#gotham's favorite psychiatrist Jazz AU

[spacedace]

I've been working on a dp x dc fic that has rather quickly become the home of the "Jazz is Gotham's Favorite Psychiatrist" au I posted about a few days ago and I've just really fell in love with the idea of Queer Platonic Murder Gremlins Damian & Dani/Elle being absolute terrors to their family and deciding to get married when they turn 18 for the sake of avoiding various people trying to date/marry them to get to their family's respective shit (the Wayne's money & social standing in Gotham as billionaire socialites, the Nightingale's massive power and influence over the Infinite Realms as the royal family).

Damien casually mentions he and his demon beastie Elle got married the day before without even glancing up from his food and completely derailing what was actually turning out to be a pretty calm family dinner for once. His siblings are losing their shit because what the fuck Damian, Bruce is having a crisis - he didn’t even know they were dating??? And he just found out Elle's sister/guardian is the mysterious doctor that he thinks is making some of his rogues disappear??? Damian didn’t even invite them to the wedding has he completely failed as a father?? - meanwhile Alfred is just there knowing full well that the two kids are little Aro/Ace menaces - he bought them each their first Ace ring for Pride this year he knows what's up - and deciding "actually I have something to do in the kitchen" and letting the chaos reign.

The Nightingales are fully aware of what's up (Danny was the one who had to do the presiding over everything in the Ghost Zone side of things and Jazz is a notary on top of everything else and signed off on all the paperwork on the human side) and are just enjoying all the various entities that were pushing for an arranged marriage between themselves and Elle for power or whatever bullshit having hissy fits over losing to some human kid. They're especially having fun not telling Constantine the specifics of the whole thing and letting him sweat it out over the fact that the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms apparently just married the "Demon Heir" whoever in - literal - hell that is and she now is in possession of all his soul contracts.

[inthememetime]

Inspired by Teenage Mercenary, a DC × DP AU in which Danny plays the role on Ijin except instead of a foreign country Danny grew up in the Ghost Zone after an ill fated trip wherein Jack, Madeline and Danny entered the ghost zone in the prototype Specter Speeder but failed to return. Instead of growing up with her grandparents, Jazz is taken in by Vlad and then one day an older iteration of Danny emerges from Vlad's ghost zone portal. Jazz bearhugs Danny and Danny hugs her back, in steps Vlad who also hugs his godson adding to the dog pile.

Vlad uses Jazz's preexisting attendance to Gotham Academy to get Danny into the school as a new student and Danny is sorted into the same homeroom as one Tim Drake.

Sorry for the delay on this, Shroud, I wanted to be able to give you something good instead of whatever hot garbage my fevered brain churned out. I mean, it might still be hot garbage, but at least I tried, you know?

Anyway

I LOVE this idea an amount that you probably expected. Let's start with the immediate effects and then push out to when he returns!

Vlad

The objects of his obsession (Maddie and Jack) are gone. Dead. He even goes to the GZ to find them with no luck; just a wrecked Specter Speeder, parts and pieces of Maddie and Jack, and a blood-soaked baby seat.

Understandably, his mental status is completely rocked. If he didn't have the (once minor) obsessions with family and custody of Jazmine, his core would've shattered.

All that to say: this is a Vlad more like the future one in the apocalypse during TUE. He's broken, barely holding himself together for the sake of this broken-hearted little girl, and is forced to move on.

Jazmine

Despite being only 3 at the time of the accident, she has a lot of guilt. She thinks she should have faked being sick, thrown a tantrum, ANYTHING. It takes years of therapy (hence her goal of being a psychiatrist) for her to internalize it wasn't her fault. She was 3. She wasn't even at the house, she was at a sleepover. How was she supposed to stop them?

Despite her (unfair) guilt, she moves to calling Vlad 'dad' pretty quickly. Now, when she thinks of her dad, it's our favorite Green Bay Packers fan. When somebody presses about her bio dad, she has a few pictures, some stories, and a vague memory of a man in orange buckling up her older brother for the last ride he would ever take.

She misses Danny, and often wonders what he'd be like if he lived. Her hardest day, besides the immediate aftermath, was her 6th birthday because that meant she was older than Danny (who was 5 when he died) would ever be.

6 year old Jazz had a very hard time.

Now, at 14, her main concerns are having to move to Gotham and leave her friends Sam and Tucker (not to mention the town she grew up in) behind. She spent the last half year in Gotham, but she thought she was going back to Amity Park

Unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, business is booming, and Vlad signed a contract with Wayne Enterprises that's slowly putting a certain evil billionaire out of business, and he needs to be in city. And she's 14, so she is, obviously, going with him.

Side note, Vlad grew up rich and in boarding schools. He had a Very Bad Time in boarding schools, so that's a no go for him. Also, his existence low-key revolves around his daughter, so he starts going a little canon-level crazy when he can't see her for at least an hour or two a week. (Thank you, Skype! She can enjoy summer camp as long as she has a reliable internet connection!)

Also: Jazz knows this. But her abandonment issues have abandonment issues, so she's totally fine with this: she gets to reassure herself that her only living parent is still (half) alive and healthy.

