#good thing i caught it quick so no one could shame me ahhhh

[legovasavouchiartstuff]

dude so fine he’ll blow ur mind

[whereisten]

The Interview

A Doyoung fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: you’re a journalist that just booked her biggest gig, an interview with Doyoung, a vampire notorious for a series of murders in your city.

Pairing: Vampire!Doyoung x female reader

Other characters: Best friend!Johnny

Genre: horror, angst, smut, violence

Word count: 8.7 K

Warnings: blood mention, descriptions of murder and violence, cursing, smut! (Threesome (MMF), breast fondling, fingering, male masturbation, oral sex, penetration, slight overstimulation, c*eampie.), mentions of chains and knives.

A/N: I am sorry for taking so long to post this, but I hope you enjoy!! I didn’t proofread (shocker) so there may be some errors but I will fix them later. THANK YOU GUYS AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT FOR OUR HALLOWEEN SERIES AHHHH!! It’s been so much fund and I hope you guys enjoy the last few fics we have coming up!!

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You entered the house and walked hesitantly inside, looking around to observe all of the meticulous paintings and art. The mansion was dark and gloomy, it sent a chill through your body to imagine all of the horrors and secrets it held within it. So much murder, so much blood and death. And yet, it was kept in pristine condition by a loyal maid. Not a speck of dust in sight, and no stench to even indicate a single crime having been committed.

You sat down in his office on a cushioned loveseat before you  placed your recorder on the coffee table in between your seat and his.

You heard the jingles of his handcuffs and the many footsteps of police entering a few minutes after.

He sat down across from you as you cleared your throat. You noticed his irritated and burgundy red wrists being burned by the handcuffs around them made of pure silver.

He was stunning, like a painting himself. His skin looked like it was made of the most expensive marble, his eyes looked playful, but held a dark glint about them that you couldn’t shake. His arms were in front of him as his hands were held together by the handcuffs, you couldn’t ignore the obvious presence of his biceps as they strained against the thin material of his long sleeved prison uniform. His veins also bulged from his wrists all the way to his neck.

The devastatingly handsome man looked...hungry.

His tongue darts out over his bottom lip as he watches you observe his features.

“Oh, a pretty one for once, thank God.” He smirks.

You look at him sternly and press record on the mechanism in between you two.

“Good afternoon, Doyoung, my name is y/n. Today, I’ll be asking you a few questions about the crimes you’ve committed, but first, I would like for you to confirm your identity.”

You hold your iPad in your arm and start to type a description of his features and what he is wearing.

Doyoung laughs.

You stop writing and look up at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m chained up in my own house, and not in the sexual way for once…”

You look back to your iPad.

“Unless..you’d like to change that..” he says with a low tone that makes your body shiver.

“Doyoung..you’ve just been sentenced to a lifetime in prison for the brutal murders of 36 people. I’d appreciate it if you’d just answer a few questions so we can both go about our day.”

“Oh dear, I won’t tell you anything unless you get these barbaric things off of me, and get these useless men out of here.” He tilts his head towards the police officers behind his seat.

You shake your head. “No can do Doyoung, you’re a danger man, if they leave I’m done for.”

He chuckles lowly. “Don’t you trust me, sweetheart? My maid is no longer here, she testified against me and fled the country, so obviously I have no intention of ruining my place with anyone’s blood while she’s gone.” A smile crosses his face and it makes you uneasy.

You shouldn’t have done what you did next, but for the sake of writing a damn good article for Neo chronicles, you knew you had to. This trip would’ve been a waste of time and effort. It took you months to convince your boss to get you an interview with Doyoung, the notorious vampire that was just found guilty of capital murder.

He could tear you to shreds in moments with his hands and teeth, but something told you to ask that he be free..just for a few minutes.

He leans forward and keeps your eyes in his gaze. “You want them to release these cuffs, don’t you?”

You swallow hard then look up at the head police officer.

“He won’t cooperate unless you leave and take the handcuffs with you, please…” you beg, but the officer immediately shakes his head.

“Under strict orders from the judge, we cannot do that. It’s a miracle that we were even allowed to bring him back here.”

The tall man says without budging.

Doyoung turns to look at him. “Officer...these cuffs really hurt..it’ll only be for a few minutes..please.”

The officer furrows his eyebrows.

“Officer..I promise it’ll only take 15 minutes.” You continue.

“Fine...we’ll be right outside the door.”

You’re surprised to see that the officer agrees. He takes his key and opens up the cuffs. He then places them beside you on your chair.

“Slap these on the son of a bitch if he tries anything.”

You nod. A part of you felt so uneasy now that you were alone with him, but you had to make the most of it and get some information out of him while you could. No one could do what you were about to do, for Doyoung would be put away for life in a few days.

The door clicks and the room falls silent.

Doyoung turns to you and already starts to heal his wrists. “Well, then...should we get started?”

“Where are you from?” You ask.

He raises an eyebrow and throws an arm over the head of his seat.

“I’m from this city, dear.. I was just raised in a very different one...a few hundred years ago, without the cars, without the noise..”

“You’re the first of your kind that society has come across. Are there any more like you?”

He chuckles then looks at you and tilts his head. “There’s no one like me..”

You lick your lips quickly and lean forward. “Are there any more vampires, Doyoung?”

“Of course there are, some lurk in the shadows, some live boldly as the very doctors that take care of you. No one from my bloodline is alive however.” His gaze shifts downward as if he’s reminiscing.

“How do the vampires survive without being caught?”

He looks back up at you. “We just feed on animals to get by.”

Your heart began to race, you were finally getting information that no one else knew about, for Doyoung never spoke a word to investigators looking for answers about vampires.

“So why did you feed on humans and kill them instead of changing them?”

“For survival, sweetheart. I’m a man with very expensive taste..I’ve been killing humans for years, but I got lazy and decided to not run from city to city..I’d take out anyone that was evil or treated others like shit..some of my victims deserved it, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

You looked to the side. You did notice that he mainly killed other murderers or robbers.

“Furthermore, humans have polluted the earth so badly, the taste of animals that feed off of diseased grass is just disgusting. I couldn’t take it anymore.” His face winces.

“And human blood..is it good?”

Doyoung smirks. “Oh, my love, you have no idea. It’s sweet and savory, there’s nothing like it..and if I may say, it’s even better when the subject surrenders willingly.”

“Did your subjects surrender willingly?”

He looks up and tries to think. He taps his chin. “No..I don’t think any of those bastards surrendered, they were quick fixes to my thirst. There was one woman though..Hmm what was her name?...Was it Diamond or Daisy?”

You closed your eyes as you listened to him struggle to remember the names of his victim.

“Darlene..her real name was Darlene, but she went by Tiffany at the strip club she worked at.”

“Ahhh! Yes! Darlene..she was sweet, magnificent. I remember taking her in the back of my car, she was ecstatic. She felt amazing around me, so warm. Her body shook as I stretched her out and played with her beautiful womanhood..such a shame.. she was so willing.”

You swallowed hard as tears filled your eyes. Doyoung was making light of a dark situation that ended in the murder of a young woman just trying to live her life.

He leans forward to get your attention. “First..I tasted her lips, then I placed my tongue around her hard nubs. I traced my tongue down her abdomen and all the way...down, before letting it rest on her folds. I licked up her essence and listened to her moan and breathe heavily. I can still hear the rush of her blood in her veins. I can still taste her trembling core on the tip of my tongue, and feel her velvety walls around my fingers.”

You cross your legs as his voice lowers more and more with each sentence.

His dark eyes hold onto yours as his smile grows. He can smell the pool building in your underwear.

“In and out, I moved in and out, circling around her bud before she came hard all over my mouth. But I licked it up and kissed her thigh as she begged for more. She tasted delicious and brain became flooded with thoughts of just how wonderful her blood would taste too. So I wrapped her legs around my waist and pushed into her, sliding in between her delicious and wet folds and hitting her sweet spot over and over.”

“Doyoung..” you turn away and gulp, but he grabs your chin within a split second of standing up in front of you.

He tilts your head upwards and gazes down at your lips.

“I placed two fingers into her mouth...just like this.” 

On instinct, your mouth falls open, allowing him to place two fingers onto your tongue. Your mind went crazy, half of it screaming for you to look away from the dangerous man, the other half saying “yes, God, yes.”

You sat with your mouth agape, waiting for him to continue.

“If only you could taste her...nonetheless, when she came again, her eyes rolled in the back of her head and the veins of her neck stuck out to me, begging to be punctured into. I sucked her dry even as she clenched around me from the overwhelming pleasure.”

He withdrew his fingers, licking them as his eyes held onto yours.

“Your lips must be delicious too.”

You snapped yourself out of your daze and shook your head.

“Doyoung, what the hell?”

He sits back into his chair. “Any more questions, love?”

You clear your throat again and look at your iPad.

“Uhh..what are your abilities?”

He smirks. “Well, I’m sure you can imagine one of them. But in addition to that, we are fast, strong, powerful beings. Some can read minds, some can hypnotize..we are what humans aim to be, perfect beings.”

Your face grows into one of disgust. “With the exception of having the burning need to murder, right?”

He chuckles once more and rolls his eyes. “Humans kill all the time, what makes us so different if we do it for survival? Murders are done out of rage against those that are simply different in terms of religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation all the time, why aren’t you interviewing those bastards?”

You hesitate.

He leans towards you and crosses his arms.

“What if you could make this world a better place by getting rid of those that commit crimes against the helpless? I can see that you’re one that believes in justice.. you can be like me, but use your abilities for good..”

You shake your head. “Absolutely not, you’re a monster. Just because you killed for survival does not negate the fact that you still took many lives.”

He leans back and nods. “Oh, pity then. I thought I’d have a partner for my getaway. I would’ve loved to keep such a pretty face by my side..”

Your eyes widen, you lean back and reach for the handcuffs..but they’re not there.

He jumps up from his seat.

You stand up as well. “What are you doing?”

But within seconds, your arms are behind your back and locked in the handcuffs that he stole from beside you.

“Doyoung!”

He pushes your body so that it lays back down on the love seat. You stare in horror as he crawls over you while looking up your scared face through his lashes.

He licks his lips.

“Thank you for giving me this chance to get away..”

“Help!!” You call out and soon the police break through the double doors.

Doyoung flicks his head towards them and holds out his hand. “Halt!”

He yells and they stop in their tracks.

You cry out. “Doyoung!!” But he’s already dug into each and every one’s necks and ripped into their throats.

Blood platters across the room and the bodies fall down dead almost unanimously as Doyoung moves incredibly fast. He appears as a blur one moment and the next moment, he is over you again, but this time with the lower half of his face covered in crimson liquid and his eyes intense.

He licks your collarbone, slowly trailing his tongue up your neck then to your chin. You tremble and cry as your heart races.

“Mmmmm...sweetheart, I’d take you right here, but you’ll taste so much better when you give in to me completely, I’ll see you soon.”

He disappears, you only hear the breaking of a window behind you.

You close your eyes tightly and sob.

The police officers that were outside in their cars immediately run into the house when they see that Doyoung has flown away.

They open your handcuffs and console you as you turn away from all of the dead bodies on the floor.

When things finally settled, you noticed that Doyoung had taken your recorder, leaving you without proof that this interview even happened.

———

[3 Months Later]

A national manhunt for Doyoung had been going on for months, no one saw the man or..creature. The good part about his absence was that there were no more killings. You tried your best to explain what happened that day, but you couldn’t. Everything felt blurry, all you could feel was this longing to be with him again. He had you under his grasp in just a few minutes, but that partially wasn’t your fault. You were hypnotized, just as the police officer taking him out of handcuffs was.

But you couldn’t help but feel guilty when you thought about the lives lost that day, the families that weren’t with their loved ones anymore because of your weakness. You swore it would never happen again.

You were released from your job at the Neo Chronicles, your boss was embarrassed and dealt with the harshest treatment from not only the legal system, but from the media as well. No one understood how such a huge mistake could be made. They had him and were ready to punish him for his crimes, but in just a few minutes, they lost him, the only vampire known to man.

You worked from home now, uploading conspiracy theories to your own website where people could submit photos, videos or written accounts of their experiences with the supernatural. They could do this anonymously if they wished. You wrote about Doyoung and the vampire community, you even went out at night at farms or in the woods to try to catch vampires in the act of taking blood from them, but you had no luck.

You would set your life to finding Doyoung, you’d make him pay for what he did to you. Even if you were intrigued by him, you’d make him suffer. However, you couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t kill you as well.

———

[One Month Later]

You were about to do some research on cult practices that involved sacrifices, when you heard a knock at your door. You jumped up in your chair at your desk and turned to the door.

You swallowed hard. Had you done too much digging? Was someone tracking you? Were you being watched all this time?

Maybe you shouldn’t have visited the dark web.

You stand up slowly and walk to the door. You hear another knock.

You grab a tennis racket you placed by your door after playing tennis earlier that day. You then look through the peephole and see him.

Your heart started to race. Should you call the authorities? Should you scream for help? No. They would just be too slow, they’d be gone by the time a shriek escaped your throat.

You quickly opened it and held up your racket.

“Ah!!!” You yelled as you swung it, but he grabbed it with one hand and broke in two effortlessly.

Your eyes widened as he stood there with one corner of his mouth tilted upwards. His eyes sparkled in the darkness.

Your jaw fell open while the rackets ripped to your doorstep in two separate pieces.

“Invite me in...I have the recorder.” He demands through a husky tone.

You breathe heavily. “I-I..”

“May I come in...sweetheart?” He pouts.

You sigh and nod. “Yes.”

You didn’t want to but he had the evidence that you needed. Maybe you could just take it from him and he’d leave. With that piece of evidence, you could get your job back or make money online with your testimony.

Doyoung speeds past you and sits at your desk.

“Ooooo..satanic cults...interesting!” He searches through your computer.

“Hey!” You lock your door and walk towards him.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“How have you been doing, my love? Have you been well? Probably not...seeing that you’re stuck at home now, researching this nonsense.” He ignores your question and stands up from the desk.

You walk after him into the dining room.

“Answer me! Why are you here?”

“Have you thought about my proposal? You’ve had a lot of time..”

“Why didn’t you turn yourself in?!” You grab a knife from your kitchen counter and hold it behind your back.

He takes a look at your 4 day old pizza on your stove top and gags. “You and I both know I wouldn’t dare out well in prison.”

“So why the hell are you here?!” You say a little louder.

He turns to you suddenly and flips you around. In just a few seconds, he pins you against the wall with your cheek pressed against it and your hands behind your back.

You grunt as he presses in your back with your elbow.

“Did you know that you’ve been on my mind every night since that day?” He forces the knife out of your hand and trails the tip down the side of your face. 

You wince as you anticipate it breaking your skin, but he only drags it down your neck delicately and watches goosebumps decorate your skin.

He flips you back around so you face him now, he looks down at your chest and breathes heavily over it. He still holds both of your wrists in his hand, clenching his fist around them tightly as you squeal.

“The way you smell, the way you feel, the way you taste...it’s all haunted me..I want you so badly..”

You blink rapidly. “If you want to kill me, why don’t you just do it already.”

Doyoung chuckles and hangs his head low.

“I’m here to ask you again...join me..live as I live and give up this boring life..” he licks long your neck as you struggle in his grasp.

You shake your head.

“No..I don’t want you..I don’t want to be a monster like you.”

He laughs as he smirks while watching your lips. His closeness to you makes you dizzy, but you try to remain firm. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m too old to be fooled, I know you have a recording of our little interview on your ipad..I know you don’t really need that recorder..so why did you invite me in?”

Your face falls. How did he know that you had a second audio recording saved to your iPad.

“Okay...fine, I wanted a reason to let you in..” you search his eyes. 

He smiles and watches your lips.

“Oh? And now that I’m in, what else do you want?”

You pant and lick your lips. “I want..to feel what that woman felt..”

He kisses your neck. “Like this?” He whispers against your heated skin.

Your eyes close as your head falls back. “Yes..take me to my room..” you beg breathily.

He wraps his arms around you and by the time you open your eyes, you’re on your bed with your legs around his waist.

He grinds his covered member into you and listens to you moan.

He continues to kiss your neck and bite teasingly.

He licks over the warm area and moans. The cold touch of his fingertips makes you yearn for him more. 

“This is what I missed, the taste of your beautiful skin..”

He looks down at you through wide eyes, he adores your lips and eyes, watching as you finally give in to him like he’s longed for.

He leans down and kisses your lips.

You reach above your head and place your hands under your pillow. You grab a specialized collar.

“Look at me, Doyoung.” You whisper in between kisses.

He releases your lips and looks up. You suddenly lock the collar around his throat.

He hisses, flying to the ceiling and grabbing at it in an attempt to take it off, but he has no luck.

The collar made of pure silver sends violent and painful shockwaves through his body whenever he touches it.

It tightens slowly to stop him from breathing.

His eyes grow. “What..what have you done to me?” He says as he dangles from the ceiling and looks down at you on the bed with a smile on your face.

“Oh Doyoung, you’re old but you still didn’t see this coming..” you chuckle, everything went as planned.

“Please...please stop this...” he reaches out for you as he gasps for air.

 You stand up from the bed and look up at him.

“I’ll explain this quickly since you’ll be unconscious in about three minutes..”

He loses his grip from the ceiling, falling onto the bed limply.

“Do you remember a tall fellow that you bit one evening as he walked home from work?”

Doyoung groans in pain.

“I’ll take that as a no..” you continue. “Well, this victim’s name was Johnny, he owns Johnny’s Café and locked up kinda late that night when you found him. He became your prey and in the blink of an eye, was left to die in a dirty alleyway. No one was there to help him, no one…” your eyes start to water.

“He was my best friend..and you killed him. Or so I thought..you see, you made a grave mistake with this “murder.” You didn’t ensure his death by sucking until you heard the very last beat of his pulse. You got what you wanted and left him there with a faint pulse. He was able to pull his phone out and call me..I found him through Find My iPhone, and when I inspected his injuries..I realized that he had been attacked by a vampire.”

Doyoung’s eyes roll in the back of his head as he takes his final breaths.

“It was my first time seeing such a wound since I was young. Guess what, Doyoung? My family has hunted vampires since the beginning of time..my grandparents were sure that they had killed all of you in this city...but it seems we hadn’t, and Johnny’s attack is what brought this issue to my attention. Lucky for me, you fell right into my hands, making it easy for me to gain more information about your kind and the actual status of vampires in our city. I was ill-prepared for your hypnosis, however. That’s why I couldn’t lock you down the first time.”

You walk up to him and caress his pale face. You then yank his arm and drag him through your house and down to your basement.

You throw him down the stairs and walk down.

You both hear yelling and crying. 

That’s when Doyoung sees him. That night starts to come back to him, the night when he attacked Johnny.

Johnny is chained to a wall in your basement. His hair is long and disheveled. He yells as he begs for food. His fangs stick out, he looks weak and terrified.

Doyoung gasps. “I didn’t mean for this to happen..”

“This is where he will have to stay, I can’t turn him in because he’s my best friend, but I also can’t kill him or set him free to murder innocent people like a maniac..I will fix him, I swear I will.”

You flip the lid off of a coffin and throw Doyoung into it after much effort. Luckily, he was quite weak from the collar already.

“Even though you turned my best friend into a monster, I am thankful to you for bringing all of your kind’s secrets to light. I will find each one, and I will kill them.” You smirk.

“Enjoy prison, you monster.”

Doyoung only smiles. “I’ll be back, sweetheart. Hunting you will make for a lifetime of joy.”

You shut the lid over the coffin and nail it shut.

You drag the coffin upstairs using a pulley system then call the police to retrieve him.

—————

[2 Years Later]

You enjoy your life as a journalist once again. You gained wealth and notoriety for your interview with Doyoung. You also hunt and kill vampires that killed animals, you finally had used the training from your family to do so.

“I never thought you’d have to do this..” your mom said one day when you visited her for tea.

“I thought..we killed them all and kept you and the rest of our world safe.”

