#gotta get my parents to bring me places which means i cant just decide to go fuck about town for no reason

[dullahandyke]

God I gotttttta get back to college I just spent several minutes daydreaming about doing my own grocery shopping... like a month of summer break left aughhhhh

[blxetsi]

Can I get some Reiner content pls? Hcs with the kids, cooking, date nights, embarrassing moments, pets, anything!

tysm for requesting !

reiner braun dating headcanons (modern au)

college!reiner braun x gn!reader

warnings: nothing i think, lol meations of his weird parents 

- reiner would be SO NERVOUS around you when he realized he liked you

- definitely started out as friends to lovers, you knew each other through a mutual friend bertholdt, but really became friends when you shared a class one semester

- when he realized he liked you it was in the most mundane situation ever,,, you, reiner, annie, porco, and bertholdt had gotten together for a movie night, and he was literally just about to put his hand on ur shoulder to ask if you wanted a drink (he was gonna get one for himself) and his hand stopped mid air when he realized he had butterflies LMAOOO

- this mf would become sooooo on edge around you,, like you knowing he had a crush was the end of the world 🙄

- annie and bertholdt would talk to him about it (and by that i mean annie would call him a big baby while bertholdt nods along) and then he'd become more relaxed with you once more

- when you two started dating he became nervous ALL OVER again

- insecurities and doubts came seeping into his mind and he wouldnt help but be overbearing at times

- he just wanted to be a good bf 🥺 he doesnt want you to leave him 😭🤚

- you two talk about it one night and it helps calm his doubts

- thats also the first night you two slept in the same bed 🤩

- he was so blushy the next morning, he couldnt look at you without his face and ears becoming red

- is a total tiny spoon idc idc

- sometimes he babysits his cousin gabi when he goes home, so when he took you with him for the first time (it was christmas break) you got to meet her !!

- shes a hyper little thing but so sweet, and she practically DEMANDS that reiner let her paint his nails for him 😭🤚

- you also meet her friends too !! but she tells you that the blond boy falco is her BEST best friend, as opposed to her regular best friends

- you can tell reiner is on edge during family dinners, especially the one you guys had on christmas day, and when you two get to campus you ask him whats wrong

- he tells you that his relationship with his family is a bit strained, primarily his parents

- he loves them of course !! but sometimes they just make him feel,,, not good

- but he reassures you that its okay, and that hes glad they didnt start anything when you were there

- you dont believe its okay but you dont push him

- he brushes the tip of his nose a lot, especially when hes nervous

- its not him like,, picking it or anything he'll just rub the tip with the knuckles of his index finger, he looks rlly cute doing it

- also tries to get you to go to the gym with him, bertie, and annie

- if its something youre into then great !! he keeps inviting you, but if you arent into it he gets a little sad :(

- but its okay ! you try to see him after his workouts with water and something for him to eat

- this is what makes him bring up living together

- i mean, annie practically lives with him and bertie now, whats one more person ?

- and its better because you wont have to come all the way from your apartment to his just to wait for him,,, you can be at HOME and do stuff until they come back from the gym

- it takes a little bit of swaying, but then he brings up being able to spoon him EVERY NIGHT and youre sold 😐👍

- you dont want to ogle at your bf so much,, but seeing him carry boxes from the foyer of the apartment to his bedroom where youre unpacking things is a,,, sight to see

- you asked him to just keep holding the box he had in the doorway of his room while your eyes roamed his arms and chest,, specifically his biceps and pecs

- YOU GOTTA BIG TITTY BF 🥰‼️

- he just stands there like 🙁 until he finally says "y/n please my arms are getting tired just tell me where to put it" lol No ❤️

- after you move in with him and bertie, things get a bit more cramped, specifically in reiners room

- its nothing you two cant handle, just with your things there sometimes its hard to find things, or youre bumping into dressers and tables and beds

- and lets be honest reiners room isnt even big enough for REINER

- so after a year of enduring it, you two decide to get a place of your own !!

- you got two bedrooms so one you could turn into a shared office and the other you could make your bedroom, and this makes things WAYYYYY easier

- by the time you move in youre already so close to your two year anniversary

- you dont think anniversaries are that important so you guys just went out to see a movie last year, but this year ?? reiner has something PLANNED

- and u know this bc you mightve accidentally found his laptop still open in the office,,, with "anniversary plans" written out in a google doc,,, and reiner was in the bathroom and you were nosy,,,

- so you snooped and read it all 😐🙄

- when reiner brings up youre anniversary youre distracted so you say "babe ill do what you got planned dw"

- he just looks at you like "how did you know i had something planned 😃⁉️"

- ANYWAYS LOL

- after that awko taco moment you play it off like "oh i just assumed lol" AND HE BUYS IT !! AHAHAHAHHAHA

- you two go out dressed to the NINES 🤩✨ and you had this weird night on the town 😭😭

- you guys did that food trend on tiktok where you do rock paper scissors and the winner gets to choose drinks, food, dessert etc..

- then you took everything and had a little picnic in the park, and you watched the sunset together 🤩🤚

- then he took you to a fireworks show they had near downtown, and watching the colours mix with the stars in the sky was so beautiful

- it started raining after tho 😭😭😭 and you two had to run back in the rain to the car like it was a MOVIE

- it was an unconventional kind of anniversary date but it was so fun, and reiner was so glad you enjoyed it

- then he brought up what you two would do after college

- "so,, graduation is in a couple of months, and ive already got a job set. and i dont know about you but, im staying in the city after we graduate. i just wanted to know if youll be moving out or, going somewhere else..."

- your heart BREAKS bc youre so sad hes just assuming that youll leave him after graduation, WHICH YOU WONT DO

- you have a paid internship at a facility in the city, so you tell him exactly that and that youll stay with him if its what he wants

- you can tell hes more than relieved, and get so blushy when you kiss his wet face all over

- "reiner i love you."

- HE SHORT CIRCUITS. SWERVES ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING !

- but he tells you the exact same thing

- "y/n i love you too."

- and he really does

ive just realized this and all of my other dating hcs arent actually headcanons so much as ideas that i put in point form 😐🤚 gotta work on that 😁👍

anyways requests open hope u enjoyed

[doyumacy]

FALLOUT |LH| ONE

*gif not mine

TWO

SUMMARY: You, at such young age made your way in business becoming a successful one. With that a lot of jealousy and rivalry came. Your mother finally convinces you to hire a team of security just in case someone tried to hurt you. And that’s when Donghyuck becomes your personal bodyguard, following you everywhere you go. You don’t mind at all since you find him very entertaining and nice. What you don’t know is that he’s the one that has been hired to keep you close and kill you.

PAIRING: reader x bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: mentions of jaemin and taeyong. swearing, blood (i’ll let you know when there are parts with blood mentions), smut, violence, angst

WORD COUNT: 2,8K

7 am. Wake up, take a shower, have breakfast and rush to the office. That was your daily routine and you were used to it. But no that morning. You were getting ready to go to your interview with the TIME Magazine. They were working on an article that would be called “Women Under 30 Are Leading the Pack in Entrepreneurship and Innovation.”

4 years ago, you’d wake up around 9, get ready to go to class and have lunch with your friends, but how does time change, right? Now you were a CEO of your own company with no time for your friends or even yourself. It’s not like you hated it, you liked being a CEO and being recognised by your hard work. It made you proud and wanted to show people that if you really want something and if you work hard for it, you’ll get it.

At the main entrance, you were greeted by the staff and one of them guided you to the room where they interviewed you and took some pictures of you.

That wasn’t your first interview, but you couldn’t feel nervous because you wanted to say the right words to encourage other people.

...

“Lia, I will be back in ten minutes. Can you sort this papers out on my desk?“

“Okay, Boss.”

It was a beautiful sunny day and the office was busy as usual. You were reading the contract at the table trying to get some order into them when the door opened. Nobody just walked into your office without knocking, so of course it had to be…

“Hi mom...” you greeted her.

“Hi sweetheart,” she smirked at you. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” you nodded and placed the papers on the table, “what brings you here, mom?”

“I can’t visit my beautiful daughter?” She put her right hand on her chest.

You giggled. “Of course you can, but I’d love you to call me first.”

You stood and walked towards her, hugging her. “You want some coffee? Water?”

“I’m fine, darling. I just had brunch with a friend,” she smiled and sat in one of the chairs in front of your desk. “Speaking of which, she told me something that got me really upset at you.”

“Why?” You frowned and sat in front of her.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re getting death threats, (Y/N)?” She looked at you.

You sighed. “Because they don’t matter. You know I don’t pay attention to that. It’s pointless.”

“We’re not talking about hate comments, (Y/N). Someone is threatening you with killing you.”

“Mom, you don’t have to w-“

“Of course I can, and I will. That’s why I contacted an old friend who used to be the Prime Minister’s bodyguard. He’s gonna meet you tomorrow,” she informed you.

“Tomorrow I can’t, I have a meeting.”

“Then you better make some space or you’ll be seeing me here everyday,” your mom smiled. “This is serious. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. You’re my baby.”

“I can take care of myself, mom. Please, I don’t want a full team of bodyguards,” you sighed.

“You will only have 2 and you won’t even notice they’re there,” she said and placed a hand on yours. “Please.”

You stared at her for a couple of seconds and then sighed, nodding. “Okay, fine. But it’s temporary.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Later that day, after going home you went to the supermarket to get some groceries and went home. You loved cooking, but you weren’t exactly the tidiest when it came to prepare your delicious meals.

After you ate, you checked your email and realised that your mom’s friend had sent you a file with the two people that would be working with you. Somehow you expected an army of people and that annoyed you, but you thought you could with two people. You didn’t even bother to check the profiles since you knew what their work would be.

You closed your laptop and went to your bedroom. Sometimes you thought your life was boring because you barely talked to someone else. Your last relationship didn’t end well and you were still a little bit hesitant to know someone else. Or scared.

And friends? You didn’t have many, but Lena, Taeyong and Jaemin were always there for you. And so were you.

You knew Lena since you were a toddler, your mother was good friends with her parents and you two got along very well. You met Taeyong in high school when you were trying to find the science room and since he was a senior, he helped you. Everyone used to think Taeyong and you dated, but in fact, you never loved Taeyong that way. You saw him as your older brother and he as his younger sister. And last but not least, you met Jaemin through Taeyong.

At first both of you didn’t get along well since he was all an extrovert and didn’t quite understand you were a little introverted, but he with time understood and stopped forcing you. Then you became the crackheads of the group, always laughing and going out and sometimes getting drunk.

You loved college days.

And love? You met Jaehyun during your first year of college, he was in your economics class and you couldn’t help yourself falling for him. He was charming, funny and so handsome.

Jaehyun was your first everything: your first love, your first boyfriend, your first kiss and the first guy that broke your heart.

You two dated for almost 2 years, but ended when he told you he didn’t love you anymore and didn’t want to hurt you and left.

Months after that, you took the opportunity to go as an exchange student to Japan where you met Yuta. You were never a thing, but both of you had feelings for each other but never went official since you would stay there only for 6 months.

You came back to Korea and graduated, and had no time for love since you were too busy starting your business. But Yuta would come on business trips to Korea sometimes and meet you.

But the last time you saw him was a year ago.

The next morning, a tall man showed up to your office holding a black folder. Everything about him was intimidating and you knew he was your mom’s friend.

“Good morning, Miss (Y/L/N). I’m Kim Hyunwoo,” he extended his hand.

“Hi,” you greeted and you shook hands with him. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you. Please sit.”

“Thanks,” he said and sat in one of the black chairs in front of your desk. “I sent you an email yesterday, did you read it?”

“I saw it, but didn’t read it. Sorry,” you apologised.

“It’s okay, that's why I brought this,” he placed the black folder on the desk and tossed it to you. “These are the files of the people that will be working with you.”

“Why is it important to check them out? I mean, they’ll be around me 24/7.”

“Because I want you to know their abilities and their tasks.”

You sighed and grabbed the folder opening it. You saw the first man around his 30’s, no emotions showed in his face. Kang Sungho. According to his file he was specialised in driving and trained in evasive driving techniques, such as executing short-radius turns to change the direction of the vehicle, high-speed cornering, and so on.

You passed the next page and saw a picture of a man with tanned golden skin, brown hair and dark eyes. He looked intimidating. He was trained in pretty much everything, from every type of knife to every type of gun.

Impressive.

Suddenly, the door from your office opened and the air left your lungs momentarily when his eyes met yours, dark and calculating. You expected him to offer you a polite smile as most people do, but his face remained in a stern mask. You somehow prayed he wouldn’t be your bodyguard because the less thing you needed was a distraction.

“Miss (Y/L/N),” the voice of your Hyunwoo forced you to switch your gaze to him and you shoot him a questioning look. “This is Lee Donghyuck” the boy nodded slightly in your direction at the mention of his name, “he’s your new personal bodyguard.”

You couldn't help but let your eyebrows raise comically. The world somehow hated you.

“You would not even know I’m here, Miss,” Donghyuck said.

You nodded.

*

Donghyuck awoke to the steady patter of rain upon his window, droplets yet to scatter the nascent rays of the rising sun. He realised he had awoken up ten minutes before his set alarm, which made him grumble.

He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, took a cold shower and after that, Donghyuck put on a black pants and before putting the white shirt, he put on a bulletproof vest making him look thicker and then continued with a white interior t-shirt, a white shirt, put on his tie adjusting it and lastly, he slipped on the black jacket.

Donghyuck gave himself a quick look in the mirror and sighed. He placed his hands on the countertop and asked how did he end in that position?

Yes, he was an assassin.

No, he didn't kill women.

But the money he was offered to do so was such a big amount that was almost repulsive. And he needed the money.

Donghyuck had never pretended to be someone else before, he just showed up and took down his task and then left. Now he was stuck with some random woman and follow her until she was in love with him and kill her in the worst way.

What was with people these days? He didn't want to know.

Jeno was already awake and had made breakfast, “you gotta eat well today in case you die protecting your boss,“ he  joked and sat down in front of him.

Donghyuck and Jeno had known each other for many years and were roommates. There was kindness in his smile, a good man. He knew what ‘Haechan’ did for a living, but decided to ignore it since he rather thought his friend was also a good man.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “I cant believe I'm doing this.”

“You can't still say no, you know?” Jeno looked at him.

“I know, but I need the money,” Donghyuck said and had a sip of coffee, “I will retire after this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don't wanna do this anymore,” Donghyuck shrugged.

“Well, then get the job done and get those millions,” Jeno said and then shook his head, “that sounded awful. Ignore it.”

Donghyuck laughed. “Are you sure you don't wanna work with me?”

“One hundred percent.”

…

A perfectly collected black-haired woman, dressed in a skirt under her white knee and a pale pink blouse appeared in the room. "Good morning, you must be Lee Donghyuck, right?" She asked kindly.

"Yes," Donghyuck replied, "Hello, you are....?"

"I'm Yun Somin, Kim Hyunwoo personal assistant," she smiled nicely. “You’re the new bodyguard we hired a few days ago.”

"Nice to meet you,” Donghyuck expressed.

“Please, come with me so I can give you  your equipment,“ Somin said.

Donghyuck followed her to a room that was an office painted beige and champagne, and it had only one wall-sized window, which faced the buildings. On the dark brown desk sat a desktop computer, a notebook lying open, and a stack of papers sitting under a turtle-shaped paperweight and there was a swivel chair in the middle of the office. A bookshelf, bursting with books was behind the dark brown desk.

Somin opened a desk drawer and pulled out a black box that contained a small stainless steel knife, a Beretta Px4 Storm and finally a earphone for a walkie-talkie.

