#got me going ape shit
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OMG SKULLLLLLLL!!! I can’t believe I’m reading this while shopping at a store rn. 💀💀💀💀 I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING IN THE INSIDE BRO OMG. SQUEALING AND SHIT. I PROBABLY LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE READING THIS, BUT IDGAF. THIS GOT ME CREAMIN IN PUBLIC. 😩😩💦💦💦GAAAHHHDDDAAAMMMN. HUDSON IS SO FUCKING HOTTTTT. 🔥 Breath? Hitching. Heart? Pumping. Kitty? Throbbing. 💢💢💢💢 GAHAGSJSHSKSHS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD HUDSON FIC. AHHHHHHHHH I’M SCREAMING!!!
HUDSON THROUGHOUT YOUR FIC GOT ME LIKE:
MAAAANNN. YOU GOT ME EVEN MORE DOWN BAD FOR THIS MAN TOO. SHIIIIT. I want this man now... B A D L Y . Gun forgive me once again… Dunno how many times I betrayed you but- 🙏🏽
And God bless Ruth for coming up with the character, scenario, and the title!!! HONESTLY, YOU BOTH. I PRAISE YOU BOTH. 🛐 YOU GUYS GOT ME ON MY KNEES BC YOU’RE BOTH GENIUSES. I FUCKIN LOVE YA BOTH!!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤
☣ Vulnerable & Cold Hearted ☣
Warnings : Smut, Swearing, Toxicness, Alchohol, Bj ( male receiving ) , Fingering ( reader receiving) & Unprotected sex
Reader : Gender Neutral.
Scenario : You & Hudson Both had different Plans with each Other, Including betraying one Another.
A/n : this is so messy so go easy on me 😭
walking down the dark streets of seoul , the sound of your footsteps making the streets less dead.
you coudln´t help but think why Daniel wanted you to go to Seoul, Something with the Relationship of Jiho and The Bar. while he and Eli are trying to track down the guy that hurt Max & Derek.
stopping by a shop , looking into the glass thinking if they were even gonna let you even enter the bar, rumor has it it´s not as easy to get in.
you dragged your feet after your endless Thoughts wondering if you were gonna screw up or not, if daniel was gonna be there to save you.
you find yourself infront of the bright Bar, the lights blinding you in the process.
mentally preparing yourself, going over the plan once again in your head you decided to go in anyways.
walking the halls looking at the numbers of the door looking for the right one.
´ 19...20...21.´ you look at the number on the door, you cant help but feel weak in your knees. sweat on your palms making it harder for you to hold the doors handle.
pushing the door open you were shocked by the sight of the one and only , Hudson Ahn . sitting in all his glory with 2 girls. one on the left one on the right.
( he´s kinda...)
before you knew, You realized you were Staring, straightning yourself up you went to the bar.
Getting a drink for yourself , chugging it down thinking about how you´d approach Him when those girls were glued to him.
chugging, chugging . drink after drink , without a stop you kept drinking unresponsibly and made yourself drunk before you even got the chance to talk to Hudson.
feeling dizzy , and the need to puke you wanted to stand up from the chair . but your knees betrayed you and you were left wobbling almost falling back.
´ wtf am i floatin? where´s the floor? ´ looking behind you , Hudson Ahn was holding you.
fuck, he´s hot .
´ You okay? maybe slow down on those shots. You sure are quit the drinker hm? . ´ he says with a grin making you unable to say what you wanted.
studying his face , taking in his features you realized that he looked to good to be your enemy.
´ ah Thank you , if t´ wasn´t for you i would have dropped dead. ´ you tried to laugh out.
´ would you, like to sit down with me then? that way i´ll catch you as many times as you want´ he says with a wink making you smile like a loser.
your inner self was yelling at the fact you and Him were drinking together, legs brushing against each other. your head on his shoulder, looking up at him with doe eyes as if you were signaling you wanted him.
he felt his self tighten in his pants , was it the Alcohol or you?
either way he wanted to find out, and he wanted to now.
Grabbing you by your arm dragging you off the couch , in to the cold air towards a dark alley.
´ what are we doing outside? you grew tired of those girls?´ you grinned out , while he just stared you down.
you felt so small infront of him, you felt like a prey about to be eaten.
