#gotta love some toxic yaoi tho

[moody-b1tch]

I didn't log in expecting to find 5 different flavors of scorpion x turtle yaoi, but that's Tumblr for us, I guess.

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

[zukkacore]

I mean. I gotta ask about enemies to lovers trope for grading

HEYYYYYYY ok so

Enemies to lovers: A

I do think i like this like. MARGINALLY better than friends to lovers but i also am the kind of person that thinks the fight between these two Types of shipping is kinda dumb. Like. friends to lovers ppl hate enemies to lovers for being problematic and enemies to lovers ppl hate friends to lovers bc its saccharine and the fans of it are like. averse to conflict in their relationships. Well. I'm here to tell you. I like when things are sweet and i love toxic old man yaoi. I can hold with both hands. Why are we fighting. We should be kissing about it.

Anyway I do think i like the evolution of a relationship over time which is why i think this one is fun. Like the hatred to trust to love thing. That or the route of like. Sometimes i like drama and when fictional little bitches treat each other badly. Like. I love friends to lovers but i think if you HAD to make me choose i like drama a little bit more.

It also bugs me when ppl try to frame it as problematic bc they will like. try to kill each other or whatever and its like ok but you're limiting your understanding of whats going on and lowkey being antiintellectual when you take everything in a story to be literal. What is this doing emotionally. There is something useful about taking emotions that FEEL big and then literalizing that in a story to push it as far as you can take it. etc etc.

I think a lot of ppl like. Try to capitalize on this trope tho and do it in a way that my ass does not like. Like be it from me to cast the first stone when im here obsessing abt Porter but some of y'all need to get better at writing enemies to lovers. Some of these bitches are not enemies, sometimes it’s colonizer / colonized and you should be embarrassed. Like. I think they should either be on opposite sides of a conflict in which they are like equally culpable or you have to really interrogate the harm one party is doing. usually under the guise of like. fucking imperialism. A lot of the really popular enemies to lovers ships actually drive me insane for this reason.

its my favorite thing ever when done well. But like. im picky.

[iwatchanime30]

Never EVER I am considering the toxic yaoi/yuri shippers to be a part of the lgbt community. LGBT community, which I have seen in general are very fun loving and are a mature community. Sometimes, in times of some issues I shared with them before, they have actually given me advice on how to overcome a particular situation, they are a really a great community of amazing, strong and down-right mature and cool people. They are brave for withstanding their ideals and all in all are a community of amazing people.

But you know what ISN'T great?

Weird yaoi/yuri shippers.

I don't even know at this point what to think about them. Even if they see two male or female characters they will on to shipping the two of them saying shit like "so gay" and all that. AND yaoi/yuri ships always get double standards. Take akuhigu and shin soukoku. If you go to the shipping website for akuhigu, it will most likely be called a toxic ship because Akutagawa slapped Higuchi once. In the same manner, when Akutagawa has shown explicit distaste in Atsushi, and has cut of his leg, tried to MURDER him countless times, there is hardly any criticism for that ship! You know why? Because they are always in said to be gay and in a "romantic relationship." People have no problem in forgetting that shit and writing cringy fetish fanfiction/making people believe in which Atsushi is a submissive pussy lil bitch and Akutagawa is a yandere rapist. And what's worse? If Atsushi and Akutagawa were opposite genders, this would be the most hated ship in the fandom. Let's take another example. Sasusaku . Ah yes. good old times. If Sakura was a BOY or if Sasuke was a GIRL, people would have no fucking problem with the ship being canon, it would most likely be positively memed around and would be called the best ship. People have legit said this to me: "Well if both Sasuke and Sakura were females, then I'd ship it." Like WHAT? Take Izuocha. If Ochaco and Izuku were the same gender again, this would probably be the most wholesome gay ship to ever exist! But the amount of criticism for Izuocha in exhausting and it's been called "puppy love" on instances. But if it was gay, there'd be no problem! Take todomomo, people always complain like "nO this isn't canon they hardly have any screentime!!!" But mfs would start shipping it if they were "gay" or som shit. Akuhigu's criticism would practically be non-existent if they were both the same gender. Yaoi/Yuri get irritated if they see any straight or hetero ship and start saying stuff like: "but aren't they gay tho." "you guys must be crazy to ship this shit." "y'all need to learn friendships." "gayest of besties." or "nah more like mean bisexual or meaner lesbian." Go to the itakugi or yutamaki pages. Nobamaki or Itafushi shippers get so irritated that they just can't stand the sight of seeing people not shipping yaoi/yuri. They have legit said that "fr, people shipping yutamaki should choke on a log." like can't you leave the hetero shippers be? I ALSO ship m/m and f/f ships like YmiHisu and Uenomoya x Mafuyu, Victuuri etc. Not tryna brag, but atleast my homo-ships make SENSE considering the storyline and the characters. Now, I've ALSO seen aggressive hetero-shippers like erehisu shippers or narusaku shippers. I mean NaruSakus have calmed down a bit, they ain't as aggressiveas they were, but they've still shitted a alot. But erehisu shippers are just the worst. I mean y'all gotta stop harassing eremikas for no reason and stop spreading false shit on the internet.

