#gosh. gosh. i need a moment fucking hell

[kxsagi]

HEYYYY I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOUR WORKS!! And also, are perhaps a fan of f1? If you are, can you please make a blue lock boys x f1 driver!reader? I think it’s a cool crossover and I haven’t seen a lot of them in the blue lock fandom so it would be nice to have new contents💗

“𝐯𝐚 𝐯𝐚 𝐯𝐨𝐨𝐦”

a/n: THANK YOU BABES!!!

i'm not a serious fan, but i do think that F1 is cool as hell and i would def be down to see the movie!

ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, shidou ryusei, kaiser michael, karasu tabito, and barou shoei

isagi yoichi

isagi’s already obsessed with reading plays, so the moment he saw you overtaking two cars on a rainy track at 300 km/h, he short-circuited. 

“did you see how she predicted that corner?? she didn’t even brake. she’s literally– oh my gosh i’m in love with her.” 

he’s your biggest cheerleader. he wears your merch to blue lock practice. he made his own "driver! you x isagi" twitter account and keeps replying “W” under every race win post. 

he tries to relate by talking about how football also requires good reflexes and team strategy… but you once let him sit in your simulator and he crashed in 0.4 seconds. 

“yoichi, there’s a wall, don’t–” BOOM 

refuses to let you drive him anywhere but gets incredibly flustered when you call him “slowpoke.” 

“i’m not slow! you’re just– you’re literally trained for this!!” 

when you bring him to a race for the first time, he wore noise-cancelling headphones, sunscreen, and packed three bottles of water. boy was acting like he was going to war. 

itoshi rin

rin swears he doesn’t care, but he has your race schedule memorized down to the millisecond. 

“you’re racing in monaco this week, right? i checked the weather. track’s gonna be tricky. don’t fuck it up.” 

he says that with his arms crossed, standing outside your trailer with a bag full of fresh fruit and electrolyte drinks. 

jealous of your car. not in a weird way, just bitter. “why does she talk to the car like that. i swear i heard her say ‘good girl.’” 

you offered to take him for a lap once and he glared at you like you just insulted his entire bloodline. 

secretly goes insane when he sees you in your race suit. he pretends not to look, but his eye twitches. 

if anyone tries to flirt with you on the grid, rin is immediately in silent death glare mode. 

“are they your engineer or something?” “that’s the FIA president.” “okay. and?” 

itoshi sae

sae fell for you the moment you told a reporter to “grow a pair” when they asked if racing as a woman was “too dangerous.” 

has a very dry but deeply supportive boyfriend style. posts one photo of you on his story like “podium again. cool.” 

but he’s literally watching the livestream, checking your sector times, and texting your team principal like “she needs new tires. tell her.” 

when he visits the paddock, everyone’s scared of him. it’s giving silent, rich, bored, and disgusted by most people. 

you once threw your helmet in rage after a DNF and he simply picked it up, handed you a water bottle, and said: “you’ll destroy them next week. now stop sulking.” 

secretly wants to kiss you after every race, but acts like he’s too cool for PDA. 

when you crash for the first time (even if it’s minor), he FLIES out of his seat and almost decks a camera guy on his way to the medical center. 

nagi seishiro

“woah, you drive go-karts for a living? sick.” “… it’s formula 1, sei.” 

doesn’t know what’s going on most of the time, but loves tagging along because the seats are comfy and you keep winning. 

he finds the speed kind of fun… until you take him drifting in a parking lot at night. 

“okay i’m gonna throw up. i saw my soul leave my body.” 

nags you to buy him team jackets in every color. now he’s got the full outfit: oversized jacket, hat, lanyard, and even a custom “NAGI” headset. 

he once got bored during qualifying and fell asleep in the hospitality suite. woke up when you won pole and went: “yay, good job, babe.” 

his phone background is you mid-race with your visor down. you asked him why and he went: “you look like a cool villain. i like it. run me over, next?” 

mikage reo

THE MOST SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND EVER. he’s literally built to be a paddock husband. 

walks around the grid with a rolex, sunglasses, and a laminated pass with “DRIVER GUEST - REO MIKAGE” like it’s the met gala. 

screams when you overtake someone. leaps up in celebration like he just won the world cup. 

“SHE’S P1! SHE’S P1, BABY, LET’S GOOOO!!!” 

once tried to bribe your race engineer to let him wear your helmet for “just one picture.” 

owns every possible merch item with your face on it. mousepads. pillows. tote bags. even a personalized coffee mug that says “#1 DRIVER GIRLFRIEND.” 

he is so down bad every time you take your gloves off. 

“how are your hands so hot when you just drove for 2 hours straight. what the hell. marry me.” 

already planning a rich people wedding at a racetrack. he’s dead serious. 

shidou ryusei

“babe. listen. let me ride on top of the car. just once. just while it’s moving. i need the rush.” 

absolute menace in the paddock. he’s not allowed to touch anything anymore after he once tried to rev the engine mid-setup. 

he finds everything about you so hot. the danger. the speed. the fact that you can do donuts in a $20 million car. 

“yo that crash was INSANE– wait, you’re okay right? good. now that crash was SICK.” 

wears your race suit around the house. nothing else. 

makes out with you after every race like it’s the end of the world. doesn’t care who’s watching. 

he yells your name from the grandstands. not even cheers. just: “I’M GONNA PROPOSE IF YOU WIN THIS!!!” 

and when you do win, he’s already climbing over fences like a madman. 

kaiser michael

he thinks you’re a goddess. 

he first saw you doing a victory burnout and now refuses to shut up about it. 

“do you know how fucking cool you are? i should be the one asking for your autograph.” 

ultra cocky boyfriend energy but he melts when you call him your “pit crew” after a long race. 

“pit crew? i’d change your tires with my teeth.” 

literally flexes you like a trophy. has you as his lockscreen, home screen, and contact photo. your name in his phone is “speed demon 🏎️❤️” 

gets super into the sport. buys your whole team dinner when you win. roasts rival drivers. 

“that guy behind you? yeah. he’s shaking. peed himself probably.” 

you let him sit in your car once and he wouldn’t get out. said “i live here now.” 

karasu tabito

okay so karasu is OBSESSED. 

he is a strategy nerd and immediately starts watching all your onboard footage, analyzing your corner exits like it's his life mission. 

“babe, you’re literally the queen of late braking. who taught you that? marry me.” 

wears a team jacket with your number embroidered on the sleeve. brags about you to everyone. 

“oh yeah my girl drives 350 km/h for a living. no biggie. she could probably drift better than you walk.” 

flirts with you while you're driving. always. 

“focus on the road,” you say. 

“oh i am, baby. especially when you’re in the driver's seat.” 

you once did donuts in a parking lot while he stood in the middle hyping you up with his phone camera. 

top commenter on all your socials: “she fast AND hot??? how is this legal???” 

barou shoei

he thought you were insane. like clinically insane. 

“why the hell would you drive that fast for that long. on purpose.” 

barou is a control freak and hates the idea of not being in charge, so the first time he sat shotgun while you were driving he nearly screamed. 

he clutched the seat. he held onto the door. he made you swear on your life not to drift again. 

“I SAID TURN LEFT, NOT LAUNCH INTO ORBIT–” 

but he deeply respects your work ethic and competitiveness. 

says stuff like “don’t let those bastards pass you” while tying your gloves for you pre-race. 

and when you win? he goes feral. 

doesn’t even celebrate, just pulls you into his arms and says “that’s my girl.” 

also the only one who glares at paparazzi until they get scared and run. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[solmire]

Author's note: this scene takes a place before car accident.

deaf!gojo masterlist full mlist

So loud. 

A Cacophony of mind-blowing noises. 

Everything around Gojo is clicking, clacking. Someone’s voice bounces off the walls, creating the feeling of drowning in his head. A common cafeteria of one of the best universities in Japan.

‘Oh gosh, life would be better if I were deaf.’ Only the thought of not being able to hear anything and living in peace calms his overstimulated mind, returning him to the letter in his hands - with the little hearts and “To: Satoru” on the bottom right corner.

“The same handwriting… Unfortunately, no sweet treats this time.” Satoru disappointedly mumbles under his breath. He is about to open the letter when someone suddenly slams a designer bag down in front of him.

“What the hell are you doing here, Gojo?! What did I tell you?!” Pretty girl’s face was grimacing with anger and disapproval toward the guy in front of her. “Why do I always need to wait for you to be done?! Son of a bitch!”

At this moment, the headache has become a constant. Nothing could beat Amaya’s tantrums and hysterics - always screaming like her life depends on the volume of her voice. Even the fall of aluminum dishes on the tile won’t win the battle against her high-pitch screams.

“Oh god, you know, society would work better if you changed your major from linguistics to being a megaphone. You need to consider this idea!” Despite growing migraine, he doesn’t let his guard go down, always fast with his cheeky remark. 

“I hate you! What the fuck are you holding?!” Amaya instantly forgets the reason for her tantrum, attention fully shifted to the letter in Gojo’s hands. “Again these stupid letters?! These bitches are so pathetic!  Give it to me!”

He doesn’t have time to react, as the letter is already in her hands and in the shortest possible seconds she tears it to pieces. 

“I am done with you, Gojo! Sukuna will take me there if you are so scared to drive a car, mama’s boy.” She turns around on her high louboutins  and storms out  of the cafeteria.

“Amaya, wait. I told you that my fear didn’t come out of nowhere. Something is wrong with my car-” He is trying to reach for her, leaving the cafeteria.

You were sitting two tables behind him, waiting for the moment when he finds out about you. You’d poured your heart into this letter a few days ago, thinking it’s the right way to confess.

You slowly approach the table where Satoru had been just minutes ago. Pieces of your love are lying around, you are squatting down to take a look. One of the nearest was with your name on it. 

That day you left the cafeteria with that torn piece of your love and a new note in your diary.

‘Loving deeply is my gift not my curse. There is the possibility of never being the one who is loved, at least, I know that my love is pure, that’s all I need.’

Taglist: @someonenamedray @totallyuniquenut @not-aya @pinacoladagod @lumilarity @rh-tg1 @luv3nti @thequeenofcurses @arrozyfrijoles23 @hel1nn @luna-v-roiya @p1nkfl0wers @iwriteforlove @gloomysel

[iqxatlantic]

heyyyy love your fics <333

can you do sugar daddy Kaiser who's always been rude and rough with reader but one day when he realises he's falling in love with them he's really gentle, asking how they feel and praising them? if possible can you do fluff along with nsfw???

ahh hii anon!! thank uu i appreciate ur words <33 anywayss i love the plot ohh gosh ygs r so creative omg

"And all I wanna do is stay with HER"

ft. michael kaiser . sugar daddy! kaiser . ooc! kaiser lol... . ness is in the story omg! . is ness ooc! too... . yes ness is ooc asw . character development.? . eventual smut . sex gulp... . piv ! . afab! reader . mistreated! reader ... . fluff asw . unreliable narrator

wc: 1.0k

"she's annoying." kaiser grumbled, taking a sip of wine. ness looked at him, "[name] cares about you that's why." the magician tried to lighten the mood. clearly, it didn't work.

"she just wants fucking money." he retorted. ness frowned, "can't you look at it in a positive way.? at least she's trying. take a look at all the others you've had."

that sentence had kaiser reflecting for a bit. "huh. i suppose you have a point for once, ness." the prodigy felt himself get a little flushed. "you're treating her so rough, how often does she even ask for money.?" ness continued. "don't be so harsh man! she's trying..."

the emperor tsked. "if she's so 'perfect' you take her then." he grumbled. jeez this guy is really helpless man... ness looked at kaiser disgusted for the first time.

"keep acting like that and she's bound to become who you think she really is." ness thought as he picked himself up and left kaiser to his thoughts.

later within the night, kaiser found himself scrolling through your photos after sending you some money (oh need that.) it hit him you were gorgeous. pretty face with a kind heart.. he was going to go insane.

the more he scrolled the more he admired your beauty. you radiated an aura that he just couldn't place his finger on. perfection was a word too vague to describe it.

shaking his head, he set his phone down. hands on his head, he was wondering. what the literal hell was he doing.? all he's ever done was treat you like shit because he had such horrendous experiences with others.

i mean, you were like the others. you were just there for the money... and attention i guess. but there was something more to it. he was just to blind to see it. (tf r ur glasses for mihya bro.)

it was late — hella late. 2:32 A.M.? there's no way you'd come over right? so what the heck were you doing at his door in a matter of moments?

kaiser opened his door, surprised. "you — you actually came?" he asked, somewhat in disbelief. "i'm right here aren't i, dumbass.. plus you called." you shrugged.

the satin on the bed somewhat wrinkled as the both of you sat down. "um, so why'd you want me to come ove-" you were quickly interrupted by an apology. "[name], liebling. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for my behaviour, how i treated you. scheiße, i'm so fuckin' sorry."

he held your visibly smaller and softer hands. his hands feeling quite the opposite. you were kinda a dumbass, "wha — michael huh...?" you shook your head giggling, "what are you apologizing for?"

his gorgeous blue eyes stared into yours. "don't act coy with me, [name]. you don't need to forgive me. i'll do whatever for your forgiveness. please. do you want more money? gifts.? flowers..? wha.. god. what do you want?!" kaiser asked desperately.

you looked at him with a deadpan expression. god, has this man ever been treated alright.? "mihya, i don't really want anything. yea i mean i love money i mean — who doesn't love money. but i'm not here solely because of money." you sighed.

"yes, you have money is definitely a positive trait but, you have more to it. money isn't the only thing that makes you lovable." you continued to ramble. his hands released yours. you were caught in his embrace.

"mihya.?" you whispered. kaiser knew how scary it was to love someone. the amount of devotion you must give. the time and effort. one wrong move? it could all crumble.

his embrace got tighter, you were tensing a little bit up. was he gonna beat you like what the heck is goin' on?! he knew you were always running away from love, 'cause your daddy never gave you enough :((

hey, same for him as well, no? "meine liebe." kaiser breathed, "let's try again together. i'm done with the 'you deserve better' bullshit. i have the choice to be better and i'm taking it."

he loosened his embrace on you, hands on your shoulders. you met his gaze. all it could scream was blue of desperation. not going to even lie, most dedication you've seen in your whole life.

you were still skeptical — hell, i can't blame you! you've been mistreated all the time by partners, getting taken advantage of... what change is this rich and attractive man going to do? he has the money, the women ugh... thinking about it made your head hurt.

"what do you say, liebling. let me show you.?" he leaned in, mumbling into your ear. hah! as if you'd believe what he said and give him a chance.

kaiser would be lying if he said he didn't regret making up with you earlier. he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss you. hell! every bit of fiber within him missed you! his lips on yours, oh gosh. he's going crazy. :c

a little while after what was supposed to be a sweet make out, he found himself aligning his tip to your slit. you had glossy eyes as you stared back up at him. he had you pinned onto the bed...

"are you sure?" he asked stroking your stomach, his hands then tracing your curves. "fuu-uck. you're perfect." he mumbled. you nodded in response.

as he buried his length into your warmth he swore he got sent to heaven. "sh-shit.. scheißescheißescheiße...! please you're made for me..." he continued, his lips once more pressed onto yours.

nah, at this point his cock was stretching your opening... it hurt. kaiser broke off the kiss as he groaned, "you take me so damn well.. i'm sorry for being so horrid to you."

you were practically crying, was it cause the sex was good? cause of kaiser? you didn't know! "m-hya.." you sobbed out so sweetly. it was kaiser's last straw.

your walls were sucking his member in man..! how could he not..? your noises could kill him oh gosh! one last thrust and his length was kissing your womb :c "i'm sorry meine liebe, i-" the emperor didn't even get to finish his sentence as he finished in you <3

he pulled out just to push his fingers back in. admiring your form and expression. maaaan, kaiser couldn't ask for a better girl >< dawn came, so did kaiser, 'cept he n you came multiple times :3 kaiser could make it better. all he needed was just one more day with ya.

— ©iqxatlantic / isaisliterallyhim, 2025

tags !! : @twijaxx ♡, @kyvkc

a/n: hey guys.. hey anon.. guess who's finally back heh... my writers block actually fried me so bad its diabolical man.. yes i lost motivation half way along w the plot tbf i had this in my drafts for 2 weeks or smth... i'm so sorry if this wasn't what y'all wanted ill cook for the future ones ;-; not proofread btw good GAWDDDD if kaiser was my sugar daddy man.. money and hes hot YES PLSS (no im nawt shallow but tuition fees are booty bro yall cant blame me.) yes this is all yap ALL MY NOTES ARE YAP OK </3 but um.. yay ilygs a lot mwa mwa <3

[livinginshambles]

Hear me out, please |James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.5k

Summary: The aftermath of when James found out you were his 'cinderella'. James tries desperately to get your attention to get you to hear him out. A tiny twist.

Notes: Not proofread, grammar mistakes. Timeline might be a little off, but magic so whatever i guess? Sorry for the long wait, I hope you guys will think it was worth it!!

Masterlist Part one Part two

___________________________________

A lot of things went through James' mind as he stood there in the Great Hall. You could hear a pin drop before Regulus finally shot into action and dashed out the hall to go after you.

The murmuring started to continue now that the first silence had been disturbed.

"Oh gosh, she's so dramatic," your sister laughed. And she put a hand on James' shoulder to pull him back to his seat.

James turned his head slowly. His attention zeroed in on the hand on his shoulder. He coiled away.

"What the fuck have you done," he spat at her.

Marla's eyebrows shot up. "We did you a favour," she stated, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

It sent James over the edge. He grabbed her upper arm and harshly shook it.

"A favour? A favour!?" He asked incredulously. His voice raised in volume. "What on earth is wrong with you!" He screamed and looked around; his eyes blown out. "With all of you!"

"You mean what the hell is wrong with you, James?" Your other sister, Alyssa, piped up. "Why are you defending her?" That last word was spat out with so much disgust that it opened finally James' eyes to what you must have endured. He fought the urge to slap her expression off her face.

James let go of Marla's arm and pushed her a few steps back while doing so.

No, he needed to fix this. He just had to. If you would just listen to him, he would explain it all. And then he'd protect you. From every hurtful comment out there.

If you would just let him.

"Regulus," James grimaced. The boy was blocking his path and view, standing in the doorway. You were out of sight, or at least out of James's sight.

"Potter," Regulus curtly nodded at him.

"I need to talk to her."

"You've said plenty."

James 'brows furrowed, and his jaw flexed. Why was everyone deciding everything for him all of a sudden? Why couldn't everyone just mind their own bloody business? If they had, none of this would have occurred.

