#good. good. now let dave and melissa appear in the story again

[trash-and-only-mha-trash]

she got a picture with all might AND dave, good for her <3

[whoisglory]

Top 5 Favorite Female MHA characters

Number 5

Nejire Hadou

She is definitely one of my favorite female characters, all though she is quite new to me, i always adored her quirk. I loved her appearance in the manga and I’m looking forward to seeing her kick ass in the new season! I really like her design, especially her eyes. Her quirk is really cool and would definitely be in my top 5 if i could choose my own quirk. I have a small headcannon which is probably cannon actually but it’s not confirmed yet, I think that due to Nejire’s outgoing and bubbly personality as well as her good looks and strong quirk made her very popular among the boys and heroes alike! She was during her first and second year ahead of mirio and tamaki but they soon caught up with her making them the big three. I really hope to see more of her but let’s move on to

Number 4

Ibara Shiozaki

What can i say except i love her, when i was still an anime only i liked seeing her already, I thought she was pretty and her quirk looked really strong and useful! She appeared to be kind and gentle, unlike monoma she wasn’t vengeful towards 1A and had a true ideology a hero should have. No wonder kaminari would like to ask her out! But when she absolutely destroyed kaminari in their battle i knew that i found love.

I would say, but that’s not completely true. I liked her character but I appreciated her when i met @thatawkwardotaku. Now bare with me here, we did a roleplay. I like doing those because I practice my english and i get more in character with the characters i play, and i also get ideas for stories! I tried out ibara for the first time when i met her. I had a really fun time doing the roleplay and mailla even said i was good at Roleplaying her. So that day i was just “IM SOLD” and loved her, she did go down a few ranks but i hold her close in my heart

Number 3

Itsuka Kendo

Okay so, before you continue reading. Look at her, look at her eyes. Look at her ponytail. Are you finished looking at her? Good, so why has everyone been sleeping on kendo instead of sleeping on their bed? Look at the grace, the strength, the beauty, the tomboy. It is Itsuka Kendo! I really like her personality, I would say that her personality matches with mine a bit because well, all my friends are complete idiots and i am quick to take on a motherly role when I’m near them. I love those idiots. Kendo is the big sis of 1B and arguably has more idiots to deal with and i love her. She’s a friend everyone deserves to have

Back to her design! I love the tomboy aesthetic, she’s energetic and not a pretty girl. She’s beauty but also a tough tomboy, she actually has my favorite hero costume. I love the qipao and when I designed my own character i gave her a qipao as well. I’ll soon show her and the art people drew for my oc!

Number 2

Melissa Shield

This was a really close call, Itsuka kendo or Melissa Shield. I know that she was only in the movie and I’d be lucky if we would ever get to hear her name again but shut up i can dream. Melissa is a foreigner in the world of mha, usually when i talk to my friends I’m the foreigner, i also look quite a lot like her (i wish i was as pretty as her) but personality wise I really like her. Ever since i started watching mha i loved thinking about making characters their strongest possible self. Whether this be through support items or through gaining an extra quirk or quirk evolution. This is how i started getting into support items. I studied a lot of support items and I absolutely loved seeing the costume upgrades and i could only imagine what i would do! I like her kind and caring nature, all though a bit oblivious and maybe a bit overly kind i can relate to her nerdy and geeky side. But overall she’s another reason to show that anyone can be a hero

Headcannon time

bigger headcannon, during the My Hero Academia two heroes movie we never got to see Melissa’s mother. She only made one appearance on the pictures Melissa has in her work shop, when Melissa was born and on her wedding with dave. Not on anything else. We didn’t see her on the Halloween one with her father. It was constantly either all might or dave, so I think that after Melissa was born she died, usually mother’s stay to raise their child. And i think it’s safe to assume that dave is quite rich I don’t think she’d be working abroad. And i would expect to see at least one picture of her for her daughter to remember her by. Imagine her living a life with deku’s father, the i hate being there for the majority of my kids life so that the parental figure can be replaced by all might club. But countering my own theory, she wasn’t mentioned or used as a motivation. Melissa might have said something like “Dad what would mom think if she saw you now!” Aside from that Melissa appeared to be a happy and lucky child but maybe she was too young to grasp the concept of death.

Honorable Mentions

Kyoka Jirou

Fun fact, i love music. I love singing and trying out new instruments. So I really liked jirous character. Cool and music loving, funny and sarcastic and a bit of a prankster. Even though she was never a main main character she did play some crucial roles in character development of characters. Like saving kaminari during the USJ attack, helping Koda with his fear of bugs. She was one of the main reasons eri smiled again and she truly helped momo out of her shell! There more to her then just her cold persona and small chest.

Mei Hatsume

Back to my love for support, I really like this insane, crazy scientist. She’s amazing just amazing. I also relate to her crazy and weird side because i am a little weird. When I’m around my friends i can drop some weird ass shit in the conversation randomly, but if i do that you can expect that I really took a liking into you!

I love this noodle hair and you can expect seeing her in the future again becoming one of midoriya&co most important allies.

Number 1

Momo Yaoyorozu

Holy moly, an actual 1A character that’s important to the story and not some side character from 1B? Yes i know this may sound impossible but yes. I can actually like main characters that are important to the story!

Momo, my angel i came a long way with you. Ever since i started watching MHA i liked her character, she was so kind and caring on the inside. She appeared so cold and like many other cold rich know it all characters. Yet she wasn’t, she was a true friend that loves helping out others. A hero when she wasn’t in her costume and a hero in her costume.

She’s constantly worrying about others, as well as helping them succeed. With her on your team you almost have an assured win. Her intelligence and versatile quirk will always get you out of a tight spot. I really, really hope her character gets the justice it deserves

Thank you for listening to this stupid rant post thing!

[professor-spacecakes]

*pulls up a chair and sits in it backwards*

Aight kids, let’s rap a little about David Shield. I’ve heard some quiet mumblings about DaveMight (or MightyShield, or ShieldMight or ToShield or whatever other names for this ship there are) and I’d like to help clear things up if I may. So, the complaints seem to stem from Dave being married and that some members of the fandom are dismissing the unnamed Mrs. Shield in order to ship him with All Might.

Here’s the thing though… What if I told you he doesn’t currently have a wife in canon?

“But Doc!” one might exclaim, “He’s wearing a wedding ring and we literally see his wedding pictures in the movie!”

To which I say, “fair point, but that’s only half of the story.”

If we look at Dave’s concept art, we’ll find this little note here about his wedding ring.

Now, I will preface this by saying that I am still very much a beginner in Japanese, and Japanese handwriting is notoriously hard to read, so I encourage those with more experience translating the language to please correct me if I’m wrong. However, I’m fairly confident that I was able to discern this accurately.

What I was able to get from the note here on the side is this:

奥さんの行＿が描かれていない（ですよね？）ので勝手た死別か

何かかと思いもした離婚されてるようなら指輪なして

Now, I’m nowhere near far along in my studies to be able to read this on my own (not to mention we just couldn’t figure out one of the kanji because of the handwriting) so with the help of my good friend @rin-go-san and after consulting someone far more versed in the language than I, we came up with this very rough translation:

“The wife’s __ isn’t drawn (isn’t it?) because of a self-indulgent bereavement? I thought that it would look like he’s divorced if he had no ring.”

Again, if you’re more experienced with the language and think I got it wrong, please (politely) let me know, because I strive for accuracy above all else, even my own preferences.

That being said, the rest of this post will be made with the assumption that this translation is correct.

So, what this reads like to me at the very least is that Horikoshi never bothered to draw the wife because she died, but he uses some cheeky language here. (で勝手た死別か also seems to translate to something along the likes of “the selfish death” I think, so possibly a hint at suicide? Unless that’s a colloquialism I’m unaware of.) In any case, he didn’t want it to look like David was divorced, so he had him still wearing his wedding band even though his wife has been dead for some time.

Knowing this, we can look at the pictures in Melissa’s room and get a pretty good idea of when that might have happened.

Luckily for us, by the power granted to us by convenient narrative devices, these pictures are set up pretty much in chronological order from right to left. We see that the last picture the wife appeared in was when Melissa was born. The very next picture shows Dave holding a very young Melissa (perhaps 3 or 4) alone, a very clear signal that the wife wasn’t in the picture anymore, both literally and figuratively. Given that the only picture she has of herself with her mother is the one on the day she was born, it can reasonably be assumed that she died when Melissa was still a very small baby, perhaps shortly after she was born.

Now, there’s still the issue of Dave still wearing his ring. Horikoshi stated that he had him still wearing the ring to dispel any assumptions that he may be divorced rather than a widower, but that’s all the thought he gave to it. Craft whatever in-universe reason for it that you want, but you’re no more right or wrong than the next person, because the creator himself didn’t seem to care that much. The person we consulted about checking our transcription and translation also mentioned that the language used in the first part of this note seems to be taking a jab at the wife (citing the（ですよね？）portion, as well as the unique terminology just after that) though to what ends or what that means, I couldn’t say.

So yeah, that seems to be the canon state of Dave’s marriage from what I can tell. Please remember that, just because something is or isn’t canon, that doesn’t mean it invalidates your fanwork. That’s the whole point of creating fanart and fanfiction. It’s very possible for us all to get along without dragging another entire section of the fandom through the mud just because they see things a little differently. Want to create a world where Dave’s wife never died and they’re still happily married? Go for it. Wanna ship Dave with All Might (or anyone, really) and use the wife’s canon death to facilitate that? Have at it, Hoss. Wanna write/draw whatever other drama you want, canon be damned? You do you, boo. I just hate seeing people shit on fans of the same property for what is ultimately unimportant hypothetical reasons.

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

A Twist Of Fate ch.13 -Friday Night

The Elementalist AU

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words: 2814

Master List (Catch Up Here)

This AU is set after everyone graduates Penderghast, and Beckett and Oriana were never friends. Fate, however, may have a different plan for them.

  Friday. It was finally Friday and Beckett was buzzing with nerves. Tonight was his triple date. No, not a date. Just a gathering of friends. Introducing someone else into the fold. He’d barely gotten any work done, and he confirmed with Dave and Tom where they were meeting before heading home to get ready. When he arrived he ran straight up to his room.

I need to change. I need to look good. It’s our first date. Damn it, no, not a date.

Finally, he chose a light blue button down shirt that accentuated his steely eyes, and a pair of beige slacks. He styled his hair, and splashed his cologne on, then ventured out into the hallway.

