#granted i read them all online and almost never in a real setting EXCEPT for the depression one

[mbat]

no okay but why are all diagnosis forms worded in the worst ways possible so that no one can even tell what they mean. like, at least include examples or something. im remembering reading autism diagnosis things online and they always have one thats like 'repeats words and phrases' and i thought that meant just in general but it means fucking echolalia. like i know most people dont know that word but damn dude

[juniorgman187]

2 Truths & a Lie (Spencer Reid Imagine)

Summary: A game of “Strip 2 Truths and a Lie” helps heats things up between SSA Reader and Spencer. 

Prompt: “Ladies first.” Couple: Spencer Reid x Female Reader Category: Fluff Content Warning: Alcohol consumption, stripping  Word count: 3.5k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“Strip poker!” Garcia slurred. “Let’s play! Let’s play! Let’s play!” 

You had to interject. “No way! If Reid’s playing - I’m not. That’s so unfair.” 

Morgan agreed with you. “Yeah, I’m with Hot Stuff over here. He’s banned from three casinos for a reason.” 

All eyes turned to the aforementioned man, whose smug smile reached from ear to ear. “Fair enough. What can we play then?” He asked. 

It was your turn to scream like a giddy Garcia. “Two truths and a lie!” You jumped up from your seat on the floor. “It’s totally fair cause we’re all profilers here. So it’ll either show how good of a liar you are or show how good of a profiler you are.” 

“Excuse me, Girl Goddess. Need I remind you - I’m not a profiler.” Garcia butted in. 

JJ made a disapproving noise against the brim of her red solo cup. “Hey, hey, hey - you’re like the first to tell when someone’s hiding something.” 

Garcia simply smiled at this. “Ah, you’re right, Jayje.” 

So it was settled. You and the BAU were gonna play “Strip 2 Truths and a Lie.” 

But to make things a little more interesting, you changed up the rules.

The order the players would take turns went in a clockwise circle. Garcia, Morgan, Reid, you, Prentiss, and JJ. (Hotch and Rossi bailed last minute. Apparently, being invited to Garcia’s wasn’t an offer they couldn’t refuse.)

Instead of players guessing what the lie was and stopping once someone guessed correctly, you were all going to guess at the same time. Garcia took the liberty of handing each of your sticky notes and once the player said their two truths and one lie, you would write your guess on your post-it and put it in a pile for the “liar” to read. 

Then the “liar” would declare who was stripping based on who guessed incorrectly. And just for some more fun - the “liar” wouldn’t explicitly tell what the real lie was. You profilers would just have to use context clues to do that. 

Since each player was guessing on post-its, Garcia gave you each a different color to distinguish who guessed what. Granted, it was Garcia, so she had every shade of the rainbow. She gave herself the red, Reid got the orange, you got yellow, Prentiss - green, Morgan got blue. And JJ - purple. 

“I’m first!” Garcia sing-songily said. “Alright - I had a guinea pig named Cerulean when I was little . . . my mom knew how to juggle, andddd, OH! I lost my virginity to a guy I met online with the gamer tag ‘FastAndFurious79.” 

Morgan almost spat out the drink he was nursing from his shock at the last one. “Babygirl, you did what?!” The pitch of his voice sent the rest of you into a frenzy as you each wrote your guesses on your sticky note pads. 

You guessed the lie was the guinea pig. And using your peripherals, you saw that Prentiss thought the same. You folded your yellow sticky note and placed it in the center. Eventually, when the rainbow was complete, Garcia began reading them. “I hate you guys! It’s no fun being friends with profilers.” She pouted. 

“You lost your virginity to a guy with the gamertag ‘fast and furious?!” Morgan screeched. You and the team laughed so hard, your stomach started hurting.

The game continued for an entire round until it was Morgan’s second turn. 

“Alright, growing up my favorite movie was Kindergarten Cop . .  . um, I used to be a lifeguard, and my body count is higher than my age.” 

Reid was quick to jot down his answer, but you took a little time with yours.

“What’s the problem, Hot Stuff?” Morgan teased. 

“Mmm, I dunno. You’ve genuinely got me stumped on this one.” You admitted. Morgan just shot you that infomercial worthy grin as a response. 

Hesitantly, you finally wrote down that he was lying about his favorite moving being Kindergarten Cop. Your sticky note was the last to go in the pile, so you just handed yours to Morgan to speed up the process. He chuckled while going through most of them and looked back up at all of you with that same smug look Reid had earlier. 

“Looks like Pretty Boy and Hot Stuff are the first to strip tonight!” He declared, making you roll your eyes. 

“Your body count isn’t higher than your age?!” Reid squeaked. Morgan laughed and shook his head no. Now that - that was shocking. 

“Alright, what can I take off that counts?” You clarified. 

“Any piece of clothing that covers your legs, arms, and torso.” Morgan happily informed.

It wasn’t fair. On a normal workday, you would have a blazer, pants, or sometimes a skirt, and a blouse or shirt underneath, but today was collectively your guys’ day off - so you only had on a fitted tee and jeans. Whereas the genius to the right of you wore a sweater vest, button-up, tie, belt, and his pants. Before, you would make fun of him for wearing so much on a day off, but now you were envious. 

“Not fair! He’s got like 80 pieces of clothing on.” You whined. The rest of the group, including Reid, laughed at you. Not a single one of them offered mercy. Looks like you were just gonna have to strip off what little clothes you were wearing.

“Ladies first.” 

Reid teased as if he was being a gentleman by saying this. His voice made it sound so subtly seductive that your cheeks heat up. He even said it with the side of his mouth, making his plump lips form a smirk. 

You raised your brows at his cockiness. You wanted to make him eat his words, so you stood up - first, unbuttoning your jeans painfully slow. All eyes were on you as you stuck your thumbs inside the waistband and wiggled your hips, while simultaneously pulling your jeans down. You made a little show out of it, milking the situation. You dragged the denim down while arching your back to flaunt your butt as it was unhurriedly revealed. And just for fun, you angled yourself, where Reid could get the full view. When your jeans dropped to your ankles, you stepped out of them, bent over to retrieve them, and for a finishing touch - you dropped them right onto Reid’s lap. 

“They don’t call me Hot Stuff for nothing.” You flirtatiously remarked. 

“WOO-HOO-HOO! That was sexy, Mamas!” Morgan cheered. The girls all had faces of admiration or surprise on them - mainly admiration. Whereas Reid appeared like he’d just discovered porn or something - like a whole world of possibilities opened up. 

“Hello? Earth to Dr. Reid?” You joked, sitting back down beside him. 

When you felt the floor’s rug against your thong, it shocked you a little, so you moaned at the feeling. Not loud enough for everyone to hear over their laughs and cheers but just loud enough for Reid to. And he most certainly did. Because you caught his tongue sweeping over his lips while his eyes looked at yours. If you weren’t in a group setting, you would’ve straddled him right then and there and kissed him, but you weren’t gonna lose control like that. The question was - would he? And secretly - you were hoping he would. 

“Wow, Y/N. You’ve rendered him speechless. I don’t think that’s ever happened before,” Prentiss quipped. “You should do that more often.” Everyone erupted into another fit of laughter. 

Reid shook his head as if to re-enter reality. “I, uh, I - I’m just gonna take off my belt.” He concluded, fiddling nervously with the buckle. 

“Need some help there?” Before you even finished the question, you put your small fingers around the clasp, making him shiver.

“N-no!” He whimpered, grabbing your wrists in one hand and moving them away from his groin. He continued to unbuckle it and neatly place it behind him. 

The game continued on for many more minutes with Morgan losing his shirt and consequently, Garcia losing her shit (which was understandable because Morgan was RIPPED.) JJ removed her belt, while Garcia took off her cropped cardigan. Prentiss was the only one left who was fully clothed, while you and Reid still hadn’t lost any more articles of clothing since the initial time you did. 

“Alright, alright! Me again!” Garcia giggled, while she downed the rest of whatever was in that red solo cup. “Let’s see. Oh, I got it! Okay, my hair has been dyed every color except for green, I’m the president of a secret club for people that love sea otters, and I’ve had sex more times on the floor than in the bed.” She squealed. 

You weren’t buying that she’s never dyed her hair green, and after a quick side glance to the right, you saw that Reid didn’t buy it either. You folded the paper over your answer and placed it confidently in the center - waiting patiently for the verdict. Garcia zealously scooped up all the post its and scrutinized them. “Uh oh, I think Boy Wonder and Girl Goddess might be out of a job once Sir Hotch finds out how bad they are at detecting lies!” Garcia got so excited she started jumping up and down. You pouted and faked sobs once you heard this. 

“Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!” The group started cheering. 

Just to be the center of attention once more, you stood up and put your right hand under the hem of the left side of your shirt, and you put your left hand under the hem of the right side of your shirt, making your arms cross over your tummy. You pulled the shirt up (sucking in your gut once it was uncovered) all the way until it was finally over your head. You were left in your maroon push up bra and your black lacy thong - a set that didn’t match, but when you looked down at yourself, looked decently good together. 

The “crowd” gasped at your figure in its entirety. Encouraging words were spewed at you, making you smile. 

“Alright, your turn.” You nudged Reid. He simply slipped off his sweater vest, quite ungracefully might you add. But little did you know that he lost all coordination after seeing you so bare. 

“Here.” He whispered, removing his tie from his collar. He began unbuttoning his dress shirt, which you didn’t understand why, until he shrugged it off of himself and helped you into it. You weren’t surprised in the least when you saw that underneath his white button-up was a cotton tee. Of course, he had even more layers than you previously thought. 

“Aww, look at that.” Prentiss said with awe at Reid’s actions. 

While Reid rolled up the long sleeves until he saw your hands peek through, all you could manage to do was look at him. He bit his lip while he did this, showing how focused he was on the task. He was absolutely adorable. 

“Do you want me to button it for you?” He quietly asked. You shook your head no. “It’s okay. Thank you.” If you could’ve seen yourself, you would’ve seen that your eyes had hearts in them. You were the epitome of lovesick. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

When he stopped helping you dress, you couldn’t help but notice the outfit he was left to wear. It was a plain white tee with gray dress pants and his classic black converse. How he managed to look so good in such a simple outfit was beyond you. It was quite unfair actually. You thought his normal quirky attire suit him pretty well but this outfit made you feel something you’d never felt before. Your eyes drifted up to his hair, which since he cut it last year, was growing out again but was still short. It was the perfect length and had a little curl and unruliness to it - just the way you liked. It looked so soft that you were overcome with a sudden overwhelming urge to run your fingers through it, but you willed yourself not to.

“I think someone’s in love over there.” Morgan pointed to you, making you snap out of your trance. 

“What? NO!” You shrieked. 

“Oh my god, you totally are.” Prentiss giggled. 

“Somebody likes Reid.” JJ sing-songily teased before sipping at her drink and looking away. 

“OK, enough with the crazy talk. We’re all a little too drunk to be making such claims.” You concluded. “I think maybe it’s time to go home.” You hastily said, trying to change the topic. 

“Mmm-mmm,” Morgan disapprovingly shook his head. “None of us should be driving right now. Even Reid.” Reid looked slightly offended at the comment, but he couldn’t deny it. He’d only had one drink, but everyone knew Reid was a lightweight. 

“Why don’t you guys just crash here?” Garcia slurred. No one objected, so the sleeping arrangement was made. Morgan and Garcia would sleep in Garcia’s bed. JJ on the beanbag. Prentiss on the loveseat. And you and Reid on the couch. 

“Me and Reid?” You asked Garcia. 

“Uh-huh,” She nodded rapidly. “You’ll fit. Just spoon!” She said with joyful elation.

“Uh ohh, Reid and Y/N sittin’ in a tree. C-U-D-D-L-I-N-G.” Morgan jested. 

“Shut up!” Reid chucked a pillow at Morgan’s face - which he caught before it even touched his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll just sleep on the floor.” Reid told you.

“No, don’t be silly. We share the couch on the jet all the time.” You told him. Covertly, you were hoping he wouldn’t argue against it. There were certainly worse things you could do than cuddle with Reid. Just as you wanted, he didn’t contend. 

“Here.” He handed you your jeans and t-shirt, which you took but didn’t put back on. 

“Do you mind if I stay in this? There’s no way I can fall asleep in my jeans,” He blinked hard as if to process what you were saying but didn’t dispute. “I’ll be back.” You disclosed while walking to Garcia’s bathroom to put on your shirt and take off your bra. You came back out, feeling a cold breeze. Unbeknownst to you, the cold air hardened your nipples, but this was not lost on Reid. He let himself get a glimpse of the sight while he laid on the couch, waiting for you to join him. 

“You’re really gonna sleep in your pants?” You asked him, not even trying to imply anything sexual. 

“Would you mind if I took them off?” He shyly questioned. 

You shook your head as if to say, “No, not at all.” 

He slid them down before you took your spot on the couch. While Reid’s back was against the backrest, your back was right up against his chest. This was the position you’d normally be in if you were on the jet. Something that surprisingly - the team never teased you for. It was as if everyone just accepted it as something normal. Something totally natural. 

Except in this instance, Garcia’s couch was surprisingly not as wide as the jet’s, so you had to scoot back a little to fit. However, you didn’t anticipate how close Reid already was to you. So when you backed up, (for lack of a better term) you made ass-to-dick contact. 

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” You nervously blurted. Reid uncomfortably laughed it off. 

“No, no. You’re fine.” He reassured you. It was enough to convince you to settle back down and cuddle up to Reid again. 

Despite doing this countless amounts of times before, there was something about this time that made you feel differently. You thought that your heart might sooner beat out of your chest. The rhythm vibrated through your entire body, and you honestly worried that the beat was so loud that Reid could hear it. After 30 minutes of this, the whole house was knocked out - except for you. You harbored too much nervous energy to fall asleep.

“Are you feeling okay? You’re breathing really hard.” Reid murmured, his quiet voice shocking you. Damn it, he wasn’t asleep either? Leave it to him to pick up on your unnatural breathing patterns. You told Reid it was nothing, but he didn’t leave it alone. “How can I help you sleep?”Once more, you told him you were just fine. “Can I just try something? My mom used to do this for me when I couldn’t fall asleep,” You reluctantly agreed. “Turn around.” He softly commanded. 

You did as asked, turning towards him. Now that you were face-to-face, Reid took his arm that was by his side before and put it over your body, with his hand on your back. You felt his warm touch move from between your shoulder blades, down your spine, all the way to the small of your back. He moved up and down repeatedly, sometimes adding pressure along the way. Your eyes closed at the pleasure. 

“Does that feel good?” He asked sweetly, but even then, you couldn’t help but imagine him asking that same question in a very different scenario. 

You couldn’t be bothered to speak real words, so you hummed in tranquility. 

He kept doing this until he noticed your breathing started to slow down. It was working. 

The last thought you had before falling asleep completely was of how you never wanted this moment to end. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“How long should we wait until we wake them?” You heard JJ ask. Her voice seemed so distant for some reason. “Mmm, I give it five more minutes.” Morgan’s voice chirped. Now his voice seemed to be closer. 

“Should I take another picture?” Garcia asked. Wait a minute - her voice was louder now too. 

You groggily opened your eyes, wincing at the brightness of your surroundings. 

“Oh, I think Hot Stuff’s awake.” Morgan’s words sobered you up enough to lift your head and examine your surroundings. 

Reid’s face was buried into your chest, while your hand was in his hair. Your leg wrapped around Reid’s lower body, with his hand hooked on the back of your knee, hiking it up even further and keeping your leg in its place. You began realizing just how provocative the scene was, so you startled yourself out of it. Like the clumsy goof you are, you rolled out of Reid’s embrace, but with no extra space to roll over onto, you tumbled to the floor gracelessly. This woke up Reid and made the four viewers hovering over the couch die laughing. 

“Not funny.” You groaned, clutching your side in pain after collapsing onto the floor. 

“What happened?” Reid yawned. 

“What happened was you and Hot Stuff got pretty comfortable on Garcia’s sofa.” Morgan sounded way too happy to tell Reid this. 

You looked back at Reid with a frown, noticing how he looked like he was a child that had just been caught doing something bad. 

“Maybe next time we play Strip 2 Truths and a Lie, they’ll finally admit they like each other.” Prentiss giggled, mentioning you and Reid as if you weren’t in their presence. 

“Be quiet!” You and Reid simultaneously yelped. 

You buried your face into a throw pillow that had been discarded on the floor, probably from where you and Reid took up all the space on the couch. As you hid your face in embarrassment, you heard the quartet move away from the scene and into the kitchen, leaving you and Reid to your devices. 

“Sorry about them.” He finally said. His voice was all raspy from where he’d just woken up and all you could think was - YOU’RE KILLING ME. How did he make everything he did so sexy?

“Me, too.” You uttered, removing the pillow from your face to hug it in your arms like a child hugging their toy. From behind you, Reid sat up and swung his legs to the front of the couch to stand up and help you up from your sitting position on the floor. 

“For what it’s worth, I don’t regret anything,” He told you when you’d risen to eye level with him. You smiled to suggest that you felt the same way. “You know, maybe we could do this again . . . without the audience.” He cocked his head backward to gesture to the rest of the group. 

“Only if you promise to give me back rubs again.” You beamed. 

The look on Reid’s face was priceless. It was as if he’d just been told he won the lottery. You walked away from him with the same stupid grin on your face that he had on his. 

“Hey, wait I’m gonna need that shirt back!” He called out from behind you as you moved swiftly into Garcia’s bathroom to change. 

“I guess you’ll have to come pick it up from my apartment tonight.” You yelled back to him, lingering in the doorway. His smile was your answer.

