]

A Lesson on Getting Mobbed.

✰ Genre: Hurt, comfort, fluff, and all things in-between.

✰ Characters mentioned: Joe, Mumbo, Doc, etcetera (aka all the active Hermits in s6).

✰ Words: 4k.

Mumbo gently pressed his head against the wall of the small glass shelter he had encased himself in. He was about to go idle for a while next to his Witch Farm, which meant he.. wouldn't be sleeping, for a while. A few nights at least. Which.. meant there were to be loads of phantoms inbound. He shrugged at the thought, got comfortable in the shelter, and waited.

A week later…

Mumbo rubbed his eyes as he jolted awake, hair askew, as well as his moustache. He yawned quietly, using his silk touch pickaxe to free himself from the 2x2 area, completely forgetting his stuff in his chest. Still groggy and not thinking, he swooped down to where his storage system was, checking how much drops he got. He didn't have the attention span at the moment to count all of the drops right now, but, he guesstimated that there were quite a few. Coming to his senses; he noticed that he forgot his stuff in the chest!

Effortlessly, he swooped back up to the ground above, grabbed his stuff and once again, came to even more senses! He didn't have his elytra on! Putting on his gear, he started to head to the shopping district in hopes to find somebody, anybody, to get this explained to him. Maybe Joe, or Doc. They seemed like they would know.

Hearing the screeching of phantoms, Doc brought out his trident. He never really liked phantoms; they were a hinder in his travels. Bad things come to people who don't sleep, however. Mumbo, however, was desperately trying his best to shoo the actual phantoms away from him. Exasperated, he tiredly tried to swat them away.

“Shoo, shoo!” He said, eyebrows furrowing as the phantoms refused to leave. Glancing up in the sky, Doc narrowed his eyes. 'Ohoho, the phantom leader came out to tousle tonight?’ He thought, already aiming the trident up in the sky. Hearing the sharp 'schwing!’, feeling the slight pain on his shoulder, and hearing the quick whizzing near his ear, Mumbo stopped trying to get the phantoms away from him and glanced down. Noticing it was Doc, Mumbo hastily tried to get his attention, trying super hard to ignore the blood running down his sleeve from the gash.

Doc let out a huff and his trident flew back into his hand. Green digits gently tapped on the handle, as he let out a quiet hum. What he realized, however, was that his name was getting called. Glancing around, he searched for the source of the voice, finding nothing. Then, he glanced up. In that exact moment, the moon seemed to align right behind Mumbo, and Doc blinked in surprise. Confused, he put his trident him back in his makeshift sling. And Mumbo, finally feeling somewhat relieved, swooped down to the ground below and landed, the phantoms flying away after. He still hadn't taken much mind to the gash. Doc rose an eyebrow.

“So.. it finally happened to you.” Stated Doc, not really.. meaning for that to sound like statement. Mumbo shrugged, crossing his arms after. “I-..I guess so? I didn't really think it'd be a phantom, instead of like - every mob ever.” He said, Doc chuckling a small bit, but then, he noticed Mumbo's gash, and his eyes furrowed. Mumbo tilted his head slightly.

“Yo-.. bro, what happened to your uh.. arm there?” Doc asked, acting like he didn't do it. Mumbo turned his attention to his arm, green eyes widening in surprise. “Oh my word..” He muttered, before Doc took his arm, and started walking him to a place where he could patch up the gash.

----

Joe let out a quiet hum, furrowing his eyes in frustration when the calligraphy pen in his hand skipped a little. “Gosh darnit!” He groaned, putting the book and quill down, so he could mellow himself down a bit. He was currently writing a poem in Enderman language, as that was one of the languages he learned before. What he had so far was;

Purple eyes and towering height,

They spawn only at the crack of night.

Found in every biome that is known,

They call the Overworld, Nether, and End their home.

Although Iskall was with them and knows their dialect,

I can’t help but try to learn it; to gain a new aspect.

But, with their queen, the ender dragon,

I’m trying to learn; what does she imagine?

