#got my whole art groove back thanks to her

[emil1863]

she's so girly

[fantasyandshit]

My girl

Pairing: Nesta x fem!reader

Type: Request oneshot

Based on this request

Masterlist here

———

A/n- I want to apologize for my absence, life has been very busy recently and I’ve had some serious writers block. But I’m back and gonna try really hard to get back into the groove of everything.

I adjust the neckline of my dark blue dress as I stare in the mirror attached to Nesta and I’s room. The dress is absolutely gorgeous, hugging my curves in all the right places, it’s a halter top, wrapping up and around my neck….but it’s just very…revealing. The neckline dips down to the base of my ribs, and a slit runs up each side, up to the top of my thighs. Nothing is left to the imagination as even the back is non existent. I feel bare to the world.

Finally, after a few more moments, I leave our room, making my way to the stairs. As I reach the top of the stairs case I pause for a moment, peaking behind a wall to see all of my family waiting for me, conversing with one another. They are al stunning as usual, dressed in blacks, deep purples and dark blues.

But Nesta

Fuck

Nesta looks drop dead fucking gorgeous. She wears a sparkling black dress, similar in stile to mine, however it’s only got one slit going up her right leg, stopping up her hip, something in me stirs at that- she’s mine and basically on full display. I let it go, my eyes catching on the swell of her breasts, partially visible due to the deep v-neck cut, a gold chain connecting the two sides.

I take another deep breath before finally stepping out from my hiding spot, slowly stepping down the stairs. “You look amazing Yn.”

“Thank you Rhys.”

As I meet the bottom of the stairs I turn to my mate, “You look absolutely divine my love.” Nesta voice is as smooth as velvet, traveling to my ears like a Melodie in the night. I reach forward, my hands meeting her hips.

“Have you looked in a mirror lately? You look like the prized piece of art in a museum, like the night sky and a field of flowers in the spring. You’re gorgeous darling.”

She smiles, her lips meeting mine softly, “you’ve always had your way with words haven’t you dove.” I smile at this, she’s always been quite the flirt.

“Ok love birds can we get going now?” We, begrudgingly, separate. Mor and Nesta take my hand, Feyre taking Rhys’ and cassian, and Amren taking Azriel’s, the three of us winnowing everyone to the autumn court.

Eris had officially become high lord, filling killing of Beron, and that meant a celebration had to be held. We land in the middle of the ball room, making an entrance as always.

“Ah Rhysand. You finally made it!” Eris throws his hands out in greeting, stepping down the dais to meet us. He shakes hands with everyone, all of us bowing to each other. “Well, enjoy. There’s wine and music, food and entertainment. The night is young and,” he pauses, turning up and projecting his voice for all to hear, “We. Are. Free!” I’ve never seen the young lord so care free, but it seems that with the burden of his father gone from the court, the air is clearer, the leaves brighter and the lights blinding.

Everyone cheers, high lords from every court, their guests, and the whole of the autumn court here to celebrate the new ruler.

Nesta wraps a hand around my waist, keeping me to her side as we mingle about the ball.

After some time, I decide to grab myself and my mate a glass of wine, I tap her as she speaks to a young female from winter and she turns her head to me. “I’m going to go grab us some drinks. I’ll be right back ok.”

She hesitates for a moment before sighing, releasing her hold on me, “ok. But be careful.”

I chuckle softly, nodding before reaching up to give her a kiss. I make my way to the bar, a soft smile planted on my lips as I wait for the bartender to get our drinks poured.

“Well hello there pretty lady.” A slimy voice hits me as a hand comes to my ass.

I spin, slapping the male across the face, “Get the hell off of me!”

“Oh come on. Don’t be such a brat. I just wanna have some fun.” He’s smirking, one hand rubbing the red molar I’ve left on his cheek.

“No. You’re a fucking creep, get the fuck away from me. My mate will be over here, and she won’t be so kind as to simply slap you across your greasy face. Do you understand?”

He chuckles a disgusting, wheezing laugh before moving back to trying to grab me, “Ooh, so two females, I can’t wait.”

Just then, he’s ripped from me, thrown to the floor. The music stops as he yelps. “You leave my mate alone. Do you understand, if you do not stay the hell. Away. From my mate. I will personally people the flesh from your bones and burn you slowly on a spick.”

He gulps, looking as if he’s about to cry as he nods frantically. Just then, Eris and two guards come forward, dragging him from the hall.

“I am so sorry ladies. He will be properly dealt with. I will make sure of it.”

I nod softly, ��thank you Eris.”

I swear I hear a hiss leave Nesta, her hand finds its old place around me, “we’re leaving, take us home please darling.”

I nod softly, winnowing the two of us to the house of wind.”

Even after we land, Nesta refuses to let me go, fuming. “Nesta. Nesta it’s ok. Everything is ok.”

“No. No. Nothing is ok. His hands were on you. He touched you. He touched you and your mine.” She looks at me with furrowed brows and pinched lips.

“It’s ok now. You protected me. You got me out. It’s ok now.” I hug her tightly, kissing her softly as her hands relax in my hips. “It’s ok.” I breathe out.

—————

Sooo how was it for my first Nesta fic? I hope I did ok!

Love y’all, thanks for reading!

[themotherofhorses]

heey vic! :D

i just started following u & i just wanna say how much i adore your series 'just like animals' & 'last of her house no more' .. they're phenomenally written and so addictive to read ! ♡

i was just wondering if you'd like to check out some of my writing concepts? …(totally ok if u don’t)—i saw u reblogged the first one that i posted on this new blog (my old blog got shadow banned) ..</3

..but anyways, i'm also thinking about starting to write longer oneshots & not just concepts... i was just wondering if u had any advice? i wrote a few oneshot imagines on my old blog, but idk.…..it's just really hard for me to commit to writing something longer atm, y'know? anyways, i love ur whole blog & your writing & i’m gonna go reread 'just like animals' & wait patiently for the next part ! ♡

best wishes, xoxo.

heeelllloooo my little love

your words made me so soft and blushy, ily. and the concepts i reblogged earlier i ADORED ! like those modern!aemond w an innocent!reader ones? art. absolutely beautiful. loved it. i look forward to seeing and reading what else you give us <3

as for any advice? okay so this is what helps me a lot in staying productive and motivated (aka my writing routine when i tackle my prompts):

whenever i receive requests or think up new fic ideas of my own, i instantly write them down in my goodnotes notebook. from there, i tweak and outline, trying to figure out what i like and don't like. i think of titles, scenes, dialogue, all that jazz. and perhaps this is so silly, but i use my college essay strategy (introduction, body, and conclusion) CAUSE THAT HELPS SO MUCH! trust me on this, it makes it a shit ton easier. sometimes i start on the body and other times the introduction- whatever feels easiest for me. also, whenever you're working on a larger fic, at times, i find it best to write the part(s) where you have the most ideas and energy, and then gradually branch out.

throw out a rough draft, like a really ugly and shitty base. leave it alone for a day and then work on polishing it. it is much better to approach your writing with a fresh and clearer mind. and if you're feeling less committed to it, move on to something new and come back to it later on!

there is absolutely no use in forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do. nope. not at all. it just ruins everything.

for when i start to lose motivation (or begin to feel that stupid writer's block), i usually pull up a book to read. for my aemond fics, i'll typically reread fire and blood or one of the books in the asoiaf series. i don't know why but reading grrm's writing style fills me with a sudden rush of motivation and encouragement to write for this sexy one-eyed pathetic meow-meow bastard.

(okay well that and i'll go back to all my previous fics and reread y'all's comments, cause receiving comments from y'all is the best fucking fuel EVER.)

my love, my best advice is to find your own writing style. your own groove. as cliche as this sounds, writing is a form of art, and every artist has their own way of creating such. it is what makes us unique. play around, read some books, listen to music, talk to your mutuals (@chainsawsangel is my muse. love you bestie. everyone say thank you cause she constantly motivates my ass to write), and practice until it feels natural to you. think of your followers kicking up their feet in the air while reading your work. how excited they will be when they see you posted something new. "YAY, SHE POSTED!!!"

and if you ever need to bounce around ideas or plan how you wanna write a certain fic, don't feel shy- message me! i'd be happy to talk and help you out. this goes out to everyone.

i love y'all.

[biglisbonnews]

Shea Couleé Breaks the Mold on 'MATERIAL' Shea Couleé is breaking the mold.Fresh off a historic run on RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars, Couleé has already released her debut album 8 and joined pop star Betty Who on tour. She's just dropped a new music video for her track "MATERIAL," with looks and a musical range that continue to push the boundaries set for artists that come up through the world she's so clearly blossomed outside of.Couleé's fashion evolution is particularly riveting. Whether she's in Pierpaolo Piccioli’s Valentino Fall 2019 Couture collection or a Christopher John Rogers number, there's a palpable air of tension and wonder over what it is she might do next. "MATERIAL" is no exception, which sees Couleé groove in front of and inside a camcorder and wall of shimmering CDs. There's one particular look from Bcalla and Destroyer of Worlds that will make any connoisseur burn with envious excitement — a spiked moto jacket and puffer skirt I have half the mind to go emulate myself. Sonically, "MATERIAL" continues in the vein of 8's other singles, "Let Go" and "Your Name." With inspirations like Janet Jackson, Shalamar and Crystal Waters, the track is groovy and soulful, with beats that underscore Couleé's rich vocals and savvy lyrical instincts. Like "Call it ‘Blackout'/ Cuz they're screaming 'gimme more,'" which will surely be stuck in my head for weeks.But Couleé's range isn't just limited to an unprecedented number of successful runs on RuPaul's Drag Race or a hit single. She's also gearing up for her own tour in the UK later this year, The Lipstick Ball, a continuation of her short film Lipstick City. Most notably, she was also cast in Marvel's upcoming Ironheart series on Disney+, which made her the first queen in the canon to cross over to the MCU. Even the sky itself is not the limit for Couleé, and she's only just started. Check out our interview with Couleé — and the PAPER premiere of "MATERIAL" — below.Congrats on the "MATERIAL’ video! What were some of your visual references and inspirations for this latest visual?Thank you! My visual references for the video were Blaque’s “808,” TLC’s “No Scrubs,” Missy Elliott’s “The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly),” and Aaliyah’s “We Need A Resolution.”You’ve mentioned that the musical DNA of this album and run of singles — including "MATERIAL" — have been influenced by Chaka Khan, Shalamar and even Kylie Minogue. How do you feel you’ve evolved sonically since "Cocky" dropped in 2017?Looking back, it's funny because “Cocky” was a joke. I was playing around, I wanted to go in the studio and talk shit and I had no intention of ever releasing it as a single. I started playing it for people and everyone was asking, “When are you going to drop this song?” For fun, I ended up dropping the song and it really blew up. I saw the reaction that the fandom had to it and thought, maybe I should consider doing music more seriously. That's where it all started. The seed got planted with “Cocky” and from there, I wanted to explore. Not only with hip-hop and writing bars for rapping but also to work on melody and harmony and singing. I wanted to explore writing songs about love and infatuation and struggle and all of those other things, the real emotions that we deal with on a day-to-day basis. Not everyone feels cocky every day. It takes a lot to be that delusional... you know what I’m saying? I wanted to explore and share more parts of my personality outside of my confidence. I feel like my brand is so deeply rooted in this sense of confidence that I have around myself and around my art and I wanted to open up and become more vulnerable through my music. That's definitely where, especially as my writing is concerned, I've evolved. I’ve put my whole heart and soul into developing myself as a writer to show that not only can I perform the songs, but I can write them, too.It’s been so exciting to witness your continued fashion evolution both on and off Drag Race. I gagged over your conversation with Christopher John Rogers in Interview. How have your recent forays into the fashion world inspired your work on this latest album and crafting your visuals?I feel like a lot of my aesthetic in drag earlier on has been an exploration of a lot of classic Black beauty, the golden Hollywood era and '90s supermodel references. Through this music project and my recent forays into fashion, I wanted to explore more underground and alternative themes. Everything that I've done has been through the lens of things that can be easily digested, things that feel commercial and more so, generally, beautiful. Now, I'm getting into a lot of futuristic, cyberpunk, Afro-grunge, underground, raver aesthetics. You can expect to see more of that coming from me in the future.You just kicked off your tour with Betty Who, which must be such a rush. I read an interview last year where you said that you’ve been “going out and performing other people’s music in front of audiences” for much of your career, so how did that first performance feel? (With a new album out no less!)It’s a billion times more fun than I ever imagined. I said to myself, “Oh my god, this is why people do this!” Honestly, it’s amazing to look out into a crowd and see and hear people singing the words that you wrote in a living room on a regular Wednesday afternoon. To see people singing your songs back to you and see the way that the words that you wrote connect with them, that they mean something to them, that they feel something when they hear it, it’s absolutely incredible. You get to see the effects of your writing in real-time. It makes it that much easier to open up and be vulnerable with audiences and share more of yourself because you've already opened up to them through your music. Having the ability to be in a room live with these fans and sharing the experience together, is really wonderful. I have ear monitors on when I'm performing so I can't really hear the audience that much because they're noise canceling, but I was performing at the Austin show and I could hear the audience singing “Your Name” back to me. I got kind of choked up because I realized, Oh, they're singing this song. They’re really singing this song... with me.It all feels so cool because with every new thing, every new venture, every new, major moment, I always check back in with my younger self. I think about all the days that I dreamed of doing something like this. To be actually out here doing it and to feel so much love and support for simply being myself and doing what I love, it feels absolutely incredible. What can fans expect to see from you on this tour, and will you get to build on that for The Lipstick Ball later this year?What people can expect from this tour is to see the foundation that I'm laying for The Lipstick Ball. This is an abridged version of what you can expect to see of the fully realized set. I’m getting more and more confident with performing live with every single show. I can feel my confidence in my singing, in my performance, and in my stage presence. Just know that The Lipstick Ball is an even more enriched version of the set that I'm doing now on the BIG! Tour. People can expect an experience that will be a high-energy, fun, drag underground pop performance. With the news that you were cast in Marvel’s upcoming Ironheart show, it’s clear that you’re breaking the mold of what people conceive of as a drag artist. What things have you learned about yourself and your art as you expand into new projects?What I'm learning about myself and my drag in this process is that the sky is truly the limit of what is possible. Drag is such a specific niche type of art form that has come into more commercial popularity versus being so very underground and niche. With these opportunities, I've realized that life is not a dress rehearsal. I only have this one chance. I owe it to myself to go after every single dream, every single desire. When you do put yourself out there, you can make it happen. You can absolutely make these things happen. Especially in this last year, I've seen the manifestations of all of these things. It sounds so corny, but I really encourage everybody to go after their dreams. There are definitely going to be moments where you don't feel so cocky, you don't feel so confident, where you're actually super scared and terrified. But that lets you know that you're doing something right. Through that, you can experience so much tremendous growth and build your confidence even more by doing something that you didn't know or think was possible. By putting yourself out there and exercising a little bit of faith, it's overwhelming the number of things that you can achieve when you put your mind to it.When I'm having a moment where I'm not feeling confident, I immediately check in with myself and ask myself, “Why am I feeling this way?” Most of the time I realize the reason why I don't feel confident is because the thing that I don't feel confident in is something that feels unknown or unfamiliar. That is an opportunity for me to learn. Every lesson is a gift. If I remind myself that this is a learning opportunity, an opportunity for me to expand my horizons and that I can grow from it, then being uncomfortable is all part of the process and I have to work through it. When I get to the other side and look back, I will be so much more fulfilled and happy with the fact that I took a leap of faith and invested in myself. If you're going to invest and take a risk on anybody, invest in yourself. Creative direction and photography: Nicolas MarchalEditing: Jan-Balthasar SchliephackPhoto assistant: Tara WhiteLocation: Peerspace https://www.papermag.com/shea-coulee-material-premiere-2659491819.html

[tricksters-captain]

Bucky Barnes Imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 3

Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.  

