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dudeitiskarev · 1 month

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Maybe Someday | Ch. 9

A Spencer Reid mini-series

Pairing: Spencer Reid x female reader

Chapter summary: The result of reader and Spencer's love is the start of a lifetime together.

Word count: 3k

Tags/warnings: unplanned pregnancy; pregnancy symptoms; doctor's appointments; talks of HIV+; suggestive content; mentions of suicide.

Author’s note: Okay I lied. This is the last chapter and decided to merge it with the epilogue because I'm so indecisive and this is just better. There's a big time jump here. I'd like to leave what happens between last chapter and this one to your imagination. Mostly because reader and Spencer stopped being stupid and although reader still has her struggles with attachment and self-sabotage and all that, it's not something worth writing to me. Like I've said, this is a light-hearted story and all about the vibes <3 so I hope that's okay! I still plan on writing blurbs about cut scenes! I hope you enjoy this one!!!!! more comments at the end of your read.

Ps: this is for Lara and her baby fever <333

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | SPENCER MASTERLIST

Spencer Reid was in love and the entire world knew about it.

In any conversation, at any given chance, he brought you up. The team hadn’t met you yet and Penelope kept saying he just wanted to keep you all to himself. Which wasn’t entirely a lie. He wasn’t rushed to introduce you to them, and the right moment to do it hadn’t come up yet.

Plus, you’d been busy with your new position at the cafe as manager, so seeing you walking through the glass doors of the bullpen on a random morning was a surprise.

Spencer rose from his desk as soon as he saw you and at the same time, the security guard who was with you gestured with his head in Spencer’s direction.

You almost ran to each other.

“What’s wrong?” was the first thing he asked when you met halfway.

You played with the string of the visitor credential around your neck. You looked terrified.

“Is there somewhere private we could talk?”

“Oh.” Penelope’s voice came out of nowhere, like an entity who had floated next to Spencer. “Oh, it can’t be.” Her eyes darted from you and Spencer and her smile grew wide and wider. “Is this… is she… are you…”

“Spencer’s girlfriend?” You smiled at her, and the terror in your eyes faded a bit thanks to Gracia’s presence.

“Oh my goodness!” Penelope went to hug you right away as if you’d turned into her closest friend just by saying that. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

You hugged her back while widening your eyes at Spencer propping your chin over Garcia’s shoulder.

“Nice meeting you too.” You matched her enthusiasm. “I just came for a quick surprise visit.” You let go of the hug but kept holding Garcia’s hand for a moment. “You must be Penelope.”

“He talks abo— You talk about me?” Garcia widened her eyes at Spencer.

“I talk to her about everyone.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips while nodding.

He talked to you about his team all the time, and the word he often used to describe Gracia was bright. Whether it was about her personality or outfits.

“What gave me away?” Penelope asked you excitedly.

“Uh…” you hesitated.

“BAU team.” Hotch’s voice got everyone’s attention. He was just arriving. “Let’s meet at the round table in twenty.” He walked past you two and directed a gentle nod at you.

“That must be Hotch,” you said.

“She’s good.” Garcia looked at Spencer then at you. “You’re good.”

Garcia had to excuse herself, not without saying, “It was so lovely to meet you,” while waving you goodbye.

Now it was just you and Spencer again.

“Bad timing?” You winced, taking a step closer.

Spencer leaned and kissed the corner of your mouth. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“We have twenty minutes.”He took your hand and guided you out of the bullpen before anyone else saw you.

“Where are we going?” You hurried your steps to keep up with his long legs.

He didn’t respond and kept walking until you reached a stairwell.

“This might be the only place where we could have some privacy.” He shut the door. He chose a blind spot just in case Garcia decided to watch him through the surveillance cameras. “Is everything okay?”

You gulped and started playing with the string around your neck again.

“I’d been feeling very sick these past few days,” you began. “And I didn’t mention it to you because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Thought it was something I ate.”

“Okay.” He paid special attention. You were anxious.

“But my period was supposed to come last week.”

Oh.

“And it hasn’t yet.”

Oh.