Even though her language may be different than her subject’s,

I’m still tempted to

And that’s where the poem stopped. For now, at least. Joe let out a sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. He hates how difficult it is to write with claws; they always encased the pen in his grasp, now letting it move around easily. He would try to trim them, but, they were too thick to cut; they would only get scratched. To his surprise, his cat jumped up onto his lap, sat down, and mewed at him.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Joe gave the brown tabby a gentle back pet, smiling as he did such. He had been hesitant to pet her ever since this overexposure came along, fearing he would accidentally hurt her. But, apparently, she wasn't that affected by it. Gently picking up the cat, he put it on the desk, which it stayed there. “Good girl, Athena.. now, stay there please.” He muttered, picking up the quill, dipping it into the ink, and beginning to write again.

Even though her language may be different than her subject’s;

I'm still intrigued to learn it, and not misinterpret.

He sighed in satisfaction, the cat meowing once more. He glanced over to her, tilting her head. She meowed again.

Did you finish it?

She seemed to ask. Joe nodded slightly, glancing at the poem. “Would you like me t’ read it to you?” He asked in return, the cat standing up and meowing again, tail waving slightly.

Yes! She said, waltzing over to the paper.

With a smile on his face, Joe began to read the poem to her. He had gotten halfway through, before Doc rushed into the room, a very pallid Mumbo in tow.

“Joe!” Shouted Doc, the southern man jumping slightly, which made Athena run away. Joe, not looking at the two, packed up his calligraphy stuff. “Hm,” He started, looking over at the two after he got it put away. “What's u-” He cut himself off, as he glanced at Mumbo.

“Ohhhh..” He finished, walking over to the two, not noticing Mumbo's wound yet. “You finally got your exposure?” Joe asked, Mumbo nodding slightly. Then, Joe noticed the gash. Eyes widening, he gently took Mumbo's arm out of Doc's grasp, guiding him over to a chair, allowing him to sit while he grabbed a first aid kit. Doc leaned against the doorframe, aiming to not bother Joe while he patched up Mumbo.

“So.. how did this happen, hm?” He asked, Doc tensing up slightly. “Ah-.. he.. got cut by a shard of glass, and I found h-” Doc started, before Mumbo timidly cut him off.

“Uhm.. Doc thought I was a phantom, and slinged his trident at me - by pure accident!” He added, Joe furrowing his eyebrows. Doc, obviously feeling guilty, cleared his throat.

“Er.. I have to.. jet.. see you two later!” He said, before running out of the base. Joe chuckled at that, shaking his head as he finished wrapping up the wound.

Cutting off the excess bandages, he stepped back from Mumbo a little, crossing his arms. “There y'go, Mumbo Jumbo! Your upper arm might tingle now and then, and it may hurt, but! It’ll heal up!” He said, Mumbo nodding. “An’.. come back here when it needs to be re-bandaged, and if you have any more questions, alright?” He asked, Mumbo nodding once more, getting up afterwards. “Alright! Now, you're good to go! See ya, Mumbo!” He said as Mumbo left the small house. Humming a slight tune, he glanced down at Athena who was by his legs.

“How about let's get back to where we left off, hm?” He said, before picking her up and going back to the desk.

--

Joe let out a quiet yawn as he stretched out his arms, accidentally waking Athena up as a result. She mewed, irritated that she got woken up. Joe gently scratched her head with a claw, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. Squinting his eyes at the clock on the wall, he tilted his head slightly. Then, he realized something.. there was a letter on his desk. Puzzled, he opened it. 'Why would one of them give me a letter when they could've just-..’ He stopped, cutting himself off before he got too deep in thought. He opened the letter with a claw. Inside it, read;

Joe;

   Ren accidentally mistook me for an actual Vex. Apparently I'm that tiny? Anyway he got my stomach slightly, but I came here, noticed you were asleep, and patched it myself.

                          See ya when you wake. - Cub.

           Putting the letter down and putting his head in his hands, Joe let out a groan of frustration which caused the nearby plants to wilt and wither away, and the room to gain a somewhat dark aura. Grabbing his calligraphy pen, and some paper, Joe scrawled something down and copied it to 11 other pieces of paper. Hastily putting on his satchel and putting the papers in it, along with a dropper, a hopper, a pressure plate, and a few regeneration potions, he headed out the door to deliver the letters. Plants and foliage withered when he walked right past him, and he picked up every now-black Rose he saw. Animals scurried away from him, as he walked past.

