#google translate can b used hahaha

[gallowsraisedarc]

me: i dont make my characters mary sues

also me: all my muses speak italian , idec if its illogical

[otomiyaa]

I do think the kn8 doujinshi mentions tk actually, you can see Kafka saying “kusuguru” in the first panel of the second page (the only word I know how to spell in japanese lololol)

using the google translator it also seems like kafka basically said “it tickles, please stop” and hosh says “really?” and one of the little words in hosh’s panel says “underarms” so I’m guessing he said he would go for there next? Unfortunately not all the words that aren’t in speech bubbles were recognized by the translator, and I also don’t really speak japanese so can’t really confirm lol

OMFG YOU'RE RIGHT I TOTALLY SKIPPED OVER THAT TEXT HAHAHA

They were totally gonna tickle him yaaaay, I love it

[lost-in-jessiland]

Jeff From Omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. 

You: hey

Stranger: Hi

You: whats up

Stranger: M 19

Stranger: Im fine

Stranger: U ?

You: sweet I'm a woman and I'm 10 years older than you. hows life kid?

Stranger: Eh well im growing up

You: how so?

You: I need life advice

Stranger: Feels like life ahead is gonna be hard

Stranger: From me

Stranger: Okay shoot

Stranger: I will try

You: just like what do you mean by growing up? I feel like i need to grow up

You: but what is growing up lol

Stranger: Im figuring it out lol 😅

Stranger: U tell me

You: okay fine, do you work? lol

Stranger: Nope Student

You: major?

Stranger: Electrical

Stranger: Engineering

You: oh so what do those guys do? lol fix laptops or build rockets?

Stranger: Nah Just build system which keeps flow of electricity

You: like what lol

Stranger: Yupp thats true

Stranger: Its sucks

You: it sounds hard lol

You: i didnt go to college

Stranger: Oh

Stranger: Hey can ask u something

You: yeah always

Stranger: A relationship advice

You: okay hit me

Stranger: Are u married ?

You: no lmao

Stranger: Okay

Stranger: When do i know i found that person

You: when you've seen someone at their worst but still think they are amazing. still think they are beautiful.

You: not like grumpy morning, i mean pressures on, balls to the wall at their worst.

Stranger: Damn Wow thats some very mature stuff there

You: haha well thanks

Stranger: Thanks for enlightening me

Stranger: Lol

You: oh i do my best

You: ill be here all week

You: $.25 enlightenments

You: just need ur social security and moms maiden name and I can enlighten your day!

Stranger: 😂😂😂

Stranger: Ur funny

Stranger: Hey u wanna ask something ?

You: thanks. thats my strong suit

You: and whats that young grasshopper

Stranger: U said before u needed a advice

You: nope I just need advice on life. like omg I am a mess

You: you have no idea little one. stay in school and get a good job. find you a beautiful, loyal hunny and settle down lol

You: parties are bogus

You: lol can you build a time machine?

Stranger: Man feels like u had a hard past

You: absolutely not

You: My life aint tragic, thank you for askin

Stranger: Ohh

You: yeah lmao I a mess is all

Stranger: How so

You: omg lemme tell you what

Stranger: Is it a relationship ?

You: what? no? lol its the wrinkles

You: men don't rule girl world lol

You: if youre a smart girl

Stranger: Ohhhh

You: yeaaaaaaaaa

You: is u a virgin?

Stranger: Ahh

Stranger: Well yup

You: i'm sorry grasshopper, but maybe you do a party

You: get out there and put ur dick in something

You: male female it dont matter just perferrably human

Stranger: Well that's the plan

Stranger: 😂😂

Stranger: Ur funny

You: again thank you

Stranger: When did u lost ur Virginity

You: psshy

You: I was 17

You: blow jobs werent enuf anymore

Stranger: Damn

You: after a year I had to give it up

You: or this slut Robbi was gonna steal him

You: her name is ROBBI thats a boys name who sleeps with a chick named after a dude

You: i bet robbi would sleep with you

Stranger: Hahaha 😂

You: for free too

Stranger: Oh thanks thats a very generous offer there

You: shes like a year younger than i am

You: tho she has had twins

You: but hey find a wall and stick to my friend

Stranger: Where u from

Stranger: Us ?

You: the great united states

You: wby

You: you seem like a canadian

Stranger: Israel

You: omg

You: whyyyy

Stranger: Im original from Europe

You: i thought you were cool

You: ughhh Jeff, can I call you Jeff?....Jeff this sucks

You: why Jeff why?

Stranger: 😂😂

Stranger: Yeah go for it

You: Listen Jefffffff

You: dont hack my computer okay

You: I have lots of sick porn you dont wanna see

You: and some pretty awesome cat pics too

You: my cats are awesome'

You: Jeff you would love them

Stranger: I love cats

You: Captain Kush and New Jack are their names

You: they are the best things ever

Stranger: Wow

You: but if you get close they will claw you

You: cause they only like americans

Stranger: Cats are the most cuttest and adorable animal on this planet

You: they are racist cats

You: :/

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: Yeah is that so

You: oh yess

You: if you wear your head cover, they will make sure to rip it to shreds'

You: they wanna see your forhead

You: they get sus when they cant see ur forehead

Stranger: I can imagine that

You: yeah

Stranger: Lol

You: do you like foreheads

You: jeff do u like forheads

Stranger: Yup

Stranger: Its a kink or something lol

You: foreheads are your kink

You: jeff are you lying to me

You: jeff dont lie to me

You: we have a history jeff

You: listen jeff

Stranger: Sup

You: dont lie about kinks

You: those are serious stuff

Stranger: Whats ur ?

You: huh?

Stranger: Im kidding

Stranger: U don't have to answer

You: you didnt ask me anything Jeff

You: Try google translate that shit is legit

Stranger: Ok

You: whats ur ? Jefffffah

You: ?????????????

Stranger: Hmmm

Stranger: Idk

You: whatever Jeff

You: You can Call me other Jeff

You: okay

You: Jeff?

Stranger: Hey other jeff

You: thats my kink

Stranger: Wtf 😂

Stranger: Wow

You: what is other Jeff wearing

You: ;)

Stranger: U asking me ?

You: yeah what am I (other Jeff) wearing when you picture other Jeff?

Stranger: Wait a min

Stranger: Its confusing

You: okay anyting for Jeff

Stranger: Im jeff

Stranger: Lets call u Larry

You: yes and I am other Jeff

You: no

You: thats not sexy

You: I AM OTHER JEFF

Stranger: Okay fine

Stranger: Haha

You: ;)

You: yessss

You: that makes other Jeff happy

You: and horny

You: happy horny other Jeff

Stranger: U horny ?

You: other Jeff is so horny for Jeff

You: thinking about sweating forheads while Jeff thinks of what to say next makes me wanna wipe it off with my hand and make Jeff lick it off of other Jeff's hand.

You: then you can lick the sweat off of other Jeff's forehead

Stranger: Man that's Gross

You: you

You: said

Stranger: Really

You: forheads

You: were your

You: kink

Stranger: Nah

You: other Jeff was trying to be sexy for Jeff

You: the fuck

Stranger: Thast gross 😂

You: DON'T make me GET THE SLUT PADDLE

Stranger: Okay

You: so lick the forehead sweat Jeff

You: or other Jeff will spank you

Stranger: That sounds gross

You: okay fine what syour real kink then

You: JEFF

You: dont lie this time

You: fucker

You: other Jeff can be real sexy

Stranger: Hey can i ask u something?

You: anything Jeff

You: u know that

Stranger: Hey can i ask u something ?

You: omg yes

Stranger: Its kinda sexual

You: yes Jeff

You: JEFF

You: YES GIVE ME THAT QUESTION YES

You: JEFFFF

Stranger: How does a pussy taste like

Stranger: The fluid

You: BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

You: hahahaha

You: AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

You: hahahhahahhahahah

You: hahahhahah

You: og

You: DEAR LORD JESUS HELP JEFF

help him see the light

Stranger: Yeah pls

You: you are the worst man I have ever met

Stranger: My pleasure

You: bow to God and beg that he forgives you JEff

You: Jeff

Stranger: Will do

You: may I ask a question?

Stranger: Shoot

You: what do you think pussy juice tastes like Jeff?

Stranger: I dk

You: guess stupid

Stranger: Sweet sour ish ?

You: okay then it tastes sweet sourish Jeff, Hope you like those Sour Patch Kids 

cuz thats what ur in for Jeff

You: you honestly got boring so fast Jefff like ugh . why? you suck at being a towel head.

You: islamijeff

You: orwhereeveryousaidurfrom

Stranger: Im not

You: likeugh

You: ihateyoujeff

You: istgihateyou

You: omg

Stranger: Bye then

You: i love you

You: dont leave me

Stranger: Me too

You: you love me JEFF

You: wil you move to america and be with me JEff

Stranger: Nah im bored . Thanks for talking .

You: go to the airport and say my name is Jeff

other Jeff has paid my ticket to Merica.

Stranger: Bye byee

You: b

Stranger has disconnected.

[jasperunbound]

“My First Friend”

A translation of the DQXI:S voice drama track featuring Hendrik and Jasper when they were young kids.

Courtesy of @kamyuris / @suba_rashii on Twitter, who gave me permission to repost the translation here! Consider checking out her Dragon Quest and Dragon Ball Z fanart, and dropping her a thanks for taking the time to provide this English transcript. Read below, or here on Google Docs. (Note that the version below is slightly different, I made some corrections for typos and other minor grammar adjustments.)

---------------------------------------------

One winter morning, two young apprentices walk out of the snow-covered Heliodor Castle. They head down to the warm abode of an ever-waiting mother. The two lonely boys, Hendrik and Jasper… what awaits them at the end of their secret little adventure?

  －My First Friend－

  Hendrik: Father! Please, open the door! I’m scared!

Father: ...Hendrik. Do not open the door until dawn breaks. As a knight's child, you know not to go against your superior. Now, think of me as such.

Hendrik: Why… why!? What about mother? Sisters… where?

Father: Hendrik! There is no time! Listen to me!

Hendrik: [sniffling] ...Yes.

  Father: Hendrik… my son. Whatever happens after this, do not despair. Whatever happens tonight is inevitable. Never forget, your father fought for a bright future for you. Hendrik, you must survive!

Hendrik: Father… please wait! Father… Father!

  Hendrik: FATHER!

Apprentice A: Shut up, Hendrik!

Hendrik: S-sorry! That… dream again…

  "...Just like today, it rained heavily that night. The kingdom of Zwaardsrust had been destroyed by a horde of monsters overnight. My father had hid me in the basement of the church, and I was later found by the King of Heliodor when they came to inspect. I… was the only one who survived within my family. Then, I was taken in as a knight apprentice at Heliodor Castle.

...It has been a while since that nightmare, but I‘d grown afraid of the night’s fall up till this day. I still remember that dark, wet basement, and then the fires when I left that basement…"

  Hendrik: The child of a knight should not be crying at a time like this…!

(If I cry again, they will hate me more. Especially that mean one…)

Jasper: Again and again, night after night… you are so noisy that we cannot sleep! You are a survivor of that Zwaardsrust thing, right? If you’re really the son of a Drustinian knight, then surely everyone from there is a crybaby like you!

  "Jasper… he is a blonde-haired apprentice knight. I couldn’t sleep ever since arriving at the castle, and he said such mean words to me. I am fine with insults directed at me. But I could never tolerate insults about Zwaardsrust…"

  "And then…"

  Hendrik: ...Take it back… take it back right now!

Jasper: What are you－

Hendrik: Take it back!

Commander: You two! Stop it right now!

  "Since then, every time I saw Jasper's face, I would end up fighting with him. Someone who doesn’t care for others would not make a good knight… But I do wonder if a day would come where I would patch things up with Jasper…"

  Commander: Jasper, Hendrik. Are you two ready?

...Begin!!

Jasper: Hmph.

Hendrik: Tch…!

Jasper: Hah!

Hendrik: Agh!

Commander: Match! The winner is Jasper!

Hendrik: Darn it! 49 wins, 49 losses…

Jasper: ...Wrong. This is my 50th win. Do you not know how to count right?

Hendrik: Tch…

Jasper: Hm…

Hendrik: Someday… someday I will defeat you, Jasper!

Commander! Please, instruct me!

  Commander: That'll mark the end of training this morning! We will now move on to the cleaning of the area! As usual, the top apprentice will be exempted from cleaning! Today's Number One… Jasper!

Apprentices: Oooh...!!