Well - looks like you have plans tonight.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

[gabenathreversebang]

GabeNath Reverse Bang 2020 Masterpost

Lady in Blue

When Gabriel akumatizes Audrey again, it goes awry and backfires on him. When he, Ladybug and Chat Noir are compromised, Nathalie decides it’s time for her to take matters into her own hands.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Changing Hearts and Changing Tides

The Agreste boys and their plus one, Nathalie, have decided to spend the week in a cabin by the coast. While Gabriel tries to mend his fractured relationship with Adrien, Nathalie is more or less there to keep the peace, but she soon finds herself out of her depth. With emotions shifting as frequently as the tide can the trio band together and take strides towards the future, or will they be swept out to sea and left hanging?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Your Sword and Shield

The last time the Graham de Vanilys showed up to the Agreste mansion, they proved they are not to be trusted. Nathalie should have known Amelie would go to treacherous lengths to get under her skin. After a tense confrontation and the shocking reveal of a new villain, Nathalie must step into a new role to protect the one she loves.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

A Moment of Reflection

After a particularly upsetting defeat, Gabriel is feeling like it might be time to throw in the butterfly brooch and move on. Nathalie tries to encourage him to continue but even she has some reservations about the idea. The two have a heart to heart over some brandy and learn things about each other.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

well, of course i’ve tried lavender

K O E L N @archekoeln you think, i didn’t know mayura was the type to resort to something like this? but you’re wrong, because now you’re being carried like a sack of potatoes above paris and, 3/11

K O E L N @archekoeln well, the view’s nice and all but you’re also in the arms of a villain??? 4/11

K O E L N @archekoeln you also think, how is she so strong??? because you know you aren’t as light as a feather (haha i’m funny) and her arms are skinny af, but you know, magic i guess 5/11

or

An online thread about Mayura sparks something in Gabriel. And as her boss (and friend, and villainous partner, and her something), isn’t it his job to… to do what exactly? Well, even he doesn’t know.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

Superheroes, in daily life, usually remained hidden. Men and women, bestowed with god-like powers, living among those whose only powers remained in their knowledge and talents. One of these heroes was Mayura, a peacock-themed superheroine with the power to create new life. As more laborers were going on strike, Mayura’s efforts to keep the economy from deflating were more crucial than ever. Because of her, livelihoods were kept intact for the destitute. For the corporate overlords, however, she was the bane of their luxurious existence. But what does this mean to Gabriel Agreste?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Broken Arrow

Ordinary innkeeper Nathalie is plagued with visions of a captive Gabriel, begging for help. She sets out to recruit his son Adrien, the Demigod of Love, to aid her in freeing Gabriel from Emilie, the goddess of beauty. But Nathalie doesn’t know the secret that Adrien keeps from her that may tear them all apart.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Gabriel’s Inferno

Nothing seemed to predict how it all would end, and yet it had to have been obvious. It had been weeks since Mayura’s last appearance and he didn’t even let her go out to fight in person, but a broken miraculous doesn’t get carried away by precautions once it’s activated. With Nathalie balancing between life and death, Gabriel will have the opportunity to fix things or lose himself forever in a hellish battle that will overcome all nightmares.

Fanfic (English), archived Fanfic (Spanish), archived Art, archived

If I Could Turn Back Time

Gabriel and Nathalie obtain the rabbit miraculous and travel into the paths of time as Velveteen and Mayura, with the goal of preventing the chain of events that would lead to Emilie’s death. But on their way to Tibet, they encounter surprising visions of possible futures that leave them questioning what is possible and what they really want.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

This is Hallowe’en

With All Hallow’s Eve hanging over their heads, the Agreste household gets wrapped into celebrating Samhain. With Gabriel and Adrien following Nathalie’s knowledgeable path, they can not fail, probably. This moderately functional family will honor Emilie Agreste in the best ways they can.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Malleable Fates

A red thread starts materializing around Gabriel’s finger nearly two decades after he’s already found his soulmate. As he and Nathalie devise a faultless plan to finally win Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous and bring back his wife, Gabriel fights the onslaught of confusing feelings brought about the mysterious reappearance of his soulmate string - including the sneaking suspicion that his soulmate maybe isn’t who she used to be.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Splintered Soul Staring Back At Me

In the aftermath of the battle and a brief hospital stay, Nathalie is safe at home. Her recovery has been a bit stagnant, but she’s been granted leave from work and the miraculous is finally fixed. Things can only go up from here, right?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

With the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wing

It only took one little thing, the barest of moments, for Duusu to feel their love, and decide that they had to do something about it. Which was how Duusu ended up roping Nooroo into trying everything under the sun to match up their two stubborn holders.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Orders He Defies

After her husband’s death, Nathalie Sancoeur fell into deep despair. Determined to bring him back, she set her goal on obtaining the Black Cat and Ladybug miraculous, using the power of her own one. All her attempts for the last year, however, were futile. Should she remain careful? Or should she let it all burn, as her assistant Gabriel suggests she should? And is the goal even worth its price?

Fanfic (English), archived Fanfic (Ukranian), archived Art, archived

Royal Pain

Nathalie liked to think that she would make a pretty good king. If she had been born as the opposite sex, anyways. But as the facts were, Princess Nathalie Sancoeur had a duty thrust upon her that she would rather have not, all things considered: to be married to a foreign prince, in order to bring good fortune to her family and kingdom, and bolster their strength should the rapidly-cooling relations with one of the neighboring countries turn into a full-blown war. It was enough to make her gag every time she thought of it.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Dancing on Broken Glass

It was Lila that almost reduced Paris to rubble.It was that conflict that caused an irreversible change to two miraculous holders.It was that change that brought them together.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Anagnorisis

«Define Hubris»

Gabriel never considered how much a Deus Ex Machina would cost.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Worth

It’s been seventeen years since Nathalie and Gabriel sat in the cramped studio working hard to get the brand off the ground, and now he can’t help but reflect on those long-forgotten years.

Before Emilie. Before Adrien. Before the money and fame.

As he looks at her across his desk… he wonders if it was all worth it.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

A Witch’s Desire

Gabriel Agreste was a peculiar man, who was known around town both as a famous fashion designer and a powerful witch who was able to read and control minds, though he never used that second power unless there was a real emergency. Heck, he barely even used the first. But after losing his wife, Gabriel becomes desperate to do anything he can to bring her back, even that means using his powers for evil, or tracking down a mysterious powerful witch who had disappeared many years ago, with the power to bring the dead back to life.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Not a Minute of Peace

Even though the akuma wants to shackle them, the Collector and Catalyst have more freedom than Gabriel and Nathalie ever had. They may be criminals turned into prey, but they enjoy the hunt. There is only one thing they are running from.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Revision

Nathalie made the wish.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Woman With The Golden Feathers

The annual Bourgeois masquerade comes at the right time for Gabriel. In a moment of personal uncertainty after his discreet divorce, he will find the possible answer in a mysterious lady with golden feathers.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Time and Time Again

The stress of being a young designer trying to make it in the fashion industry is taking its toll, and Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s marriage is slowly unraveling.

They’ve stood the tests of life since their first year of university, but when everything comes crashing down, Gabriel finds himself stuck reliving the day it happened. Failing and falling, time and time again with every passing ‘day’. Why is he here? How can he stop it? The answer lies in a choice as to what matters more: his career or the woman who has stood by him through it all.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Clarity

A year after Hawkmoth’s surrender, Gabriel asks Nathalie to join him to gaze at the stars. While she waits for him, she contemplates the empty space left by the removal of the portrait from the foyer hall. Growth ensues for them both as they learn to just be by each other’s side.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

C’est la Vie; C’est le Ballet

After the death of his wife, upstart choreographer Gabriel Agreste is looking for a new star for his ballet, Miraculous. Hard to please and willing to do whatever it takes for the sake of the show, none of the auditionees fit his artistic vision…

…except Nathalie, a former prima ballerina turned ballet instructor. She’s stoic and very dedicated to her craft, but there’s a reason she stopped performing four years ago and it has dangerous potential.

Through the trials and triumphs and betrayals that run hand in hand with the world of ballet, Gabriel and Nathalie begin to find something more in each other’s company, and perhaps the seeds of new beginnings.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

I’m Praying (There’s Saving)

It was to be Gabriel’s first party on Olympus, but little did he know it would also be the last. Not only for him, but for everyone. In the blink of an eye everything changed, sending the god of nature and his newborn son to take refuge with the Queen of the Dead. They thought they were safe, but even the depths of the underworld couldn’t escape the King’s wrath forever.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

[faraway-in-headspace]

I?? I searched Chicken Choice Judy on google out of curiosity because it sounds oddly familiar like there’s a similar-sounding name and I found 4 websites selling the shirt design. But the descriptions on these pages are BUCK WILD??

Written version of the descriptions under the cut (very long).

[Begin ID

First image states:  Long ago, when I had hair, I was an undergrad living in a house with nine other men. Near as I can tell, three of them (not sure which three) never bought food, just lived off what they stole from the Chicken Choice Judy shirt But I will love this other seven. We had several house meetings about it, but nothing changed. One day, I came in from grocery shopping. By coincidence, all 10 of us were in the kitchen. I started putting my stuff away. 1st thing I pulled out of the bag was my half-gallon of milk. I opened the carton, took a couple of drinks from the carton, then gargled some of it, and spit it back in. I opened my tub of margarine and licked the whole surface. By now, the room chatter had stopped because the other nine jaws had dropped open.) To your original question, those specific topics would take several years to build, as they depend on several layers of pre-requisites, which would require either that more advanced topics such as algebraic topology to be taught in elementary school, or that the buildup process happened blazingly fast during high school – both of which probably stretch the biological limits of what pre-teens and teenagers can reasonably be expected to accomplish. I spit on all my veggies, took the bread out of the package, and licked and spit on it, then carefully put it all back in the plastic bag. Remind teenage daughters to look through them before going on date with the boyfriend, in case they want to use one. I labeled it all and put it away. None of it was stolen. I never said a word, but I made it a point to repeat the performance anytime anyone was around to see it. Others began to emulate my approach and food theft stopped. Even I found it revolting, but it solved the problem. Works even better if you are sick or can at least make your thieving roommates think you are. While some cities are starting to reopen in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, people around the country are continuing to wear masks in public and practice social distancing. Vogue is committed to staying safe, and offering hopeful, optimistic content that highlights moments of camaraderie and exceptional acts of heroism from around the world. We are all looking for a little comfort too—be it a soothing Instagram account or a stylish creator on TikTok. It reminds us of the power of little things.

Second image states:  A couple of guests informed me my office was too minimalist and that they expected more things to be hanging on my wall the Chicken Choice Judy shirt besides I will buy this next time they visited my wife’s and my home. I kinda hope they held their breath while they were waiting for our next invitation. They both went on to backstab me and my wife pretty bad a few years later. Another set of guests tried to squat. I had driven them all the way from Florida to Massachusetts under the impression that they had jobs and a place to live lined up. They offered no money for gas, hotels on the three-day trip, or compensation for the inconvenience and effort. He even tried to weasel out of the dinner he offered as a thank you by forgetting his wallet. The dude got me off the streets years ago and I wanted to pay him back in some way, but my wife and I were in no position to have extra residents in our home. We just don’t have the room or money. I made all of this VERY clear and told my old buddy that we could only house them for a couple of days max. There are MANY other details, but the disrespectful thing my former friend said was wordless. As I was kicking them out and they were angrily loading stuff into my car to bring them anywhere but here, my buddy left his gigantic knife right in the center of my wife’s desk. Like that was supposed to make us change our minds and let them stay? In the days of dial-up, I had a family call and not be able to get through because we were online. They decided to show up unannounced. They literally caught me in my underwear as they were let into the apartment before I could even react to being rudely surprised. Some of my family members have a history of abuse, violence, and stalking, something at least one of the visitors, my mother, was quite aware of since she lived through it with me. Her tagalong friend decided to put in her two cents and tell me I should get a call waiting or a second line because they were trying to call me. That did it! I suddenly forgot I was just wearing underwear and angrily asked my mother’s friend if she was paying my phone bill. My mother-in-law, stepfather and mom’s friend beat a hasty retreat and NEVER did the pop-in ever again.

Third image states:  That was why when we did get to reality shows, Etro and then Dolce & Gabbana plus Jacquemus later in France, it was wonderful. Clothes are all about contact: As a wearer, you feel them on your skin, and as a watcher, you process them with your eye. The watching part can be done secondhand, but the Chicken Choice Judy shirt in contrast I will get this impact will always be second to the real thing. I read some commentators in the U.S. saying, “Too soon” or “Wear a damn mask!” which I always did, but these opinions while valid enough lack perspective. Milan and its surrounding region Lombardy went through what New York did but earlier. Through sagacious governmental management much more effective than that of the U.S., Italy has managed dramatically to flatten the curve across the rest of its territory. These shows just like the reopening of flights, stores, factories, and restaurants were symptomatic of recovery that, far from being taken for granted, is being tended to with vigilance and cherished with gratitude. The digital Fashion Weeks were better than no Fashion Weeks at all, but as an upgrade on the real thing? Nah. Like everyone, I missed the shows in the experiential sense this season. But for the first time since I began covering the collections several years ago, I didn’t miss a single brand or designer’s contribution to Paris Fashion Week. Which is to say, thanks to the Fédération’s online platform, I was able to watch every name on the haute couture and men’s calendars. This brand on-demand convenience not to mention being spared the logistical headaches of zigzagging across the city was pretty great. Also, everything was on time, from the films to the manner in which we filed our reviews. While efficiency can be satisfying, it’s not necessarily exciting. Ultimately, we had to accept that the focus this season wasn’t going to be the clothes but rather the brands conveying some combination of identity, process, and values. And in the absence of standardized criteria as in, showing a minimum number of looks, specifying a time range, it was interesting to observe how heterogeneous these experiments proved to be quasi–ad campaigns versus short films, conceptual or fantastical visions versus raw and documentary style. A proper kimono takes nearly an hour to put on – I’m sure most Japanese girls would much rather spend a few seconds and slip on a dress. Get survey responses from targeted consumers today.

Fourth image states:  Around a decade ago, not long after he started his own label, Massimo Alba made a great mistake. A batch of shirts and T-shirts he was working on that had already been garment-dyed one color were mistakenly exposed to another. Speaking at his showroom presentation this weekend, Alba said: “It’s very interesting to me that so many good things start out as mistakes like this.” That accident was to Alba what the Chicken Choice Judy shirt moreover I will buy this mold-infected petri dish was to Alexander Fleming: a stumbled-upon eureka that led to a career-defining course of the investigation. This collection featured a series of softly tailored jackets, corduroy pants, and shorts, plus light cashmere sweaters that were hand-overdyed two, and sometimes three colors. It’s a process that led to variations in tone that included acid-trip floods of purple on purple to subtle bleeding of magenta across mustard yellow. Like most of Alba’s garments, these dyed pieces appeared at first glance conventionally prosaic. The more attention you gave them, however, the more their exceptional qualities became evident. Take a pale blue jacket, for instance, which at that first glance seemed passingly related to a surgeon’s scrubs. To the hand it was light and almost textureless in its softness: The fabric was a cotton mousseline developed for Alba by Albini. Long-sleeved, in a delicately mottled finish of washed-out sky blue, it made for an ideal mid-summer shake in pink, sleeveless, it was an impactful shirting second skin. Other interesting developments this season included a cotton pant named the Myles with acutely kinking stitched gather at knee-level on both legs and another handsome pant, baggy in white poplin, with patch pockets. A blue tropical weight jacket named the Lenny, after Bernstein, was Alba’s interpretation of a bohemian creative’s ideal piece of workwear. Collarless shirts in ripstop linen and button-up short-sleeves in terry were further finely effective coups de théâtre. Alba is a self-deprecating yet dangerous designer: Try just one carefully chosen piece and that’s it, you’re spoiled for good because nobody else quite compares. The museum in Prague where this portrait is held describes the ring on her first finger as the ring given to her at her wedding. It’s not comfortable. Maybe a lot of girls think that a see-through blouse can attract the attention of boys or they think that it will make her look much smarter. Meghan has no dress sense: no knowledge of fabrics, fit, styles that flatter, proper tailoring, Her father raised her in L.A. Enough said. Her idea of dressing for an event is “dress up” like a little girl dressing up as a princess. Shiny! Tight! Celebrity “fashion” not elegant, just flashy.

/end ID]

[the-busy-ghost]

Hi! I hope you're well - I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for interesting & engaging "introductory" texts about Scottish history (particularly between 500 and 1500 AD, although I know that's really broad!) No worries if you don't have any ideas or don't feel like answering such a vague question though! Have a lovely day :)

Hi! 

Apologies for the delayed response on this, I have no real excuse except being anxious that I wouldn’t be able to answer it perfectly. So I’ve decided to bite the bullet and answer somewhat imperfectly. This answer also depends on just exactly how much knowledge you already have of Scottish history, so if I’m being patronising and assuming too much ignorance, or alternatively if I’m not being clear enough, please let me know. 

The first thing I would always recommend before diving into serious literature is having a basic framework in the back of your mind. It may be an inaccurate framework but given that mediaeval Scottish history really isn’t taught or known to the same extent as say mediaeval English history, it is essential that you know where you are on a basic level, so you can both enjoy and learn from the texts that go into more detail. This basic background can come from almost anything- Braveheart and blatantly inaccurate novels aside. 

This is quite freeing because basically reading almost ANYTHING can be useful at first, and also first and foremost if you’re going to devote a considerable amount of time to something, you should work out how to make it fun and understandable.

I always had some idea of Scottish history since I was a kid but I got more into it in my late teens and I’ll be honest, though I probably don’t agree with anything in it pages now, one of the first books I picked up at the age of about sixteen was Neil Oliver’s ‘History of Scotland’ (released alongside the documentary series). Any basic ‘History of Scotland’ of that type (if it looks reasonably reputable) should give you a basic framework that you can build on- in the same way some people learn the kings and queens of England. Wikipedia could also work this way, though it may be more patchy. Other, slightly more reputable and in-depth but not really textbook, works of this kind include Stewart Ross’ “The Stewart Dynasty”; Alistair Moffat’s ‘The Borders’; popular (if coloured) biographies of people like Robert the Bruce, William Wallace, and Mary Queen of Scots (she’s post-medieval but still a relevant example); and even some of the older Victorian histories of people like Tytler (watch out though, they get weirdly ‘ethnic’ in their interpretations of some historical events and processes- some were convinced that there was a centuries-long feud between the “Celt” and the “Teuton”/”Saxon”). Even novels and songs- though sometimes highly inaccurate- can help with this, even if they’re Walter Scott. 