All hermit meeting. Noon. Sharp. Be there.

Once he delivered the letters, he made his way back to the Ministry of Truth. Oh, had it been dso long since he'd been there.. but, he couldn't dwell on memories. Not now, at least. He dropped down into the Musical ThreatER, setting up chairs in a room that would contain the other Hermits for however long it would take them. Second, he filled a dispenser with regeneration potions at the entrance, which would make it so they would have the effect. Right after he finished putting the pressure plate on the dropper, the first two Hermits arrived; Mumbo and Grian, the two winged troublemakers. Very shortly after followed Iskall. 'Seems like the Architechs came together,’ He thought as he went over to his chair, waiting for the other Hermits to get there.

Sooner rather than later, most of the other hermits were in there, waiting for this.. meeting to start.

In a perpetual state of degeneration, and regeneration..

It hurt.

Joe was unhappy, and they could tell.

Long, sharp claws tapped on the podium as Joe sighed. The room was quiet, still. Joe glanced towards the doorway as the last tw-.. one, walked in. It was Xisuma, and just Xisuma. Without saying a word, he sat down in one of the open chairs. ‘Poor Evil ‘issuma..’ thought Joe, pushing himself off of the podium. ‘If only Xisuma hadn’t banished ‘im’.’ He finished his thought, clearing his throat afterwards.

“Good afternoon, fellow Hermits!” He started, the others still quiet. “I’m a-holdin’ this meetin’, because.. within the last few days, I’ve had two instances where Hermits hurt fellow hermits,” He paused, glancing towards Doc, and Ren, then Cub and Mumbo. “I’m sure y’all know who y’are.” He finished, as Ren’s ears flattened, and Doc sunk down in his chair.

“BUT! It seems like y’guys need to know what mobs your fellow Hermits were exposed to!” He said, the others nodding and murmuring in agreement. “For some, it may be obvious, but for others, it may not. So, with this, let’s all name off the creatures we were overexposed to! I’ll start. I, Joe Hills, was overexposed to withers!” He sat down after, glancing at Xisuma slightly.

Doc said that he had always been exposed to creepers,

Ren said that he always exposed himself to dogs and wolves,

Scar said that he always got exposed to cats,

Stress said that she had exposed herself to polar bears,

Grian had gotten exposed to parrots,

Mumbo had gotten exposed to phantoms, from being AFK a lot,

Iskall got exposed to Endermen, from all the end busting,

False had gotten exposed to nothing yet,

Xisuma got exposed to turtles,

Biffa got exposed to elder guardians,

Cleo got exposed to drowned,

Etho got exposed to cave spiders

Cub got exposed to the Vex,

TFC got exposed to silverfish,

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Once the meeting got done, Joe let the other leave whichever way they liked, in which they didn't step on the pressure plate dispenser at the entrance. Tired, groggy, although a little less irritated, he honestly didn't think much of it. Well, he didn't, until he stepped on it on his way out. Getting splashed with the Regeneration II potion, he nearly doubled over in pain.

Backing up against one of the pillars of the building, Joe was trying to ignore the pain. It felt like getting stabbed with 100 serrated knives, getting them taken out, then that going on for at least 16 minutes. It was far too familiar, and he hated it. But before the 16 minutes of agony was over, a message displayed on the screen.

>joehillssays felt hurt and comfort simultaneously.

The world was quiet.

Joe rubbed his eyes as he glanced around in the space, not seeing anything around him. Everything was blank, everything was noiseless, everything was v̝͉̊ơ̴̠̦̮ͬi̞͙̪̗ͫ̑͞ḑ̴̜̻͍͗̃̃͗̌͗̌.͖̟̤̳̬̇̍̈́ͮͣ̎̀ ̶̗̙̈́ͯͧ̾̑̓ͅ. Nonetheless, he walked forward, although his heart was racing and his instincts were telling him don't go. You'll get trapped again. But he went.

