#gorftalks

[medlcmania]

My ideal version of Miguel and Gabriel are the funniest fucking thing in the world mostly because my ideal vers of Miguel is literally like 5'6" and Gabriel is like 6'4" and built like a brick shithouse

[medlcmania]

Hey guys idc if u don't like the ships I post. Just saying btw

I'm actually posting to me and me only my audience is not other people

[medlcmania]

Sometimes I get asked "why are you so emotionally constipated as a trans man? Shouldn't you be more open because you used to be a woman?" And while there is SO many things wrong with that statement right there, I'm gonna answer it here and now.

Hi, the guy who runs this account is a transgender homosexual man named Whit.

Along with other trauma aside, and having bad role models for men (early 2010's role models being my father, and my two papas) it's a miracle I'm not more fucked. But nobody really talks about that social transition, like what happened.

And I want to say by the way, THESE THINGS ARE NOT OK. I have unlearned a lot of these by now, but I still have trouble with remembering to smile and the thing about feelings.

Things I learned when I socially transitioned into a man:

You don't smile, smiling is feminine

Make yourself heard, even if it muffles others' voices

You don't laugh at something unless it's dark humored

Nothing pink or remotely cute allowed

No one asks you if you're ok

You're expected to provide for everyone in the house

If you express interest in a woman in front of your male friends you must be vulgar about it

Men don't feel sadness in public, they do not express their feelings with their friends, and they isolate themselves

If you have soft hands, you must be young. If you're not, you must be lazy/privileged

And the thing about it is, that this stuck with me for ages. It grew into my brain like mold seeping from a pipe, it took a lot of personal growth and mental training to unlearn this shit. It left me so emotionally stunted for so long, and I feel like not enough people talk about transmen's mental health.