Apprentice A: He's been in first place for ten days in a row now…

Apprentice B: He is a prodigy, after all…

Commander: Enough talking, get to cleaning now!

Apprentices: Yes, Sir!

  Hendrik: Phew!

Apprentice A: That Jasper guy, I don't like him at all! He doesn't even work that hard, and he came in after us! We had the skills and education for it!

Apprentice B: Yeah, cannot help but feel like he makes us look like complete fools.

Apprentice A: Prodigies who step foot into this castle get all the luck, huh!

Apprentice B: ...Well, I heard something interesting the other day. A rumour about him.

Apprentice A: What is it? 

Apprentice B: I heard it from one of the King's maids, but Jasper came to the castle… because he was abandoned by his parents.

Apprentice A: Abandoned!?

Apprentice B: Shh! Don't yell!

  Apprentice A: ...Really?

Apprentice B: Yeah. Rumour has it that he came from a noble home, but they couldn't hold up. He doesn't have a dad. So his mother left him alone here in the castle.

Apprentice A: Aw… that's so saaad.

  Hendrik: Hey!

Apprentice A: ...Huh? What do you want?

Hendrik: Spreading bad rumours about others is unbefitting of a knight!

...Right?

Apprentice A: Aw, here comes the good boy Hendrik.

Apprentice B: Ooh, the Drustinian knight's son is so serious!

A and B: Hahaha!

Hendrik: Jasper is－ ...he is not a good guy, but you should not be saying things behind his back!

Apprentice A: ...Hey, Hendrik, who do you think you're talking to?

Apprentice B: You want to scrap with us?

Hendrik: Y-yeah! Both of you, come!

  "That's enough, Hendrik!"

  Apprentice A: J-Jasper…

Jasper: You guys did good today. Say… did you see my book anywhere?

Apprentice B: Book… Ah, I saw it on top of the bench…

Jasper: Oh, you are right. Thank you.

  Jasper: I will study even harder… And then I will－

Hendrik: Jasper!

Jasper: Do not follow me!

Hendrik: Wait!

Apprentice A: Oi, Hendrik! We're not done talking to you!

Hendrik: Don’t get in my way!

[SPLASH!]

Apprentice A: Agh, so cold!

Apprentice B: What do you think you are doing!?

Hendrik: Take this water and reflect on it!

  Hendrik: Jasper! Wait, Jasper!

Jasper: What do you want?

Hendrik: I… That, earlier…

Jasper: ...It doesn’t concern you.

Hendrik: But－...

Jasper: [sighing] Look at this.

Hendrik: …A letter?

Jasper: ...From my mother. She said that she’s sick, so she cannot take me back home yet.

Hendrik: Jasper, I…

Jasper: My mother－! My mother promised me that she will come pick me up once she’s all better and I became a good knight!

...She has not abandoned me!!

Hendrik: …Sorry.

Jasper: Give it back to me. I'm going.

  "That was the first day Jasper and I did not quarrel."

  "After that, he kept trying to avoid me. He would not look me in the eye and we didn’t talk, and a year passed without noticing… Then came what I thought would be a long winter break."

  Knight A: The year is finally over.

Knight B: Ah, we can go home after all this while…

Knight A: Be careful on your way back, there's a lot of snow this year.

Knight B: Yeah, you too.

Minister: Hear ye, hear ye! Now commences the King's Speech!

Carnelian: My subjects, you have gathered well today. This year, due to everyone's diligence, the prosperity and peace of Heliodorians stand ever stronger! Though it is a short vacation, please, return to your homes and get your much deserved rest. We will see you again once the new year starts!

Knights: Long Live the King! Long Live the King!

  Commander: Jasper, Hendrik. You two are the only remaining apprentices in the castle now. What you want to do is up to you… Don’t be fighting over everything now.

Hendrik: Yes. Have a great new year ahead.

[Silence between the boys.]

Hendrik: A-ah! Look, Jasper! There is so much snow! It is rare for it to be snowing this much in Heliodor, right?

Jasper: Yeah.

[More silence.]

Hendrik: Everyone is going home, isn't that nice?

Jasper: …

Hendrik:  ...Jasper, are you not going home?

Jasper: ...My mother's sickness got worse. I cannot go home and touch her or I'll get it too… that is what the King…

Hendrik: I see…

  Hendrik: ...Say, Jasper. Don't you want to get out of here and see your mother?

Jasper: What are you saying? Didn’t I just say that the King said I cannot?

Hendrik: You are so stubborn! If we leave and come back before dinner, we will be alright.

Jasper: But… the King said…

Hendrik: Yeah, the King's always right! Just as expected, the King! Wonderful! But… I think if she's really sick, you should see her. Maybe she will feel better when she sees her son's face after so long.

Jasper: But－

Hendrik: Jasper, do you want to see your mother or not!?

Jasper: ...I do.

Hendrik: Alright! That’s the way to go! Come on!

  Hendrik: Wow! It’s been so long since we went into town! Jasper, do you know how to make snowballs?

Jasper: When we told the gatekeeper we wanted to go outside to see the King, he immediately let us through… is the castle's security that thin? Is the castle going to be alright?

Hendrik: Hey, hey, do not say things like that! Everyone is looking forward to the new year, I don’t think anyone is going to do bad things!

Jasper: But we are doing something bad, aren’t we?

Hendrik: Ah, yeah! Haha, you're right!

Jasper: [sigh] ...Is it really a good idea to listen to this guy and disobey the King?

Hendrik: Huh? Did you say something?

Jasper: Nothing.

Hendrik: We have to go through the shopping district to get to your house, right?

Jasper: Uh huh.

Hendrik: Then, which way do we go? Left? Right? Hey, Jasper… Jasper? Hey!

  Hendrik: Jasper? What happened? You walked off suddenly.

Jasper: This shop…

Hendrik: The general shop? Did something catch your eye?

Jasper: I saw that brooch… the one that looks like a flower.

Hendrik: Which one?

  Hendrik: ...Woah! That is really pretty! The glass is shining all kinds of colours…

Jasper: I want to give it to my mother…

Hendrik: Oh! That is a great idea, Jasper!

Jasper: ...But I cannot.

Hendrik: Huh? Why?

Jasper: Do you have money?

Hendrik: I don't.

Jasper: Me neither.

[Silence.]

Hendrik: W-well, Jasper, it is too early to give up now! My father said that you cannot buy someone's feelings with money! So we should get a sincere gift from your heart for your mother!

Jasper: ...Really?

Hendrik: Yeah! My father would never lie!

  Jasper: ...But what should I get her?

Hendrik: Hmm… What do you think would make your mother really happy?

Jasper: ...She likes flowers. She used to grow a lot of flowers in the garden.

Hendrik: ...Flowers, huh?

Jasper: But it’s snowing now, so that is going to be hard…

Hendrik: Wait… ice! That’s it! Ice!

Jasper: Ice? What is this all of a sudden?

Hendrik: We could get some ice as a gift! But not just any ice… Ice with flower petals in it!

Jasper: Ice with… petals?

  Hendrik: Yeah! One time my older sister had a cold, so I went to pick a flower for her so she would get well quickly. But all the flowers were wilted since it was cold like today, so I took some of the ice petals that I found in town.

Jasper: Did she like it?

Hendrik: She loved it! It was like a jewel. We got really sad when it started melting, so I promised her... that I will find another next winter…

Jasper: ...Hendrik.

Hendrik: I promised…

Jasper: What happened to her…?

  Hendrik: ...When Zwaardsrust was attacked that night, my whole family died.

Jasper: ...I didn’t know that.

Hendrik: ...That is alright. Even until now I think and cry about wanting to see my family and be with them… every day. But my father told me to live, and I was saved. So I have to live. If I am here, someday I will be needed by someone.

Jasper: ...I wonder if that will happen to me too. If someone needs me…

Hendrik: Hahaha! What are you saying? Now is that time! Your mother is waiting for you to come home!

Jasper: ...You are right.

  Hendrik: Yeah! That is right!

Jasper: ...Hendrik, will you help me look for these ice petals?

Hendrik: Of course I will! Why don't you tell me where ice tends to form here! I am not too familiar with this place.

Jasper: Okay! We’re going to find it before the sun sets!

Hendrik: Yeah!

  Hendrik: Jasper! Did you find anything?

Jasper: No… I haven’t.

  "Jasper and I ran around the central town trying to look for these ice petals. The town was much bigger and more maze-like than I thought."

  Hendrik: Let’s search around this pond!

Jasper: Hendrik, be careful!

Hendrik: Waah!

[Splash!]

Hendrik: So cold!

Jasper: You idiot! Watch where you're going－ ah!

[Splash!]

  "Time passed, and before I knew, the sun was starting to set. It was starting to get colder, and snow began to fall."

  Jasper: This is bad… it’s snowing.

Hendrik: Not yet… we cannot give up yet! If we look really hard, we’ll find it for sure!

Jasper: The fountain… let’s look for it at the fountain in the middle of town.

  "We kept going and never gave up. Then…"

  Hendrik: Ah! Jasper! Jasper, look!

Jasper: Did you find it!?

Hendrik: Over there, look!

Jasper: Where!?

  Hendrik & Jasper: WE FOUND IT!

Jasper: We did it! We did it!

Hendrik: Jasper, this is great!

Jasper: Wow, it is even prettier than the brooch!

Hendrik: Yeah! This will make the perfect gift!

Hendrik & Jasper: WE DID IT! Hahahaha!!

  Jasper: Ah… ahem! Ice is a weird gift, but this is not so bad.

Hendrik: Wow… you're really lying to yourself.

Jasper: Sh-shut up! A knight should not be laughing so loud and should be dignified at all times.

Hendrik: Saying such a thing while we're soaking wet does not make you look cool! Ahahaha!

Jasper: ...Hendrik.

Hendrik: I’m kidding! Don’t give me that face.

Jasper: No, it isn’t that… I have always been mean to you. That time when you stood up against those guys who were saying bad things about me… thank you. And I’m really sorry about what I said about Drustinians being crybabies…

  Hendrik: Hey, enough about that… we’re friends now, are we not?

Jasper: ...Friends?

Hendrik: ...Aren’t we?

Jasper: …

Hendrik: Did… did I do something wrong?

Jasper: ...Yeah. We are friends.

Hendrik: Hahaha! Yeah! Friends! We're friends!

Jasper: Sh-shut up, you’re so loud! Saying things like that, so embarrassing!

Hendrik: Ahaha!

Jasper: ...Heh.

Hendrik & Jasper: Hahahaha!

  Hendrik: Phew… Now then! Since we found the ice, let us go to your mother's place! We’ll get there before the day ends if we make a move now!

Jasper: ...Mm.

Hendrik: ...What is wrong? We're getting there soon.

Jasper: I feel like there is something off all of a sudden. Would she really like it....?

Hendrik: Hmph!

[Hendrik hits Jasper.]

Jasper: Ow!! Why did you do that!?

Hendrik: We’ve gotten all the way here, do not say things like that! Do not worry! Let us hurry before the ice melts, Jasper!

Jasper : ...Yeah! You’re right.

  Hendrik: Jasper, are we there yet?

Jasper: As soon as we get out of this street. Keep walking.

Hendrik: Yeah, yeah… by the way, I do not really feel that cold anymore. Haha! Jasper, there’s snow on your head.

Jasper: Be a little more patient, will you? We have warm dumplings and the maids always give me a blanket. I think she’d be upset that I snuck out of the castle… but if I ask my mother, she will always make me warm cocoa. Drinking it always warms you up.

Hendrik: Really!? Wow, I can barely wait now! Hurry, Jasper!

Jasper: Hey! Don't run down the street!

Hendrik: It’s right around the corner, isn't it? Whoever reaches first wins!

Jasper: You fool! I will be the first one to see my mother, of course! That’s right, if you go through this corner, then here’s my－...

  Jasper: ...Huh?

  Hendrik: ...Jasper, is this your home…? There is… nothing here.

Jasper: ...That is impossible.

Hendrik: Ah… ah, that’s right, you have not been home in a while! Maybe you got the wrong home.

Jasper: ...Yeah, that might be it. But… my house…

Old Man: Hey, you two. What are you doing here?

Jasper: Ah…

Old Man: ...Are you picking something up from here?

Jasper: N-no, I… I am returning home.

Old Man: I see…

  Old Man: If that's the case, you should go quick. The noblewoman who lived here died of an illness.

Hendrik: ...Died?

