#goodnight tumblr.

[lovecatsys]

wait fuck I just realized that. the great british bakeoff is called that not implying great as an adjective but. as in Great Britain. and thats why theres ppl from scotland and ireland on there.

[shopwitchvamp]

[chaotically-coz]

heavy vent

crying.

sobbing.

I cant-

i cant do this everyday.

this isn't healthy.

i cant..

i cant listen to her screaming

her emotions,

i cant keep up- she switches up so fast.

i cant.

im so exhausted.

im so tired.

i don't know how to put this into words.. its so unbearable.

i just cant.

im helpless

ive always been.

this isn't fair.

...

you know, after you hate yourself for so long.. sometimes you start to find a reason.

after so many years of hating myself.

thinking its my fault.

taking it out on myself.

starving myself.

cutting myself.

bruising myself.

choking myself.

suffocating myself.

scratching myself.

hitting myself.

slapping myself.

gripping at fresh cuts despite the pain, thinking I deserve it.

ripping at my skin,

or banging my head against a wall until my ears rang.

ive began to realize

its not my fault...

its HERS.

HER FAULT

HER FAULT

ITS ALL HER FAULT.

YOU DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD WHILE GREIVING.

YOU COULDNT BEAR YOUR OWN EMOTIONS.

YOU CANT HANDLE YOURSELF.

YOU SICK

SICK

SICK

SICK

SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK PERSON.

YOU CHILD ABUSER.

AND THEN I FIND MEMORIES.

MEMORIES OF YOU, BEING KIND.

AND FUN.

AND CARING.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MEMORIES DROWN THOSE ONES OUT??

MEMORIES OF CRYING IN MY BEDROOM WHILE YOU GOT TAKEN AWAY IN HANDCUFFS.

MEMORIES OF RUNNING UP THE STAIRS IN FEAR, RUNNING AWAY BECAUSE YOU GOT A LITTLE TOO VIOLENT.

MEMORIES OF YOU "Doing my hair" WHILE I SCREAMED AND CRIED, BEING TOLD TO "suck it up" AND "stop being hysterical" WHILE YOU RIPPED AT MY HAIR.

MEMORIES OF UNCONTROLLABLE SHAKING, TRYING TO CALM MYSELF

MEMORIES OF CONSISTENT MELTDOWNS, ONLY TO GET YELLED AT.

MEMORIES OF CRYING BECAUSE I SIMPLY WANTED YOUR ATTENTION.

SO MANY MEMORIES...

SHATTERING MY BROTHERS THINGS

OR BREAKING HIS DOOR DOWN TO GET TO HIM. SEVERAL TIMES.

OR GETTING SCREAMED AT AND REBUKED FOR SPEAKING OUT.

SEEING YOU HURT MY DAD

SEEING YOU YELL AT HIM FOR NOTHING.

TAKING OUT YOUR ANGER.

YOU CHILD ABUSER.

YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN.

YOU YELL AT US

YOU SCREAM AT US

YOU THROW THINGS

YOU BREAK THINGS

YOU SLAP US.

YOU HIT US.

YOU HURT US.

I cant...

i cant do this..

i want to kill myself. to end it all. to end this nightmare I live through every day.

to stay in this reality.. this fake reality. this reality where I'm exactly who I wanna be. Where I have control.

but I'm not there...

i cant die... I wont let myself die.

i just... I want too.

i wanna end it so bad...

i cant.

but this HATE.

THIS BURNING HATE.

THIS HATE FUELING A FIRE,

A FIRE THAT BURNS BRIGHTER EVERYDAY.

I HATE TODAY.

I HATE TOMMOROW.

AND I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA HATE EVERYDAY AFTER THAT.

AND I DONT KNOW WHY, BUT I HATE MYSELF!

BUT I CANT HATE YOU.

I JUST. CANT.

AND I HATE THE FACT THAT I CANT HATE YOU.

i don't hate you...

i wont hate you...

i love you.

so much.

i just wanna feel loved back..

please.

stop.

just stop.

please...

I need validation..

i need peace.. I need silence...

You have a daughter..

please.

this hurts.

this rage.. it doesn't last long.

its always there, but sometimes I'm so mad..

then the next minute I don't even care.

and I hate that.

I hate that I cant stay mad at you.

i just.. cant.

i cant find it in my heart to hate anybody.

i wanna be held, comforted.

i want everything to be alright, I want to be calm, and happy.

content.

stable.

I want to be okay.

...

goodnight.

[tinystepsforward]

Matt Mullenweg is now sexually harassing Avery on Twitter for posting a selfie and the caption “too hot for tumblr”

what the actual fuck is he doing. where those were sw accounts this is not just completely inappropriate harassment but potentially outing. so fucking far beyond what he was already doing to follow her there.

also noting that he's changed his focus since nobody thought the screenshot of the threat was valid (and i have had multiple ex-staff confirm that it's not against tos, btw). this kind of info should never be dug up and put out there by a ceo having a tantrum, christ alive

[trans-estinien]

oh wild tumblr has a max tags limit

[riocinn]

those were the lyrics right

[meo-eiru]

"Darling come on it's time for bed❤️"

[hiekka]

he would be so mortified to realize. or weirdly stoic but I think genuinely mortified is more likely

[iliothermia]

גם זה יעבור

This too shall pass. Bad times. Good times. Through it all we'll keep going.

[lochlot]

morgwen study

[xgermankittycatx--commsopen]

eye to eye... kinda

(rough render :])

[paullobennett]

Eu fui a pessoa que mostrou que ele podia ser amado de verdade, e ele foi a pessoa que me mostrou que eu precisava me amar de verdade.

- BENNETT

[neosatsuma]

[spoopieere]

HAPPY MADNESS DAY 2024!!

"#1 Fan (No contest/Not insane/totally autistic" Kinda an off-themed post regarding my blog's vibe of Tumblr, BUT, Madness Combat holds a special place in my heart and I WILL draw for it every year. Have a good one folks <3

NG link :here

[hektor-world]

Good night

[will-bonna]

another background practise but this time not exactly rain world