#gotta make him a kooky queer

[hyalophora07]

watched tim Burtons batman and realized i hated certain aspects abt it so i gotta write my own batman lore

[paceywittergayboatman]

Pacey and Dawson  Gay Subtext at end of Dawson creek season 6

The last two episodes of Dawson's Creek don't make sense if you view without queer subtext. Meaning from a subtextual point of view it isn't what happened in Dawson's creek rather Dawson's tv show. And while that something worth explaining it's not what this meta is about. However, I am not here to talk about that rather the two episodes before that and two scenes of pacey and Dawson that directly address the gay subtext.

In the first scene I am gong to talk about which is in episode 6 21. Pacey has revealed that he lost Dawson’s money and gay chaos occurs.

Pacey: Actually, Jo, um... why don't you hang out for a second, 'cause you're gonna have to hear this sooner or later anyway. 

Dawson: What's goin' on? Are you ok?

 Pacey: Man, and we were just gettin' back to be friends, too. It's such a shame to ruin that. Dawson: What are you talking about? What would ruin it? 

Pacey: Money. Money would ruin it. 

Dawson: W-what happened?

 Pacey: It's gone. Your money's gone, my money's gone, some guy on long island's money is gone—

 Dawson: What--what do you mean gone? That was all the money that I had. 

Pacey: I know it was, Dawson, and I honestly thought Stepatech was gonna take off, I swear to you. 

Dawson: Right. Yeah, o-of course. Otherwise why would you blatantly ignore my request to sell the stock?

 Pacey: Man, I was just tryin' to do the right thing.

 Dawson: Ah, damn it, Pacey, this— [Joey is standing awkwardly in the middle of this looking back from one to the other with tears beginning to well up in her eyes] 

Dawson: [Dawson sighs] You're always tryin' to do the right thing. You're always so eager to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle.

One of Pacey's character flaws is that he wants to save everyone because he never felt safe at home as a child and Dawson who has known him since he was ten knows this very well. Also, he referring to when Pacey dated Joey and broke his heart.

 Pacey: Dawson... you came to me with your dream because you thought I could help make something of it, and somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over? 

Joey: Ok, you know what, you two? Let's just stick to the topic at hand. Ok, so we can just solve this problem by going inside and trying to get calm... and we'll talk about it.

 Dawson: Joey, talking about this is not gonna solve anything. 

Joey hasn't quite figured out Dawson and Pacey are having a lovers quarrel and just wants them to get along.

Joey: What are you talking about? 

Pacey: He means it's not about money. So fine then, let's just talk about what's really goin' on here. 

Joey: You know what? I see no reason to drudge up baggage from the past just to fill in the moment, Pacey. I mean, let's remember something. This exchange between you and Dawson is purely a business exchange, and I think we need to remember to keep it at that. 

Dawson: She's right. It is business between us, 'cause god knows we haven't been best friends in a long time, have we? 

Pacey: No, we certainly have not. 

Dawson: You wanna know why we're not friends, pace? It's not because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time, 'cause the second you made us competitors— 

The first, really important thing here is that Pacey dating Joey turned Dawson's world upside down. Dawson is kinda saying here that compulsory heterosexuality made them competitors. But also that they lived their lives trying to reach higher achievements than the other. Although I don't think this is true. I think Pacey thinks of Dawson as the man he's eternally trying to be better than so he doesn't have to admit he's in love with Dawson.

Pacey: That I made us competitors? No. No. Now--now you're rewriting history, Dawson. 

Dawson: I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me. If you'd ever stopped settin' us up against each other, you woulda realized that you and I are not that far apart.

Pacey really broke his heart he betrayed Dawson in Dawson’s eyes. He just reiterating what I said early about being competitors.

 Pacey: Ah, spare me the speech. You are not gonna convince me that our world's... are anything alike. You're just upset because I broke outta mine. 

Dawson: Broke out of yours? How? By putting on a suit and slavin' away at something that doesn't even interest you? You made money. Congratulations. You impressed us all. 

The putting on a suit line is reference to the way Pacey’s job is referred to a costume as in performance of Heterosexuality specifically under a capitalist environment.

Pacey: How dare you. You know nothing about me, man. I was good at my job. 

Dawson: Then why am I broke?

 Pacey: Because that's life! I didn't make that choice! I have lost, literally, everything! What do you want from me, man? Does this make you happy, that you're back on top now? I mean, you always liked it better when you were in charge, so is this what you wanted? Does this make it all right? 

Dawson can be controling and self centered and Pacey knows that very well. Also you always liked it better when you were in charge has homoerotic undertones.

Dawson: You don't wanna know me, pace. You wrote me off a long time ago. 

Pacey: Really? Really? Back when we were the best of friends? When we were brothers? Was I just outta the house every time you tried to call me over the last 3 years? 

Again Pacey broke Dawson heart by dating joey

Joey: Ok, can you guys just stop it? I can't stand here and listen to you guys do this anymore

. Pacey: I didn't mean to lose your money. I didn't know that that would happen. I'm sorry. 

Dawson: Yeah, so am I. This-- this was just a big mistake from the beginning, I guess.

 Pacey: Heh. Ok.

One more very importamt scene from this episode. Joeys goes to talk to Pacey after the fight.

Joey: You ok, Pace? 

Pacey: You don't have to do this.

 Joey: Do what? 

Pacey: Sit out here with me. I know you'd rather be in the house with Dawson, so why do you just go and help him lick his wounds? 

Joey: Things never change here, do they?

 Pacey: No... because these are the roles we were destined to play. 

The roles he refering to our heterosexuality.

Joey: No, Pace, these are the roles we chose to play. I mean, look at us, sitting out here on this dock in front of the same house we've been haunting for years. We're practically ghosts of our former selves, and honestly, I don't think anyone really remembers what they're mad about anymore. 