´ get on your knees, open that pretty mouth wide open. i´ll give you something better to swallow then liquour. ´
you were shocked by what was coming out of his mouth, but your body betrayed you.
you knew it was wrong, You knew it was an mission.
maybe this will give me a booster to get closer to him, deep down you knew it was just an excuse to touch him
doing what you were told , looking up at him unbuckling his belt, you felt yourself getting more eager for him and went up to help him unbuckle faster.
´ God you´re really desperate hm? need that hole of yours filled so bad you´d fuck a stranger in an alleyway? ´ you heared a slight disgust in his voice teasing you.
you nod eagerly just wanting to touch all parts of him, as if he read your mind he took out his cock and it was to big you were doubting if you could take him.
you were scared, and feared him. am i really supposed to do this.. what if daniel found out.
Hudson noticed you chickening out , rolling his eyes before shoving his dick in your mouth looking down at you with a glare that made you shiver but also slightly turned on.
´ you better start sucking, otherwise you´ll stay dried up here. i got plenty women inside that want me, hurry it up. ´ he warned you obviously annoyed, but he was just joking he wanted you as bad as you wanted him.
not wasting any time, and taking his warning seriously , you started sucking on his tip working your way lower by each suck.
you could hear him breathe out above you , one hand on your head while the other held his parts that your mouth didn´t fit on his cock.
his panting and cursing encouraged you to swallow him whole, reaching his hand that held his full length. looking up at him sending him a message that you were able to fit it inside your mouth.
he looked down smiling at you surprised , placing both his hands in your hair gripping on it still panting out. guess you weren´t vunerable as he thought.
you bobbed your head up and down faster you hollowed your cheeks and took him in deeper, taking it out your mouth stroking him then continueing .
Hudson kept forcing your mouth deeper , gripping your hair and stuttering his hips a few more times against the back of your throat.
pulling his cock out of your mouth, cumming onto your face, the warm liquid leaking from your eyes to your chin.
he couldn´t help but laugh at the sight in front of him, you looked adorable/handsome having his cum on your face. a little signature he wanted you to have.
the only thing he needed to see next was it dripping down your hole.
before you could even wipe the cum of your face you feel yourself being lifted, your hands put against the walls, bent over with your head against the brick walls feeling the coldness of it.
before you could even look back, you felt Hudson put his fingers inside of your aching hole that had been abandoned for minutes.
´ oh my God!...´ you breathed out , the alcohol having influence on you making you moan and gasp whenever he kept going deeper inside of you, curling his fingers.
and when he hit that spot you couldn´t help but tear up and tremble your legs, you weren´t used to this and he knew it.
´ enjoying yourself? bet you´d make more sounds if i bend you over completely . how would you like that? ´´ he whispered in a low tone inside your ear. the hairs on your back standing up.
´ yes, yes please, please i´m all yours just... fill me up. ´ you sighed out, not knowing why but the effect this Man had on you along with the Alchohol had you forgetting your pride/ self respect and the mission. you were even thanking daniel for sending you there.
Satisfied with his anwser, he shoves his cock deep inside you without warning trapping you against the wall his coat hanging over you. both unable to form words, hudson kept hitting inside abusing your hole. you cried out for his mercy begging him to take it more slower.
but who was he to listen to a person that wanted nothing more then their hole fucked? i mean it´s what you asked for right?
ignoring your cries and pleases he kept rutting inside you curling his dick and hitting that same spot.
you tried turning around to push him off , your hole to overstimulated. but he just grabbed your arms and locked them behind your back slapping your ass & finishing what YOU started and rutting back inside without a break.
your threw your head back, gasping at the unexpected move. not being able to hold onto the wall smooching your cheek against the coldness of the bricks. tears streaming down, trying to speak.
´ stop s´to much, i can´t feel my legs. please slow down, it´s to much mnnh!´ you gasped out when you felt him lift your legs, putting his arms underneath them your back arching against his chest. forcing you to take all of him. locking your arms behind his neck pulling him into a kiss, he grunted into your mouth and used his tongue to abuse yours.
you tightned on him, and he responded by biting your neck leaving marks and kissing them. you were gonna be the end of him, he felt it near.
