#got work tomorrow so i cant play it right away which sucks ugh

[percydoodless]

THE FLIPSIDE IS OUT IN A FEW HOURS BABY. LEMME HEAR YALL CHEER CMON NOW

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[scintillating-galaxias]

Love Notes

my first chapter of my fic for thunderrod week! i cant wait to see everyone’s works! :D

-

Rodimus starts finding a series of love notes outside the door to his hab suite. He's determined to find out who is leaving them behind. (read it here on ao3!)

-

“And stay off of level seven tonight! Magnus is on duty there, and he’s not gonna be as nice about it if you run into him.”

“Yes, sir! Thanks for the heads up!”

Rodimus huffed fondly as Tailgate sped by him with a cheery wave, the hum of his hoverboard rising and falling as he zoomed around the corner. He made a note to ask Tailgate about where to get his servos on one of those sometime. High speeds, slight peril, and the constant possibility of giving Ultra Magnus a spark attack? What wasn’t to love? It could never replace meteor surfing, but it’d be a suitable substitute until they came across another shower.

He turned to his hab suite door to tap in the passcode when a flash of red caught his eye. The crest of his helm twitched slightly as he plucked it off the frame of his door. It was a note—a real, paper note. It felt strange to have something so flimsy in his servos. He gingerly wiggled a digit underneath the shiny red seal that was keeping the paper folded shut. It popped off smoothly, revealing a single sentence written in offensively neat, bold, black penmanship:

You put the brightest of stars to shame.

Rodimus shuttered his optics once, and then twice, and then a third time for good measure. He brought the note closer to his face, flipped it over a few times, even held it up to the light, before jerking it away to snap his helm up and down the hallway. It was, obviously, completely empty. No one was there shyly peeking around the corner. No one dropped out of the vent to shout ‘surprise!’ at him. He looked back to the note.

“Jeez,” he said. He finished typing in the rest of his passcode and hurried inside his hab suite without looking away. He deftly navigated the drawing irons on the ground he kept vowing to pick up and sat down behind his desk.

You put the brightest of stars to shame.

Rodimus smothered a silly grin and tried to focus. There were so few reasons to write anything when datapads existed, hardly anyone ever actually wrote things down. So unless he wanted to go make over two hundred mechs write down the message until he found a match, guessing on penmanship alone wouldn’t be possible.

There were a dozen other ways he could figure it out—requesting security footage, setting up a twenty-four-hour watch out in the hallway, Pit, just asking around would probably yield some answers. Yet he felt oddly reluctant to do so. True, he was insanely curious about who the sender could be, and it took everything in him not to call Nightbeat right away to tell him about another case. But he also wanted to see things play out on their own. It could be… exciting. Fun, even. The kind of fun he hadn’t had in a long, long time.

(And he wouldn’t complain if he got a few more notes like this.)

He decisively planted his chin on the tops of his servos. If the notes suddenly turned creepy or threatening, then he’d act accordingly. But for now…

.:drift:.

.:drift:.

.:driiiiiift:.

.:Yes?:.

.:can you come to my hab suite? there’s something weird i wanna show you:.

.: I’m feeling oddly disinclined given the last ‘weird’ thing you wanted to show me involved your exhaust pipes exploding in my face.:.

.: it’s way weirder:.

.: I’ll there soon.:.

Sure enough, a few faithful moments later, a polite knock sounded at the door. It slid open a second later, and Drift strode in with a curious tilt to his finials.

“What is it?” he asked as he came to a stop before Rodimus’ desk.

Rodimus handed him the note. “Someone left this outside my door,” he said as Drift took the paper from his servos. “I wanna know what you think of it.”

Drift sat down on the edge of his desk as he read the note over. His optics crinkled slightly in an amused smile. “I think someone’s very interested in you,” he said.

“Yeah, no slag, but I wanna figure out who. But like, the old fashioned way.”

“Hmm.” Drift gave the note back to Rodimus. “I can’t think of anyone off of the top of my head.”

“I’m guessing whoever put it there must have gone out of their way to get paper,” Rodimus mused. It made sense. Everything aboard the Lost Light was tech and metal. Any organic materials would likely only be found in the labs for whatever reason the science folks needed them.

“And there’s even a wax seal,” Drift pointed out. “I think it’s a human tradition to seal letters with a wax stamp, but I could be wrong. Either way, whoever it is clearly cares a lot about you.”

“So it’s probably from someone who I’ve already got some kind relationship with. Someone who’s been with me since the beginning of the quest.” Rodimus drummed the tips of his digits across his desk. Then he pulled a datapad from a drawer and pulled up a roster of the mechs on board. After a few swipes, the roster shrank from two-hundred to around forty mechs. “Not Magnus,” Rodimus said after a moment, crossing his name from the list. Drift snorted.

“Definitely not. Besides, I don’t see him being so indirect about it.”

“Or poetic.” The energon drained from Rodimus’ face. “Oh, Primus, you don’t think—?”

“I sincerely doubt Megatron is even persuing a romantic relationship of any kind,” Drift quickly assured. “Even if he were, I don’t think he’d be using love notes to tell you.”

Love notes. Now that was a phrase Rodimus hadn’t heard since he’d graduated from the Academy. It made him feel eons older and younger simultaneously. He grinned. “He’d probably see it as a waste of time. Sucks to be him, love notes are great.”

“How would you know?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“You know, you never did finish telling me that story about you, Two-Step, and the scented—”

“Not about me!” Rodimus hissed as Drift chuckled. He shot him an ineffective glare before swiping another line across the datapad. Then he glanced over at the note again. “Actually, hold on, look. It’s got the Nyon dialect, look, there are the weird swirlies on everything…”

“Oh, you’re right. So they could either be from Nyon—”

“Or they’re trying to impress me.”

“I was going to say they could simply also be very thoughtful, but that’s an option too. I guess.”

Rodimus hummed. “Not Mags, not Megs… Someone who’s been with me since the beginning... Is it you?”

“I’m a married mech, Rodimus.”

Rodimus curled his free servo and swung his forearm in a small damn motion. “Had to try.” Drift rolled his optics and shook his helm as Rodimus crossed his name off with a small tsk.

They continued back and forth like that for a while, slowly whittling down the list from forty to thirty to twenty potential mechs. Even then, barely any of them particularly leaped out at Rodimus as the potential note-sender. The only one that really seemed to match in terms of thoughtfulness and care was Thunderclash. Which had to be wrong, because one, there was no way a mech like him was still single, and two, they barely knew each other. Well. He knew some stuff about Thunderclash, like his favorite drink, and how his laugh filled up a whole room, but that didn’t count.

“It’s getting late,” Drift eventually said. His optics were beginning to dim with exhaustion. “We should pick this up in the morning, though.”

Rodimus glanced down at the time on his datapad in surprise. “Scrap. I have a morning shift tomorrow too. Ugh.”

“Have fun with that.” Drift gracefully pushed himself up and off the desk and made for the door. “Maybe whoever sent it will come forward soon. We’ll just have to wait, I suppose.”

“Guess so.” Rodimus stretched, groaning as struts in his back tensed and released. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“Anytime.” Drift smiled. “Good night.”

“‘Night.”

As the near-silent sound of Drift’s pedes faded away, Rodimus shut off the datapad and picked up the note once again. The berth sank slightly beneath his weight as he sat down on the edge of it, still reading the note.

You put the brightest of stars to shame.

Feeling warm, he placed the note on his nightstand before he reached over and turned out the lights. A pleased smile spread across his face, and did not entirely disappear as he finally slipped into sleep.

[spidxysense]

Back to You | 1

Summary: He broke your heart, but you’d always love him. Two souls that not even the universe could tear apart, even if you wanted it to at times.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: I told you guys I'd update to the best of my abilities!!! Hope you guys enjoy, just a bit of a filler, next chapter will be pretty intense so watch out for that. As always I hope you enjoy. I'll clean up the whole post tomorrow if there's a laptop or computer nearby since I'm just updating via cellphone.

Word count: not quite sure.

Prologue | 1 | 2

3 months later

“I’m home!” You hear the door slam from inside of what’s become your room and you het up from your seat, hoodie and sweatpants still on.

“I see you still look the same as when I left you this morning.” Troye gives you a pointed look that has you staring at him with an unamuzed face as you slumped your shoulders, “And not in a mood to joke around, I see.” He pulls out a bottle of wine that clinks with the other bottes in the paper bag and hands it over to you, “That’s for you, my little alcoholic.” He pats your head.

You sit down at the table, your right knee brought close to your chest and your left leg up on the chair as well, “How is the outside world?” You place the bottle on the table, “Is loaf bread still a thing?”

Troye snorts in laughter, “She finally speaks! And bonus, actually made a witty quip.” He ducks down to place the detergents under the sink, “I don’t think I’ve seen you sober without a hangover in two months.” He sits down on the chair in front of you and smiles sadly at you, he reaches across the table, squeezing your hand, “How are you today, love?”

You sigh, pulling your hood off, and taking out the bun in your hair before redoing it, “I don’t know, I still feel like shit.”

“Obviously.” He mutters under his breath, “You two were together for 3 years, you can’t just fucking break that up and not feel like shit for a long time.” He scoffs, “You can do sooo much better, Y/N.” His eyes soften up, “You know, he called me again today. I bullshitted him, obviously, he also asked about why my landline wasn’t in service.”

You eye the wire from the phone that you cut when you’d heard his voice from the answering machine, and you give him an apologetic look.

“And your sister called again too. She was worried.”

You sigh, rubbing your face in frustration, “I just cant talk to them right now. I don’t want to have to talk about him when I’m this out of it. They loved him so much.”

Troye sighs and stands up, walking behind your chair and undoes your bun, brushing his fingers through your hair, getting the tangles out, “Look Y/N. When you showed up on my doorstep three months ago soaking wet with blisters on your feet, I told you to do what you need for as long as you need to. I told you to stay for as long as you needed to. But for the past three months, you’ve been getting drunk and crying over him, this isn’t getting over it anymore, it’s just regression.” He grabs you by the shoulders and turns you to face him, “You are a strong independent woman, and I absolutely love having you here with me, but some things need to change.” He pulls you up and over to your room, “You room is a literal pig-sty.”

He runs over to your laptop, “And you can’t keep getting updates on him.” He shows you the articles opened up on your browser from months ago as he closes them one by one.

“Tom Holland steps out looking fresh from a cry with red puffy eyes and disheveled hair.” Closed.

“Tom Holland eats alone at restaurant, phone glued to his ear as he tries to contact Y/N?” Closed.

“Tom Holland takes dog Tessa out for a walk lookng tired and depressed.” Closed.

“Spider-man actor quitting franchise over relationship problems?” I point an accusing finger towards the article, “In my defense, I got a lot of shit for that, and I didn’t defend myself even if it was just clickbait because I promised myself that I wouldn’t go on social media!” Closed.

“Oh I’ll get to that.” He nudged your shoulder pushing you to sit on the bed.

“Tom Holland caught getting emotional on the phone.” Closed.

“Trouble in paradise? Tom spotted out once again, without Y/N in sight.” Closed.

“Tom Holland, spotted out and about, Y/N still as phone background, have the two worked out their problems?”

“Y/N spotted for the first time in months looking haggard as she grabs a bite to eat at local London Bakery.” He gives you a deadpanned look, “Seriously?”

You shrug, “That’s on you. You were gone for the whole day and I had nothing to eat.”

He sighs, closing the browser window with multiple tabs about Tom still opened, “Sweetie, you have got to stop caring so much. I understand that you love him and you two were in love.” He makes a stupid mushy face, “But he hurt you! Live your life, you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”  He opens the next browser window still opened on Tom’s instagram and twitter, “Exhibit B.” He gives you a look before closing the browser.

