#gotta pay my friend back for a ticket

[catfishofoldin99colours]

looking at my finances and upcoming bills and shit to pay for and realising I'm basically gonna be spending the first month of the year broke as shit if not worse 🫠🫠🫠

[twistitch]

Very excited for next summer. Got some tickets to go see Ghost. Gonna be looking forward to that, so it'll help me get through the incoming seasonal depression/work frustrations.

Only thing is not looking forward to potentially having to be the one to drive into the city. We'll see what happens, lots of time until then.

Just gonna focus on the excitement and anticipation. 😌

[crest-of-gautier]

got the badges for gone fission evp 400 + evp 600 yesterday! .52 gal, l-3 nozzlenose, dread wringer, and squiffer make for quite the synergistic team!

my peak was EVP 810 (appx 300-310% HL). my high score of 151 eggs was obtained somewhere in evp 300...? i'm pretty satisfied with how it went, even if i didn't get HLM or 9s.

some thoughts/reflections on good freelancing teams/traits to develop when trying to rank up in evp under the cut:

i think grinding this rotation was pretty fun- all of the weapons have excellent mobility and i think they cover for each other really well! the l-3 was not my favorite weapon going into it but i think i really enjoyed the accuracy and mobility of it, so it's a bit more favorable for me now :)

i ended up reaching a skill wall in EVP 760-780 where i could not get past wave 2 or 3 (usually for quota related reasons, the quota is BRUTAL! we'd miss it by like 4-5 ish... ofc this partially relates to how well bosses are handled).

the grind for evp was a mix of freelance and grouping up (freelance for 230 -> 440s, grouping up for 440 - 750~, and then testing myself in freelance for that last bit).

i enjoyed the bits of freelance i did, and from my playtime i think these were some of the key traits/practices that indicate "good salmon run skills" to me:

players that know their weapons role(s) and target the appropriate salmonid (but also being willing to break that when priority targets haven't been taken care of)

knowing when a teammate needs help (with a boss or being revived) or when the teammate has a situation under control (e.g. someone's already on the fishstick, you can do something else)

proactive use of specials when problem targets appear, preferably with no overlap (e.g. tri-strike and inkjet activated on the same flyfishes is not the best)

using specials like booyah bomb, triple splashdown, and reefslider to clear basket area in the last 30 seconds to help eggs get in (especially important past evp 600)

teams that paint the walls first thing (especially whoever had the dread wringer). all interior walls for fission can be painted within the first 10 seconds imo

forwarding eggs closer to the basket after splatting static bosses (throwing one egg, and then swimming up with one)

players with good judgment; knowing when to lure (mostly for initial boss spawns), and knowing when to leave the big shot cannon

being able to figure out which directions snatchers come from and what eggs they can help you collect

i think these practices all stem from having good awareness and being able to collect information about the shift. it helps with making snappy quick-fire decisions, and it just gets more important the higher up in EVP you go. camera positioning/control is essential for this (you can't figure out where bosses/teammates are if your back is turned to them).

for me, every 7-10 seconds, i like to rotate my camera around to the opposite side of where i'm currently looking to make sure there isn't any bosses i'm missing. i'm hardly in one place longer than 5-10 seconds and i try to always be on the move. the spawn direction where salmonids come from are always changing, so it's essential to rotate around the map proactively rather than reactively. i think this also helps a lot with shotcalling in groups too (since you can be someone else's pair of eyes).

other than boss spawns/teammate locations (for revives), i think it's also important to notice when certain bosses haven't been taken care of for prolonged periods of time too, so that a special can be popped. to me it's usually a sign that someone whose ill equipped to deal with that boss has been forced to deal with them because the people with the "right" weapon are focused on something else... (no fault to them, of course, everyone has different priorities and you can't always communicate clearly in freelance)

in situations where squiffers were chased by a pack of scrappers, perhaps a booyah bomb or splashdown can be popped to help if you don't have the time to stun and splat them manually. maybe the fish sticks were left unattended by the shooters, so a triple inkstrike or a crab/inkjet shot can help clear them out.

awareness also extends to meeting quota, which imo involves paying attention to the timer + where eggs are located. i find that it's nice to check in with the timer/quota at 50s and 30s respectively so that you can start forwarding eggs closer to basket. and when everyone's going crazy about quota not being met i try to make sure i'm not overstepping anyone else's egg pile so that no one goes "wait no thats the egg that i wanted to pick up fuck i have to go back and get a different one."

i think this is why sometimes playing in groups is easier. if you have more sets of eyes that you can communicate with, it alleviates the need to have awareness of "everything" (provided that you can comms effectively). someone can be attuned to different things (e.g. my friend always tells us where snatchers come from and if they're good, i'm personally attuned to where people need to be revived, etc.). you also know what specials you have access to, unlike in freelance where you're not sure what others have until they use them.

the other part of completing shifts successfully (to me) is being mechanically sound with your movement, mostly in regards to how you use the terrain (walls) to get around the map and escape situations. the more you play a map the more you'll figure out how you can move around on it.

some examples, using the location callouts from salmonrun.ink: there were a few times i'd go on the harbor but i could escape any salmonids in the bridge area by climbing the walls there and squidrolling out as needed. sometimes on high tide i would swim from the perch to the left plat.

sub-strafing is also good to know too, especially when you want to rapidly collect the basket eggs at the end. i still need to integrate it into other parts of my gameplay, but it's helpful!

uh. this was way longer than intended because i have WAY too many thoughts about salmon run. TL;DR: The key to succeeding your shifts is having good awareness which comes from good information collecting practices, and having the mechanical skill to act on that awareness without hesitation.

there's definitely a lot that goes on in sensory overload the game™, so it will take time to build these muscles and reaction times. i think while at every rank of salmon run you may face a wall of "i'm overwhelmed by the bosses," the exact fix needed to get past it usually varies, so it's important to figure out what information you were missing or what actions you could've taken (more efficient movement or special usage, usually).

or if you're struggling with quota, try to practice forwarding eggs or take a look where snatchers come from (even if people splat them, it's still a good practice 2 develop for later evp. source: i don't fucking do it and it's biting me in the ass)

and most importantly, recognize when you're in the midst of a loss streak/skill wall, so that you can take a break and focus on other things that energize you! even if there's a certain goal you want to meet, grinding for higher levels of EVP and getting better at the game can be a very exhausting process. you can always come back to the grind later, whether if it's after a 30 minute break, or just a different rotation!

[how-to-hate-humans]

Am I depressed because I quit smoking weed cold turkey a week ago or was the weed just masking the depression and now I can’t hide from it?? The answer to this and more tonight when I’m staring at the wall in bed contemplating if existence is worth it

[aster-aspera]

.

[strlvvr]

close to you - connor bedard

bella thought it was just a regular blackhawks game, but what happens when she leaves the game with the star player?

OR

connor thought it was a normal game day, but what happens when a pretty girl in the crowd catches his attention?

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word count: 1.3k

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“come on, we have to hurry! i need to get a good spot,” i yell at my friend as we’re running around united center.

jade was never big into hockey, but came along to games with me whenever i got tickets. she understood the game enough to watch, cheer, and listen to my rants about the games and players. she also knew there was a specific player i never shut up about.

“relax bella, we’ll get a good spot and he’ll love your sign.” jade called out over the crowds as we walked down the hall to the ice.

i found the perfect spot for warmups, knowing that was where he spent most of his time while on the ice. putting my stuff on the chair behind me, i grabbed my phone to look at the time. i still had ten minutes before the players came out.

i grabbed my sign to make sure it looked okay, for the hundredth time that night, “it looks good. hopefully they’re in a good mood tonight.”

“i know, i know. i’m just nervous.” i sighed, hoping my sign would catch his eye.

i opened my phone and scrolled through twitter, hoping it would clear my mind. it was my first warmup with a sign and i wanted it to go well.

when the timer on the jumbotron hit zero, i grabbed my phone and set up my sign. watching as all the players skated out, i felt my heart race when he stepped out.

immediately, he came over to my side of the ice. even though i knew it was going to happen, my hands were still shaking as i tried to steady my phone for the video i was attempting to record. 

he kept skating past and smiling at me.

as i was recording a video of another player, lukas reichal, he interrupted it by bumping the glass right in front of me. i was still calming down when he laughed at me for jumping.

after losing track of how many shots he tried making, he came over to me with a puck and a big smile. he pointed at me before throwing the puck over. failing once.. twice… three times it took him to get the puck over to me. 

“oh. my. GOD.” i screamed at my best friend after he skated away.

“you just got a puck from connor bedard!” she yelled back as i jumped, watching her end the video she was recording, “he’s coming back, calm down, calm down.”

he pointed at me again and started pointing at my phone.

“is he telling me to grab my phone?” i turn and ask jade.

after i grab my phone he starts putting up numbers on his hands. is this kid actually giving me a number? he’s gotta be kidding. right?

i put the numbers into my messages and turned my phone towards him, asking if i got it right. he nodded and skated away, shooting one more puck before going to the locker room.

“there’s no fucking way.” i told my friend as we walked to our seats.

“are you gonna text him..? cause if not, you know i will.” jade said with a smirk on her face.

“if i don't text him, please kill me cause that would be the worst mistake of my life.” i replied, in full seriousness.

i texted him immediately, letting him know it was me and i saved his number. i got a quick text back, letting me know he got the text and that he would text me after the game. i sent a quick “good luck” text and went back to the conversation around me.

“i don’t know how you’re acting so casually about this.” jade said as she grabbed her drink.

“because if i don’t, i will mess it up and i cannot fumble HIM of all guys.” i said quietly, making sure the people around me weren’t paying attention to what i was saying.

as the game starts, i turn towards the ice, watching intently. by the second period, connor was looking good, getting shots in, and playing good offense. 

we all watch as the players start lining up a goal, i watch at the edge of my seat as connor gets the puck. he starts getting closer to the net and he scores.

“he SO did that for you!” jade yells as the crowd erupts in cheers.

“stop it, he’s just playing, he wants to score no matter what,” i giggle, wondering if he really did do it for me.

the clock hit zero, with a win for the blackhawks. jade and i walked out of united center with a newfound happiness watching our team celebrate. i quickly got a text from connor asking if i was staying around after the game.

“we have to,” jade pushed me as we were walking to her car, “he’s basically saying he wants to see you.”

“okay, okay, fine. i’ll tell him we can stay,” i smile, opening our texts once again, getting ready to reply.

i asked him where he was going to be after the game as we reached jade’s car. we knew it was gonna be a while before he came out, with interviews and all that taking up most of his time after games.

finally, after almost an hour, connor texted me, telling me he was coming out. jade and i left the car, immediately missing the warmth as the cold air hit our faces, and walked towards the door he told us to meet him at.

we watched as all the other players started coming out, some of them waving and saying hi, a few of them asking if we were waiting for signatures. finally, i saw connor walking out.

“hey!” he called over to us with a smile.

“hi,” i said nervously while also trying to hide my shivering, “good game tonight!”

“thank you, i tried,” he laughed as we walked towards his car.

“sooo,” jade said, trying to break the awkwardness, “any plans tonight?

“i was invited to go out with the boys, but i’m probably just gonna go home, what about you guys?” connor replied, putting his stuff in his car and turning to us.

“well i mean, we were just gonna go home. unless maybe you wanted to hang out?” i said, immediately regretting it. this was connor bedard, the best player in the league right now. 

“i’m actually getting pretty tired, i think i might just go home. plus, it’s a bit of a drive.” jade said as she lightly nudged me.

“oh really? how far do you guys live?” connor asked, looking at me for the answer.

“not that far, about an hour or so,” i said, trying to ignore his gaze.

“are you hungry? i could use some food,” connor looked at me, again. i glanced up at him this time, seeing a look of hope in his eyes.

“yeah, i could eat.” i smiled at him.

“i’m probably gonna grab something quick on the drive home, but if you guys wanna go get food,” jade said, looking at me, seeing if i wanted her to leave me here or if i wanted to go with her.

“i can always drive you home,” connor said, trying to keep whatever body warmth he could grab close.

“that’s okay, you don’t have to.” i laughed, trying to see if he actually wanted to or not.

“i’d be happy too,” he smiled.

“well i’m leaving now, so last chance.” jade said looking at connor one more time, seeing if he was being serious or not.

“come on, it’s cold.” connor opened the passenger door of his car.

laughing at him, i turned to jade, “i’ll text you?”

“you better,” she winked and walked quickly to her car.

[str4ngergirlw0rld]

eddies never considered himself lucky, not with anything, not with girls not with guys not with his family not with anything.

not when his dad beat him and his mom to a pulp and walked out only to come back 2 years later with bloodshot eyes , red nostrils and a baby on his hip.

not when harley jones asked him on a date only to take his virginity in the back of his van and never talk to him again.

not when billy hargrove asked him to do his homework and he purposely wrote an essay on his behalf about how much he hated mrs. o’donell.

not when you showed up on his doorstep , asking him out on a date and he declined thinking he was some butt of a joke , making you walk home in the rain after walking an hour as a grand gesture for him in your cheer uniform carrying droopy flowers you had picked for him.

eddie wasn’t lucky not at all.

the clock on eddies side table reads 7:00 am in bright blaring numbers. eddies rubs his eyes to rid himself of sleepies and sits up , throwing on his favorite garfield boxers and an old ratted metallica shirt.

the knocking on his trailer grows rapid hence why hes up so early.

