#good to know i guess but also kind of a bummer

[synesindri]

i'm sorry i keep talking about this but it's just alarming to me how stark my reaction to my recent attempt to get back into dating has been. like by all external measures it's going quite well; if i was having these kinds of conversations with these people as prospective friends or even prospective non-romantic hookups i think i'd be very pleased with them, but the fact that it's in a specifically dating context is making me so dysphoric (in a general way, not a gender way). like, i'm finding it difficult to get anything — even unrelated stuff — done today because the thought of trying to continue these chats is making me exhausted out of what has to be some kind of self-protective depression.

[raeathnos]

.

[theshift]

The Deal

It all started when I moved to a new city after college. I was lucky enough to land an entry-level job in HR, but the pay was dismal. Still, it was a fresh start—leaving my family and friends behind to carve out a new life. I knew that making friends quickly would be key to adjusting to this new chapter of my life, or I'd end up feeling pretty isolated. Fortunately, I hit it off with a coworker who invited me to play basketball at a local community group, and that's where I met Marco.

He caught my eye immediately—a man in his mid-forties, tall, fit, with a commanding presence. I played it cool, waiting for my coworker to introduce us. "Marco, meet my new friend Lukas," my coworker said. "He just moved here." Marco gave me a firm handshake, grinning. "Glad to have you, Lukas. But I’ve got one question—are you any good?"

I smirked, trying to play it cool. "Well, I guess you're about to find out."

I was humbled pretty quickly. Basketball was still new to me, and it showed. But Marco didn’t seem to care. Throughout the game, I’d catch him glancing at me, more interested in me than the game itself. As the game wrapped up, he called out smugly, "All talk for someone who didn’t even score once!" Exhausted and out of my depth, I just laughed. Afterward, Marco introduced me to his wife, Serena. They had been happily married for 21 years, since right out of college. It was a bit of a bummer finding out he was married, but I was happy to have found a group to hang out with—and Marco seemed really keen to get to know me.

Our friendship grew from there. We’d meet up sometimes for basketball practice, where he’d help me improve my skills. Eventually, our meetups turned into grabbing drinks together. Marco got me into craft beer, and as the months passed, we both started to open up. He told me about his life—how he owned a medical sales business, how well it was doing, and how he had two sons in college. He spoke glowingly of his wife, saying he knew he had met his soulmate. 

I shared my own struggles—how I was excited about starting my career, but also how tough it was financially. Marco gave me advice, encouraging me whenever I needed a boost.

One day, Serena was away on a business trip for the weekend, and Marco invited me over to watch a football game. After a couple of beers, Marco turned to me and, out of nowhere, said, "You know, Lukas, I’m kind of envious of you."

I blinked, surprised. "How come?"

He took another sip of his beer before responding. "No one knows this except you now, but... I’m bisexual. And while I’m grateful for the life I have, I’ve never had the chance to explore that side of myself. I wouldn’t ever jeopardize my marriage, but sometimes I do wish I could be with men."

I was stunned. I didn’t know what to say. Marco looked at me, gauging my reaction, before continuing. "I know this may sound crazy, but I trust you, and I want to ask you a favor. Hear me out before you decide, okay?"

Curiosity piqued, I nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

"What if there was a way for me to explore this side of myself without breaking up my family? If you were me, would you take it?"

I paused, considering his words. "Yeah... I guess I would."

He seemed relieved and leaned in a bit. "Okay, this is where things get... weird. I’ve never told anyone this, but I have the ability to shapeshift. And I want to switch places with you. Just for a month."

I stared at him, my mind struggling to process what I’d just heard. He wasn’t joking—his expression was dead serious. "Wait, what? How... how do you even do that?"

Marco smiled slightly, held out his hand, and said, "Let me show you."

Hesitant but intrigued, I reached out and shook his hand. Suddenly, a bright light flashed from his palm, scanning my body. He let go, rubbed his hands together, and I watched, dumbfounded, as an exact replica of my body appeared in his hands like a skin suit. 

I was speechless.

Marco chuckled at my reaction. "So... I guess you’ve seen me naked now," I joked, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened.

"Yeah... I guess I have," he laughed.

He led me upstairs and laid out his entire plan. For one month, we’d switch places. I’d live his life—run his business, spend time with his family—while he experienced life as me, exploring his bisexuality in secret. His shapeshifting ability allowed him to perfectly mimic anyone he’d scanned, down to the last detail.

"But there are a few rules," he explained. "First, you cannot sleep with my wife. Second, you have to follow the business plan I leave you—no changes. And third, spend time with my sons when they come home for winter break. I’ll help guide you through it all."

"Marco, this is... this is overwhelming. I’m not sure I can pull it off," I admitted.

"You can. I trust you. And to sweeten the deal, I’ll pay you $10,000 for the month."

Ten grand? My heart raced. With that kind of money, I could get myself out of debt and start saving. After a long pause, I finally agreed. We shook on it.

I spent the next day tying up loose ends in my life, preparing for the swap. When I returned, Marco opened another beer for me. "Okay, Lukas, any rules you want for me?"

"Yeah, a few. First, you need to go to work—don’t slack off on that. Second, check in with my friends so they don’t worry. And third, don’t ruin my reputation, okay? I still want a chance at meeting someone after this is all over."

"Got it," Marco nodded. "I’ll be respectful."

He led me upstairs again, and I watched as he scanned himself. Another skin suit appeared—this time, an exact copy of Marco. He handed it to me, the lifeless face staring back. "Now, here’s the fun part," he said. "You’re going to put it on. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

The idea of slipping into Marco's life—literally—was still hard to grasp. As Lukas stood there in Marco's bathroom, holding the lifeless suit in his hands, the weight of what he was about to do hit him again. The room felt colder, or maybe it was just the suit, its unsettling coldness radiating through Lukas' fingers. He stared at Marco’s face—blank, eyeless, but unmistakably Marco—like it was staring back at him, waiting to be worn.

He hesitated, then, with a deep breath, he slipped one foot into the opening at the suit’s back. The texture of the suit was strange, like cool, stretched skin. His toes felt icy as they sank into the hollow mold of Marco’s feet. He adjusted his foot until it nestled into the curve of Marco's arch, and the sensation was surreal. He repeated the process with the other foot, each movement deliberate, each step pulling him deeper into the shift.

As he pulled the suit up over his legs, the sensation changed—his thighs merged with Marco’s thicker, more muscular frame. His skin prickled as the cold transformed into a warmth that began to wrap around him, like the suit was responding to him, molding itself to his body. His hands trembled when he reached Marco's waist, hesitating as he pulled it over his own. The suit was snug, unnervingly intimate as it slid over him, conforming to his body like a second skin. Lukas took a sharp breath when his own body began to feel distant, swallowed by the suit.

When it reached his chest, the suit tightened. It compressed his torso, his own wiry frame disappearing as Marco’s broader chest settled into place. He ran his fingers over Marco's pecs, feeling the unfamiliar bulk. It was his touch, but not his body. He twisted slightly, and the suit shifted seamlessly with him, no gap, no seam—only Marco.

His arms came next. Lukas felt the power in Marco’s forearms, thicker than his own, veins more prominent. He flexed his new fingers, watching in awe as they responded just like his own, but the shape was completely different—Marco’s hands, rougher, stronger, experienced.

Finally, there was the face—the final piece. Lukas hesitated for a moment, his reflection staring back at him, half Marco and half Lukas. The difference between the two was stark, like seeing a stranger staring back at him. He lifted the faceless mask of Marco and, with trembling hands, positioned it over his own. 

The sensation was like nothing he had ever felt before. The suit clung to his face, cool and slick, stretching over his features and fusing with his skin. As the mask settled, the fit was eerily perfect. His vision blurred for a moment as the world seemed to shift, and when he blinked, he wasn’t sure who he was anymore. Marco’s face looked back at him from the mirror, alive and breathing. He touched his cheek, feeling the unfamiliar roughness of Marco’s stubble beneath his fingers, and then ran his hand through Marco’s dark hair.

It was more than just a change of skin. He was Marco now—physically, at least. Lukas tilted his head, watching the reflection mimic him, then smiled. It wasn’t his smile. Marco’s grin was wider, more confident, almost cocky. Lukas admired the reflection longer than he expected, tracing the contours of Marco’s jaw, the way his shoulders filled out his new body. It felt powerful—alien and yet exhilarating.

He spoke, "Hello, I'm Marco Gonzales." The voice was deep, gruff—Marco’s voice, not his own. It reverberated in his throat, strange and foreign, yet perfectly natural coming from his lips. The reflection in the mirror and Lukas phone's camera spoke back, reinforcing the illusion.

Lukas could hardly believe it. He stared for a long time, running his hands down the length of his new body, tracing Marco’s muscles and curves like they were his own, yet so foreign. His chest rose and fell with each breath, the weight of Marco's frame making each breath feel heavier, fuller. The bulk, the strength—it was intoxicating.

Once dressed, he headed downstairs, the weight of Marco’s shoes and clothes grounding him further in this new reality. As he descended, he saw himself—his old self—lounging casually on the couch, a sight that made his stomach churn in disbelief. His own face, his voice, speaking back at him.

“Took you long enough,” Marco—his old self—said with a laugh. “What do you think?”

Lukas sat down, still in awe of the situation. “This is... unbelievable. I can’t believe how real it feels.”

