#got mad at the thought that people saw me present female and now wont take me seriously anymore or see me as a man

[anemoa]

do i finally understand the fandango that is going on with my gender?

[herwritingartcowboy]

She Can Be My Weapon

A/n: As I am getting my Genshin request ready I thought to put this out there.

Fandom: Chainsaw Man

Character(s): War Devil (Yoru), Asa Mitaka

Warning(s): X

Readers Gender: Female

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You were one of the only people Mitaka can say she truly loved as you were her first friend. Yes you would vanish from here and there but you will always make it up to her as your part time job needed you and she understood and how can she get mad at you.

When she became the War Devil it was hard for her to face you as she didn't want Yoru to do anything to you so she tried to avoid you. But that didn't stop you from getting the truth so you invited yourself over to her place. And with skills you got from a certain red head you used some tricks for her to spill as you notice a big scar forming on her face and facial expression wasn't of shyness more of confidence.

"So your the one this girl talk about huh" "So you are a devil how cute", you spoke soft as you tried to cut the girls cheek. "What do you think about doing" "I just want to know what your up to but if you won't tell me I will find out on my own" "Oh so your push but say how would you like becoming my partner" "Sorry I don't date Devils as I am a woman with taste but I would think about what your doing to this girl", with your words it was mixed reactions from Mitaka and Yoru as Yoru was staring to take an interest in you herself and Mitaka was only trying not to think about how close you are.

With that you learned about their plans and agreed to help but only if you wont be turned into a weapon and if so you choose which one.

For you it was weird on how you had two women falling for you, as Mitaka would show little jesters and Yoru would make you sure you know she has been falling for you. At Least you felt you were understanding that white haired woman you met that time.

But With you it made Yoru and Mitaka argue a nit more as they both wanted to protect you but had different ideas.

Yoru, became i love with your confidence the moment she saw you and the way you present yourself. With that she is still thinking about turning you into a weapon but for now she will put it on hold. She wants you to fight along side her as she wants to show you how strong she is and take over the world together with nothing but war.

Mitaka, she feel in love with your kindness on how you showed her friendship no else had. And was thankful that you never told anyone her secret or blames her you only just laid her head on your chest. She wants to put you away from danger and yes she knows you are a very strong woman, one of the reasons she loves you, but she doesn't want to risk you getting hurt.

So congrats to you you made two women fall for you.

(Not My Best But I Promise I Will Write A better one)

[twinklelilstarkey]

hi i don’t know if you write about mental health problems or anything but if you do, please could you write a billy butcher x female reader where you’re his gf and it’s gotten really bad but he takes care of you ?? sorry i know it’s a bit much but i’m going through it tbh ://

A/N: You and me both, my love. Hope everything gets better for you.

I wrote this based mainly on anxiety since is the one I’m most acquainted with.

Words: 1.9k+

Summary: Billy gives you advice on your anxiety.

Warnings: Female!Reader. Mentions of anxiety. Mentions of stress over college work. Slight age gap is mentioned, but you can imagine it as big or as small as you want, literally, anyone can be a college student. College Student Problems!

You have been having an extreme hard time with college. Teachers like to believe that any student can easily work under extreme pressure, so they like to schedule all tests and essays in a space of a week and a half.

With all of that, it means that you need to study with many weeks in advance and hope that you won’t mix all the information in your head and get confused. As well as... Take as less breaks possible.

That may sound ridiculous to many, and you’re 100% sure that any doctor would yell at you if they had heard you say that, (since breaks are ALWAYS NEEDED), but you just can’t bring yourself to take breaks.

It’s both mentally and physically impossible. You already can’t sleep that well; you can’t eat that much or even focus on other things other than your notes and books (you had previously grabbed at the library).

Everyone that hangs out with you knows that you’re a very anxious person by nature, but they never saw you like this. And if they had to admit, it is quite scary.

Your boyfriend, Billy, who also lives with you, has been blind to it all. It’s not his fault. You try to hide it as much from him as possible. And he’s also out of the house for most of the day and only sees you when he comes back before dinner.

He has noticed your jumpy leg under the table, bloody bottom lip (from you biting it) and especially how less you eat. But like I said before, you’re an anxious person by nature.

Billy doesn’t see your daily mental breakdowns or hears you giving yourself a pep talk when in the shower, because he’s almost never present whenever something important happens between the boys.

But everything will change today.

And that is because today is a Friday that Billy decided to take off ‘work’ to stay home and relax, while you, on the other hand, will spend it with online classes and studying.

You lean back on your desk chair, finding it awfully uncomfortable after so many days sitting in that same position, and sigh loudly while looking at the PowerPoint that is being projected on the Zoom call.