He would be patrolling with you in the evening, and you would make him laugh about one of your dry remarks. He wouldn't have known that it was you who he was looking for, but in time, maybe he would've figured it out. Or maybe he would've pushed his mystery girl to the back of his mind to let you and all the new feelings in.

"Actually, I haven't. I haven't said enough because everyone is saying things in my place instead. But I never got the chance to say what I want to say, and every time I do, it seems too late. I just want to talk to her." The words flew out of James' mouth, built up regret, anger, and disappointment from how things had escalated.

"Perhaps you haven't said much." Regulus looked James up and down and weighed his words carefully. "And maybe that's part of the problem. But right now, she's certainly heard enough. She doesn't want your grand words."

James closed his eyes in frustration. He wanted to protest, he wanted to scream at himself and pull his hair out, but ultimately, he just wanted yet another chance.

He hadn't expected it to be you. Not at all, but the longer he thought about it, the more it made sense, and the more it seemed... right. And he didn't know why he had been so adamant to form some sort of relationship with you, but the way his heart blossomed when you were around only pulled him further in.

James looked at the ground, as if the solution to his problems would be written down there.

"Okay," he relented.

Without a moment of hesitation, Regulus went to slam the door in his face but stopped at the box that James held put to him.

"What's that supposed to be?" He flatly asked James.

With a heavy heart, James showed Regulus the pair of glass slippers that you had left behind at the Yule ball, and that he had so carefully carried around with him.

James searched for his words his. "I've been holding on to these to return them to their owner," he made an attempt at a smile but dropped it, feeling pathetic. He wondered if he looked as pathetic to Regulus as well.

"Well, I suppose I should return them, now that I've found her." James pushed the box into Regulus' hands, threw one glance past the boy in hopes to catch a glimpse of you, and rubbed his face with both hands as he dejectedly walked away from the Slytherin dormitory.

Perhaps he could try again later.

You stared at the glass slippers in your hand. It felt cool to the touch and looked so beautiful, but you couldn’t help the bitter taste left in your mouth. With one smooth movement, you threw and smashed one of the slippers against the wall opposite of your bed. It shattered in pieces, and you had to smile at that. Even with every spell to reenforce the glass so you could actually walk on it, it broke. Then you gathered every bit of frustration you had in you, and you screamed as hard as you could, tears flowing in frustration.

You hated that you were crying. But the sheer defeat and powerlessness that you felt was too overwhelming, your voice cracked mid-scream and you threw the other slipper to pieces in anger as well. It wasn’t even about the gossiping amongst the students anymore.

You were so tired; you actually couldn’t bring yourself to care about what everyone must be thinking right now. But your sisters and James. You dug your nails into your palm.

You looked at your reflection in the mirror and straightened your posture. With your hands, you smoothed out your frown, fixed your hair and put on a wide smile. All in all, you looked psychopathic, but anything was better than pathetic. You turned on your heel and got ready for your first morning class.

James watched your empty seat in Divination class. This was the only class in which the last two years were put together. He wondered if you would show up. But he knew you. Possible more than anyone. So, he knew that you would never miss a class, because you wanted perfect grades and a perfect attendance rate. You were just like that. Ambitious.

James mind replayed your words again. He was every worst characteristic of Gryffindor; you had said to him. ‘Arrogant, prideful, and reckless’.

Next to James, Sirius was also lost in thoughts. Your words resonated in his head as well. Prejudice creates a vicious cycle. It was true. Sirius’ eyes flickered towards the other empty seat where Regulus was supposed to be. He had completely abandoned Regulus, giving his brother the cold shoulder, and despising his elitist thoughts, undoubtedly created by his mother. Because he had abandoned Regulus.

Sirius wondered what would have happened if he had tried to maintain a good relationship with Regulus after having been sorted into Gryffindor. He wondered if he would have been able to convince Regulus to run away with him.

There was a knock on the door and Regulus walked in with a blank face. He nodded his head in apology at the Professor and took a seat. The door opened again, this time with a little more force.

“My sincere apologies, professor.” You wore a smile that sent chills up James’ back. His body almost involuntarily shot up to go up to you, but he caught himself, and he longingly looked at you as you passed by instead.

After having gotten used to your discrete gestures of acknowledgement in the form of waves, smiles, nods or even winks, James’ heart tugged when you didn’t spare him a glance. You graciously took a seat and motioned at Professor Trelawney to continue.

James jumped up when class was over. His belongings had long since been packed, and he dashed towards your leaving figure.

“Y/N!” he called out to you.

You turned around and looked him in the eye. All the words that James had prepared during the rest of class escaped his mind. James felt those chills again and he finally understood that in all his years with fights between the two of you, you had been petty, threatening to take points away. You had been angry, throwing insults back at him, and you had very much been a major asshole in general. But you had never been this hostile.

“Let me say this once, so we can all be done with it, and never talk about this again, Potter,” you sharply stated. “I am sorry that I wasn’t who you wanted me to be. However, let me make it clear that this was my secret and mine to share. And I made perfectly clear that I was not going to, so your blatant disrespect to publicly call me out the way you did, is simply appalling.”

Remus called James’ name and James made the mistake to look back. When he turned to you again, you were already further down the hall, turning the corner with a steady pace.

James didn’t see you around anymore until Thursday morning. His eyes basically lit up and he repeated his apology in his head. “L/N, wait,” James tried, and he chased after you. Unlike last time, you didn’t stop. Curious students watched you two pass while James tried to match your pace.

“Hear me out, please.”

“I said all I wanted to say, Potter. Let’s stay out of each other’s way from now on.”

“After you let me explain,” James pleaded.

You laughed. “Nothing you tell me will change my mind. I won’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth.” You gave him an annoyed look.

Still, James was not planning on giving up. You weren’t the only determined one here. He grabbed your arm and dragged you into a room. Your eyes squinted and gave him the dirtiest look they could. James immediately let go of you, hands up in defence, a string of apologies following suit.

You glared at him and went to walk straight out of the room when James pulled you back again, and this time, he cupped the sides of your face, and pressed his lips to yours.

For a moment, you hesitated, utterly confused and surprisingly rather okay with the unwarranted kiss. And then anger hit you. Did he bloody think this would woo you, and sweep you off your feet and make everything alright? How dare he kiss you in attempt to manipulate you. You slapped him across the face in shock less than a second later. James blinked back at you in horror at his own actions.

“Godric, no- I- I am so bloody sorry, I shouldn’t have- I’m- I don’t know what went through my head, please wait-” You slammed the door in his face when you left. James hit his head softly against the door. And then he hit it again but a bit harder as he cursed. “What the hell is wrong with you mate,” he groaned to himself. “You bloody git.”

He stared at the dark wood of the door in front of him reluctantly. To be honest, he wouldn’t mind just staying in the room to rot away, how was he going to face you now?

“Lily, please go in my place,” he begged the redhead. “I’ll take your Tuesday shift, I promise.”

Lily shook her head. “Stop being a baby, James. You reap what you sow and I’m not patrolling tonight.” She walked past James and then turned back around.

“Some friendly advice, James, stop being so pushy. No is no, and it might have been cute as 11-year-olds, but not anymore. We’re no longer kids. But good luck.”

James reluctantly dragged himself towards the Great Hall where he could see you pick your nails in front of the door. He felt ashamed, guilty, and absolutely not ready to look you in the eye.

“Hi,” he awkwardly managed. “So about-“

“You’re late. Let’s get a move on it.” You cut him off.

“Right, yeah, we should do that- patrolling.”

It was quiet, not a word spoken between the two of you as James trailed half a step behind you. He glanced at the side of your face. Shadows and light flickered across your face every time you passed a torch.

The silence of the castle did him good, he realised. He’d much rather walk in silence next to you, than be in the midst of all that chaos that was going on right now. He smiled and stuffed his hands in his pocket happily.

“What are you smiling about,” you asked, a frown on your face.

“Hm? What? Oh, sorry.” The smile dropped of James’ face.

“Well, you don’t have to stop smiling because I said so,” you shot him a strange look. “I just wanted to know what’s so funny.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” A beat. And then, “Lily told me to stop trying to apologise to you if you don’t want to hear it.”

You considered his words. You supposed you mostly wanted someone to be angry at. You didn’t want to hear James out and then maybe see that your anger was misdirected. You wanted to stay bitter.

“I don’t.”

“Okay, well, I’ll stop.”

“Good.”

Despite the fact that he hadn’t been able to apologise, and nothing had been cleared up between the two of you, both of you felt yourselves relax a little more. You continued to roam the corridors in silence.

The next three patrols were spent in the same basked silence, occasionally one or two words exchanged. James had so many things he wanted to tell you, but he didn’t want to ruin anything. And then you suddenly spoke up again.

“Good luck tomorrow.”

James perked up at your words. “Thank you,” he grinned at you gratefully. “Are you going to watch the game?”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll be helping out in the infirmary.”

“Did you finish your herbal research then?”

Your eyes flickered up at him in surprise. “Yeah, Madame Pomfrey and I will put it to test.” James nodded along.

“Well, if you ever need a patient, I’d volunteer,” he joked. He watched in triumph as you shook your head in amusement.

“Better check your broom for hexes tomorrow,” you replied. “wouldn’t want you to fall off your broom and break a bone or two.” James snorted.

You pulled the curtain to the side with an exasperated expression. “I was only kidding Yesterday, Potter. What on earth are you doing here.”

James gave you a weak smile, trying to hide the pain in his arm and ribs. “Volunteering to be your very first patient, of course.”

“Tell me you didn’t break your bones on purpose,” you squinted your eyes at him.

“I didn’t break my bones on purpose,” James obediently replied. He shifted in curiosity as you rummaged through a cabinet. “Is this not fixable with any spells?” He pondered when he saw you pull out several vials.

“Externally, yes. But you’d be in the same excruciating pain as if they were still broken. You motioned towards the vials. “Hence the herbal potions.”

“Is that the one with the Nettle and Dittany?” James nodded his head to the bottle on the left.

You hummed in approval, not bothering to hide the fact that you were impressed. “Who knows, Potter. Maybe you have a future of a healer as well.” James beamed in pride at your compliment.

“Just keeping my options open.” James sighed happily. He was glad that he could joke around with you again. You tapped a bottle against his cheek. He let you pour the potion into his mouth.

“Now what?”

“Now we wait.” You pulled out a stool and sat down with a notebook in case you needed to take notes of the effects of the potion. At one point, you must have fallen asleep with your face buried on James’ infirmary bed. A strand of hair was tickling your nose and you huffed to get it out of the way. James shifted to tuck it away with his non-injured hand.

You opened your eyes and jumped up. You looked around disoriented and when your eyes landed on James, who had tilted his head, you felt embarrassment creep up on you. “I’m terribly sorry, that was unprofessional of me. Are you feeling any better?”

James nodded. He sat up to prove it, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “All better. And if you get to apologise, so do I, right?” He looked at you hopefully, internally praying that you wouldn’t just march out straight away. “Will you hear me out?”

You sighed, knowing what would come next, but this time you sat down on the stool again instead of walking away.

“I didn’t know.” When you didn’t respond, he repeated himself. “I didn’t know it was you, and I didn’t know it was going to be published in the newspaper because I wouldn’t do that- you know that I wouldn’t.”

He looked at you and saw you staring back at him. He took it as a sign to continue and cleared his throat. It felt so dry all of a sudden. You quietly reached for a cup of water and handed it to him. James took a sip, a deep breath, and started to ramble on without breaks.

“Sirius found your parchment and then you sisters found it too, but I didn’t. I really didn’t. Sirius said they had already run off and he tried to fix it on his own, so he didn’t tell me, and I only found out right before you did and I would never have written such a mean article about you, because we’re friends- well, at the very least I considered us friends- and I just wanted you to like me because-” James stopped.

“What, you fancy me?” you rhetorically commented. 

James’ heart stopped and his face flushed. “No, of course not! I just- Well, I don’t know- It’s, uh I guess I just,” James tried to form a coherent answer, trying to weigh what answer would scare you away.

You frowned and let your eyes flicker across his face. “Stop it,” you shook your head in denial.

“Would it be so bad?” James murmured. “I didn’t know. But I know I liked the girl behind the paper. And I know I liked my patrol partner.” He hesitated and took a step forward. “I think you liked me too, before you knew my name.”

“Yeah,” you replied. “Before I knew your name. Once I learned it, I no longer did,” you lied. “Because we would never work. Every student said so. All the whispers and comments, insults and rumour were right.”

James shook his head.

“So, date me to spite them. Prove them wrong,” It was a pathetic attempt, but he saw the consideration flash in your eyes, and the more he thought about it, the more he started to get convinced that this was a decent idea.

“You’d have us enter a fake relationship to spite everyone?”

“It wouldn’t be fake to me,” James shrugged, getting more confident by your open attitude. “And who knows, maybe I can convince you that the guy from the paper is still inside of me.”

“This is so stupid,” you shook your head.

“Guess what,” Sirius asked Remus, he covered the page of the book Remus was reading to capture his attention.

Remus slapped Sirius’ hand away. “What,” he replied curtly. Sirius moved to sit on the table of the library. “Are you angry?”

“Mildly annoyed, yes.”

“Because…” Sirius trailed off unsurely. He hoped that Remus would finish the sentence for him, which, luckily for Sirius, Remus did.

“Because I think it’s time you guys stop pestering her. I know you planned to get James in the infirmary. Leave her be, you’ve done enough damage as it is.” He sounded disapproving. Sirius dropped himself back on the table, laying across it as if he was a sacrifice on an altar.

“Prongs likes her.”

“Yeah? Well, he’s handling it terribly,” Remus drily remarked. He took off his glasses and started to wipe them with the hem of his sweater. Sirius patted his pockets, reached into his left one and handed Remus a cleaning cloth for glasses.

“Why are you guys nice to me,” Remus asked quietly.

“What are you talking about Moony, you’re our best friend?”

“I know, but why?” Remus lowered his voice. “I’m a werewolf, aren’t I? I’m a literal monster. So why are you nice to me. But somehow feel the need to keep pranking and bullying Slytherin students? We’re in our last year. Don’t you think we should grow up?” And with ‘we’, he meant ‘Sirius and James’.

‘I know, Moony.”

“Do you now?”

“I think I’m going to talk to Regulus.”

Remus choked on his spit. “I’m sorry, Pads, you’re what?”

“I just don’t want to be like L/N’s siblings. I know I sort of am, but I don’t want to be. And you said we should start being nicer right?”

“Pads, last time you said something to him, he literally hexed you.”

“I insulted him,” Sirius heard himself say and he felt weird for a moment.

“He’s after your ass during every Quidditch game, trying to knock you off your broom.”

“Well, that’s just the point of Quidditch,” Sirius defended again.

Remus smiled at Sirius. “Alright, just be careful. Mid-terms are coming up and I’m too busy with studies to fix you up again.”

Sirius grinned. “If all goes well with Prongs, I could ask L/N to patch me up.” Remus threw a quill at him. “I think I’ll go find L/N later, see if she knows where my brother is.”

The door opened and Remus looked behind him. He did a double take and put his glasses back on to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Sirius was still laying on the table, looking at the ceiling.

“I think I’ve found her,” Remus remarked, uncertainly.

Sirius sat up and gaped at the sight on you and James, walking into the library together while talking. James was holding a pile of books and by the colour of the cover, he knew that those were not James’.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something?”

You looked up in alarm at the words and found Sirius and Remus sitting at a table in the corner. “We talked it out,” you nonchalantly mentioned. Remus gave you a smile and Sirius just stared at you. Then; “Hell yeah, Prongs, I knew you had it in you to confess.” Sirius jumped off the table and patted you on the back with a grin.

You laughed back uncertainly and looked at James with questioning eyes. James looked back at you, reassuringly. He moved all of your books to one hand and guided you to a seat with the other.

“Where’s Regulus,” Sirius asked immediately as soon as you sat down.

You raised your eyebrows. “He’s in the astronomy tower. Didn’t want to join James and I to the library.” You smiled at recollection of the younger Black’s reaction to you and James.

“No way.” He had replied. “What are you two planning?” James had looked at Regulus with an offended look. “What are you talking about? I fancy Y/N and she fancies me, so we decided to make it official.”

“Yeah, I’ll believe you fancy Y/N, but there is just no way she would enter a relationship with you of all people. What’s the deal.”

Sirius nodded. “Well,” he started, “I mean, if he wants to, he uh, the library is a public space, so he could join. If he wants.” Sirius awkwardly sat down on a chair. You squinted your eyes at him. “I’ll be sure to let him know,” you said. You watched as Sirius puffed out a sigh in relief.

You glanced down at the messy scribbles on Sirius’ paper and raised your eyebrows. You’d imagined that the elder Black would have a better handwriting than that. “Anyway, do you need help with Transfiguration as well?”

The news of your relationship spread like fire. Your sisters both received it with a sour look on their faces. “He’ll see we were right, and he’ll leave you again,” they said, purposely loud enough for you to hear it. James had just entered the room and walked straight past them towards you with a flower. He dropped it next to you and sat down beside you.

Against your will, your heart made a small jump and the corners of your mouth tugged upwards. James’ eyes flickered towards your lips and quickly looked away happily. Then he leaned in a little and whispered, “We’re not breaking up if it’s up to me.”

He shifted in his seat, subtly scooting over closer to you. “Go on a date with me tonight,” James whispered.

“We don’t have time tonight. Patrol, remember?” You argued back.

James grinned and shook his head. “Afterwards.”

“It’s past bedtime afterwards. I will not-”

“Sneak around the castle and get caught, I know. But you forget that I have an invisibility cloak.”

You laughed this time. “I’m almost tempted to take 20 points off Gryffindor for your outrageous plan.” Your eyes twinkled and James joined in. He put his hand over his heart in fake shock. “You wouldn’t do that to your boyfriend,” he squinted his eyes, challenging you.

“If he misbehaves,” you answer amusedly. But then you hummed in thought. “Fine, I’ll bite, what do you have in mind.”

James’ grin widened. “The lake’s still frozen,” he whispered. You deadpanned. “I can’t skate.”

James leaned his head against you. “Exactly, it’s the perfect chance for me to show you my gentlemanly skills and woo you.” You turned your head and breathed in the smell of James’ shampoo. "You just want an excuse to hold my hand," you mumbled in his hair. You could feel James smile against your shoulder. “I’m your boyfriend, I don’t need excuses,” he joked.

James swore his heartrate sped up an unhealthy amount when you confirmed, “No you don’t.”

He was absolutely beaming next to you as you were patrolling down the corridor, hand in hand. Your eyes flickered over to James once in a while. It was suspicious to you that he’d been quiet the entire time. James on the other hand was just looking at your intertwined hands with interest.

