#got punched by a gorilla that was p cool

[vnd---archive-blog]

“Did you get bit by something?”

    gordon ramsey vc : INJURIIIIIIES !    ⇢    @mortalspark

fingers   trace   over   definitive   marking   on   his   forearm ,    pale   scars   etched   into   tanned   skin .   his   dress   sleeves   are   rolled ,   indifference   and    ignorance   to   the   mars   his   skin   wears   from   long   years   of   dangerous   curiosity .   the   doctor’s   eyes   inspect ,   familiarity   laced   with   disbelief .   the   discoloring   is   overall   ovular ,   imperfect   but   lead   at   the   deepest   point   by   what   appears   to   be   incisors .   thin ,   sharp   off - white   lacerations   at   highest   and   lowest   peak .   giving   way   along   the   flesh ,   torn   crudely ,   to   suggest   he’d   pulled   away .   a   human’s   mouth ,   a   violent   impression   of   it .

“    in   a    manner   of   speaking .   ”   agent   nods ,   staring   at   the   scar .    "    i've    been    bit    by    a    lot    of    things    most    people    would    take    as    a    hint    to    retire .   ”  

[thecreativeangel]

Accidental Stabbing (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You tried to stay out of trouble, really you did. But while running from Henry Bowers, you bump into the only group people who seemed to have noticed you since your arrival at Derry. One particularly stupid boy in thick glasses catches your attention as you ‘accidentally’ stab Henry. 

Warnings: Cursing, stabbing someone (I mean… duh), blood, mention of assault, mention of cult activities (it sounds worse that it is, but holy fuck I sound satanic).

Word Count: 1,312

Being a resident of Derry officially sucked ass. Seriously. You glanced behind you as you ran and saw that Henry Bowers was still close behind, shoving little kids and adults alike. Your head snapped back to face front and you prayed that your legs could carry you just a little bit more. Ever since moving here a two months ago, there were a specific group of people you knew to avoid, even if it meant always being quiet and keeping your head down. Not that you were quiet in real life, but it was best not to trigger the anger that you kept locked away. Henry shouted something about you being a slut, his voice louder and closer. Your throat was growing tight and dry but the adrenaline kept you moving, sprinting through the town, ducking under people’s arms, sidestepping old folks, trying not to trample toddlers… All because the Patrick kid from Henry’s gang thought your shorts were too small. Well he can go fuck himself. You think, pumping your arms and legs faster. Fuckin’ pervert.

Deep in thought, you didn’t notice the more crowded intersecting roads of the marketplace and the dense crowd that came with it. You skidded to a halt just as the curb ended, earning a loud honk from at least five cars, curses being shouted from inside. I can’t cross now… Shit! Bowers and his trolls were barely five meters away. You spun on your heel and ran down the empty lots of the town’s center, not acknowledging the group of kids that blocked the sidewalk. They turned their heads at the loud footsteps and Henry’s cussing, noticing you for the first time.

“Motherf-” You cut yourself off, squeezing past two taller boys and ducking under one kid's fanny pack.

“Shit, sorry-comin’ through-sorry,” You yell as you try your best to politely push them aside, then shout another apology over your shoulder. “I’m sorry!”

“You’re dead!” Henry roars back, probably knocking over the other kids to get to you.

You briefly turn around and start running backwards, purely to shout: “EAT SHIT BOWERS!” and turn back, cackling maniacally. Yeah, being chased by him was fucking terrifying, but yelling that was so much fun.

You were confused when another set of voices mixed with Henry’s.

“You know I don’t run!”

“Shut the hell up a-and help her!”

“I’m on it, okay?”

A hand grabbed yours, yanking you back into someone. You looked up to see Henry towering over you, yelling for his friends to catch someone.

“She’s got backup!”

What the fuck? Backup? Henry lifted you off the ground by your collar, kicking your feet in hopes of hitting him. You gripped the neckline of your shirt, trying to tug it down, the air was being cut off completely and your face turning blotchy red. Your hand itched to the back pocket of your shorts, the switchblade peeking out from the fabric. This was it, you were going to get killed. Or raped. Or drowned in the creek. One moment he was holding you up and the next you were dropped on the floor and the humanoid gorillas that were Henry and his gang were circling the group of kids from before. You landed painfully on the bumpy gravel road, scraping your hands and knees, the little rocks digging into and leaving red spots on your skin. You spit blood and saliva on the concrete, reaching with shaking hands for the switch blade that had fallen out of your pocket.