“They’re like roaches..they never die.” Your dad yelled from the living room.

“It is what it is..” you took a sip from your cup.

“But tell me, once one has changed...is there any way to turn them back?”

You thought of Johnny and how you had to watch him suffer now for the past two years. You loved him dearly and spent hours on the dark web searching for clues as to what to do, but nothing worked.

You didn’t tell your parents, for fear that they would tell you to kill him immediately or they’d do it themselves.

You wouldn’t give up on you, you just couldn’t.

The two of you were friends for her 10 years, how could you even think of killing him?

Your mother laughed. “Honey..we’ve tried everything, there’s no way…once they change, the hunger roars through them, making them impossible to tame.”

You nodded. 

“What is it you're not telling me?” She tilted her head when she saw the look of worry in your eyes.

“Nothing, it’s just...some of these people are good people..I just wish we didn’t have to kill them..”

“People? They’re not people! They’re savages and self-centered barbarians! Don’t fall for it, all they do is lure in victims for their own gain. They have no conscience.” Your father walked into the dining room with a freshly carved stake.

“Here.” He hands it to you. “You kill those bastards without any thought in your head, they’re meant to seduce you, make you think that they’re innocent humans with beating and good hearts, but they’re not! Kill them before they kill us.”

You nod and take it from him.

—————

[1 Year Later]

You receive news that Doyoung has broken free from prison. No one knows of his whereabouts so all eyes turn to you.

“We can set up police around your place to keep watch if you’d like..” your boss tells you.“There’s a chance that he’ll come after you first.”

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.”

You weren’t scared at all, and having police around would only draw more attention to you than you needed. What if they heard Johnny in your basement? What if they saw you bringing in live rabbits in the middle of the night?

And if something were wrong, they’d eventually go into your basement only to find a series of hunting weapons and digging gear, for you always buried the vampires you killed deep in the woods.

You headed home and walked in slowly.

The air felt crisp and cool, the night sky peered in through your windows. You looked around and that’s when you noticed that one of them were open, the wind blowing the curtain that should’ve been drawn over it.

You hold your stake close to you and quickly walk over to it.

You slam it down shut and turn the lock, but by the time you turn back around to head to your room, you see Doyoung.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

He stands just a few feet away from you with blood dripping down his mouth and neck in a steady pool.

You step back and walk around in a circle.

Doyoung smirks and walks in a circle towards you too.

“You knew I would be here, and yet, you came home on time..are you not afraid of me?”

He chuckles and holds his arms out.

You raise your stake in front of you.

“Do I look like I’m afraid of you?”

Doyoung tilts his head and pouts. “I’m not sure, your heart is racing, the sweat on your forehead is building, your grip on the stake is weak..”

“I didn’t give you permission to come in..”

He shakes his head. “No no, you didn’t..but someone in this house did.”

Your steps falter for a moment and you swallow hard.

When you listen closely, you hear something happening in your kitchen.

Then your eyes widen when you realize.

“Johnny..”

You gasp and run into the kitchen.

Doyoung laughs loudly.

You scream when you see Johnny sucking blood from a woman’s neck in the middle of your kitchen.

“No!!!” 

“I’ve missed you, my love...but I see you kept him around, locked up in the basement for fun..I used my senses to contact him and tell him to give me permission. You see, he doesn’t enjoy being locked up in your basement.”

Doyoung stands behind you and crosses his arms while leaning against the doorway.

“Johnny!! Stop this please, this isn’t you!” You try to shake him off of the woman but all Johnny sees is red. He has never had human blood before and now his eyes have been opened. You start to cry, your stake drops out of your hand.

“He can’t hear you, he’s enjoying what will now be his favorite meal in the kitchen.”

Doyoung grabs you by the neck and slams you against the wall. You yell out in pain.

“And here we are again, but this time we have some unfinished business, you and I...what should I do with you?”

You shake your head as he lifts your body nearly four feet off the ground while choking you.

“Please Doyoung, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have turned you in..please, just let me go, I’ll run far from here and leave the two of you alone to kill as you please.” Seeing Johnny like this leaves you broken. You can’t believe he’s free to live as a monster after all of your efforts to protect him.

“But running will only make me want you more, I enjoy this game that we play..” 

“Doyoung…” you tap his wrist as it becomes difficult to breathe.

“Being choked isn't so nice, is it?”

“What..what do you want from me?”

“I want you, but I like that you’re a challenge, you make my life exciting, and now that I have you here, I want to let you go again just so I can watch you run.” He grins.

“You can shoot some arrows or throw a few stakes, how about it, y/n?”

“Fuck you! I’m not some toy!”

You try to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Then take my offer..I’ll only ask one more time..will you give in to me?”

You start to shake your head, but Johnny rises up from the body on the floor. He runs his hands through his long black hair and licks his lips while panting.

“Y/n..I feel...amazing.” He smiles at you. Even after all these years of you feeding him small animals and keeping him locked up, he still looked at you with love.

You cry harder. “No..Johnny..please don’t give in, I can fix you, I’ll find a way to turn you back.”

He chuckles then steps closer to you. He already looks healthier with the heavy dose of human blood he just consumed. “And you’ve been searching relentlessly for this cure for how long now?”

Doyoung lets your body slide back down the wall as he loosens his grip.

“I’m so close, just trust me.”

“Y/n..Look at how happy he is, don’t you want to be happy too?”

“yes..join us..” Johnny traces his finger down the side of your face.

“No!” You suddenly push Doyoung off of you and dive to the floor for your stake.

You jump back up but Doyoung takes you into his arms.

“Is this what you want?! To die instead of being with your best friend forever?!”

You press the tip of the stake into his chest, you’re so close, but your mind doesn’t allow you to push harder.

“Do it! Kill me!” He doesn’t put you under hypnosis because he wants to see what your true desire is.

Doyoung watches your sad eyes as you struggle to stab him.

Him being so close to you makes you weak, you don’t know why, but you fall into him more.

You second guess everything and your will weakens more and more each second.

You lean forward and kiss Doyoung’s lips finally.

You relax into his arms as his tongue traces over your lips to enter.

You swallow back your disgust from the taste of blood on his lips and close your eyes. A rush runs through your body, it’s like you’re being commanded by waves at the beach, your body just enjoying the feeling of floating in his arms.

The stake falls out of your weak hands. Johnny comes up behind you, kissing your neck from behind while circling his arms around your waist.

If you could just distract them for a few more moments..you could catch them off guard, take them to your room and grab the stake under your pillow..just a few more minutes.. 

Then..a sharp pain makes you jolt. Your eyes fly open. Johnny’s fangs dig into your neck. He sucks hard while you groan.

“Johnny!” You cry out, but then you moan as a feeling of euphoria washes over your body. You feel amazing, your mind goes blank, a soft, tingly sensation makes you weak as blood rushed from your veins and to his mouth. You’re drunk from their love and you want more.

Doyoung continues to kiss your lips and smiles when he feels you finally giving in to him.

Your heartbeat drives him crazy, he just can’t stop thinking about how good you must taste, so he takes the two of you to your room and lays down beside you on your bed.

Your neck is bent backwards towards Johnny behind you still, your hard nipples covered by your dress are just begging for his mouth.

“Do you give in to me, dear?” His lustful voice echoes in your ear.

“Yes..” you whimper.

In one swift move, Doyoung tears your dress off and throws it to the floor. He licks your hard nubs passionately, darting his tongue out and playing around with them with the tip.

Johnny continues to suck slowly, his hand reaching to your front side. He placed two fingers in between your legs, swatting away your thighs so your legs open more.

You are enraptured by them, completely forgetting your plan. But it didn’t matter anyway, your fate was sealed the moment Johnny bit you. He would either suck you dry or leave you alive to turn into one of them.

A part of you feels regret, but another part has come to terms with your situation. Right now you were focused on the yearning in your chest that made you tremble and the building heat between your legs that needed to be tended to.

Without warning, Doyoung bites your breast and sucks hard after latching his lips around the nipple.

He groans as he listens to you yelp.

You run your hand through his hair. “Yes..that feels so good.”  You felt like you were already climaxing with both men sucking your blood at the same time.

Johnny’s fingers push past the waistband of your underwear and presses against your folds.

Doyoung sucks harder, the taste of your blood is sweet and intoxicating, he never wants to stop.

You feel Johnny’s long fingers rub circles into your clit, your legs widen more as you ache for more. He lets go of your neck and nibbles your ear.

“Can I?” He asks seductively.

“Yes..” you bite your bottom lip, your body becoming more and more turned on from Doyoung’s mouth and Johnny’s touch.

You can feel Johnny’s hard member against your back as he pushes one finger into your throbbing opening, sliding it in effortlessly. 

“You’re wet…” he pulls his finger out and places it into your mouth. You moan while licking his finger.

“So wet..” he then pushes two fingers in, your body flinches as he pumps in and out of your. Your head is dizzy, you felt that you’ve lost too much blood. You’re too weak and Doyoung feels it too.

He gives your breasts a few more kitten licks to clean up the blood on it, then looks into your eyes.

“How do you feel, my love?”

“I’m-I’m dizzy..” you moan shortly after as Johnny adds a third finger and presses upward while inside your pussy.

Doyoung smiles when he sees your low eyes. “It’s time for you to feed..”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

Doyoung uses his nail and digs a vertical line into his throat.

“Taste me..”

“N-no.” You shake your head.

“This is what you are now, y/n..just taste him and you’ll know..” Johnny whispers into your ear.

You stick your tongue out hesitantly and lick up the trail of blood on his neck. It tastes wonderful, amazing and different. You didn’t know what to describe it as but you felt that rush from earlier run through your body once more.

You lick again, this time, placing your mouth into the wound and actually sucking more blood out. 

Doyoung groans while pushing his pants down and taking his member out. He strokes it up and down and pants as you suck hard. You can’t use your fangs yet, but the feeling is still magnificent for him as well.

You need more, a hunger builds in your body and you tilt over Doyoung more to apply pressure.

Johnny withdraws his fingers, allowing you to completely kneel over Doyoung’s lap now.

He lays flat on the bed and watches you mount him. You look beautiful naked, like a goddess. Your eyes are wide with hunger and desire and he’s happy to be at the center of it all. He aligns his cock with your opening, watching as you slide down onto it slowly while wincing.

You breathe heavily and lean forward so you can suck his neck again. You place your hands on either side of his head and move up and down slowly, your body already clenching around him as he fills you up completely.

Johnny wraps his hand around his aching cock and strokes it as you ride Doyoung.

Your body becomes cold even as you sweat from the constant movement.

Your mind is flooded with sounds of Johnny’s moans coupled with the new sound of blood rushing through Doyoung’s veins and into your mouth. 

He guides you down onto him by placing both hands on your ass. You push down onto him harder and faster, moving your hips so that his cock curves into you and presses against that spot every time.

You whimper as your movements stutter.

Doyoung flips you over onto your back, he watches your mouth, covered in blood, fall open into a loud moan. “Come on, sweetheart. Tell me how badly you want to cum.” Doyoung says with an evil smirk across his face covered in your blood now.

He thrusts into you hard and places both hands on your knees. He pushes them further apart and watches as he slams himself into you.

“Johnny..she feels so good..she’s just like you imagined for all these years..”

“But how does she taste?” Johnny strokes himself faster as he aims for your breast.

“Her blood tastes sweeter than any berry, and her pussy? Well, you’ll just have to try that yourself.” He goes faster, so fast you can only feel a satisfying vibration that stimulates your clit.

You throw your head back. “Fuck..Doyoung..”

“Do you want me to stop?” He stops suddenly to tease you.

“No no no no, keep going..please!” You beg in a high pitched tone almost embarrassingly.

He resumes his speed, watching your hands grip the sheets and your eyes roll in the back of your head as you cum.

Doyoung grunts and releases inside you.

He milks himself out completely as you shake from your orgasm. You see stars and entire galaxies, a feeling washing over you like no other feeling.

You gasp and watch Doyoung pull out. He moves to the side while watching his cum leaks out of your entrance.

Johnny then flips your limp body over. He wraps and arm around your waist and pulls you against his hard cock. You’re sensitive so you cry out from suddenly being pushed into by his long member. 

He grabs your hair and bends your neck backward before biting into it to suck more of your blood. Your overwhelming sensitivity soon fades away and your climax starts to build again, the feeling in the pit of your stomach becoming nearly unbearable once more.

Johnny’s nails dig into your waist, slamming your ass against his hips as he reaches your depths over and over. He goes crazy from the feeling of your silky walls tightening around his cock. He wants to bury his cum so deep inside your pussy, that it leaks for days. And your sweet blood, he could drink it forever, he could drink you dry.

But Doyoung won’t allow that. “That’s enough..she’ll pass out if we take any more.”

Johnny stops drinking but grunts as he goes harder and faster.

Your knees make an indent in the mattress, you hold onto Doyoung’s hands for support as your mouth falls open.

“Fuck…” all you can mutter are curse words as Johnny destroys you.

Doyoung kneels in front of you, his intimidating cock sticking out hard once again.

He strokes it. 

You open your mouth and stick your tongue out. You had to taste him, again. You craved him.

With low eyes, you maintain eye contact as he fills your mouth and hits the back of your throat. You flatten your tongue, licking the underside of it. You press your tongue hard against every vein then kiss the tip once he pulls back out.

He pushes back in faster this time, listening to you gag and watching as tear up.

You moan to send vibrations through his body. Doyoung throws his head back and mutters “shit..”

You gag again but breathe through your nostrils.

Johnny presses into you one more time before shooting milky strings across your walls. He pants while cursing then lowers himself so that he can taste you from behind. He licks up all the slick that has escaped and sticks his tongue in as deep as possible.

The night went on for hours as you switched positions and brought each other to paradise too many times to count.

You collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep once the three of you were done.

———-

[The Next Morning]

For the first time, sunlight burnt your eyes and made you suffocate. You tried to jump up from the bed, but then you noticed that your legs and arms were tied to a bed that wasn’t yours. You looked around and saw that you were on it by yourself.

Where was Johnny? Where was Doyoung? Why did you feel a burning hunger in your chest?

You recognized the smell of an old building and looked above you. It looked like you were in some sort of castle. You were covered in a thin white sleeping gown that you didn’t recognize either.

“Doyoung!! Johnny!!”

A door in the corner of the room opens and in walks Doyoung with a smirk across his face and something in his hand.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Doyoung..please, I don’t feel good.” You strain against the chains.

Your eyes widen when you realize what dangles from his grasp.

Johnny’s head..

“No!!!!” You scream loudly.

“Oh, like music to my ears..” Doyoung chuckles and dangles the head above your body.

He sees your body through the thin fabric, your breasts and perfect curves, the warmth between your legs that he missed so badly. He almost regretted his decision.

He bit his lip and watched you struggle.

“Doyoung!! Why?!” You sob.

“Because you’re mine, you can’t be his too!”

Doyoung walks back over to the door and chucks the head outside.

He walks back over to you. “Well, now that we know what happened to Johnny, we need to discuss what’ll happen to you.”

“What did you do to me?!” You say through gritted teeth.

“Actually..it was Johnny that turned you..not me, but I made sure to kill him this time.”

Your face fell. This was exactly what Doyoung wanted. He lured you in by using Johnny, then he got Johnny to change you. They both seduced you to crowd your mind and make you too filled with lust to care. And now, you turned into the very thing that you hated the most.

“Now you realize…” Doyoung nods and strokes the side of your face.

“I couldn’t just let you get away with exposing my secrets and putting me in jail..I mean, the sex was amazing, so amazing, but I still couldn’t let you get away with it.”

You shake your head. “Please..I’m yours, I’ll do anything. I always wanted to be yours but I was too stubborn.”

“And the stake under your pillow? Would you have used it against me?” He pouts.

“No! I was going to love you.”

“Love me? A monster?”

“Doyoung please!!”

“This is your prison now...and when you are free, look for me, I’ll be waiting for you, my love..” he walks out and leaves you alone still tied to the bed.

————

[3 Days Later]

You finally break your chains with your new strength. You run out of the room, but find that you are in an old castle. When you run through the destroyed halls and into the courtyard, you see nothing but ocean.

Doyoung left you on the notorious Gil-Eul Castle, a mansion on a secluded island that was hundreds of miles from the nearest coast. It was known as the meeting grounds for vampires long ago, but your family along with other hunters destroyed it, planting bombs in the form of air strikes to kill everyone inside.

You yelled into the sky and ran around rampantly, searching for anything to eat.

You felt like you were going insane without blood. You were literally burning from the inside out because of the lack of blood in your system.

————

[20 Years Later]

You survived the last 20 years off of fish and rats. You never stopped thinking about Doyoung and how you’d get your revenge. You’d kill him slowly, make him suffer like you had, and even though you didn’t look any older, you felt tired and weak from watching the years fly by in a broken castle.

Until one day..a ship approaches the building. You watch from above as several construction workers all onto the island.

You lurk in the shadows and wait until one of them has strayed away from the group.

The man turns around when he feels that he is being followed, but sees nothing.

He turns back around and continues walking.

You reach out from a hallway and grab him by the collar. You feed on him quickly then do the same with the other men. One by one, you kill each man to quench your plentiful years of undying thirst. 

But you’re not dumb, you save one of the men so that he can bring you back to your country. The man tells you that they had planned to clear the island and build a resort.

You take your tattered dress off and shower in the bathroom on board. You break down in tears when you feel warm water and soap on your skin for the first time in twenty years. You were finally free.

You find a set of clothes set aside by the workers and put them on. It’s a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that’s not the right size, but it’ll have to work for now.

Once home, you hypnotize the man that brought you back.

“Tell them your team was attacked, you were the only one that survived. It was a man with fangs and pale skin. His name is Doyoung.”

The man nods, then walks off the ship and heads for the police station.

You, on the other hand, go in the opposite direction.

You thought about visiting your parents and letting them know that you were okay, but what would they say now that you were a vampire? Would they try to kill you?

You weren’t sure, so you continued walking to his mansion.

You closed your eyes and tried to focus, you knew that all vampires were connected and that if you tried hard enough, you could sense where he was.

It didn’t take long before you heard his voice. It was coming from an apartment about 10 miles away.

Of course he stayed in a nearby city.

You knocked on his door and waited for him to answer.

With round glasses on, he opened the door and smiled widely. “I knew you’d find me..”

“Invite me in.” Your voice was stern.

Doyoung nodded. “Of course.”

“Are you here to kill me?” He walks behind you.

“Yes.”

“Then go ahead.”

You turn to him.

“Why did you do this to me?”

“Life is pretty boring for an old man like me..I wanted to do something different.” He sits on the couch, then pats his thigh. “One last time before I say goodbye. I’ve missed you..”

You scoff. “You never came back, so I couldn’t really tell.”

“You were in solitary confinement, what could I do?”

You walk over to him and sit on his lap.

He placed his hands onto your ass and brought your body down onto his pelvis.

“Did you miss me?”

“No..”

He bucks into your clothes opening, brushing his hard member against it. “Are you sure?”

You bite your bottom lip, then reach to your back and pull out your stake.

You had made it with materials from the burnt down castle. You even engraved your initials into it, knowing that you’d use it to kill him.

“Yes..”

He smirks and licks his lips. “Are you ready?”

“Why aren't you scared?” Your brows furrow.

He chuckles. “I’ve been anticipating this moment for quite some time actually.”

You shake your head. “That’s not fair, this is too easy.”

He flips you over onto your back and suddenly you’re in his room and lying on his bed with him in between your legs. “And would you rather I make it difficult for you? Are you sure you want to wait another 20 years?”

You whimper as he commands your needy body effortlessly.

He grinds down into you. “If you won’t be mine willingly, then I would rather die..so are you ready, my love?”

You pause for a moment.