´ your just to much, losen up already you moron. give yourself up to me, i promise i´ll treat you like royalty. would you like that? endlessly fucked and filled by me?´ he whispered in your ear his voice making you whine and respond by looking into his eyes with those eyes again... he felt his self lose control.
making you bounce on his cock, milking him dry and moaning like a whore that never felt dick inside them, begging him to fill you with his hot cum did something inside of Hudson, he never felt..
more powerful and in charge.
he sped up his pace wanting to hear more of your moans and gasps. more of your cries telling him he´s to big, more of you being a slut that milked his cock dry.
looking down where both your bodys were connected and his cock going in and out of you he thrusted a few more times.
´ you better not spill all of it or i´ll make you stuffed and a leaking cum bag.´
throwing your head back , biting your lip groaning you felt him cum inside you as you finished your own orgasm
panting out he got you of his cock and sat you down on the cold floor, kneeled down and gave you a small kiss on the lips. licking your neck in the process. earning more noises he thought you´d be done with.
you looked him in the eyes, gaze revealing you were to fucked and tired to think properly, still feeling his cock inside you. hole clenching on nothing while warm cum drips out.
´ guess Daniel won´t be getting any information soon hm? ´ he sighed out.
you widned your eyes , the look of betrayal made him laugh right in your face, cupping your cheeks and lowering his voice. dropping the stranger who just wanted a one night stand act.
´ you May be cute but i´m cold hearted, unfortunately i knew your plan moron. you think Jiho wouldn´t warn me of you? use that pretty head of yours besides bobbing it up and down.´
your fucked state dissapeared and you felt your heart drop, you spoke out with a raspy voice.
´ don´t tell Daniel, Please..´
looking down embaressed to even face Hudson, he grabbed your cheeks aggresively making you look at him.
´ i don´t think i have to, a picture tells a million words. ´ you were wondering what he meant . and your question was anwsered when he pulled out his phone.
the bright screen revealing you on the floor all fucked out, legs spread hole filled with cum, eyes red from how much you cried , cum dripping down staring at the floor .
you felt betrayed, YOU got betrayed instead of him.
you were interrupted in your thoughts when you saw him stand up and put his phone in his pocket. walking away from you.
´ now i wonder who betrayed who, see you around, ´ royalty ´ . ´
accepting defeat by gathering your clothes you couldn´t help but still feel attracted to him.
you knew it was wrong, but you were to wobbly and dizzy to decide what was best.
calling a taxi to go back home, scared of what you´d tell daniel.
and Hudson did what he said, he kept his promises after all.
approaching daniel , showing him the picture. proud of his work grinning widely studying daniels shocked face that was once full with confidence.
´ guess they needed a quick fuck to show em what they were missing, to bad you weren´t there to witness it. it was pretty pornographic. ´ riling daniel up for the fight, Hudson was laughing not at you but at Daniel.
after all daniel knew how Fearles you were, but he never knew you were this Vulnerable.
´ y/n , god damnit .´
final note : bro... my fingers hurt, my eyes almost falling off. this better be liked or im suing. but god i had a lot of fun doing this, something different a new character i didn´t think much of. so my thank goes to Ruth.
@moonok3 , big shout out to Ruth . she helped me with the title idea, the scenario and she chose the Character.
without her i´d be stuck thinking about useless stuff LMAO . so make sure you follow and support her. 💙
#sorry Daniel but I was defeated… by Hudson’s pp#Skull made another masterpiece once again ✨#got me going ape shit#my feral ass cannot recover 😮💨#I’m not ok#lookism#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#lookism fanfic#lookism smut#lookism x reader#hudson ahn#hudson ahn lookism#hudson ahn x reader#hudson ahn x y/n
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Sword PHIGHTING! period cramps moodboard
Gods mightiest warrior…….