So kindly stop with the toxic shipping. Shipping is for fun not for bullshitting and harrasing people.

Edit: Okay so I noticed a lot of people are getting the wrong idea of what I said so let me clear something up:

1)About yaoi/yuri wording. I am so incredibly sorry about that. I wasn't sure about wording and I typed some stupid shit. I really don't know how to apologize about that I am REALLY SORRY. (I don't fetishize I promise! I mostly write angsts with happy ending stories,)

2)This blog wasn't meant to offend any homo-ships out there! I am just saying that double standards are not cool. I mean, consider an example of itakugi or yutamaki, if you go to that related media which shows them to be romantic, people will start typing things like, "nah brotp" like I don't really ship anyone in jjk tbh. So, when a place is there to talk about a romantic ship, some people suddenly jump of the bandwagon and start telling stuff like this (mentioned above.)

[49scribes-a]

{--Starting the day off with some quotes from the last stream and then working on drafts!--}

TAKING THE MORNING SHAFTS WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

I mean... shifts. Totally shifts.

I feel like I'm being shafted tbh.

God that singing ghost lady ruined my life.

Agh, my leg, why does my leg hurt?

It remembers the fear.

Have my gun out. Ready for it... not ready for it. Let's be real here, I'm not ready for it.

I know... HO, I know what's around there.

I hate that I know something's gonna attack me and I know I'm gonna freak out and shoot it and those-- THOSE, are gonna fucking come back to life and attack me too.

Preemptively shoot them. Double tap for the fucking idiot who came before you and didn't.

GET THE SHINY. ALL THE SHINIES.

Oh there's something under that car. And there's also a shiny there.

Mmm, do I want it? Decisions decisions.

Time for me to like, Die inside.

Don't get up, gimme your brain juice.

You... got that brain juice. From his ass.

What is that. Its shiny.

Go grab it. Go hug it.

Fuck that lady. She got herself into this mess.

Yes.... extract their anal juices.

I mean snot.

I mean...

Totally brain juice. Right right.

Shoot her anyway. Shoot her for having a crappy hairstyle.

You start doing some freaky shit like the padre I'm gonna shoot you.

Oh god she's a crack addict. Run. Run far away.

She's on crack or meth -- either way its bad.

I read sebastian as satan.

Sebastain as Satan? How the Hell Isa? Hello though.

I dunno but I think she's about to change and I don't like it.

It gave me an angle and I don't like the angle.

Mobius Dick.

Meth does that to a person. Meth. God. Its such an obvious thing.

I'm serious. Don't fucking start turning into a thing. I'll shoot you. This is a small ass house.

And god that fucking thING. I DIDN'T THINK THAT THING WOULD BE THIS EARLY. W H Y.

GO CLOSER. I CAN'T SEE IT. WHAT IS IT. I KNOW IT WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU BUT I WANNA SEE IT.

OH MY GO-O-O-D. WHY. W H Y. WHYYYY.

That place is glitching out and I don't like it.

This place looks cozy.

Marco? Better not be a fucking polo around here.

MMMMMMMMMMMM YO. Um...

That door is locked. Why is that door locked.

THAT SCREEN WASN'T ON.

It was the asbestos.

That's me. I told you what I planned to do to the house.

I don't like the way the lighting is... I don't I don't I don't. I don't like... the way the lighting iiiiss. Its locked. WHY. *GASPS* OH JESUS CHRIST.

Its fine -- you just walked in on a man getting his viagra.

Oh god.... ooooooh god.

Ur fear. It fuels me.

I DON'T WANT IT. IF THERE'S ANYTHING BEHIND ME I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.

ok but. demonic girl scouts.

YOU MOST DEF DO WANT WHAT THEY HAVE.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM...... HMMMMMMMM. SPRINT IT, SPRINT IT, SPRINT IT.

Hey look is that me? I mean Sebastian... is that Sebastian from Beacon? That's so weird? Something better not come out of the blood I swear to god-- don't do it, DON'T DO IT. OHMYGOD.

Little demons that want to sell you death cookies.

yeah but they'd taste bitchin in the few minutes before you died horribly.

Were those... tentacles. Because I know where this is probably going if they were.

Just... break your mic Bianca. Just straight up shatter it.

We all know.

Ok thank gods.

Straight up the ass.

No. Keep those tentacles away from me.

I know that definitely wasn't there before.

Anything else in here that I need, before I go? Besides ANOTHER HEART ATTACK.

Yaoi hands?

You know that lady in the first game with all the spider arms and long claws? Yeah, that was her. I recognize those claws.

OH. I KNOW. I KNOW HER.

YE. DAMN. I HATE HER. If she appears in this one, I'm going to riot.

THERE BETTER NOT BE ANYTHING ELSE WAITING FOR ME OUT THERE BECAUSE I WILL SHOOT IT IN THE FACE. You all dancing over there across the street? That's fine because I don't want you ANYWHERE NEAR ME RIGHT NOW.