“Ori?” He knocked on her door

“I’ll be out in a minute, Beck.”

He nodded, as if she could hear him, and went downstairs to wait for her. He paced around, feeling impatient. What is taking her so long?

About five minutes later he heard her footsteps on the stairs. He went to greet her as he normally did when he got home, but when he caught sight of her, his breath was taken away. She was wearing a golden dress, which flared out mid-thigh. The top was v-cut, giving just the slightest hint of her breasts, and it tied in a halter around her neck. Her arms were bare, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was glowing. All thoughts about this not being a date flew from his mind.

She grinned as she reached the bottom, and the sweet scent of her lavender and vanilla perfume permeated his nostrils. “My, my, is the great Beckett Harrington speechless?”

“Ori” He breathed. “You look gorgeous. Wow.”

She smiled and did a slight twirl to show off the remainder of the dress, which was cut low in the back, revealing even more of her silky skin.

Beckett was actually speechless. He always knew she was beautiful, but seeing her in this dress, knowing she wore it for him. It was blowing his mind.

“You look handsome yourself.” She murmured, stepping up to him and kissing him on the cheek. He blushed furiously at the gesture.

He cleared his throat and stepped over to the coat closet. “You’ll need this. It’s cold. And rainy.” He held her jacket out to her but to his surprise, she turned around and backed into his arm.

“A gentleman always puts the coat on his lady.”

“Uh…my lady? I don’t think you’re…I mean, we haven’t reached that…if that’s what you want…erm…” Blushing again, he gently helped her into the coat, running his hands down the sleeves, his breath shaky. He could feel her chuckling lightly. She turned to face him again and flipped her freshly curled hair out of the jacket and down her back.

“Your hair…it looks lighter.” He told her, admiring the golden streaks in it, unable to stop himself from touching the soft strands with his fingers.

She shrugged. “It’s easy to do.  I can do yours if you want.” She reached forward and ran her hand through his sandy hair. “Though I’m kinda partial to how you are right now.”

His jaw dropped, and this time she laughed heartily. “Honestly, Beck, you make this too easy.” She stepped around him now, opening the door. “You’re driving, right?”

He nodded vigorously, walking her to the passenger side of the vehicle and opening the door for her. She rose an eyebrow but said nothing. As he drove the short distance to the restaurant, she asked about his friends.

“So, what are they like? Do you work closely with them?”

“Dave is actually my mentor, he was the one who introduced me to everyone, got me set up in my office…he really just took me under his wing. Everyone there is exceptionally nice, it was very strange to me. Completely different than college. And Tom…I was getting coffee in the break room one day, and he just appeared and started going on and on about his wife and kids. I didn’t ask, he just opened his mouth and told me all about them. And he hasn’t shut up since. Even if I didn’t want to be friends with him, I don’t think he would ever let me not be friends with him.” Beckett laughed at the memory. “Best thing I’ve ever done is take that job. It changed my life.”

“I can tell.” She said softly. “You’re different than you seemed at first.”

“Is that a good thing?”

She smiled. “Definitely. Although…there is one flaw in your story.”

He glanced over at her, surprised. “What’s that?”

She placed her hand on his leg, giving it a slight squeeze, and batted her eyelashes. “I thought that taking me in was the best thing you’ve ever done.”

Beckett was so taken aback by the comment, that he accidentally yanked the steering wheel to the right, almost going off the road. He quickly corrected himself and was relieved to find that they had arrived at their destination. Oriana was laughing, and he glared at her.

“That’s not funny, Oriana, I could have killed us. You shouldn’t distract drivers like that.” He fumed as he pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car.

“I can honestly say I was not expecting your reaction to be so…intense. Geez, Beckett, lighten up.”

“I could have crashed!”

“But you didn’t! I know you would do anything in your power, which is a lot by the way, to make sure I don’t get hurt. I know that with every fiber of my being. Besides, do you expect me to believe you haven’t enchanted this car with some sort of protection? That’s practically witchcraft 101 with heavy machinery.”

Beckett opened his mouth again to argue, but instead let out a huge sigh. “Why do I lose every argument with you?”

“Because I’m always right.” She smirked.

He rolled his eyes. “Get out of the car.”

“You mean you’re not opening my door for me?” She said slyly

“No. I’m going inside before I get soaked.” He responded, opening his own door and stepping out into the rain. He ran up to the awning above the restaurant door, where he stopped and turned to wait for Oriana. However, she was only a step behind him and ran right into his arms.

“Woah!” He exclaimed, circling his arms around her.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t think you were actually going to wait for me.” They were standing close together, his arms still around her, faces only inches from each other.

“Guess you were wrong.” He murmured, tucking a piece of her damp hair behind her ear.

“There’s a first for everything” she responded breathily, her eyes searching his.

Beckett’s heart was pounding. This is it. I’m going to kiss her. I’m going to kiss Oriana Miller, and then I’m never going to stop. I think she already knows…I’ve always been hers.

He started closing the gap…when a voice rang out.

“Beckett! You actually made it!”

He jumped at the intrusion and quickly let Oriana go, cursing the person who called his name. “Tom! What timing you have. And what do you mean, I actually made it? I said I was going to, didn’t I?”

Ignoring his cool demeanor, Tom walked right up to them, holding hands with a woman. “You must be the lovely Oriana I’ve heard so much about.”

She gave him a surprised look. “You have?”

Tom grinned. “Oh, yes, absolutely. You were the first girl he ever mentioned, back at our first happy hour.”

“Wasn’t that months ago?”  She asked, sliding her eyes over to Beckett, who was giving Tom the death stare.

“Sure was…” He caught Beckett’s eye. “I mean, no. Just this past happy hour he mentioned you. After the happy hour, actually, because that’s when you…reconnected?”

“Right…” Oriana said, looking at him questioningly.

“My husband’s forgot his manners. I’m Jessie.” The woman next to Tom greeted warmly. “Beckett, it’s nice to see you again. And Oriana, it’s lovely to meet you.” She shook both their hands. “Let’s get inside, shall we?”

The four of them entered the building and gave the name to the hostess. She led them over to the table where Dave and his wife were already sitting. More introductions were made.

“Oriana, this is Dave, and his wife Melissa.” Beckett informed

“Hi, so nice to meet you.” Oriana smiled, and Beckett couldn’t help but notice how easy this seemed for her. She gets along so well with everybody. What made me different?

“So, have you heard a lot about me as well?” Oriana asked, her face giving nothing away.

“Oh, not much.” Dave responded. “Just that you went to college together and he recently gave you a place to stay for a bit.”

Oriana rose an eyebrow at him but turned and started to remove her jacket. Dave caught Beckett’s eye and winked.

“Oh my god, Dave.” His wife grabbed his arm. “Life goals. That dress. I need it, and I’m going to fit into it after this pregnancy.” She patted her belly, frowning.

“You’re beautiful, Mel. You don’t need any dress to prove it.” Dave told her affectionately.

“How far along are you?” Oriana asked her.

Melissa sighed. “Seven months. I’m due December 21st. It can’t come fast enough I swear.”

“Well Dave is right, you look beautiful.” Oriana told her.

“Oh Beckett, I like her. You should bring her out more often.” Melissa turned towards him now.

Beckett felt himself blush.

“Agreed. It’s nice to have a normal girl here.” Jessie told him.

His face flushed even more.

“Normal?” Oriana questioned.

“Oh yes. Tom told me about a couple girls Beckett had dated. They did not sound very nice at all. And he deserves someone nice.”

“Oh, uh…” Oriana stammered.

“We’re not dating. We’re just…friends. And roommates.” Beckett informed, still a shade of red.

Jessie frowned. “Oh, but Tom said…”

“Tom was wrong.” Beckett glared at his friend.

This is awful. I’m never going to stop blushing. It’s bad enough they brought up my exes, and now they’re talking about my wanting to date Oriana?? This is so embarrassing.

“He’s so cute when he blushes, isn’t he?” Oriana grinned at him. “He has literally always done that around me, and it’s so adorable.”

Beckett stared at her in surprise. “What? I never blushed. You’re confusing me with someone else.”

“Oh no, I’m definitely not wrong. You would blush any time I accidentally brushed by you. You claimed to hate me, yet always put yourself near me.”

His jaw dropped. “You…noticed that?”

“You’re hard not to notice.” She returned with a smirk.

“Well. This is quite enlightening, isn’t it, Beckett?” Tom chuckled

“I uh…” Beckett swallowed. “Erm…”

“See?” Oriana laughed. “50 shades of red.”

“Moving on.” Beckett said sternly.

I am so done with this conversation. Maybe we’ll come back to it later. When it’s just us.

Luckily, the waiter finally arrived, and the group placed their orders. Beckett was relieved that no one brought up his relationship with Oriana again, and the rest of conversations flowed smoothly. After finishing their meals, Melissa asked if anyone wanted to get dessert.

“Don’t mind me, these cravings are no joke. I need something sweet, stat.” Dave kissed her cheek again and agreed on dessert.

“Oh, I never pass up dessert.” Oriana informed. “Beckett? How about you? Do you ever pass up…dessert?”

His eyes widened as he felt her hand on his leg, a finger gently sliding up.

“Well?” She asked innocently.

He gulped, the tips of his ears turning pink.

“I…I suppose I could go for dessert.” He mumbled out, his eyelids involuntarily fluttering closed as she lightly skimmed her fingers back and forth on his thigh, and he could feel himself growing in his pants.

“You’re not falling asleep are you, Beckett? Are you already in a food coma?” Dave asked.

Beckett’s eyes flew back open and saw everyone staring at him. Oriana was no longer touching him and instead was perusing the dessert menu, acting like she’d had no effect on him.

“If he was sleeping I don’t think he’d be blushing…again.” Tom smirked.

“I’m sure he’s just dreaming of this chocolate mousse right here.” Oriana glanced up and flashed the table a dazzling smile. The other two couples decided on theirs and Oriana leaned in close to Beckett, her breasts pressed lightly against his arm. “That’s definitely what we should get, Beck.” She murmured quietly in his ear.

“Just one? There are two of us, don’t you think we should get two desserts?”

A wicked smile appeared back on her lips. “Who’s to say we don’t have more at home?” Now her leg was brushing on his, and his heart pounded furiously.

“What are you doing.” He whispered frantically.

“Just picking out dessert with you.” She winked and straightened back up in her chair as the waiter approached again.

