Wait! You think Iâm handsome? Day made already and Iâve only just woke up.
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I Want You to Stay (14) - FINALE (JJK)
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; arts, business/property devt, and book publishing talk thatâs probably inaccurate; mentions of trauma & family drama; lots of fluff; explicit sexual content (lots of making out, oral (m & f receiving), body praise, un/protected sex)  (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 32.8k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Complete
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đ¶: on the way home
A/N: And then it ends! Please bear with the length of this final chapter - it felt right to finish the series with all this đ€ This was so satisfying to write despite the emotional roller coaster, and I just want to thank you for sticking with me through this and showing me/it so much love. It's a fanfic writer bucket list of mine to write boss JK! I hope you enjoy! đ„° Like I've said before, I have plans for season 2, but I don't know if I'll actually be able to write it so đ€đœ
And like always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight for listening to me talk about this for months. đ
##Â
Your heavy eyes flutter open before they close again, and for the briefest moment, you think you see Jungkook smiling at you, his doe eyes gazing at your sleeping form. You do it again, and right after your eyes fall shut, you feel soft lips on your bare shoulder, his warm breath heating your shivering body.Â
His absence causes you to quiver, but youâre too tired to move. Even if you werenât, you probably wouldnât be able to pull the covers over you, not when you have the said man leaving kisses down your spine and then back up to peck on your exposed cheek. Yet no matter how tempting it is to return them, your mind decides it just needs a bit more time to wake up, and so does your sore body that feels like it ran a marathon that you just werenât trained for.
Because much as you took on Jungkookâs challenge last night about being able to have sex all night, as it turns out, youâre the one who couldnât do it.
He first had you on top of him, kneading your ass and directing your movements while he pounded on you from below. The way he felt from that angle had your stomach in knots, and when he wrapped his arms around you to keep you steady while he tried to go deeper as he sucked and licked your neck, you were a goner.Â
You were on your back before you knew it. And while he aided you in coming down from your high through languid kisses and licks on your mouth, it wasnât long before he had you keening again. His tongue lapped up your folds and swirled around your sensitive nub, and despite your mind feeling numb by then, your cunt throbbed for him. It wasnât long before he was inside you again, thrusting into you fervently before slowing the pace and taking you more gently.Â
The way he grunted as you whispered for him to come suddenly rings in your mind. Coupled with his morning kisses all over your body, you moan in pleasure, and he hasnât even done much yet.Â
Perhaps itâs also because of these luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets that are making you feel like youâre in heaven. Or the fact that they smell so good, too, like fresh laundry but more delicate, and all you want is to drown in this softness. So you do something close and bury your face on the pillow while you remain flat on your belly. You take a deep breath and release it with another moan.
âSounds like someone slept well, huh?â You hear him chuckle, his mouth now detaching from your skin.Â
âYou tired me out, Jungkook,â you hum, your eyes still closed as you bask in the comfort of his bed. âWhy are you even awake?â
âBecause I always wake up early. And itâs past 10,â he reasons. âI went for a run then hit the gym. I figured youâd be awake by now and well⊠you arenât.â
âIââ
Your mind slightly catches some life as you hear that heâd just done a workout, so you take a peak and the sight doesnât disappoint. He stands by the bedside with only his track pants on, his hands in his pockets with damp hair while he looks on as you slowly twist and turn on the bed.Â
âIââ you repeat.
âYou donât have to get up if you donât want to. Iâm sorry I woke you,â he says softly.Â
You catch on to his apologetic tone and itâs what forces you awake. You know heâs used to starting his day early and you⊠youâre used to burying yourself in your bed until you have to get up to eat. Having someone to spend your days with is probably something youâre both gonna have to start getting used to.
Your eyes finally open and stay that way, and despite his sweat having dried already, Jungkook still looks like heâs glowing against the late morning sun thatâs shining through his bedroom window. You shift yourself and sit up, suddenly hyper aware of how naked you are⊠in his bedroom, and for a brief moment, you think it was all in your head.Â
With the sheets finally covering your body, you look at him, prompting him to sit on the edge of the bed and smile at you. You take his hand and caress the fingers that held you, that gave you pleasure, that traced patterns on your skin that you feel are now etched in its memory.Â
âLast night wasnât a dream,â you utter, as if proclaiming it to the universe, as if claiming this reality for yourself.Â
âIt better not be,â he laughs, softening when you do. âYou, uh, you found me.â
âWell, you did tell me where to go,â you point out.