The void.

WHAT IS IT. GOD.

Oh a shiny.

I bet it was weed. Sebastian out here picking up bad weed.

Whatever. Whatever whatever whatever, I'm just hearing shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO NO. WHY IS SHE HERE. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE HER AGAIN. UNTIL CHAPTER 7.

She just wants your scalp.

She wants you. She thinks you're her lover. She's the clingy girlfriend.

That's horrifying.

OH MY GOD SHE DO THAT FAST MOVEMENT SHIT, NO, NO, BYE.

That noise was behind me... that noise was behind me, right? ...that wasn't behind me.

I don't know what's going on but someone's having a rough old time in there.

Someone is having a bad time in the bathroom. They need laxatives.

Oh hello, there's two of you. How the fuck did you get in here?

Bye to your fuCKING HEAD. Bye to yours too.

Why is there a pile of dead bodies here now? This wasn't here before. This game keeps changing and I don't like it. I'm afraid to see what I'm gonna find down there now.

Watermelon head steve.

Tfw ur mom calls u "allen" and u don't know why but brb

Porn. Its their porn.

Nah it'll be singing ghost this time.

Yodel-a-yeehoo. Nothing?

Nobody down here and this is what I came to get. This is what I risked my fucking life for.

Please... please... please don't pop up again.

FUCK this house by the way. Like. Fuck this house.

BTW. MY WORK PLACE HAS RAT TRAPS SO I GUESS THEY HAVE VERMIN PROBLEMS, AND THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY BC IF I SEE ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS IMMA GRAB IT WITH MY BARE HANDS AND WOW THE WHOLE STORE. UP MY PAY GRADE -- I CAN CATCH RATS MAH SELF. They keep getting into our soda syrup specifically. Idk why.

I wanna buy my own soda syrup so I can just... put it on pancakes.

I don't think its that kind of syrup.

Try anything once.

Exactly. Especially once if its toxic.

Hey man its your life.

And quite possibly your funeral but u know. Have fun. Yolo.

You guys can all stay the HELL away from me big thing. Don't want it.

PRO TIP. SINCE THERE'S A MILLION SUBWAYS ALL OVER THE GD PLACE. THEY HAVE LOTS OF BAGGED PICKLES AND JALAPENOS AND BANNA PEPPERS AND SAUCES JUST... RIGHT THERE. RIPE FOR THE TAKING. And they last quite a while in the bags.

What is that? Is that like a milkshake bar?

Its a SKYSHIP. STEAMPUNK TIMES. Wait hold on. Airship.

The mile high club.

Shoot em in the ass. That'll teach em.

She's your stalker gf. U will be hers or u will not have the chance to be anything else.

Ditched out on your date with her. What else did u expect.

That's fine u didn't want to know what it was anyway.

Standing in the bushes. A great strategy. I love bushes.

She def didn't hear that.

Can he ghost through walls. Can she open doors.

Bushes are friends.

Glitching blood. Same.

I know she can go straight through doors I just hope she doesn't go straight through this fucking door.

Mood.

She's coming for you.

Go away lady I don't want what you're fucking selling.

She's not selling anything -- she wants what you tried to sell her. Your heart.

Hige you're not helping.

The cold is mood too. Its fucking freezing in my room rn.

The dead man is mood. The dead man and his glitchy blood -- hella mood.

Okay its not helping that my controller is also doing this weird pulsing vibrate and I don't like it.

He's not dead, he's just resting. Oh my god.

Go out there and just. Run.

Run and don't look back.

There she be.

Something just mOVED. IN MY ROOM. I'M F FREAKCING. S C R EAMS. Oh nothing moved. I moved that earlier. Okay we're good.

Seriously can someone just look up how long these encounters last because I don't know and I don't think she's supposed to be following me around but maybe its just me and she's just like "HEY YOU YOU'RE JUST SPECIAL".

She's a betta fish. Look at her dress. Betta fish.

Or maybe she's a friend. She sings songs. She's friendly. She just wants to make you happy with her singing.

She has all them arms for hugs.

I'm holding my breath for u.

Just keep moving. She can only be behind you right.

I mean. She could be. Above you. Or under you.

My waifu. She's gone.

Damn that bitch really needs to stop harassing me.

File a restraining order.

Oh that sounds like a good time.

Shot it in the face.

He laugh at u.

What r u doing. Don't run into it.

w ha t he f cuk. I sjt. c chOEKD O N MY PIZ A.

I hate to be the one to tell you this but... acid beats knife.

Don't die isa.

Su ch en cour a gng wor d s.

b i tch you better run.

WHAT WAS THAT.

Note to self... electric bolts work WONDERS on those things.

Dang. No creepies in the crates.

I'd rather have the ghostie boo instead of that... fleshy thing.

Sounds like they got into the firecrackers again.

He angery. HULK WANT OUT. LET HULK OUT.

Hulk's weak bitch ass cousin.

You're dead right? Like, one hundred percent? Because... if either of you get up. You DEFINITELY better not get the fuck back up again.

Hulk's disappointed in his cousin.