Looking at the kids closer, you realized why they were so familiar; they were in all of your classes. The taller ones were Bill and Stan, you were sure of it. The one with the fanny pack was Eddie, and the kid with giant glasses…was being punched to death. You decided to call him Glasses for now.

You sprang up, flicking the blade out just as Glasses was shoved backward. Poor boy stumbled over a pebble and nearly fell over, earning a round of laughter from Henry’s gang.  

“Come on, do something!” Henry taunts, pushing Glasses back again. He plucked the thick spectacles off the boy’s nose and chucked them behind his back. “Your little girlfriend’s gonna get it anyways. C’mon! Hit me!”

In a feeble attempt, Glasses sloppily swung his fist at Henry’s face but Patrick caught it in his hand and twisted the boy’s arms around to near breaking point. Glasses bit his lip to keep from groaning, trying to act tough. Your temper flared again, boiling dangerously high. Maybe that was what finally snapped inside, because the next second you stabbed Henry in the thigh and slashed his jeans open, pulling back and brandishing the knife. Everyone backed up as you pointed it at every boy in turn, your eyes darting around.

“B-back the hell up,” You snarl. “D-don’t fucking come any closer or I’ll spear you like that hooker speared your mom.”

Despite being on the ground, Glasses sniggered. Henry snapped out of his trance and advanced, his hand outstretched to grab you. You panicked. Like, your mind completely shut down and instinct took over. Not thinking of any consequences, you lunged forward and buried the blade in Henry’s palm, pulling it out to raise it above your head, ready to strike again. Belch and Patrick  began shouting and turned to run the other way. Henry gave you one last loath filled look and ran after them, cradling his limp hand.  

You exhaled and dropped the knife at your side, crouching down to pick up the stupid boy’s glasses. He was already on his feet, yelling something along the lines of “Go suck a dick!” and “Crawl back into hell you dirty son of a-”

You gently tapped his shoulder. Glasses spun around, surprised to see you standing there. Before you could chicken out, you took his thick lensed spectacles, hastily wiped them off with the corner of your t-shirt and placed them carefully on his face. He stared at you, his face, ears and neck slowly turning a nice shade of light pink.

“Thanks.” You say, watching the glasses fall down the bridge of his nose.

“I-uh, no p-problem.” He mutters. “He’s a mullet wearing asswipe, and um-you stabbed him, holy shit…”

“Yes, why did you stab him?” The curly haired boy you were sure was Stan, asked.

You smiled bashfully, kind of proud of yourself, in a weird way. “I always carry a switchblade… Guess it actually made itself pretty useful.”

“Pretty…” Glasses mumbles. His eyes widen and he fumbles to correct his mistake. “Pretty useful! Yup, the knife was-it was smart. Very smart!”

His eyes distracted you. Forget the fact that they the nicest doe eyes you’d ever seen without glasses on, but with glasses they were magnified to be even more innocent looking than before. Weird… Isn’t this the kid who wrote “you’re almost uglier than your mom’s vagina” on Gretta Keene’s yearbook?

“I’m Richie Tozier.” He says, offering you his hand to shake. You take it.

“I’m-”

“Please,” Eddie scoffs. “He already knows your name, don’t you Richie?”

“Go wipe your mom’s ass!”

“Not funny! At all!”

“If you wanna see something funny go look in a mirro-”

You laugh, enjoying the banter. So this is what it’s like to have friends. Sort of. “Whatever group you guys are in, I wanna join.”

“It’s more of a cult, really,” Richie drawls, watching you dust off your shorts. “The blood sacrifices are every Wednesday.”

“Cool,” You say passively, liking his odd sense of humor. How you hadn’t gotten to know his name before this baffled you. “I’ll gut the dead animals. See you at school!”

“Yeah!” Richie calls at your retreating form. “See you…”

While walking away, you could have sworn you heard someone yell “Whipped!”, followed by a loud whack and cursing. You smiled to yourself. It was going to be a good year.  

[italicwatches]

Animal Sentai Zyuohger - Episode 30

I miss the Gokaigers already. But we have to go forward. It’s Animal Sentai Zyuohger, episode 30! Here we GO!

-PREVIOUSLY ON Animal Sentai Zyuohger, the Gokaigers were really cool, weren’t they?

-PRESENTLY ON Animal Sentai Zyuohger, Yamato is reminiscing over his time with space pirates. And also is ready with the others to try and call Cube Whale to them the way they call the other Cube Animals.