Donghyuck put the earphone on his ear and the walkie-talkie on the waist band. He put the gun away by placing it on the waist band as well and the knife inside the inner jacket pocket.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s codename is Sunflower. Whenever you’re public, that’s the name you’ll use,“ Somin informed.

Donghyuck nodded, “Sunflower. Got it.“

Somin opened the door for him and let him in. You were if anything was better looking than Donghyuck expected. Your face told of a leaned body beneath your wintry garb and your expression was serious but not unkind.

You were hot.

Fuck. Donghyuck thought. He was so screwed.

“You would not even know I’m here, Miss,” Donghyuck said.

You nodded and cleared your throat.  “Well, let's keep going. We have a long day coming,“You said, walking to the door.

Donghyuck walked behind you and raised his arm above his mouth and spoke into the mic, “Sunflower's going out.“

…

You were the smile, or at least that was what Donghyuck thought of you. Everything about you was a soft and understated joy as you greeted each person at every event. You really cared about the people and their interest and could see in your eyes your uprightness. People loved you and Donghyuck didn't quite understand why someone wanted you dead. Your kindness couldnt be the reason, could it?

“So, Donghyuck, what do you think?”

He turned back to Sungho. “She's different from every shark out there. Yeah, I’ll bet they’re lining up to off her.”

“Well, someone’s been sending some pretty disturbing emails. The NIS can’t pin the guy down.”

“They’ll find them.“ Donghyuck addressed.

The eventful day was over. You all spent the day going to different meetings with several people. You were exhausted but you were happy to see your friend Taeyong, after not seeing him for almost two months.

The black car stopped at a red light and you took the opportunity to take out your phone and reply to some text messages. You realised Donghyuck was looking at you and Donghyuck quickly looked straight ahead. “So, Donghyuck? You have been doing this for so long?”

“Not really, ma’am,“ he responded.

You considered him. He didn’t look like his concept of a bodyguard, big and beefy. He wasn't that tall. Slimy built, with a very attractive face, enigmatic yet intelligent dark eyes and dark hair. “And what did you do before?”

“I… used to train some people at a boxing gym,“ Donghycuk lied.

“Cool,” you smiled. “Maybe you could show me some movements.”

You quickly regretted saying that because of how red your cheeks got. Donghyuck smirked without looking at you.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Donghyuck got out of the car and opened the door for you and you entered the restaurant with him following you.

"Sunflower's in," He spoke into the mic.

A young woman, with loose hair dressed all in black, took you to the restaurant's private lounge, where Taeyong was already waiting for you.

You hugged your friend and smiled, "The Bahamas suited you."

"Thank you, Woman-Under-30-Leading-the-Pack-in-Entrepreneurship-and-Innovation" Taeyong beamed and looked at Donghyuck, who stood with his back to you right at the glass door, "who is he?"

You looked at Donghyuck  and spoke as you sat down, "It's my personal bodyguard."

“Why do you have a personal bodyguard? Did something happen? ” He asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, everything’s fine," you calmed him down and grabbed the menu, opening it.

He sat in front of you and still looked worried, “how do you want me to be calm? Something is going on and you don't want to tell me. "

You smirked a little and shook your head, "really, Taeyong, everything is under control. There’s nothing to be concerned about.“

Taeyong sighed and nodded, "Okay, I will believe in your words."

You smiled satisfied and began to read the menu. Taeyong did the same. Jaemin stood in front of the door of the restaurant's private lounge but Donghyuck prevented him from entering.

"Identify," Donghyuck demanded, looking at him.

"Na Jaemin, owner and chef of this restaurant," he replied, frowning, "who are you?"

Before Donghyuck responded, you opened the door and looked at Jaemin, “I'm sorry, he's my new bodyguard. Lee Donghyuck, all right, he will have dinner with us too. "

Donghyuck nodded, “understood. Enjoy your meal, guys. "

“Thank you,“ Taeyong  responded as Donghyuck closed the door.

“I can't believe the two most influential people of Korea are here in my restaurant,“ Jaemin joked as he sat.

You chuckled, “let’s see if it’s as good as people say.“

…

Softly splashing water droplets hit the car windows as Sungho drove onwards. You watched the raindrops race down to the windows. You had been with Taeyong and Jaemin for almost three hours, and now you were on your way to your house.

"Sorry for staying there for a long time, you haven't even eaten," you  apologised.

“It’s fine, ma’am. It's our job,“ Donghyuck replied.

“You can call me (Y/N). We’re almost the same age,“ You said

“Even so, you’re my boss. It’s not right,“ he responded.

You chuckled and looked at him in the rearview mirror, "Well, then as your boss, I order it to you."

Donghyuck smiled and you noticed it, “I'll try it.“

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Intern | Part Four

Summary: You move to New York to focus on your art but end up working as an intern at Stark Enterprises

Chapter Summary: Tony gives you a gift and you help Peter get a date

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader, Peter Parker x Reader (friendship)

Word Count: 2461

A/N: for the purposes of this story Stark Enterprise is set out like an office building in New York and the story does not follow the same timeline as the movies. Reader does not know Peter is SpiderMan. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Three | Masterlist

- - - - -

Over the next week your days at work are mostly taken up with organising the upcoming charity fundraiser ball Tony was hosting. Tony had also asked you to paint something that could be sold in the auction during the ball. You were glad to be so busy, keeping your mind active was the only thing stopping you spiralling. Even though Tony promised you would be safe you still couldn’t help but be anxious after your meeting with the Professor in the coffee shop. Something about the way he looked at you, and the way he said ‘see you again’, it just didn’t sit right with you and you had started to have nightmares that kept you awake at night. But you couldn’t let Tony know anything was wrong. You didn’t want him to think you couldnt handle your new job, or that you didn’t trust his promise. 

Tony hadn’t sent you back to the cafe since, instead Happy was the one collecting your coffee orders. Happy had also been given the task of driving you around everywhere since that day too. 

The day before the fundraiser you get ready for work and mentally plan the day ahead. You were tired from yet another restless night but you knew you still had a lot to get prepared before tomorrow. You're too busy to be tired. 

You leave the house and get into the car that is waiting outside for you. 

“morning Happy” you say strapping your seatbelt across you. 

“good morning miss Y/L/N” he looks at you through the mirror “did you have a late one last night?”

“huh?” You ask, meeting his gaze in the mirror. 

“you look a bit tired” 

“gee thanks” you say sarcastically “I just, you know.. was awake a lot thinking about everything thats left to do for this fundraiser. Its hard to switch off from work mode sometimes”

“hmm” he replies, not entirely convinced by your words. He turns his attention to the road and starts driving. 

You pull up outside the Stark Enterprise building and Happy goes to get out of the car to walk you in. 

“oh, Happy you don't really need to escort me in do you? The doors only a few feet away, I’m sure I can manage on my own” you look at him pleadingly and he looks conflicted. 

As much as you appreciated Tony putting these safety measures in place so you felt safer, you found it embarrassing that Happy had to walk with you from the car to the door. Like a child being walked into school by a parent. 

After a moment he looks turns to look at you. 

“Fine. But I’ll be watching from here and if Tony asks, I walked you in. Deal?”

“Deal” you nod “thanks Happy!” you say jumping out the car quickly before he can change his mind. 

Happy watches you walk into the building before driving off to park the car. 

Once inside the building you head towards the stairs to get up to the office but get a text through from Tony. 

“meet me in the lab -T” 

You’ve never actually been to the lab since you started working for the company so you were kinda excited to finally get to see it. You make your way down the stairs to the basement where the lab is located and find Tony working at one of the tables. 

“morning Tony” you say cheerfully as you walk up to see what he’s doing. He spins around and gives you a big smile.

“ah y/n perfect timing as always, I have something for you. Hold out your hand” 

You look at him confused smile but do what he says. He takes your hand and flips it around so its facing down, then places a watch on your wrist and tightens the strap. You look at it with fascination. 

“so, it’s your standard smart watch. Kinda like an apple watch but better because, you know, I made it” 

“of course” you giggle at him.

“you’ll receive messages, calls, appointment reminders etc, all the boring stuff, but the most important thing is this” he gently pulls your wrist towards him slightly so he can operate the watch. He swipes the screen and points to a button that looks like a little alarm bell “this button is here for you to use if you're ever in a situation where you don't feel safe” 

You look up at him and he meets your eyes. 

“now this isn’t me saying that you're going to be in any unsafe situations and hopefully you’ll never need to use this button but it’s there, just in case. Give it a go.”

You press the little button and instantly his watch on his wrist lights up and makes a sound. He presses something on his watch screen and the noise stops. 

“you press that and my watch alerts me that you need help and gives me your location. I will be with you in a mater of minutes. No matter where I am, what time of day.. I will drop everything and get straight to you.”

You feel your eyes well up. You're so touched by the effort Tony has put into making you feel safe and part of you does already feel calmer. 

“thank you” you whisper and he notices the tears in your eyes. He pulls you in to a tight comforting hug. The two of you stay stood in the middle of the empty lab for a few moments your arms wrapped around each other. The calm before the storm.

You’re interrupted suddenly by the sound of Happy running through the door.

“my watch alarm just went off…” he says frantically and out of breath before noticing you two. You pull away from each other and look at him in surprise. You feel like your cheeks are burning red from blushing “…but I can see everyones fine in here so, I’ll just… uh.. yeah” he turns and quickly walks out the room. You cant help but feel slightly embarrassed but Tony doesn’t seem bothered. He turns to you and smiles.

“the watch will also alert Happy-“

“yeah I guessed that” you laugh. 

— — — — 

The rest of the morning is spent preparing the last few things for tomorrow’s fundraiser. On your lunch break you go down to meet Peter and the two of you walk to the coffee shop together. It felt strange to be able to actually leave the building without Happy escorting you but felt safe knowing that with your new watch you could have him or Tony with you in minutes. Plus you had Peter with you, not that you thought he would be much use in a fight. You reached the coffee shop and you notice Peter stop to check his reflection in the door window before entering. He definitely liked MJ. 

“y/n! You're alive!” MJ shouts happily as you walk through the door. 

“Can’t get rid of me that easy” you reply laughing as you walk up to the counter.

“Does this mean you’ll be back on coffee duty again instead of the grumpy guy with the ironic name?” She asks

“Who? Happy?” Peter asks and MJ turns her attention to him

“Oh hey Parker, didn’t see you there” she smiles at him which makes Peter blush and he starts stuttering. You decide to put him out of his misery and interrupt him to order your lunch. You pay and MJ says she’ll bring it over to you when it’s ready. You and Peter take a seat at a table over by the window. 

“Thanks for paying for lunch” Peter says, glancing over at MJ.

“No problem. So, do you know who you’re bringing as your plus one to the fundraiser tomorrow?” You ask and Peter looks at you embarrassed. 

“I don’t know, probably no one” he shrugs 

“What? No! Come one, you gotta bring someone”

“Well I thought about asking Ned but then I thought he’s just gonna geek out as soon as he sees Mr Stark”

“Hmm, yeah maybe not Ned” you shake your head 

“And I’d ask Aunt May but I don’t really want to spend the evening watching her and Mr Stark gross flirting”

Peter pulls a face and you laugh, hiding the fact that you also would not like to see that. Thinking about it made you feel weirdly jealous. Were you getting feelings for Tony?

You notice Peter look over to the counter again. You know who he really wants to ask, he just needs a push. 

“Why don’t you ask MJ?” You say casually and Peter looks at you, eyes wide. 

“Why would you say that?” He gets flustered. 

“Dude, it’s so obvious you like her. And I think she likes you back...” You pause before making quote marks with your hands “Parker” 

“That’s my name!” He protests.

“That’s her giving you a nickname, trust me. Look, just ask her! What have you got to lose?” You say as MJ heads towards you carrying a tray of food “now is your chance”

Peter looks like a deer in headlights as MJ places the food down on your table and you thank her. She smiles and looks to Peter who is just staring at her with wide eyes. 

“Uh, is he okay?” She asks you

“He’s fine. He’s just thinking about the fact that he’s got no one to take to this fundraiser party thing we’ve got after work tomorrow..” you say looking at Peter, trying to give him an opportunity but he remains silent. 

“Oh a party? Sounds cool” she says. Peter still says nothing. 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a good night. Isn’t it Peter?” You’re desperately trying to get him to join in the conversation but he’s frozen. You all hang around in silence for a moment before MJ breaks it. 

“Well I’ll leave you to your lunch. Hope you find someone Parker” she says, turning around and walking back toward the counter. You kick Peter under the table and suddenly he snaps out of it. 

“MJ?” He surprises you both and MJ spins around to look at him. “Would you like to come with me?” He finally asks and you hold your breath. 

“Okay cool, yeah. It’s a date” she replies and walks back to the counter to serve the customer waiting. You let out a sigh of relief and Peter looks at you with a massive grin. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?” 

— — — — 

When you get back to the office after lunch you feel happier than you’ve felt for days. Peter had not stopped smiling the whole way through lunch and on the walk back to the building he talked constantly about MJ. You felt weirdly proud of him for finally asking her out. Tony noticed you smiling to yourself as you replayed the moment back in your head. 

“What’s got you so happy?” He asks, snapping you out of your daydream. 

“Peter finally asked out the girl from the coffee shop who he’s had a crush on for ages. He bringing her to the fundraiser tomorrow.” You say smiling and Tony smiles too. 

“Good kid.” He smiles. You could tell he was also proud of him. “So about the fundraiser, you’ve done the painting right?”

“Yup all ready. Do you want to see a photo of it to check its okay?” You reach into your pocket for your phone.

“No. I’ll wait for the big reveal tomorrow. I trust your talent.”

You smile, you take it as a massive compliment that he trusts you to have painted something worthy of being sold in the charity auction. 

“Have you got an outfit yet?” He asks, and you look at him confused. You didn’t think Tony would be that interested in your fashion choices. 

“No” you shrugged “I’m sure I’ve got a dress somewhere in my closet I can wear. I’ll figure it out tomorrow” you say casually as you continue with your paperwork.

To be honest you’d been so caught up with planning you’d completely forgotten you would have to dress up for this event. Tony picks up his phone and sends a text. A few minutes later Happy appears at the door.

“Happy could you please drive miss Y/L/N to mall and escort her around the shops until she’s found an outfit for tomorrow. When she’s done drive her home. Thank you”

“Tony! I don’t have time for shopping right now-“

“Don’t argue, just go.” He says standing up and walking over to you. “You have worked so hard arranging all this, you deserve an afternoon off to treat yourself. Use the company card, have fun.” He takes your hand and walks you over to the door, pushing you through it gently. You turn back to argue with him but he just smiles and shuts the door. You laugh to yourself in disbelief and follow Happy. 

The following evening you’re all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for Happy to pick you up to drive you to the fundraiser. The dress you bought made you feel amazing. It was an elegant floor length black gown which hugged your figure in all the right places. The back was cut out in a triangle down to the base your spine and the fabric had a slight sparkle to it which caught the light beautifully. You kept your hair and make up simple, choosing to keep your curled hair loose and applying simple flick eyeliner and a deep red lipstick. There was a knock at the door and you took one last look in the mirror before opening it. You were surprised at who you stood standing the other side looking very nice in his tuxedo. 

“Tony?” 

He looks at you in awe and let’s out a small breathless wow before catching his breath “you look... beautiful” he smiles

“Thanks” you say shyly, “I wasn’t expecting to see you yet, I thought we would be meeting each other there?”

“When Peter finally asked out his girl, it got me thinking...” he pauses “will you be my date?” he asks and you look at him shocked “You don’t have to obviously, if it would make you feel uncomfortable or-“

“No” you interrupt “I mean yes. I mean… I’d love to.” You smile and a look of relief flashes on his face before he smiles back at you, offering his arm for you to hold. 

