#goro learns yaldy could effectively hide from humans in his inert form as the grail

[cherubchoirs]

with the daldabaoth au thing, imagine how hurt akira might be at first realizing goro wants to kill his dad :( he might even feel used like goro only liked him to get close to his dad

I ACCIDENTALLY JUST KIND OF RAMBLED ABOUT THIS AU BECAUSE I’VE BEEN LOVING IT SO LIKE. HERE’S SOME GODHUNTER DRAMA FOR YOU.

YEA that’s pretty much exactly how it goes ;o; akira is really fascinated by humanity and he loves to make friends, he loves to help people with his unique perspective, but he’s also definitely very guarded considering he knows what would happen if anyone found out who he is. so, very much like in canon, akira is great at getting others to open up to him, but he rarely does the same in return, too afraid that any personal details will be looked into and he’ll be discovered by the wrong people. as a cognitive being, akira does have a little bit of insight into the emotions and motivations of others, but being in reality really messes with his ability to be totally accurate (yaldabaoth retains this ability to a much higher degree, but he still has plenty of trouble himself as surviving in reality presents different issues for him), so he’s navigating social relationships with a lot less insight than he’s used to. initially he gains an interest in goro due to his minor celebrity status (akira is obviously drawn to popularity due to the public’s influence), and goro is interested in turn for, again, the same reasons in canon: akira is fascinating to speak with and his opinions often surprise goro. despite the fact that he really does seem to be a trend follower, goro notes that he often has very different ideas than most on whatever topic is popular, waxing incredibly philosophical about different viral trends in a way that’s oddly intriguing. and for his part, akira sees a perception in goro that’s rare for humans, an unparalleled acumen and the ability to mold himself to what the public wants in an utterly flawless way in order to achieve his fame while the real goro remains far and away from that persona. they both begin opening up to each other, letting their guards down, and it’s the exact perceptive nature that akira admires in goro that leads him to become suspicious of who akira really is. after all, despite their growing intimacy, goro never even learns where akira lives, let alone goes to see it, and akira has nothing to say of his family, his history, or his personal life. his friends at school know nothing either - ryuji and ann both shrug their shoulders to the questions, saying they’ve never seen akira’s home...although he has mentioned his dad once or twice, mostly about how he has a strict curfew and couldn’t stay out with them. it’s the most goro’s heard too...and he knows it’s not right, but he goes to dig into akira’s school records to find the information scant and impossible, fake addresses and fake names, “akira kurusu” not seeming to exist outside of shujin academy’s files along with the parent listed. neither of them exist...and goro understands the metaverse, having to achieve the fame he has in order to travel to the depths and find the shrine that had been abandoned - akira, obsessed by trends in a way that seems unnatural given the opinions and intelligence he’s demonstrated time and again. he almost wonders if akira himself might be god, but why would he go around inserting himself into humanity so openly? goro spends time debating how to question him without arousing suspicion, but once he receives intel that it’s suspected god has a child, he’s almost certain that’s exactly who akira is and the father he only mentions in passing, the one who’s never been seen or heard from himself, must be the creature goro’s looking for. 

it marks a shift in their relationship, goro hesitating in his mission for such personal, sentimental reasons, but no one else has a clue where to find god or his child, so he does have the luxury of keeping his silence for a time. however, akira notices the shift, sensitive to emotion and intention, and he begins to feel something...wrong about goro, flashes of anger, hatred, disgust directed toward akira...feelings of grief and guilt that come with them and it frightens him, it makes him distance himself from goro despite the pain it causes him. goro almost figures it’s for the best...yet he knows if he makes his move, if he tells the organization he works for that he found him, akira will suffer too, he’ll be ended with his father. so he tells himself he needs to be sure, that akira will only be killed if he truly is god’s child and this isn’t all a mistake that could see his life taken for no reason, so all that’s left to find is where he truly lives and confront whatever’s inside for himself. it’s stupid, it doesn’t make sense, if he does find himself in god’s residence, he’ll only have himself to kill that miserable creature without knowing what it might be capable of. yet...he tracks akira, follows him and finds his home over the course of days as akira often takes multiple and ever changing lines to arrive in his neighborhood, a precaution that makes goro’s heart sink as it only serves to be another nail in this coffin. but once he knows, all it takes is going to the home when akira isn’t present, forcing himself in and quietly, quickly with wide eyes and sweating palms searching each room...but when the upper floors yield nothing, he realizes all that’s left is the basement...and of course that thing would live in the basement, he’s seen the throne it kept in the bowels of that dungeon it called home. yaldabaoth had sensed goro’s presence long before he forces open that door, however, an unwelcome and unknown human filled with such conflicting emotions they induce a headache in the god. and in truth, that irrationality and unpredictability is somehow worse than a human totally intent on killing him - it makes motivations unclear, it makes the ailing god more agitated than he should be, and it’s an emotion not lost on akira, who rarely feels anything but composure from his father. how stupid had he been, he thinks, rushing home as fast as he can, he knew something was wrong with goro, he knew he had said too much and felt that sudden shift of emotion between them but he ignored it, he just tried to run instead of alerting his father to his missteps so that they might have left this city. but...he had hoped to be wrong, that he was reading things wrong as he so often does and besides...his father would be safe, he’s too powerful to fall isn’t he? (but akira knows being in reality has made him sick, he knows his father doesn’t admit to the weakness, he hides it from his child, but existing like this poisoning him)