-So, a rack of the cannon and a pull of the trigger! OCEAN! Cube Whale, to their side! …Nothing happened. Where is the whale? There is no whale. This is not, working, at all. So shit.

-Back in the cabin, they’re left trying to figure out a plan…Could Cube Whale be stuck in hiding, like Cube Bat and some of the others? It’s a whale, so it would be in the ocean…Oh, great, they only have to search across two thirds of your waterlogged-ass planet. This is going to be a complete and utter mess, isn’t it.

-And then cue Mario in a whale outfit. Mario, what happened to the robot bird. What did you do to the robot bird. But also, why the whale? And it seems there was this huge water spout off of the coast! People are calling it a record-breaking whale. …It could be Cube Whale.

-While Bunglay rips the same information out of a news crew…And up in the Big Bow, it seems Kubar has gone missing, and Azald is displeased. Who’s he going to get hammered with if there’s no Kubar?! But Genis thinks there’s about to be something far more fun than liquor happening very soon…

-Opening!

-Episode 30! The Legendary Mega-Beast

-So the gang’s soon out to the area around where the spout was seen…So who’s gonna get looking? Sela’s down. Yamato’s going to try and use Whale’s power to help. And Misao, being a fisherman, is of course going…to…

-…Get into a scuba suit. Misao, this seems like a bad plan…But now his pride as a fisherman is all fired up…

-Oh and that’s when Bunglay arrives. Which makes it even worse. Instincts Awakened! Champion of the world, ZYUOH THE WORLD! Champion of the snowy drifts, ZYUOH TIGER! Champion of the forest, ZYUOH ELEPHANT! Champion of the savannah, ZYUOH LION! Champion of the surging waves, ZYUOH SHARK! Champion of the soaring sky, ZYUOH EAGLE! Animal Sentai, ZYUOHGER!

-All Beasts Unleashed! The World goes right out with his WORLD THE CRASH….And promptly gets kicked into the dirt, as Bunglay leaps past him to fight the core five! But The World, driven by pride twice over, raises back up and throws out a vicious slash…That mostly just hits his comrades. Good job, jackass.

-So Eagle decides to kick it up. Instincts AWAKENED! WHALE! The Champion of Champions steps forth…And the sea responds, a massive spout of water from the water! Bunglay’s prey is here…

-And Shark throws aside her sword to get immediately into the water, swiftly followed by Bunglay and Whale!

-The World gets out his rod, intending to get Bunglay out of there….Aaaand he just ends up with a Shark instead. And she is very angry, as The World finally calms down enough to be guilty…

-As down in the water, Bunglay and Whale cash…Only to both be swept out of the water by Cube Whale, and flung back onto land!

-Whale hits the ground so hard that his suit fails…Or perhaps the power has chosen to reject him. Either way, he saw it….He saw Cube Whale.

-And Bunglay also slowly recovers on the other side of the coastline, seeing a huge opportunity in this strong of prey…But he’s found by Kubar.

-Back with the crew, they’ve got to figure out how to rally him…Sela has the idea of going down there with Cube Shark, and Misao wants to join her in Cube Crocodile to make up for what happened…

-Which leaves the remaining four to deal with the strong vibes of Bunglay. He’s still close by, and has to be dealt with…As, down in the water, everything goes black…And then red. They’ve been found…And ensnared in poison from Bunglay’s ship! He’s pouring a thick, agonizing toxin into the sea…! But, how…Who could be in there…?

-Kubar. Even with what Bunglay knows about him…Or perhaps because of what he knows…

-A flashback, as we see the end of their last fight. And the implications are made fact. Kubar’s homeward was lost, because of Genis. And so Bunglay made him an offer, to take Genis down when the time was right…If he’d just help Bunglay snare his target first.

-Back in the Now, and as you can imagine, Yamato is furious that Bunglay would put such damage into the ecosystem. GORILLA! Instincts Awakened! The four of them charge forth…

-As, deep underwater, The World is the first to manage to push through the pain, letting raw fury guide him into firing a shot right into the ship! And Shark manages to knock Kubar into the air, forcing him into a retreat…But The World’s passed out from the pain! Fuuuuck.