“Absolutely.” You press the stake into his chest, watching as his final breath leaves his beautiful lips.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Postwoman au (Part III)

N/A: So, here we go. Show don´t tell is one of those things I want to perfect and I hope I can do ok here.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @bamfoftheundead @muninandhugin

Going to a new job is always brings new sensations. Hopes. Maybe even dreams. And Kitty Pryde would like to say she´s ready to begin this new journey with a big smile. "Oh God, what the hell I get myself into?!" she says as her mirror shows her reflection with a nervous smile and swallows hard as once again Kitty is in the waiting room- the waiting room has no signal of the big wedding and in exchange, there´re magazines covering the new sensation. A Hollywoodian celebrity is dating a mutant- inhales and exhales.

Is all Kitty can do. The receptionist appears to be a succubus- is not something to point out, but, the receptionist looks way too much Like Gloriana If, and is a big if here, wasn´t be the eyes. Her eyes are too unnatural to belong to Gloriana- and well it gives ideas as if this is a look a succubus would dig or if is about her "dates"

"Good morning, Miss Pryde, right on time...good, he loves people that are punctual," she says with an upward smile. She types something really quick in her laptop. Once the laptop gives a small sound more or less like "Blink" the receptionist gives her total attention to Kitty. "Mr. Krampus is in room 23. He´s moving out thanks to his work...he´ll need space" and she gives her a key. And nods as if this end the conversation.

"What? how I get to room 23?" Kitty asked confused. And the receptionist has a resting bitch face- or, maybe, the receptionist thinks poor on Kitty´s intelligence and Kitty will have none of that- she punches the table site separating Kitty and the so-called succubus hard. The succubus couldn´t care less.

Kitty holds the key and channels all her unfamous "mean cat spirit" to deal with this situation. "Listen, How in the hell I´ll go to a room 23 if ..." the words die off as Kitty is teleport right away. The succubus shakes her head and continues to do her work.

"Pff, mortals"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Room 23 is an oval room. The prominent colors are coffee-colored and a soft tone of blue. And a curious sight caught Kitty´s eyes- not the many strange objects that must remain nameless for now- it was the window...It is dark and snowing, yet, Kitty is 100% certain of the weather. "But...it was sunny this day...what happened?" and she looks at the window to see snow, and what appears to be a village. "Did I time travel or teleport?"

"The latter, Katzchen!" a voice whispered in her ear and is more than enough to cause Kitty to jump in her feet and gest away from the space she was, even if was a little-and turning to see her boss would be a good thing if this was a normal situation. Now, all Kitty wants to is one thing- "AHHHH I´ll not torture children" she exclaims.

Inwardly, Kitty will slap herself for being so brash. She had a big speech about this and even rehearsal that with Doug, and yet, she goes to the most cliche. For shame!

The woman pulls the Davi star out of her shirt and looks at her so-called boss. "Did you heard me? I´ll not torture children!" and if Kurt was seething and ready to mayhem, well, he´s looking perfectly calm as he takes a small candy, unwrapped, and eat it.

"Oh, I was wondering when you would found out" his smile is too charming for one who works as a tortured and Kitty´s hair goosebumps. "Ok, let´s make things clear. You´re not here to torture kids nor people. I´m. I need you to help my agenda and sometimes deliver things to the others" his golden eyes look at the key on Kitty´s hand- a small key that looks ordinary and plain- "and only that"

"Oh, but you´ll torture people? Great...want me to bring coffee to you too?" Kitty took a small knife and points at Krampus. The deity/fairy is too amused. Too amused and Kitty won´t speculate about why the man seems to happy to see a knife pointed at him.

"I´d not torture the innocents, Kitty, I torture those who have wicked souls. The children I took...is not little ones who watch porn or forget to do chores...no, I´m talking about kids who killed their younger brother, pets just because" and with a snap of his fingers the room changes and images of a young boy drowning a baby is showed much to her displeasure.

"I´m not a monster, Kitty, mere a force to punish the wick. Nothing more or less." Krampus concludes. His golden eyes seem ancient now. And an animalistic smile plays off. "I can show more of my victims...A man who shot his entire family for money. A woman who tried to murder her lover and his wife..." and Kitty raises her hand.

"STOP"

"That´s my work, Kitty...I see this every day and I´m very good in what I do"

"Could have told me" she faces him. Gritting her teeth as the room finally returns to normal. "I didn´t like to know what you do ...by a friend"

"Galaticus indicate you....this is new to me, and you´re right. I should have been more honest" his tone is full of mirth. "Do you still want to work with me?"

Yes?

No?

"Will I not have to torture anyone?"

"Yes, like I said...I only need you to organize my agenda and deliver things...only this"

Kitty exhales and slowly lower the knife. "If I stabbed you...would you felt any pain?"

"Oh, I would feel something but not what you´re imaging"

"Uhm...I think is what I´m imaging" she says holding the key closer now. _____________________________________________________________________________________________

By perchance Doug has an old movie about Krampus- well, old is an ambiguous term to use. The movie has not even 5 years old but as is the first Krampus movie...and the first to get not so favorable reviews...is easy to believe the movie is ancient-and Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby and Doug are invited to watch the movie.

"So...you´re working with Krampus?" Bobby asked bemused. "And Galaticus indicated you?"

"Yes...I have a magical contract if you want to see" Kitty responds a bit grumpy. "By the way, how are Scott and Jean?"

"Oh...yes, how are the couple?" Jubilee pipes as Doug is putting the movie on the DVD player.

"Scott and Jean are rightly pissed. They even refuse to use Prof X´s honeymoon vacation...instead, Doom...yes, I know...even they´re shocked, Doom over a nice honeymoon vacation to them and well, they´re traveling to Paris, Italy and Spain. I know, odd"

Doug then sits on the couch. "Odd love confessions aside...the movie will begin, let´s watch Kitty´s future working with Krampus"

And they silently watch the movie, especially the final part, where Krampus put all members of the family in a snowglobe.

"Well...Kitty, please don´t put us in a snowglobe"

"Speak to yourself...I can be in a snowglobe"

"Bobby, shut up"

And Kitty wonders if perhaps Galaticus hates her.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Krampus is cleaning his tools when his friend, Santa, arrives at his office offering some snacks. "So, still wanting to keep Kitty as your secretary?" and Krampus stops what he was doing to gaze seriously at the old man´s piercing eyes.

"She really had no idea what I was...that was really new to me...and as I mentioned before...yes, I´ll keep her until the contract breaks"

"You think you two may get along?"

"I think she´ll have questions. I think she won´t bide her will to mine and that" Krampus licks his dry lips and shows all his teeth in a big grin. "and I like that very much....way better than the last one"

Now Santa scowls him. "You mean that poor and delusional witch from the wind ways who wanted to sleep with you and turn you in her personal dog? No shit, Sherlock"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Amanda Szardos screams in fury when she got the word that Krampus got a new assistant. "A plain woman like her? Replace me?" and Amanda has to plot, has to be the smartest because she still needs Krampus to do her bidding and sex is not a viable coin for trade anymore.

"Then... the best thing to do is sabotage her work and Krampus will return to me"

[anagentinwriting]

To Catch a Thief - Part 13

Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 4000

Warnings: Language, blood, death

To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist

The Collector’s coming to Wakanda. You couldn’t believe Peter pulled it off. You smiled to yourself as you hiked along the worn down path through the rainforest. You needed some fresh air to clear your head. This whole situation between Peter confused you. Should you be mad at him? Should you not be? You didn’t know what to do or how to feel.

A branch snapped behind you forcing hair to rise up on the back of your neck. You stopped to peek over your shoulder, but no one was there. You shrugged it off as you continued down the worn path. This country was beautiful. With the birds chirping and nature thriving it was a refreshing sight to see, especially when you only saw skyscrapers and concrete. You stopped to take a breath when someone wrapped an arm around your waist and covered your mouth with a rag. You tried to scream as you scratched at the arm, but it was no use. The muscles in your body grew limp as your mind became fuzzier right before everything went black.

Your mind slowly returned to consciousness as you tried to piece together what happened. You got jumped in the forest and now someone was dragging your limp body along until they stopped. Opening your eyes there was nothing but a black cloth. Why do bad guys always use the color black? Is it a rule in the criminal handbook? All of a sudden the ground began shaking beneath your feet and you heard clapping close by. You focused on the clapping until you heard someone’s voice. Peter’s voice.

“No! I brought you here and told you where it was. I’m not going in the tunnel.”

“Let's see if I can change your mind, shall we? Retch,” the unknown voice called. The man holding you, assuming it was Retch, grabbed your arm and put it over his shoulder dragging you along. He came to a quick stop putting you on your knees and ripped the cloth off over your head.

You squinted your eyes as they adjusted to the light. Peter, Meredith, The Collector, Korath, Ronan, Retch, and two other men you have never seen before stood around the room. Your eyes settled on the pillar and beside it laid the necklaces broken open with the stones ripped out. The Infinity Stones were set in the grooves on the pillar granting access to a secret passageway. “What the fuck?

“Welcome, YN. It is wonderful to finally meet you in person.” The Collector walked over taking your hand and lifting you off the ground. You stood up narrowing your eyes at him before he placed his lips on your hand. You pulled your hand from his and looked around the room.

Peter glared at him with a clenched jaw almost like he wanted to kill him. Meredith still looked beautiful even though she was sickly.  Her skin was pale, and she had dark circles surrounding her eyes.  It was nice to see her still putting up a fight and not letting cancer take control of her life.”

Your eyes traveled to The Collector wearing his fur coat from the last time you saw him.  “What’s your game, man?” You asked with pursed lips.

He chuckled. “All in good time, my dear. You’re here because Peter has a soft spot for you and I need to use it against him. So you’re going into the tunnel--” he pointed at the dark hole in the wall “--and you're helping my men retrieve the Soul Stone.”

“The hell I am, I don't have to do a thing you say!”

“Hmmm…. I can see why Peter is so taken with you,” The Collector smirked at your outburst.

“I'll go if she can stay here,” Peter interjected, trying to come to a reasonable solution. He made eye contact with you as if he was telling you everything was going to be alright.

“Now what would be fun about that? You’re both going. Ronan take her with you.” The guy wearing an excessive amount of blue grabbed your arm pulling you towards the tunnel.

“Get your hands off me, assface. I got legs, I can walk myself,” you glared and Ronan released you. He hands you a flashlight making his way into the tunnel. You stand at the entrance taking a deep breath before walking in.

You walked a good distance into the tunnel when something on the wall caught your eye. Using your hand, you wiped away the old cobwebs and underneath them was a painting from what life must’ve been like back then. The image was of a tribe council with a woman standing in front of them wielding a sword. Your fingers traced over the colored image as two Trinkets rushed past you until all you could see was their flashlights in the distance. “Men,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Always in a rush to get to the prize at the end of the tunnel.”

“Some men are capable of waiting patiently for the prize,” Peter hinted beside you. There was a double meaning there but you chose to ignore it for now. “How are you holding up?”

“Overworked and underpaid.” You took one last look at the painting and walked away.

You catch up to the Trinkets to find them standing still with their flashlights beaming down. You pushed past them only to find a hole the same width as the path with no way of getting across. Casting your light downward you noticed it was at least a 50-foot drop with sharp spikes on the bottom. A few skeletons were laying across them, and you flinched away from the ledge when your light caught something moving down below.

T’Challa warned you about the booby trap mechanisms. He wasn’t joking. This was the first one, but you needed to remain calm and strong. Who knows how many more there are? This was something Indiana Jones should’ve prepared you for.

“Snakes…why'd it have to be snakes?” Peter chuckled, beaming his light into the hole. You cracked a small smile thanking the dark tunnel for keeping it hidden. “Come on guys….Indiana Jones.” No one responded making him scoff. “Well, I’m guessing this is how we get across.” He grabbed a rope connected to a ring and started tugging on it to make sure it was secure.

“I’m not going first,” Ronan replied, holding up his hands.

“Me neither,” the Trinket wearing goggles said.

“I’m with Gef on this one,” the Trinket with an interesting choice hairstyle agreed. He had long hair on one side of his head, buzzed short on the other side, and shaved down the middle to separate the two.

“Fine, I’ll be the responsible one and go first,” Peter said, eyeing you.

Peter tossed his flashlight to the other side of the hole before he gripped the rope and swung across with ease. He tossed the rope back, and Ronan swung next followed by his minions. Peter flung the rope back, and you grabbed a hold of it contemplating.

“Hurry up, woman, so we can get out of here,” Gef called out, forcing you to roll your eyes.

“You can do it, YN. It's easy,” Peter encouraged.

“Easy for you to say you're already across,” you yelled back at him. “Sorry, shouting is one of my defense mechanism.”

“Don’t be scared. You got this.”

You nodded, stuffing your flashlight deep into your back pocket and let out a deep breath. You pushed off the edge and started gliding through the air to the other side. You stuck out your leg when you were inches away to safety when you heard a snap. The rope broke off, and you let out an agonizing scream as it started pulling you down to your impending doom. Within seconds, someone grabbed your forearm stopping you. You dangled in the air trying to get your breathing under control when you glanced up to see Peter’s frightened eyes staring back at you from the soft glow of your flashlight.

“Don’t look down. I got you. It’s okay. Let me pull you up.”

Peter lifted you over the edge without any problems. You sat on your knees taking deep breaths trying to stop your body from shaking and pull yourself together. Peter kneeled down beside you and started rubbing soothing circles on the small of your back. You don’t know how long it took to pull yourself together, but you appreciated Peter being there for you. You slowly stood up as you tried to steady yourself. “You good?”

“I’m fine. Yeah,” you whispered, waving it off. “Thank you.”

“I’ll always have your back,” Peter reassured, patting you on the back. You nodded with a small smile, thanking the darkness for keeping your blush hidden. “Shame that rope broke, how are we going to get back across?”

“Ahhhh, Quill’s gonna be busy later,” Ronan teased, making his minions laugh.

“Shut up you blue idiot,” Peter barked.

“Excuse me.”

“Who wears that much blue, anyways? What are you auditioning for a roll in the Smurfs?” You chuckled at Peters comparison.

“It's cashmere,” Ronan mentioned, holding a hand to his chest wearing a hurt expression on his face.

“Is that suppose to make it better?”

“Welllll…”

“Well...how about less talk and more walk,” Peter finished, shooing them off while both of you followed behind them.

Peter saved your life. He protected you and made sure you were okay. He was always there for you when you needed him, and he never hesitated when it came to your safety. Sure, he made some stupid decisions, but who hasn’t. He did it out of the goodness of his heart. This was the Peter Quill you fell for.

You flashed the light on the wall to discover another mural. The same woman from the previous painting was back, but this time she was in two worlds. One world looked like a desert with the sun beating down on her, and the other world was a rainforest with a waterfall. You stopped making Peter stop beside you. “Do you think this is Valkyrie’s story?” You waved your hand over the painting. “I mean, is this her real story.”

“It could be,” He answered, concentrating on the painting in front of him. “Like this was when she got dehy--.”

“Will you two hurry up? We don’t have all day,” Ronan yelled out.

“Is he always such an a-hole?”

“Yeah, I don’t think he knows how to turn it off like I do,” Peter grinned in the dim light.

“You sure about that.” You shake your head leaving him alone to catch up with the others.

Everyone continued to walk down the dark path when you hear a click compelling you to stop. You glance at your feet to see if you stepped on something, but saw nothing. You hear a shifting sound of metal coming from in front of you. You point your light seeing metal blades coming out of the walls heading straight towards you. Peter wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you into his chest forcing the flashlight from your hand as he takes a step back. You hear a high pitched scream and feel a breeze from the metal blade directly in front of you. It slides back in as it continues to descend behind you.

You stood there gripping Peters legs behind you not wanting him to let you go. “Breathe,” Peter whispered in your ear. Goosebumps spread down the side of your neck sending a shiver to your spine. You let out a shaky breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

“Holy shit! How....how did you know where to stand?” You asked and he shines the light to his feet.

“The white squares. Figured there had to be some significance to it when I saw a path of them on the floor.” He shrugged.

“Nice catch.” You patted his leg and he released you.

“Gef’s down,” Ronan shouted. “He stepped on the mechanism--” he shined his light to the button on the floor “--setting off the blades coming through the wall.”

You flickered the flashlight on Gef’s body but quickly turned your back to him. It was gruesome, his eyes were open behind his goggles, and his mouth was hanging open.  He had a huge puncture starting at the base of his neck going all the way past his pelvis. He had to of turned at the right second to almost be split into two. You’re not going to get that picture out of your head anytime soon. Peter grabbed your hand giving it a reassuring squeeze silently telling you it was going to be alright before he let go. Peter had to be scared as much as you were at this point.  You didn’t know what kind of booby traps laid ahead or even if you would make it out alive.

You left the body behind and carried on.  You stayed towards the back of the pack not wanting to be the one to trigger something next.  You didn’t like the Trinkets or The Collector, but you wouldn’t wish them dead.  Behind bars for their crimes, yes, but not dead. Death was too easy but serving a life sentence was torture.

Scanning the walls for another mural you spot it behind more cobwebs. This time, Valkyrie stood in the center of the sunlit cave with her sword hanging off her hips. She stared down at the six glowing stones resting on the pillar. The legend was true, there were six stones, and the last one The Collector needed was at the end of this death trap tunnel.

Peters flashlight beamed on the wall joining yours.  You turned on your heels and walked with caution behind the others.  Valkyrie put so much work into protecting this stone, but why? Was the legend true, did it have magical abilities? It sounded ridiculous, but what if it’s true?

Everyone stopped at the beginning of a rainbow-colored floor with each path representing a different color. On the other end was a huge wooden door with a large ‘X’ on it.

“The ‘X’ marks the spot. I bet the necklace is in there,” funky haired Trinket said, pointing at the door.

“‘X’ never, ever marks the spot,” Peter paused, thinking it over. “It has to be more complicated than that. It can't be a simple walk across the board and open the door. This has to be some kind of trick, but I'm not sure what it is.

The funky haired trinket ignored Peter as he stepped onto the blue path, but nothing happened. He turned around smiling and out of nowhere an arrow went flying through his chest. He screamed falling to the ground dead. He landed on other blue spots on the path which sent addition arrows flying across the room.

“Halfnut, are fucking kidding me?” Ronan groaned in frustration.

“Halfnut? That's his name? Why does The Collector give you such weird names? I mean, what the fuck? Halfnut isn’t even a good name.  It’s like the dude named Taserface,” you chuckled, seeing Peter shake his head at the absurd nicknames.

“Have some respect woman.”

“Wow, really? Respect. Are you serious? Have you met you? You have no respect for anyone. Your 100% a dick.” Ronan ignored you, continuing to stare at the door.

“Look on the bright side, we know it's not the blue path,” Peter joked, making you roll your eyes.

“You first woman,” Ronan nudged you forward.

“Don’t fucking push me.” You scanned the paths deciding which one to take. The Soul Stone was orange so the orange path could be the right one. You placed your foot onto the orange path, and nothing happened. You sighed in relief as you walked to the other side of the room. Both men followed in your footsteps until they reached you on the other side.

Ronan pushed, and pulled on the door but it wouldn’t budge. “Why is this door not working?”

“That’s because we need a key, doofus.” Peter pointed at the long vertical keyhole.

“A key? I didn’t know about a key.”

“I don’t think anyone did. For all we know, no one has made it out of here alive.”

“Fellas, how about we not argue for once and focus on finding the key?” You suggested, scanning the room to try and find something resembling a key.

“Or maybe, Peter should pick the lock to see if his skills are up to par with this era.”

“How could you be making jokes at a time like this,” you exclaimed at Ronan from across the room.  “Two people are dead and if we aren’t careful one of us could be next.” Ronan narrowed his eyes letting out an annoyed sigh.

“Shut up and let me think for a second.”  Peter examined the lock, and you moved towards the mural by the door you didn’t notice before.  It was a self-portrait of Valkyrie with her sword resting on her shoulder. She was gorgeous and the sword she was holding looked familiar almost like you’ve seen it before. It was in the other paintings, but this one was a close-up and far more detailed.  It looked exactly like the one Peter had in his apartment. You turned towards Peter about to say something when Peter pulled out the broken Dragonfang.