âYes, unlike you,â he counters, recalling how your letter had just told him to find you with no instructions of where.
Your pout makes him laugh and itâs the sweetest sound youâve ever heard, one you didnât know when youâd hear again. But you give him a pass because heâs right, and all you want to do is make it up to him for making these past few weeks quite unbearable.
But he gets to you first, as he kisses your cheek. Thereâs adoration mixed with shyness in his eyes and tenderness with his every touch. You wouldnât say itâs something you didnât expect despite his usual detachment, but it strikes you just how much of this softness has been hiding underneath. Youâve seen him be protective of you and be caring, but this side of him is new. You suppose being mellow and giggly comes naturally once heâs allowed himself to be vulnerable and open up. Maybe itâs also just a result of last nightâs events.
He removes the strands of your hair that had stuck to your face, and it dawns on you again that itâs morning and you had indeed just woken up. You whine that youâve got crusty eyes and morning breath so you create some distance, but he just laughs and says he doesnât care one bit.
âYouâre pretty even in the morning,â he adds.
Jungkook watches you nibble your lips as you try to suppress a smile that you make anyway. When youâre bold about what you want from him, something inside him stirs, a certain kind of desire that explodes because he wants to fulfill your need, to make you feel good, to let you know that you affect him the same way.Â
But when youâre shy the way you are right now, as if youâre still trying to wrap your head around your new reality with him, giggling and grinning like a schoolgirl with a crush, he wants to just hold you in his arms and keep you there. Something softens in him because you - strong and stubborn you - gets flustered because of him. The competent and confident woman he knows suddenly doesnât know what to say when he calls her pretty, which heâs glad heâs able to verbalize now. It used to be a thought that just constantly rang in his head, but one he tried so hard to quell. He gets to say it to you with confidence from now on and heâll be able to say it everyday.Â
Once your face settles with a comfortable smile, he sighs in contentment, once again feeling like that dark cloud that hovered over him for years has gone away. Things used to feel so heavy as he wandered around an unknown place he's been in for so long, not knowing where to go. Itâs as if the days just passed him by and heâd forgotten how he spent them because there wasnât really much that he looked forward to.Â
Now he does, and he realized it when he woke up this morning and found you lying next to him. You were in deep sleep with your lips just slightly parted. Your hands were curled under your chin as you laid on your side, and there was this calmness on your face that gave him so much relief.Â
He felt light; he felt the darkness subside, too, and the unknown place heâd been wandering about suddenly looked familiar, yet it was still somehow new. There was that feeling of safety, of clarity, like he could do or be anything with you around. Those were things you gave him when you were still his assistant, and he gets to feel them again now that youâre so much more than that.Â
âWhat?â You ask, nudging him with your foot as he briefly zones out just thinking about all the things he wants to do with you.Â
âI was just savoring the look of you being flattered,â he hums. âItâs kinda cute.â
âOh shush,â you laugh. âIâm just not used to it.â
âWell, itâs not like I could just say youâll looked pretty when I was still your boss,â he points out.Â
âTrue,â you nod. âGood thing you arenât anymore, then.â
âExactly. So youâre just gonna have to get used to it.â
He looks at you as if itâs a warning, and you feel the heat rush to your cheeks.
âNoted, Mr. Jeon,â you whisper to tease.
âFuck,â he groans. âI want to kiss you right now.â
âDonât tell me that turned you on!â You gasp, giggling now as he shakes his head.
âOnly if you say it like that!â He whines, the sultry tone of your voice echoing in his ears. âYou know what, Iâm gonna take a shower.â
âAnd Iâm gonna brush my teeth so you can kiss me all you want!â
âIâm gonna have to get used to that, too,â he smiles.
âWell, itâs not like I could say that to you when I was still your assistant,â you repeat his words.
âAnd good thing you arenât anymore, Ms. Cho,â he laughs, not wanting to get carried away right now.