In this chapter: After finding Sharon in Madripoor, you learn about the creator of the soldier serum (Based on S1 EP3)

(PART 1) (PART 2)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 3,457

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 3, violence, strong language.

Once you arrived at Sharon’s you were itching to get out of the costume Zemo cooked up for you. 

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well.” Sam gawked at Sharon’s place which was full of art work and collectables. 

“I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler. You know how much I’ll get for a real Monet?” Sharon shrugged as she lead you through her gallery. 

“Easy...Deactivate your hustle mode. You sell fake Monets.” Sam didn’t believe her as he stared at the artwork. 

“No. She means real. This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” Zemo defended Sharon as he followed her.

“It’s true. You know, half the artwork in museums like the Louvre is fake. Real stuff sits in places like this.” Bucky informed Sam. 

“Okay, guys, I see what you’re doing. You’re more worldly than good old Sam.” Sam pulled out his phone and started searching a nearby paining. 

“Yeah. What’s Google say?” Bucky teased him for it. 

“No shit.” Sam muttered as the realisation hit him. 

“You guys need to change. I’m hosting clients in an hour.” Sharon beckoned you along to which you were silently thankful for. 

Sharon was kind enough to let you look through her vast collection of clothes until you picked out something you liked. 

“Hey... You okay?” You asked softly. 

You and Bucky were alone with your backs to each other as you changed in one of Sharon’s many rooms.

“I’m fine.” Bucky replied quietly. 

You knew he wouldn’t be fine after having to act like the winter soldier again. You watched him at that bar. He didn’t hold back when he attacked those men. 

“Buck, you know you can’t lie to me.” You tried to keep it light but Bucky wasn’t having it. 

“I’m not.” 

You didn’t push.

“Hey, will you zip me up?” You asked after stepping into your dress. You didn’t turn but you could hear Bucky’s footsteps as he approached you. 

You felt the cold of his fingers brush against your back as he slowly zipped up the dress. 

You turned when the zip reached the top. 

“Thanks.” You whispered. 

Bucky’s eyes were burning through you as he admired your choice of dress. 

“You look beautiful.” Bucky murmured, his eyes taking in every detail. 

“You scrub up quite nicely yourself.” You smiled as you admired Bucky in the suit Sharon had given him. You couldn’t deny the butterflies in your stomach as you thought about a possible normal circumstance Bucky could wear something like this. Like a date. 

“Come on.” Bucky took your hand and lead you to the door that would take you back to the others. 

“It’s alright. I’m gonna sort my hair out. Running through Low-town didn’t exactly do it any favours.” You retracted your hand and returned to the mirror. Bucky hesitated didn’t question you. 

“What’s going on with you and Bucky?” Sharon’s voice filled the room as you  heard the door open again. “Thought the two of you’d be together by now.”

“We’re coworkers. We’ve always been coworkers.” You were wary of Sharon’s new found attitude.

“Oh please. You two have wanted to jump each others bones the whole time I've known you.” Sharon rolled her eyes at you as she slump down on the love seat beside you.

You remained silent as you brushed through your hair. 

“Oh come on.” Sharon rolled her eyes. “You two have never?” 

“No.” You said almost too quickly. 

“Well it’s only a matter of time. I don’t know why you are dragging it out so long.” Sharon sighed dramatically as she picked at the fabric on the settee. 

“I don’t know why everyone is so invested in mine and Bucky’s relationship.” You spun around to face her. “You. Sam. Steve. You all poke and prod but you don’t take into consideration all the factors.”

“No you don’t take into consideration that there’s only so much time before one day you’re shot or killed or you have to go on the run and never see him again. You need to grow some balls, (y/n).” Sharon didn't bother sticking around after that. 

You groaned and closed your eyes. 

When you finally decided to rejoin the group, they were discussing Sharon’s status in Madripoor.

“What’s going on, Sharon? You don’t ever wanna come back home?” Sam asked as he put on a shirt. 

“They’ll lock me up if I step foot back in the States. Madripoor doesn’t allow extradition.” Sharon replied pretty matter-of-factly as she walked over to her desk. 

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call, but after the Blip and the chaos, I just––” Sharon cut Sam off before he could explain himself. 

“––Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right? The way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know it’s all hypocrisy. 

“He knows. And not so deep down.” Zemo felt the need to jump in. 

“By the way, how is the new Cap?” Sharon asked.

“Don’t get me started.”Bucky grumbled.

“Please. You buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit. Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.” Sharon smirked as she sat down beside Bucky.

“Wow. She’s kind of awful now.” Bucky said as he looked over at you.

“Karli Morgenthau and at least seven others have taken the serum.” You took the initiative to change the topic back to the reason you were here in the first place. 

“You guys really should steer clear of all of this for your own safety.”Sharon warned you as she shook her head. 

“We know it’s a risk, but we won’t leave until we find the one who cracked the code.” Sam took the chair beside Sharon as he spoke. 

“We got a name. Wilfred Nagel.” Bucky told her. 

“Nagel works for the Power Broker.” Sharon informed you as she stood to pour herself a drink. 

“We need your help, Sharon. I can get your name cleared.” Sam offered. 

“You haggling with my life?” Sharon smirked again.

“Not like that.” Sam shook his head. 

“I don’t buy that. You pretending like you can clear my name.” Sharon leant back against her bar. 

“Okay, maybe it is hypocrisy. Maybe you’re right. What happened to you. But I’m willing to try if you are. They cleared the bionic staring machine, and he killed almost everybody he’s met.” Sam approached her with his good old puppy dog eyes. 

“I heard that.” Bucky frowned, unimpressed by Sam’s use of example. 

“I don’t trust charity.” Sharon sighed. 

“All right, a deal then. You help us out, and I get your name cleared.” Sam offered his hand. 

“Well, I sell to some pretty connected people. Lay low, blend in, enjoy the party. Try to stay outta trouble. I’ll see what I can find.” Sharon took the deal. 

The party seemed to suddenly start. 

Within minutes the whole place was jam packed. Music suffocated the space and the smell of sweat and alcohol was growing.

You stayed in between Sam and Bucky as you walked single file through the gathering. You reached back and linked fingers with Bucky’s to make sure you didn’t get parted in the crowd. 

As the bar came into view, you felt a hand grab your ass. 

“Hey!” Bucky took hold of the stranger and slammed him against the nearest wall. Holding him by the throat. 

Sam was there to diffuse the situation in a second. He placed a. hand on Bucky’s shoulder to pull him away. 

“Lay low remember.” Sam repeated what Sharon had told everyone over the blaring music. 

Bucky released the creep and stepped back. 

That gave you enough space to send your own punch. The man cried out, sliding down the wall and cradling his gushing nose. 

“Looks like she does not need help.” Zemo chimed in. 

You all left the guy without drawing too much attention to yourselves. 

The music wasn’t exactly your taste and you knew that it definitely wasn’t Bucky's but that didn’t stop you from taking him away from Sam and Zemo. 

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked you. 

“Got a bit boring just standing there, no?” You smirked. 

“You can’t expect me to dance to this, can you?” Bucky grimaced at the pulsing beat that classified as music. 

“You can try.” You smirked as you brought yourself closer to the man. 

You moved your body to the music, smiling widely him as he awkwardly tried to sway to it. 

“I thought you were a good dancer?!” You teased Bucky as you watched him. 

“I was!” Bucky defended himself. “When the music was Louis Armstrong and Glenn Miller!” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at the man before wrapping your arm around his neck. 

“You gotta move a bit more like this.” You tried to show him, taking his hand and placing it on your hip. 

Bucky was starting to look a little less like a grandpa as he got into the groove of it. 

His eyes were locked on you, a small smile on his lips. He looked undeniably handsome. 

“I think you’re getting it.” You leant up by his ear to tell him. 

“Well, we can’t look any worse than Zemo.” Bucky pointed through the crowd where Zemo was dancing. 

You burst into laughter at the sight of the war criminal dancing and buried your face into Bucky’s neck. Bucky laughed next to your ear. It was a rare genuine sound that sent tingles through your head. 

“Come on.. Let’s get some water.” You left the dance floor and rejoined Sam by the bar where he had started to speak to some other guests.

Sharon approached you a little while later with some good news and so you all immediately left the party. 

“Madripoor could give New York a run for its money.” Sam stated as you arrived at the location of Nagel. 

“They know how to party.” Zemo agreed. 

You followed Sharon through the shipping container yard as she searched for the right one.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving.” Sharon stopped and pointed over to a red container. “All right. He’s in there. Container four-two-six-one. I’ll watch while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on borrowed time.”

“You want me to stick around out here with you in case you run into trouble?” You asked her as you all took an ear piece. 

“I’ll be alright. I’ll call if I need any back up.” Sharon dismissed your offer before walking away. 

You all entered the container cautiously before Sam contacted Sharon. 

“Hey, Sharon. You sure this is the right one? It’s completely empty.” He was right. To the eye, it was empty. 

“Positive. It has to be.” Sharon replied. 

You shared a look between Sam and Bucky as Zemo felt around the. back of the container. 

Suddenly, it shifted and a hidden door opened. 

Soft music played from below along with a muffled voice. 

It has to be Nagel. 

Sam, Bucky and you all went in armed. 

You silently negotiated between each other which urged Sam to go ahead and cut the music. Nagel spun around at the intrusion. 

“Dr. Nagel?” Sam inquired. 

“Who are you? What do you want?” The man wasn’t intimidating and didn't seem to have any weapons around him but you had learnt in the past not to underestimate your opponent.

“We know you created the super-soldier serum.” Sam informed him. 

“Get out of my lab.” Nagel demanded pretty boldly considering Sam was the one with the gun. 

“Hey! You know who he is, right?” Sam asked as he caught the shocked look on Nagel’s face at the sight of Bucky.  This is Baron Zemo. I know you’ve heard of him, too, right? You seem like a pretty smart guy. So you better become conversational real quick.”

“How about a counter proposal? Make me a better offer and I’ll talk.”Nagel smirked. 

“Guys, we have company.” Sharon’s voice whispered through the ear piece. “Every bounty hunter in the city is here. We gotta go.” 

“I’ll go up.” You lowered your gun from Nagel and went to turn when Sam stopped you. 

“No, we might need you.” Sam meant he might need your powers. 

“But...” You gestured to your ear. 

“She didn’t ask for back up.” Sam argued. 

You sighed but listened to Sam. 

Bucky moved Nagel over to a chair. He held his gun to the man’s temple. 

“Here’s your counter offer.” Bucky shot next to Nagel’s head which worked wonders to make him talk. 

“Okay. Okay. I was brought into HYDRA’s Winter Soldier program to pick up their work after the five failed test subjects in Siberia. When HYDRA fell, I was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples from an American test subject with semi-stable traces of serum in his system. After much labor, I was able to isolate the necessary compounds in his blood. I was a god. I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do. But mine was going to be different. No clunky machines or jacked up bodies. Mine was going to be subtle, optimized, perfect.”

“How have we never heard about this?” You asked, your eyes flicking over at Sam. 

“Because… Before I was able to complete my work, I turned to dust. Then when I returned, it was five years later, program had been abandoned, so I came here. The Power Broker was more than happy to fund the recreation of my work.” Nagel explained. 

“How many vials did you make?” Sam asked. 

“Twenty. Karli Morgenthau stole those, so I can only imagine what the Power Broker has planned for that poor girl.” 

“Where’s Karli now?”You stepped forward, rolling up your sleeve as a warning.

“I don’t know where she is. But a couple of days ago, she called and asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.” You took a mental note of the name Nagel mentioned. 

“Well, what happened to her?” You pushed

“Not my pig. Not my farm.” Nagel shrugged. 

You looked back at Sam with a look asking if you should check if he's telling the truth but Sam shook his head. 

“Is there any serum in this lab?” Bucky asked. 

Nagel sent Bucky a deep glare but Bucky’s gun brought forth the answer. 

“No.”

“Now what?” Bucky asked you and Sam. 

“Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” Sharon bursted in, looking a little battered. 

All of a sudden, Zemo pulled a gun out and shot Nagel. 

“No!” Sam cried out

You lunged forward and reached for the man’s arm. If you could catch his final moments of life leaving his body you could still get the memories but as you hand touched his skin all you saw was darkness. 

You screamed as you went blind. 

You felt a pair of hands pull you up from the ground to which you could only assume was Bucky. 

“What did you do?!” Sharon gasped at Zemo’s action. 

“I can’t see, Buck.” You felt your whole body go limp in his arms as you muttered those final words before you passed out. 

When you felt your eyes open again, you were out of the container. Gun shots were muffled in your eyes as you heard Bucky and Sam arguing. 

You were covered in dust and you didn’t have your gun. 

“Where’s my gun?” You asked. That’s when the boys realised you were awake. 

You only managed to crawl over to Bucky to take it from him and start to fire. 

Your aim was off from how exhausted you were but the adrenaline was there enough for you to get a good few shots in. 

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked you as the firing stopped. Zemo was busy taking out the remaining bodies so it gave you time to sit back again. 

“Not really.” You shook your head. Your body felt cold and darkness still clouded the corners of your vision. It’s what happened when you tried to get the memories from a dead body, all you could see and feel is death. Your powers only worked on living people or people close to death. 

“Come on.” Bucky lifted you up, tucking his arm underneath you to keep you steady on your feet. 

You only lasted being half dragged/half running before Bucky picked you up. You hated being carried but this was a life or death situation. 

“Buck!” Sam shouted as some more bounty hunters appeared. Bucky put you down and you fell against the container door as he used a broken off pipe to fight them off. 

“Let’s go!” Sam tugged you both inside.

Bucky kicked open the back of the container so you could escape, only for you to be met by Zemo in a swanky getaway car. 

“Supercharged.” Zemo gestured to his ride. 

“You’re going back to jail.” Sam told Zemo. 

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” Zemo asked. 

“He’s right. We need him.” You tried to speak but your throat was hoarse. 

“And there’s only three of us, and at least 20 of them.” Bucky added. 

“Fine. But if you try that shit again...” Sam warned him. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Zemo stated. Not that he was to be trusted. 

Sam helped you into the back seat. There was concern painted across his face. 

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” Sharon sighed as she placed her hands on the car. 

“Come back to the States with us.” Sam tried to persuade her. 

“I can’t. Just get me that pardon you promised me.” Sharon reminded him of the deal they made. 

“Thanks for everything.” Sam nodded. “You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?”

“No.” Bucky shook his head. 

You laughed weakly as you remembered the same conversation back when Steve was still around. 

Back on Zemo’s plane, you took a position on the small couch with Bucky. You were resting your eyes but trying to stay awake as you listened to the boys talk. 

“Donya Madani. She’s a refugee, yeah.” Sam had contacted Torres about the woman Nagel had mentioned. “Call me if you get a hit. --- Thanks, Torres.”

“You okay?” Bucky asked Sam as Sam slouched down.  

“Yeah. Just thinking about all the shit Sharon had to go through. And Nagel referring to the American test subject like Isaiah wasn’t even a real person. Just makes me wonder how many people have to get steamrolled to make way for this hunk of metal.”

“Well, it depends on who you ask. That hunk of metal saved a lot of lives.” Bucky looked up from cleaning his hand. 

“Yeah, I get that. All right. Maybe I made a mistake.” Sam confessed. 

“You did.” Bucky agreed with that statement and so did you but you kept your eyes closed. 

“Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t have put it in a museum. Maybe I should have destroyed it.” Sam didn’t say what you expected. 

“Look, that shield represents a lotta things to a lotta people, including me. The world is upside down, and we need a new Cap, and it ain’t gonna be Walker. So before you destroy it, I’ll take it from him myself.” Bucky turned to face Sam as he spoke. You felt the couch shift.

