#good to see how much the game has gone through a metamorphosis from the beginning

[shroudkeeper]

After ten years of playing this game, it is awesome to see how much they have developed and changed the MMO landscape. Dawntrail is possibly my last expac, but I am glad I have stuck around to see a game that was nearly shelved come back to life - and to be a part of that! I come from FFXI, and if you are a vet of that game you already know how difficult of an MMO that was at times to earn money, to keep from delevel, or even travel from one point to another. It made it super engrossing though despite how much time it took to do things.

That is the reason I sort of stayed away from 1.0 because I wasn't sure if I could devote time to this like I did in my early 20s - but ARR lured me in and I have been playing since. I will miss this game the stories I created and what the dev team has woven for us, and the friends I made throughout my adventures exploring the world and wonderful tales, but I am excited to see these graphic updates, the new stories, and the beautiful music they will provide to us.

[cloudcover23]

Two Princes Season 3 Episode 7 Reactions:

< Episode 6

Okay. Last episode of The Two Princes ever. Here we go. I'm not crying. You're crying.

Scottish dude is devastated with the rest of us.

Rupert and Darling will NOT be the Two Princes

Write a letter to Spotify and Gimlet and KCS and EVERYONE INVOLVED

Rupert is walking up to the gauntlet

He's not scared!

Despair > fear. I like that honestly

You can't talk him down because Rupert already has all these thoughts in his head all the time. He's used to dealing with it and pushing forward.

Rupert song!

He's so emotional you guys! My baby!

Omg his voice.

All us Heartlanders are linked arms with Rupert. Backing him up.

I'm not as emotional as I thought I'd be…

Nope. Never mind. Flashbacks. Get me every time. Here come the waterworks!

This is it you guys. The last episode. They've come so far! MY BABIES

He's telling us (the fans) that even though they're going to be gone we'll always carry them in our hearts. I'm going to miss you Rupert!

Rupert has gone through so much. You can't tear him down because he's been torn down his whole life and keeps getting back up.

Omg is that him vocalizing behind the flashbacks? Beautiful.

Ahhh! The flashbacks when Amir calls him Fitz

Wait, how is the Despair fading? Idk how this magic works…

Broken magic sound effect

Okay, where is everyone? Tell me that when the despair went away that everyone came back. Please??

Magical fanfare!

They're popping up!

Achievement unlocked!

AMIR!!!!

Hold each other!

Porridge and Fitzroy reunion!

So are all the people from the Northern kingdoms there too?

Set some more seats for the wedding!

Percy! Such a good knight!

Joan is happy!!

Joan's approval!

Joan's face is smashed in Percy's hug… Percy is taller than Joan

Percy can't swim?

KISSING A BOY!!!

We called it y'all!

Joan's dad! Reconciliate!

Good apology Brutus.

Go to her Joan

Fire breathing goblin? Is that what the thing looked like?

Lol, she hasn't been paying attention… classic Cecily. I guess she wasn't in any of the scenes where they talked about the end of the world or the despair thing.

Tell her Joan.

Cecily. Come on strong? You?

DATE!

Cecily is squeeing

Good question Cecily. Standards!

SHUT UP AND KISS ME!! JECILY STYLE!! SOMEONE CALLED IT!!

Warm your cockles… I could make a dirty joke. I really could. I really want to.

Ronnie chuckles

RECONCILIATE

What is the Chamberlain Barabbas ship name?

They holding hands

CHAMBERLAIN FINDS LOVE!

Wenceslaus isn't too happy.

Domestic family song in the background

ADOPT HIMMMMM

Omg Amir is game!

Like, I don’t think they should be parents right away… but I do like this.

Darling came back

Darling wants to start taking responsibility for his actions. Percy just went through that metamorphosis. Maybe they could help… each… other… DARCY FOR LIFE

Oh no he still got that happiness curse

Oh the fairy just swoops in? Convenient.

Poof! Magic fairy!

Tiny mortals. Is she giant?

She was watching everyone die.

I'm a victim. You're a victim. Everyone's a victim.

I don't like this fairy.

Lots of harm. Lots of foul.

So nice.

She's a sucker for happy endings… except she was watching everyone die…

Rolls her 'r's

This is… so convenient.

Yah, Rupert is confused just like me.

Love saves the day. *eye roll* I mean okay fine.

DON’T BLESS THEM YOU SCHEMEING FAIRY

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

"You still want to marry me?" "try and stop me" That could have been fluffier. I guess we needed a break from all the heartfelt interactions?

Wedding bells!

Weddings instantly make me cry.