You shut your front door, link you arm around his arm and walk with him to the car where Happy is waiting. On the journey to the ball you find yourself smiling as you thought about the night ahead. 

But you had no idea just how much this night would change your life. 

Forever. 

Part Five

Taglist: @brownbuble​, @star-trek-is-my-lifesource​

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 13

Chapter title:  A Spooky First

A/n:  Oh look! I'm not dead! And thank god that uh I planned this to come out on Halloween! I've never been so happy! In other news, I LOVE PATTON SANDERS AND THERE IS NOTHING I WOULDNT DO FOR HIM. Also, Character asks are always open and for people asking yes you can do art for this (I've gotten some asks, and IM HONORED SO IF YOU WANT OH MY PLEASE DO) Don't forget to leave me some comments!! They make my day!! And Happy Halloween!! 

First | Previous | Next

words: 4300

summary: After Romans unfortunate incident, the gang still has to prepare for Halloween

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: swearing, blood, hospital, passing out/fainting, poison mention

Ao3 Link  

“Excuse me, would you like some Xanax? Because you are freaking out and it is freaking me out and we are all freaking the fuck out” Virgil claps, Logan turns to him huffing annoyed.

“Language!” Patton exclaims softly, they face him now the same expression plastering their face.

“Patton!” They groan in unison, he shrinks away, his eyes darting towards Romans empty bed.

“Sorry” He mumbles. He makes his way carefully towards the bed, sitting on the remains. He can hear the pair arguing behind him.

“You're telling me? To not freak out? That's like your brand!” Logan retorts, Patton clutches the bed knowing that that will only spark more of a debate. One Patton would rather not be apart of. “I'm mister can't keep my pants on and freaks out over every little thing” Logan mocks, the lawyer had never seemed so childish

“My brand? Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not ‘mister cold and frozen twenty-four-seven!’” Virgil responds, Logan scoffs. Patton shuts his eyes, feeling like a child again, except he can't escape the arguing parents, he has to get them under control. “No wonder Patton doesn't like you!” Welp there it is, Patton stands now. Now Virgil knew that wasn't true, but it sure would hurt, and that was his only aim.

“Oh I'm sorry, ‘mister oblivious towards Romans feelings’” Logan rushes, praying Patton had not heard the last part. Luckily, Logan had the same agenda, they were upset. Although by the look on Virgil's face, it didn't matter, they had really dug deep.

“Enough! Both of you!” Patton intervenes, quite angrily forcing himself between the pair. He faces Virgil first “You, will apologize to Logan about those awful things. And you will calm down, we are all very worried ok? Roman is our friend and the last thing we need to do right now is argue, understood?” He wiggles his finger in Virgil's face, the frozen detective nods.

“Yes Patton” he whispers, a little too afraid to speak. Now it's Logan's turn, Patton spins on his heel, Logan prepares himself.

“And you will apologize to Virgil, you were just as mean! He is allowed to be worried! Our friend is lying in an operation room alone, and we have no idea what's going on!” Patton takes a deep breath, steadying himself “Got it?” He questions sternly, feeling trapped between his own kids. Except they were grown adults.

“Got it” Logan mumbles shamefully. He had to admit, Patton was very good at conflict resolving. And a little scary. They bow their heads, preferring not to meet the lawyer's eyes, waiting for something to shift.

“Good, I'm going to go and get some coffee, you two” he glares “Are going to fix this and be nice to one another, you're friends, don't forget that” He reminds, Logan and Virgil glance up, locking regretful eyes. “And Lo?” Logan snaps his head towards him “I like you very much” He confirms before promptly leaving the room. Virgil notices the blush immediately, he wonders if Patton knows how much that meant.

“I am...sorry Virgil” Logan begins, going first to rid himself of the jumbled ideas in his mind. “You have every right to be worried about Roman, I shouldn't have snapped” He admits, now feeling the effects of his previous words. “And I shouldn't have said...that about your..brand” He quotes, using his fingers to mimic an air quote. Virgil holds his breath, exhaling only when Logan's shoulders fall.

“Guess it's my turn” he jokes, chuckling dryly. Logan nods, avoiding anything. “I'm sorry dude, you're just worried and I think that just freaked me out a bit cause...you're never worried” Virgil rubs his arm, squeezing it to make sure he's actually there. “And it's fine, my anxiety is usually better than…” He shrugs knowingly, Logan purses his lips.

“You have been doing better lately” Logan notes, recalling the techniques Virgil had utilized.

“I have yeah thanks” He smiles, the pace picks up, there's just one thing neither want to address. A word spoken makes it real. “Ok I'm just going to say it, I'm so sorry about what I said...about you being...and Patton and…” he's rambling now, apologies are never easy. Logan winces, Patton's face standing in the doorway, promising, assuring that he likes Logan. As if the lawyer is so desperate for confirmation. “You're not-”

“Let's not do this, shall we?” Logan interjects. His face reserved once more, Virgil curses himself, so close. “I apologize, and you apologize and that is that” He finalizes, Virgil decides not to push, too exhausted for round two. Thankfully the door opens once more, introducing a new topic. Patton returns, smiling and bright as ever, instantly Logan softens, his face morphs ever so slightly. Virgil wishes he could put Patton's energy, his essence in a bottle or something and just bring it out whenever Logan was tense, annoyed or… just needed some light.

“All happy in here?” He asks cautiously, handing the pair coffee. They share one last look before agreeing to nod, saving themselves and the hopeful figure more distress.  “Yay,” He celebrates weakly, the matter of Roman still fresh in the air. As if on cue, the door slides open once more, a familiar doctor enters. You can hear the trio seize their breath.

“Judge Reial did very well during surgery” He assures, the collective sigh of relief quite audible. “They are finishing him up before rolling him back here…” Patton smiles, the doctor coughs unsure “However, I would like to...discuss what we found...during his operation” He explains, Virgil's internal alert system goes off, his eyes shift.

“What? What did you find?” He requests, wanting the information more than anything.

“I cant...well...I have to wait for the police” Patton's heart drops, tightening his grip around the coffee cup. Virgil wastes no time pulling out his badge, shoving it in the fearful doctors' face.

“No waiting required, what did you find?” He tries again, the doctors swallows, leading Virgil out of earshot.

“We believe…” He glances back at the worried lawyers “That Judge Reial was...poisoned”

~~~

“Alright kiddos, let's just settle in” Emile advises, herding the trio into the cushioned seats of a nearby diner. Remus hopped in first bouncing until he found the perfect spot, Damian followed reluctantly taking a seat next to his new friend, Valerie sat politely at the end next to Emile.

“Mister pickle can I have some fries?” Remus wonders, showing the item on the menu to Emile, his small fingers tremble as he tries to sustain the giant menu.

“Of course, but you have to get something of sustenance as well” He informs, Remus cocks his head, his little brows raise in confusion. Emile smiles weary, not sure how to continue.

“Little kids Em, you gotta use your little kid speak” Remy teases as he joins the group, kissing Emile on the head before sitting opposite him, next to Damian. The little boy waves politely receiving a ruffle of the hair in return. “You gotta eat something else with your fries little man” Remus sighs, hearing this before, Emile averts his eyes.

“Can I have chicken nuggets and fries please?” He decides, growing impatient already. Remy considers it, stroking his chin.

“Only, if you get some carrots” He offers “Take it or leave, final offer” Remus folds his arms, pouting. “Deal or no deal mister Hart?” It almost felt odd addressing anyone other than Patton as that.

“Deal!” Remus exclaims, shaking Remy's hand quite ferociously. “What are you getting?” He turns, asking Damian who is still perusing the menu.

“Mmm I don't know, Papi usually helps me” He comments, Emile pulls out his phone in remembrance, shooting a quick text to Virgil. The kids continue their conversation, finishing their orders and moving onto their colors. Damian and Remus collaborate on a drawing, using purple, yellow, green and blue to create a wonderful world. Valerie sits pleasantly chatting away with Emile, talking about her day. Remy watches, the kids so...oblivious to everything. And Emile so...happy and relaxed. Remy had to wonder what was really going on in his partner's head, he hates to admit it but sometimes it was hard to read Emile.

“Rem? Everything alright?” Emile cautions from across the table, Valerie joins her brother in his activity adding spruce of red to the mix.

“Yeah...I just-”

“Hold on, sorry, I'm getting a text” Emile checks his phone, his eyes tracing the text, Remy watches the reflection in his glasses. “Oh!” He chimes, he looks to the kids who turn their focus towards the bright figure. The twins find it comforting how much he reminds them of their dad. “We gotta eat quick! Your dad is expecting you home soon!” He tells them, Damian pouts returning to his drawing.

What about my dad?

~~~

“I feel bad for leaving Roman” Patton laments, returning home Logan by his side. He helps his fellow lawyer hang up his coat, before inviting him towards the living room. “Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?” Patton offers from the kitchen through the window that connects to the living room.

“Tea is adequate” He responds examining the newly hung decorations, little pumpkins strewn around each carved. It was quite easy to tell which ones Patton made and which ones the twins did. Logan finishes his observations, sitting at the kitchen counter watching Patton work.

“One cup of tea!” He exclaims, placing the beverage in front of Logan. The lawyer smiles at Patton, thanking him with a nod. “Do you think V is alright?” Patton fiddles with the sugar packets laying in front of him, trying hard not to reach for his phone. He hadn't wanted to leave Virgil and Roman but it was Halloween night. Logan watches carefully,

“I think…” He starts slowly, taking Patton's hand so he stops. “That Virgil will be ok and that you…” Patton looks up, meeting Logans' eyes, only now can they see just how tired they are. “Need to focus on tonight, its good for you, a distraction. Plus, Roman needs his rest and you and Virgil need a break” Logan explains, Patton nods thankfully. The door creaks open, two scurrying feet rush in followed by a disheveled Emile.

“Papa!” “Dada!” The twins shout in unison running directly into their father's arms. Patton was noticeably happier as they made contact. They instantly began rambling about their day as Patton leads them to their room to change, Emile takes a moment to breathe.

“Heya Logan!” He greets finally noticing the lawyer, Logan turns his focus from the spot where Patton had left towards Emile. “Whatcha doing here?” He asks serving himself some tea, Logan had to wonder how many times everyone had been to Patton's house to feel comfortable enough to do as they please.

“I was invited for Halloween” he responds, Emile's smile glistens. “Where is detective Nyx, might I ask?” he references the empty spot next to the doctor.

“He’s dropping off Damian at Virgil's house” Emile clarifies, Logan nods finishing his drink. He makes his way around counter washing his dish in the sink, Patton returns a moment later.

“Well, they are off getting ready! They are much too excited for this” Patton proclaims, Emile giggles delighted for the twins. “Thank you so much for dropping them off” Patton turns to Emile, the doctor waves it off grateful to spend time with the twins.

“It was nothing, you know how much I love them” Emile admits, Patton laughs softly giving his friend a farewell hug before watching him depart. The twins emerge after a moment, Valerie first spinning around as she shows off her outfit. Logan has to commend Patton, his handiwork on the clothes was astounding. She wore a poofy top with a red sash around her, slowly going out into a short skirt with leggings. She had a fake and very dull sword by her side, and a tiara lay perfectly on her head.

“Beware! It is I! Princess warrior Valerie!” She announces swinging her sword around. Patton claps, laughing delightfully. She jumps into his arms, hugging his neck. “Thank you, papa!” She says nuzzling herself comfortably into his arms.

“Of course angel face,” Patton says kissing her on the forehead before releasing her to play. She takes a swing at Logan, he tilts his head confused but understands after a while ‘falling’ off his chair. Valerie giggles, covering her mouth as she does so. Patton sighs content, shooting a grateful glance towards the lawyer, hoping the dim lights covered his blush. Luckily he wouldn't have to know seeing as Remus joins the group soon after.

“Behold!” He pauses turning to Logan “Is that the right word?” He wonders, Logan nods proudly that Remus even listened to the man's ramblings sometimes. He resumes his position showing off his own royal outfit. The green was prominent, meshing beautifully with the dark black. As opposed to Valerie's outfit, he was messier and fluffier. He waddled around the room, showing off his outfit. Quickly tackled by his sister as the pair engage in a mock fight, careful with one another.

“Kiddos!” Patton stops them checking the time. “Ready to go?” He asks, the twins share a glance before turning back to their father and nodding ecstatically. Patton chuckles turning to the table where he left a witch hut, putting it on carefully. Logan genuinely thought that Patton couldn't get any…

“Cuter! I'm cuter!” Remus claims, he pudges his face, pursing his lips “Look!” Patton sweeps the boy off his feet, placing him comfortably in his arms.

“You're both adorable” He reassures, Remus grins holding his trick-or-treating bag steadily. Logan takes this as his cue to collect Valerie, she wastes no time jumping into his arms, causing an ‘umph’ to escape him.

“I...concur” Logan adds as Valerie stares at him with nothing but joy. They were really cute, Logan wasn't one to deny that.

“Remember we’re going to go for a little bit and then meet up with Virgil and Damian, go with them for a little while and then come home and-” The twins are ready. Disappointment should not have been what Logan felt at the mention of meeting up with Virgil.

“Movies!” Remus exclaims, squirming in his dad's arms.

“Candy!” Valerie adds, Logan chuckles at their antics. Patton nods, he leaves a bowl of candy outside with a neatly handwritten sign with the message ‘Take two! From me to you!’, he leaves the string lights on and locks the door.

“Alright, here we go” He smiles, the bustling street full of kids chattering excitedly to collect candy. Logan has to wonder what is so enticing about walking around for hours, on foot, bothering the neighbors for an unhealthy amount of sugar.

“Down! Down!” The twins chant wanting to be one with the others, Patton sighs looking around before hesitantly setting Remus down keeping a delicate grasp on his small hand. Logan follows suit holding on to Valerie's hand for safety. The twins jump and bounce around as they walk, finally deciding on a house. Remus, with a lift from Patton, rings the doorbell. They wait practically vibrating as the owner comes to the door.

“Trick or treat!” They exclaim together, holding out their custom made bags, as the door swings open. Logan and Patton smile politely at the woman as she fills up the bag, complimenting their outfits and wishing them well on their journey. The rest of the night goes similarly, the twins go from house to house filling up on candy. Slowly the quartet falls into a routine, the kids are allowed to wander freely as long as they don't go too far and Logan gets a moment to breathe.

“Having fun?” Patton inquires, his eyes fixated on the skipping twins who sing a sweet tune ahead of them. Logan sighs, the night was cool but not too bad. Patton, with the addition of his witch hat, was wrapped up cozily in a grey coat. Logan wore a darker coat, longer as well.

“I am having an enjoyable time Patton” He assures, it's quite obvious to tell Pattons nervous. But logan wasn't lying, sure there were moments where he felt uneasy or out of his comfort zone but it was enjoyable. Not having to think about the case or murders. He wonders if Patton knows how amazing it is he gets to experience this, Logan himself never got to do Halloween but this was the twins first time. Something they would remember forever and Logan got to be apart of that.

“That's good, I'm glad you're here” He admits, Logan's face feels hot almost immediately. Patton releases a quick, shaky breath, rubbing his shoulders in a fast motion. “I hope they are bundled up enough, its really quite cold” He expresses, the twins seem fine. With the amount of clothes, Patton made sure they wore, and the amount of heat they circulate by running around proves that. He blows warm air into his hands, wishing he had brought gloves.

“Here,” Logan says taking Patton's arm and linking it with his. It could be debated whether it was for more...self-indulgent reasons but Logan's body heat (As proven by research, he swears) would transfer towards Patton. He expects some kind of retaliation or resistance but Patton adjusts comfortably. Neither could tell whether the redness present on their face was due to the weather....or… ”Better?” Logan asks distracting himself from his thoughts.

