#gotta admit i wanna fuck him silly

[rexscanonwife]

Hi. I'm unwell.

[katszumi]

bakugou hated defeat. he was never one to forfeit anything. if he could challenge the ocean to a battle, he would and sincerely believe he’d win.

once, he admits defeat to the universe and chooses to let you slip through his fingers.

when he began to fall in love with your sweet manner, delicate touch, warm smile and witty behavior, he also began to hate himself.

he hated the way he was when it came to feelings. he knew he wasn’t able to express his emotions like a good boyfriend should. he was intolerable, insufferable. something that couldn’t have mixed with you.

love was a foreign concept to him, something he couldn’t grasp but something he desperately wished for deep down, no matter how many times he brushed it off or ridiculed the idea.

bakugou knew love wasn’t designed for him, and he wasn’t ever going to let his silly imagination deceive him otherwise.

but, he knows his heart never stands a chance. especially tonight when he finds you on the terrace of ua. the night-sky wrapped the area in its darkness, the crescent moon illuminating the brightest color it could, and the silent night bringing the greatest solitude it could.

bakugou attempts to leave you be, but your eyes find him faster than he originally thought, him being pulled into your magnetic, overwhelming aura.

“hey,” he begins, a slight waver in his voice from his nerves. “not enjoyin’ the party inside?”

you chuckle slightly, waving his question off. “just needed some air.”

bakugou nods in response. he folded his arms over the railing, taking in the scenery around them.

it was the last night for the third years at ua, everyone celebrating their triumphs, losses, friendships. it was the last time they’d be within this building all together, the last time bakugou could silently admire you from afar. he’d always think about his last day there, wondering if he’d be shouting from excitement. he wasn’t close to thinking that he’d feel like his whole world was coming down.

you were planning to travel to the united states to start your hero debut, receiving an offer there that you just couldn’t pass up. he remembered the moment when you told him so vividly. you wore a huge smile, basically jumping out of excitement. that was the first time bakugou came to the realization that he couldn’t have you.

truth be told, he was scared of breaking paths with you. anger, sorrow, fear. you shone a light on all of those emotions. it felt like his anchor was gone. breaking every stable piece off of him one by one.

“so, what’s next for you? don’t think you ever told me your plan.”

in his head, bakugou replies with, that was on purpose. he wanted to remove everything from his mind. go with the flow and live in the moment until it was officially time to get started on his new path of life. but, he figured there was no more time to put it off.

“stay in the city for a bit. kirishima talked about collaboratin’ on an agency, so been givin’ that some consideration.” he replies somberly. “i don’t know really, just gotta find something to keep me busy.”

you echoed bakugou’s action from earlier, nodding to his statement. a small sigh parted your lips, partly from exhaustion, but also from sadness.

“you scared?” it came out as a whisper, as if it was a taboo subject to never touch on, and frankly it was when it came to bakugou.

he waited to respond, pausing for as long as he could before the silence turned uncomfortable.

“yeah.” something so simple but spoke so much considering bakugou would never admit such a thing. “you’ll be okay though. you got an offer some of us wish we could have, and i heard the states has good job opportunities.”

“i don’t wanna go.” first it came out as a mumble, bakugou unsure if he just understood the words that came out of your mouth.

“what?”

“i don’t want to go.” this time, your voice was much more stern.

“the fuck you talkin’ about? you’ve been excited for this shit the day you got the letter, now you don’t wanna go? as if.” he was aware that he came off a little too defensive, mostly to shield his heart from catching a little bit of hope, he didn’t mean to come at you so harshly.

you peeled your eyes away from him, purposely avoiding his eye contact. looking at him seemed more like receiving a scolding from a parent more than anything right now.

“i mean, the united states? i’ll be there alone, no family, no friends. it’s not the money or opportunities i’m concerned about, bakugou. it’s about my happiness.” you explained. “isn’t that something you’re thinking about too?”

bakugou weighs his options. he thinks he has nothing else to lose, but he also considers the fact of you breaking his heart even more than it is. besides, you were smart, he knew you were going to take the offer anyway no matter how bad your nerves were eating you up.

“you can’t think with your heart about things like this, y/n.” he knows he’s an asshole. he knows you’re looking to him for the reassurance you want to hear but he just can’t give it.

“i’m not! i just want to be happy doing the things i love and that’s not possible in an environment i cant stand to be in.”

“you don’t know that yet.”

“i’m getting a pretty good feeling.”

“because you’re scared.”

you shrug, “so what? you don’t know how i feel. you’ll be here with your mom, dad, and all of your friends. i’ll have to start over from scratch in a country i know nothing about.”

he scoffed, his eyes darting away from your figure. “right because you know exactly how i feel.” his tone bled with sarcasm.

“you don’t tell me how you feel for anything, so sorry for taking an educated guess.” you retorted.

“you never ask to begin with.”

“as if you’d even tell me. you think i haven’t noticed you avoiding me these past couple of weeks? you don’t even talk to me anymore.”

now the roles reversed, you stared at him, bakugou not daring to look into your eye.

he shifted in his position, beginning to become uncomfortable. he replayed in his mind what he should’ve done moments ago instead of coming to speak to you.

“nothing to say?” you were playing with fire, not caring that you were poking the bear. “guess that’s not anything new. you just do whatever you want, say whatever you wish without thinking of the other person, because you’re ‘katsuki bakugou’. the man who cares about none other than the title of being the number one hero.”

“that’s not fuckin’ true and you know it.” he snaps his head towards you.

“do i?” your eyes searched his. “maybe a few months ago i would’ve, but you’ve been treating me like an outcast recently. i thought i mattered to you! i thought we were something!”

“what do you want me to say here?”

“i want you to be honest.”

bakugou clenched his teeth, his jaw sharpening from the action. of course he wanted to be with you, there was no other girl that he could imagine being with. but it just couldn’t work. you weren’t made to be with a monster, and he didn’t deserve to enjoy something so sweet as you.

so, bakugou opted to refuse the truth once again, brushing her off.

“you’re just too good for me.” he simply replies. “don’t waste your potential here. go to america.”

bakugou takes no more time to indulge in your erratic behavior, so he leaves you at the terrace, the noise of the party being heard the moment he opened the side door.

he wanted you more than anything. if the universe loved him a little more, then maybe things between you two would work out. but because of his shitty luck and vexatious attitude, you two just didn’t match.

he also knew there was just someone you were bound to fall in love with in america.

bakugou wasn’t going to lead you on to make a stupid decision. even if that meant destroying himself in the process.

the morning after, your name wasn’t to be found on any of his socials, and his messages to you turned green. if he didn’t know before, then he definitely knew now that he burned anything he had with you.

pt two

[wtftaylr]

I love Companion Benny. I love the idea that he gets huffy-puffy and “just a little” jealous if you switch him out for another companion. He simply cannot cope with the fact that you’d toss him aside like yesterday’s trash for… what, some scribe in rags? A boring-ass first recon guy? A vaquero ghoul? (ok he thinks Raul is kinda cool actually but he won’t openly admit that)?? Benny has STORIES, baby. Interest. Intrigue. You wanna know all the juicy strip gossip? Guess what, you CANT now because you DISMISSED him. How DARE you.