Also also: thanks to an unexpected vulture visit, she's known Vlad is a half ghost since she was 4.

The Plot Beggineth

Is Beggineth a word? I like it, so it is now.

She sneaks off to say a final goodbye to Fentonworks the week before they're supposed to leave, but Sam and Tucker have a feeling she would do that and follow her.

Most of this chapter would be somber, I think. Jazz visiting the Ops center, the kitchen, and every room to say a final goodbye because, tbh, she doesn't plan on going back here again at this point. She's finally ready to move on.

She tests the lock on the lab as always, and it's locked, but the hinges have rusted and pretty much falls over. Despite knowing how dangerous a maintained ghost lab is, she decends. A last goodbye to the ghosts who never, despite all the wishes and prayers, came to haunt her.

There's the wrecked Speeder, just as her dad found it years ago. The weapons cabinet, the lab tables. All untouched bexause her dad couldn't stand to be here either. She's about to leave when she trips over a Fenton Thermos and lands in the portal.

Despite being very careful standing up, she trips on a wire, and the fact her dad never shut off the power really bites her because she bumps the on button, and boom! Halfa!Jazz.

By this time, Sam and Tucker are there to see her death, and Vlad's not far behind since his wards were tripped when she entered. They're all a little too late.

Not only does the portal activation kill Jazz! It also acts as a beacon to a certain ghost who doesn't remember much, but knows his obsession lies on the other side of the door he can't cross. Until now.

Danny

Immediately recognizes Jazz, though not Vlad.

They don't recognize him either. He's had a multitude of ghost parents, so 4 arms (Pandora), horns (Frostbite), star maps on his skin (Clockwork), and- well, he looks like a neverborn.

Until he switches back, and he's the spitting image of Jack at that age. He knows things only Danny would know. VERY secretive blood tests prove that's Jazz's long (un)dead brother.

Jazz and Vlad are beyond excited to have him back, and so is he! Matter of fact, Vlad's a little confused at how such a gentle, kind boy (admittedly with a lot of sass) has (half) survived the GZ.

All that changes when Luthor does weird mind control on Superman to get revenge (not against Plasmius- he isn't in the know- but against Vlad, who is driving him out of business) (overkill much, Lexy?), and Danny takes him down in like...20 seconds.

Super speed? Well how does your super hearing like that Ghostly Wail? Super strength? Boy, he wrestles with the ghost of the Nemean Lion on the regular.

Lazer eyes? Frost breath. Catch two arms? Jokes on you, he's got 2 more and now you're in range.

Yeah. It's quick. Batman and the bats have to slow down CCTV footage to 1 FPS and it's still faster than the camera could track.

He always went by Phantom in the GZ, so that's his hero name! Vlad still tries to teach him- and learns a few tricks himself. They both teach Jazz.

Tim

With summer over, classes start again!

Immediately, Tim knows something is off. The new kid, Danny, is WAY too nice for Gotham. Yeah, he's sassy, but he'll also make friends with anybody!

Tim tries to teach him the ropes. This causes Danny to believe they're BFFs now, which Tim was NOT aiming for, he just didn't want the cinnamon roll to be murdered.

Only then Danny steps in with a school bully who Tim has just had to deal with because he can't reveal his combat training, and absolutely shreds the guy to pieces. Then, super friendly, gives Tim his backpack back and wants to know if Tim knows any good burger joints in the area.

Detective mode: activated! Tim (thinks he) figures out that this is a Jason Situation. He resolves to keep an eye out on Danny to see if he has superpowers or nah.

Tim: I'll hang around him until I figure him out. Danny: new friend!

Danny starts showing up randomly. A fight breaks out while he's supposed to be in class? Nope, Danny's right beside him kicking ass, but his teacher says he never left the room, and the footage he (ahem) aquired confirms it.

Tim starts making a list of powers and panicking because a meta like this might be able to slow down even Superman! He'd be far more frightened if he knew half of the stuff Danny could really pull.

The Batfam thinks Tim has a crush. There's a lot of 'you can tell us anything!' speeches, Kate reminds him she's lesbian and it's ok with everyone else for some reason, even Jason gets to the point where he's just: Tim. Listen. Bruce is like the only straight person here, and frankly nobody knows about Alfred. It's cool if you want to bring him home.

"He's a meta."

"I'll make an exception unless he hurts you."

Tim thinks: ok, meta is fine. Turn him into a hero! Bruce thinks: ok, going to meet my son's boyfriend soon!

This is, by the way, the while thing. Everyone (but Tim & sweet cinnamon roll Danny) thinks they're dating. It gets to the point where Bruce and Vlad start inviting eachother over for family dinners in the hopes that their sons will just fess up, already!

Everyone (but Tim, Jazz, and Vlad) thinks Danny is either normal, or a meta with some speed and strength enhancements.

Tim tries to explain how dangerous he really is? YES, Tim, we GET IT, Danny is AWESOME and has great hair, JESUS CHRIST.