Marco—wearing Lukas’ skin—grinned. “Told you it’d be something. Now, for the next month, you’ll be Marco Gonzales.”

They both sat there for a moment, the reality of the swap settling in. It wasn’t just about wearing Marco’s skin. Lukas was about to live his life—take over his work, interact with his wife, his children, and the people Marco had built his life around. And Marco would be living Lukas' life, exploring the side of himself he’d kept hidden for so long.

“Tomorrow, you’ll go to work, meet my clients, handle my business,” Marco explained, leaning forward. “And don’t worry, I’ll be guiding you every step of the way. I’ll be checking in with you, making sure everything goes smoothly.”

Lukas nodded, still feeling the weight of the transformation. “And what about Serena?”

Marco’s face grew serious. “You’ll need to act like me around her, but remember our deal—no crossing that line. You’re in my life, but you’re not me. My family is off-limits.”

Lukas swallowed hard, nodding again. “I understand.”

But as the days passed, things began to get complicated. Wearing Marco’s skin was one thing, but living his life was entirely different. The demands of his business, the constant pressure of pretending to be someone he wasn’t, started to weigh on Lukas. And then there was Serena—sharp, intuitive, and far more aware of the changes in “Marco” than Lukas anticipated. She questioned him constantly, sensing that something wasn’t quite right, and Lukas had to think quickly to keep the charade going.

Meanwhile, Marco was enjoying his time as Lukas—perhaps a little too much. He dove into the freedom of Lukas' life with reckless abandon, hitting bars, meeting men, and living without the weight of his responsibilities. And though he promised not to tarnish Lukas’ reputation, Lukas started to hear whispers, rumors about “himself” that made him question how much control Marco really had.

The month dragged on, and by the time the swap was supposed to end, both men had changed in ways they hadn’t anticipated. For Lukas, living as Marco had awakened something inside him—a sense of confidence and control he’d never felt before. And for Marco, the experience of freedom had reignited a desire for something he couldn’t fully grasp, something that his life couldn’t provide.

But when it came time to switch back, Marco wasn’t ready to let go.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Summer Games BLgin.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Those Greeks did have that reputation for naked dudes rolling around together so I'm declaring it...

BL OLYMPICS!

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates through mid August, just for funzies.

July 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - I guess mass murder is nothing next to having to raise funds for your basketball club. There were a lot of water sports in these eps (no not that kind). I’m not complaining. The street BB playoffs were fun. Frank is GOOD. I didn’t know he played. They aren’t using doubles for this. Meanwhile, it’s a bummer this one can’t be a poly romance. 

Winner!

Gold in Handball

for that shower scene in ep 9 (also... ya know, DUNK TANKS)

Balls in hands of all types.

Briefly must chat about that intro/outro music. It's like Thai autotuned Stray Kids. Which means I kinda adore it.

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 5-6 of 10 - I guess he’s had a long time to learn how to fight really really well. This is a fun show. It does occasionally feel like a bunch of gay boys playing dress up. I LIKE P’Third a lot. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be an actual baddie. I’m finding the music a little intrusive in these episodes. I love the deconstructed suits look, and the velvet blazer. Very 90s. The confessions scene was very cute. It’s a good thing Vee is so easy-going, because the last few months of his life have been truly insane. And now he’s queen of the castle? Still working his convenience store job?

I honestly thought we'd just get kisses halfway through not a full on sex scene. But it was very sweet and tender. Appreciated, boys, thanks. However it’s never a good sign when the sex scene is it at the halfway point, it just means there’s gonna be a lot of trauma to come.

(I gotta say every time Daou smiles he actually looks his age.) 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I like them now. I mean as a pair of characters. I wasn’t really sold on the main couple until this episode, and now I’m interested (yes I am shallow). The boy with the glasses is definitely sus. I’m quite drunk, thus I have to say Sailub is the hottest thing on my screen right now. Metas's taste in interior design sucks. OK, that physical therapy session was sexy. I wasn’t sold at first, but now I love this side couple too.

Argh. SailubPon kiss so well. Also COUNTER LIFT!!!! 

Silver in Weightlifting

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I’m the one who always says this stuff, but this pair might be the best at relationship heat. Let me try to explain. They are good at putting on screen the kind of NRE, want to bone, just really into each other physically and also connected and loving. It’s the way their bodies always arch towards each other. They’re very comfortable in each other’s space in a way that’s really rare to see out of Any BL country but Taiwan. I think they might be my favorite couple currently active. I don’t know how to put it except that

it looks like they want each other,

it looks like they like each other,

it looks like they’re into each other,

and it looks like they GET each other.

It’s nice to see on screen. The plots/stories/narratives that they're given aren’t doing them any favors, but man they’re a good pair. Meanwhile, was I screaming the whole time don’t rip the sample of the custom piece? Yes I was. But it was still sexy.

Sam getting discovered was fun! Yo is gonna burn his arse good.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Okay! Officially boyfriends. I almost like the friendship btw Atom and Mudmee better than the romances. But they all so cute. 

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I hate the gf intern so much. I think she is past redemption now - time for death. What is it they say about ADs? they do all the work, for none of the credit but all of the blame.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I guess Peak’s dad really is that awful. Jane is the beard? Got it. The show got suddenly quite sweet and complex. Where did that come from? Meanwhile ,Almond + Latte + sex education is awesome. Great trope we rarely get in BL. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Look, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with the show. I like to be driven one way or the other by Meme. Trash watch here. (delayed this week, I can't face it)

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 12 - Out the gate I don’t like it. I don’t really like the teasing thing and the acting is poor. That said, neck kisses in the very first episode do make me happy. So I’m gonna keep watching. As for ep 2, I like the sides, and we have gay brothers trope activated. I also like the paranormal element, it adds some much-needed tension, but it is still a little slow (typical of a pulp).

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like our poor lost puppy slowly figuring out what’s going on. It’s so elegantly done. Also, the the boy begs his quiet seme to SAY something, you know he’s gonna DO something instead. 

I could have done wihtout the pan around the head kiss. We over that, 8 years ago.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Why don’t I like this show? I had to think about it quite a bit. It’s the power differential. I never enjoy it when the character with less power is the one doing the pursuing, it comes off as too desperate or something. In this case he is: from the country, poor, and younger, It just makes Takara’s dismissive attitude and snobbery unpleasant to watch. Also, you know me, =/= obsessive stalker behavior. 

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) ep... - Great, a rich boy studying business at uni, suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I try to catch up next week.

I have a source, but I simply didn’t have time to watch it. So sorry. Too much traveling too much BL to keep up with. A perfect conflation of conflicting priorities.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

64.media.tumblr.com

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up Next!

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return, and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: the premise? Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

8/4 Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please Gaga pick this one up? They made it for US.

8/7 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Weds ????) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sex by blackmail. I am intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs WeTV ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This week's adventures in caption "out of" and "off" are not the same thing. This is an uncomfortable thought.

I'm so tired I'm seeing double. This is all you get.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves) )

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[yonpote]

mr. pote please explain shoe ig story for the ignorant (me)

not much to explain other than. dan posted an instagram story of their shoes pressed together

ok i guess ill share a LITTLE context. around late january to early february 2023 was when dan was having a mini-break from touring for philly's bday before he had to hit the road for the non-uk european shows. the thing is, there were kind of a lot of complications happening wrt tickets, especially problems surrounding the iceland show, which dan had hyped up as where he was going to end the tour, and pj even mentioned on stream that he and sophie would possibly meet dan and phil there and have essentially a double date holiday! the day before the Shoe Pic, dan had announced that the iceland show was cancelled. he posted the cancellation on his story in icelandic, here is the english translation:

Sorry for the frozen people. Couldn't bring this show to your island this trip, that's all I can say for now. It's on my bucket list to be with you one day. I'll see you then.

he then posted an ig story where he seemed to be out on a walk that was quite self-deprecating on the fact that no one takes him seriously "in life, business, or the industry." it was just a bummer day for dan. so a few twitter phannies (back when there was a Little peace) thought to make an encouraging hashtag for dan, #weloveyoudan to show some appreciation for him when he really seemed to need it! (this also spawned an in-joke hashtag my good friend @editingz0ne made, #giveamazingphilnukes, that phil tweeted about 💀)

so the next day, when dnp had both posted while at an apex legends esports competition thing, we all kinda inferred that this was a lil date, possibly as another phil bday present (still his bday week) or as a lil gift to cheer dan up, or both! and then. he posted the fuckin shoe pic.

listen. idk how to explain it. it just. felt like something so weirdly intimate? like, no idea what the context is, other than theyre sitting in the back of a cab and took a photo of their shoes pressed together. and like one is clearly phil's shoe and the other clearly dan's shoe, and i assume theyre the same shoe size (do not tell me wikifeet ppl i dont need to know) and so they just. fit perfectly together. and all this was after the harrowing previous day, and after all that dan just decided to let us in on this picture that is so silly and not really anything and yet feels so personal? its like when we hear their alien language in the texting vids, or that they get fries every saturday and call it "fry-day". like its not a bit its not playing up a dynamic for a camera its just. THEM! its just them!!!!!!!! anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk on the dan and phil shoe photo taken on february 5th, 2023 by dan howell.