Og image:
ANYWAYS EXTRA BITS!!!! So. Yeah. I wasted exactly 27 hours and 29 minutes of my life making this over a period of like. ~a week and a half LMAO????? I THINK IT WAS LONGER?? Yeah all of these are completely redrawn from the Og “panels”, replicating the dungeon meshi style is. MISERABLE I don’t know why I did this to myself holy fucking shit, all of you blame @squiffer-salad for this monstrosity she’s the reason why this exists in the first place /silly
anyways, I highly recommend looking at the panels individually because I put a lot of fun extra bits in them and just. A LOT of effort in general, any likes, reblog’s, or comments are insanely appreciated since this did take such a long time :’DDD, everything in these minus the backgrounds are completely redrawn/shaded/and colored by hand, this includes mid/screen tones as I used specific layers for those! anyways thank you for coming to my period cramp projection ted-talk I’m going back into my Everglade hole.
#JESUS FICKING CHRIST#WHEN I SAY#27+ HOURS#DUDE…….#FOR A SHIT POST….. THIS IS INSANE…… WHY DID I DO TJIS TO MYSELF#ANYWAYS now that I’m free from this fucking BEAST of a project I’m going to be working on a lot more comms/personal bits since I have much#More free time on my hands!#School is still kicking my ass but at least I’ve been doing well :3#Scored a 10/10 on a AP world test today! Probably gonna end up failing my math unit exam but oh well wouldn’t be the first /silly#Anyways for some smaller extra comments#I honestly don’t really know how I managed to commit to this if I’m gonna be real#This honestly was more of a test of endurance if anything and I think it came out really well especially since I’m not used#To spending THIS much time on a single piece#It taught me a lot too#Specifically more about midtone layers and different types of line art and such#Anyways yeah I am. So horrendously tired#More art soon though! I got stuff in the oven for reals!!!#art#phighting!#phighting#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#artists on tumblr#phighting art#roblox phighting#roblox#roblox art#roblox fanart#roblox game
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I just want people to know that I am going crazy about arcane, but I dont wanna put up spoilers and stuff
#me#i also have no one to go ape shit about this with and im just here#death grip into my legs#trying to keep it in#id also love to do art about anything#but i am still kind of in a block unfortunately#only got time for homework stuff rn 😔
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the CEO of NIANTIC liked my art on twitter?!?!?!?! 🫠 I am passing away 👻
#auropost#also i erased one of those ugly as shit ape nfts in the icons#no one needs to see that#ANYWAYS UH#THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE.......... REAL.........#i had the realization earlier that i'm pretty sure mark fucking zuckerberg has walked around inside of my artwork#because figmin xr was part of the world press tour of the launch of the latest meta headset#and he was like. there. yknow#and it's slowly dawning on me how batshit insane my trajectory as an artist has been over the past year#like this is sooooooooo not normal. i didn't go to college and i had zero industry experience#for many intents and purposes i don't know shit lmao#and yet?!?!? i am considered an expert in this field?#i literally just got off a call with a developer asking me to help with their vr art app#and i'm going to soon be hosting regular xr art workshops in LA#and as someone who has social anxiety i have literally no idea how i'm doing any of this#i just really love art and i really love helping people make art#and somehow that overrides the anxious part of my brain i guess?!?#I DUNNO!!!!! i'm just playing around and having fun!!!!!#anyways if you've read this far thanks for sticking with me on this journey#i know it's been a huge pivot from celestial prints to Futuristic Hologram Art#but i appreciate everyone who has been curious enough to stick around and see where this leads
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btw today I took apart the chickens I roasted earlier this week + made broth with the carcasses + made chili + took pictures of recipes to try + got produce at the farmers market + made my roommate's bed so they don't have to make it when they get home at 11pm im literally peak housebutch material
#DO NOT ask me what i had for dinner (takeout Chinese food)#got tired at the end of the day is all#the chili and broth are being frozen into cubes at my parents'#also shoutout to folk punk band apes of the state for getting me through most of that. listened to pretty much their whole discography#now i could go look at my bad journalism grades or i could empty the apartment dishwasher so that thats also done when andie gets home......#hmm#anyways j couldnt live like this every day tbh but 1 good big cooking day is nice for me now and then#my shit
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GUYS CAN YOU . SEND RE QUESTS . .. LITERALLY ANYTHING [im a liar primarily phighting again or any fandom im in or smthn idfk] . .. ...
