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PinocchioP- Non-Breath Oblige (ノンブレス・オブリージュ) English Lyrics

世界中のすべての人間に好かれるなんて気持ち悪いよ　

だけど一つになれない教室で　君と二人　手を繋いでいたいの　

数の暴力に白旗をあげて　悪感情を殺してハイチーズ

ポストトゥルースの甘いディープキス　エロく歪んでるラブアンドピース

自己中の光線銃　乱射する　強者のナンセンス　　　　　　　　

オートクチュールで作る　殺しのライセンス

分断を生んじゃった椅子取りゲーム　無痛分娩で授かるベイブ

壮大な内輪ノリを歴史と呼ぶ

生きたいが死ねと言われ　死にたいが生きろと言われ　

幸せ自慢はダメ？　不幸嘆いてもダメ？

図々しい言葉を避け　明るい未来のため

さんはい　「この世には息もできない人が沢山いるんですよ」

さんはい　「この世には息もできない人が沢山いるん��すよ」

あちらが立てば　こちらが立たず　譲り　奪い　守り　行き違い

地雷原で立ち止まり　大人しく犬になるんだワン

It feels kinda gross being loved by people the world over

But I wanna keep holding hands, split, in this classroom, alone, together

Waving white flags at the tyranny of the majority, shouting “Hey! Say cheese!” to kill animosity

We receive the sweet, passionate kiss of post truth. Love and peace erotically warp in our views

The raygun of self-worship fires indiscriminately. The strong continue to act nonsensically

Haute couture makes licenses to kill selfishly

Musical chairs, a division bearing game. Epidurals and life painlessly granted to babes

History, a grand inside joke, one that we named

Those who want to live are told to die. Those who want to die are told to live.

Are we not allowed to be proud of our happiness? Are we not allowed to grieve over our sadness?

We avoid brazen words for the sake of our bright futures

Now sing! “There’s so many people in this world who can’t even breathe.”

If one side stands, the other side falls, yielding, stealing, protecting, clashing

Frozen in a minefield, I’ll just be a good boy and wag my tail

ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス・オブリージュ　

I love you　息苦しい日々の水面下　ゆらゆらと煙る血の花

ぼくらは　コンプレックス　コンプレックス　コンプレックス　　

コンプレックスを武器に争う　

それぞれの都合と自由のため

息を止めることを強制する　　

Non-breath non-breath non-breath non-breath oblige

I love you. Below the surface of these stifling days, a bloody flower smokes and sways

Our complexes, complexes, complexes,

Complexes are turned into weapons we fight with

To accommodate all circumstances and insure everybody’s freedoms

We’re enforced to hold our breath

息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる

息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる

Itssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocating

Itssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocating

生きたいが死ねと言われ　死にたいが生きろと言われ

正当防衛と言ってチェーンソーを振り回す　まともな人たちが怖いよ

愛燦燦　春爛漫　日々だんだん大事なものが消えていくよ

さんはい　「この世には愛も知らない人が沢山いるんですよ」

共感　羨望　嫉妬　逆恨み　黒い涙がこぼれ落ち

醜い感情が吹き出し　真っ白い鳥になるんだな

Those who want to live are told to die. Those who want to die are told to live.

I’m scared of the sane people who wave around chainsaws in the name of self-defense

Love’s glimmer and gleam, the blossoming of spring, slowly and surely, we’re losing the important things

Now sing! “There’s so many people in this world who don’t even know what love is.”

Empathy, envy, jealousy, pettily resenting others for your own lies, it makes black tears stream from my eyes,

My ugly feelings start to arise, and transform into songbirds white as snow

ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス・オブリージュ　

I love you 深海魚と泳ぐ氷点下　見上げている　ザラメの星

ぼくらは　直接　直接　直接　直接　手を下さないまま

想像力を奪う液晶越しに　息の根を止めて安心する

ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス・オブリージュ　

I love you　それぞれの都合と自由のため

息を止めることを強制する

Non-breath non-breath non-breath non-breath oblige

I love you. Below freezing temperatures, I swim with deep-sea fish and look up at granulated stars

We still don’t directly, directly, directly, directly involve ourselves

On the other side of our imagination-stealing LCDs, we choke ourselves to feel at peace

Non-breath non-breath non-breath non-breath oblige

I love you. To accommodate all circumstances and insure everybody’s freedoms

We’re enforced to hold our breath

息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる

息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる息が詰まる

息を止める息を止める息を止める息を止める

息を止める息を止める息を止める

Itssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocating

Itssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocatingitssuffocating

Holdyourbreathholdyourbreathholdyourbreathholdyourbreath

Holdyourbreathholdyourbreathholdyourbreath

ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス　ノンブレス・オブリージュ　

I love you　それぞれの好きを守るため

君と防空壕で呼吸する

Non-breath non-breath non-breath non-breath oblige

I love you. To accommodate all our likes and insure their protection,

In this bomb shelter, I breath with you

#pinocchioP #vocaloid #translations #is there I reason I needed to translate this?#not really #I just like this song and wanted to practice lol #p sure everyone is familiar with the official translation so I feel like I have an excuse to use this for practice #went pretty ham on it though ngl

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fightxxmexxshiggy · 4 years ago

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🥟📎 awww you're too sweet!!!!! I'm glad you like my ideas so much even though they just ramble on and on.

But, as long as you're enjoying, I'll add on cause I'm slightly overflowing with them at the moment (adhd brains. 0 or 100. Very very little I between.)

So imagine how helpless Kiri Bakugo would feel while their partner is pregnant and then when they go into labor. Like, over all there isn't that much they can do. Yes throught everything they can help her stay comfy and what not but got how they wish they could just take on some of the bad stuff.

And lord help them if they start googling different labor complications. Like no matter how unlikely, the stats say they are the guys are gonna high key Low key be terrified. They learned not to tell you after you turned into a sobbing mess when they brought up one and you made them have the of it's between me or the baby convo (how that went is up to you). Like they may be terrified but they don't wanna relive that night.

Then I see two hilarious labor scenarios. granted there are infinite. But I'll pluck out these two.

A) You go into labor relatively normally. Get to the hospital get settled, or at least as settled as you can when you're gonna have a person come out of you. The guys are on edge. Like the hospital had to send in their strictest, toughest old guard nurse to put the fear of god into them so they'd stop acting like chickens with their heads cut off. I personally headcanon it as a labor with no epidural for personal reasons but like reader insert man. Regardless of pain meds or not, Kiri is gonna say you're super manly™️. He'll even harden his hand so you don't have to worry about breaking (not that you would frankly care at this point) but it's handy 😏. And then you get to pushing a both pro heros who have seen plenty of blood and gore nearly faint. Still can't decide who/how they decide which oen gets to cut the cord but I feel like it's the one time Bakugo knows better than to make it a competition, cause he and Kiri just wanna keep watching you smile down at the (kinda gross covered in goo) beautiful, perfect infant on your chest. Time passes, the three of you are left alone to bond. Eventually you begin to nod and off and Kiri says he's gonna take the baby to the waiting room to meet the squad/families. While neither guy likes being separated from either you or the baby this is once again where two husband's comes in handy cause at least both mom and baby are protected. Que some time later you perk back up, Bakugo is in a chair his head on the hospital bed alseep. You get his attention

"Katsuki, where's the baby?"

"With Kiri, remember?"

"yea, but he's been gone a long time. I think. ...." You can't be certain. After the day you've had time means very little to you at the moment. So Bakugou (reluctantly) leaves you to go find shitty hair. (Now this next bit is straight from a reddit thread but it was so damn cute and sounded just like Kiri!) So turns out, the Bakusquad and families left a bit ago, saying they'd be back when you were feeling better. But Kiri is a Proud Dad™️ so he just had to show off his baby. So he has just been walking around the hospital, being like 'look at my kid! My wife made her! They're both amazing! My wife made a person! Ignoring that you didn't quite make it on your own but you did the lions share of the work so let's not nit pick. Bakugou wants to be made at him but between the lack of sleep, and feeling the same fucking way and just being too emotionally constipated to say it to anyone besides his partners he just sighs.

"Shitty hair, you're worrying Y/N. Bring the baby back."

And they wander back and you're a nice happy little family. And sitting there holding your baby, a guy on either side of the hospital bed is bliss.

"can we have another one?"

Both you and Bakugou turn to the red head, and a brief silence falls over you three. Bakugou is getting ready to tell him off, like the baby is less than 6hrs old, don't get ahead of yourself dumbass.

But you speak first "yea. I'd like that a lot."

And that is how your first two kids (and probably the majority) were born a little less than a year apart. I just love the headcanon that Kiri wants a school of baby sharks. Like, however many you'll give him he'll have (Bakugou may have an Upper limit). At least those prohero dollars mean money isn't an issue. I also just love love love Kiri as a girl dad! He does tea parties, lets them paint his nails, learns to braid their hair and dances with them where they stand on his feet! Bakugou will also do all of these things but some of them may take a set of puppy dog eyes to get him to do. Also I know it seems misplaced but I don't wanna forget to put it in here. Itd be hilarious if when you struggle to find maternity clothes you like, one way or another Red Riot and Ground Zero both suddenly launch maternity merch lines!!!!!! And not just stuff with their logos/names like cute shit. Maybe you get to help design it.

B) this should be quicker. So imagine, youre at home. The guys have started paternity leave because youre 38wks. The ask why your face is scrunching up every once in awhile. You say and think it's braxton hicks contractions. You take a nap. Turns out. It's the real deal. You wake you guys up, they go into panic mode. You head towards the door (or even make it to the elevator for full comedic effect) before saying you gotta go back to the apartment, the baby is coming to fast. The guys freak out at first once they're in the apartment again. But they get ahold of a concierge doctor or something (pro hero money man) and between the doctor coaching them and you telling them they better hold it together, it all goes off smoothly and you go to the hospital to get check out and basically ends the same as above.

The baby chaos just made me cackle like a dang evil witch

#bnha simping hours #kirishima x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #pregnant #poly ship

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

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redamancy.

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the moment you’ve all been waiting for...#5 makes an appearance! (thanks to kira @good-heavens-chris-evans for helping me not be a liar and gassing me up so i could post this tonight like i promised xoxo i love you so much) words: 5.56k warnings: descriptions of childbirth (nothing too gross or graphic), swearing, disgustingly sweet family content

summary: “what strange creatures brothers are!” - jane austen. au!august 2022

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist edited: january 9th, 2021

“Hey, Aaron?” You peer around the wall to the bedroom from your place on the master bath toilet. There isn't any urgency to your query, which would later make you both laugh until you can't breathe.

Aaron has a book in his lap and reading glasses resting on his perfect nose, as is usual for bedtime. He turns a page. “Hm?”

“When you get to a good stopping point, can you grab the go bag?”

“Yeah.” He gets up on autopilot, setting his book down. When he reaches the bedroom doorway, he freezes and turns over his shoulder “Wait. Why?”

“Oh, nothing extreme,” you say, your voice light. “My water just broke and I figured we might -“

Your name leaves his mouth in a laugh, and he trots back to you, helping you up and kneeling to assist you with your comfiest pair of pajama pants. You steady yourself with a hand on his shoulder, stepping into one leg, then the other. Playfully, he snaps the stretchy waistband around you. He's still kneeling before you when he says, “You’re insane, you know that?”

You smile down at him and scrub your fingers through his hair. He leans into your touch like a cat and closes his eyes. “You are too, I’d like to point out.”

He sighs, kissing your belly and resting his cheek on it. “Never said I wasn’t.” He looks up at you. “Is it weird that I’m...a little sad? I’ve loved this part of our lives so much.”

You shake your head. “Me too, my love. And no, It isn’t weird.”

He holds your hands as he stands and kisses your forehead.

“We should probably tell Jack it's go time so he can help the little ones when they get up.”

Aaron pauses for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Isaac isn’t going to clearly remember last time, so he’ll probably be nervous, and this is totally new to the girls.” You reach up and he plants a kiss on your lips. You smile, pleased.