“You’ve written so many good songs too! But you won’t even share them with the world.” He sat down next to you, clicking around on your laptop before the room is filled with your voice, singing.

You look over at him, “You really think they’re good?”

“I have literally cried with you at night while you would sing.”

You sigh, “I can’t sing right now. I just don’t feel like I can release at album where I’m at emotionally.”

“Then sell some of these to musicians who will, your songs deserve to be heard around the world. And for goodness’ sake, Y/N. Read this will you? It’s been in the mail bin for a month now, they’ve wanted to meet with you for a while now.” He throws a script on your bed

“You aren’t this stupid crying child, Y/N. You are fabulous and you didn’t need a man before Tom, why the hell would need one now?” He has his hands on his hips, “The Y/N I know is better than this. So unless you plan on being her again, then I’m gonna have to cut you off.” He grabs the half finished wine bottle on your dresser before slamming the door shut behind him, “Clean up your room and I’ll call uou when we need to leave to have lunch outside for once.”

You look over at the script on the bed, “The Greatest Showman”, and turn to the first page.

----------------------------------

“Yeah, I just finished reading the script.” You speak into the phone you kept for business, “I love it.”

“Wait-” Your manager’s voice sounds excited on the other end, “Does this mean you’re going to do it?”

You bite your lip, “Yeah. I think I am, I’m done with this. I don’t want to sit around getting drunk and cry all the time. I’ll send you some compositions I’ve been making these past few months, maybe find some artists who could use the sound on their albums.”

“Th-this is great news, Y/N!” She practically shouts into the phone, “Alright, this is perfect. We’ll fly you out the LA in a few days and you can meet with the directors, meet with the rest of the cast. They’ll be so happy to hear this, I mean, you were their first choice.” she sighs happily, “Alright, well I’ll go ahead and email you the details. I’ll get on the phone with them asap so we can arrange this whole thing!” She pasues, “I’m really proud of you, Y/N.”

“Does this mean you don’t want to be my roommate anymore?” You turn to see Troye pouting with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

You roll your eyes, holding out your arms for a hug, “No way. You’re my bitch forever now.” You laugh, “Thanks for the tough love.” He rubs your back while hugging you, “I really needed it.”

“Ugh, I know you did. It sucked having to be so mean to you.” He pulls away from you, “But please don’t ever ever wear anything like what you were wearing in that article, you looked like garbage.” He scoffs at you, “Now go get dressed and we can talk all about your new movie over lunch!" He squeals.

_________________________

"So glad you could make it, Y/N." Michael leans over to give you a handshake which you take gratefilly, "Hopefully the flight wasn't too tough on you. You've been in London so long, I'm sure you'd have jetlag coming back here."

"It was great! I'm so sorry about not getting back to you sooner, I was gling through some stuf-"

He holds his open palm, "Oh, say no more. I understand, you've been very strong amidst your relationship problems and have stayed above it." He compliments you, taking a bite out of his grilled chicken.

Ylu paste on a tense smile, "We all deal with it in our own ways." You sigh, remembering the days you'd spend drinking glass after glass of wine or whatever liquor was available.

"Anyway, so we wanted you for the role of Anne Wheeler, a pink haired trapeze artist and acrobat who falls in love with Hugh Jackman's business partner and protege, Philippe Carlyle." He ponders for a while, "Obviously we had you in mind for Anne, and we also had Ben Hardy in mind for Philippe, but since you were taking a while to give your answer, we honestly did start approaching other people for the roles and since Ben wasn't too keen on the role after finding out we might be going for Zendaya, it was just more work to get done before the production even started, but now that we have you aboard, everything's going according to plan!"

You clench your glass of water at the mention of Zendaya, you were definitely not feeling well enough to be around too many people, "So…" you play with the table napkin, tearing it to smaller bits and pieces starting at the corner, "When does filming start?"

He munches on some mashed potatoes, "We were hoping to start next month so it would probably.take a good 3 to 5 months to shoot, but your filming would probably be shorter since this is focused more in Hugh's character."

You clasp your hands together, "Perfect, I love it!"

"So, we'll send over the contract within a day or two to your manager, and we'll just pick up from there." He stands up to give you a quick hug.

__________________________________

You hop out the car, walking straight to the elevator in your hotel, your manager following closely behind, "He's your phone. Troye told me you broke it after throwing it against the wall." She looks over at me nervously, "I thought it'd be good for you to listen to his voice every now and then."

You take it without saying a word and stuf fit in your pocket, ignoring the constant dings and alerts coming from it as your manager gets off at the 12 floor. You grip the phone tight in your hand. You knew you didn't hate Tom, you walk out the elevator and towards your room, kicking off your shoes and finding more comfortable clothes to wear.

You could never hate him. But a part of you was afraid of all the messages he'd left you you were scared that if you opened them, you'd come crawling back to him, or if you heard him pleading for you to come back, you'd do it in a heartbeat.

You lie in bed, pondering over the phone, technically, you didn't need to open the messages.

0601 you hear a 'click' before a picture of your scrunched up face as Tom kisses your cheek greets you and you feel your heart ache. You open the photo gallery, and while your scrolling through all the pictures and videos, you accidentally press kn a video.

"I am with a child." You laugh as you watch him,it was raining in London, but you two were out and about, "Babe, let's get back to the car. We can just drive there."

You point the camera towards him as he jumps in a puddle, laughing loudly, pulling you along, "What are you doing with that umbrella? Get over here!" He pulls the umbrella away, "I love you." He mumbles before embracing you and giving you a kiss.

You pull away, giving him a look, "We're gonna be late to the movies, you know."

He shrugs, grinning at you and looking you like a lovesick puppy, he pulls you in again, "It's just the movies." He grins against your lips.

And then suddenly the video cuts and you're left there missing him and missing who the two of you used to be.

You smile sadly at the black screen, clutching it closer to your chest as you hug your phone, the closest thing you had to Tom, as you drift off to sleep.

[anothersvtwriter]

Jeonghan/Reader

Warnings: Oral (male receiving), Degradation, Rough, Spitting (just once tho), hair-pulling, bit of a Sir kink... that’s about it. Enjoy😌

When you finally get home and enter your bedroom you’re surprised to see Jeonghan lying on your bed on his phone.

“Hey,” he says without looking up. “How was class?”

“It was fine,” you tell him with a shrug. “When did you get here?”

Jeonghan shrugs back. “Probably around 3.”

You take off your jacket, crawl into bed, and put your head on his thigh. Jeonghan places a hand on your head to pet your hair.

“I thought you were supposed to be at home all day studying?” You say after a moment.

Jeonghan scoffs. “As if that was actually going to happen. I studied for like three hours, then got bored.”

You make a sound of acknowledgement, but your focus has already drifted; gaze locked onto his crotch.

You had woken up late that morning due to having stayed the night at Jeonghan’s place where you both spent the night binge watching a new show. So you woke up that morning in his bed with an arm around your waist, back against his chest, and your late alarm blaring. Once you turned off the alarm you stretched, arching your back and pushing your butt back against him, not particularly concerned with the morning wood you could feel. In the beginning of your relationship that was something that always surprised and aroused you and usually led to some morning sex. However, you had now been together for a while and you were running late, so you paid it no mind and started to scootch your way out of bed. Jeonghan’s arm tightened around you and he groaned as he pulled you flush against him again. 

 “Baby, I have class in like 30 minutes. I need to go,” you told him.

“No, stay here. Sleep with me some more,” he muttered into your neck and you rolled your eyes.

“I get extra credit for having perfect attendance in this class, Hannie.”

“You don’t need extra credit, you get A’s on everything.” He threw a leg over you and pulled you in closer and now you could really feel his hard on pressing into you.

“I gotta- I gotta go, Jeonghan,” you stuttered, suddenly feeling very conflicted.

“Ugh, fine.” Jeonghan released you and you moved away from him quickly, trying to shake off the sudden arousal you felt.

“I have a test tomorrow so I’m probably gonna be holed up in here all day,” he told you, watching you dig clothes out of your bag.

“Can I come by later tonight?” You asked him as you wandered to the bathroom.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

You got yourself together, kissed your boyfriend goodbye, and headed for your first class of the day. As you drove you thought to yourself, I am so sucking his dick tonight.

From that moment on, it was all you could think about. You sat in your classes and thought about how good it felt on your tongue, how hot he looked and sounded, and how when he got really into it he would tangle his fingers in your hair. You could actually feel how wet you were by the time your last class ended and you wanted nothing more than to go straight Jeonghan’s, but you held back because he was studying. Now, here he was, in your bed, absentmindedly playing with his phone. He removes his hand from your hair and you whine up at him, but he pays you no mind, eyes focused on whatever game he’s playing.

“Hannie,” you murmur after a moment. Jeonghan hums and you nuzzle into his thigh. “Hannie.”

“What is it, baby?” He laughs.

You slide your hand up the leg of his shorts and you feel the muscle in his thigh jump at the sudden contact, but he says nothing.

“Wanna suck you off, Hannie,” you tell him, wrapping your hand around his flaccid length and rubbing a thumb over the thick vein in the middle.

“No one’s stopping you,” Jeonghan mutters, still focusing on his phone. You can tell by the nonchalance in his tone and the way that he’s not giving you the time of day, that Jeonghan has every intention of making you work for it.

You sit up and take your hand from inside his shorts to shimmy them down his hips a little. Jeonghan snorts at the frustrated sound you make when he doesn’t lift his hips up to make it easier for you.

“Jeonghan, stop being mean,” you huff. 

Jeonghan spares you a quick glance, amusement in his eyes and a smirk on his mouth. You give him a halfhearted glare back and lean down to nip at his hipbone which turns into sucking a hickey into his skin. Jeonghan does spread his legs for you to settle between them. You pepper kisses along his lower-stomach and hips, occasionally grazing your teeth over him. You move down, running your tongue across his inner thigh and sucking another hickey there. 

Jeonghan’s cock twitches in interest and you glance up at him, catching his eyes on you for a split second before he’s looking away. You smirk to yourself as you wrap a hand around the base of his dick, half-hard by now, and press your lips against the tip. When you let the head into your mouth and swirl your tongue, you hear Jeonghan let out a sigh. You work your mouth over him until he’s fully hard and his dick is slippery with your spit. You pump your hand along his length at a leisurely pace and place your cheek against his thigh to look up at him.

 He’s hard, but he still won’t pay attention to you, eyes focused while he plays some type of rhythm game. 

 “Hannie,” you whine because this is not what you wanted, not what you fantasized about all day. After a moment when he doesn’t reply, you repeat yourself and mouth along the side of his shaft.

 “Hm?”

“It’s like I’m not sucking you off or something...”

Jeonghan flits his eyes to you, and there’s a passive look there that would probably make you shrink back if not for the slight upward curve of his mouth.

“Stop being a big baby; you said you wanted to suck my cock and I’m letting you,” he says. “Being a little cockslut doesn’t warrant you anything. If you want me to entertain you then do better.”

His tone is harsh in that way that makes you whimper and pump him a little faster, your whole body tingling in arousal. Jeonghan only talks to you like this when you’re between his legs and desperate to get him off, knows you like it when he’s a little degrading.

So, you double your efforts. You take him back into your mouth and suck eagerly at the head, rubbing your tongue against that sensitive bundle of nerves right underneath and simultaneously sliding your hand up and down his length.

Jeonghan stutters out a breath, a small moan escaping him that makes you want to smile in satisfaction.

“That’s a bit better, but you’re still not impressing me, baby,” he says, hips canting up the slightest bit.

Knowing what he wants, you pull back for a second to take a breath before slowly sliding his cock into your mouth until the tip is at the back of your throat. Jeonghan curses softly and his hips push up, making you scramble back as you gag at the sudden feeling. You hear Jeonghan sigh and click his tongue in disapproval. Suddenly, his hand is in your hair, roughly pulling your head back so you have to look up at him.