Old Man: Yes… It happened a few years ago. Her maid and doctor were afraid of her illness, and no one was left to take care of her. She soon died alone, calling the name of her son who had been living away from her at the castle. What a sad story…

  [Footsteps－the boys walking back to the castle.]

  Hendrik: [sobbing]

Jasper: ...Why are you crying? This has nothing to do with you.

Hendrik: [sob] Because… because you’re not crying.

Jasper: ...Huh?

Hendrik: That is the saddest thing I have heard… and you are not crying, so… I cry.

Jasper: ...Why?

Hendrik: Because… we’re friends.

Jasper: What…? Stop saying such silly things－

  Jasper: Ugh… [wailing]

  Jasper: Mother… MOTHER!

  "Jasper and I cried as we made our way back to the castle. It fell quiet as the snow absorbed our wails. I did not know how long it took us to get back, but we were tired from crying, and our voices were hoarse. It was night time when we reached the castle. In front of the large gate, there was a torch that gradually grew bigger as it approached us… it was the King who was there to bring us back in…."

  Carnelian: Hendrik… Jasper…

Hendrik: ...Your Majesty.

Jasper: Please… forgive us.

Hendrik: Sorry.

Carnelian: Let me see your faces… I believe I must apologise to the both of you. Did you go and see your mother, Jasper?

Jasper: ...Yes.

Carnelian: …When I took you into the castle, your mother told me. She did not have much longer to live. She did not want her death to be a distraction to you. You were about to be all alone in this world, because she had to go.

Jasper: ...Yes.

Carnelian: She told me that until you grew up into a knight, her death must be kept secret from you.

Jasper: Mother…

Carnelian: ...I must apologise, Jasper. It must have hurt you just as it pains me to do so.

Jasper: … [sob]

Carnelian: And you, Hendrik… you really did your best for your friend, didn't you?

  "The King hugged us both and stayed until we stopped crying. The warm feeling felt like when my father took me into his arms, just like I remember it to be."

  "Jasper was called by the King into another room to talk about whether he would want to stay in the castle, or go live with a distant relative. I went back to the apprentices' dorm, and went to lay down. Even though I was exhausted, I could not sleep as it was too dark, and the moon did not shine."

  Hendrik: That dream again…

  "Hey, Hendrik… are you awake?"

  Hendrik: Jasper… is everything okay?

Jasper: Hmph. Nothing to worry about.

Hendrik: ...Have you made your decision?

Jasper: ...I don’t have a place to return home to anymore. Neither do you. So I will fulfill my mother's wishes and become a knight for this country.

Hendrik: ...I see.

Jasper: ...Hm. I see that you are all wrapped up like a dumpling again. Could it be that it is too dark again and you cannot sleep?

Hendrik: How noisy… leave me alone.

Jasper: If you cannot sleep at night, you are going to be all groggy and vulnerable in the morning… so…

Hendrik: ...So?

Jasper: Let’s read a book together.

Hendrik: Huh?

  Jasper: ...Do not think that I'm doing it voluntarily, I am not! I do not want to do this! The King made me do it, so here I am! Move!

Hendrik: ...The King, huh?

Jasper: Y-yeah! The King!

Hendrik: Heh… Hahaha!

Jasper: Wh-what? You're weird.

Hendrik: Jasper… thanks.

Jasper: Hmph! If you don't sleep, I am going to ignore the King, so sleep!

Hendrik: Haha! You are right. Looks like… I will finally be able to sleep well tonight.

  Hendrik: So what are we going to read?

Jasper: "The Hero of Heliodor".

Hendrik: Huuuh? But that is so boring! Do you not have anything more fun? I don’t like hero stories.

Jasper: So you want something more kiddy? You are really childish, you know?

Hendrik: What did you say!?

[Both laugh.]

  －End.－

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

[mymemoirs]

Unrecorded Memories and Missing Taiwan #8

This is gonna be my last post for this series because I am left with only one week worth of story. Yes, my 2018 summer exchange story is coming to an end. I'm so glad it's going to be over because there's so many things I want to write in my next post.

32) Monday came and each groups presented their presentation in front of the class. My groupmates and I presented our presentation. It went smoothly and there were no real pressure compared to my AI presentation. Unlike the AI presentation, there was no grading for our presentation and thus no recognition of who's the best presenter in our class. Well, I think this way we can just be neutral and enjoy everyone's presentation. Although, to be honest, I can't remembered any of the presentations during this class compared to the AI class.

Okay, this is really out of context, but I have to admit that the Indian students I met are confident and good presenter. One presenter in particular presented like Steve Jobs. His talk is inspiring and full of hope (well, his expressions especially) even though he's just explaining about an AI that creates lyrics for music.

Now, back to topic *laughs*. So, after everyone in the class finished their presentation, I think we were dismissed quite early. I don't really remember what I did that day. The only clue I have of that day is a photo of the 7-Eleven near the campus. I think knowing well that I will miss that place, I just took a photo of it for my memorabilia. Well, sure enough, I do missed that convenience store. They have everything! I always bought my breakfast there. Sometimes I even have my lunch or dinner there. It's such a memorable place. I really love how the convenience store really depicts 'convenient' very well. It's very different from the convenience store in my country. Oh, and I think it's open for 24 hours. Like, seriously, this is too convenient!

7-Eleven store besides Asia University Campus. Look at that infinite supply of foods with chairs and tables. I just love so many selections of foods to choose, I really miss Taiwan's 7-Eleven.

33) On Tuesday, our professor suddenly told us that we were going to have a campus tour. So, off we go around the campus with our professor as the tour guide. It's not like we don't explore the campus but after the tour, I realize how big the campus is and how little exploration I did. There were so many places, BEAUTIFUL places around the campus. But the only thing I did whenever I finished classes was to go back to my room and rest. I don't really explored much except when I get lost. I also didn't visit other friends in different dorm buildings which is located quite far from my own. Now, that I think back, it's really too bad that I don't do much exploring but that's also one of the reason why I would still want to go back to Taiwan if I had the chance. I'm only in Taichung before and there were a lot of cities in Taiwan I haven't explored yet. I'll love another chance to explore the country.

The first half of our class (before lunch) was spent on touring the campus. After that, on the second half of our class, we went to an art museum in Asia University. I think our professor was out of ideas on where to take us and since most of us never visited the art museum that was actually located in the campus. He suggested that and we all went along, although, we must pay for our own entrance fee to enter the museum. However, I think it was discounted. I vaguely remembered paying 100 NTD for that.

The museum itself is called "Asia Museum of Modern Art" located in Asia University's premises. I actually had to pass through the museum every time I went back to my dorm. It have this amazing architecture that's also one of its selling point in my opinion. The architect of the building is a Japanese man named Tadao Ando. I just have to go gaga on him after searching more about him and his works. What a talented man he is! It even shows in the museum I went.

He's a King of Concrete because his works mostly uses concretes and the museum I went was made of concrete. It was also not painted and that's really interesting to see a building not painted but still exudes such a classy and modern look. There's also one spot in the museum that's very popular. Since the building is triangle, the corner of it have this eye fish effect if we took a picture from that corner. Just take a look at this picture below!

In one of the corners in Asia Museum of Modern Art.

As you can see, being in the corner allows people to see both sides of the wall, making an effect of using a wide lens or fish eye lens. I saw Tadao Ando's other work too in the internet and I am officially a fan of his work now. He really have piqued my interest in the world of design. I'm in love. *laughs*

Since it was an art museum, there were a lot of art works ranging from pottery, paintings to very abstract object. According to the guide, the museum have different arts displayed there depending on the exhibitions. I don't really remember what exhibition or what theme I am seeing when I went there but I was mostly focused on the architecture of the buildings. Walking around and seeing people taking pictures. I don't really take pictures which is kind of a bummer but I don't think I feel comfortable asking people to take a picture of me. Most of my pictures are taken in a group or by my classmate's initiative.

I took a picture of this because of the meaning behind the words which is very simple but deep. You read it downwards and from right to left, it would be translated as: "In Beauty, there are great pain and ecstasy"

34) After our trip to the museum, we can go back to our dorm. That Tuesday was actually the last night for my roommates since their classes had finished. So, we decided to eat outside and find a cafe where we can chill near the campus. The campus is actually very convenient since there's a lot of shops near it. I actually enjoyed eating around there to be honest. Ah, now I really miss my student's life. Hahaha.

When we went to the cafe, we ordered waffles and shared it among the four of us. While we were eating, the cafe owner suddenly approached us and offered another serving of waffles for free. That is actually quite surprising for us but we received it with delight. Who wouldn't like a freebies right? However, I had a feeling the reason we got that free waffle was because my roommates were attractive. Or maybe it's just because we were new customers and he wanted to gain repeating customers. Which is me *laughs* cause I brought another friends to that cafe again but we weren't lucky to receive a free waffle again. Oh yeah, the name of the cafe is 唯享时刻 (Enjoy Moments) which have a very cute exterior. I think that's the reason why the four of us is interested to try out that cafe.

Anyway, while being on the topic "being treated/ getting freebies" cause you're attractive, it's only when I went to Taiwan that I do saw this kind of thing. I mean back in my country, it's really rare to see my friends being treated or offered by strangers 'cause we're really scared if that actually happens. Heck, I even saw it twice happening with my roommates since one of my roommates were especially attractive. Aside from the cafe, there's this one time when we went to a minimart to buy our breakfast for tomorrow. The cashier actually didn't charge one of my roommate for something she brought it was as if he was treating her. It was actually amusing for me to witness that, their conversation goes like this:

Cashier: *scans barcode of the stuff, leave out an item and then says the price*

Roommate: Um, you forgot to scan the banana.

Cashier: Oh, no, it's alright. It's for you.

Roommate: Um, okay... *while giving the money* Thank you.

This is not really the exact conversation since I forgot if the cashier even said anything at all about giving it to her. I am not beside or behind her when this happened and I remembered the cashier being meek but he was definitely attracted to my friend. Because after going out of the minimart, the rest of my roommates who also went to the same class with her, tease her and said that this is not the first time the cashier treated her. And I think that's also part of the reason why they chose to shop at that minimart.

Last picture together before my roommates leave Asia University.

Anyway, back to to the cafe moment, I was really sad that we had to part ways tomorrow. Iris and Karen were going to stay in Taiwan for a while but they will go to a different cities tomorrow. Vincy, on the other hand, will be going back to Hong Kong. I can't remember every conversation we had, but I do miss them from time to time. I don't know if they feel that way towards me because our meeting is really such a short period of time and I actually rely on them as my roommates. We still had the WhatsApp group chats but it's always me who initiate the conversation in the group but even if we're not close, they really leave behind such a deep impression on me. I do hope I can meet them again.

35) The next day, on Wednesday, we have our class as usual. Our professor invited other lecturer to teach us about Fintech that day. There weren't much to mentioned for this day except that my roommates all went to their respective destination and we parted ways. I did have the chance to eat my lunch with Vincy before I sent her off in front of the campus. Aaaah, now I really miss them and the moments I had with them but life must go on and that's the thing about making friends across countries. You need to go back to where you belong.

On Thursday, the professor told us that we're going to have a farewell party and ask us to gather in a cafe near the museum. The cafe was actually managed by an alumni of the university and I think that's the reason why our professor wanted us to go there. Although, I don't know if the cafe still exists since it doesn't show up in google maps. With the pandemic that's happening, I felt it cause businesses to go bankrupt but at the same time new kind of businesses went viral during the pandemic.

During our farewell, everyone is having a light snacks and coffee, conversations, picture taking, etc. I don't quite remembered how the event unfolds in the Entrepreneurship and Creativity class farewell compared to the AI class farewell. I think the professors only gave some short speech and we also watch some videos before we received our certificates. The owner of the cafe also gave her speech about the cafe which really fits our class.

Receiving the certificate of completion from the professor.

After the farewell party, everyone is free to go. I usually hang out with my Thai friends when I'm on this class but instead of going out with them, I went out with my classmates who came from the same university as I am. It's funny that I only get close with them on the last day. I think they've told me that they felt I was not really approachable especially since I always hang out with my Thai classmates. I don't really deny that because I personally felt the time is so short to be friends with everyone and I'm the type to focus on one group of friends rather than getting along with everyone which I think is impossible for introverted me.

It's a good thing that I do get along with them eventually. I am also grateful that they invited me to go out with them 'cause I don't think I'll go anywhere that day if they didn't invite me. Although, initially I think they just invited me to get a picture together in front of the campus as the representative of our university. After that, they find me approachable enough to ask if I had any plans and would like to join them. Since I love travelling and am not the type to plan most of my days, I gladly accept their offer.