Benny is VERSATILE, baby. His tagged skills are guns, melee, and unarmed. Good luck finding another companion that can do what he can. Yeah Craig “Frowns” Boone can headshot a cazador from a million yards away or whatever, *mumbling* show-off, he would’ve seen that cazador eventually *end mumbling* but Benny can shoot, stab, AND punch. Hey courier, watch this. I’m gonna punch the fuck out of this deathclaw. He does it (you gotta administer a few stimpaks) BUT HE DID IT. And he was only at half health. 400+ health honeybaby, Benny can take a few whacks from those deathclaw freaks. What was that? Showing off? Benny doesn’t have to show off, sugar plum. He’s just that good.

He also won’t complain that his feet are getting tired. Yeah he’ll complain about minor inconveniences and wants you to do something about them regardless if you realistically can or not, but at least he’ll walk miles upon miles in a day and not complain. He also won’t complain about going back to the Lucky 38. (he’ll just complain about not being able to get in there before the Courier showed up.) What, no one else complains about their feet hurting? Uhhhh BOOT-RIDERS. Silly name. But that’s how they rode the Mojave, dig? On their feet. He’s done this before. Experienced.

AND ANOTHER THING. how many companions shout words of encouragement during a fight. Go on. He’s waiting.

You’re doing great, baby! Show these punk losers what you got!!

I bet all the caps in Vegas you’ll miss that while getting shot to shit by the Fiends or whatever. Grumble. Benny hopes you come back in one piece, of course. He’d just rather see to it himself that you remain in one piece. Uhh BECAUSE HE’S JUST THAT GR-

(The courier left with their choice of companion hours ago. Swank is trying to work but Benny won’t stop gabbing his ear off. Dear god Benny just go be the Head of The Chairmen somewhere else. Swank is trying to do actual work here.)

[buckgasms]

Trailer park bucky but the window in your bedroom is broken with the frame all cracked so you really cold no matter what :( he starts noticing that your sleeping on the tiny built in table thing instead of your bed and offers to take a look at the window for you so he can fix it. In the mean time he sees this as an opportunity because he cannot allow you to sleep on a table while the window is being fixed! Come over to his trailer... it has a bigger bed and plenty of room.

Nonnie yeeeeeeeees. Thank yoooou!

You get it and I love it.

Like Bucky can fix that shit in minutes by why rush it when he's got silly you who believes anything he tells you, especially when it comes to DIY.

So he says it's not good to be sleeping in the cold and the pull out table bed is no good for his pretty girl. So you gotta come and stay at his...

And he's so insistent he doesn't even let you grab anything he just pushes you out the door and tells you to grab him a beer.

He then helps himself to your underwear drawer, pulling out the skimpiest nightie you have. He grins as he hears you grumbling outside before pocketing the dress.

Oh and when he gives you your nightie, he tries to be cool but he can't help but grin when he sees your eyes widen at it.

"Bucky! Why did you pick this one? You may as well not have picked one at all"

He presses up against you and brushes your cheek with his thumb. "That's still an option babydoll..."

And are you pretending that you aren't sleeping with him that night? You climb under the blankets and shut your eyes as if you are going to sleep, fully aware that he's about to get out of the shower and your body is humming with anticipation.

And even though you shouldn't you can't help but squint as he comes out of the bathroom, shorts hanging reaaaal low on his waist, his broad chest damp from his shower. You hate yourself for the little whimper, which of course he hears.

"You hiding? I wanna see that pretty nightie baby, at least let me see it once before I take it off ya."

You scoff, "I'm going to sleep Bucky, isnt that why I'm here?"

He chuckles, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arms around you, dragging you into his chest and pressing kisses to your shoulder. "Don't be dumb baby. You know exactly what's gonna happen tonight. But if you wanna play, we can play...."

His hands slip into your underwear and slide between your folds. He moans in your ear as he feels how soaked you are. "Such a silly girl yknow? Always pretending you ain't bothered." He slides his thick finger inside you and you keen, dropping your head back onto his shoulder. "Why not just admit you want me to fuck you dumb huh? I don't mind. I'll never say no to my honey bee."

Crying

[missetbilu]

KEEPING A CLOSE EYE*

perv!fred weasley x fem!reader, smut

when fred overhears you and the girls chit chatting about boys that you fancy, he can’t keep his mind from wandering, nor his hand.

warnings: perv concept, jerking off

"Come on, Y/N, there's gotta be someone you fancy." Ginny elbowed you, trying to get a response.

Angelina, Hermione, Ginny and yourself were in your favorite little spot in the library. A very secluded area, where you could study, sneak in some food, talk, without prying eyes or ears.

Although in that afternoon, you were not very much enjoying the topic of choice. Boys. Too shy to come clean about your little crush, you would much rather gossip or even focus on the charms essay due next week than engage in the conversation. But the girls were not having it.

"Yeah, even Hermione admitted to being completely, head over heels, in love with Ron." Angelina teased.

"Hey!" The girl blushed and looked away for a second, but curiosity got the best of her and she gave in to the argument. "She's right tho, you're the only one left."

"I just don't think of any guy here like that."

"In this castle full of boys, you expect me to believe not even a single one of them is your type?" Ginny said.

"Unless you're into girls."

"I'm not." You laughed at Angelina's curious expression. "I like men."

"Then name one you would" Hermione stopped herself mid sentence, suddenly a bit shy, "...you know."

"Fuck?" Angelina completed her thought and they all laughed, Hermione also shushing her and looking around to make sure they were alone.

"Alright." You took a deep breath and tried to sound as nonchalant as you possibly could. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

"Aw dude, are you serious?" Ginny's disappointment was so clear in her face that the three other girls bursted out laughing.

"Shhh, guys, I don't wanna get kicked out." Hermioned said between giggles.

"Sorry, babe, but this was too good not to laugh at." Angelina responded, still chuckling.

"Too good? All my friends wanna fuck my brothers."

And you all fell into laughter again.

-

It had been a week since Fred discovered that spot of yours to hang out. Whenever you and the girls disappeared from his sight, he would get anxious, wondering where you might be.

Until the day he was looking for a potions book, but found something far better: you.

He managed to hide in the corridor next to the one where the group of girls would sit on the floor and chit chat. Usually he took no interest in the conversations you would have. But not that day. Throughout the whole week he listened to each silly subject the girls brought up, only paying attention to the sound of your angelic voice when you made a comment. That day it was different. Once the tables turned from homework to guys you fancied, Fred felt his heart skip a beat.

He was nervous, his palms becoming sweaty as each of the girls rambled about one boy after the other. He barely listened to the guys his sister brought up, nor to the mentions of his brothers. What mattered most to him was what you were going to say. He was so afraid of hearing another man's name fall out of your pretty lips; so afraid you would confess to feeling attracted to someone else.

But he was also infatuated with the possibility of his name being the one in your mind. You quietly listened to what your friends had to say, too scared to say something yourself, Fred saw that in your expression as he tried to eye your figure from the place where he was hiding. Just thinking about it, being him the person you kept yourself from mentioning, made his trousers feel a bit too tight. His hand travelled down to his growing bulge, but he didn't move it, he didn't want to risk not hearing you.