“Never held hands with a girl before, Potter?” You laughed, but no venom was found in your voice.

James nodded. “Never held hands with a girl before,” he confirmed, not ashamed at all for it. Why should he. You looked at him with curiosity. “What about Lily?”

James snorted. “Have you ever seen us hold hands?”

“Nope,” you popped the ‘p’.

“I was stressing a lot about being a good boyfriend, my hands got really sweaty,” James bashfully explained. You lifted both your hands and squeezed his hand a few times. “You don’t stress about being a good boyfriend for me?” you couldn’t help but ask. You immediately groaned internally and looked straight to the floor, intently watching your feet as they simply fascinatingly put one in front of the other. I mean, have you ever seen something so-. James wasn’t having it.

“’m not stressing with you. I have a pretty good feeling about us.” He sighed contently. You huffed. “Well, I have high standards, and I’ve been told I’m pretty high maintenance, Potter.” You stuck your nose in the air haughtily.

“First, you should stop calling me Potter,” he remarked.

“James,” you nodded. A chill ran up his spine. “And second?” you inquired.

“Second?”

“Second,” you looked at him expectantly.

“Oh! Right, second; I didn’t know you had a relationship before?” And just as soon as those words left his lips, he cussed himself out in his head. Great, now he seemed either a twat as if he couldn’t believe someone like you could have a relationship, or a twat who was jealous and obsessive. And it’s only the first week. James averted his eyes to the wall on his left. Ah yes, the wall seems to be made of stone. Very sturdy, very wall-like-

“No, I’ve been single pretty much my whole life.” You put on your usual sour face, and vaguely gestured to it. “Not very approachable, as I prefer.”

“Then who calls you high maintenance?” James thought bitterly, feeling the need to defend you. “Calm down, prince Charming,” you reassured him with a laugh. Maybe you could see the charm in his recklessness. “I can fight my own battles. And basically, everyone calls me high maintenance.”

The two of you walked side by side in silence again, making your way to the prefect room. You rummaged through a drawer, pulled out a document and started to fill it in. James leaned against the table. “Where do you go during Spring Break? Do you stay at Hogwarts? Because I can also stay at Hogwarts to keep you company, you know.”

“I have my own apartment.”

“You’re not even of age yet,” James pointed out, trying to hide his disappointment unsuccessfully at a missed opportunity of spending time with you.

“Professor McGonagall vouched for me,” you replied. James’ eyebrows flew up. “McGonagall?” He asked in disbelief. You just hummed in reply while you flipped the page to continue filling in the report.

“Well, if you want you can come with me?” You stopped writing and looked up at him intently. As if you were searching his face for any hidden intentions. When you didn’t find any, you gave him an apologetic look.

“That’s kind of you, James,” you smiled. “But I have Regulus staying with me.”

“He doesn’t stay at the Black manor?” James was surprised. You tilted your head. “Tell me, does Sirius stay at the Black manor?”

James quickly shut his mouth as realization dawned on him. Oh.

“Well,” he awkwardly shifted. “You’re both welcome,” he offered. You shook your head in laughing at the mental image. The thought of Regulus and Sirius living together for two weeks was just hilarious.

“I’m done, we can go.”

“Alright, I just need to pick up my invisibility cloak from the Gryffindor common room.”

“I’ll wait here,” you nodded. James offered you a strange look.

“What?” You asked, looking up at him.

“You’re not going with me?”

“What all the way up to the third floor? I think not,” you snorted, plopping down on a chair, and making yourself comfortable.

James huffed and didn’t move. “But what if something happens to me on the way there?” He dramatically sat down next to you on a different chair.

“What on earth could happen to you on the way to your room. This is Hogwarts, you know. The safest place in England probably.”

“What if a monster attacks me, and then I can’t come back, and you’ll think that I stood you up?” James retorted with a pout.

You shook your head and pinched the bridge of you nose. “There are no monsters in this castle, James, where do you think we are? You’re not going to run into a Basilisk on your way.”

James squinted his eyes at you. “But can you promise me that with 100% certainty?” You rolled your eyes in response. “Of course not, but would you take me with you and expose me to such dangers?” you sarcastically retorted.

“Well, technically speaking, and I’m not saying all Slytherins,” James held up his hands at your narrowed eyes. “Snakes are kind of your thing, right?” You closed your eyes. “Charming, you are. Let’s just go,” you sighed.

James grinned in victory as he held the door open for you. “For the record, I would totally protect you from a Basilisk.”

“If you say so.”

Sirius sat up in bed when the door opened, but no one came in. “Hey Prongs, how was ice skating?”

James removed the invisibility cloak to reveal your shivering form. Both of you drenched from head to toe, water still dripping from the locks in front of his eyes. “Got pulled under,” he stressed. “I didn’t know where to take her, I couldn’t let her clean record be tainted for being out past bedtime because of me, and I don’t know the Slytherin password, so I brought her here,” he started to ramble in a loud whisper.

Remus grumbled as he sat up too. “Bloody hell, Prongs, did you take her to the black lake or what?” And when James didn’t respond, “Mate, what is wrong with you.” He got up and walked to the bathroom to get a few dry towels to wrap you in.

James discarded his soaked clothes and dried himself off before putting on pyjamas. Then the three of them stared awkwardly at each other. “Well, she needs to get out of those cold clothes,” Remus remarked. Sirius stepped back. “Yeah, not my girl, not my duty,” he walked over to his bed and dropped down on it.

“Right.”

You woke up and the first thing you noticed was the red colours all around you. You sat up suddenly and blinked a few times. What happened? Oh, right. A hand had broken through the ice, wrapped itself around your ankle and harshly pulled you down into the freezing depths. So that means you’re either dead, or James got you out and brought you to the Gryffindor dorms instead of the infirmary because he kept your clean records in mind. Your heart filled with appreciation at the thought of that.

You looked around and found James on the floor next to you. He was curled up in an extra blanket, but it must be uncomfortable. You went to pull out your wand when you realised that you were wearing his sweater. The little shit changed your clothes, you huffed.

You quietly got up, found your clothes drying in the bathroom and slipped out your wand. With a quick levitation spell, you gently tucked James back into his own bed. Your eyes fell on the two parchments on the nightstand, and you allowed a nostalgic smile to adorn your face. You moved his hair out of the way and let your eyes rest on his peaceful face. Realising you were being creepy, you hastily turned around and snuck out of the room with your clothes and a rolled-up parchment.

“And where have you been,” Regulus sat on the common room armchair in front of the door. He looked like he hadn’t properly slept, and his tone was sharp. “And what atrocity are you wearing. Tell me you didn’t sleep with him?”

“You’re my brother, Regulus, not my mother,” you teased him. You pulled out a chair to sit next to him. “And no, I went skating, fell into the water, blacked out and woke up alive in the Gryffindor dorm. So don’t hex James, if anything you can thank him.”

There was a beat of silence. “I’m glad you’re okay, I was worried.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you. Did you stay up all night?”

“Yes, but mostly because I wanted to tell you something.” You didn’t immediately reply, waiting for Regulus to continue on his own instead.

“Sirius came up to the astronomy tower yesterday evening,” he quietly said. His voice sounded confused, as if he was still unsure of what had actually occurred.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course, I’m okay,” Regulus immediately said. “It’s just that he apologized.” He shrugged. “You think he meant it?”

You thought it over. “I think he did. He asked me last week you know. Where you are, and that if you ever want to join us in the library, you can.” Regulus nodded deep in thought.

“You know, James actually invited both of us over for the Spring Break.” You looked at Regulus to gauge his reaction to that. He looked slightly interested, though he tried to hide it.

“I suppose it’s still a month away, so we’ll see what we want then.”

You nodded and then got up off the chair. “I’m going to change into something else, before my fellow house students want to jinx me,” you said.

“You’re dating James Potter; people already want to jinx you.”

You winked at him. “Well, I’ll be damned, you’re absolutely right. Isn’t that funny? You know what, let them try,” you challenged them as you smoothened James’ sweater.

James woke up and sat up straight in bed, confused. How did he get here? He Looked at the end of his bed and saw it still neatly tucked in- hospital corners. His lips twitched up. You had left, he realised, but you’d tucked him in. He let himself fall back onto his pillow and turned his head to the side. Then he frowned, put on his glasses, and grabbed the parchment. In your lovely handwriting was a message.

Maybe not a Basilisk, but you protected me as you said. Thank you, James. (All things considered, I enjoyed last night.)

James’ eyes traced the words before he carefully placed the parchment under his pillow with a giddy feeling in his heart.

James found you in the library with Remus. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that you were still wearing his sweater. Red looked out of place on you and James absolutely loved it. Sirius shared a look with him and then the both of them decided to sneak up on the two of you, simultaneously stealing your books from under you.

You and Remus narrowed your eyes at the both of them. “I am this close to kicking you guys.” You held up your hand to show your thumb and finger pressed together. James shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “But they’re touching,” he hesitantly responded. Sirius elbowed him in the ribs and quickly handed Remus both your books back.

You sarcastically faked a gasp. “Oh, Merlin, you’re right, they appear to be.”

James cheekily grinned and pressed a kiss to your temple. “You wouldn’t hurt your knight in shining armour,” he bragged, but without any real arrogance laced in his tone. You flipped him off with a grin and pulled out a chair for him next to you. “You’re late,” you airily said.

Sirius suddenly straightened up, his attention fixed on someone behind you. You turned around and waved Regulus over. “Come join us, Reg.”

Three weeks flew by in a blur, but- even though you’ve said this so often now- your were really enjoying your time at Hogwarts again. People’s gossips and predictions about yours and James’ relationship had turned into quiet whispers and envy.

James stood up for you on multiple occasions- after letting you have a go at the imbeciles of course. You had finally gone to a Quidditch game to support James, though of course not when they were playing against Slytherin. You had spent more time in the infirmary and James had joined you a few times by hanging out on one of the empty beds, occasionally handing you an ingredient such as Wolfsbane.

After having established that you absolutely loved hugs, James was always less that a step behind you, ready to give you the affection that you were too proud for to admit you wanted. You had been a frequent visitor to the boys’ dorms as well, making yourself comfortable in James’ arms as you dozed off for a nap. On other nights, you have even managed to persuade Regulus to join a handful of times as well. You wondered what would happen when James would graduate before you, but tried not to think much of it.

“So, we are definitely going to Hogsmeade together this week, right?” James popped up behind you and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“How scandalous, are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yeah, why? You have a boyfriend or something?” James humoured you.

“Or something,” you joked. The innocent comment hit both you and James at the same time. A reminder that you two were in fact technically not really dating. You shook the thought away.

“I’ll see you at 11 o’clock,” you replied.

James grinned, “I’ll be there five minutes earlier.”

True to his words, he was waiting for you in the courtyard when you arrived on the dot. James offered you his arm and you linked yours through his.

“James?” James hummed in reply. “Does your offer about Spring Break still stand? I mean, I know it’s next week already, and it’s sort of short notice-”

James perked up. “Yes!” he said, a little too quickly and enthusiastic. He cleared his throat and lowered his volume. “Yes, you and Regulus can still come.”

You sighed and nodded in relief. “Right, because Reg and I have been talking and we might take you up on that offer.”

It was evening by the time you and James made your way back to Hogwarts. James had his arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you held his hand. James pressed a kiss to your temple every now and then. “What happened to the glass slippers?” He suddenly asked.

“They broke.”

“They broke?”

“Yep.”

“But didn’t you enchant them?”

“I did, but I was so angry at you that I smashed them to pieces against the wall like over two months ago.”

“Oh… But have you changed your mind since then?” James decided to finally ask you.

“About what?”.

“Me, and us.”

You looked at James and quietly admired him. James kept his eyes straight in front of him, too scared to look at you and see your reaction.

“Well, we are walking together, coming back from Hogsmeade. There’s not a student in sight and yet we are still holding hands,” You light-heartedly replied with a teasing smile. You squeezed his hand for good measure. It seemed enough to make James look at you.

“I’d say we’re pretty good friends-”

“I’m in love with you.”

You froze in your tracks and let go of James’ hand. Well, that took you by surprise. Fancying someone and claiming to be in love with someone- not loving but being in love- that was a next level. You smiled amusedly, successfully hiding your insecurities. “James, you’re not in love with me.”

James frowned at your response. He’d accept your rejection, but not you doubting his feelings.

“Yes, I am,” he stubbornly responded.

“No, you’re not,” you retorted, equally stubborn.

“Am too.”

“You’re not, James,” you exasperatedly said. “You’re not in love, you just fancy me because you’re comfortable.” You shrugged awkwardly. "And you only feel comfortable with me because I know so much about you. Because you poured your heart out to a stranger, and it so happened to be me.”

James bit his cheek, considering your words. Then he grinned and nodded. Your heart dropped, but not as much as it could have, because you had already prepared yourself for this. The joy behind setting yourself up for disappointment by never letting yourself get your hopes up.

“Yeah, I’m really comfortable with you.” He agreed. “Isn’t that great? Isn’t that love too? Being comfortable to the point you don’t feel the need to keep secrets anymore, where you feel the most accepted? The most at ease?”

You stared at James then cleared your throat. “So, when did you start being all knowledgeable and romantic?”

James snorted. You were adorable when you were awkward. “I’m the most comfortable with you,” he earnestly confessed to you. He carefully, as if to not scare you away, put a step forward and reached for your hand. He squeezed it softly. I mean it.

James felt you pull your hand back and bit his lip, forcing it to curl up into an accepting smile. “Right,” he cleared his throat as he tried to form a reply. But you weren’t done yet. You pulled back your hand and then threw both your arms around James’ neck as your brought him in a tight hug. You dipped your head down into the crook of his neck.

“And I’m the most vulnerable with you,” you mumbled against his skin. James sighed in relief, happiness, and love. He wrapped his arms around you protectively, as if to shield you in response.

You tilted your head sideways as you looked at James who was in front of you, down on one knee in your garden. James looked beautiful. His cheeks were slightly coloured from the cold and his hands held a small box with a ring.

“Love?” He asked, waving his hand in front of you, trying to get your attention. He didn’t sound nervous at all, in fact, he felt the most relaxed he’d ever been. This was definitely the future he’d imagined when he’d watched you laugh with his dad while bringing in the groceries. “My knee is getting numb from the cold, love. So, if you could just say yes or no,” he cheekily grinned.

You hummed in thought and then you replied, “Well, isn’t marriage a little too soon?” Your grin widened and spread across your face. “I mean, you’ve yet to officially ask me to be your real girlfriend.”

“Wait what-”

The end :)

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[shuenkio]

Thinking about | 니키 ❤️‍🔥.

Parring : Ni-ki X M!reader

Genre: Suggestive | Cw: 18+, handjob, curse, sexual tension.

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A/n: This is a fictional guy! Reminder. And so if you wish to see more of "thinking about -" just hit the comments 😜🥀

Imagine —

Boyfriend Ni-ki who is insanely fond of you, has a cute aggression whenever you breathe. Would take any chances he got to stare at your existence, and noticed how small you are to him, while on the other hand he was taller, older, bigger, in any way one can describe.

Intrusive thoughts win when Ni-ki finally gathers all the courage and shame to ask you for a size comparison, and you know very well what he referred to. Ni-ki has always been a naughty boy, making dirty jokes, Abt this and that which is quite normal. To the point of this, he was asking without saying, but wanted to compare dick size.

Who knows both had the same intentions, curiosity, to seek what underneath each other underwear to see who's bigger. Obviously when you pull it out, it is indeed average, 5 inches hard, not bad yet not as good as your lover. Not only was he massive, Larger than you can imagine, and what surprised you the most was you have never seen such a long length like this before, almost 9 inches. How did he hold all of that, darker shade of his fair skin, the way his balls clench, the sake full of essence was so sexy and hot.

"Love what you're gazing ? Hm?" A smirk was exchanged, a playful grin painted his small face, inviting you to join the ecstasy.

You gulp, nevertheless the desire was too strong to resist. You haven't tried it before, not even seen your boyfriend's cock ever until this moment. A big yes to the answer.

"What if I say— yes..."

"uhmm, gotta let your honest free darling don't keep it bottled up I like that haaa— you are staring too much, tsk why don't you go on and hold it ah it's so heavy" The words is like a scratch in the brain, as it hit you like a wooden log hit the bell. Did he mean it or was he just messing around? The goosebumps shrek and run on your skin, don't convince enough to do it.

"I- stop it.. you're joking! Right? Right?" You reassuring, it could be misunderstood if you just go ahead without a second thought?

Ni-ki got good giggles from it, by the way how you react to this whole situation. He just can't help it, even in this intimate heat he could still find you as adorable as ever. Gosh.

"I want it" Without further wasted, he grabs your wrist and shoves it to careless his gigantic cock. Hell warm, you feel the hot fever instantly by the contact. His cock— it was everything. Big, full, innocent, fresh but also a lil musky scent tho— and the way it's twitching and throbbing so hurt in your palm, It's not very healthy, might as well need a good stem off releasing.

"Shit— that's hot M/n what the fuck did you just do to me I'm so fucking hard— you need to pay the price love, don't leave me hanging" Ni-ki whimpers and melt on the spot with your bare minimum touch, that send thrill down to his spine, boy horny so hard his ass hole was twitches, clenching too .

You were there, witness and savor every moment, second and minute. Cuz this is once in a while to experience this. With all the eagerness and courage from your lover, you quickly act and wrap that tiny palm around his dick, which is barely full round of your palm, since he was too big, at least.

Stroke up and down — feel his tip disappear and expose, his foreskin is another thing to make your dick grow harder, jutting out higher, arousing and fucking shit.

Ni-ki lay his head down low, love this so much, he needs to bite his lip to stop himself to not cum too quickly. It's nothing but stroking, crystal clear— showing how much impact you had on him.

You move that pretty hand a lil more faster— the desire grows even better as Ni-ki arches his spine forward, seeking for more pleasure, He moans shamelessly, still having the strength to stand after all the suffering from this weak-willed.

You can't wait any longer, as you finally find his sweet spot— stroke him harder! Expose that pink glans wider — which was his fucking weakness and the way he'd coming undone without any control left in his veins.

"Oh—ah, wait you're pressing me idiot—!"

He came, the biggest load he’d ever shot, thick and overwhelming. It hit so hard it left him shaking, like his bones turned to jelly, pleasure tearing through him until everything went dark and he blacked out right there, mid-breath.

"I fucking addicted it now...I— I love you Ni-ki" yas.

"hell... Yeah..."