“I have an irregular period so I didn’t think much of it. I let the thought go.” You shrugged. “But today at work the smell of steamed milk made me run to the bathroom. I puked everything.”

Oh, shit.

“So I bought some tests.” You snuck your hand inside your purse and showed him not one, but three pregnancy tests inside a Ziploc bag.

All of them were positive.

Very positive.

A smile bloomed wide on his lips.

“Spencer.” You placed your palm on his cheek to get him to look at you. “The condom must’ve broken. You need to get tested.”

Only then it hit him why you were so worried.

He’d taught you all about the chances and percentages about your disease, so you already knew it was only a 0.1% chance that he’d gotten transmitted.

“I got tested two weeks ago and it was negative,” he commented right away. He has had periodical tests since the first time you two had sex.

“I know, but we don’t have sex every two weeks.” You kind of laughed. “We don’t know when this happened.”

Spencer sighed and brought you close into a hug, kissing your temple. For some reason, getting tested was the least of his worries.

You were pregnant.

A baby.

His baby.

“I’ll get tested again first thing tomorrow, don’t worry.”

You nuzzled your face onto his chest and breathed him in. “Spencer? What does this mean?”

He pulled away and scanned your face. You were the most beautiful creature. The kindest, funniest and strongest person he’d ever known. He wanted to have a family with you. He wanted a lifetime and to grow old with you.

It wasn’t a thing to celebrate yet. Spencer understood if you still had doubts about it.

Still, there was a box of pizza in front of you and two cans of coca-cola. Which happened to be the food you two liked to eat when something to celebrate happened.

“So?” He asked you, leaning forward to take a sip of his drink.

You sat cross-legged on the couch and reached for a slice. “We’ve talked about this a few times.” You took a bite and stared at him as you chewed.

He liked the way you ate. “We even have a list of names.” He smiled. That list was somewhere in his drawer.

“If you’re all in, I’m all in.” You placed your empty hand over his thigh and squeezed. “I love you. And I know we’re meant to grow old together.”

“I know.” He enveloped your hand with his. “I love you, too.”

“I can already picture you being a dad.” You put your half-eaten slice back on the box and jumped on his lap, circling his nose with yours.

He leaned just enough to kiss you. “Pizza kisses.”

“Our favorite.” You kissed him back.

Then he kissed you again. And again.

“Don’t kiss me like that,” you squealed between a high-pitched laugh.

“Like what?” He moved his kisses to your jaw.

“I’m very hormonal I—” you gasped at the way he nibbled your skin between more kisses.

Spencer snuck one hand under your shirt and pulled you closer by your waist.

“It’s making me want to jump your bones right here,” you whimpered, tangling your fingers at the back of his head.

“That’s good because we left some condoms under the couch last time we had sex here in case something like this—” he went back to kiss you, this time it was an open mouth kiss. “—happened.”

It was inevitable making love that night right there on the couch with a bunch of I love you’s floating around the apartment.

The night before the truth.

At seven am the next day he was getting his blood work done and by nine, you were at the gynecologist.

“This is going to feel a little cold,” the doctor warned as he applied gel on your belly.

Spencer held your hand, and despite not knowing the results about his test yet, hope was all he could feel.

“There’s your baby.” The doctor froze the picture and pointed at a dark spot. “Oh, wait, sorry.”

You two looked at each other with confusion. Then Spencer looked at the screen again. There were two dark spots.

“There’s two of ‘em,” Spencer said just above a whisper.

Your eyes widened and you let out a small laugh. “You’re kidding.” Then you looked at the doctor. “He’s kidding, right?”

“There’s two babies.” The doctor turned the screen all the way so you could take a better look. “Are you on clomid by any chance?”

“Clo—? What?” You put your hands over your cheeks in horror, almost. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a medicine,” Spencer gulped, scrunching up his nose. “Helps with infertility and can cause multiple pregnancies. No, she’s not on clomid.”

“Oh, no. No medicines. I’m HIV positive, that should be in my chart, so this wasn’t supposed to happen,” you told the doctor.

“It is on your chart. I was just asking. Do you get tested regularly?” the doctor asked Spencer.