“i’m comin , i’m comin fuck hold on” he yells

throwing the door open eddies jaw drops , you’re the last person he expected at the door , if he knew it was you he would have made himself presentable.

you look so pretty , clad in your cheer uniform, rain droplets dripping off your eyelashes , knee high socks he can only assume are doing nothing to keep you warm. a pony tail holding your curled hair and flowers he can only assume you just picked from the side of the road , he can tell because he picks those for his mommas grave , purples amongst yellows amongst pinks and oranges, shining brightly in contrast to the gray sky.

“he-heyy what the fuck are you doing here?”

is the first thing that slips out of his mouth , your eyes blow wide.

“no no i didnt mean it like that i’m just shocked you’re here , did you walk here ? at 7 in the morning? in the rain?” he rambles “yeah i did , is that okay?” you ask , hesitance heavy in your voice “more than okay sweetheart, why are you here?” his voice filled with sweetness , making you hopeful of his answer to your question.

“i just wanted to know if you’d wanna go on a date with me , we can watch a movie , i know they’re showing some horror movies , i planned it out, i’ll pay for your ticket , i uh also thought we could get burgers and shakes at bennys , hes my uncle i’ll convince him to give the meal to us for free , he usually does he has a soft spot for me, i see you around alot , i think you’re handsome , i know my brother loves you and i know theres gotta be lots of reasons why” your head starts bopping , excitement laced in your voice. awaiting his answer.

eddies heart plummets to his feet , he wanted to believe this , to be hopeful that this wasn’t some cruel joke but he can’t not after holly. he cant help but roll his eyes.

you catch it , smile and arms dropping , your nails pressing into your hand where you’re holding the flowers you picked for him.

“why the fuck are you here y/n ?” the sweetness from his voice long gone , replaced with bitterness and venom “i-i just told you why eddie what do you mean” your voice trembles “no the real fucking reason , i don’t want you to stand there and lie to me what the fuck y/n i thought you were different but you’re just like them , you will not make a joke out of me , thats a dick move, go home. my answer is no , tell your friends that this didn’t work and maybe go prank someone else” he slams the door shut , palms opening and closing , sweating, he wants to look out, see the angry look on your face when you realize your plan didn’t work, instead hes faced with something much worse.

the flowers that once stood high we’re drooping in your hand , your back shaking hard with despair and a distraught look on your face as rock your head in a back and forth no motion tears dripping down your face , one hand pressed to your chest he can assume for comfort and the other holding waynes wrist where hes cupping your face lightly, cooing at you as you recount what just aspired to him, his heart burns with pain when he sees waynes eyes tearing up aswell. both of you soaked with rainwater.

he watches as you calm down , watches as wayne grabs a jacket from his car and covers your shaking frame with it , watches as wayne drops a kiss on your forehead and lets you walk away. watches as you walk further down the road disappearing from his sight. watches as wayne stomps to the door. but hes too afraid to go out and speak to you , too afraid to apologize because he already fucked up.

“what is wrong with you boy? i know i raised you , why you actin like ya father ? making a girl cry and having her walk home in the rain, you find out a way to apologize, i don’t care that ya think she pranked ya , she and her brother been coming here every morning asking for you , she built up the courage to ask you out and you turn her down so easily, fix this, don’t make me tell you again.” wayne tells eddie , wiping the tears on his face “fix this”

eddie doesn’t waste a second throwing his shoes on and grabbing two jackets. he’ll do whatever it takes.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Declaration of Independence || LS2

Pairing: ex!Lando Norris x Piastri!Reader, Logan Sargeant x Piastri!Reader, Lando Norris x Carlos Sainz Jr Summary: When you find your boyfriend in the arms of his ex-team mate you realise all the rumours were true. With nothing keeping you in Monaco you head to your twin brother’s place in London before planning to return home to Australia. Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, sexual themes, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol WC: 8k

The phone rang for so long you thought it was going to go to voicemail but your younger brother must have caught it on the last ring. He could hardly talk as he panted from whatever exercise his personal trainer was putting him through and you stiffened your trembling lip, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“Jacky?”

You could almost see his forehead crumpling in confusion as the seconds ticked by before he answered. “What's wrong?”

“Shit,” you whispered as his protective tone triggered fresh tears and you heard him excuse himself from the gym citing ‘something’s wrong with my sister’. If only he knew how true that was. “I, um, need a favour.”

“Of course, whatever you need,” he answered instantly as a door banged shut at his end of the line. 

Overhead you heard the last call for the flight out of Nice you had bought a last minute ticket for and you shoved your phone between your ear and shoulder so you could fish your passport and boarding pass from your handbag. “Can I crash on your couch for a few days? Just until I can organise a flight home?”

“Home…what do you mean home?” Oscar asked, a moment before the request for a facetime popped up. His red and sweaty face filled your screen and you were sure yours looked similar from all the crying you had done on the drive from Monaco. “Are you at the airport? Where’s Lando?”

You shook your head as you tried to think of the words but they failed to emerge as you walked through the bridge to the plane that was waiting for you. “I…can I stay? Please.”

Worry filled his face but he nodded. Of course you could stay with him, you never had to ask, you were family. “I have a meeting with Zac soon but send me your flight number and I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can get a taxi.”

“No way. If it wasn’t Zac I promise I would be there, sis.”

“I know,” you sniffled, seeing you were at the plane door. “I’ve gotta go but thank you.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Oscar said softly, pity in his eyes. “Love you.”

“You too, Jacky.”

At first glance you thought maybe Oscar had forgotten to organise a ride for you. Dozens of suited chauffeurs held little signs up with names but none of them were yours and you started to make your way in the other direction only to find a familiar face.

“Hey,” Logan greeted with a smile, tugging the cord of your hoodie you were hiding under. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to pick up a suit and a whiteboard.”

You stepped into his open arms with a small chuckle that lacked its usual energy. “I suppose I can forgive you. I’m sorry you were roped into this. Isn’t this way below your pay grade?”

“Wait, I could get paid for this?”

You stepped back with a laugh and patted your pockets. “I only have a couple of euros on me, so you are out of luck there.”

He started to laugh before looking around you and saw you had no luggage with you. “I thought you were coming to stay with Oscar?”

“I, um, left in a hurry,” you said as your chest tightened again and you looked at the floor. The thought of returning to the bedroom and packing a bag had your stomach turning. “I’ll get some clothes later today.”

You could still see them, their bodies writhing between the sheets you had slept in only hours earlier. You had been hurt, finding Lando in the arms of another, but the real shock had been when he pulled away at your gasp and you saw Carlos’ dark head of hair on your pillow. The man you had welcomed as a friend into your home, the man you had been on double dates with countless times, was fucking your boyfriend - or being fucked by - you couldn’t quite tell from where you stood frozen in the doorway.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Logan said quietly, tucking you into his side as he saw your waterline begin to fill in the silence. The tears slowly leaked down your cheeks as he guided you out of the terminal and to his car, belting you in when you couldn’t move for fear you would fall apart. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t,” you admitted as you shook your head and pulled your hoodie back now that you were behind tinted glass. You had learned quickly just how many people followed and photographed F1 drivers and didn’t want to find yourself on the gossip pages again just yet, or ever.

He sighed but gave you a nod before turning the engine on. “Well, when you are ready, I’m here.”

“No, Lo, I can’t tell anyone, ever. I signed an NDA.”

“Seriously?” He put the car back in neutral and pulled the handbrake as he swivelled in his chair to face you as you confirmed it with a short nod. “What the fuck. Does Oscar know?”

“Not yet. It’s…complicated.”

Logan bit his lip as he fought the urge to ask more questions but he had known you long enough to know you wouldn’t be pressed on a matter. You were blunt that way, just like your brother - so he pushed the matter from his mind and started the journey to the city where Oscar shared an apartment with Lily. 

“If it gets cramped, you can always hang out at my place. I won’t be there much in the day and I know Lily is studying for her exams at the moment. Oscar’s been whining that he hardly sees her face; it's always buried in a textbook.”

“It’s only for a few days, until I can find a flight home,” you said with a shrug. You didn’t exactly want to return to Australia but there weren’t any other immediate plans that came to mind. Oscar worked with Lando, so hanging out with him in the garage like you used to gave you as much excitement as getting your fingernails ripped off.

Logan’s lips turned down at the news as he pulled up to the modern apartment block Oscar had moved into when he settled in the city. “Have my address, just in case - or you can call and I’ll pick you up.”

You grabbed your phone from your handbag and sighed when you found the battery dead. “Shit.”

A click had you look up as Logan grabbed your hand and you wriggled at the ticklish feel of his pen inking your skin. “Problem solved,” he smiled as he clicked the pen shut.

“Old school,” you teased as you twisted your hand to read the address in a suburb not too far from Oscar’s. “Thank you, Lo.”

His eyes softened as you leaned across the console and kissed his cheek before getting out of the car. “Anytime. Seriously, I’m here if you need anything.”

“I know.” You walked around to his window that he had wound down and rested your hands on the trim. “I’m glad Jacky has a friend like you.”

“I didn’t do this for him. Technically you were my friend first.”

You smiled at the memory, how Oscar had called you a traitor for hanging out with his ‘enemy’ back in F3 only for the two to end up becoming close friends after their fight for the championship. “Friends huh? I hope you didn’t kiss him too,” you joked before the image resurfaced of Lando and Carlos kissing in your bed and you pushed away from the car, missing the way his eyes lingered on your lips. “Uh, I should go. Thanks again, Logan.”

You berated yourself the entire way to the one bedroom apartment on the top floor. It was a silly joke. You shouldn’t have even brought up the kiss, it wasn’t something you had really thought about in the last two years - when you were happy with Lando. It had just been a summer thing that happened after he moved to F2 but nothing had come of it.

If you were honest with yourself you would admit you ran away. You had caught feelings for Oscar’s friend and ran the moment you realised it. Incidentally, it led you straight to Lando. And look how that turned out.

“Hey, you’re here! Sorry, I just need to run to the library but make yourself at home!” Lily greeted in a rush as she opened the door, tangling her arms in her coat as she tried to hug you at the same time. “Oscar shouldn’t be too far away. He’s picking up Thai for dinner too, so text him what you want. See you soon.”

Your goodbye drifted down the stairs with Lily and you closed the door to see the kitchen table was strewn with textbooks and it overflowed into the living room. You could hardly see the coffee table under the stack of books for her Masters but you moved some that were on the couch aside and settled in with a sigh.

Lando rushed off the bed, pulling the sheet loosely around his body but it bared Carlos completely and you stepped back at the fast approach. You couldn’t stop staring, a thousand questions running through your mind but there was only one that seemed to be repeating. 

“Why?” You should have known at that point how little the physical relationship had meant to you because it wasn’t the fact he had cheated on you that hurt the most. It was the fact he never told you the truth - you were meant to be friends first and foremost - he could have come out to you and you would have accepted him as he was.  “Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?”

Lando’s hands entwined with the sheets, nervously twisting in the material as he hung his head. “No one is allowed to know.”

Your eyes darted to Carlos as he pulled his boxers up and stepped up to Lando’s side, a large hand low on his back, supportingly. “No one can know. Do you understand?”

“No, I don’t understand. I don’t understand what the fuck is happening!” Your breaths came too quick, the room starting to sway until Lando caught you and guided you out of the room to the couch. His voice murmured apologies quietly with each step but it felt like you were listening from beneath the surface of turbulent waters.

“-both our careers.”

You blinked twice as the sound began to clear and you focused on Lando’s lips still swollen from Carlos’ kisses. “If anyone finds out then they will void our contracts.”

“So you were just using me? And Isabella?”

Carlos looked away at the mention of his ex-girlfriend and you wondered if she had been through this very same situation, or if she were blissfully unaware after their breakup. Had she been sat in front of the two of them, Carlos sitting closer and Lando the one on the other single seater couch observing quietly.

“No, fuck, no, it wasn’t like that,” Lando assured as he squeezed your hand. “I love you.”

You saw the hesitancy in his eyes that were frightened and sad, and everything else all at once. “But…you love him too.” You could do the maths and remembered the rumours that had been swirling since he joined McLaren. He had loved Carlos before he ever even met you. “I wish you told me, before I loved you too. I’m, uh, I’m just going to go now.”

“Wait, you can’t go,” Lando panicked as he gripped your hand tighter. “No one can find out.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Lan, it’s not my place, but you could have trusted me. I would have been happy for you,” you whispered as you wiped your eyes, “but now I’m just hurt and embarrassed.”

You started to pull away from Lando’s hands but he sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. Carlos shifted forward, ready to reach for Lando before your hard eyes cut to him and he froze. “I’m sorry,” Lando murmured reluctantly. “I know you wouldn’t say anything, and I know I’m an asshole to ask, but…”

You swallowed as you waited for the next punch to come but Lando shook his head as if it physically hurt to speak. 

“We need you to sign some papers,” Carlos finished for him. “A non-disclosure agreement.”

A bitter laugh choked from your lungs. “You guys really had this all planned out didn’t you. And if I say no?” True panic widened Lando’s eyes and his chest filled with a shaky intake of air, making you feel guilty for even asking. With a resigned sigh you dropped your head in your hands and muttered, “I’ll sign whatever you need, then I’m gone.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“What do you want from me, Lan?” you asked, tugging your hair in exasperation. “What do you want me to do? Join your harem? Be your housekeeper? What!”