“Can’t even take it down your throat? I thought I trained you better than that,” he teases, sweet voice sounding cruel and you both know that you’d do anything to please him at this moment.

“You did, Hannie. I’m sorry, I wasn’t-“

“You weren’t what? Weren’t ready for it? If you were a good whore, you’d take anything and everything I give you.” Jeonghan wraps a hand around his dick and starts pumping himself. You squirm and a desperate sound leaves your lips before a cry when he tightens his hand in your hair.

“Keep whining and you can just watch me jack myself off.”

“No, please let me. Please, Hannie, I’m sorry. Please, please...” you start to ramble, trying to find anyway to get him to let you put your mouth back on him. While you know Jeonghan would very much prefer to cum down your throat, you also know he has enough self control and is sadistic enough to get himself off with his hand and leave you high and dry.

“I... I’ll... I’ll do better, Sir. Please, let me do better for you, Sir,” you say finally. 

Jeonghan smirks and he pulls you closer so he can tap his heavy cock against the side of your face. “Mm, I like how that sounds, baby,” he mumbles, loosening his grip in your hair and running his fingers through it. “Who do you belong to, pretty girl?”

“I belong to you, Sir,” you reply, beaming inwardly at the praise.

“And you’re gonna be good for me, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Jeonghan presses down on your bottom lip with his thumb and you take it into your mouth, suckling on the appendage and looking up at him with wide eyes. Jeonghan chuckles and removes his thumb from your mouth.

“Such a sweet girl... come on, try again.”

Jeonghan pushes your hair from your face to watch you sink your mouth down his length again. This time when he raises his hips you stay where you are, relaxing your throat and breathing through your nose as best as you can. Jeonghan uses the grip he has on your hair to pull you forward and back in time with the movement of his hips, slowly fucking your mouth.

“That’s it,” he hisses between clenched teeth when your pushed all the way down his cock, nose against his pelvis. He holds you there, hips gently rocking, until your eyes tear up and you tap at his thigh to get him to let you up. A lewd, wet sound comes from your mouth when Jeonghan pulls you off. You gasp for air and give a weak cough, forehead resting on his hip.

Jeonghan pets your head and whispers praises under his breath as you collect yourself.

“Wanna stop?” Jeonghan asks after a moment.

“No,” you shake your head. “Wanna make you cum, Sir.”

There’s silence, so you glance up at him through bleary eyes. Your gazes meet and Jeonghan smiles at you softly. He caresses your cheek and pulls you up so he can slot his lips over yours, kissing you sweetly. As soon as it starts it’s over, Jeonghan’s fingers going from a soft caress to pressing into your jaw, forcing your mouth open, and his other hand is around your neck.

“Then put your mouth back on my cock, whore.” As if to punctuate his statement, he spits into your mouth before pushing you back down so your level with his dick once more.

You feel dizzy with the sudden change in attitude, Jeonghan giving you whiplash with how quickly he changed. However, you also feel your body pulse with more heat. You go back to sucking him, switching between just licking around the tip and taking him as deep as you can. Jeonghan starts to make more noise, going from groaning low in his throat to high, keening moans and you know he’s close. He’s fucking your throat with a vigor now; muttering to himself words that you catch here and there, going between praises and degrading names.

“... just a slut for me, aren’t you?”

“... such a good girl.”

“... gonna cum all in my dirty girl’s mouth.”

“... making me feel so good, baby.”

Jeonghan goes on like this for a little until tears are streaming down your face and you can feel yourself shaking both from the exertion and the arousal you feel from being used like this.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps, voice high and breathy. “Gonna cum, baby.”

Jeonghan loosens his grip in your hair enough for you to pull back and suckle on the head of his cock, digging your tongue into the slit and paying attention to the sensitive skin under.

When he cums, Jeonghan lets out a pretty, high pitched moan along with thick spurts of cum across your tongue.

“Ah, ah, okay... okay, stop,” he tells you weakly after a while when you keep lapping at his cock long after his orgasm. You pull back and smile up at him, feeling pride swell up in your chest at the glazed over look of bliss in his eyes.

“You okay?” Jeonghan runs a thumb under your eye, tracing the tear marks on your cheek.

“Yeah,” You croak out, laughing after at the wrecked sound of your voice.

“Come here.”

Jeonghan beckons you up and you follow, sliding up to kiss him. You kiss each other gently, tongues sliding together slowly and you sigh happily into his mouth.

“You did so well, my love,” Jeonghan mutters, lips grazing your own as he speaks. “So good to me.” His hand slips from where it was resting on your waist, dipping his fingers into the waistband of your skirt.

“Hannie...” you breathe.

“Wanna reward you for being so good,” Jeonghan says with a flirty smile. “Why don’t you take this off for me? I want you to ride my face, love.”

[izzyhcnds]

for the ask me things, all the ones featuring the numbers 4, 6 and 8.

….sophie…. omg…. i love this. thank you. im going to put these answers under a cut because i got a bit chaotic while answering these and it ended up very long. update: tumblr sucks and i cant seem to put in a cut so im very sorry if this takes up your whole dash.4: Do you drink? yes! I didn’t for a long time but then i became a #disaster

6: Age you get mistaken for? like around 18 ish. though i am still occasionally carded for 16 things.

8: Want any tattoos? i do! but I have never decided on one for long enough to actually want to get it so maybe in a while if i still like the idea i have just now! 

14: Biggest turn offs smokingggggggggggggggggggggg. the smell just doesn’t come off and i hate it

16: I’ll love you if you’re a genuine person. cant stand people who are just all mean or all nice. theres something wrong with everyone but theres still no need to be nasty. 

18: Most traumatic experienceheres a fun trauma instead - i dislocated and broke my toe by walking into a doorframe…. six months later i did it again. on the same damn door. i stopped coming in contact with that door, so i thought i might finally be safe. Earlier this year I went to london. my friend and i were going to go out dancing. i poured my first drink. didnt even take a god damn sip. i walked into the bed. my toe popped right the fuck out. i had to phone the nhs emergency line and had to figure out if i was being a wimp. i was not being a wimp. hopped down to reception, ordered a taxi, got to the hospital and gave everyone a laugh as i fully knew what i was doing with the xrays and the laughing gas. it was a Night. we met a cute boy too and bonded over our broken feet and how hard it was to hop. his name was george. miss you boo. 

24: My relationship with my parent(s) its good. i still live with them, which can be a bit… tense. 

26: My biggest pet peeves people eating with their mouths open

28: A description of the person I dislike the mostfun fact theres quite a list! but the most? hes orange, his name rhymes with Ronald Rump and is rapidly taking away the rights of our trans siblings, which is wholly unacceptable. Remember to talk to your representatives and tell them shit like that isnt okay!!. 

34: What I find attractive in women?god i dont even know it changes so damn much cause every pretty girl i see is suddenly the prettiest girl ive ever seen. A genuine smile is usually a constant though.

36: Where I would like to liveI love scotland and i think i always want my home to be here but i’d love to travel some more.

38: My childhood career choicefor most of my life i thought id be dead at 21 (not like a SH thing, i was just convinced going to be murdered or that god was going to smite me) so i never really thought about it, I just did what ever i liked in that moment. 40: Who wish I could bei want to be a bit more badass, so ive started learning a couple of weapons and weightlifting. so thats fun. 

41: Where I want to be rightnow so i work in a windowless room so the simple answer is anywhere but here. more specifically im hanging out with my friends and playing boardgames tonight so there or at my friends where im going for tea tomorrow. im excited.

42: The last thing I ate porridge! 

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediatelyPhoebe Tonkin. I’ve had such a constant crush on her, H20, Secret Circle, The Vampire Diaries/ Originals,, ugh. i loved them all. 

44: A random fact about anythingi always have very detailed day dream on the go, right now our world has just become the atla world and everything is amazing and awesome. its like i can see it. 45: Selfiei took this when i was on my day off from presenting my research at conference and i like it but i never posted it anywhere. my hotel room was great i loved it.

[celestialallstars]

Episode #14: “It's certainly been a day here on Celestial” - Stephen

I think right now, Jared sort of saw it coming, Stephen saw it coming, and I saw it coming. I knew three of us were not making it to the end. I think the troubling thing for me is that like now there are 5 people who all kinda came together to purposefully exclude 2 of us. I won't cry about it- all of us are guilty of it in this merge. Instead, what I will do is just use it to justify what I do from here on out. I've already identified the clusters of Michael/Chloe and then Zach/Bryce. Will be thinking about who to target between these and I most definitely see  Loris as a recent addition. For now, I'll continue to act oblivious and dumb

________________________________________________________________

I know what I'm gonna do, but I'll sleep on it. I think I want to make Bryce/Zach have faith in me again. Think I am gonna be with them. Heck, even have some Gay F4 thing with Loris. I've already told people about the duos, so I want Loris to think I'd prefer him over everybody else (talk in the morning). Bryce, I played the "we are winners, i wanna go to the end with you" card. Zach is who I'll have to work on next...Then there is Michael and Chloe. I'll just keep saying I'm in both of their corners, make them all feel comfortable pretty much, but not sloppily. If it can get me to F6, so be it, in which case, I'll get to decide which of these strats I stick to and move on. I want to  keep this idol for as long as possible, but if I have to, I'll play it, but I can't do it now- it is far too soon.

________________________________________________________________

I feel like this is the game in which people make their moves too early. Bryce, Zach, Rhys all attempted this and got callout for it. Now Loris, Michael, and Chloe are doing it. Had the 3 waited like one more tribal, they'd have sat more pretty in F6 bar the idol and all but now they exposed themselves and what do we say to people who are exposed? That they are threats to everyone else! So my best pitch is to tell Bryce/Zach its in our best interest to work together at least for this vote.

________________________________________________________________

Whether this is the round that kills the game of me or not I just wanna show that like, when I am put into corner, I tend to up the strategy and right this moment, I feel like I am doing that- I just hope it will work

________________________________________________________________

So far I actually feel I may have to use my idol if push comes to shove. Mayhe it'll curry favor if I do but lol I know that the Brits may be together, thats fine. But like at least pretend to still be interested so I won't go after you? Michael says he is open but just by taking to him I could really tell he's sorta had his mind made up, Chloe is like "oh we'll see, rounds are changing always!" and Loris, who clearly got on earlier suddenly fell silent and went offline since I tried talking to him. I'll tell ya what, even if Zach and Bryce are lying, they can at least fake it right

________________________________________________________________

I actually now sympathize for Jack and Matt. Although we ALL (them included) could have handled their situation better, I do know what it is like to be in their position and to know I didnt help them as much makes me think my position now is karmic justice

WELL. Yesterday I was slightly blindsided. I knew Jared wasn't long for this world but to take him out with Bryce and Zach both standing there, totally vulnerable, well... I can't help but feel like it's a mistake.

I never had much loyalty to the gay agenda anyway, but it feels like we were used just to take out Rhys? Which is dumb but whatever. If you were going to use us for one vote why make it Rhys?

In any case, I once again need to adapt myself to the new battle lines. I tried to reconcile things with Bryce and I think it went alright? I told him I've been on his ass since F10 and he didn't seem too pissed about it. I know Zach was mad at me though, so I offered him a trip to Final Tribal in exchange for mending the fence. He didn't say yes right away so there's still a chance of him declining, but I feel like I'm making a better offer than Betty White and Loris. I think this will work, tbh, and I do plan on staying loyal to it unless it becomes abundantly clear I'll lose to him.

