#got screenshot folder for just him in actually insane

[parviocula]

Getting my high nostrils done next month and who would of thought this man inspired me to get all my piercings I have now.

[skunkes]

wears off in a month or so

[wildpeachfarm]

honestly this not only has been the best outcome of this whole mess ie zander realized his mistakes and PUBLICLY apologized and admitted he was wrong (i know the bar is very low but sadly people can’t even do the bare minimum so i suggest we encourage those that do that) but dream now knows >>WHAT<< the behind the scenes rumors are and what evidence he has to counter that (it’s possible he already knew and had evidence in a little folder to contradict it but at least he’ll know if new information has popped up or if it’s the same story and if it’s been twisted more or not)

Yes, the thing with these allegations that always seem to pop up is that they tend to actually involve someone who exists and has actually interacted with Dream in some capacity- but it's just never predatory or weird in the way that it's being portrayed.

So yeah, I imagine if Zander called him up and said "hey ______ said you did this" or whatever, I'd assume Dream would already know who they are and what ACTUALLY happened because he is the type to carry receipts of everything. The only way that this might not be the case is if we have another burner situation like Jamie where someone is going to Zander as a completely uninvolved third party who got a hold of random pics and screenshots out of context and decided to paint them in a terrible light to ruin Dream. We just will probably never know which it was this time.

The "dream(team) rumor mill" just seems to be the world's most insane funhouse mirror that distorts perfectly normal interactions or ones that had absolutely no malice or ill intent and turn them into calculated and predatory actions towards a "victim" when that has literally never been the case once the actual facts start coming out.

[chokkito]

Favorite HSR characters and why!

damn anon you got me....i dont have a fave one...[i say, as if i was a mythus follower] *looks at my sunday folder in pinterest*

anyways gonna use this opportunity to tell you guys about why i love sunday so much and holy shit hes my favorite character of all time

also this will prob reveal a lot of myself because i. censor myself a lot in front of my tumblr moots. so sorry guys...!!!!

First of all, i'll tell you guys a silly little backstory on me and my kinda of obsession with this 2D character who would not have this much grip in me if i was mentally stable.

Everything starts at August/September of last year - honestly i can't remember the exact date, but it started around this time, when the first leaks of Penacony came out and, in the middle of these, we had the concept art for <3 Sunday <3

so traumadumping here but i was in catholic school for like 5 years of my life and i was so fucking bullied in it and the priest in it was also a little bitch so honestly i wouldn't say i have religious trauma but it made me have a thing for religious figures especially when they look sketchy as fuck so when he got leaked and my friends came to me like "hey check this out" because they knew i had a thing for priests i went a little crazy

[i thought heavily if i should put this screenshot here but in the end i decided to come clear] also now that i went to get this screenshot i remember which date i first saw him but anyways SO!!! Even before he got announced in game, i was already like "damn i need him fr" as you can see in the screenshots, but then aight, it was the leaks and i rested in peace

and then, december came and they took my boy out of the basement

AND I WAS LIKE "HOLY SHIT SUNDAY AUGUHGUHUUUGUHHHH" BECAUSE I DIDNT KNEW IF HE WAS GONNA GET RELEASED OR NOT...BUT....HE WAS.....AND I WAS GOING INSANE....

And Penacony released and them. Well. He. Became my fave, as expected

Anyways i WAS gonna write more but its a bit late rn but...i love sunday.....live laugh love HIM, here are a small comp of my weakest moments

actually its gonna be just these 3 i still value a bit of my reputation in here but my friends who are in this server know

[noitscooldw]

sexting m!kylar hcs

hello everyone!! how do you do! im alli! long time fan first time writer (о´∀`о)

i got inspired by @inkyquince 's sexting w kylar hcs and couldn’tttt help but add on my own h0rny ramblings

so without further adieu, this is ifdolhadcellphones!au

warning: adult content! (obv), afab!pc, breeding and impeg mention

sending

alright so i don't think kylar would send nudes very often but when he does oh boy are they good

gets so hard just thinking abt showing you how much he needs you rn

he wants to prove his love for u and show u how crazy u make him

vids consist of him rubbing himself over his boxers, letting his precum stain and make a mess inside

all you can hear is his sweet little whimpers and mumbling, his breath hot and heavy. he gets a lil too close to the mic sometimes and he almost sounds in pain

lifting up the waistband to reveal his throbbing hard cock, standing up at attention so cute and pathetically

“i-i’ve had this all day..” you can hear him whisper, “all day…”

the camera gets so shaky as he starts desperately pulling on his cock, fucking his precum-covered fist, his small hips moving with the momentum

all he needs to think abt is fucking your sweet little pussy and he’s gone, bursting loads of cum into his hand, imagining going inside your womb

just thinking about cumming in you gets him so riled up, most of his fantasies consist of that anyway but that's a rant for another day :p

but yea, most videos usually end with him moaning your name loudly and cumming all over himself, just for you <3

in terms of d!ck pics, his most common poses are him just holding himself, feeling the weight and heat of his arousal. kinda showcasing his length heh heh (big d kylar supremacy)

also loves to send you pics of the hard ons he gets throughout the day thinking of you, you’re on his mind constantly and he can’t help but get excited, needy in fact

you’ll be at work at the cafe or sumn and get sent a pic of him pulling down his sweats, hard cock straining against his underwear, head leaking through the fabric

“i miss you sooooomuch. when are you going to be home??? i need to see you”

normally would not be so comfortable showing their genitals especially online where anything can get hacked but with you he feels no shame

after all, his body is yours anyways :)

cum pics lovesss sending pics of his cum and how much he came for u “it’s a shame this is going to waste hehe”

makes sure he brings himself right to the brink before he takes a pic so he can look extra needy for u

hands and phone are always sticky

waits on the edge of his seat waiting for u to text back

lowkey regretting it when anxiety hits; what if u don’t like it, what if u find him disgusting and call him a pervert, a freak? maybe he shouldn’t be so forward like this…

but as soon as he hears a ping! and see ur name pop up alongside a sexy pic in return, all his worries wash away

you really are made for him

receiving

kylar is so grateful for modern technology just so you're able to send him nudes

screenshots every single pic you’ve ever sent to him, so you already know he has a whole folder of all ur nudies

definitely password protected and encrypted so no one will ever find them, not on his watch. would go actually insane if that happened.

but you can bet every night he lays down in bed, goes through his favorites (all of them) and just goes to town

definitely cums on his screen to your selfies or any pic of you rlly, like those weird cum tributes on reddit 😭😭

like i said, his phone is very icky and sticky

frothing at the mouth when he gets a sexy pic from you, and always says thank you <3

spends about the next hour and a half furiously jerking off to said pic, whether it’s in the park bathroom or at home in his bed

he just can’t believe he has this in his possession…you’re not sending these to anyone else right???? no no of course not hahha why would you..

still, even the thought of you willingly sending these photos…wanting him to see your body, to see you in such a vulnerable, private state….

ok back to the bathroom

tittie pics has him droooling, he can just feeeel how soft they are through the screen, how sweet they’d taste

“BBEAUTIFUL”

“you lookso amazing my darling!!!!!

“so pretty and perfect and alllll mine”

“cant imgaine how theyd look nice and full of milk…..”

“i want th em in my mouth…please....”

pussy pics have his mouth salivating and his dick trying to escape out of his pants

"FFFGFHFJ Mmmlslfkfkfkfkffiuu"

“holyyyyshitttt hhaaha omgggg!!!!”

“all miNe to Breeed all mine onlyy mine!”