“How did you manage to fit the sword in your bag?”

“According to Mary Poppins, you should never judge a bag by its appearance,” he quipped, making you shake your head at him.

“What do you plan on doing with that sword?” Ronan asked, keeping a watchful eye on Peter.

“It’s to unlock the door, you big dummy. This was Valkyrie’s original sword, so I thought it might come in handy. It’s broken but if I'm right the other half is still wedged in there.”

Peter slides the Dragonfang into the key slot and starts turning it horizontally until it clicked into place. The ground beneath you rumbled as the doors in front of you began to pull apart. As you walked through the threshold, lights from the ceiling flickered on brightening up the dark room. In the center of the room sat a pillar with a goblet sitting on top of it, and the back wall had four different paintings telling a story.

The mural furthest left showed what bringing the stones to Valkyries village caused. It brought people into power which lead to war and the annihilation of her village. The one next to it showed her trying to warn the council to stop, but they wouldn’t listen forcing her to go out on her own. The third mural illustrated her speaking with the people of Wakanda asking for their forgiveness. The last image showcased another self-portrait of her wearing the orange stone around her neck. She sacrificed herself to protect this stone, and keep it out of the wrong hands. It accepted her for everything she caused, but what did it cost her in the end? Her life, her soul, her sanity? The five Infinity stones caused a massive amount of bloodshed, and in order to receive this stone, blood would have to be shed.

You turned around tapping your chin. If someone had to drain their blood, where would one put it? Your eyes scanned the room only to stop on the pillar in the center of the room. You went over to it noticing a weight mechanism underneath the goblet sitting on it. “Someone has to drain their blood into this?”

“Make sense. The stones caused a massacre and walking through this tunnel and getting past all the booby traps is too easy. Blood for the stone fits,” Peter agreed, turning back to her self-portrait.

“Which one of you are going to do it?” Ronan sneered, glancing between you and Peter.

“Are you really asking that question? It’s yours! I swung first, YN walked across the path first, it’s your turn.”

“But, who has the gun?” Ronan pulled out a handgun from the front of his pants, waving it around with a satisfied smile on his face. “It will be one of you or both of you. Your choice.”

You turned to face Peter and his eyes were already on yours. From the look in his eyes, you knew he already decided how this was going to go. “Peter, don’t you fucking dare.” He was going to sacrifice himself for you. Your lips trembled as you tried to find the right words. “You’re not doing this Peter. Your mom’s waiting for you. She’s going to need you when she gets better. I have no one waiting for me outside this cave. No one,” your voice quivered. The back of your eyes started to tingle as tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes. “Everyone I care about is either dead or hate me. Peter let me do this. Let me do something for you after everything you've done for me.” He came closer to you taking your hands in his.

“No can do, sweetheart. I can’t let you,” Peter breathed. “This is my fault. I’m the reason you’re here and you shouldn’t have to suffer for my recklessness. The Collector saw right through me.” A single tear escaped down your cheek and he reached up wiping it away with his thumb. “I regret many things in my life, but one thing I don’t regret is falling for you.”

You stared at him in disbelief as tears begin to blur your vision.  How could he say that to you right now? We’re in a life or death situation and he was making love declarations?  What is this a cheesy love story? “No Peter, you can’t…..you can’t do this. I am not going to let you do this. You don’t get to say these things because you think your life is over. You don’t get to make these decisions. You're not the only one in the sights anymore.”

He squeezed your hands. “I’m going to do this regardless because you deserve a second chance.  YN, you’re finally finding your way, and after this is over it will open so many more doors for you.”

“No….no,” you pleaded with your chin trembling. “I can’t...I can’t let you die for me. I can’t watch someone I care about suffer for me.” Peter’s eyebrows perked up but faltered quickly remembering our situation. You watched as tears begin to peek in the corners of his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away before they had time to escape. “Don’t you be stupid. For once in your life...let someone take care of you. Please...please let me do this for you,” you cried as the tears streamed freely down your face.

One of his hands reached up cupping your chin as he gazed into your eyes. His eyes flickered to your lips, and he leaned in for a kiss. His lips were soft against yours, and you felt every terrifying hopeful emotion he was feeling. Your hands crawled up his arms to the side of his neck deepening the kiss. This was your first and last kiss with Peter. Your last kiss ever. He pulled away resting his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes to see his staring directly into yours.

“I forgive you, Peter,” you whispered against his lips. “You’re not the man I knew ten years ago.”

He cracked a lopsided smile as a few tears escaped from his eyes. “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”

“That’s enough,” Ronan shouted from behind you, but your eyes stayed on Peters. “If one of you aren’t going to choose, then I will.” You squeezed your eyes shut ready to take the blow. “And I….choose....you.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered, forcing your eyes to snap open. He pushed you to the floor right before a gunshot rang out echoing in the tunnels.

AN: Sorry about the cliff hanger, but I couldn’t resist! What do you think is going to happen next? What did you think about all Valkyries booby traps? I did reference Indiana Jones a lot on this one, but hey it’s a classic! As always thanks for reading!

[heroes-among-us-all]

Hello!!! May I request an nsfw scenario where bakugou has a shy s/o but shes very lewd in bed and makes very aheagoish expressions? 🅱️ls bb

So sorry for the delay! It takes me a while longer to get around to some scenarios, and yess omg, best boi

NSFW BELOW!

“Are you ready?” Katsuki asked, fiddling with the buckle of his belt. “Remember, we don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, chest heaving as you mumbled a soft “yes”. Your cheeks were flushed and hot, ripples of warmth even managing to light the tips of your ears on fire. Katsuki was hovered above you, one hand firmly planted on the mattress as he held himself up.

“Alright then…” he breathed. “But you’re gonna have to spread your legs for me some more.”

You blushed even deeper. “I-I can’t do that. It’s embarrassing…”

“Huh? You’re already fuckin’ naked, so what’s the damn difference?”

“I-it’s embarrassing if you see down there from up close,” you croaked out. “Just…don’t look too closely, okay?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous, (Name). You’re fucking perfect, and you know it. Seriously, if you don’t spread your legs out more I won’t be able to get inside properly. I don’t wanna end up hurting you, alright?”

You felt your heart running rampant in your chest, but still managed to nod briskly. It was the first time the two of you had ever been intimate, and you really didn’t know how to handle it. How did people deal with being fully unclothed in front of their partner? You just couldn’t understand how you were expected to bare everything before him and not feel the slightest twinge of embarrassment.

Maybe I really am too shy for my own good…

With a great deal of effort on your part, you were able to pull apart your legs and grant Katsuki free access to your naughtiest parts. It felt like you were burning up just from him looking at you—lord knows how you’d react once he was inside.

Groaning from his own arousal, Katsuki pulled down the waistband of his pants and withdrew his stiff, aching member. You immediately felt dizzy just from looking at it. It was the first time you’d ever actually seen it, and it’s size alone was enough to make you shudder from imagining the pain it would likely cause. 

He pumped his shaft twice, crimson eyes brimming with passion and lust as he stared you down. Ever so carefully, he positioned himself before your entrance, tip grazing against your slick. 

“You’re sure you’re ready?” he asked again. “Cause after this…I don’t know how the hell I’ll be able to stop myself.” 

“…I’m sure.” 

Your voice was barely a whisper, but you knew he’d heard it. Katsuki gave you a slow now, gripping down onto your hips for stability. Your fingers instinctively gripped down onto the bedsheets as he leaned into your frame. And then you felt it—the ever-so-torturous stretch of your most tender areas as he pushed himself inside of you. 

“FUCK!!” you cried out, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes. Katsuki caught a glimpse of your contorted expression and all but turned white. 

“…S-shit!” he cursed. “(Name), are you okay?? I can stop if you—“ 

“No, don’t stop there! I-it’s already…halfway in…” 

Katsuki bit down on his lip, visibly worried. Still, he decided to listen to your pleads, exerting even more caution as he slowly forced himself deeper. 

You groaned, wondering if the slow pace was making it worse than it should’ve been. His size and thickness alone made it feel as though he was pushing up into your womb, and it fucking hurt. 

It fucking hurt…but it also didn’t? 

He’d just forced his way inside, so you couldn’t be sure of it, but it seemed as though there was the tiniest twinge of pleasure that had mixed in with the slow-rolling wave of pain. 

You wrapped your arms around Katsuki’s back, breathing raggedly into his chest. 

“O-okay…” you managed. “Start moving now…please.” 

It had been taking every fiber of his being for Katsuki to restrain himself, and he didn’t need to be told twice. He thrusted experimentally; a bit too slow for his liking, but he growled in pleasure nonetheless. The soft moan you let out in response was the perfect ammunition to egg him on further. 

His movements started off slow and steady, but were quick to morph into something more—a carnal, primitive desire that led Katsuki to slam his hips against your own at an unrelenting pace. 

“O-ohh…” 

You moaned in affirmation, each thrust carving a new layer of pleasure inside your core. Katsuki growled at each dazed mumble you let out; each breathy pant that slipped out your lips. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” he rasped, reaching out to knead one of your breasts in his hand. “Ah, shit—how the fuck do you feel so damn good??!” 

The more his frenzied pace increased, the more you felt you reason slip away. It was a strange sensation, but it almost felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest; you felt free of your shame and inhibitations. What was there to be embarrassed of in the first place? It was just a physical display of love, nothing to shy away from. 

And it felt oh-so fucking good. 

You’d begun crying out louder without even realizing it. “God…YES!” You dug your nails into Katsuki’s back, eliciting a throaty growl as he pulled his length out, only to sheathe it back inside you in one swift motion. 

You swore his tip was kissing your cervix, staining your vision with blurry flecks of white. 

Katsuki licked his lips, eyeing your erotic expression with visible delight. 

“You like that, huh?” he growled. “You like when I ram my cock deep inside of you?” 

“YES!” you cried out almost immediately. “Ohh, yes…I love your cock, Katsuki. Give me more…” 

His eyes widened at your words, pace faltering slightly. It was now his cheeks who were flushed a bright red. He almost looked as though he couldn’t believe the words coming out your mouth.

But a sadistic smirk was soon to play at his lips. 

“Oh, yeah?” he teased.”You love it that much, huh?” 

You mewled in delight, only stroking his ego even more. Katsuki pulled you in by the hips and spread your legs out farther. He was now staring openly at your folds, red and swollen from his merciless thrusting.

Katsuki let out a throaty chuckle. “Just earlier you were saying how embarrassing it was to be seen like this. What happened to that?” 

“Ahh—I changed my mind…I-I like it when you look at me, Katsuki.” 

“Yeah?” he growled. “You like it when I look at your wet pussy? God, it’s soaking—how fucking bad do you want my dick?” 

You choked back a cry as he slammed himself inside of you with unwavering brutality. The slapping of flesh intermingled with Katsuki’s raspy moans, but were senselessly drowned out by your deafening wails. 

It was almost like you could feel your consciousness slipping; as if you were losing yourself in a warped reality as his thrusts carved themselves into your core. Your chest was heaving like never before, hot and flushed pink both from your arousal and Katsuki’s merciless biting. 

Your eyes lolled back into your skull, begging for him with every fiber of your being. You could could feel the building warmth in your abdomen, already on the verge of spilling over. 

“Harder…” you whined. “Harder!!!” 

Katsuki forced his head in the crook of your neck, breathing hoarsely against your ear. 

“Say my name.” 

“K-katsuki—” 

“Louder!” 

“KATSUKI! KATSUKI! KATSUKI—AHHH! Ahhhh!”

Every nerve in your body surged in release as you screamed your lover’s name at the top of your lungs. You felt as if you were floating, the only thing keeping you from drifting away being Katsuki’s firm hold on you. 

He bucked his hips forward, all stability in his voice dispersing into nothing as he sought out his release. 

“…Fucking hell,” he groaned. “You’re so fucking hot, (Name). You’re so fucking perfect—ah, shit!” 

Katsuki’s fingers dug their way into your flesh, chest convulsing as he reached his climax. You whined hungrily, still riding out your own high as his thick seed spilled inside of you. 

A few hoarse breaths and he had collapsed on top of you, both your bodies burning as though they’d been lit aflame. You heard the disgruntled moan as he pulled out, rolling wearily onto his side. 

“Shit…” he muttered, bringing a hand up against his forehead. “That was fucking amazing.” 

“It really was.” 

You propped yourself up on your elbows, leaning into him as you playfully licked your lips. 

“So…you wanna go again?” 

[putschki1969]

Japan ~ Summer 2018 #1 🎌🗻

Quick introduction: Hello my lovlies!! As most of you might already know, I went to Japan this summer. It was a rather spontaneous decision based on the fact that both Hikaru and Wakana had announced their solo lives. At that point I was suffering from a serious case of Kalafina withdrawal so I felt like I had no choice but to go. I just needed to see them. Also, it was my 30th birthday so I thought I would treat myself. You only turn 30 once, right? On a side note, the timing finally gave me the opportunity to do something I had wanted to do for a few years now. Climb Mount Fuji. o(〃＾▽＾〃)o So yeah, that’s the backstory of my trip. I stayed in Japan from July 30 till August 14 and pretty much my entire trip was dedicated to Kalafina Pilgrimage. Let me tell you this, it was by far the best summer vacation of my life, worth each and every penny! And believe me, there were a LOT of pennies involved XD

Notes: Once again this is coming pretty late but not as late as my previous travel report so that’s a good thing. It took some time to gather my thoughts and put them all into words. This report will be a bit different from the last one since I thought it would be nice to include some travel tips here and there. I guess you could see this as some sort of travel/Kala-guide. Many of my followers have never been to Japan so I guess some general info would be useful to make things easier for you if you ever decide to travel to Japan.

Please note that this is Part 1 of my report. The other parts will follow in the near future (hopefully).

Without further ado, let’s get to it 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

July 29 (Sun) ~ July 30 (Mon)

My flight to Japan was scheduled for Sunday July 29. Finally a direct flight again. I HATE layovers with a passion. As always I couldn’t sleep on the plane so I watched all kinds of movies (Blade Runner 2049, The Greatest Showman, Love Simon, Red Sparrow and La La Land - I really don’t get the love for La La Land o.O). 11 hours later I landed at Narita Airport (8 am the next day JST). The second I stepped out of the plane and walked through that tube thingy that connects planes to the airport I thought I was gonna die, it felt like I had just opened an oven and a blast of heat and steam washed over me. To say it felt like a sauna is an understatement. Thank God the tube was rather short and I was soon insiden the airconditioned Narita Airport. I took my time there since I knew I wouldn’t be able to check into my hotel before 14:00. Got my luggage, got my wi-fi sim card, got my JR Pass, charged my Suica, got some instant Chai from Starbucks (the one that Hikaru had just recommended in a blog post XD), bought some fancy looking writing paper (for my letters to Hikaru and Wakana). So yeah, I basically chilled and caught up on all the stuff that I had missed while I didn’t have internet. Around noon I took the Narita Express to Tokyo. I always take the N’EX because it’s super convenient and fast. The fare is high but it’s covered by the JR Pass. From there it’s just one station on the Yamanote Line to my hotel. When I am in Tokyo I always stay at a business hotel in Kanda. Cheap and convenient. Ugh, the short walk to my hotel was hell. Carrying a backpack, shoving my luggage ahead of me, all of that in the middle of the day with the sun blasting down on me. Thankfully two locals took pity on me (I must have looked like I was about to die XD). They helped me with my luggage and brought me to my hotel. All the way I kept apologising because I honestly didn’t expect them to carry my stuff. I was like, “no, no, don’t do it, I will carry it myself!!” But nope, they were pretty stubborn about it. Ahhhh, everyone is so kind, it always makes me happy to be back in Japan. I guess those are the perks of looking like a small girl, everyone feels the need to help you XD Anyways, I checked in, freshened up and then I did a bit of shopping in Akihabara. Nothing extraordinary, mostly I just looked for second hand Kalafina stuff XD (as I always do) During this trip I didn’t buy a lot though. A couple of singles (One Light and Blaze), the LEs for “After Eden” and “far on the water”, that’s about it. I came across re/oblivious but meh, it was too expensive for my taste, that CD isn’t too high on my priority list at the moment if I am being honest. Anyways, I didn’t do much else that day since I was pretty exhausted from my flight and I definitely needed to rest considering all the things that were lying ahead of me. Before I headed to bed I wrote my letter for Hikaru (thank God I bought a bunch of stationary because I screwed up so often and had to start on a new paper XD) and that’s a wrap for my first day in Tokyo.

❗ Some tips ❗

Try not to travel to Japan in the summer time! Flights are crazy expensive, there are lots of typhoons, most places are brimming over with people (Japanese and tourists alike) and the awful humidity makes you want to kill yourself.  

Get a JR Pass if you plan to travel a lot by train/shinkansen (long distance trips). Believe me, it pays off to have one even though the price might seem a bit scary. I like to get to places fast, don’t wanna waste my time by using slow trains or buses. That’s why for me the JR Pass is perfect but it might be different for some of you.

Get a Suica. While the JR Pass is quite convenient, it doesn’t cover any of the metros and other stuff. In most cases you will be able to get around using just JR lines but sometimes it will be much easier to just take the metro or a bus and in these cases a Suica comes in quite handy. You simply charge your card and off you can go.

Get a rental sim card or a portable pocket wi-fi. The first time I went to Japan back in 2014 I didn’t have either of the two and man, I still don’t know how I survived, having no internet sucks. Wi-fi is super important, you can use google maps for orientation, you can always stay in contact with other people. You really shouldn’t travel without it. I recommend sim cards (if your device is unlocked) because the coverage is just much better. Some pocket wi-fis don’t work well in rural areas or underground. Definitely pre-order and don’t get it at the airport (so over-priced there!). I always have my rental delivered to the airport post office. In the past I have used the CDJapan service because it’s super reliable but there are other (cheaper) options I think.    

I’d recommend you stay in the Kanda area or close to it: This only goes for people who want to stay in a hotel, if you are wiling to stay in hostels/shared housing the Asakusa area is probably better suited for you. Anyways, this area has a lot of so called business hotels. The rooms are small and basic but really, it’s all you need. And it’s not too expensive. While there are business hotels in other areas, Kanda is just a super convenient location in my opinion. Just one JR station away from Tokyo (down)/Akihabara (up). There’s a direct JR express connection to Shinjuku. Last but not least you have the Metro Ginza Line which connects you to the fancy-schmancy area of Tokyo.

July 31 (Tue) ~ Hikaru Birthday Event

I already posted a pretty extensive report about this day (☞^o^) ☞ HERE! Be sure to check it out if you haven’t already (I have edited it a lot ever since I first posted it). However, there are still a couple of things I didn’t mention there. That day I got my package from Fril with the Keiko Lily Brown blouse and Wakana Candy Stripper sweater I had wanted for a super long time. Too bad it was too hot to wear either of those. Aside from the two clothing items, I also finally got my Harmony magazine and my Hyakka Ryouran key pendants. And of course all the Hikaru merch. Ahhhh! It was a truly glorious Kala-day and I felt like I was being showered with all kinds of Kala-stuff. This was also the start of my Kalafina Pilgrimage (as I like to call it XD). As I have mentioned in my report, my friend Sai and I went to La Maison Kioi. I had already been there during my January trip but it’s such a lovely place that I didn’t mind going again. Still haven’t been to the private room though T_T Such a shame. But it’s on my to-do list. One day I will be in that private room!!! Then we went to Afternoon Tea - Tearoom. It’s the place where Hikaru bought her calpis lassi. We went to the shop in Shibuya Mark City in case any of you wanna go there too. The lassi was okay, nothing spectacular but not too bad. I guess you need to like the taste of calpis. After the live when I got home I immediately had to look for Hi-chan’s blouse. And YAY, I managed to find it super quickly. The price shocked me to be honest. It was almost 100 bucks even though it was already 50% off. At that time I didn’t really wanna buy it because I thought it was too expensive but oh well, I changed my mind XD (but more on that in a later post...)