Your silence allowed his imagination to run wild. Maybe this whole thing got her thinking about how good I would fuck her, and she's afraid of sharing those filthy thoughts. He stroked his cock once, over the fabric of his clothes. Or perhaps she's so lost in the desire of getting filled up with my cum, she didn't even notice how quiet she's been... oh fuck... He did it again and had to hold back a moan.

Fred knew he shouldn’t, but it was as if he had no control over his actions. His hand slipped past his boxers and he stroked his dick, trying so hard to imagine it was you doing it.

Has she ever had a wet dream with me? He wondered. She would wake up sweaty and out of breath. Her panties are completely damp, but it's not because of the sweat, it's arousal. I bet she would be embarrassed, looking around the dorm to see if the other girls are sleeping, before she goes under the covers and... He gasps quietly, his hands going a bit faster now. And she lets her hand touch her dripping cunt... He bites his lip to stop himself from cursing. Her sweet fingers would tease her clit and she wouldn't be able to stop a moan of my name from coming out.

"Alright." When the word left your mouth he slowed down his movement, focusing on the head of his member. It was almost painful the way he teased his tip, trying to pay attention to what you were about to say. He even held his breath, that and the expectation making him even more sensitive. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

Fred was really thankful for the loud laughter of the group that followed your confession, because the minute he heard your sugary voice saying his name, it was too much. He came in his hand with a low grunt.

He didn't listen to anything said after that. He didn't move or took his hand off of his trousers. He was in shock. As much as he wanted that outcome, it felt unreal now that it happened. He had imagined how you would sound saying you fancied him, what words you would choose and what exactly would be the look on your face. But none of it compared to the reality of it all.

You, such a perfect picture of beauty, intelligence, kindness. The most incredible, endearing and angelical woman he had ever set his eyes upon, out of all people, wanted him.

Fred waited until you all had left to pick himself up from his spot on the floor and attempt to use some spells and his robes to hide the stain in his pants. He did a good job, it wasn't too noticeable, but deep down he didn't care. There was something, or rather someone, much more important in his mind.

He stood in front of the corridor where you had been just a few minutes before. "I guess Fred is kind of cute." That played in his head over and over again, like a broken record. And Fred definitely didn't want to fix it.

[oneforthemunny]

evie babeee are you still accepting blurbs? kinda wanna see hockey!eddie, smut/fluff, giggly sex pleaaaaase 🥹❤️ i am yearning for him he is such a loverboy i will cry

i love a giggly, sweet, silly loverboy and will never say no to this!!! minors dni.

Your hand pressed forward against the tile, nails digging into the grout, back arching further with each roll and snap of Eddie's hips into you. The water from the shower head spilled down Eddie's broad shoulders, trickling down his arms and splattering over your back.

A small huff of laughter slipped out with a grunting moan. You ignored it at first, rocking your own hips back carefully to meet Eddie's thrusts, a wet smack echoing off the shower walls when his skin slapped against yours.

Eddie's moan floated out with another giggle. You could feel him getting distracted by something, strokes far less rhythmic and slowing. You turned, looking over your shoulder at him. "What?"

Eddie's lips pulled in a tight grin. "Nothin', sorry."

"No, what's funny?" You hummed straightening up, feet shuffling to plant firmer on the ground.

Eddie ran a hand through his wet curls, pushing them back. "It's nothing. It's just, like, where the water's coming down, it's going right where I touch you, so every time I fuck you it's splashing back up." He grinned. "It's like a little fountain every time I fuck you. Like a little water gun. It pops up and spurts everywhere."

You lifted a brow, your own giggle leaving your lips. "What?"

"Look," Eddie's hands found your hips again, one on your tummy to steady you while you watched. He pulled out, pushing back into you with a stroke that had your eyes rolling back, moaning in pleasure.

"You missed it!" Eddie clicked his tongue, giggling at you playfully.

"Sorry, sorry." You shuddered around a breathy laugh. "Don't go as hard. I'll watch."

Eddie nodded, pulling out but pushing into you less deep, enough that you could see what had amused him. A squelch and pop of water jumping when your skin met.

You couldn't help the laugh that left you. It was silly? So fucking silly. "See?" Eddie laughed. "I got distracted. I was trying to see how high I could get it."

You shook your head at him. "You're an idiot." You laughed at him. "Distracted by water?"

"It was cool!" Eddie laughed. "You gotta admit it was cool. Admit it was cool."

You rolled your eyes, standing fully, turning towards him. "It was kinda funny." You shook your head. "But let's do it this way. That way you don't get distracted." You give him a playful glare, hand snaking between the two of you, slowly pumping his length.

Eddie's head tipped back, eyes closed letting the stream from the shower fall over him, your hand pleasuring him, bringing him back to you.

[girlfromflor]

56 DAYS (sjy) | what's jake like?

summary: literally just a headcanon about jake and what inspired me to write him the way i did. read the prequel and part one.

pairing: enemie!jake x fem!reader

warnings: brief mentions of sex and things related to it (so please minors do not interact): mating press, angry sex?, praising, and riding

playlist: 56 days.

a/n: i'm so excited about this fic, but since i haven't finished writing it yet and have sooo many ideas i decided to do this to overcome my silly write block. also, let me know if you want to be in the taglist for 56 days when i post it♡♡♡

so, this jake was essentially based on 'let go' by galimatias (the song is in the playlist for the fic)

the song starts with two main lines: "it's the way i fell when you looked at me so tender" followed by "how i miss your breathing on my neck when i enter"

and just like that that's how we see jake, at first at least

he is confident and cocky, yes, but he's also caring selfless and loving

especially with reader, he's all about you

he's much more himself when he's around her, even if he's overflowing with cockiness

cause he is flirty and all that, but he just really wants to make you laugh most of the time

or get on you nerves and watch the roll of your eyes

next, there's a line that goes "but still the thought of you is the prettiest thing that i own" and that's LITERALLY jake's essence in this

he's so in love and so determined to make it happen

he thinks the IDEA of you is just so lovable

he wants to worship you 9 out of 10 times

the remaining 1 he just wants to fight you a little bit

for making him crave you so bad, for teasing him and for entertaining the idea that he would be okay with all the tension

but he WOULD NEVER fight you for having an attitude

and there's where we go for the next song: "do you like me?" by daniel caeser (also in the playlist)

starting with "do you like the way i talk to you? do i titillate your mind?" is literally how jake you'd talk to you with he ever got the chance do flirt – really flirt – with you

the next line "gotta say i like your attitude and i'd to make you mine" is something jake you'd never admit, but he relates so bad

he's all for the little angry outburst you'd give him if he really stressed you, and everytime without fail it does something with his heart (and dick)

maybe it's cause anger is the closest to a showcase of emotion he gets from you, and he gets off on it

sometimes he imagines you on top of him, nails scratching his chest and you riding him in a steady, breathtaking, and cruel rhythm

if he opens his mouth to tease you further you'd shove your fingers in his mouth

maybe you'd be mean, but he likes to think he'd get you to be soft saying "be good for me, baby, just wanna hear your pretty moans"

but sometimes he imagines the whole opposite

sometimes he just imagines himself fucking the attitude right out of you

your legs folded in the meanest mating press, he'd absolutely wreck you while his fingers drew little circles on your clit

and when you finally give up on the attitude and start begging for him to cum he'd say "knew you you'd be good for me, pretty girl"

his aftercare would be all about kisses and sweet nothings whispered in your ear

he just really wants to do everything that's possible with you

and that means he'd try everything to get what he wants – you

a/n: i read this again and omg it had so many mistakes i'm shocked

[sylveon-and-velveon]