A few minutes later, the desserts arrived…each couple sharing just one. Beckett groaned inwardly at the looks his friends were giving him. He knew they were dying of laughter inside, and probably realized that he just wanted to die of embarrassment. He’d only been telling them repeatedly all week that this wasn’t a date.

“These are huge!” Melissa squealed excitedly. “That’s why we always share. Even though I’m pregnant…well, I don’t want to gain 400 pounds as I eat something sweet every single night. So, I make him share with me.”

“Well it’s also just what couples do. Sometimes. I guess not all the time. But generally, when someone shares dessert it’s a couple.” Dave looked meaningfully at Beckett and Oriana, who was currently handing Beckett a spoon.

“Yes, it’s definitely a couple thing.” Tom chimed in, beginning to chuckle. Beckett didn’t miss Jessie elbowing him in the side, hard, and giving him a Look.

“That’s an interesting theory, Tom.” Oriana then turned her gaze back to Beckett. “What do you think? Do you usually share dessert with someone?”

“Well, Ori, considering I’ve been single, no. I do not normally share dessert with someone.” He shot out, feeling triumphant for all of five seconds before realizing he’d just proven everyone’s point. Beckett felt his face burning for about the millionth time that night alone.

She took a spoonful of the sinful mousse, not breaking eye contact. His eyes fell to her lips as she seductively licked off the remainder that had stuck to them. He leaned forward to speak quietly in her ear, as his friends resumed their own conversation.

“Do you even know what you’re doing to me, Oriana”

She turned her head to whisper in his. “What makes you think I don’t know?”

He groaned quietly, straightening his back as she rose another spoonful of mousse to her lips. After a quick glance around the table, he was relieved to find no one paying attention to them.

When it was finally time to leave, Beckett was actually sorry to have it end. Oriana was amazing, and it seemed everyone loved her. She was smiling brightly as everyone said their goodbyes.

“Oriana, it was such a pleasure to meet you. I’m so glad Beckett has you as a…friend.” Dave hugged her, followed by Melissa, Jessie, and Tom.

“I can see why Beck likes working with you. You guys are good for him. It’s true that taking this job was the best thing that ever happened to him.” She told them.

But Jessie shook her head. “No, I admit I don’t know him well, but Tom is very fond of him, so I’ve heard a lot about him, and I’m going to say that the job is not the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

Oh, no. I don’t like where this is going.

He was horrified by what she said next. “It’s quite clear that you are the best thing for him. I’m glad you’re here, Oriana. I do hope we see you again, soon.”

Oriana smiled politely and watched as everyone left. “I think they like me.” She said quietly.

“Are you really that surprised?” He asked, while helping her back into her jacket. She just shrugged.

“Ori? Seriously?”

She turned back to face him. “I didn’t know what to expect with them. I like them. They’re nice, and I can tell they genuinely care about you. I’m…I’m really glad things turned around for you after graduation.”

He noticed her eyes were starting to turn glassy, and when he reached for her, she pulled back. “I’ll see you outside, Beck.” She turned and fled out the door.

Beckett frowned. What the hell just happened? I thought she was happy tonight.

He grabbed his own jacket and ran after her. Once outside, he realized it was still pouring rain. He saw Oriana about halfway through the parking lot. His heart sank as he saw she was not alone. She was with Chase.

  @annekebbphotography @carabeth @gardeningourmet @eileendannie @alesana45 @thequeenofcronuts @drakewalkerfantasy @zigortega4life @friedherringclodthing

@emerald-bijou @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @divergentofhogwarts @rissah @syltti78 @damienswhore @askdana @giulia2372 @symonde @coffeebeandragon @flyawayboo @pbmychoices @wickedgypsymoon @kendrasgue @timmagicktoad @feartheendlesssummer @elainew13 @the-soot-sprite @endlessly-searching-for-you @nerdynstoned @brightpinkpeppercorn

[megbox]

2019 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

It’s actually kind of interesting how... less interesting these year-in-reviews get as I get older. Depending on how you look at it, 2019 was somewhat of an unremarkable year. I spent much of it tragically broke, I didn’t get the opportunity to do much traveling. But at the same time, not having these flashy, colourful experiences to write about all the time makes me value the easy, simple things more. It forces me to be a bit more reflective about how the day-to-day life I am carving out for myself teaches me things and about the person I am becoming. 

Far and away, the most positive thing to come out of 2019 has been that I am real deals social worker now. I have the best job in the entire world. I have “RSW” in my email signature and on my business cards. I do work that is meaningful to me every single day. There is so much to learn but I’m in the right place to be learning it. And I am really proud of myself for getting here ❤️

January 

Unlike the last few years, 2019 began on a high note. The millisecond that student loan hit my direct deposit, I took a little trip to Jasper to visit my friend Oliver who was teaching snowboarding at Marmot Basin for the season. I braved some very treacherous roads to make it to Jasper. It took me nearly eight hours. Highway 93 was closed so I had to take the long route and basically white-knuckled it the whole way. But it was so worth it. I found myself later that evening in a dorm room full of young Scandinavian people, downing American Vintage iced teas and feeling like I was at a frat party. We went to this club called Four Peaks and they played Rasputin by Boney M and everyone went crazy. I hooked up with this gorgeous Danish ski instructor named Rasmus. He was so beautiful. I am proud of that one, honestly. Oliver and I went skiing and hiking and we went to Earl’s and he tried a Caeser. By the end of the weekend, I think we maybe ran out of things to talk about. But it was really cool to see him and to hear about the last few years of his life and how excited he was to move to New Zealand to be with his girlfriend (whom he met on the same trip where he and I met, in Hawaii!)

On January 14, I started my second practicum. It was a sad transition. My time at CommunityWise had been so great that anything new was going to pale in comparison but my new placement was especially bad. It was so slow there. My computer hadn’t been updated in years and I didn’t have access to anything for weeks. My supervisor was barely around (not her fault, though. She was finishing her MSW, had two young children, was the team lead for both family centres in the city and had two practicum students to supervise. Girl was busy). I remember one morning while I was helping one of the caseworkers with some menial task like organizing the food pantry, and I was just so frustrated, I kind of asked her point-blank, “Is this practicum meant to be more self-directed?” and I just started crying as I asked it. I kind of… whimpered it. It was awkward but from that point on, they made way more of an effort to give me tasks and engage me in the work that was being done there. Lesson learned: you get what you ask for.

February  The first weekend of February is what we would call a “power weekend.” Looking back on these actions now, I cringe. However, at the time, I was pretty stoked. I slept with a friend from podcast club after a house party. For ease, I will refer to him as W. W had asked me out twice prior to this happening. I actually said yes, and we had plans to get drinks, but his best friend ended up going through a breakup the night before and he cancelled last minute. So then we slept together. Drunkenly. And it wasn’t… good. I chalked it up to the drunkenness. We went out on a real date, I made sure to have like one glass of wine maximum. He was lovely and great company and he taught me how to play crib but… you know that feeling when you’re like god, I wish I was enjoying this but I am just not enjoying this. It was like that all night. And it felt heavy. If I am being completely honest, there was also this strange moment that night where I had the thought, “he kind of looks like my grandfather if he were younger” and there is truly no recovering from that kind of realization.

February was also a terrible month because I had no days off. I will go to my grave angry about being required to work for free in my practicums. I was doing 32+ unpaid hours at this boring practicum and then working evenings and weekends at Famoso whenever I could. And Famoso was dead, so I wasn’t even making good money. This was also where I began to start witnessing things in my practicum that started to fuck with me. At first, I thought I was just having trouble sleeping. But over time in seminar and debriefs with my social work friends who were going through the same thing I realized that it was the oh-so-pleasant combination of vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. 

Over the reading week, I went to Fernie with Maddy and her friends for a ski/party weekend and that was truly awesome. One of those weekends where your ribs ache for days once you’re back because you laughed so hard. Some highlights: 

It snowed 60cm the night before we skied. It was powder up to your waist. 

• Maddy’s friend Melissa liked our bartender at the hostel. She took his phone and texted herself from it so he would have her number and vice versa. Then she got so drunk that later the same evening, she was looking at the text and forgot that she had sent it to herself so she texted back, “Who is this?” Also LOL #Bryna. 

• I took nudes of Maddy in the hostel shower to send to the guy she was seeing at the time. LOL. What are friends for? 

• Maddy and I met this set of twins who are the definition of gym bros. Identical twins. We ended up hooking up with them. At the same time. In our bunk bed at the hostel. We high fived. I later fell off the top bunk. We gave them a beer for the road when they left. All year long, we send one another their Instagram posts and stories whenever it’s them flexing in the gym mirror and just laugh about, “we really slept with those guys.” 

March 

In March, I got the flu. It was very annoying. I had to miss practicum (meaning I’d have to make up the hours somehow later). I stated binge watching Grey’s Anatomy. 

I ended things with W. It was kind of harsh but it needed to be done. I need to stop breaking up with people in the weeks prior to my birthday because we had a total Dave-Simard-2.0 situation where W told me he had purchased a birthday present for me and he still wanted to give it to me.

I also ran the St. Patrick’s Day Road Race again!!! Good times as always. 

Practicum got much better in March. I had many things to do. I got to design the curriculum for and facilitate a six-week girl’s group. I assisted with the planning and running of a series of community tax clinics which was cool. Except the guy from the agency whose project it was is a creep. He kept telling me all of these stories that were incredibly inappropriate given the fact that we knew each other only in a professional sense. He made many comments about women’s bodies and appearances that were gross. And I got left in some pretty unsafe situations all by myself. AND he made me pay out of pocket for snacks for one of the tax clinics and never reimbursed me for that. I kind of forgot about that until just now. Wow. 

April 

April was a big month! 

I went to Portland for my birthday weekend with Matt and Connor. When I think back to this trip, it was lovely, but mostly what I remember is a lot of beer, a lot of rain, and being hungover. Portland is a really cool city. I wasn’t totally expecting to be confronted with as much homelessness and substance use as I was but, that’s my privilege talking. Some highlights from the trip include: 

• The “Flower in the Kettle” IPA I had. 

• The mascarpone, corn and lobster agnolotti I had for my birthday dinner at A Cena. Recommended to me by a trusted friend I worked with at Famoso. So rich. SO FUCKING GOOD. 

• Meeting this really drunk real estate agent at a dive bar and convincing her that Matt and Connor were both my boyfriends. I still have her business card in my wallet. I am unsure why. 