It really sucks to feel like I came close again to an immunity and lost again. The good thing for last time was that I didn't feel like I was in danger and now I am. All people will claim they will do something, though until it's actually done, you never know. So I guess now I've got to put a lot of faith in Zach and Bryce to keep me or maybe I should just use the idol and be a okay, I'm not sure. I think I have to continue maintaining hope, but I don't see my odds looking good and it sucks

________________________________________________________________

I quickly decided I'm gonna go all in. I either play it now and become easy vote for F6 or I save it and somehow surprisingly live this round and increase odds of living in the next. I think if I go home with the idol this time, I won't feel too bad since the chances of me having gone home without it for F6 would've been high. If I do not make it, then you know, I honestly can't really say I "regret" something. I did good in mastermind, and feel a okay for how I did!

im so sad jared gone i cant win im just sitting here waiting for my time to be up like wow this is so fun i love this for me KJFHKADSJ

hi girls I’m so sorry I’m really busy today I promise. I’ll catch up tomorrow if I’m still here. I’m scared. this could be my last confessional. signing off....

AHHHH SO MUCH GOING ON I FORGOT TO DO THIS HEHE. So I won my first individual immunity in celestial go Michael and now the vote is looking crazy as fuck so I’m so fucking lucky to have immunity at this point sksksksksksk. So it’s looking like shits gonna hit the fan but I really want bryce and zach out of this damn game like are you fucking serious guys like you wanted them out they’re clearly bigger threats get your act together. So I’m questioning my path to the end yet again but do you know what? I’m hopeful everyone loves an underdog and I just need to do the best I can to get to that final 3 (or at least the final 4 so people do a jury roundtable about me hehe)

It's certainly been a day here on Celestial. Pretty soon we're heading to yet another tribal council. The plans as I know them are as follows:

The Gay Agenda (Me/Chris/Michael/Chloe/Loris) will be voting for Bryce! Except no. Because I don't really want Bryce to go anymore. At least not tonight. Me and Chris decided we'd rather take a shot at the 3 people who flipped last time to weaken their position a little bit. No.

Tonight, I'll be voting for Loris, hopefully, with Zach and Bryce. I know from Chris and Jared that he doesn't particularly trust me and has considered voting me out in the past. He's also well positioned to make it to the end at the rate things are going so if I can just end that possibility tonight, it'd be real nice.

ok so like this vote i just wanted to vote out stephen i leaked everything from chris/stephen to everyone else in hopes they'll vote stephen. i know they were targeting bryce prior but UGH. bryce is gonna do loris i think to secure 3 votes on him. i feel like this will backfire.

but like im here to have fun and play my game. i want stephen out, then boom. imma try. if they still vote bryce, then so be it. imagien if it ties 3-3-1 (bryce/loris/stephen HASGLDSKGDSGDS).

idk.

I FEEL SO BAD BUT WHO CARES IM HAVING FUN THIS IS A PARTY

theres not much to say. if i survive, im going hard for f6 just to ensure myself f4.

but my plan is sorta this. vote stephen out now. bryce leaves 6th (or michael) michael/bryce fifth n then unless chris wins f4, i probs make f3 with chloe/loris, which has been my ideal f3 for a few rounds now.

if bryce leaves this round, thats perfectly fine bc then one of stephen or smsth leaves next round. i wanted michael out this round but he immune so who cares.

High risk, high payoff move

________________________________________________________________

So much cracked shit has gone down today. Obviously Chris and Stephen might be feeling a little nervy after the Jared vote which is understandable. However they did not need to go and make an alliance called crystal clear and approach Bryce and Zach about targeting me and Loris considering Michael is immune. Sis I almost flipped my ass right back on Stephen and Chris and almost be voting Stephen tonight despite knowing Bryce is a big ass threat. If they had of just kept their mouth silent then both of them would’ve definitely been in final 6 but nooo they had to go do some crazy shit that made Loris massively fucking paranoid. Stephen I stg if u don’t vote Bryce tonight and if he doesn’t go home then I will fucking haunt ur ass.

________________________________________________________________

ME AND MICHAEL ARE NOT A FUCKING DUO

________________________________________________________________

I adore Michael with my whole whole whole entire heart he’s one of my favourite allies I’ve ever had and I trust him with my fucking life. There’s not many people I trust in orgs to make an F2 with nvm make an F2 with and then honour that. But with Michael I cannot see myself betraying him.

________________________________________________________________

Idk who to vote for this revote. I’m tired.

In an attempt to get my vote to stay, Loris threatened to give a legacy advantage to Bryce if we kept him in. Since Michael knows about this, it's going to be difficult to get any votes put on him at all this round, but I might still be able to turn this situation around.

The truth is, I kinda wanted to get Zach out before Bryce anyway. He's every bit as threatening as Bryce in challenges, and has admitted to trying to get me out at this last tribal council. I did try to re-build the strategic relationship with Zach by voting Loris out, but it looks like I have to take another path. I just hope Michael and Chloe don't side with Zach since they also know about the legacy advantage.

How I approach this vote is really going to come down to immunity. If Bryce or Zach wins, I may have to just bite the bullet and vote Michael this round, since with immunity and the legacy advantage they'll be invincible. However, if one of the other 4 players can pull it off, I think I can avoid this scenario. I think if that happens we'd just split the vote one more time between Zach and Bryce and vote out whoever isn't saved by the advantage.

And hey, if Chris needs to use the idol? Fine by me at this point. Saving it for F5 is a cute idea but it may not be practical at that point. This is the much more worrying vote in my opinion, since, if Bryce does have the legacy advantage, he can't get voted out here anyway, and will continue to be a target at F5 and F4.

________________________________________________________________

Loris is voted out 3-3-1, 3-2. He becomes the sixth member of our jury.

Watch Loris’ exit interview take place below:

[illjustblamemypasttrauma]

Hi :)

Its been a while! Life has been fine. Feeling a little better overall, less depressed but also started a new assignment for therapy. I got into TWU for counseling! Kinda stressed cuz gotta figure out everything else now :/ BUT I feel good about having something to look forward to but also feel anxious about ... yikes. I’ve got lots of plans for this weekend (which I’m only mildly anxious about). Going out with my coworker and his friend tonight... gotta be social... but tomorrow I have therapy and then my friend is coming up from austin and we’re gonna go to 6 Flags! <3. Yeah kinda anxious about tonight just cuz like I’m not very social due to like me fearing social situations. Like it just plays to all my insecurities: fear of being weird/different, fear of doing something and looking stupid, fear of people not liking me, etc. I mean I’ve gone out before and tried to be social so it isn’t something completely new, I’m just stressed cuz last time I went out with my coworker we kinda hooked up? not really just basic shit aka me being horny and him being someone I feel comfortable with. I WONT GO INTO DETAILS because I’m kinda embarrassed? anyways I’m stressed also cuz like last time we went it was DEAD and he tried to make me talk to people and like I haven’t had to talk to new people in a long time like I just don’t do it ever. And I said something about that and my coworkers gave me shit about how I need to be more sociable cuz it only gets worse or whatever so I’m just not excited for that aspect of tonight. It’ll be fun tho, I’ll meet his friend, drink free alchy from him and get to chill after a long week.

FOR THERAPY:

How I feel about Crohn’s... I just am Annoyed about it. Like as if my upbringing wasn’t shitty enough I have to worry about taking a shit or being constipated all day everyday. I would worry about people noticing how long I was in the bathroom, worry if I missed something if I went during class (which was almost always), worry if people would hear me shitting in the bathroom (cuz they normally aren’t Good Shits). It was so frustrating just existing and knowing there’s something medically wrong with you and the doctor just doesn’t know what it is. Then they claim its something and give you meds and they don’t actually help. All this while I’m shy/introverted and keeping my mouth shut about my body because I fear it. I fear my mind and body cuz I’m gay and believe without a doubt that its a sin. I’m afraid to talk to people about anything cuz they’ll figure out I’m gay. Just like all the friends that I made growing up. The group of girls (outside church) who would be like “are you gay?” just because I liked to hang out with them (granted I was pretty effeminate). Like even to this day I am afraid to say certain things, have people judge me, based on who I am, what I like. I think the most potent feeling was frustration. I just was frustrated that I was suffering and no one could help and I didn’t know what to do. I was frustrated cuz it sucked and I wanted to just be normal.

I’m supposed to review stories from my high school years but to be honest I don’t remember a lot. I blocked most of it out (cuz I don’t wanna remember how shitty I felt during some of it.) I do remember I think my junior or senior year of high school we went on a church boys camp kinda thing to Galveston and I remember us stopping at a gas station, actually I remember suffering through like 30-an hour before hand where I would just focus on deep breathing exercises (before I even knew what they were) to help lower my anxiety which kinda helped my need to shit, but anyway we finally stop and I just go and EXPLODE in the toilet and I’m taking forever but like my stomach still hurts and I would always feel like theres more to come and like god I was so embarrassed when I got back in cuz like its obvious I was taking a giant shit. I had a similar experience on a different boys camp thing we were about to go rafting or something? and so we had one last stop before going out and like me and this other kid (who later came out as a trans woman, good for her) like took turns taking massive dumps in the stalls. And like I remember just Knowing what was going on with them and like I don’t think I was judgmental but just knowing and realizing that others would know too, and look at me differently too like just made it worse. 

To be honest the worst for me was probably just like living my day to day life being anxious/stressed about my crohn’s and which would cause me to shit more which caused more anxiety (vicious cycle I wrote a paper on) while I was going to college. Like BYU was just a really hard time for me emotionally which lead to my physical health getting fucked. I remember I would like be late to quizzes, miss attendance, have to walk in late in front of the class or even walk out in front of everyone DURING class to go to the bathroom. Like my whole issue about being gay is what I focus on more but god my shit issues were Terrible and my doctor was in fucking Texas... Then I get home for a year and that doesn’t help either. I’m anxious about school still and now I’m driving over 30 to get there so like of course I almost shit myself, have to stop on the way there, and even miss class some days because of it. Finally when I went to UT it got somewhat better just because I had gotten into a routine of like knowing how to arrange my schedule so that I would have time to shit between classes or while at work or whatever. But still I was so anxious about everything... I was a dumb scared gay and didn’t know how to be social without it being forced on me. I wanna say I felt anxious, scared, but also a little ashamed. Like I should be better than this. That it was just something to overcome. That I shouldn’t let it define me. But like... I can’t stop it from existing. I can only lessen its effect on me and I can be more honest with myself and other people and deal with any shit people throw at me, even though most don’t care they’re probs more interested than anything.

While thinking about stories from my Crohn’s I thought about my one time I actually shit myself. I was getting back from downtown with friends (which DT is always hit or miss with me I think like its the anxiety as well as alcohol just gives me the shits sometimes, also friday nights are when I inject so like the very end of the dose to the new dose in the same day (I just tried to google and see how fast injecting works but cant find anything)) But anyway I was getting back with my friend who I met in lab and was visiting from the UK and we had a fun time dt, but then before we started waiting for the bus I could feel it coming on. Anyways the bus ends up taking forever to come and by that point I’m doing my like awkward dance breathing exercises trying to sit just right to alleviate the pain and like I’m so close to just shitting on that bus. BUT we make the 20 mins (at least) bus ride to west campus and we get off right in front of Whataburger and god I speed walked inside with my cheeks CLENCHED and that wasn’t enough. I felt the shit slide through my cheeks as I was like a step away from the door and after that it just wouldn’t stop so I ended up taking off my pants/underwear, and washing my underwear in the sink (luckily they were kinda tight so everything just stayed in the underwear) and like i remember having to smush the shit to smaller pieces in the sink (which probably wasn’t safe for disposal there) and I ended up washing them and putting the underwear back on and being like “hey so I just shit my pants and washed my underwear in the sink, can we leave?” and they were like “oh shit yeah, you good?” and I ended up staying at her subleased apartment and like shitting some more and she was like... you sure you good?? and ugh it was like awkward but like she still loved hanging out with me?? like I make people out to be so scary, and some people are, but like most people are so nice and understanding you just gotta be honest with them about your problems.