So I’m not going to be a purist and get snobby about Neil Oliver or Walter Scott even if I would never set store by any of the above works in an academic context (or even just a drunken argument). The first step in my view is literally to get a basic feel for what we *think* our history is (and enjoy learning about the different regions and cultures a bit!), and then you can set about dismantling all these stereotypes and misconceptions with better books. 

If you DO want a reasonably trustworthy general overview though, I believe that Fiona Watson has written one called “Scotland: From Prehistory to Present” and there must be a few others written by academics, it’s just been so long since I’ve read completely general histories I can’t really comment on this accurately.

Assuming you’re already aware of the above though and have a pretty good idea of what you’re dealing with then there are two next steps I would recommend.

The first are the series of texbooks/overviews that are often published by universities. Obviously since these are textbooks they are more introductory and general, but they do often cite academic articles and books that are more detailed. I have found a couple of series particularly useful and outlined the main titles below:

- The “New History of Scotland” series. This is a good series as most of the books were initially A5 sized or slightly bigger (so quick to read and easy to carry). Sadly this means that they do not employ footnotes/citations to any great extent, usually only providing a ‘Further Reading’ section at the end of the book. You can usually find old copies of these online for a reasonable price. This series includes, among others:

- “Warlords and Holy Men: Scotland, 80-1000”, by Alfred P  Smyth

- “Kingship and Unity: Scotland, 1000-1306″, by G.W.S. Barrow 

- “Independence and Nationhood: Scotland, 1306-1469″, by             Alexander Grant. (This one has a particularly good basic overview of diet, trade, e.t.c.)

- “Court, Kirk, and Community: Scotland, 1470-1625″, by Jenny Wormald

- “Power and Propaganda: Scotland, 1306-1488″, by Katie Stevenson (note- the previous titles listed were written in the 1980s and 90s, but this one was added to the series in 2014, so it’s more up to date in some ways though it’s up to you whether you think it’s more persuasive).

- The “New Edinburgh History of Scotland” series. These are bigger books than the previous series and are complete with on page citations and bibliography. They tend to all come in matching blue jackets, and I thought that secondhand copies of these would be slightly more expensive than the above but a quick search on amazon has surprised me, since a copy of Oram’s “Domination and Lordship” is several pounds cheaper than Grant’s “Independence and Nationhood”. Anyway these are slightly more in-depth than the above series, but work very well in tandem with those shorter books. The series includes:

- “From Pictland to Alba: 789-1070″, by Alex Woolf (it is a very long time since I read this, so I have to admit I have very little memory of its contents but I put it here for balance)

- “Domination and Lordship: Scotland, 1070-1230″, by Richard Oram (good used along with Kingship and Unity)

- “The Wars of Scotland, 1214-1371″, by Michael Brown

- “The First Stewart Dynasty In Scotland, 1371-1488″, by Stephen Boardman (full disclosure I have not read this one yet, but I have read some of Boardman’s other books).

- “Scotland Reformed, 1488-1587″, by Jane E.A. Dawson

- The “History of Everyday Life” series. These books are collections of essays on some selected aspects of day to day life in medieval Scotland and can provide some interesting reading and insights. Only one of the books in this series is relevant to our time period, but it may be worth checking out the other three since some customs and behavioural patterns from more recent times are worth comparing with the past. The volume covering the medieval period is “A History of Everyday Life in Medieval Scotland, 1000-1600″, edited by Edward Cowan and Lizanne Henderson.

- The “Northern World” series. This is not a series I’m particularly familiar with outside of some light reading while at university (mostly because these books can be really expensive compared to the previous ones mentioned). HOWEVER not only do they range across northern Europe (not just Scotland) but a couple of them help to balance out the Lowland focus which sometimes predominates in the above general overviews. There are quite a few interesting books in this series (identifiable usually by their purple jackets) but some that I know of include:

- “Kinship and Clientage: Highland Clanship, 1451-1609″ by Alison Cathcart.

- “The Lordship of the Isles”, edited by Richard Oram (this is a collection of essays)

There was also an older “Edinburgh History of Scotland” series published in the 1970s- some of the authors were better than others and they’re a bit dated now but they’re still a useful starting point. The series includes:

- “Scotland, the Making of the Kingdom”, by A.A.M. Duncan

- “Scotland: The Later Middle Ages”, by Ranald Nicholson

There are lots of other book series out there- the St Andrews Studies in Scottish History or the publications of old literature by the Scottish Text Society for example but I think I’ve listed enough to be getting on with. There are also a few books that I think make good general overviews (or are collections of interesting essays) that aren’t in a particular series:

- “Women in Scotland, 1100-1750”, edited by Elizabeth Ewan and Maureen M Meikle (this is a collection of essays rather than an overview of women’s history but it’s a good starter, and great if you only have fifteen minutes to spare)

- “Glory and Honour: The Renaissance in Scotland”, by Andrea Thomas (a beautiful coffee table book with lots of pictures of art and architecture). It starts in 1424.

- “The Kingdom of the Isles: Scotland’s Western Seaboard, c.1100-c.1336″, by R. Andrew MacDonald

- “The Black Douglases”, Michael Brown

- “Robert the Bruce’s Rivals: The Comyns, 1212-1314″, by Alan Young

- “The Northern Earldoms: Orkney and Caithness, 870-1470″, by Barbara E. Crawford

- “Scottish Independence and the Idea of Britain: From the Picts to Alexander III”, by Dauvit Broun

- “Virgins and Viragos: A History of Women in Scotland From 1080 to 1980″, by Rosalind K Marshall (Marshall has also written some good introductory overviews on Scottish queens, on Mary of Guise, and on the women around Mary, Queen of Scots, though these last two are sixteenth century).

- Any of Alexander Fenton’s books on agricultural history- they don’t deal exclusively (or even mainly) with the medieval period, and they’re not the most up to date but they are still useful handbooks.

There are also lots of shorter academic articles on JSTOR and elsewhere, as well as online networks for things like Scottish Women’s History and Environmental History. 

The second step I would recommend is using biographies- biography is not always the most useful form of historical writing, but they do have their own benefits. For this time period most of the full book-length biographies of individuals are royal figures (though lots of other people are covered in academic articles).

For some figures it’s wise to have several biographies on hand since they’re well-known or controversial- for example, for Robert Bruce, you could start with an older bio like G.W.S. Barrows “Robert Bruce and the Community of the Realm of Scotland” and then supplement it with a more modern biography like that written by Michael Penman or by Colm McNamee. In other cases, a historical figure may not be quite so well known so jumping straight into an academic biography of them, which hops around and analyses expenditure and parliaments, may be a bit confusing- for example, for King James IV, it may be useful to start with R.L. Mackie’s (admittedly dated and a bit romantic) biography to get an idea of the structure of the king’s reign before diving into Norman MacDougall’s more scholarly biography.

Other biographies/overview of royal reigns include Richard Oram’s works on David I and Alexander II; D.D.R. Owen’s bio of William the Lion (this is an interesting one, since it’s written by a French professor rather than a straightforward historian so there’s a big focus on the importance of literature); Andrew Fisher’s bio of William Wallace; Stephen Boardman’s survey of the reigns of Robert II and Robert III; the two biographies of James I written by E.W.M. Balfour-Melville and Michael Brown; Christine McGladdery’s ‘James II’ and Norman McDougall’s ‘James III’; and Annie Dunlop’s biography of Bishop Kennedy.

Lastly once you feel you’ve got a bit of a grip on some secondary source material (or really, as soon as you like) I do recommend checking out some of the primary source material as soon as possible. A LOT of primary sources of medieval Scottish history were printed during the Victorian and Edwardian periods and now thanks to digitisation projects many of them are available online- from chronicles like those of Melrose, John of Fordun and Andrew Wyntoun (and useful English chronicles like Lanercost and Scalachronica); to acts of parliament and accounts of royal expenditure (Treasurer’s Accounts; Exchequer Rolls); to letters of the nobility and poetry. Personally, I find that you learn as much from working directly with the words of historical figures themselves, even if you’re untrained in source handling, as you would from a whole host of textbooks (also it lets you get used to the languages- Scots is straightforward enough to pick up even if you don’t have Latin or Gaelic). If you ever have trouble finding these let me know and I might be able to point you in the right direction. 

It is also worth bearing in mind that sixteenth century sources may shed a lot of light on earlier periods.

Anyway hopefully this helped but if you have any other questions please let me know and I will endeavour to reply quicker this time!

*One last disclaimer, the above list of texts is based purely on my own experiences and what my brain could remember quickly- it is not to reflect a bias or to promote these texts above the works of other historians. It is also not an exhaustive or comprehensive list (and some dearly beloved books are not included- but I tried to stick to simple overviews/textbooks and a few other interesting surveys).

And people are very welcome to add to this since there’s lots I’ve missed!

Lastly try to have a bit of fun with it. Some of these books are very informative but can drag at times- on those occasions I highly recommend taking a break and trying to get outside to a hill or a castle, or if you can’t do that try putting an old ballad on on youtube, and physically look at or listen to the thing you’re studying.

[tabletoptrinketsbyjj]

Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses

Hey folks,

My name is JJ and since March 2017 I’ve been working on this blog of D&D related homebrew content for your looting needs. I’ve gotten lots of positive feedback from people and I’m very appreciative of everyone who has written to me or shared the tables on their own blogs or with friends and gaming groups. I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has taken the time and energy to read through my tables, I know people lead busy lives and homebrew content is everywhere online. What I would like to talk about right now is balance for this blog’s homebrew material and how I decide what to include or not include in the tables and how that might help a DM justify using homebrew my homebrew material in their campaign without breaking the game or providing a wild power imbalance between their players.

To start off, I’d like to say that I have a decent background in RPG games in a variety of different systems with most of my time playing, Pathfinder, D&D 3.5 and 5th Edition. For balance purposes for this blog I have tried to be system neutral, talking about skills, benefits and mechanics in general terms so that the trinkets (Especially magic objects) can be easily worked into D&D, Exalted or Numenera alike. For general bonuses and negatives I have taken language from 5th edition D&D, namely the Advantage/Disadvantage system because I find it simple and straightforward. Since I primarily play D&D 5e now I gear a lot of the wording of objects towards it and d20 systems in general. Although this article can be used to talk about balance in a number of different systems, any specifics are usually aimed at D&D 5e.

While I'd like to talk about all of the different types of trinkets I have on my blog, this post will focus exclusively on Masterwork Weapons. While this concept was standard in D&D 3.5 and Pathfinder (And similar ideas can be found in other systems), it does not exist in 5e, which I find disappointing because I like the idea of an exceptionally crafted weapon that is mechanically better than average but weaker than a +1 weapon. To talk about masterwork weapons we should also talk about magic weapons so we have a clear comparison. Magical “+1 weapons” are a staple in D&D and are an easily benchmark for what a “standard” magic weapon looks like. A +1 weapon has four different bonuses that set it above a typical weapon, It grants a +1 on accuracy rolls to hit, a +1 on damage rolls, it counts as magical for bypassing the resistances of enemies and it is much harder to break or damage. When the concept was used in 3.5 and Pathfinder, a masterwork weapon gave a +1 on accuracy rolls to hit. In my interpretation, this means that the value of a masterwork weapon was about ¼ of a +1 weapon and I have tried to keep that in mind while writing. It is no accident that the first four masterwork bonuses are each different aspect of a +1 weapon. While researching what other people have done for their version of a homebrew masterwork weapon in 5e, the common theme I've found seems to be a +1 on damage rolls. Due to the bonded accuracy in 5e, a +1 on accuracy would be to strong and we’ll talk more about this later. A +1 to damage rolls for a price of 100gp (Which is the same price as getting a weapon silver plated) seems like a fair enough trade, especially if masterwork weapons are rare and can only be purchased in large cities or commissioned from master weapon crafters, requiring a side quest or roleplay scene. In short, I found a general consensus that a masterwork quality that grants a +1 on damage rolls is balance and therefore it will serve as the benchmark against which all the other masterwork bonuses are compared against.

Keeping “+1 to damage rolls” in mind as a benchmark for how strong I wanted a masterwork bonus to be, I created and cannibalized more than a dozen options for DM’s to use for introducing masterworks into their own campaigns. I will be going point by point crunching numbers to show how each bonus lines up with one another. For those that want to do your own math, feel free to use https://anydice.com/ or http://rumkin.com/reference/dnd/diestats.php to double check the work. I will be using 1d8 as an example for most damage rolls to make it a little more standard. For context going forward, a d8 has a minimum damage of 1, a maximum damage of 8 and an average damage of 4.5. Please note that with one or two exceptions these benefits only affect the default weapon damage dice themselves, not additional dice such as sneak attack, divine smite or spell effects.

I will be going through one at a time through each Masterwork Bonus I currently have written up and talking about them and showing you how their specific benefit effects damage rolls so you as a DM have a better idea on how strong it actually is. To save space I have cut out the fluff descriptions of the Masterwork Bonuses but they can be read here if you’re interested.

Keep reading for a point by point analysis of the Masterwork Bonuses.

This paragraph outlines the Advantage / Disadvantage system from D&D 5e, because some of the bonuses use it. If you're already familiar go ahead and skip this. When a character is given help from a tool, other character, magic effect, etc. they gain Advantage on the dice roll made to accomplish the task. This means that they roll 2d20’s and pick the higher result to determine the outcome, thereby increasing the overall dice roll, slashing the chances of critical failing and boosting the opportunity to critically succeed. Disadvantage is the opposite, the player rolls twice and has to use the lower result increasing the odds of failing. The real great parts about this system is if a character has advantage and disadvantage, they cancel out and only one roll is made so you cannot get “super advantage”. If the character is gaining advantage or disadvantage from multiple sources he still only rolls twice and picks the higher result. This makes circumstantial bonuses very simple to apply on the spot and prevents players from having to calculate a +1 or +2 from half a dozen different sources at a time. Personally I like it because it’s quick and simple allowing everyone to roll fast and move on, in a game where play time is often hard to schedule. Plus, bonuses and deficits just cause the player to roll more dice in a game where players typically love any excuse to roll dice.

1, Precise: Grants a +1 on attack rolls to hit targets

In many systems a bonus to accuracy rolls can deal more damage than a boost to the actual damage rolls. Logically, more accurate attacks hit more often and all damage resulting from a hit that was only successful because of the +1 accuracy bonus can be considered extra damage. In D&D 5e this would bonus would probably be considered the most powerful due to bonded accuracy (Which you can read more about here) and would probably end up doing more damage than the +1 benchmark, especially if the wielder had class features such as sneak attack that further increased damage on hit.

2, Balanced: Grants a +1 to all damage rolls.

The simplest and most reliable damage dealing bonus. A flat +1 damage increases the minimum, maximum and average amount of damage that can be dealt by the attack by 1, making it a nice choice to quietly provide a small benefit for the player that can be added to the damage roll’s math and otherwise forgotten about. For damage bonuses, an average damage increase of +1 is what we are looking for in terms of power and serves as our benchmark.

3, Spellbound: The weapon is considered magical for the purposes of overcoming resistances, damage reduction and other defenses.

This provides a nice compromise to DM’s who want their players to go up against more varied enemies that might have resistances or immunities to non-magic weapons but who don’t want the players to have a full +1 weapon yet. The weapon’s bonus will only provide a benefit when dealing with a small number of enemies (Like elementals, ghosts or fiends) that have that resistance. On the resistant enemies it effectively doubles damage (Compared to a non-Spellbound weapon whose damage would be halved by the resistant monster) granting the wielder and player the time to shine in combat. Against the majority of low and mid-level enemies such as humanoids and beasts who aren’t resistant to non-magic weapons, the weapon provides no benefit at all and is just as useful as a regular weapon.

4, Impervious: The weapon is five times more durable than normal, never breaks, chips or dulls as a result of casual use and is all but impossible to break or damage as a result of combat, even when targeted by enemies who attempt sundering or weapon breaking techniques.

This allows a player to feel comfortable in the knowledge that their sword isn’t going to explode on a natural 1, leaving them unarmed and useless in combat. Furthermore it encourages players to use the sturdy weapon outside of combat for roleplaying or problem solving reasons. Perhaps a war pick is used to dig a foxhole in rocky terrain, a warhammer is used to break down a door, a quarterstaff is wedged against a door to brace it, or a sword is used in place of a crowbar to pry open a stuck chest. Other than resisting being broken in combat, this bonuses has no real offensive capacity making it a great thing to give to your players with almost zero risk that it will upset the team’s power balance or make them too strong in combat.

5, Relentless: Instead of a single damage die when the wielder successfully hits a target, the player instead rolls two dice that equal the value of the original damage die and add the results together.

This grants the player the ability to roll two dice when they would normally roll one, which will probably increase their level of happiness right there. This is a good benefit for raising the minimum damage the wielder does, and in the event of a critical allows the player to roll a multitude of small dice, further raising the minimum damage dealt. If our 1d8 example die is turned into 2d4 with this, the weapon now has a minimum damage of 2, a maximum damage of 8 and an average damage of 5. This increases the minimum by 1 which is nice but only provides an average damage bonus of +0.5 which is not much, but can allow players to feel like they are getting more from the weapon than they normally would. Since this average damage increase is less than our benchmark +1 damage this makes it a balanced addition to the masterwork bonus list.

6, Superior: The weapon’s damage dice increases by one step to the next largest die.

This is a nice and simple benefit with a clear but small increase in damage potential. If our 1d8 example die is turned into 1d10 with this, the weapon has a minimum damage of 1, a maximum damage of 10 and an average damage of 5.50. This increases the maximum by 2 which allows for slightly bigger hits and provides an average damage bonus of +1. This has a slightly higher than normal damage cap but with the drawback of no increase to the minimum damage. Overall the average damage is increased by +1, the same as our benchmark and thus of comparable balance.