“I…I just don’t want to be alone again,” he whispered, a look of longing cast back to Carlos who flinched. 

You stood up, watching him shrink back as you rose over him. “I’m not going to be your bed warmer because the person you actually want isn’t available full time. Now hurry up and get me the papers to sign while I pack.” You started to make your way to the bedroom before changing your mind and going to the home office where the computer and printer was along with Lando’s sim racer. “Actually, I’ll just start completely afresh, you can donate everything. Or bin it, I don’t really care.”

Lies. Lies. Lies. You did care. You were just too stubborn to let it show.

Dropping into the office chair, you opened your phone while you waited for the NDA knowing it wouldn’t be long since they were already prepared - like they had run through the scenario before. Tiktok seemed like a good way to waste some time until the second video was a CarLando edit and you nearly broke the screen as you slammed the phone down on the desk. 

“You ok?” Lando asked as he popped his head in the room at the bang.

Spinning away from his sad blue eyes you dropped your head on the desk with a thud. “Don’t ever ask me that stupid question again.” He started to leave the room but he stopped at the choked sound that came from your throat. “You know, I would have been an ally - if you had just told me.”

“An ally?” he echoed as Carlos joined him in the doorway. 

“But now…”

“You are an enemy?” Carlos asked, his tongue running across his teeth until Lando elbowed him. 

“No, not an enemy, don’t put words in my mouth. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you like losing your jobs, I just can’t be happy for you either - not at my own expense.”

A bounce jolted you awake and your hand lashed out, slapping your brother’s arm where he had flopped down on the couch beside you. “Asshat.”

Oscar grinned but it faded quickly as he turned serious and took in your appearance - just what you needed with an already damaged self-esteem. “You okay?”

“Been better.”

“Want to send him a bag of dicks?”

“He’d probably like that,” you said with a snort before shaking your head. “No, I honestly just need something to take my mind off him.”

Oscar smiled sadly. “I would offer to go out tonight but Kim would probably kill me if I missed training in the morning, or god forbid the flight. How about we go and get absolutely trashed on Sunday after the race? You are still coming, right?”

You had debated avoiding the race entirely but when Oscar did the worst pair of sad puppy eyes you held your hand out and shook on it. “Deal. Now what’s for dinner?”

“I got a bit of everything since you didn’t text me what you wanted.”

“Phone’s dead, can I use your charger?”

“Yeah, it’s next to the bed,” he said as he jutted his head to the bedroom before pulling himself up with a groan and complaining about his ageing body.

“Shut up, I’m older than you are.”

“You were only born eight minutes before me,” Oscar complained as he led the way to the breakfast bar - the only space large enough to seat three people for dinner.

“As someone whose races come down to one thousandth of a second I think you of all people would understand eight minutes is quite substantial.”

“She’s got a point,” Lily said with a giggle as she set the plates. 

“No she doesn’t, whose side are you on?”

“Oh, Jacky-boy, it was the first race of your life and I won. Lah-hoo-zah-her.”

Something warm and wet hit your face and you narrowed your eyes at Oscar as he picked up another string of pad thai. “Say that again?”

Lily sighed as your lips parted and you matched his smirk, knowing it was going to cause carnage but at least it was familiar territory and a good distraction. “Loser.”

Lily and Oscar had gone to bed hours ago but you couldn’t sleep. The sound of the city was louder than what you were used to and the couch wasn’t as comfortable when you weren’t completely exhausted. 

Tossing the blanket back, you went to the bathroom and grimaced at your reflection. Dark circles hung under your puffy eyes and you were grateful that you had done some shopping after dinner. After making yourself a little more decent with a layer of makeup and some warm clothes you decided to take a walk to clear your head.

The streets only grew busier the further you walked from the nice neighbourhood and you found yourself in front of a pub that was overflowing with people despite it being so early in the week. You really shouldn’t have listened to the little voice in your head but you couldn’t argue that it had been one hell of a day so you agreed to treat yourself and stepped inside. 

Logan woke to a loud knock at his door and rubbed his eyes until the blurry clock beside his bed came into focus. Stumbling from the bed with his phone in hand, he padded his way downstairs and wondered who could be showing up at 2am until he saw you swaying in the peephole. Ripping the door open he didn’t realise you were using it to balance and caught you as you fell into him.

“Hey handsome,” you slurred with a grin as you checked out his shirtless body, feeling the hard muscles across his torso, before turning to wave back to the cabbie parked on his driveway. “Told you he was real!”

“Go inside, sweetheart, I’ll be back in a minute.” Logan settled you back on your feet and kissed your forehead before stepping out of his townhouse, sauntering his way to the black cab who still had his window down waiting. 

“Are you her brother?”

“No, Oscar’s a friend, so is she,” Logan assured the driver as he held out his iPhone to pay the fare. “Where did you pick her up from?”

“The Lion’s Head. She kept asking me to take her to her brother’s flat but had no phone or address. Found this one written on her hand though, lucky for her.”

“Yeah, lucky,” he sighed before patting the door panel and stepping. “Thanks for getting her here safely, you have a good night.”

By the time Logan had locked the door again you were passed out on his couch, your head hanging at an odd angle that couldn’t be comfortable. Scooping you up into his arms, he carried you up to his room, muttering under his breath as he walked, “What the fuck did you do, Lando?”

You woke up in a peaceful haze with a warm arm curled around your waist and soft snores on your neck. You didn’t open your eyes, not wanting to take away from this moment as your mind found itself back in your body and not in the nightmare you had been trapped in. 

“I had the worst dream, baby,” you whispered as you snuggled into the warmth of his chest against your back and felt him wake with a yawn.

“Y/N?”

You froze at the voice in your ear, your eyes being blinded by the morning light as they flew open. “Logan,” you squeaked as you shot upright and twisted to see him on his pillow, the sunlight making him look like a golden greek god. “What the..?”

Your eyes drifted down his bare chest before you caught yourself and fixed them on his blue eyes instead, the shade thankfully far brighter than the pair that had haunted your dreams. “Um, Logan, you’re naked…” you lifted the sheet you had wrapped yourself in and exhaled in relief, “and I am not. Okay. That’s good, I guess.”

“I’m not naked,” Logan clarified as he held his hands up. “You showed up last night really wasted and crashed on my couch.”

You looked around the light modern room with a quirked eyebrow. “This isn’t the couch.”

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious,” he said as he dropped his hands and laced his fingers over his abs and fiddled nervously, drawing your attention back to them before you could stop yourself. “You didn’t look comfortable so I carried you to bed but you woke up crying and…”

Your chest tightened as he trailed off and looked out the window to his small backyard. “And what, Logan?”

“You said you didn’t want to be alone, so I stayed alright? Nothing happened, okay, I just…I couldn’t leave you like that.” He bit his lip as he turned to see your reaction, wondering if he had overstepped without meaning to, but you were already launching yourself across the bed and into his chest. 

“Thank you, Lo,” you whispered against his skin as you buried your head in his neck while his arms found their way around you. 

“Don’t thank me just yet,” he mumbled. “I had to call Osc to let him know where you were.”

“Ugh,” you huffed as you pulled away from him and looked for your phone before remembering it was still charging in Oscar’s bedroom. Your eyes landed on the bedside drawers and found your cash, rings, watch and half a dozen pretzels but it was the clock that blinked angrily at you. “Shit, I’m going to miss the plane!” You scrambled to get out of bed.

“Relax. It’s all sorted,” Logan said with a laugh as he helped untangle your legs from the sheets. “You’re flying with me this afternoon.”

You froze as you found your bodies close and you felt the ghost of his touch where he had held you tenderly and let you fall asleep in his arms. “Logan…”

“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered as he closed his eyes and shook his head, but he didn’t move away. 

“Like what?”

“Like you used to.”

‘Fuck, okay I deserved that,’ you thought as he pulled away and walked into his wardrobe. He stepped out a moment later in a pair of grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips, but his chest remained bare like he was purposefully trying to taunt you with the sight. Flopping back into the pillows, you pulled his one over your face and silently screamed as you assaulted your younger self for the decisions you had made. 

“Want waffles?” 

You refrained from smothering yourself completely and peeked over the top of the pillow that was saturated in his scent. “Store bought or homemade?”

The incredulous look he gave you had you tossing the pillow aside and rising from the bed. You didn’t know how he did it but Logan made the best waffles and despite being a good cook yourself, you could never replicate it. 

Strolling down the hall with him, you looked across and waved a hand over his body. “So do you own a shirt in this mansion?”

He smirked and shook his head. “Nope, not a single one.”

“If you take me shopping after breakfast I promise to buy you one.”

He pulled a stool out at the kitchen island and pointed you towards it while he went to the pantry and gathered the ingredients. “Didn’t you just go shopping yesterday?”

“That was so yesterday, Lolo,” you drawled as his lips curled up and his chest bounced with a laugh. “I only got some warm clothes because London can’t seem to make up its mind whether it's in a heat wave or a storm. I can’t wear this in Singapore.”

“You’ll absolutely cook,” he agreed. “The humidity is meant to be insane.”

“It is. We usually stopover there on the way home.”

You watched Logan mix all the ingredients and heat up the waffle iron before he put the first batch in and leant against the counter opposite you, resting his elbows on the bench and chin on his hands. “Where are you going to hang out in Singapore?”

You knew he didn’t mean the tourist attractions and shrugged, really not wanting to think about that just yet. “Jacky wants me there so I’m going, but beyond that I don’t know. Lando’s taking care of the ‘announcement’ but I don’t know when that will be posted.”

“I didn’t realise he was such an asshole.”

You opened your mouth but you weren’t sure if you were going to condemn him or defend him so you closed it again.

You had spent hours combing over your relationship with Lando when you couldn’t sleep and realised you weren’t actually as angry about the breakup as you felt you should have been. Maybe that was a sign it was never really that serious, or that the attraction to Lando was simple in that he was good looking and you had built a strong friendship with him. Maybe that was all there was and you misread it all. 

He had still used you, and that hurt like hell. That was real.

“You’re always welcome at my garage, no orange though.”

Your lips twitched as you shook your head in amusement. “Papaya, but thanks, I might take you up on that - if you can save my waffle from burning.”

“Shit!” Logan nearly burnt himself rushing to get the waffle out but with a hefty drenching in maple syrup you could hardly taste the extra crispy parts.

y/npiastri

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y/npiastri: @/oscarpiastri when can you get one of these?

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SINGAPORE

Your phone started to vibrate with notifications as soon as you turned it on after touching down at Changi Airport and you could feel a headache beginning to grow until it felt the size of a certain British race driver. One that wasn’t Lewis or George.

Though you were expecting to see him after reading through the litany of text messages you had missed, it was still a shock to find Lando in the airport terminal.

“Hey man, thanks for giving her a lift,” Lando said with a stiff nod to Logan as he draped an arm over your shoulder and whispered, “I didn’t want to do this, I’m sorry.”

All around, you could see fans taking photos and found Lando’s forced smile waiting for you to respond. Your eyes darted to Logan but he wasn’t helping matters with the glare he was sending Lando so you gritted your teeth and wrapped your free arm around Lando’s waist. 

“I’m not doing this again in Japan,” you whispered back as you waved to a few of the fans. “I don’t care what your PR team says. I’m done.”

You didn’t know where Lando slept, and didn’t care enough to ask as you closed the hotel door in his face. It was one thing to pretend to still be in a relationship in public but it didn’t extend beyond that. He was already asking too much of you.

The peace and quiet didn’t last very long before a persistent knock drummed on your door. “I know you’re in there,” Oscar called out. “Open up before I tell everyone about Bobo-”

You were not amused as you unlocked the door and found the hall empty except for him and the bag of food he held. “Keep my teddy’s name out of your mouth,” you growled as you swiped the bag from him. “Lau Pa Sat?”

“Of course,” he shrugged nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t travelled across the city to go to your favourite hawker stand.

“Thank you. I guess you can come in.”

He chuckled as you made space in the doorway and closed the door behind him. His laugh soon died and he quirked an eyebrow as he passed the trash can and saw the McLaren merch that you had found in the wardrobe. “I’ll try not to be too offended.”

“You’ll get over it.” You took a seat on the couch and opened the containers, spreading the range of dishes across the coffee table as the mouthwatering scent filled the room. “Want some?”

“Race diet,” he reminded you with a shake of his head and a longing look at the food.

“Good, I don’t share well.”

“At least you can have the leftovers for breakfast tomorrow.”

You already had a mouthful of chicken rice and nearly choked on it before swallowing. “Leftovers? Yeah, right. I’m not on a race diet, this isn’t lasting the night.”

Dropping into the seat beside you, Oscar grabbed the tv remote and went straight to the movie channels. After finally deciding on the new Spiderman he settled into the cushions, ignoring the knock on the door, muttering, “Don’t answer him.”

From Logan: open up, I can smell food.

“It’s not Lando,” you said as you tossed the phone to Oscar who went and opened the door before taking his seat again.

“Expecting anyone else?” Logan asked as he saw all the food spread out.