Oh God can we please see what the slashers would do if you played 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' from Grease? Just in time for Valentines Day 🥺🥺🥺

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! For couples and singles {like me lol}

OMG yes! I loved watching Grease as a kid!! AFTER MAKING THIS: Should say somehow half of these became "love language" responses- I follow you, hol' up

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD We besties if you give me Cupcakke remixes-

OG Michael Myers

It's giving lovesick, it's giving obsessed, it's giving "I'm not leaving you"

Well for Michael anyway-

He'd probably take the song a little too seriously, and think you're never gonna ever leave him.

He's never been the best at romance

Blame where he was "raised" for over a decade-

RZ Michael Myers

Just as much in the "never been good with romance" department

But hey, the music isn't loud and obnoxious so he doesn't mind as much to the music you're playing

Especially since it's not as vulgar like.... last time you played music around him

You music player lives to see another day!!

Brahms Heelshire

He sees it as a love language, that you're using music to properly show your love for him without feeling uncomfortable throughout it all

Yep, that's my new headcannon now. His love language is through music. Especially with pianos

He hears you playing that? Oh his heart is MELTING right then there!! He's gonna be giving you cuddles for DAYS after hearing that

Someone make this love language canon please-

Jason Voorhees

Imagine if his mom used to listen to this song?

Bringing him memories. Bittersweet ones probably

Unless you headcannon his mom's still alive, then just sweet

Unless you have a sad headcannon about his mom then you fucked either way mate TvT

But anyway, it brings him memories and he's enjoying the music with you

I kinda went on a Pamela rant there- XD

Billy Lenz

A little confused but he got the spirit

He ain't understanding a lot of it until he hears iconic line from the song

Then he running over to you and is NEVER letting you go

But he still confused

But he trying TvT

Freddy Kreuger

Okay.... here me out:

Yeah the dude will be ridiculous with goofy ass music

But with romantic related songs?

...

So you know how he has one hand that isn't covered with the glove?

And no, you're not getting anymore context to my thought process-

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Short and sweet, they'd both love it

Billy's calm about it, while Stu is just like a big doggy. Oh- he is SO happy!!

Billy ain't gonna stop him, it's a good song. And it makes the both of you happy

What's to complain?

Thomas Hewitt

Takes him a few seconds to understand the implications of this song but when he does he's gonna give you a big ass hug

Bone crushing? Probably-

It's Thomas, he'd probably accidently do it-

But he still loves you

Even if he accidently puts you in a wheelchair

Bubba Sawyer

Yeah you gotta explain the song, poor guy highly wouldn't understand the meaning

Or he would... but BARELY-

You gotta explain what the song's about, when he finally does understand he's gonna be so in love with you.

And the song

Like a little confession song... weird choice for a confession song. But you do you-

Harry Warden

A little old fashioned but he understands the song is romantic-esc

He'd vibe to song, bounce his head along to the beat a little

Tap his feet to beat as well, maybe change back and forth between the two

He's never watched the movie before but now the song makes him want to watch the movie

Specifically with you ^^

Tiffany Valentine

She's watched the movie, but she doesn't wanna admit it

But the second, THE SECOND, she hears you playing that song

Ohhhhhhhhhhh you two are singing that song together with no shame

It's her guilty pleasure song, but knowing that you listen to this song now makes her more confident!

Hell yeah!!!

[skullvgirl]

language barriers | barou

incl. a very confused barou shouei ᡣ𐭩

warnings. fem reader, fluff, suggestive dialogue, established relationship, ooc

an's. bold letter is your native language & japaneese

10:32 AM

"shouei" you called. your boyfriend came almost immediately, although he wasn't far.

"we should try this" you handed him your phone, letting the video of a couple speaking in their native languages as a challenge play.

he raised an eyebrow and gave you back your phone.

"why would we wanna do that, i don't speak (native language) and you don't speak japaneese"

"uhh, tuh-eyeah—that's the point silly, come on we should do it, it'll only be for today and tomorrow!"

barou thought too himself for a moment,

"and we can see who can go the longest without cracking, i call dibs on going first!"

and then eventually.

"sure why not"

"yes!"

11:36 AM

"shouei, give me the remote", you asked politely, motioning for him to give you the object.

your boyfriend stared curiously at you for a moment before you asked again, only this time in a more demanding tone.

"the remote shouei, right next to you" you started pointing at the black box, smiling because of how innocent he looked at the moment.

a look of revelation crossed his face before finally, "this?" he asked unsure of himself, but he was picking up the right thing.

"yes," you nodded your head, "bring it here please", you held your hand out and waited for barou to cross the room.

"sit down" you said, patting the open space next to you and he did so immediately, staring directly into your eyes as a way to show he understood you.

aw, he's so cute like this...maybe ill tease him a bit

"good boy" you purred, linking arms with him on the couch, occasionally glancing over at him and commenting on the movie playing. he nodded his head like he understood you but you were sure he didn't.

"shouei" he turned his head, he understood that.

" am i saying right now?" he began to nod his head again but quickly stopped as the grin on your face grew.

he bit his lip instead , his eyebrows knitting together to form a concentrated look on his face. "uhm...i don't...i"

you giggled at his reluctantly to say the word. "what you don't know? come on tell me love, what aren't you getting hm?"

barou blushed at your words, he didn't know much of ( native language ) but he did know one thing : pet names, and this one was the easiest to remember.

love? he thought. is she saying she loves me?

wow, this was more frustrating that he thought, he regrets not putting any of his own conditions on the game beforehand.

well its no use now might as well give it a go...

"i love you too, yn...?" you burst out laughing and his face began to turn red. you began speaking again but it was reduced to gibberish and nonsense because of how little ( native language ) he knew.

gosh, i really gotta learn some ( native language ) one day...this is killing me

"shouei you're so sweet you know that? the best boyfriend in the world in my opinion"

the confused look on barou's face persisted and he couldn't even read your body language properly because of one: how much you were giggling and two: you were staring directly into his eyes, not to mention a third thing, three : ( although he doesn't like admitting it ) you made him quite nervous sometimes. right now was definitely one of those times.

his heart picked up speed.

"fuck, i can't, i give up, talk to me baby whatter you saying?"

he broke, holding your hands in his, lookimg just as deeply into your eyes as you were his. you touched foreheads.

"oh i don't know, what am i saying shou? something good i hope" you grinned cheeckily.

his face was troubled, but only for a moment. he had an idea.

"fine, you're being that way?" and before you could say any more you were suddenly seeing the couch cushions with your hands held securely behind your back.