Your webcam is on, yet your microphone is off, making your sounds of pure frustration be silent to others that could possibly see you.

The TV in the other room is on by what  you can hear over your headphones, and you’re pretty sure that Billy is sitting on the couch bingewatching a random ‘police drama’, as always.

He has made his appearance at least once on the background of your screen, which caught some people’s attention. But other than that, he has been leaving you in your corner to peacefully have your class.

You continue to take notes of what your teacher is saying silently as your mind runs miles an hour, always taking your attention somewhere else.

“You alright there?”

You turn your chair a bit to the side and look over your shoulder at the doorway behind you, looking at the owner of the deep voice and the British accent.

“Yeah” You say with a quick fake smile before turning back around to look at the screen.

“You sure?”

You nod, knowing that he can see your head (the chair’s back is not that tall).

“Alright,” He says before walking off to somewhere in your apartment.

(...)

Lunch went rather well. You ate as much as you could, which wasn’t a lot. But Billy’s cursing at the news were enough to keep your mind occupied for that short while. Other than that, your day has been like any other day of this week.

You’re officially done with your online classes for today, but unfortunately, you still need to study.

You have been reading your notes and small bits of the books the teachers told you to study with, for the past… what you believe, hour, but nothing seemed to make sense.

You’ve tried changing up a few words in the sentences, for simpler words, in hopes that your brain will soon catch the meaning as it sounds simpler... but nothing of the sort is happening.

Your eyes have filled with frustrated tears at least 10 times since you started, making the reading quite difficult. But as for right now, you are letting those tears roll down your face in complete defeat.

People do say that you shouldn’t hold back your tears, right? That it will always feel better once you stop?

Yeah, that is true. But they forgot to mention that it only lasts 10 minutes.

You sniffle while wiping the tears off your face, throwing the pencil down at the desk in pure frustration, before leaning back on the chair.

“Are you okay?” Billy asks from behind you, probably on his way to the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah” you say while wiping your tears quickly, “My nose just started running for no reason”

A silence is set and for a few seconds you believe that he has walked away, but that was until you felt his warm hand rest over your shoulder.

“Runny nose that created tears?” He asks in a slight ironic tone.

You don’t answer him, yet his hand gives your shoulder a small squeeze.

“Get up, let’s go to the living room” He says in a whisper.

“I can’t” you say, not taking your eyes off your notebooks, “I need to keep studying”

“I’m sure you can take a break”

You sigh loudly, trying to rearrange your feelings before looking up at the older man.

“I need to keep studying” You repeat.

Your sad tone was way more noticeable to Billy this time, and he caught it right as you said the first word.

“How long has it been since you took a break?”

“I’ve been here since lunch”

Butcher’s eyes widen at your words and his mouth falls agape.

“It’s almost 5pm, what do you mean since lunch?”

You shrug as an answer before taking a quick look at your phone, checking if Butcher isn’t lying about the time, and he’s not.

His mind runs with thoughts about you probably feeling exhausted, while yours just run around the idea of another day almost being over and you haven’t even started to understand this new chapter.

You try to grab your pencil back from the table but Billy, in that same second, snatches it off your hand and puts it back down.

“Get up in your two little feet and walk your arse over to the couch”

You, surprisingly, do as told, once noticing his change of tone, as well as his change of facial expression. He looks slightly annoyed, but also, worried.

You walk off the bedroom, Billy right behind you, not even a meter away.

Once your body collides down into the soft surface of the couch, Butcher lets out a loud sigh, also taking his seat.

“Have you been doing this routine every day?” He asks, looking over at you.

“Yeah. I mean, kinda,” you answer, shrugging again, “it depends on what classes I’m having”

“Have you eaten anything since lunch?”

“No, I’m not hungry”

“How? You almost didn’t even eat anything today”

“I just feel nauseous every time I smell or see food, I can’t eat, Billy” you say, with a sadder expression taking over your face.

“And why do you not take breaks?”

“I don’t have time for breaks”

“Honey, 15 minutes wouldn’t hurt you” he says, making you look away, knowing that he won’t understand your side, “You know that”

“Yeah, I know that. But what are breaks when my mind just stays on that stupid piece of paper the whole time?” You ask, “I’ve tried everything to keep my mind occupied with something else, believe me! I just can’t relax until I got all of this sorted in my head”

“I get it, love” He says in a calmer tone, as if he was trying to calm you down with his voice, “But you know that if you’re non stop studying, at some point, your brain just wont grab anything that you’re reading, right?”

You stay silent.