You laugh as well before he leaves to take a shower. You give yourself this quiet time on your own to process where you are at this moment. Youâre in a room you used to enter everyday, and your mere glances made you curious about what Jungkook kept in his personal space.Â
Youâre here now, and you see that thereâs really not much, other than a floor-to-ceiling window, a television, a bar cart, and a couch. Heâs got an interesting light fixture and abstract art on the wall. His decorative pieces consist of small sculptures and framed buildings, but there are no photos or other mementos. You suppose heâs not really the type, and that just makes you hope that you can help him add a bit of personal touch so that his room could feel more comfortable, or maybe add a bit of warmth to an otherwise cold, monochromati space. You decide thatâs something youâll eventually figure out.Â
You take your phone from the bedside and finally reply to your mom and your friends with more details about last night. You merely told them that you and Jungkook have made up, but itâs just today that youâre telling them how it happened.Â
He converted the archives section to a childrenâs library, you say in your message. Found him in his office, we talked, and I spent the night at his place. Thatâs all for now. Iâll talk to you soon.
Soominâs barrage of excited curses is immediate. Jimin says heâs happy for you. And your mom sends you a heart emoji and tells you to stay happy.
You send a message to Yoongi, too, saying that you found Jungkook and that now you can learn what your heart is capable of. You thank him again, even if you know that those words will never be enough.
Standing from the bed, you head to the bathroom to finally wash up, thinking that itâll take a while more before Jungkook finishes. You brush your teeth as you face the mirror, seeing his silhouette behind the frosted glass of the shower enclosure from the reflection. He exits before you finish, and you slow your movements once he comes into view, naked and all wet, and somehow even more breathtakingly handsome than usual.Â
You try to act unbothered as you wash your face, only glancing up to see him with a towel around his waist and another one that he uses to dry his hair. The flex of his tattooed arm brings back memories from last night when it was propped up on your side, supporting his body while he thrusted relentlessly inside you. You gripped that arm when he went deeper, and it was the same one that held you when you started drifting off to sleep.Â
He stands behind you and gives you a boyish smile before wrapping his arms around your waist. You jerk a little in surprise but soften when his chin rests on your shoulder, and the way he looks comfortable and content has your heart soaring at this side of him - bold and vulnerable as he expresses the things he feels for you in action.
âCan I do this?â He asks as he buries his face in your neck.
âJungkook, weâve done a lot in the last 12 hours,â you remind him. âWhy are you asking permission to hug me?â
âI just donât want to overwhelm you.â
You turn around to face him and look at him questioningly, unable to follow. Youâd think that given all that youâve both done, simple affection like this is far from overwhelming.Â
âWhat I mean is⊠Sex is sex. With you, itâs meaningful and intimate. Weâre so lost in the feeling of desire and all that but thisâŠâ he says, wrapping your arms around him as if to explain. âThis⊠this is a different kind of intimate. Waking up next to each other, morning kisses, random hugs⊠they say something else.â
âAnd that is?â You ask after a beat of silence, needing that quiet to take in his words.
âThat I want you beyond all that lust and that high,â he answers. âAnd this⊠This takes more from us. And I know that because this used to scare me. This⊠I donât know, vulnerability I guess? Having someone next to me while I sleep, being the first thing they see in the morning, doing ordinary things with them like taking a shower or something. Holding their hand. Hugging them because it just feels right. I donât know if Iâm making sense butââ
âYou are,â you interject, knowing exactly what he means.Â
You used to say how you were intimate with the men you dated but you couldnât say that you shared intimacy with them. It was such an abstract concept for you. That familiarity, that emotional connection, that feeling of safety and belongingness, and of certainty and clarity seemed so intangible.Â
Thereâs a reason why you never had them over at your place, why you could sleep and wake up next to them in their homes but prefer to spend the rest of the day by yourself or with your friends. Thereâs a reason why you were cautious about the personal things you shared, about your dreams and fears, why you never let them close enough to know how to love you. Something was always lacking and a part of that was because you never allowed yourself to give them more than what they could touch. Your body was as far as they could go; your heart was a restricted place that no one could enter.
Until Jungkook, and suddenly that intimacy is something tangible. You can feel it when his arms are around you, you can hear it in his giggles, you can see it in his smile, you can smell it as he stands a breath away, and you can taste it in his mouth, one that welcomes you in when you kiss him tenderly. You know thereâll be more ways that it will be tangible to you, that itâll be something real and definite, something your mind could at least try to grasp. And heâs right - doing this takes more from you than sex for the sake of it ever could.Â
Youâre letting someone into a place youâve kept to yourself for so long. And that itself could be quite disorienting and overwhelming. He gets it because itâs something heâs probably done before, and heâs doing it again now.