[elliespuns]

hello!! first of all, i don't intend to say this as a way to create a fuss or anything like that, i just see your blog as a space where we can debate a lot of tlou related topics and i want to know your opinion about it :-) anyways, while i did enjoy the hbo series, i also think it was very flawed in translating both joel and ellie's personalities - but i want to focus on joel's atm.

i don't think joel is "insensitive" on the game, but i do believe the fact that he tried so hard to hide his feelings and barely ever showed his soft side is a SUPER important characteristic of his.

i don't mind the way pedro played joel but at the same time i just cannot see both of them as the same man. and i don't talk only about the scenes where joel was visibly anxious or cried, but also the torture scene. i think it is one of the most iconic scenes on the game (also, I'm the one who asked you to take pics of it a couple weeks ago LOL) specially cause it shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much.

i think pedro was more than capable to play a joel that is both too much of a father figure for his own good AND a tough son of a b*tch that can and will kill people with his bare hands to protect whatever is important to him.

from my point of view, crying during the "i saved her" scene is really out of character for game joel. when the guy just confesses he killed a bunch of people, "doomed" the whole world just to keep his little girl safe and then lied straight to her face, but his expression shows no hint of sadness whatsoever, that, for me, is the peak of his character.

"if somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i'd do it all over again". of course he's hurt that ellie doesn't trust him anymore, and of course he wasn't exactly happy to kill those fireflies, but he did what he thought was right and he'd rather have ellie hate him for another thousand years to come than know he just left such a sweet girl to die in the hands of a crumbling group, in the name of a cause he never really cared about. he knows his actions will have consequences but he doesn't cry cause he is willing to die for it (and he really did).

sorry for rambling but i really want to read other people's opinion about it!!

First of all, I love how perfectly you've just described game Joel. This is exactly how I feel about our man, and even if I tried, I could never put it into words like this. Hands down, bro, this is so well said.

Both Ellie and Joel were portrayed differently in the show (it's not the worst thing; I know that people who don't follow the game fell in love with these versions of them, and for them it's as magical as it was for us when playing), but I guess, for the game lovers, it's harder to see past this fact simply because getting to love a character and having to learn everything there is about them, growing up with them only to find out the creators (people who gave them this exceptional and amazing character) didn't care enough to stick to what they came up with is kind of a bummer. I mean, you can choose to ignore it on the screen, but yet it's something so 'palpable' you have to watch with a little *sigh* in your mind.

"It shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much."

I agree. Game Joel has this death stare that makes people fear from miles away while show Joel doesn't. I think Pedro could pull it out without a blink of an eye—if only they'd given him this Joel to play.

People say that making show Joel more "sensitive" was to make him more realistic because in the game, the characters are portrayed as having to deal with the impossible (like killing 10 clickers and a bloater without any damage, etc.), while in the show, he's a real man, so real attributes and emotions are needed. I get that; that makes perfect sense. But I still also agree with folks who say that keeping Joel's "detached" and "thin-skinned" characteristics wouldn't hurt anyone because what's unrealistic about that?

Game Joel and show Joel are completely different characters in my head. I love them both. I can switch them in my head and tune into both Joels, but I still prefer the game when it comes to the story and the character Joel is.

It's funny because when I watch show Joel, I can't help but see a puppy version of game Joel, tbh. Pedro is literally able to play anything, so his version of "sensitive" Joel serves me just right when I tune into the show. But knowing Pedro would kill the "callous" and "unaffected" version of Joel, and it bugs me so much we'll never get to see it.

Btw, I'm working on your request, more photos of Joel torturing David's men are coming!

[unicornprintzz]

YOU’RE MINE☆

Dealer! Ellie x fem reader

☆Warning! Sexual tension, drug use, heavy make-out session, light smut MDNI!

☆The reader is considered a good girl and doesn't do drugs, but will hanging out with Ellie change that?

Ring ring

You looked away from your book and picked up your phone.

"Hi Dina"

"Hey boo! Are you free tonight?"

"Yeah, I am why?"

"Well I'm having a little party tonight at my place-- don't worry! it won't be more than 15 people"

"Sounds fun! Did it have to be on a school night?"

"Y/n I promise it won't go past 10"

"Okay, then I'll see you tonight.”

“Yay! I'll see you later then.”

You put your phone down and decided to go look for an outfit.

“Y/n! You're here” Dina said with glee. “Hi, Dina” you smiled, you looked around and frowned a little. “Dina you said no more than 15 people, this looks like 30” Dina gave you a nervous laugh, “Well, word got out that Ellie was gonna be at the party, so people insisted on coming like I couldn't say no! I'm such a nice person,” you looked at her and giggled, “It's fine anyways what were you saying about that Leah girl yesterday?” Dina smiled and pulled you to sit at the table with her. If there was one thing you and Dina were the best at, is gossiping about people who you both gave zero fucks about.

Some girl came up to Dina and grabbed her hand, “What is it, Lily?” Lily whispered in Dina’s ear and started giggling. “She actually came that's surprising, Y/n I’ll be back real soon!” Dina ran off with Lily and some other girls. You were confused about what they were talking about. You started scrolling on your phone until Dina came back.

“Hey boo! I’m back” Dina sat down with a smile on her face. You looked down at her pocket and rolled your eyes. “You know Dina you could have gotten some from Eugene for free.” Dina also rolled her eyes, “I’m too lazy to go to his house plus Ellie gives pretty girls discounts.” Dina whispered the last part. “Cool but still, you didn’t get it for free,” “Stop being an ass either way, Ellie is hot I’ll buy from her anytime.”

Dina got up and pulled you, “let's go dance!” you both got up and went to the dance floor. Things were getting hectic and you started to get pushed around. Some guy bumped into you hard and you fell back but caught yourself right in time, you looked behind you and realized instead of grabbing Dina, you grabbed somebody else, “Oh shit, you good?” the woman behind you said. “Oh my God Ellie I'm so sorry I didn't mean to grab you.” Ellie chuckled, “It’s all good Y/n.” You smiled and looked at Ellie a little too much for your liking. Dina from the other side of the dance floor looked at you two and smirked. She ran to you two and grabbed Ellie’s shoulder to pull her down to her level, “Ellie would you mind taking care of Y/n for a bit, I want to hang out with Lily for a bit, so can you stay with her because she's too sweet and innocent to be on her own around here y’know?” Dina looked at you and gave you an evil smirk. You gave Dina an offended look, but deep down you were excited, really excited.

Ellie looked at you and smiled, “Alright Dina I’ll take good care of Y/n.” Your heart skipped a beat hearing her say that. Dina giggled and walked off winking at you. “C’mere,” Ellie said as she reached her hand out to you. You grabbed her hand and you guys walked upstairs. You couldn’t tell if it was awkward or if you were just overthinking it. You guys walked into an empty room and closed the door. You sat on the end of the bed and Ellie leaned against the wall. You decided to say something to make things less awkward. “You’re pretty popular around here aren’t you.” Ellie looked at you and lightly laughed. “Yeah, I guess I am.” Ellie pulled out a joint and lit it. “You want some?” “No no, I'm good I don't do that stuff,” you said kind of embarrassed. “Bummer if you were this could have been for free,” you looked at her confused, “I thought you only gave discounts to certain people?” “Pretty girls get a discount,” Ellie corrected you. “Yeah that, so why are you offering that to me for free then?” Ellie smirked and walked towards you and leaned down where you were sitting. “Pretty girls get discounts, but beautiful girls get it for free,” Ellie whispered to you. You blushed and leaned back a little. Ellie grabbed you by the waist lightly and put you on her lap. “But now that I think about it, I’m glad a beautiful girl like you doesn’t do shit like this y’know?” You nodded shyly and wrapped your arms around her shoulders.

Ellie grabbed your face and pulled you closer, “Can I kiss you?” You nodded and your lips locked together. Ellie’s right hand went down to your ass and caressed it lightly. You pulled Ellie closer and started grabbing her hair. You guys pulled away for air. “Ellie” you whispered like you wanted more. “Fuck you’re perfect.” Ellie started attacking your neck, you let out light moans and grabbed her hair again. “Can I take off your shirt pretty girl?” “Mhm” you couldn’t even let out a proper response but you didn’t care. Ellie smirked and flicked her joint, “Ellie your joint!” you whispered scream, “I have better things to do princess.” Ellie took off your shirt and attacked your neck again. You guys were about to go further when the door opened. You got scared and covered your face in Ellie’s neck. Ellie held you tighter, “oh shit Ellie you’re gonna move on that fast?” The voice said. Ellie groaned and pulled off her jacket to put around you so your body won’t be seen.

“Cat, we broke up a year ago get the fuck over it.” Ellie said with a rasp in her voice. “So? We were still together, I don't want you dating another woman.” Ellie lightly pulled you off and stood up in front of Cat, “As I said for the millionth fucking time, we aren't together anymore and never will be again, just fucking leave already.” Cat looked pissed and hurt, she looked at you and walked away with a scoff.

Ellie sighed and looked at you, “fuck I'm sorry you had to witness that.” “It's okay Ellie it happens.” you smiled. Ellie grabbed you and gave you a big hug. “Y/n how are you so understanding? You're such a good girl.” Ellie whispered the last part. You blushed and hugged her back. “You wanna get out of here and go to my place?” “I'd love to Ellie.”

Ellie had her arm wrapped around your waist as you guys walked out of Dina’s party, you looked behind you and saw Dina with a shocked look, but quickly changed into an excited expression. Dina started signaling at her phone meaning she wants you to text her all the details. You gave her a nod and walked away with Ellie.