Joey saying some very important things in here. One that the theses roles(heterosexuality) are things that they are choosing because then they don’t have to admit there gay. However I don’t quite she understood that Pacey broke Dawson’s heart.

Pacey: Mm, I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Pacey is still thinking like a straight man.

 Joey: Pacey, if I wanted to go back into that house, I would've gone a long time ago. Don't you know me at all by now?

 Pacey: Well, I don't want you sitting here feeling sorry for me. Joey: I don't feel sorry for you. I feel for you, Pacey. 

Pacey: [Sighs] Joey: God, can't you ever tell the difference? 

Pacey: I don't know. [Sighs] I don't know, because you and I have had a very confusing run of things. Especially lately. 

Joey: [Scoffs] Ok. You know, and no matter how much I love you or how long I stay with you, you're only gonna remember the moments when I leave.

 Pacey: Well, you gotta give me that much, because those are pretty much the most painful moments in my life. 

Joey: That's because you ask for them, Pacey. I'm sorry. You do. Your whole life, you spend so much time expecting the worst that you don't even notice the moments when people are loving you, and, Pacey, people spend a lot of time loving you. 

Pacey: Well... with all due respect, Jo, my best friend just walked away from me, but that's not even the worst of it. The worst thing is he hasn't even really known me for the last 3 years, so please, clarify that for me. How does that qualify me as a man with a support network? 

 Thing haven’t been the same since Dawson broke Paceys heart. Joey doesn’t even matter if he cant have Dawson.

Joey: Well, you have a person sitting right here, don't you? But of course, that's not enough. Not until you let it. 

She never be enough because he’s in love with Dawson

Pacey: In what world do I have you? Joey: Look, just because I don't fit into that... place you want me to doesn't mean there's not a place for me, Pacey. 

Pacey: [Sighs]

 Joey: Does it? 

Pacey: Joey, this isn't your fight, anyway. Joey: You're right. You're right. It's not my fight because it's been over for a really long time, Pacey, [Sighs] And it is up to you to make it right. 

She telling him to go fight for Dawson. He needs to repair his relatonship with Dawson.

Pacey: I don't know how to make it right. 

Joey: Well, you're gonna have to figure it out. You know, that's the thing about ghosts. They say that... they don't leave until they're at peace with what they left undone.

So now were on to the last scene of 621 in which Pacey and Dawson talk. Pacey has collected money for Dawson’s movie.

Scene: The ruins. Dawson is there waiting, when Pacey comes walking up and notices Dawson and knows that he has been duped. And goes to walk over to join Dawson.] 

Pacey: Hey. Dawson: Hey. What are you doin' here?

 Pacey: Uh, the same thing you are, I'd suppose.

 Dawson: Actually, I came here to meet— Pacey: Meet with Joey? Yeah, so did I. 

Dawson: I get it. [Sighs] Joey potter: Amateur peace broker. 

Pacey: [Sighs] Dawson: So where is she?

 Pacey: I don't know, but I'd say that she is probably not coming. I think she has this kooky notion that you and I are gonna work this out between ourselves. 

Dawson: Well, that's... not gonna happen. 

Pacey: Yeah, I know. That's what I told her, but we're talkin' about a girl who's never really listened to a single word that either you or I has ever told her, and I did, I said it to her, I said, "look, Jo, things will never be the same between Dawson and I." She doesn't listen to me. You know her, she's stubborn, that girl.

 Dawson: [Sighs] Well, if she's not comin', I'm gonna take off. I've got somewhere to be. 

Pacey: Hold on for one second. [Sighs] Look, you said some pretty crappy things the other day. 

Dawson: Yeah. So did you. 

Pacey: Yes, I did. And I meant them 100%.

 Dawson: I know, so did I, pace, and that's the thing, I don't know how we get past that. 

Pacey: Well, maybe we don't. Maybe that's the point that we just don't get past it, we realize that... we can't go back to the way things used to be, and there's nothing we can do about that 'cause the guys that we are now are worlds apart from the guys that we were back then. The only tie that really binds us together is the fact that we still love the same woman.

So the bottom line of what Pacey saying is that they aren’t the same kids who broke each other hearts. Also the line about the same woman is the compulsory heterosexaltiy talking.

 Dawson: [Sighs] It always comes back to that, doesn't it?

 Pacey: Yes, it does. Yes, it does, and you know what? I don't really regret a single second that I spent with her, and I'm guessing you don't either. In fact, I really consider us pretty lucky... that a--a woman like that would give either one of us the time of day.

They love her she there bestfriend. And there honored to love her and have her in there lives.

 Dawson: You know, it makes sense.

 Pacey: What does? 

Dawson: Why it never worked out for either one of us. All we wanted was her. So much so that we destroyed our friendship... and in the end, all she ever wanted was for us to be friends again. 

Joey is a lesbian and was never interested  in either of them romantically. They  were suffering do to comphet and convinced themselves they wanted her.  They were in love and Pacey broke Dawson’s heart by dating Joey.

Pacey: Ok, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I promise you I'll never ask it again. Is it possible?

 Dawson: For us to be friends again? [he thinks then smiles] Anything's possible.

Everytime Dawson and Pacey get in a gay fight they do the interaction above. It’s cute but its also flirty and it reads as can we get back to together more than can we be friends. They love each other and even though they fight they never really give up on there love. Anything’s possible is kind of like there cute little make up thing they do when they fight.  The use of anything implys never ending and by extension an eternal love. It’s romantic and also in the actually scene they have eye sex and its very gay. This like them admiting that there in love, they removed Joey from the context of there own relationship and basically said there love is eternal its a great ending to there relationship.

 Pacey: Fair enough. Look, uh, this is for you. [Pacey hands Dawson the envelope with the money.] 