You tell him with the way you kiss him that you get it, too. You tell him by the way you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer that thatâs where you want him, and that heâs settled in your heart so suddenly yet so certainly that you donât want him to go anywhere.Â
Youâre content with this. You feel your need for pleasure heighten, you feel that slight throbbing of your cunt and the need for friction, you feel that desire course through your veins but youâre satisfied with this intimacy you share. You say it with how tenderly your fingers graze his face, with how your hand gently rests on his bare chest, and with how your movements remain slow, focused on the feel of him more than anything else.
He understands your contentment, too, and he says it with how he follows your pace, with how he softly palms your bare thighs, and with how he nibbles your lips in affection. You both pull away to get some air but he tells you, too, through his soft kisses on your cheeks and your forehead before a final one on your nose that this is enough, and that right now, this is all he needs.Â
âI bought breakfast,â he tells you as he takes your hand in his then leads you out of the bathroom. He grabs a pair of shorts from his closet while you watch on. âI got those street toasts and some pastries. Iâll warm them up and heat the coffee. Is that okay?â
âOf course,â you respond, giddy at the thought that he bought those for you. You mentioned in passing last night that youâve missed eating them after being at your momâs place for much of the week. âYou still donât have anything in your fridge or your pantry.â
âExactly. So uh, I was thinking we could go do some groceries today and I can make something for you for a change, and no, the eggs on toast that one time donât count.â
Youâre endeared by the shy look on his face, and itâs not really one you can say no to.Â
âSure, that would be nice,â you smile.Â
âI was hoping youâd, uh, stay the night again. And again. I canceled work for the team on Monday but I have to meet Hoseok and my father. Maybe I should cancel that, too.â
âAnd tell them, what? That youâre gonna be with me?â You chuckle. âThatâs not happening. This⊠this canât come between you and your job, okay?â You remind him, as you donât want your newly formed relationship to negatively affect him, especially after all the work heâs done to be what he is now. âWork comes first. Iâll always understand.â
âIt goes both ways,â he hums, as he sets the food in front of you. âSo, when do you start your new job?â
âNext Monday,â you answer. âWhich reminds me⊠I have to shop for trousers and dresses.â
âSo, a wardrobe change, huh?â He asks, placing the cup of coffee and glass of water on the table before taking the seat next to you.Â
âSort of. The pencil skirts feel restrictive. Plus, every time we ate out, I was always scared that the zipper would pop or something,â you laugh.Â
âIt always felt odd that that was the recommended outfit for assistants,â he says. âI liked them on you though⊠respectfully speaking.â
You playfully shake your head at his statement, but he defends that they always paired well with your pastel-colored blouses that he claims bring out the color of your eyes.Â
âWell, Iâll still be using those. I just need to pair them with something else less formal.â
âWe can go shopping today then,â he suggests. âNot unless thatâs something you want to do on your own. I understand if it is. I mean, I⊠I donât want to impose. I⊠I didnât even ask you what you wanted to do today.â
âI didnât really have anything in mind. My weekends are usually just spent doing chores and errands or watching stuff at home or in my local theater,â you say. âNot unless my friends visit or I go home. Other than that I just⊠do whatever I feel like on my own. And you? What do you usually do on weekends?âÂ
âWork, gym, drink, watch sports, sleep,â he chuckles, recalling those days of loneliness and nothingness, which really wasnât that long ago. âMeet my parents if I have to, hang out with my friends if Iâm in the mood.â
âAnd go to the clubs?â You cock an eyebrow.Â
âYeah, I guess,â he hums, knowing what youâre alluding to. âI do it less frequently now, though. I just go there to catch up with them then I go home. Donât you do that, too?â
âOnly when Jimin and Soomin are here. Socialite stuff, you know?â You explain.
âI guess,â he shrugs. âBut we can do anything you want today. Itâs up to you.â
âOkay, then shopping it is,â you smile at him, thinking itâs something fun that you could do together.Â
You think anything with him would be, and it excites you to know that many of the things you used to do alone is something you could now share and do with him. Maybe you could even do something new, like some outdoor activity or go to the arcades or even do a ghost tour just because.