“Better” Patton clutches tighter, yawning as they continue.

~~~

“Dee? I'm home!” Virgil calls out setting his things down. A moment later two figures appear, Damian, all dressed up in his wizard cloak and hat, waving around a little wand. Remy appearing behind him. “Well look at you!” Virgil admires kneeling down as his son comes pummeling towards him, wrapping his arms around his dad's neck and hugging him.

“I'm ready! I'm ready!” He dances around, Remy chuckles watching him go.

“Alright alright, how was your day?” He asks taking a coat off the rack. Remy sits at the table, pulling out his phone, no doubt sending a text to Emile.

“I had so much fun! Papi, I made a friend! And then we went out to eat! And then we came here! And I played with goo!” Damian explains, Virgil has to wonder if he already has sugar in him, the boy was never this...hyper.

“You made a friend? That's so good, I'm very proud of you” He encourages grabbing Damian's treat bag, his squiggly name inscribed under the inside flap should it ever get lost. Damian nods, trying his best to drag Virgil to the door, revving to go. “Hold on” Virgil laughs, he walks over to Remy. “Thank you so much for dropping him off” He acknowledges, Remy shakes his head waving it off

“Dude anytime, as much as I would love to stick around I gotta go, Emile and I have plans” He smiles coyly, Virgil swats his arm frowning. “Not that you weirdo, I mean actual plans” He corrects, Virgil sighs. “See ya” He dismisses himself, hugging Damian goodbye as he goes.

“Okey! Time to go” Damian decides, Virgil shakes his head chuckling, no point in delaying. He shuts the house down, putting a bowl outside with candy before starting on the street, a very tugging Damian in his hand.

“Where to first?” He asks his son, Damian points forward with no specific target in mind. Virgil shrugs and follows his son to the first house. Damian had done this last year and considered himself an expert, bouncing from house to house, until finally, they were to meet up with the others.

“Papi...carry” Damian requests, his small hands grabbing towards his dad. Virgil smiles sweetly picking him up, they walk slowly back towards the meeting spot. Virgil would have been worried about missing them but the sounds of shrieking were a pretty good clue. Emerging from a darker street Virgil walks up to them.

“Hey” He greets, Patton swivels around taking Logan with him, as Patton unlinks himself to say hello to Damian, Virgil gives Logan some much-deserved shift eyes. Receiving a glare in return. “How's the night going?” He asks handing Damian to Patton, the little boy seemingly found some extra energy. The twins join the group hugging Virgil's legs as hello, he ruffles their hair, picking up Valerie who seems more adamant to say hello.

“Good! The neighborhood is really bustling tonight” Patton replies, allowing Damian to fiddle with his glasses. Remus pouts feeling a little too short, Patton nudges Logan hopeful. Logan nods offering his own arms to Remus whos mood improves as he takes his place in Logan's grasp. Following Damian's example, he removes Logan's glasses playing with them.

“Look! I look like uncle Patton!” Damian shows, the glasses practically falling off his face. Remus giggles placing Logan's own specs on his face, Logan isn't sure whether his heart can take anymore, or if he's upset.

“I look like LoLo!” Remus decides, it's safe to say, Virgil and Patton couldn't contain their laughter. More than embarrassed, Logan takes his glasses back, desiring to see once more. Damian, bless his little hands, tries his best to place pattons glasses back on the lawyer's face, succeeding only slightly. He fixes them, smiling tightly at the little boy.

“Alright, where to next?” Patton queries. Virgil turns his focus from playing with Valerie towards Patton.

“I don't know, why don't we ask LoLo?” Virgil teases, Logan groans knowing he won't be living that down.

“I'm going home if you continue with your mockery” Logan informs. Patton smiles sweetly watching the pair. Virgil and Logan continue their exchange walking ahead, Patton follows with a sleepy Damian in hand. He releases a breath, he had tried so hard but he missed Roman. He missed the way he entertained the kids, he missed his smile, his booming voice, he missed his friend. He catches up taking his place next to Logan, his energy dulls now, he's exhausted and it finally caught up to him.

“How about a few more houses? And then we settle in for the night?” Virgil proposes, Patton yawns nodding lazily. The kids, as much as they want to have the energy to continue, enjoy the prospect of cuddling on the couch. Virgil examines the trio before laughing his words “Or maybe we just head home” He decides. And so they did, returning to Patton's home after a while. Logan, Virgil, and Patton set the now napping kids on the couch, placing a blanket over them. Patton removes the now empty candy bowl, locking the house as he returns.

“Guess they tired themselves out” Patton comments, Virgil nods stroking Damian's head from behind the couch. Logan sits on the other side, he's not sure how it happened but Remus and Valerie had found their place huddled up with Logan and he was not going to move and risk them waking up. Patton finishes cleaning up, sorting the candies into respective jars labeled for each kid. Once finished, he joins the other two in the living room, stopping himself at the sight of Logan adjusting the blanket so it fits atop both twins. He goes over leaning slightly. “You don't have to do that” He whispers, Logan shakes his head softly.

“It's alright, wouldn't want to wake them up” He lies, honestly he is quite comfortable and the image laid out in front of him is not a sore sight. Patton fights the urge to squeal and hug Logan, instead he nods making his way towards Virgil.

“Hey” Virgil greets, his voice low as he watches Damian's little breaths, his chest puffing in and out as he sleeps.

“You wanna spend the night here? I wouldn't want you to have to drive home at this hour” Patton offers, Virgil ponders for a moment, his own anxieties of intruding overlooked by pure exhaustion.

“Yeah but only if you're totally ok with it” Virgil ensures, Patton nods immediately leaving to set up the guest bedroom. Virgil cradles Damian to go and help, closing the door quietly behind him. “So...Logan staying over?” Virgil raises his voice no, not too much as to not wake his son.

“Oh! Well I don’t want to bother him and honestly, the twins love him and I don't mind having him around so...I suppose” Patton babbles, carefully crafting the bed for the pair. Virgil groans softly, Patton cocks his head.

“Oh come on Pat, go for it!” He enunciates, Patton shakes his head, face riddled with confusion. “With Logan! It's been four years...and longer technically” Virgil glares, Patton stops his grip tightening on the bedsheets, he takes a breath shutting his eyes.

“I don't want to...go through it again” He pauses sitting down, Virgil softens taking a seat next to him. “I know it's silly but...what if Logan...is exactly like Liam?” His voice is so low now, his words seize into a fearful whisper. “I just can't do that again” He slumps his shoulders rubbing furiously at his eyes, his glasses lifting as he does so, clinging to the tiniest ear.

“Logan would...never do that” Virgil hopes, he wants to say something to Patton but how does he know? In all honesty, he doesn't want to see Patton go through that again. Virgil watched Patton suffer silently for years, he knows ...hopes that Logan would never do the same but even the idea…

“I know…” He starts, he shakes his head, a squirmed breath “I know, let's just forget about it” He says standing quickly.

“Patton”

“No it's fine” he refuses to meet Virgil's eyes “I'm fine”

[mandowh0re]

Baby For a Week

Day 2 Part 2

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Summary:  Loki decides it would be funny to turn Peter into a two year old, thrusting Tony into the life of an actual parent for a week. Is he ready?

Word Count: 1383

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst

A/N: I’m,,, updating??? HI GUYS! Also, I made Stucky a thing in this. Sorry not sorry.

Happy Reading!

Part 1.1/ Part 1.2/ Part 2.1/ Part 2.2

It was a relatively quiet evening after May left. Peter went down for a nap on his own and Tony took him and placed him in the crib along with the Iron Man plushie and puppy.

Deciding takeout would be a good idea after everyone tired themselves out playing with Peter, Tony ordered Chinese food to the Compound.

“So, how’s dad life treating you?” Natasha asked, before popping a piece of orange chicken in her mouth.

Tony shot her a glare, “I’m not-”

“Oh for the love of God!” Bucky slammed his flesh hand down on the table, “If I hear you say you’re not the kid’s dad one more time I’ll slap Steve,” he jerked his thumb to the man next to him.

“Um excuse me, don’t bring me into this!” Steve’s hands flew up.

Bucky ignored his boyfriend’s protest, “You literally walk, talk, and act like Pete’s dad twenty-four-seven. I’m pretty fucking sure the only person who doesn’t realize that is you.”

Steve quickly slapped Bucky upside the head at the same time Natasha kicked him under the table and Sam scream whispered, “Dude!”

Tony blinked a few times before his brain caught up with him.

“What did you just say?”

Bucky’s eyes got wide and they shot around the table.

“I no longer feel safe in this environment.” he said as he slumped in his seat.

“Oh now you’re intuition works.” Natasha hissed.

“Barnes,” Tony said, “What did you mean by that?”

It was silent for a few seconds before Bucky rolled his eyes and sat back up, “Well there’s no point in hiding it now!”

“It’s not your secret to tell, Buck.”

“I’ll get murdered either way. I’d rather get murdered by the spider.”

“You’re gonna make the kid cry.”

“He made us promise, Barnes.”

“Hey!” Tony yelled, getting everyone’s attention, “I’d like to know what secret my supposed spider child is keeping from me. So if you be so kind as to enlighten me,” he raised a brow.

Before anyone could stop him, Bucky blurted, “Petercallsyoudadwhenyouarentaroundto-.”

Tony choked on his spit at the same time Steve tackled Bucky to the ground..

“That’s a bold faced lie,” He said, but with such uncertainty that is came out painfully wavered.

His eyes flickered to Bruce, who just shrugged.

“FRIDAY?”

“Sergeant Barnes is telling the truth. I could not tell you because Peter convinced me not to.”

There were so many things swirling in Tony’s head right now.

How long had this been going on? Was it an accident at first? He really hasn’t fucked up with Peter? How had the kid manipulated Tony’s own AI to withhold information?

So he just avoided it altogether.

Turning to Barnes he said, “Can I at least say it one more time for the satisfaction of seeing Rogers get slapped?”

The look on Bucky’s face was pure evil.

***

That night, Tony was woken up by Peter screaming his lungs out.

Pepper had left on a business trip earlier in the evening to China, so he was left to his own devices.

Looking over the paper May had given him, she listed a few reasons as to why Peter may throw a tantrum.

Ear infection

Sick

Overly tired

Frustrated

Peter had an enhanced healing factor that made it damn near impossible for him to get sick, and he was sleeping. So all of those possibilities flew right out the window.

Tony had been bouncing the boy and cooing at him for the last ten minutes but nothing even caused Peter to let up on the screaming. And because he was screaming, he couldn’t communicate to Tony what was wrong.

“FRIDAY, can you scan him to see if there’s anything wrong that I’m missing?”

“I have already done so three times, boss. I cannot find anything physically wrong with him. Perhaps you should call Bruce up to look at him.”

“Right, right, okay. Can you have Bruce meet me in the med bay?”

“Will do.”

Tony grabbed puppy and the iron man plushie that the kid now called “kitty”, which the others made fun of Tony endlessly for.

“I don’t see him clutching to a stuffed version of any of you shit heads.”

When he got to the med bay, Bruce was already there in his pajamas with a white lab coat on.

The screaming child in Tony’s arms made him wince, “Mam, FRIDAY wasn’t messing around.”

“Does she ever?” Tony asked as he walked over to the bed.

“Yeah, if you ask her to.”

“One time. That was one time and you all basically grounded me.”

Just as Tony went to set Peter on the bed, the screaming got impossibly louder and Peter latched onto Tony with his spider powers.

“Well shit.”

“Just sit on the bed and put him on your lap. He should be fine there.”

After an extensive check, Bruce finally concluded that there really was nothing wrong with Peter. Luckily, by the time he was finished, Peter had calmed down to the point of hiccups and sniffles.

“Peter,” Bruce spoke quietly, “Can you tell us what’s wrong?”

Peter clutched the stuffed toys tighter and looked up at Tony, his chubby cheeks red and stained with tear tracks.

Tony ran a hand through the boy’s curls and carefully wiped a stray tear away, “It’s okay buddy. You can tell us.”

Peter looked between tony and Bruce a few more times before settling into Tony’s lap.

“Bird.”

Wait what?

“What do you mean, bud?”

“Mean bird. Big a-and gween eyes. Hurt.”

“Peter, there aren’t any birds in the building,” Bruce tried to explain, but Peter shook his head violently.

“Drop me in water! Th-then big house fell down n I not move and nobody help!” Peter was beginning to hyperventilate.

“He’s talking about Vulture. Toomes. I think. I’m not sure what he means about the house though.” Tony told Bruce.

“So a nightmare.” Bruce stated.

“I thought he only remembered us and his powers. No events.”

Bruce shrugged, “Maybe he has memories of things in his sleep. It’s Loki. And it’s magic. Honestly, we have no way to control or predict anything from here. We just gotta play it by ear.”

“Wonderful,” Tony groaned, “Hey Pete. The big mean bird is gone, he isn’t gonna hurt you. It was just a dream. I promise you’re safe.”

Peter only whimpered in response, but Tony took that as an okay to take him back up to the penthouse.

“Sorry for waking you, Brucie.”

“Never a problem for Peter.”

“I see where I stand.”

“Against the world’s cutest kid? Yeah, you do.”

Tony chuckled but headed back to the elevator.

When he finally got Peter to fall back to sleep, Tony snuck out to the living room of his penthouse.

“FRIDAY, I wanna know what Peter meant by what he said earlier. Look for any collapsed buildings in New York City in the timeframe from when he first told Happy about Toomes to the night Toomes was arrested.”

“I have found five collapsed buildings reported within those constrictions.”

“How many are still open cases or listed as suspicious or unsolved?”

“Two.”

“How did each one fall?”

“One building was an old abandoned apartment that burned to the ground. No arrest has been made in the case, but it appears to be arson. The other was an abandoned parking garage, collapsed from possible structural integrity. No arrest has been made, but it happened the night of the plane crash. The call to emergency operators came in about twenty minutes before your plane crashed.”

Tony physically felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“Were there any security cameras around that night?”

A shop across the street had a camera with the garage partially in its frame. I’m pulling it up now.”

A video feed came over the tv screen that had a partial shot of the street, including the parking garage.

A few seconds played before a red streak flew through the frame.

“Stop. Rewind. Play that frame by frame and enhance the video.”

FRIDAY did as requested, and there on the screen was Peter, in his old homemade spiderman suit, swinging towards the garage.

Tony felt his heart beginning to beat faster. Faster than it should.

He watched patiently for another three minutes, before the structure collapsed.

***

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[thetimelordbatgirl]

Random scattered thoughts about D3 under the cut

*The fact that everyone has basically abandoned Audrey though......where goodness doesn't get better? More like 'we'll abandon you once your dumped by our king and also rub it in your face that you couldn't hold a prince like your mother could'- also Audrey knows about the love spell and WHY Mal did it, but if that's the, case then everyone knows and still doesn't care that Mal did that- like the one person with brain cells is Audrey and shes the villain of this movie.

*Queen of Mean is a bop though- its one of the only valid songs in this movie, but also with the evil laughter almost that could be heard BEFORE Audrey puts on the crown, it makes me wonder if they planned to have Audrey be possessed after all.

*One Kiss is literally just gay panic the song, no I don't take arguments its literally Evie in gay panic mode and its Disney having to do that one heterosexual song to remind us that no, only heterosexual couples are valid in this universe- also despite dating for three years, Evie struggles to tell Doug she loves him and even doesn't believe her true loves kiss wont work???? WOW- can we say, clearly goals to have a relationship where bae stalks you originally and you struggle to tell him you love him after three years of dating and after sharing a cottage with him?

*Night Falls is a cool song, but I love how as soon as Uma tries to lead, Mal gets bitchy and acts like she can lead a sword fight better then a pirate captain could- like, mal chill, your not queen yet.

*Mal as Hades daughter.......lemme just uh, stress that's the worst twist in history, literally over-powers Mal once more with now god blood- and Do What You Gotta Do is literally daddy issues the song, and despite having the same parenting as Maleficent with how he neglected Mal basically, Hades is somehow the better parent?? HOW?! Also its never showed how Mal learnt this information.....did Disney forget to write that in or- and of course, Mal must be the only VK of the core four with a good parent- cause of course, Mal must have everything as always.

*Audrey singing Happy Birthday while cursing the party and singing 'dear jane' while smiling evilly......can we just uh say, she at least got down with the aesthetic of being a villain?

*Oh yeah, speaking of villains- despite being promoted as villains, Hades does nothing basically besides drain Mal of her magic and all 'evil' scenes from trailer is just him doing random shit or good shit, while Uma is more of a anti-hero while Celia is kinda just there doing scamming and such- Audrey was the only accurate villain to promotion and even then she only got one trailer.

*My Once Upon A Time is literally Pity Me the song and Mal even sings at the end about reaching greatness and such- Jay, Evie, Carlos and Ben got stonned for this shit.