I am doing a concern, friend.

You don't like any noise, Bianca.

You're right Kit, I don't like any noise, because noise means bad stuff.

I've figured out why its so cold in my room. The ghost lady has come to me. I'm embracing it.

She has come to hug u.

Yes.

She has many arms for tight hugs.

GOod. I like hugs.

Technically they're like. Sashes or something. Like a gd betta fish.

Betta fish lady ghost. I wanna muse her now. Bettafishghcst would be the url. She's coming 4 u, Lavi.

That fucking laugh tho. "nyA HA".

Why would u do that 2 Lavi.

Bc I love him.

mAN I WANT SOME COFFEE.

Coffee is nasty. Ya'll are nasty.

Wow. Not if you put enough cream and sugar and flavoring in it.

Cappuchinos are where its at.

Nah still nasty.

It doesn't taste like coffee anymore-- wOW.

Coffee is the devil's brew.

Uuuuuh this place looks no bueno.

The devil's brew and the devil's lettuce. Le go. How many other things does the decil have. Devil*

No its decil now.

Does the devil live on a farm in the country?

BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL BUT ASIDE FOR MEEE, FOR MEEEEEEEEE, FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Devil butt. Fuck yea. Thanks beez.

I... I meant. put. gOD DA MN I T. FUC KK.

Gotta face ur fears Bianca. Face them like a man. A big, burly man.

A bara. Have those huge yaoi hands.

Someone's gassy.

I hear something... where is it? Oh no. NOOO. ITS THIS BITCH. Why.

ITS A CLICCCKEEEERRRR.

Called it.

Even in assumed death, they have a knife. Relatable.

YEET.

BLOW OUT HER UTERUS BIANCA.

SHE. EATS. BULLETS.

Back. I got sour patch. Hopefully I don't end up choking on it.

Sour patch to soothe your soul.

Like I choked on me fucki n pizza?

You know what she reminds me of? The um... Witches from Left for Dead?

"YOU STARTLED THE WITCH".

And y'know now I can't get back up so this is it. This is me, gonna die and regretting it, doing it a lot.

"You startled the witch" my ass, more like-- WHOA, that startled me. More like you have a death wish.

Best friends kill each other before the apocolypse.

Good thing Lavi and Doug aren't friends then huh? Kek.

Lavi and doug tb-- i'm.

Oh wait. : >

I... sorry Bianca, I have to leave because SOMEONE'S being mean to me. Jk. I'm staying but gD.

They're having a rave. GLOWY EYES RAVE. *BEAT BOXES*

Oh look there's a ladder... there's a tripwire too. God damn it, where's the camera?

U lived. I CAN'T BELIEVE.

That's bad luck.

I hate how tight it is and that I'm not seeing whatever is seeing me. I hear heAVY BREATHING.

That's not heavy breathing -- its purring.

Its Doug. He's coming for u.

o h. nOT DOUG.

SURPRISE.

MY SON ISN'T LIKE THAT. MY SON JUST WANTS AFFECTION.

STRANGER DANGER.

Don't blow urself up.

Hallejulerr.

The green juice is fuji dew.

You're dead, right? You're not dead, I'm not gonna bother you right now.

Evil train. tHERE'S SOMETHING IN THAT TRAIN.

I love the editions of the flies in this game, but the lack of maggots and decay is upsetting.

That's a big rat.

I SAW IT MOVING. I KNEW IT WAS THERE.

She's busy freaking over the rat.

I haven't seen someone so upset over a rat since my mom found a mouse in her pillow.

She's just mad cuz her tanning bed turned her into jerky.

Head splodey.

You woke them up. What the fuck that was rude of you.

I mean, you're alive. I consider that a silver lining to this whole situation.

I keep expecting more gouls in a box.

Ghouls in a box, much like kittens in a box, but now with fifty percent more mauling.

Only fifty?

What, is fifty percent mauling not good enough for you? Is this years model of ghouls not violent enough? GOD KIT, not everyone can keep up with your strict mauling standards.

Oh come on my mauling standards aren't that high. I just assumed this wasn't the world of Hello Kitty or MLP.

How safe is O'Neal's safe house, really?

You can service me any time bby.

Probably cuz you got cockblocked by the ghost lady lmao.

She wants u to stay that bad. She's such a sweetheart. Clingy and murderous, but a sweetheart.

Oh that looks like a fun time. Let's walk right into the squiggly room.

Hey look its the slow mo brain juice again.

Its just a bullet to the brain m8. Aint that bad. I've taken a few of those.

U mean Fuji juice. Wait.

Tropical punch.

I meant fuji dew.

Blah, can't read with this-- Damn it sour patch. You're ruining me.

Ur gf is coming.

Please nothing come at me-- YOU'RE A FITCH.

It blue but it not cold.

Um... see THAT I don't like.

Excuse you. That is called abstract art. And it is gorgeous.

THAT SCREAM.

All I heard was the sound of my ears imploding. And then silence.

Its the sound of forgiveness.

Its neato.

Screaming and then silence.

OKAY CARL. Get out of here.