7, Cruel: Whenever the player roll a 1 on a die to calculate the weapon’s damage, they can reroll the die until they receive a result that is not a 1.

Like the flat +1 damage, this bonus was also very common on homebrew sites discussing how to implement a masterwork mechanic. Raising the minimum damage the player can deal on hit is a good things for them, since nobody wants to roll a 1. Applying this to our 1d8 example gives it a minimum damage of 2, a maximum damage of 8 and an average damage of 5. This increases the minimum by 1 which is nice but only provides an average damage bonus of +0.5 which is not much, but can provide the player a great sense of relief and excitement when they do roll a 1 and can reroll it into a much higher number. Since the average damage increase of +0.5 (Which is the same regardless of the size of the die) is less than our benchmark +1 damage this makes it a balanced addition to the masterwork bonus list.

8, Defensive: The weapon grants +1 to the wielder’s armor class / defense value / dodge rating or other system mechanic that decreases the chances of being hit with an attack.

Similar to Precise, making homebrew changes to the accuracy and armor class system can be risky for the mechanical balance of the game. In D&D 5e, a +1 to armor class is a big deal and hard to come by and the potential damage prevented by virtue of being harder to hit can add up. This kind of bonus is meant to evoke the idea or a parrying dagger, sword breaker or boar spear, deflecting attacks and keeping enemies at bay by nature of their design.  Although it doesn’t directly compare to our benchmark +1 damage, a Defensive weapon can be a Godsend to a squishy melee striker like a rogue or bard who would definitely appreciate the increased armor class.  

9, Vicious: Whenever the player roll a 1 or a 2 on a die to calculate the weapon’s damage, they can reroll the die and must use the new roll, even if the new roll is a 1 or a 2.

D&D 5e players should be familiar with this bonus because it is taken straight from the Great Weapon Fighting style. Due to this, lots of other people have done the math in detail and you can follow this link for nice graphs about the statistics. In short, this bonus on our 1d8 example keeps the minimum damage at 1, a maximum damage of 8 and an average damage of 5.25. That is only an average damage increase of +0.75 which is lower than our benchmark value of +1. It is important to note that the damage changes based size and number of dice and that if the weapon dealt 2d6 damage (Which has an average of 7) was affected by this, the average damage would be 8.33. An improvement of +1.33, which is slightly higher than our +1 benchmark.

10, Brutal: Whenever the player rolls the maximum result on a weapon damage die (I.e. a 6 on a six-sided die.), they can roll that die an additional time and add both results to the total damage dealt. This ability can trigger multiple times per turn but only once per attack.

This is one of the swingy bonuses that either provides either a lot of extra damage or none at all. Based on the concept of “exploding dice” from Shadowrun and some White Wolf systems, if you roll the maximum result, you’ll be rewarded with another die to add to the damage total. I like the idea of having a slim chance to do extra damage since it’s like a mini critical hit. On our example d8 there is a 12.5% chance (One in eight) to trigger the Brutal effect, which adds an average of +4.5 damage (Another d8) to the damage roll. This means that a triggering hit deals a minimum of 2 damage, a maximum of 16 and an average of 9 damage. Although this seems like a lot, remember that the effect only happens on 1 in 8 attacks, so if we take the 4.5 extra damage and average that across of 8 attacks it’s only an average of +0.56 damage per hit. This trend holds steady for different die sizes as larger dice deal more damage but less often and vice versa for smaller dice. A d12 grants an average of +0.54 damage per hit while a d4 grants +0.63. It is important to note that this math is conducted in a vacuum and wielders with the power to reroll damage dice (Especially 1’s and 2’s) can make this bonus more lethal. Though even if on a d8, if the wielder was capable of rerolled all 1’s and 2’s, it would still be 4.5 extra damage once every 6 attacks which is an average increase of +0.75. Since the average increased damage bonus will always be less than our +1 benchmark, I feel like this is a reasonably balanced effect. This can be more fun than a flat +1 to damage because it trades the dependable and boring damage would be represented by a 1d8+1, into an unreliable and therefore exciting 1d8+?, with the possibility on every damage roll of getting an 8 and having your damage explode into high numbers.

11, Mighty: Whenever the wielder scores a critical hit with the weapon, the player can roll one of the weapon’s damage dice one additional time and add the result to the damage dealt by the critical hit. This is in addition to the standard bonus damage of a critical hit.

Drawing on weapons mechanics from D&D 3.5 and Pathfinder this is essentially the idea of an “increased critical multiplier”, which allowed weapons to deal more damage on a critical hit. In terms of damage output on hit, this is similar to Brutal but provides even less average damage per hit because critical hits are rare. In a d20 system where you only critically hit on a 20, you have a 1 in 20 (5%) chance to critical hit on every attack. If you use the example die, you turn the regular critical hit from 2d8 damage (Minimum 2, maximum 16, average 9) into 3d8, (Minimum 3, maximum 24, average 13.5) which does increase the average damage by 4.5 on a critical, but across 20 attacks it averages to +0.225 damage per hit. Comparing that to the benchmark’s +1 damage per hit, this masterwork bonus is very weak but makes up for it with spikes of high damage on critical hits.

X, Inexorable: Whenever the player rolls to determine the weapon’s damage, he may roll the weapon’s damage die twice and choose either result to use.

This bonus allows the player to effectively roll damage twice and choose the higher amount, essentially granting advantage on damage rolls. On our example d8, this bonus keeps the minimum and maximum at 1 and 8 respectively and changes the average to 5.81 damage. Although the minimum and maximum don’t change, the increased average damage by 1.31 per hit, which is slightly higher than our goal of +1. The improvement to damage is magnified by the size and number of dice. On a d12 it grans an increased 1.99 damage per hit and on 2d6 it’s a 2.34 increase. This bonus would also affect the additional damage dice from critical hits making this benefit very powerful.

Inexorable by our +1 damage benchmark is actually too strong to be a Masterwork bonus. To be honest, I added it in here originally to pad the original Masterwork list out to 12 entries so it could be rolled on a d12. Since it doesn’t belong here I have moved it over to the Minor Weapon Enchantments Table (Which was nowhere near ready at the time the Masterwork table was introduced), where it’s magical theme and stronger bonus better fits in.

12, Silvered: The weapon’s business end is covered in a durable layer of alchemically treated silver of incredible quality. Although unnaturally processed, the metal is pure and effective at dealing with undead, lycanthropes and fey creatures. The weapon’s grip also sports discrete bands of intricately worked silver which prevents the wielder’s supernatural enemies from handling the weapon and using it against him.

Silvering weapons is a staple in most RPG games that have monsters that are vulnerable to the metal. This benefit is similar to Spellbound as it really only has any benefit when used against a certain set of enemies and otherwise has no effect on a typical attack. The only change that this blog provides are the silver bands on the grip, preventing monsters from wielding it properly. If your system already has rules for silvered weapons you can just use those instead. See Spellbound for how it compares to the +1 damage benchmark.

13, Tactical: Using an action equivalent to making an attack or casting a spell, the wielder can attempt to perform one of the previously mentioned combat maneuvers. Whenever the wielder could make an attack with the weapon, he can instead perform one of the previously mentioned combat maneuvers... Furthermore, the wielder is able to take advantage of lucky blows and turn them into skillful maneuvers rather than simply powerful attacks. Whenever the wielder lands a critical hit, he can choose to cause it to be considered a normal hit instead and immediately perform one of the previously mentioned maneuvers (With advantage because of the weapon’s design) on the target.

I really like the idea of combat maneuvers, tactics and strategies in RPG’s that contain more than just mindlessly attacking the enemy. A frontliner who effective at tripping, disarming or grappling the enemy can be just as, if not more effective than a wizard specializing in battlefield control, because the fighter can do it more often. Unfortunately it can sometimes be hard to justify attempting maneuvers, as it’s often far more efficient to just focus on dealing damage, especially when both take the same type of action. This bonuses grants players an incentive to attempt maneuvers because they automatically gain advantage and gain access to a larger range of said maneuvers. Furthermore they can trade the extra damage from a critical for the chance to disarm / grapple / trip / etc. the target, which can let a player think strategically and provides some new combat options. As a roleplaying experience it can allow for better teamwork, granting a supporting bard a better chance of tripping an enemy, allowing the two handed fighter to attack the prone target at advantage as well as reducing their chance of escaping. This bonus doesn’t deal damage directly so it doesn’t compare to our benchmark +1 damage, but it does grant the wielder a few benefits and options at the cost of making a regular attack or additional critical hit damage.

14, Poisoner’s: Even a bludgeoning weapon that is normally difficult to poison effectively can benefit from the grooves, allowing it to deliver the offending material with ease. The channels are always positioned in such a way that a creature can apply a solid or liquid material (Such as but not limited to: poison, holy water, flammable oil or animal venom) in them without any risk of accidentally poisoning themselves (Even if they are not proficient with poisons) and taking no more time than usual to coat an object with poison. Furthermore, the recessed pathways protect the material from the elements, keeping it from drying or spoiling and after it’s applied, the material remains potent for an additional hour longer than normal before becoming inert. Lastly and most importantly, the virulent trenches are divided and spread out, allowing a single dose of poison to be delivered normally and effectively while still having some leftover in a separate groove. The number of strikes the weapon may make before the poison is rubbed off is increased by one. Alternatively to being spread out, the blighting substance can be confined to a single groove which will deliver its payload in a single concentrated strike which causes the victim to suffer disadvantage on the save against the material, or the PC can roll the poison’s damage twice and choose the higher result. The bearer who applies the poison chooses whether the material will be spread out over multiple strikes or if it will be concentrated into a more lethal hit (And if it applies disadvantage or increased damage) when the material is applied.  

This bonus provides a few benefits in order to allow a lower level PC better make use of expendable items like flammable oil, holy water or poison before magical weapons and stronger spells render them too inefficient to use in combat. The DM should feel free to adjust any parts of this bonus to better fit with the specific poison mechanics of their game. Personally I love the idea of poisons, oils and alchemical coatings appealing as concepts but at low levels they are often too expensive to buy and once you have the money you’re usually better off buying magic items since a large number of enemies are either resistant or immune to poison.

In D&D 5e for example, a vial of “basic poison” can coat up to three slashing or piercing weapon or up to three pieces of ammunition. Applying the poison takes and action and on hit the target must make a fairly easy save (A Con DC of 10, about a 50% chance of failure on average) or suffer as much poison damage as a dagger deals. Once applied, the poison retains its potency for 1 minute before drying. Overall pretty weak but could definitely be useful in many situations, especially ambushes rewarding players who prepare and think ahead. However this vial of three-use poison costs an exorbitant 100 gold pieces, the same value as a suit of scale mail and a greatsword combined. A PC with 100 gold at low levels might get a silvered weapon (Which is also 100 gold), get better quality armor, buy healing potions or adventuring equipment or weak magic items. The 5e Player’s Handbook list’s the cost of a hired mercenary at 2 gold pieces per day, so you could hire a bodyguard to fight for you for 50 days (Or an army of 50 for one day) for the same price as one vial of basic poison. At mid-levels, enemies will pass the save more than not, taking no damage and even if they roll poorly and fail, a dagger’s worth of damage is not a substantial drain on their hit point pool.

If we apply this masterwork quality to a warhammer (Since it uses our d8 example die) in conjunction with 5e’s basic poison we can look at the benefits. Normally you wouldn’t be able to poison the warhammer at all (It deals bludgeoning damage) but now you can and without risk of accidentally harming yourself. Rather than drying out in one minute, the poison will remain potent for 61 minutes, a fantastic improvement, allowing the player to apply it with a greatly reduced chance of it being wasted due to drying out before the next fight begins. The wielder can also choose to spread the material out among multiple grooves, turning a three use-vial into a six-use vial of poison, making it much more cost effective. Alternatively the player could choose to force the victim to suffer disadvantage on the saves to resist the poison or roll the poison damage twice and pick the more lethal result, making the poison more viable at higher levels.  

In short this masterwork bonus provides a number of small benefits and options to allow a PC to make poisons and alchemical weapon applications more fun and a viable strategy that offers the player a range of options, rather than an ineffective money sink. As this weapon does not deal damage directly it is hard to compare against the benchmark. The goal of this masterwork is to increase the damage deal by poisons and similar materials but it is weighed against the fact that the player has to expend gold or resources buying and using the poisons to actually make use of the benefits (As opposed to the benchmark “free” +1 damage on every hit) so it seems balanced to me.

15, Bypassing: A wielder who makes an attack with a weapon with this bonus ignores any and all defensive benefits that an opponent’s shield would normally provide.

This bonus attempts to reflect the real world weapons such as the flail, sica, shotel, and war pick, all designed to get around armor and shields in order to reach the tender flesh of the enemy. Although this benefit does affect accuracy rolls rather than damage, I would compare this more to the Spellbound or Silvered bonus rather than Precise. In my experience as a player, I rarely run into to humanoid enemies wielding shields and typical bestiaries and monster manuals don’t have a lot of shield using enemies. If your PC’s are mostly fighting undead, elementals, beasts and aberrations this bonuses will probably not help them. In the rare instance when they do come across a heavily armored fighter or blackguard paladin or other hard to hit foe, this bonuses will let the wielder bypass some of those defenses and let that wielder shine. Handing out this kind of weapon in a military or war campaign where it would be used regularly, would be comparable to handing out a Silvered weapon in a werewolf heavy campaign. Since it doesn’t deal damage directly I doesn’t compare to the benchmark and you can refer to the Spellbound and Silvered for how this bonus works in play.

16, Resounding: Whenever the player rolls a damage die he must roll a second confirming die of the same sort. If the second die is the same result as the first, the player is considered to have instead rolled the maximum possible result for that type of die instead of the current result.

As the fluff description mentions, getting a resounding blow that triggers the maximum damage is rare. The value of this bonuses is odd to calculate because as the maximum damage output of the die increases, the odds of actually rolling two of the same number to trigger it goes down proportionally. Over the course of 64 successful attacks with our example d8 (every variation of the damage die and confirmation roll), the effect only triggers 8 times (A 12.5% chance) and only 7 of those times actually benefit the wielder since rolling two 8’s is already the maximum amount of damage possible. Over the 64 hits, the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 28, an average increase of 0.44 per hit with most of the damage coming from when the player rolled low and would have done very little damage.

This table is a chart of each result of the 64 hits possible with a d8 Resounding weapon. The leftmost column is the damage roll while the top row is the confirming roll with the middle being the actual damage dealt. The bottom roll is the sum of the total damage from that column which is compared to 36, which is the sum damage total on a non-masterwork d8 over the eight possible hits.

To demonstrate on a smaller die over the course of 16 successful hits on a d4, the effect triggers 4 times (A 25% chance) and the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 6, an average increase of 0.38 per hit. The sum of the total damage on a non-masterwork d4 is 10 over the 4 possible hits.

On a larger die over the course of 144 successful on a d12, the effect triggers 12 times (A 12% chance) and the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 66, an average increase of 0.45 per hit. The sum of the total damage on a non-masterwork d12 is 78 over the 144 possible hits.

In summation, this bonus gives the occasional burst of damage at the cost of providing no benefit most of the time. It grants an average damage increase of 0.45 per hit (on a d8), which is well below our +1 benchmark in terms of balance.

17, Chargebreaker: If the wielder has not moved yet on his turn he can take up a defensive position, which causes his speed to drop to 0 until the end of his turn. While in this stance, the wielder is able to make an attack of opportunity with the readied weapon against an enemy that enters his reach. The bracing stance ends if the wielder moves, attacks or at the start of the wielder’s next turn.

Much like Tactical, this benefit rewards players who think strategically and offers them options in combat, like the ability to plant themselves and defend a key position rather than just rushing the enemy and attacking. This does potentially allow the wielder to make an additional attack per round, possibly doubling the number of attacks they can make. However these extra attacks come at the cost of all of the wielder’s movement during that turn, which can trap him in an inconvenient corner of the battlefield, not be able to move to reach allies, render him unable to retreat or not be able to place himself between the enemy and the more fragile party members. The wielder gains no additional benefit against creatures already within his reach and is potentially worse off against ranged attackers and mobile enemies, since bracing himself means that he is not closing that distance.  

18, Parrying: Using an action equivalent to an attack of opportunity (See Note) the wielder may attempt to parry an incoming melee attack, increasing his armor class or physical defensiveness as if he was properly wielding a shield. The wielder may benefit from the armor class bonus (Typically a +2) even if he is already wielding a shield. —Note: If your system doesn’t use attacks of opportunity use the following rule: Once the wielder parries an attack he is no longer able to do so until the start of his next turn.

Similar to Precise and Defensive, this is a bonus that deals with armor class and attack rolls. Unlike defensive however, this bonus consumes the wielder’s resources in the form of costing an attack of opportunity to use. A player could use this ability every time he is able to but doing so forcing him to give up on attacking fleeing enemies or striking when they are vulnerable. Furthermore, the benefit only applies to one melee attack per round so the wielder is still just as vulnerable to multiple attacks and ranged attacks. This bonus doesn’t deal damage so it doesn’t compare against the benchmark, but I feel that it provides a benefit to player’s without being overpowered due to its cost and limited use.

19, Strategic: These modifications greatly improve the wielder’s ability to resist trips, feints, grapples, pins, being disarmed, pushed, shoved and other combat maneuvers... Whenever the wielder is targeted by one of the previously mentioned combat maneuvers, he can use an action equivalent to an attack of opportunity (See Note) to grant himself advantage on the roll made to resist the maneuver. —Note: If your system doesn’t use attacks of opportunity use the following rule: Once the wielder uses the weapon to grant himself advantage on the roll made to resist a combat maneuver, he is no longer able to do so until the start of his next turn.