Hilariously, Tim and Danny keep getting kidnapped, and everyone from the Batfam thinks Tim keeps somehow overpowering metas to rescue them. Ghostfam thinks Tim is now In The Know.

"Hey Mr. Masters-"

"Tim, please, it's Vlad."

"Uh. Vlad? How did Danny get superpowers?"

"Oh, he died."

"WhAt?!"

Phantom and Robin keep teaming up to rescue Jazz, who is doing her best not to show powers so Lex doesn't have a reason to clone her.

Phantom/Robin becomes a thing. Danny/Tim is still not. When they find out, both families are FURIOUS.

"DANIEL JAMES FENTON-MASTERS, WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON YOUR BOYFRIEND?!"

"TIMOTHY DRAKE, GET DOWN HERE AND TELL ME WHY RED ROBIN WAS SEEN KISSING PHANTOM?!"

Tim starts hanging around the Fenton-Masters more because NOBODY believes he and Danny aren't dating! Danny does the opposite- and both figure out eachother's secret identities.

This leads to further problems because: ok, he likes Red Robin, but he clearly isn't interested in Tim Drake. Ok, he likes Phantom, but Danny probably annoys him.

Tim gets Unmasked by Disposable Henchman #4, and (after getting rid of the others), Danny, to even the score, shows that Phantom and Danny are the same person too.

This leads to further drama. You'd think everything was solved, wouldn't you? Nah. "Dad, please stop yelling at me. Tim IS Red Robin." "Oh, that's a load of licorice, Danny, you're grounded."

"Bruce, everybody- I'm tired of this, so here: Danny IS Phantom." "So now you're lying to your BF AND to us?!"

Finally, they unmask in front of each other's families. Problem solved, right? Right! Except Jazz is kidnapped now, and there's this new scary blue meta looking for a ghost kid, and- shit's complicated.

But that's (realistically) where I'd go with it- romantic comedy/ crouching tiger hidden dumbass style.

All in all:

Danny? Genius when it comes to fighting, the GZ, and math. Dumbass for anything else.

Tim? Genius when it comes to detective work, fighting, and breaking and entering. Dumbass when it comes to human interaction.

Danny AND Tim? Bisexual Disaster Squad for the win!

[spacedace]

Gotham loved all her children fiercely.

Every single parent working three jobs, every corrupt politician lining their pockets with tax payer money, every exhausted student scraping by on rent, every doctor, drug dealer, lawyer and killer. She loved them all. Even those she hated beyond words, beyond ability to comprehend, those of her children so filled with evil not even a mother’s love could excuse or condone, even those she still loved.

They were all pieces of herself. As much a part of her as her cracked pavement and unruly parks and dirty cobblestone street skin, as the smoke and smog and storming haze of her hair, as the glint of her stained glass and cctv eyes. Her Populous made her as much as she made them, over years more cursed than blessed, shaping her with their stubbornness and pride and strength.

She did not love equally though. 

It was not something that guilted her. That all children should have equal parts affection were concerns of living things. And though it could never be argued that the Spirit of Gotham was anything but alive, it is not the same as being living. She is a City Spirit, first and foremost. Her children are counted in the millions, and though she knows every second of every life that call her home, there are those that she gives more of her love to than others.

Her Bats and Birds, who flit around her jagged skylines and down her shadowed streets and gave all of themselves to trying to protect so many. She loved them dearly, wanted to do everything in her power to care for them as they cared for her. Had done everything, when it became clear that she hadn’t power enough.

A deal with the King Infinite could be a dangerous thing, a great risk only the most reckless were willing to entertain.

But the King that had instilled such an apprehension in the Infinite Realms was gone now. Stripped of crown and ring and title, consumed in his entirety by his conqueror - though it had taken time and a great deal of danger for the new King to complete that right - Pirah Dark was a bad memory.

Phantom was something else.

And Gotham was willing to be a little reckless in trusting the whispers of her dead that their new ruler was a fair and kind one. That his Obsession was not with power, but with Protection.

That the King could use a little Protection himself, on the mortal side.

She’d made an offer, a Deal.

The King’s Grave Mother accepted on his and their Grave’s behalf. If it was, perhaps, a little underhanded to speak with the Queen Mother rather than the King himself, well. Gotham was born of shady dealings, the language of slanted deals was her first, and she could craft contracts that would put any Fae or Demon to shame.

It was a good deal though. Equal and fair for both sides. She’d been born of human kindness and empathy too, though they were not as easy a touch stone.

The King was kind, and hurt and in need of a protector of his own. His Grave were doing his best, but Halfa were things Between. They could not live all on one side of the veil completely. They needed a place on the mortal side, where they would not need to fear being hunted. Gotham could give them that. Gotham could be that.

What she asked for in return wasn’t so great a price.

If, perhaps, upon the King and his Grave taking up residence within the bounds of her Populous, she gained more than just the power she asked? A mere coincidence. Surely. The other City Spirits were just bitter that their more straight forward Populous hadn’t allowed them to think of such a scheme, to claim otherwise.