“She’s eating her feelings,” Oscar stated, ducking on reflex as he expected to get a punch on the arm. There was a satisfied smirk on your face when his face disappeared under a well aimed pillow and you blew a kiss to Logan as a thank you.

“Do you want some?” you offered the American a dumpling with your chopsticks.

He leaned closer and looked at the tasty morsel inquisitively. “What’s in it?”

“Don’t ask, mate.” Oscar tucked the pillow behind his head and turned the volume up. “How’d you know I was here?”

“I didn’t come to see you,” Logan said as he dropped a package on your lap before he took a bite of the dumpling, the liquid inside exploding in a mess down your top. “Fuck, sorry.” He reached for the napkins on the table but his shaking hand knocked your drink over and Oscar sat back watching the chaos with a nostalgic feeling as Logan swore again. “Fuck.”

It reminded Oscar of being Logan’s teammate at Prema, back when things were simpler and the three of you would always hang out. Logan was always clumsy around you and it looked like it was something he would never grow out of.

“Is this your present?” you asked as you finally stopped laughing at Logan and picked up the package. “Why aren’t you wearing it? It was a gift.”

Oscar’s interest was piqued and he swiped it from your hands. You had promised to buy Logan a shirt, you didn’t say it was going to be a fashionable one. Opening the bag, Oscar pulled the green shirt out and held it up to read the front before turning it around, cackling loudly.

Got a problem with me? Talk to Mike Krack.

“I am not wearing that,” Logan laughed as Oscar balled it up and tossed it at his head.

“If you won’t, I will,” you dared as you went to reach for it.

“No way,” Logan teased, pulling it out of your reach as you tried to clamber over him to get it. “It's my gift and I’m keeping it.”

“Careful not to hurt him again, sis,” Oscar warned jokingly.

Logan winced at the reminder of the one time your leg had slipped in a similar situation and your knee had met a certain body part he was quite attached to.

“That was an accident!” you huffed as you sat back in your seat and grabbed a dish of Singapore noodles. “Don’t you have a girlfriend to call before her exam?”

Oscar checked his phone and saw the time and jumped up from the couch. “Shit! See you two in the morning.”

“Wish her luck from me, not that she needs it,” you called out as the door closed in his wake. It hadn’t even clicked shut and you had tossed the remote onto Logan’s lap. “Right, find a decent movie and not a bloody cartoon.”

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” 

Logan laughed as you narrowed your eyes at him before continuing scrolling down the title list. “Fine, what about the new Jennifer Lawrence one?”

With a full stomach, you put the lids back on the containers and made yourself comfortable on the couch, laying your head on Logan’s lap and using his thigh as a pillow. Just like old times, you smiled as his palm started to brush over your hair softly.

You hadn’t read the synopsis when you agreed to the choice and you started to regret it. The entire plot was centred around a woman who was afraid of catching feelings and so she ran at the first sight of them. You grew uncomfortable as the movie played and neither of you laughed much - you were too busy wishing you didn’t see the similarities of when you did the same to Logan. And Logan, well he had a frown etched deep into his forehead.

“You’re thinking so loud that I’m getting a headache,” you said as you rolled onto your back and looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Just thinking about the race. All the races, and crashes. I keep fucking up.” 

You waited for him to continue but he was staring at the tv without really seeing what was there so you paused it. “Mistakes happen. James seems like a good principle - he should have told you this.”

“He is, but I want to be better. I push harder to prove I can but then I crash out, but if I hold back then I come last. I just don’t know how to find the balance. I feel like a failure.” He looked away, ashamed.

You sat up and cradled his cheek in your hand, guiding his face back so you could see his eyes. “You’re not a failure, Lo. You’re a rookie, it’s about learning and getting experience.”

“Oscar’s a rookie too.”

“Yeah, but he had a year of testing to get used to the car. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” You decided at that moment that you were going to take up his offer. “And to make sure you remember it, I’ll be in your garage tomorrow. I might even bring a picket sign so you can see me from the track.”

“You would too,” he chuckled before sighing and releasing the tension in his shoulders. “It's completely selfish of me, but I missed hanging out like this.”

“Me too, Lo.”

“Are you sure you want to go home?”

“No,” you scoffed. “But what else can I do? I only left so Jacky wasn’t on his own but he has Lily now. I have no place to live and everything I owned is probably already in the Monaco landfill.”

“You could stay with me,” he offered before quickly adding, “I have a guest room.”

You couldn’t quite ignore the feeling of disappointment that set in your gut at the thought of being his roommate. “You’re too nice but you’ll want your privacy, it would be awkward if you brought a girlfriend home.” That thought unsettled you even more.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” he said a little sadly. “I have about the same success with dating as I do scoring points.”

“It’s only a matter of time,” you stated confidently. “I believe in you.”

You were hardly spotted with Lando all weekend but that wasn’t abnormal since his team kept him busy with meet and greets. Unfortunately, arriving with Logan at the airport and then at the paddock each day had caused a few whispers to spread. Rumours of the breakup were popping up on the Wag blogs and the term homie hopper was being thrown around too.

Girl has gone and signed the Declaration of Independence. Y/N belongs to America now. The tweet made you giggle a little bit as you sat in Logan’s garage eating a slice of the cake you had baked the crew. You had kept them supplied with fresh baking all weekend after finding out Logan’s hotel suite had a fully stocked kitchen and they had quickly welcomed you after that.

The busy garage fell silent, the wheel guns shutting off as the mechanics put them down to watch the pair of McLaren men walking in from the pit lane. One smiled at the Williams shirt you wore, the other looked at Logan with a new interest.

“Kim thought he smelt your baking,” Oscar said as he spotted the cake before giving you a hug. “I get not being in papaya but this is just traitorous.”

“I don’t know, I quite like it. I was even propositioned - head baker sounds good to me. Especially since I need a new job.”

Lando’s smile dropped. “Wait, what?”

You could see the people around pretending to be busy but they collectively leaned closer. They were not ignorant to the rumours in the paddock.

“Quadrant doesn’t need me. I know I was only on the payroll because of you,” you said quietly. “I emailed Max my resignation when I got to Nice, I thought he would have told you.”

“Well I’m CEO and, as CEO, I’m not accepting it.”

“Don’t be a dick, mate,” Oscar interjected, placing a hand on Lando’s chest and giving him a little push back away from you.

“I didn’t sign away my basic fucking rights so if you want to piss away your money paying me for nothing then fine.”

A warm body pressed up beside you and you didn’t have to look to know it was Logan, before his accent confirmed it. “I think you should go back to your garage, now.”

Oscar sent Logan a grateful nod and headed towards the floodlights with a firm hand on Lando’s shoulder.

“Drive safe,” you called out, both of their heads turning back at your voice but you were only looking at one of them.

“Of course,” Oscar nodded seriously. “Don’t forget, we’re going out tonight.”

“How could I forget? Free booze - It’s the only reason I came.” You hooked your arm into Logan’s and peeked up at his stoic features, his eyes still staring daggers at Lando. “You’re coming too, right?”

“Sure,” he replied with a smirk. “Someone’s got to make sure you get tucked into bed…again.”

You choked on a laugh as his words had the desired effect and Oscar shook his head as his teammate swept from the room. “If that wasn't about my sister I would hi-five you,” he said with a smile in his tone. “Good luck out there.”

“You too.”

“That was naughty,” you teased as work resided in the garage.

The mechanics were busy preparing the car for the race when your phone vibrated in your pocket and Logan’s attention was taken by his engineer. Ducking away from the distracting noise, you answered the call and pressed a finger into your ear so you could hear.

“It’s, uh, me, Lando.”

“I know, I do have your number.”

“Oh, I thought you might have deleted it,” he cleared his throat and from the quiet at his end you knew he was hidden in his driver room. “I just wanted to let you know I’m posting the announcement before the race. And…I hope Logan makes you happy. Truly.”

“It’s not what you think, despite what he said before. He doesn’t even think of me that way.”

“I’m not sure who you’re trying to convince,” Lando said before sighing. “I know sorry doesn’t begin to cover it but for what it’s worth, I really am sorry. Anyway, I should go.”

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat at the genuine apology, but you weren’t ready to say what he was wanting to hear, you weren’t ready to forgive him. “Drive safe, Lando.”

His exhale of relief drifted through the phone. “Thank you.”

landonorris

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“Woah, slow down, sweetheart.” The glass was taken from your hand and Logan took a drink of it himself as he settled into the booth beside you. “That’s strong.”

“Fastest way to get drunk, and that’s exactly what I am aiming for.”

“Just let her get it out of her system,” Oscar suggested after breaking away from a conversation with Felipe, the Aston Martin reserve driver he had befriended. “Trust me, she’ll get trashed, blow off some steam and be over him tomorrow.”

“I am over him,” you stated as you took your drink back and jutted your chin to the tv screens replaying the podium celebration hours ago. “I just can’t seem to get away from them.”

Logan frowned as he followed your gaze and saw Carlos and Lando spraying each other with champagne before hugging tightly. “Them?”

Your eyes widened as you realised what you said and you shuffled closer to him. With a quick scan over the others, you found they weren’t paying any attention so you cupped your hand around Logan’s ear for some privacy. “Please forget I said that and never repeat it, please, you have to promise me.”

He chewed his bottom lip in contemplation before tipping his head down to yours and you felt his warmth breath across your cheek. “The NDA was about this, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want you getting into trouble, and I don’t give a shit what those two do in their own time - he’s still an asshole for cheating on you. You deserve better than that.”

You looked down at your glass, tracing your finger around the salted rim. “You don’t think it’s my fault?”

“What?” he laughed before realising you were serious. “How would it be your fault?”

“I, I don’t know…” you lied.

“You think you turned him gay.” Logan was more astute than anyone gave him credit for, or maybe he just knew you too well. Grabbing your chin, he guided your face back so he could meet your eyes. “Sweetheart, you know that’s not how it works.”

“I know,” you whispered. “He was only with me because he was lonely. And I think I was the same. Oscar had just moved in with Lily and I was alone for the first time in my life. I just keep wondering what would have happened if I answered your call that night.”

His hand dropped from where it had slowly shifted to cradle your cheek. “Why didn’t you?”

You screwed your eyes shut as you remembered the summer that had changed your future completely. You had tried to resist the growing feelings for Logan but after a week spent on his uncle’s superyacht you realised you were deep in it. It had frightened you - the fear of losing him as a friend - if it turned out to be a mistake. It wasn’t just your friendship at risk either, there was the one of Oscar and Logan to think about too.

It had been overwhelming, so when the holiday came to an end you went incommunicado.

That was also the summer where Oscar had quietly been in talks with McLaren and at one of those meetings you had accompanied him to, you met Lando. Friendly, handsome, and no attachment to Oscar at that point, he was the escape you needed.

“Because I realised I loved you and it scared me. It still does, but I’m done running.”

You didn’t know who moved first and the consequences of the actions were far from your mind as your lips met. The club could have been on fire but you wouldn’t have recognised the sound of the alarms as your racing heartbeat echoed in your head and your hands fisted his shirt to pull him closer. You moaned when you felt him deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips as his hand traced down your spine.

His kiss were exactly like you remembered them, pillow soft lips that yearned with a hunger you could match. And you did.

“Dude!” Oscar interrupted as he threw a coin at you. “I’m right here!”

You tossed the coin right back at him. “Look away then, little brother. You’re the one who said to blow off some steam.”

“Ugh, not what I meant,” he said as he finished his beer. “I’m calling it a night. You two…have fun or whatever.”

“Wait, you’re not mad?” you asked as he grabbed his jacket, Felipe deciding to join him instead of becoming a third wheel.

“I’m not your keeper, you’re an adult. God knows you two have been googly-eyed over each other since you met.”

“Was not googly-eyed!”

“Whatever you say.” Oscar laughed at you as he rose from the table and ruffled your hair before clapping Logan on the shoulder. “Take care of her, please.”

“Of course, always planned to.”

Oscar nodded with a final wave. “I know.”

—

The need to get drunk was replaced with another need entirely and it didn’t take long before Logan closed the tab and paid the bill before hailing a taxi. His hand had not left your body for one moment, either resting on the small of your back or holding your hand - like he was afraid if he let you go you would disappear again.

When you woke in the morning, those hands still held you close, his legs tangled between yours, his skin warm against yours. For a moment you found the home you had been searching for since you left Australia as a teenager wanting to carve out a piece of the world as her own. For a moment you were in heaven.

You didn’t know how quickly that feeling would disappear. You didn’t know that photos of you and Logan’s kiss were already going viral.

Whore, slut, gold digger.

“Ignore them, sweetheart,” Logan said as he took your phone and turned it off for the flight to Japan. “You and I know the truth, that’s all that matters.”

It was hard to imagine having the strength to ignore the accusations, especially when you couldn’t defend yourself without exposing Lando. He must have known that too as for a second time in a week you found yourself in an airport terminal and facing your ex.

“Hey.” You didn’t know what to do when he opened his arms for a hug but after a moment you stepped into his embrace. “Logan called.”

You turned to Logan, a look of confusion clear on your face as you waited for an explanation. “It’s his fans bullying you, and if he really wants you to be happy like he said then the least he can do is show them there’s no problem,” he said with a shrug.

“He’s right,” Lando said as he nudged you gently. “I wasn’t lying when I said I hope we could still be friends. If you’re not ready for that then I’ll respect it but I’m still here if you need and I won’t stop apologising.”