Chamberlain is officiating. Perfect. He was the one who started it all. I always wondered if he knew what the prophecy really meant? Or before the attacking forest cut him off was he going to tell Rupert that when he gets to the hollow that he needs to kill the other prince?

East and West and Heartland. Are they not all one country now?

Okay, what tradition are they getting married under? I assume the East and the West have different ones. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TRADITIONAL??

Mawiage! Skip to the end! Have you da wing?

Despite his need to micromanage! LOL

Their tear-filled eyes looking at each other. Hands clasped between them. Smiling. In front of everyone. Omg this is happening

Propensity to overreact!

Lord Chamberlain of the Heartland!

He crying y'all

"bring those big beautiful lips over here my love" I… hated that…

THEY HUSBANDS!!!

Can't wait for tonight!? Boys! This a kids show! (lol, Amir's little "oh yeah" I can't)

Omg Rupert’s speech about living a full life together. I love it.

NOT ENOUGH MUSHY STUFF. WHO SAID THERE WAS TOO MUCH MUSHY STUFF??

Happy beginning! TOTALLY A THING.

Air punches

Another song! How did I not see that coming?

Take that booty to the dance floor Amir

Doing the Carlton dance to this

This is so happy!

Belt it!

Wence is in there too!

Please don't end.

No credits no.

Please.

I love this story. I love these princes. Thank you guys.

[allsassnoclass]

the closest i’ve ever been to the heart of everything

Ficmas Day 9

Pairing: Calum Hood/Roy English 

Rating: General Audiences

Key Tag(s): New Years, introspection

Word Count: 1700

Read on AO3

—

The first morning of 2021 in the Hood-English household.

—

2021 arrives quietly in the Hood-English household.  Neither of them have plans, one last difference that 2020 has prompted in their lives, so they sit with Duke in the living room and turn on the radio, breaking out cards and board games to tide them over until the clock finally ticks over to a new day, new month, and entirely new year.  They cheer in the new one and curse out the old one loud enough for Duke to give them both reproachful looks for interrupting his sleep, then Roy heads to bed.  Calum has a few phone calls and video messages to send and respond to, throwing his love and well-wishes out into the world with a sigh of relief and hope for a brighter future.  Roy’s entire world is contained in that living room, and the rest of the universe knows that he has infinite time to make connections and spread light, something which he is more inclined to do early in the morning than late at night.

Duke follows him into the bedroom and flops down on his bed, unaware of how momentous this moment is for his two humans and everyone else who has been desperate to see 2020 go.  Roy is asleep by the time Calum joins him.

The first morning of 2021 begins in darkness for Roy.  He and Calum had left the house the day before to watch the last sunset of 2020, and Roy feels that it’s important for him to see the dawn break on the new year.  Calum had not been so keen, but that’s okay.  As much as he loves sharing bits of himself with Calum, it’s also important to keep standing on his own feet and meet the future head-on, and Calum will still be here, sleeping peacefully and contentedly by the time he gets back.

His hair is a tangled mess against the pillow.  He keeps saying that he wants to cut it, but he hasn’t yet, despite Roy offering to help do it at home.  Secretly, Roy thinks he enjoys knowing that he doesn’t need to particularly take care of it and be visible now.  Over the course of quarantine, Roy has watched him relax into himself more than he already had, giving himself time to exist without the pressures of being an international celebrity or strict schedules that sometimes come with the band.  They both have been on parallel tracks of self-discovery, taking steps on different paths while still holding hands, and it’s been one of the bright spots of the year.

Roy slips out of their house and begins his run.  The city wakes up around him in that hazy way that LA is prone to do, never fully asleep yet always groggy in the early hours, and the further from the heart of it he gets, the lighter the sky becomes around him.  He pauses where he would typically loop back towards home and looks up, sky a beautiful blend of yellows, pinks, and reds, slowly and steadily chasing away the dark desperately clinging to the day.  He closes his eyes and breathes in the energy of fresh starts and a bright sun, letting it fuel him for the way home.

Calum still isn’t awake when he returns, just like he expected, but Duke greets him at the door.  He lets him out to do his business and fills his food and water so Calum won’t have to worry about it, then slips into a quick shower.  It was cold out there this morning, winter permeating across California and here to stay for a while, but they have a gas fireplace that’s warm, and he grabs a journal and turns it on, taking a seat on the floor near it.  His morning mediation is brief today, but it does the trick.  Deep, slow breaths center him, helping him come back to inner alignment, and he rids himself of any tension and focuses his thoughts toward openness to the universe and whatever the new year might bring.  He is constantly trying to improve, but despite the made up classifications of dates and years it’s still nice to feel like there’s a starting point, especially when so many people need it right now.  A new year always breeds a thrumming, united, optimistic energy.  It reassures people that the future can be better, and Roy plans to continue harnessing that energy for the rest of his life.