Anyway.. Its been a bit of my ranting and ugh TLDR: Crohns just really sucks and honestly I wish I didn’t have to deal with it, but since my gayness was happening at the same time I tended to focus on that issue so my crohn’s was put on the back burner and just never got dealt with.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #4: "I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org" - Brian

So.... BC quit. Don't know why (and I am not gonna enquire, I just know he is hella busy). But ya I don't know what this means going forward but im gonna roll with it. If i'm not flexible, then that is not a good winner. so ya looking forward toi see whatever happens, and if Madigan go to tribal again, all i know is that i will still be safe cause james and I will just get Keaton involved

I’m SHOCKED BC quit because I thought I was going home lmao so now I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen I’m praying we swap tbh so I can meet up with Brian or Bryce who I know sbsbsbs.

Okay I'm super sad BC quit. They seemed like such a sweetheart. And I always hate to see anybody quit. I'm usually kind of annoyed about quitters but I hope BC is all good and it was just because they were busy... :(

This game has been really good to our tribe. We havent gone to tribal. I have a majority alliance of 4. Everyone is active and does 100% on the challenges. Its been good. Havent had much luck in idol hunt tho so probably someone already found it. Still nervous for the challenge. I want to keep winning but the bad thing in the eyes for the other tribe.

The game is always changing... and someone quitting just shows how quickly everything can change in the game. Plans set forward destroyed... alliances ruined just due to what the game might throw at you at any given time. It’s always scary but you know what... sometimes you gotta look at something bad and say hey let’s test my gameplay a little bit... that is what I’m good at and that is what I plan to do!

So we have swapped. and im not with james. This is hateful huh. first bc quitting today and now this. fuck this. and im with marie and keaton as well. ffs. oh well. time to get socialising and do this shit!

I KNEW A SWAP WAS COMING!!! I felt it deep in my bones. Do sharks have bones? I actually don't think they do. Oh well. I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING. Obviously I'm super nervous now because I was in a great spot before. But luckily I still have my #1 Brian. And Charlie who is a part of my Four of a Kind alliance and he has an idol. Plus Anna and I hopefully can work together like we have in other games. I just hope she trusts me. Ugh and I freaking hope we win this challenge. Because OG Dinah members definitely have a target as the last intact tribe. SO much is going on in my little gay brain.

Okay my brain is going a mile a minute with this swap. I'm reconnecting with Anna. She seems excited to see me and she told me she isn't super close with Jayden or Nick so that's amazing. I told Brian about Charlie's idol. So this is good. We're surviving.

omg so we swapped and im so sad nathan isnt here but thats about it. happy to be away from jayden since he IGNORES me. when i read these after the game im gonna seem so obsessed huh KJDFSHFAKSJD. but anyway. dennis is here and hes one of my fave ppl ever! hes just so nice. we shared idol guesses and i really wanna go to the end with him. matt is pretty cool and we both stan the good place and naomi smalls so i feel like we'll be good allies. marie is a queen and super nice but maybe not super active but we both love ari so yay. naptime maynor isnt really liking my humor JKASDHF but thats ok. and kirby guy is alright too!! nicole seems nice enough if not a little standoffish but hoping for the best :s love this tribe overrall tho and really hoping to avoid tribal

I got ZType for the duels! Blessed. I can do well in this game and I can't be the reason our tribe loses in the RARE chance we do. So i'm feeling okay.

Too annoyed to write too much right now. But yet another org, and yet another swap fuck! Honestly, this is ridiculous. We have three members on either 7 person tribe, and even if we do manage to succeed in surviving another non-dinah is going to replace the voted out member... you can't make this shit up.

I knew the swap was coming. But im with Dennis which is good. He has some connections with Bryce and Nicole so hopefully they work with us. Keaton is also here like oh Boi. 👀 going to see if he wants to work with me this time. Having him around could help me in this game.

James quits by leaving the server and ignoring everyone.

https://gph.is/1neigCU my mood at my initial alliance members both qutiing time to die?

Ok so Klick quit which is kinda upsetting cuz I was grinding tf outta that challenge and I lowkey played a game with him about a year and a half ago and kinda wanted to reconnect. BUT Nathan is now on the tribe which is like the nest possible scenario. Also we have Anna so hopefully we have an easy majority. Also I assume Dennis has began running the game over on the other tribe because he is great and will probably end up voting me out at f9 or something. But YAY F14 IM NOT OUT YET ANSNSKDKLZLXKC

MY IMPACT?  I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org to save Charlie from doing Multitask and then James had a fit because he got it and was sleeping so he couldn't pick... I... can't believe how I'm WINNING this game?  Anna, I hope you get my winner's crown READY because I'm doing the damn thing!  I am sorry I made him quit because I didn't think he would kjHDAJK... but wow...

Although I am in the minority right now based on tribal lines, Nathan is someone I've wanted to work with for like eons, and I feel so much more comfortable with him on my tribe than James and letting Annabelle hold my fate in her hands.  I think I have an upward battle, but I know Charlie has the idol and will warn Sharky in the case I need Charlie to use it on himself.  The two from my OG tribe I got stuck with is by far the only two from Dinah that I would go out of my way to protect in this game and knowing Charlie has the idol... ugh... I don't even have to DO anything and tea gets served to me.  Love Sharky.. love Charlie.. love Nathan... can't wait to thrive in this game now!

So the swap, i thought would have been really bad for us original dinah people but so far it looks like we might pull through. Nicole told by Dennis to me that she is willing to work with us but im a little sketch because she hasnt really responds to me exept like one message and then it stops. Im trying to get info from keaton and see if he wants to work with me. I have to keep an eye on him cuz he’s messy af. 👀 I think we could be a strong tribe so hopefully we win the next immunity. I rather have my no going to tribal streak going. I need to start talking to our new tribe members as well.

well james left so we got nathan i'm not upset about it i love nathan he's my person this game i think and we swapped with sharky on the tribe and i just played with sharky and we're in majority so things are really looking up here for me tbvh i feel like sharky might want to get rid of one of my OG tribe people but we'll see how it goes.

This game is weird man. I was so ready to play 2048, but Kirby Boi #2 was a quitter, so now I'm not playing 2048, both people I trusted QUIT, and Dennis is on my tribe. I am going to lose really soon. But hopefully I can find an in on my tribe and survive.

i just want an advantage. but oh so now 4/5 of my tribe is together and im just here.. love that! not sarcastic!! miss nathan tho! so far clicking with dennis still and naptime. hes a true carly rae jepsen fan i asked his fave and he said sour candy which is like (bad) but not well known so he must actually like her!! nicole left me on read.. love that! sarcastic!! and yaa wooh loving the new tribe that guy who quit bc of multitask kind of a flop but go off now im closer to merge!

This morning finding out that James was removed was suprising. It sucks cuz i was enjoying doing the ztype. I got to 7,100 which i think its good but idk if it actually was. But im ready for this challenge and hopefully we could win in it. Definately dont want to go to tribal.

Okay Nathan is AMAZING. I love him. And I'm totally going to work with him for sure. i'm so glad he didn't flop. And Honestly I'm glad James quit so that I could work with Nathan. This lip sync challenge is going to be silly. I offered to do the editing which honestly is a big undertaking but I like to be in control and It's definitely going to paint a target on my back but if we win it'll be so great.

OMG SO FUN CHALLENGE THAT I HATE WOOH. i love this but i hate it. idk. i REALLY dont want to do a queen song so i pretended to not know who they are NNN but all that caused was my tribemates shading me... and its like... matt says beyonce is just "ok" and i need to listen to real music.??? just say u hate women and go. JK. maybe. but ANYWAYS. love dennis still and naptime is so funny love his pins! nicole left me on read some more so i sent her demi lovatos GET BACK music video and she finally responded with two 5 word msgs and ghosted again so um really loving that! kirby guy also doesnt reply a lot but thats ok totally loving only talking to 4 ppl!

edit: quitters are shitters

Our song is Dont stop me now by queen which is awesome. I just need to find the time to work on it later today or tomorrow morning but have an idea what imma do so thats good. Still talking to keaton but no game talk it. Hopefully soon because im still feeling sketch on this tribe. I dont wanna get voted out pre-merge. *knocks on wood* ✊🌳

Making the video was really fun. Had more fun and felt more comfortable after making the ones before were i wasnt as comfortable. This is one of my fav comps now. Cant wait to see how it turns out.

UM?? I'm CACKLING?? So Sharky showed me the clips he got from Nick and Jayden, and I'm just so confused how straight men get any sort of action when they're as stiff as them?  I mean I guess they're not ugly so that probably helps, but neither of them are good at using a camera... So I'm just SO ...

I have nothing else to talk about other than how fucking STIFF the straight men are in their lip sync videos, so whew... love visibility…

worst comp for me ever like i was fine doing 2048 i could have probably helped with that but like a music video? YIKES that's not my thing at all i didn't know what to do or what to help especially since i'm so not gonna get on camera >.< i hate being useless if we lose like ugh lmfao

Okay so this challenge was...a disaster. I asked everyone to just do the song and then I'd make it look good with editing. That didn't work out. And I had more trouble editing than i thought. I feel like I dropped the ball and I'm not sued to being someone holding my tribe back. I tried to hide our bad lipsyncers. Charlie got sick. And something happened in the rush of uploading it that gave me a weird crop and a couple of cuts that I screwed up but I ran out of time. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.

Okay we lost. This sucks. two of the judges called out the edit/effort specifically so that doesn't feel great. But I'm going to look at this as a positive. Maynor and Dennis stay safe on the other tribe. And Now I can use this to make some real connections and alliances on this tribe. Like Chad Michaels I will rise from the ashes and be the gayest winningest phoenix you have ever seen.

Ok so me Nathan and Nick should really stick with Annabelle. Easy majority makes easy game which makes happy Jayden

So we lost the challenge, but I don't feel too... bad about that.  I mean if I go home, clearly I fucked the fuck up and felt too confident... but I think that I feel... good?

Firstly, thank you to the judges for recognizing my SNAP in the lip sync.  I wasn't sure they were going to do my rap in the challenge, so I'm glad it was in there hehe... Now... going to tribal is a part of the game and the strategy has been lacking up till now, so I'm excited to jump in and finally explore that part of the game.  It'll be a nice start to my resume, following accidentally make James quit LMFAO.

Right now, I think I'm in a solid spot.  Nick said he wouldn't vote for me and I mean.. we haven't talked much, but I expect him to not lie for no reason... and I'm going to make sure to increase our conversation and expand on what HE wants to happen to just have that tea under my belt.  I think Jayden is who I would like gone, and I think I'd be able to gather the votes to get that to happen.  It's not like I have anything against him personally, but I just feel it's hardest to talk to him because him and I are not alike from what I've gathered.  I'm the uber gay and for the uber gay and the Travis Scott fanboy to get along?  Would be shocking.

I like Annabelle and Nathan a lot and I don't think they'd throw votes for me.  I have my little final 2 deal going on with Nathan, but highkey I don't think I'd keep him as my #1 over Marie, if I get to the point where I meet with her, so I have no problem cutting him or Annabelle in the future.  I do think it'd be better to work WITH them, especially for now, and I think they feel similar sentiments, but I don't know for sure!

But now we come to the real people I would like to protect going into this vote, Charlie and Sharky.  I love my OG Dinah babies so much, and I will make sure their names aren't the targets of this vote.  I think Sharky has set himself up well, and since he told me Charlie has the idol, I think we should especially be OK.  I also think Annabelle and Nathan seemingly want to work with us, so .... whew...

ALSO, this is a mid-confessional update, but 2 alliances were formed.  We have the "Tea Party" alliance with Sharky, me, and Nathan (the gays) and then the "Dinah Dudes" alliance with Charlie, Sharky, and me (OG Dinah's) and then I think another sub-alliance with the "Tea Party" and Annabelle is coming to fruition, so kjHDKAS... ya... I think I'm SET.  I can't wait to wreck shit!