• The Weezer concert was honestly awesome. 

• Matt actually trying out the guyliner. 

• Meeting some random guy when I went to get gum at a corner store. His name was Dan. He was old. His girlfriend had kicked him out and he was just walking around. He’d been in prison for a lot of his life. We had a good chat. I got his phone number and now we have each other on Facebook. 

• In the airport on the way home, Matt and I were so overtired that absolutely everything was hilarious. The gif game (the gif of Kevin from The Office dropping the bucket of chili. “Me in Thailand”), and the beginning of when I got let in to the “KEVIN!!!!” joke. I had tears in my eyes. 

• Connor yelled at me in a pizza restauraunt LOL (sorry Connor. I know you Ctrl+F your name. But this was memorable to me.) 

In the middle of April, I FINISHED MY PRACTICUM HOURS AND EFFECTIVELY GOT MY DEGREE. I cannot describe to you how good it felt to be driving home from one of those tax clinics after my third twelve-hour day (making up practicum hours is fun) knowing I never had to go back. Knowing that soon enough, I’d get to work on all the same cool projects but actually get paid for my time.

We visited Saskatoon for Easter, which would turn out to be the last time I got to see my Baba. She was very ill, and both of us knew that it would likely be the last time, so I did get to say my goodbyes. It was very difficult and I sobbed for a lot of the ride home. It’s a weird feeling, when someone you love has been so ill for so long, and you begin to see their condition really deteriorate. When the idea of life without that person starts to become a reality. There was almost an… acceptance? It sounds so callous to say and it’s way more complex than this but also somewhat of a relief in the finality of it. I don’t know. It was a lot. 

April was also when I started interviewing for social work jobs. I had two interviews. The first one was at CCASA, essentially for what I thought was my dream job. I have never psyched myself out so hard for anything in my life. I thought about that interview and that interview alone for weeks. I studied harder than I have for any test ever. When the time came for the interview, I was so nervous. I became this meek and mild version of myself. It was honestly devastating. But of course, had I gotten that job, I would never have interviewed at the University of Calgary. My boss-to-be called me for a pre-interview while I was on shift at Famoso. It was busy, too. But I just said fuck it and ducked into the back and talked to her on the phone for twenty minutes. She invited me for an interview a week later where I had to give a five-minute presentation on managing stress as a student. Rock on. 

May 

On May 1, I got offered THE JOB AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY! It was truly one of the happiest moments of my life. There is nothing more satisfying and exciting than actually attaining something you’ve been dreaming of for so long. It was for a one year contract on a maternity leave coverage, facilitating community trainings around suicide prevention, helping skills, all that good stuff. I was going to be on salary. I was going to have benefits. I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO WALK TO WORK AND HAVE A REAL CAREER THAT I WOULD BE PROUD OF AND EXCITED ABOUT.

I hung up the phone after accepting the job, texted all the requisite people about the good news, and then immediately drove to Famoso to quit. My boss at Famoso was angry with me because I did not give two weeks notice. I said I would work out the rest of my scheduled shifts. He was a jerk, he yelled at me in frustration saying, “You work here for five fucking years, we accommodate every trip, every vacation, every practicum and you don’t even have the courtesy to give me two weeks notice?!” It wasn’t a big deal though. He was just being an asshole. And hey, Steve, you’re still an asshole!

So my last day serving tables at Famoso Westhills was May 3, 2019. I’m usually not good with goodbyes but it was the easiest thing in the world to just walk out of there at the end of the night knowing I would never be back. I had ten days until I started my actual job at the University (a bit of an oversight on my part because I had ~no money~ so what the fuck was I going to do with ten days).

My grandmother passed away on May 19, 2019. Back to Saskatoon on May 28 for the funeral. It was really fucking sad and really fucking weird to see all of my cousins crying. My grandma also had a big Catholic funeral and none of us are particularly religious and as the direct relatives of the deceased we were at the front of the church and it was really obvious none of us had any idea when to kneel vs. stand and didn’t know any of the words or tunes to the songs.

On a happier note, my brother was accepted into medical school in May. Not that I ever doubted my brother would be a successful person, but this just really solidified it. Dr. MacKay.

June 

June was rather uneventful. I was honestly so cripplingly broke at this point, and it was so long before I actually saw a full salaried paycheck. I had to borrow money from my parents just to like, function. And pay my bills. It was embarrassing. But I was working full time and learning so many cool things about the job that it made it alright.

I walked the stage on the first week of June and accepted my BSW degree. I didn’t want to go but it was actually a pretty awesome and happy occasion.

The other big thing that happened in June is that Maddy moved to Australia. It sucks that I only met Maddy in the summer of 2018. She is so awesome and we became so close so quickly. I genuinely love her so much and spending time with her is so easy and fun, it was really sad when she left knowing that it was highly possible she may never return or at least not for several YEARS.

July 

By July, my new job was in full swing. I was facilitating trainings every other day (so much public speaking experience!), I was sitting on a committee, every day was new and challenging and exciting. 

My dad had a giant party for his 60th birthday, with some friends even coming from Saskatoon. They rented a limousine that took us to the Black Diamond hotel because apparently my parents have some kind of significance there. I did a shot with my grandfather? We played pool and Big Buck hunter? None of my friends came but all of my brother’s friends came and I honestly think that it turned the tables in terms of who my parents’ favourites are in terms of friends. 

I also had an awesome weekend at Folk Festival mostly with Kendal and Lachlan but also featuring guest appearances from Chad and Gillian. Podcast club pals. There is just nothing better than folk festival, honestly. Food trucks and music in the sun and drinking sangria from a flask and admiring everyone’s cool outfits and getting a tan and listening to concerts all day. I had a nap in the middle of the afternoon on Sunday and it was like the most glorious 45 minutes of my entire year. 

August 

Oh, no. August. I was still cripplingly broke (it takes a long time to catch up to a point where your entire paycheck is not just going to paying back things you’ve borrowed) and I made the utterly stupid decision to go to a music festival. 

Big Valley Jamboree, baby. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the best weekend that I am never ever doing again. Some highlights: 

• Mere minutes after arriving, I watched a man vomit. 

• The “Tony Keith” joke really took off. Lucas and I were so #inone on the Friday night we kept yelling and trying to start chants (“old man graphics!” is my personal favourite in response to Toby Keith’s random, pro-military Americana concert graphics).

• I gave my phone to somebody and then wandered off in search of this stupid boy’s campsite. I got very, very lost. The BVJ campground is a large place. I had no idea where I was going and was literally just stumbling through the dark and the mud. I ended up in the middle of some middle-aged Newfoundlanders’ campsite. They welcomed me. They offered me and sandwich and several beers. We chatted for like an hour. It was the best. I walked for SO LONG and finally found my own campsite. But we’re talking literally hours of walking around blind and disoriented. There were a few moments when I genuinely thought I was going to have to wait until the sun came up. 

• A few less-than-classy moments in porta potties. 

• The HANGOVERS. Jesus lord. I couldn’t survive. 

• Airwaves guy was great and I also had a really good buffalo chicken poutine thing that I remember fondly. 

In happier and much more professional news, I facilitated my first Community Helpers training in August. I was very nervous. Like, stay up all night the night before nervous. And we had some technical difficulties with setting up. But my coworker / work BFF Jeannie was there and she was a great support to me. She ran and got me a coffee and a banana bread because I hadn’t eaten and was so so stressed. And she encouraged me through the whole thing. It went really really well. I almost choked up at the end while thanking the participants for coming and explaining how it was my first training and they were such a great group to do it with. 

The squad was all super broke so we turned to free activities. It was very wholesome. We spent many afternoons and evenings reading in Prince’s Island Park with snacks. We went to Shakespeare in the park. We went hiking. 

A lot of my friends moved away in August. Such is life when your friends are all academics or have bright futures that are not confined to the Calgary city limits. Sydney moved to Victoria to start her PhD and we had a nice day at Elbow Falls eating berries and then having dinner with my family. Adam and Kendal both moved to Ottawa to start a fancy new government job and an MSW degree, respectively. I am really really proud of all of my friends but I miss them, too. Calgary is not the same without these people. 

On the flip side – a new roommate moved in! Maddie left to move to Red Deer to be with Joel and so our new roommate was a French exchange student named Aurore. She arrived and was shocked to see that none of the advertised furniture was in her room except for one limp mattress. Karla and I hadn’t even known she was coming because my landlord sucks, but we helped her get her things together and then ordered her some Skip the Dishes. She was exhausted. And sweet. And was starting a block week MBA class the next day in her second language. I felt for her. 

September 

In September, the inklings of me moving into a different role at the university were planted. My boss called me in to her office one afternoon and shut the door. I was terrified but she said to me, “you’re not in trouble. Actually, just the opposite.” She brought up the recent vacancies in the job I now hold (lol: spoilers) and said, “Just think about it. I just want you to know that there would be no hard feelings if you chose to apply for the role.” I was flattered but also caught off guard. I did not think I was qualified for the job. I had virtually no client experience in either of my practicums. I wasn’t even registered with the ACSW at this point. And I loved my old job and my health promotion coworkers so so much. But also… I was on a twelve month contract. And the person away on leave was definitely coming back. I was “strongly encouraged” to get registered with the college. 

It was honestly such a mess. They gently nudged me towards applying for the role, I was torn. Then they told me it probably wouldn’t work because I wasn’t yet registered with the ACSW, and even if I did register would still only be provisional. I felt an odd sense of relief at that, and had totally psyched myself out of being able to do the job at that point. At the last minute, I was told “just submit an application to keep our options open.” I did so. I got an interview. I interviewed (and it was SO fucking stressful…. Interviewing with people you already work with is 10x worse than interviewing with strangers. I tell ya.). And… I got the job!!! Not only did I get the job, I got a full-time, permanent contract (there were two positions, one full-time and one on a longer contract. I was told from the beginning I would just be applying for the longer contract but I ended up getting the FULL TIME ONE.) It was a HUGE boost to my confidence and again, one of the happiest days of the year.  

September was also just absolutely insane for work. So many orientation presentations, students reaching out wanting to get involved, starting all of the volunteer programs, planning. I was so, so, so SO FREAKING TIRED. But we did lots of fun things. Like we took Aurore and her friend Cecile to Banff, had them try Caesers and Beaver Tails and all kinds of Canadian things. 

