#grad is coming up
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6 songs on repeat 🎵
Thank you to @weirdhorsegirlonline for the tag!!! <3
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths
Father and Son by Yusuf / Cat Stevens
Better by sign crushes motorist
Theatre by Etta Marcus
End of Beginning by Djo
Change by Alex G
I've been going through it 👁️👁️.
I don't want to pressure anyone, but I'd love to tag @totentnz @housevael @seraphfighter @sacredcyber @glitchinginthegarden @vaamiel, and anyone else that wants to join in the music fun~
#tag games~~~#thank you for the tag!!!#grad is coming up#and a lot of personal life changes as well#needless to say im a bit stressed ahah#bishi talks
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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((HI ITS @THEFINALWITNESS)) UR TAGS FILLED ME WITH SUCH UNEXPECTED JOY I AM CHEWING AND GNAWING AT THEM. Y'SHTOLA RHUL IS SO SELF-DESTRUCTIVELY BENEVOLENT AND LOVING AND I AM GOING CRAZY FEELING LIKE SO FEW PPL SEE THAT!!! SHE LOVES THE WOL!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF WE INTERPRET IT PLATONICALLY OR ROMANTICALLY OR ANYTHING ELSE SHE *LOVES* THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT SO MUCH.
the way her dialogue with the player changes after reuniting in rak'tika will live rent free in my brain forever. i could not BELIEVE the shift but it struck out to me immediately how obvious it was she was lowkey reeling from a combination of "what is fucking happening to you" and "i can't believe i almost killed you" and "i'm so fucking happy to see™ you" and "i wish i could see™ YOU and not whatever is HAPPENING to you" AND IT'S SO!!!! HOW DOES THIS NOT REND PEOPLE TO SHREDS ON THE SPOT. HOW CAN ANYONE CALL HER BORING OR JUST THE COOL KNOWER OF THINGS. TAKE HER TO VANASPATI AND TELL ME SHE'S BORING OR ONE-DIMENSIONAL. I'M THROWING ROCKS (NOT AT YOU I'M OVERJOYED BY YOUR TAGS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RESTORING MY FAITH IN Y'SHTOLA NATION)
YEAH!! YEAH !!!!!
and regardless of platonic vs romantic interpretation, even her famously memeable moments are indicative of a genuine care for the wol. like, pre-shadowbringers y'shtola would not have made a casual sexual joke toward you, let alone several. that can be read as flirting or as the kind of dumb shit that two best friends say to each other, but it doesn't matter!! she's opened up to wol enough to banter on that level!! on urianger ass slap level!! but everyone just uses it as milf fuel! STAY AWAY FROM HER !!!!
the "I wish I had the echo so I could see into your heart without the need for words" moment! again, regardless of whether or not you read that as platonic or romantic, it's indicative of great care! she's saying "I want to understand you. actually, I do understand you because even without knowing what happened, I know that this was immensely painful and I don't want to inflict it upon you again." and then she prefaces asking the wol to recount the events with "when you're ready" .... I also vaguely recall a time (don't remember the expac so if someone knows pls say so) when everyone was ragging on alphinaud and y'shtola was the one to be like "okay hey, this is a bit too much. let's cut it out."
her calling out thancred during shadowbringers and holding him accountable for his behavior toward minfilia/ryne? love. always asking the wol to accompany her and help her observe ruins/artifacts/etc. and asking for their opinions (which is also keeping the wol in her constant sight™ in the event of the slightest change)? love. her being the one to voice that ryne should have her own name because she doesn't deserve to live in someone else's shadow? love. she's a lover. she's brutally honest and she's a reliable friend and everything that she does is rooted in love because she wouldn't ever put in so much effort or hold such high standards for something she didn't care about. one of the most layered and interesting characters in this entire game, not just waifu bait. god.
#I'm in grad school these are not the paragraphs I am supposed to be writing right now but#using shtola analysis as a warmup yeah#y'shtola rhul#I desperately need more of her come on msq it's time#ffxiv#violshtola#out of all the scions she is genuinely one who shows the Most care for the wol. gonna throw up.#PLEASE throw rocks at me I need to get the brainrot under control !!!!!