Okay phone?-- not cool.

No save -- we live and scream and die like men.

Don't get caught by the ghost lady in all that distance ; >

Wing it like a birb. Caw caw.

Sitting here making noise in rl with the desperate hope it gets you caught somehow.

midget shadow.

Children are omens of death. Do not follow the pitter patter of feet.

Can confirm. Just look at Colette.

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT.

Too easy, Isa. Too easy : >

I swear to god nothing better crawl out after me. I will throw my controller at the TV and then regret it.

U think a door will save you? Ur a stupid bitch.

She's... probably dead. Just like. nEVER MIND.

Ur waifu awaits.

I really hope nothing is waiting for me. Other than those things across the field-- where'd they go? ....Wheeerre'd they gooo?

That earlier growl says there probably is.

Okay now I'm concerned, there were... things. All of the things were-- okay where are they. They were rIGHT THERE.

Maybe you got lucky and they just despawned.

That's what we thought about the ghost lady kek.

Your "why"s just now kinda sounded like the ghost lady's "la la"s.

That's way too man <3s.

She ain't going anywhere. Driving me nuts with your hunkering in one spot and standing still.

So much for "no ghost lady until chapter 7"

Well too bad Hige I'm not prone to run gung ho like "HEEEYYY".

Well you either run or you die so its really just up to your personal preference.

M8 that is too red to be days old. That is five hours at best.

I have this love hate relationship with kids because part of me is like "satan spawns" but then I just. want to protect them. Like what the fuck is wrong with me.

I hate kids and I have no desire to protect them.

And you are 100% faking death good sir.

There's another little statue here, but I-- don't wanna be here anymore, BYE. Yep, don't wanna be here. Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna.

He didn't see shit now.

*sighs* That body kinda twitched and it was nasty how it did it.

Good job Bianca. Can't climb up a damn ramp.

Please stop yelling. Stop yelling.

Ew. Ew. I mean its a little cool, but ew.

I don't like not having shotgun shells. Shotgun shells are like my security blanket.

Sebastian, please, take the steps like. Two at a time.

Nothing is ever "just a light" kek.

"Another doll" how many dolls this fucking kid have?

Who died? Who you? Randall Figg.

WHOA. OKAY. That hallways gone.

ITS THE BAE.

That's a tentacle monster.

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going. Well. I've heard of enough hentai to know.

I have actually seen enough hentai to know.

Sin city poppin up round here.

Are those human centipedes?

SHE FOUR LEGGING IT.

Oh my god there's more things here. O'Neal. Even though you're an ass, at least you gave me stuff.

I wanna lick every single window in this place. I'm not sure why, but I just want to.

[sshining]

As I did this, I noticed the same question come up over and over again in different guises, so let this be an answer to all of them: 

STOP SENDING HATE. FOR WHATEVER REASON. If everyone on tumblr got hate just for their opinions, geez, nobody would share anything with each other. We wouldn’t have a fandom. Stop it. Everyone’s entitled to think what they want. It’s fiction. Everyone has what they like/dislike and that’s ok as long as nobody puts anyone down for enjoying things they don’t necessarily agree with.  Fictional preference =//= IRL values. 

Ie) Game of Thrones is bomb af but it doesn’t mean I condone rape or senseless killing etc. 

this is a long af post. like wow. i should’ve studied but nope. do this insanely long essay questionnaire.  for @paperparfait

What’s your opinion on Klance? Initially I just thought it was another yaoi ship the fans had gone nuts with. Now it’s all over the place and rubbing off on me a little. It’s cute and there’s certainly basis for it in the show; ships have sailed on less for sure, so it was inevitable. I don’t hardcore ship it but fan portrayal of it sure is cute. Both Lance and Keith have had their fair part of being the blushy mess/cool side of the relationship. 

What’s your favorite ship, and why? JUST ONE ?! My go to used to be Shallura but I gotta say the platonic Shiro/Keith and Kidge have wormed their way into my heart. Damn it Keef. He’s got some strong Lion King Simba feels. Lost lonely Galra halfling boy. Poor thing. It feels impossible to not multi-ship after you really study the team’s interactions. They all have these wonderful quirks and things that make their relationships (romantic or otherwise) believable and have so much depth. It’s a great foundation for fanworks because there’s so much unexplored and so much potential for whatever the individual fan/viewer sees. It makes your heart twinge a little when your ship isn’t canon, but I think that’s what builds great storytellers in the fandom. It allows us to expand on it and I am grateful that the showmakers left it open (for now). Do you think the fandom is too concerned with “ship wars” that they’re not appreciating the show and its characters as a whole? YES. 

Do you think the writers are portraying Hunk as a “Foodie”, or someone who has a deep passion for cooking food? The latter. Passion for cooking and foodie aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive tho. He likes good food and he likes making good food for others to enjoy (Space Mall ?) so they can appreciate what he finds comforting, I think. It’s like sharing a blanket with someone, I guess. But food.

Are Allura’s inital reactions about Keith being a Galra justified? Why or why not?