A little contraction wave hits, and one side of your face screwed up in discomfort.

Aaron kisses your cheek and says, “I’ll get the rest of the toiletries together.”

You nod, and padded down the hallway, your socked feet swishing a little against the hardwood floors. You knocked twice on Jack’s door, quietly, and waited for his groggy, “Yeah?”

With access granted, you open the door with a little smile, and Jack sits straight up. You cross to his bed and sit down on the edge, opening your arm to him. Though he’s almost seventeen, he scrambled out from under the covers and tucked in close to you.

“Your dad and I are headed to the hospital, and Aunt Jess and Em are on their way okay? If you need anything big, dad has his phone and -“

“Mom, we’ve done this before,” he says with a grin. “I know the drill.”

You push the hair off his forehead and kiss him. “I know it, but it makes me feel better. The little ones haven’t done this before, and they’ll probably be a little nervous. Please help your aunts so they aren’t driven to the drink by your sisters.”

He laughs a little, and surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. “Be safe, mom. I love you.”

Tears prick at your eyes, and you hold him tight. “I love you so much, Jack.”

“Are you scared?”

You press a hand to the back of his head, and he burrows into your neck. “Only a little. I know I’m older, which can make some things difficult, but I’ll always come home to you.”

He nods. “Promise?”

“I promise as much as I can.”

Jack pulls away and swipes quickly at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Hey,” your brow crinkles in lighthearted concern. “What’s gotcha?”

He shakes his head. “It’s stupid”

“I can guarantee you it’s not.” While still a bit of a boy, Jack looks very much a man in the dark, lit only by the light of the hallway as the wheels turn in his head. You pick up one of his hands, and he places your linked fingers over your belly.

“I just - I don’t - Ugh. It’s morbid - Nevermind.”

You huff a laugh. “Baby, remember that one-third of this house hunts serial killers for a living. Nothing is morbid.”

A smile quirks at his lips, but it doesn’t really reach his eyes. “Just be okay? Please?”

You sober and nod, pressing a hand to his cheek. “Jack, do you think I would ever put you or your father into a position that can result in leaving either one of you?”

He shakes his head. “But things happen.”

“They sure do. Your dad will be with me the whole time and he can send you hourly updates if you want. I promise promise promise you’ll be in the loop, baby. I know you like to know.”

Your son’s eyes flicker to the doorway, where a shadow appears. It's Aaron, his backpack on and your go bag in his hand.

“Ready?”

You nod, stand (not without effort), and press another kiss to Jack’s head. “I love you bud. I’ll see you when our plus one arrives.”

The plan is easy: Emily and Jessica are on their way over for the kids, and Dave and Spencer will relieve them after 12 hours. Derek, Savannah, JJ, and Will are only called when the baby arrives, to save them the angst of prematurely wrangling four children between them.

The hospital is only eighteen minutes away, but with the way Aaron drives, it's more like ten.

Time is fairly important - with your body accustomed to delivering babies, having done it twice before, there’s a very big chance active labor would only take a few hours, if that.

Emily and Jess pull up to the house at the same time, both in their pajamas, holding their overnight bags.

“Ready?” Jess asks, kissing your cheek.

You laugh. “Don’t have much of a choice now, do I?”

Emily sets her things down and wordlessly hugs you. You wrap your arms around her as best you can.

“Walk me out?” You ask.

She slings an arm around your shoulders and you walk back out the front door. She situates you in the passenger seat, and you offer her a small smile.

“You know,” she starts with a bit of a laugh, “every single time I’m just as nervous as I was when Henry was born.”

You reach for her hand, and kiss the back of it. “Me too.”

Everything goes according to plan after that. You sit in the car with your stopwatch while Aaron packs the car, checking the car seat base and putting everything that needs to go up with you in the trunk. Jess and Emily get set up on the couches in the living room, ready to settle in for the night.

You're uncomfortable, sure, but it isn't unbearable yet. This is the tedious part.

Miraculously, none of the little ones wake up in the commotion. The magic of white noise machines is never to be underestimated.

“Time?” He calls from where he leans into the back of the car. He's handling the last details, in full field operations mode.

You turn around. “5 minutes, 15 seconds.”

“Alright,” he looks up at you and grins widely. “Let’s go, baby.”

+++

Brienne breezes in and checks your charts and your dilation. “It’s go, time, here I think, Momma.”

You sigh and readjust. “Do I have to lay down?” Comfortable as you are, epidural all finished, you still feel a little restless. The alternative is worse - you’d delivered Isaac without any pain management, and thought it was the end of days. You didn’t, and won’t, make that mistake again.

“Not necessarily, but if you’re going to shuffle around I would suggest a squat for the sake of your blood pressure.”

Another contraction hits, and it knocks the wind out of you. You squeeze Aaron’s hand so hard you fear you’ll break it, and inform him for the third time that morning that you hate his guts.

“I know, honey. I’m sorry. I know. I’m the worst. Just breathe, okay?” He presses his forehead to your temple, giving you something to focus on.

It sounds like you tell him to fuck off, but you aren’t sure. The wave crests and then falls, and you slump back against the pillows. “Okay, maybe I do want to lie down.”

Everyone stifles a chuckle, but you didn't have it in you to be prideful. While you still have a few seconds, you double-check the plan. “Hey Brienne, we’re still good to tie today, right?”

“Yes, ma’am!” she says, way too chipper for the small morning hour. She speaks quickly, knowing she has to finish her thought before your next contraction. “Soon as we’re all done, we’ll do a really quick procedure and everything will be squared away. If, for some reason, we have to do an emergency cesarean, we can do it right then as well.”

Brienne is a great obstetrician - she never pulls punches when the news is difficult or stressful. Her straightforward nature immediately endeared her to your whole family.

It's too much to think about, seeing as another contraction sneaks up on you as you ponder. It felt like only seconds since the last one.

You're so tired.

Brienne gestures to Aaron. They developed a bit of a language over the last two deliveries, and he presses a kiss to your temple. “You gotta push, babe.”

“God, Fuck. I hate you, Aaron. Goddamn you. I’m never letting you near me ever again. Fuck.” A stream of expletives continues to leave you as you push and push and push.

He only holds your hand and reminds you to breathe and push. He also tells you how much he loves you in between agreeing with your damning assessments.

If he's honest, he always thinks your ire during childbirth is hilarious. It is kind of his fault, and he can't fathom the physical trauma, so he figures this is a fair role to fill while you do the hard work.

On a small trough in your final set of contractions, you catch your breath enough to ask for his other hand. This is the hardest part, and it always makes you a little nervous.

“Aaron, come here. Please.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders, and you grab his hand where it hangs by your collarbone.

“You’re almost there, darlin’! We’re gonna be crowning here in a second.” You can't see Brienne, totally locked into her task, but her update is a relief.

You lean heavily into Aaron and he rests his cheek against yours. While this is a shorter labor than both Isaac and the girls’, you're exhausted. Bone-deep tired and hot and cold all at once.

“You’re doing so well. You’re a superhero. I love you so much.” He whispers his words against you, and you wail as another contraction hit. Your choice of a walking epidural doesn’t knock the pain out entirely, and it still totally sucks. But again, better than the alternative.

“We’ve got a little Hotchner head! Keep going!” Brienne pats your knee and grins at you, and you follow instructions. “Do you want to catch, Dad?”

Before he can answer, you tell him, “If you move, I’ll kill you,” through your teeth. Aaron shrugs and looks over your head at Brienne, who suppresses a smile.

There can't be any blood left in Aaron’s upper extremities at this point. In the midst of actively disliking him and your presence in your life in that particular moment, you're so grateful for him you could cry.

Well, you could cry for a great number of reasons, but that’s definitely one of them.

A few minutes and a pretty bad time later, a strong cry fills the room and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Aaron releases you as you unbutton your gown to expose your chest.

“Your time to shine, Aaron.” Brienne holds up the umbilical cord clamp and snaps it together twice like a dad at a barbecue. With a smile, he stands and rounds the bed.

You tried to peer over to see, but you're only able to see Aaron and Brienne.

A smile eats up his whole face.

“Hi!” His voice pitches up, and you start to cry.

You just love him so much your chest could just burst. Aaron is always the first person to greet your children as they come into the world, and he never fails to deliver a warm welcome.

“Right here, right?” He looks to Brienne, and she nods. He cuts the cord, and the nurse crosses the room for measurements.

Aaron returns to you and removes his own shirt, ready to take the little one while you finish delivery. After his crew neck is thrown to the side, he gathers you up in his arms again.

There’s nothing you can do but melt into him. His skin is warm and he smells good, whereas your skin felt clammy and you probably smell like a horse’s ass.

Brienne’s voice comes to you faintly from the other side of the room, iterating the specs of the newest addition. “Baby Boy Hotchner, 5:37am, August 13th, 8 pounds, 14 ounces, 21 inches.”

Okay I'm not crazy. He’s actually huge.

Aaron scoots even closer as you lean away to get a better look. Brienne sets the still-squalling infant on your chest with gentle, warm hands. Your eyes blur with tears. Aaron isn't any better off, keeping one hand on you and another on your son, his own tears tracking quietly down his cheeks.

Your son.

Brienne sighs and says, “Alright, last bit here, and then you’re done.”

You nod and Aaron takes him off your chest, leaning back with one hand under him and one hand over him. Fluid and other questionable grossness be damned, he ducks his head and presses his cheek to his son’s head, an ineffable joy radiating through his body.

Aaron’s hands almost completely cover him - with his little knees tucked to his chest, he looks like an angry little loaf of bread.

The afterbirth is the easy part, but then it was before, too. All the Hotchner kids are massive - even the girls were bigger for twins.

You always make fun of Aaron for “ripping me to shreds, and not in a fun way.”

(Okay, fine. Maybe a little in a fun way. Sometimes.)

There’s a little more pressure, and you look down at Brienne’s outline behind that infernal green medical paper shit. “How’s it going down there?”

“I’m getting these suckers tied off so we don’t have any more happy accidents. Don’t mind me.”

Aaron stifles a laugh and you roll your eyes, still weepy. The nurse passes him a warm, wet washcloth, and he begins to wipe the ick from his son’s skin.

Brienne finishes up and helps you get adjusted with ice packs and that excellent postpartum underwear. When she's satisfied, she removes her gloves and presses a hand to your bare shoulder. “Beautiful work, momma. He’s perfect.”

You put a shaky hand over hers. “Thanks.” A little watery laugh leaves you. Ouch. “I’ll miss you.”

And it's true. Brienne has been a semi-permanent fixture in your life for close to six years and has become a friend. You wouldn’t have any reason to see her again outside of regular check-ups.

She squeezes your shoulder twice. “You ever need anything, you know who to call. Let someone know when you’re ready to put his name down, and they’ll finish off the birth certificate.”

With that, she shepherds the nurse out the door, and you're alone with Aaron.

“So,” you say.

He smiles, his eyes still trained on the little body who has quickly quieted and is snoozing on his chest. “So?”

“Gimme that.”

His laugh is warm, and he places little one on your chest again. You prod him awake, feeling only a touch bad about it, and offer him a snack. He latches right away, and you tip your head back in sheer relief.

“Thank God.”

Aaron nods in agreement. “That’s one less thing to worry about.” He shakes his head as if shaking something off - no doubt remembering the meltdowns night after night trying to nurse Isaac.

Little one is still naked to the world, so you point at the little blue blanket folded across the room. “Can you grab that for me?”

Aaron just looks at you for a second, as if seeing you for the first time. “Of course.”

He crosses the room, throws the blanket over his shoulder, and grabs a diaper. While the little one is distracted, he deftly maneuvers the diaper into place and drapes the blanket over him to keep the chill off while maintaining skin-to-skin.

You pull the blanket back a little so you can see his squishy little face. “Can you call Jack?”