Dawson: What's this? Pacey: Well, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of going to several local businessmen and asking them if they'd like to invest in a very promising young filmmaker, and, by and large, they were all very receptive, though there was this one dentist, and I don't know how she got this in her head, but she seems to think she's an actress, so you might have to give her a little role, like a cameo at most. Just warnin' ya. 

Dawson: Thank you. Pacey: Don't mention it.

So we end the story of Pacey and Dawson on three important points :Joey is a lesbian, Pacey and Dawson are forever in love and they don’t need have the relationship they had when they were kids they can just be boyfriends.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x15 “Peace of Mind”

CAS!!!!! CAS CAS CAS IS THE BESTEST CAS CAS CAS CAS

03:24pm

ALL RIGHT I’M READY

I ACTUALLY SLEPT LAST NIGHT SO I’M NOT CURRENTLY DYING. only, like 40% woozy and 90% drained of energy

LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING WHOLESOME

another steve yockey episode?? screenplay by someone called meghan fitzmartin. sweet

-

all i know about this episode is from a tumblr post that said “cas”, “funny” and “brother in law bonding”, and an instagram post with sam looking like a shady art auctioneer who sells endangered animals on the side

-

03:32

k, got my bean salad, got my magnesium chloride footbath, i am as ready as can be

-

03:33pm

i really hope they name the snake ‘cause i’m posting a fic tomorrow with the snake mentioned and i don’t have a name

-

03:35

“scooby doo matinee”

ehehe

-

03:36

digging the 1950s thing

...but not actually the 1950s?

-

03:37

“.....duuude??? do you.. need help?????”

griffin is the hero of this story and must be protected at all costs

-

03:39

ah the snake is a boy snek?

-

03:41

cas: “i thought you were going to sleep until the cows dragged you home”

dean: “thshsa notdhfsdg n”

 i fucking love everything about this

-

03:47

i still love cas’ car

i hope nothing bad ever happens to it

and i hope we see dean taking care of it the way he takes care of baby, and/or showing cas how to do it

-

03:49

the little 1950s town

reminds me of pee-wee herman tbh

also dear god now i want to write a fic where there’s a town like this except dean and cas are undercover as a gay couple and everyone’s freaking out about it because being queer is ~accepted~ in modern times but it goes against the ~historical aesthetic~ of the town and dean and cas are “faking” except accidentally change the minds of everyone through the legitimacy of their love

-

03:54

cas: “saturday evening post... i look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night”

/googles that

ooh

also..............if i didn’t ship destiel so damn hard that would be such a perfect sastiel line

“they’re very soothing”

;~; cas and his soothing, stimmy things

i love him i love him i love him

-

03:58

oh maaaaan i love sam and cas but WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO HAVE DEAN AND CAS ON A DATE IN A MILK SHOP

-

03:59

oh the milkshake probably turns people kooky and sam’s gonna turn but cas didn’t drink the milkshake so he’s gonna be fine

edit: damn i got got.  but also yeah cas was fine

-

04:01

did cas say “like a ripe melon ON the sun”?

yes he did

but why

-

04:03

i like that this town seems pretty diverse despite the general view we see nowadays of the 1950s

-

04:04

the way dean shrugs and say “i like bacon”

is so nauseatingly cute

i wanna cry and squish him 

-

04:05

I KNEW HE HAD MICE SOMEWHERE

in my fic the snake makes friends with the mouse jack tries to feed him (the fic is a 14.5k dean/cas smut fic called Measure of Thigh Love and will be posted here tomorrow)

-

04:07

lady: “morals. gotta have morals”

*eyes cas”

“you know”

whAT DOES IT MEAN

does he look like a good boy, an upstanding pillar of the community, definitely not a perpetually confused hot mess in love with a freckly bisexual trashbag

-

04:08

the fact cas so calmly and blankly reads the pornographic letters talking about the guys dick

i just

does anyone even understand how much i love him

every fucking thing he does or says makes me love him more

-

04:12

ANGEL FOOD CAKE & DEVILS’ FOOD CAKE

YEEEEEEEEAH OkaY DEAN

i literally just posted a fic where he eats angel food cake

AND DEAN WILLINGLY BOUGHT CAKE

BISEXUAL DEAN /  DESTIEL ALERT

also?? feeding a snake angel food cake? 10/10 good omens vibe

but also god no THE SNAKE DOESN’T EAT THAT but i love the journey they’re going on to find out what the snake eats

-

04:16

the fact dean panicked that jack was choosing the devil’s cake over the angel one

um

maybe he just liked chocolate

BUT ALSO

PROOF THAT CAKE ALWAYS REPRESENTS SOMETHING

-

04:18

the house lady has an mp3 player / headphones?? maybe she’s the centre of all this

edit: maybe they had pink headphones in the 1950s ????

-

04:19

bird poop all down cas’ car aww

-

04:21

like

i know everyone’s dying and it’s clearly terrible

but also i find the vibe of this town very calming

the clock ding-donging in the background especially, when cas visits mrs smith

also her apron is pretty

-

04:22

cas: “the tall man.......... hair? he has beautiful hair?”

that’s fucking c u t e

if dean heard that he would complain for 6 hours straight and not let it go, ever, and he’d say it’s because he doesn’t like sam’s hair but it’s secretly because he’s jealous, both of sam’s hair and also that cas thinks it’s beautiful

-

04:26

the “hey you’re a woman make me a drink/dinner” thing is highkey irking me though

unsure if that’s the town or just sam

then again he was clearly under the influence the first time he asked for coffee too

-

04:28

cas: “you will snap the hell out of it!!!”

sam: *flinches* “sir, you watch your mouth”

omg

-

04:30

haitch eee double hockey sticks

-

04:34

clearly jack does still have some soul because he cares about the snake

-

04:36

when the light gets his eyes like that he doubles in prettiness

-

04:44pm

THAT PARALLEL TO WHEN CAIN!DEAN DIDN’T STAB CAS

-

04:46

cas: “GOD HAS A BEARD”