Much like Defensive and Parrying, this bonus deals with making the wielder more resilient when facing combat maneuvers like grappling, tripping and disarming. These tactics can be brutally effective when used against PC’s and can make enemies orders of magnitude more threatening. A monster that can attempt a grapple or trip check with every successful attack can be far more deadly than one that deals an extra 1d6 damage on each hit. Like Parrying, this bonus consumes the wielder’s resources in the form of costing an attack of opportunity to activate which helps to balance out its use. A player could use this ability every time he is able to, but doing so forces him to give up on attacking fleeing enemies or striking when they are vulnerable. This bonus doesn’t deal damage so it doesn’t compare against the benchmark, but I feel that it provides a benefit to player’s without being overpowered due to its cost of an attack of opportunity.

20, Adaptable: When the wielder attacks, he may choose to have the weapon deal either bludgeoning, slashing, piercing or nonlethal / stun damage (See Note). Otherwise the weapon keeps its usual statistics and this does not change anything about the way the weapon operates other than its damage type.

This is probably one of the weakest bonuses on this list and provides more fluff and equipment management ease than anything else similar to Impervious. A PC now only needs to haul around their masterwork weapon and be capable of dealing several type of damage rather than a golf bag of different weapons for different resistant monsters. Like Silvered or Spellbound this would only be beneficial in a small number of situations. Even then, it’s not hard or even that expensive for a fighter to carry a mundane warhammer, longspear and longsword, (Plus one or two ranged weapons) it’s just annoying to have to for purposes of overcoming resistances.

21, Twinned: Whenever the player rolls a damage die he must roll a second confirming die of the same sort. If the second die is the same result as the first, the player adds both dice to the total damage rolled.

This bonus is very similar to Resounding in the form of the confirmation roll for extra damage. Similarly to Resounding, getting a twinned strike that deals the extra damage is rare and the value of this bonuses is odd to calculate because as the maximum damage output of the die increases, the odds of actually rolling two of the same number to trigger it goes down proportionally.

Over the course of 64 successful attacks with our example d8, the effect only triggers 8 times, a 12.5% chance. Over the 64 hits, the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 36, an average increase of 0.56 per hit with most of the damage coming from when the player is doubling their high roll.

This table is a chart of each result of the 64 hits possible with a d8 Twinned weapon. The leftmost column is the damage roll while the top row is the confirming roll with the middle being the actual damage dealt. The bottom roll is the sum of the total damage from that column, which is compared to 36, the sum damage total on a non-masterwork d8 over the eight possible hits.  

To demonstrate on a smaller die, over the course of 16 successful, the effect triggers 4 times (A 25% chance) and the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 10, an average increase of 0.63 per hit. The sum of the total damage on a non-masterwork d4 is 10 over the 4 possible hits.

On a larger die, over the course of 144 successful, the effect only triggers 12 times (A 12% chance) and the total increase in damage resulting from the bonus is 78, an average increase of 0.54 per hit. The sum of the total damage on a non-masterwork d12 is 78 over the 4 possible hits. Although DM’s may have some reservations on seeing the higher scale of this chart, remember that rolling two 12’s to deal 24 damage is 1 in 144 or a 0.69% chance.  

In summation, this bonus gives the occasion burst of damage at the cost of providing no benefit most of the time, with an average damage increase of 0.56 per hit (on a d8), which is well below our +1 benchmark.

22, Quickdraw: The bearer is able to draw the weapon as a free action whenever he rolls initiative as long as he physically capable of doing so… In the first round of combat if a hostile creature comes within the wielder’s reach (Or 20 feet for a ranged weapon) he is able to make an attack of opportunity against that creature but suffers disadvantage on the attack roll. Lastly, drawing and stowing the weapon is considered a free action.

This bonuses is supposed to allow PC’s to be able to evoke the incredible training and reflexes that come from a lifetime of having to react quickly to violent ambushes. For an easy comparison of what I imagine this looking like, take a look at Star Wars or Firefly. Characters like Han Solo or Malcolm Reynolds carry their pistols in a low slung gunslinger’s holsters along their hips and are able to draw and fire within a second. This allows them to even out or even win fights before they have a chance to properly start. For a real life example look at videos of Bob Munden, a real life exhibition shooter has the title "Fastest Man with a Gun Who Ever Lived" bestowed on him by Guinness World Records. This Masterwork bonus enhances the PC’s ability draw the weapon as a natural reflex and instinctively (If not skillfully, hence the disadvantage) lash out at an enemy within reach.  If as a DM you are fond of ambushing your party, they will appreciate a weapon with this kind of bonus.

Damage wise, this bonus grants up to one additional attack at disadvantage per combat which may hit for some extra damage. Depending on the length of the fight, this may exceed the +1 benchmark or add nothing at all.

23, Unforgiving: When the player scores a critical hit with the weapon, he rolls all the dice associated with the damage as normal. After rolling but before damage is dealt to the target, the player may select any single rolled damage die of his choosing and that die will be considered to have rolled the maximum possible result for that type of die instead of the current result. —Note: This affects the weapon’s damage itself AND other sources of additional damage such as sneak attack, divine smite or spell effects.

I have seen this kind of this effect proposed as a variant critical rule for D&D, wherein anytime any PC or creature critically hits, the extra weapon damage dice are simply added in at their maximum result instead of being rolled. As it stands in D&D 5e, a player can score a critical hit and roll low on the dice resulting in a “critical hit” that deals less damage than an average hit. This makes the rare critical hits more potent by guaranteeing a high minimum damage. This bonus is all about raising the minimum damage on a critical hit, so that the wielder never rolls low and experiences a disappointing critical.

In a d20 system where you land a critical hit on a roll of a natural 20, you have a 1 in 20 (5%) chance to critical hit on every attack. If you use the d8 example die, Unforgiving turns the regular critical hit from 2d8 damage (Minimum 2, maximum 16, average 9) into 2d8[Dropping the lowest]+8, (Minimum 9, maximum 16, average 13.81) which does increase the average damage by 4.81 on a critical, but across 20 attacks it averages to +0.24 damage per hit.  Comparing that to the benchmark’s +1 damage per hit, this masterwork bonus is very weak but makes up for it with guaranteed high minimum damage on criticals, making each one a truly powerful blow.

24, Reach: Melee weapons with this bonus add 5 feet to the wielder’s reach when he attacks with it, as well as when determining his reach for opportunity attacks with it. Ammunition, ranged and thrown weapons all add 20 feet to their normal and long distance attack ranges. Melee Reach weapons are cumbersome in close quarters and the wielder suffers disadvantage on attack rolls against targets within 5 feet of himself. Ranged weapons and projectiles...cause the wielder to suffer disadvantage on attack rolls against targets within 10 feet of himself.

Again drawing from D&D 3.5 and Pathfinder here is a weapon quality with a trade off in terms of benefit and drawback. Melee players who play a more mobile, kiting style with an emphasis of never being too close to the enemy will love this bonus. When surrounded by enemies however it forces them to attack at disadvantage or to drop the Reach weapon and fight with an inferior backup weapon. PC’s specializing in ranged combat will be able to hit targets father away but when in tight quarters such as dungeons, caverns or buildings, there may not be the option of being 15 feet away from the target in order not to suffer disadvantage on the attack roll because they’re too close. Even if that is possible, it forces that ranged PC to become more separated from the melee, leaving them open to ambushes, being surrounded or cut off from the rest of the party.

[early-sxnsets]

No Wait Unblock Me

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43133210

Chapter 2/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1580

Chapter Summary: Simon and Baz finally get to "mutuals" status.

BAZ

For the third time today, I see a similar notification slide through my drop down.

bi-sammy sent you a picture

Part of me initially wants to sigh, roll my eyes, and swipe it away, because apparently part of me wishes to be alone for the rest of my life. Thankfully, the reasonable, tiny sliver of my mind makes sure I don’t make such a mistake.

Given the situation, one would think we’d parted ways. He makes a post, we stop the argument, all is fair in fandom and war. Except, now I believe Snow has grown under an impression that after one exchange, it qualifies us for somewhat of a friendship, and therefore reason to send me memes. Don’t get me wrong, memes are a fantastic waste of time and barely a waste of energy, but it’s strange that he’s not fucking off like most people.

Maybe I’m used to others being scared of me.

Maybe I’m used to others following my tactics of scaring them away.

Whatever I’ve done hasn’t worked, since this arse is immune to my attempts at coldness and mild animosity. I’m starting to suspect there’s something genuinely wrong with him, like he doesn’t get enough love and attention.

Guess that makes two of us.

I guess I somewhat crave this friendship. I’ll speak the truth to that and say yes, I smile when his memes pop up. They’re almost always fandom, and definitely made on Photoshop. This one, I see as I tap and let it load, is the crudely drawn Kirby graphic shoving burgers into his mouth, but over Kirby is photoshopped a picture of Huxley’s face and the burgers are Sam's ass.

It’s all poorly done and, sadly, extremely endearing.

My thumbs hover over my keyboard, cheeks creasing as I stare down at the picture. I lay back against my pillows, the curtains drawn and my hair pulled out of my face. It’s quite lonely; my life’s a sterile mixture of quarantined education and age old settled dust in my ancient room. It’s nice to have his somewhat obnoxious messages pop onto my screen, but it feels so odd. So foreign, and barely understood.

I want to understand.

gaystrell: why are you still messaging me?

I get an answer not even a minute later.

bi-sammy: do you want me to stop?

I don’t even hesitate to send out a reply, feeling a steadily growing lump in my throat, choking me mindless.

gaystrell: no.

bi-sammy: then why did you ask?

gaystrell: i just

gaystrell: don’t get it

bi-sammy: get what?

gaystrell: why you’d want to talk to me

bi-sammy: because youre cool

gaystrell: vexing me won’t get you “street cred”, if that’s what you’re after

bi-sammy: shit no wait that’s not what i meant

bi-sammy: dont block me fukc wait

bi-sammy: id just meant that you wrote all that shit and i thought it was really cool and

bi-sammy: i dont know

bi-sammy: i thought we could be friends since you did all that

bi-sammy: ill stop if you want me to

gaystrell: calm down you’re clogging my notifs

gaystrell: do that again and i /will/ block you

gaystrell: but………. if you actually do want to be friends i suppose i’m willing to give forth a little attention

bi-sammy: im osrry i dont speak posh cunt

gaystrell: too bad, blocked

bi-sammy: no wait unblock me

gaystrell: fine last chance

bi-sammy: bitch

gaystrell: b l o c k e d

bi-sammy: no but,,,,,,, i do want to be friends

I’m smiling like a fucking loon, scrolling through our brief exchange. It’s strange. Most people aren’t upfront about wanting to talk, or wanting someone to talk with. Wanting a friend, even. I have the people follow me and ask me questions, and of that only a small handful of those who actually interact eith me (and even in that, we usually only speak to give each other a helping hand).

And despite that, here’s someone who wants to try.

I suck my lower lip into my mouth, trying to think of my course of actions.

There’s a simple one I can take now (and probably should’ve taken as an initiative). I click his icon, and click “Follow” on his page.

It doesn’t take very long before I get a notification come through, starting that he mentioned me in a post.

It isn’t very long, but it gets its point across in the best way possible. It’s just a mobile screenshot, reading “gaystrell started following bi-sammy” with a quick caption.

god himself entered the groupchat. how do i block him?

SIMON

I wonder what it’d be like to see me in the moment. It’s a real shame Penn wasn’t around to capture it, since I’m in the middle of French class, but I must’ve smiled so stupidly that it caught the attention of the professor. He gave me a stern look until I set down my mobile.

The moment he turned away, I opened it back up and grinned.

At first, I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Him. Following me.

Us. Mutuals. Mutuals.

Of course I had to screenshot and post as a brag (barely humble, more metaphorically sucking my own knob for all my followers to see). Nobody really cares, as expected.

Well, nobody except the single message from none other than Mr. Bitch.

gaystrell: blocked. unfollowed. reported. waste of space.

My smile creases back my cheeks as they flush pink. I send back a quick message before turning my mobile over, foot tapping double the speed of the analogue on the wall.

bi-sammy: ;)

BAZ

He winked. Interesting.

I’m out of breath.

Fuck?

I lay my phone flat away from me, face down as I squint at my wall. I should respond in a composed fashion. I have to be clever, and not one-upping him is never an option. After all, does this qualify as flirting? Friendly banter? What am I doing with this random fucking bloke that I don’t even have a face to put to?

He’s my age. Roughly. Yes?

I check his tumblr again, as if I hadn’t just read his bio earlier.

simon // he/him // 17 // hold my fucking hand (please)

Maybe he’s just straight and I’m misreading it. Yes. Probably. Aren’t most people straight? Is that still a fact? (I highly doubt it, given how boring that must be.) But he winked at me. Somewhat prompted, I’ll give him that, but it was still a fucking wink.

I wink in texts to Dev and Niall too, though, but that’s different, isn’t it? I’d never snog either of them (especially fucking Dev), but hey. If unfaced internet boy asked for a snog, would I?

I’m too wrapped up and starved for human interaction to properly deal with this.

gaystrell: i will carry on with my threats, snow

There it is. Perfectly biting, while not being entirely rejecting. Maybe I’m better at this than I thought.

Or, perhaps, I’m worse, because even an hour and a half after sending the text, he’s silent.

I remind myself every few minutes that he most likely attends an actual school and has classes, but it makes my chest ache in the most unfair way every time my mobile tempts me with an unrelated notification.

I work myself to the point of moping down in the kitchen, slumping against the fridge whilst watching Vera make tea. She’s relatively silent, knowing better than anybody to leave me to sulk.

“You’re a drama queen,” she tuts, looking over me. Granted, I dress like a slob and borderline haunt this godforsaken mansion, but I feel as though that makes me entitled to being the way I am.

“I’m lonely,” I sigh, head resting against the fridge. It hums beside me, the chromed metal cooling my cheek. “Am I not granted a dramatic spell every now and then?”

“Not unprovoked.”

I set a hand against the handle, then let it drop. I’m not hungry. “What if it was provoked?”

“Is it?”

Instinctively, I pull out my phone and click it on. Nothing. “Perhaps.”

Vera frowns at me, walking over and setting a hand on my arm. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

My eyes slowly roll as I push myself off the appliance, standing upright. “Physically, yes. Don’t fuss. It’s just… online shit.”

“You spend too much time on the phone,” she sighs, letting go and going back to the tea as she fixes me a mug. “Don’t you think you’d be happier to disconnect from social media for a day or two? Go on a walk, see nature?”

I snort, looking outside. “And what? Trip and bust open my knee? That’d wind me back up in care for at least a few days.”

“You act like you’re made of paper and glass.” She offers over my mug, letting my fingers wind around the handle before she shakes her head.

“I might as well be,” I huff down before thanking her and blowing on my tea.

Once I leave back up to my room, I realise it's somehow more depressing in here over the kitchen with Vera’s disapproval of technology rantings. At least she’s some sort of company.

As I’m sipping my tea, I go back to scrolling on my laptop as a notif pops up, jarring me with the sound but letting me breathe again.

bi-sammy: why do you know my last name smh

I exhale slowly, smiling to myself.

gaystrell: you commented on my google doc, you idiot

[3veta]

How can a lawyer start providing online consultations?

New Post has been published on https://3veta.com/blog/business-advice/how-can-a-lawyer-start-providing-online-consultations

How can a lawyer start providing online consultations?

These days everything seems to be about video consultations and working from home. Almost all professions have been affected by the online services revolution. Legal services, of course, are no exception. It is now fully possible for lawyers to provide consultations via video and it looks like an incredibly promising segment.

If you are a lawyer, looking for ways to get up to speed, this guide is the perfect place to start.

What are the advantages of giving online consultations?

For starters, there is an undeniable convenience.

For many of your customers, a visit to your office is only one of many other tasks they need to take care of during their busy day. And to be honest, if you need to see a lawyer, that’s rarely good news. Now imagine having to take time off work for this appointment, not to mention the traffic implications. Having the consultation online already sounds really attractive.

If this is how your customers feel about the meeting, wouldn’t you prefer to grant them the comfort of meeting online?

I am sure that the answer is yes. Besides, there is a lot in it for you, too.

How about every time some acquaintance remembered you were a lawyer and called you with a whole list of questions to ask…… It’s a bit rude to ignore them, isn’t it? The truth is, usually they are more than happy to pay you for your advice. However, it is socially awkward for both you and them to discuss the price of such a consultation, arrange a bank wire and so on.

Imagine being able to have a paid online video call that eliminates all these issues. The payment happens automatically and your acquaintance has received the help they need. Now that’s a good settlement!

Another benefit of using video is that it makes you more flexible, as you can provide a consultation from anywhere. You only need to have your laptop or even just a phone nearby. No more cancelled trips, because you have to be there for that very important client.

And your clients will appreciate that too. Being online will instantly make their contact with you easier than ever.

How to promote your online business with legal consultations?

ОК, so it is quite clear why you want to be online. The question is – would you have time to set up your online practice?

How about the promotion itself? Obviously the first people to promote your new service to are your existing clients. Suggest video consultations to the ones with straightforward cases. They still need an exclusive client-attorney relationship, and are also likely to appreciate the convenience of the online meeting.

If you have a lot of clients, you may not need promotional activities to find new ones. Just being able to meet your existing customer base is already worth it.

But if you want to attract new clients, how do you do this?

The simple answer is – by making them aware that you are there to solve their problems in the most convenient way possible.

Here are a few tips to promote yourself:

Make your practice visible on the Internet

Whether that is Google, or a social media such as LinkedIn – your potential customers must be able to find you. There will be some costs associated with that, but trust me, it is worth it. If there’s nothing about your legal practice online, this is either suspicious or unprofessional.

Emphasize on personal contact

There are many online legal platforms that will offer standard services, covering only very basic cases. They are standardized and impersonal, aiming at completing the task with zero customer interaction. You don’t work like that. Your service offers the security of the client-attorney relationship. This means you will be answering questions, providing for eventualities and most importantly – consciously working in your client’s interest. No automated platform can beat that.