October 

On my last day in my old role, my coworkers decorated my desk with a homemade banner and got me desserts. We went to McDonald’s for a feast and sat in the Hub and made jokes. It felt really special and I was really touched. 

On October 7, I started my new-but-also-kind-of-the-same job. I was very nervous and there was a lot to learn right from the get go. And it was so… strange. I HAD MY OWN OFFICE. WITH MY NAME ON THE DOOR AND EVERYTHING. The imposter syndrome hit me like a tsunami. I was extremely stressed, extremely overwhelmed. But my teammates and my boss are great. They understand I’m new not just to the role but to the field. They were (and are) so kind and patient with me and answer all of my questions. 

For Thanksgiving, we went to Banff. We had beers and did a little bowling at High Rollers and then went to the Rimrock for dinner. It was very nice. A few weeks later, I hosted my own friendsgiving dinner and roasted a turkey! And spent all day decorating my parents’ house and the table to look fancy. Everything turned out really really well. I was super stoked. Note to self: throw more dinner parties. 

November: 

What I recall from November is just… stress. The case management / social worker life came at me real hard, real fast. I had to call CFS for the first time. My client did not want me to. It was hard. I did not cope well. My coping strategy was to fuck off to Lake Louise (?) for a weekend in a hostel and drink two bottles of wine with some random sorority girls from Chicago. And tears.

The cooking phase was in full swing at this point. Eggs benedict, soft pretzels, curry, French onion soup, gnocchi, prosciutto apple blue cheese chicken, apple and chai galettes.

The third week of November was also when I decided to start training for the half marathon. I found a plan online and set out to follow it and honestly, it’s been great. I usually don’t stick to exercise routines for longer than a month because I tend to go too hard, too fast and I overdo it and I let one hungover day derail me. But this plan wasn’t focused on distance but rather time spent running. So rather than, “I have to run 5km” today it’s, “I have to run for 45 minutes today.” I thought I’d hate that but I actually really like it. It encourages me to go a little slower and just run out the clock, at whatever pace. And the speed is building gradually, and naturally.

December: 

Aaaand December!

December has been so much marathon training. Today, I am entering my seventh week of consistent running and exercise. That is a badass accomplishment for me. I am very pleased. I even managed to do my runs in Saskatoon on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Aurore left back to Paris. She had a birthday party at the house with all of her international friends and we went for sushi and looked at Christmas lights in the rich people neighborhoods before she returned home. She ended up being so wonderful. I will miss her.

I went to Radium for a weekend with Kennedy, Matt, Amanda, and their friend Katie. The takeaways from this experience are: I am excited to get to spend more time with Kennedy and Amanda and to become better friends with them, I think I like smoking weed now, and skiing is the best.

2020: 

To be completely honest, my life is pretty good. I sometimes wish I had somebody to share it with, and that’s something I hope to be a little better about in 2020 is putting myself out there in more of a meaningful way. 

I also am super excited to continue down this path with my career and to develop personally and professionally as a social worker. There is truly so much to learn and I’m really motivated and excited right now to do well at this which is an awesome feeling. I do need to work on not taking my work home with me so much, about separating the social work life from the personal life. Setting boundaries and all that good stuff. 

I’m hopefully going to run my first half marathon in 2020. May 31. The countdown is on. Excited to cross that item off the bucket list and experience the rush of crossing the finish line! That endorphin high is going to be insane. 

And I want to keep developing my cooking skills. Though they may be small, they are mighty. I want to try and learn how to make fresh pasta dough. LOL. Simple goals. 

Anyways... thank you 2019 for all you have brought me and taught me. I am grateful for the life I get to the live and the experiences I get to have. And I’m super stoked to see where 2020 takes me. 

<3 

[historyrepeatsitself-phff]

Chapter Seventy-Two

A/N: We’re getting VERY close to the birth now - I’m so excited to share it with you!! 

Emmy slowly climbed the stairs, struggling under the weight of her bump, before reaching her bedroom and collapsing onto the bed. She sighed, relief flooding her as her muscles relaxed and her eyes closed. She’d just spent the last few hours with Rainbows, Brownies and Guides, helping them celebrate Halloween with scary stories, dressing up and arts and crafts. It had been her first engagement for the last two weeks, and she was exhausted from it.

Harry appeared in the doorway, and he grinned at the sight of Emmy laying there. “Tired out?”

“Hmm,” she mumbled into the quilt.

“Want anything to eat?” he asked.

“I’m not hungry,” she murmured, then sighed. “I should probably eat something. I’ll have a sandwich in a minute or something.”

He moved into the room and perched on the bed beside her, smoothing along her back. “How was it?”

“It was good,” she said. “Although I was exhausted by the time the Guides got there. the Rainbows were cute, though. Very cute.” Then she bit her lip. “I think I let slip our due date.”

He raised an eyebrow, then chuckled at her. “I’m sure it’s fine, not long now anyway.”

“I just told them the second week of November,” Emmy explained, pushing herself into a sitting position. “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course, don’t worry about it at all,” Harry said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You know the press started camping outside while you were at the engagement?”

“Really?”

“Hmm, the first few people started setting up,” he said. “Edward told me. There’s a handful of British press there already, a few foreign news outlets are meant to start arriving tomorrow.” He grinned. “Looks like it’s all happening now.”

Emmy smiled. “Not long at all. I’m so excited.”

“Me too.” He entwined his fingers with hers, and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Are you excited about the baby shower tomorrow?”

“Ugh,” she said, making a face. “I mean, I am, but at the same time I just want to sleep now. I’m so tired from today.”

“It’s just one day,” he said gently.

“Yeah, I know, and Kate has been so lovely to organize it,” Emmy said. “I’ll be fine once I’m there. Besides, they’ve all bought us useful presents, so I really do need to go.”

He chuckled. “That and the fact that it’s your baby shower.”

Emmy tottered into the room, groaning as she sank into one of the chairs. She mustered a tired smile as everyone beamed at her.

“How are you feeling?” Taylor pressed, from where she was sat beside her. She was bouncing in her seat, excited.

“Very tired,” Emmy sighed. “And uncomfortable. But happy, too.” She grinned. “Thanks for coming today.”

“We want to celebrate, don’t be silly,” Zara said.

Kate had invited most of the females in Emmy’s life to the baby shower. Taylor was there, of course, and Kate had wanted to invite some of Emmy’s older friends that she didn’t see very often, but Emmy didn’t want them there – none of them knew that her little baby was a girl, and she knew it would be too much hassle to try and keep it a secret. And so aside from Taylor, most of the other ladies were family.

Kate was there of course, as were Zara, Autumn, Beatrice and Eugenie. Camilla had managed to come too, and Sophie had arrived with her, bringing young teenage Louise too. From Emmy’s family, her stepmother Chelsea had come, bringing Tara – who was a few years younger than Louise and was sat beside her, shyly getting to know her. Emmy’s sister Lucy had come, as had her sister-in-law Susie who, miraculously, was in the UK for a few weeks with Benedict. Emmy’s brother was hoping to still be in the country for the birth, so he could meet his new niece before he had to return to America again.

The last few people weren’t family. Zoe and Lizzie were there, Lizzie already having lost a lot of baby weight. Claire was there, of course, in her role as friend rather than secretary, and she’d organized the invitations for the last few guests. Emmy’s hairdresser Hannah was there, as was Melissa who often came to do Emmy’s make-up with her. Emma Watson and Crown Princess Victoria had both been invited, but both were abroad and so could not make it. Emmy supposed that was the problem with having famous friends – they were always very occupied.

“Are we opening presents?” Beatrice said excitedly, her eyes flittering to the table piled with gifts. Emmy couldn’t look at it without feeling embarrassed – she hated being given presents in front of people, she really did. And those were a lot of presents.

But, she supposed, most of them would be for her little baby. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad?

“How long now?” Eugenie asked, as Kate came in and handed round orange juices to each of the guests.

Emmy laughed before she could stop herself. “Sorry,” she said. “I’ve just lost track of how many times I’ve been asked that lately.”

Eugenie grinned. “Sorry.”

“No problem, we are now about two weeks away,” Emmy said, counting in her head. “Our baby’s due on the 15th, so actually two weeks today.”

“Wow, that has really gone so fast,” Autumn mused.

“I heard Guy had his little girl a few weeks ago,” Kate said, smiling. “That scared me, I remember when they came over to tell us they were pregnant.”

“It’s scary how fast time is going,” Claire agreed. “I’ve nearly been with you two years, Emmy.”

“What would I do without you?” Emmy said, somewhat dryly, and she shared a laugh with her secretary. Then she turned to Susie. “Susie, how’s Felicity? I haven’t seen her in so long!”

“It’s because she’s always in bloody America,” Lucy agreed, pretending to glare at Susie.

“She’s over here with us this time,” Susie said, smiling at Emmy. “She’s getting big, she’s started talking now, keeps winding Ben up by calling him ‘mama’.” She smiled at the memory. “You’ll have to come and see her at some point. Or we’ll see you, once your little one’s been born.”

“Hmm, you and Ben can come by,” Emmy said.

“Now presents?” Beatrice asked, pouting impatiently.

“You must have got her something really good,” Autumn said, with a grin.

“Only what she asked for, but I want her to open my card! It’s the cutest thing!”

Emmy managed a wry grin. “Should I be scared?”

“Knowing Bea, it’s probably inappropriate,” Eugenie agreed.

Beatrice opened her mouth in outrage. “We are at a baby shower! I can’t believe you guys think that of me!”

Eugenie sniggered, and she nudged her sister playfully. “We’re only joking, Bea.”

“Hmm, besides, it’s your turn next,” Zara added, smirking.

“Why is everyone in this family obsessed with people having babies,” Beatrice complained. “Honestly! Harry and Emmy’s baby isn’t even here yet and you’re trying to get me to have one!”

Sophie patted Beatrice’s shoulder reassuringly. “Well, it’s a long time to wait, you know.”

“Get practicing,” Eugenie said.

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “Dave and I have plenty of practice, I’ll have you know.”

“Ugh!” Kate said, giggling. “Too much information! Again, this is a baby shower!”

“Yes, ladies, let’s keep it clean,” Camilla said, chortling.