-

04:49

cas: “yeah, i told him about the cardigan”

10/10 shoutout to the fact dean and cas talk off screen

-

04:51

“i’ll help you”

oh no is he gonna kill the snake

oh no oh no

-

04:52

oh maaaaaaaaaaan i dunno how i feel about that ending

and thus i don’t know how to feel about any of this

i loved the slowness and the softness of this

and i LOVED seeing so much of cas

but after the ending all my emotions just got steamrollered

i loved that the girl saved the day by overthrowing her abusive father but also not killing him and also giving him a nice ending, so to speak

i love that there was some representation in here even though i never caught anyone’s name besides sam’s ���JUSTIN SMITH” and griffin

dean and cas seem to talk in the kitchen a lot which is nice !!!

i dunno i’m just sad about the snake... jack did the right thing maybe? but also i’m bummed out about it

sooo much snake/angel/cake symbolism <3

i’m looking forward to reading metas and stuff about this episode, especially about how the sam+cas stuff is actually dean/cas stuff in disguise, because frankly it kind of looked like it even though i could’t say how at this point i time

i FREAKING LOVE SEEING SAM AND CAS WORK TOGETHER THOUGH. SO MUCH. can only imagine how hard it was for misha and jared to film this though. especially the scene where cas reads the pornographic letters, and when jared is lying on top of misha

cas casually reading porn is the best

cas bringing sam out of hypnotism by relating to him about lost armies was probably my favourite part though

i mean, excluding the bits where dean and cas talk because dfjsdjgfd i love them i can’t help it

10/10 i guess? i can’t think about anything to complain about :P was a pretty good, solid, all-rounder, yay

[ber-bonfamille-lyons]

Made You A Mixtape: September 2015

@simba-lyons

Happy Three Year Anniversary to Simber!!!!! To celebrate, the following playlist is the first playlist that Berlioz made Simba. Yes, that’s right, I have tried to recreate what it would have been here, which means that these songs reflect three criteria:

1. They came out in 2015 or before 2015 and would be on Berlioz’s radar  2. They remind Berlioz of Simba, and so they are mostly cheerful and a bit funky and are Big Sounds 3. Lowkey Berlioz is in love with Simba and these songs are telling him if he would just PAY ATTENTION. This is most obvious in the fact that Ber put two of his fave songs ever on this playlist-- Eskimo Kiss and Wood. They are both on this like massive playlist that he gives people for like Songs That Sound Like Ber’s Soul so yes!

So this is not a ship soundtrack as much as it is a Simba Soundtrack or a Simba-as-he-sounds-to-Berlioz-in-September Soundtrack. <333 The following descriptions are all basically incoherent, so I apologize. 

Out of the Blue- Prides 

Hear you come, my heart's only drummer I've been holding out for your symphony The air in my lungs is like thunder And I can't fight what you've made of me.

This is a Big Sound Song and a good way to open the mixtape in Berlioz’s opinion. He’d talk to Simba about the scratchy guitar that rumbles under like thunder, those drums, and that persistent, driving synth. And when he’s talking about those sounds, what he’s really saying is basically what the lyrics are saying honestly, like-- this song “text paints” very well, as in, it uses a storm metaphor for a lot of it and builds a storm with its instrumentation by creating a very heavy sonic atmosphere, like with all those layers and booming drums-- wow i really do sound probably how Berlioz sounded when really what he was saying is “You’re like thunder to me” and that’s really romantic and super embarrassing 

Shut Up And Dance- Walk the Moon 

A backless dress and some beat up sneaks My discotheque Juliet, teenage dream I felt it in my chest since she looked at me I knew we were bound to be together Bound to be together

GOD this CHEESY 80s dance guitar powerhouse of a jam!! I feel like i don’t even need to describe how this is such a Simba song in every single way and why Berlioz would think of Simba at once. But yeah, I mean: the sheer joy of it, not to mention that honestly Simba is the discotheque juliet teenage dream in this song who is grabbing Berlioz and telling him to dance. But yeah, I mean it’s so over the top in like every single way. Like Simba.

On the Regular- Shamir

Hi, hi, howdy, howdy, hi, hi! While everyone is minus, you could call me multiply Just so you know, yes, yes, I'm that guy You could get five fingers and I'm not waving "hi" Guess I'm never-ending, you could call me pi But really, how long till the world realize?

Kay so Shamir is a HELLA Simba artist and this song has a lot of these kooky sound samples that Berlioz really loves, especially when it comes to Simba. I want to say that tapping noise is a cowbell? Super fun and funky. And of course, lyrics wise, this song is brimming with confidence and attitude which is definitely how Berlioz saw Simba at first. (He still sees that, but of course this song I think, more than others, really reflects the beginnings of their relationship because obviously Ber knew nothing about the drinking and depression etc.) So yeah, Berlioz literally thinks Simba’s “regular” is this cool, funky, ridiculous guy and including this on the song would be conveying that impression, while also being like “Hey Simba, you should check out Shamir if you don’t know him because his sound is You.”

Oh Girl You’re the Devil - Mika  

And I said follow me Whoever you want to be Don't care where you where you go As long as you stay with me

This is another song along the same lines of “On the Regular��-- very groovy, playful, with some fun quirky sounds and structures that just evoke Simba musically more so than lyrical content. But it’s definitely a song that Berlioz would think Simba would like and find fun to dance to/sing along to. And I mean honestly: this entire album is Simba. Me and Berlioz really struggled with which song to put on here. In addition, this was one of Mika’s more personal albums when it came to his sexuality and including Mika on here and probably writing “Please listen to all of No Place in Heaven” in the margins of the notes included with this playlist was Berlioz subtly talking about his own sexuality to Simba.