Sam then got a call with the information on Madani. 

“They found Madani… Dead. She died in Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea.”

“I have a place we can go. I, for one, am looking forward to coming face to face with Karli. Oeznik, we’re changing the course.” Zemo’s voice was the last thing you remembered before waking up at landing. 

“Hey sleepy head.” Bucky whispered quietly. He’d rather be caught dead than let Sam hear him say that. 

“Have we landed?” You asked as you rubbed your eyes. 

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded. “Come on.” 

It didn’t take too long to get to Zemo’s place but when you did, Bucky decided to break away. 

“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Bucky announced before you entered the building. 

“You good?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded as he stepped away. 

“Be careful.” You warned him. 

You knew Bucky needed his space sometime but now wasn’t the best time for him to just be wandering the streets. Especially if Walker clocks on it was you three that broke Zemo out of prison. 

“Always.” Bucky winked at you before finally leaving. 

But that was a bad feeling in your gut. 

(PART 4)

Bucky Barnes Tag List

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16@shannon-posts @darkbluenovember @sexwithhiddlesbatch@thefandomimagines @mydarkness-itsnotmyfriend @sad-huffle-nerd @glitchingghosts @themaddies-obx @avenging-parker @delilahsdaydream​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @purplewcrld​ @opheliaaaa​

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

Hold Me Tighter ||3||

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Peter and reader have a talk and Bucky overhears. 

Warnings: Swearing I think? A big of angst, fluff, Buck jumping to conclusions bc he’s a soft dummie...

A/N: Hej hej friends, it’s been a bit since i’ve posted something. My life has been wild and though i’ve been working on various things I have yet to complete said various things. Hopefully posting this gets me back into the groove. Please enjoy and give me feedback as its very much appreciated!! <3