I WILL DRAW OCS ILL DRAW SHIPS ILL DRAW BROKER AND ZUKA MAKING OUT SL
#ignore the last sentenc#yeah i got boundaries of what you should or shouldnt req#<- those boundaries are VERY loose though so go ape shit with what you wanna see me make#use common sense but if you dont ill just delete the ask#i will judge you if you ask certain things /j /nsrs#baphobabbles#phighting
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TO REITERATE: I will NOT be taking any requests that are incestuous or anything that contains an adult x a child. I am NOT a proshipper nor do I support proshippers. I have tried to be polite but firm because I am a public figure here technically and I don't want to abuse any position I have or be mean.
However, that being said, I have been clear in multiple posts that I do not condone that sort of behavior or even tolerate it anywhere near me. I am no longer going to be polite.
Enough.
#crow chirps#ARENT YOU TIRED OF BEING NICE. DONT YOU WANT TO GO APE SHIT.#yes i made this because i got another inappropriate ship in my box#going to be so real i do think one of them was either the Original Guy or they were affiliated with them#this next person didnt have the exact same typing pattern but some of the wording was suspicious to me#anyways#proshippers get tf away from me challenge lol#i have been blocking people but im going to start making an example of people on top of it#basically: stop stepping on my boundaries!!!! its rude#im a person first and an artist second and i am always always going to come first#if that pisses anyone off you are free to take your leave if you so choose#not art#i do apologize for so many posts about this#ive seen friends get popular for art and people start treating them as like less than human#so im hoping that by being loud about my boundaries from the start#hopefully ppl will know to buzz off if for some reason i ever take off#i am less strict ab this with warrior cats because the source material is already completely and utterly fucked#nobody knows wtf is going on and half of thunderclan is already inbred#for warriors i'd say like. be mindful? use your judgement#but with mlp there is NO excuse
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got bitten by a tiny black insect while laying in bed and i am pretty sure it was some kind of ant but if i brought home fucking fleas from the clinic i might actually have to kill myself
#i smushed it before i thought to look closer but i THINK it was an ant#inspected my bed and the cat as best i could but he didn't like me poking at him like some kind of ape. what can i say#i just took a shower but i can't get rid of the feeling that something is crawling on me omg#we didn't have anything with fleas today to my knowledge but last week (? possibly a couple weeks ago) there were two cats with fleas#and i didn't touch them very much and tried to not let them touch my clothes and showered when i got home etc but i wasn't able to wash my#clothes right away because somebody elses stuff was in the washer.........#like i cannot afford flea extermination rn not to mention how mortifying it would be to have to go to my landlord/roommates like#heyyy i know i just moved in like two weeks ago but i brought home fleas from my job where i scrub dog and cat shit all day.........#☠️☠️☠️☠️ am i cursed#me
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Tell me why I see cool socks and immediately think "yes this is Faye"??? And the hyperfixation because somehow you're strong enough to only have ONE constant hyperfixation. Also, got any more knight Luciel HC to share?👀
You're correct on two and a half counts Xela!
I have the COOLEST sock collection and I'm not afraid to brag about it. I have cow print socks, ghost socks, dog socks, penguin socks, you name it. I may be wearing big old boots but under the boots there are always some very cool socks hehe
I definitely don't have the strength of mind for just one hyperfixation at a time, though. This baby can fit so many simultaneous interests you wouldn't believe it. I keep this blog quite mysme-centric, but my brain is always spinning with something or another. At the moment, the things spinning around in my head are:
- Howl's Moving Castle (I'm rereading the book - I will never be normal about it), something about how pathetic and annoying he is is so charming in an 'only in books' way
- my sims 3 legacy (I haven't played with them for months and I MISS my little pixel people) I even brought them up on a date recently after a cocktail too many (and he's still seeing me so it must have worked somehow)
- Saeyoung letting go and going Ape Shit (again, I know, I had hoped that writing it out would have gotten it out of my system but I guess it wasn't enough). Particularly V route Saeyoung where he just loses his mind a little and goes on a self-destructive spree (and what's more, this time the MC isn't his rock but someone who is attached to the person to blame! The drama!)
- Knight Luciel/ loyalty to ones own detriment and twisted love dynamics (It's a wonder I never got into the V/Rika thing).
As for more knight Luciel headcanons, let me think...