Your night with Logan had washed away at the residual hurt that had been left by Lando and you softened at his words. Wrapping your arms around his waist you took a deep breath and released it just as heavily. “I forgive you, Lan. And he does make me happy, he always has.”

He smiled knowingly as you stepped back and under Logan’s arm. “Good. I’m glad.”

You smiled up at Logan before turning it to Lando, feeling lighter than you had all week - maybe all your life. There was no sarcasm or edge when you told him wholeheartedly, “I hope you get your happiness too.”

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my September 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Godless, Graceless, and Young by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (110k)

Seattle, Washington, 1991

It takes a special breed to have a slacker persona and still be a millionaire rockstar. Harry is about halfway there. He's the guitarist in a Seattle grunge band that could finally be headed somewhere, but he's also been sleeping on his bassist's sofa for the last three months and has been fired from every day-job he's had. Money doesn't equal success, but it does pay the bills.

When a job offer and a new lead singer stumble into Harry's life, he might be getting a lot more than he bargained for. Like a couple of extra gigs and a boy who can teach him more than just how to mix a few drinks, and it's gonna take a few band brawls and a whole lot of heart-searching to get there.

He's gotta have one somewhere...

Coax the Cold by mediawhore / @mediawhorefics (86k)

England, 1897.  

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

Late Nights and Good Intentions by princelouisau / @princelouisau (71k)

“About last night,” Harry says suddenly, as if he’d been debating on whether to say anything. Louis whips back around to look at him.

“Do not finish that thought,” Louis says just as abruptly.

Harry looks at him oddly, as if assessing him. With a small frown, it seems the assessment is over. “I only wish to say that you do not have to dwell on it. The rest of the men will surely forget by tonight.”

“And you?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow. “Will you forget?”

“I will remember every second of it fondly,” the Lord says, no trace of a tease in his words. or, a Victorian era au where Louis pines for his overprotective older brother’s very charming best friend.

For You, I Would Ruin Myself by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze (54k) WIP

It was the perfect last day of summer. They built sandcastles, wrote their names in the sand, and caught crabs, which they eventually let go when one of them pinched Louis and he was near tears. Afterward, they swam in the ocean, splashing each other playfully before moving toward one another in sync, lips pressing together in sweet kisses. When their skin turned prune-like, they returned to shore, laying out on their towels beneath the bright sun, snacking on fruit and chocolate while talking about everything and nothing.

At some point, Harry had shared, “I think this has been my favorite summer yet.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked, a smile peeking out as though he already knew. He looked so pretty and cool with his sun-kissed skin and black Ray-Bans covering his eyes.

Harry rolled over on his towel until he was half-pressed against Louis and placed his palms on top of Louis’ chest, tucking his chin over them. “Because I had you.”

or

Harry’s unrequited crush on Louis turns into a whirlwind summer romance, only to leave him heartbroken in the end. Years later, a return to his hometown forces Harry to confront his past and the one person he was running from.

Tarnished but so Grand by tilthesundies / @tllthesundies (32k)

Louis hides in places. Harry always finds him.

I'll Be Your Love Tonight by dinosaursmate (20k)

“I don’t know how I’m ever going to walk away from you.” “So don’t.” Harry ran a fingertip over Louis’ thigh. “Stay with me.” - It's the summer of 1999 and Louis Tomlinson has been abandoned at a house party. A dispute over Smirnoff Ice and several night buses later, Louis is unsure how he'll ever walk away from this lovely, curly-haired boy.

Green in the Morning and Blue Afternoon by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze (14k)

“Harry,” Louis whispered beside him.

Harry hummed, his hand coming up to stroke Louis’ back. Louis was still on top of him, his body sagging against Harry’s, heavy and warm, and Harry loved it.

“I don’t think it was a one off.”

“Me either, Lou.”

or a Friends AU.

A Few of My Favourite Things by sweariwouldnt / @sweariwouldnt (8k)

Harry and Louis do cat sitting.

[mxqdii]

OMG NOW THAT U SAY THAT PLEASE WRITE A MATT OR CHRIS FIC BASED ON I CAN SEE U😻😻

i can see you - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: reader suddenly develops feelings for chris sturniolo (based off of t.s song 'i can see you')

warning(s): fluff, mutual pining, kissing.

not proofread

i've been friend's with the triplets for as long as i can remember.

but lately things have been different.

"this is bad, this is really bad alahna" i say with the phone up to my ear, ranting to my best friend

"okay calm down, it's chris, you know chris, you gotta tell him" she says and i let out a shakey breath

"alahna i-" i start but get interrupted

"y/n, you and i both know you guy's have always been something a little more than friends, its obvious, now tell him how you feel." she prys.

the call ends shortly after that, leaving me time to think about what alahna was saying.

i've never seen chris like that, right?

i've always thought of him as a friend, i just feel like now i can see him, like my eyes have been opened.

my thoughts are interrupted with my phone vibrating, seeing a text from chris.

great.

chris: yo, we're going to see a movie and you're coming, i already bought your ticket.

y/n: fine but only if you pick me up

chris: i always do princess

my eyes widen at the last message, princess?

calming myself down at that comment that got me way too flustered, i tell myself it was a joke and start getting ready for the movies.

for some reason, for the first time in forever, i put thought into what i wear.

i take the time to look good, which is odd considering it's just the triplets.

i mean, ive known them since i was 6, what's with the desire to 'dress to impress" now?

the doorbell rings and i jump

shit they're here.

i open the door with shakey hands, being met with nick, letting out a breath of relief knowing chris is in the car

a breath i didn't know i even had in.

"heyy- wait what's wrong" he asks and i groan

"don't worry about it, lets go" i say, grabbing his wrist dragging him back to the car.

"helloooo guys thank you for the ride" i say with a smile to cover up the fact that i'm dying at the sight of chris.

the car ride goes faster then expected, not much talking being done considering nick had his playlist on blast the whole ride.

nick saves me once again.

"okay me and matt will get the tickets you and chris get snacks" nick says to me.

i officially take back every good thing i've ever said about nick

"okay" i say, feeling the dryness in my throat

what the hell is wrong with me, i am too nervous around chris and i've never even felt this way before today??

what is happening.

"hey" chris says snapping me out of my trance

"hm?" i hum in response

"you're quiet, what's up?" he asks and i ponder as we wait in line.

"well, i- i don't know i've just been feeling different towards something" i try to explain and he nods in confusion

"okay.. care to explain a bit?" he pry's and i sigh

"chris i-" i start as i'm interrupted

"hello! what can i get for you two today" the concessions girl says

"a gun" i mumble and chris nudges me

"right! snacks... uh, i'll get a blue raspberry slushy" i say

"what did matt and nick want?" i ask chris and he orders for them

"then just a cherry slushy for me and that'll be all" he says smiling making my heart flutter

i reach into my purse searching for my wallet

"that's funny y/n" chris says making me look up

"what?" i ask

"you paying" he says, and i see that everythings already payed for as he pulls his card out of the machine

"chris-" i start but he interrupts

"shh, not a word" he says, putting his fingers over my lips to quiet me.

i cant help but feel my cheeks flush at the action though.

we walk back to the lobby, waiting for nick and matt

"so... what were you gonna say earlier?" he asks and i freeze

"uh, i kinda had to tell-" i start to speak but matt and nick come up to us handing us our tickets.

"i forgot! that's all" i say to chris with a smile

we walk to the movie theatre and take our seats, chris pulling our seat separator up.

"wha-" i say in confusion looking at chris and his open arms, like he's waiting for me to lay with him

i forgot this is something we do.

"cmon you don't wanna get cozy?" he says making me cringe

"ew." i say back knowing i don't mean it at all, just stalling from him being able to feel my heart racing.

the movie starts and i lay with chris feeling my clammy hands and shakey body distracting me

also chris's colonge, the sound of his heartbeat, his arm around my neck.

okay you get the point, i am going crazy.

"i-im gonna use the bathroom" i say, almost a mumble, frantically getting up and letting out a big breath of relief

i hear doors opening behind me and turn around seeing chris

it's too much- this is all just too overwhelming.

i feel tears brim at my eyes just getting worked up and just feeling overall upset

"chris no-" i say, his presence being too much

"y/n, you've been acting weird all day. i know something's up, you seem so nervous and i wanna help you but you have to tell me what's up." he talks and i snap

"i like you, okay!? and it kills me that i couldn’t do or say anything about it because i know you don't feel the same. the whole day i've been just going insane and i can't keep pretending i see you as my best friend"

i finally broke.

the tears start streaming down my face and chris looks at me in pure utter shock, making me feel worse.

"y/n-" he starts but i interrupt

"you don't have to say anything" i say and he sighs

"okay, then i'll do this." he says and cups my cheeks, kissing me passionately.

the world spins as i feel his soft lips on mine, a feeling i've been missing my whole life, one i won't ever forget.

he pulls away, smiling.

"chris-" this time he interrupts

"you don't have to say anything" he says, teasingly, as he kisses me again.

i think this whole thing has opened my eyes in a way they never would've originally been opened, seeing chris like this, it's something i needed, something i longed for and now i know that it's not just me.

chris can see me too.

[haddonfieldwhore]

guilty conscience - matthew tkachuk

flames!matthew tkachuk x draisaitl!fem! reader pt.2

summary: you and matthew continue to sneak around, and leon figures out that something is up

warnings: langauge, mention of violence, implied smut, continuity is questionable because i didn’t plan to write a part two 😅, unrealistic leon behaviour

word count: 3.3k (oops) part one is here

it wasn’t even a month before the oilers and the flames met again, this time at home in edmonton. calgary being in town meant that matthew tkachuk was in town, and you thought back to that first night you had found yourself tangled up with the rival teams player; and all the times after. the two hour drive never stopped him from texting or calling after a tough loss, inviting you over to help him let off some steam. this quickly turned into meeting up to celebrate wins as well, and in the short few weeks since your first meeting, you felt as if you had spent more time in matthews bed than your own.

“are you gonna be at the game tonight?” he asked as he got dressed, staying at your place rather than a hotel; he would be sleeping there anyway.

“yes, but i am obligated to cheer for the oilers as long as my brother is on their team,” you laughed. leon had gotten you tickets for the game like he always did, the two of you having made up only a few days after the incident happened. however the thrill of sneaking around with matthew hadn’t worn off, even though you were no longer doing it to get back at your brother.

“how much would i have to pay you to wear my jersey to the game?” he teased, wrapping his arms around your waist as you pulled your t-shirt over your head.

“more money than your contract,” you replied. “if the crowd didn’t mob me, i think i’d be disowned by my family.”

matthew placed a kiss on your lips with a smile, and you fixed his curls that you had spent the last half hour tangling your fingers through.

“that’s too bad. you’d look hot wearing my number.”

“i wouldn’t look hot in the body bag they’d have to carry me out in. nevermind if leon found out why i was wearing it. you’d be in the back of the hearse with me.”

“as fun as that sounds,” he joked. “i have a game in a few days so-“ you interrupted him with a kiss.

“don’t worry. i’ll secretly be cheering for you,” you smiled. “you’re more fun to hang out with when you win.”

“hey,” he warned with a chuckle. “i gotta go, but i’ll meet you here after the game? we probably shouldn’t leave together…”

“you’re probably right. it’s already suspicious enough that you told the team you were staying with a friend instead of at the hotel with them.”

“is it so hard to believe i might have a friend?” he laughed, putting his shoes on to leave.

“sometimes,” you joked. “good luck,” you smiled as he snuck out of your apartment, shaking your head as you began to get ready to go to the game.

•

despite you wishing him good luck, the game went in favour of the oilers, this time the flames falling to edmonton in a 1-0 loss. at one point calgary had scored a goal to tie the game but it was waved off for interference.

your eyes met matthews on the bench, and you could tell he was frustrated as he slid his mouthguard back over his teeth. after the game ended, you went to meet up with leon backstage, the edmonton player in a significantly better mode than the last time you had seen him. he greeted you with a hug, and you returned it with a smile, but a sinking feeling sprouted in your stomach.

“hey, it’s good to see you,” your brother smiled, and you smiled back.

“you too. good game,” you commented, the words tasting funny in your mouth as you realized you didn’t mean them; and part of you wished calgary had won.

“yeah, a little bit of payback is nice. to bad we couldn’t get a few more goals, but i’ll take it,” he laughed. payback, you thought; that’s what matthew had been.

you weren’t sure that’s all it was anymore.

•

another month went by, the season nearing the midway point now. you scrolled through your phone as you waited for matthew to get out of the shower. you had spent the last few days at his house while the flames played a five game homestand, winning all but one; which meant matty was in a good mood going into the third matchup between the two alberta teams this season tonight. a message popped up on the screen, and you bit your lip as you replied to your brother.

you hated lying to him, and you’d found yourself doing it more and more the closer you and matthew became. you couldn’t exactly tell him that you weren’t even in edmonton at the moment, instead two hours away after spending the week with a man he hated.

a man who you had fallen for; and fallen hard.

the man in question had the nerve to walk out of the bathroom in just a towel around his waist, hung low on his hips as the warm air rushed out of the bathroom and tickled your legs as you sat on the edge of his bed. he walked over and placed a kiss on the top of your head, quickly noticing your expression.