"guess im gonna have to force it out of you", barou began lifting your shirt, twirling his fingers featherlight on your skin.

fuck, you didn't know any japanese, what was be saying. "wait wait wait, okay im sorry you win"

"nahh...i dont think so...what goes around comes back around sweetheart, sorry"

fuck, you really didn't know japanese !

an's. this isnt sexual btw, yn got tickled to death.

[vivwritesfics]

Magic Mike

Say hello to stripper Bob! Except, he wasn't supposed to be a stripper. No, he was supposed to be a magician, was supposed to be doing silly card tricks to impress his fellow patrons at The Hard Deck.

Bob Floyd would never admit it, but his magician act was to pick up women. Milfs, to be more precise.

It was Jakes idea. He came up with the name and the concept after Bob started doing his magic act at The Hard Deck. It has just been a few card tricks then, but it has blossomed. That night, Magic Mike was born.

For a good long while, it was just a joke for whenever Bob pulled out his magic tricks at The Hard Deck. It was never meant to build up to anything more.

But then Jake was snogging this girl, his hand up her skirt. "Wanna come back to mine?" He asked between kisses.

The girl pouted as she pulled away. "I can't," she mumbled as she ran her hands through his hair. "I gotta go and arrange the stripper for my friends bachelorette party tomorrow."

Part of Jake wasn't to strip off his shirt and offer his services. A room full of tipsy, probably hot women? You couldn't really blame the guy.

But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something. Bob pulling a coin from behind Penny's ear. "I have a friend," he blurted out. "He'd be happy to offer his services."

"What about you, big boy?" She asked, slipping her hand beneath his shirt to feel the hard muscle underneath.

Jake shook his head. "I can't tomorrow, but my friend in the real deal, I swear."

"What's his name?" She asked as she pulled away from him.

"Magic Mike."

***

Bob nervously stood outside of the house. A magician for a bachelorette party? It seemed too good to be true, like Jake was fucking with him.

But he knocked on the door anyway.

As soon as he did, Bob knew it was a mistake. Jake was definitely fucking with him.

But then the door was pulled open and a rather pretty woman stood in front of him. "Magic Mike?" She asked, holding her pink gin and tonic.

Bob swallowed the lump in his throat. "That's me," he said, his best tricks at the ready.

A sly smile crossed her face and she pulled him inside. "Alright, ladies!" She shouted as she shut the door behind him. "I want you to give a warm welcome to Magic Mike!"

There was a collective cheer, one that had him blushing. "Hi, everyone," he said, just holding back a stutter as he stepped forward. "I'm Magic Mike and I'm here to do some tricks foe you."

"HELL YEAH DO SOME TRICKS!"

When he pulled the deck of cards from his pocket, their faces fell. "I-I know that some people think card tricks are outdated, but I think they're the perfect way to warm up.

"Take your pants off!" One of the women shouted.

Bob's eyes went wide behind his glasses. "W-what?!"

The ladies in the room quietened down. "You're Magic Mike, right?" The one who let him in asked. "The stripper Alisons hookup recommended?"

"Stripper?!"

The women were all still staring at him. "You're not a stripper," one of them deduced. You're literally a magician."

The tips of his ears were red. "I'm sorry," he said and put his cards back in his pocket. "I'll get out of your hair."

Suddenly, the one that let him in came to stand in front of the door, blocking him in. "I mean, while you're here," she began, coy smile on her lips. "You might as well give it a try."

"Only if you want to!" Another girl shouted.

The music started up and Bob was frozen. He had no idea what to do. If he really wanted to, he was sure that they would have let him out. But something had him stopping. Something had him really considering it.

His hips moved as he let his jacket fall from his shoulders. Bob did what came naturally. He gyrated his hips as he took off his shirt and threw it across the room. The girls were all screaming and cheering, leaning forward to get a touch of his abs.

And then he let his pants drop. Several of the girls pulled dollar bills from their purses and shoved them down his pants. "Go on! Give Mila a lap dance!"

Bob didn't know which one Mila was, but suddenly his hips were moving in a thrusting motion towards one of the girls. They were screaming, going positively feral as Bob worked.

Magic Mike was meant to be a magician. He wasn't supposed to be this sweaty, near naked picture of eroticism. And Bob liked it.

He really fucking liked it.

No legit i could do a whole stripper bob universe

TGM Taglist: @biancathecool

@finnydraws

@writtingrose

@afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff

@mp0625

@xoxabs88xox

@daggersquadphantom

[pumpkinsy0]

This one could get a bit chaotic but papercut going on a road trip? (And maybe some Pony trying to convince Darry to let him go??) Your headcanons keep me alive, i live and breathe papercut, so please keep up the good work or else I will die 💖

papercut road trip?? aw yeaaa baybeeee comin right up 🤵🏽‍♀️🍜

•it was def a spontaneous idea from curly, he was thinking one night and just wanted to drive somewhere, nowhere in particular just go around, he told tim and tim wasnt gonna fight him on it, if thats what curly wants thats his life, all he can hope is that he comes back in one piece (monkey d. luffy refrence⁉️)

•ik when he brought up the idea to pony it took a bit of convincing, not THAT much, but he still had to do it cause like, just a RANDOM road trip?????? pony joked that curly was trynna kill him, but curly did say they’d prolly pass the country side and he could take some pics as a remembrance so pony was down

•not gonna lie, ion know HOW, ponys ass is gonna convince darry to go, pony might be 18/19 but he is PUSHING his freedom here, ill tell u what tho it took a team effort from tim and buck (somehow), and darry probably slapped an airtag on pony or somethin so he knew where he was

•they were not taking curlys car, ill tell u that much, if u drove that thing for more than an hour i promise u theyre so dead before they even get to the 10th block out of ponys neighborhood, REGARDLESS OF HOW, pony kissed darry n soda goodbye (YES thats important to know)

•SKIPPING BORING DETAILS SO WE CAN ACTUALLY GET THE ON THE ROADTRIP, but they r STACKED w literally just snacks, no actual food, just chips, candy, juice and some water, lord help these two, they gonna crash on the highway🤦🏽‍♀️

•wether its a camcorder or just a regular ole camera, ponys documenting this, he also has a journal to write down his thoughts and draw, hes a man of many talents

•for every stop, when he can, he calls darry to let him know hes alive, even sends over post cards from the different places he’s at, stocks up on small lil knickknacks too!!curly also called to check in w tim and angela and pony made him send over letters too (curly HATESSSS writing letters)

•would it REALLY b papercut if i didnt say that one of em got them lost??? curly def cant read a map for shit and fucked up while pony was driving, that argument had ppl in other cars looking over

•they would take turns on who was driving but honestly just never let curly behind the wheel, be nearly missed an exit and pretty much drifted in the highway, curly would do WONDERS in a racing game, he did a “emergency” stop and almost catapulted pony out his seat when he was sleeping, hes such a lil asshole

•sometimes tho, they would just pull over completley and get in the back seat just to sleep, they had a blanket and like one pillow but its ok the one of em would just lay on the other, they had some pretty nice talks in there and pony wrote about it in his journal

•when they get to the country side, i could see pony having one of those nature books and finding what he could just to cross em off, hes a nerd like that, curly was way too fascinated by the insects to rlly make fun of him for too long

•took some good nature pics too, some silly ones as well, curly took some too!!