They moved onto the gifts then, Emmy awkwardly taking each one that she was passed by Kate. Some of the boxes were bigger, some were soft and squidgy, but each of the presents was elegantly wrapped in different types of pink paper or was tucked in gorgeous pink gift bags. Everywhere Emmy looked there was pink – pink bows, pink tissue, pink tags. Kate had even decorated her enormous pristine living room with pink balloons and banners, and each of the guests had been given a pink party bag full of cute little joke gifts.

“Oh this is adorable,” Emmy gasped, five minutes into the gifts. She’d opened one of Taylor’s presents – the other had been a playmat, which was soft and spongy so that the baby could lay on the floor and play with her toys. It even had a removable mobile for when she got a bit bigger. But in her hand Emmy was now holding the softest little babygro and matching hat – it had tiny bunnies on it, and she rubbed the fabric between her thumb and forefinger, feeling just how soft it was.

“Taylor, this is lovely!” Emmy mused, turning eyes to her best friend and beaming. “It’s so soft!”

Taylor grinned. “I touched it and went “I’m buying this”!”

Emmy laughed lightly, passing the babygro to Kate, who stroked it herself and then passed it to Camilla to have a look at. Emmy tried to get to her feet to give Taylor a hug, but she struggled. Taylor jumped up and came over to her.

“Thank you,” Emmy murmured to her, cuddling her tightly. “I love it.”

“I had no idea what to get you,” Taylor said. “What do you get the girl who has everything, huh?”

Emmy barked a laugh. “Hardly!”

“Open Skippy’s now, he was very disappointed that he wouldn’t get to see you open it,” Zoe piped up, rolling her eyes.

“Baby showers are a lovely thing to do with all the girlies,” Kate said, pouting. “And Skippy is very far from being a girl.”

“If he was here right now, he probably would’ve turned his nose up at the tea and then asked for a beer,” Lizzie teased.

“And scoffed all the Fondant Fancies,” Taylor agreed, and they shared a laugh.

Emmy was tearing the wrapped paper off of Skippy’s present, and she groaned as soon as she caught a glimpse. “He better not have!”

Taylor and Zoe snickered, both knowing what it was.

“Oh, he did,” Emmy stated, scowling with mock-dismay, before she grinned and held up the tiny Arsenal shirt. She examined it, raising an eyebrow, tipping her head to the side, wondering how she was going to tell Harry off for obviously arranging this.

“Skippy got a few sizes up,” Zoe told her. “He was going to get a newborn one but I said she’d grow out of it, and Harry certainly won’t be taking a newborn baby to a football match. He got the 12-18 months size.”

“Look at the back,” Taylor said excitedly, watching her best friend’s reaction.

Emmy frowned in confusion, turning it round, before her heart melted. On the back, above the number 26, was the name Clarence. She gasped out loud. “Oh my god! He got it personalized!” She felt tears prickling in her eyes.

“And the number 26?” Zoe said, grinning. “Anything special about that number?”

Emmy thought for a moment, before she gasped. “It’s our anniversary!” Her and Harry had been wed on the 26th June.  She hastily wiped at the tears pooling in her eyes.

“Oh shit, are you crying?” Taylor said, concern flooding her expression.

“It’s just such a lovely gift,” Emmy blubbered, wiping her cheeks. “So unexpected!”

“Aw, shame Skippy couldn’t see your reaction,” Lizzie mused.

“He was worried you wouldn’t like it,” Taylor explained to Emmy.

“How could I not?” Emmy murmured, laying the shirt in her lap and staring at it for a moment. She sniffled, then smiled around at everyone. “Sorry, hormones.”

Everyone laughed lightly at that, and then Kate passed her the next gift. “Charlotte and George picked this out especially for you.”

Emmy raised an eyebrow in surprise then, with eagerness, she tore it open to reveal a small Tatty Teddy, wearing a little t-shirt that said “Amazing Auntie” on it. Her hand went to her mouth, covering her delighted gasp, and she felt tears prickling in her eyes again.

“Kate,” she breathed, swallowing to keep herself together. “I love it, it’s lovely! Thank you so much!”

“Aw, you’re welcome,” Kate said. “And George did actually pick it out, we went out looking for something for you and he saw it and said that you would like it.”

“You need to give them both huge hugs from me as a thank you,” Emmy said lightly, her eyes returning to her little teddy. Most of her other gifts had been things that she would need for when her little baby arrived, or it was toys or clothes for the baby. This was the first real thing that had been for her, and she loved it.

“How are George and Charlotte?” Sophie asked Kate, as Emmy moved on with the gifts for there were a lot to get through.

“They’re good, yes, George is loving nursery,” Kate replied, smiling. “Charlotte is well too. Not talking yet, but she’s got plenty of time.”

“It’s a lovely age, isn’t it?” Susie said to her. “Felicity is only a few months older than Charlotte, they’re so sweet at this age.”

Emmy gave Camilla a thank-you hug as Kate and Susie discussed their daughters, before Emmy’s phone started to ring. Emmy looked at the screen.

“It’s Harry,” she said.

“Leave it!” Beatrice gasped, with mock outrage.

“Ignore him!”

“Don’t answer!”

“No guys, this is a baby shower!” Zara said.

Emmy grinned round as everyone told her to dismiss the call, then she made an apologetic face before answering.

“Hello?” she said.

“Hey baby,” Harry’s voice came through. “Not interrupting, am I?”

“Afraid so,” she replied playfully.

“Sorry, is it the middle of the stripper’s performance?”

She rolled her eyes at him, a smile tugging at her lips. “Do you know what Skippy got me?”

“No? Why?”

“Now why don’t I believe you?” she teased.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked, his tone laced with fake innocence. “Sounds good.”

‘I’ll show you what he got me when I get home,” she said. “Although, of course, you already know.”

“Of course,” he said dryly. “I just got home from the charity, I wondered whether you’re having dinner there, otherwise I’ll make us a stir fry.”

“I’m full to bursting with cakes I’m afraid,” she admitted. “But you go ahead.”

“Is everything okay?” he asked. “No baby?”

“How ironic would it be if the baby turned up at the baby shower?” she said, laughing. “Everything’s fine, I’ve got a lot of stuff to show you when I get home. We’ve got a lot of lovely gifts.”

“Okay, babe, I’ll see you later,” he said.

She was suddenly overcome with the desire to be with him, to have him there, and she shook it off before bidding him goodbye. It reminded her of when they’d first gotten together, when she had wanted to spend time with him every second of every day, when all she had wanted was his presence and his attention. The feeling had surprised her now, especially after a few weeks of her and Harry being too busy for much other than planning for baby.

“Harry must be so excited,” Chelsea mused, smiling.

“He is, yeah, he’s wanted kids for a really long time now,” Emmy admitted. “He’s been really good with everything, he’s been really helpful, and he’s read so many of those pregnancy and new baby books.”

“Is he panicking yet?” Zara mused. “Worrying about the birth? He strikes me as an overprotective husband.”

“You know him very well,” Emmy answered, and they shared a laugh. “If he is he’s keeping it to himself. I just think he doesn’t want to make me nervous, you know?”

“Are you not nervous?” Zoe asked.

“I’m terrified,” Emmy said, making a scared face.

Before long all the presents were open, the little cakes and scones had been eaten and people had to start leaving. Emmy received hugs from each of the guests, and eventually gave Kate a huge hug and thanked her for hosting.

“That’s okay, I enjoyed it,” Kate said, smiling at her. “It was nice to have all the ladies together, wasn’t it?”

“It was, it was lovely,” Emmy said. “Thank you, Kate!”

“Stop thanking me,” Kate said. “I’ll get William to bring the larger gifts round yours later, are you okay taking that?”

Emmy nodded – she’d managed to cram most of the small presents into some carrier bags which Claire was helping her carry. The secretary helped her out into the grounds before crossing the lawn to Nottingham Cottage.

“How are you feeling about the baby?” Claire asked her. “You all ready?”

“Yeah, everything is ready now,” Emmy said, feeling a nervous jitter pass through her. “We just need her to arrive.”

“And it’s not long at all,” Claire said, smiling. “I’m excited for you, you know.”

“Even though the little one is going to make your job ten times harder?”

Claire laughed. “Indeed. It’ll be good for you to have a baby to focus on. Anyway, I’ll leave you here.” She placed down the bags she was holding as they reached the front door. “I’ll be seeing you on the 5th.”

“You will,” Emmy said. They bid each other goodbye before Emmy watched her secretary return to the palace, and Emmy finally knocked on the door and waited for Harry to answer.

The baby shower had been on the 1st November, exactly two weeks before the due date, and those two weeks passed in a busy, stressful, nervous blur. It was Remembrance week, and both Harry and Emmy had many engagements to attend. Emmy being heavily pregnant meant she was able to avoid some less-important engagements, such as the remembrance concert and aiding the poppy appeal in London, but on Remembrance Day she had to visit a school to celebrate and remember those lost, and then attend the service at the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday. While Harry was terrified that she might go into labour during each of these engagements, he was reassured by Claire, who had taken every precaution with Emmy. The two of them even had a code word for if Emmy felt a contraction or her waters broke.

With the knowledge that Claire was taking care of Emmy, Harry had a day with his grandfather on the cards for Remembrance Day. Their annual service at Westminster Abbey was ahead of them.

Phillip threw his grandson a warm smile as Harry slipped into the back of the car, shivering from the icy wind that had nipped at his cheeks.

“Hi Grandpa,” he said, grinning. “God, it’s freezing today.”

“It certainly is, it’s got so cold this past week,” Phillip said. “It’s meant to be stormy this weekend.”

“Great, just in time for all the Remembrance Day stuff,” Harry said, laughing humourlessly. “Always the way, I guess.”

“Hmm, anyway, how are you, Harry?” Phillip said. “How’s Emmy? She must be nearing the due date now?”

“Yeah, four days to go,” Harry said, his words sending a terrified yet excited thrill through him. Four days, and then their little one would be there with them. Four days, and then their life would change, but completely for the better, Harry was sure. He couldn’t wait to meet his little princess. “She’s a bit nervous, we both are. But excited.”

“It must be nice for her to take a break and relax,” Phillip mused. “She deserves a break, that one.”

“She does, not that she’s getting one,” Harry said. “She’s had engagements all week. Her last is on Sunday. At the Cenotaph.”

“Is that wise? She could pop at any moment,” Phillip said gruffly, frowning with concern.

“She was invited to engagements, and she wanted to do them,” Harry explained. “She said that it was an important week and she didn’t want to let people down.”