OK OK OK; Allura’s anger is understandable, but never justified. She shows innately human responses; here is somebody she trusted who is (v remotely) connected to something that caused her great pain and loss. Obviously she’d feel betrayed and we know the reasons why; but this is somebody who has otherwise never done her harm. She hated Keith simply because of his relation to the Galra; she then mistook her anger at the actions of Zarkon for her anger at Keith. Spooky parallels between this and Katara being pissed at Zuko in the Southern Raiders field trip; angry over the loss of her mother, she redirects that anger at Zuko because he’s the closest thing to the Fire Nation she can take it out on. In the end, she realised losing her planet and race and her family wasn’t Keith’s fault and she never should have blamed him. I’m sure in her heart she knew better, but she let her anger control her actions. I think it shows great growth that she can move past it, because not everyone can pull an Aang and forgive. Even though she was a princess, she still had faults and I love that about her. Omg I want to write an essay on this.

Do you think that the Voltron fandom is “toxic”, if so, what do you think we could do as a fandom to end this toxicity?

The warzone and whatnot is toxic; I’ve been lucky to stay out of it and I’d recommend everyone do the same. No matter where you go, I think there’s always a huge risk of a fandom (especially a big one) of having a toxic corner. Let it be just that; a corner. Everywhere you go, there will be people who disagree/don’t like what you like. You just have to learn to either live alongside each other or avoid each other. Hopefully the people who disagree and whatever are mature enough to respect your decisions and co-exist. This is often not the case, so in that case, just do your best to ignore it. People who don’t want to listen just won’t. Let them sit in their angry little corner. Don’t let them stop you from enjoying something that’s so great like Voltron. This is the internet; it’s not like you have to see/work with these people every day - you can avoid it if you so wish. 

Do you think Keith would make a good leader? Why or why not? Does he show any evidence throughout the show that he would? Should people send hate to other people in the fandom for thinking Keith is a good leader, or liking the fact that he had character development? (see v first response)

UM. Keith right now at the end of S2 ? Not ready. Nobody is ever ready to be a leader right off the bat. It’s something he’ll grow into. I imagine by the end of S3 he might be more ready. He’s lost and unable to take into consideration the rest of the team because he’s so caught up in finding out who he really is. If you don’t even know yourself, how can you understand the team you’re a part of and lead it well ? Shiro is right that he shows potential; he sets a goal and he is determined and strong-willed enough to see it to completion. He cares about his team members. And he’s willing to listen to Shiro’s advice and learn from his mistakes. Kid’s got potential. But he lacks real leadership experiences. 

What do you think about the diversity of the characters in the show? LANCE IS CUBAN APPARENTLY. I love the diversity. Strong girls, all sorts of examples of masculinity and intelligence. Breaking stereotypes everywhere. Love it. Should it be an unwritten rule that fans should not harass the cast and crew members about issues in the fandom, or ships? Why or why not?

I’m so embarrassed actually that cast/crew members have been harassed (if it’s happened). Acting like kids in front of the people who put in hard work to bring you this wonderful content; you should be ashamed. Fandom issues are fandom issues. They just want to see you guys enjoy what they put their heart into. They always sound so happy and proud that Voltron has such a huge following of loyal fans. I hope y’all will act in a way that upholds their pride in the fandom. SIDE NOTE THO: apparently in Korea, kdramas have been ruined by online netizens (ie angry, loud fans online with nothing better to do) who demand certain pairings or endings. In the end, the drama goes the way the netizens want and the story is often ruined because of this. What the fans want isn’t necessarily the best way to go for a work. 

What are your thoughts on the Shaladin ships?

I had to search what Shaladin actually was. I just saw a lot of hate, unfortunately. Well IDK about romantic shipping, but certainly, I love exploring their interactions. They’re such dynamic characters, just LET ME STUDY ALL OF THEM. I want everyone (Besides Keith) to have a life changing field trip with Shiro at some point.

What are you expecting from season three this September?

I DON’T EVEN KNOW. I JUST WANT TO WATCH IT.

Do you think some people in the fandom are stripping the characters of Voltron from their diverse, fleshed-out personalities to slap their face on their HCs, ships, etc? If so, what are your thoughts on that?

Well yeah, this is a minefield of a question. Again this comes down to people disagreeing with things, respecting that other people see different aspects of a character and peacefully co-existing. Everyone sees what they want to see or sees parts of themselves in a character they like. Everyone is entitled to enjoy Voltron the way they want to, even if I don’t agree with them. Let people be happy. But I do love it when I come across HCs and ships with well thought out reasoning and study from the actual canon. It makes it that much more believable and enjoyable for me.

What is the show lacking?

MORE EPISODES. MORE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN CHARACTERS THAT NEVER GET TO INTERACT MUCH. Even though it was short, I thoroughly enjoyed Lance and Pidge being together and unlocking their big-bro watching out for his sassy badass nerd younger sister dynamic. SPACE MALL YOU GUYS. He doesn’t even question it; Pidge really wants this game and he’s gonna help her grab coins from a fountain like a pair of hobos because he cares about her. 