❗ Some tips ❗ 

Try using pages like Fril or Zozoused to find old Kalafina fashion items. On my twitter account you can find all my detective discoveries (there’s pretty much nothing else there). You can make awesome deals on those sites. Kala-clothes are super expensive as we all know but when you buy them used, they are MUCH cheaper. The Japanese take a lot of care of their clothes so even their used items will be in great condition.

Try to get to the venue of a Kalafina live as early as possible if you want to buy all the merch. Yes, I know it’s rough and it feels like a waste of time to stand in line for hours on end but believe me, it’s worth it. I have seen many people underestimate the whole lining-up thing. As a reference, we were there at 10 am, the sale started at around 1 pm iirc. It was a small event on a weekday but still, by the time we arrived at the venue there were already around 25 people lining up and afterwards there came a ton more. 

Try to bring little souvenirs from your country when you plan to meet up with fellow Kala-fans. Doesn’t have to be much, maybe some small chocolates or something. Everyone will appreciate the gesture and you won’t feel so bad when you receive a ton of stuff from the people around you.

Aug 1 (Wed) ~ Aug 2 (Thu) a.k.a. Mount Fuji Climb

The toughest two days of my trip (my entire life if I am being honest). Ever since 2016 (when Keiko first voiced her wish to climb Mount Fuji) I have had this idea stuck in my head. You know me, I am a crazy-Keiko-fan, she is my idol, my inspiration, literally the love of my life (♥ω♥ ) ~♪ When she said that she wanted to do it I KNEW I had to give it a try too. However, for the longest time I didn’t know if I would ever be able to do it. For one I am basically the least active person on this planet and two, summer is the official climbing season and I had never actually planned to travel to Japan in the summer time. But then all of a sudden the stars aligned and everything fell into place. When I decided to travel to Japan this summer I also decided that I would use the opportunity to climb Mount Fuji. There was no way around it. Plus, I thought it would be a great challenge for my 30th birthday (which was on Aug 2). In preparation I did a lot of cardio and leg strengthening, I also tried to walk AT LEAST 5 km every day for about two months. I met up with Sai at 11 am on Aug 1 (I am so glad I convinced her to come with me - she is a fellow crazy-Keiko-fan XD). We had some lunch at Shinjuku Station (I went for pizza because I thought I could use a lot of energy - and yup, I was right!). Then we took a direct bus to the 5th Station on Mount Fuji where we ate even more food (some overpriced curry). After acclimating for a while we started our hike at around 6 pm. We tried to be all inconspicuous and pretended to be part of a group led by two tour guides. These tours usually cost a lot of money and you can’t just take part in them but I think the tour guides took pity on us because we were all by ourselves (and we are both small so we probably looked like little girls). Or I don’t know, maybe they thought we were annoying gaijins but at any rate, they didn’t tell us to get lost so I guess that’s a good thing. The pace of the group was SUPER slow (which was good because it helped save a lot of energy). I had my issues walking in the group because I can’t stand crowds but it was probably for the best. After about an hour it started to get dark (thank God we all had our head lights because the darkness up there is unbelievably black, you don’t see anything). Soon after it also became freezing. You didn’t notice it when you were walking but whenever we took a break, you could feel the coldness creeping up on you (especially with all the sweat on your body). The entire climb took about 10 hours I would say (much longer than most reports had suggested). Obviously we took some breaks in between but for the most part all we did was climb (at a very slow pace though). Half of the hike we walked together with the group but then they stopped at a hut to rest there. We hadn’t booked a hut so we continued by ourselves but at that point there were so many people on the mountain that you were never alone.

Here comes the embarrassing part. Half-way up I had a full on panic attack. Like literally, I was hyperventilating, I was crying, believe me when I tell you, it wasn’t pretty, I was a mess. Some of the people around us thought I had seriously hurt myself or something but really, it was just me having a meltdown. Quick backstory: I suffer from a serious case of vertigo, I mean sometimes I can’t even walk stairs without getting dizzy. Now for the most part the climb wasn’t too bad. At least until we reached the 7th Station. It was exhausting of course but we had chosen the easiest trail (Yoshida), I was trying my best to always face the mountainside, I never looked down and I had my friend walk between myself and the hillside. But between the 7th and 8th Station the terrain was HORRIBLE: There are lots of steep, jagged-edged rocks. It’s very dangerous (or at least it FELT very dangerous to me). I was frightened to death. I had to use my hands and because I am so small I often had to hoist myself up the HUGE rocks. I was pretty much on my hands and knees for who knows how long. I tried to find the small rocks but sometimes there just wasn’t a way around a big one. The path got narrower as we continued along and there were sections where the ledge of the mountain was barely half a metre away from us! Can you imagine??! HALF A FREAKING METRE! That’s nothing. (*/ω＼*) Sometimes there wasn’t even a rope! Not that a tiny rope would have saved me from falling down (but you get my point!). You couldn’t really see anything, you just saw the blackness next to you. I tried to focus on myself and the person in front of me. And I held onto the mountain as best as I could. This is where being in a group came in handy. Because I was surrounded by people, I was literally FORCED to continue, I couldn’t just stop. This was honestly the scariest and most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. And then when we were taking a short break at one of the huts, I was having my crazy breakdown. I don’t know why it happened at that point, maybe because I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Or maybe I was scared of what would still happen. No idea, but I was close to giving up. I am so grateful to Sai for being by my side, she provided so much support and comforted me. I tried to think of Keiko and how I was doing this because of HER. Somehow, it helped a lot, keeping her in mind provided me with lots of strength. I am not a religious person but I guess this comes close to what people feel when they ask for a little aid from God...(sorry, this might sound blasphemous to religious people but I think it really was like that. It was like having a comforting presence around me that guided me ahead). Oh well, slowly but surely I managed to calm down and then the tour guide said that these had been the scariest parts and the rest of the hike wouldn’t be as bad. What a relief!! Soon after the group took shelter in a hut while we continued onwards. I really wanted to see the sunrise. The final parts were tough, I am not gonna lie. There were so many people that the trail got congested, the terrain was steep again and the summit felt like an eternity away. Then FINALLY at around 3 or 4 am (I don’t reallly know anymore) we reached the top. Sai and I fell into each other’s arms. We cried, we celebrated. We had done it!! ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧ All thanks to Keiko!!! BANZAI!! We found ourselves a nice place and waited for the sun to rise. At this point we were freezing and exhausted so the sunrise didn’t feel as epic as I had expected (or maybe my expectations were too high). It also started to get a bit cloudy so the clouds obstructed the view. But still, mind-blowing experience.

We warmed ourselves up a bit in one of the huts, had some breakfast (or at least Sai did, I just had a coffee - was still feeling a bit off due to my panic attack) and checked out the crater. Then it was time to make our way down. Thankfully you are taking a different trail than the one up. The way down is basically the trail the bulldozers use to transport stuff up and down the mountain. The road is slightly steep but nowhere near as steep as the way up. It’s also not as narrow so you don’t feel like you are falling off the mountain any second. What makes it difficult though is the slippery gravel. You have to be really careful not to slip. Walking downhill is also really hard on the knees and feet so we were in quite some pain. Once again it took longer than expected. I think we walked for about five hours in total until we reached the 5th Station. We took a lot of breaks though and listened to Kalafina. It felt amazing and eased our pain. The further we went down the hotter it got. [I am really surprised I didn’t get sick after the whole thing, so many temperature changes, so much freezing, so much sweating, so much physical exertion and sleep deprivation...I am really proud my body made it through all of that XD] Unfortunately we missed the bus we had reserved for 11 am but thankfully that wasn’t a huge issue because we managed to get seats on a later bus at around 1 pm I think. At around 3 pm we arrived at Shinjuku Bus Terminal and were hit by the Tokyo humidity. The air was so nice and crisp up on the mountain (even on the 5th Station)!! It was a huge shock to be back in the oven that is Tokyo. The plan was to go back to my hotel to freshen up a little and then have some celebratory dinner together. That’s when I had my second breakdown. The hotel staff wouldn’t let Sai come up to my room. I mean, I know the rules, single bedrooms don’t allow visitors but hell, we looked like shit and we hadn’t slept and we were dirty and sweaty and we really just wanted to freshen up a little. I thought they would understand...but they didn’t ...I felt horrible about that because things weren’t going according to plan. I didn’t know what to do, I certainly wasn’t going to leave Sai waiting in the lobby while I freshened up. So yeah, I was just sad and frustrated and exhausted which led to a ton of crying. Once again Sai was the one to provide comfort. We eventually decided to just go have dinner in our current attire. To hell with dirt and sweat. We went to Akihabara, found ourselves a nice Shabushabu place and stuffed ourselves with a ton of meat XD Too bad I forgot to take pictures, it truly was a wonderful meal! We really needed all that meat to recharge our batteries. Then we parted ways and I went back to my hotel. After getting all the dirt and sweat off me I called my family because everyone wanted to talk to me, it was my birthday after all. Then I fell into bed and had a nice refreshing sleep. All in all it was an “interesting” and eye-opening experience, probably the most scary yet exciting thing I ever did. I feel proud of what we achieved during these two days and I will forever treasure the memories. Kalafina has influenced my life like nothing else. They have made me become a better person, a stronger person. This experience has made that very apparent. Without my love for Keiko I wouldn’t have been able to do this. She really inspires me every day and I felt so incredibly close to her while I was up on that mountain. Combined with my nail appointment the next day, this was probably the closest I ever felt to her. It was like a soothing balm after not having heard anything from Keiko in such a long time. Last but not least, I gained an amazing friend. Sharing this experience with Sai felt special, it’s almost like there is a bond between us now.

❗ Some tips ❗ 

Take Mount Fuji seriously! I think I really did, I prepared myself thoroughly but still, I wasn’t 100% prepared for the experience. So yeah,  do not underestimate the climb! People often say it’s an easy climb but that’s not true. It’s certainly not the Everest but it IS a challenge. At some point or another the altitude WILL get to you and the temperature changes are not to be taken lightly. Plus, you have to be in good physical shape.

Good shoes are key.

Bring lots of clothes. It gets VERY cold at night (the temperatures can drop below 0°C). Ski wear is often recommened. Definitely some layers. A hat, a scarf, some gloves and of course a head light.  Also, some oxygen in case you suffer from altitude sickness (it’s sold on the huts).

Hydration is actually overrated. If you walk at a slow place (like we did) you won’t need a lot of water. At least we didn’t. So it’s best not to burden yourself with unnecessary weight. I would say a small bottle is enough, no need to bring 3 litres or whatever. It might be different if you walk during the day since you are constantly under the sun.

Even on the easiest trail (Yoshida) there are very dangerous parts so be careful and take things slowly. And be mindful of people behind you!

Decide whether you want to climb at night or during daytime (or both). We decided on a night climb without staying at a hut. This is physically demanding and not many people recommend it but you save a lot of money and time. Hiking during the day and taking shelter at a hut during the night might sound like a good idea but there are downsides to it. First of all, you are constantly under the sun. Secondly, the night at the hut will cost you A LOT and it will make your entire trip a lot longer. Plus, it is most likely not as re-energising as you might think because you will not get proper rest due to all the people around you. Lastly, there are still a couple of hours of night climbing left if you want to see the sunrise. So yeah, that’s why I decided against a day climb.

Expect to pay around 10 bucks to be able to hike up Mount Fuji. It’s some sort of mandatory donation. Also bring lots of 100 yen coins with you because you will need those to use the various bathrooms (which are quite horrible and have no running water so you better mentally prepare yourself for that).

Reserve your bus seats in advance but give yourself PLENTY of time. A one-way bus ticket costs around 20 bucks.

Aug 3 (Fri) ~ Nail appointment at ROI Salon

I didn’t do anything that day except go to my nail appointment (I was still exhausted but surprisingly not in a lot of pain. YAY!). (☞^o^) ☞ HERE’s my thorough report of my experience. Be sure to check it out. I fangirl a lot and I have since edited it quite a bit XD As I have mentioned above, my climb and this appointment have made me feel super close to Keiko. I don’t know how to explain it but I felt a connection. Plus, hearing that Keiko is doing fine, that she is finally getting some well deserved rest, it made me happy. I never had my doubts that Keiko was doing fine but to actually hear it felt nice. So yeah, the first few days of my trip were filled with Kalafina Love. During the Birthday Event I felt like an intimate connection was formed between Hikaru and myself and even though I didn’t actually get to meet or see Keiko, I DID feel close to her. （´・｀ ）♡ So many wonderful experiences in such a short little time! Absolute PERFECTION.

❗ Some tips ❗

A reservation HAS to be made in advance! You can do it online!

In your reservation you should mention that you are a Kalafina fan (just so both Keiko and Megumi get the option to change their appointments if they want to - in case Keiko’s appointment aligns with yours)

Be reserved and respectful, DO NOT PRY for information! If information is shared willingly with you that’s totally fine but don’t be the one to initiate anything. Don’t be that creepy stalker fan 

All right, that’s it for Part 1...Thanks to everyone who made it to the very end of this post!! (*＾▽＾)／ I know it was a lot. In Part 2 I will talk about my Hikaru Pilgrimage in Toyama.

[mimik-u]

Flower Child (Chapter 2)

Summary:

Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, Greg, Yellow, and Blue—they've all lost someone. Lovers and daughters and friends and family, and that's not a wound you easily come back from.

If at all.

But this isn't an 'if at all' kind of story.

It's a story about a sickly, little kid named Steven and his ever-growing surrogate family. Human AU.

A/N:

Happy Stevenbomb Week, guys! Here's to hoping we all survive it because, oh, my God, it looks intense.

P.S. Thank you for the love you've shown to this fic so far! It's meant a lot to me. c:

P.S.P.S. At the bottom of this chapter, I've included a quick sketch of human Blue. She's... frazzled 'n sad. Someone give her a hug.

AO3 Link

Trying to keep his dying son from bothering a crying, old lady in a bathrobe had absolutely not been on Greg Universe’s to-do list today… but here he was anyway, a torn witness to his kid extending his nearly deadened arm towards a woman who sure looked like she needed it. The little flower from Rose’s bouquet passed between their hands, and a tentative smile drew itself across the woman’s wrinkled mouth, and there was something stiff and sad in that very smile that suggested it was not a regular habit for her.

That Steven, in all of three minutes, had drawn it out of her.

Because of course he had.

He was Steven, and every person he met was a friend he just hadn’t gotten to know quite yet.

All of Greg’s protestations died in his throat, and he could not help but lean back and consider—not for the first time and certainly not for the last—how lucky he was to be this beautiful boy’s dad.

His fourteen-year-old was dying, and he didn’t hold that against the world in the way any other sane person probably would have. Heck, if Greg was dying (and he didn’t have the responsibility of raising a child), he’d be on the next plane to the Bahamas, ready to achieve Nirvana by listening to Nirvana as he danced topless in the moonlight with the locals.

Steven was dying, and all he thought to do was give.

Where was the logic in that?

The reason?

How could he be so wise, so patient and understanding and good to be so young?

It didn’t make sense to Greg, and because it didn’t make sense, he was all the more amazed to watch his kid at work, charming this older lady who told them—in a quiet voice that lilted lyrically in a soft Irish accent—that her name was Blue.

“Blue,” Steven mused, tilting his head thoughtfully. He was sitting with her on the steps now, an adjustment Greg noticed with no small relief. Neither he nor the others had been able to get him to rest all day long. It was a special occasion, by golly, and all he wanted to do was go. “I like that. It’s a very pretty name.”

She smiled again; it was a strange, little gesture caught between parentheses, and it almost looked young in a face that was otherwise very old. 

Two smiles in five minutes.

Stu-ball was on a roll.

“You said you were visiting your mother?” Blue prodded tentatively, and her expression sobered once more, like a stretched rubber band recoiling into its natural state. She had a tall face and big, half-moon eyes, and so the sadness in them was undisguised, as though her entire physiognomy was intent on communicating the uncommunicable inside of her. 

“Yeah, today was her birthday!” Steven started out strong, but at the end, his gaze flitted downwards and his voice relieved itself of its excitement. A drain unplugged. “Her grave is just a little ways down from here. That’s when I saw you.”

“And nearly scared us half to death when you ran away,” Greg muttered under his breath, leveling a playful eyebrow at his son, and his son, ever the good sport, parried back with an abashed grin.

“Ahhhh… yeah, sorry about that, Dad.”

Pearl had been monologuing about Rose—grand, sweeping gestures, occasional glares at Greg, and all—when they had noticed that Steven was slipping away, slipping towards a pink gazebo where a figure clothed in blue was collapsed at its entrance.

Greg had followed and the others had stayed because they all thought this was a Rose thing, or a kidney thing, or a I-just-can’t-listen-to-Pearl-any-longer thing, but they had underestimated him.

At the very least, they didn’t come close to estimating that extraordinary heart of his.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Blue murmured heavily. “You’re so young to be without a mother.”

“Thank you… and I’m sorry for your loss,” Steven replied, looking behind him into the gazebo. He moved his weak arm backwards to trace his fingers along the edges of the grave, drawing Blue’s steady, questioning gaze. Greg intuited that she was curious about the bruised limb but was ultimately too polite to ask, which was a nice change of pace from constantly being harangued by strangers who thought his child was being bullied.

“You’re older,” he continued, and his too-old-to-be-so-young gaze shifted, his dark eyes boring intently into hers, “but that shouldn’t make losing someone you love any less hard.”

The effect was immediate.

It was almost as though the air was sucked out of nature, as though time had stopped in the middle of life.

Blue froze, all but an ice statue if it weren’t for her half-moon eyes slowly widening as she comprehended the words Steven had just spoken to her with an easiness that could have only come from a child.

He was fourteen, and he didn’t know any better—knew that he’d say something nice but didn’t know the power of his own statement.

How it was a sentiment that every adult wanted to hear but rarely had the chance to, because adults were supposed to be infallible.

Adults had responsibilities.

Pick up what pieces you can, and then move on. You have better things to do.

He breached something with those words.

A longheld taboo.

A grieving heart.

He opened a floodgate.

And one tear and then another and another streamed down Blue’s long face.

Because it was exactly what she needed.

Greg turned away quickly so Steven wouldn’t see him wipe at his eyes, wouldn’t see the snot threatening to dribble down his nose.

Because even though it’d been fourteen years since Rose died, he needed the reminder, too.

“When’d you get so wise, champ?” Greg eventually got out, his voice a hundred emotions thick. He sniffed once, flashed a watery grin that wobbled at the edges, and threw pretense out of the window. He was crying; there wasn’t any shame in that.

“I guess I get it from you,” Steven shrugged, clearly embarrassed. “And Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl.”

But no—no he hadn’t.

Greg and his three surrogate moms could teach him a lot of things about this world and what it meant to live in it, but goodness? Innate and true?

That wasn’t something that could come prepackaged.

“Thank you, Steven,” Blue whispered, and she placed her tall hand atop of his. Her touch was light, gentle, careful—a mother’s touch if Greg knew any better. Steven’s bruised veins stood out next to her pale skin. “I’ve wanted to hear those words for a very long time now.”

“Your hand is cold,” Steven remarked in return, but when the older lady moved to withdraw it, he shook his head with a laugh, wriggling his thumb from under her palm and onto the edge of her hand to stay her touch. “But that’s okay. That just means you have a warm heart.”

Another smile, a wide one that lifted the corners of Blue’s melancholy eyes.

And somehow, it was this one that made Greg realize that their family was about to expand once more.

Which was hilarious because they had all agreed to stop after Peridot.

Well, Peridot had agreed that they should stop after Peridot.

After a few more minutes of talking and collecting themselves and finding a tentative kind of peace under the bright June sun, Greg told Steven that he should probably bring the Gems over. Pearl was nearly beside herself with curiosity; even from a distance, he could see that her hand was balanced over her eyes in an attempt to spy on them more efficiently. Amethyst was obviously making fun of Pearl, and Garnet was just unabashedly staring at them impassively from under the cool shade of her sunglasses. (Whether she would dropkick Blue or invite her dinner was to be determined.)