So, off we go to their dorm since they had to take care of some stuff (like preparing to go out, do a little packing, pray, etc). Since, I'm ready to go out and have done most of my packing, I don't mind going along with them to their dorm. It's also the first time I visited other dorm buildings aside from my own. Their dorm rooms are actually quite different compared to mine. They had inner toilet in their rooms while in my dorm the toilet is outside of our rooms. While I am there watching them, one of the classmates actually offered to do some makeup on my face and I let her do it. Although, I don't really have a picture of it unfortunately.

Me and my classmates from Airlangga University

After that, we went downtown to get our lunch since the food in the cafe is just light snacks. It was quite late when we grabbed our food, I think around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. We went to subways since they're craving for it and I also think it's halal for them. I actually enjoyed talking with them, they're funny and expressive. However, in terms of a travel buddy, I don't think I can get along with them because they only visited shops and more shops to buy the stuff people ask them to. Of course, they charge for it which is very business minded of them but I can see they're struggling with their baggage too.

We were outside for the whole day. Since, I had no makeup remover, I had to follow them to their room to use it. Afterwards, I left their dorm because I had prior plans with two of my Thai classmates (Phoom and Benz) to eat together since this is our last night in Taiwan. I remembered only eating with both of them even though there are other Thai classmates who didn't joined us that night.

While walking to our meeting point, I actually thought how beautiful the night view is around the campus. There were couple of places I went during daylight but it looks so different and beautiful with the lights. The moon was very bright that night too. Tbh, those kind of moments actually reignite my desire to travel again and even during that time I already missed Taiwan. I'm sure people who travel or on a holiday have those kind of moments where they miss holidays even before it ends.

Now, back to our dinner. We ate our dinner in a beef noodle shop near the campus which is actually very popular because it's close to the university and it also tastes quite good. Although, I don't think we can eat that everyday because it's quite costly compared to other available options (around 100 NTD). But when's the perfect time to eat a bit costly dinner than the last day, right? I personally enjoy talking to both of them even though they are much older than me since I knew they were a master's student around their 30s. After eating, we went to a minimart where they bought beers and then we walked back to our respective dorms since my dorm buildings aren't the same with them.

36) Friday, my last day in Taiwan! Everyone who's going back that day went to the meeting point in front of the campus where we will board on a bus that's heading to the airport. We say our goodbyes to the remaining friends who's going to stay, taking pictures together and just spent some time chatting before the bus arrived. Most of my classmates are going back directly to their countries but I was heading to Singapore instead because I have relatives living there.

The moon is so tiny but trust me, it really caught my eyes. Seeing it with your own eyes does feels different.

We all went home that day. It was really a memorable month for me and I am grateful that I get to experience all of this. I have always wanted a student exchange experience while still balancing my college life and this opportunity came through. Having this summer exchange on 2018 was one of the best highlights I had during college. While on the plane back home, I sat near besides the window and I was able to see a full moon shining brightly and beautifully. Although my phone didn't do much justice to the grandeur I saw, I really wanted to share with everyone the picture of it to end this series.

- Reina

PS. Thank you for reading this series, if anyone ever read it. I really appreciate it. Even though there are certain events or timelines that I'm not completely sure of, I find writing and sharing about the memories I had in Taiwan as a fond thing to do because it's really a memorable one that I just had to write about it. I also find this process - digging up past memories - to be a good exercise for my brain.

[best-enemies]

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Mission Report (Bucky Barnes)

Characters: Bucky Barnes x You

Summary: The Winter Soldier has trespassed inside your apartment before and he had no other choice but to do it again because you are his mission.

Warnings: Mention of blood? Choking? Murder? Not your usual save the fragile princess kind of thing? Typos or wrong grammars. The Russian words are probably not right because I used Google translate and it's the only thing I could use. Hahaha. 😅 

Words: 2,152

A/N: BUCKY BARNES FOR Y’ALL! Or should I say, The Winter Soldier, aye? Heehee! Tell me what ya’ think about this! Heehee!

Disclaimer: GIF and pictures used are not mine, only the edits are and the whole one shot of course. Plagiarism is a crime.

"Mission report, November 1, 2000."

Bucky just stared at the hydra soldier holding a red book in front of him. A stern smile accenting his face that screams The Winter soldier's nightmares every night, It was malignant and soulless. He was just a human walking on earth with no soul.

Just like him, the difference was his soul was lost wandering. Waiting for it to come back to a body who had a big, youthful heart back in the 1940's.

"Ready to comply, Soldat?"

Bucky grunted as a reply, his chapped, bloody lips in a straight thin line. Something sparked his dead heart inside from the moment he had heard the date of his mission. He shook that spark of light igniting inside of him, his brainwashed mind has set his decision straight and had no other plans than to follow their orders and kill.

He tightened his fist as he sat on the electric chair where he was wiped, sweat washed the sins stuck on his shirtless, scarful body. Ready to gain another mistake or sin that he had no other choice than to follow.

"готовы соблюдать," (Ready to comply,) The Winter Soldier spoke very low, his voice raspy and deep from not talking a lot. The hydra soldier had an evil, lopsided smile. He was smiling like he knew what was about to happen next.

"I want you to kill the woman, nice and slow. Torture her the very best that you can. Just like how I asked you to do, but you've failed the first try, Soldat." He gave out a throaty chuckle, before his smile fell and The Winter Soldier knew he had to comply and get his mission done with no more mistakes.

"Try not to fail this time," and Bucky knew not to fail for the tortures to stop even just for an hour.

The winter soldier did everything he could, his trespassing was perfect, nobody has seen him enter the small apartment, the time was right for a bloody murder, yet from the moment he set those soulless eyes of his on a woman who was devouring a triple chocolate cake with her leg up on a bar stool she was sitting on in the middle of her kitchen, he was stuck hiding behind a wall while watching her eat it all.

Bucky hasn't notice that she was talking on the phone with somebody while binge eating, he fixed his stealthy trance, deeply breathing inside his mask as he concentrated on the woman who made his controlled mind shake with his next plan. "Steve isn't my type," Y/N chewed on her cake, crumbs falling on the huge plate. Tucking her hair behind her ear before grabbing on the bread knife, swiping some of the chocolate frosting and licking it off. "I told you not to hook me up with some superhero! I'd rather die with twenty cats than lose a husband because he was busy saving the world!"

"Come on, Y/N. Fine, how about Sam Wilson?" Nathalie, your friend who works in your small cake shop answered back with a teasing tone. She had been one hell of a bug, telling you that you needed a man in your life and that you needed a little bit of a thrill.

"The Falcon? oh, god. Stop with the superheroes!" You laughed, giving kitten licks on your knife. A thought came into mind and it was bothering you a lot, creating a doubt inside those sweet heart of yours. "How do you even know those guys personally when you're working on cake shop with me?"

Nathalie shut her mouth for a second, "Hold your horses there, Ma'am." She uttered breathlessly, her voice more raspy. You were jealous of her voice, it was damn sexy to begin with. Why weren't you even blessed in that department? "You've accepted my rèsumè, it's not like I'm the lucky charm in that cake shop of yours that's located miles and miles away from the city. Do you people even have wifi?"

You heard a knock, you thought it was from your door but when you brought your head up to take a glance at it, the knock repeated and you realized it was from Nathalie's line.

"You're lucky you aren't here right now. When are you coming back from your vacation?"

You licked your lips that held lots of frosting and it tasted sweet. Yet it turned sour from the moment your friend decided to open her mouth, "I dunno, Y/N. When are you going to move on from the face of your murderer and try to accept other guys in your life?"

Her response made you zip your lips in a tight frown. "When are you going to forget him?"

"Nat, all I can ever remember is his face. How can I even forget about him when I dream about him every damn night?" You sighed exasperatedly, tugging on your roots a little hard. She gave out an audible sigh either, as you hear a door open on the other side of the line.

"You're kinda nuts, Y/N. Believing on love at first sight over your murderer. Didn't you remember he basically choked you alive in your apartment? Still, you couldn't forget about him?"

"Bucky seemed he needed to do it," You whispered too low but Nathalie was lucky to hear what you said because her ears were  sharper than a normal person's hearing. You were slowly remembering the incident that happened before, and it was making your breathing turn deeper with every scene that was coming back. Oh, the memories.

"Bucky? How did you even--Natasha, I swear you forgot to give the files to Tony and--" She loudly shushed the interruptor before speaking again, "Who told you his name, Y/N?" Another set of voices came from Nathalie's line. You were confused from the sudden interruption and you had your brows cinched together as you truthfully answered her.

"He kept repeating that name under his breath like it was his mantra when he was choking me alive. So, I just assumed his name was Bucky?"

"Y/N--" Your phone was snatched away from you. You heard your phone fall on the floor with a crack. The whole world became silent and so was your heart beat. You had no time to glance back because a large hand roughly grabbed onto your hair, painfully pulling at your roots as you were suddenly forced to spun around in a full 360 degrees.

The winter soldier grabbed your neck, wrapping his rough bionic fingers around your throat as he slammed your back against the dining table. You felt the pain shoot up your back, crawling all over your body. Your eyes bulged out of your eyesockets when you stared into his soulless eyes for the second time. It was him again. The beating of your heart seemed to be erratic, basically running mile after miles.

You thrashed against his hold, trying hard to wrench his fingers away from your neck. The Winter Soldier tightened his hold, making you cough out the air trapping inside your lungs.

His cold, dead heart skipped a beat as he was trapped inside the beautiful color of your eyes. What was happening to him? He let out a savage growl, feeling his heart pump so loud after years of darkness. You quickly reached for his face, snatching off his black, half faced mask and throwing it towards the end of your kitchen. That bold, risky action made him wrap his flesh fingers around your sneaky hands, slamming it down the table with an aching thud that made you whimper.

"B-Bucky...Bucky," You managed to croak out, feeling him go still. His dark, cerulean eyes bore into yours with a hopeless, desperate gaze. His gorgeous, soulless face was now vulnerable for you to see, even the windows to his eyes were opened and vincible, seeing the wounds planted inside his heart.

He breathed out ragged, deep breaths. Groaning out the confusement he was feeling. Bucky. The name rings a bell. He knew he heard it somewhere. But, was it really a name?

The Winter Soldier shook his head, snapping himself out of his daze. His insane mind was spinning crazy. Suddenly forgetting what he was ordered to do.

"отчего?" (Why?) He roughly sputtered beneath his breath, more to himself. His voice deep, rough and dry from not talking too much. The eyes of the man hovering above you looked too lost to even call him a man because he looked like a ghost, or a man with no soul.

"B-Bucky? T-That's your name, right?" You managed to croak out from how tight his fingers were around your neck. Veins started to form around his temples, he appeared to be triggered and frustrated. He was starting to breath deeper from the moment you said his name, even tightly closing his eyes to control himself. Trying hard to remember what he was for HYDRA. He was an asset, just a mere weapon. "Y-You're killing me..S-Stop..stop.."

The Winter Soldier could feel your pulse rate slowly fading, your body growing weaker and when he saw the tears fell from the side of your eyes, looking so helpless and desperate to live..He loosened his hold around your neck. The human inside of him trying to act what's right and moral.

He was certainly in conflict.

When you felt his fingers let go of your throat, you quickly took the chance to take a hold of his metal hand. Replacing it with yours to caress the hand mark and pain away. The Winter Soldier piercely stared on his own bionic hand, looking like he despised the metal hanging on his body.

"I know you remember me, Bucky." You gulped, hands shaky as you reached up and stretched your arm to cup his jaw. He flinched and held his breath. His instincts telling him that his body was ready for the pain you planned to give because he hurt you.

But, you didn't. Y/N would never hurt him.

"Bucky. My name's Bucky,"

"That's a nice name, beautiful even. Just like you."

"But, I hurt you. I'm a bad person. There's nothing beautiful when I'm involved. "

"It's because you had no other choice,"

"I do have a choice, and it was to save you,"

"They call me their asset, they call me the Winter Soldier and it's right to be scared of me because I am too,"

His heart knocked against his chest, and another. For the first time, with just a single thump. The voices, your voices echoed inside his brainwashed head. He felt alive and human, even for just a second his thoughts weren't filled with his nightmares.

There was finally a growing flower in the middle of a dead, dried up field. A boat for a stranded human on an isolated island and a sunflower in a field full of roses.