Bite Down- Bastille/HAIM

You’ve got your claws buried deep Bite down, bite down into me Bite down, bite down into me You better sink your teeth before I disappear Bite down, bite down into me

Ah yes, another “I’m very into you please make out with my face” subliminal message (is it subliminal?? Is it?) Here’s why this is a Simba song-- because its carnal and aggressive and Big. I do body rolls during the pre-chorus anyone else just me?? And the shifts from chorus to verse to post-chorus is so jarring, it just grabs your attention and keeps your attention, which is probably what Berlioz would point out to Simba. And that’s a very Simba thing too, at least a Simba thing according to Berlioz. Also, I personally love the irony considering this song foreshadows the back and forth that Simber will go through in the winter.

Love Me Anyway-The Mowglis

Oh, you know I love you But no, I am not a saint Oh, I make stupid mistakes But you love me anyway Oh, I forgot your birthday And yeah, I show up late Oh, I'll get it right someday 'Cause you love me anyway

So The Mowglis are a very Berlioz band and this album was probably something Berlioz was definitely listening to. The sing-a-long chorusy stuff is VERY Simba-sound as well as the lyrical content just being so very Simba. I like to think that even though Ber and Simba were very much getting to know each other, this chorus still makes a lot of sense since Simba would show up late and forget all these little things-- but obviously, he has such a big heart and always came across as so sincere to Berlioz. It’s a song Berlioz would maybe learn how to play on guitar and think to himself “Hey I bet Simba would really like this song!”

Eskimo Kiss- the Kooks

Oh lonely bones I'm coming through the sun And our lives have just begun Oh lonely bones I'm coming through the sun And our lives have just begun

As I mentioned above this is literally the biggest fucking tell that Berlioz has a big ol fat crush on Simba. This is one of his favorite songs, ever. This was not even a little bit new, it came out in 2011, and yet Berlioz listened to this song and to lyrics like “She's like a rose without a thorn/She's like the sunflower/That never looks back at the sun” and his first thought was “Simba.” He’d probably say some bullshit about how he just liked the lyrics because they were nice and it seemed like the kinda cheerful thing Simba would like. But it was bullshit and what he was really saying was lets please eskimo kiss under the bar rn because you make me feel both sunshiny like this first half of the song and achey and tender like this second part of the song, so, like, how i imagine how love feels like. That was the inner monologue there. And really, the shift in this song from the upbeat jangly acoustic to that tender part emulates Simba’s two sides, because he is very capable of being a gentle honeybun sweetie pie. 

Smile - The Royal Concept 

I've got to dress sharp, you know I will Give you what it takes cause I'm not Gonna be outdone By those beautiful fakes In your halo, there's gotta be gold I've got you waitin' on I'll step on a grenade so you Can see I'm the bomb

And here we are back at that interesting mix of Berlioz finding some funky songs for Simba but also songs that speak to Berlioz’s perception of Simba’s characters in subtle ways/songs that Ber really wants Simba to be into so they can talk about it! So musically wise, you’ve got a lot of the same elements as previous songs here, lots of powerful guitar and some layered vocals and a pretty groovy tempo. Basically this is an alt rock song that makes you want to dance, and that’s the perfect place where Songs-that-sound-like-Simba live (there aren’t a lot of straight pop songs on this mix as you might have noticed.) But then of course, it’s all about this guy trying to go out of his way to make a girl smile (he “carries sorrow” and will “step on a grenade” for her etc) and if that isn’t the most Simba thing. What i like is this is one of those lowkey sad songs that sounds super upbeat and happy too-- which is also a Simba thing, and I like to think Ber would pick up on those vibes. He’d definitely notice Simba trying to make others happy. And I mean.................. who else was making Berlioz smile............

Shine- Years and Years

I was biting my tongue I was trying to hide (Ooh oh oh oh, ooh oh oh ooh) I'll forget what I've done I'll be redefined

Okay, I admit: this song is really not about Simba at all, this one is Berlioz trying to tell Simba he likes him by putting this song on this mixtape and look I am not responsible for Simba not getting that.

Okay but more seriously: shine/sun/light etc are all motifs that reoccur for Berlioz when it comes to Simba, and have for Simber in general. Years and Years debuted the summer before Ber met Simba and was, again, this openly queer artist who Berlioz was definitely listening to a lot of, so it makes a lot of since that he’d go into their album and put a song on there, hoping Simba would get into them so they’d have this kind of shared connection. He picked Shine because of all the songs, Shine is the most optimistic and romantic, so naturally he thought: Simba. And again, there’s this lowkey thread of Berlioz using music to address his sexuality without actually talking about it.

By My Side- Great Good Fine Ok

Baby when I come to get you I'm all I find Every time I go to come back to see it's not my time Any time you think something is on my mind I'll tell you when it's all about you, I need you by my side

So Great Good Fine Ok is like the contemporary BeeGees, and their velvety falsetto and solid dance beats were Berlioz’s Jam in 2015. Seriously, go back and look, I reblogged all their stuff. ANYWAY, so this song really hits all three of the criteria as I talked about above-- this is a band that Berlioz was SUPER excited about and he wanted Simba to like. Sound-wise, totally upbeat and those trumpets in the end!!! scream Simba, which was basically what Berlioz said to him. He’s always associated brass with Simba, that’s just like, a general known fact. He said “The ending with the trumpets really reminded me of you.” And the translation for that is “Please be my boyfriend.” And of course lyrically, this is about someone pining over another… and that’s really not a Simba mood but it is a Ber one.  