[natalchartnurtures]

Pick-A-Tarot Meme! What Are Your Person's Thoughts About You?

~~~~~~~<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3~~~~~~~<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3~~~~~

Cuz we can't have enough of these :p

____

Pile 1:

Gosh pile one.. your person seems to be soooooooo IN THEIR HEAD about you right now.. like i got so dizzy as i started your reading wtf like what's happening here? Let's find out together yea?

Mmm ok. It seems like they have FeElingS for you but it's like.. their feelings are causing them to get in their head? Maybe their terrified of emotional vulnerability or something?

Pile 1, is your person a tough cookie or likes to present as one? Cuz if so you're the one who cracks them!

You'll be the one who gets through to their heart and they low key know thiss somewhere at the back of their mind and.. I guess THAT'S WHY they're feeling so utterly anxious. They don't wanna fuck it up this connection I hear. I'm also getting that your person doesn't really feel much for people in general like if at all even. They're giving me aromantic energy ooooor maybe they've just been really closed off to romance maybe cuz of some really and I mean REALLY bad experiences.

But. Something about you. Just. Unlocked. something inside of them and now they're FREAKING OUT lol. They're all "this wasn't part of the plan what the hell!" But in cute way lmao.

I see them veiwing you as a bit of a tower moment in their life right now and I'm not sure they're enjoying it very much. They may limit interaction with you at this point in time or if yall are together/dating they maybe a more defensive than usual but this is because they feel out of control (since they attach control with no feelings) cuz they genuinely care and could love you (like crazy)

Wow. Um this person doesn't have thoughts about you. They have mental breakdowns and panick attacks about you 😂😂😭😭 (it's not funny, but it kinda is 🙃)

This person prolly never felt this way (or expected to) about somebody and now it seems as if they're jus.. spazzing lol. They maybe an air moon or air dominant (especially low octave Aquarius energy) cuz these people tend to spazz when they catch feelings XD

Like they're having mental spasms and they don't know what to do when it comes to you. They seem like they're a fish out of water when it comes to you..

Broooo but when they're not busy spazzing abour you and their feelings for you.. they have deep passionate thoughts, mostly at nighttime, when this person feels safe I heard. Ooh. Interesting. Yea they're soooooo attracted to you and your body (lmao) they drool from the wet dreams they have about you 🤣 but I don't think you know this (which is why youre here reading this PAC lol)

Also bro. this person LOVES you. Loves everything about you. Oh it's so precious. I hope they heal whatever wound that's stopping them from being with you cuz they genuinely want to be with you (their words not mine) no matter how much they try to deny it- out of whatever fear they're experiencing.. but yea let's hope your person finds the courage they need to heal so they can make their way towards you!

Love and light, to you my friend and thanks for reading!

____

Pile 2:

Ah it's my romantic pile 🥰

They love to think about you like all day, everyday.. I'm sitting and stirring in the energy of this person's love for you rn and man.. it's so NICE and warm and fuzzy and just.. pure. This person has probably thought about your future together and fantasized about you in every possible scenario when it comes to ya'lls life together. Very cute, pile 2. They have most of their thoughts at nighttime? Even though they spend alllll day thinking of you, it usually amplifies at night. I see them basking in their delicious feels for you (awwww stop this is way too cute!)

BRO they daydream about cuddling you! (you didn't hear it from me 🙃😉) ahhhhh they love the thought of you in their hoodie just basking in the bliss yall feel together for each other.. gosh so precious!! ><

It's like they think you complete them.. like you're their other half..

Bro. Wtf. I just heard the name Jake Gyllenhaal? Idk take that if it resonates lmao

AH I'm also hearing Sunset Blvd By Selena Gomez?

And Rare by Selena Gomez too so take them if you feel like it's significant for you :)

Ok! I'm getting something interesting now.. pile 2, arr you in a situationship with this person? Or maybe a friendship but yall caught feelings and now things are kinda awkward? Or maybe they tried to push you away and chose themselves over this connection at some point? Whatever the case, there seems to be HISTORY between the both of ya'll. And whatever went down, TRUST ME your person is feeling terrible about it. I see them process you guy's past through their thoughts and I see them becoming aware of everything did (or didn't do) in this connection and I see them taking accountability! Don't we love a self-aware king/queen? Lovely news! They want to be with you! Like you're front and center in their mind right now and they're gonna do everything in their power to not only clear up things with but also begin something brand new with you. If you guys are looking for a relationship then that would mean that this person will reach out and ask you out for the first time 👀

They'll be doing this at their own speed lol (differs for everybody reading)

Or.. say if you're just looking for closure then I see this person reaching out for a heart to heart after a few days/weeks of laying low for a bit. For this to be coming out rn.. I think that they're thinking about this right now as you're reading this. Ooh exciting heheheheheheheh

I love this for you pile, 2!

Love and light, to you my friend thanks for reading!

____

Pile 3:

Ooh.. pile 3, your person is doing some serious thinking! Phew! Let's get in.

Most of their thoughts are about your softness.. they find it really healing tbh.. they absolutely love how they can be themselves around you and you receive them just as they are. Plain and simple. Ah. It nourishes them. They think of you as a comforting figure who is the human embodiment of a big warm loving hug. Aw pile 3, this is lovely energy. I'm hearing the song- By Your Side by Sade so check it out if you feel called to!

You're a place of respite for this person tbh. This person thinks that you're a wonderful person to talk to (about literally anything!) Bestie vibes tbh BUT this pile has such a sutble and sweet romantic vibe underneath the friendly tenderness (if your asking about a romantic interest) that is shared among the two of you when you connect. I heard that they think you're not like the other people they've met before. So maybe they've met a lot of people who didn't care about them or maybe their childhood lacked a certain quality of love and care which.. you give to this person. And they honestly can't be more grateful to you for that. Aw. This warms my heart. It's kinda sad but it's sooo precious too?

You make them wanna care about people again. You make them wanna care about life again. You make them wanna LOVE AGAIN.

You've managed to build a space for this person to feel safe and this has been a rare commodity in this person's life like I cannot stress that enough, pile 3. Pat yourself on the back please you've done a wonderful job here :)

You're so patient and loving with them it's almost as if it's otherworldly... angelic almost.

You make them wanna truly believe again. Ah. So beautiful. They hold a lot of reverence and respect for you and your mind. They love how you function. They love you. A lot it seems like.

Love and light, to you my friend thanks for reading

____

[claudaze]

𓏲 ˖. ♡̷̸ what jealousy makes you do ⤿ ( 송은석 )

cw. ⋮ fluff .ᐟ some kissing and cursing. ﾒ 紀要 what else can jealousy lead to.. except confessions and kisses?

“you like him more than me?”

you didn’t answer right away. you stare at your phone, pretending it’s a lifeline, something to distract you from the question that’s suddenly made the air heavy between you two. eunseok’s voice is low, tense, not angry, but the kind of hurt that’s harder to hide.

he pulls his hand away, runs it through his hair in frustration, and lets out a breath that sounds like it’s been trapped for days. “i like you,” he says, voice rougher now, more honest. “i’ve liked you for months. and you never notice. or maybe you do. maybe you’re just pretending not to.”

he pauses, blinking like he’s trying to find the right words — like he’s about to confess something he’s been holding inside for too long. “but i—i don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

you look up, meeting his eyes. there’s a flicker of vulnerability in them, the kind that doesn’t match the cool, calm eunseok everyone else sees. “eunseok..” you say softly, but he shakes his head like he’s not ready to be soothed.

“sleepovers used to be chill,” he continues, voice cracking just a little. “we’d talk shit, watch dumb shows, eat snacks like nothing mattered. now i’m—fuck, now i’m laying awake while you’re next to me on the floor and i’m wondering if you can hear my heartbeat thumping like a goddamn drum. and then you call shotaro cute, once, just once, and i just—”

he stops, breath shaky, like he’s scared he’s said too much. “i’m sorry. i sound insane.”

but you didn’t say that. you don’t want to interrupt the storm spilling out of him. because inside eunseok’s head, it’s chaos.

why the hell do i care so much?

he thinks, fingers clenching the hem of his hoodie. she’s probably just joking. maybe she doesn’t even mean it. or maybe she means it but doesn’t want me to know. fuck, why am i overthinking this?

his mind races with every little moment you shared, the way you laughed at his dumb jokes, the way your eyes softened when you looked at him, the warmth of your hand brushing against his arm. but what if it’s not enough?

he hates how much his heart clenches when you look at someone else, even for a second. jealousy isn’t just a feeling, it’s a storm that twists his stomach, makes his chest tighten, makes him say shit he regrets.

he’s scared of losing you to someone who doesn’t stumble over their words, who doesn’t get tongue-tied when you’re near.

“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, voice breaking. “i don’t know how to do this. how to be.. whatever you want.”

you move without thinking, fingers catching on his hoodie, pulling him closer. he freezes for a heartbeat, eyes wide like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. but then he leans in, forehead resting against yours, breath mingling with yours.

“you don’t have to be anyone but you,” you whisper.

his eyes flutter shut. “i’m scared, okay? scared i’m too much. scared you’ll get tired of me. or that you’re already tired.”

you shake your head, heart aching at how broken he sounds. “i’m not.”

“then show me,” he breathes, voice trembling. “show me i’m the only one you want. because right now, i feel like i’m just.. holding on to a ghost.”

you cup his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone, steadying both of you. “you’re not a ghost. you’re my everything.”

and maybe it’s the late night, maybe it’s the way his lips part in surprise, or the way your chest swells with hope, but in that moment, it feels like everything might just be okay.

because he’s finally said what’s been eating at him, and you’ve finally said what he needed to hear. and for once, jealousy doesn’t feel like a poison.

you held his face in your hands, fingers trembling just a bit because gosh, this is all so raw, so close. eunseok’s eyes flicker from hopeful to nervous, like he’s balancing on the edge of saying everything he’s ever felt.

“listen,” he starts, voice barely more than a whisper, “i’m not good at this shit. at telling you how much you mean to me without sounding like a total idiot.”

he laughs softly, a little shaky. “but i’ve been carrying this for months — this feeling that you’re the only one who makes me want to be better. the only one who gets me to stop hiding behind jokes and acting cool.”

his hand cups your cheek gently, thumb brushing over the skin there like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever touched. “you make me want to say things i’m scared to say, and maybe i’m a mess, but god, i like you so damn much it hurts sometimes.”

you blink, heart pounding so loud you’re sure he can hear it. all those words, so honest, so unfiltered, it hit you like a wave, crashing over every doubt you ever had about him.

you want to say something, anything, but the words get stuck in your throat. instead, you press your forehead against his, breath mingling with his, and whisper, “i.. i like you too. more than i thought i would. and i’m scared. scared you’ll think it’s not enough, or that i’m messing things up.”

his smile is soft, like he’s been waiting to hear those words forever. “it’s never not enough.”

then, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, he leans in, slow and steady, until his lips brush yours. the kiss is tentative at first, sweet and searching, but it quickly deepens — full of everything he’s been holding back, all the feelings he’s been too scared to say out loud.

you wrap your arms around him, fingers threading through the back of his hoodie, pulling him closer, needing to feel every part of him.

when you finally break apart, breaths heavy and hearts racing, he rests his forehead against yours again, voice soft and low.

“i’m not going anywhere. not if you don’t want me to.”

and you believed him. because for the first time, you don’t have to pretend or hide or second-guess. you have each other.

you barely have time to catch your breath before eunseok’s already nuzzling into your neck, voice thick with sleep and something so tender it makes your chest melt.

“don’t leave,” he murmurs, fingers curling around your wrist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.

you shift so you’re sitting closer, his head resting against your collarbone, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“sleepovers aren’t just for watching dumb shows anymore,” he whispers, voice heavy and warm. “they’re for holding you when the world feels too loud. for telling you i’m yours even if i’m too scared to say it right.”

his fingers trace lazy circles on your skin, and your heart feels too full for words.

“i’m gonna be annoying,” he warns with a sleepy smile. “gonna want you close all night. gonna fall asleep staring at you like you’re the best thing i’ve ever seen.”

you laugh softly, brushing your fingers through his hair, humming. “i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

and as he drifts off, you catch his last murmured promise, barely audible but full of everything he feels —

“i’m yours. always. in all ways.”

[clovercap]

unsaid (part 2)

2.4

note: hi!! thank you guys for all the love on part one, oh my gosh!!◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ i think i'm gonna make 1-2 more parts and finish up this little series! please let me know what you'd like to see and send me asks! reblog and like if you liked this and lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part ᵔદᵔ okay luv u all hope you enjoy!!

pairing: bfs!rafe and bsf!y/n

summary: y/n is heavily overthinking and rafe seems perfectly fine

warnings: this is 18+. alcohol use.

“You aren’t gonna surf?” 

Everyone is at the beach, and it’s mid-afternoon, the day after the party. Rafe’s sitting next to you, sunglasses on as he frowns at the ocean. It’s obvious that he’s hungover, which typically makes him irritable. You’re used to it, but it was hard not to take his attitude personally after last night.

I always need you. I can breathe when you’re around. 

What the fuck did he mean by that? 

You glance at him in the beach chair beside you, your hand playing in the sand between your chairs.

“No,” He replies hoarsely. “I feel like shit.” 

He hasn’t mentioned what he said last night. You wonder if he even remembers. It doesn’t seem like it, considering how fucked up he was. By the end of the night, you were dragging him onto Kelce’s couch because he could barely walk.

You, on the other hand, were unfortunately sober enough to remember. The more you thought about it, the more you spiraled. You couldn’t help but wonder if his words meant something more. Combined with all the things he had been doing, acting a bit more protective, being a bit more touchy and sweet. It all makes you think that maybe he does feel something more for you, like you do for him. 

It’s been eating away at you, ever told you he needed you, like the porch swing had become a confessional for just a moment. You have an aching feeling in your gut begging you to just ask him about it, but you restrain yourself. The logical reasoning that tells you he was just drunk, just being nice, holds you back. 

“Yeah, you were gone.” You finally respond, hoping to cover your distress with a soft laugh. 

You feel his gaze on you as you mess with the sand. It feels heavy, like molasses has suddenly enveloped you. He doesn’t respond, which doesn’t surprise you. There wasn’t anything else to say regarding his hangover, and there was no way in hell you would bring up what he had said. 

“Hey! What’re you guys doing out here? The water’s great.” You look up from the sand to see Ruthie walking in front of you both, her wet hair dripping down her shoulders with a hand on her hip and a seltzer in her other hand. 

“I’m hungover,” Rafe says simply, looking up at her through his sunglasses. “Swimming won’t go over too well.” 

“I totally get that,” She giggles like he was trying to be funny.

Her eyes drift to you, and her tone is much less friendly. “Why aren’t you in the water?” 

“M’tanning.” You reply, keeping your voice level. 

She tilts her head and smirks. “You can’t tan like that.” 

She’s not wrong. You’re hunched over in the beach chair, playing with the sand. The way you were sitting was not suitable for a good tan.

“I guess.” You say, and you stand up. Maybe swimming would help get your mind off things. “The water better be as nice as you’re making it out to be.” 

“Oh, it will!” She calls to you as you walk towards the shore. You look back and see she’s taken your seat, leaning over and talking to Rafe. You snap your head back to the ocean and keep walking like your chest didn’t heat up in the disgusting way it usually did when you saw Rafe talking to other girls.

When your feet hit the water, you realize Ruthie was unfortunately right. The water was great. Just cool enough to escape the blazing heat, and just warm enough to feel relaxing. You head further in, closing your eyes and dipping under the waves. You hold your breath and count to 30. You gasp for air as you come back up and see the waves have pulled you even further out. Your toes barely touch the bottom, so you lie on your back, letting the gentle waves bring you closer to shore. 

You don’t know how long you’re in the water, switching between floating and swimming, all while never looking back at the shore. You hear your name being called as you float on your back. His voice is so familiar it almost hurts, and you sigh as you let your legs sink back to the ocean floor, watching Rafe wade towards you. 

“What’s up?” You ask, swimming towards him.

“You’ve been in here for like, almost an hour.  Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.” He says gruffly, crossing his arms. 

The water reaches your thighs as you stand. You force a smile, running your thumb under your bikini strap. “I didn’t realize I was out here for so long, sorry.” 

“It’s fine, just—you should really be paying more attention.” 

It’s like he’s admonishing you, and you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

“Sorry.” You mumble, looking away from him as you rub your arm.  It’s a weak attempt to settle your nerves.

His face twists. “No, don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t’ve—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. He glances down and drops his arms, bending down to feel the water on his hands. “Water’s nice.” 

You nod and smile tightly at his deflection. 

“Maybe it’s your turn to lie out in the ocean for an hour.” Your chest bubbles as you attempt to lighten the mood.  

He looks up at you from the water, and his gaze penetrates you. It’s like he knows something you don’t. You swallow. 

 Then he shakes his head, looking back towards shore, and the feeling is gone. “Nah, I just wanted to come check on you.”

You still, and the waves hit against you. You can’t help how the most casual sentence from him sounds like the most meaningful thing you’ve ever heard. Even though you know it’s not. Since last night, though, it feels like everything he says just…means more. 

“Wanna head back? Maybe you can actually tan.” He breaks the silence you barely even noticed.

“Maybe.” You say, looking over towards the shore. Ruthie is still in your chair, and you bristle at the sight. 

Rafe follows your gaze. “Okay,” He says gently. “Well, I’m gonna head back.”

He looks back at you expectantly. You really didn’t want to follow him back to shore. You felt like you followed him everywhere and hated yourself for it. 

“I’m gonna stay in the water a bit longer.” 

He nods with a small smile. “Try not to float away.” 

You let out a strained laugh and watch as he turns around. 

You look out towards the horizon, swimming towards it. You had always been independent, but as long as you’ve known Rafe, you’ve always just been by his side. You had become attached to him in a way that scared you. 

You weren’t sure when you started feeling more for Rafe. All you knew was that your feelings were recent and overwhelming. You had never been the type to need someone as much as you need him in your life. Maybe that’s why the thought of possibly—most likely— ruining things between you felt so heavy. 

You grew up with everything handed to you, everything decided for you, and the only thing you could control was your feelings. That’s partially why you and Rafe had gotten as close as you did. He struggled with the expectations placed upon him to be the perfect Cameron, while you felt the pressure to be just as successful as your family was. It was a perfect match of privileged teenagers dealing with overwhelming expectations.

But now, you couldn’t control your feelings. Now they had taken a hold over you, and you felt like a puppet being toyed with by his hands.  And ever since that stupid fucking party, it’s been even worse. The rule you had over your emotions had been overthrown. Stripped from you, leaving you with this hollow feeling in your stomach that only Rafe could fill. 