“Do we want to call him now? It’s pretty early.” Aaron leans over to his backpack and pulls his phone out, finding a couple requests for updates from Jess. First things first, he turns the camera on you, and you give him a thumbs up. You detach the little one from your nipple for a second, framing his face with the blanket. Aaron gets a good photo of a yawn and fires both pictures off to the BAU group chat before checking Jess’s messages.

4:12am How we doin? 4:18am Jack’s up with me. He can’t sleep. Em is dead to the world - she gave up about an hour ago. Give us an update when you can.

6:02am He’s adorable!!! He’s got your nose though, which is unfortunate. 6:02am Kidding. Maybe.

Aaron laughs a little, and he looks at you. “He’s up with Jess.”

You nod. “Go ahead and call him. He’ll worry, honey.”

He nods, and dials the second number on his speed dial. Jack picks up on the first ring. “Dad?”

“Hey, bud.” Aaron can't hide the smile in his voice. “Your brother is here and your mom wants to talk to you.”

“Can I come see you?” Jack’s voice wavers a little, and Aaron knows it's relief, rather than anxiety. Much like his son, he was more than a little concerned for your safety. Now that it's over, he can finally relax.

That alone is enough to make anyone emotional.

Aaron checks his watch. “Are you too tired to drive?”

“No, no. I’m good. I slept a little after you guys left.” he's quiet for a second. “Can you hand me to mom?”

“Sure, bud.” Aaron nods at you and you smile. He starts to pass the phone over to you then -

“Oh, dad?” Jack’s voice is only a little urgent.

Aaron pulls the phone back to his ear. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, bud. I want to talk to Aunt Jess when you’re done with mom, so don’t hang up, okay?”

With that, he hands you the phone and fresh tears roll down your cheeks. You know this part comes in waves - the emotions. Your hormones are in shambles, and you forget how intense it is every time.

“Hey, Jack.”

“Are you okay how did it go what happened?” All the questions come out in a rush.

You chuckle. Ouch. “Slow down there, kiddo. We’re just fine. It went really smoothly, but the last part happened kind of all at once and I denied your father personal freedom and geographic agency, so we didn’t get a chance to update you.”

He laughs, and it warms you. “It’s okay. I’m really excited to meet him.” There’s a shuffle, and you assume it's his keys.

Baby boy is finished eating, just nosing around your chest at this point. You shift, and Hotch catches the phone and holds it to your ear so you can use two hands, bringing little one’s head right under your collarbone, tucking him up again. “He’s excited to meet you, too.”

After Aaron has a chance to debrief and game-plan with Jess (“If you bring the little ones over here before 10am, nobody will have any fun.”), Jack is on his way.

In the meantime, Aaron sets his phone on the side table and sits on the edge of your bed. “Are we sticking to the name we picked? Does it feel right?”

You nod. “I think so. What do you think?”

You do your best to inch yourself over - Ouch - so Aaron can have a little more space. He stretches out on the bed next to you, on his side with his arm folded under his head. A very large hand covers yours, pulling the blanket down to little one’s chin.

“He looks like you,” he says.

You snort. Ouch. “Don’t lie. All your damn kids look like you.”

“Alright, fine.” He relents with a wide smile. “He looks like me.”

He's quiet for a moment, tracing the apple of little one’s cheek with his finger. His smile morphs into something soft, pensive. It's the look he always has when he's in awe of his children. “What do you think, little man? Is your name Elliot David? How’s that sitting with you?”

The Elliot David in question just makes contented little staccato sounds from his chest, his brown eyes looking here and there, surprisingly alert. He lets out a little cough, and both you and Aaron let out an, “Oh!” simultaneously in that drawn-out way parents do when their kids surprise themselves.

You look at him and stifle a laugh just for the sake of your exhausted muscles. Aaron’s smile soon turns shaky, and tears fall onto his elbow where it rests under his head. He takes a big breath, and it catches on the way out.

“Oh, honey. Come here.”

You adjust again, bringing the head of the bed down with the little remote. As you recline, you only need one hand to keep Elliot secure. You raise your other arm, and Aaron scoots under it, resting his head in the crook of your chest and shoulder. He snaps some buttons on your gown in the absent-minded interest of keeping Jack relatively unscarred.

Aaron’s bare arm is warm under your fingers. You trace little patterns into his skin as he stares at the back of his son’s head. Elliot’s impossibly small hand catches Aaron’s finger in that death grip only babies seem to have.

Aaron doesn’t care he's nearly twenty-four hours without sleep, missing a shirt, and really hungry. The only things that matter in this moment are right here in front of him.

There’s no need to speak.

A nurse stops by and drops off the bedside cradle, speaking quietly. “You can put him in here when you’re ready to get some rest.”

You look up and thank him. “Oh, and we’d like to finish the birth certificate in a few hours. Will that be alright?”

He nods. “Just fine.” He checks your charts and leaves a few moments later.

Soon after, the door slips open, and Jack’s head pops in. “Hi!” He stage-whispers. “Lemme see him.”

Aaron is stuck where he is, still locked in by Elliot’s grip, so Jack crosses to your other side, pulling up a chair as close as he can get it.

There is a sense of finality to this meeting. Elliot is your last child, and this is the last time the Three Musketeers will sit together, meeting the newest member of their family.

“Oh man, Mom. He’s so cute.” Jack coos and ducks so he's eye-level with his baby brother. He traces a finger along Elliot’s tiny, straight nose. When he rests his head on your upper arm, you kiss his head. All three of you sit there until the sun rises, watching Elliot fall asleep. Aaron follows suit eventually, his breath fanning slow and even across your chest.

+++

The three of you are relatively well-rested by the time your family comes to bombard you.

Elliot woke twice in the early morning - once to be fed and the other to be changed. Jack retreated to the recliner after a certain point, and Aaron threw on a sweatshirt and curled up next to you for the duration. They're still out cold, while you rest somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.

One of the nurses on rotation pops her head in. You wave at her with the tips of your fingers.

“Your family is here to see you.”

That wakes you up. You make an ‘eek’ face. “All of them?”

She nods. “Three at a time?”

“Please.” You reach over and pick up a neatly-swaddled Elliot and tuck him into your elbow. You check the corner, where Jack still sleeps. You're sure a train could drive through the room and he’d still be out. That kid has sleeping superpowers - being sixteen only helped.

Jess is first, holding the girls’ hands while Isaac trails a little behind.

You put a finger to your lips and point to Elliot. “He’s sleeping, so you have to be really quiet, okay?”

Caroline clambers up on the bed with a few reminders to “be gentle with Mom and don’t lean on her too much,” and peers over you. “Is Daddy sleeping?”

You look to your right, and sure enough, Aaron is out like a light again, performance evaluations on his chest, his hand relaxed around his pen. “Yeah, baby. Daddy’s sleeping because he's awake for a really long time helping me with Elliot.”

Newly reminded of the main event, Caro plants herself by your knee while Sophia sits by your hip, taking the good real estate. You look over at Jess and wink. She slips out, closing the door softly behind her.

You scoot over so you're flush with Aaron’s side. “Come on up here, bubba.”

Isaac gives you a little smile and perches at your side. “He’s so small.”

“Yep. And look at that,” you brush your fingers down Elliot’s nose and tap his cupid bow before doing the same to Isaac. “You have the same nose.”

Isaac smiles and raises a tentative hand. He hesitates right before he reaches the dark brown peach fuzz that sits in unmanageable cowlicks on Elliot’s head.

“You can touch him, bub. Just be gentle.” Isaac’s hand smooths over Elliot’s head with next-to-no pressure. “Do you remember when Sophia and Caroline were born?”

Isaac nods. “It was super cool.”

“It was super cool.” You kiss his forehead and adjust your hold on Elliot. “Sophia, love, can you hand me the pillow that’s by Daddy’s knee.”

She nods and very carefully presents it to you. You show her how to stuff it under your elbow so you can relax while supporting Elliot’s head. Caro is clearly enamored, her eyes never leaving Elliot’s face.

“Babies are really delicate,” you remind a wiggling Sophia. “Their heads are too heavy for their little necks, so sometimes they need a little help.”

At the mention of ‘help,’ Aaron’s eyes snap open. “What’s up?”

You suppress a laugh as he realizes all of his kids surround him like the children of the corn. He presses a hand to his face, recovering. “Oh. Hi.”

Caro beams at him, and he beams right back. He puts his files down and pats his lap. “Come here, my little love. I’ve got a really good view over here.”

She very mindfully picks her way over your shins and into her father’s lap. He lifts her so she's flush to his chest. His cheek presses into her hair, and he shows her where to find Elliot’s little baby toes under the blanket.

“Are his feet very very small?” Caroline’s whispered question almost makes Aaron cry again.

“Yes. They are very very small. So are his hands. Here, look.”

He reaches over and peels back a layer of blanket, exposing one of Elliot’s (very very) small hands, pressed flat against the fabric. Aaron wiggles his finger under it and presents it to the kids. “If you look really carefully, you all have the same hands.”

All at once, three pairs of hands appear, flipping their palms up and down as each one individually assesses the similarities.

“And if you look even closer,” he says, flipping his palm down, but keeping Elliot’s hand aloft, “I have the same hands as all of you, too.”

Caroline looks up at him, awestruck and he nods. She places her hand on the back of Aaron’s and - lo and behold - they're the same shape, just significantly different sizes.

Satisfied, Sophia drops her hands, leaning on them to get a closer, yet stable, look at Elliot’s fingers.

She gasps, but to her credit, keeps her voice soft as she says, “Look at his tiny little nails!”

“Lemme see!” Aaron supports Caro as she thrusts her body forward to get a better look.

Jack stirs in the corner, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. In full voice, he says, “Oh, hey guys.”

Three big shushes come from the kids, and it takes everything in you to keep your laugh locked away. You keep your eyes trained on Sophia (who looks downright offended at Jack’s volume) knowing if you look at Aaron you’d be done for.

Jack makes the same ‘eek’ face you made earlier. “Sorry, sorry.” He creeps over, standing behind Sophia and putting his hands on her shoulders. She giggles quietly as he drops close to her ear. “Cute, huh?”

She wrinkles her nose. “He looks a little funny.”

“He’ll start to look more like a person in a few weeks,” Aaron says with a smile. “You looked pretty funny the day you're born, maybe even funnier.”

He winks at her, and she dissolves into a fit of giggles again, leaning back against Jack. As she did so, her brother wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head.

Isaac runs his hand over Elliot’s hair, gentle and repetitive. He, like Jack did hours earlier, rests his head against your shoulder. You press your cheek to the crown of his head, soaking it in.

“I like him.”

A smile breaks your face in half, and you peer around to look at Isaac’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s cool.”

Your bottom lip disappears into your mouth as you fight back tears, still ready to flow without fair warning. You don’t want to scare them. “I’m so glad you think so, bubba.”

Elliot has once again taken Aaron’s finger hostage, and it takes more than a little negotiation to get him unwrapped and tucked back into his blanket. You have no idea how Elliot manages to sleep through all the commotion, but then again, he’ll have to get used to it.

Jess pokes her head back in. “Ready for some lunch?”

Four heads whip around and nod vigorously. Aaron deposits Caro on the floor, while Isaac presses a heart-wrenching kiss to Elliot’s head before gingerly getting his feet back under him. Jack just lifts Sophia and she hangs off his hip, only a little too big.

He walks to you and kisses your cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

You bring your hand up to his temple, the back of your fingers brushing his hair back. “I love you too, my Jack.”

One side of his mouth turns up in a smile, and he leaves the room with Sophia, leading the rest of the pack down the hallway.

+++

It's safe to say Dave immediately covets his namesake. You plop Elliot into his arms right away, and say, “This is Elliot David Hotchner. He’s been very excited to meet you.”

Dave full-on cries, letting the tears just fall onto his shirt as he bounces Elliot all around the room, talking to him about all the ways he’ll spoil him rotten.

It’s easy to name him after Rossi. When you finally decided on a couple of first names, it was a no-brainer to pair them up with David. He’s your family, like they all are, but you're acutely aware that Elliot will have the smallest amount of time with Dave, no matter how much time that will be.