Besides, she thinks it still worked out equal enough. Companionship for some of her lonely Birds meant companionship for the King and his Grave as well after all. 

Even if it took a bit of nudging to get them all to fall in place. It was a mother’s right to meddle in the lives of her children, after all. Her duty to help ensure they found good partners. And she was hardly the first parent to feel that nothing short of royalty was good enough for her children.

*

Blurb from me figuring out the vibe between the Spirit of Gotham and the Pham in my Gotham’s Favorite Therapist Jazz AU. Also a writing prompt for anyone who wants to run with this haha

Believe it or not, this originally popped up because I had the idea “What if the person Gotham loves most in the world is Alfred because he looks after her favorite kids?” and it turned into this lol Eventually I’ll actually write the scene where Alfred and Gotham sit down and have tea together and talk about their kids.

In this AU/my headcanons Grave is the term Ghosts use to reference family (in the context of people you love and care for, doesn’t have to be actual blood relations or anything and more often than not is used to describe found family).

I just like the idea of a grave being seen as a place of peace and rest and for actual dead/ghosts you find that not in a literal grave but in the people you call your own. Also just like the alliteration of “A Grave of Ghosts” lol

Also have the idea that a Grave has a social structure similar to wolves not in the sense of the shitty incorrect misunderstanding with alpha/beta/omega sense, but in the sense that it’s all family dynamics with one or more families grouped together with parents generally trying to wrangle/look after everyone else. The head(s) of a Grave is called a Grave Parent/Father/Mother (in this case, Jazz being the Grave Mother).

Not referenced in here but gonna add it here anyway: I like the idea that the concept of “Ghost King” is meant to actually be more like “Grave Parent to all Graves and ghosts” rather than actual king, and that Pirah Dark just kinda fucked that whole vibe up with his shit. Just really like the idea of things going back to that with Danny having a more protector role and ghosts start using the title “Grave Father” for him (maybe with some misunderstanding of what that means and folks not in the know thinking it some ominous title lol).

Don’t have time to tag everyone who asked at the moment, but I’ll come back & do that later after work

[spacedace]

Continuation of this post.

Okay, took a bit since I was kinda going through and slightly tidying things up/picking out the bits that had more humor in them since that was more the vibe of the last post and I figured that’s more of what peeps where interested in, but here be the snippets of the awkward post-surprise-wedding dinner between the Waynes and Nightingales!

I actually have more snippets of things that go down before/during/after these snippets if anyone would like to see those. They have things like Duke & Babs breaking into the Nightingale apartment to investigate, some BatPham family fluff, and Talia’s party crashing scene in anyone is interested

*

They really were trying, is the thing.

Tim feels like they should get credit for that, on whatever cosmic score board “meeting the in-laws-who-may-potentially-be-supervillains” is tracked on.

Damian offered the invitation to Elle and her family, Jason even - reluctantly - agreed to it, even if he wasn’t happy about them meeting at the Manor rather than somewhere that qualifies as neutral ground. The Nightingales accepted, a date and time set. It was happening.

Sure, Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - the woman that Jason had been dating for years and was about to have a baby with - was incredibly suspicious and potentially involved in the disappearance of at least three of Gotham’s regular rogues. 

And yeah, it turned out that the guy Dick had been flirting with off and on for years was her - older? Younger? What information they had was conflicting on where Dan fit in the sibling order, which was a thing - brother who kinda-maybe-definitely was running something illegal with his bar in Bludhaven as a cover. 

And yes, Damian had sorta-secretly married his best friend of many years - who likely wasn’t involved in anything shady but who was able to keep up with Damian in a scuffle and that kinda was a reg flag by itself if you thought about it for five seconds - completely without warning while the two had a very long history of not being interested at all in any kind of romantic relationships.

They were trying their best to put these very large, very red flags aside for one night for the sake of Damian and Jason’s insistence that the Nightingales weren’t a massive threat to Gotham at large or their family specifically.

Did Barbara go slightly out of her mind trying to figure out why any research into the family led her running in circles for hours on end, only for her one and only slight hint of a lead to result in her computer oozing a mysterious green substance that no amount of testing had been able to identify? 

Yeah, kinda.

Did Duke admit that he’d known that Elle was some kind of meta of unknown powers since he met her for the first time when she was twelve and didn’t tell anyone because he was pretty sure she didn’t even have any active powers, only to discover a year ago she did when Damian came home suddenly glowing like her and still didn’t say anything because Damian asked him not to? 

Sure.

Did they have a family meeting - minus Damian and Jason - discussing the possibility that the two were under the effects of some kind of mind control and that they were absolutely going to be using the dinner as a means of getting as much information out of the Nightingales as they could without tipping their hand as to their suspicions?

Yes. Without question. One hundred percent.

Were they still also doing their best to make things pleasant on the - extremely to the point of impossibility - small chance that their new in-laws weren’t incredibly dangerous villains but instead very normal civilians with weird luck?

Okay, Tim can admit, that one was up in the air.