“DONOT show this to anyone okay???????”

"iloveyousofuckingmuch"

[postapocalyptic-cryptic]

ok I’m back I did some actual research this time Transformers: Lost Light?

HI AGAIN dlkjfhlkj

(for this ask game!)

favorite character: oh absolutely Drift. idk what it is about him he's just making me insane.

least favorite character: from a "god I hate your guts" perspective it's Getaway but like. I like him because he's well-written and interesting. From characters I didn't really find interesting? I never really got into the Scavengers.

brOTP: Drift and Rodimus the BESTIES. Whenever I write them just assume they’re amica because they are. It doesn’t matter that they never mention it I just know they are in my heart.

OTP: Drift/Ratchet I’m just. I’m squeezing them. So nice to have your OTP be canon.

OT3: shocking from the person whose brOTP is Drift and Rodi and whose OTP is Dratchet but. Drift/Ratchet/Rodimus. Ratchet and his emotional support 2/3rds of the Lost Light command.

NOTP: God I don’t even know. There aren’t any ships from Lost light that really squick me out or make me upset bc I’m a huge multishipper. I guess Getaway/Tailgate, but I mean that was supposed to be horrifying, that was the whole point, so I don’t even know if it counts.

favorite storyline: oh wow so much of it was so good I don’t know how I could choose but I guess it’s the Dratchet storyline. The way their relationship develops so beautifully even though so much of it is in the background. Ough. I have a whole folder of screenshots of them being cute in the background.

least favorite storyline: like I said, I never got super into the Scavengers

what I wish had happened but didn’t: two things. first:I wish there had been an early on Megatron and Starscream encounter. I don’t think a Megatron redemption debate is complete without them interacting. second: I wish Drift and Rodimus had talked more about Drift’s exile. I want to see them working through that.

what happened I wish didn’t: ratchet,,,,

EDIT: I DIDNT POST THIS??? I SAVED IT AS A DRAFT BY ACCIDENT??? I am SO sorry I promise I wasn’t ignoring you oh my god

[puppy-phum]

for the ask game: 4, 8, 12, 21

aliii ♥ thank you so much for this ^^

4. What do you enjoy about making graphics?

tbh i enjoy the whole process - after am done with screenshotting and choosing the images i will use. that part is a pain. but otherwise? i am having so much fun. it is insane how much of a kick i get from something so simple :'D but if i had to choose an exact favorite part out of everything, i think it's either coloring (for edits where colors play a big part, like i.e. the bb seasons one) or the details (for edits where i end up adding stuff that isn't just the pictures, i.e. my danyok edit where i actually liked writing down their dialogue for the ripped paper parts). i also love research which has translated into a lot of symbolism edits lately ^^ (also i have at least three more ideas for things like this bc apparently i love reading about random things online)

8. Your favorite graphic created by yourself

oh boy hmm. i love my latest one bc it was very different from the edits i've been making for bb. my personal fave out of the pics is the one for kryptonite! it was a struggle but looks so nice now. then i also gotta mention this seanwhite edit bc i just grow all soft every time i look at it. it was fun working on the overlays and i think they came out nicely ^^

my absolute favorite edits i've made so far are the sets (1 & 2) i made for dew the movie. i love that movie so, so much, and bc of the emotional connection, these edits are very important to me. i also like how they capture the vibes of the whole movie :')

12. Font(s) you like using

i have a ton! and i try using new fonts all the time. tho i of course have some i always return to. current favorites are:

basic fonts: Quicksand / Josefin Sans / Lemon Milk which all are kind of similar, just simple and clean fonts for basic text

curvy fonts: Adriatne / Crehme Honstlan / Dancing Love / Modena Script / Roses Please / The Scientist which are all big and have long lines that seem to curve nicely around the edits, so to speak. especially Modena Script is one of my go to -fonts if i want the highlighted words to Take Space

brush fonts: Beardies / Castedral / Chasing Embers / Garland / Halcyon / Julya / Mind Rush which i don't use that often anymore but at some point, i was actually obsessed with all these bold brush fonts. now they feel like a bit too much but they still find their way to me sometimes

bold fonts: Al Veshion / Athene / Black Gold / Glimmer of Light / Grozery / NT Josefine which i use A Lot. i have found a new love for this type of bold fonts. they look cool and clean and i can always add effects to them myself (if am not fond of the ligatures)

21. How much time do you spend on a single graphic?

does "single" mean like one image or one sets? i'll take that as one set bc i usually finish the set at once after i start working on it.

but hmm, if i count in the time it takes for me to take screenshots, i'd say maybe 6-8 hours? it depends of course on how long the edit is/how many images the set has, how many details i need to work on, and if my plan for the edit is very detailed or not. for example, my bb sun & moon edit took only a couple of hours bc it's only two images and i had quite clear plans for it (i also had the screenshots ready in my folders haha). then again, the not me seven deadly sins edit actually took 2 days and maybe 10-ish hours (i have not counted really, might be more) plus all the research i did for it during the week. i had plans for it but they kept changing and there were so many details, oh boy. also i failed the white edit once bc i used the wrong colors for him :'D i saved the other version bc i liked how it looked and was kind of sad i had to abandon it, so take it here:

(wrong color bc i somehow got the sloth and gluttony colors mixed up in my head hhh probably bc my initial plan for white was sloth)

thank you once more ^^ this was fun! also a great way to avoid writing my last essay of the semester lol. hopefully this was fun to read too!

ask me graphic maker questions!

[jamaiskookie]

can i request a soft fluffy little drabble of fanboy yoongi and idol reader?

soundcloud rapper meets professional idol- myg

it’s #starrieselcaday !! where everyone posts their selfie in the hopes of their bias replying to them! alternatively, yoongi is a shy fanboy and you’re an idol with an undercover account where you stalk your fans. 

masterlist

listen

min yoongi is not a liar

HOWEVER, if you happen to ask him what kind of music he likes to listen to..... that’s a rare exception. 

he’ll probably reply by rattling off some of his favourite hip-hop rappers etc etc (emInEM!!! KANYE!! THE CLASSICS!!!!! beyonce)

which,, is not entirely a lie, okay?? he DOES listen to those artists! but his greatest guilty pleasure is this ... idolgirlgroup UGH he feels lame just thinking about it. 

not that it’s a pathetic thing, ya know? it’s just that he’s ~min yoongi~ jin literally told him once that he would be re-born as a rock and he AGREES WITH THAT. 

it’s not like he’s ashamed of saying he’s a fan of your group, it’s just that it’s not expected of the stone-cold soundcloud-rapper yoongi. 

but secretly, he winds down by watching your fancams, mass streaming your albums, screaming about your debut anniversary, the list goes on... the day in a stans life never ENDS GOD.

he literally screamed at his laptop and bursted into tears for a good 4 hours your last comeback.

he even got jimin and namjoon to end up liking his ult group!!!

seokjin refuses to ‘lower himself’ to their standards but everyone knows he secretly has all of your albums downloaded 

the group (lomls) called dreamcloud consists of five members- yoona, jisoo, lia, chae, and y/n. the fandom name is called starrie, even though nobody knows how that came about??