When he’s done meditating, he picks up the journal.  Duke had joined him in the living room at some point while he had his eyes closed, resting his head on his paws.  He’s used to the rhythm they developed during quarantine, patient in the time between his breakfast and Calum taking him for a walk.  Roy feels like, in a way, he’s learned a lot from Duke this year.  Dogs find simplistic joy in so many things, not needing a lot to maintain their happiness, just love and companionship.  Duke has basked in Calum’s affections this year, overjoyed to have both humans in the house for the longest consecutive time.

Of course, Roy has also been basking in Calum’s presence this year.  It’s been the longest time they’ve been able to spend together since they met, and Calum’s presence has been priceless.

If Roy could summarize his past year in one word it would be growth.  He’s grown as an individual, more than he thought he would, and he’s witnessed growth and metamorphosis in so many people around him, too.  The human race as a whole has been through tremendous growing pains this year, in a way that makes him excited for the future.  None of that comes close to the growth he has experienced with Calum as a pair.

One of the many wonderful things about Calum is his complete support of positive transformation.  Roy has never felt anything but love and steady reassurance from him.  He is a great listener and has never laughed at Roy for his ideas and thoughts, and he understands the value of silence.  Silences with Calum never have to be filled, but somehow he always feels closer to him after an afternoon of separate existence and an evening of quiet company.  Growth happens in those tacit moments, but they also happen in the loud and obnoxious ones that they share, or the joyful laughter that Roy always manages to catch from Calum.

He would have gone insane without Calum around to keep him grounded, a strong anchor when he gets too close to floating away, and he knows that Calum appreciated his presence, too.  Being with Calum makes Roy feel the closest he ever has to his authentic self, a combination of all of the people Roy has been in the past and all of the ones he wants to be in the future whittled down to a singular being in the present.  It would make him uneasy to think that they’ll have to part ways again when tours finally restart if he didn’t know that music was what they’re meant to do.  

Besides, they have an unbreakable bond.  Roy wouldn’t have gotten a matching tattoo with him if he didn’t know even as early as Bali that Calum would be the most important person in his life.

Calum contains too many multitudes to try to journal about, so Roy turns his attention back to the new year and articulates what he wants to see in 2021.  For the most part, the things he writes down are simple.  Once he notices himself talking in circles, he squeezes his last thoughts out until he has no words left, then sets down his pen and checks the time.

Calum will be getting up soon.  It’s time for breakfast.

Roy has never claimed to be a master chef, but he orders pastries that Calum likes and warms some hash browns.  Toast goes in the toaster and fruit gets cut up, arranged into neat lines on a cutting board with a copious amount of blueberries because it’s the one they both like best.

Calum enters the kitchen right before the hash browns are done, dashing Roy’s hopes of giving him breakfast in bed.

“Morning,” Calum says, voice sleep-raspy.

“Happy New Year,” Roy says.  Calum hums appreciatively, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he passes, heading for the coffee pot.

“Coffee's on the counter,” Roy says.  “I got your usual order.”

Calum switches directions, noticing the rest of breakfast laid out.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I figured we’d start the year out right.”

Calum hums again, popping a blueberry into his mouth while Roy takes the hash browns off the heat and gets toast on their plates.  They move to the breakfast nook, located in a ray of morning sun that Roy always sits facing since Calum doesn’t like to squint into it.  Duke takes his place at their feet, eagerly awaiting any food droppings and greeting Calum in the same move.

Calum will end up giving him some toast.  That’s why Roy gave him two pieces instead of just one.

“What are you manifesting for the new year?” Calum asks after he has profusely thanked him for breakfast and eaten a good portion of it.  “More growth?”

Roy marvels at how well Calum knows him and the seamless way they understand each other.

“Yeah.  I want us all to continue awakening and expanding.  What about you?”

“I’m not sure yet,” he says.  “Give me the day to think on it.”

Roy nods.  He can give Calum all the time in the world.

“Do you really think this year will be better?” Calum asks.

“Yes,” Roy answers immediately.  “We can make it better.”

Calum smiles softly, taking another blueberry.

“I like your optimism,” he says.  “You make me have faith in us.”

Roy smiles back at him, an answer that Calum can read easily.  Roy has already told him that being with Calum keeps that faith in humanity growing.  He is an optimist because Calum gives him evidence of the good in the universe every day.  Another year with both of them together can only continue to breed good things, no matter what happens around them.

[readingontheredcouch]

Leviathan Falls speculations: How is the Expanse book series going to end?

Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk if you haven’t finished all the 8 books of the Expanse series yet!

With the title of the final instalment revealed at long last, we have received quite a substantial clue as to the possible ending of the Expanse series.

In order to understand the above statement better we need to step back and examine what one of my favourite writers, Kurt Vonnegut, considered his prettiest contribution to culture (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/02/09/kurt-vonnegut-graphed-the-worlds-most-popular-stories/). In a largely forgotten master’s thesis he wrote, while studying anthropology, he identified a hand full of core patterns in storytelling. The patterns are summarized as follows:

Man in a Hole

The main character gets into trouble then gets out of it again and ends up better of for the experience. Book example: Arsenic and Old Lace

Movie example: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Boy Meets Girl

The main character comes across something wonderful, gets it, loses it, then gets it back forever.

Book example: Jane Eyre

Movie example: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Creation Story

In many cultures’ creation stories, humankind receives incremental gifts from a deity. First major staples like the earth and sky, then smaller things like sparrows and cell phones. Not a common shape for Western stories, however.  

Old Testament

Humankind receives incremental gifts from a deity, but is suddenly ousted from good standing in a fall of enormous proportions.

Book example: Great Expectations, Flowers for Algernon

New Testament

Humankind receives incremental gifts from a deity, is suddenly ousted from good standing, but then receives off the charts bliss.

Book example: Great Expectations with Dickens’ alternate ending

Cinderella

It was the similarity between the shapes of Cinderella and the New Testament that thrilled Vonnegut for the first time in 1947 and then over the course of his life as he continued to write essays and give lectures on the shapes of stories.

From Bad to Worse

The main character starts off poorly then gets continuously worse with no hope for improvement

Book example: The Metamorphosis

TV example: The Twilight Zone  

Which Way is Up?

The story has a lifelike ambiguity that keeps us from knowing if new developments are good or bad.

Book example: Hamlet

TV Example: The Sopranos

So let’s look at the Expanse series from this point of view. Apart from some impressively creative sci-fi and blasting off the page in space action, what did actually happen in the eight books so far?

Well, not much actually. In the beginning of the first book humanity comes in contact with the technology of a long gone far superior alien race. Over the course of the next eight books humanity tries to deal with the new reality. Immense possibilities literally open up through the ring-gates, science is advanced hundreds of years in a very short period of time. Sure, politics, logistics, law and regulatory affairs, all need to adjust. And the way humanity once again copes with change and uncertainty through the tried and true mechanism of crime, war and terrorist attacks, in the end amounts to a brilliant thought experiment and a truly enjoyable read. However, as the main theme of the Expanse series, I think we can agree that ‘humankind receives incremental gifts from a deity’ is the most fitting main theme.

So where do we go from here? Well, the destruction of the Earth by Marco Inaros and the Free Navy has caused a downwards slope in the pattern eliminating the Creation Story outcome, which in any case wasn’t a very likely scenario. So now only the Old and New Testament patterns remain. Is it going to be off the charts bliss for humanity and the crew of the Rocinante or a fall of enormous proportions? As much as I would like for the series to have a happy ending, I don’t think that off the charts bliss is a likely outcome here. Let me explain why I think that the Old Testament pattern is probably the most fitting for the Expanse series. First of all I think that he destruction of the Earth in Nemesis Games sealed the deal on the possibility of a positive outcome and marked a distinctive downward spiral in the story pattern development. There is just no coming back from the destruction of the home world for any species, and in particular such a vulnerable and pampered carbon life form as we are. But any hope for a positive outcome that still remained was shattered by the reveal of the title of the final installment: Leviathan Falls. Here we see a distinctive and downward pattern compared to the Leviathan Wakes of the first book. Not to mention the fact that Leviathan is a primordial sea snake of the Old Testament. I am actually beginning to wonder whether the James S.A. Corey writers didn’t give away too much at this point in time. Finally, looking at the cultural context wherein the Expanse series have been created, for as many of my favourite writers have said before, science fiction is a representation of the present and  not the future, and without going into too much details, I don’t think a truly happy ending is possible considering the current state of the world we are living in. The writers will probably want to caution us against hubris and discord and will want to provide a silver lining, while mirroring the bleak state of affairs nowadays.  

So what plot developments are possible within the Old Testament, or as I like to think about it, the Flowers for Algernon story pattern framework?