Thinking of him only deepened that emptiness, and you look at the distant horizon. An abrupt barrier between the sky and sea, a wall that isn’t real, but is always there. Sometimes you felt like that with Rafe. He’s never let you in entirely. Maybe that’s why his words at the party hit so hard. 

You can’t help yourself as you look back towards the shore, and your eyes immediately find him without even trying.  You see Rafe sitting in his chair, Ruthie still in yours. Maybe it’s time you just go home. 

You swim towards the shore and walk up onto the sand. Ruthie doesn’t bother moving from your seat as you get closer. If anything, she’s ignoring you, focusing solely on Rafe. You try not to look at him and grab your beach bag. 

You take a few steps away and pull your towel out, wrapping it around yourself. You attempt to keep your composure as you hear her laugh at something he says, but you can’t help that flicker in your chest. It shouldn’t get to you the way it did. 

“Hey, are you leaving?” 

You look over to see Rafe's eyes on you. He looks slightly disappointed. 

“Yeah, I’m tired from last night,” You shrug. “Think I’m just gonna go home and take a nap.” 

The emotionless expression on his face morphs into a small frown. “You alright?” He asks. 

You nod and force a smile. “Yeah, can you just?” Your eyes dart to Ruthie in your chair, now looking at her phone. “Grab my chair when you leave?”

He grips the armrests like he was about to stand, but he doesn’t. He stays seated, and his lips twitch in annoyance. “Yeah.” 

“Thanks, I’ll uh, I’ll see you later.” You lift your hand in a feeble wave, and he just nods. 

You walk to your car parked not too far away on the sand.  You and Rafe were just friends. That’s all. You just had to keep telling yourself that. You just needed to get over it.

———

A few days later, you find yourself at the country club. Rafe and you had texted occasionally, and he was the one who told you that you should come, but as you stand next to Kelce and sip your iced tea, you see Rafe leaning against the bar, talking to Ruthie again. 

You decided after the beach that you had to keep some distance between the two of you. Give yourself time to just get over it. Over him. But it was getting harder and harder to do so when it felt like the two of them were rubbing…whatever it was they were doing, in your face.

You thought he didn’t like her. He had even told you once how her voice irritated him to no end, and she was a ‘pick-me’. But there he was, smirking as she babbled on about something you couldn’t even follow. You tear your gaze from them and focus back on Kelce, who was rambling on about something with his boat. 

“…and my dad’s pissed ’cause I didn’t ask him before I got it wrapped, like it’s his fuckin’ boat,” Kelce scoffs, sipping his whiskey as he looks at you. “Are you even listening to me?”

You blink. “Yeah.”

Kelce looks over at Rafe and Ruthie, and a small grin crosses his face. “Oh, I see.” He nods like he knows something. 

“See what?’ You frown, praying Kelce hadn’t picked up on your increasing jealousy. 

He laughs a bit and crosses his arms. “Man, if you thought you were obvious before…”

Your brows furrow. “What?” 

“We all know, y’know.” He says, a little less teasing now. 

Your heart starts to beat a little faster. You don’t want to ask, but you have to. “Know what?" Your words come out slow.

Kelce just looks at you like you’re stupid. Like he knows that you know what he means. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Whatever you think, you’re wrong.” Your voice is tight, and you sip your tea as if it would help. You didn’t want Kelce knowing about whatever it was Rafe made you feel. You weren’t even fully sure yourself.

“Sure. I won’t say anything, don’t worry.” He laughs and pats you on the back. It’s then that you feel Rafe’s presence. He steps next to you and looks between you and Kelce. 

“Worry about what?” He asks, eyes darting over you. His voice is casual, but his body is tense.

You just look at him, unable to attempt a lie with him standing so close. 

“Me getting in trouble for throwing last week, and trying to throw again this week.” Kelce shrugs as he saves you, and you look back at him, thankful. 

Rafe just looks between the two of you for a moment. “Why would you worry ’bout that?” He chuckles, rubbing his knuckle under his nose, something he only did when he was bothered. 

“I just—I don’t know,” You shrug. “You know how his neighbors are sometimes.” You sip your iced tea again, like it can help the heat that flows through your chest as he stares you down. “Two parties so close might be too much.”

Rafe nods, and he seems to loosen up. “You need to stop overthinking.” He grins and pokes your arm. His small touch feels like a gut punch, and you instinctively take a small step back.

“Yeah.” You laugh and nod like that’s not what you’ve been trying to do for the past 4 days. Like you haven’t been cursing yourself internally every time you’ve caught yourself thinking back to Kelce’s last party. 

He looks at you for a second, and you hear Kelce get wrapped up in a conversation with one of your friends, but you can’t take your eyes off Rafe.

“We were gonna go to the beach after, do you wanna come?” He asks, leaning down, just so you could hear. 

His closeness makes you feel overwhelmed, and you shake your head. “No, I think I’m actually gonna head home. I’m tired.” You smile at him. 

His gaze softens. “You sure? I can come with you.” It’s a simple offer.  It’s casual and friendly, but you start to think maybe it’s more. You shake your head, more at yourself than anything.

You hate how fast you were about to say yes. But you couldn’t allow yourself to become any more disillusioned with him. 

“It’s okay, I’m just gonna nap. But I’ll see you later.” You say quietly, setting your now empty iced tea on the counter, hoping your rejection of his offer landed well. 

He’s silent for a second as his eyes narrow. “Alright, I’ll see you later.” He nods slowly.

You feel his eyes on you as you say bye to everyone else and push open the country club doors. You can finally breathe as you walk towards your car.

Distance, distance, distance.

taglist: @my-name-is-baby

(lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part!! thank you for the love :') @my-name-is-baby)

[ilions-end]

i finished statius' ACHILLEID. thoughts thoughts thoughts:

i knew going in it was a VERY short unfinished epic, but i didn't know it would be FUN?? if i ever get that time machine, FIRST THING i go back and find one publius papinius statius, i lock him in a room, and i'm NOT letting him out until he's finished the achilleid!

achilles is statius' BLORBO in a way neither homer, quintus nor virgil have blorbos. statius likes achilles to be strong and pretty and graceful, but most of all ENDEARING even when he fails. and he fails a lot, because this is him still figuring out how to be an adult, not to mention a prophesied legend literally everyone is waiting for to step up

the one thing that gets tiring is just how many prophecies permeate the achilleid. nothing's left to chance, there are so few unknowns. even ODYSSEUS was aware that from peleus' wedding there would come a child destined to be a central warrior in an upcoming gigantic war.

as it stands, the achilleid is more of a... thetisiad? she is very centered in the narrative (we spend more time looking at things from her point of view than achilles') and there is SO MUCH SYMPATHY for her, oh my gosh!! she loves ONE person, her son, the only worthwhile thing she got out of a traumatizing marriage, and she despairs that he's fated to die young in a silly human war.

also i'm a deidamia defender forever now. so three-dimensional, so clever!

aughhh i love how much characterization statius puts in, even in the small scenes! my favourite example is odysseus and diomedes as they walk up to lycomedes' place (literally just moving characters from A to B). diomedes teases odysseus, and odysseus is delighted to be teased. that night we're told odysseus CAN'T SLEEP because he's too excited about showing off his plan the next morning!

the unveiling of achilles is completely different from the chagrined defeat/"achilles is a fucking idiot" ways i've heard it retold! i love that it's collaborative, it's a mutual triumph. it's just as much achilles (who's been suffering in gender dysphoria hell for a year) longing to be exposed as it is odysseus LIVING for showing everyone (especially diomedes?) how clever he is. it's not just the shield and the spear and the bugle, it's odysseus playing the part of the siren, whispering in achilles' ear that he knows who he is and describing how glorious he will be on the trojan battlefield. it's achilles' grateful relief at being ALLOWED not to pretend anymore as he rips off his own dress even before the bugle calls

also it's very important to me that the moment he's no longer hunching over trying to make himself look small and inoffensive, we're told achilles is taller than both odysseus and diomedes

i KEEP IMAGINING how good statius would have made the rest!! especially because as book ii ends, achilles regards odysseus as a cool uncle; he's the guy who rescued him! i want to think statius would have put in the big mystery quarrel achilles and odysseus are said to have had early in the war, something to drastically change that affection. i want to know how statius would have handled troilus, and the gods. augh statius you roman BLUEBALLER

an assortment of story beats still revolving in my head:

chiron is such a sweetheart!! he's SO gallant with thetis, he's so affectionate with achilles. he HIDES HIS TEARS when achilles leaves, awww

statius writes out phoinix completely. as a phoinix stan i object. sure chiron can raise young achilles, but i NEED phoinix to tend to him as a baby

i enjoy how achilles EXPLODES into a mess of teenagerly hormones when he first sees deidaima. it's so funny that thetis is looking on (and we get my favourite simile of the achilleid, of a herdsman delighting in a young bull snorting and foaming at a beautiful heifer) like "aaaaand there's my son's sexual awakening. i see! well, we can use that" and THAT explains why achilles is so willing to commit to the female disguise

(listen. listen. few things mean more to me than the love between achilles and patroclus. but achilles is a teenage boy at the age when a fucking breeze will give him a boner, and deidamia is the most beautiful and the cleverest of her sisters. i really enjoy a story where achilles and deidamia are neither "fated eternal true love" or one's a sneaky opportunist. it's much more compelling that they're both knots of budding emotions and bodily feedback)

i notice that statius never uses the name pyrrha, he doesn't seem to have a fake name at all, just "achilles' sister"

lycomedes is SO honoured and proud that thetis is entrusting her daughter to him. i feel sorry for lycomedes, he seems so earnest and hasn't done anything to get tricked

the one thing i can't forgive statius for is that after spending SO much time establishing that achilles and deidamia (who knows he's a guy) are genuinely into each other, it feels like statius goes OUT OF HIS WAY assuring us that their first sexual encounter is rape. sure they talk right after, deidamia forgives him, AND i understand there are social rules that makes deidamia more "honourable" and "worthy" when she resists, but like. sigh.

aLONG with the previously mentioned interplay between odysseus and diomedes as they walk up to lycomedes' court, there's a simile where they're both starving wolves on the hunt. so sexy it's almost illegal

the feast scene is SO FUNNY omg. all of achilles' careful feminine training dissolving because odysseus and diomedes are there with their boundless masculinity for him to feed off of. deidamia practically WRESTLING achilles back down on the couch every time he forgets himself and behaves too much like a man. odysseus chatting with lycomedes SPECIFICALLY trying to rile up achilles, and then after the women have left (achilles dragging his feet and looking back, YEARNING for their male company) odysseus specifically praises the maiden's "almost masculine" beauty (because ohh he suspects. he just needs to prove it in the morning. he can't SLEEP for it)

when they depart, achilles earnestly swears to deidamia that no other women shall ever bear his children. i find it interesting as a reminder of the social rules of its era. neither of them expect achilles to be sexually exclusive, just not fathering potential heirs. which again makes me wonder about the contraceptives in ancient greece

on the ship towards aulis, diomedes begs achilles to tell them all about his feats and training with chiron, and achilles is so shy about it! who can blame him! diomedes has a WAY more impressive track record

odysseus is SO good at firing up achilles' outrage at paris even as he's just catching him up on what the war's about. and he's so pleased at how easily achilles' outrage can be directed! you KNOW that would have developed in such an interesting way AUGH THE REST WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD.

[l0sercat]

NSFW alphabet with King Baldwin IV

Please note that this is not the historical figure but the movie version. Also MDNI for my sake and yours.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's a god at aftercare. Literally will get you whatever you need or want. He puts his needs last. When you take care of him he is shy, but very thankful.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn't like his body that much due to his leprosy. He has to admit he was good looking before and during which he loved his hands, but now they're covered in sores. So maybe his eyes. He loves everything about you but more specially your hair. He loves how soft it is and he likes playing with it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves cumming inside you. He wants to get you pregnant so bad, he wants an heir to the throne when he eventually succumbs to his illness. Even if you can't get pregnant he still loves to cum inside you.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets hard every time he sees you naked. Even if it's not in a sexual context. Taking a bath. Boner. Get dressed boner. Hell if you give him a kiss and shower him in praise he gets hard. He can't help it just loves you so much.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is a total virgin. No experience. I mean he's a strict Christian so obviously no sex before marriage. He is super happy that your taking his first and he gets to experience these pleasures with you.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He really likes doggy. You can't see his scarred body which is a plus. He also likes how he can hit every angle in this position. He wants to make sure you feel good.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Serious 100% He views this act as sacred and something that your taken care of. Making a joke would just ruin the atmosphere.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Does leprosy affect pubic hair? I personally believe that he would try to keep it tame down there. It's not perfect but he put in the effort and that's all that matters.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He is sweet and a little clumsy but it's his first time so. Your pleasure is always number one. You'll have at least three orgasms before he has one.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does not masturbate. He views it as an unholy act. The only way he will cum is by your "hands". Even thinking about masturbating grosses him out.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise. Oh my gosh does he love when you praise him. He feeds off of your praise. He performs better if you praise him. Especially when he cums and you praise him he will go wild.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom. He'll only do it there because it's the safest. Why would he fuck you anywhere else?

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He really wants to get you pregnant, but at the same time he doesn't because he doesn't want his kid to have leprosy. So it's more so that he just really wants to be close to you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation. To him or you. If you say something degrading he will not stand for it and make you apologize immediately. And he could never degrade you because he thinks your near perfect. It would literally kill him to degrade you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He wants to give but is afraid he'll be bad at it and it probably might hurt his scarred skin. He doesn't mind receiving but is awkward the whole time. He doesn't know what to do with his hands.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He is slow until he is on the edge and picks up the pace a bit. His leprosy effects him a bit in this department. He can't go to fast or all his stamina will deplete.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

No, he prefers to take you properly. Also quickies just wouldn't be good because y'know he's king and all. He has no time to quickly fuck you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

No he is comfortable with what y'all have now and that's all he wants.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has bad stamina because of leprosy, so he can't last long. But he makes sure you'll have many orgasms and feel overwhelmed with pleasure. He always prioritize your pleasure over his.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys weren't even invented back then lmfao

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't tease, much. He'll never deny your orgasm but he'll gently poke fun at the way your face is all red and teary eyed.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isn't very loud but he doesn't hold back his voice. You'll hear everything that comes out of his mouth.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He likes when your on top and gently rake your fingers through his hair and whisper praises. And maybe call him your king or majesty.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's about 5-6 1/2-inches long and kinda thick. It has a little scaring due to his leprosy but it looks normal. It is not cut but he does clean it well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's not high but not low. He wants to do it more frequently than he does but his body can't handle it. He feels repulsed by himself but seeing you moaning his name makes him feel better.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After your both cleaned up and taken care of he falls asleep pretty quickly. Your in his arms sleeping and then he falls asleep.

[svelish]

˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

Parenting 101

To Claudia: Do you have a minute?

Billie sent the message to her 'like a sister-in-law' who's out shopping right now with her wife. Ever since you and Billie got together, you and Claudia have become such close friends.

Billie almost didn't want to leave their bed this morning for being so tired last night. Both of them stayed up because their children just wouldn't go to sleep. Well, it was Billie's fault because she gave their six-year-old daughter and almost three year old son dessert before bed time.

You told her that giving them sugar at night will only lead to a lack of sleep for the whole family because of an increased energy level.

But Billie, being none the wiser at the moment and also because she always gives in when it comes to her children, reasons that it's just two spoons of ice cream. Then there they were, their firstborn, Bea, who can now sleep in her pink and white painted room alone, was with you, her mommy dozing off while the little girl was busy playing with her toys.

And Billie, in the adjacent room with their son, Kai, who was just laying down on his bed, but his eyes were still wide awake.

Not until Bea got tired and passed out on her bed beside you while their little boy slowly fell asleep after some rounds of his favorite 'night night' song. Both women tiptoed their way out of their children's bedroom.

"Gosh, that's a lot of energy for a six-year-old." You grunted as you settled down on the bed, while your wife was putting on an oversized shirt before getting in and cuddling with you.

"I'm not allowed to feed them ever again, am I?" She asked you whose eyes were half closed, your head resting on Billie's chest.

You hummed, burrowing your head deeper into Billie's neck, the scent of vanilla body wash that she uses and Billie's particular smell, comforting her that it could lull her to sleep.

You hummed. "You're still allowed, love. But if you insist on giving them even just a pinch of whatever sweet food you have before bedtime ever again, you're not gonna get any kind of sugar from me."

"Copy that, ma'am." Billie mumbled, tilting her head down, kissing the crown of your head while you let out soft snores, her arm tightly draped around your body.

Her phone vibrated over the counter.

"Hey, what's up?" Claudia's voice whispered on the phone.

"Are you guys almost done with your shopping?" Billie asked, biting her lower lip.

She hears Claudia excuse herself, then she hears some rustling on the other line— "Yeah, just about. Are you okay?"

"I need your help," Billie said frantically, not even bothering to greet her best friend.

Claudia stood confused inside the washroom. If this is something urgent shouldn't she be calling her wife first? She thought. "Whatever for?"

"Y/n's ganna kill me. Can you stall her for a few hours? I just need to take the kids somewhere."

"What in the bloody hell had happened?"

"I'll send you a text. Just hold her off for a bit, okay? Thank you!"

Claudia's phone chimed, and she opened Billie's text. Her eyes widened, shaking her head. "Fucking hell.." she mumbled. Before putting her phone back in her pocket and going back to where you were.

-

Earlier

The house is quiet.

Like awfully quiet,

Billie was in Bea's room, putting away the freshly dried and neatly folded clothes of her daughter, putting them back in her closet.

She left them in the playroom, as they watched their favourite tv show while she did the laundry. But there's a monitor installed in their laundry room, so she can see them. Smiling when she heard her son mumble gibberish words to her sister.