•one of em touched poison ivy, whoops

•how have i gone this long without mentioning that curly would def b the one blasting music, hes not the passenger princess, hes the passenger pain in the ass (pony doesnt wanna admit but video evidence proves other wise, he was singing too)

•pony is a pretty good driver i aint gonna lie, but maybe a lil too good, his eyes will NOT be leaving that road, curlys just gotta feed pony himself from the passenger

•they didnt pack enough clothes, they were def clothes shopping as they went, whoever car they took is a MESS by now

•at some point pony got sunburnt and curly was laughing at him bc it wasnt even all over his body, the sunburn just covered parts that his clothes didnt cover, had to make a stop at a gas station for sunscreen and aloe vera (if we r assuming curly packed enough money)

•they dont rlly go home for a while, they got too homesick

i need to stop here before i get anymore ideas,,,

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday 🎄

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 💖

wasn't sure about posting this bc I don't wanna share like everything I have so far but it's fuck it friday so fuck it lol I'm too excited to keep it to myself haha - here's more of the christmas fic and the main idea behind it (I said it's gonna be mostly silly and fluffy and I promise it will be, just gotta add a little more sad while buck talks about his childhood lol)

prev snippet

___

His eyes don’t leave the screen, while Eddie’s are glued to Buck’s face. “Well, there’s a lot of things I always wanted to do with my family on Christmas, but never got to.” his voice gets even quieter. “But there’s one thing in particular. I, uh, that’s so stupid.” he chuckles quietly, then nods to the screen, where a kid is opening a gift with a bright smile, his family surrounding him. “I wanted this.” he admits quietly, as if embarrassed. He never told Eddie much about his life growing up, but based on everything Eddie knows about his parents, he can imagine it wasn’t great. He never asked, not wanting to pry, but now Eddie wonders what Buck’s Christmas must’ve looked like, especially after Maddie moved out. He must’ve been miserable, and Eddie’s heart is breaking just at the thought.

“It’s not stupid to want a happy holiday with a loving family.” he says softly, carefully. Buck shakes his head, the red in his cheeks now visible despite the dark.

“I mean, that too, I- I never got this, and I always wished- but not just that.” another shake of his head. “I mean, the sweaters.” he mutters under his breath.

“Christmas sweaters?” Eddie asks, not sure if he heard right, just because of how quiet Buck said it.

“I know, it’s dumb. I just always imagined sitting around in matching sweaters, as a family, taking pictures, looking like we belong together, like I- like I belong.” he adds, turning his head away, so Eddie can’t see his face. Eddie reaches his hand further, touching Buck’s shoulder.

“They couldn’t give you matching Christmas sweaters?” he asks incredulously, fighting not to raise his voice.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @jamespearce9-1-1 @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuckdiaz @buckaroosheart @hippolotamus @king-buckley

[ghostbeam]

hello beloved sweet angel <3

happy halloween!!!!! for your liddol drabble thing i am humble offering katsuki + haunted house :3

Hiiiii sainty!!! Happy Halloween!!! I hope u have a good one and I hope u like this<3333

Katsuki Bakugou + haunted house

warnings: nothing really, discussions of ghosts, Katsuki doesn’t believe u

words: 700

Blunt fingernails brush against you back underneath your sleep shirt. You lay on your side, staring at your boyfriend as he looks down at you with a face you know means he’s thinking a little too hard. He’s trying to hide it behind soft eyes and relaxed shoulders, but his eyebrows are still pinched like he’s trying to figure something out.

You rub your thumb in between his brows and his moth falls open slightly like he’s been caught, “what are you thinking so hard about?”

“Gotta ask you something.” He says, sitting up on his elbows. “But it’s not—look, I don’t *care*, alright? I just wanna know.”

“Okay.” You speak, your voice soft, cheek shoved against the pillow as you stare at him.

“How come we never stay at my place anymore?” He asks. “It’s not like it matters, but you always make up excuses not to come over, or you ask if I can come over instead, like tonight. It’s not a big deal. I was just thinking about it.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Katsuki’s house. It was nice, really beautiful too, the kind of place you could see yourself living in. But there was a small problem, and it felt foolish to admit it.

You turn around so that your back is facing him, unable to look at him when you say it, “your house is haunted.”

“What.” He asks, only its not much of a question. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes it is.” You argue, turning to lay on your back. “It makes noises.”

“It’s an old house. It creeks.” He tries to reason with you, but it doesn’t seem like you’re letting up very soon.

“Old houses don’t creek like that one does. Old houses don’t speak.” You honestly feel a little silly trying to justify this to him, but you know what you’ve seen and heard and felt has no reasonable explanation.

“Speak? It speaks to you?” He asks, a mischievous grin breaking out across his face, “what does it say?”

“Stop making fun of me. I’m being serious!” You whine, sitting up in the bed. His hand comes to rest on your lower back.

“I’m sure you are, baby.” He shakes his head, “but my house isn’t haunted.”

“Katsuki, it’s *so* haunted. Ask anyone.” You tell him.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean? Who are you discussing my house with?” He asks, surprised, sitting up with you.

“Literally everyone. Deku saw a lady in a red dress.” You reveal, and he rolls his eyes.

“That’s my other girlfriend.” He deadpans, and you push against his shoulder.

“You’re not funny.” He wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls you against his chest.

“Deku didn’t see shit.” He scoffs. “If I had ghosts, they’d attack him.”

“You can’t sic your ghosts on people.”

“Why can’t I? They’d feed off my energy or some shit, right? Hate what I hate, love what I love.” He smiles. You shake your head at him.

“It doesn’t work that way.” You let yourself fall back into bed with a sigh. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

“How does it work then?” He leans down, propping himself up with one elbow and running a hand up your thigh to rest at your hip. He’s always touching you, somehow.

“They’re spirits, they’re not you, or extensions of you.” You shrug.

“They are whatever I say they are.” He says, confidently. Maybe he believes you. He takes you chin in between two fingers. “Hey, haunted or not, you know you’re safe with me, okay?”

“I know.” You nod, wrapping your fingers around his wrist as he moves his hand from your chin to your cheeks.

“The house loves you.” He says after a moment, eyes completely serious and voice firm.

“How do you know?” You whisper. He smiles, unguarded, placing a kiss against your lips.

“Because, I love you.” He speaks, and you roll your eyes.

“We just discussed that’s not how it works.” You chide.

“Hey, they’re my ghosts, not yours.” He flicks your forehead. “Unless you want them to be.”

“I’m not moving into your haunted house.” You turn away from him, pulling the blanket up to your chin. He wraps an arm around your waist from behind, pulling you flush against him and up over his body.

“It‘a not haunted!”