Don’t dismiss live meetings completely

Your clients may still want to meet you in person sometime. Having met you once in real life is often sufficient to build the trust they require to be your client for many years. Keep this in mind and while virtual meetings may be preferable for both of you, it will be a good sales practice to at least propose a live meeting every now and then.

Place your accent on the benefits

Sometimes people don’t turn to a lawyer because they think it is a hassle. What often happens though is that they end up going through even more hassle themselves, probably even paying more than necessary.

Competition can be your ally

There are multiple legal blogs and forums, which people read in order to get some knowledge about a particular issue. Such sources can never replace an actual lawyer when the case is more complicated so they aren’t really your competitors. They are however a magnet for people with existing legal cases. Why not advertise your services in one of them?

What do you need to keep in mind when you start?

First of all you may want to start from a more general guide – one about providing online services as a whole.

If you’ve covered that base, you can enter in the subtleties of online legal services.

For instance, your clients will normally come prepared to your office, bringing all their case documents with them. In online consultations, you can ask them to send you all these documents in advance so you can review them. This will save you time during the consultation itself and might help avoid certain misunderstandings.

Before the start, ensure that your internet connection is working flawlessly. Even if you have taken care of it for yourself, some of your clients might not have done so. Always have a plan B in place in case they experience a connection or hardware issue.

Your online consultations will happen in pretty much the same way as face-to-face ones. You will however, be able to benefit from certain extras, such as screen share or integrated chat. The latter is especially convenient for you and your client to confirm certain small details that have been left out in the call.

Technology and legal online consultations

One decision you will have to make when you start having video legal consultations is what platform you will use for your calls. To be clear, you may already be using the likes of Microsoft Teams or Skype for communicating with some clients. These apps fit the bill only for long-term business relations where your clients are not paying you for every call.

It is for the shorter-term or even one-off clients where an online platform will really help you. These platforms are designed to support such professional services, especially when trust is not yet built on either side.

With an integrated payment service you will be able to receive payment as part of each online consultation. You will also be able to see how much you have earned and decide for yourself how often you want your online wallet to be transferred into your bank account.

All files exchanged during your consultations will be stored in secure locations helping you comply with data protection laws.

If your platform offers scheduling, your clients will be able to book consultations on their own based on your availability.

You could join a “marketplace” type of legal platform, but be aware that you will then have to compete directly with numerous other lawyers. It might be wiser to opt for a platform that lets you keep your identity and branding, while keeping you away from competitors.

Turn the video on to your advantage!

Technology is changing every aspect of our lives. Legal practitioners all over the world are benefitting from powerful databases, modern marketing tools, even AI.  As people are having to balance more and more tasks, it is only a matter of time before video calls become a standard request for lawyers. So be ready for the change before it comes. I can’t guarantee online consultations will help you solve your cases, but there is no doubt that they will win you new customers.

#3veta #3vetaservices #onlineservices #videoservices #videoconferencing #meetclientsonline

[charlieharry1]

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[princesssarisa]

Beauty and the Beast (2017): How It Could Have Been Better

Let me start by saying this: I like the live-action Beauty and the Beast. For the most part, I think it’s well done. It can’t replace the animated version, but it’s good. That said, there are a few things I wish had been done differently. With a few changes, this version could have come even closer to equaling the animated version. If I had been given the screenplay to write a final revision before the movie was made, here are some of the changes I would have made.

1. Put more emphasis on “Belle the inventor.”

For something that got so much emphasis in the press, this aspect of the “new” Belle gets surprisingly little emphasis in the actual movie. It’s just used in one sequence to highlight that she’s “different” and give the villagers a way to bully her. My revised version would highlight it more. I’d include a more extensive scene of her building the washing barrel before she uses it. I’d have other inventions of hers in use around her house. I’d have the villagers and Gaston disapprove of her being a female gadgeteer. Instead of having the villagers bully her for teaching a girl to read (which, as many people have pointed out, has no real basis in 18th century France, where most women were literate), I’d have them bully her because they think her washing barrel is a ridiculous invention and will lead girls into trouble by giving them too much free time on their hands. Instead of Maurice going to the market to sell his own music boxes, I’d have him take an invention of Belle’s to a fair, highlighting how fully he supports all she does. This could also reinforce his new arc of learning to be less overprotective of her: she could beg to come along, since it’s her invention, only for him to insist she stay safely at home. But most importantly, I’d incorporate her inventiveness throughout the movie, not just the beginning. Why not let her escape from the castle after the West Wing incident by climbing down the ladder she made from Mme. de Garderobe’s gown? Why not let her, not Maurice, figure out how to pick the asylum wagon’s lock? (The callback to Maurice’s music box-building scene is cute, but still…) Near the end, why not show Plumette and the other castle maids using Belle’s invention to do laundry, freeing them to join the dance? I’d just like to give this new aspect of her the same emphasis onscreen that it got in the pre-movie press.

3. Have Gaston, Lefou, and/or the villagers say some nasty things about Maurice early on.

I have nothing against the new version’s less-wacky characterization of Maurice, but it does feel a bit less natural that Gaston should so easily convince the whole town that the new Maurice is insane… especially since until he makes his claims about the Beast, there’s no hint that anyone considers him odd the way they do Belle. So I’d like to have some equivalent of Lefou’s “That crazy old loon!” line from the original. Someone disparaging Maurice as a silly “starving artist” who needs to get a “real” job, or something like that. I think I’d especially like this disparagement to come from Gaston and Lefou, as per the animated version, and have it figure into Belle’s rejection of Gaston. Instead of just warning Belle that she’ll be left penniless if her father dies before she’s married, I would have had Gaston (or Lefou, in an attempt to help him) argue that he can provide for her better now than her “starving artist” father can. I don’t mind the fact that the new Gaston is less overtly boorish and more of a Nice Guy™ at first, especially since it helps deflect accusations that the Beast is a Nice Guy™. But judging by some of the comments I’ve read about the new Gaston online (“He actually respects her in this version!” “She’s so rude to him!” etc.), the writers might have made him a little too likable for his own good. More reason to dislike him from the start wouldn’t hurt, especially if it helps to set up Maurice’s later scenes too.

3. Give the Beast back his early hints of inner decency.

I appreciate what the movie tries to do with the Beast – keeping him almost as mysterious to us as he is to Belle at first, letting us warm up to him along with her, not before her, and giving neither her nor us much reason to believe in his inner goodness until the game-changing scene where he saves her life. But as a side effect, we lose one of animated versions’ best defenses against accusations of Stockholm Syndrome: the fact that the animated Beast never really treats Belle like a prisoner. With only minimal urging from Lumiere, he gives her a comfortable bedroom, lets her go anywhere she likes except the West Wing, encourages her to think of the castle as her “home,” and assures her that his servants will attend to all her needs. Not to mention his guilty expression when he sees her crying and his instant remorse after he scares her away from the West Wing. Even the “You will join me for dinner!” incident is more of him treating her as an underling than as a prisoner, per se. I would have liked to see the live-action version keep all those things intact.

4. Make the Beast’s backstory less stereotypical.

Unlike some people, I don’t mind the fact that the Beast’s new backstory “woobifies” him, but I do mind how stereotypical it is. “His good, loving mother died or left when he was small and he had a dysfunctional relationship with his father” is THE stock backstory for troubled, moody young males, from Prince Zuko, to the young Ebenezer Scrooge, to James Dean (granted, he was a real person), to various YA novel examples, and more. And do we really need another Mother in the Refrigerator besides Belle’s?

In my version, we’d learn that his parents both died young (in the same plague outbreak that killed Belle’s mother, though we wouldn’t learn that detail until later). Mrs. Potts would reveal that she and the other servants were left to raise him, but that they treated him like their master instead of like a child, giving him neither enough discipline nor enough love, and did nothing as they watched him turn hard and bitter. Then, instead of showing the young Prince at his mother’s bedside, the “Days In The Sun” flashback would show him standing in front of his parents’ tomb. This would still be a tragic backstory, but a little less clichéd, and it would give even more guilt to the servants to explain why the Enchantress cursed them too.

5. Slightly revise Belle and Maurice’s backstory.

I’d portray Belle as five or six years old when her mother died, not a baby. The flashbacks in the “Paris of My Childhood” scene would feature a montage of her growing from a baby with the rose-rattle to a child living happily with her parents, reading a book with her mother, socializing with their friends, etc., but then show her sobbing “Maman!” as Maurice carries her away from her mother’s deathbed. The lyrics to “Paris of My Childhood” would feel more fitting if she were singing about a childhood she actually remembered. Portraying her as having partly been raised in Paris, not just born there, would also give her more reason to feel misplaced in the small provincial town.

Last but not least, I just don’t think “Maurice has never told her how her mother died” was a necessary plotline. I’ve seen so many amateur critics complain that they were expecting the reveal of how she died to be some startling, dramatic twist, not just “the plague.” It feels as if the screenwriters were just trying to make the trip to Paris extra meaningful to Belle by having her not know until then… as if it wouldn’t be meaningful anyway. Or maybe they wanted to give Belle and Maurice’s relationship more “depth” by adding some mild conflict to it via his secret-keeping… as if they hadn’t already done just that by making Maurice’s overprotectiveness the reason why Belle is trapped in a dull, stifling provincial life. In my revision, Belle and Maurice’s conversation at home would end along these lines:

          Belle: Why can’t we go back to Paris? Maman felt free to be herself there! All three of us were happy there!

          Maurice: True, but it’s where we lost her too.

Much later, after the Beast finds the plague doctor’s mask, Belle would say, “Yes, that’s how my mother died,” and the Beast would reply “Like mine.” And in the wagon, instead of telling Maurice that the Beast helped her learn what happened to her mother, Belle would tell him that the Beast’s parents died of the same plague as her mother, which would only humanize the Beast further in Maurice’s eyes, leading even more naturally to his supporting Belle’s choice to go back to him. These would be small changes, but all good.

6. Actually incorporate the magic book into the plot or leave it out altogether.

I agree with most of the criticisms I’ve read about the magic book, so my revision would do one of two things:

Choice #1: Use the book in place of the magic mirror. Having the Enchantress leave the Beast with two magic “windows to the outside world” feels redundant. This version of the book would have the power both to show you visions of different places and to actually transport you there. Belle would also use the book to instantly travel back to the village to save her father, as so many critics insist she should have. Her dialogue with the Beast beforehand would go along these lines:

         Beast: You must go to him.

         Belle: (after an astonished pause) I’ll come straight back as soon as he’s safe.

         Beast: No. Stay with him. I release you. You are no longer my prisoner.

         Belle: (awkwardly) But… what about your book?

         Beast: Keep it, so you can always look back and remember me.

Later, in town, Belle would use the book to show the Beast to the villagers and Gaston would use it to find the castle, though not to teleport there since Belle wouldn’t have shown him how. Meanwhile, Belle would steal a village horse to ride after the mob.

Choice #2: The opposite of the above – eliminate the book and use the mirror in its place. Have the Beast introduce the mirror to Belle earlier and let them use it just to see a vision of Belle’s childhood home in Paris, not to actually visit there. The scene could still be just as effective this way. The only downside is that we’d lose the moment when Belle says “Let’s go home” and the Beast smiles as he realizes she just called the castle “home.” But a similar effect could be achieved this way: Belle cries as she looks into the mirror. The Beast places a tentative consoling paw on her shoulder. She turns to him and leans her head against his chest – their most intimate physical contact so far. He looks shocked for a moment, then accepts it and gently holds her. The rest of the movie would use the mirror normally, with Belle and the Beast’s dialogue after the ballroom dance only slightly tweaked to reflect the fact that Belle already knows about the mirror. Also, Belle wouldn’t have the rose rattle from Paris to show Maurice; he’d have to trust her word alone about the Beast’s goodness, as in the animated version.

7. Add more dialogue to Belle and the Beast’s scene after the dance.

I have mixed feelings about the line “Can anybody be happy if they aren’t free?” I appreciate the blatant attempt to avoid accusations of Stockholm Syndrome. But nothing is physically stopping her from leaving the castle, nor has the Beast ever threatened any retribution if she leaves... nor, unlike the animated version, has she promised to stay. In the original film, it’s her promise that keeps her there; not the Beast, but her own sense of honor. But in the remake, she seems to feel like the Beast is forcing her to stay against her will, and it’s not clear why. I’d like to add some dialogue (partly inspired by Megan Kearney’s webcomic) to clarify that she’s making some wrong assumptions about the Beast, in this vein:

        Beast: We’re friends now, aren’t we? If you want to leave... then why haven’t you asked me?

        Belle: Because I couldn’t bear to hear you say ‘no.’

        Beast: (putting on his sassy facade) Or why haven’t you run away? You did it before.

        Belle: Because you would come after me and drag me back, like you tried to do that first night.

        Beast: What are you talking about?

       Belle: Isn’t that why you followed me?

       Beast: Belle, I behaved shamefully that night, and through most of my life beforehand too, but I would never have brought you back against your will. I saw the wolves surrounding you from the castle and I came only to save you.

       Belle: But how can you have seen me? I was already miles away when the wolves appeared!

       (lead-in to the reveal of the magic mirror and Belle seeing Maurice in it)

Between further addressing the Stockholm Syndrome issue, further clarifying the Beast’s behavior in a positive light, and providing an effective new lead-in to the mirror scene, this would have been a vast improvement, IMHO.

8. Let Belle change into practical clothes before riding off to save Maurice.

This only applies if the movie uses the above-mentioned Choice #2: replacing the book with the mirror. If Choice #1 is used and the mirror replaced with the book, then Belle can teleport to the village in her ball gown. But if she’s going to ride her horse through the snow, then she needs to wear something she wouldn’t freeze in! It seems to me that the only reasons why they kept her in the gown were (a) to highlight her urgency, which the animated version never seemed to lack even with a change of clothes, (b) so the yellow would stand out against the snow as the Beast watches her from afar, and (c) to give her the ham-fisted “anti-princess culture” moment of ripping it off and leaving it on the ground when she rides back to the castle. But even if my revision were to use Choice #1 and keep her in the gown and later her underclothes, then she would need to realistically be shivering when she arrived back at the castle and throw a cloak or shawl over her shoulders before the rooftop confrontation. No immunity to snow!

9. Take the castle’s crumbling to its logical conclusion.

The castle’s crumbling a little bit each time a petal falls from the rose would seem to imply that when the last petal falls, the whole castle will crumble to smithereens. But no such thing happens. It really does seem as if the castle only crumbles at all because the writers wanted Gaston to shoot the Beast instead of stabbing him, but needed him to somehow fall to his death without the Beast knocking him off balance while flailing in pain. I say let the whole castle start to crumble after the last petal falls, with Belle sobbing over the Beast’s body all the while, either not realizing or not caring that she’s about to be crushed to death! Yes, that would be dark for a Disney movie, but I don’t think it’s much darker than some of the other new details (Gaston trying to kill Maurice, the Enchanted Objects all “dying,” etc.). Especially if it only lasts a moment before the Enchantress saves everyone.

10. Include some lines and details from the animated version that were cut.

Just a few here and there, please. I can accept that “I just don’t deserve you!” would be out of character for Emma Watson’s Belle, but couldn’t she at least say “Gaston, you are positively primeval!”? Couldn’t they have found some place for Cogsworth to say “If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it!” too? And why shouldn’t the Beast say “I release you. You are no longer my prisoner” when he lets her go? That line makes it clear that he’s sacrificing all his hopes and doesn’t expect her to come back! Also, why did the writers feel the need for Mrs. Potts to say “Because he loves her” instead of letting the Beast say “Because I love her”? And why did the set designers place Belle and Maurice’s house within the village, not on the outskirts in keeping with their misfit status? I don’t understand these small cuts and changes whatsoever.

11. Add some dialogue to the final scene.

This is a change I wouldn’t mind in the animated version either. Some pre-dance dialogue about the future between Belle, the Prince, and either the servants, Maurice, or even the now-friendly LeFou, to show that Belle and the Prince plan to do more than just be royal. I’d like us to actually learn what the movie storybook says – that they plan to turn the castle library into a school for children. Then Belle would mention that they plan to travel or see the world too. When asked how they’ll possibly have time for that, she’ll reveal that they still have the magic book or mirror and plan to use it. This way, no one will accuse the movie of sweeping Belle’s dreams of adventure aside in favor of romance.

None of these improvements would drastically change the script, but I think they would all be worthwhile. 2017’s Beauty and the Beast is a good movie as is, but with this handful of differences, I think it would have been even better. If anyone else has any other ideas for script revisions, I’d love to hear them!

[finalvlog]

[ A very descriptive and detailed profile of your muse ] REPOST with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. If you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own! ( If you’re in doubt on some hover over them to discover what you should put in there! ) When you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same!~

TAGGED BY: No one, I stole it​ // placing under a read more because this is A LOT. —————————————————————————- “NAME” / ALIASES: Alex Josiah Kalinsky / AJ.  AGE: 23 at time of Hope County events, 26 present time.  SPECIES:  Human. GENDER: Cis Male. PROFESSION: Vlogger/Online personality. STATUS: Single —————————————————————————-

PHYSICAL ASPECTS

BODY TYPE: Alex is short and naturally skinny, but he works out regularly to get some muscle and body mass on him. He’s still slim, still shorter in stature but he is strong.

HAIR: A brown that borders on dirty blonde with hints of red at times. It has a natural curl to it that will grow out of control if he lets it. For the past four years or so he’s taken to keeping it cut short to avoid curls but that means haircuts at LEAST once a month. If he misses a few haircuts he will take to wearing a beanie.

EYES: Large, round eyes, down turned at the outer edges but very expressive. Because of this he tends to keep a neutral expression, bordering on RBF (resting bitch face) with a concerned furrow to his brow. He’s been told he has a deer in the headlight looks when surprised. They’re a bright green color.

SKIN: Pale skin with an underlying olive complexion from his mom. If he goes out in the sun he has the tendency to tan rather than burn. Alex’s skin is smooth for his age, he’s often mistaken for being up way younger than he is. 