Indian Summer- Jai Wolf

It would not be a Berlioz mixtape without at least one instrumental song or something. And this one! This one! If you noticed, Berlioz organized this playlist so it shifted toward more techno/dance music in the second half and part of that was to BUILD to this song right here, his musical climax if you will. Everything about this song screams Simba to him and I honestly do not have a developed enough vocabulary for music to talk about how that works. Maybe it’s just the scope of the song-- and that it has that very BIG scope and it goes from soft, chime-like sounds to exploding outward in these huuuge moments  that are Cinematic as heck. It’s beautiful and soft while also powerful and strong (and that’s simba for u, those four things). It sounds like adventure, like starlight, like camping? And he thinks Simba would like all those things and was probalby like “Oh he’ll like running to this song.” 

man anyone having serious simba feelings at this point just me or 

Wood- Rostam

Sunlight on your eyelids You were sleeping Ah ah, ah ah ah Sunlight on your back You were dreaming

And following a climax, you must have your falling action and resolution. Berlioz decided to end softly and tenderly with another one of his all time favorites, therefore revealing that he associates Simba with all of his favourite sounds-- all the plucky violin and bongo drum and flute. Plus, it describes sleeping with your lover. That’s it. That’s the whole song. And that’s what Berlioz wants: cat naps in the sun with his sunshine boy. 

He wouldn’t have said that obviously, he would have been like, this “cool percussion bro.” 

But we all know what he meant. 

[clickwish2-blog]

Currently: August 2018

Currently August 2018:

Goodbye August, Hello September.

August was a doozy.  August always is if you have a child out of school for the summer. There’s this pull of trying to savor all the time with your child while working and then sometimes wanting to go back to school just because you love a routine and rhythm. Summer seems to end the second school starts.

And here we are in September already.

Here’s what August 2017 &  August 2016  looked like btw. I love reading some of my old entries.

The weird thing about living in the Bay Area (where I have lived most of my life), is that this is the time of year where the leaves start changing and we get hints of Autumn cues like leaves falling but then we are BLASTED with heat. It’s very confusing for the mind. Especially when you just want to settle into sweater weather and start getting cozy.

August was my birthday month. I turned 39. This is the last year of my 40s. This was also the first birthday I had without my Mom. We were up in Tahoe for it. It’s such a weird thing to go on a yearly vacation without her. Trips are more mellow and quiet. At least this trip I got to stay up late talking with my friend Eileen til 2 AM. My mom would have been proud.

For every birthday, my parents would call me first thing in the morning. They’d have the phone on speaker phone. Their singing was a little off tune. My mom lead the way. This was the first time it didn’t happen.  We were in Tahoe and my Dad had a major head cold. New normals.

I did receive:

a birthday card that sang me “CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES” (the kind of card my mom would have sent me)

a birthday package from a friend who was glad I was born

a birthday bracelet from my boys that looks like the veins of a tree.

a birthday voxer from a friend who imitated Marilyn Monroe’s voice

a double date night in Tahoe with lots of drinks, food and a dairy queen cone with my bro & sis

at least a dozen birthday cards in my PO BOX (THANK YOU)

Birthdays are a trip when you get older. I am just so glad that people are still thoughtful. THANK YOU.

This month was also big because my 6-page spread in Better Homes & Gardens on Meal Prepping came out!

It was so awesome to see so many people tag me in their photos of the magazine in their Instagram stories. It felt so fun and special knowing that a lot of you are cooking from the story.

The assignment came at a particularly tough time during my grief process and knowing that it would have made my mom so proud kept me going. Thank you so much to Nancy & team!  Thank you for believing in me and thank you for lighting a fire under my butt to get my work together to show. It was just what I needed at the time.

Inspired By:

Slowing down. Libraries. Real Life.

Go outside. Seriously.

Get off your phone.

Look at the world. Try not to stress out.

Sometimes when you pay attention hard enough, you’ll see some real goodness around you.

I was rocking out to a song on the treadmill. There’s a guy next to me watching Queer Eye on his phone and all of a sudden my phone fell and he saw me catch it. Like almost falling on the treadmill but VICTORY.  I looked over, and he mouthed “Nice catch!”  I laughed and we smiled.

Pay attention to little things like that.

They will make you feel a million times happier than any like from someone online.

Promise.

Watching:

We have been watching a few things on TV this month. Better Call Saul has been fun. I like adding New Mexico-ish vibes to my dreamscape before bed. I also just really love the fact that you can have a TV show that goes back in time in a series (Breaking Bad). It makes me believe in time travel somehow.

We started watching Lodge 49. I love Wyatt Russell. I look at his face and think “LOVE CHILD OF GOLDIE HAWN & KURT RUSSELL!!!” the show reminds me a bit of  The Big Lebowski.  Funny because he goes by Dud in the show. Dud for Dudley. The dude abides. His father dies in the show and he’s left with his twin sister so in some ways I key into the grief aspect. I like it. It’s weird. It’s kinda kooky too.

We finished Orange is the New Black. I dunno if I liked the season but I’m interested in seeing what happens now that the season is over. Not spoiling. Almost did.

Reading:

I’ve oscillated (love that word) between two books this month.

I haven’t finished either one of them. My life is getting in the way.

How to Break Up with Your Phone

This book should be required reading. It will make you think hard about the time you put into life online.

You’re on an Airplane

A fun one to read by Parker Posey (love her!)

Casey also read all of these books while we were on vacation.

It makes me happy when he is taking time out from his programming brain (he designs smart home systems) and fills it with words. It’s really important to reset your brain.

Miracle in the Andes

The Accidental Billionaires

The Blind Side

Thinking About:

The new school year mostly. Cooper is in 4th grade. He will have a lot more homework this year. He’s using PEN!! There will be sports this year and lots of school stuff.  I am hoping to get into a good routine with my health- both mentally and physically. That way I can help support him during this year when he becomes a 10-year-old! TEN. TEN YEARS OLD. I mean…where does the time go???

Listening To:

I’m currently working on a few playlists. One that’s good for treadmill use. Stuff with a good beat.

I’m only like 4 songs in so I’ll wait until there’s something cohesive in there.

We also listened to a few podcasts in the car on the way up to Tahoe:

The Way I Heard it With Mike Rowe

I used to know Mike Rowe in another life… when I helped manage a recording studio in the city. He’s an amazing human being with a gift for storytelling. His podcasts are really short. I really like this format.