“I’m sure people would’ve understood the circumstances-”

“Trust me, Grandpa, I know,” he said, chuckling. “I’ve tried telling her all these things, but she really just didn’t want to be sat at home doing nothing. She said that would be worse than going into labour on an engagement.”

Phillip arched an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Apparently.” Harry shrugged. “If that’s what she wants, I can’t force her to stay home, can I? Besides, she has her secretary with her. Claire will look after her.”

“Is Emmy out today?”

“Yeah, she’s visiting a school in Crawley today for Remembrance Day,” he explained.

“She could’ve come with us,” Phillip said.

“I know, but she was invited by the headmistress,” Harry said. “Besides, this is our thing. Me and you, Grandpa.”

He smiled. “That is true. For how much longer, I wonder.”

“Nah, you better not make me come on my own,” Harry replied, nudging him as he grinned. “Wouldn’t be the same without you here with me, Grandpa.”

Phillip couldn’t help but smile at that, although he truly did wonder how many of these Remembrance Day services he had left with his grandson. His health had been getting complicated, not that he was going to tell any of his grandchildren that. They all had so much on their plate, they didn’t need to worry about him.

“I’m very excited to meet your little girl,” Phillip said to him.

Harry beamed. “Me too.”

“I’m very proud of everything you’ve achieved, you know,” he added. “Your whole life seems to be coming together now. You’re so popular amongst the people, you and Emmy. Both of you are so passionate about good causes, it’s so nice to see.”

“Hmm,” Harry said, then added, “Guess you all chose well, didn’t you? Emmy’s perfect.”

Phillip could sense the bitterness in Harry’s tone. No matter how happy Harry was now, he would never forgive his family for forcing him into this situation against his will, and Phillip knew that Harry’s relationship with his grandmother and his father could never go back to what it was before. And, evidently, his own relationship with Harry.

“Look, Harry,” Phillip began, clearing his throat gruffly. “I want you to know that I never had anything to do with all this. You know that, right? It was never my idea to have you marry someone for publicity, nor for you to have a child when it suited us. I even tried to talk your grandmother out of the idea once it had been suggested.”

Harry didn’t answer. He didn’t know what to say.

“I thought it was a poor way to repay you for being such an amazing asset to the family,” Phillip said. “I never wanted this for you. I wanted you to find your own way.”

“Thanks, Grandpa,” Harry said, throwing him a smile to show that he appreciated his words.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re “good” as you young people say nowadays,” he added.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. “We’re good, Grandpa, don’t worry. I never blamed you anyway.”

Phillip smiled at that, relieved. “I know it’s not my place to say, but I don’t get to see you very often. Your mother would be so proud of you, you know that?”

Harry’s throat closed up with emotion, and he swallowed, trying to hold it in. “I hope so.”

“She would. Infinitely proud.”

That really wasn’t helping Harry’s composure. He closed his eyes as he nodded, fighting tears. “Everything I do, I do to make her proud. Everything.”

Phillip patted his knee reassuringly. “You’re such a good man. You know, Harry, if I knew that you were going to succeed your grandmother and father as King, I could die happy.”

Harry barked a laugh at the absurdity. “Come on, Grandpa, this is me we’re talking about. Me. Racist, drunk, immature Harry whose bare ass was on the front page.”

“You, Harry, who set up a charity in Africa to combat HIV, who created the Invictus Games to help injured veterans, who is one of the heads of a campaign to help Mental Health in the UK.”

He scoffed. “That was Kate’s idea. Kate, the actual future Queen.”

Phillip waved dismissively. “You know, between you and me, I would rather leave the country in your hands. You realise that?”

“I don’t know how the country would feel about that,” Harry quipped, then looked desperately at his grandfather. “Pease tell me that this isn’t the next thing you and Granny want me to do. First marriage, then baby, then golden carriage to my coronation?”

Phillip laughed at that. “You got your sense of humour from me, you should be more thankful.”

Harry grinned too. “Some say that I’m you through and through.”

“I wish I was even half the man that you are,” Phillip replied.

“God, you’re so soppy today,” Harry said, laughing. “What’s up? Have you been on the bottle, because it’s only ten o’clock in the morning, Grandpa, you’re getting earlier and earlier-”

Phillip chuckled too, but before either could answer they’d began to approach Westminster Abbey, and then the car was stopping outside the majestic building, as the crowds gathered to watch cheered in greeting.

“Let’s do this,” Harry said, grinning at his grandfather.

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2016

Mediocre. 

That’s probably how best to describe last year’s cinematic releases.

Whilst there were a few spectacular successes that captured the imagination of cinemagoers everywhere, many films failed to generate any interest at the box office and instead, were rewarded the ire of critics and audiences who’ve now grown tired of the sub-standard quality of productions Hollywood releases under the premise of ‘entertainment.’

So, who succeeded and who failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS

49. FREE STATE OF JONES

48. BLOOD FATHER

47. EDDIE THE EAGLE

46. ROOM

45. SAUSAGE PARTY

44. THE FOUNDER

43. THE MEDDLER

42. HAIL, CAESAR

41. DEADPOOL

40. EYE IN THE SKY

39. THE CONJURING 2

38. LIGHTS OUT

37. ANOMALISA

36. FINDING DORY

35. A BIGGER SPLASH

34. SHERPA

33. THE JUNGLE BOOK

32. FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS

31. SWISS ARMY MAN

30. BONE TOMAHAWK

29. CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

28. TOO LATE

27. HACKSAW RIDGE

26. TICKLED

25. NOCTURNAL ANIMALS

24. THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK

23. THE BIG SHORT

22. LA LA LAND

21. THE NICE GUYS

20. DOCTOR STRANGE

19. CAROL

18. STEVE JOBS

17. THE DAUGHTER

16. THE REVENANT

15. THE HATEFUL EIGHT

14. GOLDSTONE

13. THE ARRIVAL

12. GREEN ROOM

11. HELL OR HIGH WATER

10. THE NEON DEMON

Director Nicolas Winding Refn’s psychological horror film about an aspiring model in LA, whose beauty and youth generate intense fascination and jealousy within the industry, was audacious, seductive and a visual feast for lovers of esoteric imagery. It may have polarised its critics, but ‘The Neon Demon’ proved once again why Refn is regarded by many as a bold and visionary artist.

9. THE WITCH

The tale about a Puritan family’s decision to go it alone in the wilderness and encountering evil forces in the woods beyond their isolated farm, deservedly became a ‘must-see’ for lovers of the horror genre. Primal and challenging, ’The Witch’ was a modern classic of the genre, an exquisitely made film that immersed you in a gloomy and harsh existence whilst it slowly built towards its haunting conclusion. 

8. ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY

When reshoots were confirmed back in June of last year, fans of this famous film franchise were warranted to feel slightly apprehensive about the release of the very first ‘Star Wars’ stand alone film. They needn’t to have worried so - ‘Rogue One’ proved to be a favourite with both fans and critics alike. Set just before the events of ‘Episode IV: A New Hope,’ and focusing on the rebel spies who managed to steal the plans for the original Death Star, ‘Rogue One’ was a well-executed piece of ‘Star Wars’ lore.

7. SPOTLIGHT

Chronicling the events leading up to the ‘Boston Globe's trailblazing articles, published in 2002, about Boston priests abusing children, ‘Spotlight’ was a thought-provoking piece of modern storytelling. Featuring a strong script and a stellar cast of disciplined actors, ‘Spotlight’ made viewers think about how an unquestioning faith in institutions may not just be inadvisable, but devastating.

6. 45 YEARS

Whilst movies about marriage can be bitter and/or perceptive, ‘45 Years’ was that rare exception, where a film presents a situation as complicated as that of it’s two protagonists. Anchored by sensational performances from both Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay, and featuring a clever yet effective soundtrack, ‘45 Years’ was a small film of big insights, heavy on dialogue but light on speeches.

5. 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

It would be wonderful to explain as to why director Dan Trachtenberg’s debut feature was squirm-and-jump-in-your-seat fun, but doing so would actually make it less fun by ruining the surprise. ‘10 Cloverfield Lane’ proved itself to be a masterclass in suspense, a heart-racing experience that refused to let up the level of intensity it instilled in audiences for even a minute.

4. ZOOTOPIA

Clever and heartwarming, Disney’s 55th animated feature was equal parts buddy-cop comedy, fish-out-of-water tale and whodunnit mystery. With its vibrant visuals and spot-on voice casting, ‘Zootopia’ also garnered praise for its tackling of themes about discrimination and social stereotypes.

3. HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE

Quirky and offbeat, this charming odd-couple adventure from New Zealand was a well-acted story of a down-and-out Maori kid and his grouchy foster parent. It could have devolved into the cliched, but managed to stay on the right side of endearing thanks to the chemistry between the film’s two leads. Proof also that Sam Neill is a national treasure, no matter what side of the Tasman you may reside.

2. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Note to DC Comics and Zack Snyder - this is how you make a superhero movie. With its death-defying action sequences, charismatic additional superheroes and emotional character development, this third ‘Captain America’ outing was both an intense and entertaining addition to the ever-expanding MCU.

1. DON’T BREATHE

Director Fede Alvarez’s ‘Don’t Breathe’ was an intense, gripping thriller set almost entirely in one house as a group of desperate thieves attempt to steal a fortune from an elderly blind man. The film was not only clever with its editing and sound design, but also succeeded in creating a bonding experience amongst its audience, where the entire cinema would scream in unison. A modern-day suspense classic, ‘Don’t Breathe’ was nerve wracking as hell, with the now infamous ‘turkey baster sequence’ joining the long canon of classic horror film moments. 

…AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. GHOSTBUSTERS

19. BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

18. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES

17. NOW YOU SEE ME 2

16. THE LEGEND OF TARZAN

15. WARCRAFT

14. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

13. SUICIDE SQUAD

12. GODS OF EGYPT

11. DIRTY GRANDPA

10. THE BOSS

As comedies go, Melissa McCarthy’s latest had very little to offer. The characters were underdeveloped and underwritten, a prison subplot that sounded promising went nowhere (and strangely unexplored comedy-wise) and there were so many holes in the remaining storyline that audiences wondered what happened in the process of filming.

9. ROCK THE KASBAH

The tale of a down-on-his-luck music manager discovering a teenage girl with an extraordinary voice while on a music tour in Afghanistan, wasn’t one of the ‘Murricane’s stronger efforts. Director Barry Levinson (’Rain Man,’ ‘Good Morning, Vietnam’) tried to be both funny and respectful to the material, but what resulted was a rather slapdash affair that failed to produce any laughs.