When Dave is ready to give him up, he reluctantly passes him back to Aaron. Dave crosses to you while Aaron offers Elliot a knuckle to mouth around on.

Dave kisses your cheeks and embraces you. He leans back to look at you, keeping his hands on your face. You cover his hands with your own and close your eyes.

You're taking a lot of mental pictures today.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you're sure you see Aaron’s one-handed camera work out of the corner of your eye.

“Thank you, bellissima.”

“You’ve more than earned it,” you remind him.

“Dealing with you two for fifteen years? You’re damn right I have.”

+++

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steppedoffaflight · 4 years ago

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Then, the clearest memory of them all: The cry of your baby piercing the room. Waiting with baited breath for what feels like an entire eternity before you’re handed a ball of flannel fabric, baby carefully swaddled inside, clean and flushed.

“Oh, Christ,” Van murmurs, his eyes filled with tears.

Word count: ~2.4k

July 1st, 2020.

The best day of your life, even if your memories of it feel like a blur.

Staying up late on the last night of June, you and Van eager to spend all the quality time together that you two could, knowing your due date was only days away. Your nesting instincts had definitely been activated; the apartment was immaculate (with you forcing Van to do most of the dirty work), and the fridge was stocked full.

The cramps, that’s what you remember most vividly. Cuddling up to Van on the couch, cradling your enormous stomach with your palms, the muscles of your lower belly aching like they used to when you had a period. As the night progressed you’d worried about them, but in the end they were mild. By the time you two shut the TV off and headed to bed you could hardly feel them at all.

And then: coming to consciousness in the early, dark hours before dawn on that first day of July. Rolling over in bed only to feel a rush of fluid between your legs. For a second you think it’s a dream, but then you reach your arm out for the bedside lamp and there it is again. You struggle to sit up straight against the headboard, nudging Van urgently.

“Van,” You plead when he hardly reacts to you shaking his shoulder. “Babe, my water broke.” Van startling awake.

The cramps have returned in those few hours of sleep, and they knock the breath out of you each wave, leaving you struggling for breath as you and Van get dressed and gather your things. Van smokes three cigarettes while he leans against the kitchen island, the last three left in his pack. He’s delayed quitting until now, when there’s no more time to borrow.

There’s the four A.M. cab ride. The feeling of Van’s jeans where your palm rests on his leg, his hand warm on top of yours. His leg bouncing nervously, the baby doing somersaults, kicking at your ribs. The sky is dark but New York never sleeps, all of the buildings glowing with life.

Van rolling you in a wheelchair into the hospital, the sliding doors of the entrance opening to reveal the bright, white interior. It’s harder to remember things that happened after that; all of the memories look the same.

You remember being assigned a room, the jittery time you and Van spend waiting for your obstetrician to arrive after the hospital had called her in. All of the monitors, all of the beeping, the nurses keeping a careful eye on all of the different numbers and levels and lines while time passes.

The contractions get worse until the pain is unbearable, until you’re sweating and crying out, squeezing the life out of Van’s hand. They sit you up for the epidural, then, and you remember Van’s cool fingers sliding against the back of your neck, gently sweeping away any of your hair that was in their way. His hand comes to rest on the side of your neck, his voice quietly soothing you through the pinch of the needle.

More time passes. You slip in and out of some sleep, waking up every time someone comes to check on you.

And then there’s commotion, and your legs are guided into the stirrups, still numb from the pain medication. You remember Van looking absolutely petrified as it was time for you to start pushing.

“Oh, Christ,” Van murmurs, his eyes filled with tears when you hand his son over to him.

“He’s got hair,” He points out, his chin trembling. He tucks his son into the crook of his left elbow, one of his fingertips on his opposite hand tracing the dark fuzz that’s peeking out of the folds of the blanket.

“He does,” You coo, and Van has to stop stroking the hair on top of the baby’s head so that he can wipe his nose, sniffling loudly.

In some universe you might tease Van for crying, just to lighten the mood. But you’re living in a different universe than you were when you fell asleep yesterday, and it never crosses your mind to make any jokes as Van passes the baby back while he desperately tries (and fails) to gain his composure.

“His name suits him, don’t you think?” You ask while Van blows his nose loudly into a tissue. The tip of his nose is pink as he nods, leaning onto your hospital bed so he can keep admiring the literal human that you two have created together.

That’s how the whopping eight pounds and two ounces of Leo Bernard McCann came into this world, exactly one month before his father’s birthday.

You’ve just slipped below consciousness, your body desperate for rest. The heavenly warmth of sleep has completely swallowed you up, helping you sink down into the softness of your mattress. And then…

No sooner has your brain finally turned off than a boom of thunder wakes you up, pellets of rain rattling against the window. Like clockwork, as soon as the noise of the thunder fades, Leo’s screams roar simultaneously through the baby monitor and the thin wall that separates you and Van’s room from his nursery.

Van jolts awake at Leo’s staticy cries, sighing in displeasure. “I’ll go grab him,” He croaks.

“It’s your turn anyway,” You mumble, tugging the blankets over your head. You pray desperately for the thunder to be over, for this to be the last time Leo is startled awake in the night.

You hear Van’s voice coming through the baby monitor, cooing to Leo softly in an attempt to calm him down. Leo is still crying, hiccuping hysterically from his fright, but listening to Van’s voice has a calming effect on you that has you dozing back off.

But you’ve just drifted off when it happens again, another crash that isn’t fazed by your blanket tucked tightly over your head. This time Leo’s cries don’t ring out through the baby monitor, but are clearly coming from the living room.

You shuck the blanket off of your head, your skin crawling with the instinctive urge to care for your wailing baby. You’re stunned to see that time has passed; the room is lit up with bleak, gray daylight filtering in from the windows. Apparently you’d gotten a bit of sleep, although it doesn’t feel like it.

You head straight for the kitchen, the need for a cup of coffee critical.

“Aw, don’t be like that, lad,” You hear Van murmuring in the next room, his voice overpowered by Leo’s cries.

“It’s just rain,” You hear him urge the baby softly. “It’s just rain! I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” Van assures him, and you smile to yourself.

You’re still smiling as you come to lean on the living room doorframe, watching Van try to negotiate with his two-week-old son. Leo is throwing his little hands and feet around where he’s resting on one of your old bedroom pillows cradled in the crook of Van’s arm and across his lap. Since his birth it’s become his designated resting place, making it much easier to relax while supporting his neck when cradling him in your arms.

“Look what you’ve done,” Van mock-scolds him, “You’ve woken your mother up.” He lifts his head to beam at you, his exhaustion clear on his face.

“When’s the last time he ate?” You yawn, using the doorframe for support as you twist your torso, trying to crack your back.

“When I got up with him a couple’a hours ago,” Van tells you. “He’s probably due.”

“Do you want me to feed him? As long as you bring me some coffee when it’s done.”

But Van shakes his head. “I’ll do it. Bring me a bottle, will ya?”

You retreat back into the kitchen, carefully preparing a bottle of formula as the coffee machine sputters away, filling the pot with a painstakingly slow trickle.

“Here,” You yawn, giving the bottle another shake for good measure before handing it off to Van. You watch him spurt a few drops onto the inside of his wrist to check the temperature, just like the nurses taught him in the hospital, before he lets Leo latch on, his wailing coming to an abrupt stop.

He’s clearly still upset about the thunder, his little eyes darting around as he feeds, his face tomato red from his outburst. There’s a collective sigh of relief between you and Van as the apartment is finally quiet besides for the rain pelting against the living room window and the coffee maker coming to a noisy finish.

Leo has fully relaxed by the time you come back into the living room with two mugs of coffee, setting one near Van and cradling the other in both of your hands. His eyes are closed, his body still as he peacefully enjoys his second breakfast.

A crack of thunder makes you and Van jump, and you hold your breath, expecting Leo to be so distracted he stops feeding. But he only kicks one of his little legs out passionately before he’s settled back down, more interested in his formula.

“See? You’re okay,” Van coos, and you come to sit down next to Van, giving one of Leo’s feet an affectionate, gentle pinch through his onesie. Leo kicks his leg out again in response, and you can’t help but give his belly a quick tickle, unable to contain your love for him.

“How’re you feeling?” Van asks you, in the same routine he’s developed since you’ve been home from the hospital.

“Tired,” You sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder. For a quick moment you close your eyes, thinking back on all the luxurious naps you’d taken with a jet-lagged Van. You’d definitely taken them all for granted. All those sunny afternoons in hotels in unfamiliar places dozing away, no infant acting as your alarm clock.

You feel Van’s cheek come to rest against your hair for a moment before he tips his head back up, adjusting the bottle slightly for Leo. “How’re your stitches?” His voice is quiet, calming.

You don’t answer right away, still daydreaming about uninterrupted naps. “Not completely dissolved yet,” You grumble. Your head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds as you lift it off of Van’s shoulder. “Itchy.” You’re counting down the days until your episiotomy is completely healed, until the space between your legs isn’t a swollen, sore wound. They’re almost completely absorbed, but it’ll probably be another week until you’re completely pain-free. And three more weeks before you’d have the go-ahead for sex.

Not that you planned on having any. Your body was a tender mess, from the stitches between your legs to the extra skin on your stomach and the terrible breakout you were struggling with from the sudden fluctuations in hormones. Between your changing body and your mood swings, sex sounded the most unappetizing it’s ever felt since you’ve started dating Van.

Leo is done with his bottle, separating his mouth from the nipple with a pop, formula sloshing down his chin.

“You done?” Van asks, bringing the nipple of the bottle back to Leo’s lips. But he doesn’t want to latch on anymore, letting the few drops of formula fall on his cheek as he turns his head away.

“I’ll burp him,” You volunteer. As much as you love watching Van be the caring father he’s dedicated to being, it feels like it’s been too long since you’ve snuggled Leo.

Van grabs a burp rag off of the coffee table, checking to make sure it’s not too disgusting before he wipes the baby’s cheeks off with it and passes it to you. You lay it over your shoulder before digging Leo out of the comfort of his pillow, gently bringing him to lay against your chest, his cheek pressing into the burp rag. You pet the soft, dark hair on the top of his head that’s only grown thicker, relieved to have him back in your arms.

Van lets you two get settled before he leans over for a kiss, which you return happily.

“Pass me my coffee,” You ask Van, pointing to where you’ve set it right on the edge of the coffee table. Van passes the mug to your free hand, grabbing his own coffee from the side table by his arm of the couch. You’re both quiet as you get your caffeine fix for the day, Leo babbling quietly.

By the time Leo spits up it sounds like the thunderstorm that’s been plaguing the city all night has finally passed, leaving a residual light rain that doesn’t seem like it’s lifting anytime soon, and he dozes off as soon as you gingerly lay him in his crib. He’s got a nightlight of some British children’s cartoon character on his dresser, a gift from Bondy, and you switch it on just so that his room doesn’t feel so gloomy before you return to the living room, where Van looks seconds away from passing out, the coffee unable to provide respite from that new-parent exhaustion.

“C’mon,” You croak, offering him both of your hands to help lift himself off of the couch. He takes them, his body so heavy with sleep he almost pulls you down on top of him instead. “Let’s go back to bed.”

You two stumble into the bedroom, climbing back under the blankets that haven’t been made in days, finding each other even with your eyes barely open. Van takes you into his arms, the soft rhythm of his breathing immediately starting to lull you to sleep.

“I can’t believe we made a baby,” Van whispers, shifting around to get comfortable.

You sigh happily in response. You can’t believe it either, but you can’t wait for the day that you do. When you and Van are done adjusting to having your family expanded, when you’ve fallen into a nice routine and have discovered your new normal.

But until then, you’ll enjoy this nap.

#new york babyverse #catfish and the bottlemen #van mccann #catb #catb fic #van mccann fic #van mccann fanfiction #vanfic

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keepingupwithfundies · 4 years ago

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BuB 919: Baby Boy Blessings & Basketball Mishaps

The title says it all here: Tori has a baby boy, and Trace has a basketball mishap.