You guys walked to Ellie’s car, Ellie kindly opened the door for you. It smelled like weed, but honestly, you shouldn't even be surprised. Ellie got in the driver's seat and put one hand on the wheel. “Wanna get something to eat? My treat beautiful.” “That sounds amazing,” you said with a blush. “Then after that maybe you can stay over at my place for the night, how does that sound gorgeous?” Ellie placed her hand on your thigh rubbing it up and down.

You leaned in kissing Ellie, “That sounds perfect Ellie.” Ellie smiled and kissed you more deeply. You crawled over to her lap to deepen the kiss more. Things were getting more heated until-- HONK!-- “OH MY GOD!” you screamed, as you jumped seeing that you sat on the wheel making it honk. Your body was more up on Ellie now, your boobs squished up against Ellie tightly. Ellie was laughing hysterically in your boobs, while banging her feet on the car floor and smacking your ass, you gave her a pout, “what’s so funny!” You said to her trying to sound angry. “That shit was the funniest thing I have ever seen.” “Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Sweetheart I really like this view right now,” Ellie mumbled. You looked down slightly and just now realized that Ellie’s face was smashed against your boobs.

You blushed madly and covered your face. “Sh sh it’s okay Y/n don’t be embarrassed, I quite enjoyed it.” You covered your face in her neck. “Can we get food now please?” you mumbled still sounding embarrassed.

“Yeah princess I can definitely go for a burger right now.”

A/n- I’m still working on Stuck with me forever, I wish I can start it but school has been taking up all my time. Sorry if this story looks rushed it’s bc it was. Anyways lovelies should this have a part 2?🖤

[alittlebitofloveliness]

modern day curtis and shepard gang headcannons? Like they're old men and women

Hi anon! Sorry this took so long I'm a certified human disaster and my life is kind of in shambles rn

ANYWAY modern day old outsiders headcanons:

-First of all I did some quickmaths, so Darry would be 79 in 2024, Two-bit and Tim Shepard would be 78, Steve would be 76, Soda would be 75, and Curly & Angela Shepard would be 74, and Ponyboy would be 73

-Realistically atp Two would have died of like liver failure but I'm gonna try not to make this a bummer so lets say my man is in a nursing home and spends all day flirting with the nurses and the ladies in the home (who all adore him)

-Lbr Darry would absolutely be the grumpiest of old men (him and Two are in the same home) but he also tells the best stories and is secretly a big softie so all the young, nervous nurses like him the best

-Tim Shepard would rather be dead than in a nursing home and he says as much to anyone who ever suggests he needs one. Angela keeps trying, because he's barely mobile (old injuries + arthritis) but he refuses. Angela knows it's because Sylvia is burried in the graveyard down the block from there, and Tim doesn't want to leave his best friend, even though she's been dead for years he still can't leave her

-Angela lives alone. Having grown up in a turbulent house and worked almost every day of her adult life she enjoys her solitude. Nowadays she takes her fighting spirit to Monday night bingo where she CAN and WILL still strangle you Betty Anne if you try callin' bingo again when we both knows you aint got it-

-Steve and Sodapop live together at the old Curtis house. The neighbours kids have it rough so they come around a lot. Soda bakes cakes when he's got the energy, and Steve has mellowed a bit in his old age and spoils the kids rotten even when lecturing them and basically they act like grandfathers to these two little delinquent kids, who in turn do chores around the house so Soda and Steve can KEEP living there and don't have to go into a home or something

-Curly Shepard and Ponyboy Curtis live together, in a little apartment (Pony moved back to Tulsa when he retired, and Curly followed him like he always does. It's a little inside joke of theirs, since ever since they got together they've never been apart for more than a few days). Neither of them will admit it, but Curly's mind isn't what is used to be, the result of all those head injuries when he was younger finally catching up to him, and it kills Ponyboy a little to see the confusion in his eyes and the way he gets agitated when he can't remember something.

-The Curtis brothers all do that thing where they're always on the phone with one another

-Tim, Angela, and Curly all go out for breakfast together on Saturdays

-Tim has a walking stick and uses it to whack people with

-Two-bit manages to talk one of the nurses into smuggling him extra pudding cups with his dinner and the other residents (including Darry) get real up in arms about it

-Steve and Soda have tv shows that are on at a certain time each week that they steadfastly refuse to miss even though the neighbour kids have tried convincing them to get a netflix account and showeed them how to use the DVR so they could record them

-Steve complains about modern cars and their 'new fangled technology with their screens and electric engines' not being as good as the cars from when he was young

-Darry and Ponyboy compete to see who can get the wordle in the fewest guesses and they both sulk if they lose

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling people that their favorite celebrities are assholes?

I have a media job, and moreso relationships to people "in the biz," that puts me into regular contact, sometimes secondhand, with a lot of famous actors. It's nothing crazy, like most of these people I just have the opportunity to see them briefly at an event or at a restaurant while I'm eating with someone else. Though I've also had some long conversations and been allowed on some sets. And with quite a few of these A and B-listers, either seeing them personally or hearing stories from people who know them, there's frankly mostly bad things to say about their personal behavior.

I guess I won't say any specific names considering the nature of my question here, but it shouldn't be surprising imo that Hollywood is full of rude, pretentious, high-maintenance d-bags. Friends of mine will bring up an actor and it's almost a reflex for me to say what I know about them, which will often be something like "everyone in the industry says they HATE working with X" or "X is apparently so mean to like every child actor he works with" or "even X doesn't want to work with Y, that's how bad he is", etc. Not all of them, like there certainly are some real sweethearts, but mostly... yeah.

I've done this for a long time, it's only natural for me to share what I know and I think it's good to know when someone you look up to is an awful person so you don't idolize them too much, but some friends have started telling me to stop. They say that it's a bummer, that it ruins their image of someone that they like, that they'd genuinely prefer not to know, etc. In the words of one, "it's one thing to just be generally aware that most actors are jerks and to try not to have parasocial relationships, but if it's not something like racism or homophobia or serious abuse, I don't need to know details."

I guess my problem going forward is that I kind of can't help it sometimes, and I genuinely forget that other people have attachments to actors like that. Idk if I should really feel obligated to stop either. But some of my friends are more or less begging me to. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[themetaphorgirl]

where I've been

hello friends! it's me!

I know my presence has been really hit or miss over the past year and change. if you want the short version, life has just been really tough, but I'm at the point where I really want to feel like life feels more normal again, which includes writing and posting and being more active.

if you'd like the deluxe edition of what's been going on, I do feel like I want to share what's been happening. it's been really rough and the next steps are only going to be more difficult, so knowing I have friends rooting for me will really help.

you don't have to read if you don't want to, it's kind of a bummer! the biggest takeaway is that I've been going through a garbage time but I want to start writing regularly again, so hopefully you'll see a lot more of me moving forward.

everything else below the cut!

tw: pregnancy, pregnancy loss

okay so. y'all know I got married in December 2022 (and we are still very happily married!!). we've known from the getgo that we want a family, but hadn't quite pulled the trigger.

well, there was another situation that happened that made me realize that I really wanted to start trying now, but it also unlocked a really deep trauma. when I was 23 I was in a really horrible relationship, and I got pregnant. and I ended up miscarrying pretty early on. and I got zero support. that's the short version.

I ended up, I guess for my own sanity, blocking it out. there's big gaps in my memory that just. don't exist. and for a long time I told myself it didn't happen. later, when I acknowledged that it did happen, I told myself that it was for the best, that I would have been a bad mother at that point in my life, that I would have had to maintain contact with my ex, that it just wasn't the right time and it was a good thing that I lost my baby.

the problem was I never grieved. I never healed. it was all just locked away and festering and killing me slowly.

so I ended up spending a good part of last year grieving and trying to deal with pain that I should have dealt with years ago. which...let me tell you, it's a rough process.

and at the same time, I realized that I wanted to start trying. my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. I've wanted five kids for as long as I can remember. Every time I pictured the future I pictured children. And I didn't want to wait anymore. which...is extra complicated to start that process when you're also in the midst of unpacking trauma.

and as you might have guessed...I'm not pregnant yet.

I'm very lucky that my work has a great medical program and they don't have waiting periods to see fertility specialists, so I started seeing doctors last April. And there's nothing wrong. I've done bloodwork, I've done ultrasounds, I've done so many tests, Shane has been tested. We've done three medicated cycles with trigger shots. They can't find anything wrong. They keep shrugging and saying that it's just the matter of the right time.

Unexplained infertility is a bitch.

It's so painful. It's so unfair. And because of my job I'm constantly doing orders for pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and baby's first Christmas. I cannot tell you how many times I've run to the bathroom to cry because I just can't handle being surrounded by reminders that I'm not anybody's mother yet.

I'm currently on cycle 17 of trying. which. that on its own hurts so much. s e v e n t e e n.

we have to hold off on starting the next steps because Shane lost his job (which is another absolutely insane stressor) but he's in a new job that he loves and pays better, and I'm getting a referral for a new clinic for a second opinion. but it looks like we're going to move forward with IVF.