Dream Life:

I had a dream that my mom gave me a cough drop. She found it behind the stone of our old house in Tahoe.

Also dreaming mostly in a different time era. 1970s-1980s.

The coloring of places in my dreams is super retro.

Must be all of the nostalgic animated gifs I’ve been looking at on my phone.

Haven’t been getting enough sleep (watching tv before bed!) so hopefully, September will bring more sleep. We shall see.

Eating/Drinking:

Eating and drinking all kinds of things this August.

We had a lot of Homemade Dried Fruit batches in our kitchen this Summer.

I drank a lot of Manhattans in Tahoe.

My dad got me into his favorite cereal- Heritage Flakes

. It’s really good if you add raisins and bananas.

He orders it through Amazon

(he’s got a subscription!).

It made me happy to see him use technology to make life easier for himself.

YAY DAD.

Birthday cone with my brother. Being in Dairy Queen with him makes me feel like we are still young.

Cooper started to like peanut butter this month so that makes me beyond happy.

YAY MORE FOOD OPTIONS.

Your crisp is on my list.

This month I did a lot of photography for One Potato.

It meant some of my own work had to be put aside. Gotta pay the bills, yo!

I am excited to see that they’re doing so well! It makes me happy to know that my photography is helping people easily cook with their families.

A lot of pancakes were consumed this month. Everyday Pancakes for the win!

Does Summer food get any better?

This month I shared:

My current favorite pens! Did you see?

Also, you can see how we get ready for the new school year at my house.

Altar this Month:

Manifesting some family love!

Self Portrait for August:

Drawing:

Let’s Check in!

How was your August? What are you looking forward to in September??!

Source: http://www.shutterbean.com/2018/currently-august-2018/

[recentanimenews]

Off the Shelf: Not entirely unanticipated

MELINDA: Heeeeey, look at this, it’s been less than two months and we’re already back again. That’s a huge improvement on our recent record, no?

MICHELLE: Considering that there was a two-year gap before our last column, I’d certainly say so!

MELINDA: Heard any good jokes lately?

MICHELLE: Hmm.. Here’s one! Why did the old lady fall in the well?

MELINDA: Wow, I don’t know! Why did the old lady fall in the well?

MICHELLE: She didn’t see that well.

MELINDA: Hey, that was actually pretty funny!

MICHELLE: Your reaction was unanticipated!

MELINDA: Speaking of “unanticipated”… no, wait, this is totally anticipated. Wanna talk about some manga?

MICHELLE: Sure! I’ve just finished the third volume of Hiroaki Samura’s Wave, Listen to Me!, a Kodansha digital exclusive.

It’s the story of Minare Koda, a waitress with a gift of fluency that catches the attention of a local radio producer, Mato. After secretly recording her drunken rant about her thieving ex and playing it over the air, he eventually takes the chance of giving her her own weekly show in a late-night time spot where she has the freedom to do some really kooky things. The first episode, for example, is a surreal audio drama about murdering said ex, Mitsuo. The next week, it’s time to bury the body on Mt. Fuji!

In this volume, Koda finds that going through those crazy plotlines has actually helped her set aside her bitterness about how Mitsuo done her wrong, and she must think about what she wants the show to be going forward. I really like the scenes wherein Mato mentors her about radio and the relationship between host and linstener. “TV viewers are guests. Radio listeners are participants,” he says at one point. This proves to be true when one of her listeners sends a fax that leads ultimately to the discovery of… well, perhaps I’ll play coy about its exact nature, but it definitely proves that reality is sometimes stranger than the occult.

Minare is a fascinating character. Full of energy and charisma, capable of selfish acts that she’s later thoroughly horrified by… She finally found a goal in life and she’s going for it, but doesn’t exactly know what she’s doing. I like her very much.

MELINDA: Okay, I gotta admit this sounds fantastic. It reminds me a little of a time when I played a lot of Quake so that I could imagine I was repeatedly blowing up my ex, only much more creative and generally productive. Is this series as delightful as it sounds?

MICHELLE: It’s delightful, but it’s also really a genius concept, since letting Minare do many things in many genres allows Samura the same liberty. So, on top of watching Minare’s skills and career progress, there are also wacky happenings to enjoy, too. I very heartily recommend it.

MELINDA: It’s hard for me to resist a Michelle recommendation, especially when it is something so obviously up my alley. You especially got me at “reality is sometimes stranger than the occult.” I mean… I have to know more. I just have to.

MICHELLE: Oh, that reminds me of another fun aspect… because Samura has already drawn out a couple of the audio dramas as if they’re actually happening, when strange things start to happen, it made me question whether he might have started another one without telling us. This is the sort of manga that would totally do that.

Anyway! What have you been reading lately?

MELINDA: I’ve been reading the first volume of Gengoroh Tagame’s My Brother’s Husband, just released by Pantheon Books. If, like me, you’re primarily familiar with Tagame’s work as a bara artist, this slice-of-life seinen manga is certainly a departure, but it feels so natural in his hands, you’d never know that it wasn’t a genre he’s always drawn.

Yaichi is a single dad, earnestly raising his young daughter, Kana, whose life is upended by the arrival of Canadian visitor, Mike, husband to Yaichi’s estranged twin brother, Ryoji, who has just passed away. Yaichi greets Mike with awkwardness and not just a little homophobia, but is forced to invite him to stay after Kana, blissfully unaware of her father’s discomfort, insists that he must be welcomed into their home. Mike, stricken with grief, but anxious to connect with Ryoji’s family and childhood, gratefully accepts Yaichi’s grudging hospitality and settles into Ryoji’s old room.