-T

The Bates family is still filming themselves, as Kelly and Gil facetime over to Tori and Bobby's. Addee is there. Tori is going to have a baby any day, so Katie and Addee are staying with her to help prepare for the baby and watch Kade while they're in the hospital. It seems that Addee is there now and Katie will join soon. Tori is worried about Covid 19, and having her sisters there helped her feel at ease. Kelly says it is hard that this is the first birth she won't be at or there shortly after. Kelly says she plans on facetiming a few times a day and says they can call over if they need anything.

Bobby and Kelton are working, and Tori calls Bobby and says she is having contractions and her water might be leaking. Dr. Vick says to come in and get checked, so they are going to the hospital. Tori says she is nearly ready for an epidural, so Bobby rushes out. Addee and Tori are packing and getting ready to go.

Meanwhile, in Arkansas with Nathan and Lawson, they call over to the main Bates house to check in with their parents. Lawson is nearly ready for his check flight to get his license, but he is worried he will go wrong. Kelly tells Lawson that Tori is showing signs that she is going in sooner. Lawson says technology usually keeps people distracted, but right now it has been keeping them connected.

Tori is leaving Addee and Katie with Kade, and Katie arrives to help babysit. Bobby arrives home from work, and they are ready to head out. Tori has Kade kiss her belly on the way out (very cute!) and Bobby says goodbye. Tori doesn't want to leave Kade, but she heads into the hospital. Carlin says everything has changed since she has given birth, and she is worried for Tori going through this at a scary time. Tori gets into the hospital, is at four centimeters and has her epidural. Tori facetimes everyone to hang out during her labor. Tori gets to 6 to 7 centimeters and is progressing quickly. Michael is glad to be on facetime with her family. Erin tells Tori that the boys got hurt on the basketball court. Trace and Warden collided during basketball, and Trace's eye won't open and he has a massive headache. They decided to head in to the hospital, and Trace is admitted and given a scan. Gil and Warden are in the parking garage waiting. Gil says on Wednesday they should be in church, but instead they're in the ER.

Tori is pushing, and everyone is on Facetime with her and Bobby. One of the epidural guys held the phone while Bobby focused on being there for Tori. Over Facetime, Michael hears Kolter starts crying and the family gets to see him. Tori says it was an unforgettable memory during a strange time. Michael tells Tori she made it look easy, and they hang up over Facetime. Kelly says she is grateful they could make a joyful time out of the situation and the family was so excited to be a part of this in the way that they could be. Tori says the world was hectic, but it was very peaceful and surreal.

Meanwhile, Gil is still waiting for Trace. Gil jokes that during this really difficult time, the Bates had two kids in two hospitals. Trace is ok, mild concussion but no bleeding on the brain and heads home to be careful. Tori & Bobby and Kolter head home to introduce Kolter to Kade. Kade is so excited he yells when he sees Tori in the window, and Bobby brings the carseat in. Kade immediately yells "Baby!" and starts excitedly giggling. Tori takes him out, and Kade keeps saying "baby!" over and over again, and it is RIDICULOUSLY cute. Gil says there have been a lot of times they didn't appreciate until this separation and now it is a learning experience not to take it for granted.

#BuB Season 9 #Bringing up Bates #recap

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kileyrose-2003 · 5 years ago

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Snakebite Andi x Fem! Reader Part 2

A/N: Hi guys! This is the continuation of what @wendyfuckintorrance requested because I went absolutely nuts writing this one. Hope you all enjoy part 2. Link to one is below. Same warnings apply.

August, 2011:

In those same moments Andi was being turned on that dark, Staten Island beach you laid in bed at the nearest open hospital in Colorado. The pains of labor radiating through your body. Machines beeped and buzzed around you wildly and it fueled your hysteria more.

"I can't-I can't do this!" You sobbed as the midwife examined you. "8 centimeters, sweetie. Only two more to go." She took her gloves off and gave your leg a reassuring pat. "No! Not two more. I can't..I want it out. I want it out. I want it out."

The lady smiled at you sympathetically and left the room. Once she left, your dad entered and sat down next to you. "Daddy, I can't. I can't!"

"Shh..I know baby, I know." He squeezed your hand and wiped your forehead off with a wet paper towel with his open one. "Where's mom? I want mom," You cried. You wanted Andi too but you knew all too well that was a wish that wouldn't be granted for a long time.

"She just got off the Boulder exit a little while ago. She'll be here in a couple of minutes." You nodded feverishly and squeezed his hand as you felt your next contraction coming on. "You're doing so good, honey. I'm so proud of you."

"You shouldn't be." You winced in pain and let out a scream. "I made a mistake. I fucked up." He shushed you. "None of this is your fault, alright? You can't help it anymore than the rest of us."

You grunted and nodded. There was a knock on the door. "You can come in." Your dad called out and your mom stepped in. "Sorry, I got stuck in traffic."

"No, no. That's fine." Your parents awkwardly hugged each other. "How are you, Y/m/n?" He asked. "Fine. You look great." Your dad nodded appreciatively and your mom made her way to your side. "Hey..how's baby?"

"Making me feel a lot of pain," You rasped. "I know..I know..Are you getting the epidural?" You shook your head. "No, it shouldn't be much longer hopefully."

"Okay sweetie." She placed a kiss against your sweaty forehead. "You have another contraction coming up." You let out a whine and she took your hand in her's. "I-it hurts!" You gasped. "I know..I know."

As the pain started to decrease you slowly let go of her head. "I-i feel something." You squirmed in the bed. "Like what?" Your mom asked softly. "I don't know..warm and-"

Your water broke and you gasped. "Oh god. Should I-"

"Yes, Y/F/N. Go get the nurse now!" Your mom urged and squeezed your hand. "Does that mean it's time?" She shrugged. "I don't know. Some women go into labor and their water never breaks. It all depends, honestly."

The midwife came back and slipped a pair of gloves on. "I'm going to examine you, Y/n. Is that okay?" You nodded and your mom held your hand as the woman stuck her fingers up by your cervix. "Nine centimeters but the head is right by the birthing canal. Get ready to have a baby, my dear."

Tears started running down your face and your mom cracked a small smile. "Aww honey, it's going to be okay."

"I'm scared!" The nurses stuck your feet on the bottom of squat bars as your dad slipped back into the room. "Alright Y/n, on the count of three we want you to push. Got it?" You nodded and bore down with all your might on the count of three.

"Good, again." You let out a scream of pain and shook your head. "I can't, I can't, I can't. Please, make it stop!" You begged into the air. "Yes, you can. You're almost their. Lean your hand down, sweetie." Your finger tips were greeted with the feel of sticky and warm hair and you let out a cry. "Oh god!"

"One more push! That's it! That's it!" The pain faded and in the midst of the chaos you heard the wail of a baby. "Y/n..she's beautiful," Your mom cried. "She.." You whispered softly.

The midwife handed the baby over to you and laid her on your. She was still dirty and sticky but you didn't care. Her little hands flailed out in the air and you smiled. She looked exactly like you.

"Hi.." You smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You're so beautiful." Tears brimmed in your eyes as your daughter cracked her little eyes open to look at you. "I'm your mommy, gorgeous."

Your daughter made a cooing noise and you grinned. "What are you naming her?" Your dad ran his thumb against your cheek. "Y/d/n..Y/d/n Andrea."

Being a teen mom was rough but you had your dad to help you and every day when you looked into Y/d/n's little eyes all the pain you went through was worth. Even when she had her fevers, tantrums, cried often in the midst of the night it was worth it.

For the first time in a while since you hadn't seen Andi, you finally had someone provided you with a sense of happiness and took the pain away. You tried sending her pictures of the baby numerous times but to no avail. It hurt but at least you had someone to love.

There was nothing that brought you more joy than hearing your daughter's little feet softly tapping down the stairs in the morning. She'd giggle as she'd run through the living room, jumping up behind you while you stood at the stove top making breakfast. "I got you mommy!" She would exclaim excitedly and wrap her tiny arms around your middle. You would smile widely and scoop her up in your arms. Sometimes twirling her around in a little circle.

"Yes you do, my sunshine." And she would always giggle and kiss your cheek. "Mommy, I'm not the sun! That's the sun."

"I know but who needs that sun when I have you?" Giggles would turn into a tiny aww followed by an 'I love you mommy' behind it.

She was the most affectionate and beautiful little girl. Everyone around her, including your parents, enjoyed her. That happiness unfortunately only lasted for six short years though. You could still remember the last day you seen her so clearly in her mind. The way her little blue dress puffed up when she moved and her little Y/c/h bounced in the wind.

It was a sleepover for a girl's sixth birthday just a little after her own and you dropped her off at the house.

"I love you mommy." She smiled as you gave her a big hug. Being only 21 you were the youngest mom in the group so the other parents could relate on your hesitance to let her go. "I love you too. Be a good girl, okay?"

"I will! I'll see you tomorrow." Except there would be no tomorrow you would ever see with her. You would never forget the girl's mother on the phone, calling you frantically.

"She's gone!" The woman screamed into your ear at the way early hours in the morning. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"She's gone! I don't know where she went. One of the girls were sleeping next to her on a sleeping bag because she missed you and the kid woke up in the middle of the night and she wasn't there.."

You lost track of how many interviews and calls you shared with detectives over the past couple of months and you became an empty shell of a person. Yet again your parents were left to pick up the pieces in the aftermaths of a tragedy you were dealt and you grief grew.

"Why don't you adopt?" Your father asked the one night as he sat with you in your dining room as the two of you shared a meal together. "I can't bring myself to..no one can ever replace her."

It was a quiet Saturday night and you were at your dad's house, making sure he was all comfy before you went home. Your parents weren't exactly the youngest anymore and you brought it upon yourself to take care of them the way they took care of you.

"You have everything you need? Blanket, water-"

"Yes for the thousandth time, Y/n. I have everything." Your dad settled into his recliner. "Okay, I just wanted to make sure."

"You cook me meals, sit with me during the day if I don't work, trust me I'm okay. Look, I know you feel like you have some sort of debt you owe your mother and I-"

"Dad-"

"You don't. Period. You've been through alot and I in particular was absent for a portion of it. You owe me nothing. I owed a debt and now I'm paying it so just don't be so hard on yourself." You nodded solemnly. "Got it, dad."

He held his arms to you. "Now give me a hug before you go." You did as he asked and he rubbed little circular shapes on your back. "Love you kiddo."

"Love you too." You felt your phone vibrating in your back pocket but you ignored it. "Try and get a solid nights sleep if not you, for me?"

"Dad-"

"I'm sorry..I'm just worried about you. You haven't been same since Y/d/n di-"

"Please don't say that word." You begged. "Y/n, I know it hurts but honey. She's been gone for months. If they haven't found her yet, chances are that no one will. Living in this sorrow, this despair, fear, it's going to kill you."

"I know! I just..I'm not ready to give up yet. I can't. She's all I had since I left Arizona and it's the only thing that fills the pain a little bit." Tears brimmed in your eyes and your dad wiped them away. "I know, I'm just saying. Be careful please and just take care of yourself, if not for you then for me because that will make me happy. Kay?"

"Okay." He released from his embrace and kissed your cheeks. "I love you." You wiped the tears from your eyes and picked up your purse. "Love you too. Bye dad." He gave a tiny wave as you stepped out the door.

You walked out to your car and checked your phone. There was a missed call from a Colorado number on your phone but you didn't bother to call back. If they couldn't bother to leave a voicemail, it couldn't of been that important.

You put the keys in the ignition and began your short drive home, thinking on what your dad said. It had been almost seven years since you seen Andi. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time you just gave up.

You pulled into your driveway and shut the car off, making sure to lock it before preparing to enter your house.

You opened the door and stepped inside. "Odd, I thought I shut all the lights off," You shrugged and took your shoes and jacket off. You put your foot on the first step on your stairway to the second floor.

"Y/n." You froze and grabbed your gun you had hidden by your front door. "Whoever's there, I'm warning you! I have a gun!"