He is a very good fighter, not known for his brute strength but for how nimble he is. He is fast and deadly if he has to be. His eyes glimmer beautifully (and dangerously, depending on who you are) from under his helmet and it's something that catches MC of guard the first time they see him with it on.
He loves the horses. Whether they love him back is still up for debate. He always has tasty treats on him to bribe them with though.
As I mentioned yesterday, he has a certain affinity for magic that he discovers by accident. His methods are completely unorthodox but they get the job done so he's happy. His powers are mostly connected to objects and imparting magic onto them as opposed to casting it from his hands. One time he got really angry and people swear they saw sparks coming off of his armour.
And, if the past few paragraphs weren't enough proof in themselves, I am a massive nerd.
These are probably messy but here we go! That's my brain at the moment!
#faye talks#brain is messy I am sleepy#so sorry if this is incoherent#I've been catching up on ofmd and imagining saeyoung in Ed's place just going APE SHIT in a self-destructive grind really got to me#jumin-ssi
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Hey guys. gay rights
#i already made the sonic one a while bc yknow. kinnie stuff youve all seen my blog theme#but then i was wearing my Fearless Year of Shadow(tm) shirt along with it and my irl bff was like.#'why are you wearing a sonic bracelet with that shirt if you love shadow so much 🤨' *#(he doesnt know much about sth stuff but ive infodumped abt shadow and his backstory to him many times)#and i was like 😭😭 BECAUSE I DONT HAVW A SHADOW KANDI BUT I WANNA MAKE ONE. I WILL SOON#so. now i do!! taking my ad/derall on the weekends always make me want to make more kandi. its great!#and yknow what else it makes me want to do...... talk more on here >:3333#me and my dad are gonna go to a local jazz festival this afternoon bc our jazz combo is playing at it!!#itll be fun. my dad said hes gonna get some food from this really good breakfast place on the way thwre#which is not the best part. the best part is outside the shop there is a wonderful kitty cat who hangs around the parking lot#bc hes owned by the ppl who own the bar right next door#its so great. everybody knows him (the cat) and loves him. the v/ape shop next door has a tip door set up for him even though the#bar owner ppl take care of him and take him to the vet nd stuff. my dad found a faceb/ook page somebody made for him#and apparently it just has pictures of ppl at the bar holding him. its so great and hilarious. this cat is so loved#by the v/ape shop people. by random people at this beachtown bar. by the breakfast shop people.#anyways uh. this post was abkut kandi wasnt it 😭😭😭 lol#cherry chortles#anyways the add/er/all also usually makes me want to look at and sort through my pkmn card collection. so imma do that#because my dads friend (and my friend too i guess! me and him exchange cat photos bc he has this adorable chunky cat named gremlin) that we#play bar trivia with on tuesdays (dw its not really even a bar. its mostly a restaurant) asked me abt my pokemon card collection#bc the final question was to put a few franchises (it was like. dora the ecplora and spide/rman etc. and pokemon) in order of revenue#and obvs pokemon was the top. bc of factors like the trading cards so thats how that came up#we didnt bet any of our points btw but we almost! got it right! the order was pk/mn dora spidamen friends (the tv seies) but we had spidman#as second. but we still won!! our team is on a two game winning streak!!! we always split the money so next week ill get another 8 dolla >:3#wow i havent hit tag limit yert#lol. yall'll open the 'see all tags' thing and boom. do you love the color of the sky type shit 😭😭😭#sorry that sounds too much like aave. i (white baby) cant be sayin that#cherrys kandi#okay well i had a tag with a verse from the ultimarw showdown bc i didnt know what else to say#but with my kandi tag and these two tags i have hit tag limit. thank you folks ill be here all night
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Was this book fun? Mostly. Was every SINGLE part of it so deeply predictable? Absolutely.