But something ordinary like going to the groceries and shopping for new clothes are things you want to experience with him, too. Theyâre those intimate acts that he talked about earlier - simple and mundane, yet special and comfortable.Â
As you watch him in his plain shirt and shorts with his legs spread out as he sits on the chair beside you, and with him asking if youâre full and if thereâs anything else you want, you think about all the days youâd spent on your own. There was always a certain kind of peace you felt then; you were alone but you werenât lonely.Â
There were days when it got to you though, as you thought that it was probably nice to have someone to share a meal with, to laugh with as you watched your variety shows, and to lay next to as you talked about your day. You dwelled on the scenes that played in your head only briefly, knowing that there wasnât anyone in your life then that you wanted to do those simple, mundane things with.Â
But with Jungkook here with you now, sharing those with someone does seem to require a level of vulnerability you hadnât really thought about. Youâre letting him in a space thatâs always just had you in it, doing things that gave you peace, that gave you energy, that gave you those bits of happiness. Heâll no longer just be getting a peek into the world you carved for yourself; heâll now truly be a part of it. And you want him to know that even if it may seem like itâs overwhelming, you welcome him completely.
âWhat you said earlier about not wanting to overwhelm me,â you start, âI⊠I appreciate that. This isnât just a new side of you Iâm experiencing. This is also a new side of myself that Iâm getting to know, that Iâm going to get used to.â
âI know. And I understand that,â he responds, turning to face you now. âPeople bring out parts of ourselves that we didnât know we had. Or forgotten we had.â
âI guess. Iâve just⊠Iâve just never had a proper relationship before, you know? Iâve dated people but there were sides of me I didnât wanna show, and there were things that I couldnât really bring myself to do.â
âSuch as?â
âLingering,â you say after a beat of silence. âLittle forms of affection that you mindlessly do,â you continue, fiddling with his fingers. âAnd meeting the parents. That was always too much for me.â
âWell, youâve met mine,â he points out. âYou knew them before you even knew me.â
Thereâs no bitterness in his voice but youâre reminded of the secret you kept, and that itâs something you still havenât really acknowledged.
âIâm sorry about keeping that from you,â you bow your head. âI didnât plan on deceiving you or anything. And I didnât think it mattered. It only did once I started liking you. And I got too caught up with what I felt that I didnât tell you right away.â
âHey, you had your reasons,â he nudges your knee so youâd look at him. You look up and see the softness in his eyes. âAnd Iâll never fault you for them. You did what you had to do and Iâm just glad you stayed long enough for us to meet again. I admit I⊠I thought that maybe you mistook your feelings for loyalty. That you cared because you thought you had to. And Iâm sorry I did.â
âYou had your reasons, too,â you answer. âAnd Iâm sorry thatâs what you thought after I kept it all from you. But it wasnât hard to care about you, Jungkook,â you smile now. âWhat was hard was stopping myself from doing so. Even your parents noticed that. I guess I donât have to prove that to them anymore. Iâd like to think that with all the talks I had with your father, they already approve of me being with their son.â
His shy smile makes you feel giddy, as he bites his lip and the little dip on his cheek turns up.Â
âWell, I hope that your mom approves of me being with her daughter after that one talk with her,â he says worriedly.Â
âAfter expressing your feelings for me like that? Of course she does,â you giggle. âShe told me not to go back to the house unless Iâm with you so⊠yes, she definitely approves.â
âThatâs a relief. I mean, after everything I put you through?â
His face falls a little and youâre starting to learn that he needs assurance every once in a while. So you give it to him, as you surprise him by sitting on his lap and cupping his face with your hands.Â
âWe put each other through a lot but weâre together now,â you remind him. âWeâre done with being idiots.â
âWe are,â he chuckles, agreeing with Yoongi and Mr. Ri who fondly and frustratingly called you that. âBut your mother might be serious about not welcoming you back there until Iâm with you so letâs schedule that trip, okay? Maybe I could meet her husband, too?â
âTheyâre not actually married,â you sigh, shifting so that youâre leaning on his chest now. âTheyâve been together for over 10 years and Min-woo has even proposed but she doesnât think marrying is necessary. Theyâre committed, theyâre happy, she treats Yoon-chae and Yeo-jin like her daughters. This⊠this family is all they need, not a marriage. Plus, itâs quite expensive to do that and sheâs just being practical.â
 âDo you agree with her?â
âI guess,â you shrug. âI mean, what else is stronger than love? Than committing your whole self to that person?â
âCommitting the rest of your life to them,â Jungkook responds.