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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OH I forgot to share this. Rosie graduated from puppy school
#shes thinking about going to puppy grad school#maybe even get a puppy doctorate#in biting#(she actually doesn't bite anymore. The issue we're working on now is her jumping up on ppl)#shes getting spayed on monday and im feeling anxious about it#like I know the positives far out way the negatives#Im just worried itll be traumatizing for her or some shit#the vet we took my old dog Jilly too was a fucking butcher. Used metal staples to close her up. You could visibly see/feel them on her#she had them the rest of her life#Im just scared something will go wrong#Jilly dieing was one of the hardest things Ive ever been thro in my life. I still think about her everyday#I dont know if I could come back if I lost Rose
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Tip: if you find yourself having to continually post introductions and "about me"-type things—for example, being a student in an online-only program that always always starts with a mandatory introduction post— save all your introductions in one document.
This allows you to remember, reuse and reconfigure what you've used before without using the exact same thing every time, and keeps them all together so you don't have to go hunting them down.
Second tip: this goes triple if a "two truths and a lie" game is part of the post requirement.
#part of the problem is I can never come up with truths and lies that go well together without like 2 days' advance notice#but also because I'll have some of the same classmates in different classes and wanted to find things that legit could trick them#Now I can decide if I want to use the same things or alter the contents or tone without starting from scratch each time#tips#college#grad school
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...
#being back in the lab is giving me whiplash#bc i like seeing all the ppl again. i like seeing my cultures again. but in the one class im taking im worried for the amount of reading#and discussing ill have to do. its going to b very obvious when im struggling to understand what im reading#and thats in addition to the reading ill have to do specific to my project. and my dad's like: ur mental health comes 1st. if it's too much#then step away but if i did that i really would be cutting the cord between myself and ever finishing in this program. ugh. how am i already#more tired than when i was getting up at 3 am and spending 8hrs on my feet?#and this morning. after 3 months of applications i finally have an interview for a government job.#so im like here going thru the motions of being a grad student but im still holding on to my way out#rn my ideal would be that i actually get this job im interviewing for bc it involves growing microbes for agricultural research and i want#to stay a microbiologist. but i would have enough time to finish out the semester before moving across the country yet again.#bc i dont wanna just leave bc i teach 2 lab sections but i dont think i wanna do this anymore#but hey it's only day 2. ive got plenty of time to change my mind#it just sucks and im tired#unrelated
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are you guys gonna be mad with me for having to push back part three till next thursday 👉👈😔
i’m just a girl
this next part is going to be the longest since it’s the final part and there’s a lot i want to cover, and i still haven’t even gotten the chance to sit down and start working on it (excluding yesterday where i spent all day building R2 instead of writing 👩🦯👩🦯)
i’ve had such a busy schedule the last two weeks 😭 yesterday was the first time i’d been able to even sit home all day and relax, but if it’s any consolation after this i won’t be pushing it back anymore- part 3 will be out the 29th.
i’ve already got the outline!! love you all and i am so sorry for doing this again 💀 (promise this is not gonna be a royal heart situation where i don’t update for almost a whole year 👩🦯👩🦯)
#literally just got home for the day too#went out for breakfast to catch up with a friend from high school#this is the busiest i’ve been since grad tbh#my birthday had people coming out from the woodworks making plans with me#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#summer love series#anakin skywalker x reader#queenie’s thoughts xx<3
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i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet
#absolutely adore my parents but i’m just excited to Have My Own Place again. where i can unpack all my shit & decorate & stay for a year#and be back downtown tbh. the suburbs are very quiet & it’s peaceful but i feel so lonely out here#i’m gonna have to wait til october for prices to drop a bit but i’m determined to make it work#i got a dope job as a neurofeedback technician but it’s only 9-15h/week ($22cad/h) soooo that ain’t gonna cut it#little nervous cuz frankly i dunno if i can handle working more than ~30h/week rn & also. holy fuck it’s hard finding decent part-time jobs#although! last night my old manager asked if i’d consider coming back to the restaurant to host/do cash on a casual basis/for the holidays#which means i’m probably going to end up balancing 3 jobs again. which is kinda fucked up lol but it’s good money so i can’t turn it down#anyways i’m getting ahead of myself#i do feel like i’m genuinely looking forward to things for the first time in a while though#like grad school next year & tattoos this fall & hopefully making friends w new coworkers n shit. even if it’s unbelievably stressful 👍#pegasus speaks#hi btw i am alive. i just haven’t really been very interested in tumblr at all lately. which is kinda weird but probably for the best
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mhmmm thinking of biker! Simon 'ghost' riley and his amazingly smart gf who's a woman in STEM
#im thinking#im a powerhorse with the amount of aus n inspo n ideas i have rn#like biker ghost n his nerdy lil gf studying for post grad/phd#him coming to pick her up and taking her on a ride around town cuz he knows how overwhelming postgrad studying can get#and how she needs a break sometimes#he'd be so gentle too#like#'c'mere lovie let us get some fresh air'#so warm so fuzzy so nice#everyone deserves a biker bf like simon fr#call of duty#cod#cod:mw2#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#char.simon ghost riley#celena.rambles
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Did you *really* go to college if you didn't do this at least twice a semester?