*Also yes, they literally stonned Ben, Carlos, Jay and Evie cause only Mal can take part in final fight.

*ALSO- MAL LIED- like, girl literally lied to her friends about the isle barrier and didn't tell them she was going to seal it up, and when confronted about it, she acts like she had no choice when she MADE the decision on her own and then after friends get stonned, she goes into pity song mode and doesn't suffer much consequences for the lie afterwards.

*Audrey saying to Mal though about the love spell and how its a touching story for the grandkids.......grandkids in the future felt that burn.

*Mal is cursed into a old hag and Ben into a beast......except Mals curse wears off under the barrier while Bens is soon enough fixed by Jane blasting enchanted lake at him- just......cant have true love fix curses like they do in the movies, nah, that means our couple being true love.

*Audrey nearly fucking dies- thanks plot for nearly killing the WOC princess.

*"Mal came through"- yeah, after planning to seal up the barrier and abandon every kid on the isle basically- but its okay they didn't know so its okay, TIME TO CELEBRATE MAL AGAIN-

*Lady Tremaine's character is fucking weird- in descendants 2 they say shes not a good grandma, but here she is?! Can Disney make up their mind on how the characters are written?!

*Celia and her relationship with her father though is precious, y'all can fight me on it.

*Mal literally saying she has to be queen of the isle as well- one, excuse you that's Uma's title and two, the isle IS apart of Auradon and is a PRISON, then again, descendants 2 forgot this detail when trying to act like being from a place where VKs are abused by their parents is something you cant ignore so why am I not surprised Descendants 3 is continuing that trend.

*Mal is drained of her magic but this isn't even explored cause she gets it back when Hades gives her the ember- so guess we cant even see Mal be forced to fight a battle without magic.

*Also Hades gives Mal the ember at the end for good- BUT WHAT WILL SHE DO WITH IT?! Its probably gonna go in the museum lol- so he basically lost his weapon as well.

*The Smee twins are also precious, and the fact that Smee cares about them is adorable- plus Smee is kinda accurate in design so.

*Jay being a big brother to all....precious- but also hes clearly gay for Gil sorry don't make the rules.

*Carlos and Jane must be protected from the plot.

*Evie's plot is good as well, but her whole 'struggling to say I love you to doug' is still bullshit plot.

*Doug is as boring as ever- next.

*Uma is a queen as always- her boys were so happy to see her again and she looked so happy to see them as well, let alone seeing the sun finally when the barrier fell at the end.

*Which brings me to uh, the ending.....THEY TORE DOWN THE BARRIER- like, the entire Isle is free now, not just the VKs but also villains- VILLAINS WHO IN FIRST MOVIE WANTED REVENGE- villains who will likely hurt their kids in Auradon still and villains who will likely not want to play peaceful and happy families- I thought Mal knew how villains worked, but she thinks villains will wanna play good guys? What happened to 'your parents cant reach you here' in film 1? NOW THEY CAN- Jasmine already fucking calling bullshit if Jafar thinks he can roam free.

*Hades at the end.......uggghhhh- Mal as his kid still makes no sense and never will and we get it, protective dad joke- WE GET IT- god, those jokes tire me sometimes.

*Disney really better not be acting like they deserve an award for that Hades and Mal twist- everyone saw it coming, you gave it away with Mal's hair and the teaser trailer- which is also never explained in D3 so lol.

*Disney: *doesn't have Lonnie being mentioned at all* Lonnie: "Am I a joke to you?"

*Chads weak as always- again, next.

*Audrey does get a apology finally but um, it took THREE YEARS to do so! Y'all asked for her revenge! Like, I love Ben but who the fuck says to a pissed off person that's about to curse you and your trying to talk them out of it, "I'll forgive you" like- DUDE NO-

*VK Day is still bullshit and that's just facts- also I love how they like I wish we could take you all- WHY. CANT. YOU?! You have power to take them all of it! But you DONT! In fact, Mal later decides to seal up the barrier at one point meaning she had to abandon the VKs there and even prevent Celia from seeing her dad again! So guess she forgot the VKs and was like 'yeah seal that fucker up cause Hades stole my magic'.

*Mal needing cheering in final fight......yayyy- I didn't need anymore reminders this was a Mal movie.

*Remember when HSM3 at least felt connected to the prior movies? D3 doesn't even FEEL connected- your expected to read books that may not stand a chance at getting mentioned- also had a entire different thing with Mal's dad but Disney erased that despite connecting the books each time they said to read a book before seeing the film- and in D3, a lot of shit just feels separate to the previous two- let alone the major time skip making it harder to connect- with Young Justice, while timeskips happen you still get hints at what happened inbetween those timeskips- but with D3? None is mentioned- so your left with this as the last movie and yeah, its just messy really.

*Well at least Huma won- we got one good ship in this movie at least- too bad its surrounded by a mess.

*Thank fuck there's no more descendants movies after this- sure, its sad and descendants still has a place with me- well with the aspects I like/the characters I like- but at the same time, a fourth descendants would be disrespectful to Cameron Boyce, the only Carlos really and of course, considering how messy D3 was and how Mal centred it became, a fourth movie really is not in the future- its sad I know, but at the same time, at least descendants can live on in fandom.

[blookmallow]

ok that was mostly really good but what a BULLSHIT ENDING

i WAS going to say this might’ve made me cry if i was in a more emotional state, stories where “the ghost was just Hurt and needed help and needed to be understood” absolutely fucking WRECK me and i was going to say “having a Mother be the one person who figured out what this abused, murdered child wanted, a mother finding her and making a connection with her and bringing her peace, is so good” and i was going to say “noah going from ‘really unpleasant guy i cant be bothered to remember who makes fun of her fears and wont take her seriously’ to ‘absolutely going fucking feral trying to save rachel’s life and going to ANY lengths to get through this together’ is SUCH GREAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT” but now im just fucking mad lmao

i never really like stories where it’s like.... a child is just Evil for no reason, like for one thing “idk its just evil” is boring (unless its like. disney villain musical number evil then its fun but u know) i dont think a child can be Just Evil, and especially when they set the parallel with the disabled kid like “sometimes your kid’s got Something Wrong With Them but you love them anyway” with “sometimes a kid’s just evil” / the implication that maybe her parents were right to murder her is SO fucked 

they had this beautiful moment of “this isn’t an evil monster, this is a child, this is a little girl who was maybe mentally unwell but that’s not her FAULT, and she was being abused by her father and was murdered by her mother and spent a week dying alone in a well knowing what her mother had done, she wanted to be found, she wanted someone to hear her, she wanted someone to understand her and it took a woman, a mother, to understand that and to FIND her” and then just threw it out for the shock value of “wait nope it’s not over she’s just evil and will keep killing people forever because she wants to spread her suffering to the world” 

i mean. i understand the particular horror in the “the only way to survive is to pass it to someone else” and maybe there’s some kind of “reporter realizes the cost of getting in other peoples’ business and reopening old wounds for the sake of a story; you want to share someone else’s pain, now you have to, now you have to share it with everyone or you’ll fucking die” message here but 

A) horror movies need to fucking realize they DONT HAVE TO HAVE A SHOCKER ENDING/A SAD ENDING ITS OKAY TO LET YOUR PROTAGONISTS SURVIVE ITS OK TO LET THEM HEAL ITS OK TO HAVE A RESOLUTION FOR ONCE HOLY SHIT

and B) that’s not what she was doing?? she mentions maybe doing a story on it but it was never about like, “if i solve this ill be famous/ill get a promotion” whatever she wanted to understand. she wanted to find out what happened. she wanted to protect her child, even if she couldn’t save herself, she wanted to save her son, so her motive was exactly what samara should have wanted, she should have been the perfect person to figure this out, she was trying to uncover the truth behind a child’s abuse and murder to bring that child peace and save her own child in the process 

and there was such potential for samara to communicate with aiden, a kid who’s different too, a kid who expresses in “unusual” ways like her, a kid who also has a rough time with his parents even if his situation isn’t nearly as bad

rachel wasn’t just trying to spread a rumor around, her motives were all in exactly the right place so why is she getting punished for it

or maybe THAT’S the point and it’s a “you tried to do everything right but now you’re being forced to spread evil and suffering anyway, even though that was the last thing you intended” i dont know. its bullshit and im mad but i still liked it up until that point enough to forgive it it was still. really good, despite the Massive Flaws :’| 

i gotta process for a while lmao

and i gotta watch the original to see if that clears anything up

i still dont understand why her parents got so fucked up about her. like. i guess anna kept miscarrying so her husband believed she wasn’t meant to have a child and straight away assumed something was Bad about samara. but why did anna kill her if she wanted her and loved her so much. what had she done at that point that was “bad” 

im guessing it was the weird pictures and stuff, which. ok the fact that they weren’t just weird drawings and were like. x ray things??? was maybe a sign of something supernaturally wrong and not just a kid who needs support for their mental illness But Still 

rachel realized this was just a mentally unwell kid who needed to be listened to finding a way to express herself that her parents decided meant she was evil and needed to die, and she was fucking horrified by that, she as a mother with a kid who is also “”different”” who she would do anything for realizing this child’s mother in the same situation chose to murder her kid

it could have been a powerful message if they hadn’t fucked it up with “lol just kidding she was evil actually” 

im also wondering if the husband maybe did something to his wife that was actively causing her to miscarry?? i dont know if thats a thing that can be done but he said she “wasn’t supposed” to have a child, samara said he loves the horses and not her, it seems like he didn’t want a child in the first place 

and i dont know why they said she was adopted?? i dont know. its 2 AM and now i gotta figure out how to get my brain to stop spinning in circles so i can sleep lmao

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[comicteaparty]

January 28th-February 3rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 28th, 2019 to February 3rd, 2019.  The chat focused on Poco Adventures by Bryan Climer.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Poco Adventures by Bryan Climer~! (http://pocoadventures.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 3rd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Will Nigel remain on Poco’s side, or will he eventually turn evil because of the lich dagger? How will Nigel’s evil traits coming to light affect Poco’s belief in trusting people until they prove her wrong?

QUESTION 4. Will Sun’s status as an elvish princess earn her pursuers in the future? Do you believe Sun will continue to remain with Poco, or will duty eventually compel her to leave?

QUESTION 5. Do you believe Poco will continue to avoid a relationship with Sun, or will she eventually confess? Do you think Sun will reciprocate? How might the event affect their relationship, whether for good or ill?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably all the stuff that happened once poco got back to HQ. it was nice getting to see the little community poco has built, figure out everyone's place in it, and meet a bunch of new characters. just in terms of exposition, it really helped ground me and finally feel like there were stakes and bad things that could happen. 2) Poco. I just like how she's balanced. She can be fun and goofy but can also be immensely caring to those around her. as recent events show, tho, she isnt perfect. She rash and more than willing to chase after revenge and be the monster everyone thinks she is. I just think she's got a good dynamic and i enjoy seeing her adventures. 3) I think Nigel is kind of doomed for the evil. Not by choice, but I mean...it's a lich dagger. There's nothing more evil than a lich. And I just feel regardless of what Nigel wants, the odds are stacked against him. I think the more evil he becomes, the more Poco's gonna have an internal struggle about trust and whether it's worth it. Which I think in turn will play into the struggles about whether she should be better than the monster she's assumed to be or be the monster she should be anyway. 4) I think Sun won't be compelled by duty, but I do think some pursuers are gonna come eventually. Lack of heirs is how kingdoms collapse, so it's not something that can be shrugged off. Especially now that she's used it as leverge I kind of think she's asking for it. Cause ya kind of don't get to abandon your kingdom but then use the fact youre a princess without consequences. 5) Poco is definitely gonna confess, because those are the sorts of feelings that just come bursting out after the bottle gets too full. I think Sun will reciprocate eventually, but probably not at first. I think at first Sun is gonna be surprised and confused.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. How might Nigel’s backstory as a betrayed prince affect future events? Do you believe Poco will understand and accept him keeping it secret? Also, what is Nigel’s hand up to during all the story’s events?

Delphina

Just caught up on the archive and gaaahhhh another comic with a sapphic lady knight! My one weakness!

For some reason, the scene where Poco gets to the top of the mountain only to find out there were stairs all along made me giggle a lot. Of course Poco chose the hard way. Of course!

Sun is cute (aforementioned lady knight weakness) and I'm intrigued by her past and how it's going to catch up to her, but Poco is probably my favorite so far because she's been given more nuance at this point in the story. She's feisty and competent, and that's always fun.

I gotta agree that Nigel's chances don't look great. He's already lost a bit of control and I suspect reuniting with that rogue hand is going to make him lose it entirely. This comic hasn't been shy about murder, so I suspect after some deliberation, Poco's gonna pull the knife on him. Maybe if we're lucky he can be necromance-d back without too much fuss.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Why do you think Ryker killed Poco’s parents and the other goblins? Was it just non-human racism, or was there another reason? Do you believe Poco will actually manage to kill him this time, or are they destined to face off again?

Delphina

Yeaaaah, I might be wrong about this, but Ryker doesn't seem That Deep. I'm assuming he's just a racist violent dude and he murders a lot of people because he thinks humans are superior, and Poco's family were some of the few that effectively fought back and scarred him/stopped him for a while. I don't think she'll kill him yet. They'll meet again.

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Helsirvente is now up! @khkddn https://comicteaparty.com/post/182467247440/january-21st-january-27th-2019-ctp-archive)

QUESTION 8. Given the massive human slaughter, what backlash might the Outrunner Outpost face for their actions? In general, how do you think Poco and company might affect humans’ views on non-humans?

@Delphina I have been ultra worried about that rogue hand. I can't decide whether I should find it more light hearted or more ominous of things to come. Cause he seemed fine when he had it but maybe he won't be fine because of the severing. Not to mention Nigel will probably have to realter his outfit or something.

6) I really do hope Nigel's background comes into play. I'm really curious about this random fact he's a prince and it seemed a significant point to bring up. And I mean...if he does get taken over by a lich very easy to show up to the old kingdom and go "i am the rightful heir" or something. I think that's a secret Poco would understand that, since its not like she doesnt already keep royalty in the pocket. 7) I'm a bit torn. I kind of think it's a mix of both. Like one goblin did something bad, but then Ryker was a racist and said he couldnt tell them apart and just genocided them. I don't think she's gonna get to kill him anytime soon. Ryker is super not done being the ultra dick of this story. 8) I think there's gonna be bounties on them for sure. I don't think the humans are gonna take kindly. Although I think the one dude Sun save might try to say something but then meh out. For the time being, I think Poco and them aren't really gonna change anything about people's viewpoints. Partly cause Poco herself is kind of ready to be the villain they want her to be. Her bro is really the one who has the chance of changing viewpoints, and right now hes in no condition to be all heroic.

Delphina

Yeah, Poco's core tactic seems to be "gather up all the non-human folks into our own little commune". I'm curious if they'll take the healer in, because he's the only human that's expressed a desire to not murder anyone, but I suspect if that happens, it's just going to be a matter of "well, you're one of us and you'll have no contact with humans from here on out". While Ryker might send MORE people after them, I don't expect the plot to move beyond skirmishes.