Yet, A mission is a mission and the Winter Soldier inside his head knew better when Bucky didn't. It was a defense mechanism rather than plomping him on the electric chair as he was forced to forget the face and name of the woman who he fell in love at first sight. The daughter of the woman whom he killed by strangling her in her sleep at exactly November 1, 2000.

"Нет, я их актив." (No, I am their asset.)

He knew he was a weapon and he immediately became one when he stabbed the palm of your hand with a knife. The Winter Soldier needed the blood to save you both, and he did because he finally got to save himself.

"прости меня, Y/N." (Forgive me, Y/N.) He harshly whispered to himself, remembering how you screamed and cried that night. Even painfully watching how the blood was dripping from the palm of your hand.

He tried to save you. He did even if it pained him to see you hurt and wounded and it was all because of him.

"You're my mission, why do you have to be my mission?"

REBLOG, LIKE OR COMMENT YOUR FEEDBACK FOR THIS ONESHOT OF MINE! HEEHEE! We’re close to reaching 200 followers and I’m so shookth how y’all manage to love what I write HAHAHHAHAHA jkjk. 

XOXO,

(TATA) SEBASTIAN’S POTATO BITCH

[fairylightsandchai]

22, 23, 30, and 75 regarding the numbers game, s'il vous plaît

Anything for you, mon cheri~ (No, I didn’t use google translate for that; I don’t know what you’re talking about.)

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Hahaha... No. I’ve seen Jaws way too many times. But if my friends/loved ones/significant other wanted to, I would wait for them on the boat and have cocktails with them afterwards, lol. Oh, but that being said, I would DEFINITELY swim with whale sharks because A) they’re my favorite all-time animal, and B) they’re gentle giants, so I would trust them not to eat me. 

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Kinda? My dad has very dark brown eyes, and mine are brown-ish, but they’re slightly hazel, which I 100% get from my mom. You can’t really see the hazel unless I’m wearing green, though, so typically I just tell folks that I have brown eyes. 

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Not everyone, but most people. There aren’t too many things people can do before I say they don’t deserve a second chance, but once they cross that line, it’s hard for me to trust them again. 

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I love music, but I also love to sing, so anytime a song with lyrics comes on that I know, I’ll end up singing along to it, lol. So I study best with either instrumental music playing in the background or rain sounds. Same thing goes for when I fall asleep - I need to have some kind of background noise. Absolute silence kinda creeps me out. 

Thanks so so much for playing, love! :) What about you? I’d like to hear your answers to these.

[315-no-stage]

[20190827] TFG 「My dear Summer」Release Event Photo Session fan report

(Yeah, I know it’s been over two weeks since the event. LOL I’m not much of a timely blogger but if you want the blow-by-blow as it happens, my Twitter is the best bet. I tend to word vomit especially when I’m going through an anxiety episode... as you would see later on. I’m mostly doing this for memory keeping, for myself lmao. And for information too, if you’re interested, especially if you’re a fan living outside of Japan. Please keep in mind that my listening skills are stronger than my speaking skills. However, when put on the spot, under pressure, that goes all away ahaha. I can’t read Japanese apart from name kanji.)

I guess I should begin when I first heard about this event. It was around May 2019 when the TFG twitter announced that they are holding a two-shot cheki chance event to celebrate the release of their first single My dear Summer. At that time, I simply wanted to get my hands on the CD lol. We had dreams of going to Anisamano plans of going to Japan any time soon (since I only just came back from my Tokyo no Jin trip earlier that month). 

I had my brother help me out with buying the CDs (Google Translate can only do so much) when he actually encouraged me to try for the cheki. He said it’s a lottery system, as usual, and it won’t hurt to try since I’m buying stuff anyway. So I did. I bought both the First Press Limited Edition sets A and B using my boy Haruto Sakuraba’s link and didn’t really think much of it. They said they were going to announce winners on July 24. The event was the following month, August 27.

The ball started rolling after that. July was the 2.5D Actor Appreciation Month. #25DAAM on twitter.I featured Haruto and Mayu Yoshioka on mine. Then we somehow secured tickets to Anisama 2019. A small part of me was hoping... what if I hit for that cheki chance with Haruto. Anisama was happening the weekend of the cheki event after all. My brother was willing to either go to Japan early or stay late. Our schedule all depended on the cheki event results.

The day before results were to be released, I was a mess. It’s been a long time since I got a panic episode but something was in the water that day. Add to that, the results. The time difference threw me off and I was obsessively checking my email. My brother told me to give it a full 24 hours to account for the time difference. So what did I do? I distracted myself with Kenji Arita lmao. My brother and I had been fairly lucky with chuusen whether it be for tickets or fan events. The last time I attempted a lottery was for the Nelke Planning panel with Shiratorizawa at JF19. I didn’t hit for that because they only recognized actual JP addresses and my proxy wasn’t allowed. (But it was all good because the standby crowd got so large they allowed us to watch behind the ticket winners anyway haha.) I was praying that that won’t be the case here too.

When I woke up the next morning for work, I checked my email... and it was there.  I had my brother actually open the email and translate for me. We were looking for a "できません" but instead, it was a long email full of instructions and congratulations. I actually got picked! I read and re-read the email many times just to convince myself that I actually won. The email said that exact time and place of the event was to be announced only to winners in a separate email nearer the date. Cool cool. I felt so special LMAO.

I actually got the specifics about a week after the first email. The directions were weirdly specific... and helpful for someone like me who doesn’t know what to do with North-South-East-West directions; I work better with “Turn right when you see a Mini Stop across the street from a pachinko parlor” types AHAHAHA. Time frame was 5pm to 8-ish, then they specified that Haruto would have less than an hour to get through all the chekis with fans. They also said something about which forms of identification were required, which gifts/letters are accepted, even how the poses were chosen. 

But even with all that... I had no idea what to do. I tried lowkey Googling and stalking butai/idol social media for fan reports and... I couldn’t find anything that answers my questions (and quelled my anxiety over the matter haha). So I hope if you find yourself in the same situation later, AND IF YOU’RE AN OVERSEAS FAN, I hope this long ass post is going to be helpful to you. I’ve been to one other cheki event - with Hiroki Ino in Cosplay Mania 2018 in Manila - but that’s more straightforward than this one. 

(My slogan should be “Will travel for cheki” ahahaha.)

Now that you’ve read through all that, let’s fast forward to August 27. After a hearty lunch at DiveryCity Tokyo, I made my way to the venue using the EXACT directions they provided in the email. I got there at exactly 5PM. I get by okay by myself in Tokyo but my brother usually acts as translator for me, like a crutch. But like on my May trip, I was by my lonesome on this adventure. 

I see a couple of girls in skirts (I was in a skirt too and it was a good call because it was pretty much dress code lol) waiting by the lobby. The sign said B2F so I go down and see more dressed up girls, some even in a yukata. They started lining up so I do the same. I was trying to make myself look small because I was playing everything by ear. They started calling out everyone who hit for Kento so the line thinned a little bit. I got to the registration desk and the staffer who looked so much like Maki Kawase took my paper confirmation and ID. After looking through her sheet, Nobu’s, she politely corrected me that “Sakuraba-san isn’t until...” she said a time but in my flustered and frankly, embarrassed state, it took me a while to figure it out. She even referred to another staffer behind her for the correct time. I apologized and made my way out but then she pointed to a nearby bench, gesturing for me to stay there instead of going back up.

That was when I started panic tweeting HAHAHAHA. If you don’t want to read further, then please just click on this Twitter Thread instead. Thanks! But if you want Stephen King-level of detail, keep reading. XD

Watching those little kids do scales and random dances calmed me down. Miss Staff-san (let’s just call her that) kept tabs on me, glancing at me from time to time and whenever we’d meet eyes, she’d smile. That kept me grounded. Also, talking to my mutuals who were humoring me was a huge help. I managed to laugh and distract myself. When I started seeing a new batch of girls lining up with Haruto pin badges and an excess of purple on their person, I followed. When Miss Staff-san saw me up next, she gave me a huge smile and a thumbs up. I went up to register and.. my name was easiest to find since it was the only one in the Roman alphabet. I was number 50 in a list that I think went up to 75. 

We were herded into an honest to goodness dance practice studio. You know, with all the mirrors and low ceilings. Picture samples of the poses were on the wall, as done by Reo and Haruto. Pose A was your generic “double peace” sign. Pose B was doing an “Asian squat” and the photo was taken from above. Pose C would have you back-to-back with the member. Then there’s the special pose. Haruto teased that he was inspired by Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. Hello, Pose C. Haruto Sakuraba is 6′2″ and I am a hobbit. Nope. Plus I’m very basic when it comes to poses. Ask Ino hahaha.

As the room filled, it drove home that I was the only foreigner there. Normally, it wouldn’t have mattered to me but at that moment, I was under a lot of pressure, my earlier faux pas still had me embarrassed, plus my severe lack of Japanese speaking skill was getting to me. I know, it’s all in my head; obviously I overcame it but if you have anxiety, you know how stressful that can be. I tried keeping myself small, trying to blend in. All the while, I kept seeing Miss Staff-san in my periphery and that calmed me down somewhat.

Then they lined us up according to the number on the ticket. I know what 50 is in Japanese so I just kept my ears open for that. I dropped off my fan letters before I could forget (Nobu got one too, handwritten in English but with a typed up translation sheet) then we were led to another, larger dance studio area. At the opposite end of the room were room dividers. They had My dear Summer on loop but I was so in my head that I didn’t even suffer from earworm. I just kept updating Twitter. More for personal sanity than anything ahahhaa.

Haruto took his time with fans. I noticed Reo’s line went by much faster. By the time he was almost done (his started a bit later than ours), I think Haruto’s only on his 20th fan. I calmed down enough to get my bearings back and I was glad to know that I wasn’t the only one losing her mind. The other girls were talking amongst themselves about the back-to-back pose and what they want to say to him. He seemed so friendly, if the laughter and chatting we were hearing from behind the dividers were any indication, and all of us wanted to make a good impression. Giiirl, I wasn’t even sure if the boy spoke a lick of English! XD

Then. It was my turn.

The staffer asked me which pose I want to do and being the boring person that I am, I chose A pose. Another staffer took my purse but all I saw was Haruto up close in his TFG get up.

Haruto: ありがとうございます Me: OMG Hi! 海外 fan  です!  *Haruto’s eyebrows disappear into his fringe. Staff takes pic* Haruto: Ah double peace. Er so... Me: I'm from California. Los Angeles. Haruto: Ah, California. So you don't speak Japanese? Me: A little bit. Your English is good.  Haruto: Aaah, not so much. I try. So when did you get to Japan? Me: Sunday? I'm here for Anisama and to see you! Haruto: Ah thank you so much. Staff: Next! ありがとうございました  *Haruto hands me the cheki. we bow at each other* Haruto: ありがとうございました. Bye-bye! Me: ありがとうございました.

I mean, the whole thing couldn’t have been more than 30 seconds but it felt so much longer. His final  ありがとうございました has a bit of emphasis as if trying to teach me. Oh you! I knew at least that much. 

Then was I was leaving the booth, I heard the staffers go, "Whoa... I didn't know you can do that!" And he was all "Ay-yah... hehe." GUYS. GUYSSSS!!!! I couldn’t stop smiling... from the moment I just had to the moment he just had to... ALL OF IT! And as I left the venue, Miss Staff-san was right there waiting for me at the door. When she was my delicately holding the cheki in my hand, she patted me on the shoulder and said  “ よくやった!” I never thanked anyone that profusely in my life. (Honestly, her kindness made me tear up.)

I have no flippin’ idea how I kept it together in there. It was a total Yuri On Ice moment where Yuuri just let everything go at that moment and let it all out on the ice when it mattered. I said pretty much everything I wanted to say which wasn’t much. All I wanted to do is to let him know that he has overseas fans. And to test how good his English skills are. 

And let me tell you, it was more than okay. There was absolutely no hesitation in his words. He kept eye contact and oh lawd, his SMILE up close? I don’t know how I’m still here telling you all this. Now every time I hear his voice, I hear it in English ahahaha. (I know he spoke Chinese at a radio show but I wasn’t able to catch that and they haven’t put up the archive at all. Pfft.)

What made me so happy was he ended up impressing not only me but the staff too!!! He even took control of the conversation. The staffers were like "What's going on?" smiling at him as we talked. I'm sofkng proud.

(I should mention that this is technically my 8th time seeing Haruto in person. I saw Tokyo no Jin seven times in May. I figured that would help me a bit with the stress but nope. Although, I cannot wait for everyone to see the TnJ BD and experience his take on Bokuto. You’ll understand this admiration all the more lmao.)