#my roommates at yonsei- which i'm still amazed Noeul is a yonsei grad- would vanish for DAYS into the library#preparing for their English exams#and like- my girls you have a native english speaker back in the dorm can I help you study#but they would BOTH do this when they finally surfaced for air#sophia- she went by her english name- and ryeong-ah; they were both my Sig#they would come back and just scream 'my bedddd' and dive onto sophia's bed#i say sophia's bed because ryeong-ah couldn't be bothered to climb onto her bunk bed#so she'd just lay quite literally on top of sophia#i have a photo it's one of my favorites because you can see that sophia is about to deliver a violent kick to her spine#love in the air#lita#rain#first semester my roommates were all older than me so i was supposed to be polite and i only ever used polite korean#i was perfectly well behaved#but that first semester in korea my roommates were horrible- all were banned from the program they were so bad#but i remember most that at midterms i was studying so hard for my religion in korean history exams that i'd be at the library until 2am#and then walk back to the dorm a mile away- and like everyone was doing that so it wasn't scary walking the mountain at night#but i'd get back and my roommates would be drunk and yelling in the dorm until 6am or so#and that was almost every night regardless#but during midterms i was so tired and so fried and my classes started at 7am so i wasn't sleeping#and i finally showed my roommates that i can say 'shut the fuck up' in korean without any accent whatsoever
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maybe try treating this blog less like something you "have" to post on and instead look at it like something you "can" post on. does that make sense? like maybe just come on here to talk about your life and things happening to you instead of having this blog mainly focused on steve/writing! it's YOUR blog
you are so sweet for this message my honey 🥹 it is true that sometimes i feel i should be posting just because i’ve been quiet for a little while but straight up i feel like my libido has dropped off. and if im not horndog then this blog gets soooooo much less appealing to be on
idk it’s a whole buncha things that i want to work on so i can make this blog more fun for everyone involved but! that takes time that i don’t have and effort i can’t spare so you’re all stuck with me whinging for another couple months LMAO
#basically i know i gotta reframe things to enjoy it more but i just.. cannot do that rn#also this blog did sorta steer too hard into only writing because i feel most* of the asks i get are thinly veiled requests for a fic#*but not all! i still have a few sweethearts who do like to check up on me#but yes i thought it would be nice to still be considered for people’s ideas when ive been absent but#when i come back and it’s like BAM IMAGINE STEVES COCK PLEASE WRITE MY DETAILED IDEA i’m always like 😭 wait what happened to hello#jay answers#anon#what’s going on in my life is just grad school 😭
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Mentally circling my q!Tubbo is vh!Tubbo AU now that Seapeekay has been confirmed for Purgatory 2.
#qsmp#qsmp Tubbo#I’m supposed to be finishing my grad school apps#but I just want to write fanfiction#POV: you got yoinked to superhell and stumble across your friends’ amnesiac son that’s been missing for months#he does not recognize you#you try to explain who you are and get him to come home with you#if you all live#that’s still up in the air who knows#but the demon guy that he’s friends with has threatened to spawn camp you#and you have seen enough death messages to know he probably means it#what do?#that time we went BACK to superhell <3
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oh boy another literary studies blog post-cum-article on the function of the imagination vis a vis archiving that fails to cite any work from actual archival studies!!!!
#but yet again cites hartman (who i do love to be clear!!!) and derrida#i don't believe in calling out grad students by name but keywords here are upenn archives 19C novel#or just dm me if you want to know lol#as a theory hoe i do. like. respect the urge to theorize 'enclosures' (not what this article ends up doing) and archival limitations etc#but also! archivists are not not thinking about this themselves!!!#we've got articles too! we're also coming up with practical workarounds!#at least this time the author glancingly refers to the existence of the finding aid?#though continuing to ignore the archival labor that went into producing it :)#on the flip side of course many archivists are dumb as rocks and most saa publications are actively hostile to good writing. but still#as somebody without a phd but who spends a lot of time professionally and socially around those who do: respect the archivist or else!!!!
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