Steven walked off in their direction, his short arms swinging at his sides, and Greg watched long enough to see Pearl wrap him into a lanky hug.

But then he turned back to Blue because he knew what was waiting for him there—a question. It had been perched on her lips ever since Steven had first extended the little flower to her, and now, alone with Greg, it took wings and flew.

“His arm… what happened to it?” 

“That’d be…” he started immediately and then stopped just as quickly, because even though he’d been fielding this question for months upon months now, it never got any easier to swallow. He tilted his head skywards and tried to dissipate the searing pain seizing through his chest and his throat and his eyes, but these aches wouldn’t go away either. “That’d be all the IVs—oh, and the growth hormone injections.”

He tried to laugh, but the sound was strangled in his mouth.

“Can’t forget those.”

But he was stalling, and he didn’t have the time to be doing so. Steven would be back any minute, and even though he tried to hide it, tried to push down his emotions for the sake of everyone else in the room, his son hated this talk, hated being known for his disease or even as a disease. Some people grasped it better than others.

“He’s in the end stages of renal failure,” Greg said hoarsely. “Dialysis three to four times a week, and he’s been on the transplant waiting list for almost eight months now.”

His arm was just a byproduct of everything else that was screwed up with his little body, and it was one of the few things Steven couldn’t tuck away on the inside.

The older lady in the bathrobe bowed her head, her messy braid falling across her shoulder, and the beginnings of tears falling onto her lap. One hand gently cradled the pink blossom his son had given her, and the other reached backwards into the gazebo, trembling fingers feeling for something… maybe even someone… Greg could not see.

“Do you…” she faltered, and he had to strain to hear her voice. He drew closer without even realizing he was doing it, compelled into the atmosphere of grief she so consumptively embodied. His heart wrenched to look at her. It was stupid and absurd, but he felt as though he was looking into a mirror of his own despair—what it truly was and not what it appeared to be. “Do you feel as though he is being wrenched away from you? You were given this precious, little life to love and to cherish, and he’s being taken from you right before your very eyes?”

She was too specific in describing the feeling.

The aching hole in his chest.

The fear that was trying to fill it.

He knew without even knowing that the dead person in the gazebo was Blue’s own child.

“All the time,” he whispered. “And it’s so hard sometimes, you know, dealing with that feeling.”

But Blue shook her head and looked up at him; even though her eyes were still glazed with tears, they had acquired a steely edge to them that cut.

“It’s hard all the time.”

And he could do nothing but accept the truth of her statement.

He brought the bottom of his t-shirt to his face and tried to wipe away the carnage, but when most of it was on the inside, there wasn’t really anything he could do.

“I didn’t get your name,” Blue murmured after a long moment of silence. 

A sudden change of conversation, but he didn’t have to struggle too hard to figure out why. Steven and the Gems were approaching. He heard their footsteps crunching through the grass. 

“Greg Universe,” he offered with a semblance of a smile, and he moved a little to the right so he could block her body from view as she dried her own tears. “Nice to meet ya.”

“I’m Blue Dia—” But she was cut short by a voice that was louder than its speaker thought it to be.

“Why is homegirl wearing a bathrobe? It’s, like, the middle of the day.”

“Hush, Amethyst,” Pearl hissed, all exasperation and huff. “Don’t be so rude. You’re wearing jeans with holes in them.”

“It’s a fashion statement, P!”

“It’s a wasteful use of fabric!”

“Well, aren’t you a buzz—”

“We’re back!” Steven yelled, his voice thankfully triumphing over their bickering. Greg turned to greet them and found everything as it should be between the little quartet: Garnet holding Steven’s hand, and Pearl and Amethyst at each other’s throats. (They all loved each other.)

“Blue, these are old friends of Steven’s mom,” he quickly explained because the older lady seemed bewildered, and even a little overwhelmed, by this sudden influx of people. He had a sneaking suspicion that she didn’t, well, get out all too often if the bathrobe was anything to judge by. “They’ve helped me raise him.”

“Aw, to be fair,” Garnet said amiably, tipping her shades in greeting, “Steven has raised us just as much. I’m Garnet. Pleasure.” 

Amethyst took a long enough break from poking an increasingly annoyed Pearl to introduce herself.

“Yo, I’m Amethyst.”

“And I’m Pearl,” Pearl indicated with a sweet (if dramatic) curtsy. “Thank you for humoring our little Steven.”

“Oh… it wasn’t any trouble.” Blue looked up at Steven warmly. “Steven is a special boy.”

“Shucks,” Steven grinned. “You’ve only known me for what? Like, fifteen minutes?”

“Ah, but it’s been more than enough time for me to ascertain that I was very lucky to have been found by you.”

“Finders keepers!”

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind that,” she hummed playfully before deferring to Greg. “I live in Empire City, and if you live close by, I would love for Steven to visit sometime… if that’s okay with you. At any rate, I’d like to keep in touch.”

“Well, I’d like that,” Steven supplied cheerfully, and it was so darn cute; he looked like a little cherub with his cheeks puffed up in a smile.

“That’d be fine with me,” Greg chuckled. “You two should exchange numbers.”

Steven nodded in approval and pulled out his phone, fingers poised above the keyboard, mouth already open to ask for Blue’s number, but Greg cut in one last time, affecting a casual tone that wasn’t quite casual.

“Empire City’d be really good for us, too” he told her, but he was staring at Steven, wanting to gauge his reaction. “That’s where Steven has to do his treatments.”

And maybe it was a little underhanded, but Steven had to know that Blue knew.

That there was no point in hiding his condition.

Because he’d tried that a couple of times, and it always ended badly for him, always ended in him getting hurt by someone who couldn’t understand.

A slight frown tugged at Steven’s lips, and he could feel Pearl’s irritated glare drilling at him from his side.

She was a firm installation in Camp-Hide-All-Of-Your-Feelings-Away, too, but that hadn’t worked out well for her either.

“Name and number, Blue,” Steven said, a fraction less perky than he had been before, but he recovered quickly because of course he did. He was Steven. He put on a good show and a smile.

Pearl was gonna give him hell tonight, but Greg could give it right back.

It wasn’t healthy for Steven to keep everything locked away inside, and that was the call he made as a father.

Blue enunciated her number slowly and added her name as an afterthought.

“My last name is Diamond. Blue Diamond.”

 And it was name that sent shivers down his spine.

Oh, God, Greg thought.

In the periphery of his vision, he met the Gems’ equally stunned faces. Garnet’s hands were clenched into fists. Pearl’s were splayed indelicately o

[homogrimoire-archive]

The Remnant Branches

CH. 2 - Vile Toxic Intent

Part 1: Wanna Start A Massacre?

Tyrian arrives in a place known as The Aerie. He meets a like-minded individual, and begins his journey to appease his Queen across worlds.

AO3 Link

Tyrian woke up, seeing nothing but a cliff in the distance. As he got up, he noticed that he was at the edge of a cliff, which brought a chuckle out of him. One feels most alive when closest to death. Looking around, there were no noticeable features, nothing that would help him in his search. He knew that he should be near some inhabited structure, so he looked over the cliff’s edge.

“Biiiiinnnggoooooo!” he exclaimed when he saw structures built into the cliff faces. Began to run along the cliff’s edge towards the settlement. He hoped they wouldn’t cooperate with him. People who easily cooperated were never any fun to him. Once he was above a platform, he jumped off the cliff’s edge and dug his weapon into the cliffside as he fell down. He landed with a solid thump on the walkway.

The place was windy and cold, and very drab. If the place didn’t look so neat, he would think it was abandoned. Faint whispers almost masked by the wind told him this place definitely had life. He walked over to a nearby house, making sure every one of his footsteps was heard. He had a feeling the people here would be more terrified of a lack of silence. He knocked, one, two, on the door.

“Who’s there? What do you want?” the quivering voice asked.

“Oh, I am but a siiiimple traveler, looking to expand his knowledge of the magics. Would you happen to know where I would be able to do that?” Tyrian  questioned as he leaned in closer towards the door.

“Umm, I- I don’t know man. I hardly ever l-leav-ve my home.”

“Oh that’s a shame. A reeeal shame. How about,” he started as he began to tap the end of his stinger against the door, “we take a little walk. Together. I can show you all sorts of things the world has to offer. Soo many things.” Tyrian could practically feel the man trembling through the door. What he wouldn’t give to see the stranger’s face.

“No! N-no. I’m alright. Maybe ask- ask our chief. He lives in the highest building. He- he might know something.” Tyrian removed his stinger from the door, ending the tapping, and thanked the person. Looking around, he easily found the building. Getting to it would be another matter. The place was a maze of walkways, platforms, and bridges. He realized that this place is what was referred to as The Aerie. A town full of cowardly recluses. Tyrian imagined how he could tear this place to shreds, but knew he had orders to fulfill first.

Instead of trying to navigate the place, he made his way to a walkway directly beneath the chief’s house, and began to scale the cliff face by digging his weapons into the rock. It took more time than he liked, but knew the alternative would have taken more time. Besides he could imagine the man quaking as he heard something unknown climbing the cliff towards his house. With a flip, he landed onto the walkway. With loud footsteps, he walked  towards the door, and knocked, one, two, three.

“Go away! You’re not wanted here!” the voice yelled.

“Now, is that any way to treat a weary traveler?” he asked, feigning innocence.

“Yes. Now go away!”

“But I’m soo tired.” Won't you at least let me rest here? I can show you my wonderful weapons as payment. They slice through my enemies so  beautifully. Or maybe, perhaps, you can tell me about magic. Hearing about it would put my soul at such ease.”

“Go visit that monster in the mines at the entrance. You’ll get what you want there. Begone with you now!”

“Thank you! I’ll be sure to repay your kindness.” He replied with a malicious smile. Now where the fuck is the entrance at? … There! Not too far away was the entrance to What looked to be a cave. From a higher vantage, he could see the path he would have to take. Salem’s reports had no mention of a girl living there. He figured that time had passed since.  As he walked with heavy footsteps, he thought about how the place is perfect for a massacre. The dull surroundings stained with bright red blood would be a beautiful sight.

Years later, some traveler would wander in to find the place full of death, only able to wonder what transpired, and what sort of monster could do such a thing. It brought a smile to his face. Once he reached the cave, he kept on the lookout for the monster. He imagined some hulking, shadowy beast with magic emanating from it. To his left, he saw an opening. In it, sunlight entered, feeding a layer of grass. There is also a small hut with a lone woman resting in the light.

“Rise and shine, Sunshine.” Tyrian whispered in her ear in attempts to scare her awake

“Shut up Tyrann. Can’t you see I’m trying to fucking sleep.” she said groggily turning in her bed. Wasn’t me. You’ve gotta visitor Sunshine. Kaine was all too awake now, and all too aware of the all too familiar, but distinctly separate presence nearby. Quickly, she turned in her bed to bring down a slash of her sword. It was swiftly dodged with maniacal laughter.

“Is that any way to treat a guest, Sunshine? And the name’s Tyrian. Not Tyrann.” he said, balancing on his tail.

“I don’t give a shit. Now get lost or I’ll take your tail, cut it into a million pieces and shove it down your throat.”  she shouted, unleashing an intimidating wave of magic. That’s it Sunshine! There’s the hate I like to see! Show this bitch what happens when you look like the thing that killed your granny! Remember that hate!

“Perfect .” Tyrian said deviously as he unsheathed his weapons. He rushed towards her, firing as he ran. However, the bullets were all blocked by a magical barrier. When he was open, she unleashed a wave of energy that he barely dodged. Now they were in close quarters. She was quick, but Tyrian was quicker, though just barely. It was a thrill! Their weapons clashed, grinding against each other.

“Once I’m done with you, I’ll destroy that little village over there! Every single one of them will scream in agony as I rip them to shreds piece by piece!”

“They can rot in hell for all I care. And you can too shit hole!” With immense power, she sent him flying back, knocking him against a wall and causing him to fall to the ground on his stomach. Before he could even react, she rushed towards him. She stabbed one hand with her right sword and pinned the other down with a foot, causing Tyrian to curse in pain. She removed the sword and stomped on the wounded hand, inciting even more yelps of pain. Tyrian tied to attack with his tail, but it was caught with a single hand.

“I heard you like the sounds of screaming. Well I hope you like your screams too!” she brought down her left sword to cut the tail off, but was stopped just before it could connect. Change of plans Sunshine. This hate is nice and all, but. I'm gonna go have some REAL fun. “HEY! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF-”

Darkness swirled around her, and Tyrian could feel the pressure being lifted off his hands. The dark mist moved to the center of the clearing. It began to solidify, and Tyrian could make out the shape of the woman. From the ground, it rose up revealing a shade in Kaine’s form. Tyrian picked himself up as it walked to him. It held out a hand, to which Tyrian refused. It rolled its head, and pointed to the wounded hand. He didn’t have any other choice really, so he held out his hand to the thing. He felt a wave of energy pass through him, sending shivers through him. When he pulled his hand back, it was miraculously healed.

“So, you’re Tyrann?” he asked, still wary.

“Of course I am! And you must be Tyrian.” spoke a voice sharp and rough like glass scrubbed with tough sandpaper. “Tyrann and Tyrian… I think we're gonna do great things together.” Tyrann would have been smiling wickedly if he could. Tyrian recognized that tone. It was then that Tyrian knew he was in the presence of a kindred spirit.

“How about we start with a little massacre? I’ve been dying to end that village the moment I saw it.”

“Now you’re speaking my language! Hey, lets spare a few so they can live to tell the tale! Imagine how much fear will be passed down from generation to generation! Imagine how much hate will be born!” Tyrann could feel the energy within him about to burst. This was the most excited he had been in a long time.

“You’re right, my friend! We are going to do great things together!”

“That day, their maniacal laughter and the screams of family and neighbors was the last thing many people heard. The last things many of them saw are best not described. Though if  you want that description, please refer to the Gestalt timeline, branch REMNANT, sub-branch TYR. Hmm. I’ll be sure to keep a close eye on this sub-branch. The threat of The Flower is miniscule in the Gestalt-Replicant Timelines, but still present. And with a Remnant interloper like this, who knows what the chances really are. Further reports will be incoming shortly. Accord signing off.”

-

“Hmph. Another massacre. Y’know, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen people from different universes get along, but these two… These two get along too well. With their sadistic tendencies, that isn’t a good thing. They only fuel each other’s love for killing. I know our primary function is to record, but there are times when we have to intervene. This may be one of them.”

-

“Ahhhh. That was the most fun I had since yesterday.” Tyrann let out as they walked, clothes drenched in blood. He and Tyrian had just run into a group of shades hiding in an abandoned building. He learned a lot from that slaughter, and knew his queen would be pleasantly pleased at the knowledge he gained. Tyrann found shade’s screams to be delightful. He particularly loved how they pleaded to be spared. He was so grateful he could understand them, and found that killing with a like-minded friend to be such fun. He thanked his goddess that she had given him such a joyous opportunity.

“And unI alfortunately, it’ll be a while before we get to kill anymore of them. Aren’t many shades where we’re going.” Tyrann sighed sadly. “Only just some old machines.”

“Bummer.” Tyrian replied, sharing the other murderer’s lack of enthusiasm. “Where are we going anyways?”

“Some place where you can find the information your queen wants, and where I can see about making a replicant for me.”

“Replicant? Tell me more.”

“Eh.” Tyrann said with a shrug. “I guess I can give you a basic rundown of it all.”

-

“I’ve been running the schematics, and there is a high chance one of them will die at the facility. Machines, androids, betrayal, stray meteor, uhh, what else… oh, yeah, or tripping and falling down a flight of stairs. Personally, my money is on betrayal, but who knows. However, if it comes to that, intervention will be necessary in the event that Tyrann’s death is the outcome. If he dies, so does Kainé, and she is too important to these timelines to die so soon.”

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/19 NXT 10/21 NXT UK 10/22 Smackdown 10/23 Hell in a Cell 10/25

Raw:

I’m here to give Alexa credit once more for making me give a shit about the Fiend. I do like his entrance, especially without a live crowd.

What a visual... them standing together hand in hand.

I love that they kept the monitors set on the graphics for this segment. No offense to the audience, but seeing them would’ve ruined this.

Amazing transition from Fiend and Alexa to the next segment/match. Major points.

Still a vicious elimination to Lacey by Natalya.

I intend to take this title match as seriously as wwe has - not within a football field of giving a shit. I know how this entire angle ends anyway (preemptive welcome back, Queen) but let’s watch it through. See how this face turn worked out for Lana.

Asuka really is insanely fast, I’ll give her that.

Great rollup attempt by Lana (shades of Nattie/Alexa), great counter by Asuka into the Asuka Lock, and great job to Lana for grabbing the ropes. Points.

I’m sure this is all rehearsed, but Lana obviously puts in the work. Do I think she’ll ever be a singles champion? Absolutely not, but at least she isn’t complacent.

Is it the tables? Is that what led to Lana turning face?

This was good for Asuka. This was good booking. She didn’t look like a chump giving Lana offense, and she looked both strong and smart post-match. Solid.

By that logic, ShaNia owns NXT’s division as well. Just saying.

Really wish they’d nix the “Mandy” intro.

Stop I never wanna hear Peyton’s theme again, plz.

So they really never did explain why Peyton and Lacey became a thing? Mk. They seem like genuine friends, it’s just too bad they aren’t a compelling tag team in the ring. Would much rather watch Sexy Muscle Friends, ngl.

Hi I like Riott Squad and have no problems with them theoretically being in this match, but why the fuck are they still here lmao. Go to SD.

This better get longer than 10 mins, there are way too many women here for y’all to rob them of time.

It’s nice to see more women give a shit about tag team wrestling/becoming a cohesive unit.

Lacey just cuz you can do a moonsault off the apron, doesn’t mean you should. That was dicey. Fine, but dicey. There’s a reason Charlotte goes up to the top turnbuckle when she does it to the outside (not that I’m suggesting that incredibly high risk spot but I’m js)

Wish Lacey wasn’t so wooden. Wish she was more trusting and flexible like Charlotte.

I’d bet anything Mandy and Dana actually could suplex Nia. Let them try.

Good break up by Shayna. Protect Dana and Mandy’s finisher. Also that was a WICKED knee strike by Mandy.

Everyone’s gonna get a move in now huh. Le sigh.

NICE interrupt again by Shayna, girl with the good timing.

Fair ending. How long was that? 5 mins to the second lmao. Mk, wwe. Mk.

Welp Alexa is officially on Firefly funhouse. Good. Now we get to blur some lines and have a bit more fun with her character.

Highlight: Asuka looking like a dominant champ without squashing Lana

---

NXT:

Rhea Ripley #1 in nxt, these are the facts. She’s literally gone through them all. Throw her up to the MR, lesgo.

Watching her handle Charlotte and Piper is so impressive. Beast.

“Gone against Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler,” so got squashed by Bianca and Shayna lmao. Hey, everyone’s got a role I guess. I remember when Alexa was enhancement talent that did a 450 splash and blew glitter all over the stage.

I don’t understand how Ember was wiped out after doing a mere roll off the ropes. It seems like a work since Jessi didn’t react and continued on as if she scored some offense (she didn’t) but that was a nasty landing on Ember’s lower back. Weird.

One count off an uppercut bahahaha

“You done messed up now,” Ember exclaims, after flipping off a fucking snapmare. I liked her better when she had no personality and just wrestled amazingly.

Is Ember a heel now? She’s acting like a heel. Why is she doing submissions? Why is she talking so much trash? Why is she so arrogant? Not a fan.

A springboard back elbow drop? Intriguing, Jessi. Intriguing. Points.

Jessi was too quick for Ember’s (now slow) setup into her codebreaker out of the corner. I’m gonna watch Charlotte vs Ember from 2019 after this, Ember was a lot quicker and cleaner - also cuz I miss Charlotte.