Part ||1||   Part ||2||

~~~~~~

“Do you have an ace?” 

“Nope, go fish,” 

“Do you have a crush on Bucky?” 

You almost drop your hand full of cards on the ground as the words leave the man's mouth. 

“Wha-Peter!” 

“What? It kinda looks obvious, on both sides, but it’s like you guys or holding back or something,” Peter shrugs nonchalantly as he plucks a card from the deck before laying down another set of matches. 

You pout, “Why are you so good at this game?” 

“Answer my question first,” He laughs lightly while playfully nudging your shoulder with his fist. 

You and Peter had been the ones left at the tower while the team was on their latest mission. You felt grateful for the company, or at least you did before he started asking questions while he taught you how to play various card games. The pair of you sat facing each other, legs crossed and knees almost touching as the deck of cards sat in the middle. 

“I dunno… Maybe?” You could feel the fire in your cheeks and ears as you answered, forgetting to ask if Pete had a card and taking straight from the deck instead. 

Peter smiled widely and set down the few cards he still had, putting his full attention on you, “That’s great, Y/n! I think he likes you too! Why haven’t you guys gotten together yet? You spend like every day with each other when Bucky isn’t on a mission. He even cooks for you all the time and I’ve never seen him do that with anyone-” 

“Peter, it's not like that. I’m pretty sure he just thinks of me as like… A charity case or something. He’s helped me a lot since I’ve gotten here but it was solely because he felt obligated too. Kind of like when you find a puppy on the street,” You set your cards down to the side as well, using your free hands to nervously tangle your fingers together. 

“That's ridiculous! Y/n he calls you pet names all the time, he carries you around, I even saw him kiss your cheek before he left!” Peter points an accusatory finger at you. 

Your eyes widen in shock and you stutter before responding, “Why are you paying so much attention to us? It’s weird how much you notice...And besides, lately he hasn’t really been the same. He tells me that he’s always busy with training or meetings or something, and I get that it happens, especially with what you guys do! But it just feels like he’s been avoiding me lately,” 

“The whole team has noticed! You guys have done almost everything but make it official,” The man sighs exasperatedly before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours, a silly habit the two of you developed for serious conversations, making you giggle a bit before pushing back, “You should talk with him about it dude,”

You keep your forehead pressed against Pete's, sighing quietly before responding, “I just think… If he doesn’t feel the same way, then everything is going to change. He won’t want to spend time with me anymore, or talk to me, he won’t wanna watch movies with me… He just- he won’t be able to think of me as more than just the silly mutant that’s been obsessed with him for as long as she’s known him,” Your face had scrunched up into a scowl as you thought about what life would be like without Bucky by your side. 

“Hey, hey, hey! He won’t do that, I promise. Bucky isn’t like that, he’d never just start to ignore you or think of you as some obsessed girl. It’s obvious he cares about you a lot, and I think it would be good for both of you to talk about it,” 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start-”

“Start with how you feel, put it all out in the open,” Pete says confidently.

“That’s crazy!”

“How is it crazy?” 

“I can’t just go up to him and say, ‘Hey I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been deeply enthralled and have wanted to be with you since the first time we met!’” 

Peter was about to respond, but a deep voice interrupted, “Y/n?”

You and Pete pull your heads apart and gape at the tall brunette standing in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown and his eyes full of confusion. “Bucky I-” 

He puts a hand up before you can continue, “I um-I gotta go shower. Sorry I interrupted you guys,” 

You sat frozen on the floor as Bucky quickly made his exit, Peter switching his gaze between you and the now empty doorway. “Oh my god-” he muttered in absolute bewilderment.

“Wh-what just happened? What should I do? Oh my god he hates me! He’ll never speak to me again-” 

“No! No, no, no it’s fine! Just a misunderstanding! You need to go after him and clear it up,” Peter tells you, hurriedly standing up before grabbing your hands and helping you stand. “You need to tell him everything Y/n. *Everything.*” 

You nod your head in agreement, starting for the doorway, “Thanks pete, I’ll see you later,” 

Peter’s response doesn’t quite register as you quickly walk down the maze of hallways, trying to find the fastest possible route to Bucky’s room. Your heart felt like it was pounding hard enough to escape your chest. 

You let out a yelp as you suddenly hit a wall, “Oh hey kid, you seen Barnes yet? He was lookin for ya,” Tony’s hands are on each of your arms to steady you as he begins to ask how your week with Peter went. 

You can’t focus on any of his questions, solely focused on fixing the mess you had made. 

“Kid? You okay?” Tony steps closer to you, his overbearing father coming out as he reaches up to check your temperature, “hmm maybe we should get you to med, you feel a little hot,” 

“Tony I’m fine-” You try and back out of his grasp but he holds onto you firmly. 

“Hey if you’re gettin’ a fever we want to catch it quick-” 

“I don’t have a fever, please-” 

“C’mon, it’ll only take a minute,”

“Oh my god, goodbye!” You huff out before pushing Tony away from you and using your power to disappear from the hallway. 

Tony lets out an annoyed sigh, “If you get anyone else sick you’re the one who’s taking care of them!” he shouts into the empty space. 

You however, had already popped up outside of Bucky’s door, your hands clenched into fists of stress and nerves. Your right hand went to open the door but when you tried to twist the handle it didn’t budge. 

“Friday can you let me in?”

“Mr. Barnes has specified to not be bothered for the time being,” The AI responded simply. 

You let out a huff of frustration, “Okay well it’s either you unlock the door and let me in or I just pop up in there, so…”

There was a moment of silence before you heard the quiet click of the door unlocking, making you smile victoriously, “Thank you, Friday,” 

Bucky was still in the bathroom with the door closed when you had entered his room. You took a quick look around before deciding to sit on the bed and wait for him to be done. Your fingers began to tangle and pull at themselves in a stressful manner and you couldn’t help the tight feeling in your chest. It only got worse when you heard the running water turn off and the sound of Bucky drying and dressing himself. 

When Bucky opens the door, the both of you freeze in place, eyes locked on to each other for what felt like ages. 

Bucky is the first to break eye contact and move, “I thought I told Friday I didn’t want any visitors,” he mumbles quietly, going over to toss the damp towel in his hands into a laundry hamper.

“I uh- I told her I would just pop in anyways…” 

“Shouldn’t invade people's privacy like that, kid,” his cold tone made you cringe, “can’t start abusing your power like that,”

“Listen Bucky, I came here to explain-” 

“You don’t gotta explain anything to me. I saw what I saw, it’s not a big deal,” he interrupts you and avoids your eyes as he begins to unpack from his mission. 

“Except I think you might not understand entirely-” you begin only to be interrupted again. 

“No! No, I get it. Pete is a good kid, good morals, good background. I can see why you’d like him, it makes sense,” Bucky’s voice was clearly stressed as he spoke and it just made your chest tighten even more. 

“Bucky no-” 

“He’s closer to your age, you have a lot in common, spend a lot of time together…”

“Why is everyone interrupting me today?” you groan out in frustration before getting up off of the bed and walking over to the disgruntled man. 

You move to sit on the other side of the duffle bag he continues to empty, still avoiding your eyes. You let out a huff of annoyance and quickly grab hold of Bucky's hands, bringing them to a pause. 

“Kid, I gotta unpack-”

“No. Not until you let me say what I need to say. Without interrupting me,” You state firmly.

Bucky visibly clenches his jaw, giving you a small nod to continue, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter-” 

“Yes I di-” “What did I just say? No interruptions!” 

Bucky sighs, “Sorry,” 

You take another breath before restarting, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter. You heard me telling him about what I’d say to someone else,” 

Bucky’s face scrunches up in confusion as he replays your words in his head, trying to put the pieces together, but failing. “Who were you going to say-” 

“You! Ya big dummy. I was telling Peter what I would say to you,” You blurt out with a breath of exasperation. 

Bucky shook his head, as if to try and wake himself up from a daydream, “Are you serious?”

“Yes! Of course I am, Buck. I- Peter said that it would be good for the both of us if I admitted my true feelings for you, and I didn’t know what I would say, so he suggested that I just flat out tell you, and…” You trail off, hoping the older can figure out the rest on his own. 

“And that’s when I walked in? When you had figured out what exactly you’d say?” 

“More or less, yeah,” you answer quietly, giving Bucky’s hands a gentle squeeze to try and bring even more reassurance. 

“Why were you so close to each other?” You looked back up to Bucky, a smile gracing your features as his gaze finally met yours. 

“Because we were having a serious discussion. Isn’t that what everyone does?” You ask, brows slightly knit in confusion.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head, “No I think that’s only you two,” 

“Oh…” 

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, mulling over what you’d like to say next and trying to organize your thoughts. When Bucky didn’t say anything for a while you decided to continue on, “So um...Do you maybe uh-maybe do you feel the same way? About me?”

Bucky doesn’t even wait a beat to answer, “Oh my god yes! Yes I’ve felt the same way for ages, doll!” 

Your eyes widen in disbelief as you take in the new information, “You have?”

Bucky nods his head, a smile on his face as he looks into your eyes, “Sweetheart I’ve been head over heels for you since I first caught you in midair,” he chuckles. 

You grin at Bucky and feel the familiar flickering of your powers take place, knowing your emotions were much too strong to stop it. Within the blink of an eye you had popped out of existence and popped right back up into Bucky’s lap, making him fall over in a huff of laughter. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into the softness of his hair, “What gives then you goof? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Bucky wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a tight squeeze, “Once you started gettin’ the hang of your powers and began training with the rest of the team, I dunno… It felt like you didn’t need me there for you anymore, I didn’t want to risk holding you back from making new friends and connections,” Your heart split in two hearing Bucky’s explanation.

You pull your face out of his lovely smelling hair and stare into the soldier's pretty blue eyes, “That’s silly Bubba. You would never hold me back! You’re the reason why I’m so comfortable around everyone now. You gave me the strength to get out of my comfort zone,” Bucky grinned at your words and shook his head, mentally chiding himself for being so foolish. 

“M’sorry lovie, I guess I got in my own head about everything. Almost messed it all up too because I got so upset when I saw you and Peter,” Your chest swelled with happiness when he calls you one of your favorite nicknames, knowing the two of you were back to normal. 

“It’s okay! I can understand why you thought what you did. But I promise I’ve only ever been deeply enthralled with you,” You laugh and push your forehead up against Bucky’s, making him let out a deep melody of chuckles. 

“Does this mean I don’t have to hold back anymore? I can love on you as much as I want?” Bucky pairs his question with an affectionate nuzzle in the crook of your neck before looking back up into your gleeful eyes. 

You giggle and brush your nose up against his as you nod your head, “You coulda done that before,” 

Bucky’s hands move from around your waist to your thighs, easily lifting the both of you up from the plush carpet, “M’never lettin’ you go ever again. Gonna hold on real tight, sweet girl.” 

You keep your arms wrapped around his neck and try to pull Bucky closer, burying your face back into the crook of his neck and breathing him in. He moves the two of you over to his bed and flops down onto it, pulling the both of you under the covers and tangling his legs with yours. The two of you stay like that for what feels like ages.

A perfectly content tangle of happiness and relief. 

[dandaelions]

"feel my rhythm" album thoughts!

guess who has 2 presentations for work in the next 2 days ripppp but whatev rv is still my no. 1 priority 💗

this got quite long, so under the cut!

feel my rhythm:

okey dokey what is going on HERE

alright first of all, the first 15 or so seconds are just Sublime, lulling you into that gentle flow and causing you to relax - before that beat drops a dirty bomb over the whole thing. why TF is this so clinky clanky???? why???? the bach sampling is so beautiful and if you were to isolate the vocals with it, I think it would actually sound pretty nice but for some reason they overlaid those damn skirr skirr trap beats and bass boosted it into oblivion. I get they were trying to create this classical-hyperpop hybrid but I don't think this came together quite as cleanly as they has hoped. also enough finger snaps in bridges!!!! please sm tell me you have more up your producing sleeve than the 10 free effects that came with the trial software. otherwise I feel like the bridge actually sounds pretty decent? and don't even get me started on that key change in the final stanza oh my god!!!! why!!! key changes always feel like such a cop-out way of adding an extra 30 seconds to a song that already feels too long.

it feels like they were going for psycho v2 (but now on shrooms). which is a shame, I feel if they had maybe pitched the song down a few notches and added in some more subtle beats to actually complement the classical sample, this could've actually been really good. for a song called "feel my rhythm", there doesn't seem to be very much of it at all 😔

also note about the MV: DANGGGGGG it's so beautiful!! part of me wishes it was a bit more darker thematically but all the art references were sooo cleverly incorporated, plus I loveddd all the sets and outfits. ok, so in seulirene's "monster", seulgi corrupts irene and turns her evil. here, I think they are showing seulgi still being evil, except now she can also take the shape of a bird (seen in the epilogue). irene, dressed in black, is still evil from the "monster" MV, and is shown handing a basket of strawberries to a giant...mask-guy?? idk what that is lol 😅 joy is seen holding that mysterious red light in a cage, except it escapes. bird-seulgi gives the light to joy and we see her turn (thanks @littlesunshinedae for making the connection that her wings are actually the evil swooping in for her). yeri gets corrupted through that floating water thing (and leaves her egg to hang out with the birdy-people) and wendy gets corrupted with the rotten strawberry. they're all seen wearing black and sitting in a dark room, with their lighter counterparts in a garden. so now there's two versions of them?? at least that's what I got, anyone else find other things? also are birds supposed to symbolize anything...

rainbow halo: ok, 8-bit stomp n clap that's a vibe...ooohhh okkkkk that's a CRUNCHY bass line, v nice! oh yeah this is sounding slick! oh snap irene ok I see, love how she doubled up on that beat there. woooo love this synthy groove! did they add a freaking saxophone in the chorus omggggg. nice drop-off in the bridge, that's a satisfying build-up to the last stanza. ah ok like the stop-n-start. also pls bring this sax back for other songs, I think that's my fave element of this song! oooh this was so clean from start to finish, this is def going into their "velvet" portfolio!

anyone wishing that this is what they tried mixing into bach for "feel my rhythm"??

beg for me: OK!! OK!! that dirty dirty synth at the beginning 🥴

oh SHIZ that beat drop and then those vocal lines on top? HELLO?? THIS CHORUS???? dance for me work for me beg for me, I'll do it all!!! is that JOY coming in after the first stanza?? 😦 BRING OUT YOUR FREAK GUYYSSSSS IM !!!!!!!! these lyrics PHEW

this is It. nothing else to add.

BAMBOLEO: rv citypop?? is that you?????

retro enthusiasts, rejoice!!!! ofc you can't have a retro song without those boom boom space drums they did their research! oh WHOA that chorus, that modulation is soo interesting!! LOVE LOVE LOVE what they have going on here. oh nice guitar solo! THESE CHROMATIC HARMONIESSSSS OH GEEZZZZ im just blown rn honestly ram these instrumentals ** ** ***** idc anymore.

good, bad, ugly: oh very classy, this is so seg-c. looks like "automatic" had a glo-up! oh they all sound FANTASTIC, love these jazzy vibes, it suits them perfectly! "every day I just love me" DANG RIGHT'S RIGHT LADIES

in my dreams: oh those harmonies!! oh that drop! I was not expecting the bass to come in that strong! the instrumentals definitely convey the highs and lows of unrequited love. ohhhh I'm getting some aespa "lucid dreams" vibes. that symbol crashing during the chorus, like you’re screaming your love to the clouds!! this BRIDGE 👌👌👌 wow what a finish!! so beautiful and bittersweet :')

overall: the title track isn't feeling the rhythm, but the b-sides sure are. WOW I think these are some of the strongest songs they've put out in a while!! I'm so glad they got to showcase their "velvet" side in some of these quieter, more subtle songs. we got some showstoppers!!

[yespolkadotkitty]

So I read Elixir and I love how you write sex pollen and I was wondering if you could do one for our other federal agent, Marcus?

Jump Start

Warnings: smut. A lot of smut. Unbeta’d writing; soft Marcus. 

Words: 3,500

Summary: What if Marcus only went to DC for a while? And what if he came back for you?

Marcus: Still game for tonight?

You: Are you kidding? Cho and Lisbon have bigged up that Aladdin’s Cave for months. I’ll be there.

Marcus: You sure this is what you want for your birthday?

You: Yes.

Marcus: Okay then… Bring a pillow because I’ll probably bore you to sleep with all the art stories.

When the elevator doors part to reveal Agent Marcus Pike, you’re standing by the door to the lock-up. A smile lights up his face when he sees you, and your heart bumps hard in your chest. He slides his hands in his pocket, a blush creeping up his neck.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, Marcus.”

He ducks his head, a little shy. You know he isn’t always. You’d seen him in the interview room a few times last year, when your team and his had co-run a case. Watched his eyes go hard, his face stern. He’d slammed a file down on the desk inches from a suspect’s face and the surprisingly rough side to him had made you shiver.

Lisbon had sent you a knowing look and you’d ignored her.

She’d had her chance and she’d blown it, and frankly you didn’t want to know what she and Marcus had shared; how close they’d been.

Marcus had gone to DC after that. A year’s undercover work has helped him heal, you think. Get his head back in the game.

He came back for another co-op case, and thankfully, Lisbon and Jane had been away on honeymoon then.

You and Marcus had worked this one together, sometimes late into the night, sharing take-out and anecdotes from other old cases, and then, you’d started hanging out, a little.

He’s interesting. Funny. Friendly. Panty-melting gorgeous.

Heart-stoppingly gorgeous.

Cho dropped that it was your birthday at last week’s after-work drinks, and then Marcus had texted offering you a tour of the art lock up. You’d been rota’d off the day Cho and Lisbon got to see it, last year.

Patrick Jane hadn’t been allowed in. Marcus had muttered something about sticky fingers when you’d asked him about it.

“You ready?” He ducks his head to buss your cheek and you meet him halfway, breathing him in, minty gum, sandalwood, and the gourmet coffee he hides in his office. He shared it with you once and it’s like him, memorable, decadent, addictive.

“Ready.” You pull away, reluctantly, wanting him, but he’s never given you any overt hints that he sees you as anything more than a colleague.

He and Lisbon are cordial to each other when they meet, but for all you know, he’s still pining over her.

You daren’t ask; you don’t want to know the answer.

Marcus punches in a code to the first gate, then plucks the rings of keys from his pocket and opens the dinner door of the lock-up, a smile playing on his scruffy face. He grew the patchy beard during his time in DC and it really suits him, highlights his beautiful jaw and makes his soulful eyes a deeper brown.

This time on a Saturday, no one else is around.

“A private museum,” you breathe as you see all the paintings, sculptures and other art set carefully in frames or on desks or custom made plinths.

“Yeah, I always feel like Aladdin.” He scoffs at himself. “I say that every time. What a dork.”

You turn and grin at him. “I like it. You’re an art geek. It’s sexy.” The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.