-While up topside, Bunglay grabs a few MotWs out of Elephant’s head, including a giant one! Great. Just…Just great. Gorilla, you’re on ground duty, they’ve got mecha scale! And so the fight is on, as Lion, Elephant and Tiger march forth with Gorilla’s help…Animal Combination! FOUR! THREE! FIVE! SIX! ZYUOH WILD! Zyuoh Wild Special! It’s an extra tall, extra tough Zyuoh Wild able to fight at the extra-large mecha scale…

-As Gorilla needs more options. WHALE! Instincts AWAKENED! Champion of champions, ZYUOH WHALE! Draped in his longboat, the fight is on, and now he can hold his own despite being outnumbered two to one…

-As, back in the ocean, Cube Whale struggles in the toxin…And Sela manages to drag Misao to the sand before she passes out herself…They’re in a bad spot….

-As at mecha scale, Lion calls up Cube Bear, which transforms to CUBE PANDA! With a golden axe, they can punch above their weight class!

-While down on the ground, Whale charges up a ZYUOH FINAL shot…Gripping tight…The shot arcs up and boomerangs down, burning his foes to ash, while the mecha team put down a Wild Rocket Knuckle! The fight is won….

-As they see the toxins vanish from the water…As taken in, by force, by Cube Whale. Letting his powerful filters clean them from the sea, and pour out fresh, clean water…It’s amazing.

-And Bunglay sees his chance, peppering Cube Whale with fire from his waist cannon! Whale grabs him up, trying to stop him…But that’s when a fleet comes in from above, a whole Dethgalien force! Cube Whale swiftly goes underwater, and Bunglay finds himself as fired upon as the Zyuohgers, forced to fight them…

-While Cube Whale starts to use his sheer bulk to tear into them. But Naria arrives, here to take Cube Whale for Genis!

-And Kubar gets back into the Big Bow, just in time to see what Genis is doing…Naria sees her chance ground side, and pops a tracker onto Cube Whale…

-Even as it rises into the air, starting to fire furious torpedoes into the ships that would threaten it…And into the other Cube Animals?! It’s raging, furious, and trusts no one, as it takes Zyuoh Wild Special out in one tailswing…Naria fucking bails, leaving Whale and Bunglay to get enveloped in fire…

-While Genis calls up another of his old toys…As the wounded crew manage to find Sela and Misao…And as Whale stirs, only to see the great beast that empowers him flying away, having left this beach turned into rubble…

-Credits! Croc-out like a crocodile! Let’s let’s dance!

God damn.

[gamblegroomps]

Houes of Blues Ninja Sex Party Concert Recap

Okay now that I’ve had a bit of rest, I’m going to talk about my experience at the concert. Again I super wish that I was able to take pictures but my phone died and wouldn’t charge for some dumb reason. I am going to reblog the hell out of other people’s pics and videos though and I did buy a poster (that ripped a bit in my purse, but the signatures are still intact) and a TWRP shirt. Everything else is under readmore in case I spoiled something (also probably not in order, I typed some of this as a draft last night):

MC Chris- good replacement for StarBomb. He was actually pretty good rapper, although his voice I thought was an effect at first. No his voice is really that high pitched. I recognized his Candy song because I used to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force at one point and heard that song, liked it. I also liked that he was a pretty funny and good hype man too, he did do some good nerdy raps. He’s not someone I’d listen to for a long while, but he’s pretty good for the show itself.

TWRP - SO good live and Dr.Sung is fit as fuck holy shit. The gag of them just skipping numbers in the set was pretty funny and I didn’t expect their songs to sound so great live, with them having a lot of synths. But Commander Meowuch and Lord Phobos really can shred on their respective instruments and Havve Hogan’s eyes and drumming were so cool. Like I said Dr. Sung was fit as hell, he was twirling nunchucks and kicking and he looks like he really works out, I was able to see his bubble butt :3 Atomic Karate was my fave because I didn’t know how they would do Arin’s part of the song, but they nailed it and their whole performance.

Danny is as cute and handsome in person as he is on YouTube videos. Like holy hell, seeing him in the flesh and being close enough to the stage to see him smiling and so full of energy and having a great time (and his cute/sexy little hip shakes that kind make me weak at the knees) was so wonderful. He’s really gotten into doing rock-out performances and his singing was incredible as always.

Brian was awesome and super hilarious. He did little dances in some of the songs and he even had his own little moment of performance on stage (which I’ll discuss later). Flipping the bird at him never felt so awesome, and he even got the audience to do a ROCK FUCK chant with half the room saying ROCK and the other saying FUCK (I was in the ROCK half).