Bruce had the security on the manor completely overhauled. They’d stashed weapons and meta-inhibiting cuffs around in case things turned violent. They set up contingency plans to try and prevent any kind of mind control. They’d put the Justice League on standby to have Martian Manhunter and a few others just in case none of their many contingency plans worked. Superman was covering patrol for the night and was going to keep a listening ear on them to call in the cavalry if it was needed.

But they were still at least trying, alright.

For example: Tim was trying very hard to not think about the fact that the years of slowly getting to know Danny - both as Red Robin and as Tim Drake - might have all been some long con on the Nightingales’ part to infiltrate the family even further than they already had. 

That Danny’s bright eyed ramblings about space as they sat on the roof of the guard shack at Gotham Cemetery squinting up past the light pollution to those brightest stars and sipping overly-strong coffee were fake. That the easy days of hanging out at cafes and arcades and museums learning about all of Danny’s little quirks  and sharing his own as his civilian identity could have been an act. That the sass and sarcasm and sweetness that Tim liked so much about his maybe-sorta boyfriend was a carefully calculated facade made just for Tim to fall for.

Tim was trying very hard, thank you very much.

Alfred suggested they all just try to get through dinner first.

Tim’s unsure where Alfred found such a sudden well of near-delusional optimism inside him, but he hopes that it isn’t an effect of Dr. Nightingale secretly brainwashing him too. He’s mostly sure the only Nightingale to ever come over to the Manor had been Elle, and he’s pretty sure Elle isn’t herself involved in whatever shady shit her family is maybe-probably into - kinda pretty sure…The hindsight on the fact that a totally normal girl should not be able to throw down with Dami on the regular without being horribly maimed or outright killed wasn’t doing her any favors. Nor was the surprise marriage.

Point was, Tim was pretty sure that getting through even a single meal in the state things were in was going to be an impossibly high bar to clear.

He was proven right when, five minutes after sitting down at the table, Talia showed up.

—

As far as first impressions go when it comes to meeting your clone/daughter/sister’s new platonic-husband’s family goes, pointing and shouting holy shit is that Hot Dumpster Guy? the moment the front door is opened is probably up there for one of Danny’s worst.

It’s taken a whole 1.2 seconds for Jazz to start facepalming. That’s gotta be a new record. She was going to kill him when they got home for sure. She’d spent the entire week - and the car ride - leading up to tonight talking about having manners and not starting fights and please these people are going to be family you cannot start shit the minute we get there, at least wait for after Elle and Damian’s first anniversary.

In Danny’s defense, it totally is Hot Dumpster Guy that Dan’s been driving them all nuts about with his pining for the past few months. 

It’s not his fault Dan never called him by his actual name. Or that the defining moment of their meeting for the first time was Dan fishing the dude out of the dumpster behind his speakeasy after the guy girlbossed a little too close to the sun while trying to be the Tony Hawk of parkour. And Jason and Damian were in the family chat, they could have mentioned that the guy was their brother at some point after one the many - many - times Dan spammed them pictures of the dude doing acrobat bullshit and wailing about how hot and funny Hot Dumpster Guy was. Hell, Elle could have mentioned it at literally any time and wasn’t she the one that coined the name Hot Dumpster Guy to begin with when this all started?

Based on the delighted grins on Jay and Elle’s faces and the fact that he can feel Damian’s smug amusement echoing out from not that far away inside, the three had been hoping for something like this. Because of course they had, his Grave is nothing but a bunch of chaotic menaces at the end of the day, himself included.

Dan, bright red and utterly mortified, uses his place towering behind Elle as a cover to kick Danny in the ankle as hard as he can without sending him dropping to the ground outright. He can feel his alternate-universe-future-self/son/brother’s rising homicidal rage. Totally worth the mortified look of shock and horror he’s wearing though. It’s what he deserves after all the years of making fun of him over the Red Robin/Tim Drake stuff.

“Hot dumpster guy?” The Hot Dumpster Guy in question sputtered, looking like he didn’t know who to turn his bewildered and betrayed look on first.

Elle makes it easy on him, for the first and most likely last time in his unlife.

“Dan sent us the CCTV camera of your spectacular landing when you guys first met.” She said with a grin that was probably just a touch too sharp to be totally human, shoving her way past him with as much manners as a feral badger - Ancients, they really were fighting an uphill battle trying to convince Damian and Jay’s rich ass family that they were a nice and normal bunch. “I saved the scream you made when the rat crawled down your shirt as my ringtone for you.” She added, waving her phone back at him, and yeah her teeth were definitely too sharp for normal humans, Danny was going to have to try and pull her aside before Hot Dumpster Guy or any of the rest of the family noticed.

“One night, I asked for one night.” Jazz muttered forlornly into her hand. Jay gave her a reassuring pat because he was a good partner and a shit eating grin to Hot Dumpster Guy because he was an equally good asshole little brother.

Yeah, Danny thought as Hot Dumpster Guy floundered his way through trying to introducing himself after that shit show, one night was probably setting the bar a little too high there.

—

Introductions did not get better.

Dick could admit that probably was because Damian and Elle had decided to take it upon themselves to lead the charge on that after the two had all but  physically drug everyone into the most comfortable living room. 