“what’s up?” matt asked, his eyebrows furrowed at the upset look on your face.

“nothing, it’s just leon.”

“did he say something to you?” he asked, his fist clenching slightly at his side.

“no, nothing like that,” you assured him as you looked up to meet his eyes, his gaze softening and his jaw unclenching as he relaxed. “i just hate lying to him about…”

“…us?”

“yeah. it was kind of fun at first, and now i’m just worried what’s gonna happen when he does find out. more so worried about what he’s going to do to you,” you admitted.

“come on, sneaking around is still a little bit fun,” he teased, and you managed to crack a smile. sometimes, you thought. “it’ll be okay, we will figure it out when we get to that point.”

“i don’t want him to kill you,” you said, taking his hand in yours, you fingers playing with his absentmindedly. “which is a real possibility-“ you laughed.

“i’ll be fine. come on, the guys might kill me if im late for the game.”

•

you were only thirty minutes through the two hour drive back to edmonton when your phone rang, leon’s name popping up on the screen. panicking slightly, you answered it, matthew glancing over from behind the wheel as your leg shook anxiously.

“hey, leon.”

“where are you?” he asked, no hello. not good, you thought, trying not to freak out.

“what?” you asked, hoping to find out why he was asking.

“where are you?”

“on my way to the arena,” that at least was true. “why what’s-“

“bullshit, your car is at home.”

“what - you drove by my house? why?”

“because you’ve been hiding something. why are you in calgary?” he asked, and your heart pounded in your chest. your phone location must have been left on by accident.

“i was visiting a friend-“

“without your car?”

“i got a ride - oh my god. you’re my brother not my dad, i don’t need to tell you where i am all the time.”

“why didn’t you tell me you were out of town when i texted you this morning?”

“not that i have to explain myself, leon, but i didn’t feel like typing it all out and i had just woken up.” with each lie you told, you knew you were burying yourself in a hole that was becoming harder and harder to dig out of.

“i’m not sure i believe you.”

“you don’t have to, but it’s the truth.” half true, you thought.

“if you say so.”

“whatever. i’ll see you after the game.” you hung up the phone and ran your hands over your face.

“i’m scared to ask…”

“he knows something is up,” you sighed. “i’m so dead. we’re both dead-“

“hey, just breathe okay?” his hand rested on your thigh reassuringly.

“we just have to be really careful.”

“baby, he’s gonna find out eventually. maybe it would be better if he found out sooner than later,” he suggested. in the short two months you had been with matthew, you weren’t sure exactly when it changed from just hooking up to something more. “unless you want to just stop and pretend this never happened...” he said, his jaw stiffening.

“is that what you want?” your heart beat sped up, but you breathed a soft sigh of relief as he shook his head.

“no, that’s not what i meant at all. as much as you might think i do, i don’t actually want to cause problems between you and your family,” he laughed, and once again you found yourself cracking a smile despite the situation.

“i like you a lot, matthew,” you admitted. “i don’t care what he says to me, he’s my brother and he’ll get over it. i’m just worried what he’ll do to you.”

“don’t worry about me. do you really think he’d be that mad that we’re dating?”

“…are we dating?” you asked for clarification. you’d never really discussed it.

“i mean .. you’ve been at my house for the last week. i kind of thought that made it clear that i want to be with you,” he shrugged with a smile.

“you do?”

“of course i do. did you think i didn’t?”

“i don’t know. maybe,” you laughed, and his hand squeezed your thigh.

“does that mean we’re dating?”

“yes, i guess it does,” you smiled, leaning over to kiss him softly.

•

you cheered internally for calgary as the game went on, sending matthew a smile as your eyes met his. the shared looks between you and the calgary flame didn’t go unnoticed by edmontons number 29, and he had to restrain himself from ramming matthew into the boards whenever they shared the ice. leon noticed how everytime the flames scored, matthew was looking for you in the stands. although you weren’t outwardly celebrating, you were happy the flames were winning. sure, leon would be pissed, but he could get over it.

you felt bad that once again, matthew had taken priority in your life over your brother, but you only wanted them to lose when they played calgary, so you didn’t feel too bad.

the game ended with calgary winning 5 - 2, and you tried not to look too happy as you waited for leon to get out of the dressing room. when he did, he was in a mood again, this time not because of the loss, but because of the way he had caught tkachuk staring at his little sister.

“hey,” you greeted him.

“hey. i’m sorry about how i acted on the phone earlier,” he apologized, greeting you with a hug that surprised you slightly. “you’re right, you don’t have to tell me where you are all the time.”

“thank you. i’m sorry about the game.” his face dropped and he shrugged, his eyes catching sight of a familiar head of curls down the hall. leon’s anger got the best of him, and he marched toward matthew and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around.

“i don’t know if you’re just trying to piss me off, but quit looking at my sister and focus on the game, yeah?” he warned, and matthew looked slightly confused, his eyes glancing to you as you shook your head behind leon. your brother poked his shoulder to gain his attention back. “don’t look at her.”

“maybe you’re the one who should focus on the game. remember which team won,” matthew laughed, and you could tell this was not going to end well.

“leon, just leave it. are you really gonna pick a fight with someone for looking at me?” you knew they didn’t get along, but this was beyond what you’d expected.

“when he’s a prick like this guy-“

“leon! enough,” you pulled on his arm. “let’s just go home before you do something you regret.”

“i wouldn’t regret it,” he said stepping closer till he was nearly face to face with matthew. you could tell that matt was keeping quiet for your sake, and you appreciated it as you stared in disbelief at your brother. he had never been this overprotective before, and you barely recognized him.

“what the hell has gotten into you? i’m sorry you lost but you don’t get to act like an asshole because of it. you’re making a scene.”

you stepped in between them, pushing leon back from matthew and putting some much needed space between them.

“why are you defending him?”

“why are you acting like this? you’re being ridiculous!

“why is he looking at you like that? why did he spend the whole game watching you?”

“who cares?” you argued, as you felt everything crumbling around you. leon glanced from you to matthew, who stood back and kept his mouth shut for your sake.

“who were you with in calgary?” leon asked, starting to connect the dots in his head.

“leon-“

“who. were. you. with?” he demanded.

“it’s none of your business who i was with!”

leon wasn’t listening anymore, instead staring a hole into matthew, who if looks could kill would be six feet underground.

“it’s not enough to be an jerk on the ice, you have to go and get with my sister just to piss me off?” leon took a step towards the younger man, your hands on his chest doing little to slow him down. matthew opened his mouth to speak, but you did first.

“it wasn’t like that leon,” you defended your boyfriend. “it was my idea.” leon stopped, looking down at you with wide eyes.

“tell me you’re joking right now-“ he spoke calmly, but you knew he was anything but calm, which made it even scarier.

“i’m not,” you said. “i went to him.”

“how long?” his jaw clenched as he stared at you, his eyes filled with hatred; for you or matthew you weren’t so sure anymore.

“it doesn’t matter - it’s not gonna change how much you hate me right now,” you said, hoping that he would just let it go. no such luck.

“how long?” he repeated.

“since november.”

“you’ve been sleeping with my sister for two months?” he yelled at matthew, his raised voice drawing the attention of a few other players from each team as they left their locker rooms. “and you-“ he poked your shoulder harshly. “you’ve been lying to me about it for 2 months? everytime you told me you were busy or had plans - you were with him?” he said, a disgusted look on his face.

“i’m sorry,” you pleaded as tears began to well in your eyes.

“why did you do it? why him?”

“i knew it would piss you off,” you said honestly. “after that game in november you were so rude to me, and i know it was wrong, but i wanted to get back at you somehow. but it’s not about that anymore, leon. i really like him.”

“were you ever going to tell me?”

“yes, i promise. i just knew how you would react-“ he scoffed, interrupting you.

“you mean how i would react to finding out that my little sister got with a guy she knows i don’t like just to make me mad?”

“it sounds really bad when you say it like that,” you looked down at the floor as leon laughed in disbelief.

“it sounds really bad? it is bad!” he snapped. matthew tried to send the few calgary players who had gathered away, assuring them that he was fine and he didn’t need their help. a few edmonton players lingered outside their locker room as well, aware of who you were and wondering what was going on.

“i’m sorry,” you repeated.

“i would expect something like this from him, but you? this is a new low. maybe you two are perfect for eachother.” leon began to walk away, and you called after him.

“please, leon. i know it was wrong, but it’s not up to you who i date.” he stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“you’re right,” he said coldly. “i just think it’s best that you stay away from me for a while.” your heart broke as you realized just how bad you had screwed up. “and get him out of my sight before i decide not to be so nice.”

matthews arms wrapped around your waist from behind as you watched leon walk away with his teammates, and you turned around to bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head as you cried, your arms thrown around his shoulders.

“he’ll get over it eventually,” you sniffled. “thank you for not saying anything to piss him off even more.” he laughed, his chest shaking lightly as he rubbed your back.

“i try to be on my best behaviour,” he teased. the few flames players that had been lingering around came over to check on you and matthew, one of them you recognized as matthew’s friend sam bennett.

“best behaviour my ass,” he joked. “leave it to you to stir up drama with draisaitl.”

“hey,” matthew warned lightly, but you laughed.

“two draisaitl’s actually. leon is my brother.”

“that explains it,” sam said, patting matthew on the shoulder. “good work, genius.”

“it was a mutual agreement to piss him off, for the record.” matthew defended himself.

“well,” sam said, looking in the direction that leon had gone. “looks like it worked.”

matthew punched his shoulder with a laugh, and you felt a smile creep onto your face despite everything.

“you wanna come for drinks with us?” one of the other flames asked, and you looked at matthew for his answer.

“what do you say? you officially switching sides?” he joked, and you shook your head with a laugh.

“what the hell, sure,” you agreed. matthew smiled, kissing you softly as the guys cheered. you followed them hand in hand with matthew as you walked you to his car, a bittersweet feeling in your chest.

leon had reacted about as well as you thought he would, but he hadn’t killed matthew, so that was a plus. you just worried for the next time they played eachother; but that wasn’t for weeks. maybe leon would calm down by then.

the older draisaitl watched from across the parking lot as you laughed with matthew and his friends.

“i know it sucks that she lied to you, but she looks happy,” connor mcdavid offered. leon simply shot him a glare, and he didn’t mention it again as connor got into the car without another word.

he hated that he was right; you did look happy. eventually he would get over it, but it still hurt that you had gone behind his back specifically to get back at him; even if he had kinda deserved it.

you didn’t notice leon watching you as got into the car with matthew, his hand holding yours over the center console as you followed behind sam’s car to the bar.

“i’m suprised he didn’t punch you, so i suppose that could have gone worse,” you laughed half heartedly. “congratulations on the win, by the way.”

“he might just be saving it for the next game,” he laughed. “and thank you. i’m sorry.”

“i knew what i was doing, you don’t have to apologize. and as much as it sucks that my brother hates my guts right now, i still have a pretty cool boyfriend at the end of the day,” you smiled, and matthew brought your joined hands up to his mouth to kiss the your knuckles, his facial hair tickling your skin.

“does that mean you’ll wear my jersey to the next game?” he asked with a goofy smiled.

“don’t push it.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

[srjlvr]

,, Babysitting With A Stranger ‘‘

PAIRING . . . babysitter!Riki X babysitter!gnReader

GENRE . . . fluff , crack !

WC . . . 1.9k+ !

SYNOPSIS . . . oops! there was a mistake with your babysitter and now you’re stuck with another babysitter…how are you going to survive?

WARNINGS . . . mention of children (again im sorry TT) , mentions of food!

“so i’ll come around 5pm tomorrow” you held your phone close to your ear, waiting for an answer, “that’ll be great, thank you!” on the line was the mother of the children you’re about to babysit the other day.

“gladly, i’ll see you tomorrow!” you happily replied and hanged up.

it’s your fourth babysitting for this week so far, ever since you heard your favorite group is going on a tour, you’ve been determined to collect enough money to buy a ticket.

“i’ve got another one for tomorrow!” you said to your mom and she pat your head, “im proud of you for starting to work your ass off”

you woke up happily the other day, going to school as usual and rejecting any plans for the afternoon.

“let’s go karaoke today!! i feel like losing my voice today” your best friend requested. “sorry, can’t today, im babysitting” you replied.

“again? it’s like your fifth time this week” “fourth to be exact, but what can i do? i gotta get that ticket” you shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

school ended up faster than you expected, and it was already time for you to get mentally prepared for at least seven hours with two children.

you arrived at the house and knocked at the door, “Y/N? come in!” you heard the mother’s voice calling you in.

you opened the door and saw the mother sitting with her children on the ground, playing with them. “meet minho and minji!” she said and the kids cutely waved at you as you smiled at them.

“it’s nice to meet you! how old are you?” you asked them, “we’re six years old” they both answered, “i was born before you though” minji teased, “only by one minute!” minho said annoyingly.

“i think we’re about to enjoy the rest of the evening together!” you said excitedly.

“i will be back around 12am, of course i will be paying you as soon as i get back” the mother smiled and you nodded, “don’t worry, have fu-“ you were about to continue but a knock on the door interrupted you.

“that’s weird, i don’t expect anyone else” the parent said and opened the door.