He knows itâs not easy though. Heâd seen his parents drift apart but he also saw them stand by each other after all that. Maybe they had to because thatâs what commitment means - itâs an obligation, a duty; it gives the person no choice but to stay. But then again, after speaking to them more regularly these past weeks, heâs seen their little acts of care and support for each other, of understanding and trust. Perhaps commitment is also that devotion, that promise and constancy, that tangibility of connection and permanence. Â
âMaybe,â you hum. âI think itâs just a fear that she never really got over. Her parents divorced. My biological father had plans of marrying her only to leave before I was born. She says she doesnât want to taint what she already has with Min-woo over some symbolic act thatâs hurt her twice before. And I donât blame her. Things hurt us and then⊠we just get scared. Itâs human nature, I think.â
âThatâs true. I⊠Iâm proof of that,â he whispers, as if in shame.Â
âSo am I,â you utter, shifting now so you can look at him again in assurance. âIt wasnât even my pain I carried; it was hers. But that still kept me from accepting good things. I was scared to open myself up, I was scared to loveâŠâ
Love. Itâs a foreign word to you in the context of romance. Itâs something that seemed easy to understand but you realized that feeling it isnât. Nor is finding it. You know youâve never felt anything like how Jungkook makes you feel, and you wonder if love is something like this, and if itâs something that he feels, too.
âI get it,â he looks away. âItâs not easy to do nor is it easy to take. You never know if youâre good enough for it or if you deserve it. I learned that the hard way, and I still donât think IâŠâ he trails, shaking his head, as if itâs too much or too soon for him to say.Â
You suppose it is. You donât know much about his relationships but you do remember Taehyung mentioning an ex-girlfriend before, someone whom Jungkook seemed to have loved so much, given the heartbreak he suffered through after the breakup. You wonder if heâll ever talk about her, or if it even matters. Heâs already let you in, and you donât want to give him a reason to shut you out or feel like youâre intruding. Your relationships are hard to talk about, too, not because they hurt you but because you feel ashamed of them. There are crevices in your heart that you want to leave untouched; you suppose that so does he.
âItâs okay,â you tell him, hoping heâd look at you again.Â
He eventually does, the softness on his face returning when you tell him you understand. He nods and smiles, pulling you close for a languid kiss, his grip on your waist tightening as you match his slow place.Â
Jungkook feels you smile against his lips. Whatever heaviness he felt earlier as he talked about love, something heâs been afraid to have again after he shunned it away, disappears.Â
Thatâs what kissing you does to him, heâs learning now. It makes the pain hurt less. It makes him forget about his burdens. It makes him feel something he hasnât in a long time. It makes him hope that heâs capable of doing right by you this time.Â
And with how you hug him tightly after you pull away to breathe, he knows that kissing you gives him that strength to face whatever it is heâs still afraid of, and that youâll stand by him until heâs ready.
You watch Jungkook from next to your closet as you wear your slip-on dress, a practical outfit given your shopping plans this afternoon. Youâve gone back to your apartment for a change of clothes and to bring some back to his place, and you left him in your living room as you packed your stuff from several meters away.Â
He stands by your couch, hands in his pockets as he looks at your photos on the shelf. He has a faraway look in his eyes, one thatâs different from the times he zones out and temporarily escapes to somewhere in his head. You wonder what specific photo heâs focused on and what heâs thinking, so you walk over to him and stand on his side.Â
Itâs the one of you in your uniform during your first day at your new school in Busan. You donât remember much from that day but your mom said you were shy to make friends. She told you that she was going to just be around because she worked there, too. You smiled just like she asked as she knelt down next to you while a moment marking your new life in a new town was being memorialized.Â
You donât recall taking that many pictures growing up but apparently she did, as she gave you a box of them when you moved back to Seoul on your own. They were all memories from a past you either couldnât remember or tried hard to forget, but somehow she kept the good ones, perhaps to remind you that in the midst of all that nightmare, she did her best to keep you safe and happy.