and what can goro do? the basement is dark, dingy like the endless halls of mementos, but he knows he’s found god long before he actually sees him, feeling sick and repulsed, the sense of wrongness, of trespassing, of walking into see something his entire body rejects to experiencing...it all pales to actually laying eyes on the being they’ve been looking for, however, a poor parody of humanity. its eyes all lock onto him, six of them on its face, an additional four on each hand that it uses to observe him too, its mouths full of sharp teeth, body covered in dizzying geometric patterns that disappear under the vestments of a priest. goro hadn’t known what to expect but the sheer size of it is even overwhelming, just tall enough to fall into an uncanny valley, its skin a true white with shocks of blood that burns an angry red (but it can’t be blood, can it?) and hair that turns to feathers at its tips, something that tried so much to be human but has failed. yet yaldabaoth doesn’t move, he observes goro quietly as he senses the mix of emotion from him, an intent to kill being overridden by something else, at least for now. even as goro draws a weapon, levels it at the deity that refuses to move, he can’t pull the trigger on it, knowing he would lose akira too...but how can he sacrifice his autonomy and everyone else’s to a monster? he tries to speak to it but it doesn’t answer, although he can see that the mouths on either side of its face twitch into different expressions occasionally...and he can’t stand that indifference, that silence, the creature that created them and abandoned them without care...the creature that surely had made him suffer so without a second thought. his mind makes up, motivation and rage clicking into place and only then does yaldabaoth move, a split second before goro’s reflexes can fire on him and it only serves to piss him off more - this thing knows how he feels, it’s reading him and only stayed still until now because it sensed his indecision, his hesitation....his hesitation for his son’s sake. its eyes narrow by fractions and those toothy mouths smile while it seems the other frowns deeper, obviously now understanding the source of goro’s conflicted emotion the moment he thinks of akira. the god finally opens its mouth but just as quickly it seems to think better of it, an action that rattles goro before he hears the basement door slam open again and almost in an instant, in a moment too impossibly fast, his gun is now pointed at akira. his eyes are nothing like they had been before, that composure, the cool sharpness of them replaced by pain, by hatred, by the red sting of tears in betrayal, of righteous anger and animal-like fear for an entire existence threatened, the panic of survival and the hurt of that panic coming from someone you had trusted so much more than any other. goro can’t stand it, he knows what akira thinks now without a single word traded between them...a godhunter that had used him to track his prey, the deity that now grabs akira with all four hands to remove him from the line of fire and the first words goro hears him speak tell his child to run, to find somewhere far from this city, but akira refuses. this is all his fault. he led a hunter here to his father, a father that’s only here as he is now because he won’t leave akira on his own, but when he and goro look at each other once more, akira pushed back and partially hidden, goro’s gun lowering inch by inch, what can they do? one of them should die here, yet in that instant they reach an impossible impasse, neither of them willing to sacrifice the other despite being so opposed to one another. the god is silent, watching goro closely in his unpredictable indecision once more...but goro can’t raise his gun against akira and this monster...the thing all of humanity wants dead now shielding the boy he loves, so where does that leave the hunter? he has to leave, has to run from them and escape that horrifying, suffocating basement, escape his own hesitation and the revelation that he has fallen in love with something that isn’t even human, the spawn of that repulsive god. he can’t sacrifice his own need for revenge, the need to free humanity from an oppressive will, but he can’t sacrifice akira either...and things only get more complicated from there.