So we swapped tribes and here I am with 3 from my original tribe, 3 from the other tribe and Bryce from the third tribe. Bryce and I know each other, and by that I mean I just blindsided him another org... oops! Hopefully he doesn’t come after me but who knows because I literally did not participate in this challenge at all! We still won though so hopefully I’ll get to redeem myself in the next one

My arms are SORE from pulling all my best Freddie Mercury moves out for this lip sync, I am SO tired. But I honestly am so glad i gave my 100% effort because I truly needed to pull through for this tribe and show them I’m not just a sitting duck. (Is that the term? Idk.)

Either way I’m glad we all got to bond through this and here’s to being safe ANOTHER round (I’ve never gone to tribal so wooooo!)

i want an IDOL or sth. but um dennis is so fun love that man. always asks daily to work with me. like idk how many times i have to tell him that he is literally the only person on this tribe to pm me first without me having to (NOT EXAGGERATION). marie and matt? no reply from marie in like 30 hours and matt hasnt been talking to me since i said idk queen. kirby guy? replies with 1 word answers and taste in music offends me NNN. nicole? who. all she does is ignore me and like somtimes she replies and ill reply in the SAME LIKE 10 SECONDS, and she'll just leave me on read JKADSFHAKSJ. comes back like 9 hours later with no reasoning on why she stopped talking and with just a "hi", and thats if im lucky! idk i hope we swap soon or merge. like the whole preswap i was praying for a swap to find some good allies bc all i had was nathan really, and now i just have dennis. maybe by merge ill have a whole 3 allies??? oh wait theres um maynor hes cool i always have to pm him first but hes at least responsive and can hold a conversation! black bear diner goes off and i WILL be eating there the next time in houston

We lost, which was hardly surprising when I saw the other tribe's video lol. So now it's not looking good for us dinahs... but luckily I have the idol up my sleeve hehe. Gonna tell Brian and Sharky so that we can use it to save us…

I was so happy that we won immunity. Stil feeling a little sketch on this tribe. Injust hope that the vote isnt charlie, brian, or sharky. And especially sharky cuz he’s my duo. Now dennis, nicole, and i are the only 3 to not go to tribal yet. Its pretty awesome amd kinda scary.

https://youtu.be/BfzG9xjtCRw

Down with the straights!  I still think Jayden is going, but if Charlie ends up going I'm JUMPING because that means I've been lied to by people that want to claim to be my final 2... I do trust in Jayden going but we shall SEE!

So the tribe lost and I’m a bit nervous because I’ve only heard one name... I would have loved to saved my idol until I needed it but I think it’s very likely my name could be the second one going around... we shall see what happens though.

Ugh okay so I was hoping for a simple easy vote. But as usual there is just a little bit of drama. Nick told Anna/Nathan that he has a legacy advantage to be used at F13/F6 which is trash because that means if we lose next time he'll use that and be safe. But if we vote him out he'll gift it to Jayden and we have the same problem. Plus Charlie is wigging out because he has a bad feeling about the vote, which is totally fair because he isn't talking very much. And Nick told Anna her name got thrown out which is just untrue. This is just kind of messy and not in a cute way.

Jayden is voted out 5-2.

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 4 - "LIKE WTF, WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE SO DEAD!!" - Bryan

Bryan

Well the adil vote went exactly as I thought it would. Easy peasy lemon squeezey. But yknow. Of course right when I’m starting to feel kind of comfortable a double tribal is thrown my way! Like wtf! I just wanted to relax and work as a team and build up that morale. BUT NO! Now I gotta stress over a guaranteed tribal. 

Bryce

Ooh so the vote went according to  plan wish we were more active but hopefully that means that I have a better shot at individual immunity. I guess I'm fine if we keep losing tbh because ppl will just vote the inactives out. Like I was shocked that Jay was in our tribe when I saw him on the hangout LOL I need to form that social bond.

Bryan

Me: sends in completed maze. Me: then notices I missed a word. FUCUCYCUCKXKDKABWJOWKDDB Other than that. I feel like I did ok in the challenge. I don’t really need to win the immunity anyways, so it’s ok. I’m totally safe because there is no way I could be a target. 

Willa

Double tribal sucks tits n asky I'm not doing immunity tho screams Hopefully I stay alive 

Jake

This double tribal got me shook aff, i doubt i'm gonna win immunity, but i should have enough votes to stay if they plan on targeting me again!

Dana

I can't handle another crackedt tribal council. I have work all day tomorrow so this is very yikes. Whatever I'm going to let everyone vote Jake and then i'm going to throw my vote at some random bitch and hope it sticks.

Bryan

When Logan says it’s about to get cracked but the truth is with this tribe that’s impossible becAUSE THE ONLY ONES ACTIVE ARE ME QUIL AND BRYCE! LIKE WTF, WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE SO DEAD!! At least this means that I’m not gonna get voted out because we have a bunch of sheep(both literal and metaphorical) at the slaughter.

**Liana and QuilLynn win immunity**

Nic 

so colin and liana have immunity and im SURE dana/zach/trixie/nicholas wont vote for eachother which leaves me and jake :) i think willa is with them tbh. they can act like theyre not a group.. but like.. okay............. any friends in a game are automatically gonna have some sort of bond. even if it doesnt last forever or if they dont trust eachother 100 percent. either way theyre gonna align for atleast a few rounds and thats the tea. anyone saying "oh well X backstabbed me 2 months ago" and "oh X insulted me once" as reason for the premade not being real... has cold tea. its expired. so if thats my downfall atleast i can say its not cause of me. its cause of them bcuz theyre ugly. unless they turn on eachother then i take this all back

QuilLynn

I won immunity!! Wooooo! So I'm actually fairing a lot better than I thought I would be this season. My tribe seems to like me and they aren't seeming to be worried about any relationships I might have with the villains, which is good! If I had it my way then the heroes wouldn't have to see another tribal, the less villains at merge the better! :p That being said, I am glad to have individual immunity, A) because it's my first individual win in the Atomic series and B) because you can never be too safe, and I'm always paranoid! 

Bryce

Okay so its awk quil wants chips because of his connection with his wife at the villains but i like him so :/ want to not vote him. Apparently christains name came up too which is fine id rather do that. But juts need to make sure koh sai does it too

Trixie

DANA IS TRYING TO MAKE PPL BELIEVE I FUCK THE SIMS. IT'S NOT TRUE. SHE WANTS ATTENTION. I CANT RESPOND IN HOUSE CHAT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO SO I CANT FIGHT HER UGH. I HATE HER. JK but she's a bitch

Later...

The Legend of Logan Part 2 Logan the furby was very handsome, he often had the village girl and boy furbies always trying to win over his affection. Logan had big, brown furby eyes, and a small yellow round beak that was good for eating. His fur pattern was a sleek oak colour that shone beautifully in the summer sun. Dare I say it, he was definitely the cutest furby this side of Furbytopia. The evil witch furby Dana tried to put a curse on Logan for being so damn beautiful because she was jealous of the fact that she was ugly and hideous. Logan ran away and became a warrior, that's why he is on this mission to save Princess Furby END CHAPTER

Kelsey

Oh, the sitch? Oh, but that's what she wanted. *sighs* Coming out of the last elimination, Adil has sashayed away and it's quite sad. I really really REALLY didn't want him to go but, ahem...I didn't exactly help in any way. However, I ended up staying and at this point, I'm done being sappy over it, I'm just frustrated by how much I'm NOT slaying the game by now. If Adil was voted out due to his timezone not aligning with everyone else's, it can't be long before they vote out the girl who usually doesn't show up, right? I do think that this individual immunity twist is inadvertently in my favour because I can't let the tribe down this week if I perform badly. On top of that, Quill came through on her word of making a Koh Sai alliance which...is good, but girl, who are these people? Jeez, I STILL don't feel close to any of them, especially Akito. It's my only alliance and my only shot of staying alive but do I want to sit in this boat forever? No, Guys and Dolls, I do not. This alliance ostracizes Chips and Rob...I'm fine with eliminating Chips since I just don't think we're getting along as much as I need to with the others but AKITO is getting information from him. ...If it came down to it, at this point, I'd rather keep Rob and perhaps eliminate Akito if need be...I get it, Akito's a sweetheart, Akito's one of my friends, I'm a heroine, all that but...I can't be the only one thinking that I need to DO something to make my mark, can I? C'mon empty audience, work with me. ...Think yew. The more I think about it, the less I feel like being nice this time around. I've got my work cut out for me if I want to be The Queen, especially after my rough start so...I think my next game move is hitting up Quill and Bryce as much as I can so I can just get ready for what I need to do. The name of Kelsey Valentana Mikaelson is still in high morale standing but I WANT to sully it this time around, you know? And this season, I might just be the fox in the hen hound. I've got an ache to do something significant in Survivor for once. No names have been suggested to me so far and I don't feel in danger, so because of that; Akito, Sailor Lava, my dear...I hope you're ready to meet one FOXY lady. And THAT'S all there is to it~! ...I miss Jordan and Jackson... -Kelsey V Mikaelson <3 #TeamBees #TeamIBelieveInYall

Zach

I'm voting Jake. Willa is too. Trixie/Dana aren't. They're voting Nic. I don't know who Nic/Colin/Nicholas are voting. Tonight's going to be am ess and i' mgoing to fucking leave i'm so mad

Bryce

Christian wants an alliance with me and bryan but like I already am voting them KSHDHFKSDHFKS. Also now bryan wants akito gone but I dont want that at all

Akito

This is hectic I want to find an advantage that will benefit my game and only mine. Screw Koh Sai. Screw the heroes. There can only be 1 hero and that should be me!

QuilLynn

So right now I want Chips out, as much as I like him, I feel like he is going to be a the biggest threat for me down the road and also think he’s the person who probably trusts me the least. The problem is, nobody else wants to vote chips. Most seem to want to vote out Christian and then Christian and Bryan want to vote out Akito. There is no way I’m voting out akito so i’m just trying to ignore their messages but part of me does want to bring up the idea of voting chips to them.

Bryan

Me earlier: welp this is gonna be an easy vote. Just get rid of Christian and everyone is on board cool. Me later: welp Christian wants to make an alliance with me and Bryce. Hey I’d be down iF THE VOTES WERENT ALREADY GOING TO CHRISTIAN!! Me now: ok I think I can flip these votes to akito with getting suspicion. Bryce is on board. Christian will be too. I’ll tell quil that Christian finally messaged me so I’d feel bad voting them out when akito still hasn’t. NOW I GET TO GAIN AN ALLY WITHOUT LOSING ANY!!

Jay

Hiiii so i almost won immunity but quillynn beat me, which is okay I love Quillynn she's my closest ally. Her along with akito and chips are like the only people I talk to. Anyways I'm voting Christian because we dont get along bye bye

Christian

So the original plan was to have a three person alliance with Quil and Kelsey, but Kelsey is kind of inactive and only pops up once every two days. So lol. I decided Bryce and Bryan, because I genuinely do like the two of them! I think it could go somewhere(our alliance). I guess we'll see after tonight. 