He can talk, oh so adorably. He even gets silly sometimes, mimicking the words what his parents and sister were saying as they talk to him. When their son was born, you and Billie thought Bea was going to have a hard time adjusting to the newest addition to their family.

Afraid that their daughter would feel neglected because the newborn child will need more of their attention; but Bea was doing so great as a big sister though, she's been very ecstatic to meet her baby brother, always wanted to stay close to her mom and watch her feed Kai and sometimes help her mom by holding the feeding bottle for his brother's formula.

Her little brother fascinated Bea, always touching his cheeks and his tiny hands. Talking to him like her brother's understanding of her incoherent ramblings. Makes their parents happy and proud.

It's just so fulfilling to watch their family growing, since you and your wife grew up with siblings (or not), it's the greatest feeling to see that their has someone too.

When asked if she wanted another one, she always says why not, because it's been her dream to have a huge family of her own and how lovely would that be, because she's ganna be sharing it with the love of her life.

Everyone loves their darling boy as much as they love Bea. Their auntie Claudia and uncle Finneas were a huge spoiler, buying them things that they thought, especially Bea might like because Kai is still young and she's sure that when he grows up a bit, Claudia and Finneas will definitely spoil him the same.

-

Your daughter has taken a liking to arts and crafts. It's her and Billie's bonding time whenever Billie asks to do it with her. May it be some drawings, watercolour paintings, the mother and daughter even create cute cards, using colour pens.

And now, Billie is in a huge dilemma. After she finished folding her daughter's clothes, she went back down for another load, this time for her and your laundry.

But it's odd that it's awfully quiet upstairs.

"I'll just move you here, okay? Just sit there." Bea told her brother. "This won't hurt, okay?"

"Kay, Bea.." the toddler answered.

Billie furrowed her eyebrows, because she could hear some rustling on the speaker.

"Oh, Kai, don't move." The little girl said.

After loading hers and your clothes, she ran upstairs to the master bedroom to have a quick change of her shirt into a cleaner one, before checking on the children because she feels sweaty and her shirt has got dirty after cleaning up a little in the house while waiting for her laundry to be finished.

She ties her lustrous hair into a loose bun. Noticing that it has got longer again when she just got trimmed last month. Summer in Los Angeles is really hot, that's why whenever they go for a walk in the oark and she knows that she's ganna follow her running kids around, it's not ideal to have her hair down for how hot the temperature was outside.

Bea has long hair too, loves it when her mommy braids her hair and their youngest hasn't got his first haircut. You wanted to keep it growing, beautiful curls that she always tied into a topknot. Showing her son's ample cheeks and the face that has the spitting image of her wife. Both of their kids are actually the carbon copy of Billie and honestly, you can't complain because you love it.

"Baby? What are you up to?"

Billie asks.

She hears Kai giggle again. "tickles, Bea." He said.

"Oh, no," the big sister mumbled.

Then Kai started crying.

Just in time, their mother opened the door wide which was already ajar when she left them. She can hear her son crying. Billie stopped on her tracks, staring wide-eyes at the mess.

Kai was sitting atop one of his sister's chairs that she uses when she plays tea parties with her mothers. Her big sister is behind him, giving her brother a haircut.

Billie gasped at the curly hairs on the floor, then back to her son. Glorious and shiny curls now on the floor and the haircut- Your mummy's going to kill me. She inwardly thought. Not only has her daughter given her little brother a haircut, there's also a slime sticking on his hair.

"Hi, momma." The boy stopped crying, noticing their mother. But there were tear tracks still visible on his pink cheeks. The older child popped up behind her brother and Billie almost fell off the floor.

Her daughter is staring at her, chewing ay her lower lip nervously. It's just like you when she's nervous about something. Right hand holds a pair of zigzag scissors in her hands. Half of her beautiful dark brown hsir is missing from her head.

"Hello, momma."

Billie blinked as her children alternately. There was a chunk of hair missing on her son's head and Bea's bangs had been cut, zigzag patterns visible to it. It was only a tiny scissors that's inckuded in the art materials they got for her. She didn't think that the stupid scissors and could cut two beautiful hairs.

Fucking hell. She closes her eyes. Two things, she could get mad and make it worse because she'll make Kai cry more or she will remain calm and think of an impossible solution on how to fix this mess,

First thing she does is check the time on her phone. Trying to ascertain what to do next as she wills herself to calm down, becaude the damage has been done, and it's not like she could just glue their hair back together, and then it'd okay. She winced at the slime dangling from her son's hair.

"Lord almighty." She mumbled.

She took the pair of scissors from her daughter's hand. "Okay, darling, momma's ganna ask you something. But you have to be honest with me, okay?"

Almond eyes stared at her, lips pouting, almost ready to cry because she could see that her mother looked so serious. "You're not in trouble, darling." Not yet. Why do you think you need to cut yours and your brother's hair?"

Lips quivering, "b-because I want the hair auntie Claudia has."

Claudia, who had a haircut recently, Billie closed her eyes and heaved a deep sigh. Of course. Her daughter loves her auntie Claudia, at this early age she even wants her wardrobe to be like hers. Leather jackets, sweaters, cool pants and all.

She just wished that her daughter would just use her markers and give herself several tattoos on herself just like Billie's, so then Billie could just scrub them off with soap during bath time but the hair. Not the freaking hair!

She stood up and turned the lights on to see how much damage this impromptu haircut session has made to her children's beautiful locks.

"You ganna fix it, mom?" Her daughter, who's probably thinking she's out of trouble, asks her coolly. "But you is not a hair person, momma." She pondered.

Billie dosen't know if she's going to cry or laugh at her daughter's antics. "No, i'm not and I can't tape it back to your head and don't even get me started on that slime in your brother's hair."

"Momma." Tiny voice calls for her again.

"Yes, my darling."

"You have long hair too.

"Mhm."

"How come?"

"Because I haven't cut it yet." And because your mummy likes it, says it's sexy.

"Okay."

She sighed again and called the inspiration for her daughter's new haircut, Claudia. She asked her to stall her wife for a few hours. Her only solution is to bring them to her hairdresser and see if it's still salvageable.

But before she changes her children's clothes and leaves the house, she opens her phone's camera and takes several photographs, sending it to her 'sister-in-law'. With the caption "Because she wants the hair Auntie Claudia has. Fucking hell."

Billie looks at the picture. This might come in handy one day when they grow up and so she could show this to their mummy when she comes home later.

Both kids sat in their car, and booster seats inside her SUV and pulled out of the driveway.

-

It's a mini spa-day for her children. When they entered the salon, her hairdresser already noticed what was happening. "Uh-oh." She said and all Billie could do was nod her head,

Haircut for Kai was easy. The hairdresser used a razor and went on with it. Giving his son a faux hawk haircut. And her daughter, no other option but to cut it into a blunt bob haircut with bangs.

Billie smiled because her kid's new hairdo actually looks good on them. She kisses her son's cheek, still looking at his new haircut. "Look at your hair, darling. There in the mirror. You like?"

"I wike, momma. No moh slime?"

Her son clapped his hand.

"No more." She beamed,

But then she could hear her daughter sniffling. "Mrs Eilish.." the hairdresser calls for her and she walks over to her daughter, who is now crying.

"Honey, why are you crying? Something wrong?"

She sniffled again. "I want my hair back, momma. I want hair like yours!"

"But, darling, your hair is nice, too. See, you look beautiful, and it's short, like Auntie Claudia's."

"No! I want my hair to be like yours, momma!" Fat tears streamed down her face.

Billie could't think of another solution, because her daughter will actually cry until they get home and it feels like this day had been long enough,

"Bea, how about momma getting a haircut like yours, hm? Momma will cut her hair too. Would that be okay with you? We're gonna be the same. Yes?"

She stopped crying and turned quiet, as if thinking thoroughly.

"Like mine?"

"Uh-huh.."

"Okay, momma." Her daughter smiled.

And the haircut she gets. Billie was just hoping that her wife would still find her beautiful with short hair. This is her first time again in a very long time to have her hair cut this short. The two of them, with Billie, are short wolf cut now.

"Wow, momma you look pretty."

"Do I, now? That's very sweet of you, peanut. Thank you."

She looks at herself in the mirror, and it's not that bad.

Billie received a text from Claudia letting her know you were on your way home now. She replied it's fine and that they're home now sending her kid's new haircuts.

"Kids looked beautiful and dashing on their new 'dos. Ha! So proud of my Bea, glad that she LOVES how cool my hair is!😎 And you brought back the wolf cut, i see. Looks good on you! See you soon pls! Love. Xx"

-

When you arrived at home, the house was quiet. But you can smell delicious food being cooked in the kitchen.

"Love?" You called, taking your stilettos off. After the shopping was over, Claudia asked if she could come with you to pick some new furniture for her newly finished house near them.

Although you wanted to go home after the shopping, you opted to go with Claudia, to check out if there's something you'd like to get in the shop.

You put your purse on the couch and went sauntering towards the kitchen. "Love? You in here?" You stood still by the kitchen when you saw a woman with short hair, her back facing you, rummaging through something into the sink.

Billie didn't tell you they'll be having someone over and you didn't know who it was. You didn't want to think about why there was another woman in your house with your wife and while your children are home with them.

You clears your throat. "Uh, hello. Can I help you?"

The woman in front of you shakes their head, still not facing you.

"Um.. Miss? Are you a friend of my wife?" stressing 'my wife' just in case. It's not that you didn't trust your wife, you trust her with all your heart and with your life, it's just the other people around that admire your beautiful wife that you didn't.

"Hello?" she calls again.

The woman slowly turns around to face you and your eyes widen like saucers, in shock to see your wife's long, lustrous hair cut in short like a wolf cut.

"Hi, love." Billie started. Staring at her wife's astounded expression.

"Hey." You mumbled, eye furrowed, looking directly at her.

They could hear the padding of little feet running into the kitchen. "Hi mummy!" Bea greeted you, hugging your midsection. You looked down and gasped. Your daughter has short hair now too.

What the hell?!

The behind, a chubby little hand tugged on your pants, as if you weren't feeling a wave of shock enough, your darling boy's curls are gone too.

"We got a haircut!" Bea exclaimed to her mummy.

"I can see that," was all you could reply to your daughter, eyes back to your now short haired wife.

"You wike, mummy?" The boy asks you adorably.

Kneeling in front of your kids, running your hand through their hair. "Hi buddy, can you please help your brother sit on the sofa in the lounge and watch T.V?" You asks, kissing both of them on their round cheeks.

"Let's go, Kai." The six-year-old said, holding her little brother's hand

Now it was just you and your wife in the kitchen.

"I see you and the kids had a spa day." You said, walking close to where Billis is standing by the counter.

Billie chews on her lower lip, tilting her head down. Sad, thinking that what if you don't like how she looks. "Yeah. You don't like my hair, do you? I-I can go back to the salon tommorow and ask if I could get hair extensions or something-"

Full lips cut her rambling short, kissing her deeply. Billie closes her eyes when she feels long fingers tugging on her shoulders, toned arms locking her closer to you. She couldn't help but moan into the kiss, returning her wife's kisses with fervour.

When they pulled away, Billie's anxiousness dissipated. "I thought you didn't like this new look."

"God, baby. Even if you shave your hair bald, I don't care. You'd still look beautiful. This hair looks sexy. Though I'll miss playing with your long hair, I love this. Fuck, I even thought that there's another woman in my kitchen wearing my wife's shirt."

Billie looped her arms around your waist, their faces, nose, and mouth touching. "Well, this hair is of use then. What do you say about role playing when Claudia takes the kids this weekend? Where it's just you and me. Anything you like,". She whispered, before leaning in one more time for a deeper and hungrier kiss.

"Mummy! Kai and I are hungwy!!!" they hear Bea yelled by the lounge, making the parents stop making out in the kitchen.

Both women chuckled at their daughter. "Now, wifey, can you fill me in on why suddenly my boy's beautiful curls and my daughter's long hair are now chopped off, and she now has bangs that led you into cutting your hair short as well?"

"Well, it started when your daughter thought it would be super cool to have Auntie Claudia's hair..."

[orpheusluvr]

Reward (Norton x Female Reader)

NSFW WARNING

Norton decides to give you a “reward” based on your hard work.

(I lowkey hate the way this turned out but I had to write something for his new skin because seeing that poster had me in a chokehold from day one

I NEED THIS SKIN SO BAD AAAAAAHHH 😫 I LOVE U SO MUCH NORTON)

“I have completed all of the paperwork that you assigned me, Mr Campbell.” You said, placing a pile of papers down on Norton’s desk.

“Thank you. You’re free to leave.” Norton said.

As you nodded and turned to walk away, he immediately stopped you.

“Wait, I forgot something. Don’t leave yet.” He said.

You froze in your tracks then turned to face him again.

He gave you a smile. You hardly saw him smile before, which made your heart skip a beat.

Your boss was extremely handsome and you couldn’t fail to admit that you did have feelings for him, but his face was always so serious. It made you realise that he definitely did not like you the same way you liked him.

But maybe…just maybe…you were wrong.

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be in the same seat as me?” He said.

“Sorry, what?” You said, snapping out of your thoughts.

“Hm…perhaps a demonstration would be better.” His smile turned into a smirk.

Your cheeks began getting hotter. Norton was acting so strangely that this entire moment felt like a dream.

Norton leaned back in his chair, slightly spreading his legs.

“What are you waiting for?” He said.

He looked into your eyes.

“Take a seat.”

You took a moment to process what he just said and your heart began to beat faster as you finally realised.

“You want me to…?” You looked at him.

“Yes, yes. Don’t worry. I won’t bite.”

You walked towards him, his smirk widening as you turned around and sat on his lap. He gently placed his hands around your waist to keep you in place.

“How does it feel?” Norton whispered in your ear. You felt goosebumps run down your spine as his voice sounded so seductive. It made you want to melt in his arms.

“It feels good…sir.” You gulped.

“Drop the formalities, my dear. I’d prefer it if you just call me by my name.” Norton said, while one of his hands trailed down your thigh.

There was no way that Norton could be acting like this all of a sudden on his own. There was definitely something causing it.

“Are you drunk, by any chance?” You said.

Norton gave a laugh.

“Hell no! Alcohol is the last thing I’d want in my body, now that I finally have the perfect life that I desired. I don’t need something like that to ruin it.” He said.

He paused for a moment.

“Ah…hold on. My life isn’t entirely perfect. I still need to marry the woman of my dreams.” He said.

He placed both of his hands around your waist again.

“I’ve had my eye on someone for a while. But I doubt she’s realised any of my signs.” He said.

“I see. Is she someone you’re close with?” You asked.

“Close? Oh, right now we’re very close.” He said, with a laugh.

He immediately thrusted his hips upwards, making a moan escape your lips immediately as you felt something poke at your core.

“Gosh…I wish I was much closer to her, though. So much that I could feel her.” He groaned.

He placed his hand on your chin, making you face him.

“Darling. I want you.” His voice was filled with lust.

The heat in your core was building up with each of his words and actions.

You were too lost in ecstasy to respond to him, still wondering if this was a dream or not. You simply grind against him, letting him know what you wanted.

“I was waiting for this moment for a long time.” He said, satisfied with your response.

Norton kissed the side of your face while his hands trailed towards the buttons of your blouse. You helped him unbutton it, then slipped it off. His hands traced along your bra, teasing your nipples from outside. You whimpered.

“Fuck…you make such good sounds…” Norton said as he unclasped your bra.

Eventually, you were wearing nothing but his jacket. It turned him on even more seeing you all bare and wearing nothing except his own piece of clothing.

His hands grabbed onto your ass while you rode his length, the sound of skin on skin action and your moans echoing in the room.

“N-Nort…” you moaned, grabbing onto his blonde hair as he set his fedora on the desk.

“That’s it baby, keep saying my name…I don’t want to hear you call me ‘sir’ from now on.” He said, leaning in to kiss you.

You closed your eyes, indulging yourself in the kiss while continuously moving back and forth on his dick. He thrusted his hips, which immediately hit your sweet spot and made you moan between the kiss.

Pulling away, he gave a satisfied grin.

“You’ve done enough work now. Let me handle the rest.” He said.

The next day, you were still wondering if everything that had happened was just a dream.

But you were called to Norton’s room again. And your question was answered when he got down on his knees and held up a diamond ring.

[aijunbi]

i wanna be yours

lara raj x fem!reader (7th member of katseye)

req: @lararajjj

a/n: first fic omg. i hope it met your expectations <3 and sorry if it seemed rushed, i had a science project due 😕 i'll probably make another version in the future when my writing develops better

{ synopsis } : you like love lara. you know that in every corner of your heart– yet you bang your head on the wall every night, replaying all the flirty comments lara said to you, wishing that it wasn't all jokes.

{ extra } : fluff, romance, slight jealousy, tw: a bit of arguing (sorry if this wasn't what you wanted, it just occured to me to add it in the fic)

wc: idk, it's probably a lot, i'll count later

═══════════════════════════

"aren't you looking mighty fine today?" a familiar voice called out to you, the tone laced with tease. you immediately froze at the comment, too busy calming your racing heart that began to surpass the limits of beats per minute. "gosh, makes me wanna have you all to myself."

"nice joke," you mumbled. you took in deep breaths, quite hyper aware that your face is flushing redder than a tomato. "get back to practice, lara."

"aw, are you blushing, y/n?" her arm wrapped itself around your waist and pulled you closer. as if you weren't already close enough...

"no? what're you on about." you tried to break free from her hold, only to have her pull you back. as the warmth of her chest seeps into your back, your breathing falters and your heart began to stutter.

"lara, let go."

"you're so worked up today. what's wrong, hm?" she whispers, her voice leaving a tingling sensation on your skin. you let out a shuddering breath as you looked down to see her hands clasped on your stomach, the fabric of your sweatshirt wrinkling due to how tight lara was holding you against her.

"you two! stop flirting and get back to practice," sophia shouted, having been fed up with the lack of focus. what a save, you thought to yourself. lara reluctantly let go– but not without a pout, and went back to her position in the back.

"you enjoyed that, didn't you?" megan teased.

"great, another one." you rolled your eyes, your hands on your hips. what's with everyone and teasing nowadays? megan gave you a sympathetic pat on the back, something you don't need at the moment.

"why won't you tell her how you feel?"

"it's not that easy, meg. if she doesn't feel the same, everything will be ruined."

"stop being so negative would you?" despite megan's best efforts to play off the situation, you still can't help but feel your heart burning with want. you want to be able to hold lara's hand just because. you want to finally be able to kiss those lips you've been dreaming of at night.

and more importantly, you want to be able to call her yours. call her yours and say 'i love you' forever.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

2:38 AM

you lightly cursed under your breath when the keypad beeped too loud as you entered the passcode, hoping it didn't wake an of the girls. you held the handle and turned it, pushing the door inward to enter the house.

taking off your shoes and leaving them at the entrance, you tiptoed through the hall to make your way to your shared room with yoonchae and sophia. the leader might scold you later but all you need to do is to make it back in one piece.

"ahem."

"fuck." you turned around to see lara standing at her doorway, her duck onesie basically asking, urging, you to laugh and wake up the whole house. she raises an eyebrow, seemingly demanding to know where you were to be back this late. "i...was at a friend's house?"