Concerto in P Minor was amazing. This was Brian’s little solo performance (along with TWRP for back up) and it sounded so beautiful and very opera. I recognize it from one of the 30-second Seductions, I’m impressed it was made into a whole orchestrated song with Brian playing classical piano. Then it led into him and TWRP playing the Mortal Kombat theme which was so awesome and pumped the room even more, during which Brian cut his hand while playing and it bled out onto the keyboard, we thought it was pretty metal and he threw up devil horns.

New animation video was pretty cool, I remember gorilla-prutt’s art for it on the NSP tag earlier. It was pretty funny and it was about when they first met. Not going to spoil too much because I don’t think it was supposed to be recorded, but here’s a hint: Danny tells his version of the story (involving aliens) and then Brian “tells” his version. You figure which one is more truthful.

New music video shown was pretty great, but may not be for everyone. I don’t want to say what song it’s for because the audience took the NSP pledge (namely that if someone is recording something that they shouldn’t, don’t punch them in the nuts just graze them, which lead to audience chanting GRAZE THE NUTS) and it’s supposed to be a secret.

Played You Spin Me Round from the new cover album, Danny certainly sounded much better than Pete Burns. Also TWRP’s rendition of the song makes it sound so awesome on stage, lots of rock guitar really helps that song.

Played Danny Don’t You Know, it was so beautiful that Danny and Brian made that song. So glad that Danny is where he is now that he’s happier about life in general and made that song.

Played slow and somber Dinosaur Laser Fight with just Danny and Brian on stage, so poetic and lots of cell phone lights swaying in the crowd. Felt like it was so magical just hearing that song in a whole new light.

Hilariously a lot of the stuff NSP played were a whole bunch of new material, the only songs they played off of their older albums was Dinosaur Lazer Fight (played slowly), NSP theme song (their intro), and Unicorn Wizard (which again with TWRP helping with the instrumentation sounded incredible)

Lots of fucking with Danny moments, courtesy of Brian. Before they played Unicorn Wizard, Brian did the bloopy reggae jam bit and Danny just look (fake) peeved. It escalated further with TWRP joining in and they actually made a little song out of the bloopy reggae jams about buttsex and buttstuff, that was pretty hilarious.

Lots of bras being thrown(definitely not as many as Orlando but quite a few), along with pants and a hat. One of the bras did hit Danny on the face and almost hit Dr. Sung when Danny’s back was turned. Strangely I actually found the bra throwing him hilarious when seen in person, but yeah it is still pretty bad to do that when they told the crowd to stop and it kept happening. Hopefully this was the last show that this happens.

Brian wearing someone’s jorts that got thrown on stage. This needed its own section because I didn’t expect Brian to fit the jorts and he stuffed all of the bras in it on stage. Then when The No-Pants Dance was playing, he did like a strip-show kind of thing where he pulled out the bras one by one and then the jorts themselves, I died laughing.

So much love for Dan and Brian in equal measure. I find this important because lots of people were cheering for Danny, but also a lot of the people were hyped for Brian and chanted his name and love for him. Also Avi got some cheers too when Danny mentioned him, Avi asks about the number of bras they get in each show haha.

The loving speech thing Danny did was really sweet, the one where he talks about shit going bad in the world and how we need to love and forgive everyone and ourselves. A little idyllic for my tastes, but it feels kind of warranted, there is too much hate going on in the world right now and we need more positivity. Danny is just such a sweet guy and him wanting to spread a positive message on the tour is so admirable.

Being near the speakers was so worth it just to be able to see the stage. At times I had to cover my ears but the music still was pretty amazing and the crowd was very energetic. Next time I’m buying earplugs though if I ever stand that close again.

They ended the concert with playing The Hit and again, it truly shows how well NSP and TWRP mix together, and hearing it again live made it so much better :D

TL; dr: 50/10 Such a magical and amazing night, and if they ever have a concert near me again I’m definitely going, with a camera this time.

[sexysilverstrider]

for the character impression thing mmm... Touya (pokemon), N, Gladion, Nino, Takumi, and Hector?

lmao dude das a lot of people

Touya

First impression: cool boy

Impression now: cool boy is who a calmer than the reckless she-tarzan

Favorite moment: assuming touyas the protag here i love love LOVE when he and bianca n cheren take their first step to route 1 together :’)

Idea for a story: if i were to ever write touya hmmm he finds N n just. runs up to him for a hug. just squeeze the tree.