“hello! i’m riki,” he said, “we’ve talked on the phone three days ago and we agreed i’ll babysit the kids today until 12am”

you stood there in shock as the mother froze, “oh i’m so sorry! i forgot i talked with you on the phone and i called y/n as well oh my god this is such a mess i don’t know what to say” she held her head down.

“it’s okay ma’am! i can go back and-“ you were about to continue but she cut you off, “no no! i’m sure you two had a long way here,” she sighed, “it’s a bit weird of me to request but, is it okay if you babysit together? i’ll pay you even double as an apology”

“it’s okay really-“ “please, let me do it” she pleaded.

you and riki both sighed and nodded, “great, thank you so much!” she smiled, “i really got to go now, thank you again”

before she closed the door she looked at her kids and blowed a kiss, “bye angels, i’ll give you a kiss when i get back!”

riki got inside the house as the kids’ mother left. “so umm, i’m riki” he introduced himself, “yeah i heard your introduction from before” you awkwardly replied.

“uhhh so um” he awkwardly coughed a bit and you zoned out, “right, um im-“ “y/n, i also heard her saying your name before” he chuckled and you nodded.

“can you two stop being so awkward and play with us?” the two kids, who were watching you two standing there like the other furnitures they have at home, dragged you and riki into their bedroom.

“that is where i sleep and that’s where minji sleeps” they both pointed at their beds and you both nodded.

“minji let’s take them to our play room” minho added and minji nodded.

“let’s pick one game and play!” they said and you all sat down to discuss which game you’re going to play.

“i say we should try monopoly! we can team up and play two against two” you suggested and they all nodded.

“then i want y/n in my team” minho said. “not fair! i wanted y/n to be in my team!” minji angrily scoffed, “but i said it first!” minho teased.

“i’m here too, hello hi” riki waved at minji, “i’m good at this game, i promise we’re going to win” he opened his arms for minji to hug him. minji looked at him weirdly but as she saw that he was not going to give up, she went up and hugged him, “you better be good at this game” she said, almost sounding like a threat.

“then let’s start to play!” you rolled the dice and the game started.

“we don’t have any money left!” riki finally called out after a long game, “the bank cant give you more money than you already took, sorry” you replied teasingly, “which means we win!” you high-fived minho and you both hugged each other.

“‘im good at this game’ you said” minji glared at riki, mimicking him from before, “i didn’t know they’re going to make a good team” he whispered back.

“look at the time! it’s already 8pm!! your mother told me you need to go sleep around 8:30pm” you said.

“did you shower yet?” riki asked and the kids nodded, “have you eaten anything?” you asked and the kids shook their heads.

“let’s make some dinner!” you and riki both said and went to the kitchen.

“their mother told me they usually eat scrambled eggs and a salad before they go to sleep, let’s just do that” you smiled at riki, “i’ll make the salad” he replied.

after something like fifteen minutes, you sat the kids down at the table, and served them the food you made, “eat well, don’t fall asleep on the food” riki smiled at the kids as you both watched them starting to eat.

after a few minor fights and jokes, the kids finally finished eating and it was time to put them into sleep.

“good night!” you and riki said. “riki! can you read us cinderella?” minho requested before you could close the door. you and riki shared a few seconds of and awkward eye contact until he broke it with a sigh, “of course!”

as riki got back inside their room, you started cleaning the kitchen from all the mess they created.

riki got out of the room just when you finished your cleaning, then you both flopped on the big sofa. “it’s been a tiring day” you said. “yeah” he shortly replied and it went back to silence.

“so,” riki started talking, “why did you start babysitting?”

“it might sound funny, but i’m actually collecting money to buy a ticket for a concert of my favorite group” you replied, “how about you?”

“the same reason as you actually” you then popped your head up to see his face to look if he’s serious or not, “what group are you planning to go to?” he added.

“wait let’s say the name on the same time” you both sat up and looked deeply into each other.

“one”

“two”

“three”

“(name of your fav group)!” you both said at the same time. “no way” you said.

“you know them?” he replied shockingly, “they’re like my favorite group”

“you’re lying” you said jokingly, “how much money did you save so far?”

“i have around 200$” he replied, “no way me too!” you cheered.

“what should we do while the kids are sleeping?” he asked and you smirked, “i think you know what i’m about to say”

you both spent a whole hour playing your favorite group’s songs and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. even though he was a complete stranger a few hours ago, you felt the most comfortable around him than you’ve ever felt, and it was the exact same feeling for him.

after a tiring dancing session, you and riki flopped on the sofa again, breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. “i’m kinda hungry” you said and riki nodded in agreement.

as soon as you said that, riki got a notification, he opened his phone and read the text, “i left you and y/n some extra money if you’d like to buy yourself something to eat :) these kids are tiring so i bet you two are hungry”

“is that…” “the kid’s mom? yeah”

“damn those rich people” you both said at the same time and giggled. you decided to order pizza, it wasn’t too expensive but it’s more than enough for you both.

“y/n look! they have nintendo!” riki pointed out, “are you sure we should play in it? i dont want to touch anything that isn’t ours” you replied.

just then, riki got another notification, “p.s, dont be afraid to touch anything around the house, i know how boring it can be when the kids are sleeping ;)”

“she’s so nice i want her to adopt me” you said. “let’s play mario cart, im not better than you in monopoly, but i bet i can win in mario cart” riki said teasingly.

you nodded and grabbed the remotes, “let the games begin” you gave one of the remotes to riki and you started playing.

“so now we’re even” riki smirked, after something like five rounds, you realized you’re not going to win over him and gave up super fast. “yeah yeah i guess so, next time i’m gonna win though!”

“you think there will be next time…?” he asked. “uh well-“ you were about to continue until you heard a sound of keys outside of the door. you and riki turned off the tv and waited for the person to come in.

“hello!” the mother appeared behind the door with a huge smile on her face. “hey!” you and riki greeted her back.

“i’m so sorry again for the huge mistake! how was babysitting my little angels?” she asked, “it was great, we enjoyed doing it together as well” you both said, “your kids are the cutest!” you added.

“thank you! here’s the promised money” she held out the money for you two and you took it. “thank you so much! hope you have a wonderful night!” you and riki bid goodbye to the lady.

“that was fun” you said as you walked out of the door with riki. “it was” he replied, smiling.

“so i was thinking,” you both said at the same time, “you first” you said.

“um so i was thinking,” he said and stopped for a second to take a deep breath, “maybe i’ll be able to get your number and we could go to the concert together?” he asked, “consider it as a first date” he added.

“i would love to” you smiled at him and handed him your phone.

he put his number in your phone and gave it back to you, “hopefully i’ll get to babysit with you again,” he chuckled, “before the concert i mean”

you nodded and smiled, “that would be nice”

as you both exit the building, each one of you had to go to the other side, but not before you gave each other a short hug.

“i’ll contact you as soon as i get home” you said and he nodded. as soon as you let go from the hug, you gave him a peck on his cheek and ran away, leaving him all blushing.

you smiled to yourself, who would’ve thought that babysitting with a stranger wouldn’t be so bad after all?

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

[graciegoeskrazy]

they’re just girls

Matty Healy + Teen!Sister!reader

warnings: sad, fluffy, some language ig??

a/n: HI HERES MATTY THING

The both of you made a point to call each other a few times a week, not wanting the distance between you two get in the way of the brother-sister bond. It was usually after school. It didn’t matter if he was in the same city or on the other side of the world in a completely different time zone. He always made a point to call. You got grounded for two weeks starting yesterday. Something about coming home drunk on prom night. (You couldn’t remember all the details because you were too drunk) You didn’t want to mess with your mother so you let it be. You make sure to fill Matty in on your endeavors that night.

He took a puff from a cig as you spoke. “How come Mum is forbidding me from going to parties meanwhile you and all your friends went out everywhere all the time.”

He let out a smile. “She never let me go anywhere. Me and the lads always snuck out.”

You rolled your eyes. That made much more sense. “When will you come to visit?” You asked, voice pleading.

His smirk of a smile quickly faded. “Hard to say, my love. I’m on tour right now so things are a bit complicated.”

“You can’t even come for my birthday?” Your voice pleaded.

“I don’t think so, love. I’m afraid i’m stuck here.” He felt really bad. He really did. It didn’t matter how old you were, you were the baby of the family. His baby. He felt bad enough missing out on you growing up, practically leaving by the time you could babble. He was determined not to miss out on your life. And he didn’t. Despite the enormous age gap and expectations from others to not be the normal sibling type, he made efforts, and the payed off. “Hey.” He said. You slowly looked back at him. You could tell he was sorry. “I’ll find my way home soon. Just takes time, right?”

You looked outside the window next to your bed again. “Yeah.” His heart ached seeing you like this. It became quiet between you two. You sat still looking out, biting your nails. Until, “I gotta go. I have a test I need to study for.”

He sighed, taking another smoke. “Alright.”

“Bye.” You said, turning back to him showing a smile. One he could clearly see through.

“Goodnight, sissy.” He said.

“Night.”

…

Cut to a few days later. Your friend texts you and says that her sister has 2 extra tickets for a 1975 show in London and asks if you want to go. You were technically still grounded so you knew your mom wouldn’t love the idea of a 4-hour road trip with your friends, even if it was to his son’s concert. You recalled the conversation with your brother from a few nights ago. You have barely spoken since then, other than when he commented on a post you made and when you told him to ‘stfu’ when he posted something stupid on his story. You remembered him telling you that he snuck out, and snuck out often.

You were a good girl. As bold and ruthless as you were, you never spoke back, never got in trouble (until now), and you were a straight A student with a stellar GPA. Besides there were other thing your mother and father should be worrying about other than you sneaking out frot a night.

You thought about it for a few minutes, pondering your decision, before eventually texting back your friend and telling her you were in.

You packed your bag in a rush the next day. packing just an outfit for the concert and another comfy one for the late night ride back. As you walked out the front door, not worrying about your mother because she was still working, the realization hit you. You still hadn't told your brother.

…

Hours later, at the actually barricade, situated in the perfect spot between where you brother and Ross would be, you still didn’t. You pondered how you would do it, teasing your friend that you wouldn't tell him at all and wait for him to come out. But, there were too many people in the crowded area and you didn’t want to take that chance. You opened up his contact and texted him a picture of the blue curtain right in front of you. To no one's surprise, he called you immediately.

“Y/n Healy.” He said, as soon as the Facetime connected.

You payed dumb, your friend letting out a laugh as you spoke. “Yessss?”

“Where to fuck are you?” he said.

You played dumb, in hopes of pissing him off more, “Um…at a concert!”

“Who’s concert?” You could hear the band laughing in the background. Matty must have filled hem in.

You shrugged before looking at the camera. “This shit rock band.”

He rolled his eyes and you could hear George let out a laugh beside him. “Does Mum know you’re here?” Your demeanor changed as you tired your best to hold in giggles. “Y/n!” He said.

“What? I missed you!”

“That does not give you an excuse to lie to our parents and take a spontaneous road trip to my gig!” People around started paying attention to the man on your phone screen, realizing it was the man they had come to see.

You smiled. “Well, nice to see you too!”

“Oh my God.” He said, yet again rolling his eyes.

George took the phone from him, knowing his best friend was getting nowhere. “Hi, munchkin.”

“Hi, George!” You smiled. It had been an even longer while since you’ve seen the band.

“Snuck out, did you?” He asked.

“Maybe?” You said, smiling. Even more people started setting whispers. You didn’t care.

“Hm. You at the barricade?”

“Yep! I’m watching the show tonight whether my brother likes it or not!” You replied, smiling once more.

“Nice! I’ll give you a stick.” He smiled before your brother cut it short.

“Stop incoraging her. Give me the phone-“

He reluctantly handed the phone back. “I’m texting Mum. I’m telling her you’re here.”

“Oh, so when you snuck out and did things it was fine? Dude, It’s a 1975 concert. There are more dangerous places to be.”

“You’re 16. You can’t even drive yet, love!”

“Hey! I have my permit.” You said defending yourself.

“Your permit not a license!”

You thought for a moment then rolled your eyes. “It’s fine.”

He sighed. “I’m texting Mum.” He hung up after that.

…

Mum | Go have fun. Give him a big hug for me, alright?

y/n | I’m sorry for sneaking out and driving several hours and lying to you.

Mum | I knew you left, my love. It’s okay.

Mum| I told him to take care of you tonight and send you off in the morning. Be nice and be careful please🩷

y/n | yes maam.

…

Mum | Take care of my girl or you’re grounded.

Matty | I’m 35 mum

Mum | I mean it.

Matty | Love u too

[cranberrv]

Hey boo, I was wondering if u could do hcs or a short story of Darry dating a girl that sings at a bar/diner and going there with the gang, and she sings and maybe works the counter? Or just Darry hcs or a story in general.

be my baby

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ in which darry watches you sing (not proofread)

- the dingo was getting boring, so the gang decided to try out a local diner on the west-side

- darry was against it, there was a huge chance someone could get jumped and he didn’twant to deal with that

- but all that worry went away when he saw you

- you were on a small stage in the diner, singing “be my baby” by the ronnettes. the gang had conveniently come during a live music show

- the entire lunch, they all got weird looks, being greasers in a soc diner, but darry didn’t even care

- he never took himself as a “love at first sight” kind of guy, but there was just something about you..