âYou have your motherâs smile,â Jungkook says. âItâs very warm and encouraging. I get it now, why my father thought you were just like her. Youâve always had this tenderness ever since you were young.â
âI guess,â you hum. âWhoâd know the pain underneath all that, right?â
âIâm sorry for what you had to go through,â he turns to you, feeling that tinge of pain in recalling what you experienced as a child.Â
âAnd Iâm sorry for what it did to your family,â you sigh, an apology that took you this long to give.
âIt wasnât your fault,â he responds, turning his gaze back to the photo. âI let the resentment get to me. I guess⊠my parents didnât deserve that.â
âIt doesnât change the fact that you were hurt, Jungkook. Your parents will always carry that with them. But they⊠they saved us. They helped us get away,â you remind him.Â
âI know. You get to be next to me because of them and that⊠thatâs helped me alot,â he admits. âIt helped me understand and forgive.â
âThatâs good. Iâm sure that means everything to them.â
Thereâs silence as his eyes remain focused on the photo, and you wonder what else heâs thinking, if thereâs anything else heâs sorry or thankful for.
âIâm trying so hard to remember meeting you that day,â he finally says, with a hint of desperation in his voice. âIâve buried so many memories and this is the one I wish I kept but I⊠I canât because itâs gone. I hate that it is.â
âIâve been trying to remember you, too,â you respond. âI almost didnât believe my mom when she said that weâve met before. She never told me about it but she said it slipped her mind. It was a long time ago and so much happened that day. Seeing you with that chocopie triggered that memory, I guess. We donât really talk about that time anymore. And I hate that itâs buried somewhere in my mind. But itâs a nice thought, isnât it?â You turn to him. âWe met all those years ago and we never knew. But I kept you with me in the form of a dessert that I still absolutely love, that I eat whenever Iâm sad or alone or upset. Connections arenât fleeting, Iâm sure of it now. Youâre proof of that.â Â
He returns your look, one of sadness but acceptance. Itâs one of those things youâre both going to have to deal with, as all the truths about your past come to light. You hope you can just focus on the good things from now on, and with how his lips slowly turn up in a smile, you think that so does he.
âThatâs true,â he hums. âYou stuck it out for me without even knowing. Thatâs⊠thatâs pretty special.â
âIt is,â you say, wrapping your arms around his waist for a hug and hearing him release a breath when you do. He returns the affection immediately, and realizing that itâs something you both naturally give to and receive from each other makes you smile. âItâs as if there was some invisible string that kept pulling me towards you. Itâs kinda stubborn like me, I think.â
Itâs a thought you hold close to your heart. Youâre not really one who believes in fate, but with Jungkook, itâs easy to fall into it. You canât help but think that beyond the debt you felt you had to pay, you unknowingly stayed in the company for another reason, and perhaps thatâs so you could meet him and remember it this time.Â
You held out so you could build something with him, so you could learn to want to be free, and then want it enough to finally put yourself first. Youâre only able to be with him because of that choice, and despite what it took for you to get here, itâs that same string thatâs keeping you from regretting all your decisions.Â
He responds with a soft kiss on your lips, one that you quickly melt into. The tender moment is slightly disrupted when he kneads your ass, something youâre also learning heâs quite fond of doing, causing you to yelp in surprise and laugh in response. But he just giggles and says he canât help it. He buries his face in your neck, the feel of him so close warming your insides as he seems to crave that proximity, too.
His phone ringing prompts him to pull away, and you let him go once he greets his mother on the other line.Â
âHello, my dear,â she chirps. âHow are you feeling today? Your father told me that you left the Arts Center quite early last night.â
âUh, yeah, I did,â he hums, sitting on the couch now while he watches you finish your packing. âI was just tired from all the socializing.â
âI understand. I can imagine how exhausted you must feel. Were you able to get some rest?â
âSort of,â he answers, smiling internally at how the night went.Â
Sure, there was a bit of rest, if he counts the four hours of sleep he had because he just couldnât get enough of you. Even when he was spent from all that you did, heâd just take you in his arms and all you had to do was smile at him or softly kiss his lips and then he wanted to go another round.Â
He supposes that all the built-up tension and months of holding himself back had just exploded, and he wants every opportunity he could have to show you how much you mean to him.