8. LONDON HAS FALLEN

The word ‘jingoism’ is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as ‘extreme patriotism, especially in the form of aggressive or warlike foreign policy.’ This definition could also be used to best describe the plot for this inane actioner. Anyone who was calling for a sequel to ‘Olympus Has Fallen,’ should’ve been careful what they wished for.

7. BASTILLE DAY

As an action film, ‘Bastille Day’ was sorely lacking and uninspired, relying solely on many of the overused cliches that come with the genre - mismatched heroes, reluctantly teamed up and constantly bickering, not to mention the sudden ‘surprise’ betrayal so clumsily telegraphed that it absolutely failed to surprise. And Mr Elba, please, no more rapping performances over the end credits of any future films in which you may appear.

6. ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

Whilst Disney may have have reaped both critical and box office gold with its Marvel films and ‘Rogue One,’ its fantastical follow up to the $1 billion grossing ‘Alice in Wonderland’ completely failed to charm both audiences and critics alike. Lacking virtually any form of narrative, ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’ was nothing more than a parade of gaudy CGI used to disguise the utter lack of interesting characters. Sadly, this was also Alan Rickman’s last role before his untimely death.

5. BEN-HUR

This fifth film adaptation of Lew Wallace’s revered 1880 novel was a real chariots of dire. The film’s poor performance at the box office was confirmation audiences have become increasingly tired of Tinseltown’s lacklustre efforts to improve upon what are already considered by many as cinematic classics.

4. CELL

This confusing thriller about a mysterious cell phone signal that turns people into murderous zombies, now has the dishonour of being arguably the worst movie ever made based on a Stephen King novel. Amateurish in execution and with a grand finale that’s less ambiguous than deeply confusing, ‘Cell’ was both a disappointment and an embarrassment for all those involved.

3. MASTERMINDS

With director Jared Hess (‘Napolean Dynamite’) at the helm, and a cast featuring some of the funniest US comedians currently out there, you’d be right in automatically thinking that ‘Masterminds’ would be brimming with comedic gold. Unfortunately, the end result was a non-stop avalanche of stale jokes that failed to even garner the slightest of titters from its audience.

2. MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES

“Hear ye, hear ye, let it be known to all moviegoers that the ‘gross-out-comedy-genre’ was officially (and thankfully) laid to rest in 2016...” ‘Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates’ was nothing more than a misfired series of puerile jokes that even the reigning kings of the genre, the Farrelly Brothers, would deem as a whole new level of terrible.

1. BAD SANTA 2

The first ‘Bad Santa’ was an unexpected treat, a cruelly hilarious film with a surprising amount of heart. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about this truly repulsive sequel that so deservedly belongs in the number one position on this year’s cinematic naughty list. Given that five of this year’s ten worst films are comedies, it would appear that the Hollywood standard for the genre itself has reached an all-time new low. Perhaps the only silver lining regarding last year’s worst films is that none of them featured Adam Sandler.  

[democratsunited-blog]

Obama Stumps for Orange County Democrats

https://uniteddemocrats.net/?p=9524

Obama Stumps for Orange County Democrats

By Thy Vo and Spencer Custodio | 12 hours ago

Publisher’s Note: Voice of OC election news coverage is now being featured as part of a select partnership with the New York Times, offering national and local readers a deeper understanding of Orange County and the four contested congressional races here that have major implications for the balance of power in Washington, D.C. Stay connected with us for continued polls, stories and events.

Former President Barack Obama waded into the once Republican stronghold of Orange County Saturday, throwing his political weight behind first-time Democratic candidates who say they can flip four Republican-held House of Representative districts where voters sided with Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election.

“I think the goal was sending a signal to people across Orange County that all the way to November 6 that the eyes of the nation are on Orange County,” said Katie Porter, a consumer attorney running against Republican incumbent Rep. Mimi Walters in the south-central OC 45th congressional district.

Following a fiery speech in Illinois Friday, where Obama broke with tradition and criticized President Donald J. Trump by name, saying he fueled “politics of fear and resentment,” the former president told an invitation-only crowd of 900 Democratic activists who gathered at a ballroom Saturday in the Anaheim Convention Center, the antidote to their concerns about Trump is to get involved.

“When there’s a vacuum in our democracy, when we aren’t participating, paying attention, if we don’t step up — other voices fill the void,” said Obama. “The good news is, for the next two months, we have a chance to restore some sanity in our politics.”

Orange County is a crucial battleground for Democrats in their effort to flip at least 24 Republican-held seats in the 435-seat House of Representatives.

National Democrats hope to replace Orange County Republicans in the 39th, 45th, 48th and 49th congressional districts.

Two of those seats are open after incumbents announced they wouldn’t run again: the largely north Orange County 39th District, which is held by Rep. Ed Royce (R-Fullerton), and the mostly San Diego County 49th Congressional District, represented by Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Vista).

Orange County has long been a Republican stronghold, but that advantage has been eroding with demographic changes in recent years. Republicans now make up 35 percent of registered voters, followed by Democrats with 33 percent and no party preference voters at 26 percent, according to latest figures from the county Registrar of Voters. Eight years ago, Republicans led Democrats 43 percent to 32 percent.

The Cook Political Report, a nonpartisan newsletter run by a team of election experts, currently rates the 39th, 45th and 48th congressional districts as toss-ups, with the 49th district as likely to lean Democratic.

Fred Smoller, a political science professor at Chapman University, said Obama’s visit is a shot in the arm for Democrats and could be a “tipping point in some very tight races” in Orange County.

But Republicans, too, say the former president’s visit will motivate their voters to fight the threat of a Democrat-run House.

“I want to thank the former President for coming to the OC today to fire up the GOP base,” Republican strategist Dave Gilliard of the political consulting firm Gilliard and Blanning tweeted after Obama’s remarks.

Democrats are hoping to use discontent with Trump to not only mobilize liberals, but also reach out to unaffiliated or disaffected Republican voters.

“By the way, we’re reaching out to not just true blue, die hard Democrats — I want to talk to independents,” said Obama.

“I want to reach out to some Republicans…who say to themselves, ‘I don’t recognize what’s going on in Washington right now, that’s not what I believe, that’s not who I believe we are as a people and country,’” Obama said.

Ahead of Obama’s visit, Walters’ campaign painted a different picture, writing in an email to supporters that Obama is backing “far-left liberals in the mold of (Senators) Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and (New York Congressional candidate) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.”

“These candidates are too extreme for Orange County and we cannot let them win in November,” the email states. “Do not let his visit distract us from our goal. While he and the Democrats talk to themselves – we must talk to voters.”

In addition to Obama, Walter’s opponent Porter is endorsed by a number of congressional Democrats, including Warren of Massachusetts and California Sen. Dianne Feinstein.

Walters recently told the national GOP not to spend money on her race — often a sign a party is abandoning a race, but Walters says it’s because she can raise enough on her own, according to the Los Angeles Times. 

Of the four Orange County Democratic candidates, only Gil Cisneros has not received an official endorsement from Obama, and was absent from a slate of endorsements released by Obama in August, although he was present at Obama’s speech Saturday.

Cisneros, a former Navy veteran and lottery winner who has poured millions into his own campaign, is running in the 39th district against former Republican Assemblywoman Young Kim, who is a former aide to Royce.

The lack of an endorsement for Cisneros has generated speculation that Obama did not endorse him because of sexual harassment accusations against Cisneros by an unsuccessful candidate for state Assembly, Melissa Fazli. Cisneros has denied those harassment accusations.

On Saturday, Obama appeared on stage with Cisneros and noted work he has done, as a philanthropist, with former First Lady Michelle Obama on her “Reach Higher” initiative focused on encouraging students to get a higher education.

“Me standing right next to the President shows everybody he’s behind me…and I think it erases any doubts he’s not going to support me,” Cisneros said after Obama’s speech.

In the 48th district, which runs along the coast from Seal Beach south to Laguna Niguel, incumbent Republican Rep. Dana Rohrabacher and challenger Harley Rouda are virtually neck-in-neck, according Friday’s New York Times poll.

Rohrabacher has drawn the most notoriety in recent months for his pro-Russia views. He won re-election handily in 2016, by nearly 17 percent. Rohrabacher, 71, has served in Congress for 30 years.

Rouda, 56, was a registered Republican for several years before running for office and donated to Ohio GOP Gov. John Kasich’s presidential campaign. The New York Times noted Rouda, who is endorsed by Obama, is not the only former Republican to register as a Democrat and run for Congress this year.

In the 49th district, which is mostly within San Diego County, but includes a portion of south Orange County, Obama has endorsed Mike Levin, an environmental attorney who faces Republican Diane Harkey, a member of the state Board of Equalization and former state assemblywoman.

Presidential approval ratings are a strong indicator of how a party will fare in midterm congressional elections, and Democrats are hoping discontent with the current president will deliver them a majority in the House.

Trump’s most recent approval ratings was 41 percent, according to Real Clear Politics, which averages results from several polls nationwide.

A February 2018 poll conducted by Gallup found 63 percent of Americans approve of how Obama handled his presidency. When he left office in January 2017, his approval rating was 59 percent, according to Gallup.

Obama last visited Orange County in 2014, to deliver the commencement address at a graduation ceremony for the University of California, Irvine.

Orange County also is home to Laguna Niguel attorney and dentist Orly Taitz, who is known for filing a federal lawsuit to prevent Obama from taking office in 2008 based on the false argument that he was born in Kenya, not Hawaii as his official birth certificate shows.

District Court Judge David O. Carter – who is now presiding over a federal lawsuit about homelessness in Orange County – ruled against Taitz in a scathing 2009 ruling. 

Obama has also endorsed three other California congressional candidates: Josh Harder, who is running against Republican Rep. Jeff Denham in the 10th district in the Central Valley; T.J. Cox, running in the 21st district, also in the Central Valley, against Republican Rep. David Valadao; and Katie Hill in the 25th District, located in Los Angeles and Ventura counties, against incumbent Republican Rep. Steve Knight.

Thy Vo is a staff reporter covering races in the 39th and 45th congressional districts. Spencer Custodio is a staff writer covering the 48th and 49th congressional district races. You can contact Thy at tvo@voiceofoc.org and Spencer at scustodio@voiceofoc.org.

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