I guess there's also the possibility if Nigel somehow assumes a position of authority over the humans as his birthright and Sun goes back to her position of authority over non-humans as her birthright, they could politics their way out of hostilities, but it's a long shot and would definitely take a tone shift over what we're seeing at this point in the story.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Overall, what other adventures and mishaps do you think Poco might get up to in the story? Also, what role might the pacifist Miller have to play in future stories?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) im definitely thinking were gonna see some more dungeon diving. cause cant have adventure without dungeons. as for Miller, I do actually think he's gonna wind up with them eventually. maybe not right away, but I think he's gonna express some opinions that the big cheeses arent gonna be fond off and hes gonna be exiled or something like that. 10) im looking forward to seeing nigel's hand arrive cause that could go really badly or be really benign. and until then the tension is building as to how that will all play out.

Delphina

Yeah, I also want to see what happens with Nigel's hand and see a little more around his and Sun's backstories and worldviews.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Poco Adventures this week! Please also give a special thank you to Bryan Climer for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Poco Adventures, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://pocoadventures.com/

Poco Adventures’ Twitter: https://twitter.com/pocoadventures

[tylerwritez]

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

[wanna1things]

Soulmate!Kang Daniel

i want daniel to be MY soulmate i LOVE him with all of my heart <3

Genre;; fluff and a whole ass soulmates au;; i might do this sort of au for every member,, like a different soulmate au for each one but?? Idk also university!au

Warnings;; nothing really

Pairing;; Kang Daniel x reader

Requested;; nope another thing kind of from my backlog kinda

Soulmate AU Type;; You dream some of the treasured memories of your soulmate up until when you touch for the first time. The soulmate’s face is censored in the dreams, but their name isn’t.

Summary;; You’ve been searching for your soulmate for longer than you can remember. All you know about him is that he loves dancing and... jelly bears…? That is until you dream of your own university… and your own room...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1595

Also in this series;; Woojin | Jihoon  | Jinyoung | Minhyun

THIS au has been in my brain for the longest time and Daniel fits the storyline the best so enjoy!! its kind of short for this kind of au but it’s because its quite fast paced once you get past the initial bit lol

the first time you had one of the so-called ‘soulmate dreams’ you knew straight away what it was

your parents had told you about it frequently and how they started having their dreams when they were around 4

you were a bit of a late bloomer

it was the week after your 12th birthday, and by that point all of your friends had had some dreams, and some had even met their soulmate

but you’d never had anything, which made everyone worried that you were a loveless - a person without a soulmate

you and your parents were so pleased when your first dream finally happened lol

but your dream was a little different than other people’s

mainly because whoever your soulmate was…

they were performing?? on a stage??

most people had normal dreams, like a first day of school, making friends, getting a good grade on a test, doing a nice piece of work something like that

this sort of thing was rare, especially as a first dream

at first you thought like wow okay guess my soulmate is a celebrity i guess that's cool

and you knew his name, kang euigeon, because they announced it before he performed lol

I mean that was until he changed it to daniel

all the dreams seemed to be related to performing and dancing and stuff, but there were also some;; sad dreams

there was one dream that really stood out, and it appeared to be him meeting his best friend

it started off with him being bullied for looking ‘different’, when the person who became his best friend stepped in and shut them all up

it was a sweet memory but it made you worried because ?? my soulmate is being bullied?? gotta help!!!

it continued on like this for ages, with odd treasured memories popping up every couple of months

one that you found hilarious was his best friend buying him a massive jelly bear for his 16th birthday

when i say massive i mean massive like it was the size of the table

it was gone in 0.5 seconds (realistically it took him and his friends more like 30 minutes)

you often felt sad as your friends were finding and meeting their soulmates, or gradually finding out more about them

but the places you saw in the memories never seemed like they were anywhere near you

in fact you couldn’t even work out if he was even in the same country as you

your friends kept encouraging you to go on holidays, just in case you’d bump into him somewhere there but,, nothing seemed to work?

it was like you were cursed to never meet him which would suck

and you’d heard the stories of people like that, who ended up forming ‘fake’ relationships with people without soulmates and then every night dreaming of their soulmate again

sounded like a depressing life

and a life that seemed to be coming ever closer

in an attempt to salvage what may be the only hope in your life, you poured yourself into your studies

and by poured i mean hello 24/7 365 honor roll student

you managed to score a place in one of the top universities in the country to study international relations with a minor in dance

mainly because you love it, but also because you feel like…. It might bring you closer to your soulmate, you can’t really explain why lol

but on the night after you go and visit the university you have a dream that almost scares the living daylights out of you

it started off with him boarding a plane on his own and coming to what seemed to be your country but then it skipped time a bit

and he was at the university you were set to attend, at the same open day as you

you began to think back about who you saw today, was he one of them? you had no idea

you pushed it to the back of your mind as you prepared for the start of the semester

you’d decided to live off campus with a couple of your friends and some friends of friends

there was mention of the last room being advertised online because they couldn’t find anybody to take the spot but you didn’t really take notice

when it came to moving in day, you spent so much time saying goodbye to your various friends (and their soulmates) and of course your family

you ended up not actually getting there to move in until 4

when you got there you greeted what seemed to be all of your flatmates for the year and they seemed really nice but the numbers didn’t add up

there was an extra room next to yours?

when you looked inside, someone had unpacked in there already and their stuff was strewn all over the floor (someone’s messy)

so you decided to ask your roommate about;;; whose room is it

‘the room next to yours? it’s daniel’s! he’s a business major with a minor in dance like you so you might see him around!! he’s out tonight though,, i think his friends are over or something’

your heart almost skipped a beat when you heard daniels name

but then you quickly realised that yeah,, that’s actually a super common name what are the chances

that was until you dreamed your own flat that night

and the room next door to you

IT WAS SO HARD TO NOT FREAK OUT THE NEXT DAY

especially when you saw someone you didn’t recognise in the kitchen the next day

by someone i mean you’re pretty sure it was daniel

I mean you took one look at him, realised that it wasn’t one of your flatmates that you’d met (so it basically had to be daniel) theN YOU REALISED OKAY YEAH YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS SOULMATE

and he was cooking pancakes shirtless uMDJSHSF

it’s just…

you weren’t expecting to THEN see him in literally the first class you ever had at uni

he smiled brightly at you and waved you over to the seat next to him, quickly introducing himself

‘hello y/n!! i’m kang daniel and i’m your roommate that you didn’t meet yesterday! sorry i was out it’s just that i had to see some friends and that but the others told me who you were and that lol’;; i heard you’re a dance minor too so i guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other

yeah you tuned out for half of that because fhsdfghf not only is he the most beautiful human but he also has the most ADORABLE SMILE

you shift a bit away from him in your seat because okay you’ve heard stories about what happens when you touch your soulmate for the first time and you do NOT want this happening in the middle of when you’re meant to have a lecture

your friends had told you that basically the part of your body which touches glows bright white and you have like a quick 1 minute recap of all of the dreams

yeah not ideal for a lecture

but daniel, being daniel, does not know this because a) too hyped about meeting his soulmate finally and b) does he look like the type to know what’s going to happen? No

your heart drops when he taps your shoulder to ask you for a pencil sharpener right when the lecturer says ‘this is something you need to remember - it’s important!’

REALLY DANIEL GREAT JOB

as your shoulder begins to glow softly, you look up at him and roll your eyes as he looks at you in complete shock

yep he has no idea whats going on

before you know it the dream recaps started and you’re watching him eat the damn jelly bear again

but what your friends never told you is the dream finishes with an image of your first kiss together

UHHHHH when you saw yourself and daniel in a beautiful garden, sharing a soft kiss, you FREAKED THE HELL OUT

but daniel being daniel knew exactly what to go

cue being dragged out of the lecture theatre by daniel, protesting wildly as your lecturer looks at you two comPLETELY BEWILDERED

he leads you to the gardens nearby the university campus and sits down on a bench by the roses, motioning for you to sit next to him

its silent for a bit until out of nowhere he’s like

‘god that was a long time coming’

you can’t help but laugh because ;; yeah it really did take a lONG TIME

its silent again but… its not awkward

it feels like you two have known each other since forever and tbh you are just basking in each other’s presence

suddenly daniel stands up and plucks a rose from the bush behind him

thank god theres no thorns lol

you’re about to protest about how you’re pretty sure you cant go around picking flowers like that before he kneels down in front of you

and you’re a little shook o

‘y/n!! i’m so glad we met today!! i have been trying to find you ever since i had that first dream!! i hope we can make some precious memories together now!!’

he holds out the rose for you to take it so of course you do

he stands up quickly and presses his lips against yours in a soft kiss

and you swear from that moment onwards

you know for a fact that everything will be okay, because you have him

the end is cheesy bc i didn’t know how to end it lmao anyway;;; yeah i uh;;; hope this wasn’t terrible to read lol;; ok im off to bed goodnightt

[exoticcal]

Jared Kleinman x Reader: Ditto

OHOHO did i hear you take requests?? Can I maybe have a Jared Kleinman X Fem!Reader where he and reader are childhood friends and Jared confesses to her while they’re hanging out?? >:3cc Btw, love your writing.

A/N: Oh shit!! I wrote something?!! I’m sorry if this is shitty, I really tried but im a little rusty. My requests are open and I’m open to receive criticism 

“Hey, (Y/N), are we still on for tonight?” You hear a familiar voice call out to you from behind as you shove some of you belongings into your bag. 

“Of course! It’s our normal Friday night ritual. Tonight you get to pick the movie, remember?” You say, spinning around to meet his eyes. 

“I know I am, do you think I forget these things so easily?” He quietly gasps, looking offended. “Do you remember what you have to do tonight?” He smirks, cocking his head at you.

You squint your eyes, “ I’m bringing the snacks.” You walk past him. “Do you think I’d forget that?” You tease, moving along to your final class. 

“I don’t know, sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours.” He calls out, walking in the opposite direction that you’re walking in.

“Fuck off, Kleinman!” You yell, a teasing tone evident in your voice.

“Love you too, (Y/L/N)!” He yells back. 

He looks down, pushing his glasses up as he thinks about you. A pink blush, fanning across his cheeks. He couldn’t get his mind off of you, for the past week he’s been waiting for tonight so he can spend time with you. He knew he liked you. He just didn’t want to ruin you ongoing  friendship. He shakes his head slightly, you couldn’t possibly feel the same way. You probably view him as an annoying brother or something. He frowns as he plops down in his seat of his class.

However, on the opposite side of the school. You’re replying that sentence in your head, “Love you too,”... You felt your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up. You tried shrugging off this feel that you had but couldn’t help but replay it over and over in your mind throughout the last class. 

As the bell rings you found yourself making your way to your car in the parking lot, unlocking it and throwing your bag inside. You look up and see four cars down, Jared doing the exact same thing. 

“Hey, Kleinman. What time are you thinking for tonight?” His head snaps up, clearly startled by you. His face flushing pink as he regains his composure. 

“J-Jesus Christ, (Y/N)... How about 8?” He questions. 

“Okay, sounds good. See ya then.” You smile in response, climbing inside your car. You turn on your car and drive out of the school lot and make your way home.

You prepare a “just in case overnight bag”, just in case. You then decide to shower so you’re not stinky or anything, as you get out of your shower your mind suddenly repeats the sentence from earlier.

“Why am I still thinking out that?” You groan, out-loud. You get dressed and start to blow dry your hair and that’s when it hits you.

“Do I like him?” You question, staring at your eyes through the mirror. You think about all of the memories that you’ve shared with this boy over the past 10 years and felt your heart leap within your chest.

“Holy shit. I like Kleinman.” As soon as you admitted that to yourself other thoughts soon flooded your mind. 

How foolish could you be? Him like you?? He probably thinks of you as a sister or something. He’s also too attractive to be with you, what are you even thinking? You groan out in annoyance, running a hand through your damp hair. 

You resume getting ready before leaving your house to go to the store. You walk into the store and make you way over to the chip section. The best thing for you to do is not say anything, he’s your best friend. You cant lose him. You grab a bag of his and your favorite chips and then a common dip that you two both like and set them in the cart. Moving to the sugary candy aisle your eyes scan the shelves as you look for his favorite candy.

KitKats.

You cringe as you remember the first time you witnessed him eating them for the first time. It was one of the first movie nights back in 8th grade, you just so happened to look over at him as he-

“(Y/N)?” A quiet voice knocks you out of your memory. You turn your head and see the anxious boy, Evan, shyly waving at you. “A-Are you getting food for that thing you and Jared do?” He questions, walking up and standing beside you.

“Why yes I am, Evan.” You smile, grabbing 3 bars of kitkats, placing them in the cart then grabbing a good amount of your favorite candy.

“D-Do friends normally do what you two do?” He asks.

You nod, before speaking. “Well, friends who have known each as long as Jared and I have known each other do. Not all friend do them all the time.” You look at him.

“You two must enjoy each others company.” He smiles, looking at you. 

You blush and nod, turning away with your cart. “Y-Yeah. Well, I gotta keep gathering snacks for tonight. I’ll see you on Monday, Evan.” You quickly left the aisle you were in, trying to calm yourself down. 

If just the mention of him makes you blush like crazy, what will happen when your with him in person? You shake your head, trying to forget about it all and continue shopping.

After you finish, you go back to your house and write out a note to your parent(s) just informing them where you’ll be at if anything happens and then make your way over to your best friends house.

After a 10 minute drive you pull up to his house, grabbing your stuff and the bags with snacks and walk up to his front door. Kicking is gently since you hands are somewhat full. A few second later the door opens to reveal a comfy Jared in his pajamas, he quickly takes bags from you as he welcomes you in. 

“Make yourself comfy! I’ll prepare the foods and drinks!” He cheers, moving into the kitchen. You smile and instantly feel comfortable in his home where you’ve spent way too much time in. 

“Did you set the living room up yet?” You ask, walking towards the closet that blankets and extra pillows are stashed in. 

“No, I totally forgot to. You can set that up if you’d like.” He responds, opening the bags of chips and emptying them in separate bowls. You let out a loud but joking sigh as you begin setting the couch up for the hours to come of movie watching.

As you finished and plopped down onto the couch, Jared walked out with everything in his arms and hands. He slowly sets everything down successfully and sits besides you. 

“Let’s get this shizz started!” He grabbed the remote and turned the tv on to show the title screen of what movie you two were going to start with.

“...Kleinman, I’m going to kill you..” You uttered, rubbing your temples as you gaze at the screen.

“The Bee Movie is a classic, (Y/N)!” He laughs, pressing play. Leaning forward towards the table with the snacks placed on it. “You got me kitkats?!” He gasps, as he rips open the wrapper.

“Of course, just don’t eat it th-” You say, turning to look at him as he takes a bite out of all four of them at once. “you monster... I am disgusted.” You spew, cringing at him as he chews.

“Yeah, but you love me.” He states after swallowing. You nearly choked on your spit as you felt your face flush pink. 

“Whoa, hey, you okay??” He places his hand on your back, looking at you worriedly. You try to regain your composure and look at him, finding yourself turning even more red. 

“Dude, you’re so red. Are you sure you’re okay??” You nod in response before looking at the screen.

“I-I’m fine!” You reassure, not looking over at him. Making him sit there and think if he did anything wrong or if it was nothing. And so you two sat, watching the movie in silence.

Awkward silence. 

Suddenly you felt the couch shift beside you and a hand place itself on your knee, you snap your head to look at Jared as he looks at you, with an unreadable expression.