The more I thought back on it and re-watched the episode the more I wanted to see it. It’s so cute and I love seeing Lance not being a flirty McFlirtson and being a genuinely supportive and kind person. I also can’t wait to see Keith as Reckless Leader in a repeat of that early scene where he drives them all off a cliff and everyone is screaming their heads off but with him as official Leader and about to make everyone do something really high risk-high pay-off. 

Keith afterwards tho

What do you think Lotor would be like?

I have no idea. I’ve seen everything from shitpost Edgelord to flirty Lance lover to “I will avenge my father and lead our empire to absolute victory !” trailer Lotor. I think he’ll be most like what we’ve seen heard in the trailer. He will be a gallant prince who will fight ruthlessly and with charm. Hopefully we’ll see some silly sides of him too. I also want him to be one of those “omg we can’t beat this guy” mastermind and I want to see Keith trying desperately to lead his pride (of Voltron lions) to victory but he’s struggling against this chessmaster prince and he’s like “Shiro I’m sorry, I’m failing you as Leader” and everyone supports Keith and recognises how hard he’s working for the team but I want the team to be really panicked and have a “we failed the universe” moment. It will be heartwrenching and wonderful. A N G S T  4  L Y F E.

What do you think about people who say they will quit the fandom if their ship doesn’t become canon? Are you one of those people? If you are, why would you quit?

QUIT THEN. And no, I’m not gonna quit just because things didn’t go my way. I’ve lived through so many non-canon ships like whatever. It just means I can go on writing whatever HC I want and explore the infinite possibilities. Yeah it kind of hurts in the short term but eh. Respect the creators. Trust in their creative vision. Besides, this is not a romance-driven series, so why would it...happen ?

How can people in the fandom express their disliking for a ship without it making themselves look like an arse?

repeat after me: I do not like nor ship this but I will respect the fact that you do and refrain from sending hate to you about your choices.

Did you think Keith’s character development was well thought out? Who do you think his mother is, and what all happened in his past?

What development tho. He’s still as he was back in S1 imo. A little more mature and able to work in the team. He’s developed the ability to listen to others, but I think he kind of grew further into himself because of all the questions he had about his past. His mama is Galra for sure, and we know he was abandoned by her (for reasons unknown). Poor thing. I think he also learnt to tolerate Lance but you know they still fight like babies. So nah. IMO I don’t think he grew up that much. We just saw into a little of his mystery and understood where he came from. We just understand his actions more now.

Is Shiro dead? If not, where do you think Shiro is? (My best guess is the astral plane, but I would’t know :p)

Astral plane, bitches. Let’s go. Chekov’s...astral plane ? Why did they mention it at all if it had no other meaning in S2 ?

Is it okay for people to express their excitement online/in social media/publicly when (if) their ship becomes canon? Sure why not ? Congrats y’all ! Hopefully I’ll be one of those people ahaha. If not, ah well. Nothing new.

What are your thoughts on Matt escaping? Do you think Pidge will be reuinited with him in season three? 

iT’S HAPPENING WE ALL KNOW. I’M PSYKED. YES IT’S HOLT REUNION TIME. I wonder if that means everyone’s gotta call Pidge “Katie” now. Pidge is such a cute name.

Are you excited for season three? Why or why not? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK, OFC I AM. Even if I had no idea what was gonna happen in S3, I’d still be excited because the quality of this show (aside from the beginning few episodes where they had to set the world up etc) has been so top notch. I have faith that S3 won’t disappoint. I have such immense faith in the cast and crew. 

Are smaller ships (such as Kallura, Kidge, Heith) in the fandom just as valid as the larger ones (such as Sheith, Klance, Shallura)?

It may not feel like it is, but every ship is valid so long as you’ve got shippers. Y’all kids are allowed to enjoy whatever it is you enjoy. Don’t let anyone send you messages saying otherwise. I wasn’t aware Kallura was a smaller ship tbh. Klance does dominate tho. Red oni/blue oni pairings are always popular no matter what fandom. (Spitfire in YJ anyone ?)

What are your thoughts on people calling Kallura heteronormative but then they ship another heterosexual/mantic ship (such as Shallura)?

I just read a lot of big words. I’m not sure what heteronormative even means.  *one Google later* I don’t deny that for nearly all of media history heteronormative stuff has dominated. But I think putting that on a ship that a) isn’t even confirmed canon and b) is just a bloody ship that people enjoy isn’t right. Say if a movie had a male and female lead who ended up romantically together and put a homosexual potential relationship in a bad or lesser light; that would be heteronormative. In any case, that’s not something to put blame on a bunch of fans that aren’t even related to the writing or creative process. They’re just enjoying a ship. And yes IMO that’s rather hypocritical; you can’t ship this hetero pair but you can ship this one because it’s ok by my standards. You better have some rock solid reasoning and logic behind that one. What makes it ok/not ok ? Is it the thing that Lance is (possibly) bi and a preferred ship for Keith ? 

What are your thoughts on sexuality headcanons?

they’re HC; let people ENJOY WHAT THEY WANT. Stop policing the way people think about a fictional thing. 