Unpopular opinion: he. like all the kids. starts his journey at the tender age of 16. he also became a Legendary Hero at the tender age of 16. what goals.

Favorite relationship: N because the bw plot has no business fucking me up like that.

Favorite headcanon: hes the more chillax version than his counterpart. however hes also secretly bitter and dangerous when he or his friends n family gets intimidated.

N

First impression: wtf he looks weird

Impression now:  protect your local tree boy

Favorite moment: that scene in bw2 where he said to the bw2 protag  about the bw protag….idk what it was but it was emotional n lowkey showed N cared for the protag so much gamefreak pls make them meet again im dying

Idea for a story: When Two Are One is basically a dream come true for me c:

Unpopular opinion: i….idk the biggest opinion i hate how people use to mischaraterize him as this suave abuser to the protag…..i dont want that

Favorite relationship: if sss didnt ignite my passion for writing im p sure ferriswheelshipping will

Favorite headcanon: sadder version: when they reunited, touko actually lands a good punch onto Ns stomach n just breaks down n yells at him about missing him n worrying for him before she deadass faints due to losing all tht energy after waking up from a coma n running away from the hospital. happier version N adopts every single pokemon he can get his hands on. he and touko are parents to 100 pokemon now.

Nino

First impression: daww she looks so cute and sweet!!

Impression now: Protect Her

Favorite moment: tbh???? when she sees zephiel praying for his sisters health n his familys happiness n nino just…she couldnt kill him…she couldnt do it…

Idea for a story: nino giving birth to the twins and just. shes crying happily while she holds them n she cries more to see tears ACTUAL TEARS in jaffars face…theyre a family now…

Unpopular opinion: their ending is dead to me.

Favorite relationship: JAFFAR i just….god its so fucking emotional and tragic and i love it so…sosoosos much…..their appearance in heroes made me so sad tbh

Favorite headcanon: nino is exceptionally skilled in magic n taught the twins how to use em!!! she also pampers them a whole lot lmao. at one point she even asks jaffar if he could teach her how to use a sword. jaffar is stubborn n in denial at first but man does the girl knw how to get thru his heart.

Hector

First impression: bulky man

Impression now: bulky man who needs to be supervised

Favorite moment: mmm lemme see….i REALLY love when hector casually lifts nils n put him on his shoulder. a Good Dad

Idea for a story: OOOOOHHH since hes home in heroes i kinda wanna write his shock for knowing he has a daughter. this reckless gorilla of a man has a beautiful lovely DANGEROUS daughter. hector is shooketh bt hes also very proud.

Unpopular opinion: mmmmm i got nothing tbh??? just stay as u are hector

Favorite relationship: FLORINA!!! small pegasus girl with the big bulky strong man. hector can easily lift her and put her on his shoulder too.

Favorite headcanon: hector is such…an embarrassing dad lmao. he dotes on lilina A LOT n makes kissy faces to her. the only people who saw it and lived were florina (obviously) eliwood n lyn. eliwood n lyn can never let hector forget about it

[italicwatches]

Animal Sentai Zyuohger vs Ninninger - Part 2

Okay, let’s finish this beast and get it behind me. It’s People In Animal Masks vs Some Ninjas Who Are Bad At Their Job, part 2! Here we GO!

-So right when we last left off, everyone’s dead! Oh no! Twice in a row we’ve started with everyone dead, that’s not a good pattern for the Super Sentai. And Yoshiharu is in despair.

-While Runrun is having a pretty great time now that his job is…done…?

-Those were ALL training dummies, as the shinobi reappear with the crew in tow! A mass illusion and hiding, to trick Runrun into revealing his true nature! But how? Well, it helps that Yakumo and Kasumi suspected something wasn’t entirely adding up with Runrun from the start, so they’d been watching him.

-And back when they were interrogating Misao, he managed to charades his way into showing them that the mask was a trick…So as soon as they got it off and he told them how it had been talking on top of him, they left an illusion behind and went to meet with the Zyuohgers…Who had totally already taken a hostage.

-But they were willing to talk, to form a plan…A plan to catch Runrun out! And now with his trickery revealed, they can stand together! Also Takaharu thinks his comrades are cool as hell, while Yamato is just frustrated that his crew didn’t tell him a single thing. So Runrun is mad.

-And off comes the Teletubby-ass facade, to reveal that Runrun really looks like…

-Well mostly like Swampfire from Ben 10 with some extra flare.