HEIGHT: 5′7”

WEIGHT: Anywhere from 140-155 due to his muscle mass. When he stops working out he drops the weight FAST and has been as low as 125 lbs before.

SIZES: He has no idea.

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FAMILY

SIBLINGS: Alex is an only child. His parents were told they wouldn’t be able to conceive in the first place. So he was considered very much their miracle child.  PARENTS: His mother is Tova Malka (second last name Kalinsky after getting married). His Father is David Kalinsky. Both are MD’s, his father specializing in cardiology as a surgeon and his mother a neuro-psychologist specializing in healing from brain trauma. His mother is Jewish Israeli, born in Ashdod, Israel. His father was born in New York City, from parents that immigrated from Germany shortly before his birth. David, and his parents also practice Judaism.  GRANDPARENTS: On his mother’s side his grandmother is Esther Malka, grandfather Dov Malka. Both live in Israel still but visit the states and vice versa. On his father’s side his grandmother is Nadina Kalinsky, grandfather Walter Kalinsky. He has met and grown up with both sets of grandparents. OTHER RELATIVES: A LOT. His mom alone has one older sister (Amaris), two younger brothers (Davi and Elias). Her older sister, Amaris is married to a woman named Mary and they have three children together. Davi is married to a woman named Adele and has two children, Elias is unmarried. His father has one younger sister, named Johanna that went missing when she was twenty seven.  ANY PETS?: yes [] || no [ x ] IF YES WHICH AND HOW MANY? — N/A.

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SKILLS

PHYSICAL

ENDURANCE - Bordering on absurd. Alex will endure more than he should. It could get him killed even (hahaha). He can take a beating and his endurance for mental manipulation is fairly strong too, but he’ll cave mentally before he does physically most likely. If someone can be patient with him, they can exhaust him.

HAND TO HAND COMBAT - Very good. Better than the average person. He has been doing wrestling since he was a kid, boxing since high school, and took some akido in college. Boxing is where he excels.

GUNS AND WEAPONS TRAINING - Alex knows how to handle a gun. He was in a shooting club throughout college, skeet specifically. He got into timed course shooting with handguns on his own. Alex took to the sport with a natural inclination. He’s better with a rifle/long distance than handguns but he is capable at both.

ATHLETIC - He lifts weights and does strength training on his own to stay fit, to keep muscle mass. Hannah forced him to go running each morning and he keeps active on the road with push ups, burpees, star jumps, anything really. He doesn’t want to be skinny, which his body naturally trends towards without work put in.

NON-PHYSICAL

FAST THINKING / INTUITION / ADAPTABILITY - Alex has proven time and time again he can adjust to a situation and will try to think his way out of it. When at the Revival he keeps calm, listens, watches the crowd, and picks up on the ONE guy openly carrying. Alex keeps him in his line of sight and when Mark threatens to blow their cover he steps in and with a single word “Relax” he calms him down. He remembers that they have a pocket cam, he is able to figure out they can upload to the cloud backup he has that will automatically push the upload to the YouTube channel. Alex takes things in stride and will remain optimistic, probably because of his ability to quickly analyze a situation and come up with a plan or way out. Where others lose hope, he holds strong to it.

CALM IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS - To a dangerous degree it may seem. This will get expanded upon in major experiences but Alex keeps a level head in almost any situation. Part of why he did so well with the subject matter of their vlogs was his ability to calm people down and maintain that calm himself as well. He only panics when he loses all control of a situation or sees someone else getting hurt or possibly hurt. For example when he can’t prevent Mark from being dragged to the river for the baptism, it’s the first glimpse we have of Alex panicking, trying to make a deal. “We won’t say shit!!” He tries to come to an agreement that saves Mark from getting hurt. He fails but he tries to appease the Baptist.

COOPERATION- Alex is a very stubborn individual but he is great at getting along with other people. He has spent years working on the vlog alongside his two best friends and so he’s gotten used to working in a group, so long as the group is people he trusts. Alex is a great person to collaborate on and an easy mind to bounce ideas off of but his sometimes blunt honesty turns people off of him or his advice.

TRAITS

—— POSITIVE ——-

Loyal

Intelligent

Charismatic

Witty

Calm

Friendly

Brave

Compassionate

——- NEGATIVE ——-

Stubborn

Skeptical

Distant

Reckless

Compulsive

Single-minded

Disruptive

Blunt

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MAJOR EXPERIENCES

[ TW for some childhood bullying/mental trauma ref. ]

Alex was born with some health complications as a premature child, and his mom had preeclampsia as well. For the first three years of Alex’s life he was in and out of the hospital due to asthma and respiratory complications. Eventually he grew out of his asthma, but it’s something his parents never let him forget. That he is LUCKY to be alive.

From a young age Alex was taught the value of humanity and compassion. His parents would remind him that they worked hard to get where they were to have the income and money they did. His paternal grandparents didn’t have an easy life and immigrating to the United States had been a struggle, even with his grandfather being a well-established doctor. His mom and dad did not want him to take for granted what he was given. From the archery lessons to Hebrew School and everything in between. He remembers when he first understood the impact of donating some of his presents to kids in need on his birthday and the holidays. When he turned ten he stopped accepting gifts altogether except from his grandparents and would instead volunteer with his parents at shelters or the hospitals they respectively worked at.

On that note, he did grow up immersed in medicine but he had NO desire to pursue it. His father was disappointed at first, yes, but he supported Alex in whatever he decided would catch his eye. Neither his mom nor dad tried to force him into a field like medicine when he wasn’t intrigued by it. He did want to do something to help other people, but medicine wasn’t how he wanted to go about it. Because while his parents were there for him as much as they could be, they still had a good amount of absences because of their work and how often they would travel for it. His father with doctors without borders and his mother to conferences. Medicine had to be your LIFE and Alex was too interested in everything else to commit to it.

His first episode happened when he was thirteen years old. School hadn’t been going well; he was bullied for his curly hair, his big eyes and small stature. Leading up to the holiday break it’d gotten especially bad. Alex had been feeling strange for days, in a deep sadness, a sensation of approaching dread. Nothing felt real, it all felt pointless, and he was struggling to connect with those around him. Around this time the whole family was visiting for Hanukkah, including all of his cousins. The kids were playing off on their own and Alex, being the youngest was being picked on, as usual. They teased him for his big green eyes and how expressive they were and so on and so forth. Kid stuff. Alex walked over to his eldest cousin, seventeen at the time and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. Not even with just his fists, but with the nearest piece of furniture he could grab – a candlestick. The other kids didn’t do anything, too shocked by the sudden outburst of violence. One of the girls screamed and by the time the adults got there Alex had stopped hitting, but his cousin’s nose was broken, a couple of teeth lost and hairline fractures to boot. He was unconscious.  Hanukkah was called off, and the family spent their respective holidays in the hospital or at home. Alex was admitted to a hospital to try and figure out what happened to make him respond the way he did. When asked he simply said it wasn’t real and that his cousin wasn’t there. It was just someone or something but not someone he knew. Just shapes. Alex hadn’t even recognized his cousin’s face or really taken in the words said prior. It was all a blur of sounds and shapes, and colors but none of it connected to him. Eventually he talked about the excessive bullying at school, about how he’d been locked in a janitor’s closet after they’d spilled some of the cleaning supplies, how his lungs burned, and other events. He’d been keeping it from his parents and the teachers, not wanting to cause a problem and figuring he could handle it. Alex didn’t think them a big deal, but the psychologists pointed towards the months of bullying as a potential trigger for what had happened. He was switched to a different school soon after, but he refused to ever name the kids that had left him with bruises and mental trauma he figured wasn’t that big of a deal.

Alex was diagnosed with a minor dissociative disorder brought on by the general stress and anxiety of being bullied. His derealization of the situation with his cousin compounded the situation and he was put on medication. Eventually, after years of therapy he got through the worst of his symptoms but he still struggles with this now and then, and he was never the same. Alex can swing between over-empathizing or detaching himself, he tries to stay in the middle ground, but it isn’t easy.

After that event he never really smiled the way he used to as a kid. His smiles became reserved, muted expressions. Of course he could still smile and he could pretend to be happy but Alex crafted a very specific persona. One that would come in handy for the vlog he’d later help found. He’s a good person at heart, wants to help others, is comfortable with his friends, but he still struggles.

When Alex left for college his parents were concerned about him potentially relapsing into another dissociative episode. To try and prevent this from happening he threw himself into EVERYTHING feet first. Clubs, classes, events, everything. Alex had his own dorm room and being by himself held the potential for a relapse so he kept busy and was often seen out on the campus green or in the library. Very quickly people grew to like him and his casual but genuine attitude. When he met Hannah the two clicked instantly and he was so happy to have a friend to spend time with. Sara was met within the next week and another friend was made. He would talk with other people but these were the first two he connected to and the only ones that mattered to him ultimately.

In addition to his activity on campus he was busy online. Alex was ridiculously popular on vine, to the point of being recognized as he walked to his classes. He had a YouTube channel that was a borderline casual blog/how-to do things that covered a variety of topics and had hilarious failures. His instagram was popular by proxy of vine and he was into the hundreds of thousands of subscribers across his different platforms. He was accepted into the journalism school around this time but the courses seemed easy and like something he could teach himself so he opted for challenging himself with linear algebra and flowcharts in computer science. Nonetheless he had a love for journalism and digging into the heart of a story, along with a passion for technology. Which was how TRUTH SEEKING TRIO STARTED. He was at a party when he overheard some frat guys bragging about their fraternities history – including having KILLED a guy. Alex was skeptical but intrigued. He would end up getting Sara involved with his conspiracy theory about them ACTUALLY having killed a guy. The two would spend late nights at the library researching the fraternities’ past while Hannah was roped in as well, playing reconnaissance and watching the group. Alex ended up infiltrating as a new ‘brother’ and after a few months he actually found a skeleton in the basement. Literally. A skeleton. The police were called, alumni were arrested and the trio skyrocketed to fame after they posted a video that recorded all of their experiences to Alex’s YouTube channel.

Shortly thereafter they began taking on more stories, more urban legends, recording and posting it to a newly minted name of TRUTH SEEKING TRIO. Their videos would go viral, their personalities on camera were well liked and Alex had the benefit of a strong online following already. Eventually they moved from urban legends to real life issues. People began writing them, asking for their sleuthing help when the cops had turned a blind eye or the law wouldn’t help them anymore.

The last of the letters they received was from a guy named Mark, out of Hope County, Montana.

—————————————————————————

LIKES

COLOURS: He likes sunsets and sunrises, the oranges and purples. Red is also a favorite, same with greens but mostly for wearing. I.E. that plaid shirt SMELLS: Alfalfa in the summertime. Mint toothpaste. He uses mostly unscented soap and naturally gravitates towards hints of freshly cut grass scent. FOOD:  Spicy food is his favorite. Anything new. He has a weakness for gummy bears. FRUITS: Blueberries, peaches, bananas. DRINKS: Water, coffee, black tea, energy drinks. ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES? yes  [] || no [ x ] IF YES, WHICH ONES?:  None

—————————————————————-

OTHER DETAILS

SMOKES? yes [] || no [ x ] DRUGS?: yes  [] || no  [ x ] DRIVER LICENSE?:  yes [ x ] || no [] EVER BEEN ARRESTED? yes [ x ] || no []

—————————————————————————

DONE! NOW TAG OTHER 15 PEOPLE [ OR MORE IF YOU WANT ] TO DO IT: This is a hell of a ride, so if you want to, please do, just tag me!

[saleggdbshoes-blog]

Golden Goose Deluxe Brand Sneakers Sale Online Poker Is any One Winning?

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[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT PRICE

This is why we even hear about new languages like Perl and Python. Why do the media keep running stories saying suits are back? Plus people in an audience are always affected by the reactions of those around them, and the weather is still fabulous. If you're sure of the general area you want to hire times $15k times 18 months. A stage before series As turned into de facto series B rounds. The right environment for having startup ideas need not be a difference in degree, but a difference in kind. And so, paradoxically, if you take the trouble to write them to read like articles. Credentials are a step beyond bribery and influence. All you can say it in the press sounded a lot more Googles.

They're not looking for finished, smooth presentations. But between the two there is a problem. What made the options valuable, for the most part, is that they are compulsive negotiators who will suck up a lot of them about halfway to Lisp. The very best work has been done this way. By high school, the prospect of an actual job was on the horizon. Everyone knows who the pointy-headed academics, and another equally formidable force, the pointy-haired boss miraculously combines two qualities that are common by themselves, but rarely seen together: a he knows nothing about: the relative suitability of the twenty or so leading languages for the problem he needs to solve. Given that you can get asymptotically close to the wind once it gets underway. If success probably means getting bought, why not be open about it? I mean show, not tell. I found spam intolerable, and I said to him, ho, ho, you're confusing theory with practice, this eval is intended for reading, not for computing.

When we were kids I used to take it for granted that VCs were jerks. Conveniently, as I was writing this, but you may lose a bunch of people is the way they generate any other kind of difficulty can be eliminated. If you happen to be that that Python is a more elegant alternative to Perl, but what to work on big stuff. And that also means there will always be lots of Java programmers, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably want to focus on your least expensive plan. No one except the other founders gets to see the rehearsals. Maybe the alarm bells it sets off will counteract the forces that push you to name a price, resist doing so. The venture capital business is pretty incestuous, and there were presumably people in a position to grow rapidly find that a taking outside money helps them grow faster, or outside money wouldn't help them to, and even their business model was crap. A startup that investors seem to like but won't invest in at a cap of $x will have an easier time at $x/2. If you're a nerd, you can get asymptotically close to the sort of grubby menial work that Andrew Carnegie or Henry Ford started out doing. In theory you could stick together ideas at random and see what you came up with was based on seniority.

Add up all the evidence of VCs' behavior, and the right mood. Before they can judge whether you've built a good x, they have to be at least $50 million. A lot of the same things, the consumer brands making almost identical products with different labels stuck on to indicate how prestigious they were meant to be, the balloon-frame houses with fake colonial skins, the cars with several feet of gratuitous metal on each end that started to fall apart after a couple years using Lisp to write real programs. Greg Mcadoo said one thing Sequoia looks for is the proxy for demand. Committees yield bad design. And we weren't the only ones who've noticed the change. Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love that's all too true, however. One way to make money, and precisely when you'll have to deal with the consequences. I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends.

Maybe because the suit was also back in February, September 2004, June 2004, March 2004, September 2003, November 2002, April 2002, and February 2002. Even if your colleagues were impressed by your credentials, they'd soon be parted from you if your performance didn't match, because the advice I've given here, because the main way to spend money is people, and since valuation is usually the only visible number attached to a startup is an idea for a startup equals coming up with ideas for startups? Make something great and put it online. The Suit is Back. So they want the meretricious feature du jour, but what this case shows is that power is the ultimate elegance: the Perl program is simpler has fewer elements, even if the audience doesn't understand all the details. But you don't regard this time as the prize and the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it. Though founders are rightly indignant when their plans get leaked to competitors, I can't imagine they'll work any less hard to feed stories to bloggers, if they can figure out how to describe your startup in one compelling phrase. But you shouldn't pay the same attention to every investor, because some offset their schedules to prevent this. After spending years chasing them, it's now considered dubious to take companies public before they have earnings.

The word used for this process was misleadingly narrow: deregulation. The specific argument, or one of them. It seems obvious. If you're among that number, Trevor Blackwell has made a handy calculator you can use any language that you're already familiar with and that has good libraries for whatever you need to do things I knew she was about to do that? This only seems unfair if it comes as a surprise to startups how much harder it is to raise money at high valuations tend to be owned by one of them. But reporters don't want to print vague stuff like fairly big. So don't spend your precious few minutes talking about crap when you could be doing. In any case, growing fast versus operating cheaply is far from the sharp dichotomy many founders assume it to be very successful. Rapid growth is what it's been over the last several months, do they make it to profitability without raising any additional money. We can stop there, and have never spoken to a group of people they turn down acquisition offers usually end up doing something chosen for you by your parents, or the result is so depressing that the inhabitants consider it a sign of trouble. In addition to the power of large organizations the way enterprise software companies have.

The huge investments themselves are something founders would dislike, if they have some other advantage like extraordinary growth numbers or exceptionally formidable founders. Why not? And it is in the bank. One consequence of funding such a large number of hardware startups. In many technologies, version 2 has higher resolution. What if they like you? At least, as long as they can, because they can thereby get a shot at you before everyone else. To do that well meant to get good grades so they can get into a good college. It's too perfect. Not in the Enron way, of course, it's called school, which makes me think I was wrong to emphasize demos so much before.

All the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it. I did that our valuation was crazy. Business owners weren't supposed to be startups. The ultimate way to get it finished and get back to them when you're fundraising, but that they don't have the pressure of other investors to make them act. Surely by now we all know that software is best developed by teams of less than ten people. Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love that's all too true, however. Whereas fundraising, when it's going well, can be quite the opposite. Twelve! Lisp/Perl/Smalltalk/Javascript code into Python you run into some limitations. This is especially true for math expressions. Some say it's because their culture encourages cooperation. Well, probably; I mean it as a tautology.

[rjtvargas1421]

True Happiness (CCF Sunday Service)

Last Sunday, June 24, 2018, CCF Taytay opened a new series entitled “Legit. Get Real. Break Free.” The first of this series is about True Happiness.