- caring eyes and a calm aura was all he needed, and you had it

- maybe you recognized him from when he was friends with socs, because you gave him a small wave as you sung

- or maybe you were flirting.

- either way, he found himself unable to look away, like there was an invisible string connecting you two

- “ooohh, darry is down bad!” the gang teased when they noticed him

- “oh shut it, boys” he responded, adjusting himself to finally look away from you

- after you finished singing, you went back to your regular job working at the counter as another person began in the background

- they all finished eating and went to pay at the counter, where you were

- the boys shoved darry to the front to pay, and he glared, but did so

- “cash our credit?” you ask him

- “credit is fine,” he answers, scrambling for his wallet before tapping on the machine “um, you were really good, by the way” he adds

- you thank him and smile “do you like the ronnettes?” you ask him

- “they’re not bad.” he answers

- “i’ll tell you what,” you start. “i’ve got two tickets to the ronnettes for next month, and i’ve been looking for someone to go with. and i know who you are, you used to be friends with paul. you’re sweet. so do you want to come with me?”

- he’s not shocked you know him, a lot of people do. “i mean, i’ve got two kid-brothers i gotta look after…” he hesitates.

- sodapop groans. ”just go for it, darry!” he pats his back and turns to you. “he wants you bad, man, don’t start pitying him.”

- you smile at sodapop a bit then turn to darry. “it’s really fine if not, you’ve gotta take care of your family, i get it”

- oh my god, you’re patient too????? you’re perfect

- he’s silent, and ponyboy and sodapop are still insisting to darry that they’ll be fine without him for a night

- you speak again, “how about this: we don’t go to the concert, i’ll take a friend or somethin’, and we can hang out some other time. i think you’re cute, i don’t care what we do as long as we do something”

- gosh, you were confident. “yeah, alright, that sounds good.”

- he was tough to crack, a constant barrier is around him so he can protect himself in order to protect his brothers, and it may take a while to break

- but my god he is exciting to hang out with you!

- sodapop spends the next few days telling him how to treat a girl, and darry has just learned to tune him out

- long story short, you two spend some time at the park, just talking and bonding

- …and then you go out again

- and again

- and again

- and then he starts visiting you at the diner, especially on tuesdays, when it’s open-mic night

- he loves how you treat his brothers. you and sodapop bond over the fact that the ronnettes is both of your favourite band, and you’re so patient and kind and help him out with taking care of them

- darry loves his cute diner girlfriend!

[scoops404]

↻ dream for honestly any part of anagnorosis

↻FLIP FLOP:send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

Under the cut!

He knows before the call comes through that it's not good news. Truthfully, he's had a plane ticket in his cart for the last twenty minutes just ready to push pay while he waits to hear from Sapnap. It's just--there's something wrong. George has been blowing hot and cold, endlessly needy and shameless about it and then closed off and tight lipped, but they've always done well with distance. And this time, the distance has been good for them. They've been talking more in the last two weeks than they have since before they hooked up.

It's been... well, it's been alarming in some ways because Dream sees the parallels to the last time they were like this--the last time in London when George was majorly depressed but wouldn't accept it or talk about it or do anything but the exact directions Dream would give him in order to stay alive: eat, shower, sleep, work.

Maybe he shouldn't have gone to LA. Maybe he should have stayed and forced George to talk to him. But he knows how George gets when he thinks he's cornered. It's one step forward and ten steps back.

"Dream," Sapnap says when he picks up. "Bro, you gotta--it's bad. You gotta come home."

"Nick, what's--what's wrong?" Dream asks, and then a sick feeling comes over him. He can hear a siren in the background and he just knows that it's George. "Did he--did he hurt himself?"

"No," Sapnap says quickly, he sounds a bit distracted. "No, he didn't. He--but he's hurt. I found him in his bathroom unconscious."

"Nick?" Dream says and--oh god, his voice is--he can hear how raw he sounds. He feels like a child again--no control over the situation and on the other side of the country from his--from the love of his life. From George, who needs him.

God, he's been so stupid.

"Come home," Sapnap says with authority in his voice. For once, Dream listens to it. "I'm going with him to the hospital. I'll keep you updated."

"Okay," Dream says and hangs up. He presses purchase and then he pulls up his Uber app. There's no time.

He pays for inflight wifi so that he can get and respond to Sapnap's sporadic texts. Dream also sends his mom over to the hospital, a tearful phone call in the Uber that he hopes no one ever leaks.

Five hours. He has to be on this plane for five hours while George--while George is in pain. Unconscious. What could have caused him to pass out? Dream's brain jumps from undiagnosed brain tumor to cancer to an intruder in their home to low blood sugar from now eating enough. He keeps himself off of reddit, off of webMD because that's--for once he knows that's not helpful. He can't watch any movies, he can't listen to music. He just sits there, rawdogging it, mind spinning over and over and trying to keep the panic at bay.

What would he even do in a world without George?

When the plane lands, Dream's not embarrassed about pushing and shoving to the front of the line to deplane. he has no carryon, no bag to pick up in baggage claim, he's going to sprint to the uber line and then go straight to the hospital.

Panting in the back of the Uber, he finds a text from his mom saying the doctors won't talk to her or Sapnap, but she thinks they'll talk to him. Sapnap told them something that means they'll share info with Dream, and he wants to give Sapnap the biggest hug in the world when he sees him. Fuck, he's a bad liar but his friend comes through when it counts.

"Good luck, man," the Uber driver says when Dream jumps out of the car. Maybe picking someone up at the airport and dropping them at the hospital is a glaring sign that the person in your backseat isn't doing all that well. Dream thanks him perfunctorily.

His mom finds him at the front door and brings him to the nurse station to explain who he is.

"Ah, the father," she says sagely and then starts pulling him into a room.

What?

He turns to ask his mother what the nurse means and her eyes are tearful, a sad smile on her face and he realizes--oh. He's the father.

He's someone's father?

George is here and Dream is a father and that means...

He's never been great at math, not like George, not on tests or theoretical things that don't matter. But this? He can do that math.

"We need to know your son's name," the nurse says in a no nonsense tone and Dream almost blacks out.

[mexicangela]

okay. so. about tedbecca.

this is long and i apologize i just have thoughts. first, the fakeout in the beginning was cruel. BUT i was willing to forgive because tbh it was kinda funny and i’m not convinced that the “morning after” tension between ted and rebecca didn’t make everyone, everyone, think for just a second that they had slept together. y’know, like, if there was never any chemistry there, why the fakeout to get tedbeccas excited/cut them down and antis worried? did the reason for ted, beard, and jane being there really make a ton of sense? no. therefore, it really does feel like it was just something they wrote in to be mean and, like. come on, guys. why be mean? second, their talk in the stands??? you gotta be fucking kidding me. rebecca welton poured her fucking soul out to ted and he didn’t have a thing to say about it other than that “i’ve already made my decision” bullshit? didn’t even offer her a hand or hug of comfort? how out of character was that? he seemed so stoic through the whole episode, like he was stunted. which, maybe has to do with his being sad about leaving but still it threw me off. jesus, talk about “subverting expectations” or whatever. also, the things rebecca was saying? “you go, i go”? the ultimatum of “either we both stay or we both leave” and then her saying they’d both go only to take it back in the end? be so fucking for real right now. the offer to pay him insane amounts of money then telling him there was really no kind of monetary compensation that could represent how much he meant to the club (and her), the proposed solution to bring his child and his child’s mother over to london for him to stay (it is one thing to offer to get henry over, but to extend the offer to michelle is something else)? those aren’t things regular old friends say/do for each other, i’m sorry. listen, i love my friends but that’s a lot to offer anyone. you really have to love someone to be willing to do all that and cry real tears while begging them to stay, to choose you, to choose the home you’ve made for yourself. third, the airport scene gutted me but AGAIN i was kind of at peace with it. it would have at least left it super open ended and allowed the fanbase to imagine what could have happened afterward, y’know. like the whole “rom-com leave-cute” thing was another mean thing to do because where was the rom or the com about that?? why do that? but like i said, i would have been at peace with it because, dear god, the way rebecca was looking at him (again, ted gave us almost nothing but whatever. not even a tear? ugh.). i mean, she was looking at him like she wanted to say “stay. choose me. choose your own happiness.” also i know she’s loaded but WHO BUYS A FIRST CLASS TICKET JUST TO GET PAST SECURITY ONLY TO SAY GOODBYE TO A GOOD PAL? doesn’t make sense to my little pea brain!!! sudeikis, make it make sense (unfortunately for me and everyone around me i still love him)! there really should have been an “i love you” and not even necessarily in a romantic way. these two are supposed to be soulmates, cosmically connected, there’s not supposed to be one without the other and all we got was…”thank you” and a head nod? like, yes, thank you. thank you for showing me warmth and kindness and grace. thank you for reminding me what my strength looks like. thank you for being there for me. yes, yes, yes, thank you! but an “i love you” really would have been wonderful and i’m actually sad they didn’t get to hear it from each other. fourth, the way nameless boat dude came back in like a fucking generic ass early disney prince was just lame. i thought it was lazy. here we have a rebecca who is devastated that this weird, funny, kindhearted american football coach who shoved himself into her life and her heart has just left to go back to kansas and this little dutch girl trips and suddenly rebecca’s found happiness? it’s frustrating. really, it is. like i’m happy rebecca has a shot at happiness and a family, but she just as well could have had it with ted, who is admittedly very similar to this dutch man. i don’t get it. this is where it well and truly lost me. fifth (this one’s a three parter, sorry), where’s ted’s happy ending? because i don’t think it’s a life of volunteering to coach children’s soccer. i know people have been implying/worrying that ted and michelle reconcile but i don’t see that happening. ted, at his core, is still the man michelle left. he’s still overly optimistic (although we didn’t see that in the finale, like what?), he’s still punny, and let’s be real, he’s still a mess. i didn’t see the resolution to his arc. in fact, returning to kansas feels like a regression. he literally ran from kansas. that’s the whole reason he went to richmond in the first place. what changed? why is he going back now? for henry, yes, of course, that’s understandable. and at the same time, within the show we’ve been shown that the bond of a father and child is not always enough to get dad to stay/be a good and decent father (i.e. ted’s father, i.e. james tartt sr., i.e. rebecca’s father). this isn’t, of course, true for ted and henry, but i think it’s a point to make concerning everyone saying things about the child-parent bond being end-all, be-all. for some people, that’s true. for others, it isn’t. it isn’t a jab at anyone or the parent-child relationship in general, it’s just the truth. this is a coin that has two sides, y’know. got off course there but anyway, henry also could have gone to london, which i think might have been the best thing for him anyway, he seemed to have a good time there and he would have had a whole band of new brothers with all the himbos. michelle isn’t a bad mother by any means, but she’s got her own shit to work through if the whole doctor jacob thing was anything to go by. i also don’t think the show did all that great of a job showing us that henry had this super deep connection with his dad, but maybe that was just me lol. regardless, i still understood the bond and its importance and of course ted wanted to be there for his child. that part does make sense. the way it was gone about felt like a disservice though. ted’s expression at the end there doesn’t scream happy. he looked rather sad to me, like something was weighing on him still. and i’m sure there was. i don’t think he’s at peace with himself yet, or happy. maybe he’ll get happy in kansas. i hope he does. but getting to see rebecca’s “happily ever after” and not ted’s hurt my heart. guess i was hoping they would actually subvert the expectations and have him stay in the home he’d made for himself instead of going back to the place where he lost so much. why did he have to give up his found family and the job he loved (and was still actively learning about!! offsides!!) and the best friend he made and the support system he found (which, no matter your age or your progress, you always need a support system) and the community that had come to love him andandand- all ted did was sacrifice to make other people happy and better and this feels like another sacrifice because his mom guilt tripped him by saying something he already fucking knew (sorry i’m not a fan of dottie). i just don’t get it. how is his happy ending going back to the root of all his problems and staying there? just sucks, really, even if it was always the obvious outcome. sixth, i’m just mad all the signs lead to nowhere. the matchboxes, the army man, the bantr fakeout (will never, ever be over this one), the hotel room fakeout where they cut from rebecca to ted in the room and then he opens the door and it’s sassy, the romcommunism, the soulmatism. it wasn’t all for nothing, of course. their friendship is so important and i love it, but this ending felt like a big fuck you to it too because ted was so…distant. it almost felt like he didn’t care that much that he was leaving rebecca and it makes me super upset. all of this is based on the one-time watch from last night but tbh i don’t know if i can handle watching the episode again right now. it really did hurt, especially the way rebecca looked at him at the airport. tbh nothing can convince me she wasn’t at least a little bit in love with him. and, yes, i know. henry is ted’s everything and that’s so admirable and it’s not all about romance, and it’s not. but just let me believe what i want to believe. let me find the joys in the media i consume and if it’s the hope that two attractive, single, middle aged leads could have gotten with each other in the end and figured out how to be happy together, then so be it. i just hate seeing the hate from all sides, honestly, and a lot of people are legitimately really mean about it when this show is all about being kind. ted lasso is a beautiful series and, at the end of the day, it’s just another piece of media that the audience is free to interpret and pick apart however they want to. me, personally? i will continue to live in my delusional little world where ted and rebecca figure out that they belong together/i will pretend the last 10 minutes of the finale didn’t happen. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.