"Y/n, come closer sweetie." You hesitantly did as the person and found yourself in your living room. "I did what you asked, damn it! Show yourself!"

You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder and you let out a yell, dropping the gun on the floor as you spun the other direction. "Andi?!"

You faced the intruder with mixed emotions. "Long time, no see." She pulled you close to her and held you tight. You grabbed onto the back of her clothes and gripped them as if to see if she was really there and cried.

"Y-you found me," You rasped and wrapped your arms around Andi's neck. "I told you I would." She pressed her lips against yours. Her teeth sank into them feverishly, asking for permission to enter your mouth. You opened up and your tongues battled for dominance, Andi clearly overpowering you. You both pulled away from each other, gasping for breath.

You looked deep into her pretty blue eyes. She hadn't changed at all in the last six years, which wasn't a bad thing because even in her worst moments you thought she was one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen, but she felt different. Something about her changed. "What's the matter?" Andi smiled and held your hand in hers. "You haven't aged..at all." She pulled you close to her and held you tight. "I know. Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah. You look beautiful." Her clothes smiled like embers from a fireplace and you nuzzled into the warmth. "So do you." She kissed you over and over again, taking in the pictures on the wall over you house.

'Damn it. I didn't even think she might of just walked through the door with the kid.' She thought but yet again, she couldn't remember hearing you speak to anyone on your way in. "Y/n, I know it's late but where's mini me?" Your smile faded and you said nothing, loosening your grip on Andi. Andi pulled away from you and figured out the answer based on the answer based on your lack of response and that empty look on your face. "Oh god.."

"It's my fault," You hummed with tears brimming in your eyes. "I should of never of let her go to that slumber party." You hitched a sob and started hysterically crying.

"Hey, hey.." Andi tried to calm you down. "I'll never forget how horrible it felt! She was my everything and was the only thing that took the pain away of not being able to see you." You fanned your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears but failed.

"Y/d/n had a bunch of friends and she begged me and begged to go to this slumber party but I just had that bad feeling. That one I get when I know something is going to happen," You sniffled. "I met the girl's mom throwing the party. She seemed nice enough. Andi, I wish you could of seen the look she gave me when she asked to go. It was so cute and I couldn't say no so I let her go and I should of never let her go. She kissed my cheek and told me thank you a million times over and I'd see her tomorrow and she loved me. It was six in the morning when her friend's mom called and she was just..gone!"

"Okay..okay." Andi rocked you back in forth in her arms trying to contain the panic inside her that was bubbling up. The True, Andi included, looked at killing rubes almost as if it was killing deer, but the thought of her hurting you like that killed her in the inside. She held you as you cried into her chest. "Is she..you know.."

"No one knows but deep down inside I think I know she's not-" You couldn't even finish your sentence. You just kept crying. "She's gone and it's all my fault."

"Y/n, you couldn't of known." You shook your head. "I'm a horrible mother!" Andi kissed the tears away from your face. "Don't say that. You loved her and I'm sure she knew that." That feeling of panic bubbled up more inside her. No..she couldn't of hurt your daughter. She wouldn't hurt you daughter. She would felt her connection to you and would of never of went along with it but at the same point, maybe just maybe, she would of out hunger.

"You got a picture of her?" You nodded and hicupped slightl. "W-why? What does it matter if I told you she's gone?"

"Just..do you have a picture of her?" You nodded and grabbed one of you and her on Christmas off the coffee table. Andi looked at the picture intensely and breathed a sigh of relief. She never seen your daughter before. "Thank god.."

"Thank god, what?" You asked. "Nothing, it's just..Fuck it. I was going to have to tell you anyways but this just threw my whole plan off." Your body stiffened and you sniffled, trying to bottle in all your anxiety. "Andi, what the hell did you do?"

"Why don't you just sit down first?" She plopped down on your sofa. "Fuck," You mumbled softly and sat down across from her. Andi grabbed your hand and squeezed it. "So after you left, things with my dad got worse..way worse." Your face softened and you rubbed the top of her hand. "He got drunk the one day and he went at me more than usual and," Andi started crying. "He passed out drunk in his recliner and I killed him."

"Andi.." You wiped one of the tears away from her cheeks. "I killed him! I took one of my mother's knitting needles and I gave him what he deserved." She laughed and the sound of it made your blood run cold though you'd be lying if you said if you didn't think the man deserved it. The man was a prick for as long as you could remember and he wasn't exactly a saint.

"My mother came home and she freaked out. 'He never did any of those things to you,' she said. 'You're lying.' So she called the cops and I ran. They never found me obviously but they're still looking for me. I travelled all over for a few months and then I found myself in Staten Island."

"W-what happened in Staten Island?" You asked, a little afraid of the answer. "I met these people, Y/n. Special people, like us. The leader, Rose the Hat, beautiful woman by the way, she's a genius. They gave me a gift and a family."

"What type of a gift?" Andi just smiled. "Eternal life." Her face was serious but you couldn't help but laugh. This all had to be some sick joke. "Bullshit."

"No, really. It's true." Her eyes flickered to the haunting blue. "Don't you think they look pretty now?" You screamed and pulled away from her, nearly falling off the couch. "Andi, what the fuck?!" You screamed at her.

"Just think about it Y/n. If I'm immortal and you're immortal we can be together now, forever. Nothing can tear us apart ever again."

"Andi this is cult shit. Like all the horror movies we watched on TV as kids. How did you even become immortal, what the fuck is up with your eyes, and who the fuck are these people?" Your breathing was ragged and you could feel your body trembling.

She furrowed her brows almost as if she was mad at you. "They're not just people. They're my family. We're The True Knot and what is tied can never be untied. They do this turning on special like us, the steamy ones."

"Steamy?" She nodded. "You know, how I can push people to do things they wants and you can feel bad things before they happen? We inhale the steam and it makes us live forever."

"Where do you get it from?" Andi hesitated before answering. "People..mostly kids."

"You kill people so you can live forever? Andi, that's not right. It's not sane! You're like a fucking vampire!" You screamed. "Empty devils actually," She corrected like it was nothing.

"Were you the one that hurt her?!"

"Who?"

"My daughter and be honest or I swear to god I will rip you apart limb for limb." You growled. "I didn't- I wouldn't hurt your daughter, ever. She's a part of you and that's precious to me." You narrowed your eyes.

"I know it sounds bad but we live forever. We can be together forever. Don't you want that?" Andi held your face in her hands.

"N-no," You said and pushed her away. "N-no?" Andi's smile faded and her eyes flicked up like a snake. You nodded and bit your bottom lip. "I don't even know you anymore. You're not my Andi."

"Y/n. I know I'm different but it's still me. I still love you." You shook your head. "But you're not you though. Your dad was a dick. I can understand that but all the death, the madness..you've gone down a path I can't follow. What you've done isn't even bad, it's just sick."

"Y/n-"

"It's wrong! Think of all those kids you hurt, those poor kids and their parents. Do you know how horrible it feels to lose a child? To think they're going to be safe at a friend's slumber party and be home the next morning and they never come back, and have that small hug and kiss you had with them as the last confusing interaction you had because nothing makes sense and how the pain just never goes away?" You had tears slowly falling down your cheeks.

"No, I wouldn't know and I'm sorry that some sick rube fuck would do that to you but think of it this way, do you cry when a cow is killed?" Your went wide in disbelief. "What?!"

"Do you cry when a cow is killed?" You shook your head. "No, but-"

"That's what we eat is essentially. Rubes are nothing more but a cow waiting for slaughter." You just stared at her, not knowing what to say or do.

"See?" She smiled at you and caressed your cheek. "Nothing to get upset about. That's all it is and nothing more."

"Call me sentimental but I think people have more worth then a cow." Andi made a face and shrugged. "If you say so."

Their was awkward silence for a moment and Andi moved closer to you. "Y/n, please say something," She begged. "Leave."

"What?"

"You heard me Andi." You refused to meet her eyes that you knew were brimming with tears from just her tonality. "Y-y/n, I just found you and I don't want to lose that again. I-i love you!"

"I know you do but I'm sorry. I can't be with you. Not when you're like this." Andi's face went from hysterical to stone cold. "Fine." She picked her purse and walked towards the door, looking at you longingly for a moment before leaving.

You watched her get into an RV and drive off. Once she was out of sight you slumped down onto your couch and covered your face, beginning to cry.

Meanwhile Andi angrily pulled into the Bluebell Campground, the RV coming to the a screeching hault.

Rose, who was a deep state of meditation found her pattern broken at the sound of it. She angrily withdrew her hand from lap, disturbing Crow Daddy who had his head laying on her legs. "The fuck?" She whispered and moved away from him.

"Andi's back already?" He groaned, beginning to sit up. "Yeah. I thought she was going to take longer." She stood up off her pillows. "I'm going to go check on her. I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay," Crow hummed and placed a gentle kiss on her hand. Rose smiled softly and kissed the top of his head before climbing down the ladder and strolling over to Andi's RV. She knocked once before entering.

"You know, I know like to show off sometimes but you don't-" Rose stopped what she saying and shut the door behind her. "What's the matter?" She asked, seeing Andi's tears.

"She turned me away.." She grumbled. "Me! Of all people." Rose sat down next to Andi and tried to get her to look her in the eye. "Did she why or-"

"She's mad at me! She doesn't love me anymore." Rose had to bite her tongue to stop herself from making some remark about you being a stupid rube since she knew how highly Andi always spoke of you.

"Honey, I'm sure that's not true. Did she say that?" Andi shook her head. "N-no! She said she didn't agree with what we did and that she still loved me but just the way she looked me..she looked so ashamed of me!"

Rose hesitantly pulled Andi into a hug. "Well..maybe she just needs time to come around." The younger woman shook her head. "No..she just doesn't want me!"

Rose said nothing a pressed a kiss against her temple. "And then she accused me of doing something to her daughter and I couldn't-I would never-"

"I know..I know. Just give her some time. Because if she does love you the way you say she does, I'm sure she'll come around." Andi only shook her head. "No..she won't. Not this time."

For the next two weeks Andi moped around the campsite, her moods going from high to low and her temper higher than ever.

The whole True noticed it and they were concerned. Everyone tried to talk to her about it and give her advice in many different ways but nothing worked.

On day 14 Rose could finally take no more and she pulled Crow aside to talk. "Look! I know it's not my place but fuck! I can't take this anymore. She's sad all the time and if I have to keep playing nice every time she makes a bitchy remark to me I'm going to not be so fucking nice anymore."

Crow took his hands in her's. "I know..I know. What can we really do for her though, Rosie? If the girl doesn't want to be with her, we can't force her."

"I don't care! If that's the key to her happiness and the end to Andi's bitchness then I want her."

"Rosie-"

"I want her- I fucking want her!"

A few days later you were laying on the couch and reading a book when you heard a knock. It was persistent and you let out a groan. "I'm coming!" The knocking became more urgent and you groaned. "I said I'm coming!"

You looked out the peephole and seen a woman standing on your porch. You cracked the door open. "Well, hi there! Y/n, isn't it?" You hesitantly open the door more and nodded. "Top hat, grey eyes, you must be Rose."

"Your intelligence is well noted, my dear." "She pushed her way past you and slipped through the door, grabbing the sides of your face. "My, aren't you a pretty thing? I see why Andi is so over the moon with you." You shoved Rose away from you. "What the hell makes you think you're welcome in my house?"

"Oh I'm not but desperate times call for desperate measures." She hung her coat up on a hook and walked past you, looking around your living room. "Desperate times?" You asked and she nodded. Rose took one of the picture frames off the wall and looked deeply into a picture of you and your daughter. You wanted to rip out of her hands and scream at her not to touch it but all it would do would give her more kicks. At least it seemed that way at first.

For a second you could of swore you almost felt something close to Rose being sentimental. Once you seen that she wasn't doing it for kicks, the urge faded. "What was her name?" She ran a thumb across the clean glass and focused deeply into it. "Y/d/n."