The plan had been for Dick to bring them to one of their more…formal sitting rooms. Namely the one that could with the press of a button turn into a nearly inescapable prison if things got ugly. No windows, one entrance, walls and doors reinforced enough to slow even Supes down in smashing through. The works. Damian had either sussed out what his family was up to and was circumventing it, or Elle - as part of the house as the rest of them after all these years - had simply not even considered that the Wayne family would bring them anywhere else. Dick hoped desperately that it was the latter.

Then they started introducing everyone to each other.

“That’s my latest blorbo.”

“This is Nightingale.”

“That’s some scunkly guy.”

“And this is Nightingale.”

“Over there is the world’s worst pathetic meow meow.”

“On Nightingale’s other side is Nightingale.”

“Those two over there are Failed Tumblr Sexyman and Spider Georg.”

“You know Todd.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that Babs found and confirmed their signed and certified marriage certificate, he’d suspect the two of making the whole thing up just as an excuse to cause maximum amount of chaos for their respective families.

“Hey, Hot Dumpster Guy, where's everyone else?” 

Actually, nevermind, Dick doesn’t put it past them to have actually gotten married to sell the bit.

—

When Bruce had asked him for help with his meeting the in-laws/sting operation, Clark had been expecting - based on the situation as explained to him - that he would be listening in on the kind of cat and mouse verbal chess games that so often occurred when Batman was facing off against subtler foes. To be waiting for any sign - however subtle - that backup was needed, tense and on edge all night as he swept up as much crime as he could while the Bats and Birds were busy.

He had not expected to be listening to the single most awkward small talk he’s ever heard in his life. The second hand embarrassment of it all felt as devastating as any kryptonite he’d ever encountered.

Similarly unexpected had been the sudden turn the moment Duke and Barbara - late by virtue of snooping through the Nightingales’ respective homes for evidence, a venture that had really just made everyone involved feel uncomfortable from what Clark could hear  - had arrived. It seemed that the presence of all the Bat’s brood had been required for the trap that was set off the moment the two joined the group.

The utter devastation laid down upon both Nightingales and Waynes by the newlyweds as they unleashed utter chaos on their new shared families in the form of what must have been years of carefully curated blackmail. There was a slideshow. And a movie. And so many embarrassing stories about all of them. 

Clark may have started texting Diana the second Elle and Damian Wayne al Ghul Nightingale - they had decided to just…keep all their combined last names, apparently rather than choose just one - made it clear what they had planned for the pre-dinner entertainment for the night.

There may have also been plans to get the Wayne al Ghul Nightingales to share their beautiful collection with Damian’s dear Uncle Clark.

*

Tag time: @screamingtofillthevoid @stargirl1331 @mnemovoid @malice-of-the-sunrise @bathildaburp @autumnwulf @revnantdpxdclover @coruscateselene @writer-extraodinaire @idfk-man10 @fluffen-spooky @frostedthroughghost @akikkobara @unadulteratedsoulsweets @phoenixdemonqueen @overlycaffeinatedsuperwholockfan @gin2212 @emotional-otter @lexdamo @dixiwoods @wildbacon @ashleysmshly @that-random-fangirl @satanicrutialspecialist @lazy-bouqet @treepainting

I think that’s everyone haha, hope you guys enjoy!

[spacedace]

Does anyone else have the thing where they just end up trying to pack The Most ™️ into a fic? Like, I have an initial, simple premise, then my brain is like, hey remember all these other things? Let's squash em in there, they fit.

And like, I can make them fit, but at what point is it too much? At what point is there no more room for things to make sense?

Take for example my Gotham's Favorite Psychiatrist Jazz AU, it started simple with the idea "hey what if Jazz said fuck Arkham and tried to work directly with the rogues and gave the Batfam a crisis in the process?" Then it expanded to include some fun BatPham chaos and shenanigans (see the disaster dinner snippets lol) and now I'm working on trying to fit in such bangers as:

- Dan adopts feral gremlin Billy after the kid tries to steal his wallet and is a supportive dad to his magic vigilante son

- Danny decides to Be Gay and Do Crimes by tracking down Catwoman and asking her to teach him how to be a cat burglar (without using his powers, because he's trying to challenge himself) to pull off some Robin Hood shit

- Elle and Talia's adventures of trying to save Damian from Ras without alerting him to the fact that Ras is up to shit because they both just want him to not have to deal with that shit

And like, half a dozen other smaller things on top of that that I want to incorporate, but like at what point is it too much? At what point do I atop trying to shove it all in one bag and instead break it down into smaller stuff? Like all of the above could be their own stories (and literally everything I post is up for being used as writing prompts, yall are fantastic and I'd love to read everything yall wrote using those ideas) so should I just make them their own or just keep trying to fold it all in to one thing?