did it seem convincing? no, definitely not with the way you were dressed.

did you try to make it seem convincing? well yes! you always gave your best.

"like hell you were." she looked at you up and down, and you swear, swear on your life, that she was checking you out rather than just looking at you outfit. "where were you? who were you with? you reek of alcohol..." she trails off, every gear in her head turning to know where you could've possibly be at this late into the night.

"ok, look. i was at some get together. it's no big deal, i got a little intoxicated but–"

"i don't care what you were doing. who were you with?" she interrupted you.

"why does that matter?" you furrowed your brows, your patience thinning by the second this conversation went on. "why do care about who i was out with?"

"y/n, just tell me! it's not that hard." her voice raised in volume and you hear sheets shuffling from yoonchae and sophia's room. you secretly crossed your fingers, playing out your cards, hoping that the leader didn't wake up.

"and it's not hard to tell me why you're so nosy about my life!"

"can't i be worried? you're probably hanging out with the wrong people if you're sneaking out!" lara exclaimed. now you're seething. how can she make assumptions like this? especially knowing how you were with people.

"tell me why you're suddenly caring now? out of all the times that you snuck out, i never once mentioned it. i never asked you who you were out with, what you were doing, all that nonsense. that's because i know you!"

lara was taken aback, the way you snapped was foreign almost. your calm, collected demeanor faded right before her eyes and she doesn't know what to do. your chest heaved in anger, your eyes began to get tingly and your vision turned blurry.

"why're you acting all jealous now?" your voice got quieter as tears prickled at the corner of your eyes. great, now the alcohol was getting to you.

"what do you mean?" lara questioned.

"what i mean is," you paused, wiping the tears from your eyes. "why are you only acting jealous now? i tried and tried to get you to be jealous by being close to the girls but nothing ever worked."

"and maybe, i thought you didn't feel the same way, but god fucking damnit, lara! you say one thing and your body language says the other."

"you– you like me?" she pointed a finger at herself and you shake your head. she didn't get the point. maybe she never will.

"fuck liking you, i love you."

lara's face fell and you hope she finally understood the reasons why you look at her like she hung the stars. like she hung your stars. the stars that hang in your sky and spell out her name.

"you're such an idiot." and with that, you turned around and went into your room, leaving lara to stand by herself to process everything you just said. you didn't pay attention to the empty bed on yoonchae's side, or the missing pair of noise canceling headphones on your desk, or sophia's bed having more than one person in it.

you had enough for tonight.

"good night, y/n." despite being muffled by yoonchae's hoodie, sophia's voice still rang through the silent room. it buzzed through your ear like another pop-up ad.

"good night, soph."

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

the next few days were awkward for you, lara, and everybody else. they all heard the conversation you two had, and no one dared to bring it up, not even the mighty leader. wherever lara stayed was where you would leave. you couldn't even bear to stay alone with her for a minute.

"hey, me and the girls are going out." daniela briefly told you as she put on her shoes. you stopped midway bringing the spoon full of cereal to your mouth, looking to the side to see everybody dressed up— but no lara.

oh no.

"im coming with–"

"no. your ass is staying here to work things out with lara." manon pointed an accusing finger at you, only putting it down aftee being told to by sophia. yoonchae only waved to you, quickly leaving because she wanted shotgun, the others racing after her.

"but–"

"you'll do what i say, y/n," sophia said before going out the door, completely leaving you alone with a sleeping lara in her room.

"well shit," you cursed. you hurriedly finished your cereal, placing it in the sink then rushing to your room. if you were in your safe haven, then no one can bother you until everybody gets home. great idea.

. . .

it was, in fact, not a great idea. when lara woke up, you heard her go into the bathroom to get ready for the day despite it already being twelve in the afternoon. you know her morning routine step by step, so after washing up, she'll definitely get breakfast. definitely.

she'll pass by your door, thinking you went with the others. you just need to stay quiet-

"i know you're in your room, y/n."

what. the. fuck.

"sophia told me you're here." of course she did. you slowly got up from your place on the floor, quietly sliding over to the door. "open the door."

your hand reached out but it never quite made contact with the handle. your nerves got to you. what if this go wrong? what if your friendship never goes back to how it was? what if, what if, what if...

"if you don't open this door, i will."

well, you can't have a broken door, can you? you finally held onto the handle, turning it and slightly opening the door, peeking out the crack to see lara.

"what?" you asked.

"let me come in."

"no."

"y/n, im serious."

"...fine." you stepped back and opened the door wider, allowing her to come inside. she sat on the beanbag on the floor, so you sat on the bed furthest away. neither of you wanted to address the elephant in the room, brushing off the actual elephant plushie sitting on yoonchae's bed.

"you're wearing my sweater?" lara started. you blushed and looked down to see that indeed, you were wearing her sweater than you stole from her.

"what about it?"

"nothing."

a beat passed and none of you said anything else. the silence was awkward and it was slowly killing a part of you. the part of you that wants to rush over and jump into her arms. the part of you that wants to tell her all your pent up feelings.

"so, you like me?"

"love, but who cares. wasn't it obvious?" you looked at her, her gaze meeting yours without even meaning to do so. you look away, but she doesn't. she keeps staring like you were the one who created her world.

"then it should've been obvious that i love you too."

"hm?!" you face scrunched up in confusion, looking like an frowning kitty. "you what?"

"i love you too, idiot." lara rolled her eyes, leaning back into the beanbag. "it developed when you stopped sleeping over in my room. i think it was because i missed having you as a pillow."

you couldn't help but chuckle, quickly collecting yourself and returning your face back to neutral. "why didn't you say anything?" the question was a bit hypocritical but you had a good reason for why you chose to stay silent about your feelings.

"better question, why didn't you?"

"i was scared. i mean i had every right to be. look at you, then look at me. a gorgeous girl and adam sandler female version," you confessed. your fingers fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, loose threads everywhere but you love it.

"what if i told you i like the way you look?"

"quit lying for once."

"im not." lara got up and walked over to you, sitting down right next to you on the bed. the mattress dipped from the added weight. "you're really pretty. if anything, i should've been the one who was scared to make a move."

"yet you made every move in a chess guide book."

"stop flaming me, would you?" she laughed, making you laugh along as well. she took in a deep breath, turning her head to look at you. "im sorry for getting a little nosy that night."

"forgiveness pending.."

"and that's fine." her hand found yours in the middle, intertwining your fingers with her's. her hands feel cold. she scoot in a little closer, her hips making contact with yours. "you'll forgive me in the end, right?"

"whatever helps you sleep at night." you joked. she lightly smacked your arm but even so, she still gave a little giggle.

"what does this mean? labels and all."

"we'll figure it out." you turned you head to finally face her, the distance between your faces just inches away. "but what we know for sure right now is..."

"that we can officially kiss and make up?" lara perked up, a little too hopeful. you smile, leaning in.

"yeah, sure. let's go with that." your lips finally connected with hers and goodness, you wished you spoke up a little sooner because kissing her felt just right. it felt like cereal and milk for breakfast, or a fancy steak dinner on an anniversary. or chocolates and flowers on valentine's day. everything perfect can't even sum up to the feeling of this.

and nevertheless, you want the feeling to remain the same forever and ever. in this life or another.

(a/n: #rushed because of a science poster)

[maraudereestauderelb]

Dirty Secrets on a Tour Bus (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

My 666 Followers Special — Thank you so much, guys!

Let's celebrate this unholy milestone with style🖤🔥

After weeks of no privacy on tour, you finally get a moment alone – just you, some wine, and your own wandering hands. But of course, Nikki Sixx always knows how to show up at the worst (or best?) possible moment. Tension, teasing, and everything you've been trying to ignore boil over fast…

“Fuck, what were you up to before I got here, baby?”

Warnings:

smut (18+), masturbation, oral (fem. giving), thigh riding, semi-public risk, power dynamics, teasing, language, voyeurism mention (Tommy 😬), light choking, first-time oral (giving)

Tagging some moots, I think might like this: @calicodarkling, @rock-n-roll-queen, @southerntigress, @nyxxnoir, @their80smichelle, @estrangedillusions, @emerysposts, @angelsixxdoll

Alone... you couldn’t even remember when you had been alone for the last time during the past two weeks. Definitely not more than ten minutes in a bathroom. So, you had decided to stay in the tour bus while the others went out to party. Just a few hours to yourself with silence... 

You had wanted to simply read some things, to get a little inspiration, to get some ideas for songs. But Jesus, only God knew when you’d get the chance to be alone the next time! Touring as the opening act for Mötley Crüe was fun but definitely draining.  

You were lying in your bunk completely undressed with an almost empty bottle of red wine and were gently caressing your skin. All this talk about sex all the damn time, and guess who wasn’t getting any? 

You were almost unbearably tense, but you’d take matters into your own hands. Gentle touches over your breasts and thighs sent goosebumps all over your body. It had been way too long! But you told yourself to keep it slow... you had hours until the others would be back, no need to rush. You had thought about putting on low music but you didn’t bother to get up. 

You repeatedly teased yourself by getting closer and closer to where you needed to be touched without ever making it all the way. And while one of your hands was caressing your body the other was buried in your hair. You were getting completely lost in your thoughts and fantasies when out of a sudden someone banged against the door of the bus. 

You opened your eyes alarmed and grabbed the blanket. Luckily, you had remembered correctly, the door seemed to be locked. Who the fuck was already back?! And why?! Fuck, you were way too tense to be interrupted now! How on earth were you supposed to handle this?! You needed a shower. A cold one. But there were no fucking showers! 

Maybe whoever it was would go away if you didn’t react. Or maybe whoever it was didn’t have a key and had to get one first... enough time to... 

„Y/N?!“ 

Your head dropped back to the pillow with an annoyed sigh.  

„C’mon open the door! What are ya even doing? Gonna get you to the party!“ 

Hadn’t you made clear that you didn’t want to party for once?! 

„Please?“, Nikki asked hopefully and although you hated yourself, you got up. Quickly, you grabbed an oversized Shirt, that was long enough to cover everything, from underneath your bunk and walked towards the door. You’d quickly tell him that you didn’t want to party. That would be it. 

„What do you want, Nikki?! I said, I’m not going out t’night“, you told him annoyedly as you opened the door. You were tense and wanted him to piss off. 

 „Gosh, why so angry, baby?“, he smirked.  

„I’m not“, you sighed: „What is it?“ 

It was always complicated with Nikki. Never easy. You had known each other for years and he had pulled the strings to get your band on tour with them. You knew he cared, which made it even harder to understand what the hell was going on between the two of you. 

„Wanted to take you to the party“, his smirk didn’t fade. 

Why did he have to look so darn cute?! 

„I don’t wanna.“  

„Why? Ya havin’ your own party here?“ 

If he only knew... 

„I- No. I’m just tired.“  

„You don’t look tired.“  

You knew. You weren't tired. You were tipsy and horny! And he was the absolute last person you needed to see right now. There was always tension between the two of you, whenever you were together but besides a few make out sessions, nothing had ever happened. Kisses, no one ever bothered to talk about. It was confusing. You knew, he wasn’t the type for relationships, but whatever was going on between the two of you was more than a stupid friendship as well. 

„Nikki...please...“ 

„Let me come in.“ 

Why? Why? God, why?? 

���Don’t you wanna go back to the party?“ 

„Nah“, the black-haired shrugged and walked past you into the tour bus: „Not without my baby girl.“ 

You rolled your eyes.  

„Why do you even care? “Like you won’t just disappear after an hour to fuck some bitch in the restroom.“ 

„Wow, someone’s tense tonight“, he realized and turned around to you amused: „Why are ya angry with me, doll?“ 

„I’m not angry with you! I just-“  

„Need some dick?“ 

Your mouth fell open. 

„Piss off, Nikki!“ 

And while you were getting more and more angry, he seemed more and more amused. Which only infuriated you more. 

„Calm down, Y/N“, he said low and slowly walked towards you. 

Hopefully he’d just walk past you and leave the stupid bus! You were so done! 

But instead, he stopped in front of you and softly raised your chin, so you had to look at him before he gently placed his lips on yours. You closed your eyes in response and kissed him back. You tasted the whisky on his lips before he broke the kiss for a moment with your noses still touching. 

„Better?“ 

You nodded almost unrecognizable before you kissed again. This was such a stupid idea. Usually, it wasn’t a great idea but, in the state, you were in currently, it was outright stupid. But you savored the kiss too much to break it. God, you needed this. 

You let him pull you back to one of the sofas at the front of the bus where he sat down and pulled you onto his thigh. 

The kiss got more and more heated, and you couldn’t stop your hips which automatically moved against him in a pace that was fast enough to ride up your shirt. 

Nikki had his hands on your hips and helped you move when he realized you weren’t wearing anything underneath the shirt at all. With a devilish smile he said: „Fuck, what were you up to before I got here, baby?“ 

You didn’t answer but pressed your lips onto his even more desperately. Nikki’s grip got tighter on your hips until he moved them underneath your shirt to cup your breasts, forcing a soft sigh out of your lips against his. 

Your entire body tingled when he whispered into your ear: „Get on your knees for me.“ 

Nervousness ran through you. 

„Nikki, I-... I’ve never done that before“, you admitted and looked away, knowing you were blushing. He used one hand to turn your face to him again. 

„And you think that does make me want you less, babe? Because fuck, now I want your mouth even more.“ 

His words didn’t take your nervousness away, but they made you smile so you nodded and he kissed you again before you slipped down between his legs. 

He watched as you tentatively placed your hands on his thighs before you opened his black leather pants and freed his already hard shaft. Your left hand continued its way upwards to caress his stomach tenderly while your right moved to grab hold of his shaft. You weren’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like you had never seen what you were supposed to do, but your heart was beating right out of your chest. 

“Grip me tighter,” he said, voice low and rough. “Don’t be shy, baby.” 

He kept his eyes on your face, catching the slight furrow of your brow as you focused. 

Your hand was warm against him, and when you slowly stroked up and down, you hoped it felt right. His pleased grunt told you it did. A blush bloomed across your cheeks as you glanced up at him. 

“Getting the hang of it?” he teased. 

You squeezed him firmly in reproach. Nikki just grinned down at you and bucked his hips, fucking himself into your grip.  

His teasing gave you more and more confidence, so you took him into your mouth. 

„Shit“, he swore: „Do that again.“  

You gave him an innocent smile, but did as he told you. 

“That’s it”, he rasped, fingers threading into your hair as he lost control. You were breathless now, your chest rising with each inhale. 

“Shit, baby”, he groaned, completely mesmerized by the way your lips moved around him. He tried to be gentle as his grip tightened, guiding you lower with a trembling hand. 

“Y/N”, he warned, his voice strained, right on the verge - yet when he attempted to pull you back, you pushed forward, taking him deeper and sucking with purpose. You didn’t stop until he came, your name spilling from his lips like a prayer. 

„Fuck, baby, that was awesome“, he moaned and looked down to you again before he let his head roll back: „Come up here...“ 

You followed suit, sat back down on his thighs and sighed into the following kiss. 

„Are ya sure that was your first time doing that?“, he smirked between lazy kisses and closed his pants. Without answering him you just sealed your lips again and moved your body against his. Gosh, this had just gotten you more tense and needy! 

You blamed the wine. 

„Do ya need to get off?“, Nikki asked challenging and kissed your neck with his hands on your thighs again. You nodded desperately. 

„I can’t hear you.“ 

What an ass. „Yes...“ 

„Yes, what?“ 

„I need to get off...“ 

„Alright, angel“, he smirked and moved you over his left thigh. Automatically you grabbed his shoulders for balance. You couldn’t help but sigh the moment the fabric touched your already sensitive and bare core. What was he doing? 

“Go on, then”, he said with a smirk, guiding your hips gently against his thigh in a slow, steady rhythm. You let out a louder moan, biting down on your lower lip as your fingers dragged across his chest, nails short but sharp enough to leave faint pink trails. With a shaky breath, your hand found the waistband of his pants, gripping it for support as you prepared for what came next. 

Nikki exhaled deeply, settling back against the couch, clearly enjoying the view. You rolled your hips once, then again, using him for balance as pleasure began to build fast and hot in your core. God, you hadn’t expected it to feel this good. 

His palm slid across your stomach, making you flinch slightly at the sudden contact. But it didn’t stop. His hand glided up your torso, tracing between your breasts beneath your shirt. The other hand came to rest around your neck, firm but not forceful, and your eyes fluttered shut, rolling back slightly from the sensation. That was just the kind of effect Nikki had on you. 

Neither of you spoke. He let you move at your own pace, eyes fixed on you, his hand around your neck offering just enough control to ground you. You’d never done anything like this before—but it didn’t take long to figure out exactly what made you feel good. 

When suddenly the door to the bus sprung open with a loud bang against the wall. 

„Dude, what the fuck’s takin so lo- Oh“. 

You quickly stilled your movements and turned around to where Tommy was standing. You knew that from where he was standing, he wasn’t able to really see what was going on because you were still wearing the very big shirt, but he wasn’t a complete idiot so he quickly must’ve realized something was happening. 

„Fuck off, Tommy!“, Nikki shouted at him annoyed. 

„Okay, okay, I’m sorry“, the drummer smirked and raised his hands in defense: „Didn’t know ya guys are busy.“ 

You were completely still when you felt how Nikki started to move his thigh against you. It took fuckin everything in you not to moan! Why was he doing this to you?! 

„Tommy, jus’ close the fuckin’ door“, you told him with a shaky voice. You probably sounded utterly needy and desperate. 

„From the outside or are you gonna let me watch?“, he grinned. 

„Next time“, Nikki answered with a smug smirk. 

Tommy laughed as he walked out of the bus and closed the door again. 

Fuck, this was so embarrassing! 

„We should’ve probably locked that door...“, you mumbled unsure of what to do and being completely still. 

„Forget about him“, Nikki told you: „Look at me.“  

You did as he said, your gaze locked on his gorgeous eyes as he guided your hips with steady control. Breath quickening, you panted softly as he worked your sensitive core against him, sending sparks through your body. When his hand returned to your neck, squeezing the sides just enough to make your pulse jump, a low moan slipped from your lips. 

„That’s it, baby. Make yourself feel good“, Nikki whispered, thoroughly enjoying watching you lose yourself like this. You were so close - just a few more rolls of your hips - and then it hit. Your climax crashed over you, thighs tightening around his as waves of pleasure rippled through your body, leaving your mind blank and your limbs trembling. As you panted, still lost in the aftershocks, Nikki let go of your neck and leaned in, catching your lower lip between his in a slow, possessive kiss. 

When you regained your senses, Nikki was rubbing your thighs with his rough palms and kissed your neck.  

„Enjoyed that?“, he asked cheekily, as if he didn’t know you were absolutely crazy for him. 

„Uh-huh“, you grinned dumbly, satisfied and a bit drained. 

„Let’s getcha to bed then, doubt you gonna be able to party tonight on these wobbly legs“, he said with a smirk and placed both of your legs around his waist again before he got up carrying you. 