I think the most likely scenario is that the gates are going to close for good, cutting the Solar System off from the colonised worlds. The gates have been malfunctioning ever since they first opened, so that definitely isn’t that far of a plot stretch. What is left of humanity will have to rebuild the Solar System in dreadful conditions and without the resources of the home planet. This is going to be a daunting and dangerous task, but the silver lining in this outcome is that due to the loss of the Earth humanity will become more tolerant and more equal than ever before in its history. The Earther, Martian and Belter division is going to disappear and humans will resemble a classless society for the first time in history. So that is definitely a change for the better. And what about our crew? Wherever they are going to end up, if alive, they are going to learn to live with their own renewed insignificance. Not a very appealing end for a bunch of already old heroes. That is why I think that we will have to say good bye to at least some additional members of our beloved crew in a similar fashion we already did to Bobbi Draper.

And what about the colonies? As we have learned time and time again, most of the colonies weren’t self-sufficient enough to survive without the commodity influx of the Solar System yet. So most of the colonies will probably die, with a very few colonists surviving in extremely primitive conditions. Now I am merely speculating, but the evolution will probably run its course until in a million years the new humans will find a remainder of the alien technology, will discover the ruined Earth, the extinct Solar System and will wonder what unknown enemy could have ever conquered such a superior species. And just like that looking forward has provided us with a possible explanation of how the alien technology ever came to be in the Solar System in the first place and what unknown enemy has tempered with the ring-gates and caused the extinction of the alien race. For if we know how the Free Navy has demolished the Earth, is it such a stretch to imagine that the superior alien race has destroyed itself from within as well? And that the superior alien race was no more and no less than a previous installment of humanity itself?

in any case I can’t wait for the book to come out in 2021! I have already made some space on my shelf :)

[twimclabel]

EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN

Swedish singer, songwriter, producer and filmmaker, Jonna Lee, brings the evolution of her ten-year creative career to a new peak with the release of her maiden ionnalee offering, EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN on 16 February 2018 on To whom it may concern. and Kobalt Music.

A studio album and, in due order, a stand-alone filmic counterpart (co-created with cinematographer, John Strandh, in alliance with fashion and art trail-blazers, COMME des GARÇONS), this is the most ambitious project which the Stockholm-based master of audiovisual artistry has embarked on.

Two years and two albums into a solo endeavour as a guitar- wielding folk’n’roller, 2009 saw Jonna Lee beginning a seminal metamorphosis which would lead her to join forces with best friend and long-term producer, Barbelle a.k.a Claes Bjorklund, in creating the organically viral, electronic pop phenomenon that is iamamiwhoami.

A mystery and a riddle, iamamiwhoami’s visuals-backed clue trail of short, sharp, gratifying musical shockwaves stumped fans and the media alike. It formed a gripping guessing game, which enticed audiences to explore its dark, elusory storyline. Moreover, as an entity still in its nappy days, iamamiwhoami’s real-time work process also meant that its cast of creatives’ initial decision to remain anonymous unintentionally caused a frenzy around the question of who was behind the surprise releases (Christina Aguilera and Karin Dreijer were but two of many suspects).

The group’s three ground-breaking audiovisual works [bounty (2010, digital); kin (2012); and BLUE (2014)] served as Jonna Lee’s vehicle for change, through which she has kept challenging limitations and untethering inhibitions in favour of development and innovation. The iamamiwhoami Youtube channel has, since its inception, garnered over 42,300,000 views and in 2011 - even before its first physical release - the group was awarded Innovator Of the Year Award at the prestigious Swedish Grammis.

In the three-act play of Jonna Lee’s creative voyage to date, whereby her late-noughties solo albums planted the inciting incident and iamamiwhoami provided a riveting plot twist, the artist’s debut as ionnalee ushers in the exhilarating climax, letting all that’s gone before culminate in an opus that honours the past, whilst simultaneously devising a recalibrated, fresh future.

EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN evokes thoughts about what drives an artist to create in a milieu brimful with people fighting to be seen and heard and to express themselves in ways that would single them out from others. With its eyes fixed firmly on the state of the world right now, this is a collection that concerns itself with what is the artist’s residual footprint, paralleled with people’s fear of oblivion.

As our generation pores over and pours into social media with a desire to leave as much of ourselves and our legacy out in the world – like a self-edited epitaph, to ensure that we are remembered and control how such remembrance is preserved - EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN explores the different fears and struggles we, as human beings, contend with. ionnalee has hers but, importantly, the songs are intelligently crafted so as to allow for the listener’s personal meaning to coexist.

Reflecting on her own perspective, ionnalee says: “I’ve been evaluating the role that’s cut out for me by society in general and the music business in particular, as to how I should look and behave, both as a woman and as an artist.” In shaping the record, ionnalee has been preoccupied with the experience of societal pressures on women, such as the inescapable normative push to become a mother, pitted against the professional pull of meeting the audience’s expectations of her as an artist.