[spacedace]

WAIT I JUST HAD ANOTHER THOUGHT FOR THE DISASTER MEET THE INLAWS DINNER:

okay context: so in this AU, Danny and Dan are the only ones who don't know the batfam secret. Jazz figured it out when they first moved in next door to Jason. Damian told Elle after she trusted him with the truth about being a halfa. Elle didn't tell anyone else since it was a secret Damian trusted her with, while Jazz & Jason assumed that everyone else in the Nightingale family knew and never really brought it up.

It just completely sailed over Dan & Danny's heads. Even though part of the deal the family worked out with the Spirit of Gotham is to help protect her Bats and Birds (that's why Dan ended up in Bludhaven, to help keep Nightwing safe) and they regularly (secretly) follow the batfam around during patrols and fights to help make sure nothing bad happens to them.

Which brings us to the disaster dinner where, after things have almost calmed down from the chaos and embarrassment of Elle and Damian's power point & movie, everyone is actually almost getting along. Turns out, getting horribly roasted by the two gremlins helped break the ice a bit. It's kinda hard for the Bats to hold on to as much of the suspicion for the Nightingales as before when they just watched a supercut of everyone’s most embarrassing moments from the past five years with color commentary from the Chaos Duo.

Which is to say Danny is feeling comfortable enough - with some edging on by Elle - to reveal his conspiracy theory about who Batman is, to Bruce.

Just looks Bruce straight in the eye and with his whole heart and soul asks, "So, like you're for sure Batman's sugar daddy right?" -

Tagging for those who asked: @screamingtofillthevoid @stargirl1331 @mnemovoid @malice-of-the-sunrise @bathildaburp @autumnwulf @revnantdpxdclover @coruscateselene @writer-extraodinaire @idfk-man10 @fluffen-spooky @frostedthroughghost @akikkobara @unadulteratedsoulsweets @phoenixdemonqueen @overlycaffeinatedsuperwholockfan @gin2212 @emotional-otter @lexdamo @dixiwoods @wildbacon @ashleysmshly @that-random-fangirl @satanicrutialspecialist @lazy-bouqet @treepainting @busterkeel @gin2212 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @jaggedheart11 @introvert-even-on-the-internet

[spacedace]

The Nightingales appear in the Bowery one day in the summer.

There had been no moving truck, no arduous trips carrying boxes and furniture up the five flights of stairs to their apartment, no picking up keys from the super. There hadn’t been any paperwork done either, for that matter. They had simply appeared, fully settled into an apartment that had been empty for three years.

The Nightingales moved to the Bowery one day in the summer.

Hauling up furniture and boxes the five stories of steps to their apartment. The one they'd been lucky to get thanks to a mistake that hadn't been caught until it was too late. A broken family, trying to put the pieces back together after hardship, keep their heads down, get through the days. Same as anyone else this side of the city.

There was no reason to pay much attention, save perhaps Jason's interest in tall women with red hair that looked like they could throw him across the street.

The Nightingales were a normal family.

Gotham made sure of it.

---

First part of Gotham’s Favorite Therapist Jazz AU (probably going to be renamed Gotham’s Favorite Ghosts AU because there’s just so much more planned for the story now lol) series is up!

The first chapter is something I already posted on tumblr, but I have the other two chapters of this story already completed with the next one going to be posted next week.

This is going to be the first fic in a series, with the plan being that each story will likely be a little on the shorter side (we’ll see if I actually keep them short if they all end up ridiculously long lol) and will bounce between characters & plot points and points on the timeline.

My hope is that I’ll be able to write each one while posting the chapters for the previous one so that it stays fairly steady update wise, but we’ll see how life and the executive functions go lol

Tag time! I’m going to try and tag everyone that’s asked for a tag on all my posts on the Gotahm’s Favorite Therapist AU so this may be a bit long lol

@thegatorsgoose @ver-444 @coruscateselene @meira-3919 @skulld3mort-1fan @cursivemissive @thedepressedrobin @screamingtofillthevoid @stargirl1331 @thewondersoflebanon @akikkobara @overlycaffeinatedsuperwholockfan @itsloveleo @spectralstardustandphantomnights @nutcase8691 @malice-of-the-sunrise @mnemovoid @leftmiraclechaos @sailor-goddess @phoenixdemonqueen @rin1sakami @lazy-bouqet @semkirk @cass-brightwood ​ @bathildaburp @autumnwulf @revnantdpxdclover @writer-extraodinaire @fluffen-spooky @frostedthroughghost @unadulteratedsoulsweets @emotional-otter @lexdamo @that-random-fangirl @satanicrutialspecialist@ @treepainting @busterkeel @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @jaggedheart11 @introvert-even-on-the-internet

[spacedace]

Fair warning that i've not fuly pinned down the plot for the fic yet, i've just written a collection of snippets that don't always have continuity with each other as I get a feel for what I want in the story itself lol

[spacedace]

Final chapter for the prolog fic is out!

The Nightingales appear in the Bowery one day in the summer.

There had been no moving truck, no arduous trips carrying boxes and furniture up the five flights of stairs to their apartment, no picking up keys from the super. There hadn’t been any paperwork done either, for that matter. They had simply appeared, fully settled into an apartment that had been empty for three years.