Nicholas

i sure diddly darn do hope trixie/zach/dana stay loyal 2 meh

Chips

I don't have much to add, unfortunately. Last round's tribal council went as well as I had assumed it would go with one person self-voting, a vote against me, and the rest for Adil who ended up leaving. I assume that the others lied to Adil in saying they were voting for me which kind of scares me that they were okay with just throwing my name around but also doesn't scare me because they did it with no intention of following through. I think, if I heard Logan right (I probably didn't) that when Adil did vote for me that he said something about how he hoped I didn't play an idol? I... dunno for sure, but that's interesting since I feel at this point that it's impossible to even have an idol since finding one takes a million steps or getting lucky like whoever that person is who has immunity this round. Anyway, I decided to look for an idol because that's what you do ??? and I found a walking stick. I'm really proud of my walking stick and have chosen to put on a Gandalf costume to go along with it. I shall speak friend and enter. Also, fly you fools and um... other Gandalf quotes. http://img52.laughinggif.com/pic/HTTP2ZvcmV2ZXJ5b3VuZ2FkdWx0LmNvbS9fdXBsb2Fkcy9pbWFnZXMyL2xvdHJfZ2FuZGFsZi5naWYlog.gif So the immunity challenge was doing a crossword and I feel I did abysmally. Because you know - ICONS ONLY or whatever the cool kids are saying these days. I felt good about myself for finding all of the names (except Logan) pretty quickly but then it took me a good two minutes to find Logan. Also, the file took like a full minute to download on top of it! I'm awful! So yeah... I lost and QuilLynn won which means that I'm not immune. So the weird thing about my tribe is that most of the players go through cycles where they're inactive. One day it'll be Christian... one day it'll be Kelsey... the next day it'll be Akito. It's just kind of a thing. And so right as results are posted Jay tells me that he thinks we should vote Christian because the two disagree. Bryce and Bryan say the same thing, but say that it's because of inactivity. QuilLynn says that she has already heard the name and that she's cool with it because she agreed with the statements that were made to her... so that's who I'm voting until- https://media.giphy.com/media/6BrfyBtKtCcpy/giphy.gif Bryan messages me and says "Yo chipssssssss"or something to that effect with the S all drawn out. He says that he doesn't want to vote Christian anymore and that he is hoping to flip the vote to Akito. He says that Christian is not as inactive because she said hi to him today and Akito has ignored him. I ask him if he thinks we'll have the numbers and he says that he is pretty sure that we will. I'm cool with it - this early on I'm cool with the vote if it's not me and not someone I can see myself working with in the longterm. So yeah, if everyone is telling the truth I think Akito will be the next to go from our tribe and I should have made another round. I'm sort of hoping for a swap of some sort after this round. Maybe something where we go onto three tribes or four tribes would be cool? I mean, I know small tribes are quite a bit more scary, but it'd make for an interesting change. If not, I'm hoping that we at least get a normal immunity challenge so that we can stop going to tribal council. I don't mind going if it's merge, but when it's premerge I get that feeling the next shot is going to be in my head. https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/e/e2/Office-karen-shrug.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150106110113

Liana

I won immunity! Yay me.

Christian

Kelsey "ill be at tribal so I'm just going to wait" lolol. Kelsey told me that earlier a few people were thinking of voting me tonight, and she told me in pm's that I don't need to worry and she's going to vote Akito. If she is, why does she need to wait. If Akito isn't going tonight, then it's me. I won't be shocked. 

[tournesls]

u probably don't want to read this is just me incoherently rambling on about how I hate school and complaining that life (specifically mine) sucks so maybe don't read

i honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this second trimester. we don’t have semesters in my school or quarters bc we’re k-8 and I’m in 8th and fuck. these are gonna be the worst few months ever. after summer it just gets So Bad. summer is my favorite season GOD I miss her. my skin was clear, I was out doing shit, I was hanging out with my friends, I was pretty healthy and now fucking fall/winter comes and SCHOOL and BASKETBALL and everything goes to shit. I’ve played basketball since 4th grade and this is the first year I’ve been so unmotivated to do it. I love the sport, its the people on my team and the people that aren’t on my team that I hate! the only things Im looking forward to in winter are, my bday which the week after next (yay!), winter break LIKE DEADASS I’m on break rn and I’m anticipating my next one lol, and seeing brockhampton in February, and my best friend’s birthday because we’re gonna do something fun. but my grades are kinda slipping and shit’s becoming harder and I’m going to high school next year, and all my teachers are trying to prepare us and its too fast. my school is oh so special and we get to choose from 5 different high schools, AND MY TOWN IS SO SMALL IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. the closest one is about a half hour away and it’s like the second to shittiest one (which would’ve been our default school) and the other closest IS the shittiest one and then all the good schools (that I’m going to have to go to thanks mum) are at least 40 mins away AND THATS EVERY MORNING AND AFTERNOON FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. and its just so scary. like we’re not even 3 whole months into the school year and next week people are visiting the shitty high schools (not me) to see what a day’s like there and if they want to go there and we have to choose a high school by the end of January and none of them feel right for me and I hate my teachers and I hate this program because its hard for a 14 year old to choose things and I wish we could all just go to this shitty school like every one else has FOREVER this just happened to start a few years before now and UGONGLKSNFKLAHNL. like my best friend who’s visiting the shittiest school next week (bc her brother goes there and her mom is practically making her go) got this question list and it said shit like “what do you want to do in your life/future” ass shit like WHAT? WE ARE 13 AND 14 YEAR OLDS WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW. MY MOTHER DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO SHES 34 WHAT THE FUCK. I hate this, I hate adults, I hate that they had the decision to let us make our own decision. I hate that I’m so stupid and this is literally nothing IM SO LUCKY. I HATE NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER AND JANUARY AND FEBRUARY and I don’t really like march or April BUT I LOVE MAY AND JUNE AND JULY AND AUGUST and September and October are ok. I’m gonna post this under a read more because I’m so annoying and this is pointless and I deadass want to kill myself because I wouldn’t have to go through all this shit and my sister got taken away from my dad and the last time I saw her was a moth ago and I miss her so much and her moms a driggie my dads a SHITHEAD and I love my mom and i wish my dad loved me and fuck I’m so annoying like tonight? I WAS SO ANNOYING I was hanging out with my best friend and we just went to Walmart and tj maxx with her mum and I was just annoying and I love them so much they’re like my second family. and theres this kid in my class who has the stupidest name but he’s really nice and nerdy and called me LITTLE BEAR which is an inside joke but everyone thought he as creepy up until 7th grade when my friend got a crush on him. everyone called her weird and he said no to her when my friends asked him out for her and it was sad. now I think he’s kinda cute, my best friend thinks he’s cute and we talk about him a lot and he GOT SO TALL over summer vacation and he’s so weird but I got to know him over last weekend because me him and these 3 girls from my class are in this adventuring group thing with kids from another school and he never talks to us in class but me and two of the girls talked to him a lot and we went bowling and he was so nice and funny and I talk to him in school and I told him to watch stranger things. my best friend read our texts WHICH WAS JUST US TALKING ABOUT TV out loud to her mum and they said he liked me and that was weird because no one likes me and he likes this other girl I know and I’m literally so ugly and fat and gross but I’m trying to learn to love myself more and its been working out quite well. social media has actually been helping a bit (weird right?) but idk how I’m gonna get through school. if I cant get through fucking 8th grade then how am I gonna get through high school? life in general? idk what I want to do? I honestly can’t imagine myself outside of the school ive been going to for the past 7 years. I can’t imagine myself getting past the age of 14. I’m 13. I can’t imagine myself in college and I just recently went on a college campus for the first time and I loved it! but it was so weird, so scary. this 8th grade year is so different because there are so many traditions that get thrown at you because this is the last year you’ll be going to this school in this incredibly small town. theres going to spend a whole week in the woods with your class with no phones, theres fundraising for the class trip WHICH IS GONNA BE IN A FRENCH SPEAKING COUNTRY AND IVE BEEN TAKING FRENCH FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS AND I DONT KNOW SHIT (its in Canada) and theres so much community service and traveling and in band we have to perform for older people and I wish I could write this much for the essay I have due last week. the essay is about something I like and something that motivates me (lgbtq rights in schools and how to stop people bullying lgbtq students) I still can’t write it I just hate school and everything about it. I don’t want to go to basketball practice tomorrow but I have to and if it was just a practice id be fine but we’re scrimmaging and ugh I fucking hate my school SO MUCH and have I said how much I hate myself? because its a fucking lot. time goes by so quick and I just want to go to sleep but then everything will be wasted and everything sucks and Im sososoosososooooo tired and I’m so overdramatic and fucking immature and dumb and I think yes I am gonna post this maybe privately though just so I can read it after this winter and oh that reminds me of Kieveee when we had to write letters to ourselves that we’ll get before we graduate stg. I’m not ready for graduation I know ill cry . ill cry so much because when say I FUCKING HATE THIS SCHOOL I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT I actually mean I love this school its my safe place all my friends are here my classmates, though some are annoying, I love all of you and god I’m not ready to be a “big kid” and I wish I was a little kid again and I love u mr. m and mrs.s  and fuck Idont want to leave

ok goodnight school sucks and my life revolves around it

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 6 - “I  REALLY THOUGHT I WAS THE SHITTIEST CHARACTER ACTOR IN THIS BITCH” - MELISSA

Ps. Lucy I'm sorry for my last few confessionals you were true and honest <3 I'm coming for you next chance I get though <3

Okay so I'm back with ALL of Candor. Was this on purpose? Do I know? I bet the hosts are cackling. I think we're probably going to be targeted - I'm not going to tell people about my alliance with Ed and Peter, but I think a good F3 with us three is a good idea?

Ok Lake never responded to me Ugly ass Current mood

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????? SDL;KLJHDFHLKS;JFSKFDLGKDSJG ;SDK????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????// LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ive gotten votes @ every tribal ive gone too still I hate this game?

4 Candor. 1 Abnegation. 1 Amity. 1 Dauntless. THIS BLATANT TARGET ON THE CANDOR i CAN'T

I love the strat for this challenge because it's basically never attack because nothing good comes of it

Omg so much has happened.

No one was telling me the vote so I voted Otto but the vote ended up being Riley.

The twist was Riley was voted on to the other tribe and got to bring 2 people with them and they brought me and Kyle. I was very confused.

I also found out Jill was lying to me about the dauntless idol because I asked for it on the new tribe and was told it was gone.

I literally have no words. I did what I wanted to do and it completely screwed me over and now :) I have new people in my camp! Three of them. Literally nothing changed this week, except now Ed hates me and I'm pretty sure Payton is going right back to his side again. It fucking sucks.

It's like... I won my first immunity EVER. And like that, it's gone. A simple miscalculation, but I stayed upbeat and positive about it. So then I tried to work on flipping the vote the way I wanted without immunity, and I made it happen. I built the house of cards, and just when it reaches the ceiling, everything comes tumbling right back down in front of me because the biggest move I could've made ultimately was done in vain. We could have fucking voted off Lucy and lost nothing of value because she was bound to flip anyways. I could have just kept the idol a secret and done nothing about it and worked hard at keeping my mouth shut, but I didn't. I wish I had been blindsided instead and actually left the game because this sucks right now. I guess I'm just being a sore loser though.

So now, I have to rebuild everything. I gave up the stupid spanish name shit I was doing because it's not like anyone attempted to remember the names. I also need to start working really hard on being able to string the Seis tribe members together again because we absolutely cannot flip on each other right now. I like them all and I know that since I was completely behind the entire vote last round, I'm the next to go, and that's really fucking scary. I don't have that idol's protection anymore, and I literally deserved this. Fuck my life.

I'm not going to give up completely yet, but yeah I'm pretty much on low battery right now because this could not have been the worst situation to ever happen to me. So much for that _legendary_ idol play.

I miss my old tribe. Tell Ed I miss him btw

Messiness. I know Dani and Geo see Ed as a threat, but Ed made a BRILLIANT decision in bringing Peter over - he said we're outcasts, so we get a fresh start. I'm so happy he didn't go home, even though this makes us targets now.