So there it is. If you’re still with me, thank you. I hope I didn’t come across as annoying. I was - am - just so excited that I was able to do this and I wanted to share my experience. Haruto is such a precious sweetheart. I wish him the best of everything.

[justisaisfine]

God i love french

Virgil laid on his bed, with Remy on the floor beside him, tallkng about whatever it is they do.

Remy looked at Virgil, and after a few momwnts of silence, begins to speak French.

“tu sais combien je t'aime? comment j'aime tout de toi? J'adore la manière dont tes yeux s'illuminent de joie quand tes frères sont heureux ou que tu écris la chanson parfaite lryic, ou joue une nouvelle mélodie à la guitare. J'aime la façon dont vos cheveux ont tendance à tomber dans votre visage, mais cela ne compte pas pour vous. J'adore ce que je sais de toi à propos de toi mais si peu, parce qu'il y a des choses que je ne devrais pas savoir, et c'est bon, et ce que je sais est celui que je veux, celui qui est juste devant moi. J'adore la façon étonnante dont ta voix sonne, mais je veux honnêtement te faire taire en t'embrassant tellement, parce que tu es adorable quand tu parles de te faire aimer, que je veux embrasser ces lèvres qui font un kilomètre par minute. oh dieu virgil je t'aime, je veux te serrer dans mes bras et t'embrasser et te câliner et être à toi. J'aime votre détermination, votre désir de faire ce que vous pouvez, comment vous protégerez ceux que vous aimez et ce que vous aimez de toutes vos forces. j'aime comment, même si je les hais, vous connaissez tous les mèmes et comment vous m'avez aidé à comprendre, vous êtes là pour moi et m'aidez et je veux juste vous prendre par la main et vous embrasser et vous embrasser votre nez et votre front et vos joues et partout! tu es mon.” Remy said

Virgil nods at him.“ditto, coolio. Down with the person who took away that one special coffee.”

Remy laughed.“im glad you dont know French, its fun.”

Virgil said.“ok look, i heard my name, I think you said meme at one point, and that was it. What did you say?”

Remy smirked.“just stuff about Starbucks.”

Viefil nods and held up his phone. It was on a recording app.“cool, then ill just ask Logan or Dee to translate this for me.”

Remy tackled Virgil, trying to get his phone.“nope no delete it!” He was blushung. He could NOT let Virgil heard that in English. No way! Logan might keep it a secret, but there is about a 25 percent chance he won’t. Dee? Depends on his mood. Will either make up a lie, tease Virgil, tell him. Or worse. Teach Virgil French.

Virgil laughs below Remy who finally manages to wrestle the phone out of his hands and delete the recording.

Virgil smirked.“no need to get so defensive over coffee.”

Remy blushed but shrugged.“like i said, it’s dumb. Plus I said about ten curse words and if roman found out, i wouldnt be aloud back.” He lied.

After Remy deleted the audio file, he took a second to observe what was going on.

He was straddling virgil’s hips, with Virgil in a opened ripped hoodie, messy hair and skinny jeans below him.

And Remy was about 5 inches from his face.

This wasnt good. Not good at all.

But oh so perfect.

If he did it now, it would be a quick kiss, maybe he could blame gravity and say it was an accident when he went to get up if virgil didnt respond well.

Yeah thats it. He would adjust so it seemed like he is getting off, he would press his lips to virgil’s for a second, maybe slightly longer, but still short enough to be an accident. He would sit up quick and get off him saying, ‘hey sorry, I Miller’s and if Virgil was just wanting to be friends, he would ingore it, if he wanted to be more well…maybe remy wouldnt have time to get off him.

But before Remy could put his plan into action, the bedroom door swing open.

“Virgil, Remy! We put on treasure planet! Oh?” Patton stood at the door, way, Remy sat up,“I was just after his phone is all!” He got off Virgil, wishing he had kissed him instead of thinking of what to do.

Patton giggled.“no need to get defensive Remy! I trust you.” Remy believed Patton, but there was that hidden…warning to his voice,

Virgil sat up.“ah cool, treasure planet yas!” And left hisbroom.

Parfon smled once it was just him and Remy.“now Remy, if you just confessed, i might not have ruined your moment.” He giggled. Remy blushed. He wasn’t …thAt….obvious, was he?

“Im sure you two would be so cute together! But if you break virgil’s heart apart…well, your relationship wont be the only thing that is over!~” and Patton skipped off to movie night.

Remy was thoroughly terrified.

—–

After Remy left, Virgil gushed to his brothers.“so i recorded him cause he was ranting and honestly he could probably say he took over China and kissed the warts on a pig and it would sound romantic. So i record him to tease him and I thought i would ask logan or dee later, maybe use google translate if im desperate. He tackled md onto the bed- calm,down Roman, not in a bad way- and he is trying so hard and related the recording. Said he cursed, but he taught me all the French curses- so i can avoid them Roman, not use them! Haha…ha- anyways! and he is sitting on my lap and oh his his face was so close. I should have kissed him! But then i might have ruined our friendship but i might have made it a relationship but then..just…feelings.” Hs sighed

Meanwhile, dee was on the phone listening to reny rant after almost kissing Virgil.

—–

This is what i typed into google translate 

do you know how much i love you? how i love everything about you? i love the way your eyes light up in joy when your brothers are happy, or you write the perfect song lryic, or play a new melody on the guitar. i love the way your hair tends to fall in your face, but it doesnt matter to you. i love how i know so mu h about you but so little, because there are things i shouldnt know, and that is ok, and the you i know is the one i want, the one who is right here in front of me. i love the amazing way your voice sounds, but i honestly want to shut you up by kissing you so much, because you look adorable when you talk about someehing you love, that i want to kiss those lips that go a mile a minute. oh god virgil i love you, i want to hug you and kiss you and cuddle you and be yours. i love your determination, your desire to do what you can, how you will protect who you love and what you love with all your might. i love how, even if i hate them, you know every meme out there, and how you helped me figure out me, you are there for me and help me out and i just want to take you by the hand and kiss you and kiss your nose and forehead and cheeks and everywhere! you are my world and my sunshine, my moon and my universe, you are everything, and i crave to tell you in english but you understand english and i am afriad of rejection

@sockpansy AHHHHH THIS IS SO SO SO GOOD WTHECKY Remy is so so smooth when he wants to;; b o i speak up boi

（。≖ิ‿≖ิ）Remy please get your mind out the gutter

(google translate has gotten better since the last time i used it hahahah it still automatically translates you to vous which wouldnt be the correct this for remy to use in this (he’d use Tu instead or vous since Virgil is close to him and also not 80 years old hahaha)

[lunawings]

Young of Prism #06 Yukinojo

Read the original Japanese: http://www.pashplus.jp/anime/106552/ Previous: Alexander

Translator’s notes: I only know this from context, but it seems  “Kunitachiya” (国立屋) is the kabuki stage name passed down through Yukinojo’s family. Kabuki actors are traditionally men, so it was passed from Yukinojo’s grandfather to his father, and will be passed to him. I don’t really know much else about kabuki, but the kabuki play they discuss is this one and “kumadori” is this.  There is also a phrase Yukinojo says in here while he’s practicing, which is apparently an old timey phrase for introduction to kabuki shows or something? But googling that the first hit I got was people, in Japanese, trying to figure out what it meant... So... uh... yeeeeeah.... I did what I could. I’m really glad there was furigana for Yukinojo’s father and grandfather’s names. 

<#06: Yukinojo>

“I’m... Kunitachiya!” 

Young Yukinojo shouted this out as his eyes sparkled.

“Ahaha. And you are the seventh generation.”

Yukiou, Yukinojo’s grandfather, scooped him up and laughed heartily. 

“But first you have to make your official debut. Can you do it, number seven?”

Yukinojo took a deep breath.

“Yes, I can!”

“Mmhm. That’s the spirit.”

This praise from his beloved grandfather made Yukinojo overjoyed. 

* * *

“Ladies and gentlemen, come one come all! Tonight you are in for quite a show!”

Even after his lessons had finished, Yukinojo continued to practice feverishly. 

“Andy, how was that?”

Yukinojo turned to his stuffed bear. It was a present from his mother, Setsuko, and it was his loyal audience. 

“I wonder if I can really become the next Kunitachiya...”

“Yukinojo? You’re still up?”

“Mom!”

Yukinojo’s mother began to carry her pajama-clad son to his bed. 

“No! I’m not ready for bed yet! I still have to practice...”

“You’ll have lessons tomorrow too.”

Yukinojo tried to free himself his mother’s grasp by kicking around, but it was no use. 

“But...!”

“Yukinojo, if you don’t get your sleep you won’t become a great performer.”

“Huh?”

“Your father and grandfather are only able to perform such brilliant kabuki shows because when they were your age, they got their proper rest.”

“Whaaaat?”

“No kids who stay up late can perform like that.”

Yukinojo was speechless. He blinked his eyes silently as he allowed this information to sink in. Then, he quickly jumped into bed.

“I’m going to sleep now Mom! Good night!”

“Okay. Good night!”

“And I’ll be OK sleeping all by myself! I’m a Kunitachiya!”

“Eheh, that’s right.”

“Ah!”

“Hm? What is it?”

Suddenly Yukinojo sat up. There was something he had forgotten. 

“.....Yukinojo.”

“B.. But if Andy doesn’t sleep with me, he’ll be lonely...”

“....Well alright then. I’m turning out the lights.”

“Okay.”

Hugging Andy tightly, Yukinojo closed his eyes. 

* * *

“Mommy...”

It was the middle of the night. Dragging Andy behind him, Yukinojo was searching for his mother. 

“Oh!”

He was able to locate the next room by the glow of light leaking through the partially open door. He could hear voices whispering also.

“For Yukinojo’s first appearance on stage...”

Peeking into the room, Yukinojo could see the figure of Kikuemon, his father.

“How about at this month’s Two Lions dance...”

“Hmm.”

“Lions!!”

All of a sudden, Yukinojo was wide awake.

“Yukinojo! What are you doing up at this hour...”

Turning a deaf ear to his mother, Yukinojo bounded straight for his father.

“Dad! I wanna be a lion!”

“Oh ho ho, I see. Well you’ll be our lion then.”

“Hmm... Don’t you think it’s a bit soon...”

“It will just be for one day! He can make an appearance in the finale, on stage with the two of us.”

“I wanna do it! With Daddy and Grandpa!”

“Hahaha. Well okay then. Three generations of Kunitachiya on stage together.”

Kikuemon lifted Yukinojo up into the air.

“Wheee!”

“Oh you... You’ll do your best, won’t you?”

“I will! Ahah higher Daddy, higher!” 

* * *

The next morning. 

“Yukinojo, it’s time to get up... Oh what now?”

Yukinojo was in front of the mirror, concentrating deeply on something.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah! Mom!”

Stage makeup kits were spread all around him.

“I’m practicing kumadori!”

In his hand was Andy, all smudged in white and red.

And so, the years passed by...

“Yuki-sama! I brought your laundry!”

“Ah, Leo. Thank you.”

“What’s happened here?”

“I was just tidying my room.”

Yukinojo’s room was in quite a state of disarray.

“Oh! This stuffed bear...!”

“Ah. It looks a bit out of place in this room, doesn’t it?”

A smile spread across Yukinojo’s face as he picked up Andy in both arms.

“But he was my very first audience.”

Next: Minato

[wooyoung-a]

what is this embarrassing moment i hear

VAL thx for asking but yeah u asked for it i just hope it isn't as embarrassing to u as it was to me

SO YOU KNOW HOW ONLINE REPORTINGS GO RYT i hate it. to my guts. ESPECIALLY when i don't have any fucking friends in this college bc it literally started online SO I HAVE THIS teensy tiny small bit crush on this guy WHICH SUDDENLY BECAME MY GROUPMATE. he's cool and has a deep voice. that's not the point.

I HAVE THREE SPLIT SCREENS. one for the tab i should be presenting, one for that one recording (which was human sexuality– embarrassing enough) i was copying notes from that wasn't the current subject, and one tab for the messaging platform we were talking in for the report. WE WERE GROUP TWO and we were SLAAACKING and everything was just panicky.

i decided that i didn't help when they were brainstorming bc im shy as fuck and mainly bc i was already researching about our topic. THEN it was suddenly report time ????? SO I KINDA did the slides in a fast simple way IT WAS PERFECT. not until we realized we haven't decided who was going to FUCKING TALK !!!!

so they ping'ed me !!! asked me to share the screen so we wouldn't let the prof and our blockmates waiting <33 I DID.

i never EVER had shared my screen in this fucking complicated app called zoom. last year we only used google meet so i was CONFUSED AS FUCK BUT I CLEARLY REMEMBER CLICKING THAT ONE TAB I WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO SHARE !!!!!!!!!