The Nightingales moved to the Bowery one day in the summer.

Hauling up furniture and boxes the five stories of steps to their apartment. The one they'd been lucky to get thanks to a mistake that hadn't been caught until it was too late. A broken family, trying to put the pieces back together after hardship, keep their heads down, get through the days. Same as anyone else this side of the city.

There was no reason to pay much attention, save perhaps Jason's interest in tall women with red hair that looked like they could throw him across the street.

The Nightingales were a normal family.

Gotham made sure of it.

[spacedace]

Chapter two is up!

I may have accidentally updated this chapter to the wrong fic. I may also be in desperate need of sleep. It is what it is lol

[spacedace]

Woo! Finally finished the first bit of the Gotham's Favorite Therapist Jazz AU!

Though honestly it needs a new AU name since it has very much grown well outside of that initial idea lol. Maybe Gotham's Favorite Ghosts AU? The Spirit of Gotham is fully a character in this, and the whole thing takes place over the course of 6 years with various different story beats going on, only one of which is Jazz working with the rogues. If anyone has any ideas let me know 😄

Anyway, the plan is to have it be a series of shorter fics (in theory they'll be shorter at least, we'll see what happens lol). The first of which is ready to go and covers some of how the Nightingales (Jazz, Danny, Elle & Dan) ended up in Gotham, from the perspective of Gotham herself.

Gonna post it on AO3 later today once I get through more work lol I'll post the link here when I do 😄

[kyrianclawraith]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

—

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!���

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“…Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[spacedace]

Ooh please do!! I would love to read anything you wrote based on this prompt! Please tag me if you do write anything!

So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.

[spacedace]

Apparently there is a tag limit I didn't know about and I ran out of space for all the tags, let me try this again

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

—

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“…Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[fisher-with-the-morbs]

I've been working on a dp x dc fic that has rather quickly become the home of the "Jazz is Gotham's Favorite Psychiatrist" au I posted about a few days ago and I've just really fell in love with the idea of Queer Platonic Murder Gremlins Damian & Dani/Elle being absolute terrors to their family and deciding to get married when they turn 18 for the sake of avoiding various people trying to date/marry them to get to their family's respective shit (the Wayne's money & social standing in Gotham as billionaire socialites, the Nightingale's massive power and influence over the Infinite Realms as the royal family).

Damien casually mentions he and his demon beastie Elle got married the day before without even glancing up from his food and completely derailing what was actually turning out to be a pretty calm family dinner for once. His siblings are losing their shit because what the fuck Damian, Bruce is having a crisis - he didn’t even know they were dating??? And he just found out Elle's sister/guardian is the mysterious doctor that he thinks is making some of his rogues disappear??? Damian didn’t even invite them to the wedding has he completely failed as a father?? - meanwhile Alfred is just there knowing full well that the two kids are little Aro/Ace menaces - he bought them each their first Ace ring for Pride this year he knows what's up - and deciding "actually I have something to do in the kitchen" and letting the chaos reign.

The Nightingales are fully aware of what's up (Danny was the one who had to do the presiding over everything in the Ghost Zone side of things and Jazz is a notary on top of everything else and signed off on all the paperwork on the human side) and are just enjoying all the various entities that were pushing for an arranged marriage between themselves and Elle for power or whatever bullshit having hissy fits over losing to some human kid. They're especially having fun not telling Constantine the specifics of the whole thing and letting him sweat it out over the fact that the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms apparently just married the "Demon Heir" whoever in - literal - hell that is and she now is in possession of all his soul contracts.

[little-pondhead]

That’s exactly what I do you’re not alone.

Does anyone else have the thing where they just end up trying to pack The Most ™️ into a fic? Like, I have an initial, simple premise, then my brain is like, hey remember all these other things? Let's squash em in there, they fit.

And like, I can make them fit, but at what point is it too much? At what point is there no more room for things to make sense?

Take for example my Gotham's Favorite Psychiatrist Jazz AU, it started simple with the idea "hey what if Jazz said fuck Arkham and tried to work directly with the rogues and gave the Batfam a crisis in the process?" Then it expanded to include some fun BatPham chaos and shenanigans (see the disaster dinner snippets lol) and now I'm working on trying to fit in such bangers as:

- Dan adopts feral gremlin Billy after the kid tries to steal his wallet and is a supportive dad to his magic vigilante son

- Danny decides to Be Gay and Do Crimes by tracking down Catwoman and asking her to teach him how to be a cat burglar (without using his powers, because he's trying to challenge himself) to pull off some Robin Hood shit

- Elle and Talia's adventures of trying to save Damian from Ras without alerting him to the fact that Ras is up to shit because they both just want him to not have to deal with that shit

And like, half a dozen other smaller things on top of that that I want to incorporate, but like at what point is it too much? At what point do I atop trying to shove it all in one bag and instead break it down into smaller stuff? Like all of the above could be their own stories (and literally everything I post is up for being used as writing prompts, yall are fantastic and I'd love to read everything yall wrote using those ideas) so should I just make them their own or just keep trying to fold it all in to one thing?