"Y/d/n," She reiterated silently. "Yes..I see why you're defensive now. You have a steamy little spawn..pretty like you too. I don't have to be around her to see that." Rose turned her head away from the picture. "I can assure you though, I don't have her. Or have ever had her in my possession at any point if that brings you any closure."

You nodded and rubbed your face. "What do you want?" Rose sat down on the small sofa. "I wanted to have a talk with you. It's your house, honey. Sit, please."

You sat down across from Rose who took your hands in hers. "My Andi-"

"She's not yours. She's her own person but go on."

Rose grinned. "My, I struck a nerve. Didn't I? Anyways, Andi is not well." You furrowed your brows. "Oh? How so?"

"She has not been the same since she seen you. Some times when I see Andi, she is an empty shell. She'll come out of her trailer and eat, after that she goes back in and I don't see her for the rest of the day. Other days she's more feisty."

You had to fight the urge to let out a bitter laugh. "You haven't noticed she has mood swings by now?"

"This is different," Rose snapped. "It's concerning the family and no matter what efforts I've taken to wipe your existence from her mind, she refuses to forget you. So-"

"If you're going to ask me to come with you, don't expect me to give you a different answer then I gave Andi."

Rose smiled gamely. "I expected as much but I'm not asking, I'm telling you that you're coming with me." She turned her attention to the dark corner of the room.

"Daddy, I thought you were never coming." You shivered and slowly rotated your body to look in the corner. The only thing you could see were those same haunting blue eyes Andi showed you. A see of blood flashed over your eyes momentarily.

"Traffic was a bitch." He changed his gaze to look at you. "That Y/n?" Rose nodded and stood up. "Y/n, who's giving me a hard time so I might need your assistance."

She smiled down at you and pulled a needle out of her pocket. "The stiller you stay, the easier this will go for you."

"Fuck you." You kicked the coffee table and went to go run out the front door. "Crow!" Rose screamed. "Already on it, Rosie." As soon as your hand connected with the door knob you felt two pairs of hands grasp your mind. Your body went cold and you attempted to let out a scream but nothing happened. "I told you not to run, sweetie," Rose tutted and had Crow wrap his arms around your collar bone.

"Just a little pinch, sweetie." You winced as you felt the needle puncture your skin and the drug entering your body. You fought to keep your eyes open but you felt so tired. "Don't fight it." Rose grinned and patted the top of your head. "Sleep."

Eventually you went limp in Rose's arms. "Well, that went differently than I expected." She grinned. "You have the car pulled around front?"

"You know it Rosie. Am I taking her back or are you?" She thought about it for a moment. "I will. Just in case she tries to pull something." Rose kissed his cheek. "I owe you, honeydoll."

"You owe me, nothing." He kissed her forehead. "Be careful." She hummed in response and began to carry you out to the Jeep as Crow made his way towards his RV, closing himself in.

Rose set you down sitting up and buckled you in. "Jackpot!" She slammed her hands on the dashboard and began the drive back to the Bluebell with you in tow.

When she and Crow arrived back, Andi was already asleep but it didn't stop Rose from banging on her door.

"Andi! Rise and shine!" Rose grinned and knocked loudly. It took a few minutes but Andi swung the door open. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." Rose forced her way inside. "And you couldn't of waited until tomorrow morning?!"

"Oh sweetie, you know me better than that." She caressed Andi's cheek. "Yeah, I do. Which means you have another reason for being here. So what is it?"

"You can bring her in now, Crow." Andi's eyes went wide as she seen Crow Daddy carry you inside her trailer and gently set you down on her bed.

"Y/n.." She muttered your name softly. "How did you-"

"A little sleeping works a long ways for her." Andi laughed nervously and cracked a smile at Rose. "Thank you." She hugged her tightly. "You're welcome, honey." She patted the top of Andi's head. "Get some rest, please?"

"Yeah." Andi nodded and pulled the covers over you and herself. Rose beckoned for Crow to leave and he immediately obeyed.

She nuzzled close to you in bed, taking in all your features as you slept. "My Y/n.." She hummed softly and kissed you sweetly on the lips.

The next morning when you woke up you refused to talk to Andi at all. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" There was some vulnerability you hadn't heard in Andi's voice in a long time as she handed a cup

"I'm not mad. I'm upset. There's a difference between the two." Andi sighed and sat down next to you, taking your hand in her's. "What was I supposed to do, Y/n? I had no choice."

"I know I'm just-"

"Just frustrated because neither of us had any of this be fair. At all." Andi caressed your cheek. "I know." You set your tea cup down on the table.

"Hold me?" You reached your arms out to her's and Andi pulled you close to her chest. The feeling of her warmth relieved some of the tension in your body and you nuzzled close to her.

"This feels nice.." You muttered softly. "We can have this forever if you want. I know I just..I'm not ready for that."

"And that's okay, I'll wait for you. I know I can't take all the pain away, but I'll try." Andi kissed you sweetly on the lips and you returned the gesture. "Thanks."

"Come on, it's time I introduce you to everyone." Andi held her out to touch yours and you eagerly took it as she brought you outside to meet the rest of the family.

It might of not of been traditional but you had Andi and she had you. You were home.

#snakebite andi #rose the hat #crow daddy #the true knot #true knot #imagine #imagines #x female reader #x fem reader #x reader #the shining #doctor sleep #dr sleep #stephen king

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amomsstuff · 5 years ago

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Labor & Delivery

During my entire pregnancy I really never had contractions. None that I could feel anyway. In fact I was so worried about going into labor and not even knowing it! I was told a multitude of times to not worry, I would know. They were right…

I started having mild contractions around 7:15pm on April 4th. In fact I wasn’t completely sure if they were contractions, but as the night went on…it was clear. The pain wasn’t like I had been told contractions would feel, but I was determined they had to be contractions. It was a severe stabbing pain around my cervix, getting more intense and worse. I tried to wait until they were less then 5min apart, but I reached the 7min mark and was in so much pain I decided to go ahead and make my way to the hospital.

Part of me felt somewhat guilty for going before the 5min mark, but I just couldn’t handle the pain. All I could think about was that sweet sweet epidural I’d be getting. When we arrived we got checked in, I went to L&D triage, and my doctor eventually gave the ok to go ahead and admit me. In all honesty it felt like forever before I finally got to my room, but I can’t say I was focused on keeping track of the time.

It was at least an hour between check in and by the time I got to my room, and by this point the pain was truly excruciating. I’m not the kind of person who cries. I hate crying in front of people, I have being vulnerable, I just hate feeling exposed. I couldn’t take it though. Even my husband had said he’d never seen me like this. Not even when I had a 10cm tumor pushing on my ovary. At this point I didn’t care. I didn’t care who saw my body exposed. I didn’t care that I hadn’t re-shaved. I didn’t care that I looked like absolute garbage. Coming from someone whose incredibly self conscious about her image, this was a whole new level of pain. Words truly can’t describe the pain. Excruciating is the best I can come up with.

Luckily, my nurse decided that I needed the epidural sooner rather then later. While we waited for my blood work, she tried to get me to focus on my breathing. I’m sure at this point I was borderline hyperventilating. I couldn’t do it though…I tried! Eventually I was just balling hysterically. Though I gotta admit, the pains from my contractions made the pain from the epidural feel like nothing. After the epidural, things got so, so much better. I had absolutely no control over my lower body though! After a couple hours of no increased dilation from the whopping 3cm I was when I came in, they decided to try and speed it up. With drugs, came dilation!

Granted it was a couple hours before I became roughly 10cm, things started to unfold quickly. I wasn’t completely 10cm, but my nurse called my doc with a bit of urgency. She did a great job staying calm, which kept me calm, but I knew something was up. The whole L&D event was a bit hazy for me, looking back, but I knew something had changed. I had a suspicion that her heart rate had dropped, but I kept calm and trusted my team. Doc made it in within minutes, after they had gotten everything ready for delivery. I gotta admit this is when things started to feel real…intense.

Fear began to creep up. The idea of pushing this child out of me was absolutely terrifying to me. No matter how much I tried to tell myself, “women were meant for this” or any kind of sane reasoning, I was still terrified. The process of pushing began at 12:01pm on April 5th, and I had officially birthed my first child at 12:10pm on April 5th.

I only had to push for 9min, but it truly felt much longer. I won’t say it felt like hours, but I will say the pain wasn’t as bad as my contractions. If nothing else the fear was what got to me. I just remember finally breaking down, after being in tears hysterically, and admitting to my nurse and husband that I was scarred. Again, I’m not a very vulnerable person…and looking my nurse in the eyes, balling my eyes out. Telling her how terrified I was, I felt completely and utterly helpless.

Now I’m not entirely sure, as my delivery time was so short, but I do faintly recall a wave of determination after maybe the first 5min. At that point, there was obviously still pain, but the wave of determination to birth this child became all consuming. It was if I could do it, I felt that I could do it. I had to do it. Luckily…I did it.

Turns out, she had a nuchal cord. When she had dropped, the umbilical cord became wrapped around her neck. This is why they had become so urgent to begin delivery. They didn’t tell me any of this during the delivery, which I’m thankful for. Though they were beginning to think about using the vacuum, apparently. Now I really didn’t have a “birth plan” set up, I don’t really believe in it. You just never know what’s gonna happen. All I knew was I didn’t want forceps/vacuum to be used, and I wanted skin on skin after delivery. Oh, and my epidural. So. I’m glad I was able to push her out fast enough. She was completely fine/healthy!

I can’t say I recall hearing her cry afterwards. Honestly after she had been delivered, I couldn’t stop crying and I was in such a daze. People around me were talking, but all I could focus on was my little girl. I didn’t have this overwhelming feeling of a bond, necessarily. I just had feelings of being overwhelmed. Though that’s not to say I wasn’t happy to be holding my daughter, at all! Everything had just happened so fast, my brain and emotions I think were just trying to catch up.

Honestly, the entire experience couldn’t have gone better. I had an amazing husband supporting me the entire time. My doctor and nurses were truly amazing. And I can’t believe I pushed that 7lb 15oz baby out of me?!

#labor #labor and delivery #child labor #first time mom #delivery #april 5th 2020 #newborn

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missmudpie · 5 years ago

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I just reblogged a post that brings up the dangers of childbirth, and how this aspect is rarely discussed in the abortion debate. I don’t want to add to that post, but I do want to share my experience. The US has the highest maternal mortality rate in the industrialized world, and women of color are the most vulnerable when it comes to maternal care. Historically, childbirth has been extremely dangerous. I think we take it for granted that a mother is not just going to leave the birthing bed with a child, but leave it at all, but that is not the case. I was pro-choice long before I had kids, but having kids has made me even MORE pro-choice, and it’s due to the experiences I had during pregnancy and childbirth with both my sons.

I want to be very clear here. I did not almost die giving birth to my firstborn. Women do die in childbirth, and women come very close to dying. I did not almost die in childbirth.

I did, though, come very close to having a hysterectomy at the age of 30 because they couldn’t control the post-labor bleeding. My own doctor called my post-labor experience “catastrophic.” I will put the rest under the break, as I’m going to be very frank about what happened to me. When people say, “Just give the baby up for adoption!”, I want them to think about what exactly pregnancy and labor entails, and the risks that go along with growing a person in side you and then pushing it out of your body.

I learned I was pregnant in mid-June 2012. It was Day 35 of my cycle. In early July, when I was 8 weeks along, I went in for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy was progressing and get the first look at the fetus that would eventually become my son. During that ultrasound, they discovered I had a uterine fibroid tumor. These are basically muscular tumors, not cancerous, almost always benign. Some women have no symptoms; some can have heavier periods. The concern with pregnant women is the placement of the tumor. If it’s too close to the placenta, it can impede the growth of the fetus. If it’s too low in the uterus, it can block the passage out for the baby. Oh, and they grow exponentially during pregnancy, due to all the extra hormones floating around in there. I was sent to a specialist, who did a higher-image ultrasound, and then had frequent ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy.

The good news was the growth, while near (and, I think, ultimately under) the placenta, did not harm J’s development in any way. He was born a healthy 8lbs 5oz and was perfectly fine.