A further premise underlining EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN is the theme of perception vs misconception when it comes to an artist’s work. “We live in a time where anyone can do anything”, ionnalee says, reflecting on the ever-growing prevalence of the audiovisual format. “It can be beautiful, when it’s done purely in pursuit of creative motifs, but in many situations it is only really done because of the current perception that just being a musician is no longer enough and the music has to be dressed to the nines in order to be heard. My visuals have always been part of my creation and, yet - frustratingly - they are still often being perceived strictly as a promotional tool.”

Fulfilling and transformative as it was, the hectic and exhausting, non-stop cycle of work since the inception of iamamiwhoami has, cumulatively, taken its toll on the musician, resulting in significant stress and periods of depression. “I’ve been burnt out”, she admits, ruminating on an invariably stringent schedule, exacerbated by the pressures of running her own independent record label. “The independence I have has enabled me to be bold and innovative as an artist but, by default, it also often makes the workload overwhelming.”

Never one to go for the easy option, however, ionnalee made a defiant choice: “I wanted to bring out my insecurities instead of my strengths.”

The most significant source of insecurity and fear has, ultimately, proved to hinge on ionnalee’s health, as a cancer scare, numerous medical screenings and a subsequent diagnosis of a thyroid disorder exposed a serious possibility of permanent damage to the singer’s vocal chords.

Facing that real risk of not being able to sing in the future and the fear of losing her most important way of self-expression, there arose in ionnalee an even greater drive to produce something special and perdurable with EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN. “The thought of not being able to sing had never occurred to me. That would be like losing my gut”, she says.

For ionnalee this record not only had to be made, but it had to be made now and it had to bring in elements of her history in order to open a door to a hopeful thereafter. “I wanted to see who am I in the present, as a solo artist. I want a lifespan career and, for that, I need to make sure I’m clear about who I am as an artist now.”

To do this, she decided that, along with the album’s brand new compositions, she would hark back to older sounds and song elements that, despite never previously being released, stand as pivotal stepping stones in her career. “I wanted to connect with the beginning of iamamiwhoami and the evolution I’ve gone through since”, she says.

An instance in point is brand new single, ‘GONE’, which keen-eared followers will recognise as a reconfiguration of the fourth, so-called (by fans) ‘PAPACHOO’, prelude, put out by iamamiwhoami in February 2010, as a minute-long taster for what eventually became their audiovisual album, bounty.

Epitomising the evolutionary process of ionnalee, ‘GONE’ adopts one of the foundation stones of her previous incarnation and transforms it into a bustling and infectious full song, whose lyrics tap directly into the core of EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN and its resounding themes: “the songs that you sung / and the words that you meant / will be here when you are gone”, she prophesies on the chorus, as the verses gesture at the initial media circus concerning her identity (“the wonder who I am”) and the turmoil surrounding her health (“this mouth on me /and this voice against time”; “this weakening noise /will fade softly to silence”).

The track begins by establishing the prelude’s signature bottle percussion as an underlying rhythmic device and the synth-led, dramatic Baroque nuance beautifully complements ionnalee’s vulnerable voice in creating dark Renaissance electronica. The majestic, sweeping chorus quickly lodges itself in the mind’s ear with an instant grab, whilst the middle 8 showcases a soaring vocal performance.

The video for ‘GONE’ was directed by ionnalee together with John Strandh and is a key chapter in the longer visual narrative arc supporting EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN.

The album’s first taster came in February 2017 with ‘SAMARITAN’, a blunt eschewing of other people’s demands and presumptions, over which the artist has no control. Boasting a big and immediate pop chorus, ’SAMARITAN’ feels tailor-made for a record that is often conscious of and rebels against what is expected.

“I don’t think people should feel secure in their expectations of me”, ionnalee says. This is, for example, why effervescent sophistidisco, ‘NOT HUMAN’ (which was co-written with Com Truise), comes to an abrupt, surprising end as though inadvertently paused and also why recent, contemplative single, ‘SIMMER DOWN’, doesn’t have a video (previously, every iamamiwhoami track had its own visual counterpart, collectively amounting to an all-encompassing series dating back to 2009, which follows one evolving storyline from beginning to end).

As a lover of beats, bass and drums, ionnalee’s favourite part of producing her own material has been making up the rhythm sections, thinking outside of her own comfort zone. “I’ve had to push myself to learn how to not only be a good creative mind, but also a good technical producer, to be able to make things sound like they sounded in my head”, she says.