As the manga continues, we watch Yaichi confront his preconceptions about Mike (and gay people in general), with considerable nudging from Kana, who adores their new houseguest. It’s rough going at first, but as Yaichi gets to know the man who so deeply loved his brother, he is increasingly able to see past his prejudices, to the point that, by the end of the volume, he’s defending Mike’s snoring problem to Kana and fighting the desire to rage at a neighbor who declines to let her child visit Kana’s house, fearing “negative influence.”

True to expectation, this is a pretty moving manga, made all the more poignant by its quiet, slice-of-life atmosphere, The artwork and visual storytelling are downright adorable, as somehow Tagame has managed to create something that wouldn’t look out of place on the shelf alongside, say, Yotsuba&!, without sacrificing his own artistic sensibility. But, of course, it’s not the artwork that makes this book so important.

As a westerner, I’m always wary of imposing my own cultural expectations on books like this, and I’m very much aware that queer culture in Japan is as different from what I’m accustomed to here as is Japanese culture in general, and with that in mind, it’s pretty great to know that a series like this was run in Monthly Action, which, despite its “indie” aspirations, is clearly aimed mainly towards straight men (so many boobs, my friends, so many). Perhaps because of that, it was difficult for me to warm to Yaichi, who is obviously intended as the stand-in for the reader, in all his discomfort over the concept of gay people and how he’s supposed to interact with one. Watching Yaichi’s progress is painful and, yes, eventually heartwarming, but what is most striking to me, as a reader, is Mike’s patience, kindness, and general agreeability throughout. Watching this sweet, hulking man smile with gratitude in every moment, even when he’s being treated with barely-concealed suspicion, is just… heart-wrenching. I can only imagine how this must read for someone who has experienced the same.

MICHELLE: Oh, man. I knew the general premise of this but not that Yaichi would be quite so awful at the outset. And it’s bad enough that Mike’s being treated this way, but when he’s grieving and so desperate for any scrap of his beloved that he’ll take it. From how you describe him, it doesn’t sound as if Mike tries to stand up for himself at any point.

MELINDA: I feel like I should rephrase, perhaps… I mean, yes, from my perspective Yaichi is being awful, but that’s where my western perception is failing me, I think. I think we can all agree, however, that’s astonishing and awesome about Mike (also a westerner), though, is that he seems to be naturally accounting for differences in culture, and is just ceaselessly kind and giving. And when Yaichi becomes moved by that, it is what really changes his perspective, perhaps even more than Kana’s influence.

There’s obviously a lot more here, too, than just Yaichi overcoming homophobia. We find out a little about his estrangement from his twin brother and also about how his own marriage broke down, and I think in the end they are going to be strong healing influences for each other, and probably also for Kana, who didn’t even know she had an uncle!

MICHELLE: That does sound reassuring. I’m about to begin reading My Brother’s Husband this evening, in fact, so I’ll do my best not to get too riled up. Especially since I’m so very grateful that Pantheon has brought it to us!

MELINDA: Oh, go ahead and get riled up! But I really think you’ll love it in the end. It’s one of my favorite manga I’ve read so far this year.

So, we also have a mutual read this week… do you want to do the honors?

MICHELLE: Sure!

From Rei Toma, whose Dawn of the Arcana I liked and also featured a protagonist whose unusual red hair is viewed with suspicion, comes The Water Dragon’s Bride.

Asahi is spending a pleasant afternoon with her parents and she’s just about to go in and have some cookies when the backyard pond reaches out and ensares her, transporting her to another world. There, she meets a friendly boy named Subaru who unfortunately has some very ruthless parents, who immediately decide to offer Asahi to the water dragon god to obtain prosperity.

Asahi meets the dragon god who is, of course, a bishounen. He decides she’ll do for entertainment and shows off various tricks, but she’s unimpressed and protests so much that he steals her voice, promising to return it when she becomes his bride. Subaru mounts a valiant rescue, but the villagers prove to be just as crappy the second time around and the god decides to intervene.

How’s that?

MELINDA: That’s about the size of it! So. Okay. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with a lot to say about this series so far. It’s definitely kind of adorable. Asahi is a spunky, likable heroine. Subaru, the obvious love interest, is sweetly earnest, and the bishounen water dragon god is pleasantly crusty. But man… haven’t we read this book before? Like a thousand times? Am I too much of a bitter, old schoolgirl-in-another-land fogey to enjoy this… again?

MICHELLE: It was certainly a very lightweight volume! I do think there’s potential, especially in the character of the water god. He’s cold, distant, and uncaring. At one point he simply watches as she wastes away in starvation. And he only intervenes at the end to preserve his entertainment. I’m sure he’ll feel love eventually, since that sort of thing always happens, but he’s definitely the most interesting character so far. Too, at least with the fish imagery and the pond, I had a little bit of Moon Child feels, and that’s always welcome.

MELINDA: I hadn’t thought about Moon Child, but I can see where you’re coming from, though the artwork isn’t nearly as beautiful as Shimizu’s, nor does it hold up well to what was the obvious comparison for me, Yun Mi-kyung’s Bride of the Water God, which, whatever you think of the series in general, I think is objectively visually stunning. Of course Bride of the Water God is a much more serious take on the sacrificial maiden theme, and Moon Child is weird and darkly whimsical like no other manga I’ve ever read. So it’s not really fair to hold this sweet little volume to either of those standards.

That said, I agree that the bishounen god has some possibilities (even if the long hair and excessive lounging just made me wish we were getting a new volume of Loveless anytime soon), and I expect there will be more substance as we go forward. But I kinda hope it hurries.

MICHELLE: Me, too! I did think of Bride of the Water God, but I although I did collect the volumes for a while, I never actually read them.

MELINDA: Well, perhaps this little manga will fare better on your shelves! I guess time will tell!

MICHELLE: I will least give it a few volumes to see how it fares. But it won’t assuage my sorrow that volume four of Wave, Listen to Me! is not even out in Japan yet.

MELINDA: That is a tragedy, indeed.

By: Melinda Beasi