“I’ve studied for college as well. No degree is easy, love, that’s for sure. I know how stressful it is, and how it feels when you don’t have your own stuff under control” His hand rests over yours, “But you don’t have to destroy your mental health because of it”

“What if it’s my mental health destroying itself and not me destroying it?”

“Well… You are sure helping it” He admits, “If your mind is worried about something from when you wake up to when you go to sleep, all you could do to relax is get a distraction, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ve tried everything”

“I’m sure you didn’t try everything, babes” He gives your hand a little squeeze, “There’s millions of options. Try not to read if you space-out too much, and try, I don’t know, watch one of those highly chaotic videos you like to watch. I’m sure those one’s will leave your mind more than occupied”

A small smile grows on your lips as you hear his words and you take a deep breath.

“And what do I do if I continue to not be able to understand anything?”

“I’m sure you understand something. You take notes like a mad woman when in class” he says with a joking tone.

“I’m serious”

“I know you are, princess. But this is not the first time you’ve felt this much pressure because of school, is it?” You shake your head, “And every time you lived past this type of shit, you were able to do every test and every essay right on time. And most of them with fucking amazing grades!” He says with a smile at the end.

There’s some silence between the two of you.

“I know it feels like it’s impossible to live through this right now, but believe me, there’s always someone in a worst situation than you, yet still is able to live their lives with smiles on their faces. If they can do it, I’m more than fucking sure you can do it 200 times better”

A silence is set between the two of you again, this time, a little longer than before.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I know it sounds impossible right now, but just try and focus on something else. Leave all of that for tomorrow”

As good as that sounds, you feel a little hesitant. Billy lifts his hand from yours and brings it over to your head, caressing it as you look down at the ground.

“I’m just scared that I won’t be able to pass these tests”

Butcher, with your words, leans forward and presses a kiss on the side of your head, over your hair.

“I would offer you my help if I could” He says making a sympathetic smile appear over your lips, “But I don’t even understand a word from what you write down”

A chuckle escapes your lips and you look back up at him.

“I can always ask Hughie for help” He offers.

“I would love that. Thank you.”

You wrap one of your arms around Billy’s torso and lean your head over his shoulder. Butcher responds quickly to your actions by wrapping his own arms around you, pulling you closer to him.

Billy leans his head to the side, laying it right on yours, and you snuggle closer to him once feeling his warmth envelop your colder body.

“Here” He says, before passing you the remote.

As soon as you start surfing through the channels, Billy remembers something.

“Start thinking about what you want for dinner” He says, “You’ll be eating a whole 3 course meal tonight, young lady”

- - - - - - 

Hope you liked this!!!

[boqvistsbabe]

storytime (kind of) mother frickers

so i like this guy. this guy that is literally my best guy friend and i have known him for three years, almost four. and like every single other guy i have liked i knew around the time when i met them that i was probably gonna like them at some point. so yeah whatever i liked them now i don’t. i didn’t like anyone for the longest time and then randomly i like started feeling like i like this guy (my friend) lets call him uh Adam (tbh that is just about as far from his name as you could get lol) and like this hit me out of nowhere. because like basically when we met we friend-zoned each other without having to do so, which makes no sense whatsoever but who cares. and like this whole idea of this started last school year when his cousin randomly walked into the classroom i was staying in after school to work on memorization for some things and it was near Valentine’s Day and he was like anyone wanna be my cousin’s gf and me, knowing that this is Adam’s cousin said no why and he explained why basically and then that was the start of him calling me literally every single time he saw me Adam’s gf. I denied every single time and this went on for the rest of the year. and like one time on the after school bus Adam’s cousin got on before him and sat down and when Adam walked on to the bus his cousin said that his gf was on the bus and he (and i know that he actually did this bc i looked up right at this getting ready to turn around and yell at his cousin) Adam looked right at me and his cousin said “he even looked dead at you” and then the rest of the busride was his cousin trying to get us together by asking me question (like “do you like guys that can sing” “well duh” “do you like guys with abs” “well duh”) and then he started singin “I Wanna Dance With Somebody for no reason and I finshed the song for him and he said “see look you can sing too you guys would be great together” (and that opens another can of worms that is not in this story) and i said but i really can’t and he was like but you realy can. and during all of this Adam said nothing to either of us. and around a few weeks after that i started liking somebody so i was still like whatever and nothing more happened last year basically. and like then this year came along and i didnt like that other guy anymore and like was really focused on like my friends and shit like that. like then two of his other friends (that im kinda friends with but not really) started like suggesting people that they could set me up with for hoco (the two friends and i have the same bio class together and we sat near each other at the time) and i would decline every single guy and then they said Adam’s name and I was like no we’re friends (because at the time i still didn’t like him) and then the boys proceeded to say stuff like “you do like him” “look you’re blushing” things like that (something they do not realize was that when i get angry or frustrated or whatever i tend to turn red or at least pink) and then one of them threw a ship name for us out there and then it was a thing and like then he proceeded (when i did not answer them anymore) to sit in the empty chair next to me and go “aw please don’t be mad at me I don’t want you mad at me” (i wasn’t that mad and we were all having fun and he was joking) and i proceeded to ignore him and he got closer and said the same thing (also if this had happened about one and a halfish years ago i wouldve been freaking out because i used to like him, a lot) and i said i wasn’t mad and we were fine. until he (when we were going around the room and grading other people’s papers) when i came back to my seat and said something about my paper he was like “oh that’s your paper” and i said “yeah it literally has my name on it” he walks over takes my paper and writes something on it and ten gives me my paper back and he wrote Adam and I’s ship name in marker on my paper. at least i didn’t have to turn that in or i mightve killed him. and so like whatever didn’t like him still just confused on why everybody (including some of my other really close friends) think we should get together. and then like i feel like it was a slow realization of how amazing he is (bc like lemme be honest here he is really sweet and funny and like everything that the others weren’t which sounds cliche but like ugh i just cannot describe how much i wanted the other guys i have liked to be like him)  and like i told two of my other best friends and they think he is nice. and like lately him and i are around each other more and stuff and we talk even more than before and mess with each other and stuff. and then one of my other friends randomly asks me before she leaves the lunchroom if i like him and i say no bc like this is all weird for me and shit and she says okay and walks away even with me asking her why she asked and her not telling me. and then i get my other friend to ask her through text and she wont answer. and the other day he took my hair tie thingy (idk what it is called) one of these: 