-Also his real name is Girumaada. So the shinobi swiftly pull a smoke-bomb escape, and the team is able to stand together on the roof!

-To nobody’s surprise, out come phantoms of foes the Sentai teams have faced before. Some Ninninger guys, and Bunglay and the first-episode shitty general for Zyuohger.

-But fine. Instincts Awakened! THE CHANGE! NIN NIN NIN! NIN NI NIN NIN! Shuriekn Change! RED! BLUE! YELLOW! WHITE! PINK! STAR! NINJAS! WOW! And also animal sounds.

-Champion of the soaring skies! ZYUOH EAGLE! Champion of the surging waves! ZYUOH SHARK! Champion of the savannah! ZYUOH LION! Champion of the forest! ZYUOH ELEPHANT! Champion of the snowy drifts! ZYUOH TIGER! Champion of the world! ZYUOH THE WORLD! Animal Sentai, ZYUOHGER!

-A splendid rampage! AKA NINJA! The roaring clouds! AO NINJA! The shimmering calm! KI NINJA! A petal blowing in the wind! SHIRO NINJA! The wavering mist! MOMO NINJA! The colorful star! STAR NINJA! We may be shinobi, but we do not hide! We may be shinobi, but we party all night! Shuriken Sentai, NINNINGER!

-Instead of hiding, we awaken our instincts!

-And so it’s a big movie fight, with the matching pairs fighting these villain costumes gotten back out of storage! Of course, they’re tough…But the first one falls to Ao’s magic and Elephant’s raw strength! As Lion and Ki double-team their foe, Lion’s ferocious fighting spirit pushing him on as Ki brings out tricks from shinobi of old!

-And the girls all team up to take on this phantom of Bunglay, who gets run the fuck over with mechanical transformations, and eats a whole set of finishers! Even as a phantom, he’s tough.

-The World and Star have their hands pretty full, but still find time to take a selfie. The World made a new friend! Good for him. Now duck! ALL BEASTS UNLEASHED! The World kicks through their foe’s armor, and then flips him into the air, where Star’s got some Lightning Rock Star waiting to zap him! Now that’s a party.

-Oh and Aka and Eagle got firebombed. So they’re not having a great time. But Yoshiharu leaps in with his ninpou, trying to rescue them…He’s not letting his father fall, not here! And that’s when they’re joined, by…A sealing shuriken? It slashes against their greatest foe a few times, giving Eagle room to pull out a Gorilla’s strength, before the little shuriken falls into Yoshiharu’s hands…

-Forming into a new Aka Ninja Shuriken! The strength of his legacy…! You changed the script, kiddo! The power of the Super Sentai, and of shinobi, holds strong! This is what you’ve earned, come to aid you!

-And that’s when Aka’s father arrives, because the sealing shuriken leapt out from inside the house and he chased it all the way here and yeah that’s Kibaoni, their greatest foe, being fought by a gorilla. And this is your grandson from the future. He’s taking this surprisingly well. But, one stand together?

-One stand together! Three generations! AKA NINJA SHURIKEN! THE CHANGE! NIN NIN NIN! NIN NI NI NIN! Shuriken Change! RED! NINJAS!

-The slashing whirlwind! A splendid rampage! Fair weather today! AKA NINJAS! Past, present and future, forged into a crimson force! This is their fight now, Zyuohger! Get Girumaada! And as Gorilla bails out, they unleash wind, fire and lightning upon this phantom, and a triplet slash that cuts deep into his armor…

-Now, the triple finish! RED! RED! RED! NINJA! And the fight is won.

-While Gorilla corners Girumaada! When Naria arrived with Azald and Kubar to help…And Bard finds them.

-But SEIZA CHANGE! He’s met…By another red. A very lucky man. The luckiest man in the galaxy, Lucky! Also known as, Super Star! SHISHIRED!

-SEIZA CHANGE! Four more join him!Another Sentai team, huh—

-SEIZA CHANGE! They’re not five strong…They’re nine strong! Azald is confused, and Naria brings on the mooks. As you can imagine, it’s a big display of the next Super Sentai team and their grand skills. As you can also imagine, seeing how little I know of them, describing it in any detail is a bit difficult, especially with a nine man team. And honestly, all you need to know is they kill mooks real good and beat up the named villains because they’re the New Hotness.