AND what's worse was no one was still talking and and and everyone in our group just keep pointing at each other while i watch AND I GREW EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED bc i don't like people waiting !!! and who knows we might get scolded for that ?? i hated the vibe idk !!!

SO I TALKED !!! i switched tabs on that messaging platform to see our past brainstormings BC THAT'S WHAT I LITERALLY JUST READ !!! and drumrolls !!!!! here it is !!!! no one was MESSAGING THE GROUP THAT I WAS LITERALLY SHARING MY WHOLE SCREEN !!!!

I WAS PETRIFIED !!!!! i thought i had stopped sharing bc i already clicked a button god knows what AND SUDDENLY THAT GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT MESSAGED !!! THE GROUP !!! he said "gagu nakita convo naten sarap magpalamon HAHAHA" which translates in the lines of "/Gago is a descendant of the Spanish word gago, which means "stutterer", but means "stupid", "foolish" or "ignorant" in Tagalog. It is interchangeable with the related terms of native etymology: tanga, (b)ugok, botlog, (b)ulol and bobo./ our convos can be seen earth swallow me rn"

I WAS !!! PANICKING !! literally shaking hands cold feet cold body felt like disintegrating !!! he said IT IN PAST FORM so i thought it was done so I MESSAGED AND I KEPT ON SAYING SORRY AND MY SISTER FROM BEHIND ME told me i was still sharing my fucking screen !! :')

everything was messy but yeah point of the whole rant: i'm ashamed of myself AND DAMN would never tell a soul who knows my crush that that guy is my crush :')

if u've read this far i hope you're laughing your ass off bc i wouldn't be telling this whole embarrassing story just for my downfall i also want to give you a laugh. if you didn't laugh.. i'm sorry i only gave you secondhand embarrassment </3

[maiji]

Thoughts on Grasses of Remembrance (The Tale of Genji through its poetry)

Finally had some time this weekend to sit down with A Waka Anthology, Volume 2: Grasses of Remembrance Part B by Edwin A. Cranston. This book is the last in an impressive and intimidating collection translating a number of major classical poetry anthologies. It’s basically a speedrun through Tale of Genji (if such a thing were possible) filtered through all 795 waka poems written or uttered by the characters over the course of the novel.

Poetry was a Really Big Deal during the Heian era. If you were an aristocrat, not only were you expected to compose decent poetry, you had to be able to do it off-the-cuff appropriate to the occasion. AND to do this properly, you were expected to be able to recognize and respond cleverly to references to a ton of other existing classic poems from memory that people would just mention casually in conversation or writing (kinda like how people quote the Simpsons today lol). This was a prime marker of how intelligent/competent and - no joke - how sexy you were. So not surprisingly, these poems are extremely important to the development of character interactions and themes in the Tale of Genji which has a lot of romance and relationship plotlines. 

However. Translating Heian era Japanese into modern Japanese is already challenging. Rendering Heian era Japanese waka poetry into modern English is, as you might imagine, harder for a bunch of reasons. Considering how dense the actual novel already is, it’s super easy to gloss over the poetry, and some modern translations simply integrate the basic intent of the poems right into the main text/dialogue.

I was really interested in finding something specifically focusing on and analyzing the poetry, and this book appeared to fit the bill.

Short review: IT TOTALLY DOES. If you’re into Tale of Genji, Heian era, classical Japanese history, classical Japanese literature, Japanese poetry, or just love reading translators articulating eloquently while sassing characters or flailing through linguistic complexities, I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK

Long review: blah blah blah thoughts follows, including some quotes/poem for reference.

The book starts with a quick 2 page intro setting the context of the Tale of Genji, then goes straight into the poems. TBH I personally found it more flowery and redundant than necessary (it repeats a few poems that are then explained later). But it’s only 2 pages, we’ll live.

Then, the poems. For every poem (or poems, in the case of an exchange - sometimes a flurry of them with multiple characters speaking or dashing letters off to each other) there’s an intro and summary of context followed by an analysis, including notes on meaning, narrator and character intent, structure, symbols and wordplay. The original Japanese is included in romaji alongside the English translation. The commentary also flags known references to other classic poems (WITH those poems in-line! This is awesome because I don’t have the rest of these books!), and even mentions poem and folk song quotations from the rest of the novel where the characters have not composed new poetry, but are reciting other existing known pieces.

Overall, I have only three real “warnings” about Grasses of Remembrance Vol 2b:

1) It’s very academic and flowery in tone. If you’re not used to it, it can be hard to read. But then again, if you’re not willing to get past that, how are you reading Tale of Genji? lol. In any case, I personally thought the commentary was a lot of fun. Cranston definitely has opinions and can get pretty sarcastic in places, which I found hilarious. Here are a few sample quotes:

“Tamakazura has remarked to herself how superior the Emperor [Reizei] was in looks to all the courtiers in his train (It is a principle with this author that superior people be dashingly handsome or ravishingly beautiful).” 

“The ruefully witty poems exchanged between Yugiri and To no Naishi [Koremitsu’s daughter, the Gosechi Dancer] are rather more to my taste than the soggy ones Yugiri and Kumoi no Kari exchanged on their wedding night. Might it be the case that a totally sanctioned relationship is literarily uninspiring?”

“The old lady reaches for the melodramatic ultimate and dies just as Yugiri’s letter arrives.”

The overall effect is like an exceedingly well-educated, gossipy and sassy ride through the entire novel hahaha. 

2) Minor typos. I noticed some speckled throughout the text every so often (e.g., Tamakazura being rendered Takakazura, Akashi as Asashi, instances of accidental extra letters, etc.). It was pretty clear what the correct spelling was supposed to be, and TBH considering this is the last of a huge-ass series of over 1300 pages I think it’s forgiveable. Maybe a few that spell-check should have caught, but oh well.

3) This book is NOT CHEAP. As I mentioned in a previous post, not only did I not buy the entire collection, I didn’t even buy a complete Volume 2 - I only bought the last half of the second volume lmao. And the Tale of Genji translations are only HALF of this half of a book. The rest is actually the footnotes, appendices, notes to poems, glossary, bibliography and indices (including indices for every poem by author and by first line) for this beast of a translation/compilation project. This includes a lot of additional commentary and other poems and makes for pretty interesting reading itself, even without the rest of the volumes/parts. The price can definitely be scary and an issue for a lot of people, so if you’re interested in it, I suggest try checking it out at your library or on Google Books first. (In fact, Google Books is how I learned of this book in the first place.)

For me, the depth of insight for the poems was fantastic. It gave me a lot more appreciation for the scenes, including the mental state of the characters, plus a million more symbols, metaphors and ideas for my own creative works like the Genjimonogatari illustration series, North Bound and other original stuff. 

It also clarified several fuzzy translation questions I had that relied on specific knowledge of Heian culture and history/evolution of the use of the language and wasn’t easily found in Google searches or online language resources. And even if you’re already familiar with common allusions, metaphors and puns/homophones in Japanese poetry, it’s still helpful to see them all summarized. And sometimes lamented by the book’s author too. SO MANY PONIES EATING GRASS. SO MANY PINES. Especially the pines. (It IS an amazing pun though, especially because it works in both English and Japanese. Pine [tree] -> to pine, matsu/pine tree -> matsu/to wait)

In term of the actual translations themselves, you may still find them coming off a bit roundabout in some cases when comparing to the original Japanese. But overall I find Cranston’s translations more direct/flavourful than how they were rendered in the Tyler translation, partly because of how Tyler chose to juggle his set of translator’s challenges for rendering not only meaning but also more technical aspects of the poetic form. So the imagery ends up being, to me, a lot more vivid. The overall effect usually ends up more colourful, more emotional, more erotic, more cutting, more entertaining, and whatnot. 

For example, Kashiwagi’s suitor’s poem in the Kocho/Butterflies chapter. When reading the novel, I was like, uh-huh, yah, OK. When I read it here, I was like whoa, dude, that’s a little intense lol. Cranston’s translation amps up the connotation of the heat of the water based on the rest of the line. For comparison:

(The original non-romaji Japanese in the samples following are thanks to the Japanese Text Initiative from the University of Virginia Library Etext Centre and the University of Pittsburgh East Asian Library. Their Tale of Genji page has a FREAKING AMAZING side-by-side comparison of the novel in original Japanese, modern Japanese and romaji. Bless them and the people who had to organize and wrangle that text together.)

Original Japanese: 思ふとも君は知らじなわきかへり 岩漏る水に色し見えねば Omou to mo / Kimi wa shiraji na / Wakikaeri Iwa moru misu ni / Iro shi mieneba

Tyler version: You can hardly know that my thoughts are all of you, for the stealthy spring welling from the rocks leaves no colour to be seen.

Cranston version: Hardly can you know / Of the longing that I feel, / For the boiling wave / Is merely colorless water / As it drains away from the rock.

Here’s another example. Oigimi (Agemaki in the book, as Cranston used Wayley’s names for the sisters) telling Kaoru that he’s the only one who’s been actually visiting them and Kaoru is like all riiiight :Db! From Shii ga Moto / Beneath the Oak chapter:

Oigimi’s poem 雪深き山のかけはし君ならで またふみかよふ跡を見ぬかな Yuki fukaki / Yama no kakehashi / Kimi narade Mata fumikayou / Ato o minu kana

Tyler: No brush but your own has marked the steep mountain trails buried deep in snow / with footprints, while back and forth letters go across the hills.

Cranston: Over the bridges / Clinging to the cliffs along / Our deep-snow mountains / No letter-bearer leaves his trace: / Those footprints are yours alone.

Kaoru’s reply つららとぢ駒ふみしだく山川を しるべしがてらまづや渡らむ Tsurara toji / Koma fumishidaku / Yamakawa o Shirube shigatera / Mazu ya wataramu

Tyler: Then let it be I who firsts ride across these hills, though on his mission, / where ice under my horse’s hooves crackles along frozen streams.

Cranston: In the sheets of ice / Covering the mountain streams / My steed crushes / Such letters as form my reason, / My first, to cross as a guide.

In other examples, Genji’s “*throws hands in the air* I give up” poetic reply to Suetsumuhana about how she keeps using Robes of Cathay/Chinese cloak imagery in her poems in the original Japanese alongside the translation cracked me up even more. And one of my favourites is a pair of poems between the future Akashi Empress (as a child) and her birth-mother the Akashi lady. It’s really sad, sweet and cute all at the same time and completely flew under my radar when I read the novel originally.

The poetry analysis for the Uji chapters is especially intriguing. The plot pointedly pits Niou against Kaoru as opposing personalities with particular similarities and contrasts that drive their relationship with each other and with the woman they’re competing for. Especially in the latter half of the story, a lot of their poems, even ones written independently (i.e., to Ukifune), are specifically composed to highlight those attributes and play off of each other.

Finally, it’s also super interesting to see my experience with the narrative changes through the lens of the poems. Obviously, as I mentioned, some things I easily missed without paying as much attention to the poems in between the rest of the story. But also, some prominent characters have very few poems, so the narrative shifts away from them. Meanwhile, a number of otherwise very minor or usually overlooked characters stand out even more, thanks to the fineness, loveliness, resonance, and sometimes just sheer consistent presence of their poetry. This book definitely gave me a lot of additional perspective on the Tale of Genji, and enhanced my appreciation of the novel and the skill behind its crafting!

[harukalee]

“The best decision of my life” Chapter 2:

We find a very confused Touko, going back home with her father in their limousine. She’s still trying to process all the recent events

*flashback, in the main room of the Kidou’s house*

-O-our engagement!? –said a notoriously confused Touko-

-Yes, Touko. Sir Kidou and I, decided that you two should marry each other, so it would be beneficial for both companies. Since you two are the heirs of our companies.

-That’s why you, Zaizen Touko, will marry with my son, Kidou Yuuto. –said with a decisive tone- So, with that we’ll merge our companies and prosper using your father's political position along with my influences.

-B-but this is madness! –said Touko while getting altered- That being announced so suddenly… Besides, Kidou does not agree with this! Right, Kidou? –asked him confusedly-

-You’re wrong. Touko. –he stood up his chair while saying it- I’m completely agree with the decision of our parents. I agree with the marriage.