Marcus’ brow wings up. “That so?”

“Um, sure.” You duck your head, embarrassed. “So. Tell me some art stories,  Special Agent Pike. What’s new here?”

He brightens, soulful chocolate eyes going wide for just a moment. “Well. There’s this equine sculpture. Maker’s mark is Italian but we seized it during a raid for paintings. Wasn’t expecting it.” He snaps on white gloves and offers you a pair, then gently turns over the statue to show you the swirling signature on the bottom. “We’re still not sure where the other two are.”

You trace a gloved finger over the horse’s detailed mane, wrought perfectly in cherrywood. “Other two?

“Sure. This is part of a set. You can tell here-” he points out a divot in the base that you wouldn’t even have noticed, and another on the opposite end. “And here. The two connecting statues are missing - other horses, I’d guess.”

“Wow.”

Marcus sets the horse down and meets your gaze. “You bored yet?”

“Nope! More!”

He chuckles indulgently. “Okay. Why don’t you choose.”

You wander around the various lock-up cages for a while, examining instruments, more statues, even a huge quilt that looks woven with gold.

After a few moments, a painting about your height catches your eye. It’s an orgy, but tastefully done, painted in shades of amber and gold, the bodies fluid, enchanting.

“I’ve never seen such a… soft depiction of a group bang,” you smile.

Marcus’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “That came in last week. Rumour has it, the artist was quite the lothario back in the 1800s. A steady stream of, ah, callers to his penthouse in Florence. The accounts of his sexual prowess are something else.”

“I bet.” You eye the curves of the women in the painting; she looks soft, welcoming, her eyes closed in ethereal bliss. “So, how’d you get this?”

“Allegedly, found in an attic. We went to the house to pick it up. The man who gave it to me - said they just moved in - seemed kinda high.” Marcus’ brow furrows. “Very mellow. Pretty sure he’d been smoking something. He was half-dressed.”

You crouch, examine the painting more closely. “And you didn’t… arrest him?”

Marcus shrugs. “Art’s our deal. I did note the address with a colleague in the DEA, so if it gets flagged again, they’ll investigate.”

Something about the painting keeps you enraptured. You spy a little notch in the frame. “Do you think something’s hidden in here?”

Marcus bends next to you to examine the area you point to. He’s been working today, so he still wears his suit, the red tie the little bit of flash he allows himself on the job. His scent weaves around you, the lick of coffee, the gasp of mint, and something uniquely Marcus.

“It looks like something…. Comes undone?”

You both lean in together, and you edge your gloved finger along the groove in the ornate gold-effect frame.

Marcus does the same from the other end. “Wow,” he breathes. “A hidden compartment?” Then his eyebrows shoot up as part of the frame depresses under his finger, clicking. He grins hugely. “Well, now I really do feel like Aladdin.”

“Don’t suppose you’ve got a little monkey wearing a fez around here, do you?” You tease.

“Maybe a magic carpet. I-”

He’s cut off when a hissing noise pops from the painting. You and Marcus both lean in to try and hear it more closely, and just when you get close, powder sprays from the frame, light gold in colour and smelling faintly musty.

You cough, reeling back, your hands over your face. “Gross.”

Marcus steps back too, wiping a gloved hand over his face and examining the golden-hued powder on the cotton fabric. “What the hell-”

You slowly sit down on the floor. “I feel… sort of dizzy. Hot.”

Marcus crosses to you, crouching in front of you, and if you didn’t feel so discombobulated, you would appreciate the closeness of him, the amber shot through his irises, the slight curl of his cowlick. “I’ll go get help. Maybe some water?”

You’re burning up. A slow dance starts in the pit of your belly, something that you think was always there, maybe, but intensified now Marcus is so close. “Please don’t go.”

His brow furrows in concern. “Of course.” He smoothes a gloved hand over your hair, and then you see it; the change in his eyes, the way they go dark and hot. “I… what the fuck is this stuff? I feel…”

You clutch at his forearms, feeling the play of lean muscle under his suit. “What if…. What if this was the reason that painter was such a, um, lothario?”

Marcus’ gaze has dropped to your mouth and at your words, he blinks. “What? Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “Marcus, I…”

He stands up, backing away. “I can’t be near you. Not when I want… I can’t.”

You reach out to him. “What if you stayed?”

He gazes down at you, longing in those bottomless eyes, and now you can clearly see the outline of the powder’s effect on him. “I can’t. Can’t do that to you.”

A flash of hope pierces the haze descending on you. “You want to? Because of the.. Stuff,” you finish lamely.

An expression of half desire, half pain, sketches itself over Marcus’ features. “I’ve wanted to for a while. That night we worked late.” He’s half-panting now, the fingers of one hand curled around the wall of his side of the lock-up. “Wanted to take you over the desk. I - fuck- can’t do it.”

You make to move. “Marcus-”

“Not like this,” he groans, that voice of sin and sex dropping half an octave, California with a lick of the drawl of Texas. “Not… like this.”

“Don’t go!” You beg. Your insides are burning up for him. If he’d just touch you. Just for a moment.

Marcus is shaking his head, fumbling with the door on this section of the lock-up. You lunge for him but he pulls the door closed, locking you in and him out.

He turns the key, then tosses the ring across the room.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Not like this. Goes against everything.”

“But I want you,” you say. You crawl over to the fencing separating you. “At least… touch my hand.”

You pull your gloves off, slide your fingers through the holes in the mesh.

Marcus takes his gloves off too, tangles his fingers with your the best he can. He sighs deeply. “I had this whole date thing planned. Dinner at an Italian that reminds me of a place I ate at in my gap year.”

“Marcus,” you whisper. “So you do really like me.”

He groans. “Sweetheart, I haven’t been able to think about anything but you since I got back from DC, and there you were, pretty as a picture, working late with me, sharing Chinese food. Making me laugh.”

You swallow, wanting him so badly it hurts. Every inch of you burns for him.

“I wanted to go slow,” he rasps out. “I know I jump in. Get overexcited. But with you.. I wanted to do it right. Fuck.” With his free hand he, almost unconsciously, palms himself through his suit pants, his eyes rolling back. “What the hell is this drug?”

You hungrily follow the path of his hand with your gaze. “Lothario, remember?”

“I remember.” Marcus groans, pressing the heel of his hand against his erection. He’s sitting awkwardly. “Bastard.”

“Marcus.” You squeeze his hand. “I want this. I want you. It’s lonely up on that white horse.”

He shakes his head, vehement. “It’s….not… not right.”

You press against the caging and just the pressure of the mesh on your breasts makes you moan. “So I can’t touch you, and you won’t touch me, but you also won’t leave me.” You watch him squeeze his eyes shut, look at the tent in his suit pants. “Touch yourself.”

His eyes pop open. “What?”

“If you won’t leave and you won’t… give in to whatever this is, although I want you more than I’ve wanted any man, ever…. Let me see you.”

A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead as he looks at you, big brown eyes considering. He’s weighing every option. Marcus is thoughtful, considered. Considerate. He always thinks two steps ahead, encompasses everyone in plans and strategies.

But he’s blindsided by this, and you can’t say it isn’t sexy as hell to see him unravel this way.

“Please,” you add, holding his gaze.

He squeezes your fingers and the air changes between you, and then he leans heavily against the mesh and you take the opportunity to stroke his hair, a little, and it’s so soft. Feels like silk, and you have to touch more of him, but maybe you’ll get to at least see more, so you will your breathing to calm, just a bit, as he fumbles one-handedly with his belt buckle and then slides the zipper of his suit pants down to reveal plain grey boxers, darkened in the centre by a damp patch, and your throat is so dry.

“Have you…” your heart bumps hard, the rush of seeing new parts of Marcus making you even dizzier. “Ever gotten off in this evidence locker before?”

“Can’t say I have.” Marcus’ gaze stays on your face, earnest. “I can go. I can just go.”

“Please. Please don’t go. Come in.”

“Can’t do that.” He closes his eyes; looks like he is silently praying for the power to resist you. His fingers curl into the parted edge of his suit pants.

“Let me see you?”

He sucks in a deep breath, then exhales shakily. “This is not how I planned to seduce you. Just so you know.”

Your pulse rabbits. “You seduce me every moment, Marcus. With every sweet text. Every time you smile at me. All your art stories. When you say my name. Your voice, oh God.”

Marcus’ hand trembles as he holds your gaze through the wire mesh of the lock-up, and he finally, finally parts the opening of the plain grey boxers and draws himself out, and you just drink him in with your eyes, the shape of him, the swollen tip, his length and girth, the curling hair at his base. It looks as silky as the hair on his head and you hear yourself groan needily.

“Marcus.”

He fists himself, his gaze hot on yours. “Not how I planned this date,” he repeats. “I feel like I’m on fire for you.” He rasps out your name and you watch his hand move, and suddenly it’s too much, the heat between your legs cannot be ignored, and you shove your skirt up and mirror Marcus on the floor.

His head jerks around. “Fuck,” he hisses.

“Never knew you had such a potty mouth,” you half-gasp, half-tease.

“For you, I’ll do whatever you want with my mouth.”

You groan at that as you circle your clit with a finger.

Marcus almost growls “Underwear off, I want to see.” His voice, that voice, is gentle-rough, and you think of the day you watched him in the interview room.

“Whatever you say, Agent Pike.”

“Christ.” He’s jacking off in earnest now, his gaze riveted to you as you pull off your underwear with one hand, letting it fall wherever. Your skirt is rucked up around your hips and the fact it’s Marcus watching you is a huge turn on, but honestly you’re not sure if you could have stopped, for anything.

Your combined pants fill the space. You’ve never been so wet. When you slide two fingers inside yourself the sound is obscene.

“It’s.. a wonder..  He ever got… any painting done,” Marcus grits out.

You laugh. “Now?  You wanna talk about art now?”

He huffs. “Art is the reason we’re here. Like this.” Then he sucks in a breath and you look down at him, his balls drawn up tight, his cock wet with his own pre-come.

“Marcus Matthew Pike, I swear to God, if you don’t get in here right now, I will never ever speak to you again.”

He hesitates.

“I swear on Van Gogh’s ear,” you add, your internal muscles fluttering.

Marcus half-yanks up his pants, scrabbles for the key. The seconds feel like hours until he appears again, boxers and pants around his knees, shirt tails hanging, and he opens the mesh door and you yank him in and kiss him and you tumble to the floor together, and Marcus grabs both your wrists and pins them above you with one hand, his face dark and determined, and it makes your heart pound.

“Please,” you grate out. “Marcus. I need you.” You spread your legs and try to hook your feet over his calves, but he shakes his head.

“Not yet. Sweetheart, not yet.” He curls your fingers into the wire of the mesh. “Hold on. Don’t… don’t touch me. I wanna make it good for you, first.”

You hear yourself keen his name as he shucks off his clothes from the waist down, then slides down your body and puts that gorgeous mouth to work. Your favourite thing he did with his mouth until now was talking, but this-

Maybe he’s writing his name, maybe he’s writing a sonnet, but whatever it is, the way he curls his tongue is obscene, and you don’t know if it’s partly the drug, but when he puts two fingers inside you, you come so hard you almost black out. And then lust rears its head again and you grab for him, carding one hand through his hair and cupping him with the other, and he’s slick in your palm and the ridges and heat of his cock feel so good.

“Marcus.” You fist a hand in his hair, pull a little, and he groans and pants, and you take the opportunity to pump him in your fist until he swears under his breath.

"Condom. Oh fuck. Condom."

He hesitates, then drops a soft kiss on your lips - your first, you think, a bit giddy - and you taste yourself, and he licks into your mouth and whispers your name and it's pure, unadulterated bliss.

Then he extricates himself, rummages in his suit pants, and as soon as he has the foil square in his hand you grab for him, pulling him down on top of you.

"After this," you murmur, "you're gonna bend me over the desk." And you roll the condom down his dick and he lets out a long, slow breath and pushes inside you and it's everything.

Everything inside you quiets for a moment that stretches as he starts to move, caging you in with his braced forearms, and you look into his dark chocolate eyes and his heart is on his face, with Marcus it always is. It's your favourite thing about him.

He nibbles at your lips as you make love to eachother, and you hook your legs around his hips to stop him pulling out too much. You want him close, want to feel his skin under your hands. The buttons of his shirt rasp against your dress, and if you were more aware you might think it's ridiculous, him bringing you to orgasm with you both half dressed in the floor of the art squad lock-up, but you can't care. Not when his cock hits you right there, and then you're keening his name and he tumbles over the cliff edge with you, pressing hard in those final thrusts as your muscles milk him.

You curl around him. "Marcus."

He sighs, presses his forehead to yours. "Was that… are you okay?"

You chuckle lazily. "I've never been more okay."

He cuddles you close, nosing at your cheek, murmuring sweet nothings. "Christ, what is this stuff? I could go again."

At his words desire rears its head. "There must be a desk in here somewhere, right?"

And his eyes go hot.

And that's how you find yourself bent over a desk recovered from an abandoned shipping off, the edges intricately gilded. You cling to them as Marcus fucks you hard and fast, just the way he'd fantasised about, and it's so good that you sob his name over and over.

Afterwards he cuddles you so gently, stroking your hair as he whispers praises about how good you felt around him, how next time he's gonna give you a bed covered in rose petals.

You shake your head, kissing him deeply, helping him into his jacket. "You're all I want, Marcus. Any way I can have you."

A flush colours his cheeks as he cups your cheeks. "Dinner? Let me take you out to dinner."

"I'd rather have it in bed. Have you in bed."

His eyes go wide for a second. "The drug.."

"This isn't the drug and you know it." You loop your arms around his neck. "It just jump-started us. Never been so grateful to a horny nineteenth century painter."

Marcus laughs out loud, hugs you, then releases you to hold your hand, tug you towards the elevator. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You know that, right?"

Happiness unfurls slowly inside you. "I could stand to hear it again."

Tagging the Pedro pals! @soldade @beccaplaying @heatherbel @mourningbirds1 @alldatalost @songsformonkeys @agirllovespasta @nelba @chews-erotically @mrschiltoncat @gamingaquarius @alienprincesspoop @dornish-queen @lackofhonor @agentpike @jaime1110 @thegreenkid @pedropascallion   @mrsparknuts @buckstaposition @winters-buck @oloreaa @mstgsmy @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @holographic-carmen @cryptkeepersoul @alwaysbethewest @poenariuniverse @starlight-starwrites @keeper0fthestars @alwaysbethewest @kindablackenedsuperhero @abuttoncalledsmalls @f0rever15elf

And @arch-venus25 did you wanna be tagged in Pedro stuff?

[borkthemork]

Got tagged by @calamity-unlocked for the procrastinating writer ask, and might as well! Always fun to get away from the pains of editing, RIP to Falling Down Dry’s eighth chapter.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

26.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

220,000.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

A lot. Just...a lot before I got into Ao3 so let’s keep it at that. But mainly I wrote for SU, Amphibia, and FMA.

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

-Death of the Ego

I would say this happened because I wrote this at the right place at the right time. People had been theorizing that Steven would get corrupted ever since the trailer to SUF, and I originally made this as a one-shot...until people encouraged me to start exploring it.

Wouldn’t say it was my best work, but every time I wrote something it meant I improved slowly, and I would always appreciate that no matter the weather.

-Doesn’t Have to be Solo

Oh man, I loved this one! Just a series of connected events with Steven going on his road trip, and learning more about himself and who he was along the way. It also was the fic where I needed a lot of beta readers as time went on, so it made me learn a lot about grammar, prose, and overall the internal rules I developed while writing in general.

-Beyond the Music Box

This was the surprising one! This fic was originally a place where I could archive all the drabbles I written on Tumblr, and y’all really wanted it due to how chaotic my tag format is for this stuff.

It’s surprising for me because I didn’t expect a lot of love when it came to my casual writings since they take I don’t know an hour or so in creating, so thank you everyone who encouraged me to do this.

Just ignore the fact I’ve been lazy at updating the drabbles, shhhh.

-Building One Up

Marcanne, my beloved. Me and my friend kept talking about how Anne was a buff dork and this was at a time where no one really focused on that except mainly on Sasha when it came to strength (for obvious reasons).

I found this slander (I’m joking, by the way) and decided that I needed to write my feelings out on the topic.

And y’all agreed with me so dthdfthtfhtfht.

This also was the first time I had to hone in on a new form of characterization entirely, being that I infused the character’s thoughts and feelings into the way the prose flowed out itself. For Marcy, I went on a pretty analytical front with this piece, and it helped me get into the groove for people like Anne and Sasha and many others over the course of writing.

-Late Night Talks

I didn’t expect this one to blow up at all. I wrote this at one a.m. and y’all just grabbed this fic and ran, I am still confused.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I respond to comments all the time because comments just give a lot of serotonin, you know? Someone took their time out of their day to remark on things I did in the work itself, and it’s just very validating to see. It also creates this environment that says, “Yes, I see you, and you can interact with me anytime you want.” so it’s all about that friendliness unless you’re rude to me back.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Pizza for One. Had an angst kick when SUF occurred so I milked it whenever my motivation got the best of me.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write crossovers unless you mean a crossover of characters to a new environment and set of rules. I would gladly write characters into the FMA world, oh my Lord!

But I guess the craziest stuff I’d written would just be comedy sketches? Best example would be Joe and Bessie having kids and Marcy having a conniption over it, so take that what you will.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t believe so? I did get one person on my old SU fic asking me to continue while giving me unsolicited advice but they apologized not soon after.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do write smut. I write it privately but I adore characterization and intimacy, and so I try to make rather domestic pieces that connect to the characters themselves. If it has a certain kink, I make sure to research it so I could understand why the character finds the act rather arousing, and I just want to pay respects to the act itself.

Even with our current day and age, there’s still a lot of conservative anti-sex rhetoric going around, and I always try to view the act of physical intimacy in the same lens as one who adores love in all its different facets and forms.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope to that either!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sadly, no. I do art trades with people and those are lovely to do since we get to brainstorm and make art together, but I’ve never co-written work with someone. If anyone wants to do that, then sure, just hit me up.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

It changes every season, every morning tide, every peace loving hour on the Planet Earth.

It’s Marcanne, right now.

When it comes to ships I always go with the Friends-to-Lovers dynamic, but a lot of the ships I have come from seeing the amount of intrigue in how that type of ship would play out. That could be with Kannao and the amount of commentary over Japanese gender biases, or Royai with their very complicated but extensive adoration and loyalty to one another.