In terms of the arrangements and the record’s sonic direction, ionnalee was fascinated and influenced by baroque composition, which fits in with the sense of it being something of a requiem: “I drew from my background in sacral choir singing and merged it with my other great loves, industrial and spectral synths and old school hip hop beats”, she says. “I wanted it to be an album to grieve to but there is a fairness and innocence to the sound, which makes it hopeful in midst of the darkness. Producing this work is a proud moment for me as a musician.”

Offering solace in grief, EVERYONE AFRAID TO BE FORGOTTEN is a labour of love emanating from introspection as well as self- awareness. As with every one of her endeavours, ionnalee again seeks to find and make something that is different. “The album format is regarded by many as a thing of the past”, she says, “with tracks being the primary way of consuming music.” Her vision, instead, is to make a sustainable and epic album that will endure, rather than something that is easily digested and spat out shortly afterwards. “An imprint that will stand with time”, as she describes it.

“I would like to view this as the beginning of the rest of my career. I want to grow my audience in my way, without compromising and without having to turn myself inside out. There’s a bigger, more personal weight for me with this record and much, much more at stake.”

words by Doron Davidson-Vidavski October 2017

PREORDER ALBUM

[midnightroseprincess]

An Analysis of an Underlying Meaning in Mad Hatter’s Line in the Infernal Train

Quite a long time ago when I first joined tumblr, I shared an aspect I found in Mad Hatter’s line to Alice in Alice: Madness Returns that I hadn’t seen anyone else bring up. Namely, what could have been an underlying message to Alice during their talk aboard the Infernal Train. 

While going through my Alice tag, I realized this post was apparently gone/deleted. This confuses me because I don’t remember deleting it myself. I’ll chalk it up to a probable tumblr glitch from way back. However, noticing it’s missing has put my thoughts on it back into focus, so I decided to revisit it in this post. 

Please bear in mind you obviously don’t have to agree upon this interpretation of Hatter’s line. The Alice games invite varied and unique interpretations, and I’m just putting mine out there to get it out of my own mind and share it with anyone who may find it interesting.

The line in question:

"Now we’re all mad here and that’s a good excuse for going to hell in a teapot, but not for forgetting what your senses saw. Forgetting is just forgetting, except when it’s not. Then they call it something else. I’d like to forget what you did. I tried... but I can’t."

Let’s discuss.

By "something else" that Alice did, he mainly means her ignorance towards what was going on around her in Houndsditch. Her own self-pity blinded her to the abuse the children of Houndsditch suffered right under her nose, as well as the fact that she was blind to Bumby’s true nature and role in her life due to repressing her memories. It’s the same thing the other Wonderlanders are taking her to task for, so it makes sense that Hatter also confronts her about it.

However, there can be another layer to this. Another action that Alice tends to do that effects Wonderland, regardless of outside influences, is ABANDON it. One might ask how she could have abandoned it if she was journeying through Wonderland to reclaim her sanity for ten years in Rutledge. To that I answer that if one goes back to the storybook app and her casebook, you’ll find there’s one year that she spent in Littlemore Infirmary recovering from her burns while in a state of unresponsive catatonia. During that one year of catatonia in the infirmary, she had no lapses in and out of Wonderland. Those only started happening once she was signed into Rutledge, and the White Rabbit beckoned her back.

During that one year at the Infirmary, Alice abandoned Wonderland. Instead of instantly going to it for comfort and shelter from her trauma, she just shut down and rejected the comfort it could have offered. I’m not saying it’s not understandable, because it is, given the shock and survivor guilt that was eating at her. However, the Wonderlanders, though they likely understand this, were still horrifically affected by the madness left to run rampant throughout Wonderland without Alice there to... regulate it, more or less. Unintentional or not, she abandoned them to their fate for a whole year.

If Alice had just forgotten them due the trauma of the fire, that would have been a slightly simpler thing for the Wonderlanders to deal with. As the Queen of Hearts states, “Not doomed: Forgotten. I may survive here...” So there’s a good chance that if Alice forgot the Wonderlanders, they’d likely still exist as they had before, unable to be warped by outside madness or influences, but obviously wouldn’t be as powerful as before and would be hidden deep in her subconscious. In a scenario such as this, I could imagine some of them trying to rekindle her memories of them here or there until she remembered them, at which point that might emerge out of hiding in Wonderland in all their unchanged glory to help battle the madness spreading in her mind.

However, that wasn’t what happened. She didn’t forget them. She just shut them out. So they were unprotected against the madness in her mind, which corrupted and warped some of them into very antagonistic characters.

Hatter is one of the higher examples of this. In the first game’s opening, we see Alice entering Wonderland in her dreams to be at one of the Hatter’s typical tea parties. It’s the Wonderlanders who first notice the smoke from the Liddell house fire leaking into Alice’s dreams, and the Hatter is the one who screams loudest at her to wake up. (It is after she wakes up and tries to find her parents that she hears them shouting at her to escape the fire, and she follows Dinah out of the window.)