Lazily you placed your arms around his neck and hung onto him, feeling entirely at ease and satisfied.  

„Only if ya stayin’ with me“, you said hopefully and looked at him with big eyes. 

-> MASTERLIST

[tch8mnis]

why?

warnings: cursing, heart breaking angst, weddings, mentions of pregnancy. jude fucked up loool

word count: 1000

the sun beamed down on the beautiful girl in front of him. the long white dressed complimented her brown skin. the mix of different people sat only a few feet away from them, both of their parents in the front with tears in their eyes watching their children continue their love story since 12 years old.  the alter was beautifully decorated. the white peonies really stood out as it matched the flower in her hair. the 2 foot wedding cake stood behind the crowd of people with two mini figures of them standing on the top. jude made sure to get an extra small cheesecake though, because he knew that was her favorite. the birds chirping in the air was the cherry on top for this atmosphere.

so why did he feel this way?

this day was supposed to be the best of his life. tying the knot with his childhood lover was a big moment for him and her. he's been waiting for this day ever since younger him promised that they'd stay together forever back on the playground. today he woke up with a smile on his face, ready to make his lover a wife.

so why?

why did he have this dread behind his brown eyes? why did he suddenly feel this negative aura around him as the wedding officiant began his speech. why did he have the urge to run away? run away from reality. from his family. from the love of his life. 

he should be happy. fucking hell he should be buzzing. he should be over the moon with excitement. he loves her so much.

so fucking much.

then why?

he looked into the eyes of his girl. both their hearts full of lover. she pressed her lips together before opening her mouth to say her vows. he should've been listening. gosh he should've listened to her words. but that aching feeling in his chest made her speech go through one ear and out the other.

the officiant turned to him and indicated he said his vows. so he did. he memorized them for months now. he wrote them down on a piece of paper the day before he proposed as if he knew she would say yes. he guesses his instincts was right then because there they were standing at the alter. he read his vows 3 times everyday leading up to the moment. he put his heart and soul into those words. he didn't realize he was done speaking until he saw the tears roll down her face. those words had warmed her heart tremendously.

so why did it leave a bad taste in his mouth?

the officiant started speaking again but he didn't hear a word. a smile was plastered on his face. but why did it feel so fake? he felt himself start to tear up. but was it tears of happiness or sadness and dread?

gosh he felt so guilty. he was ruining this day for the both of them and he didn't know why. it wasn't on purpose. of course it wasn't. it just happened.

he wanted to stop feeling this way. this day should be filled with happiness for fuck sake. he needs to get his shit together and act right. he can't do this to the person he loves.

so why did he?

why did he feel his heart drop when he saw his lover say those two words. those two words that should've been the easiest words to say in his life but now somehow the hardest.

he felt all eyes on him, anticipating his answer. an insane amount of pressure on his shoulders. he should be saying "i do". he has to say "i do". both his heart and his gut was telling him to say "i do." he needs to say it.

why’d he say the opposite?

why didn't he feel anything when he saw his lover's face drop as her eyes went wide. why didn't he feel anything when she whispered that heartbreaking "what?" with more tears rolling down her face and her shoulders sagging with disappointment and embarrassment? why did he feel nothing when he heard the gasp of the crowd and met the heartbroken eyes of his mom who looked at him with disappointment?

he felt overwhelmed with the amount of eyes on him. so he did what he knew best.

he ran.

he rushed down the pathway covered with flowers and made his way towards the entrance of the ceremony leaving his woman behind with a bleeding heart.

he swore he heard a loud sob come from behind him and his heart broke even more but he convinced himself he didn’t and it was all in his head.

he pulled out his phone and texted his personal driver who arrived in no more than 90 seconds.

he sat himself in the back seat and the car immediately drove off. the driver asked zero questions.

the reality of what he did hit him 20 minutes later, still stuck in the back seat of a car. he was so stupid. so fucking stupid. he wanted to disappear. he felt so ashamed. but he still did it.

his phone made a noise. someone had texted him. he looked down and saw his brother's name. he opened the conversation and his heart dropped. it was one picture. one picture that changed his whole life.

the picture was of inside a box that was wrapped up. there sat an ultrasound picture and a stick that had two red lines on it.

his hands felt sweaty and his eyes went blurry.

that was one of his biggest dreams. to build a family with her. have kids and live in a big house to grow old with each other. that's what he wanted. that's what he always wanted. and he ruined that.

she was pregnant and he had no idea.

she planned to surprise him and he made her worse nightmare come true.

what the fuck had he just done....

and why?

authors note: i GENUINELY don’t know why i wrote this 😭 i was reading a whole lot of jude angst today and this idea suddenly came to my mind?? what’s wrong with me lmao IM SORRY 💔💔💔

request always open!

[sportswriters]

tsunami - w. eklund

pairing: william eklund x reader | fluff, slight angst, a bit suggestive at the end | friends to lovers | wc: 3k+ | warnings: one of the main characters got cheated on in the past | namu's notes: i was WILLING to write a smut for this one but i'm struggling to do it, so i'll post it before ella reads the open ending (she might actually k*ll me). yeah, byeee!!

i'm going under storm, lightning, thunder i'm drowning in the deepest of truths fuck, i think i'm falling for you — tsunami, by niki zefanya

it happened during a gathering with your friends. well, they weren’t around at the time, some of them lost the game you played to decide who would run to the grocery store before the second period started. you and william were left alone in the living room, your legs over his lap on the couch, which he was mindless tracing his fingers on your skin. the commercial playing on tv was something about taking your lover to one of the most beautiful places on earth — valentine’s day was close by. the invitation got lost on the tip of your tongue, that’s when you realized.

"oh gosh."

"what?" he looked at you.

"i like you!"

"you what?"

"i think i'm falling in love with you!"

you were terrifyingly excited over something so sensitive, that’s why william kept his eyes on you, waiting for the laugh telling him it was a joke. but what he got was a shy giggle as you jumped off the couch, covering your face.

he knew you were aware of his issues with romantic feelings, he knew you were aware of his past relationship. what just happened?

"y/n..."

“goodness, this is so fun! i know you're emotionally unavailable, don't worry,” you pointed.

"it’s not that— listen, you just confessed out of nowhere and it looks like i just proposed to you!"

"yes! i finally know how it feels! isn't it great?!"

william frowned, utterly confused by your reaction. he couldn’t get why you were so happy when you knew he didn’t feel the same. his first girlfriend was his first love back in sweden, but things got messy when he got drafted to the nhl. that was when her behavior started to make sense; how she kept on shaming him for being romantic, that he didn’t have to be so performative about his love — even in private. “that’s not the aura of a professional athlete, okay? you’re so charming, try being more cooler towards me, that’ll keep me interested,” she used to say. he was so blinded by his feelings for her that he didn’t realize how alarming that was. he molded his behavior to please her, just to be cheated on with a guy that was cooler than him, the ideal man to just have fun and enjoy popularity. william didn’t know he was molding himself to become a ladder. then when other women looking for fun started showing up in his life, he came to terms with the environment he would live in from that moment on.

“y/n, i’m not ready for this. we talked about it before."

"listen," you paused to look at the door, lowering your voice so you wouldn’t get caught by your friends. "it’s like an experiment."

"what the hell? what's that supposed to mean? you're scaring me." william put a hand over his chest.

you sat by his side once again, as ready as you would be for a business presentation.

"i want to experience this. i want to give you my feelings and enjoy this while i can. since you won't feel the same, i can easily get over you later."

"that's not how it works, dear."

"i will make it work."

william covered his face and groaned. damn, she’s adorable, he thought.

"please, please, please!" you begged. "this is such a big moment for me, you know i’ve never been in love before."

"and why would you like me?" he stared, making you gulp.

"i have a lot of nice things to tell you, but only if you agree. i'd never do something to make you uncomfortable."

the longest william pondered, the longest you scanned his face — and the need to kiss him all over was strong. he noticed when you got lost in your own thoughts and squinted, holding a smile to himself.

“alright, let’s do this.”

the touch of his hand on your cheek brought you back, making a radiant grin flash on your lips. you went to hug him, but stopped mid action, silently asking for permission. when he crossed his arms around your waist, everything made sense. the scent of his cologne was usually the one that got stuck on your clothes because not only you were always together, but william used to be the last one to hug you goodbye after taking you home. the warmth of his body was also responsible for everything you were feeling in that moment, which kind of hurt to think that you wouldn’t be able to be this close anymore without making it weird for him.

later, you got home and did your night routine, excited about your team’s win and for the realization about your feelings. william wasn’t allowed to take you home that night, “i might not be able to hold myself from kissing you, so let me get my uber in peace.” you didn’t realize how he had to turn around so you wouldn’t see him blush.

you: permission to be corny eky: sighs- permission granted you: i hope you show up in my dreams tonight, hopefully it won’t be weird i won’t tell you if it is eky: and if it’s sexy? you: do not flirt with a woman in love if you’re not willing to give her what she wants eky: my lips are sealed. you: i like them, btw eky: my lips? you: yeah, love when you smirk trying to pretend i’m not the funniest person you know and i love when you laugh out loud, even when i can hear from a distance i love how it makes your nose wrinkle, it’s adorable eky: i’m not adorable, but thank you you: you are to me i’m so excited to be cheeky when i notice all the things that made me feel like this eky: glad you’re having a good time you: sorry you don’t feel good about romance anymore, thank you for not being weird about me eky: it’s okay, you deserve to know how it feels i’ll try to be a great first love for you you: oh my heartbeat is speeding up right now, gotta blast eky: cute sweet dreams you: goodnight, eky

you took a long time to sleep, your racing thoughts didn’t give you a break. your mind kept replaying the events and planning everything for the next day. one of them was telling one of your closest friends, so she would prevent you from going crazy when necessary. the following days, you worked with a silly smile on your face, dismissing your colleagues that teased you about it. you spent some of your breaks writing love letters, giggling like a high school girl because of how exciting everything was. the butterflies on your stomach, the scenarios playing in your brain, the chills every time you thought about william’s touch. you allowed yourself to be delusional, to enjoy every sensation of pure joy that love delivered.

“how will he talk about other girls if he knows you like him? it’s not like he can keep acting normal,” lena said after you spilled what was going on.

“he already didn’t before, so.” you shrugged. “have you seen him with someone lately?”

“no, but that’s not the point. you want to enjoy the feeling of being in love, but you need to be realistic that it will hurt because it’s unrequited.”

“yeah, he’ll keep on living his life…”

“i love it for you, it’s such a beautiful feeling.” she held your hand. “i need you to be careful, don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“i get it, thank you for helping me back down a little,” you said, a tight smile on your lips. “i’ll be seeing him tonight, i’ll give him the love letters i wrote.”

“love letters?” she gasped and started laughing. “girl, you’re down bad!”

“i am!” you admitted, covering your face. “i’m wondering if this is considered some kind of love bombing because i’ll have to get into a lockdown at work for the next week.”

“well, depending on his reaction to your actions, he might show up at your door just to spend time with you,” she suggested. “you know eky is a romantic, he’s just been through a lot.”

“yeah, don’t want to scare him off,” you worried. “well, once last month i wasn’t responding enough so he showed up with groceries and nagged at me until i took a break.”

your friend squinted her eyes, suspicious.

“have you ever considered how comfortable eky is with you in comparison with the rest of us?”

“i didn’t, it’s just that i’m more of a touchy person, but he has other love languages with everybody.”

“i agree, i love my quality time with him, but i sense it’s so different from what i see between you two.”

“okay, don’t do this. i’m already struggling not to jump on him, i don’t want to think of the possibility of any truth in his flirting.”

“he flirts with you?!”

“yeah, well, he has these witty responses to my confessions. you know how cocky he can be.”

“y/n, my love, i need you to be so serious right now.”

“it’s enough that he’s letting me enjoy this first love thing, i won’t go further than that. period.”

“okay, okay. once again, be careful, but pay a little more attention. i might not be overreacting here.”

you arrived at william’s place with your heart in your sleeve. that could be a metaphor or simply all the words you wrote in those journal pages, mixed with cute doodles and printed pictures of you two. you were focusing on not being embarrassed when he opened the door. william looked like the cuddliest human being on earth, his soft cologne taking up your senses when he immediately hugged you.

“hey, dear. craving sushi tonight? it might be here at any moment.”

“sushi is nice,” you agreed, throwing yourself on his couch.

“how was work today?”

“pretty calm right now, to be honest. but we’ll be locking down for the next week to step up in the research of this new found element.”

“oh, are we talking about nasa classified shit?”

“no!” you burst out laughing. “it’s just that we need to have a lot ready for the seminar at the end of the month, so i’ll be working even at home.”

“got it. so i won’t be seeing you for a whole week?”

your eyes softened instantly.

“i think so. i don’t know how i can make it work, lena already said she’ll be texting every three hours to check if i’m taking care of myself.”

“well, i can do that in person. did that before, no?”

“yes, indeed. but what about the games?”

“i can’t accept that you won’t watch them, so i gotta show up and talk about each of them. i’ll be resting as well, so don’t worry about me.”

“okay, you know where the key is.” you smiled. “now tell me how you’re expecting the next matches.”

couple hours later, after you and william devoured the japanese food, he put on the highlights of a game you missed recently. he ended up as one of the top stars, skating around and scoring like he owned the opponent’s ice. at some point, though, your focus changed from the tv to his face, expressions immersed in every aspect of his story.

“y/n.”

“i can’t stop looking at you, what the hell,” you muttered, regretting as soon as it came out.

“kinda creepy,” he teased.

“i know!” you admitted, averting your gaze. “i just like seeing you happy, that’s all.”

his eyebrows raised, william couldn’t hold back the grin hearing you be so forward with your words. he liked watching you be in love, although he still didn’t know how to deal with the fact that he was the one you were in love with.

the silence didn’t go unnoticed by you, which suddenly made you self conscious.

“too far?”

“hm?” william was brought back. “no, don’t worry.”

“now i’m thinking back on giving you the love letters i wrote.”

william gulped, turning his whole body towards you.

“you wrote me love letters?”

“you don’t have to read them, to be honest. it was good for me to reflect on what made me like you romantically when i already loved you as a friend.” unable to hold his gaze, you looked back to the tv now paused in a random player. “and it’s been kind of hard not to touch you like usual or feeling all the time that i’m making you uncomfortable or how you can’t talk to me about other women because you don’t want to hurt me.”

william held your hand, stopping your ramble.

“dear, look at me.” he touched your cheek. “i love you, alright? nothing’s changing that. i feel honored to be your first love, i don’t feel uncomfortable at all. and there’s no other women to talk about.”

you tilted your head and chuckled, making his hand drop from holding your cheek.

“thank you for reassuring me, eky.”

“well, there’s actually a woman that’s been writing me love letters and i still haven't had the chance to read them. i’ll update you when i do, though.”

you laughed, biting your lower lip to hold a gasp when you noticed he was closer than before, his other hand still holding yours. his warm touch was making you dizzy.

“i saw you sighing and licking your lips, dear. you’re not subtle at all,” he said, finding hilarious how he could watch you be a mess in front of him. he was loving every second of it.

“i wasn’t trying to be. i’m more focused on thinking of something else.”

“yeah? like what?”

“like how i’ll hide my spare key so you won’t actually see me for a week,” you whispered. “i need time away from your touch, ‘cause right now it feels like we both want the same thing.”

you noticed when his eyes quickly dropped to your lips, then back to your eyes.

“and what do you want right now?” he whispered back, a haze starting to grow in his eyes.

“i want to go home and hopefully not dream of you tonight,” you said, standing up mid sentence. it confused you to see william seemingly disappointed with your reaction. “this week will be good for us, i mean, i can’t wait to go back to normal.”

william hummed quietly, his body defeated against the couch’s backrest. he was exactly the opposite of you, his eyes wouldn’t leave you for a second.

“i’ll be counting the days ‘till i see you.”

“william!”

his eyes went wide when your tone raised.

“the past week has been fun, but i’m starting to feel sorry for myself.” you bit the inside of your cheek. “i’m in love with you, that’s nice, now it’s time to start getting over it so i can be you dear friend again.”

william frowned, but no words came out of his mouth.

“i think i exposed myself enough, so i won’t give you the letters. i’ll take them as memories of a good time,” you decided, a smile tinged with sadness. “in the future, when it happens again, i’ll recognize it easily enough to do something about it sooner.”

“dear, i’m really sorry.”

“no, it’s my fault. i know what you went through, i know your reasons, that’s why it needs to stop now.” you nodded. “i don’t feel bad about liking you, though, it’s not that. i’m glad my heart made the right choice, it was just not the right timing.”

you got your purse and headed for the door. you heard a frustrated sound coming from him, but you didn’t look back.

“förbaskat, this is not fair,” he muttered, standing up to catch you before you opened the door. “y/n, wait.”

“yeah?”

“i can’t stop myself from living a real love story just because someone else hurt me. i don’t know why my mind got so blurred when i know i’m happy with you, it’s freaking dumb to let you go when i feel the same.”

you didn’t dare to interrupt his train of thought — too shocked to do that, honestly.

“i want to read all your letters, to hear all your confessions, i want to write you my own as well, to tell you beautiful words even though they won’t be as poetic as yours. being loved by you is amazing, loving you is amazing. i don’t know how different it can be from what i already feel. i want you emotionally and physically, i want to be the one you're still in love in the future. so please don’t give up on me yet, let me try to be the boyfriend you deserve.”

william waited, almost out of breath. you just stared back at him, thoughts going crazy around your head.

“eky,” you whispered.

“yes, dear.”

“i have this need right now to kiss the hell out of you. all the touches i held the past week are tingling my skin for having you so close.”

“i can take you, baby. just say the word.”

your purse dropped to the floor, you took a step closer to him.

shake my earth, suck the air out, burn me down it's like you've known me through all my past lives what an evil thought wreck my plans, stop me dead, kiss me now

“your love, give it to me. don’t hold back.”

his hands were all over you in a second. it seemed like william was doing his best to be delicate with the first kiss, but your enthusiasm matched his, which turned everything too intense. your hands went down his sweatshirt, the warmness of his skin against your hands gripped a moan out of the both of you. he reached the back of your thighs and picked you up without warning, ripping a small scream from you, which made you both laugh.

“that was freaking sexy, but don’t scare me like that.”

“sorry,” he pampered you with kisses all over your face. “promise to be more vocal from now on.”

“oh, i expect you to.”

“you’re a freak, dear. hope you’re ready for me.”