(his favourite single is their newest song called cloud 9)

three guesses to who’s his bias gO!!

if you guessed y/n congrats you’re CORRECT. other stans say that the bias they started with is NEVER the bias they have no but you’ve been yoongle’s ult bias since debut and it’ll forever be that way!!!

he’s been bias wrecked approx. 30 times but we don’t talk about that. 

like lia is THIS close to stealing the bias spot but you’ll always have such a special place in his heart :,-)

which is why when he sees the hashtag #starrieselcaday which was trended by you when you tweeted out a selca he POUNCES ON THE CHANCE TO POST A SELCA

on his secret fan account of course.

oh boy he really hopes nobody from uni is going to see this..,,, he’ll deal with it if the time comes. 

he definitely spends 30 minutes with jimin trying to figure out where the best lighting in the dorm is and then an additional 30 minutes just taking the damn picture. 

he ends up taking the photo in his black bucket hat (the e-boy one) with this slightly awkward half smile plastered on his face. 

he kinda hates it but it was also the best shot out of the 2000 he just took so that one it is!! (he’s also pretty tired of jimin telling him to ‘pOSE’)

he just posts it on his twitter with nothing but the #starrieselcaday hashtag. it’s the first time he’s participated in these so he’s kinda ~nervous~ but whaddya know!!

other starries are already hyping him up in his mentions!! [proud tears] gosh he loves this fandom so freaking much. he links jimin’s selca below his, telling his followers to go hype jimin’s picture too. 

it’s slightly concerning how big of a following yoongi has on his stan account. 

#STARRIESELCADAY! ✨@/liabby

replying to @/ynssuga

you look so cute suga!!!! ur bucket hat omg where did you get it send LINKS!!!

dreamcloud D-14!!! 🍬@/starriejoonn

replying to @/ynssuga

so THIS is what you spent an hour doing with jimin. owo looking good my friend! 😎

jade 💜ot5 @/vitaminchae

replying to @/ynssuga

omg you did #starrieselcaday !!! congrats on 50k by the way!! we’re all anticipating your album review (keysmashes) <3

awhhhh

how cute!

see? best fandom. 

honestly he wasn’t even aware that he hit 50 thousand on his stan account what the FRICK that’s insane!!

the only thing he does on this stupid account is give album reviews (which are quite useless at this point it’s always a 10/10) and scream about the comeback stages. 

occasionally he’ll go on to remind his fellow starries to drink water and take breaks from streaming- because contrary to popular belief he can be soft. 

☁️STREAM #CLOUD9 ☁️@/yoonsoohearteu

replying to @/ynssuga

hOOOOOOOTTTT!! woohoo!! why didn’t you tell us you were attractive irl?? 👀 ru single bby? 👉👈

yoongi snorts reading that comment, replying to tell @/yoonsoohearteu that he’s far from attractive and is unfortunately, single. it’s all y/n’s fault, he jokes in his reply. dreamcloud has raised his standards too much. 

y/n ✅@/dreamcloudy/n_official

replying to @/ynssuga

💞💞💞

[blink]

[bliiiink]

[?????????]

wut.

are his eyes deceiving him? WHAT? 

yoongi checks again, and sure enough, the little checkmark verifying your OFFICIAL twitter account lays next to your handle,.,, WHICH IS BELOW HIS POST. 

he takes a deep breath, trying to recall whatever breathing exercise his therapist taught him just last week. 

it doesn’t work. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- “

💤☁️.

“y/n!“ yoona calls from the kitchen. in your large XL hoodie, you step in, humming a ‘hmm?’ to your leader. all the other girls are camped out in their rooms, preparing for the comeback coming soon. 

yoona’s scrolling on her phone with a confused look on her face. 

“why is hashtag starrie-selca-day trending? did you tweet something or was it chae?“ she asks, and you hide a slight smile. 

“oh yeah,“ you reply. “i tweeted my selca this morning. you guys can tweet out yours too.“ 

yoona raises her eyebrow. “okay,” she asks. “just be careful.” you blink. 

“be careful... of?“ 

“make sure the agency doesn’t find out about your secret account you use to stalk the starries.“ you sputter, spitting out a random excuse. 

“you’re too obvious these days, y/n,“ yoona says, not unkindly. “i figured that your comment wasn’t intentional... was it on that guy suga’s page? anyways, your official account didn’t reply to any other fan’s selcas, so maybe you should comment on some other fans twitter accounts too.“ 

huh?

what on earth is she talking about- OH NO. 

you scramble to take your phone out, immediately clicking into your twitter notifications. 

you groan when you see ‘y/nsuga’ is already trending. you should’ve double checked which account you were on before commenting, for god’s sakes!

this is amateur stuff, you scold yourself. how could you forget?

like yoona said, you begin commenting on other selcas, so it doesn’t look like you’re singling just one fan out. 

(except you kind of already did that.)

yoona stifles a laugh. “so,” she says. “we’re not going to talk about how you commented three heart emojis on this guy’s selca on your secret account... right?” 

your cheeks heat up. “please don’t tell the other girls.” you plead. jisoo unnie would never let you live this down. 

it’s not your fault some of your fans are. like, really cute, okay? 

this guy- ‘suga’. well, that’s the name you’ve been calling him in your head- since it’s the alias he goes by on twitter. 

he was one of the first fan accounts opened on twitter- just when you debuted! he posts these detailed and insightful reviews every time you have new music, and he’s always been such a loyal fan!

(plus, it’s super fun seeing him shut down your haters!! he always comes up with the most awesome comebacks)

((your personal favourite is ‘y/n could single handedly step on you with the heel of her five inch stilettos while she continues to do the choreography perfectly. shut your bitchass mouth up’))

so is it a crime to check up on a devoted fan’s twitter page every once in a while... on your secret twitter account??

he still hasn’t replied to your comment, which you’re slightly down about. he’s just busy, you reason with yourself. it’s not like you can expect his world to revolve around you, you scold. 

yoona nonchalantly waves her hand. “i already screenshotted the evidence though, so that’s going in my y/n blackmail folder.” 

you let out a multitude of complaints, noises that mostly consist of various versions of ‘fuck you uwu’ 

at least it was yoona who found out first. she’s the most gentle in the group... even though she has blackmail folders for each of the members. 

you reassure yourself by telling yourself that she’d never actually use the folders for real blackmail purposes.... probably. 

looking down at your phone, you frown. 

cute boy suga still hasn’t replied. 

you don’t know it, but the only reason why is because he’s still screaming. 

“AHHHHLHFH*HDFGLHHHHH?&$5FLIQJARSODFILJQWOI?!!!?!?!!”

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[x-lipstickstain-x]

hey so, i really enjoyed the imagine you wrote and i would like to request one as well, if you want to write it; ive been listening to the song lost in japan by shawn mendes and thought about andi (bc what else do i think about lately, nothing) maybe you can come up with something for that. i know this is really vague, sorry. (also i kinda hate the y/n thing, can you just pick a name, its less awkward to read) okay, thank you so much if you wanna give it a try 💜

It`s only been like 10 years since I got this request lmao. This has actually been done for quite a few days now, I`m just getting really bad at posting. So yeah this is kinda based on the song Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes.  Anyway, enjoy!

Andreas Wellinger Imagine ~ Lost in Japan

I couldn’t wait to see her in Sapporo. My best friend hadbeen working in Japan on her placement year for over six months now and Ihadn’t had an opportunity to see her since then. Ella and I have been friendssince we were kids. We grew up as neighbours and throughout all these years wemanaged to grow such a strong, unbreakable bond. So many times our friendshiphad been put to a test, but no problem matters  when you realise how much you care forsomeone.  

Ella was coming to the competitions in Sapporo, we had itplanned for a few months now, so both of us were extremely excited. Thecompetitions in Russia had just finished for us and until the whole team wouldhead to Japan, it was still quite a few days.