 After a while, he ran into a reflection of himself, that wasn't all that convincing. He reached out a claw to get the other’s attention, but the other spoke before he could. “Greetings, Joe!” said He, the clawed one taking a cautious step back. But he didn't say a word. He waved, however, taking note of the other’s unnerving and seemingly permanent smile. In all honesty, it made his stomach churn slightly; did he fall into uncanny valley?

“You're wondering who I am, hm? Well.. that doesn't really matter to you, does it?” He asked, the clawed one shaking his head. He didn't dare speak; just in case he wasn't supposed to. “But, just to unnerve you and ease yer head, I'll answer it for ya,” He paused, glancing slightly at the clawed Joe in front of him, who had now started awkwardly wringing his hands.

“I'm you, but also not you,” Said the mirrored Joe, pausing and knitting his eyebrows. “Does that make sense? Hm.. let me put it this way; there's about..” He paused once more, counting on his fingers. “Five other Joes out there, including me and you. There's me, you, your opposite, your elemental, and the original one. It's a.. little bit hard to explain, but you'll find out.” He said, the possessed one, smile widening again. “Well, it's about time you got back to your own world, Joe! By the way it looks, False has a question for you, and they miss you!” The withered Joe was quiet, and then the mirrored one clapped his hands, and the.. 'dream’ ended.

~

He woke up in his bed, puzzled, to say the least. He subconsciously clawed the covers, glancing at his surroundings. He was at his small seaside home; right next to the Ministry of Truth. Letting out a sigh of relief, he stopped kneading the covers, and got out of bed. Before he did anything after that, he went to go clear the dispenser of any and all health potions, and removed it. He didn't want to have that occurrence again, heck, he didn't even want to think about it! Once he put the original chunk of concrete back in its place, he recreated back into his abode.

Not too much longer after, there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” He shouted, putting Athena’s food bowl down after he had filled it. He walked into the main room, somewhat surprised to see False. He tilted his head, glancing at it. “Oh-.. howdy, False! Can I get somethin’ for you?” He asked, as the blonde glanced to the side.

“Ah-.. yeah, actually; I have a question,” She paused, as Joe nodded. “So.. y'know how I’m the only one who hasn't gotten mobbed yet? Well-.. after some careful thinking, I've made a decision.” She stopped, wringing her hands nervously behind her back. “Well, which mob is it, False?” Joe asked, and False cleared her throat before she spoke again.

“I want to be exposed to the Ender Dragon.” She said, and Joe's eyes widened. It was such a simple statement, but yet, he blinked in surprise. “If you don't think I'm serious, Joe, I am. I mean, like—.. you got mobbed by Withers, Biffa got mobbed by Elder Guardians, and In just figured; why not have all three of the bosses!” False explained, grinning in both excitement and bravery.

“False, I-..” Joe paused, thinking of what to say. “..right. And.. I'm assuming you want me go help you n’ such? Because, False, this is very dangerous. We'd have to re-spawn her, and to get you exposed to her without her killing you? That could be impossible. I don't have her language known yet, but..” He paused, pacing around without even noticing it. He chewed thoughtfully on one of his claws, before he came to a decision. “Give me a few days, alright? Then we can start it.” He finished, as False squealed in excitement, and hugged Joe in the process. Stumbling back a tiny bit, Joe hugged back and pat her back gently.

“Thank you, Joe, thank you!” She exclaimed, releasing herself from the hug, before starting to head out the door already. “I’ll go get the End Crystals to re-spawn her!” She said, before running off. Joe let out a quiet sigh, running a hand through his hair. He was really going to do this, huh? Well, anyway, it was best of him to go and crack down on learning the dragon’s language, for he would need it for this endeavor.

About a week later, pretty much just what he promised False, the two were ready. Joe had stayed up every night, learning the Ender Dragon’s dialect and language. He had it down packed, and he felt like they could do it. Walking into the stronghold, False hummed quietly. She had full diamond armor on, just in case things got messy, her sword, a trident, and a shulker box to put all her stuff in if needed. Glancing at Joe, she noticed that he had no armor on. “Are you.. not going to have armor?” False asked, and Joe shook his head.