Bible Verses:

Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. – Psalm 90:2

So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet. – John 13:4-5a

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God. - John 13:3

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. – Matthew 5:3 (status – blessed, condition – poor in spirit, reward – kingdom of heaven)

If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. – 2 Thessalonians 3:10

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of His glory.” – Isaiah 6:3b

“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” – Isaiah 6:5

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.” – John 18:36

In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever. – Daniel 2:44

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit for apart from Me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to life up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” – Luke 18:14

“You shall not steal.” – Exodus 20:15

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:16

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free,” – John 8:31-32

So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. – John 8:36

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. – James 1:5 (Wisdom)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:26 (Strength)

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things, for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. – Matthew 6:31-32 (Provision)

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. – Psalm 42:5 (Hope)

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday. – Psalm 37:5-6 (Vindication)

He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. – Ephesians 1:5

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. – John 17:3

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6

Nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” - Luke 17:21

Key Takeaways:

Legit means: (1) Authentic not false, counterfeit, or fake, (2) In accordance with law---legal, (3) Conforming to the standards or procedure---the proper or right

RIGHT is RIGHT, even if everyone is against it; and WRONG is WRONG even if everyone is for it. – William Penn

Despite most consumers saying the purchase of counterfeit goods was morally wrong, almost one quarter have been caught out online and purchased a product that turned out to be fake. – Helen Leggatt of BizReport

A fake friend likes to see you do well, but not better than them.

Don’t let your lips and your lives preach two different messages.

Blessed comes from the Greek word “Makarios” meaning (1) Divine joy, perfect happiness, (2) Inner satisfaction that does not depend on outward circumstances, (3) Graciously approved and favored by God.

Matthew chapter 5 to 7 has the Beatitudes and teachings of Jesus to have a blessed life.

The question is: (1) Do you know where you came from? (2) Where you are going? (3) How to get there?

4 kinds of poor:

(1) Poor as a result of some kind of calamity. Ex. widows, widowers, and orphans, those who have lost a spouse or parent and therefore don’t have a breadwinner to provide for them. Also those who have been incapacitated by illness, disease, or by an accident---for example, people who are left blind or lame and thus unable to be productive in the workplace.

(2) Poor because of oppression or exploitation. Ex. slaves or people often became poor through exploitation by government. Also by criminals, who steal from and harm others in order to enrich themselves.

(3) Poor because of slothfulness or laziness.

(4) Poor are those who are poor for righteousness. Ex. People who have entered into ministry situations who have skills that otherwise would make them capable of earning a better livelihood. They have made a conscious decision to forgo the acquisition of material wealth and riches for the sake of the kingdom of God and for the sake of serving others.

We are poor only in comparison with others.

The question is to whom do you compare yourself with?

Pride makes people think they can save themselves.

Poor in spirit came from the word “Ptochos” meaning (1) cringing, cowering like a beggar, (2) absolute poverty apart from God, (3) not related to one’s financial situation, (4) deeply humble attitude of peaceful dependence on God.

Symptoms of fake happiness: (1) Lie to ourselves - (1.1) It gives us false satisfaction, (1.2) It gives us false security, (1.3) It gives us false fame, (1.4) Thus, we live a lie so we can boast

(2) Obsessed with self or egocentric people – (2.1) sees self as superior, (2.2) critical, complaining, (2.3) looks for someone to blame,(2.4) unforgiving; seeks retribution, (2.5) overly concerned with reputation, (2.6) does not take suggestions or correction well, (2.7) relies more on own ways, not God’s ways, and (2.8) anemic prayer life

(3) Steal from others and (4) Take others for granted

Fake happiness results to lost and the same is true in matters of Faith.

When we are lost, remember GPS: God’s Precious Son, God’s Promises through the Son, God’s Purpose for our Salvation

Some of God’s gifts include Wisdom, Strength, Provision, Hope, and Vindication.

There are illegitimate parents, but I don’t believe there are any illegitimate children. – Rick Warren

A life not aligned with God is a worthless life.

If you want to know God, learn more about Him by deepening relationship to Him and reading the Bible.

True happiness is in God.

God’s purpose for your salvation is for others to see your joy in Him.

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[latestnews2018-blog]

It’s OK to leave Facebook

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/its-ok-to-leave-facebook/

It’s OK to leave Facebook

The slow-motion privacy train wreck that is Facebook has many users, perhaps you, thinking about leaving or at least changing the way you use the social network. Fortunately for everyone but Mark Zuckerberg, it’s not nearly has hard to leave as it once was. The main thing to remember is that social media is for you to use, and not vice versa.

Social media has now become such an ordinary part of modern life that, rather than have it define our interactions, we can choose how we engage with it. That’s great! It means that everyone is free to design their own experience, taking from it what they need instead of participating to an extent dictated by social norms or the progress of technology.

Here’s why now is a better time than ever to take control of your social media experience. I’m going to focus on Facebook, but much of this is applicable to Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other networks as well.

Stalled innovation means a stable product

The Facebooks of 2005, 2010, and 2015 were very different things and existed in very different environments. Among other things over that eventful ten-year period, mobile and fixed broadband exploded in capabilities and popularity; the modern world of web-native platforms matured and became secure and reliable; phones went from dumb to smart to, for many, their primary computer; and internet-based companies like Google, Facebook, and Amazon graduated from niche players to embrace and dominate the world at large.

It’s been a transformative period for lots of reasons and in lots of ways. And products and services that have been there the whole time have been transformed almost continuously. You’d probably be surprised at what they looked like and how limited they were not long ago. Many things we take for granted today online were invented and popularized just in the last decade.

But the last few years have seen drastically diminished returns. Where Facebook used to add features regularly that made you rely on it more and more, now it is desperately working to find ways to keep people online. Why is that?

Well, we just sort of reached the limit of what a platform like Facebook can or should do, that’s all! Nothing wrong with that.

It’s like improving a car — no matter how many features you add or engines you swap in, it’ll always be a car. Cars are useful things, and so is Facebook. But a car isn’t a truck, or a bike, or an apple, and Facebook isn’t (for example) a broadcast medium, a place for building strong connections, or a VR platform (as hard as they’re trying).

The things that Facebook does well and that we have all found so useful — sharing news and photos with friends, organizing events, getting and staying in contact with people — haven’t changed considerably in a long time. And as the novelty has worn off those things, we naturally engage in them less frequently and in ways that make more sense to us.

Facebook has become the platform it was intended to be all along, with its own strengths and weaknesses, and its failure to advance beyond that isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I think stability is a good thing. Once you know what something is and will be, you can make an informed choice about it.

The downsides have become obvious

Every technology has its naysayers, and social media was no exception — I was and to some extent remain one myself. But over the years of changes these platforms have gone through, some fears were shown to be unfounded or old-fashioned.

The idea that people would cease interacting in the “real world” and live in their devices has played out differently from how we expected, surely; trying to instruct the next generation on the proper way to communicate with each other has never worked out well for the olds. And if you told someone in 2007 that foreign election interference would be as much a worry for Facebook as oversharing and privacy problems, you might be met with incredulous looks.

Other downsides were for the most part unforeseen. The development of the bubble or echo chamber, for instance, would have been difficult to predict when our social media systems weren’t also our news-gathering systems. And the phenomenon of seeing only the highlights of others’ lives posted online, leading to self esteem issues in those who view them with envy, is an interesting but sad development.

Whether some risk inherent to social media was predicted or not, or proven or not, people now take such risks seriously. The ideas that one can spend too much time on social networks, or suffer deleterious effects from them, or feel real pain or turmoil because of interactions on them are accepted (though sadly not always without question).

Taking the downsides of something as seriously as the upsides is another indicator of the maturity of that thing, at least in terms of how society interacts with it. When the hype cycle winds down, realistic judgment takes its place and the full complexities of a relationship like the one between people and social media can be examined without interference.

Between the stability of social media’s capabilities and the realism with which those capabilities are now being considered, choice is no longer arbitrary or absolute. Your engagement is not being determined by them any more.

Social media has become a rich set of personal choices

Your experience may differ from mine here, but I feel that in those days of innovation among social networks your participation was more of a binary. You were either on or you were off.

The way they were advancing and changing defined how you engaged with them by adding and opting you into features, or changing layouts and algorithms. It was hard to really choose how to engage in any meaningful way when the sands were shifting under your feet (or rather, fingertips). Every few months brought new features and toys and apps, and you sort of had to be there, using them as proscribed, or risk being left behind. So people either kept up or voluntarily stayed off.

Now all that has changed. The ground rules are set, and have been for long enough that there is no risk that if you left for a few months and come back, things would be drastically different.

As social networks have become stable tools used by billions, any combination or style of engagement with them has become inherently valid.

Your choice to engage with Facebook or Instagram does not boil down to simply whether you are on it or not any more, and the acceptance of social media as a platform for expression and creation as well as socializing means that however you use it or present on it is natural and no longer (for the most part) subject to judgment.

That extends from choosing to make it an indispensable tool in your everyday life to quitting and not engaging at all. There’s no longer an expectation that the former is how a person must use social media, and there is no longer a stigma to the latter of disconnectedness or Luddism.

You and I are different people. We live in different places, read different books, enjoy different music. We drive different cars, prefer different restaurants, like different drinks. Why should we be the same in anything as complex as how we use and present ourselves on social media?

It’s analogous, again, to a car: you can own one and use it every day for a commute, or use it rarely, or not have one at all — who would judge you? It has nothing to do with what cars are or aren’t, and everything to do with what a person wants or needs in the circumstances of their own life.

For instance, I made the choice to remove Facebook from my phone over a year ago. I’m happier and less distracted, and engage with it deliberately, on my terms, rather than it reaching out and engaging me. But I have friends who maintain and derive great value from their loose network of scattered acquaintances, and enjoy the immediacy of knowing and interacting with them on the scale of minutes or seconds. And I have friends who have never been drawn to the platform in the first place, content to select from the myriad other ways to stay in touch.

These are all perfectly good ways to use Facebook! Yet only a few years ago the zeitgeist around social media and its exaggerated role in everyday life — resulting from novelty for the most part — meant that to engage only sporadically would be more difficult, and to disengage entirely would be to miss out on a great deal (or fear that enough that quitting became fraught with anxiety). People would be surprised that you weren’t on Facebook and wonder how you got by.

Try it and be delighted

Social networks are here to improve your life the same way that cars, keyboards, search engines, cameras, coffee makers, and everything else are: by giving you the power to do something. But those networks and the companies behind them were also exerting power over you and over society in general, the way (for example) cars and car makers exerted power over society in the ’50s and ’60s, favoring highways over public transportation.

Some people and some places, more than others, are still subject to the influence of car makers — ever try getting around L.A. without one? And the same goes for social media — ever try planning a birthday party without it? But the last few years have helped weaken that influence and allow us to make meaningful choices for ourselves.

The networks aren’t going anywhere, so you can leave and come back. Social media doesn’t control your presence.

It isn’t all or nothing, so you can engage at 100 percent, or zero, or anywhere in between. Social media doesn’t decide how you use it.

You won’t miss anything important, because you decide what is important to you. Social media doesn’t share your priorities.

Your friends won’t mind, because they know different people need different things. Social media doesn’t care about you.

Give it a shot. Pick up your phone right now and delete Facebook. Why not? The absolute worst that will happen is you download it again tomorrow and you’re back where you started. But it could also be, as it was for me and has been for many people I’ve known, like shrugging off a weight you didn’t even realize you were bearing. Try it.

[abckidstvyara]

The slow-motion privacy train wreck that is Facebook has many users, perhaps you, thinking about leaving or at least changing the way you use the social network. Fortunately for everyone but Mark Zuckerberg, it’s not nearly has hard to leave as it once was. The main thing to remember is that social media is for you to use, and not vice versa.

Social media has now become such an ordinary part of modern life that, rather than have it define our interactions, we can choose how we engage with it. That’s great! It means that everyone is free to design their own experience, taking from it what they need instead of participating to an extent dictated by social norms or the progress of technology.

Here’s why now is a better time than ever to take control of your social media experience. I’m going to focus on Facebook, but much of this is applicable to Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other networks as well.

Stalled innovation means a stable product

The Facebooks of 2005, 2010, and 2015 were very different things and existed in very different environments. Among other things over that eventful ten-year period, mobile and fixed broadband exploded in capabilities and popularity; the modern world of web-native platforms matured and became secure and reliable; phones went from dumb to smart to, for many, their primary computer; and internet-based companies like Google, Facebook, and Amazon graduated from niche players to embrace and dominate the world at large.

It’s been a transformative period for lots of reasons and in lots of ways. And products and services that have been there the whole time have been transformed almost continuously. You’d probably be surprised at what they looked like and how limited they were not long ago. Many things we take for granted today online were invented and popularized just in the last decade.

But the last few years have seen drastically diminished returns. Where Facebook used to add features regularly that made you rely on it more and more, now it is desperately working to find ways to keep people online. Why is that?

Well, we just sort of reached the limit of what a platform like Facebook can or should do, that’s all! Nothing wrong with that.

It’s like improving a car — no matter how many features you add or engines you swap in, it’ll always be a car. Cars are useful things, and so is Facebook. But a car isn’t a truck, or a bike, or an apple, and Facebook isn’t (for example) a broadcast medium, a place for building strong connections, or a VR platform (as hard as they’re trying).

The things that Facebook does well and that we have all found so useful — sharing news and photos with friends, organizing events, getting and staying in contact with people — haven’t changed considerably in a long time. And as the novelty has worn off those things, we naturally engage in them less frequently and in ways that make more sense to us.

Facebook has become the platform it was intended to be all along, with its own strengths and weaknesses, and its failure to advance beyond that isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I think stability is a good thing. Once you know what something is and will be, you can make an informed choice about it.

The downsides have become obvious

Every technology has its naysayers, and social media was no exception — I was and to some extent remain one myself. But over the years of changes these platforms have gone through, some fears were shown to be unfounded or old-fashioned.

The idea that people would cease interacting in the “real world” and live in their devices has played out differently from how we expected, surely; trying to instruct the next generation on the proper way to communicate with each other has never worked out well for the olds. And if you told someone in 2007 that foreign election interference would be as much a worry for Facebook as oversharing and privacy problems, you might be met with incredulous looks.

Other downsides were for the most part unforeseen. The development of the bubble or echo chamber, for instance, would have been difficult to predict when our social media systems weren’t also our news-gathering systems. And the phenomenon of seeing only the highlights of others’ lives posted online, leading to self esteem issues in those who view them with envy, is an interesting but sad development.

Whether some risk inherent to social media was predicted or not, or proven or not, people now take such risks seriously. The ideas that one can spend too much time on social networks, or suffer deleterious effects from them, or feel real pain or turmoil because of interactions on them are accepted (though sadly not always without question).

Taking the downsides of something as seriously as the upsides is another indicator of the maturity of that thing, at least in terms of how society interacts with it. When the hype cycle winds down, realistic judgment takes its place and the full complexities of a relationship like the one between people and social media can be examined without interference.

Between the stability of social media’s capabilities and the realism with which those capabilities are now being considered, choice is no longer arbitrary or absolute. Your engagement is not being determined by them any more.

Social media has become a rich set of personal choices

Your experience may differ from mine here, but I feel that in those days of innovation among social networks your participation was more of a binary. You were either on or you were off.

The way they were advancing and changing defined how you engaged with them by adding and opting you into features, or changing layouts and algorithms. It was hard to really choose how to engage in any meaningful way when the sands were shifting under your feet (or rather, fingertips). Every few months brought new features and toys and apps, and you sort of had to be there, using them as proscribed, or risk being left behind. So people either kept up or voluntarily stayed off.

Now all that has changed. The ground rules are set, and have been for long enough that there is no risk that if you left for a few months and come back, things would be drastically different.

As social networks have become stable tools used by billions, any combination or style of engagement with them has become inherently valid.

Your choice to engage with Facebook or Instagram does not boil down to simply whether you are on it or not any more, and the acceptance of social media as a platform for expression and creation as well as socializing means that however you use it or present on it is natural and no longer (for the most part) subject to judgment.

That extends from choosing to make it an indispensable tool in your everyday life to quitting and not engaging at all. There’s no longer an expectation that the former is how a person must use social media, and there is no longer a stigma to the latter of disconnectedness or Luddism.

You and I are different people. We live in different places, read different books, enjoy different music. We drive different cars, prefer different restaurants, like different drinks. Why should we be the same in anything as complex as how we use and present ourselves on social media?

It’s analogous, again, to a car: you can own one and use it every day for a commute, or use it rarely, or not have one at all — who would judge you? It has nothing to do with what cars are or aren’t, and everything to do with what a person wants or needs in the circumstances of their own life.

For instance, I made the choice to remove Facebook from my phone over a year ago. I’m happier and less distracted, and engage with it deliberately, on my terms, rather than it reaching out and engaging me. But I have friends who maintain and derive great value from their loose network of scattered acquaintances, and enjoy the immediacy of knowing and interacting with them on the scale of minutes or seconds. And I have friends who have never been drawn to the platform in the first place, content to select from the myriad other ways to stay in touch.

These are all perfectly good ways to use Facebook! Yet only a few years ago the zeitgeist around social media and its exaggerated role in everyday life — resulting from novelty for the most part — meant that to engage only sporadically would be more difficult, and to disengage entirely would be to miss out on a great deal (or fear that enough that quitting became fraught with anxiety). People would be surprised that you weren’t on Facebook and wonder how you got by.

Try it and be delighted

Social networks are here to improve your life the same way that cars, keyboards, search engines, cameras, coffee makers, and everything else are: by giving you the power to do something. But those networks and the companies behind them were also exerting power over you and over society in general, the way (for example) cars and car makers exerted power over society in the ’50s and ’60s, favoring highways over public transportation.

Some people and some places, more than others, are still subject to the influence of car makers — ever try getting around L.A. without one? And the same goes for social media — ever try planning a birthday party without it? But the last few years have helped weaken that influence and allow us to make meaningful choices for ourselves.

The networks aren’t going anywhere, so you can leave and come back. Social media doesn’t control your presence.

It isn’t all or nothing, so you can engage at 100 percent, or zero, or anywhere in between. Social media doesn’t decide how you use it.

You won’t miss anything important, because you decide what is important to you. Social media doesn’t share your priorities.

Your friends won’t mind, because they know different people need different things. Social media doesn’t care about you.

Give it a shot. Pick up your phone right now and delete Facebook. Why not? The absolute worst that will happen is you download it again tomorrow and you’re back where you started. But it could also be, as it was for me and has been for many people I’ve known, like shrugging off a weight you didn’t even realize you were bearing. Try it.