#it dragged a lot imo#every single thing? predictable#plot twist? reveal? character death?#got them all in one#readin journal#a fate inked in blood#like I am not immune to Vikings#but I wish a SINGLE thing had gotten me like OH HO THE PLOT THICKENS#anyway back to the drawing board boys#Bjorn was fine#I will admit to enjoying him well enough#freya also fine like girl I get it#but you could go ape shit
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every time the legend of chavo guerrero comes up on shuffle i feel like i gotta jump up to my feet its so high energy. my personal equivalent to the hallelujah chorus i guess
#look high! its MY LAST HOPE!!!!!!!1#yes im mountain goats blogging more than usual but sarah got me. concert ticket. for the birthday#so im in going ape shit mode
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as soon as all yhe fragmem charas drop i need some pretty official art that i can use for a new theme
#✧ chatting !#ouuuuu new chara !!!! in the morning !!!!#unfortunately i have to go to school my dad got mad at me and told me i Had to go bc my job was beinf a student . . . even tho im literally—#—not gonna be doing shit bc its thurs + the end of the 9wks no teacher is giving out actual work unless theyre ap 😭#bleghh. i mean i guess hes right in a way but its still annoying#sighs
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times u rly notice u have adhd tho is in class. always been this way too. it blows my mind to see ppl in class for the most part..... standing still... i cant do that shit. im changing positions constantly im rocking back and forth im fiddling w my hands im chewing on something im drawing im looking everywhere just like. anything. and unless a class is either something im rly rly interested in, or its difficult enough to actually use my full brain capacity, even if i care and i find it mostly interesting actually listening 100% is damn near impossible for me
#so much of elementary middle highschool and shit etc teachers would get on my case for#always moving around or always drawing in class but its like dude sorry#id try to explain even before i knew what adhd was like. im not drawing bc im not paying attention but i NEED to be able to draw to pay#attention. i CANT just listen to u talk its grueling its so hard like i will absorb so much more information and be able to focus if you#d o let me doodle or whatever else pls dear god#also sorry to say but. in the vast majority of classes ive been in including ap and university classes theyre not difficult enough to#actually require my full attention 🤷♀️ like im sorry its not my fault that i always get stuff done faster and understand whats happening#and thus become bored out of my mind with a slow pace or going over things i already got 20 min ago
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Oh btw that Never Let Me Go episode ruuuuuuuuled
#it just gets better and better#phuwin was not lying that episode was hella romantic#and i'm so glad nuengpalm got some positive elder role models to normalize happiness for them#i DO think palm needs to meet someone who teaches him about d/s#because the fact that he likes being ordered around and serving palm romantically def complicates his confusion about his role#ben made me feel for him 100% aw and i'm soooo relieved chopper is a good boy#i will support him if he just goes ape shit but i love a narrative like this where he's navigating so much and staying so good#i am a bit team phum not in how he's terrorizing nuengdiao and anyone who associates with him#but in that his grievances w/ nueng's parents are kinda legit#but nueng shutting the fuck down the idea that non's gratitude to the family justifies servility on any level#makes me think the narrative gets that to at least some extent#so i'm interested in where things will go since tanya is a beloved figure who had one of the best parental reactions to a kid coming out#ever#but she's still the head of a corporate empire with a mafia underbelly#yk?????#i love nueng for just not even touching the idea that his dad was so benevolent in that moment#he didn't even go there! it's besides the point! we don't own you! you don't owe us your life! it's your life!#so proud of him#also: SO PROUD OF PALM for really taking up space this episode#flirting with his WHOLE chest being honest about his feelings#a beautiful beautiful thing to witness!#never let me go#never let me go spoilers
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I'm about to be so tired ghejeje
#os already tored fot rh same reaspns#been tring to microdose sleep forna bit moght just have to dp yh tadks mow#not honna edit yis. yall get yo dee the raw footage tnight#ok alarm done im up for real now 🤞🤞🤞#also i did not allow enough time actually lol#please let me qork let me work let me WORK#thats all i need baby just be a working good body/brain for a few more hours so i can get this shit in please and thank you#oughh..ok#ok im done with 2/3 of the things.. just gotta do number 3 okay you got this baby go fuckinf batshit go wild do that homework cockslayer#ouuu ra ra ra#sorry don't mind me I'm tryna hype myself up#the first paper was shocking easy but now i gotta figure out another idea#girl i got TWO ap tests on wednesday... i can't study OR sleep for them bc of this shit. ik it's my fault but what the helllll#ive never done 2 in one day before so im a Little Worried BUT at least one of them's lit analysis which is like. my niche#at least it is in a way economics n government n shit Arent Quite
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