One night, I decided to finally free up the storage on myphone as the constant notifications about it being full, were driving meabsolutely insane. I went straight to my gallery and I deleted a fewscreenshots which I was sure would not longer be needed, but somehow I gotblown into a folder where I kept pictures of all Ella’s and my adventures fromquite a few years back. The smile on my face was present the whole time to thepoint where my cheeks began to hurt and my eyes started tearing up.

My soulmate was thousands of miles away and I couldn’texplain in words how much I missed the sound of her voice live, or how much Iached for her cuddles whenever I felt down. She always knew what I needed andshe tried to give her all to me even from the other side of the world, but asselfish as it sounds, it just wasn’t enough for me. So that’s when I got acrazy idea. I wanted to see her and I wasn’t willing to wait for it any longer.

I clapped my hands, smiling at my laptop screen which confirmedmy flight for tomorrow morning. I would be landing in Tokyo in the evening and Iplanned on making my way straight to the apartment she was staying in. I wasthankful that I sent her some things through the post before, so I knew herexact address. Now, I was only hoping she would be happy to see me earlier thanplanned.

I headed to my coach’s room to inform him about my earlydeparture, when I explained why, Schuster was surprisingly understanding and hetrusted me enough to continue training on my own and then join in with the teamonce they arrive.

After saying a quick goodbye to my teammates, I returned tomy room. There was nothing left for me to do besides packing and booking myselfa hotel in Tokyo, just in case Ella didn’t want me staying with her, which Ihighly doubted, but I’d rather be safe.

That night I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face.Although, it was very difficult for me to fall asleep because of how excited Iwas. I felt like a little kid. I just couldn’t get her off of my mind, nomatter how hard I tried.

The next morning I checked my phone after waking up, justlike I usually do. Seeing the daily ‘good morning Milka’ text on my phonescreen, I smiled. It never failed to put a smile on my face. I typed out aresponse, before setting my phone down and hopping out of bed. I wasn’t amorning person, but today wasn’t just a normal day, so it wasn’t as much of aneffort.

Before I knew it, I was on the plane to Tokyo. Therealisation seemed to hit me all of a sudden and I exhaled a happy sigh. Just afew more hours and I would finally get to see her beautiful smile and hold oneof the most important girls in my life. My head wandered over to thinking abouthow the dark haired girl would react to seeing me. A huge part of me was sureshe would be just as happy as I am, but a small part of me didn’t want to bedisappointed if she wasn’t.

I tilted my head from side to side, trying to crack my achingneck. Let’s just say I didn’t fall asleep in the best position, but that nolonger mattered when my taxi pulled up outside of the building Ella lived in.

I thanked the taxi driver after paying him and I got out ofthe car. I looked up at the tall building, while dragging my suitcase behindme. A million sentences were running through my head that I wanted to say toher as soon as I see her. I glanced around as I stepped into the reception,this place looked much fancier than she explained.

I smiled at the woman behind the reception counter and I justcontinued walking to the lift. I fixed my hair in the mirror, noticing howhappy I already looked just from thinking about Ella. The door opened and Ileft the lift, searching for the right door number.

I stopped walking right in front of Ella’s door. I stared atit for a few seconds before I dared myself to knock. Nothing. My heart sank alittle, why didn’t I think about this. She didn’t have to be at home, I couldbe here waiting for hours. I am such an idiot. I quietly groaned to myselfbefore knocking again.

“Oh crap… One second!” I heard the beautiful voice call outfrom inside the apartment and my heart started beating much faster. Open thegoddamn door Elle, I thought to myself, growing really impatient.

I heard the key turn from the inside and the door was quicklypulled open by my best friend with a towel on her head. She only stuck out herhead, but her jaw fell and her eyes almost popped out when she saw me. All thewords I wanted to say suddenly left my head and I was no longer capable ofspeaking.

The girl rushed over to me, squeals leaving her mouth. Herarms wrapped around my neck so tightly, I was sure she almost pulled a musclein my back. I wasn’t complaining. My arms swiftly wrapped around her waist andI picked her up, holding her as close as possible.

“You can’t just turn up to my door like this Andi!” Ellachocked out, which immediately made me pull back to look at her face. Worryrushed over me as I noticed the tears running down her face. “You don’t knowhow much I missed you. I can’t believe you’re here..” She whispered, snifflingquietly with a huge smile on her face. She pulled me back into a hug and Iclosed my eyes.

I missed this content feeling. “I missed you so much angel,”I whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as I carried her throughthe door. I let her down gently and I went back for my suitcase, closing thedoor behind me. Ella was still staring at me in awe, as if she was worried itwas just her imagination and I would disappear in a second.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, strolling up to me andhugging me once again. It only just came to my attention that she was onlywearing a bathrobe.  

“Interrupting your shower, apparently.” I chuckled, glancingdown at her, she laughed and playfully pinched my side. Her laugh was music tomy ears. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to come here to see you,” Iadmitted after a moment.

“I’m sorry, give me five minutes and we’ll talk,” Ellasmiled, still wiping at her eyes. The girl disappeared into her room and Idecided to take a look around her apartment. I instantly spotted a frame withmultiple pictures inside it, hung up on the wall above the fireplace. A cheesysmile crawled onto my face as I saw most of the pictures were ours, right fromwhen we were little, to just last year. I saw this girl growing into such abeautiful and smart woman.

I flinched at the feeling of something touching my back andshoulder, but I quickly realised it was just Ella, trying to cuddle me frombehind. A small laugh escaped my lips and I let her cuddle into my body.

“I hope I didn’t ruin any plans you had?” I sighed quietly,biting down onto my lip.

The girl looked up at me with an amused expression on herface. “You know fully well that I would cancel any plans for you… That’s if Ihad any in the first place.” She surprised me with her words, positively ofcourse.

Ella pulled away from me and she started messing with herhair, I watched her with a smile, but a part of me felt like her sudden changein behaviour had a reason behind it. I was correct.

“Andi.. Can we go for a walk?” She asked in a soft tone, hereyes pleading me to agree.

I instantly nodded my head. I’d love to see more of Tokyo andI hoped I’d get to find out what was bugging my best friend. “Of course, butare you feeling okay?” I questioned worriedly.

I received a single nod and she smiled. “I think so. We willsee.” She laughed while grabbing her purse. She took my hand and I followed herto the door without any further questions.

The majority of the walk consisted of us talking abouteverything that had happened in the past few months that she had been away for,although, we already knew everything since we talked almost everyday over thephone.

It was already dark, but in my opinion that only made thecity look even more beautiful. We eventually came to a stop at bench when thedark haired girl mentioned that she wanted to sit down for a moment. We sat incomplete silence, which was never an issue as we where both comfortable withit, but Ella kept opening her mouth and closing it like she wanted to saysomething. She nervously rubbed the palms of her hands together and I shook myhead.

“Just say what’s on your mind El.. I may not have seen youfor a while, but I can still tell when you need to get something off of yourchest,” I sighed, looking into her eyes. I could see how difficult it was forher, she looked up at the sky before squeezing her eyes shut.

“So, I was going to tell you this in Sapporo, but you’re herenow and I can’t pretend that things are the same…” She mumbled and I began to grownervous myself. “I’m sorry Andreas, but I’m in love with you,” her voice wasshaky yet somewhat stern.

My mouth fell open and stared at her, completely stunned byher words. “You what?” I eventually muttered.