I'm very very lucky that my work will pay for a significant amount towards IVF, but there's still payments we have to make, so we're working on getting our ducks in a row. and it's a terrifying prospect. medications and egg retrieval (my first surgery ever) and transfers. and the crippling fear that they won't get enough eggs or none of them will fertilize or the transfer won't be successful. it's eating me away. I've been feeling like such a shell of myself, every failed cycle feels like another piece of me has faded away.

right now I'm trying to focus on getting myself in as healthy as a place as possible, emotionally and physically, before we start procedures. am I still hoping that I'll get pregnant without IVF? oh, desperately. but at this point, nearly a year and a half into trying, this is probably going to be our best bet.

so moving forward, I'm hoping I can start doing things that make me happy again. I've spent most of the past year and a half being incredibly depressed and not really doing anything other than laying around in bed. I did discover Lockwood & Co thanks to Maeve, and that's helped so much because it gave me something new to think about and fixate on (and write for), but it's still been rough and sporadic. which, actually, is a good describer of how the past year has gone. I need to get back into living again.

in the meantime thank you for everybody who's checked in on me, especially QuiddoDitto. I haven't really had the energy to message back, but I've seen the comments and messages and it's meant so much to me while I slog through this.

hopefully things will get better soon! hopefully I start feeling like a person again! hopefully I'll be writing and posting regularly because I miss it!

and hopefully there'll be a baby in my arms soon.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Ok, I have a request based on your new prompt list. The names got me thinking, and I was wondering if you could do just the Gladers x Fem!Reader who joins them and is a total badass, and has a title, like in the books, and she’s “the warrior.” And she’s named Joan after Joan of Arc. Could be a fic or just headcanons, whichever is easiest for you. Thanks!

Ooo this is a really fun idea. I'm gonna do some headcanons simply because that is easier for me to do.

Also, not my normal headcanons with separate sections for each boy - this is about your life in the Glade and relationships with the Gladers.

Also, fem!reader, so no romance with Newt as specified on my masterlist, but y'all are buddies.

And I've decided to use another one of my ideas, so you're even more of a pain in WICKED's ass :).

THE WARRIOR

MASTERLIST | MULTI-CHARACTER MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Book based fic.

WICKED stole your name and called you Joan - and there's a good reason for that. You were a test Subject and WICKED prodigy that broke into the Maze to help your friends - and WICKED couldn't really do anything about it.

(If you're actually called Joan, congrats, this is for you, I guess.)

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, actually follows the naming canon so no (Y/N), awkward Glader flirting. I fully don't how I'm gonna write this so prepare for me to butcher this prompt. This is a bit of a different layout so I decided to have some fun with it.

LOADING SUBJECT INFORMATION

SUBJECT NUMBER: A3 "The Warrior"

BIRTH NAME: (Y/N) (L/N).

SUBJECT GIVEN NAME: Joan.

NOTES: Subject A3 shows signs of rebellion and aggression. This is not surprising considering the means she went through to enter the Maze Trails. Though, her efforts may have been beneficial. Due to being the only female Group A Subject for the majority of the Maze Trails, she is volatile and untrusting. However, A3 does display close relationships with several other Subjects.

LOADING GLADER EXPERIENCE

You had an eventful first week in the Glade.

As eventful as a first week can be, really.

Initially, you freaked the fuck out.

You woke up in a dark box with nothing but your name and the smell of burning oil.

And then the Box opened up and you weren't the only one freaking out.

Surrounded by a couple dozen boys - no one knew what to do.

Unbeknownst to you, not only were you the only girl the Gladers had ever seen - but you'd also shown up between Greenie days.

They weren't due another Greenie for another week and a half.

Confusion spread through the Glade like wildfire.

The first person you met was Newt.

He seemed to be one of the few boys that weren't going absolutely savage at your presence.

He offered you a hand, which you refused to take at first.

Until the Box jolted again, and started to move with you still inside it.

"Oi, come on! Jump!"

"What's happening?!"

"I don't shuckin' know! Jump!"

With the help of several other pairs of hands, you decide to jump, and Newt yanks you up.

And you see the the Glade for the first time.

And the opening in the Walls.

You don't even have to think about.

When Newt tries to talk to you, you clock him square in the face and book it towards the exit.

AKA. The Maze.

Which results in a kind of stampede as you rush to escape.

Which, is where you meet Minho.

It's late in the day and Minho has finished his route early so he's coming back to chill out for a bit.

Except that doesn't happen because you come whizzing past him.

"Minho! Stop her!"

"What?"

"Stop the shuckin' girl!"

Admittedly, you are faster than he expected.

But not faster than him.

You manage to get around a corner before he tackles you, rugby style.

He manages to restrain you, and Alby and Newt come to help and wrestle you back to the Glade.

You're put in the Slammer.

Bummer.

The Gladers use the time you're locked up to figure out what to do.

Alby puts a very strong no touching rule in place and threatened to Banish anyone that dare break it.

After that, he goes out of his way to try and calm you down and explain what's happening here.

Eventually you oblige.

And Alby shows you the place.

He introduces you to people of note - Winston, Zart, Gally, Frypan and the other Keepers.

And he reintroduces you to Newt and Minho.

You learn things about yourself over the next following weeks.

You're feisty and forward.

You have a short fuse.

You're somewhat skilled at hand to hand combat and could probably put up a good fight against most of the Gladers.

You're sarcastic and quick witted.

Though, you remain level headed and fast thinking.

You try out all the jobs.

You settle on being a Builder for a while.

Which Gally is thrilled about.

You, surprisingly, actually get along with Gally quite well.

Sure, he's a bit of a dick and has far too many opinions.

But, he's a good boss.

He's strict and hard-working; pushing his men to the bets of their ability, and in your opinion, what they need.

This lands you in Gally's circle, which includes Frypan.

Gally isn't well liked.

Which is fine with you.

It means the boys leave you alone.

And, you get the opportunity to build your own little hut.

You like working as a Builder.

This also leads to the first of the boys developing a crush on you - Gally.

Frypan is quick to second that.

The third is Minho.

It's not like the pair of you are particularly close, but after Newt suggests you be a Runner - that changes.

You're fast and resilient; both of which Minho is looking for in his men.

You decide to try out, which makes Minho your boss.

Gally isn't very pleased, but you work where you're needed.

It's not that difficult, the worst part being not getting lost.

But Minho isn't going to leave you alone until you're ready.

Spending time with you, he learns you have a similar sense of humour.

And you've forgiven him for flooring you.

So, he starts crushing on you too.

As in my other headcanons, Alby really doesn't care about you.

Well, he does.

But just as another Glader.

Though he does appreciate the hard work you do, and the fact you keep the majority of his most problematic men distracted.

Newt is probably the person you're closest to.

Mainly because you never catch him staring at your ass or tits.

He's respectful.

And not attracted to you.

Because he's gay.

You're a fully fledged Runner by the time Thomas shows up.

You don't really think much of him at first.

Because absolutely no one did.

But he admired you.

He thought you were cool and skilled, very much the same way he looked up to Minho.

You were devastated when Thomas, Minho and Alby got stuck out in the Maze.

Gally tried his best to comfort you, but he didn't get very far.

"If anyone can survive the Maze; it's Minho."

"No one survives a night, Gally - we both know that."

Frypan's attempts weren't much better.

Newt was too busy figuring out how the heck he was going to run the Glade without Alby.

Yet, somehow, they both survived.

You don't think you've ever hugged someone as hard as you hugged Minho when you saw him.

Everyone's jealous of Minho for that.

Oh yeah, Teresa.

She showed up the day after Thomas.

You were thrilled to have another girl.

And then she wasn't conscious.

Bummer.

You kinda forgot about her after that.

Until she woke up, and everything went wrong in the Glade.

The sky disappearing, the Doors not closing, Grievers taking someone every night.

Including Alby.

And Gally disappeared.

A devastating blow.

You became one of the faces of the escape.

Cracking the code wasn't easy, but you all managed.

Thomas and Minho's theory about jumping into the void had you skeptical but you didn't have anything better to do than throw rocks off the Cliff for hours.

Thomas then gets stung.

And once awake, tells you how you were never meant to be in this Maze. You broke in, presumably to help your friends.

No wonder Newt and Minho wanted you to become a Runner.

Anyway, you escape.

Gally pops up again.

Kills Chuck.

RIP.

Thomas flips his lid.

And you escape.

Definitely not my best work but I really didn't know how to do this.

I'm stressed and I tried my best lmao.

Hope you're cool with that. Kinda.

:))

[explorevenus]

How about 🎆 for the Yandere!Leon Ask Game? 👀 Also congrats on the 1k you deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!! Your work is so good. 💜💜

NEXYS THANK U I LOVE U SO VERY VERY MUCH AAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope this is good, ily ;w;

context for those of u who are just joining us-- this is part of an emoji ask game where i write a yandere!leon blurb based on emojis in celebration of 1k followers !! requests for this game are closed now, although my ask box is always open for yandere!leon brainrot rambles <33 love y'all and thanks for participating!! i will be slowly working through the rest of the emojis already in my ask box <3

tags/warnings - yandere!leon kennedy, fem!reader, reader is in captivity, leon is delusional, other than that nothing !!

blurb below the cut <33

It was New Year's, ten minutes to midnight.

While your friends and family were no doubt gathering for parties, drinking champagne and counting down the minutes until they could share a kiss with their lovers into the New Year, you were at Leon's, still in captivity, still not allowed to go outside.

You sighed deeply, thinking of the plans you'd made with your friends months ago, long before Leon had taken you in. You were all going to gather together at one of your friend's apartments, share a bottle of champagne, play games, and go into the New Year as a tighter group. You wondered if they were hanging out without you right now. You wondered if your absence was killing the vibe.