The bad news is the tumor swelled to the size of a grapefruit.

The risk of delivery with a fibroid tumor is that there is excessive bleeding. My doctor, who was not there for the delivery, later described it like this: After the baby is born, the uterus starts contracting, slowly going down to its normal, pre-pregnancy size. Bleeding is normal post-delivery. But the fibroid doesn’t clot like the other little vessels in the uterine wall. Instead, vessels the size of a pen (yes, pEn, not pIn) continue to shoot out blood with each contraction.

Think of how many pens you could fit on a grapefruit.

The hospital knew the risks. I’d been typed for blood when I arrived. They said I was bleeding a bit more than normal, but not so much as to be alarmed. I’d given birth without drugs, but now, to remove the placenta and check on the bleeding, they urged me to get some drugs.

“It would not be right to do the things we’re about to do to you without drugs.”

The drugs, I know Dilaudid was one of them, made me loopy. I couldn’t lift my head. By now it was - I don’t even know - 3? 4am? They took J to the nursery, but kept me and my husband in delivery, where they were better equipped to act if things went wrong.

Things went wrong.

They turned out the lights and Nurse Sue - who had been a godsend - said she’d be back in an hour.

And I FELT it. I felt myself bleeding. I felt the blood, too much blood, coming out of me. But I was so drugged out that I couldn’t react. My husband was asleep in the fold-out couch, six feet away, and I couldn’t wake him, because in my drug-addled mind I thought it was more important that he sleep. I tried to use the call button, but couldn’t make my arm move. And when I did, I later learned I was pressing not a button, by just a random circle I THOUGHT was the button. I kept passing out and then coming back and trying to press the button. The only thing getting me through this was knowing Nurse Sue was coming back in an hour.

And, luckily, she actually did.

Now, I was drugged up. So some things that happened I don’t really remember. The things I do remember are crystal clear.

I said, “Sue, I know I’m on drugs, but something is wrong.” And she believed me.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my skin was a darker color.

She looked and immediately called the doctor. Lights go on, and suddenly there are a ton of people in the room. The doctor did something and I remember screaming, which seemed to piss her off, like I could help it that shoving her hand up my vagina and into my uterus didn’t feel pleasant at 5am.

They took me to surgery. I am not proud of this, but remember saying (screaming?) repeatedly, “Don’t let me die. Don’t take my uterus.” I wish I knew who was in the other delivery rooms. I’d like to apologize.

They took me to the operating room and told me to move onto the other bed. “I can’t.”

Nurse Sue said, “Throughout all this, I’ve never heard you say, ‘I can’t.’”

I got on the bed.

The anesthesiologist began to prep me. The idea of going under scares me, so, again, in my drug-addled state, I tried to bargain. “Ok, ok. I’ll take the epidural now.” I think I shocked him, because for a second he paused, then said, “Uh, I don’t think we have time to do that.” His assistant was a woman named Marzena. A Polish name. I spoke to her in broken Polish, which also surprised her.

My last thought was that I’d mis-conjugated a verb.

When I woke up, I learned they had done a D & C (Dilation and Curettage, which basically just means they scrapped all the crap out of my uterus) and inserted a balloon, which was to provide pressure on the fibroid and stop the bleeding. It was to stay there for 12 hours.

It fell out. Again, I don’t remember how soon it fell out - 2 hours, maybe? But it fell out.

To measure my blood loss, Nurse Sue, still with me, would remove clots the size of golf balls from my uterus and weigh them.

The chief resident came in and told me, quite dispassionately, that if my bleeding continued I’d be taken to radiology, where they would basically cauterized the blood vessels. “There’s not really any good research on if you could become pregnant again after that. Or we could just give you a hysterectomy, in which case you definitely won’t be able to get pregnant again.”

I burst into tears.

Nurse Sue assured me everyone hated that guy.

And then she broke protocol.

You aren’t supposed to let the new mom sleep with the baby. She could drop him or her, or accidentally smother the baby. But she took J. and put him in my arms, and told me to sleep. (My husband was still in the room.) The picture of the two of us sleeping is one of my favorites.

This is how my bleeding stopped. I’m sure of it. Holding my newborn is what calmed my body enough to let it begin to heal. I don’t care if there’s no medical reasoning to back this up. Holding J. stopped my bleeding.

We were finally transferred to maternity. They took my hematocrit, which measures the proportion of red blood cells to blood. A woman’s normal hematocrit is between 36 and 45.

Mine was 18.

I received two units of blood, and let me tell you, vampires have it figured out. I felt like a new person.

And that’s it. I went in on a Tuesday afternoon, gave birth at 1:45am on Wednesday, and went home Friday morning. I did all that for a child I wanted.

And that’s why you can’t force a woman to carry a pregnancy, why you can’t just say it’s nine months and a little pain and give the baby up for adoption. Because childbirth is not all sunshine and roses and Dads fainting and Moms giving three pushes and the baby comes out. Labor and delivery are grueling, taxing and, in spite of all our medical advancements, dangerous. I have friends whose labors didn’t progress and were forced to have emergency C-sections. I have a friend whose baby got stuck and forceps had to be used. I know one (1) woman who had a completely fine labor and delivery. Everyone else, something, be it big or small, has gone wrong.

There’s this Law and Order episode that I found here that deals with abortion. Jack McCoy says something along the lines of, “My daughter was pro-choice until she saw her first sonogram. Now...”

No. Being pregnant, delivering vaginally, experiencing massive bleeding, having a surgery to remove the fibroid, being pregnant with a toddler, having a C-section, becoming the mother of two wonderful, active, curious, pain-in-the-ass boys has made me MORE Pro-Choice. You cannot not force anyone to put their life on the line for a collection of cells. You cannot force someone to become a mother if they don’t want to BE a mother.

It is my body.

It is my life.

#Abortion #Pro-Choice #Childbirth

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sweetness47 · 5 years ago

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The New Addition

Pairing Bucky x reader

This is for @icantlivewithyou for her 800 followers challenge!!! Congrats btw…

Prompt #65: Can you believe we made a tiny person?

Warnings? Not sure…fluffy stuff, maybe some swearing, slight angst, some descriptions of childbirth, mentions of past smutty moments, some moments of doubt and insecurity

SUMMARY: You and Bucky are due to become parents.

“Where is she?”

Steve, Tony and Nat were in the waiting area when Bucky burst into the hospital ER. Steve stood and tried to calm Bucky before he caused widespread panic. “Easy Buck, she’s ok. The doctor took her to the delivery room. If you ask one of the nurses at the desk, they will take you to her.”

Bucky took a deep breath and went over to the desk. The nurse at the station looked at the large man standing at the desk, wondering if she should be running right now.

“YN. My wife. She came in here. She was having contractions. Can I see her?”

The nurse looked at the charts. “Yes, YN Barnes?” Buck nodded. “She was asking for you. Right this way Sir.”

Bucky followed the nurse down the hallway, up one floor, and through a set of large doors labeled “Obstetrics”. There, in a hospital bed, laying on her side, was YN. Relief flooded Bucky’s face as he strode to the side of the bed, taking her hand in his.

“Buck?”

“Yeah baby, I’m here. How do you feel?”

YN tried for humor, hoping to distract herself from the pain. “Like I am giving birth to a 500 lb elephant.”

Bucky chuckled. “Well, it’s gonna be the cutest damn elephant on the planet.”

YN laughed, then cried out as another contraction tore through her. “Squeeze my hand YN, it will help. I can take it.” he offered.

YN nodded, taking him up on the offer. She grabbed his metal arm and gripped it like she was hanging on the edge of a cliff. Bucky ran his fingers through her hair, wishing he could do more for her. The doctor on call came over to speak to them.

“Hey Doc, I’m YN’s husband. James Barnes.”

The Doctor shook the hand Bucky extended. “Mr. Barnes. YN. You are about 8 cm dilated. However, we need to break the water, and we need to turn the baby around. That’s going to be the hard part. This child seems to like being exactly where he is.”

Bucky frowned. “He?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. We already did an ultrasound to determine if it was safe to deliver tonight. That’s when we discovered the baby was breech and the amniotic fluid sac still needs to drain. You are going to have a son.”

Bucky grinned at the idea, but frowned again. “What can I do to help?”

Dr. Watts looked at the Avenger. “You just being here for her is a tremendous help. Once we break the sac, and the fluid drains, the contractions are going to come more frequently. I wanted to give YN an epidural but she’s too far along, so we can only use minor relaxants and laughing gas.”

YN moaned, interrupting the conversation. Bucky gave a worried glance to his wife, then back to the doctor. “What if the baby doesn’t turn?”

“If the baby hasn’t turned in the next two hours, we will prep her for a C section.” When Buck looked confused, the doc explained, “In other words, we will operate to remove the child. Don’t worry, it’s completely safe. We will take her to a different room, numb the area, cut a small incision on her lower abdomen and bring the child out. It’s a very common procedure, one I have performed many times.”

Buck nodded, but still seemed apprehensive. He watched the doctor bring a tray over and place a large absorbent pad under YN. Then, after rolling her onto her back and putting her legs apart, he took a small sterile stick and quickly inserted it, then pulled it out. Fluids began to gush out, and Bucky looked away, focussing on his wife’s face instead.

Buck placed a kiss on her forehead and stroked her hair. His beautiful YN. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her in his life. She had never treated him with distain or backed away from him. She befriended him right from day one, and they only grew closer after that. He never would have imagined she’d marry him one day, or that he would be a father. But what kind of father would he be? Granted he was a different person today, but he wondered if he could be the kind of role model their child would need.

She moaned again, followed by a strangled cry as a massive contraction hit. She used his hand again, squeezing with a force that would have crushed a billiard ball. He whispered soothing words to her, kissing her forehead and placing his cheek against hers. She seemed to be less agitated when he did this, and the pain didn't seem to bother her as much.

An idea struck him. He’d been fascinated when she would show him her tummy, watching as the baby kicked and moved around inside her. He would talk to the infant, and the first time it responded and touched his cheek, he cried. His heart swelled 10 times in that moment, just when he thought life couldn’t get any better. What if he gently placed his head to her belly, and talked to the infant again. Could he convince it to move?

He carefully rubbed her tummy and put his cheek on it, then spoke. “Hey there, this is your daddy. Can you turn for us? Move around so we can bring you into this world and hold you? Hmmmmm? Could you do that for us? We can’t wait to meet you.”

He continued to stroke her tummy, then stopped when the baby began to move. Bucky watched, completely awestruck, and when he thought he actually saw the head moving down, he waved the doctor over.

“Doc, I think the baby just turned around.”

The doctor didn’t seem as sure, but he hooked up the ultrasound and took a look. Sure enough, the head now sat in the correct position, and YN felt like she wanted to push. The staff quickly put her legs in the stirrups, and set up an area to clean the baby. Bucky held YN’s hand, talking her through breathing as she bore down, pushing with everything she had. Within a few minutes, Bucky heard a tiny cry fill the room, and he kissed his wife.

“Mr. & Mrs. Barnes, congratulations. You have a son.”

The nurse cleaned him and brought him over, handing him to YN first. She kissed the baby’s forehead, holding it close, then looked up at a very excited Bucky. She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips. “Would you like to hold him Buck?”

Bucky nodded. “But I don’t want to hurt him.”

YN shook her head. “You won’t. You can hold him without hurting him. Just support his head.” She helped her husband take the baby in his arms.

He couldn’t believe the miracle he held. He looked like a kid at Christmas, wearing a huge grin as he gently pressed a kiss to the baby’s forehead. “Can you believe we made a tiny person?” he asked.

“Tiny person? God you’re adorable Buck. What do you want to name him?”

The doctor and nurses cleaned YN up and moved her to the recovery area. Bucky asked if the others could be brought in to see the baby, and the nurse nodded, but stated they couldn’t stay too long. A few minutes later, Steve, Tony and Nat were introduced to James Buchanan Barnes the second.

#iclwy800followerchallenge

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