-Oh and their finisher involves a star formation! GALAXY! They all bring their power into the center, and then blast it forward, as Azald eats it full force! Because you can kill a man who can reform. They are, the ultimate saviors! UCHUU SENTAI! KYUURANGER! Naria is mad, but has to call for a retreat…And hey, kids, remember to watch them when their season starts!

-And Bard implies that this team was actively manifested by the changing of history, born out of a twisting of time.

-But back to the actual movie, as everyone brings up overlapping finishers to destroy the phantoms! I, am not, trying to unpack all those narrator cries. And Gorilla is fighting Girumaada all on his own…But he is never truly alone. For he has his friends and loved ones at his back, the hopes of a future burning in his soul!

-And also?

-He’s got a fucking Whale.

-With arm cannon and blade both blazing with power, Whale delivers shots and slashes to Girumaada, before slamming that cannon into his gut and racking up a ZYUOH FINAL shot, up close and personal!

-Holy crap this guy’s still standing.

-…Fine. The others arrive, and everyone back him up! Full flow! ZYUOH NINNIN FINAL BAKURETSUHOU! FIRE! Can I just say how much it frustrates me that TV-Nihon still doesn’t translate attack names?

-Anyways Girumaada gets blown up and gobbles up some Continues that Naria gave him just in case and now he’s big. Are you surprised? Don’t be surprised.

-So what do you do with a giant villain? What do you do with a giant villain? Make a big mech and punch him down, early in the morning! Complete Animal Combination! King Shuriken Combination! WILD TOUSAI DODEKA KING! KING SHURIKENJIN!

-The problem is he’s really big even compared to them. So this is not an ideal situation to be in. Bug they’ll just have to go all in! KING HATENKOU GIRI! ZYUOH DODEKA SHOT! The finishers go out…Aaaand accomplish nothing. Because of course.

-So how’re they going to get out of this one, as Girumaada’s vines ensnare them and start banging them together like a rowdy child’s action figures? Their mechs shatter, all twelve are sent to the ground, full of despair…Oh no! What can be done?!

-And that’s when Yoshiharu’s shrunken dives in, and with 40 years of legacy, the shuriken forms a shield…And for a split moment? A vision.

-The teams are met…By the 38 Reds who have stood at the precipice of disaster before them. You are not alone, heroes. You have never been alone. The Earth and all its smiles are not in your hands alone to protect…You ave guided by a legacy, by the past to protect the future! Take their strength, their honor, and fight for the justice they forged!

-The vision is done, as Girumaada’s attack is repelled…And now? To bring it all together! And forge Wild Tousai SHURIKEN KING! Twelve strong! It might be small, but with the power of ninpou fueling it, this mech can punch and take punches well above its weight class! But they can’t hold this for long…They’ve got to finish it fast! Drive the spear home, and…!

-As one, as a singular force! With the strength of all their predecessors at their back, and all of their descendants waiting for them still! They are joined by the strength of countless mechs, as it all comes out in a single glorious beam to cut Girumaada down! It is DONE!

-And then, as soon as it came, that power is gone…To await the next time they are needed, when one or even two teams aren’t enough…

-In the aftermath, Yoshiharu has to return to his own time, to see the man his father becomes with time to live…And after a big farewell, he’s gone in a flash of ninpou, to return to his own time.

-Which is when Tusk realizes…How could Yoshiharu exist if Takaharu’s supposed to have been dead by now?

-…So…Here’s the thing…

-You WHAT?! And not even his own family knew! His sister and his father didn’t get to be at the wedding?! Yamato, after being stepped on, quietly despairs at the absurd handful that is this pack of shinobi. His own crew is so much easier to deal with than this. Also it seems Misao and Kinji are gonna start hanging out more off-camera, which is really, really good. I’m super happy for him, legitimately.

-And Takaharu immediately latches onto the idea of hanging out and going camping again because that stops the argument and Yamato just has to run after this gaggle of heroes before they get into even more trouble.

-Credits!

Well, it had its problems, but that managed to be a good bit more fun than I was expecting. Really, the only problem with it is how shoe-horned in the legacy stuff was, especially for the higher budget and runtime that a movie should get. They kind of did the legacy stuff better in the 2000th episode special, and those were just, like, TV episodes.

Also I can already tell the Kyuurangers are gonna frustrate me real bad if/when I do that season. They were a little much in the two minutes we got with them here.

But hey, movie’s done, so we can get back to the story arc next time, in episode THIRTY NINE of Animal Sentai Zyuohger! Wait for it!