For Marcanne, it’s all about that playful banter that could definitely bubble out of the surface if you just (bangs table) allow them to communicate and be transparent fully. (cries)

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Sadly, that Anne fic with her confiding in Hop Pop after they get settled in her house. After what happened with the sneak peek, I realized that this fic would need a lot of build-up to be satisfying and I didn’t have the strength to do a 10k build-up to Anne crying.

Maybe I’ll finish it, we’ll see.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Writing strengths would be concise prose and characterization. I am a worry wart, I worry over the importance of each paragraph and how it all forms and transitions together, it’s just a part of how I work a great deal of the time. And man, characterization is the big one for me, if I don’t understand how the people work and could theoretically function in the story itself, I feel absolutely lost.

Which is also the reason why I’m struggling right now with FDD Chapter Eight, because Marcy’s reaction to Yunan keeps eluding my grasp!

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I overthink a lot. Concise prose is great but I force myself to get all fancy and massive with details since I’ve got to unless I want a specific part to be so quick and unmeaningful, and this leads to pacing issues or just not enough intended time for people to breathe in the fic itself.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I need to get a beta to make sure I don’t sound like an asshole, haha. I do love other languages, they are beautiful and can add a lot towards an audience who does know the language itself, but it depends on the work I’m doing.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That would be uhhhhh, my memory is lacking but Minecraft. The whole videogame had a wish fulfillment atmosphere to it, and since I got rather obsessed by how anything could happen in the engine itself I went with it.

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

When it comes to me, my own perception of my art changes day to day. Back when I first posted the Lapidot fic I thought it was the best thing I’ve ever done even though now, with the knowledge I have from workshops and betas, that the style I drafted had a lot of grammar and prose mistakes that I wouldn’t make in the future. It is pretty subjective, but for now I think the best fic I could look at right now would be amestrian catcher (set something ablaze).

Thank you Calamity once again for this! And I’ll be tagging @resplendent-chungus, @aanau, and @golddragon387!

[toxicpineapple]

Well, this year is coming to a close!!! Here are my favourite writings from the year 2020 :)

---

January:

“A penchant for looking at rocks”, the first ever Amamota fic I wrote (it’s been a long fucking year, haha) and another 5+1 things fic! Buckle down LGBTQ+ community because there are a lot of these, in fact I’m pretty sure I started off last year’s compilation with a 5+1 things fic? Anyway, this one was the five times Kaito helps Rantaro when he’s hurt, plus the one time Rantaro helps Kaito. I love me some good whump and I felt I had to choose this one because it’s one of my favourites just generally speaking.

Content Warnings: Injuries, tending to injuries, asthma attacks.

---

February:

“Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses”, which I wrote for day fourteen of Femslash February. Boy, if I thought I wrote a lot in January, just take a moment to peek at February 2020… I was churning out a fic daily for the entire month. I don’t regret it though! I got to write a lot of characters who I haven’t written a lot, and explore a whole lot of prompts, and if I can remove my head from my ass I fully intend on participating in Femslash February again next year. Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses is the piece I wrote for Valentine’s Day, which was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, so I wanted to write something special commemorating our relationship. No idea how I’m going to top that in 2021, but uh, check out the fic! It’s cute and I like to think it’s clever.

Content Warnings: The Mortifying Ideal Of Discovering Oneself, secondhand embarrassment, bad kisses. (I mean in the sense that texturally they’re just, unpleasant. It’s about asexuality, alright.)

---

March:

“Adventure”, which I wrote for day five of Amasai Week, which was the first ship week I hosted and participated in in 2020! This was the longest piece that I wrote, and my favourite, just because I really really love the childhood friends trope, and I liked writing Shuichi and Rantaro as children, adventuring together and just having a fantastic time. Amasai Week actually took place while one of my parrots stayed overnight at the emergency vet after a fight with another one, so it was a pretty stressful time for me, but I’m proud of myself for completing it and looking forward to hosting Amasai Week again in 2020! Stay tuned, we’ve almost got the prompts worked out.

Content Warnings: None.

---

April:

“A couple of ghosts”, which is the fic I wrote for Kaito’s birthday! I see we’ve reached the part of 2020 where I met my abuser, which, yaaaaay, but also, I’m still really proud of this fic, despite how much I kind of associate it with him now! It’s the fic where I said, y’know what, no, we can’t have nice things, and gave Kaito a horrible, traumatic reason for his fear of ghosts, as well as two dead parents. It’s Saimota though and there’s a cute hurt/comfort scene at the end so go ahead and check it out if you want.

Content Warnings: Car accidents, minor character death, injuries, PTSD.

---

May:

“Are you down to play?”, the fic that I wrote for day four of Saimota Week, wherein Shuichi has a secret and Kaito makes a bet with Kaede to figure it out. Man, if you thought I had bad associations with the fic I chose for April, look at this one, haha. But it’s objectively the best writing piece I uploaded that month, I’m really proud of my characterisation and the scenes in the fic, and hopefully someday I’ll be able to read this piece without thinking about him. :)

Content Warnings: None! This one’s just a fluffy feel good fic.

---

June:

“Tamago kake gohan”, the Sonanami canon compliant hurt/comfort fic I wrote for my friend Void’s birthday. I put out a whopping three one shots in June because I’d really hit the swing of my roleplaying and hadn’t adjusted to it well enough to be writing fic at the same time yet, so, yeah. This one’s cute, though! Sonia is sad about Gundham and then Chiaki makes her some food. They’re sapphic.

Content Warnings: Canonical character death.

---

July:

“Good night”, the Amasai 5+1 things that I wrote for my friend Neb’s birthday! This is the five times Saihara slept in front of Amami, plus the one time Rantaro slept in front of Shuichi. It’s cute! They’re tender! It features the trope where you sleep in front of a loved one! I love that trope! And it’s Neb’s favourite so I had to go for it, hehe. These two are cute boys and they deserve to be happy.

Content Warnings: Breakdowns, nightmares. (But neither is from the narrator’s perspective.)

---

August:

“Making that dream come true”, the royalty AU Kaede and Rantaro become friends fic that I wrote while I briefly hyperfixated back on my royalty AU. I got into another writing groove during this time so I actually have a lot of really good fics up from August (including Mutual Vulnerability… Amamotas I’m sorry to have cucked you like this that fic was so damn good) but this one was my favourite. I love writing in first person, and I love writing platonic relationships, and someday I’m going to write the multichapter that this fic sets up for.

Content Warnings: Arranged marriages, and something else but it’s a secret, shhh.

---

September:

“A lot of firsts”, the Harumami fic I wrote for the first day of Amami Week, which is a personal writing challenge that I did this year to celebrate the week leading up to Amami’s birthday. September was a really dry writing month for me, partly because of the roleplay stuff and partly because of personal issues, but I’m still proud of the heteroeroticism (heh) in this one. Maki and Rantaro have chemistry, what can I say.

Content Warnings: Stab injuries (not from Maki to Rantaro, please).

---

October:

“October 3rd”, the second fic I wrote for Rantaro’s birthday, and also the Oumami fic that I wrote for day seven of Amami Week. I’m a fan of most of the fics I wrote in October (I wouldn’t gift someone a fic I’m not proud of and most of the fics I wrote, including this one, were gift fics) but this one is my favourite just because of the introspection, and also because of the fact that I got to write Ouma, because he’s always so much fun. I enjoyed writing the two of them going back and forth and have another Oumami fic on the way so stay tuned, haha.

Content Warnings: None.

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November:

“It is what it is”, the fic I wrote for day four of Amamota week, which takes place when Rantaro is an adult, and out at a bar with his friends, where he meets Kaito and goes for a walk outside. It’s a melancholic piece for sure, but I like capturing those vibes with my fics, and I got to write a group interaction which is always one of my favourite things to do. Amamota is my biggest comfort pairing and I’m glad that I got to host Amamota Week this year, because I enjoy those two so much. :) Great chemistry.

Content Warnings: Recreational alcohol use (everyone is drinking legally and tentatively responsibly), general sad vibes idk.

---

December:

Okay, honestly, I haven’t posted anything yet this month aside from a vent, and since the vent I posted talks about my eating disorder and it’s not really very good writing anyway, I don’t feel comfortable putting it on this list. I have a multichapter holiday themed Oumami fic on the way that I will hopefully finish before the end of the year, as well as a fic I’m working on for a writing and art trade that I ABSOLUTELY need to get off my ass and work on, so those will hopefully be out by the end of 2020.

But yeah, that aside, that’s the complete list of my favourite fics from 2020. It’s been a long year and I’m glad to have stayed a member of the Danganronpa fandom through it. I really appreciate all the friends I’ve made, and the fun times I’ve had while I’ve been here.

2020 has treated me pretty terribly, haha. I met someone who I really wish I could’ve gone without, and my health has suffered, and I’m hoping to be able to start my recovery properly in 2021. Guess if I have a new year’s resolution, it’s to let go of what he did to me and start trying to get better. So I’m going to work on it! I can’t say that I think 2021 is going to be anybody’s year, but maybe it’s not about what the universe has in store for us so much as it is about what we make of it.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful new year, I love you all dearly, thanks so much for the support and the laughs, and I’ll keep on hanging around and spreading my Amami propaganda.

Someone has to, haha.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

[musette22]

I know it's hard answering questions like "what's your fave fics" cause there's soooo many talented writers out there (including yourself ❤️) but I'm genuinely curious about which fics you've read that you've loved so much and just happen to drift back to it in the back of your mind time and time again? I'd love to have more fics like that to read xxxx

Hi sweetheart! Thank you so much ❤️ 

While it is a tricky question, I’m glad you asked it because I’ve been thinking about this myself lately! So I’ve given it some thought and came up with a list of fics that I really, truly loved. I don’t tend to bookmark much, and I’ve only re-read a handful of fics because there’s still so much amazing content out there that I haven’t read yet, but these are some of those fics that I have or would reread or save! Might add more at a later point because I’m sure I’m forgetting some, but for now I hope this helps!

*************************************************

Not Easily Conquered by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFears

I know it doesn’t seem very original, but this is a seminal work in this fandom for a reason. The most stunning, heartbreaking, incredible fic I’ve ever read and I think about it daily. Life changing.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by owlet

One of the first Stucky fics – or series, really – I ever read, and I think it was this one that got me hooked on Stucky for good. Absolutely hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time, one of those fics that you never really forget and think about fondly and often.

Political Animals by crinklefries @spacerenegades​ & Deisderium @deisderium​

Absolutely wonderfully written fic. Enemies to lovers, which isn’t my usual cup of tea so much, but this was just such an incredible piece of writing, and so engaging and addicting, that I still think about it a lot. The holiday-themed sequel was also brilliant and heartwarming. Both authors are incredible, I highly recommend all their other Stucky fics.

The Threshold by Rend_Herring

I’ve only read this one once, but I keep meaning to reread it because I remember being absolutely bowled over by it when I read it. So incredibly beautiful, and it got the boys’ characters absolutely spot on if you ask me. Cried my eyes out, be warned.

honey don’t feed it, it will come back by ellebeesknees @ellebeesknees​(umetnica), thedoubteriswise

[So so so beautiful, it captured wartime romance perfectly. Really engaging and gorgeous]

Prince Charming by Brenda @brendaonao3

This fic, aside from being really well-written, combined a few of my favourite tropes: tattoo artist Bucky, and the ‘gay for you’ trope, where a character who was not previously gay, or at least didn’t know they were, meets ‘the one’, who happens to be a guy. Coming out, bisexual awakening, all of that wonderful stuff. It’s got a special place in my heart.

All Those Little Pieces by Ellessey

Beauuuuuuuutiful. I was a mess after finishing this one. Really really great. I highly recommend all Stucky fics by this author.

From What Seemed Like A Ruin by rohkeutta @rohkeutta

Stunning recovery fic. A very realistic depiction of how Bucky refinds himself and then Steve, with beautiful, evocative imagery and art by @albymangroves. Would also highly recommend all other fics by this author, they’re all beautiful and/or hilarious.

Bucky Barnes Gets His Groove Back & Other International Incidents by silentwalrus @silentwalrus1​

This is the wildest, most wonderfully brilliant fic I’ve read, I think. It’s LONG but I was immediately hooked and just devoured the whole thing. Incredible series and I have mad respect for this author.

Don’t Say It Softly by paperstorm @paper-storm

Evanstan. I think about this fic all the time!!! It’s so soft and it captures the love between our boys perfectly, just like everything else Andie’s ever written. I was a fan before we became pals so I’m not just saying that because I ❤️ her.

Where The Interstate Ends by paperstorm @paper-storm

Evanstan. I only read this on every recently and I could KICK myself for not reading it sooner. It had me completely hooked and I had to stop and shout at Andie multiple times just because she had me all up in my feels. SO well-written, can’t recommend it highly enough.

And finally, because what fic rec list is complete without some explicit smut, here are some some of my favourite PWP fics ever:

The Pugilists by ipoiledi [bottom!Steve] I reread this one. A lot.

sweet like honey by mcwho [bottom!Bucky, feminization] Also do yourself a favour and read every other fic ever by this author, you will not regret it.

Blush Pink by voluptuous_panic [bottom!Steve]

saw myself tonight (caught my reflection in the mirror) by notcaycepollard @notcaycepollard [Bucky Barnes x Sebastian Stan] It’s a bit of a doozy (in the best way) but whoa, so hot.

taking this one step at a time by endofadream @endofadream [bottom!Steve, daddy kink] So sweet and so hot.

[taste-in-music]

My Favorite Albums of 2019

It’s that time of the year again folks! 2019 was year filled with exciting new releases by some of my all-time favorite artists being dropped left and right at an overwhelming rate. Not only that, there were so many debut full-length projects from artists that had been simmering in the EP zone for years, or had otherwise gotten onto my radar from their shorter efforts in years prior. Needless to say, I found this year to be even more enjoyable and enthralling than last year, and last year was pretty great. I’m going to stop rambling. Like last year’s list, this is in no particular order with the exception of the final album, which is my favorite album of the year. 

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen: Part of me was nervous for this album’s release. How could Queen Carly Rae possibly follow up the modern pop masterpiece that is E•MO•TION? However, my nervousness was sated when I heard the single “Now That I Found You,” which, I’m going to say it, is the best pop song of the year. Hands down, no competition even came close. It slams every single time I put it on. The whole album is a lot of fun to listen to, from the glimmering sugar-rush synths on the opening track “Julian” to the playful Popeye sample on “Everything He Needs.” If for any reason you’re still a Jepsen skeptic stuck on her being the “Call Me Maybe Girl,” give this album and E•MO•TION a try and you will realize just how much she has to offer.

My Top Tracks: Now That I Found You, Party For One, Happy Not Knowing

Heard It In A Past Life by Maggie Rogers: This album dropped in January and it’s safe to say it was my first favorite album of the year. I’d been counting down the days to this since falling in love with Now That The Light Is Fading early last year. I made an entire post reacting to this album, and while some of my thoughts have changed since then, I can still say that this project has an array of great folk-pop songs with excellent vocals and lush production. Classics like “Alaska” are always fun to return to, but the deeper cuts are what really shine on this project. The bounciness of “The Knife” cements it as an essential Summer bop, “Say It” is an achingly relatable and sensually delivered unrequited love song, the fluttering opening chorus of angels on “Retrograde” gives me chills every time, and “Back In My Body” reduces me to an emotional wreck.

My Top Tracks: The Knife, Retrograde, Back In My Body

Sucker Punch by Sigrid: Sometimes you just need to listen to something that will make you happy, and this album offers joy in spades. Sigrid’s vocals range from fleeting and emotional to raspy, but are always charming. The production is vibrant and colorful, from the flurry of strings that open “Sight of You” to the splashy sound effects that pepper “Business Dinners” or that giant, stomping chorus on “Mine Right Now.” The hooks on this album are catchy as ever, crawling their way right into your brain and making a home there in the best kind of way. Sigrid is such a reinvigorating presence in the pop world, and while I do wish that she could have made more of a splash stateside, seeing her European success gives me hope for the future.

My Top Tracks: Sight Of You, In Vain, Don’t Feel Like Crying

Keepsake by Hatchie: If I had heard Hatchie’s debut EP Sugar & Spice last year, I’m sure that it would’ve made it onto my year end list. Thankfully, this year we’ve got an album, so I can continue to gush about Hatchie and give her the notoriety she deserves. Her vocals are filled with genuine, love stricken euphoria as they drift over fluorescent, guitar driven soundscapes. Listening to this album feels like floating away on cotton candy clouds, it’s a sugar rush of dreamy indie rock that will sweep you clean off your feet.

My Top Tracks: Stay With Me, Without A Blush, Her Own Heart

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish: Listen to this thing with a pair of really good headphones and you’ll be in for a whole experience and half, the production is amazing. Not only that, it’s creative. Take the vocal warping on “xanny” and “bad guy,” or the knives scraping along “you should see me in a crown,” or the sample of a dental drill used on “bury a friend.” (The only exception to this is that first track where she takes out her Invisalign. Those slurpy sounds make me cringe every time.) The rest of the albums is pretty great though. Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell went and crafted one of the most lyrically tight and sonically textured pop albums this year had to offer, and for that I have nothing but respect.

My Top Tracks: when the party’s over, all the good girls go to hell, bury a friend

Jade Bird by Jade Bird: Jade Bird has been one of my favorite up-and-coming artists of the past year or so, dropping not only the wonderful Something American EP but also a slew of firecracker singles in anticipation for this album. This project contains not only rock bangers that showcase the firepower and grit in Bird’s voice, (“Uh Huh,” “I Get No Joy,” “Love Has All Been Done Before,”) but also softer, somber ballads that allow her lyricism to shine, (“17,” “If I Die.”) This album is a strong debut that showcases not only promise, but prowess as well.

My Top Tracks: Uh Huh, Love Has All Been Done Before, I Get No Joy

Pang by Caroline Polachek: This album transports me to another plane of reality, melding frosty art-pop soundscapes with glistening synths and captivating melodies. Polachek’s vocals are some of the most expressive and impressive of the year, gliding through runs and jumps with ease. Each song feels like its own little world, whether it be the wistful seas of “Ocean of Tears,” the flitting pianos on “Go As a Dream,” or the funky groove of “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings,” the most instantly addictive song of the year.