after i was messing with it and said that i wasn’t going to get it back. then wears it the rest of the day and cool im not freaking out internally at all. and there is no way people wont connect that it is mine bc it is just one of the clear ones and my hair is blueish at the ends so it died the hair tie thingy and im the only one with that color hair. and then we go on a five day break from school and i find out from my friend why my other friend asked that. and she asked because SHE THOUGHT WE WERE DATING! i obviously am so fine with that even though we aren’t. but i was like why did she think that and my friend was like bc y’all are always together and stuff. and then we get to today and so i find out that he lost the other one and then he took the one i had today (which i am fine with this i have multiple and he asked to make sure it was okay and i said it was he then asked like two more times just to make sure) and then i took his pencil and since i wouldn’t give it back he took my hoodie and put the hood on his head on wore it like that until i gave him his pencil back. and then like there is this thing he can do which is popping the joints closer to the end of your finger and i can’t do that but he did it to my fingers the other day (and as i am typing this i realize how weird it sounds) and now it has become our thing kind of. and like i love it. bc it involves him wrapping his hand around mine. so yeah love it. and then i proceed to mess with him for the rest of the hour. and yeah. and then when i get to lunch later i see him with his friends and like i can see the hair tie thing on his wrist and it brings me so much joy idk why but it does. and then i was talking to my friend and was like idk why people think we are dating and she said that it is because we basically are just not officially. and then i was like what hold the phone and back it up. and like she went over that again and said that quite a few people have thought we were dating in the past and had asked her if Adam and I were dating and she had said no obviously and i was like how do i not know this. and she said bc i never told you and then t=she proceeded to tell me how her herself has shipped him and I for quite a while but did it on the DL and now her and my friend that asked if i liked him are shipping us on the DL and my friend that asked is gonna ask him if he likes me bc he doesnt know how close we are and will be more likely to tell her than me or my other friend. and like i know he is gonna say know and like i want him to say that he does. but like he wont. and even if he does there are some problems like i can’t date yet which like has never been a problem till now, even when i had my 6th grade “boyfriend” my mom didn’t know and i didn’t care bc i was fine with a relationship on the DL with him but Adam is someone i want a real relationship with you know. like i don’t want it hidden. and i want ground rules obviously and my friend said that i could just do what she did and just talk to her mom about it and present the situation very adult like and stuff like she did. which like i can and my mom knows him so it might work. but then there is the fact that he doesn’t like me so it doesn’t matter but like there are signs that point towards him actually liking me but im not that stupid. he has so many female friends that are cooler and prettier and smarter and so just more better than me so like why would he like me. idk what to do. this is like really crazy for me rn and i dont wanna lose my friend so yay.

that was really boring sorry but i needed an outlet and idk what to do but if yall have any advice please tell me