“(Y/N)...” He breaths out, breaking your eye contact. “I gotta tell you something..”

You nod slowly, you mind flooding with all the possible things he could say to you and you grow anxious. “I-I’m listening, Jared.” He knew that you were taking him serious since you never call him by his first name which allowed him to continue.

“I really enjoy hanging out with you a lot, I always have. You make me happy and I’m so grateful to have you in my life, I’ve know you since we were convinced that boy and girls had cooties and I’m happy to still know you today.” He takes in a shaky breath before continuing, “I’m super happy to know you today, you’re amazing and kind and likable and beautiful, wow you’re so beautiful and I guess what I’m trying to get at is ibasicallyreallyreallylikeyouandfeltlikeyouneededtoknow.”

You sit there, soaking everything he had just said in while gazing down at your lap.

“Fuck, i probably messed everything up lets just forget I even said a thi-” You cut him off with a quick kiss.

“Ditto dude.” Was all you could manage to say.

“D-Ditto?! I just confess to you and you say ditto??” He squeaks, face red as he runs his finger over his lips. 

“Y-Yeah! Ditto!” You laugh, leaning forward. “I could said something that means the complete opposite meaning that I don’t reciprocate the same feelings but i did-.” Now was his turn to cut you off, his lips molding to yours as he places his hand on your cheek before pulling away a few seconds after.

“Ditto works for me.”

“Just kiss me, Kleinman.”

“As you wish, babe.” 

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[glowstickhaloboy]

AU where jack is a librarian and bitty accidentally studies

jack loves books. bitty hates studying.

but bitty needs to try something, bc whatever hes doing now is not working, and finals are coming up, so he thinks maybe if he gets some silence and solitude things he needs to know will start sticking

so he goes to the library and lo and behold theres an adonis behind the counter with a pencil tucked behind his ear as he intently reads a biography on Joan of Arc. bitty hears his conscience speak to him in beyonces voice, telling him that this boy is his

but hes a nervous wreck now that he knows theres someone hot here so yeah hes definitely not getting any studying done

except the cute boy doesnt even look up, and bitty remembers that hes probably straight anyway because thats the way the universe likes to be, so he keeps his head down and makes his way to an empty table (but he chooses one that keeps the cute boy in sight, and he isnt sure if thats because he is a masochist or isnt one)

he does his best to vibe this guy, who only looks up from his book when someone comes to check out or ask for the bathroom key, and bitty decides that hes gotta play it cool. that boy likes knowledge, so bitty will have to pretend that he also likes knowledge and isnt absolutely boy crazy, so he opens his textbook and gets down to business, hoping that that cute boy will look over at least and notice how studious this southern young man is

and almost three hours passes where bitty actually studies. he looks at his phone and realizes what hes just tricked himself into doing. he checks back on the cute boy, who is looking at him holy hell it was only for a second and then he quickly looked at his book again and relax eric relax he was probably just zoned out and happened to be staring at your face but maybe he could also sense how good you are at making pies and is deciding whether or not your boyfriend material

its already been three hours, but bitty definitely cannot leave now that developments are taking place

but its only fifteen more minutes before someone else shows up and takes the cute boys place behind the desk. the cute boy walks into the back and comes back with a jacket slung over his shoulder. “see ya, chris,” he says, and bitty wonders if hes being loud enough for his voice to carry on purpose, and when cute boy leaves, bittles insides all start screaming and he wonders if hes being blessed or punished because that boy must do squats or something.

bitty plays it cool for another half hour after that, because he cant look like he was only here because that cute boy was, but hes really only on twitter now. then he packs up his bag and spends the entire walk back to his room thinking about the moment he glanced up and the cute boy glanced down.

and he comes back the next day. bittle may play the slow game, but he has to see where this is going. day one, a glance, and maybe if hes really lucky, by day two he might get a pleasant “good afternoon. welcome to the library.”

he doesnt. he walks right in and sits in the same spot as yesterday, and the cute boy is reading the same book, but bitty tries to keep his face controlled, because this time cute boy looked up as he came in, and unless bittle was reading too much into it, cute boy looked down again as though this wasnt supposed to mean anything, like that was what he wanted bitty to think, but secretly it did.

they continue like this for two weeks, and eric is blessed to discover that the cute boy works a four hour shift every single day. which means theres never a day bittle has to miss out on seeing his sculpted-by-the-gods face.

and then valentines day rolls around.

bitty wonders what in the world am i doing so often while he bakes on february 14th that he knows he has lost any semblance of self-control

he walks into the library thinking the exact same thing, and of course, theres the cute boy, who has moved on to reading an account of the cuban vie for independence from spain, and for the first time, bitty actually approaches the counter

“um, hi,” he says, slightly breathless from the cold, and the cute boy looks up and smiles and says “hi” back. bitty has to ignore his pounding heart and continue on with the words hes been rehearsing since he turned the oven on.

“so, ive been spending a lot of time in the library recently, and i bake a lot, and since today is valentines day, i thought it would be nice to make these cookies for everyone today, so would it be alright if i left these on the counter and people sort of just... helped themselves if they wanted one? i made a card to”

bitty reaches into the basket and holds up a card designed by his friend lardo that reads “happy valentines day! please take one (1)”

the cute boys smile widens, and he says, “yeah. wow, they look great!”

after all the work bitty put into making them, they damn well better. he hasnt worked this hard on a batch of cookies since he campaigned for ninth grade class president. still, he cant help but turn as pink as the frosting on them when the first thing this boy ever says to him is a compliment on his baking.

“its nothin’” says bitty, setting the basket down and stuffing his mittens into his pockets

the cute boy latches onto bittys damnable accent and asks with interest “where are you from?”

“oh, georgia”

“nice. im jack, im from montreal.” he sticks out his hand and bittys suddenly clams up with sweat. oh no this cant be a horrible first handshake, it needs to be warm and nice

bitty decides he has to keep the mitten on, though, because that could be considered cute, right? sweat definitely couldnt. “eric,” he says, and doesnt allow himself to think about the fact that hes just put a bright red mitten in an adonis’s hand. they both seem to be running out of charm, though, so bitty muddles through

“um, they might be a little frozen from the walk over, but they should be good in a few minutes,” he says, then scurries over to his table because two weeks is way too soon to start talking

he distracts himself with literature homework to try to forget what a darn fool he just made himself out to be, but he cant completely tune out the rustling coming from the front desk as jack makes a careful display out of bittles basket and card, even allowing it to block the laminated sign warning patrons the repercussions of keeping overdue books.

a few more students trickle in, and a couple of them go for the basket, and Professor Whitmond tromps in with his two grandkids, who leave covered in powder and sprinkles, but bitty exercises all of his willpower to block it out because he cant believe he did this

but he also wonders if jack is going to take a cookie. hes obsessed with the thought of it. he needs jack to eat one of those cookies and realize that bittle is not just a pretty face. bittles entire body is on high alert, praying for it.

and then it happens. jack reaches into the basket, pulls out a cookie, and takes a bite. bittle thinks, checkmate.

he notices jack glance over at him, and bittle is now confident enough that he chances a bright smile. those cookies are good. they would never have made it out of his kitchen if they werent his best.

jack points at the cookie, his expression one of utter astonishment, and mouths, these are amazing.

bitty raises an eyebrow. i know.

jack makes another expression of astonishment, then waves bitty to go back to his studying. bitty pretends to, but really, hes wondering if bringing in a batch of cookies every friday would be too much.

(he does it anyway)

fridays become the staple of his relationship with jack. bittle brings in a basket of cookies, jack says something that makes bittle wonder if hes flirting or teasing, and bittle feels satisfaction drop into his gut as jack helps himself to the first of the bunch. there has never been a day where every cookie is not eaten.

and then jack changes the schedule. bitty comes in on friday with his usual basket, and jack says, “Eric. I had a question.” and bittles heart starts thumping in its stupid, traitorous way, and jack continues, “About these cookies...” and bitty thinks, oh great, theyre too much, hes only been pretending to like them for my benefit, enough is enough, “Would you mind making me a batch to send to Montreal? My parents want to try them.”

and bittys mind goes completely blank. Something about the way Jack says it completely straight throws bitty off guard. Because, yeah, hes caught on to the fact that Jack can be a bit socially awkward, but this definitely takes the proverbial cake.

“Your parents?” asks Bittle. “How do they know about my cookies?”

“I told them,” says jack, as if its obvious. “We call every friday night, and I always talk about your cookies.”

Bitty’s mind hurriedly re-writes his knowledge of the past few weeks to include the fact that Jack From The Library Has Been Speaking To His Parents About His Cookies And Now Jack’s Parents (IN MONTREAL!) Want To Eat Them.

“So, would that be too weird?” asks Jack.

“Not at all!” says Bitty, laughing slightly because hes terrified. “I can bring some in tomorrow if youd like!”

Its only when Jack smiles that Bitty feels relieved, like hes successfully navigated a minefield correctly. “Thatd be great!” says Jack. “I’ll pay you, if you want, to cover the cost of the ingredients-”

Bitty waves him away. “That’s not necessary, Jack, I’d love to.”

he goes to his seat and cuts his study time in half because he cant stop freaking out about making baked goods for jacks parents, who have never met him, and need to decide within their first taste whether bittle has any worth in their sons life

hes up half the night, and it definitely shows on his face when he brings into the library the next day. all he wants to do is say get them out of my sight.

jack accepts them with a confused look on his face, thanks bittle as bittle marches to his table and begins spreading out his books

oh yeah, and bitty has been getting weirdly good grades since all this started?? it turns out that bi-weekly flirting is the perfect reward for someone who needs to study more. his test scores have gone up dramatically, and even his GPA has gotten a modest boost.

thats only the secondary goal here, though, his real goal has always been getting jack to notice him

for three days, including baking night, bittle sleeps horribly, angsting over what jacks parents - whoever they even are - will think of his cookies. on monday, he gets his answer

“Eric!” jack greets as bittle walks into the library. hes smiling wide. “ive been told to tell you that youre moving to montreal to become my parents’ personal dessert chef.”

relief smacks into bitty like a forty-pound fist. he feels slightly whoozy. “they liked them?” he repeats.

jack just stares at him. “Eric. Have you ever had one of your cookies before.”

“No, I mean, well, yes, obviously I have, but it’s just that I’m always worried whenever new people try them that they’ll hate them, and since baking is the only thing I’m really good at, it’s important to me that people, you know, like my stuff.”

“Eric,” Jack says, for what feels like the thousandth time. “Everything you make is incredible. And baking isn’t all you’re good at. You study like a champion.” He offers Eric a fist bump.

Eric takes it for what it is, a sign of friendship, as he belatedly registers that Jack just called his baking skills amazing. Even if the boy is straight, he knows how to play Eric like a fiddle. And Eric is just gone enough to let it happen.

spring weather is finally setting in, and bitty starts to think about just how many days hes spent in the library this year, all so he can gawk at a boy he doesnt have a chance with. all this time, and he couldve been actually out there looking for someone who will genuinely be with him and make him happy.

he stops going to the library on a tuesday. by friday, he feels bad because the people on campus have come to expect his cookies every week, and he owes it to them to keep their stomachs satisfied with finals approaching. he makes a batch, not knowing what hes going to say to jack, or if jack will even care that bitty has been out by the pond enjoying his afternoons with his friends instead of hanging out inside.

he walks in with his basket, and jack seems to look both relieved and slightly cross. “Eric,” he says, because thats all he ever says. “You haven’t been here.”

Bitty shrugs. “I made cookies,” he says, and offers Jack the basket.

Jack’s brow furrows. “Is something wrong?” he asks.

“No,” says Bitty, which, because he doesn’t know what on Earth he’s feeling, is almost the truth.

Somewhat stunned into silence, Jack accepts the basket Bitty offers him and watches Bitty leave again. Bitty walks until he’s out of sight of the library, then sits on the nearest bench and wipes his eyes. He’s being ridiculous. There was literally never even anything between him and Jack. It was all made up in Bitty’s head, a fabrication based on a few standard conversations and lies garnered by baked goods. Maybe Bitty is crying because he’s such a fool. Why did he waste so much time on a needless fantasy? What was wrong with him.

“Well,” he mumbles to himself, standing. “At least your grades went up.”

this is the part where he looks up, hoping that jack might have followed him and was now waiting, out of breath, to say something meaningful and restore all of bitty’s hopes. but the sidewalk is empty, and bitty is left exactly like normal--creating a version of jack that doesnt exist based on the picture he has in his head

he goes back at the end of the day, when he knows jack will be gone, to collect his cookie basket from the library. a boy named chris hands it to him. “yeah, thanks for bringing these in today!” says chris. “the guy i work with seemed kinda down, so i think he needed a pick me up. i mean, he said that theyre for the patrons, but i got him to eat one, and i could tell he even felt better afterwards. theyre super good! i mean, i always ate them, i didnt know jack didnt, but-”

“thanks,” said bitty. he thought that if he didnt interrupt, this young man would never have stopped talking. “er, thats sweet of you.”

so for three weeks, bitty only comes in on fridays to drop off cookies. he and jack dont say a lot to each other. but as bittys mood steadily improves, jacks mood steadily worsens.

im healing, bitty thinks as he walks in on the third friday. that wasnt healthy, eric, it was sensible to get out of that.

“hey jack,” he says happily, setting the basket of cookies on the counter. “special delivery.”

jack squints at him for a moment, with a smile that seems more like a grimace. “thanks,” is all he says. he says it in a very particular way. flat. thanks.

bitty’s brow furrows. he thinks about asking, but he grew up in the hospitable south, where the popular motto was let everyone get on with their own business or get cussed out for pryin’. “um. youre welcome.”

he almost walks out, then shouts screw it! in his mind and turns around. “are you mad or somethin’?”

jack looks up as though feigning ignorance. all the lines on his face look hard. he sighs. “no, eric. its nothing to worry about. thanks for the cookies.”

“because my mama used to teach me lessons in passive aggressive bullshit when i used her pan sheets without askin’.”

“its nothing. its me. have a good day.”

“only she never tried to brush me off when i wanted to talk to her about it.”

jack considers him. “you dont come into the library anymore,” he admitted. “im not mad at you, im just... grumpy.”

bitty has to fight hard to keep his heart bolted down. he misses his friend, he tells himself. do. not. read. into. it.

“Oh,” says Bitty. “I, um. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Er. Have you been reading anything good recently?”

jack defrosts a little and they have a nice conversation about the true crime novel jacks gotten into. bitty feels a little bad for ghosting him, and maybe he misjudged things a little by saying there was nothing there, because hey certainly got along well, but he wasnt naive enough to think there was any use kidding himself about something romantic.

by the end of it, jacks laughing, and eric finds it in himself to giggle along too, and it feels like a nice resolution. maybe you cant have it all, eric thinks, but you can have this.

he bids jack goodbye, feeling better about the whole mess, glad that he said something.

at the end of the day, chris returns bittys basket, and bitty cant help but ask how jack was today. all chris says is, “Glowing.”

For the first time, bitty and jack run into each other outside the library. theyre at the campus coffee shop, perhaps both gearing up for finals week, and jack is leaving just as bitty is entering.

“Eric,” says Jack, genuinely smiling. Bitty’s smile is also completely real.

“Jack.”

“It’s weird, but it just kind of clicked for me that you’re a real person,” says Jack, then makes a soft face of pain. “I mean, obviously you’re a real person, but I’d only ever seen you at the library before. Now that we’re somewhere else-”

“I get it,” bitty assures him. “Are you working there next year, too?”

Jack shrugs. “Who knows? I’d like to, but someone with work-study might take my place. I’m always getting yelled at for reading when I should be re-shelving books. And I get cookie dust all over the counter on Fridays.”