My Top Tracks: So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings, Hit Me Where It Hurts, Look At Me Now

Cheap Queen by King Princess: Everything about King Princess’s music and aesthetic is so self-assured and cool that I feel slightly unworthy of being in her presence. That doesn’t mean that this album is devoid of relatability, however, as the lyrics still touch on themes of self consciousness, (like on the opening track, “Tough On Myself,”) and the trials and tribulations of relationships, (”Prophet,” “Ain’t Together.”) The production on this album meshes King Princess’s modern feel with vintage flourishes, such as old vocal samples or record crackles, that come together to give the record a sense of timelessness. 

My Top Tracks: Tough On Myself, Cheap Queen, Hit the Back

Cuz I Love You by Lizzo: From the very first note of the very first song of this album, you know that Lizzo is putting in 1000%. Can we just sit back and thank the powers of good for allowing us to be in her presence? We truly don’t deserve her. This album has everything, from empowerment anthems, (”Like A Girl,” “Tempo,”) to heartbroken ballads, (the title track, “Jerome,”) to roof-raising bops, (”Juice,” “Exactly How I Feel.”) Every element of this project, from the vibrant production to the powerful vocals to the lyrics, emulates such a sense of confidence and love that by the end of each listen I have no choice but to stan both Lizzo and myself. 

My Top Tracks: Cuz I Love You, Juice, Jerome

Atlanta Millionaires Club by Faye Webster: This album is one of the most charming listens of the year, I heard the very first line of the very first song and fell head over heels in love. Faye Webster’s tear-stained R&B-infused folk pop walks the line between catchy and melancholic, joyful and melodic, just perfectly. “Kingston” gets my award for dreamiest song of the year, I can’t think of any other song that is able to put me at ease faster. Whether she’s lamenting about her best friend being her dog or letting Father jump on a track to deliver the chillest rap verse ever, she’s got something you’ll love up her sleeve.

My Top Tracks: Kingston, Jonny, Room Temperature

Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey: As soon as I heard “Mariner’s Apartment Complex” last year, my expectations for this album skyrocketed through the roof. Needless to say, this album didn’t disappoint, and is in my opinion Lana’s strongest work to date. Norman Fucking Rockwell! features some of the most mature and sharp songwriting, beautiful performances, and sweet melodies of her whole career. The title track works like a diss track, as Lana roasts the subject in question with beautiful eloquence. The lilting syllables on the chorus of “Bartender” allow the song to nestle deep in your brain and stay for a while. The atmosphere of the album reminds me of a cool day in early September, driving down the coastline of rural California, and I adore it.

My Top Tracks: Norman fucking Rockwell, Cinnamon Girl, Mariners Apartment Complex

Don’t Feed The Pop Monster by Broods: What a fun and refreshing listen this turned out to be! Whether it’s with a Summery synthpop jam on “Peach,” the 90s-eque grunge of “Old Dog,” or the heartbroken pleading on “Why Do You Believe Me?” Broods always deliver. While the sound of this project is a bit all over the place, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t cohesive, as it is grounded by the creative force that is the Nott siblings. If you’re on the hunt for some pop that’ll keep you on your toes, then this should be right up your alley. (Also, get some good headphones, wrap yourself up in a fuzzy blanket, and really take in “Life After.” You won’t regret it. That song continuously brings me to tears. Just beautiful.)

My Top Tracks: Peach, Sucker, Life After

Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary by Tōth: I think I’ve finally found an album that can finally help define as “warlock music.” I stumbled across Tōth due to his involvement in the band Rubblebucket, (whose song “Fruity” made my favorite songs of the year list last year,) and what a hidden gem his music turned out to be. There’s a kind of sweet peacefulness that inhibits this album that always keeps me coming back for another listen. The lyrics follow a painful breakup and the healing process after, and the tone of the music wonderfully matches the fragility of that state of mind. The instrumentals are soft and somber, but also have some unique elements sprinkled in, (take the trumpet solo on “No Reason” or the clip-clopping groove on “Copilot.) If you need an album to put on to just unwind, give this one a try, I really love it.  

My Top Tracks: Copilot, No Reason, Picture Of You

Good At Falling by The Japanese House: Let’s contextualize my love for this project. When I heard the single “Follow My Girl” last year, it literally made my jaw drop with its beauty. Now, it’s not even my favorite song from this album. The plucky guitars on “You Seemed so Happy” gets me smiling from the very first chord, and the rhythmic rush that follows each chorus in “Wild” makes my heart skitter. Amber Bain’s vocals are coated in their signature layer of slick vocoding, allowing them to drift over the icy soundscapes with ease. Just lovely.  

My Top Tracks: Follow My Girl, We Talk All The Time, You Seemed so Happy

LÉON by LÉON: And here we have it folks, my favorite album of the year. After years of only releasing EPs, LÉON finally delivered her first full-length project, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. This album’s got it all, both the ever-bouncy bops and the heartbroken ballads that make me miss a relationship that isn’t even mine. LÉON's vocals are as warm and smoky as ever, the melodies are instantly catchy, and the lyrics are to-the-point yet endlessly effective. “Hope Is A Heartache” discusses working through possessive feelings following a breakup, and hits like a gut punch every time. Her voice shines on the “Cruel To Care” voice memo, where she sings in one take over a simple plucked guitar. Other favorite moments include the airy, vocoded “Pink,” (an excellent unrequited love song that tunes into my clownery,) and the doo-wop “ooh-woo”-ing add-libs on “Baby Don’t Talk.” 

My Top Tracks: Baby Don’t Talk, Falling, Pink

Also, if Saved by Now, Now had come out this year it would be #1 on this list. 

What were your favorite albums of 2019? Did you listen to any of these albums? Leave your recommendations and thoughts down below.

[loquaciousquark]

21, 35, 37 pls :)

21. Is there an idea you’ve always wanted to write, but haven’t yet?

Answered here!

35. Where’s your favorite place to write?

Somewhere isolated, still, and surrounded by flat surfaces I can fill with endless cups of coffee, where no one will be annoyed when I put an instrumental music score on loop for three or four hours at a time. I have only written a few times at restaurants/coffee shops (not by choice; I’d had a brainstorm at work and had brought my iPad with me to jot something down over lunch) and didn’t ever enjoy it or find it productive, so I’d rather be alone.

It also takes me a long time to get into a groove with a lot of the material, and then once I’m in it I hate being interrupted out of it, so I think most Starbucks would be annoyed if I just sat at a table all day with a single biscuit and a cold coffee using up their WiFi. Seriously, it can take me a couple of hours to really hit my stride in certain sections, and then once I’m in it I can stay in it for three-four-five-six hours sometimes, if I’ve got the right music and no other distractions. Great for output, those days! Not great for public spaces.

In the old apartment it was my bedroom with the door almost closed, back up against the headboard, or on the couch after I moved to the single; here in the house it’s been the corner of my couch with just a ton of pillows. I do like being able to change my position (feet up, stretched out, cross-legged, kicked up on the coffee table, etc.), so I don’t write well at fixed desks with office chairs where I can’t easily flop around.

don’t make me be still, maaaan, don’t make me not move around, i can’t do it

37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story? 

I...I think so! It would have to be the right person and I’d have to really trust them & their writing before we tried it, though. It’s like--so when @jadesabre301 and I were in middle school and first becoming friends, we co-wrote this Sailor Moon story on like 45 pages of longhand ruled paper front and back, passing it back and forth between classes. It’s finished! I have it upstairs in a closet with lovingly hand-drawn Sailor Moon cover art! but man oh man if some of those sections didn’t go off the rails between us, y’know? I wanted Darian & Serena to fall in love immediately and have lots of wonderful hurt-comfort moments; Jade developed an evil OC for Darian to fall in love with and spent most of her sections conspiring to get them together again after I’d undone whatever she’d written last time. 

Also, as I’ve grown up a little since then and actually developed something of a writing habit, I’ve found that I need to outline extensively before I write. I am an architect vs. a gardener; I need to know the structure and goals of each scene before I get there so I can set it up properly, so before I’d even start writing with someone I’d prefer it if we sat down & just worked out the whole thing first, then divided it up. But I know a lot of people don’t write like that - they do better when things are allowed to develop organically & without necessarily knowing how they’ll get where they’re going - and I think that would be hard for me. I have done a few little things with other people as an adult and they’ve gone well enough, but I usually got distracted by real world problems and faded away, much to my shame. (Sorry, w0rdinista! D:)

Thanks for the questions! <3

[quickspinner]

Killer Combo - Ch 4 Finding the Groove

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Epilogue | Bonus Tidbits | ART inspired by this story! | AO3 | Fiction Master Post

Marinette felt awkward, walking up the steps of the gangway connecting the péniche to the bank. Luka was nowhere in sight, and she stood in the middle of the narrow ramp, a hand on each rail and her index finger tapping lightly. She was already a little rattled from anxiety over the project she’d been working on at home, from arguing with herself over whether it was weird or too much, and now coming here and not knowing what to do was getting to her a little bit. Luka hadn’t given her any instructions except the location of the boat, and it wasn’t as if she could just ring the doorbell, so…

“Are you going to stand there all day, lass?” a booming, accented, female voice demanded, and Marinette jumped, looking around frantically for a moment before spotting the woman standing on the cluttered deck, two fists on her hips and her feet firmly planted. Imposing as her figure was, the expression on her face was friendly amusement and, like Luka, she had gentle eyes behind her round glasses. 

“Oh, I—I wasn’t sure how to—I mean, I’m here to see Luka? I guess I thought, uh…” Marinette’s shoulders hunched slightly, her eyes taking in the flowered headband and thick chunky jewelry and the amp cord necklace. 

“Ah, yes, he mentioned he had company coming over today. So you’re the lass from the tournament, eh? I’m Luka’s mother and the captain of this little floating paradise. Name’s Anarka, or Captain Anarka if you can’t stomach anything else. Don’t call me Madam and we’ll get along fine.”

“O-okay, M—uh, Captain,” Marinette said quickly.  

The grey-haired woman smiled, her eyes crinkling at the edges, and jerked her head. “Well come aboard, lass. Luka’s playing on the upper deck, I’m sure he lost track of time or he’d have been down here to meet you. Those stairs, right there. Watch your step; clutter’s a way of life around here.” Anarka pointed, and Marinette came carefully onto the boat, picking her way across the deck towards the stairs. 

Anarka made no move to follow her, so Marinette just went on up the stairs, hoping Luka would be easy to find. She didn’t even register the music playing until she got to the top of the stairs, though it was probably audible from the bank even; she’d just had other things on her mind.

At least Luka was easy to find sitting half-reclined in a deck chair, one boot planted on a crate and an electric guitar in his lap, a pair of electric blue mirrored sunglasses hiding his eyes and flashing in the bright sun as he bobbed his head in time to the music coming from both his amp beside him and the stereo speakers behind him. The track playing was the album cut, but Luka was playing over it, his guitar blending in beautifully with the existing instrumentation and giving it a bit more edge and a more complex sound. It sounded really cool, actually. Nino would love it, Marinette thought absently.

Then Luka opened his mouth and that smooth voice that had always been so soft and gentle rang out strong and clear as he sang along with the track, body swaying to the music, hands still moving over the guitar. “They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest, they got their hands at my neck this time. But you’re the one that I want, if that’s really so wrong, then you don’t know what that feeling is like.” 

She thought his eyes must have been closed behind his sunglasses because he didn’t react to her at all until she called his name.

“Oh, hey,” he said, pulling off his shades to blink at her. “Crap, sorry, I—” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time, and then grinned sheepishly at her. “I guess I lost track of time.”

“It’s okay,” Marinette smiled. “It sounded good.”

Luka’s face lit up. “Yeah, you liked it?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, tucking a strand of hair back. “You’re really good.” 

“Thanks,” he grinned, putting both feet on the deck and straightening up. “Hang on, we’re all set up, just let me turn this off and we can get started. I was just killing time, but I didn’t realize how much I guess. I get into the zone and—” He gestured vaguely. “Well. You probably know how it is.”  

“I do,” Marinette smiled. “I’m not in a hurry.” Marinette watched as he turned off the sound system and put his guitar back in the case with practiced care. “I made sure I had the whole afternoon free. How long have you been playing? Guitar, I mean, not UMS.”

“Practically all my life,” he told her as he zipped up the case. “Learned from my mom, she was a rock guitarist back in the day. I was just messing around, though. If I really wanted to practice I’d go down on the stage and hook up the big amp.” 

Marinette’s eyebrows raised. “You have an entire stage whenever you just feel like practicing?”

Luka shrugged and gave her that roguish grin and wink that made her knees weak. “Welcome to the Liberty. Everything we do here is dramatic and over the top.”

“That...doesn’t sound like you at all, actually,” Marinette giggled.  

Luka chuckled. “Well, you don’t actually know me all that well. You’ve never seen me perform. Or get angry.”

Marinette smirked. “I wouldn’t like you when you’re angry?” 

Luka’s laugh rang out, and here in his home, in the open air, it was loud and unrestrained, and Marinette had to smile. “You’re funny,” he said, shaking his head as he straightened up and motioned for her to follow him. “Come on, I love the sun myself but I figured you might not want to fry out here so I set us up in the shade where the glare isn’t so bad.” 

Marinette followed him around the wheelhouse to an area shaded with a tarp, with two deck chairs in front of a TV strapped to a crate with bungee cords. The crate itself was similarly strapped to the rail. “Sorry it’s not exactly a high tech setup,” he said, picking up a pair of controllers out of the chair and handing one to her. 

“I like it, actually,” Marinette replied, taking the controller and sitting down in one of the chairs. “It’s comfortable.” 

“Way better than those damn pods,” Luka agreed with a grin. “You’d think they could at least put a chair in the stupid things. I hate playing standing up.” 

Marinette giggled as he turned on the TV and started up the game. A piece of paper taped to the side of the TV fluttered in the breeze and she leaned to the side. “What’s that?”

“Oh, I forgot that was there,” Luka said, reaching around to pull off the paper. “I guess you could call it my goal poster. Not as fancy or as detailed as yours, but…” He shook his head slightly, handing her an ad from a music store with a picture of an electric guitar. “That’s my dream girl.” 

“Wow,” Marinette said rather blankly.

Luka chuckled as he took it back from her. “I know it probably doesn’t look like much to you, but trust me, she’s worth it. They’re going to start throwing me out of the shop if I don’t buy her soon, I’ve been in there playing the demo so often. She’s just got such a sleek body and a great sound, she’s absolutely gorgeous.” 

Marinette couldn’t contain her giggles any longer. “I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I don’t mean to make fun of you, it’s just the way you talk about it is funny to me. I’m not belittling your passion, I promise. Did you buy that one the last time?” She nodded toward the case he’d set aside when she arrived.

“Ah, no, that one’s actually my mom’s,” Luka said, sticking the paper back onto the side of the TV. “My mom never gets rid of anything, least of all an instrument, so she’s got a bunch of different models she lets me use, but...” He sighed, his lips tightening slightly. “It’s not the same as having my own. It’s...hard to explain.” 

“I think I get it, sort of,” Marinette shrugged slightly. “Different machines have a different feel even when they’re all doing the same stitch. You find one you’re comfortable with, you stick with it. It’s probably even more true with instruments, I imagine.” She blushed and brushed back some stray hair that the breeze was whipping into her face. “I mean, I’m not a musician, so maybe I should just shut up.”

“No,” Luka smiled, and her heart fluttered at the softness in it. “It’s okay. Even if you don’t quite get it, it means a lot that you try to understand.” He threw himself back in his chair and gave her a lopsided grin that was more guarded. “So do you hate me now that you know you’re trying to fund your dream and I’m just trying to do what I love?”

“Of course not,” Marinette said in surprise. “If you’re a better player than me, you should win. It’s not about deciding whose intentions for the prize money are the most worthy. It’s a game, not a grant application. I’ll make my dreams happen another way. Winning just makes it easier.” She dared a wink of her own and felt a thrill of satisfaction when a more genuine grin took over and his shoulders lowered slightly. She hadn’t realized he was tense until that moment, but he was visibly more relaxed now. Feeling brave, she quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re thinking small, though. Surely you don’t need the whole prize pot to pay for one guitar. I hope you’ve got plans for the rest.”

“I do,” he said simply, and Marinette felt a stab of guilt as he tensed up again. Now that she knew what to look for it was easy to see. She shouldn’t have said that. She remembered how she’d felt when he pressed her about her plans. It had felt invasive and intimidating, even though she had nothing to be ashamed of. She fell back on what had always worked to deflect the deeper conversations. 

“Well, whatever your plans are, I’m sure they’ll be great,” she said brightly, and then smirked at him. “Or they would have been, if it weren’t for me. You’re still going down, Viperion.” 

That worked, as he grinned back at her. “We’ll see, Ladybug,” he said, sitting back into his chair. “Well. For now we’re on the same side, so—ready to kick some ass or what?” 

Marinette grinned. “I’m always ready.” 

They were definitely better this time than they had been the last, more in sync. They discussed and made adjustments and Marinette was feeling very encouraged at their prospects when Luka threw his arms up with his victory whoop at a particularly difficult victory, and the familiar sound of tearing fabric hit her ears.

Luka’s tired old hoodie, it seemed, had finally had enough. He cursed softly, inspecting the damage along one shoulder. It was a pretty bad tear on a seam that was clearly already weak. “I guess it had to go sometime…” Luka sighed. “I was really hoping I’d get a little more wear out of it—” Marinette snorted, as it looked like he’d gotten plenty of wear out of it to her, but Luka ignored her. “I got it in Scotland when we were visiting family,” he continued. “It’s my favorite.”

“By the looks of it you’ve worn it every day since,” Marinette observed dryly, folding her arms.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Luka said reluctantly, pulling the hoodie off and regarding it with sad, fond affection that both tugged at her heart and made her want to laugh. “I guess it’s paid its dues.”

Marinette sighed and dropped her head back, rolling her eyes. “Oh my God, fine, stop with the kicked puppy look, give it here.” 

“Huh?” Luka looked up at her. 

“Give it to me, I’ll fix it,” Marinette said, with a wry smile. “You big baby.” 

Luka’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Really, you think you can fix it? I’d hate to give it up, I’ve had it forever.” 

“Obviously,” Marinette snorted as he handed over the hoodie. She examined the torn seam, and then the other seams. “All of these need reinforcement,” she commented, and saw Luka’s face fall as she looked up. “It’s okay, I can do it,” she said, with some amusement. “If you trust your beloved pile of rags to my possession. I don’t deny the urge to chuck it overboard is strong. Do you want the repairs to show or should I try to hide them?” 