She was clearly frustrated as she ran her hand roughlythrough her hair before raising to her feet at a rather quick pace, whichalmost made me jump. “Look, I was thinking a lot and I realised that how much Imissed you wasn’t normal. I miss you more than anyone, I think about you morethan anyone, I can’t live without you-,” her words were sweet, but her tonemade it seem like she was yelling the worst abuse at me so I did the firstthing that came to my mind and I would be lying if I said I have never thoughtabout doing this before. I raised to my feet, gently cupped her face into mylarge hands and I kissed her as hard as I could.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Instagram verification will make you Public Enemy No. 1

This piece is part of an ongoing series exploring what it means to be a woman on the internet. 

In a folder on my phone called “PUBLIC FIGURE,” I save screenshots of some of the most outrageous messages strangers have sent me since I got verified on Instagram, primarily because I still can’t believe I get so many. There are dozens of DMs that demand to know “why tf” and ��how tf” I got a little blue badge. 

People will scrawl “who are you lmao” under a bunch of my photos all at once, which is a singularly mortifying experience that has no equivalent on Twitter or Facebook, where my profiles also have blue ticks. On a few occasions, I’ve commented on a celebrity or brand’s post, then watched as the replies to my original comment devolve into a fight over whether a person can buy verification and, if so, whether that’s what I did. To be clear, I didn’t. I’m a journalist and was verified for my job. My profile is categorized under “Journalist” and a Story highlight full of screenshots of my work appears right at the top of my profile.

The messages are sorted into my “requests” folder but are often accompanied by a push notification telling me a user “wants to send [me] a message.” I always know what it will say before I even unlock my phone to check. By far the worst one came from a user who asked how to get a tick a few times and when I didn’t answer, viewed my Story, noticed I was watching Gossip Girl for the first time, and sent me a spiteful DM telling me who Gossip Girl was, spoiling the show. 

In receiving this unexpected aggression, anger, and attention, I’m not alone. Several women verified on Instagram told me similar stories — with their experiences ranging from annoying to creepy to scary. And yet, men in media who I spoke to about this phenomenon generally have positive feelings about Instagram since being verified. No, this isn’t representative of all men, but it’s been shown that women are twice as likely to face online harassment and the men I spoke to didn’t report, say, getting unsolicited dick pics at a higher rate.

The DMs I get may seem trivial compared to revenge porn or other online harassment people face daily, but my “PUBLIC FIGURE” folder has evolved from an uncomfortable joke to a museum dedicated to the hostility that manifests itself in various ways for women across the internet and in real life. The messages may not necessarily be dangerous, but other manifestations certainly are, which is why they’re all worth investigating.

According to Instagram, the checkmarks are designed simply to “help people more easily find the public figures, celebrities, and brands they want to follow,” but among users, they function more or less as a mysterious status symbol. The general assumption is that Instagram either confers a marking arbitrarily on accounts with thousands of followers or the people behind smaller accounts buy them.

How I got the tick

When my former boss asked me if I wanted my Instagram account submitted for verification, it never occurred to me the small marking would be controversial. All I felt was a little excitement, but I tried to be cool with my response. 

I probably said something like, “Yeah, that would be super funny,” which, two years later, it still totally is, even though the tiny tick has brought me an outsized amount of harassment.

I don’t really self-identify as a public figure, celebrity, or brand; I’m a young woman who works in media, which bizarrely qualifies me for the badge as much as it qualifies Oprah. If and when I use my account to reach out to sources or act on behalf of a media company, it needs to be clear I’m not bluffing. 

At present, I have about 2,600 followers. Similarly, 2,900 accounts follow my Twitter, which is also verified and is where I actually post my work, but I’ve never gotten any harassing messages about my verification on that platform. Twitter’s indefinite pause on verifying users may contribute to that — or perhaps, a Twitter verification doesn’t have the same weight as one from Instagram on the social media totem pole. At any rate, I’m expected to have a badge on the app where I share links to my articles, not on the one where I share pictures of my face. Getting Instagram verification almost felt subversive, if self-serving. 

It also felt surprisingly validating to meet the standards for obtaining something so ostensibly prestigious. The feelings of success and belonging would prove short-lived, but there was a part of me, at first, that saw the badge as a sign I’d somehow made it, at least in terms of an admittedly subjective importance.

Like I said, though, I wanted to seem aloof with my boss, not like I actually cared. Online, it often seems like sincerity is the enemy of prosperity, but the dirty little secret is that we all do care. That’s why I ended up saying I wanted to be on the verification list with the rest of my coworkers even though I knew my friends were going to make fun of me for taking myself so seriously. (And they do!)

I was expecting the attention and ribbing from my friends, but I wasn’t expecting the explosion of outrage from total strangers. As it turns out, there are people who care a lot about their online image and have no problem making it known they, too, want a checkmark, even if it’s obvious they don’t know what its purpose is.

The "public figure" folder

The proof is in the “PUBLIC FIGURE” folder.

I’ve fielded emails and text messages about the checkmark, which always feel invasive, because I have contact information available on the page since, well, the whole point of the verified profile is to enhance my ability to do my job. I don’t usually respond to the messages or comments, but when I do, I just write that I work in media and didn’t buy anything. “I’m sure you didn’t get yours the right way because you don’t have much fans,” someone wrote back once, which is a pretty common theme among the messages, although the moralistic resentment over “the right way” added a unique touch.

Notably, four guys I’ve gone out with have brought it up in person, each with a different combination of annoyance and awe. One of them was an aspiring entertainer with no concrete acting credits. He admitted to googling me before our date (which was both our first and last one), then indignantly told me that if either of us should be verified, it was him, the actor. Another also worked in media and was frustrated no one at his organization knew anyone at Facebook, Instagram’s parent company, who could make it happen for him. I sipped my drink. What am I supposed to say to that?

I reached out to the Gossip Girl spoiler, who is purportedly a British teen, for this piece and they agreed to chat, but quickly retracted the agreement when I asked about the whole show-spoiling thing. The user did tell me I could quote this: “When I sent them things it was a joke and I never thought you’d open them because of your tick.” 

SEE ALSO: Instagram's 'Hashtag Mindfulness' boom: The good, the bad, and the ugly

It’s not a joke, though, and if it were, it would be much less funny to the verified women I spoke to than the verified men. (Instagram declined to comment for this article, as did a few verified users claiming to be selling badges in the comments of celebrity posts.)

What about the others?

Andrew Kirell, the senior editor at The Daily Beast who has 755 Instagram followers, says he gets more spam messages, but not necessarily harassment. Jon Levine, The Wrap’s media editor who has 2,105, says his harassment has neither gone up nor down post-checkmarking. KHarlles, a recording artist with 3,178 followers, noted that there has been an increase in DMs inquiring how he got his badge, but largely, getting verified on Instagram “was very positive” and has been useful to his career.

Polly A., a verified musician with over 12,500 followers on the platform, however, doesn’t agree that the tick is useful in any way. She’s noticed “no effect” beyond “annoyed” messages from unverified users: “I guess the only thing I notice is that some people almost make you feel unworthy for having one if you’re not ‘famous.’”

When asked about any effect she’s seen since getting her checkmark, a female journalist with a little over 1,000 followers asked to remain anonymous (as did every woman in media contacted for this story, for fear of further harassment). Granted anonymity, she confided she’s seen a definite increase in not only the sort of spam reported by Kirell and KHarlles, but “weird guys” and “creepy messages” from men. The dick pics and “inappropriate comments” she described aren’t uncommon for any woman online, but the amount she receives tripled after she was verified on Instagram from one or two a month to five or six. 

A second woman in media whose follower count sits around 3,000 said she, too, got an “insane amount” of spam DMs from people who wanted to purchase her account, but those halted and gave way to a wave of men offering out-of-line opinions on her appearance. 