Despite his part in saving her life, he is corrupted by the ensuing madness in Wonderland. Despite not being on good terms with time, his obsession with it and clockworks distorts him into someone who would willingly turn himself into an automaton and try to do the same to his unwilling best friends.

When Alice returns to Wonderland in the first game, she’s focused on herself and not particularly those she helps. She’s very curt and rude to those helping her (such as toward the Gnome Elder when they looked for a shrinking potion or the Mock Turtle’s general downtrodden-ness.) When she encounters the Hatter, it’s after he’s killed the White Rabbit in front of her sometime earlier at the behest of the Queen, and she declines his invitation to tea, as she “only takes [her’s] with friends.” They’re foes, not friends. In culminates in her making his head explode in a boss battle in order to get his pocket watch that can stop time.

In the second game, she hasn’t gotten much better. She alludes to the abovementioned boss battle nonchalantly to Hatter when she finds his head in the garbage chamber of his factory: “I recall leaving you in a decrepit condition, but not in pieces. What’s happened here? You’ve lost your hat, and some... parts are missing.” That’s... quite an understatement, Alice. Despite the fact that this time Hatter’s on her side and even encourages her in battle when they go after the Dormouse and the March Hare, she’s still very curt and impatient with him. This culminates in Hatter dying as his factory falls around him, and Alice’s response? “Very pithy. He deserved to die.” Hatter deserved to die for not giving her a straight answer? When he’s the MAD Hatter? Harsh, Alice.

She’s also very insensitive to Mock Turtle yet again, though this time Mock has enough of a backbone to call her out on it: “You don’t respect the suffering of others. Go ask your questions and smart remarks to Caterpillar.” Again, mainly pointing out her willful ignorance of what’s going on at Houndsditch, but also her unintentionally cruel treatment of those in Wonderland.

Despite this unintentional cruelty and tendency to view them as a means to an end, they still help her despite not getting much thanks because they care about her. Hatter’s line in the Infernal Train is also telling her, on a deeper level, that they would have rather been forgotten by her than abandoned by her, because the latter hurt them so much worse.

Luckily, there’s enough hints in her lines that reveals she does still have some fondness and affection for the Wonderlanders. So I do have hope that post-madness returns, she may start to repair those friendships.

TL;DR: Aside from calling out her willful ignorance of her surroundings like the other characters, Hatter’s line in the Infernal Train also calls Alice out for abandoning Wonderland and then treating them unkindly despite the help they try to give her in her quests.

P.S. Since someone brought up Gryphon and Cheshire Cat on the original post way back, I’ll give my two cents on them again down here.

I think Alice actually did forget about Gryphon initially and only remembered him once she encountered Mock Turtle. Mock and Gryphon were close friends, and interacting with Mock would have sparked her memory of Gryphon. This would explain why Gryphon is just as she remembers him when they meet up, and he seems to be recently caught by the Hatter (untouched by Hatter’s automaton upgrades). It might also explain why he loses against the Jabberwock. Gryphon, as she remembers him from their interactions when she was younger, is noble, brave, and strong, but the Jabberwock is now the embodiment of her survivor guilt instead of the subject of a scary poem she encountered back then. It was that guilt that drove her to abandon Wonderland so she could wallow in said guilt to begin with, so obviously despite putting up a good fight, Gryphon fell. However, losing Gryphon gave her the strength to defeat her survivor guilt to reclaim that part of Wonderland and ensure that guilt would no longer control her.

Cheshire Cat was not forgotten. He has enough power to appear in the real world to protect and/or lead Alice into Wonderland (as mentioned in the casebook and shown in the cutscenes of Madness Returns), after all. This power probably comes from the amount of trust Alice has in him, since in her past, he was always the one who led her out of trouble during her Wonderland travels. She trusts him more than anyone else in Wonderland, despite their snarking at each other, and this gives him more real-world abilities than the others. (Caterpillar can appear in the real world as well, but only in Madness Returns, after his metamorphosis into a butterfly. Cheshire has had this power for years.) His loyalty to her was likely not warped by the madness throughout Wonderland because he generally makes it a point to temper his curiosity and hide from danger. So he likely avoided what warped the others’ allegiances. That said, he didn’t emerge unscathed, as his emaciated form shows. It’s his death via the Queen in the first game that helps Alice overcome her fear of the Queen by replacing it with the righteous anger needed to defeat her. In a very strange way, one could say Cheshire is Alice’s anchor in Wonderland, but that’s a topic for another day.