-EEEEEEEEEEEHH!? How could you say that!?

-Personally, I think i would be better marrying with someone I already know, than marrying with a complete stranger.

-M-maybe you have a valid point… B-but!

Before she could finish her sentence, Kidou’s father interrupts them.

-Hahaha! That’s my son! –he said pleased- Well, it’s decided. The prime minister and I, will go to make the agreement in the other room. Meanwhile, you two should take the time to talk about this.

-We’ll return shortly. –he whispers to his daughter before leaving- (I think he’s not a bad guy for you)

-D-dad! Please! –she blushes in response-

They leave the room, leaving these two alone.

-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KIDOU!? –screamed flustered-

-What do you mean, Touko? –he answered calmly-

-WHAT DO I MEAN!? THE MARRIAGE THING OBVIOUSLY! WHAT DID YOU MEAN YOU WERE MORE COMFORTABLE BEING WITH ME? –screams back, flustered-

-What I said, precisely.

-B-but why didn’t you reacted to this marriage thing like me!? Did you already knew about this and that was why you said that stuff!? You wanted to talk to me about that today!?

-No, I didn’t knew about it. Actually, i heard about it the same time as you.

With that said, Kidou slowly approaches to Touko. Getting closer to her as he speaks.

-And no. That’s not what I wanted to talk today.

-T-then why you said that stuff!? Because it sounded like...

Unable to finish the sentence, Kidou interrupts her.

-Like I fell in love with you?

-Eh…?

Kidou, being already in front of the confused girl, he was staring directly to her eyes. His stare was so penetrating that even Touko could see inside his googles, his red eyes, they were staring at her soul.

-Touko, you… I…

I’m in love with You.

...

After saying these words, these feelings he waited to say during all day… There wasn’t more than a few seconds of silence before Touko blushed and screamed in response to Kidou’s sudden declaration of love.

-E-e-e-e-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?  I-I-I-I, Y-Y-Y-You, b-b-but why!?

-I… -sighs- I don’t know. When I realized, my eyes were always on you. Your lively being, your warmness, the comfy feeling I had when I was at your side, I thought that was because I considered you as very good friend. But… When I thought of you, I felt so confused, suddenly I didn’t wanted anyone to be with you, the times that Rika came to visit you with some guy to flirt with you, it filled me with rage. And I didn’t knew why… But then, I realized that you were more than just special. I had feelings for you. I still have. I even consider you as someone I would spend the rest of my life with.

-K-Kidou i… -blushed- I had no idea…

-And when my father mentioned me about the arranged marriage, I thought I had to leave my feelings aside. That I would have to give up the idea of being with you… You don’t know how happy I was when they said I had to marry you. Right now, I feel I finally have a chance, of being with you.

The girl, covering her flustered face with her hands, she answers:

-How can you say these embarrassing things so easily…?

-I’m just expressing the feelings I have deep inside my heart.

-B-besides… I-I don’t know how to answer your feelings yet… I-I’m not even sure about what I feel when I think of you… -she whispers while lowering her head-

-Do not worry. I know that. At least I know you don’t feel the same way. Yet.

-Yet!? W-what do you mean?

-I mean that… Before our wedding day arrives, I’ll make you fall in love with me.

-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? –screams flustered-

Kidou, kneels before Touko, and says:

-I know what you think, and I too, don’t want a loveless marriage. So, that’s why, I’ll change that. I’ll make you have feelings for me. I want you to look at me. I… -starts to blush- I swear that before we get married, I’ll make you fall in love with me, I’ll make you see me as your partner, your friend, your boyfriend and most importantly, your husband. I’ll play this match, and I’ll give my all so I can finally be someone worthy in your heart. This… -holds Touko’s hand- will be the most important match in my life. And I swear I’ll win!

Touko, completely amazed and embarrassed, he sees how Kidou after saying all these things, he’s shaking while blushing and even so, he got the guts to look at her eyes. She couldn’t just ignore that.

-Kidou, i…

Before she could even think of a phrase, her father steps into the room. Dispelling quickly the tense and nervous scene between the both of them. Kidou gets up quickly before the prime minister even notices what was happening there.

-Touko! You finished talking? We have to go home now!

-A-ah! O-okay dad!

-Thank you for taking care of my daughter. -bows before Kidou- We’ll meet again.

-Of course, sir. –bows back to Touko’s father- Take care heading back home.

As they were leaving the room, Kidou gave Touko a smile while she was looking back at him. Touko still wasn’t being able to process what had just happened.

…

*end of the flashback*

Touko, who just had finished remembering everything, was looking even more flustered than she was before leaving.

-I… -sighs while blushing-

What am I going to do now…?

…

End of chapter 2.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was so inspired while I was typing this chapter and, being honest I screamed “WHEN’S THE NEXT CHAPTER!?!?!?” and I even forgot that i was the author in this story, lmao

Remember that exists a spanish version of this fanfic story so, here’s the link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12827403/3/La-mejor-decision-de-mi-vida

I hope you had liked it almost like I did when I wrote it. So if you liked it, wait for the next chapter for moar :3

Pd: Sorry if it took too long translating this, I got kinda depressed these last days but I’m fine now. u.u

[josandymahaputra-blog]

6 Tips for Your Japan Trip

So I was in Japan from 19th of August - 4th of September. 9 days for a conference, 8 days for a trip. After the conference was over, I went to several places such as Odaiba, Shinjuku, Harajuku, Ikebukuro, Tochigi, etc. Realizing that I do not know when I will visit Japan again, I plan my day carefully and did much research to find the best way to explore Japan. Below are the tips from a conclusion of my research and experiences that can help you if you want to visit Japan one day.

A. Stop Making Decisions Based on Google Suggestions or What Society Say to You. 

There are a lot of interesting places in Japan. If you google it, you'll find many suggestions that will make you overwhelming with hundreds of information. Or if you ask your friends, they will share a different perspective as well. Now here is the thing, you can't let this situation affect your main decision. Because it is someone else's experience, which may be different from what you really want. Before exploring Japan or other interesting countries, knowing which areas that you really want to visit are important. Simply ask yourself, what kind of experience would you like to have there? An experience that will make your heart singing, which will give you a satisfaction in the end. Think deeper, and you’ll find the answer.Once you find the answer, for instance: visit Osaka. Create a plan and start your research to collect every important information. It is crucial to know what you want to do there, to know interesting places and restaurants, shops to buy souvenirs etc.Where did I go in Japan? I like Anime, one of my favorite Anime is Naruto. If you follow his journey, you can see the process on how he started off as an unlikable child until he became a leader in his village. Many leadership lessons in this series. So surely, I visited many places related to this one. Mostly around Tokyo and Tochigi. If you like Anime too, I suggest going to J-World Tokyo, Fujiko. F. Fujio Museum and Akibahara. 

B. Cheap Accommodation. Using Airbnb is the Last Options. Japan is one of the world's most costly living countries, especially if you are from South East Asia, where you are accustomed to enjoying many items at affordable prices. The price differences are real in Japan. What about accommodation there?Unless you are in Japan with your family who needs a proper hotel, there are options where you don't have to spend much money on your accommodation. If you are a single/group backpacker plan to move around in each city. I recommend using the capsule hotel around. That will cost around 2,500 – 3,500 Yen. Reasonably priced compared to regular hotels where it will usually cost you over 5,000 Yen. While using Airbnb will cost you above 4,000 Yen. I stay in Asakusa for a few days, and I think this is a strategic place. Many stores sell thousands of beautiful souvenirs at affordable prices, you can also visit beautiful Sen-Soji temple nearby. And there is a direct train to Narita Airport too! If you want, there is one çrazy option which I did many times. To stay at Manga Cafe/Internet Cafe. This is a 24-hour internet café designed for people who want to use the internet for many hours. There is a shower room there, a free drink that can be taken many times (with many options) and blankets. The room is quite small, about 2x2 meters, with a soft mattress/sofa in it. You can lock the room from the inside too!I am not saying that this is an appropriate place to stay, but what do you expect from cheap accommodation where actually you just need to refresh your mind and body for a while, put your kinds of stuff, then sleep at night and go in the morning? I got this tips from one the article that I’ve read, and I only paid about 1,400 – 1,800 Yen per 8 hours. You can save a lot of money which you can use it later for buying other items that could be expensive. But take note, I am not suggesting this to women! Please do not take this advice. It's risky! 

C. Food.For non-Halal food consumers, culinary in Japan is one of the best. Remember to try the real sushi and soba! But for a Moslem, finding halal food isn’t easy in Japan. Although there are several certified halal restaurants in there, but not at every location. Sometimes I buy a bread and milk only, and if it is too difficult I will eat something halal from 7/11 or any other convenient store nearby.The lessons are to prepare a lot of food that you can consume. If possible, bring it from your country. If you visit Japan during spring/summer, you'll be easily thirsty. So bring a Tupperware too! You can refill the water later. I am lucky because I carried a lot of mineral water from the conference haha.

D. Buying Souvenirs. You Can't Negotiate Easily in Japan. Observe and Compare the Price First! I study International Business in the campus, negotiation is one of the topics that I've applied daily. But in Japan, I've tried it many times, I succeed very few. Seriously. Like almost more than 15 times. Negotiate with Japanese isn’t easy hahaha. I've traveled to Tokyo, Shinjuku, Shibuya, Harajuku, Ikebukuro and I've compared prices between each city. So if you buy souvenirs in Japan, I recommend buying them in Asakusa. It offers many options at affordable prices. From typical Japanese traditional souvenirs to Anime! It's an awesome place. And of course, always understand your priorities. There are thousands of gorgeous souvenirs, you must fully control your decision. Be careful with the discount offered. 

E. Transportation. Between Taxis, Trains, Buses, etc Which One is Effective? I recommend using trains and buses. It's cheap and always on time (things I really like from Japan!). Also to save your time on buying tickets, you can buy a card called Pasmo. This is a card that you can use as payment for trains and buses. You can re-load it back on the machine. How about a Taxi? It's very expensive. I've tried this for an experiment, it costs 1000 Yen for a distance of 12 minutes! Geez. Better to use Uber, also available in Japan. I don't know about this in other countries, but in Indonesia, you can buy JR Pass where you can use this as a train payment. You can buy this one only in your original country.  For about $250, you get a pass that will allow you to access any JR line in the country for seven days, including several different shinkansen (high-speed) trains. If you want to try a unique transportation in Japan, there is a human train called Jinrikisha. It originally denotes a two or three-wheeled passenger car, now known as a pulled rickshaw, generally pulled by one man carrying one passenger. It’s interesting. 

F. Culture. Learn How to Behave in Japan, & Learn the Basic Language as well! You cannot cut a long line or queue even if you are in an urgent situation. If most of the South East Asia countries, we eat something by mixing soy sauce and rice, it's not a good attitude in Japan. Correct manners are very important among the Japanese. As a foreigner in Japan, you should be familiar with at least the most basic rules. Otherwise, many Japanese will be uncomfortable with you due to cultural misunderstanding. I've done research on this, and this article is really helping me. https://www.youcouldtravel.com/trav...Also, understand basic Japanese will be really useful. Apart from normal word such as, Arigatou Gozaimasu/Thank you, or Sumimasen/Excuse me.  Understanding another sentences where you can receive new information is important. You can begin by saying: - Eigo o hanashimasu ka? / Do you speak English? - Or the simple one, like  ‘’____ wa doko desu ka?’’ / Where is ____  ?’’ I often speaking in Japanese in train stations, so that I will avoid choosing the wrong line.  Common phrase that I often use such as: - Kono densha wa ___  ni tomari masu ka? / Does this train stop at ____ ? - Moyori no eki wa doko desu ka? / Where is the nearest train station?   - Shuuden wa nan-ji desu ka?  / What time is the last train? If you confuse which sentences that can be used, prepare an internet connection always. Google translate is usefull. Save your data and don’t waste it for uploading too many photos! Overall, no worries. There are places where people are more likely to be good English speakers—train stations, airports, and major tourist attractions especially. Try to save your questions for those places.

In my opinion, Japan is a wonderful country. There are several lessons that I’ve learnt from the conference or from daily cultures by the Japanese. From what I observed in the last 2 weeks staying in there on seeing Japanese having an organize life, building a proper culture (way of life) since the beginning is important in organizing something. Personally, in a family or in a company. Everyone can lead someone else by becoming an example. That is why maintaining good habit start from ourselves is crucial, as it may influence other people. I hope this tips can be beneficial for you!