“I don’t mind if it shows,” Luka said, ruffling his hair. “But whichever is faster. I know how to sew a button back on but that’s it so whatever you say works for me. Are you sure you want to do it now? We’re supposed to be practicing and I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

“It won’t take that long and we’re due for a break anyway,” Marinette shrugged. She draped the hoodie over her shoulder and picked up her purse, pulling out a small (well...smallish) plastic box and handing it to him. “Pick a color.”

“Wow, you carry this stuff with you all the time?” he asked, opening the box and looking at the neatly arranged contents. He deliberated a moment and then selected a spool. 

Marinette took the kit back and pulled out a needle and a pair of folding scissors. “Really?” she said, holding up the spool of bright red thread. 

Luka shrugged and grinned. “That way I’ll think of you. I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid, but it’s kind of what you said about putting a piece of yourself in the things you make. If you’re doing that for me, I don’t want it to be invisible.”

Marinette’s face turned as red as the thread in her hand, she was certain, and she was equally certain that Luka saw, with the way his grin widened and he averted his eyes, trying to pretend that he wasn’t holding back laughter. Marinette’s eyes narrowed slightly in both annoyance and sudden suspicion. “When did I say that?” 

Luka froze—just an instant, but Marinette caught it. “Ah—on your instagram,” he replied in a way that would have sounded completely casual if she hadn’t seen that quick moment of...whatever. “Your business instagram was on your poster,” he added, shrugging one shoulder. “I told you I love your team gear, so I checked it out on the subway ride home. Just for something to do.”

Marinette hummed an affirmative, the corner of her mouth quirking up. 

Luka glanced at her. “Your work is really amazing, actually. I didn’t have time to look through very much but I loved what I saw.” 

Marinette flashed him a quick smile, trying not to let on how many butterflies it felt like she’d swallowed in the last two minutes. “Thanks.” 

The pause that followed was slightly awkward as Luka ran his finger through his turquoise locks and added, “Anyway, I owe you big, thanks for doing this. Above and beyond, even for a teammate.”

“Please, you’re already helping me out, this is the least I can do,” she snorted, and then she dared to dart a smile at him. “Play for me while I work and we’ll call it even,” she added as she sat down and arranged the hoodie in her lap. 

“Really, you want me too?” He sounded so happy, Marinette was afraid to look at him. She firmly told the butterflies to settle down and waited until she was sure her voice would be steady before she answered. “Yeah, I’d love to hear it. You sounded really good before.” She shrugged one shoulder. “A little bit of you for a little bit of me, right?”  

“Well all right then,” he said, still grinning as he went to get his guitar. “Sounds like a fair trade to me.” 

Instead of going back to his perch in the sunshine he sat down in the deck chair next to her, and true to his word, he played while she sewed, occasionally asking if she had a preference, but she just shook her head. “You pick,” she said around the needle clamped between her lips as she unspooled and cut a length of thread. 

She glanced to the right only once and nearly stabbed herself with her needle at the sight of Luka’s bare arms moving as he played Stairway to Heaven, too absorbed in the music to notice her choking on her own spit, thankfully. Penchant for video games aside, Luka clearly led an active lifestyle and his arms were toned and defined without having the bulk of somebody who worked at getting that way, and that subtle swell of muscle was more than enough to send her thoughts scattering to the wind. She’d managed to keep her eyes on the game when he’d been in her room, but now, with nothing but her sewing to distract herself, and Luka absorbed in his music...Marinette sighed. As if she needed him to be any more attractive.

Fortunately Marinette was more than capable of sewing with only half of her brain online. She fixed her eyes on the fabric and resolved not to look at Luka again. She failed only once, glancing up as he suddenly sang softly, “ooh, it makes me wonder…” She met his eye and the soft look and the crooked smile he gave her as he added, “it really makes me wonder…” made her drop her gaze again, hoping he wouldn’t see the blush rising to her cheeks. He chuckled and fell silent again, focusing on his guitar again.

Her foot tapped and her head began to bob along with his as he moved into the more energetic part of the song, and Marinette couldn’t help but think this was nice. It was nice, sewing here while he made music, with the gentle rock of the boat and the open air and fabric in her hands.

A few songs later, he was playing a Jagged Stone song when Marinette caught herself singing along and stopped abruptly, glancing quickly at Luka as she felt her face go hot. 

“Don’t stop,” he grinned at her. “You sounded great.” 

Marinette snorted. “Would you want to sew one of these seams in front of me?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. 

Luka laughed that unrestrained laugh again and she tried not to feel too pleased about it. “Point taken,” he chuckled. “But really, it was good.” 

Marinette made a small noise that was neither agreement or disagreement and focused back on her task. Luka played a tune she didn’t know for a while, and Marinette fell back into her easy rhythm with the needle.

“It relaxes you, doesn’t?” 

Marinette jumped. “S-sorry?” she said, glancing at Luka for just a moment. 

“Sewing relaxes you. Usually, you’re kind of…” He interrupted the calm melody he’d been playing to play something more energetic, more powerful, but also more tense. “But the longer you work on that you get more…” he lapsed back into the calm tune he’d been playing. 

“It does,” Marinette admitted. “Simple stuff like this, anyway.” She tried to change the subject. “I don’t know that song. The one you were playing just now.” 

“Yeah,” Luka smiled. “Me neither.” Marinette looked at him sharply, frowning. Luka shrugged. “I’m just messing around,” he told her. “Just, being here like this, hanging out with you. This is how it feels. It’s nice.” 

“Yeah,” Marinette agreed, smiling down at her flashing needle. “It really is.” She reached for her folding scissors but missed, and they clattered to the deck. “Ugh, could you grab those for me?” Marinette sighed as they skittered to a stop by Luka’s foot. When he didn’t answer, she glanced up and found Luka staring at her, much like he had the other day. Marinette raised her eyebrows. “Luka? Could you get my scissors?”

Luka jerked back into motion, setting the guitar aside as he reached down and scooped her scissors up off the deck. “Sorry, guess I spaced out for a second,” he muttered, cheeks pink as Marinette took the scissors and unfolded them to clip the thread. He didn’t quite meet her eyes as he took the hoodie she held out to him.

He looked pleased as he examined it, and Marinette felt a rush of pride. She’d used a slightly decorative stitch since he wanted it to show and it was a neat job if she did say so herself. Luka pulled it on, checked the damaged seam one more time, and then grinned at her.

“You’re the best, seriously. I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Yes, you can,” Marinette said, putting her sewing things away. “And you have. So let’s not worry about it any more. Break’s over and we have ass to kick.” She grinned at him and reached for his controller.

Luka laughed, sending another frisson of satisfaction through her, and put his guitar away, grabbing his controller as he sat back down. “Let’s do this.” She glanced over at Luka just in time to catch the roguish grin and wink he sent her way, and she could only pray he looked away before her face went completely red. 

The sun was setting again when they finally decided to call it a day, congratulating each other on their mutual progress. 

“I think we’re really going to be ready,” Marinette grinned. “Team Lucky Charm coming in hot. It’s going to be epic.”

“No doubt,” Luka chuckled, and they shared a quick fist bump. 

“I should go,” Marinette said, glancing at the time and standing up to gather her few things. Luka got to his feet as well as she continued, “I think if we just practice online from here, we’ll—”  

“Luka, Maman said—,” called a mellow, rather low feminine voice behind them, much too softly to be Anarka. Luka and Marinette both turned and the speaker, a tall girl with a cascade of black hair and a face that Marinette found familiar despite the years that had passed, faltered. “Oh, sorry. She didn’t tell me you had company.”

“Juleka!” Marinette smiled, turning to face her properly. “It’s so good to see you. Wow, you look amazing! Oh, you—” She bit her lip. “You might not remember me, um, I’m...I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng? We went to school together back at...back at um…”

“I remember,” Juleka said quietly, tilting her head slightly. 

“Yeah? That’s great.” Marinette’s conversation with Luka earlier in the week flashed through her mind, and she pursed her lips for a moment, and then plunged. “Um,” she began, fidgeting a little. “We—it doesn’t have to be now, if you don’t want to, but, I, I was hoping maybe we could...talk? I mean I didn’t come here to talk but since I’m here, and...and you’re here, and there’s really some things I feel like I ought to say to you, and I...well...anyway, now’s good for me, but later would be good too, we could go grab a drink, I mean not a drink-drink, like orange juice or something, not if there’s anything wrong with it if you’d like a drink-drink, I just don’t usually—and the places that serve those drinks are so noisy anyway, and—” Marinette jumped as Luka’s hand came down on her shoulder and squeezed gently, and she stared at the deck, stomach churning and cheeks burning for far less pleasant reasons than they had been earlier. She glanced hesitantly up at Juleka. 

Juleka’s eyes seemed to flick between the two of them, but Marinette didn’t dare look up to see Luka’s expression. “Now’s good,” Juleka said finally, tilting her head slightly. “Come on, we can talk below.” Her eyes narrowed slightly at her brother. “You stay here.”

“Yes ma’am,” Luka chuckled. “Unless you were going to tell me that Mom wanted you to remind me to fix that hole in the rigging?”

Juleka looked surprised, and then sheepish. “Oh. Right.”

“I’ll get on it,” Luka said, making a shooing motion towards them. “You two go have your talk.”

When Marinette emerged from below the deck nearly an hour later, somewhat tearstained but smiling, Luka was coiling rope on the main deck. He glanced up at her and smiled, even as Marinette raised a self-conscious hand to wipe uselessly at her probably-ruined makeup. 

“Good talk?” he asked, and Marinette nodded. “Good. I hope you both feel better with the air cleared.” 

“I think we do,” Marinette said, still holding her hand uncertainly over her face. “Thanks for the push. Ugh, I must look a mess, I’m sorry, I should’ve found a mirror...” 

Luka shook his head. “You’re fine.” He beckoned her forward, and Marinette went to him. “You’ve got a streak right—” he reached out and wiped at the corner of her eye with his thumb gently. “There, that should be good enough for you to get home.” He added softly, “That was really brave, Marinette. You didn’t have to do that, but I’m glad you did.” His fingers brushed her cheek lightly as his hand fell away, making her breath hitch and he turned back to the ropes quickly. “I’ll see you at the tournament in a few days,” he said, looking back to smile at her briefly. 

“Y-yeah,” Marinette stammered, backing away, before fleeing across the gangway. She stopped just before she hit the bank and turned back, not wanting to leave on such a frazzled, cowardly note, or she’d never be able to face him at the tournament and all this work would be for nothing and she could not let Max down that way. “Luka.” 

He jumped slightly before he looked up again, bringing one hand up to shield his eyes from the sun behind her. “Thanks for the music,” was all she could think of to say, but it was enough to let her smile at him and walk calmly down the steps with her head held high. 

Somewhere behind her she heard a soft, “Yeah, sure, anytime,” in a sort of blank voice, and she cringed a bit internally; he probably thought it was weird, after they’d already said goodbye, but it mattered to her, and so she took a deep breath and straightened her back and marched towards home with purpose.

Marinette had a bit of an internal crisis later that evening as she stood over her sewing machine and the project currently in pieces on it, fingering one diamond shaped piece of fabric as she remembered how much he loved his tattered old hoodie. She wondered whether she was overstepping. But, it was kind of too late now. She had to see this through. She couldn’t not finish it, not now. The vision was too clear and there wasn’t any repurposing the work she’d already done. She could always just...not give it to him, she supposed. It was still an option. Either way, though, there was no point quitting halfway through. Licking her lips and taking a deep breath to settle herself, she sat down at the machine, determined to finish what she started and worry about the rest later.

[lostinfantasyworlds]

Playlist for Everything

READ “EVERYTHING” ON AO3

This post is going to be extra af, but I am really inspired by music and am so in love with how perfectly some of these songs fit in with feeling of this story. I just want to yell loudly about how much I love some of these songs 😂

Here’s the link to the playlist (YouTube)

Below the cut  = more details and some highlights of the lyrics for each song!

TL;DR: If I had to narrow it down to only a few songs that really capture the essence of the story, they would be (in order of importance):

1. Unfold by Alina Baraz and Galimatias 2. Lights Out by Ayelle and Sonn 3. Strange by Kris Bowers feat Hilary Smith 4. I Miss You by Adele 5. The Bitter Suite III: Embrace by The Dear Hunter

1. The Bitter Suite III: Embrace by The Dear Hunter

Darkness Hesitation I fell into her arms Breathe in, this is amazing Breathe out, this is amazing She removed her clothes and all of the world shined Now that we're alone, all of the world shines First hot breath, then cold hands Intrusion, but aware The fire inside was alight, and she bloomed I never knew life could ever be this good The distant sighs, the clothes on the floor The bedding a mess, she sings for more We fall beneath the sea in the back of our hearts, And fail to breathe until we resurface again.

So I’m just in love with this band. They have a series of albums (Act I - V) that tell a story throughout all of the songs (they are AMAZING and I highly recommend). In this song, the main character loses his virginity to a woman he later falls in love with, and I just thought this song perfectly captures the overall experience really well. Plus, the bass riff that starts around the 5 minute mark is absolutely beautiful/emotional in a way that I can’t quite explain. 

2. Come Here by Sabrina Claudio 

I'm dying to see you You know what I'm fiending for The only one to get to me Only one to get this close So I want you to come here I want you to come here I just need you near

This one is more about the sensual vibe of the music, but the lyrics are also pretty fitting.

3. Speechless by Beyonce

Goin' out my head I think I'm losin' all my mind (all my mind) Drive me crazy burning candles, makin' love all night (all night) Feels so strange, it feels so crazy to be in your world (in your world) In your arms lost for words, you got me (you got me) Speechless

This one is pretty obvious when you listen to it hahaha

4. Unfold by Alina Baraz and Galimatias

Cover my thoughts in gold I'm your flower, watch me unfold My vulnerability, letting you consume me The parts of me that eyes can't see The glowing underneath Picking off the petals I'll let you if you're gentle This kind of love we can't control The art of touch, I am covered in gold I know that you feel me now No I'm never going down The parts of me buried underneath The glowing, don’t you see? I know that you feel me now

This is one of the songs I am OBSESSED WITH, especially in relation to this story. Such beautiful lyrics and just a beautiful song in general with that perfectly slow, sexy/sensual vibe.

5. I Miss You by Adele

I want every single piece of you I want your heaven and your oceans too Treat me soft but touch me cruel I wanna teach you things you never knew, baby Bring the floor up to my knees Let me fall into your gravity Then kiss me back to life to see Your body standing over me I love the way your body moves Towards me from across the room Brushing past my every groove No one has me like you do, baby Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul But be delicate with my ego I wanna step into your great unknown With you and me setting the tone

I’ve always loved this song and how sexy/emotional it is. The beat (especially around the 30 second mark when it really starts) is ON POINT.

6. Until It Hurts by Fransisca Hall

Undress these beautiful lies Blind me with animal eyes Carve your heart into mine Carve your heart into mine Brush me with venomous lips Tear me to passionate strips Stir up the beast inside Stir up the beast inside Take me for all I'm worth Touch me until it hurts

7. The End by JPOLND

Keep your breath on me And keep keep keep going 'Til my body is free Keep your eyes on me And keep keep keep going 'Til I'm the last thing you see Keep your touch on my skin And keep keep keep going Keep keep keep going...

8. Show Me by Alina Baraz and Galimatias

Rising like the smoke You linger on me You got me so high I can finally breathe You're walking poetry It's what you do to me It's what you do to me Touch me with no hands Hold me with your eyes Unwind me with your mind tonight Speak with no words Show me and I'm all yours

ANOTHER PERFECTLY FITTING SONG. The beat/sexy vibe + lyrics UGH.

9. Strange by Kris Bowers feat Hilary Smith

This is an instrumental track from the Bridgerton soundtrack that played when the main couple makes love for the first time. I just thought it was SO beautiful. One of those pieces that really makes you feel something without needing any words. I envisioned this to be playing during either the “everything” scene where he touches her face, or when they actually finally start making love. P.S. This is a cover of Strange by Celeste, which is also just as beautiful but the lyrics don’t really fit for the situation. Highly recommend checking it out though!

10. Vulnerable (David Luxe remix) by Tinashe

Once upon a time I was all alone How you like me now? Do I turn you on? Now I got you drunk, hot, and vulnerable Show me what you want, give me what you want, want Have to make you mine, get you on the floor Yeah, watch me go to work, I’ll put on a show

This is for when things start really heating up lol. It’s more about the sexy beat/vibe, but the lyrics are relatively fitting too. I like the original too, but this remix gets rid of the rap part which isn’t as appropriate for this use, plus I like the beat a bit better in the remix.

11. One in a Million by Aaliyah

So, no one else love me like you do That's why I don't mind to spend my life with you (with you) I want to please you in any way I can I want to share my world, don't you understand? Your love is one in a million It goes on and on and on You give me a really good feeling, all day long

Just kind of continuing the sexy vibe here, but the lyrics fit really well too.

12. Made to Love by John Legend

Oh I've never loved, I've never loved Never loved someone like this All-I-know is... I was sent here for you We were made to love We were made to love You were sent for me too We were made to love We were made to love

Again, needed a few songs that were a little faster for the sexier parts haha. The lyrics on this one are also pretty beautiful too.

13. Lights Out by Ayelle and Sonn

Talk about the way you wanna be You don't ever hesitate to say how All you wanna do is to be with me Taking it all in I wanna be with you 'til the sun rises In your eyes, in your eyes, in your eyes I wanna paint the moon with your eyelashes Paint the night, paint the night, paint the night Lights out

THIS ONE MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE ON THE WHOLE PLAYLIST (along with Unfold). This song is not only slow and sensual but the lyrics are BEAUTIFUL. I put it towards to the end because I think of it as when they’re coming down after and cuddling. Just imagine them looking into each other’s eyes being super in love. WARNING: If you are wearing headphones, there is a realistic knocking sound throughout the song that can be kind of alarming lol

14. I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing (piano version) by Aerosmith

Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't want to miss a thing

Ok so...I’m partial to this song because the full version is what my husband and I had our first dance to at our wedding. So this song will always give me major feels. BUT I included this special piano version specifically, because just like Strange, it evokes a certain beautiful feeling of romance without needing the extra words. Just to wrap up the end with that warm fuzzy feeling of love

If anyone actually read this.....THANK YOU. It really means a lot to me ❤️