Another woman in media I spoke to declined verification altogether simply because getting it would have meant she would need to make her account public, which she was unwilling to do. 

All of this raises a question, of course: Is it worth it? For women, especially, is solidifying a brand or public position through the use of the app’s verification badges really worth it? 

For the most part, in spite of creepy messages and straight-up aggression, no one I spoke to, whether in entertainment or media, said they fully regretted getting the tick. Almost everyone mentioned a bump in engagement and, honestly, a little self-aware gloating among friends (along with the same roasting by those friends that I correctly anticipated, too).

Moreover, media women who have seen an increase in the receipt of creepy messages or unwelcome nudes noted that yes, their messages to potential sources get answered faster and more reliably than messages sent by unverified colleagues. Even with my relatively low following, I, too, noticed that when seeking out sources for this story and others, I got a solid response rate I just didn’t see before I got that badge. When it needs to, the checkmark does its job. It also happens to bring a lot of anger and dick pics with it.

Whether being verified is “worth it,” then, depends entirely on what “worth it” means to each individual. We already know women experience more harassment just for being Online While Female. The extra visibility of appearing at the top of comment sections or searches can only add to that.

One artist, Thea & The WIld, who has 2,545 followers, shared a particularly rosy outlook about her checkmark and whether getting it was worth it. “[W]hen I search for known people I want to follow, I obviously look for the verification sign to avoid ‘fake’ profiles and weird content,” she said. 

She’s received a few nice messages from fans, she added, and while she’s concerned overall about the general addictiveness and vapidness of social media, she still gleans a little joy from her badge, which is probably the attitude we should all try to have: “For me, I think it just felt positive and probably affected some dopamine in my brain when that tiny mark appeared.” 

If I could go back in time to the moment my former boss asked if I wanted to get verified, I’d probably still do it, too, even though I audibly groan whenever I get a push notification alerting me that someone I don’t know “wants to send me a message” on the app. After all, it does its job of identifying me as a legitimate, trustworthy professional, even though one user did rather unkindly (but fairly!) surmise I must not be “one of the better known” journalists after I commented on an influencer’s post. Like other women harassed online, I’ve embraced blocking and deleting and I can’t recommend it enough.

Maybe one day I’ll grow into my badge and have the kind of account that seems like it ought to have one to the average user, but I know if and when that happens, I’ll face harassment for something new, simply for being a woman on the internet. In the meantime, at the risk of committing the most grievous online sin and seeming like I care, I invite you to follow me on Instagram. I’m verified, you know!   

Lindsey Ellefson is a journalist who lives in New York. Find her on Twitter, @ellefs0n.

WATCH: Queen Elizabeth II posted on Instagram for the first time

[replicarters]

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, pt 2

PREVIOUSLY

so my dude @yvenly, unbeknownst to me, loves a hellraiser and has a fuckin shirt of the scary man that he was wearing while reading the first part. jake assures me that the scary man is not going to come and get me and nothing i own is haunted. i trust jake, so fortunately i am able to continue what i started to do the other night, which is watch a scary gory movie starring a space angel. i can confirm it is both gory and scaring me. let me remind you, me, and god that i am only 20 minutes into it, and it took exactly 6 minutes to get to the point where i was gently pissing myself. i shudder to think what the remaining hour and ten minutes hold.

i would very much enjoy if it held more of this:

and less deep crimson rivers, but i know i'm wishing for too much.

hot topic is making breakfast, terribly. this charred, molten husk, for instance, lying atop a burner, is either toast or a severed steak. i think it's toast. everything is burning and she should stop. now, just last night, hot topic was bumming smokes, recklessly flipping curtains open, sitting on the couch weird, and emptying the contents of her backpack all over the floor. but now all of a sudden it's "hey what's up let me make breakfast", so, great, now i'm invested in this blossoming love story. god, what if hot topic dies??? i don't think i could handle that. she and joey are friends now! hot topic's trying to make her food to repay her kindness! it's all fine with me as you might guess.

hot topic's name actually is... terry... or teri... or something. hmmmm. i like to imagine the mental force of will required to not constantly go "yeah?" at your own name not being used to address you. acting!

here's where it starts to cross over into the gay danger zone, when hot topic says it's her first time cooking. and the turn of phrase she uses is that she's a... kitchen... virgin...?

is that... so...?

joey offers to boil some water and says it's a specialty of hers and they laugh awkwardly like two heteros having a hetero time. joey also starts to make a suggestion to hot topic, and i thought to myself, "is she going to tell her to go watch cartoons?" and that's Exactly what she fucking did. i bet hot topic is a big fan of the snorks.

that cookbook appears to be campbell's microwave cookbook, which is wonderful on about 15 different levels. microwave cookbook being levels one through ten.

hot topic dances on the edge of the gay event horizon by sneaking a peek in joey's closet Come On Now is this for real

and joey is apparently not that great with toast either so i don't know how these girls are going to feed each other after they defeat the hellraiser and get married.

one LITTLE detail left out until the change in camera angle is that hot topic isn't wearing any pants. that seems like it was pretty important information for me to have, for the f/f hellraiser 3 fanfic i am now writing.

everything is all fine and dandy until the music starts going again and hot topic gets upset. she really loves it here. she wants the movie to flip into a lesbian romcom instead of being the mind-crushing hack-and-slash that it is. you guys what if she gets hacked and slashed?! oh god i don't want it

"uhhh a guy's head exploded in the first six minutes; we can't go back." yes, joey has to solve this mystery, which, i mean, she's braver than me; if i watched a guy get blasted all over the hospital walls after chains pulled his head apart i'd have a repressed memory that wouldn't resurface until years and years later, at which point i'd pass out in the grocery store as a grown adult with kids or something, and when i came to i'd remember the hell out of it and wouldn't stop screaming until my vocal chords snapped.

oh my good god

there's something important happening here but all i heard was "we're going shopping." forrrrrr strap-ons?

oh, they came to the hobo man's art gallery that's only open at night, and that i keep calling the pyramidhead gallery in my head. also check out those pants. yikesaroo! i can hear 1992's sears catalog calling from a landfill!

gracious me this whole ensemble! noooo.

"maybe they're closed." they're not closed, they just cannot let you in dressed like you belong in a parade on stilts. it will offend the art and we'll have more bad guys roaming around in the spooky shadows.

some man with a dog across the street says the pyramidhead gallery is closed every day, except for he apparently doesn't know it's open exclusively at 12:01 am. he says it's been there for months, closed. hot topic says that's bs; her boyfriend just bought something there last week. ew so the boyfriend that threw her out is imitation danny zuko. girl, run far away because that guy's busy communing with unholy messenger rats.

then for no reason at all, this poor pup gets dragged away by its neck, growling because dogs know stuff. does the dog also know its owner is an irresponsible sack of shit who needs to learn what a proper harness is? sheesh.

"chill," hot topic says. "there's a back door, right?" and then she pulls a lock pick out of her tits. like, not on a chain or anything, so i guess it was just resting freely in her cleavage. another important detail for my fanfiction.

there are more ugly paintings inside but joey gets right down to business and finds a file drawer that's pretty much exactly like every file drawer we have at work. just full of accordion folders with papers shoved in them.