Yeahhh Ember used Jessi’s hair to pull her head back so she could do a crossface. She’s either a garbage babyface, or a heel.

Welp Dakota just turned babyface. Jeeze she be looking fine too. 10 points.

Dakota should be mad. She bumps like a motherfucker for every person she faces, and she made Ember’s botchy moves look amazing. Sucks she had such a stinker against Io, but there’s no way Ember should be rated higher than Dakota rn.

Interesting to note that Dakota came out on her own, as opposed to bringing - or even sending - Raquel.

Why does Xia have to win? Is there a kf contract that’s riding on her victory? Why is a random ass match against Kacy the biggest match of her career lol

Also this interviewer is gorgeous. Eyebrows on fleek, beautiful eyes and flawless hair.

*The Garganos prepare to Spin the Wheel* No.

Love Kacy’s speed. Always a joy to watch in the midcard.

Oh holy shit Kacy won, I did not see that coming. Where we going with this Xia stuff?

Xia gonna single handedly wreck both Kacy and Kayden?

WHY IS RAQUEL OUT HERE? What the fuck did Kacy and Kayden do to Raquel lmaooo

Commentator said Raquel sees Rhea Ripley in everyone she looks at. I say that’s the weakest explanation ever. Y’all just trying to find any reason to give her screen time, and this ain’t it.

“She’s sending a message to Ripley,” RHEA DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THESE BITCHES. Also she’s like 3x the size of all of them lmao what?

“And next week? At Halloween? Havoc?” Girl stay backstage with your promos.

I don’t know wtf the wheel is, but I absolutely loved that segment with Io.

She’s such a special attraction to me. I miss her when she’s not on, and she’s so under saturated that I never get tired of seeing her. 

Highlight: Segment with Io

---

NXT UK:

Man I really like Nina’s theme song.

After seeing last week’s fucking wrist lock marathon, this aggression is such a breath of fresh air. Not really much of a match, as it a brawl... but that’s perfectly fine lol.

Ahh Nina’s a runner? Interesting, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

Not a fan of Amale’s boots with her gear. Pressing stuff, I know.

Lol thought Nina was about to do a dis-arm-her. Man, I miss Becky.

Nina is a bit awkward with her transitions, I’m noticing.

Beautiful landing of the back body drop by Nina. Practically a swan dive.

Amale did such a lackadaisical pin attempt, and then could barely muster the strength to kick out of one. Ma’am isn’t the worst, but with as green as she is, she should be limited to 3 min sprints.

Seems to be a popular complaint I have with UK, they get gassed insanely easy. wwe needs to build a pc over there or something.

Final Act is a really weak finisher, but considering the speed, I will give points for the way Nina holds her opponent’s neck forward. We like to see performers protecting their partners from getting whiplash.

Love Nina’s voice. Love her whole shtick tbh.

She wants Piper? *sigh* okay. Should’ve just done a tournament to determine KLR’s next opponent, but whatever.

Highlight: Nina’s backstage interview

---

Smackdown:

lmfao Bianca’s reaction to being slapped. Ahhhh she’s funny.

Jeeze fucking tossed Zelina across the ring.

oof that speed by Bianca after flipping out of the hurricanrana. Whew.

Bianca straight threw Zelina into the air just to punch her in the throat lmao.

So this match was literally just “watch [Bianca] shine now” aye rep those lyrics, girl.

Confession: sometimes I fangirl over Bayley’s demeanor. She got BDE and you know what? Good for her, good for her.

Points for the chair, Bayley.

“[Sasha is] an ungrateful brat” you know... kind of accurate.

Tbf Bayley, Sasha’s name kind of is bigger than your title, cuz she’s kept herself as an A+ superstar for like 4 years without holding gold. That deserves respect and recognition. That’s a woman keeping solely her name relevant without even being champion. Now in all fairness, I think all 4 of the horsewomen are up to that standing now, but let’s give credit where it’s due.

Sasha deserves to be champion in a meta sense, this is a fact, but man her character is so unlikeable. Like Bayley is a coward and an absolute tool but she still comes off as more genuine. A face turn for Bayley will be so easy. Not asking y’all to rush it wwe, but I’m just saying.

“Just give me the title back and we’ll talk about it,” Bayley says, as if she won’t grab that shit and bolt out of the arena.

Oh that was such a good set up to the spot with Bayley caught upright in the chair. I saw that screenshot months ago, but watching it be set up makes it so much better.

Ma’am I feel like being physically forced and coerced into signing a contract automatically makes it null and void, but hey this is your universe, what do I know.

Vicious - Bayley falling over with a fucking chair wrapped around her neck. Whew what a bump.

“Go help her Cole” LMFAO legit the last person in the company that would come to Bayley’s aid. Good line, Corey. That was a great promo and segment. Mega points.

Highlight: Go home segment for Bayley & Sasha

---

Hell in a Cell:

Kind of a weak video package for this feud, ngl. They didn’t bother with the Raw women’s championship, didn’t bother with 2019, Raw 2016/2017, nxt... Closest we got were a couple 2 second clips/screenshots.

By definition, this feud has to be one of the biggest disappointments in recent memory. It had the potential to blow Becky/Charlotte out of the water, and didn’t even enter the same stratosphere. Shame. This is a perfectly fine feud in a vacuum... until you remember it’s fucking Sasha and Bayley. Okay I’ll stop beating a dead horse. 

If Sasha were a real babyface, she’d drop that awful Snoop remix.

Sasha looks amazing. Love the contrast of Sasha wearing white and Bayley wearing black. Gonna miss Bayley’s old gear though.

Love Bayley spray painting 1-0 on the chair, since we all obsessed over Sasha’s shitty record ahead of this match lmao.

This feud just never picked up that mountain of tension Becky and Charlotte had at Evolution I’M SORRY.

Why can’t everyone do a headscissors takedown as fast as Sasha can.

Such an innovative way of utilizing a table and the cell to deliver a meteora. POINTS FOR SASHA *applause*

So I like the concept of Sasha rolling under the table and pushing it up into Bayley, but the landing of the table near Sasha’s head made me uneasy. I like the concept of Sasha rotating her body on the apron before jumping straight into a meteora against the cell, but the way she landed against the LED was awkward. The ideas are there though.

Cool watching Sasha jump from the apron to scale the cell, then back to the apron, then jumping over Bayley onto the floor. She’s like a rabbit. I’m underselling this tbh, like 95% of the women in the company can’t do the things Sasha can do.

OOF at Bayley being dropkicked into the steps. What a landing.

At this point, I don’t even want to see a women’s hiac match unless Sasha’s in it, or at the very least has a hand in producing it. Ugh she’d be an amazing match producer, whew.

Ugly landing through the kendo stick onto the steps by Sasha. That’s a spot that would’ve received an audible gasp from a live crowd.

OOF a sunset flip powerbomb into the fucking cell. oof. rip Bayley.

OOF a sunset flip into the fucking chair. oof. rip Sasha.

Positive on Bayley’s botched kendo stick/tape spot: lends credence to how inexperienced Bayley is with handling weapons in kf, and Bayley did a great job vocally improvising - probably earned herself points backstage. A negative: what a disaster of a spot lmfao. Should’ve had it already created and ready to go beneath the ring, or used a broomstick/crutch for the spot instead. Having people handle tape mid match is stupid. Wasn’t Bayley’s fault, but the crowd would’ve shit all over that lesbireal.

If you’re a specified Sasha fan, you’ll probably deem this the greatest match of Sasha’s career, cuz my god did she look amazing in it (and she actually won) but if you’re not, I’ll tell you, they did not do a good job making Bayley shine at the end of her historic reign imo.

Sasha bout to have a breakdown. Good acting.

This match lacks cohesion. Very spotty, but most of the spots are fucking incredible, so it gets a pass.

I like the ladder on the chairs.

Sasha jumping off the set up ladder to do a meteora in the corner was nice. Sasha using a fucking Bayley to Belly onto the ladder was beautiful.

Sasha looking like she wants to cry. Man she’s amazing.

BEAUTIFUL counter out of the Bayley to Belly by Sasha; dropped Bayley into the chair to set up her Bank Statement inside the chair.

Mega points for that single chair being the center of their entire feud, as the rivalry began and ended with that chair. Bravo there.

That’s it, Bayley’s reign is finally over. This match’s review was hella long, but deservedly so. Extremely happy for Sasha. Took her 4 years on the MR giving people banger after banger before wwe trusted her with a legitimate title reign, but we’ve finally made it.

Highlight(s): Both sunset flips by Bayley & Sasha against the chair & cell, respectively

---

*hiac blew everything else out of the water by default thanks to Bayley vs Sasha, but both Raw & SD were very enjoyable to me this week as well.

[stawscweam]

The Ultimate Stand Bang List-REDONE

Here’s the complete list of Stands I would and would not bang. I used the wiki, so the list is divided in the 6 parts that have Stands. Enjoy. And stop fucking asking me who I’ll bang damn it. EDIT: Nope. Now I will bang every Stand. No exceptions. Don’t care.

EDIT EDIT: fdsalkfjsalf i deleted Standalous, so this post was lost. But never fear, I am here with the repost! I’ll add any new Stands in Jojolion when I get caught up (WHENEVER THAT WILL BE UGH SO MUCH TO DO)

Honorary Stand

KRISTOFFS-BIZARRE-ADVENTURE

Pros: Hilarious, sweet, and has a hot bod B)

Bang?: YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I WOULD, WOULD BANG

Stardust Crusaders:

Star Platinum          

Pros: Hot, strong, precise, he might actually “ORAORAORA” during the do, wouldn’t that be great?

Bang?: Would bang

Hermit Purple

Pros: Bondage

Cons: Thorns

Bang?: I mean, I don’t think you can bang vines but you can use them during the act sooooo? Yeah would bang?

Magician’s Red

Pros: Hot (Like no he’s actually hot, he’s a fire chicken c’mon very warm), strong

Cons: Beak face (can’t kiss), feathers, probably get burned I don’t know

Bang?: Ye, would bang

Hierophant Green

Pros: Tentacles, bondage

Cons: Tentacles, no proper mouth so can’t kiss

Bang?: Yeah would bang

Silver Chariot

Pros: Quick and precise

Cons: He’s probably really cold unless he takes his armor off but still

Bang?: Yeah would bang he’s such a cutie

The Fool

Cons: Sand

Bang?: Would bang

Tower of Gray

Cons: It’s a beetle

Bang?: Fuck no would not bang do you want to bang a beetle I don’t fucking think so, next EDIT: NOPE. WOULD BANG A BEETLE

Dark Blue Moon      

Cons: Razor scales (like ouch?), barnacles (no thank you), no proper mouth, I mean doesn’t he really only work super well in the water so like you’ll probably have to be underwater to do that and just like no EDIT: How about yes!? Underwater sex is kinky as fuck

Bang?: Would bang

Strength

Cons: It’s a fucking ship

Bang?: I’m not banging a fucking ship, would not bang EDIT: I WOULD SO FUCK A SHIP HELL YEAH

Ebony Devil  

Cons: It’s like a puppet doll thing, besides hate sex ain’t my thing EDIT: Now it is

Bang?: Would bang

Yellow Temperance

Cons: It’s like…yellow goop and it eats you basically, I mean you could bang it I guess but like I wouldn’t recommend it?

Bang?: Like no, would not bang EDIT: Like yes, would so bang

Emperor

Pros: I mean, since it can home in on things, but like that’s a bullet homing in inside of you ummmm no?

Cons: It’s a gun

Bang?: I mean you could shove it up your butt, but like personally no, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG, I’M SHOVING A GUN UP MY BUTT AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

Hanged Man

Pros: Yay finally a humanoid-ish Stand!

Cons: But it’s a mummy, and like can it only fuck you through your reflection or what??

Bang?: Would not bang EDIT: MIRROR SEX IS IN. WOULD BANG.

Empress

Cons: How would this even work?, like first you need the blood of the user to fall on you and then the Stand grows but like it’s not a separate entity since it’s trying to absorb you on your body and no. No.

Bang?: Would not bang EDIT: I’LL MAKE IT WORK, WOULD BANG

Wheel of Fortune    

Cons: It’s a fucking car

Bang?: I’m not going to bang a fucking car, would not bang EDIT: NOPE. GONNA BANG A CAR, GOODBYE

Justice

Pros: Humanoid-ish Stand again!

Cons: Too bad it’s a skeleton, a fog skeleton

Bang?: I’ll pass, would not bang, but it’s a very attractive skeleton (don’t ask me how this is possible) EDIT: I WOULD BANG A FOG SKELETON, DON’T CARE

Lovers

Cons: It’s a fucking robot mosquito

Bang?: I’m not banging a fucking robot mosquito, would not bang bye EDIT: HELLO, ROBOT MOSQUITOS ARE HOT, WOULD BANG, NO QUESTIONS

Sun    

Cons: JUST FUCK A REPLICA OF THE SUN. JUST DO IT.

Bang?: Would not bang, EDIT: HOTTEST STAND THERE IS, YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I’M BANGING THE SUN B)

Death Thirteen

Bang?: Would not bang, nope let’s continue bye EDIT: CLOWN SHINIGAMI UP IN THIS BITCH!? FUUUUUUUCK YEAH LET’S GOOOOO, WOULD BANG

Judgement

Bang?: Just no, I’m not going to bang a genie type Stand, I’m just not, probably try to kill me during the whole thing nah man, would not bang, HELL 2 U EDIT: NAH WOULD BANG

High Priestess          

Cons: It’s basically a mask with arms and hard as diamond teeth, that’s a big no for me

Bang?: Would not bang EDIT: THAT’S A BIG YES FOR ME, KINKY AS SHIT, WOULD BANG

Geb    

Cons: It’s water?

Bang?: Would not bang, I mean you could maybe I don’t really know but I wouldn’t? EDIT: I’m going to fuck water

Khnum          

Cons: How would this even work? You’ll basically have to bang Oingo and sure he could transform into somebody else or whatever but no

Bang?: Nah, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Tohth

Cons: It’s a fucking book

Bang?: No man, would not bang EDIT: IM FUCKING A BOOK

Anubis          

Pros: Human booooooooodeh!

Cons: Jackal head, welp can’t win em all

Bang?: Would bang, hey at this point I’m desperate

Bastet

Cons: It’s an outlet

Bang?: Would BANG

Sethan

Cons: It’s a shadow and it can quickly de-age you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, how would you even fuck a shadow, how would you go about that?

Bang?: WOULD NOT BANG, I do not recommend this Stand EDIT: FUCK THAT, I RECOMMEND IT. WOULD BANG YEAH

Osiris

Pros: Fairly attractive

Cons: Lower half is basically mist so perhaps no “you know” to “you know” but who knows? Maybe he can materialise a lower half, dunno

Bang?: Would bang, as long as I don’t lose a bet I’m good so fuck it let’s do it

Horus

Bang?: Would bang

Atum  

Pros: Fairly attractive, a lower half (which really just makes me think Osiris can form it, so hell yeah)

Bang?: Would bang

Tenore Sax    

Cons: It just like creates illusions man

Bang?: Would BANG, DON’T KNOW HOW BUT YE

Cream

Pros: Big, hot (for a monster, please lower your standards if you’re even still reading this omg bless your soul)

Bang?: Would bang, hell yeah

The World

PROS: HERE HE FUCKING IS, JFC, BIG, STRONG, HOT AS FUCK, ALL OTHER STANDS SIT DOWN, YOU AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON THE WORLD

Bang?: HE CAN FUCK ME ALL NIGHT LONG, ALL DAY LONG, OH MY GOD YES, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG

Diamond Is Unbreakable:

Crazy Diamond

Pros: Big, strong, hot, he can basically heal you if things get a little too rough I mean what

Bang?: Oh fuck yeah, would bang

The Hand

Pros: Big, strong, fairly attractive for a Stand

Bang?: Would bang

Echoes

Pros: Act 3 would probably be really vocal, so that could be fun

Cons: Act 1 and 2 aren’t all that human-like so

Bang?: Would bang Act 3

Heaven’s Door

Pros: Could probably read how you like it and stuff, he’s cute

Bang?: Would bang

Aqua Necklace

Cons: I mean it has a humanoid figure but it’s still like liquid

Bang?: Would bang

Bad Company

Pros: I’m sure I can find an army of little men useful in some way *wiggles eyebrows*

Cons: They’re little men so you can’t really bang em??

Bang?: Would bang, I can think of uses for them so

Red Hot Chili Pepper

Cons: Pretty fucking ugly, no proper mouth

Bang?: Would not bang, I mean you can but I won’t EDIT: I WILL. WOULD BANG

The Lock

Cons: It’s basically a fucking lock?

Bang?: Um no?, would not bang EDIT: UM YES? WOULD BANG A LOCK

Surface

Pros: Okay but like you could have it mimic yourself, you could literally fuck yourself, you could let it mimic somebody else and unlike Oingo’s, you’ll be fucking the Stand not the user! How great is that!?!?!?!?!?!?

Bang?: HELL YEAH, would bang

Love Deluxe

Cons: Uhh it’s hair

Bang?: I’m not fucking hair, would not bang EDIT: IM FUCKING HAIR, IT’S DONE

Pearl Jam

Pros: Okay but get this what if you’re giving Tonio head and you swallow and he has his Pearl Jam inside his “stuff”, it could like cure you of whatever ailment you have, right? Man I don’t know but think about it, or what if you’re eating out somebody? I mean just think about it, that’s all I’m asking

Cons: They’re like little cute tomato onion things?

Bang?: Would bang, the uses are there just think on it okay

Ratt

Bang?: Would not bang EDIT: STILL WOULD NOT BANG

Harvest

Bang?: Would not bang, man hell no I’m not even going to put thought into this one (Sorry I really don’t like this Stand, I don’t even know why) EDIT: ACTUALLY YEAH I STILL REALLY HATE THIS STAND SO NO, STILL WOULD NOT BANG

Cinderella

Pros: She’s pretty

Cons: But no proper mouth

Bang?: Sure, would bang

Boy II Man

Pros: Kind of attractive I guess

Cons: No proper mouth

Bang?: Would bang

Highway Star

Pros: Mmmmmm hot body, proper mouth!!!, fairly attractive

Bang?: Would bang

Super Fly

Cons: It’s a fucking telephone tower man

Bang?: Man no, would not bang, get outta here EDIT: HELLLLLLLLL YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, FUCKING A TOWER IS EASIER THAN FUCKING A SHIP, GET OUTTA HERE MYSELF, WOULD BANG

Enigma

Pros: Pretty attractive actually, nice body

Cons: No proper mouth

Bang?: I mean yeah why not, would bang

Cheap Trick

Bang?: Fuck off no, would not bang EDIT: FUCK YEAH WOULD BANG

Atom Heart Father

Bang?: EWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOOO, would not bang EDIT: EWWWWWW YEEEEESSSSSS, WOULD BANG

Stray Cat

Bang?: Would not bang, WHO THE FUCK WOULD BANG A PLANT CAT? EDIT: I FUCKING WOULD???? WOULD BANG

Killer Queen

PROS: HERE’S THE MAIN BAE, AHHHH FUCKING YEAH, FUCKING HOT AS SHIT, THIGHS, ABS, MUSCULAR, HE’S A KITTY, BEAUTIFUL EYES, I COULD GO ON

Bang?: OH FUCKING HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER LET’S GO, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG, new meaning to “Sex Bomb” AMIRITE!?