Blushing, Eric says, “That is entirely your fault and no one else is responsible for that.”

“Not at all.” He’s still smiling, which Bitty thinks is ridiculous. “Are you doing anything right now?”

Bitty gestures to the line ahead of him. “Buying coffee,” he says.

“Anything else?” Jack clarifies. Bitty shakes his head. “I’ll wait with you. We can sit down and drink it together.”

He has to know what he’s doing, Bitty thinks. Once again, blind hope fills his chest and Bitty says, “Sure. That’d be nice.”

by the time their cups are drained, theyre too deep in conversation to move. when a pause comes, however, jack clears his throat. “Um. Actually. Eric. I, um, just wanted to clarify something, because I think I didn’t before.”

Bitty sighs dramatically. “I knew it. You’re using me because your parents want more cookies.”

Jack’s laugh is music for Bitty’s soul. “They seriously have not stopped asking about you since I sent those cookies. I didn’t know what to say to them when you stopped coming to the library.”

Bitty turns a little quieter. “Sorry about that,” he says. not because he feels sorry for not going, but because hes sorry that jack was hurt because of it.

“It’s okay, Eric, really,” Jack says, and hes so earnest that bitty believes he means it. “Anyway, what I wanted to say was, I think I didn’t clarify that when I asked you to sit down. You know. With our coffees. I sort of intended that to be. You know. Asking you out for coffee. Because I think you’re great.”

Bitty’s heart starts beating triple-time. His eyes turn to saucer plates. “This entire time, I was trying so hard to convince myself that you would never be into me!” he all but shouts. “I couldn’t deal with having a crush on a straight boy so I avoided the library like the plague.”

Jack blinks. “I never told you I was straight, Eric.” It’s not a reprimand, but it also totally is. Bitty puts his head in his hands.

“I thought I was being a fool for one thing,” he says, “but I was being a fool for something else entirely. I am so sorry, Jack.”

“You could make it up to me by letting me buy your coffee next time.”

Eric peeks at him through the gaps in his fingers. “Don’t try to fool me into thinking you’re smooth, Mr. Zimmermann. I know you too well.”

[this-brownie]

04.22.20

I have been harboring a lot of pain and anger feelings for jen in the back of my head for the last 10 years. When I see her in person, I feel so good that I don’t have a need to bring it up, but those negative feelings, eventually, always return. I finally decided to let it all go and explain to her how I felt— the first part is the letter I read to her over the phone and the second part are my own thoughts and recollection after the phone call.

Part 1:

Maybe you have your issues with me because of that period in high school but it was never to push YOU away. I won’t diminish the fact it was detrimental to you regardless, but I didn’t intentionally prioritize myself at your cost. That happened to be the result of my stupidity and lack of communication. When you left for college, it was hard but you kind of repeatedly put yourself over me and our friendship, and it took a toll. We came back together once you found more balance in your school life and started depending on me more when you and worth broke up. I eventually moved back to New York and you had your off year; that was one of my favorite years. I like you because I have fun with you and because I like to hear you talk. I have often been angry when you couldn’t make it for me, even if it wasn’t your fault, and it constantly remained in the back of my head. But then when I see you it’s like those feelings wash away, and I’m like oh thisss is why I love hanging out with her. When you left, it made me really distant, which was better than fighting with you, but it hollowed me out. You had Mo, you had your life, you were busy. I wasn’t unhappy for you but you didn’t need me or make me feel needed. When I eventually moved on from Caitlin to Ivan, he brought on this intense joy and intimacy that I hadn’t experienced since hs. He made me feel so loved, and so crazy. It consumed me. With Levi, my other friends, and often you I feel grounded. Good positive feelings, nothing crazy. He fucking riled me up so much. Eventually it overwhelmed me but it felt amazing while it lasted. And I remember being so angry with you because why couldn’t you just let me be happy? You were hurt that I left you and it frustrated me that I should consider your feelings once again over mine. Talking to you normally made me feel empty. You were so fucking busy, and I was so busy that i didn’t feel connected when we spoke. But with Ivan, I always felt so good. I always craved that. Why couldn’t you let me have that? Because it came at your expense?

We call each other best friends and the reason I say I don’t need you there for me everyday is because you haven’t always been there for me. The person I talk to everyday now is Levi, and maybe that’s why in your own way you can’t fully trust me. I understand that- the feeling of giving your all to someone who won’t give it back. I wouldn’t want to ask you to irrationally be there for me but there are ways to make me special, which I feel I’ve done for you such as birthdays. My last birthday was one of my favorites because you actually made it. I was hesitant in telling you to even come because I didn’t want to let myself hope. I would rather sabotage myself than be let down.

The things that I perceive important are different than what you want/or are used to giving. Literally the first time ever I got hurt by you was when i walked you home after SPI and wanted to come over to your house but you said no. Obviously I understood the reason, but at that time I was SO taken aback because I had never experienced that. I thought we were friends because we had been eating together and hanging out all the time that I didn’t understand why wouldn’t just tell your parents you wanted a friend over even if you were scared.

There’s been times in the past when you made me feel like utter shit. I’ve gone to bat with my mom in the past about you. I remember in college you told me that you couldn’t tell your mom about me because I wasn’t in school and “what’s there to really say”. you were afraid to stand up to your parents even tho I’m your best friend. I under at and it’s your personality and your life but it was painful. There was a point that, I don’t even think you were angry, but you said something like I was bad influence on you. And you said it off handed, not accusatory— you said that at the end of the day, it was still your actions— but that was hurtful. The reason I get pissed and jealous is because sometimes it feels like you do stuff for others that you don’t do for me. Like when Sarah came over to your place. Or that time we went to Brooklyn shuffle with mo and Naomi and you posted a picture of just you and her. I mentioned it and you called me Nadiya which aggravated tf out of me and effectively made me want to shut up. I know it was mostly irrational and not a big deal, but I was annoyed that I planned the meetup Cuz of my bday but you honored her. It was tiny, but still hurt me and made me feel little. (Yes I know you posted a pic of us for my actually birthday but that’s not the point).

The bachelorette thing annoyed me a lot how it happened, at the time, but when I look back it was actually almost perfect. Nadiya was the one who fucked everything up. And also me, for picking a shitty restaurant. But what annoyed me after was that you didn’t talk to Nadiya. You explained that because you don’t care for her as a friend anymore, and didn’t want to bring it up but I felt like I wasn’t prioritized in that situation. Like I was full of anger and just had to let it go without any resolve.

I rmmbr a few months ago Levi was away for work and I was feeling extremely low, and I asked you something like ‘what do you do for me’ and you responded by saying that it was shitty of me to keep count. I was feeling hormonal from the implant but it makes me feel lonely when i think you can depend on me but I can’t depend on you. I don’t ask a lot of you, or at least I try my best to not bother you too much, which is why it feels good when you do things for me on your own. When you show me that you’ve thought of me. There was this meme I saw that said “affection hit different when you don’t gotta ask for it” that’s how I feel, maybe that’s just me being spoiled idk

The thing is I’m oblivious which is why I like it when you tell me “this is what I did for you” bc it keeps me in check. If I’m constantly reminded you love me, then I don’t have to doubt it or be stuck in my own head. I know you show your love in less obviating ways but they mean so much. When you’re patient with me, I appreciate that a lot. I don’t like when you spend money on me. I love quality time. I love when you make me feel important. I often don’t feel like that which is why I bitch at you lol. It might all be in my head, but how can I be sure? I’m the only one thinking about it 🤔

I am bringing up all the things not because they necessarily bother me anymore but I want to stop holding on to all of it. Feel free to yell at me about the shit I’ve done to you too, I know there’s been a lot. But I do love you, even if we just love each other differently. Even if you don’t post as many pics of me on your IG as I’d like, and I don’t like the pics you do post of me🤦🏽‍♀️ I cant help compare myself to your other friends. Why do they get better captions than me🙄 why do you cook for them and not me. Why do I always compare myself to them and feel like I’m on the losing end. I know this side of me is crazy which is why I like to keep it hidden. I know that you actually do love me (I think). But I feel I’m constantly thinking about how I personally can make you feel good. How to be reliable. How to be there for you. Like that weekend when you were upset about Aaron not responding and him possibly canceling the date. I knew you were in a shit mood so i wanted to do everything in my power to make you feel happy and wanted. To stock the house, and cool for you, and spend money on you, and call your friend and surprised you so that you can cheer up. I know you don’t care for grand gestures and you never ask this of me, but i like to do it and telling myself to *stop* doing it will make me feel dead inside. It’s unfair to put that standard on you and tbh I don’t want that, but I love feeling loved. Talk to me and validate me and make me feel like your present in my life.

I know this is all sounding one sided but you have done a LOT for me through out the years too. I think I’m less mean and crazy with you now than I used to be. You’ve exerted a lot of patience and leniency with me, especially though high school but also after college. Like when we travel and I used to go crazy planning, you bear with me. I remember I used to make you read my long ass college essays even though your probably didn’t fucking want to. You giving me meaningful gifts that you thought I would appreciate. You’ve tried your best to keep up with me— to give me my space when thats what I asked for, to be understanding when that’s what I needed, to put up with my childish, demanding, anal ways. Those qualities haven’t gone unnoticed by me.

I also know that you’ve grown up more and are more aware of my emotions. I know you’re not clingy to the point that you’ll be extremely upset if I’m busy. You take my feelings seriously, and when you point our flaws in me I also try to take them seriously and improve them. Ive come to terms with knowing there won’t be a lot of interactions with you, but at least they can be memorable when they do take place. But that has to be mutual. You’re depending on me more now because of the Eric situation which is fine but I’m hesitant to let myself be fully vulnerable. youll get back to your med school life, and eventually find a boyfriend and it’ll be back to being distant. It’s not ideal, but that’s life. You won’t really need me or pull at me. We’re adults so it manageable but it’s not such a pleasant feeling. I guess I am afraid of feeling used and then being left to tend to myself up until when you need me again

I won’t have any crazy expectations. I don’t want to burden you with all this, just want to communicate my feelings because sometimes it easier for me to clam up. I was thinking maybe I need to start asking you the questions that I would like for you to ask me. That way you can get an idea of the things that I like to talk about along with what we already discuss. I don’t want to keep repeating, to you, that maybe you’re not talking to me the way I would like. It makes you feel like there’s something wrong with how you’re communicating to me, rather than how I prefer things. And it’s always better to show, than tell.

Part 2:

I read my letter to her on the phone and she listened and agreed. I don’t know if I told you, maybe I mentioned it briefly, there was a period in hs after parker and I broke up, that I went mia for a week. Jen and I have been talking obsessively at that point so for me to just black out, and leave her in the dark like that took a huge toll on her. She realized that ‘I’m my own person, and I have a life without her’ so in college she tried to become more independent, to the point that she shut me out. I felt really betrayed because we had told ourselves we would still be super close and things wouldn’t change blah blah. But it felt like she knew they were going to change and she kept it to herself. Side note, although I was mia for that week, this was like first semester 12th grade— afterwards we were the “same” still continued to talk everyday, every moment like nothing changed. But her heart had changed and she never really let me knew how badly it impacted her. In college we were separated because she had to study 24/7 to get into med school and I was dealing with the horrors of my own life. In her spring semester of junior year, we had a huge fight where I told her that she’s always unavailable and hasn’t been a good friend. Things changed a little after that, we started talking more regularly but still sparse. I don’t have a lot of memories of us from that period, but I did hold a lot of pain. As college ended for her, she broke up with her toxic ex and started talking to me more. Not obsessively, but much more than we used to and in the manner a best friend would like calling me at 2am bc she’s sad and can’t sleep and staying on the phone with me all night even tho I had work the next day. I did that because I knew she was hurting, and I was in a better place, and I liked that she was depending on me again.

The next year was her off year and I moved back to nyc from Boston so we spent that entire year together and it was one of my favorites. We finally got to spend the time and do the things we wanted to do together since college. Went out to eat, explored new places, but it wasn’t perfect bc we couldn’t go clubbing since she was still scared of her parents. There were issues during this period tho, where she made me feel like shit- I couldn’t come over to her house bc I wasn’t in school therefore she had nothing good to say about me to her parents. It was hurtful. When she left for med school I had become clingy again and felt her absence deeply- instead of being bitter like I was in college I decide to outsource. I became close to Caitlin and we started doing all the crazy things Jen wasn’t able to do. Like staying out until 5am, doing coke, binge drinking. I was always angry at Jen in the back of my mind for not being there for me, but rationally knew that neither of us had a choice. After a year or so, my husband moved to SF, Caitlin started becoming crazy and super unreliable, and jen was busier than ever bc of school and *also* whenever she would come to visit nyc, her bf only made her hangout with him. We WOULD talk but it felt so casual that it drained me. I hated it, I felt so empty from it. I know some people would say that at least there was contact/effort there but it wasn’t enough for me. I was working and in school full time and it was hard bc I felt I couldn’t depend on anyone.

Eventually Ivan came into my life and it was a whirlwind. It consumed me, I was so fucking happy. Too happy— I started (unintentionally) talking to jen less and less bc I was so overwhelmed. She told me last night there were long stretches of me and her not talking, up to an entire month at one point. I honestly can’t even recall that. All I rmmbr is Ivan. She felt betrayed again and it triggered that similar pain from hs. Became emotionally distant, but then once she and Eric broke up, she propelled into my arms yet again and started depending on me emotionally. It sucked for me bc yeah I’m here for her but it felt she only reached out when she needed ME but I can’t reach her when I need her. Because I have to just be okay with the fact that there will be times when shes unavailable but it’s unacceptable if I’m too busy.

In my letter I basically told her I don’t feel cared for when we talk bc she’s not vulnerable with me which makes me feel not valued. As a friend, she’s great but as a bffl she’s not cutting it. I also said that she’s going to leave for residency and I don’t trust that we won’t be distant again, so I don’t want to fully invest myself. She told me my feelings are valid and that she’s been holding onto that pain from hs for a long time subconsciously and it’s affected her actions towards me. She essentially told me she doesn’t trust me bc she has a fear that I can leave at any moment and so won’t allow herself to be that vulnerable and clingy with me. I thought about that- and I agree it has been unfair to her. Just because I’m obsessive and crazy doesn’t mean I have the right to cut her off bc I feel like she’s not there enough. As an adult I have to understand that. To just drop off all communication like that, of course it’s going to have an effect. She agreed that we should have talked about the hs thing 10 fucking years ago instead of now. I think ultimately it would have been the same— I would have always felt bitterly jealous that she’s away busy doing stuff with other people. For me, there is no amount of talking or texting we could do that would replace an in person relationship. And sadly, there’s no way to sustain the relationship we had in hs. For her, it’s physically not possible and for me it’s not emotionally a good idea. Im very 0 to a 100 and that’s not how adults should be. She told me that it would probably be a good idea for me stay guarded and not extremely clingy as she goes off to her residency because we would be distant. I feel better talking to her and getting every thing off my chest esp bc I got to hear her side. I understand now why she acts the way she does, which makes me not harbor negative feelings for her.