"What're you thinking about, princess?" Leon asked from behind you, running his fingers through your hair.

"It's New Year's," You spoke softly, staring blankly at the wall. "I was supposed to be with my friends today."

He hummed softly, leaning forward to kiss your neck sweetly. "I'm sorry, princess. That's a bummer, huh?"

You nodded. It was almost laughable how indifferent he was to your feelings sometimes.

"It's a good thing you have me then," He continued, lips ghosting along your warm skin. "We can go outside, watch the fireworks, share a kiss at midnight… How does that sound, pup?"

Despite your internal struggle, it did sound kind of nice. Normal. Something you really needed right now, a reminder of what it felt like to be normal. You turned over your shoulder to look at him. "Okay… sure. I-I'd like that."

He softly kissed the top of your head, humming contently. "Good. Put on a jacket, princess, it's cold outside," He said, and while his words sounded like a suggestion, his tone sounded like a command.

You nodded blankly, reaching for the first jacket you could find in the closet before taking his hand, letting him lead you out of the room and to the backyard. It was pretty cold outside, he wasn't wrong about that-- the biting December air felt good, sobering on your skin. Still, you subconsciously huddled to his side for warmth.

"What's your resolution?" He asked, voice cutting through the silence.

"Huh?" You tilted your head, a little caught of guard by his question.

"Your New Year's resolution, sweetheart," He repeated somewhat condescendingly. "Do you have one?"

Admittedly, you hadn't put much thought into it. Obviously your energy was better spent elsewhere as of late. You hummed in thought for a moment before coming up with an answer you thought would please him. "I don't know… I guess I'd like to take better care of myself this year… What about you?"

Leon smiled, planting a kiss to the top of your head. "To take better care of you," He answered honestly. "My pretty little princess… I just want to take better care of you."

You could hardly begin to imagine what he meant by that. It wasn't always clear to tell what he considered 'good care.' Still, it was a sweet response. You gave him a weak smile, turning to look up at the sky. Any minute fireworks would undoubtedly begin popping off around the city.

Leon kept one hand on the small of your back as he checked his watch. It was 11:59 p.m. He gently turned you to him, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he gazed into your eyes. You were so pretty, so sweet, and you were all his. What he hadn't told you was he had a second resolution-- to keep you all to himself, to properly train you to be his perfect little dolly. He could almost taste it.

His watch beeped as the clock ticked up to the hour, and almost immediately, an array of distant fireworks began popping and glittering across the sky. Leon guided his face down to yours, whispering lowly, "Happy New Year, princess," before connecting his lips to yours.

[inconsistent-kuroshitsuji-blog]

Yandere Alphabet: Undertaker

This is a request not made by someone on Tumblr, but rather from my own circle of people from real life. Yeah, you know I'm talking about you. Feeling called out yet? Good. You little fluffy simp.

Anyway...

MAJOR CONTENT WARNING!

As you may be able to guess, Yanderes are rather bloody and not nice from a human rights point of view. This post features a couple of human rights violations, for example kidnapping, torture, gaslighting, manipulation, cencorship, drugging and drug abuse, psychological warfare, being almost exclusively fed with biscuits, arson, and many more I do not know of yet. But you little freaks probably like that, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this.

(For the love of anything unholy, why does he look like he's jerking off in that GIF? Also, I found my headline fond again. And I figured out how to add a "read more" barrier. I'm getting good again.)

Yandere Alphabet: Undertaker

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

You know how little children tend to cling to their favourite stuffy and won't let them go for anything, not even washing? This is how intense he gets. He takes you everywhere he goes, as long as you won't hinder him. He hugs you tight and then just drags you along, wether you like it or not. Another thing he likes to do is to pet and caress your head with his fingernails, he knows that it feels good. He puts a huge emphasis on physical touch, if you couldn't tell. It's his love language, in contrast to giving gifts. These are rewards for you behaving well, not signs of affection, because they can be bought again and again and don't mean anything to him. They were bought with money after all, and we all know that he could care less for money.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

It is an understatement if I said he would kill. He would light houses and humans on fire, he would publicly execute people and make it seem like an accident. He would chloroform them and bury them alive, with or without a coffin, depends on his mood.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

First of all, you're getting locked in a room. You need sleep after being drugged so heavily. He knows his poisons well, he's embalming people for a living after all. You get to keep a few belongings from your old home, but mobile devices or anything technically advanced is off the table for now (he's a grandpa, let him be). He doesn't throw them away, he just doesn't want you to be able to contact anyone who could potentially help you. The police for example. He doesn't need the police on his poarch again. It happened once, it wasn't pleasant. The only food available for you at that moment are buiscuits, you will have to cook for the both of you if you want anything proper. But that won't happen soon, as you are locked in a room. What a bummer. It will only get better with time, if you manage to earn his trust. Otherwise, you have to stay in your room. And it is boring there. Kind of to mock you how empty your life is without him in the room.

D- Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Of course, you're his now after all. You don't want to wear the clothes he selected for you? It's either this or you might aswell run around naked. He forces you to sleep in his coffin with you. Does not matter if you barely have any space in there together, you could be standing in the corner or be sleeping on the floor. The room you first wake up in only has a rather thin matress without any sheets or blankets. So? What will it be? Of course it will be him.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He knows on which power level he is in comparison to others. And he knows he is way above them. What, you are trying to get a reaction out of him by threatening him with you? Pathetic little thing, they're as good as dirt now. You try to threaten him with running away or doing something to yourself? Your loss. He won't be pressured into anything by you. He doesn't show you anything about himself, he gives you no space to potentially hurt him.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He sees it as a joke. What does a little drugged up ragdoll like you want to do against him? Scream and cry and kick around yourself? How cute, now hold still for the syringe. Try to strangle him in his sleep? The joke is on you, he already is dead. Why don't you try to go to sleep for once? Maybe this little chokehold on your neck will help you.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This is better than any joke he's been told so far. The way you try so desperately to find your way out, he even encourages you to try even harder. Your frightened expression is just so divine, he can't get enough of it. And the best thing is, he knows that you will never be able to get out of there alive. As if it weren't enough, he also gives you false hints. Or maybe they're truthful. You'll probably never know, as you get knocked out before you can try them properly.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Everything. Every second of you not obeying him equades to a month in the nine circles of hell. So just be nice and do as he says and you won't have to meet his devices from the middle ages.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He always wanted a housewife that cleans after him and cooks for him. An obedient little plaything to amuse himself with. No children. He is not fond of them, they are annoying at best.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Him and jealousy? Ha, never. He'd never get jealous. He just tracks down the people you frequently interact with to check if they pose any threat to your relationship. That girl you frequently go out with is just a normal friend and they are in a long-term relationship? Everyone can be a cheater. That dude you told him not to worry about? You definitely have something going on. And that is unacceptable. He doesn't show you his discontentment, not yet at least. But these others in your life, they will get to know it very well.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It is weird to say, but he almost acts like a mixture of an older brother and boyfriend. He's always looking out for you, seeming oh so very sweet. He's not touchy, but he glares at anyone who tries to get physically close to you. He's always slightly behind you, making sure to avoid any possible danger he sees. But none of them come close to the danger the Undertaker himself poses to you. But shhh, you don't have to know about that.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

It would start off with normal dates. Going to a restaurant, going shopping, anything he knows you like. And he knows what you like, he has stalked watched you long enough to notice your likes and dislikes. During this time, he gets progressively more touchy the closer you get, until you let him into your home. He knew where you lived before you showed him and he was even in your building and rooms before you showed them to him, but he is good at pretending to see them for the first time. After this, he basically consideres himself welcome around your house 24/7.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Of course they are. Otherwise, the police would have showed up at his doorstep sooner than later. And they already know him well, a story he does not like to remember, it was tedious to get them out of his mortuary.

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

His go-to is either drugging or medieval torture devices. You blabbered too much nonsense again? A few hours with the Scold's bridle will teach you right. Trying to physically overpower him will be punished by drugging. You are so much more lovely like this, all drugged up and dazed. His disciplining is usually more unpleasant than hindering. Never would he go so far as to break your legs or even chop them off, you need those little sticks after all.

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Almost any he sees fit. Blabber too much and you lose your right of free speech (literally). The right of cencorship-free information? Surely not, the world outside is taboo for you. But don't worry, he won't take your right to go to the bathroom. He's not a monster after all.

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

One month until he first tries to obduct you. Afterwards, he doesn't care to wait up for you. The longer you take, the less patient he is. So you better adjust to him quickly.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He could never. If you died, he would not wait long to bring you back as one of his living corpses. And if you, against all odds, manage to leave and escape his premises, he would go hunt after you right again. He makes sure you won't be able to catch a break, at least nowhere outside of his home.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and no. Why should he feel sorry about something he wanted? If you can't adapt properly to him and your new life, it is purely your problem. And running away is no solution. Sorry, love.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

This man has been unalive for longer than he needed and has enough trauma for three whole families. So why shouldn't he share his psychological turmoil with you? Also, he is curious how well a human can take being treated like this.

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He doesn't appear to feel anything, other than annoyance with a slight hint of amusement. If you isolate yourself, good. Better than crying and throwing a fit right infront of him. He really can't stand that, it reminds him of crying children who run after their mother after they were mean to her and she decided to leave them standing where they are. Screaming should only be done in isolation, otherwise you might hurt his eardrums. This man is already half blind, adding deafness to it is more than he'd like to have.

U - Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He doesn't admire you. He wants you to admire him.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Not a classical weakness, but useful none the less. His medicine/chemical cabinet has enough to kill a whole village, so if you start to be a bit more attentive during his work period, you might be able to learn a thing or two about some chemicals. He is most distracted during coffin nailing. If you use these facts wisely, you might make it out of there...

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course he would. What would be a better way to discipline you? Most of the injuries aren't fatal of course, he needs you in a good working shape.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Him worshipping you? Dearie, you got something completely wrong. To him you are a puppet, a doll, a mere toy to play around with and throw aside as soon as he doesn't want you anymore. He knows that he doesn't need to win you over. He's way too irresistable for that (in his opinion).

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Upon first meeting you, about 4 months. Plus minus one, if you're particularly lucky/unlucky. He knows what he's doing after all, he doesn't need much planing.

Z- Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

In the end, all he wants is a perfect little doll that will keep him company for as long as he needs. And if he needs to break you for this goal, he will do so without hesitation. That way, you'll be stuck with him for the rest of your time, as long as your mortal coil exists. Forever.

______________________________________________________________

Did I promise something happy or fluffy? Oops. My bad. I'll maybe do a series out of this, depends on my mood and creativity. I can't tell you yet what my next post will be, because I have no clue what it will be.

(I'm too lazy to proof read this, as always.)

Until next time~

Your Inconsistent Kuroshitsuji Blog~

[turnstileskyline]

RockSound June 3rd, 2024 – Dallon Weekes Interview (Transcript under the cut)

hello all!!!! i am still taking a little tumblr break (gonna upload and dip) but my copy of the rocksound idkhow issue came so i wanted to get these photographed and transcribed because i know i have shaky hands. (if you spot any mistakes let me know and i'll fix them asap!)

Taking Over The World (One Show At A Time)

As they close out their UK headline tour, IDHKOW's Dallon Weekes reflects on the lessons learned from taking 'Gloom Division' out on the road.

Words James Wilson-Taylor

Photos Corinne Cumming

Now that the UK tour has come to an end, how are you reflecting on this latest run of shows? Well the shows were fantastic. All of the crowds were great and it was really exciting to be back there after, you know, COVID and the album delays and everything. It's felt like it was forever since we've been back. But to be able to go back with this new lineup that I have, it was pretty special. Because I feel like the live show has grown a lot. Being able to add more live musicians to it, and rely less upon synth tracks and things like that. To have people up on stage actually doing it live, we're a little more untethered, which, must like that tour itself, was pretty chaotic. But we seem to thrive on chaos. So it worked out. It was really fun.

Did it click together quite quickly with the new band? What were the initial live rehearsals like? It was really fun for me. My heart goes out to the guys who are playing for me because they had this whole catalogue of music to learn before we hit the road, but they are such professionals and so talented too and most of them live here around Utah where I'm from. Anthony, my guitar player, still is in LA. But whenever shows come up, he flies out here so we get some proper full band rehearsals. But to be able to have really professional musicians dig into the songs and learn how to play them and have some input as well is really invaluable to me because I always really enjoy when a live show has tiny deviations from the recorded versions of the album that you might have in your collection. Sometimes bands can go a little too far from that and it can be fun sometimes. But it can also be a bummer, it kind of depends on the song, I guess. But I like having small moments or extended bits, or maybe an idea that you got post recording an album, when you're all jamming it together and someone does something cool. And you go, 'Dammit, I wish that was on the record'. So you just put it in the live show and it makes for a cool experience, I think.

With the added band members, it gives you a little extra freedom to step away from the bass at moments and explore your position as a frontman. It feels good, but it's interesting too, because that was never on my bucket list. I never had that in mind for my life to be a frontman, or a lead singer. I just always wanted to make music and write and record and have that be my job. I've been lucky enough to have achieved that goal. But, you know, circumstances being what they are, I eventually landed into that role without having it as a goal, but it's something that I do enjoy. It's something I did years ago with Brobecks. But between then and now it's been more than a decade. So I think it took me a minute to sort of relearn that role and find myself in that role again, and luckily once it started rolling, it didn't take long for me to find that footing again. But there was that learning curve where I tried to remember how to be in this spot, rather than just filling a spot on the side of that stage just playing bass. So yeah, it's been fun to be able to put it down every once in a while and have a little more freedom to wander around or spill water bottles all over the stage, which is a bad habit of mine.

It also allows for a nice relationship with the audience. I mean, that's something you've always had – it almost feels like a conversation in places. It's a little secret club in a way for all these fans. That was the impetus when it started. Because this was a secret project, no one was supposed to know about it. And I really had no goals in mind for it other than to get some music out of my head and play it for a bunch of strangers that didn't know what other bands I'd ever been in and see if that art that I was making could stand on it's own two feet without waving some giant flag saying, 'Hey, everybody, I was in this band before, come and see what I'm doing.' There was something about that which felt really disingenuous and kind of gross to me. So starting this project in secret with this ridiculous band name that no one could ever find appealing made a lot of sense at the time. But as things snowballed – and what a wonderful problem to have, I'm talking about this like it's some sort of bad thing but it's not, it's a great thing – eventually it became too late to choose a more sensible band name. But, you know, band names are ridiculous anyway, so who cares? I guess the secret is just to not care. But yeah, finding that role again. It took a minute, but it's been a lot of fun. I'm enjoying it a lot.

In terms of the newer songs in the set, did playing them live and seeing the audience reaction change your opinion about them at all? It's a similar feeling for both me and the audience. Because the way that writing and recording music works now is different from how it was 20 years ago. You used to write your song, go out and play it every night, workshop it, tighten the screws on it, and then you go record it and put on a record. Now, with Youtube and streaming services and bootlegs and things, you have to keep a tight lid on this new stuff that you're working on until it's been officially released. So now, you write your song and you record it and then you learn how to play it afterwards. So taking those out into the world for the first time on stage after you've recorded it, I think it's a new experience for the audience and for the performers as well, because you get a handle on this new thing that you've already recorded. Then night by night, kind of like I mentioned before, someone might do something different. The song sort of evolves and changes a little bit from the way that you recorded it. I think there's a lot of fun to be had in that. Sometimes those things can only happen once you are in front of people and playing those songs. It's all a really organic process and I really enjoy that.

I guess the other thing you had to consider was how best to balance this new material, which pushed you into some new places musically, with the older songs that everybody knows. It's become a challenge now because when this thing started, I hadn't recorded or released anything. It was about four or five months of playing dive bars in secret and just denying that this was even a thing while I was recording. Then by the time we did have something out there, I think we put a song on YouTube first with no record label, no radio, nothing. Then that song just kind of took off. Then we were expected to fill an hour whenever we would go on tour and we had only released five songs. So learning that frontman role and stretching bits out and filling in our set with some covers and maybe some old Brobecks songs, that was the challenge. Now, the challenge has become picking a setlist that has bits and pieces of stuff that you love and that the audience would appreciate from the past and from the current record. So it's a different challenge now, but it's one that I'm enjoying. Revisiting stuff that is important to me from the past and things that I really like playing and stuff that the audience either needs to hear, because we're promoting it, or is stuff that I know they have responded to well in the past and that they'd like to hear. So it's a combination of different factors to make a decent setlist, I think, but I try to keep all that stuff in mind.

One particularly special moment at the London show was when Will Joseph Cook joined you onstage to perform your collaboration "Sunnyside'. That was fun. He's a London boy. The algorithm sent me some of his music a couple of years back and it was a song called 'Take Me Dancing', one of his songs from maybe four or five years ago. It was one of those songs that when you hear it as a songwriter, it's so good that it kind of pisses you off, you know? Dammit, that's good. So I reached out to him to see if he wanted to collaborate on some stuff, and it's been a great working relationship ever since. Then we just pass each other ideas back and forth all the time. He hit me up and asked if he could come to the London show and I said, 'Why don't you come out on stage and we'll sing this 'Sunnyside' song that we to wrote together'. He's like, fuck yeah, so we hooked up a spare microphone and ran it on soundcheck and then brought them out on stage for the set. It was a lot of fun to be able to do that. To play it live with the person who helped cowrite that was pretty special.

So you see that collaborative relationship continuing on more songs in the future? We hung out pretty much all day that day backstage and showed each other ideas that we have floating around. After I got home, I send him some more songs. So yeah, we're definitely going to keep that collaborative working relationship going. He's a good young man with a bright future.

You have also been able to bring some more Brobecks songs into your setlist and put a new, IDKHOW twist on them. Are there any more of those older songs you'd like to re-record or perform again? I've got a shortlist of maybe four or five old Brobecks songs that I think never really got a proper chance to be a proper song, you know, whether that was because we didn't have enough money to record it properly or get it mixed or mastered or even release it. Then I eventually released the songs in a vacuum and no one ever really heard it. But there's four or five I think that I would still like to give a proper chance to. It's not super high on the priority list. But it is something that I'm interested in because I am a fan of songs. And you know, probably more so than albums as a whole, I'm a song man. There are a few from the past that I think had some potential. But I would probably have to consider, you know, the passage of time in between when I first wrote them as a young man and, if I did rerecord and release, now there might have to be some lyric adjustments or something because I don't know how well some lyric choices when you're 22 would go over when you're 42. So there might be some rewrites in order. But revisiting some of those I think would be fun because this project and that project, they aren't unrelated to each other. I very well could have easily called this The Brobecks. But whenever I started this, putting a period at the end of that old project seemed like the right move and moving on to something new that didn't have any baggage to carry along with it. It felt like the move. But yeah, that doesn't mean that that stuff isn't still important to me. It's still very meaningful and I really love playing old Brobecks songs and I think that I always will.