Vento Aureo:

Gold Experience

Pros: He’s a wittle cutie pie and has a nice wittle bod (I don’t know why I’m babying him, I just really love GE), okay but with his powers, I’m pretty sure you would have the best orgasm of your life (hah) if he hits you with his life powers, since your senses are heightened, just think about it alright

Bang?: Hell yeah, would bang

Sticky Fingers

Pros: Hot, nice body, *unzips dick*

Bang?: Oh yeah, would bang

Aerosmith

Cons: It’s a fucking toy airplane

Bang?: I’m fucking a toy airplane, would bang

Moody Blues

Pros: He’s pretty fucking hot to be honest with you guys, probably could relive past bangs with his rebroadcasting ability, I mean I’m just saying

Cons: No proper mouth tho, such a shame

Bang?: Would bang

Sex Pistols

Bang?: WOULD NOT BANG, they’re my precious little babies I could never!!! Nooooooooo!!!!, I mean I can think of some uses for them BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO EDIT: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WOULD BANG

Purple Haze

Pros: Fuuuuuuuuck PH is so fucking attractive all around, probably crazy in bed too mmm

Cons: His mouth is like stitched up but I find that hot too, BUT UHM HIS VIRUS???????, but with PH Distortion I guess this can be avoided since the viruses like eat each other?? But still would be scared to, but it would be worth it in the end (at least for me anyway)

Bang?: Would bang, probably die in the end, but oh man so fucking worth it just look at him

Spice Girl

Pros: She’s so beautiful oh my gooooooooood

Bang?: Please yes, would bang, definitely

Black Sabbath

Pros: He has a mouth and everything I guess

Cons: But he’s not really all that attractive

Bang?: Uhm, I’ll just say no, would not bang EDIT: MMMMMMMM YES WOULD BANG

Soft Machine

Pros: Pretty attractive

Cons: No proper mouth man

Bang?: Yeah, would bang, I wonder how you could use his deflating ability in a kinky way hmm

Kraft Work

Cons: Kind of scary tbh

Bang?: Nah, would not bang EDIT: YAH, WOULD BANG

Little Feet

Cons: Really scary looking

Bang?: No thank you, would not bang, but I can think of some uses for that shrinking power let me tell you EDIT: yes thank you, would bang

Man in the Mirror

Pros: Loving the shades holy shit, that’s hot

Cons: No proper mouth :[

Bang?: Yeah, would bang

Mr. President

Bang?: I’M NOT FUCKING A TURTLE, GET OUT, WOULD NOT BANG EDIT: WELL YEAH STILL WOULD NOT BANG

The Grateful Dead

Pros: Tentacles?

Cons: I mean, if you’re doing the frick frack with him and his whole power depends on body heat and like nooooooooo, do the “thing” and you’ll age hella fast nooooo would not recommend

Bang?: Noooooooo, would not bang EDIT: PLEASE YES WOULD BANG

Beach Boy

Cons: Ehm, it’s a fishing rod

Bang?: I personally would not bang, but hey each to their own, shove it up somewhere man I don’t know EDIT: I’M SHOVING IT UP MY SOMEWHERE ALRIGHT, WOULD BANG

Baby Face

Pros/Cons: To be honest, it just depends on who the mother is since he gets his personality from her, but hey he’s cute so

Bang?: Why not, would bang

White Album

Cons: Ghiaccio wore it, so???????? I mean? I don’t really know?

Bang?: I’m not sure? I would love to bang Ghiaccio but this is a Stand bang list damn it so uhhhh????????, would bang?

Clash

Bang?: I’m not fucking a fish shark thing, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Talking Head

Bang?: Ewww no, would not bang, how would that even work EDIT: I DON’T KNOW BUT WOULD BANG

Notorious B.I.G.

Bang?: Noooooooooooooooooooo, would not bang, again how would this even work it’s like a fucking creature thing like no and it like attacks things that move so if you try to bang it might kill you??? or like I don’t even know just no EDIT: IM FUCKING B.I.G.

Metallica

Bang?: I love this Stand so much, but NOPE, WOULD NOT BANG, HOW EVEN WORK, DUNNO, DON’T WANNA KNOW, I’M NOT REALLY INTO BLOOD PLAY???, NEXT EDIT: FUCKING THEM, WOULD BANG

Green Day

Cons: Kinda creepy looking and like mold???? No thank you

Bang?: Would bang EDIT: B)

Oasis

Cons: Again Secco wears it so uhhh????

Bang?: No, would not bang, not even the user hell no EDIT: WOULD BANG, still not the user tho

Chariot Requiem

Pros: He’s really cool looking

Bang?: I mean why not man, would bang

Gold Experience Requiem

Pros: Mmmm fuck me GER, he’s so hot

Bang?: You fucking know it, would bang

Rolling Stones

Cons: It’s like a fucking rock what the fuck would you even do with it

Bang?: No, would not bang EDIT: FUCKING A ROCK LET’S GO, WOULD BANG

King Crimson

PROS: *FANS SELF*, OH FUCK, HERE HE IS, OH SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS, HE’S SO HOT, HE’S JUST SO FUCKING HOT, HIS BODY, HIS TWO FACES (PERPETUALLY PISSED OFF), HIS CALVES, I LOVE KC’S LEGS SO MUCH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

BANG?: FUCKING HELL YES YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOOOOOOOW, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG

Stone Ocean:

Stone Free

Pros: HER SHAAAAAAAADES, she’s so fucking beautiful, also bondage

Bang?: Fuck yes, would bang

Kiss

Pros: She’s fucking hot bruh

Bang?: Yuh, would bang

Burning Down the House

Cons: Isn’t it a fucking room??

Bang?: I mean I guess you could bang inside the room, maybe on top of the piano and shit but no, would not bang? EDIT: WOULD BANG

Foo Fighters

Bang?: FF is basically sentient plankton and I love her, but no, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG FF

Weather Report

Pros: He’s so fucking cute

Cons: No proper mouth

Bang?: Yessssssss, would bang

Diver Down

Pros: I love Double D, he’s so cute!!!

Cons: Again no proper mouth

Bang?: Yup, would bang

Goo Goo Dolls

Cons: Creepy as shit

Bang?: Noooo, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Manhattan Transfer

Cons: It’s a fucking thing! I don’t what to call it but it’s a thing!

Bang?: It’s a fucking thing I don’t know! No, would not bang! I don’t even know what it is! Love the user tho EDIT: I’M FUCKING A THING, WOULD BANG

Highway to Hell

Bang?: Would not bang, how even EDIT: I DUNNO BUT WOULD BANG

Marilyn Manson

Pros: Humanoid body

Cons: Kinda ugly tho, no proper mouth

Bang?: Nah, would not bang EDIT: YAH, WOULD BANG

Jumpin’ Jack Flash

Cons: Isn’t it a fucking suit thing too???

Bang?: Would bang

Limp Bizkit

Cons: It’s basically just an ability, no physical form

Bang?: No, I would have to fuck an invisible corpse, like jfc I’ll pass thank you, would not bang EDIT: WELL. YEAH IT IS AN ABILITY. SO…YEAH NO.

Survivor

Cons: It’s a fucking thing as well!!!!

Bang?: NO! It would just turn the sex extremely violent and someone will end up dead or something, I do not recommend this Stand, would not bang EDIT: FUCK IT, WOULD BANG. DEATH BY BANGING

Planet Waves

Pros: Pretty hot

Cons: Face kinda ugly tho

Bang?: Yeah, would bang

Dragon’s Dream

Bang?: Would not bang, just…no bye EDIT: YES HELLO, WOULD BANG

Yo-Yo Ma

Bang?: Nah he ugly, would bang EDIT: B)

Green, Green Grass of Home

Cons: You wouldn’t even be able to approach him???

Bang?: How!? Would not bang, even if he didn’t activate his power still would not bang, he’s creepy looking, love the Stand tho EDIT: BEING CREEPY IS A TURN ON, WOULD BANG

Jail House Lock

Cons: Ugly as fuck bruh

Bang?: Nah son, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Bohemian Rhapsody

Bang?: I mean, it can bring characters to life but you’re fated to what their story is and just nooooooo thank you, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG, HELLO? EVER HEARD OF ROLEPLAYING!?!?!??

Sky High

Cons: It’s a fucking beetle and rods ewwwww

Bang?: No, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG, if i can bang a robot mosquito i can bang anything

Under World

Pros: Pretty cute

Cons: No proper mouth

Bang?: I guess, would bang

Whitesnake

PROS: OH FUCK ME, THERE HE FUCKING IS, OH GOD, OH GOOOOOOOD, HE’S SO FUCKING HOT THO, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO ATTRACTIVE, HIS BODY, HIS VOICE, HIS PERSONALITY, UGH, UGGGGGGHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING BLUSHING HOLY SHIT

BANG?: PFFFFFT NO SHIT SHERLOCK, PUT ME IN A THREESOME WITH THE WORLD AND WHITESNAKE, FUCKING DO IT, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG

C-Moon

PROS: MMMMMMM I FIND C-MOON SO ATTRACTIVE I’M SO SORRY

BANG?: PLEASE YES FUCK ME PLEASE, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG

Made in Heaven

PROS: HE’S PRETTY FUCKING CUTE I WON’T LIE

CONS: HIS LOWER HALF IS A HORSE HEAD AND LEGS??????

BANG?: I MEAN, NO, BUT HE’S STILL ONE OF MY FAVOURITE STANDS, BUT NO, WOULD NOT BANG EDIT: SHUT THE FUCK UP. I WOULD SO BANG MIH GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT, WOULD FUCKING BANG

Steel Ball Run (EDIT: Actually SBR Stands are so different so most of these won’t be edited):

Scan

Bang?: Uh. How would this even…no, would not bang

Ball Breaker

Bang?: *scratches head* No, would not bang

Tusk

Bang?: I find all Acts of Tusk extremely adorable, but no would not bang any of them EDIT: UHM. YES WOULD BANG ALL OF THEM BYE

Ticket to Ride

Bang?: It’s not really a Stand like the others with a physical form like Star Platinum or something you wear like White Album, so would not bang, SBR is being difficult oh my god

Cream Starter

Cons: It’s a fucking spray can?

Bang?: Would not bang a fucking spray can

Oh! Lonesome Me

Cons: SBR hates me. It’s not like fucking ugh it just allows Tim to separate his body parts with rope and shit man, no physical form

Bang?: Nooooooo, would not bang, can’t bang??? Would bang Tim tho but like he’s not a Stand

Hey Ya!

Cons: Ugly and creepy looking but thank you for being a Stand I can comprehend banging!

Bang?: Would not bang

Boku no Rhythm wo Kiitekure

Bang?: It was like little time bombs with pins and shit man, no, would not bang, damn it SBR

20th Century Boy

Bang?: *bangs head against desk* Again, you like wear it? Soooooo???? Would not bang

Wired

Bang?: Hooks man, no man, just no. Would not bang

Mandom

Pros: I mean, he doesn’t really have a face but he’s cute in his own way

Cons: I mean, he doesn’t really have a face? Or a body?

Bang?: I mean, how would even bang him? Would not bang?

Catch the Rainbow

Cons: It’s a mask

Bang?: No, it’s a mask. Would not bang

Tubular Bells  

Bang?: It’s more of an ability than anything, no physical form a fucking again so no, would not bang, c’mon SBR be nice to me

Scary Monsters

Bang?: I AM NOT BANGING DINOSAURS, NO, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, BYE, BYEEEEEEEE, WOULD NOT BANG, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND, MOVING ON

In a Silent Way

Cons: Creeps me the fuck out

Bang?: Naaaaaah, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Tomb of the Boom

Bang?: Nah fuck that it ugly looking, would not bang, next

Tatoo You!

Bang?: Would not bang

Sugar Mountain

Cons: FUCK A TREE. JUST FUCKING DO IT. GO AHEAD.

Bang?: Would not bang EDIT: I’M FUCKING A TREE

Civil War

Pros: Humanoid figure!

Cons: Scary looking tho

Bang?: Would not bang

Chocolate Disco

Cons: Uh. It’s like arm grid thing.

Bang?: Uh. No. Would not bang

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

PROS: ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL FUCKING RIIIIIIIIGHT, HERE HE IS, HERE HE FUCKING IS, THE ONE AND ONLY BUNNY, SO HOT, SO GODDAMN HOT, AND HIS BUNNY EARS JUST LOOK AT EM, AND A NICE FUCKING BOD, could probably have an orgy with the user too if you want since parallel worlds and what not

CONS: NO PROPER MOUTH THO

BANG?: YA DARN FUCKING RIGHT, WOULD BANG, WOULD FUCKING BANG

JoJolion:

Soft & Wet

Pros: S&W is actually the cutest fucking thing, look at him, precious baby!!!! He has a great butt too

Cons: Poor baby has no proper mouth

Bang?: Totes, would bang, pretty sure you could come up with some kinky stuff with his ability to temporary take something away too

Fun Fun Fun

Bang?: No man, would not bang EDIT: YES MAN, WOULD BANG

California King Bed

Pros: Pretty cute

Cons: Uhhh no proper body

Bang?: Nah man, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG

Paisley Park

Pros: She’s pretty cute too

Cons: No proper mouth, a shame

Bang?: Sure, would bang

Born This Way

Pros: Humanoid figure

Cons: Ugly

Bang?: Would bang EDIT: B)

Les Feuilles

Bang?: Fucking eww no, would not bang EDIT: WOULD BANG, KINKY

Nut King Call

Pros: Humanoid figure!

Cons: Ugly!

Bang?: Would not bang, but I love the Stand EDIT: SHUT UP, WOULD BANG

Paper Moon King

Cons: FUCK ORIGAMI. FUCK YEAH.

Bang?: Would bang EDIT: FUCKING ORIGAMI B)

I Am a Rock

Pros: Okay but what if he uses his selective attraction on his own spiked dick or something and hits your sweet spot or whatever without fail as y’all are doing “the thing”, tbh I’m just spouting shit because I’m pretty sure nobody has read now this far

Cons: Those spikes look like they’ll be painful man

Bang?: Love the Stand, love the user, but would not bang EDIT: BE QUIET, WOULD BANG

King Nothing

Pros: Pretty cute actually

Cons: No proper mouth and…puzzle pieces

Bang?: I don’t think it would be comfortable? Would not bang? EDIT: BEING COMFORTABLE IS FOR CHUMPS, WOULD BANG

—

I’M FUCKING DONE I’M GOING TO CRY THIS TOOK TOO LONG OH MY GOD

[lf-yoursmile-blog]

Anime North 2018 ; Apologies & Confessions from a Super Awkward Person.

So introductions first, I guess … ?

This is a little long btw.

Let’s go with a quick description, actually. (If it rings a bell in remembrance, this apology is most likely for you. I’m partially apologizing for my existence in general tbh.<- this is the tl;dr. It’s loooong af. You have been warned.)

I wore my badge wrapped around my left wrist and bracelets on the other.

A necklace (with a hanging circular pendant or sorts)

Glasses on my face

Asian person guy? 

Almost always had a black fan I was playing with/waving around (?)

Vague enough, but sadly it’s like … the only defining features I can think of about me.

Oh, also I breathe air.

Yeah, I think that’ll help. Probably.

Oh, uh … Re:Zero backpack. That too.

[I’ll be working on my apologies here, backtracking through memory.]

So my first apology goes out to the Zero Two cosplayer this Sunday, whose phone I accidentally picked up in a hurried rush thinking someone dropped their phone.

Like, my thoughts were caught between taking notes of the photographer’s directions (who was getting some pictures of her at the time), this being the last day of AN, and my wanting to somehow ask for a picture as well without interrupting the photographer’s picture shoot. When I noticed the phone flop out of the corner of my eye, I panicked & seriously thought someone was briskly walking off without it.

God, I’ve been lamenting that event ever since. I felt so bad about it & embarrassed. Like, how panicked she must’ve felt to have someone just thief her phone right in front of her (at least from what it probably & understandably looked like.)

I’m happy there was somewhat of an understanding of my mistake, but I honestly couldn’t believe what I just did to the poor girl. …there was no way I could ask for a photograph after that, let alone honestly look her in the eyes after that. I felt so ashamed arhggerang;dfang.

My friend spoke to me after I told him about it, and he said that it was an honest mistake - especially since it was such a split second ‘make it or break it’ decision. I still can’t help feeling horrible about it, though. I really meant well when it happened, I swear. ( ≧Д≦)

If this was you, the Zero Two cosplayer - I am so so so so so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could make it up to you, but hopefully, it didn’t ruin too much of your day if at all. I hope you enjoyed the convention despite that unfortunate mistake of mine. I really do hope so.

If you know her, perhaps forward the message? Anyway ~

This next apology goes out to quite literally every cosplayer I’ve ever walked by. I’m a super self-conscious & a spacially aware person by nature - really appreciative of all the work everyone’s put into their costumes & props, but my biggest caveat is that I am straight up struck with crazy social anxiety. I managed to work up the courage to ask 3 or 4 people for photos this whole weekend, but aside from that I only ever secured shots from designated photoshoots (or snuck in a photo from when cosplayers were posing for other people by their request.)  All the crazy cool outfits I recognized, and the fantastic individuals wearing them;

Just know that if you ever caught me looking at you with even the slightest glance that I truly wanted to ask for a photo/talk to you for a little while. (I hope I didn’t make things weird or uncomfortable too, aHHHH.) I do believe that these sort of things should be given appreciation if one takes notice. This is especially true for the arts IMO. The number of questions I’ve had about the way the lot of you have personally prepared your costumes are just … way too many in my head.

And there was an overwhelming number of individuals that fall into this category.

Yeah, like seriously - even after designated photoshoots with amazing cosplayers still lingering after the shoots, I haven’t the slightest idea how I could work myself up to personally ask for single shots by request. It’s a little bit pathetic, I know. Maybe next year I’ll be able to ask at least like … 10+ people? Pfftahah, I would hope so. It’s a personal problem, I understand. God, I wish I could. Moving on to my next point ~

So ~ uh … Re:Zero backpack. If you saw me on Friday, like yeahHHHH I was at the photoshoot too (without my good camera. Only my phone, so rip.) Also on that day wearing my all-time favorite sweater of the beloved Rem!

This apology kind of falls into the one above, but a little more personally? It just saddens me that I didn’t ask pretty much everyone cosplaying from the series for a photo, despite dying on the inside regarding how much I wanted to. Also the fact that I was tryin’ to rep the series as a normie congoer ((´д｀)). I just couldn’t do it.

Subaru from the photo shoot, I was lowkey jelly of you lmfao. (<- side note.) That one pose with all the Rems ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ. Man. You did have a brilliant expression when it came to the grieving pose, though. I was pretty impressed with it! Well done!

And dear Rem; the one whom I had awkwardly stood in the elevator with after the shoot - you did her justice & I had so much I wanted to say, but ahhhHHheagfdag;n. Regrets, and bad feels because of regrets;;. I am just so sorry. You seemed super cool too.

But ‘chea … that’s that.

And my final apology goes out to uh … the people at the dances? (Thursday & Saturday)

Okay, so I was pretty much sitting out on the sideline the whole time apart from the Back-On concert - h o w e v e r - I swear I exchanged some looks with a few of you. A n d - [ please correct me if I’m wrong ->] I know I looked like a loner but I was enjoying my time there with whatever energy I had left, I swear! (This is my plea that I hope none of you were feeling sorry for me.)

I’m not going to lie, I really wanted to get out there and dance too! My energy was well over drained, though. Can’t say that I’d be adding to the atmosphere if I did any more than a body pillow being tossed around the place, which is a shame. I think all I could do at that point was appreciate the music mixes (which were actually nice and actual tunes I’d personally jam out to.) It was cool seeing things liven up from the start.

I am sorry if I made things weird for any of you by sitting out the whole time. Legit, it would be disheartening to know that I did.

As a request for next time, someone please grab my dead ass and throw me into the pit; I enjoy dancing too much to stay down against the wall. I’d rather dance ‘till I drop, even if it’ll last for 3 seconds. It’d be a fun way to go.

You all looked like super fun people to dance with. Really lovely moves too!

- I n   c l o s i n g -

This is my heartfelt apology to just about everyone I’ve come across to some degree over the weekend. My message might not ever reach the eyes I intend for it to reach (as much as I may hope,) but regardless; I hope you all have enjoyed your time at Anime North 2018!

This has been your professional awkward turtle, signing out. [ till next time ]