"ughhh," joey says, "this is gonna take Forever." i literally... had that moment with my boss at work yesterday trying to find some paperwork. but it's not gonna take forever, not with the music going, it's not...!

the most illuminating revelation is that the gallery is a total scam; everything they have comes from bankruptcy sales, high school art classes, insane asylums... wait, what? uh oh.

uhhhhh ohhhhhhh.

thankfully we leave immediately and head straight back to the loser room. yeahhhh fistbump brah! fistbumps existed in 1992! imagine that. we can truly trace all tradition back to our ancestors.

danny zuko spies a hot blonde and motions to his mark sheppard-looking bartender that he wants to hit that, so the bartender pulls a rose out from the... ice bin...? "here babe take a cold-ass rose" "oh baby the frozen petals are burning me up" - is that what's supposed to happen?

so danny zuko comes over, the girl's like, "oh, it's you~" and he tells her she's beautiful she says "oh no there's lots of girls here more beautiful than me" and he pretends like he cares about how she feels blah blah blah

and then we come to sex noises so the arctic rose worked pretty well. i think i'll spare you a screenshot of the actual sex; i'd rather take a picture of a head split in half. my favorite part though is that he constantly has his hands on her tits so you don't see any nip. so we can watch the other graphic shit we've seen and yet we're not allowed to look at a boob? the fuck?

oh ps the statue is in the background, watching them.

and at the exact moment danny zuko comes (ugh) the statue's eyes open. ohhhhhhhhhhhohohoho fcukinggfkhgkldhgl

then the eyes close again.

hot topic and joey are back at her apartment. joey's broken out of a pair of scully specs so i guess things have gotten serious in here.

hot topic prepares to walk out the door and joey is like HOLD ON???? WHY LEAVE??

she's trying to get some tape and succeeds and this is extremely untoward and i am offended!!!

hot topic guesses joey got what she needed, and prepares to show herself out. joey's face immediately falls and she's like no????? and she invites hot topic to stay in her spare room.

hot topic gets very emotional and says that's great, and offers to do breakfast! oh boy!!

even at the thought of inedible trash breakfast, joey is thrilled. this is Fucking Gay

"so cool... Radical!"

the girl danny just boned stands in front of this painting which, to be honest with you? kind of looks like dukat? maybe dukat if he roided up before the reckoning.

danny's already done with this and has important things to do like getting a scuff off his ugly red cowboy boots. it all goes south pretty fast.

"but you gave me a rose."

"and tomorrow, i'll give one to somebody else." ooooooh

"you shit," the girl says, speaking the truth.

there's yelling, the girl backs up toward the statue, i'm biting my nails because something's clearly gonna happen

LAUGHS NERVOUSLY OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO

chains, chains, it's always chains, hooked chains come out of the statue and sink into her. danny zuko, for as vile as he is, didn't plan this at all as even he's like "what the ffffuuuuuuccckkkk"

hello!! furby's awake!

the statue gets one more hook right into her forehead and then? and THEN, the all-time grossest fucking thing happens, and i swear to god i'm not making this up but also you're kidding if you think i'll actually screenshot it: the hook pulls THE ENTIRETY OF THE GIRL'S SKIN OFF HER BODY IN ONE SHOT, and THEN, STILL ALIVE and screaming bloody fucking murder, the girl, looking like a page out of any muscular system biology book, is DIGESTED BY THE STATUE.

and then once properly absorbed, her face appears SO ALL THE FACES ON THIS STATUE ARE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SKINNED AND EATEN HKFLGRHLGKLSKB I'M SCREECHING

i guess a nutritious meal was just the thing to get ol stoneface back to normal. HE'S HERE, THIS IS HIM, THIS IS THE GUY!! jake says his name is pinhead? just going to call him pincushion, hope that's okay. honestly it's more like nailcushion, those look like a bunch of nails sticking out of him. why does he love metal so much!!!

and all danny zuko has to say is "jesus christ!" like he couldn't even pretend to barf.

and pinhead FUCKING RESPONDS: "not quite." buddy, i'll say.

he starts getting poetic and i never expected him to have an accent. who do you think you are, shakespeare? i've never heard of shakespeare writing a scene where taming of the shrew ends with a flesh barbecue.

pinhead does one fun thing which is compare himself to danny zuko, which in my mind is exactly right but danny zuko cries and whines and says "no that's fuckin evil man!!!" yeah, just. like. you!

according to pinhead, there's no good, there's no evil, only flesh. is this what he does, just eats people? i didn't expect this either.

"you will help me," he says.

no Fuckin way danny zuko says, bringing out a gun like this is going to do anything other than increase pinhead's desire for flesh cakes.

oh my god and then pinhead laughs and says "how touching, that is the gun you used to kill your parents?" LMAO WHAT????

zuko unloads the gun and pinhead spits every bullet out of his mouth. just lets em drop right out onto the floor. danny zuko then drops his gun.

looks like you're in this for the long haul, pal!

he drops to the floor and starts sobbing. puny man sobbing in his boxers dot jpg.

there is a place, pinhead says, at his right hand for this manchild. yucky.

aaaand true to form, danny zuko takes a minute to think it over and then signs right up. this is so insulting to danny zuko; maybe i ought to start calling him his real name which is JP, which also is not really a name.

meanwhile, joey is full on channeling murphy brown and lookin cute. her friendly grandpa cameraman runs up to give her a package. something for her story? mmm something for something. grandpa cameraman, ever a decent person (oh god what if HE dies?) says if there's any way he can help, just give him a call. i think the first thing he can do to help is contact a priest specializing in exorcisms, get to that statue, and end this before it starts hopping railroad tracks.

scully specs are back on, tape is in the vcr, quest to quit smoking is shot, and we are go.

the tape is of a girl in a room at what looks like that asylum that was referenced before, and she's talking about The Box.

"demons," she says. "demons live in the box." well girl, we are way past that, the demons are out of the box, in statues, in hospitals, that box barely has anything to do with anything anymore.

"it's a gateway to hell." yeaarrrrgghhhhh somebody close it, then!

this is a really nice shot, i just wanted to stop everything and have you look at it. hands!

uhhh thennn the tv switches to an image of a dude

and that dude

starts talking

to joey

NOOOOOOOOPE

"she's telling the truth, joey," this guy that sounds Suspiciously like pinhead says.

joey tries to rewind the tape to see what the hell that was, but there's nothing out of the ordinary there... nnnnggghhhhgdhflk

anyway, demons live in the box. it "opens itself", they come out, that's the sitch. fuck all this.

s-s-s-speaking of the b-b-b-box, here it is at joey's apartment, where hot topic is currently all alone. god if anything happens to her i will be devastated beyond belief. pleeeease don't eat her please don't eat her.

hot topic stares at the box the same way i stare at the box: with off-the-charts trepidation. but she notices what i also noticed, that it looks a little different, like now it has color.

"man, joey must've polished you up some, huh?" oh no please don't

i'm pretty much. gonna shit. please put it down please please please joey will be so sad if you are dead and i can't take it!

oh god and then the phone rings and she puts it down thank jesus

absoLutely not the phone call i wanted her to get.

jp wants hot topic to come over. no no, no, no no no, no, and no!

pleeeeeease just wait for joey to get home she'll protect you and you can both be safe! if you go over to jp you're literally going to be devoured by a hell beast aaaaahhhhhhhh

well thank the lord she says she just can't and slams down the phone. score one for pure love! can you win against the delicate softness of girls being nice to each other, pinhead, can you?!

uh wait, then hot topic triggers joey's messages and it sounds like cameraman telling her she got a job that she wanted across the country. ??? what happened to pure love?!

joey comes home and the place is just a sty. it's dark and hot topic's not there.

and she finds this note that says, "enjoy monterey, you liar".

welp, love is dead and the demons are coming! might as well start breaking ourselves down into bite-sized chunks!

that's all for this evening. we’ll have another fun jaunt tomorrow! now, what do you think is the best technique for cutting off your own arm? just grab a hacksaw and go to town?