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

I HAD RANDOM THOUGHT I WANT YOU TO EXPAND ON!! This came outta nowhere but won’t leave: imagine if you somehow casually made a joke about babies/ pregnancy (or just mentioned it for some reason) and Tan laughs and jokes it off like it’s nothing and then carries on, and you’re just so suddenly hurt by it?? And so you’re either snapping at him, leaving the room or harshly moving away from him/ not wanting to touch him anymore?? And you’re both confused and you’re hurt and he’s like “oh SHIT FUCK I GOTTA FIX THIS” idk how much sense this is making but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (and that’s how you finally admit to Tan that you’ve been having baby fever, ahhhhh!!)

ME?? YAY I FEEL SO SPECIAL. did this on my phone, so apologies for bad punctuation. also your argument one is in my drafts xx

TANGERINE NOT REACTING WELL TO YOUR COMMENT ABOUT FUTURE BABIES.

omg?!? like you’ve been wanting to integrate it into convos but you don’t wanna scare him. so yes like mentioned, you point out something cute and baby related. maybe you’re at the shop, and you walk around the clothing section and ‘happen’ to stumble upon the baby section

you’d point out how cute and tiny the little baby clothes are, and how you can’t wait to buy some?? or how you can’t imagine holding something so small. and he’s like “bit of a long way off” and laughs (but not in a patronising way, like a nervous, awkward laugh) and he’s moving the trolley to get out of the section (bc gotta get lots of stuff and doesn’t want to be wasting time??) and you don’t know what to say, and it kinda feels like a gut punch. bc that’s how he feels, and you feel the opposite

so you go quiet for the rest of the time in the shop and in the car you’re quiet. AND to make it extra angsty you have your knees tilted towards the door! tan asks if you’re okay, and what’s the matter etcetc. you say how it’s nothing. you feel hurt but you don’t want him to know, maybe you feel silly for being so upset about a small throw away comment

AND YES LIKE MENTIONED you avoid him a little bit and there’s a bit of friction bc you’re being distant and snappy and moody??

and you’re confused why you feel so hurt about the comment. and he’s also confused by your sudden coldness towards him

and he’s trying to rack his brain to figure out why you’re so upset and what’s got you feeling that way. but he comes up empty. so then he retraces steps to the moment you went off on him. and then he realises his little comment at the shop may have set you off

so he kinda corners you bc he wants you to talk to him without you walking off or shutting him down. and he’s like “you’re upset about how I reacted to that baby comment, right?”

and you take a few moments and then nod

he’s like “and you’ve been off with me because you want a baby, and what I said wasn’t what you wanted to hear?” he’s got you all figured out

edit —

and bc he’s a communication king, he wants to patch things over and he’s like “I thought you were playing around. I didn’t know that’s how you really felt” and he says how in the past when you’ve mentioned baby fever, they’ve always been really passing lighthearted comments. so he thought it was the same again

and so you say how you’ve had baby fever, and it’s been a lot different to all the other times. it’s lasted longer and been more intense etc

so he’s like “would you like a baby?” and he’s trying to get to the point but in a gentle reassuring way. like he’s trying to solve the problem

so you say something like “yes. but the timing is not right and if you don’t then neither do I”

and he’s a cutie and he says something about how he’ll make time or that there’s never a right or wrong time etc blah blah. or he wants a baby if you’re the mother

OHHHMYGODD MAYBE!!?? the reason you’ve been even more upset about it is bc you already found out that you are pregnant!??? but haven’t told him yet!!!???!!! so you’re even more upset that he seemed to be against it. but maybe the hormones scrambled your brain so you felt like his comment was that of betrayal

[weatheringfeelingsvn]

Can I request you do a nsfw alphabet for the therapists?

And maybe one for Miguel but separately cause I’m still mad at him

NSFW Below~

SONNIG’s

A = Aftercare: Is probably the one that will need the most aftercare but he will always prioritize you instead; how you view him, what you need. Even as he is experiencing sub drops, he will reassure you that he's fine. You gotta be a lil forceful with him to take care of him.

B = Body part: He will never admit this but he likes his arms. He worked hard for their muscle definition. He will explode if you admire them too. On you, he loves your hands. He thinks they’re pretty and they do magical things to him when you touch him.

C = Cum: It tastes like lemongrass tea :]

D = Dirty Secret: He’ll try anything you’re into, even if he tries to act like he won’t.

E = Experience: He’s only dated twice before, and they were pretty vanilla. Everything he’s doing with you is new to him.

F = Favorite Position: When you ride him or fuck him from above. Giddyup cowgirl/boy/person.

G = Goofy: With flirting and foreplay, it can be a little silly, he wants to start it off light! Once you get really into it though, he normally doesn’t have the concentration to crack a joke. 

H = Hair: He started off casually trimming because he was self conscious about it.… but then he started completely shaving… 

I = Intimacy: He craves it. Any touch you grant him is something that he wants, whether that touch be harsh or soothing, he just wants to be close. 

J = Jack off: Since he’s met you, he feels shame jacking off because you’re what he’s thinking of now. To sort of balance it out in his head, he also does some weird little rituals like ‘If I do this humiliating thing or feel this level of pain, it makes it a little more okay.’

K = Kink: He thinks he’s being lowkey with his submissive masochism kink. He’s not. He yearns to be dommed, degraded, taken care of. To be used.

L = Location: He feels safest in his bedroom with his dog tucked away safely elsewhere. He would die if Zodiac ever walked in on him. He’s not opposed to your teases in public, though. He likes the thrill… but only with you.

M = Motivation: Being completely at your beck and call.

N = No: No scat or excessive bodily harm. 

O = Oral: He’d happily please you. He’s a little experienced but he could always learn to do better.

P = Pace: He’ll follow whatever you’re feeling like that day, if you want to fuck him hard or edge him slowly.

Q = Quickie: You are literally the only person that could convince him of having a quickie outside of his home with just a look. You break down his barriers.

R = Risk: He is putty in your hands, you can screw him up pretty good. Whatever risky behaviors you wanna partake in, he’s gonna excitedly oblige.

S = Stamina: An amazing amount! He can go on for however long you want!

T = Toys: He has a few that he’s bought to experiment with. He’s open to more if that’s what you want.

U = Unfair: Likes to be the one that is teased. Can be edged for a long time if you so choose ;] He will beg the whole time.

V = Volume: He’s very responsive and with enough encouragement, he will allow himself to shed his shame and get loud.

W = Wild Card: He will probably tear up during sex. Whether because you’re doing him softly or sadistically, you will be seeing a lot of him crying.

X = X-ray: He has a toned physique and a long dick. 

Y = Yearning: He’s always down bad to have you mess with him anywhere anytime.

Z = Zzzz: He falls asleep pretty fast while he is wrapped around you. He enjoys being the smaller spoon, despite being so big.

YU:

A = Aftercare: Very used to taking care of his partner. Knows exactly what you need, he has it all prepared, you never have to worry about it.

B = Body part: He’s proud of how adept he is with his hands and tongue. He’s an assman.

C = Cum: It tastes like chamomile tea. :]

D = Dirty Secret: He tried bottoming when he was younger and in a bad time of his life. He refuses to do so again.

E = Experience: He is the most experienced and he’s pretty proud of it.

F = Favorite Position: Doggystyle, usually with your arms tied behind your back going at his preferred pace.