Do you think ship discourse will ever stop/settle down in the fandom? N E V E R.  So long as people have different opinions, there will always be a struggle to co-exist. It’s just human nature.

What do you think about Kalteknecker disappearing? Sadness. (are we talking about the cow ?) Do you think Pidge and Lance ever played their game? NO AND THAT’S EVEN MORE SADNESS. But I hope Lance comforted Pidge and they shared memories over stupid nerdy things on Earth they enjoyed. I hope they find a way to play it tho. Lance was really homesick so I think he and Pidge would really bond over that.

Between Keith finding out he was a Galra at the end of The Blade of Marmora episode, and The Belly Of the Weblum, they didn’t show everyone’s inital reactions to Keith being a Galra. What do you think happened between the team? Why do you think the writers left that out?

Well, firstly as an aspiring writer myself, I’ve been told: if it doesn’t add to the plot or move it along, you don’t need it. Less is more. The most important reaction was Allura’s; everyone else pretty much accepted Keith except her. It’s safe to assume that they were all shocked, but what’s more important is what they did after the shock. Shiro and Pidge were aiite. Hunk was “idk what to do” but got over it real quick realising Keith was still Keith. I don’t remember Lance’s reaction tbh. The team probably had a “OMG” moment and then got over it, because they’re a team. That showed easily enough in the final battle when they were all working together regardless.

Which is the best episode out (so far)?

I DON’T WANT TO SAY SPACE MALL BUT I REALLY LIKED SPACE MALL. I think I liked...the episode with the Olkari in it (Greening the Cube). Not only did we get to see Pidge in focus, the concept of green technology ALWAYS GETS ME. I loved the solar panel roads in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl, and I love solarpunk/green tech stuff. It’s such a concept and the art looks amazing and so fantasy-esque in what’s a known sci-fi genre. It also gives me hope that we’ll have tech like that one day. Hopefully I’ll get to enjoy it. I think Keith’s little “we’re all related” moment also hit home. It was defs a “space Swamp” episode for Voltron and Keith had an Avatar moment.

What are your thoughts on Haggar being Altean? Do you think Allura will be distraught about this, the fact that one of her own people has been helping the Galra do such horrible things so loyally?

Plot twist wow. I think since it happened so soon after her learning of Keith’s Galra heritage, it didn’t surprise her as much as I expected. She was in the heat of battle tho, so I can’t gauge her reaction and thoughts as accurately. Maybe she’ll ponder over it, but I think most likely knowing that there are good Galra that have helped them (ie the Blade of Malmora) lends itself to the fact that the possibility of bad Alteans is in fact a reality. Maybe she’ll have an ultimate realisation/epiphany in S3 about it.

Do you think Allura’s apology to Keith was sincere? Do you think she grew as a person/character? Yes and yes. She was able to guide her anger at the Galra away from Keith and recognise that he was not an appropriate target for it. That takes some real emotional maturity. I haven’t seen the episode in a while, but from memory, she sounded like she couldn’t believe that she’d distrusted him so much after everything they’ve been through together. She had betrayed a friend and she regretted that. It might have felt a bit rushed since Voltron eps are only 20 mins or so long; if it had been longer, the writers might have had a bit more play time with it. What do you think the team’s reactions will be when Keith takes over as the pilot of the Black Lion? WHAT DO U MEAN WHEN. omg. Maybe some initial “WTF”, but they’re in a dire situation. Pidge probably understands this the most; her logic will win them over and they’ll most likely have to quickly accept Keith as leader in the meantime while they look for Shiro. Lance will have a fit over this probably. Pidge and Hunk will watch on as Keith and Lance have more fights than ever. Allura will probably step in as the parent in lieu of Shiro.

How do you think the team will take Shiro’s disappearance/death?

Poor lost little lion cubs. Keith will be the most anxious to find him and deny that Shiro is gone. I think he’ll feel the most alone since the Garrison trio will at least have each other to lean on, and with Lance probably mad that Keith is leader, it will most likely polarise the group. I’ve got the Shallura bug bad, so I wanna say Allura won’t take it well either. Maybe Keith and Allura will comfort each other and bond over the man who left them to deal with shit they’re not ready for. Do you think that we will ever find out who all made up the original team of Voltron?

WE BETTER.

How do you think Lance will take it when he finds out his rival will pilot the Black Lion in Shiro (his hero)’s footsteps?

sEE ABOVE. He won’t take it well. If at all.

Do you think Hunk and Lance grew as characters in season two?

Hunk is more ready to be a hero than he was in S1, yes. Lance. I can’t tell TBH. What do you think of Pidge’s character development?

I applaud my child’s acceptance of her new space family and her role in the team. 

Will Rover ever come back? Or will Pidge ever have a new robot friend? I hope Rover does come back. Pidge lost Rover as she accepted her role in Voltron (an episode I did rewatch recently); I find it sad that she lost a friend as soon as she learnt to appreciate friendship and support.

Is Coran the gorgeous man?

yaaaas. (but I really dig side-shaved emo-teen Coran’s design)