[rebeccahpedersen]

More MLS Musings!

TorontoRealtyBlog

This is slowly becoming a tradition; emptying my entire “Musings” folder into one epic blog post at year’s end.

That’s not to say that these are by any means “leftovers,” but rather I often try to come up with a “theme” in my MLS Musings, and sometimes, those really great pics waiting in the queue just continue to wait, and then wait some more.

If you’re a long-time reader, you know the things that really irk me.

Blurry photos, photos with people in them or reflections of the photographers, photos of inanimate objects like the microwave or a plant, bad staging, sideways photos, etc.

Then there’s all the craziness that doesn’t irk me, but puts a smile on my face.  Agents that are too lazy to visit the property, so they screenshot a Google Maps image of the house, or how about the insane things that agents will write in the MLS description?

I hate it all.  And I love it all at the same time.

So today, let me regale you with everything that I have left, and see if I can fit these into some themed sections…

–

First, let’s start with the MLS write-ups, shall we?

Call me a stickler for the details, but this is a classic example of inventing a phrase for your own benefit:

What is an “open concept, one-bedroom” anyways?

Is that anything like……………..geez……………..I dunno………………a bachelor condo?

Maybe!

Let’s take a look at the photo from this “Open Concept One Bedroom”

Well, I’m no real estate expert, but that is a bachelor condo.

Maybe this is all part of that trend toward not “labelling” people anymore.  Like callling the homeless, “housing-challenged.”

–

Here’s another gem, although this one is a bit more honest:

True.

This unit does have an “unobstructed city view.”

For now…

But you could literally put a timer to this “unobstructed view.”

It looks to me like……..maybe………..another six months…

–

Tell me if you immediately understand this reference:

If you do, great.  We can hang out.

If not, then you’re too old, or too young.

And no, I’m not going to tell you.

But in a related story, we had a class called “Vocal Music” in 1991 when I was in Grade-6, and Mr. Isman told me we would sing the lyrics to any song that I transcribed.  So I wrote out all the lyrics to Sir Mix Alot’s “Baby Got Back,” and the poor teacher had no choice…

–

What a-hole wrote this, honestly?

I understand “marketing.”  Yes.

But aren’t you driving away 99% of the buyer pool to catch 1%?

And this listing wasn’t anything special, nor was it screaming “cool, single guy.”

They would have caught far more flies with honey, in my opinion…

–

If this is actually permissible, then why do we even have listing agents?

–

Screw single people, right?

–

Before you suggest that this is a relgious thing, I can assure you there was nothing religious-sounding about the agent’s name.  Just sayin’.

Maybe it’s just an agent whos’ being honest?

–

This is just really, really overselling…

This was at 1 Bloor, by the way.  I get that 1 Bloor is “expenisve,” but that doesn’t make it luxurious, elegant, world-class, etc.

I’m so tired of people equating over-priced, expensive things as automatically being worth it.

–

Jesus!

How high is this condo?

No seriously, it’s not on the 188th floor of a Mimico or Oakville waterfront condo.

It’s on Homewood, near the Keg Mansion…

–

Is this meant to be facetious?

Spectacular view of the QEW?  Is this a language barrier, sarcasm, or somebody that really believes looking at a highway is a selling feature?

Why not come up with some choice others?

“Fantastic sound of garbage chute at all hours of the day.”

“Wonderful smell of sewage plant.”

“Splendid taste of lead in kitchen tap water.”

–

How about some epic staging fails?

Let’s start with……hmmmm….

….ah, this one!

I’m a minimalist by nature, but that’s a little too bare for my liking.

–

One of the most difficult parts of an agent’s job is to show prospective buyers what various rooms are for.

Like, the kitchen!  What do you do in there?  Gymnastics?  How in the world is somebody supposed to know that you cook in there?

Same goes for, say, a closet.

That’s why it’s so important to stage a closet with three hanging shirts…

–

Awesome outdoor space!

That turquoise rug really ties the space together!

Except…………how do you get in the garage, which is advertised as the parking space on the listing?

–

How about some design, layout, and feature fails?

I understand the “beer fridge” in the man-cave.

And I have a mini-fridge in my office.

But this just looks a wee bit out of place…

–

By the same token, I think this “renovated kitchen” as described in the listing might have benefitted from an architect, designer, and child with a ruler and calculator:

I guess nobody ever uses the staircase to the basement?

–

For this next one, let me say that I’m biased.  I’m a huge fan of outdoor spaces.

I’m also a salesman, so let me put a positive spin on this….

….”Things like sunlight, air, space, and not feeling like you’re in an outdoor prison cell are overrated!”

–

Wine cellars are awesome!

It’s a great way for people who know nothing about wine to pretend that they, in fact, do.

It’s also the perfect place to store rainwater in your new $4,000,000 house…

–

This might be the saddest 2-person dinner table I have ever seen:

–

Now how about some people in our lives?

This one isn’t that bad, is it?

Either the owner locking up, while the Realtor takes a photo.

Or a Realtor-Realtor team showing that two heads are better than one.

Except, for the fact that this is the feature photo in a listing that has eight photos:

–

This one looks really suspicious.  If the agent was taking a photo, and this really is his listing, then why didn’t he wait until the owner and her friend left the front door?

–

This one looks as though it’s by design:

But is there something I’m missing here?

Is this like showing the water flowing out of the kitchen faucet, like, “This is Todd, and Todd is opening the balcony door to let air flow into the condo.”

Is it part of the marketing?  Well-dressed dude-bro lurking out over Liberty Village Parking lot, in front of large wall-art that his designer bought for him?

–

Beautiful house here, but can you see the owner inside?

–

I’m fairly certain this is a mannequin, and not a real person.

But either way, just……..whyyy?

–

And last but not least, are we really putting people out front of the house……….in artist’s renderings now?

–

Go ahead, be the person that says, “Buyers will look past it.  Buyers aren’t looking at my stuff, or the colour of the walls.”

Tell me I’m wrong to clean, paint, and stage every one of my listings.

Then tell me you think this is the best way to showcase a condo:

–

How about a couple of photo arrays?

This is the very definition of “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

It’s the same photo, three times.

We get it.  The sun sets in the east…

–

As for the next one, at least they got 3 of 8 right.

I’m pretty sure in today’s public school system, that’s a passing grade!

–

And last, but certainly not least, I don’t know what it was about this photo, it just really made me laugh.

I could call this a “staging fail,” or a classic “design flaw.”

This could be like the fridge in the living room, or the fridge blocking the stairs.

It could be like a giant statue in the front foyer.

Whatever it is, I just can’t help but wonder why the agent didn’t think to mention this to the seller.

I also laugh picturing myself working out while my family eats dinner, so I can’t be accused of “not spending family time” with them.

Seriously, I can picture it.

I’m on the stairmaster, my wife and kids are having dinner, and I’m panting while talking to them.

“Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh…..Billy………eat your peas…..heh, heh, heh, heh, heh………don’t talk back to your mother………”

I would try my hardest not to flick sweat in their mashed potatoes, but I’m a big sweater when I workout.  If I’m not dripping, I’m not working hard enough.

I can see something like the above in my future.

Thanks to everybody who submitted a photo or listing caption for MLS Musings over the past year, and I encourage you to do the same in 2019.

Coming up next week, it’s my annual tradition: Top-5 Blog Posts of 2018, followed by Top-Five Real Estate Stories of 2019.

Have a great weekend!

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