G = Goofy: If you laugh, he’ll punish you. It makes for a great opportunity to be a brat to him.

H = Hair: He likes to trim his hair himself and shapes it. 

I = Intimacy: He can be pretty romantic when he feels that you’ve earned it.

J = Jack off: He doesn’t do it often. He’d usually find a partner before he met you, now you get to be his fleshlight.

K = Kink: VERY into marking and letting other people know that you belong to him without outright stating so. It’s a mind game he’s fond of.

L = Location: He has his own special room for certain activities, but practically anywhere in his house is free reign. Anywhere other than the kitchen because he doesn’t want to have to sanitize the counters… 

M = Motivation: Knowing that he’s the center of your universe when you do it.

N = No: No scat or excessive bodily harm. 

O = Oral: He will eat you out like there’s no tomorrow. He enjoys making you squirm so he’ll take his time.

P = Pace: He’ll keep the pace to whatever the mood feels like. He can do both fast and slow.

Q = Quickie: He’s the king of quickies. He’s pretty good at getting down to business, finishing you up, and cleaning up fast.

R = Risk: He’ll take calculated risks whenever he feels like it.

S = Stamina: He might not have the best stamina but if he doesn’t tire you out, he always finds a way to keep going.

T = Toys: He enjoys including toys and has quite the collection.

U = Unfair: He loves teasing you. He will metaphorically ~~and physically~~ keep yanking at your chain just because he feels like it. If you try to do the same, you’ll get punished (or rewarded depending on how you look at it).

V = Volume: He’s pretty quiet when he’s not taunting or praising you. The most you’ll get out of him are a few grunts and heavy breaths.

W = Wild Card: 

X = X-ray: He’s a pretty average guy but he makes up for it in skill. Short king shit.

Y = Yearning: He has a moderate and controlled libido, but he loves making you flustered so when he sees the chance, he’ll take it.

Z = Zzzz: He’s a night owl. He’ll stay up, but if you want him to, he’ll stay in bed and pet your head until you fall asleep.

A = Aftercare: He’s new to all this, he will need a lot of guidance but he is very eager to fret over you.

Nubloso

B = Body part: He loves your tummy. He just wants to lay on you and hold you close. He honestly really likes his chest. It’s something soft that you can both enjoy!

C = Cum: It tastes like a subtle peppermint tea :]

D = Dirty Secret: If you gave him the chance, he would love to watch you pleasure yourself as both a learning experience to see what you enjoy the most and to just take the chance and focus completely on how you look in the moment. 

E = Experience: He only had experience with his hand before you came along.

F = Favorite Position: Good ol’ fashioned missionary, both for receiving and giving. He loves looking at you and holding you.

G = Goofy: He doesn’t try to be goofy, but he babbles so much during sex that sometimes it just happens 

H = Hair: Full natural. 

I = Intimacy: Inject it into his VEINS, he wants it all!! He’ll spout the corniest shit about how much he adores you and sometimes pause just to look at you with a dopey grin. He’s so in love.

J = Jack off: Quite a lot to be frank. He has a lot of pent up feelings and it’s a good method for self care.

K = Kink: He’s got the biggest breeding kink, he likes the fantasy of creating something new together and starting a family with you. If you’re not comfortable with it, he’ll keep it to himself, he doesn’t want to freak you out. 

L = Location: Here, there, anywhere. Bend you over in the office, lay himself across the couch, kitchens are free reign. Anywhere you are, it has absolutely crossed his mind. 

M = Motivation: Anything can get him started, really. Hearing your voice, being in your vicinity, smelling you, even just looking at you. This is his first time feeling so intensely about a person, he can’t control his reaction.

N = No: No scat or excessive bodily harm. 

O = Oral: You really gotta teach him what to do. He will enjoy learning!

P = Pace: You being his first, he goes pretty hard and fast like a rabbit. He has to learn to take things slow.

Q = Quickie: He’d love to have them as often as he can with you.

R = Risk: He likes controlled risky situations, like doing it in his office after he makes sure the door is locked. He likes the fantasy of showing people that you are his, but he’d actually rather not have anyone eyeing you.

S = Stamina: He’s a noob, he goes until he tires himself out so it can wildly range.

T = Toys: He’s open to them if you like them, but he kinda prefers going without (other than the strap, he loves it if you use it).

U = Unfair: He does his best to tease you to get a reaction out of you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but he won’t give up.

V = Volume: He’s pretty talkative during sex. He does a lot of dirty talking when he gets lost in the moment.

W = Wild Card: 

X = X-ray: He’s got a soft physique with a thick dick.

Y = Yearning: He’s always yearning for you. His sex drive is crazy.

Z = Zzzz: He takes a while to sleep because he enjoys your presence too much. He’ll snuggle you and daydream about you as he feels you falling asleep. 

[thebreakfastgenie]

If the MASH seasons were exactly the same except once per season a character got to say "fuck" where would you place each fuck? If it makes it easier to decide this can instead be a version of MASH where all the writing is the same except one "fuck" per season but also the blood/surgery/gore is a little more explicit.

(Note this is a tongue in cheek ask, I am not proposing the show would be better if people got to say fuck, I just think it's a silly fun thing to think about.)

No the show absolutely would be better if people got to say fuck. Literally my one other note after the blood and gore is I wish they could curse.

This is just off the top of my head and there are entire seasons I haven't rewatched recently so this is not like, the ideal version. Just one set of suggestions. I would very much like to hear others!

Season 1: The Army-Navy Game, "Not only are we pinned down by enemy fire, we just got an unexploded bomb in the middle of the fucking compound."

Season 2: Hot Lips and Empty Arms, "But no. I married the army, and what the fuck have I got to show for it?"

Season 3: Officer of the Day, "I have had it with you fucking fruitcakes!"

Season 4: I think Hawkeye says "I really don't give a shit anymore" in The Interview, it might be "I really don't give a fuck anymore," but either way you can't unbleep that because of the format, so it doesn't count, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due.

Change of command, "No, no, no, no! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's my MASH. It's mine! It's fucking mine! Mine, mine mine!"

I just wanna see Frank say fuck and I think that would drive him to it.

Season 5: Hawkeye Get Your Gun, "You love life that little?" "I hate guns that fucking much."

Season 6: Temporary Duty, "Pierce, I never thought the day would come when I would admit this... but, God, I fucking missed you!"

Season 7: Peace on Us, "People are fucking dying out there! You gotta stop it! You can't wait anymore! You can't!"

Season 8: Lend a Hand, "I can't taste the cheese. All I can taste is the fucking mustard."

Let Alan Alda say fuck to his father.

Season 9: The Red/White Blues, "Klinger, I have one more order for you. Forgive me, please." "That goes for me too." "I'll think it over while I'm resting up from my imaginary fucking disease."

Season 10: That Darn Kid when they're explaining what happened to the payroll Hawkeye says "a fucking goat ate it"

Season 11: Hey Look Me Over, "The O. R. is in a fucking shambles!"

Also I do think Hawkeye would hurl multiple fucks at Sidney in Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen, but it wouldn't work with just one.

It's surprisingly hard to insert these but I think it would have ruled if they were allowed to write them in in the first place.