“Nah. Lost it within the first day of the Wither fight, and I didn’t bother to ask anybody for some.. If I die again; then I die again. That’s that.” said he. False opened her mouth to speak again, but she decided against it. “Well.. let’s get to it, shall we?” Joe commented, but, he didn’t get to finish before False hopped into the portal. He followed close after, feeling a slight sense of uneasiness when he arrived in the realm.

“False, slow down!” He yelled after her, quickly running out onto the island after her. She was already at the spawning platform, and she was well too eager to get this done. Finally catching up to her, Joe was out of breath. He leaned against one of the pillars that was already there, catching his breath.

“O-..okay, False, could you hand me the End Crystals, and back up quite a bit, please?” Joe asked, holding out his hand for the crystals. Without hesitation, she gave the crystals to Joe and back up quite a bit. She understood his precautions; the Ender Dragon would be full of rage when she respawned, and if his.. calming methods didn’t work, both of them would be in trouble. She cleared her throat, excited yet, but still somewhat anxious.

Placing the fourth end crystal down, Joe’s hands were somewhat shaky. Swallowing the dry lump in his throat, he stepped away from the structure, clutching his language book to his chest. As the dragon materialized in the sky, Joe’s steady breathing hitched a bit, as his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. Millions of thoughts went through his head at that moment, but, the main sentence that was repeating in his head was;

Who’s the man that can conquer death? That’s Joe Hills.

Once the dragon materialized in the air, she let out a loud roar. Although the End was in the void, the wind seemed to howl, blowing False’s and Joe’s heads of hair all around. Taking a step forward, Joe cleared his throat. The massive dragon looked down in his direction, with a stare that could kill. Shakily opening the language book, he flipped through the different pages. Dolphin echolocation, ocelots and cats, wolves and dogs, creepers, zombies, spiders, endermen.. Ah! There it is, the Ender Dragon page. Looking back up at the dragon ruler, he started to speak.

He spoke what he had written down, fearfully hoping that his translations were correct. “Your Highness; we come in peace. I apologise if peace is not what you want; considering you’ve died many times. But I, Joe Hills, come here with my friend False, who wishes to become like you, in a way. As you can see, I share some traits with the boss of the Nether, the Wither. False wishes to do the same. I hope that you can find it in your dragoness heart to let this happen.” He finished, swallowing yet another dry lump in his throat.

The atmosphere seemed to calm down, the dragon’s eyes softening, and her wings came to a slow as she flew over to the ground and landed, the wings folding onto her back after. Glancing back at False, Joe grinned. Excitedly, False ran over, slowing down when she got close. Cautiously, she reached out an arm to the dragon and gently rubbed it against her muzzle. To her and Joe’s surprise, the dragon didn’t reject it, no, she purred very quietly. Looking at False, Joe smiled slightly, and she smiled in return.

“Ah.. I’ll just leave y’two here, for a bit, hm?” Joe questioned, and False nodded. Putting his language book in his satchel, he went towards the portal and hopped in, going back to the Overworld. Escaping the Stronghold through the soul sand bubble column, he unfolded his elytra and started to head home, using a rocket to take off. All the while, he put a message in the chat.

>@joehillssays;

Don’t go to the End and kill the Enderdragon until False is back, y’all. She finally chose her mob!

And that’s all he put.

The next week, False had returned from the End, and the first person she visited was Joe. He wasn’t necessarily expecting somebody at his door, to be honest, but was he complaining? Not at all. A few moments after False knocked, Joe opened the door, and it wasn’t that much of a surprise, but she had definitely gained an appearance. Sapphire blue eyes had turned into deep violet ones, she had black patches on her skin, like Joe had, and the two biggest things? She had massive wings that folded up against her back, and a tail that seemed to curl at the end. Joe gasped at the sight of her, both in excitement and surprise. False grinned, and when she grinned, it was apparent that she had gained some fangs. In addition to the wings and tail, she had also gained some horns. They curled at the end, but only into a tiny swirl. Before False could start telling Joe how interesting and surprisingly comforting the dragon was, Joe sent out the message in the chat.

>@joehillssays;

False is back, y’all! Feel free to conquer the Ender Dragon once more.

He sent, and then the two chatted for a while. Then, when the conversation was all said and done, False went to go tell the others. Joe sighed.

It had been a long day.

>joehillssays went to bed. Sweet dreams!