“Yeah, every three weeks.”

“And the last time you got checked?”

“Two weeks ago, then again today.”

“Babies are about 8 weeks old so, you should be clean.”

Spencer got closer to you and pressed his lips together, trying to hold back some tears.

“It’s still too soon to know the sex but we do know they’re about the size of cherries.” The doctor continued moving the transducer over your belly. “Would you like to hear the heartbeats?”

“Already?” Your eyes widened. “Oh, this is so much information. This is— this is a lot.”

Spencer reached for your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “It’s okay.”

The doctor localized one baby first and soft little thuds started to fill the room. “There’s baby A’s heartbeat.”

Spencer never peeled his lips off your hand while staring at the screen. There were 110 heartbeats per minute on baby A.

“And there’s baby B’s heartbeat.”

106 heartbeats per minute.

Nothing he’d ever experienced compared to this feeling. Hearing heartbeats of two little people you and him had made from scratch and with so much love… He was about to burst out of his skin of pure bliss.

A soft sob came out of his chest. “Oh, wow.” He laughed through a sniffle. “I’m really crying.”

You let go of his hand and cradled his face, brushing your thumb over his fresh tears. “We’re having two.” You laughed.

Spencer nodded, closing his eyes. “We’re having two.”

Hotch said the guilt of being away while you were at home, pregnant, wouldn’t go away with time, but advised Spencer that phone calls helped a bit.

So ever since Spencer told the team he was going to be a dad, Hotch instructed Garcia to book Spencer a single room every time they had to spend the night in another city so he could be on the phone all night if he had to.

“How did you do it?” Spencer asked him on their way to the hotel.

“I didn’t.” Hotch raised his brows as he spoke. “I didn’t try harder. I didn’t… prioritize.” He gripped the wheel and gave Spencer a quick glance before focusing back on the road. “So I’m not the best example, Reid. You can take off all the time you need to be with your girls. You should.”

It wasn’t often that Reid thought he had something in common with Hotch. But right now he did, and even though Hotch beat himself up and didn’t think of himself as a good parent, Reid knew he was. He was an example and he was his go-to person to go for advice—along with JJ, of course.

Spencer made it to his room, and as soon as he was inside, he called you.

“How are your headaches?” He sat on the edge of the bed, toed off his shoes and fell back, staring at the ceiling.

“Not too bad today. I felt a little dizzy at lunch but Steve was here. And Inez is coming later. She insisted I need more foot massages.”

He missed you and somehow hearing you were with other people made him miss you even more.

You, Charli and Marla.

“How was your day? are you tired? you sound tired.”

“Not really, no,” he responded. “I just thought about you guys all day. I was distracted.”

“Dr. Reid, that is very unlike you,” you teased him. “We’re okay. You don’t have to worry about us when you’re away.”

“I know but still. It’s hard not to. Especially now that you’re in your third trimester. You can barely move and with twins… it can be any minute now.”

“But this is your last case before your parental leave starts. I know the girls won't come out until you spend all day at home.”

“I know.” Spencer sighed deeply. “Have they kicked today?”

“Charli. Like crazy. You know how she is.” You groaned. “Marla had the hiccups not long ago.”

“Is Charli kicking right now?”

“Mmhm.” You groaned again and heard you adjusting wherever you were laying down. Either the bed or couch. “Yep, oh, oh, keep talking. I think she stopped kicking.”

Spencer had made it a habit reading you to bed, even before you were pregnant. That’s how you two discovered how Charli—the most restless—calmed down when she heard her dad’s voice.

Now, even on the phone, he kept reading you one of his favorite books as a kid—Alice in wonderland—or rather, recited it to you since he knew word-for-word.

He got ready for bed with you still on the other line, and once he was settled under the covers, he asked. “In which chapter were we?”

He heard the rifling of pages on the other line. You had the book with you already.

“Chapter seven: A mad tea-party.”

“From the beginning?” He cleared his throat.

“Yes, please.”

“Spence, do you have a sec?” JJ walked up to Spencer with a strange look.