????? KSVSKSHDJD IM FLIPPING!

battle royale! idr the stupid strategy um???? also me vs lake lmfao i don't wanna tell my tribe to do that (idk if theyve figured it out or not i haven't gone into that skype) *i don't wanna tell them to do that bc that might reveal that i'm me

I am so shook at how much Payton is just being Logan, like I really thought I was the shittiest character actor in this bitch. But like they're posting pictures of themself in the damn tribe chat, talking about Survivor Congo like it's super relevant to the community at large, I'm laughing. When the first tribe swap happened and Eliza and Jill were talking about someone who created a pregnant character, I was like WOW SUCH DEDICATION but now no. It's just Logan. Being Logan. I love them so much jgkglhsg

Dear Tumblr Survivor gods,

Please let Lucy rally with OldFour on NuSeis tribe to vote Dani and Geo out so I don't have to. Amen.

-Payton

Okay so, we had to do this individual immunity ranking our tribe mates on who we wanted to win the challenge. That's a super tricky one to win, because the more people who pick you, the more likeable you are, and in this game, likeability is a threat. I was voted out of Agrabah because I was too likeable. Well looky here, guess who wins this challenge. I mean, mark it down as my first individual win this season? But honestly, does it count if nobody is actually voted out? Fast forward to me, Melissa, Kyle and Jill trying to get Riley out for various reason. The vote is 4-3 between Riley and Otto with Riley getting the boot... or does she? Turns out this was just a clever tribe swap. Riley went to Six and took Kyle, one of my closest allies, and Lake, who was willing to give me the Abnegation idol, if that's how it worked. We get Ed, Payton, and Peter added to Four. UGH. Okay so ALL of Candor is back together, and not only that, we are the last faction intact. HELLO MERGE! COME SLAUGHTER US. I'm also not too happy about having Payton back bc I'm too certain it's Jaiden, and Jaiden is a dangerous player. Payton told me and Jill separately that they knew where all the votes were going and blah blah and I'm like, you gotta go. I shared this info with Melissa who agrees. I really like Ed. He reminds me of Drew and I love talking to him. Ed ain't going anywhere. I'm very weary of having Payton here and I want her out asap. I talked to Melissa and we agree to just keep talking to them and making everyone seem comfortable. Melissa knows I'm not interested in a Candor alliance. Jill on the other hand, I don't know what she wants. We are close enough that we share idol clues and I know that she has the Dauntless idol, but I don't know, she seems like she may want a Candor alliance, and I really don't. That's also a tricky line to balance on. I'm in an alliance with both Melissa and Jill, but each of them thinks they are my #1 (at least that's what it seems like). I talk to them more in pm's than I do in the alliance chat, and neither of them knows that I'm working with the other to find the Erudite clue. I'm really hoping I don't get caught or have to choose one over the other yet. Ahh this confessional is super long, but we are working on a selfie scavenger hunt which is always fun, and I'm still trying to find this damn Erudite idol so SHOUT OUT to Jenna!! Til next time (heart)

[7:51:31 PM] jaiden (arctic circle host): I'm honestly in such a bad mood and I want to bitch about it but I cant because I want to talk about how frickin emo I am over last tribal council and losing reward and losing my immunity and everything [7:51:59 PM] jaiden (arctic circle host): like its been a really shitty few days on top of all of that and I want to talk to ppl about it but they wouldn't understand giuefsoda [7:52:15 PM] Jenna: <3 that sucks

I'm self-evicting.

HOLY SHIT WE DID THAT. IMMUNITY #6 151-76. Anywayyyyy. I'm glad, because literally half of our tribe did... um. NOTHING!? I would love to make an alliance with Melissa right now. She seems like she's got her head on... We'll see. I'm so happy to have Ed though, you don't understand, and I trust him 100%. We'll see if I'm willing to take Peter to the end? I know I could beat him, but holy hell that'd be an easy win and a hell of a job to take to the end. I know Ed and I can do it, if one of us could find an idol. I can't wait. I'm going to win this.

We lost immunity because my tribe sucks.

So I went to the original Six tribe people and said I'm fine voting off Riley because they're inactive. But Daniella wants to make a move and take out Lucy or Percy which I'm totally fine with.

But then she starts talking about the sesoson I'm (trevor) hosting and said.  "trevor scares me though like he just seems so strict and i want to run away from him every single day. but the cast is good and i cant believe ting ting is winning the whole thing??" And then "i asked trevor a question once and he ignored me and i was really scared but we have a ton of mutual friends and they all say the same thing"

Yikes!! I wanna know who this is I don't ignore people.  I guess people see me as mean.

Anyway I'm gonna try and get Lucy out.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I think I'm very likely to be blindsided tomorrow because I feel oddly tranquil about everything going down. Lake and I are talking and we were originally insistent on voting out Riley, but then I tried to suggest that I'd rather vote off an old Six instead of Riley so they at least have their numbers going forward. Percy is the prime candidate to get voted out now, with Lucy following right behind him, because Percy is a super huge social threat in my opinion. He's been super under the radar and he hasn't had to pick a side quite yet, which is usually what indicates that he's comfortable, too.

Percy has gotten zero blood on his hands so far, while Lucy, Geo, and myself have all been caught dabbling in that big move last tribal council. Peter might be brought in by Payton and Ed, and they'll expose me for all of the dirt that I had to dig up on Peter himself just to make sure he got all the votes and I could accurately play that idol last round. I'm going into the next battle completely empty-handed because I'm sure the Abnegation idol was swooped right back up again by someone else, and now I've got nothing left as a shield if I feel the necessity to save myself.

I like him as a person and all, but he needs to go. This vote needs to happen as carefully as possible if it's going to work out, because Percy is a very strong competitor and I think he has enough ties to save himself if the vote happens to swing in his direction. While making this move, I want to finally pull together Kyle, Lake, myself, Geo, and Lucy and form some sort of alliance going forward. Although we're sparing Riley, they haven't been super reliable and I think it's best if they just get medevaced next round or something.

One thing that worries me is that I'm seriously over-playing at this point, but it feels really necessary to do that because literally no one else is talking right now. They're all kind of like, easy to manipulate their votes I guess. It's not hard for me to persuade them to do something other than Riley, but maybe they just want to keep their numbers up going forward.

An idea I have is to just let them think that voting off Percy is their idea, not mine, while still planting the seed (and also watering it) in their mind that he needs to be the one to go. I want them to feel responsible for it instead of think it was a group effort. They just made a chat together and now we have the opportunity to discuss. If I spill tea that Percy has a ton of connections, then maybe they'll go after Percy. But I also need to make it seem like I would prefer Geo or Lucy as well, because they're both dead weight when it comes to making alliances later on, which is also true.

Kyle, Lake, and I need to stick together and I wanna continue to foster this trio we've got going on because I'll take whatever I can get. I need to figure out what Percy is thinking too, but also manage to convince them to turn on Geo or Lucy as well so they're not voting my way or Riley's way with an idol, which would totally suck ass.

This really was a best-case scenario for me.

A comp like a scavenger hunt is my bread and butter. Clearly, others on my tribe share the same affinity for them. We CRUSHED. MVP efforts all around! (Except Peter, Otto and Jill [did Jill end up doing anything?] Whatever. A parenthetical in a parenthetical is weird.)

Anyway, this is exactly what I needed. A chance to avoid tribal council, a chance to get in my tribe's good graces, and a chance to further bond with the tribe to try and stop it from sticking to tribal lines.

Oh, and another chance to find that idol. Which is being super frustrating. I'd expect the new clue to refer to the /ahs on the main blog, but putting that as a page on any of the subsequent blogs is giving me jack shit. It's frustrating because the new clue I got clearly points to that very first clue, and there's no real place to go to try that stuff.

"Perhaps this is the start you needed all along." This has to mean something, right? I've gotten two clues on this one blog since getting its password:

Clue 4: you are not looking for a blog page on this blog, but rather a blog page on one of the previous blogs you have been to

Clue 4/1: When considering this clue you may want to look back at the first ever clue you were given. Perhaps this is the start you needed all along

I'd figured out the first one already, so that clue wasn't super helpful. The second... using that in conjunction with this line from the blog:

"You also perhaps might only know the way when you look center from the start. "

...that tells me it's probably something in the middle of the main blog page. But it's not 'survivordivergent'. It's not 'hosts', which would be the center element from the starting clue. It's not 'h', since the first clue was just the starting letters of the words. It's not 'onechoicecantransformyou' which is kinda centered and stands out because of the bold. Not 'iwillbecomesomethingelse' which, since it's the tag for the season, is pretty much always centered. It's not 'confessionals' which... okay now I'm just getting desperate.

I feel like I'm missing something huge and, because of it, the idol's been gone for weeks. My only hope is that we win the reward and our lovely, insanely talented and smart and gorgeous and kind hosts (am I laying it on too thick?) take pity on this dumbass and give me the answer.

I think the plan's changed tonight. Geo came on and found out about the plan to get out Percy and he made quick work with changing the plan around to Kyle or Lake instead. I guess I don't really see the point in that, because Percy is the only person we're certain of not having any blood on his hands with the old Six tribe, and now he's going to be able to rebound into their numbers later on at a merge. Kyle is doing really good at keeping his head down but I guess the price he has to pay is getting his name brought right up to the top, because that's who I convinced Geo to vote for tonight. I don't want to lose Lake this early because I really like that guy, but damn Geo doesn't want to move on Percy quite yet.

I really stress about tonight only because I'm going to have to recover a significant amount regardless of what decision I make. I've made promises to two people now, and I don't want to break either promise. The best I could do is throw my vote to Riley and let Kyle go home, or I could vote for Percy and tie it up.

If Riley self-votes tonight, they're getting medevaced after tribal. Lake will literally be down to himself and have no one else to lean on afterwards. He's going to be on the bottom again.

Kyle is a threat, but so is Percy. They're threats in the exact same way, because they're totally unpredictable. Kyle might just stick around with me if I keep him, and I still feel really uncertain about Percy...

I'm waiting until the very last minute to vote. If Riley comes online and makes a decision, I'll see what I can do with that. But if not, I can't let the vote go to a tie, so I have no other options but to vote off Kyle. Rip me.

Okay so i have a confession to make

after the break i didnt get messages, until daniela was the only one who came to me and told me everything that happened, paytons connections, eds idol, the backstabbery, her idol. whether everything besides her idol is true or not, we'll see afterwards, but shes' become my number two even though earlier i mightve said she might have to leave? we came up with a bunch of schemes and plots until before tribal we decided to use her idol on peter to save him as he gets majority and then use our two votes to get ed out. but  i knew it was going to be an australian swap instead, in the back of my mind ofcourse

my tribe now has lake, kyle and riley instead of ed, payton and peter

i havent been on much recently, mostly because of laziness <.< but dani has caught me up on what happened, originally it was planned to be percy from almost everybody, even dani and lucy, but luckily i was able to put their heads in the right place and convinced them to vote out kyle instead as riley is probably getting medevaced and hes a threat, percy is voting kyle too. thats all if theyre b eing honest to me.

i thought i was going to get votes, but apparently not and im shocked at that since i honestly lowkey did want to, my hearts not that much into the game and i just feel like its going to take my mind away from my studies (and netflix <.<) so so sorry hosts about this and competitors, ofcourse, im not telling people about this and im not quitting, im going to keep chuggin along until the others decide to get rid of me to see how far i can go. i still feel like i could be voted out instead as everyone has been orking to get rid of me all along and lying to me but we'll see,

i dont want to seem like im controlling when ive been here for like anhour but thats whats best for us long term, my plan is to seem like someones subordinate which i think im doing since people know i did what dani told me to do

It's weird going into tribal without chaos, so I kind of feel like I'm getting blindsided tonight. If that's the case, awesome. :| I'm expecting to go home at this point because suddenly everyone is so... relaxed I guess, I don't know. This stinks.

http://prntscr.com/ef8mbo

What did I even do to warrant this i'm yelling WAIT IS THIS FOR "STEALING THAT IMMUNITY FROM HER" I'm gonna punch someone if it is that's so stupid dslkfs