Now that you have had some time to reflect since the release of 'GLOOM DIVISION', how are you feeling about that collection of songs now? It's interesting how your perspective changes on things. When I first recorded it, and was getting ready to release it, I was so excited and I thought this was the best work that I've ever done. Then even with the good reviews that it has gotten and the fan response, there was still more mixed reviews, or mixed feelings, about it than I thought there would be. But seeing that happen has given me a sort of step back, trying to be more objective, which is hard to do when you're making art, you know, because it really is for you. That's still number one for me whenever I make art. It is for me, and I want to like the thing that I'm making. That's the most important bit and if anyone else happens to like it, that's just a really great bonus. But I made this record and I loved it and I thought that surely everyone else would too. All of my favourite records and the things that I draw inspiration from are not popular records. These are not things that were at the top of the charts. You know, even on some of my top 10 Records of all time – Elvis Costello's 'This Year's Model' or The Flaming Lips or Ben Folds Five, all of my favourite stuff, these were never people that lived at the top of the charts. So, to me, the response kind of makes sense. As long as you're making something that you like, and you're not trying to play to the gallery, then whatever their response is, so be it.

UK artists in particular seem to have always had a big influence on you. I've been a sucker for everything British since I got into the Beatles, and if it was from the 60s and it was British then I was all about it. Even in the 90s, | was a big Britpop fan. In the post grunge-90s, Britpop in America was not the cool thing to be into, but I was all about it. Blur was my favourite. I loved Pulp and I liked Oasis too. That was my shit back in the 90s while everyone else was listening to Rage Against The Machine, which I can appreciate more now. Back then, I viewed it as the stuff my older brother and his friends were into and they're all bros. So I was being kind of a little hipster about it. But I love Rage now. But yeah, back then in the 90s, again I was into stuff that wasn't living at the top of the charts.

It must have been particularly exciting to finally come over here and play shows for the first time. Yeah it was very cool to be there finally and see where rock and roll...wasn't born but where it had been fine tuned and perfected. We may have done it first but I'm always of the mindset that y'all did it best. There's no pride in regards to, you know, who did what and when. I'm a fan of what y'all do. I love it over there.

One UK show that must stick in the memory was when you played Brixton Academy in 2016 with Panic! At The Disco just after David Bowie had passed away. That must have been quite a surreal but special moment. I remember waking up in my hotel that day to the news and being hit with it harder than I probably thought I would have ever been. I'd always been a big Bowie fan, but sometimes you don't really realize how much you like something until it's gone, which is kind of fucked up. So I woke up to the news that he had died and I cried a little bit, you know, which kind of surprised me. Then I went out walking the streets, because we had a full day before we had to be at the venue for soundcheck, and his music was everywhere. Walking past that mural that's down the street from the venue where people had made this makeshift memorial, there was this awesome sense of community. That was a great reminder about the importance behind art and behind music. All of these people walking the streets, they might not share anything in common, but at least for today, or that day, everyone's sharing this art that this man made. There's something so special about that. Whenever an artist passes along from this world, you hope that your art that you make continues to be enjoyed by people and that way you get to sort of live on and still impact people. So that's the hope. I certainly hope that's the case with me and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Playing that venue in particular, or really any historical venue where I know for sure that someone I love has played there and has walked down this staircase to the stage just like I'm doing, I always think about that right before we're about to take the stage. There's something intimidating about it and something comforting about it at the same time.

Similarly, when you played Camden Electric Ballroom with IDKHOW, that is another venue with so much history. There is a plaque outside in memory of when Prince performed there. That's another reason why I really love playing in London because there's so many choices. You throw a stone and there's a gig happening somewhere and you have your choice of just about anything under the sun that you can go see. So the fact that there are people on the other side of the world that would choose to come see this project and watch us play the songs that I write here in my basement is nothing short of a miracle to me. This last round of shows that we played over there, particularly that last show in London, to be able to have that venue full of people is so special to me and does not go unappreciated.

[iamdispleased]

Found Some More Hatchetfield Lore!

tldr; at bottom

I remembered that one of the Lang brothers said that Wiggly is based off of Cthulhu, so I decided to do something digging on a piece of shit author, H.P. Lovecraft and y’all… Okay, I don’t know if it counts as lore, but Hatchetfield is right under our noses.

CW: H.P. Lovecraft’s writing is full of bigotry, and if you plan on reading it, prepare yourself. For example, there is an evil entity named Shub-Niggurath. Yeah.

I don’t like H.P. Lovecraft, nor do I enjoy his writing in general, so here are some things that people should look up if you want to find out Hatchetfield’s inspiration. More thoughts on why I cannot write about him are at the bottom.

Also! I do not look down or dislike people who enjoy H.P. Lovecraft’s writing and his creations, and would really love for people to continue to look into things I cannot. I hope my little notes help!

(I’ve linked the stories in pink!)

SPOILERS: Hatchetfield? I guess? The Cthulhu Mythos & The Dream Cycle.

Cthulhu Mythos:

Just read ‘The Call of Cthulhu’. Everything makes sense.

Miss Holloway is based off of a character named Horvath Blayne from ‘The Black Island, Being the Narrative of Horvath Blayne’.

Duke Keane is also taken from ‘The Black Island’.

The narrator of ‘The Call of Cthulhu’ is named Francis Wayland Thurston.

Professor Hidgens is based off of an art student named Henry who is known for being eccentric and living in solitude. (The Call of Cthulhu)

Emma Perkins is named after a ship called the Emma. The crew got into a battle with Cthulhu’s cult members, which resulted in the Emma having one survivor. (The Call of Cthulhu)

John MacNamara is based off of the police officer John Legrasse. (The Call of Cthulhu)

Willabella Muckwab resembles Lavinia Whateley, from ‘The Dunwich Horror’. She has a son, Wilbur Whateley (Wilbur Cross), whose father is the cosmic entity Yog-Sothoth (Wiggog Y’rath). Lavinia went missing on Halloween, and the assumption is that Wilbur killed her.

The Black Book is the Necremonium.

There’s always professors somewhere.

The Dream Cycle:

LOL. The Dream Cycle is a collection of short stories surrounding dream cities. I honestly haven’t read anything about this other than brief stuff from the Wiki, but the connections are painfully obvious.

The word ‘oblivion’ is written in the Black Book. H.P. Lovecraft has a poem titled Ex Oblivione. The narrator sees a gate in his dreams and wants to get past it, but he can’t access it. He eventually does, though. Yikes. Read this post, picture Willabella Muckwab as the narrator for Ex Oblivione, and enjoy.

Bonus: Some of the covers of the magazine that published H.P. Lovecraft’s work (Weird Tales) are sprinkled throughout Hatchetfield.

“Pete, get behind me! I’ve got a gun.”

“Steph… it’s a ghost. I don’t think that’s gonna do any good.”

Rosary? Killer Track, much? Also, the art style for the Black Book kind of resembles this… huh.

-

Note: I had planned to read all of H.P. Lovecraft and the associated work, but the racism is too much for me. I can’t “separate the art from the artists”, especially when everything evil is so obviously and horrendously based on Black people, as well as other races. Again— Shub-Niggurath. Like, seriously?

It’s a huge bummer, because I have so many thoughts— like the implications behind Willabella Muckwab associated with Lavinia Whateley, and Wilbur Cross also being associated with Wilbur Whateley. So much is at our finger tips.

I’m still going to be writing other things, though!

I have more of the Black Book deciphered, so that’s exciting, especially since I actually got some stuff right in my first post. (It was looked at through a more religious lenses rather than an H.P. Lovecraft lenses, though.) BUT STILL. MY EYES HURTING FROM INTENSE SQUINTING SESSIONS WAS NOT FOR NAUGHT! And I know I state some of these things as if they’re facts, but they’re ‘probably based on’ stuff.

Alright. I’m off to read about physics, the concept of nothingness, and the æther in the name of theatre kid.

tldr; the Lang bros made a the TTRPG Call of Cthulhu homebrew and turned it into musicals.

[venomcasserolecomic]

I cannot express how delighted I am with how this page came out. It is truly mesmerizing. I'm so sad at how many tiny details were lost in the resize that I do. (I originally started the comic in kind of a 'challenge mode' where I was working in pixels and the canvas was 850 width (don't remember height) anyhow I resize them all down for consistency. kinda a bummer but also keeps the nice resolution version from getting stolen so I guess that's just how I gotta role.)

SO the style-- big difference right? I know. I was doing some style practice in trying to imitate the HADES(game) art style and on a wild hair I decided to try doing the comic in it. (At the time this page had already been drawn and half inked so I had to go back and re-ink it in the new style but good golly was it worth it.) Also I noticed (caught?) a consistency error that I'd been making. Do you know what it is? if you guess the direction the trailer is facing then you'd be correct. (y'all have no idea how much ranting my poor spouse had the hear as I looked for how many times I'd effed up in previous pages. I'll go back and fix it at some point. Until then I'll keep screaming obscenities.) Anyhow the page is done (and it only took a small portion of my sanity) and the next two are already being inked so chapter one will be wrapped up soon! yaaaay.