“Hey, yeah, is something wrong?” He immediately mirrored her expression.

“I need to give you this before go on parental leave.” She handed him a worn envelope with your name handwritten on the outside. “It’s Curtis’ letter.”

“When did you get it back?” He frowned.

“I got the call when we were landing and was on my desk when we arrived.”

“Just one?”

“It’s always been one.” The corner of her lips twitched into a small smile. “They thought they were different ones because of how many pages there were. But it’s just one. For her.”

“Thanks, JJ.”

“Now go take care of her.” She gave him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

“Wait, JJ. I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Spence—”

“She’s six months pregnant,” his tone rose. “With twins. And the letter might cause some stress. She could go into labor.”

“Don’t freak out. It will definitely make her feel stressed, but I know it will also heal her.” She played with her heart necklace. “I’d do anything to have a letter from my sister before she…”

Just at that moment he remembered. You and JJ had the same experience. A dead sibling by suicide.

“This is a blessing, so don’t hide this from her. Don’t… wait, okay?”

Spencer sat back at his desk and stared at the envelope. It was thick, as if Curtis had written an entire novel. There was a tiny heart next to your name, which could only mean there were good things inside.

He rushed home and as soon as he got there, he was greeted by a sweet Hi, honey. You were knitting, a hobby you’d picked up since you started your maternity leave.

“Hi.” He walked to you and leaned to kiss you. “How’s the sweater going?”

“I’m almost done.” You showed him your progress. It was a tiny beige sweater.

Spencer dragged the armchair next to you and sat down.

“Something’s up with you.” You snickered.

“I… have something for you.”

You put down your knitting and looked at him with gleaming eyes. “What is it?”

He was still scared but took out the letter from his messenger bag anyway. “This is your brother’s letter.”

He swore your soul left your body.

You sat up right and blinked a few times. “What? Just one?”

“It’s always been one.”

You started laughing. A laugh that quickly turned into a soft cry.

“Okay.” You blew out a harsh breath and wiped some tears with the heel of your hands. “Since you mentioned he’d left letters I wondered if he’d left one for me I— I don’t know if I’m ready.” You placed your hand over your belly, blowing out another breath. You’d been getting out of breath so easily lately.

“You don’t have to read it right now.” He placed his hand over yours. “You can read it whenever you want. It’s yours.”

He handed you the envelope.

“I—” you took a sharp breath and your mouth twitched as you tried to smile. “This is the closest thing I’ll ever have of him. The answer I needed from the moment he left me is there. I just… I need a moment. I need to miss him as the version of him before the letter I—” Tears sprang from your eyes and you hid your face on your palms. “Oh, god!”

Spencer was quick to hold you, like the very first time he saw you cry. This time it was different, though. Right now you were the love of his life, and he couldn’t help his tears. Your pain was flush against your skin all over again and it hurt him.

“I’ve always thought I’d healed, after all these years but… not knowing why he did what he did… left that wound open.”

“I know.” Spencer stroked your hair.

“Would you… read it to me?”

“If that’s what you want, of course, sweetheart.”

You nodded, then a little sob filled your chest.

He made sure you were comfortable before reading it. He prepared you a cup of tea, got a box of tissues, placed your blanket over your lap, and sat next to you.

He gave you three soft pecks on your lips. “You ready?”

You snuggled up next to him, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Ready.”

Spencer took a breath, cleared his voice, and opened the envelope, ready to help you heal.

“To whoever ends up reading this letter (because I know she won’t), I have a few things to say…”

THE END

Yayyyyyyyyyy

That's it!!! Thank you so much to every single person that took their time to leave a comment on this story. This was supposed to be a long one shot but I was so excited to share it that I had to split it and I'm glad I did. I still will post the fic as a big ass one shot in case anyone wants to read it or reread it in one go.

This may not be the most intricate and detailed story but made me very happy while I wrote it.

thank you again for reading!!!

much love.

PS: I have a spencer reid one shot in the works so this story is just the beginning of my Spencer girl era

#Spencer Reid #spencer reid self insert #Spencer Reid x female reader #Spencer Reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction

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