âWell, even then, I was hoping youâre free for dinner tonight,â his mother says. âThink of it as a celebration now that your big project is completed.â
âI, uh, Iâm kinda busy tonight,â he responds. âMaybe we can have dinner another time?â
âWhat else could you possibly be busy with this time?â She asks, but she doesnât sound offended.Â
Thereâs a tone of acceptance in her voice. Jungkook knows sheâs used to this, but he doesnât want this to continue being a norm. He genuinely wants to make time for them, and itâs something you encouraged him to do, too. But heâs still caught up with his new reality with you, so he decides to be honest instead.
âBeing with ___,â he admits. âWe finally talked and we, uh, we spent the night together. And weâre going out today.â
âOh, thatâs amazing news,â she sighs in relief. âYour father can breathe easy now. And he can finally claim to be a matchmaker,â she chuckles.
Jungkook hears his old man in the background say that it took 20 years but heâll take it.
âIs he next to you?â Jungkook laughs.Â
âHe is,â she responds. âHe said he saw ___ last night and she was looking for you, but he wasnât sure how to ask you how it went. So he asked me to invite you to dinner and see if you had plans and well, weâre glad you do.â
âYeah, we just have a lot to make up for,â he explains, glancing at you. âIf you were serious about a celebratory dinner then we can have it another day. Is that okay?â
âOf course, my dear,â she responds. âWhat about next weekend?â
âIâll confirm with her and let you know.â
âAlright, son. Well, we donât want to keep you,â his mother says. âYou and ___ have a good day, okay? Weâll see you soon.â
You watch Jungkook smile through the conversation with his parents, something you assume hasnât happened in years. Itâs nice to see him slowly start to mend their relationship. And though you want him to spend time with them, you also canât help but want to have him all to yourself, and staying in where he promised to cook you his speciality for dinner is how you want to spend your Saturday evening.
The thought excites you. Everything that happened last night just intensified your desire for him. For months, the affection you felt towards him slowly developed. And for months after, you tried to downplay it and hold yourself back from all you could feel. Now, you get to have him in all the ways you want, and itâs overwhelming. What once was a battle of conflicting emotions in your head and heart has been replaced with an overflow of them - all good ones, and itâs a new experience.Â
Itâs a new experience being able to talk about the things that hurt you, that scared you, that you dream about, just like you did last night while you sat on the couch. Itâs new being entangled with someone under soft sheets and actually wanting to stay. Itâs new sharing a meal with someone while you talk about your plans for the day, and then holding their hand while they drive later on. Itâs a new experience welcoming someone into your home and imagining spending days with them here.Â
Itâs also a new experience being able to openly ogle them, like what youâre doing now as you gaze at Jungkook sitting on your couch, phone still in hand as he now talks to Seokjin on the phone.Â
Heâs donned in a pair of jeans and plain white shirt with a baseball cap on, a casual ensemble that still has you melting because of how comfortable he looks. The thin, silver chain is an unexpected accessory, and he said itâs something heâs always had but rarely wore. But upon seeing your satisfied look, he said heâll wear it from now on. The way he smirked at you plays in your head, and with how heâs got his legs splayed out and his hand behind his head, you start to feel that familiar knot in your belly. You turn around before you get tempted to do anything. And while youâre free to do so, some self-discipline wouldnât hurt.Â
Youâre not pressed for time so you let him continue with his call. Based on what you hear, heâs updating his best friends about what happened last night, and his groans tell you that theyâre probably teasing him about it. Affectionately, you assume.Â
You decide to water your plants while waiting. It's been days. Some leaves have started to dry up so you remove those, too. Youâre focused on what youâre doing and jerk in surprise when you feel Jungkookâs arms wrap around your waist. But you settle in his hold immediately, leaning on his chest and humming in contentment now that your plants look better and more alive.Â
âSorry I kept you waiting,â he says, his chin resting on your shoulder now.Â
âItâs alright,â you reply. âHow did the talk with your parents go? And your friends?â
âAll fine. My parents want to have dinner and the guys want to go to a club,â he sighs. âBut I said youâre my priority right now and not them, so they just have to wait until Iâm free, which probably wonât be for a while since we have plans and all.â
âAnd what are those plans?â You turn around and ask.Â
âI donât know, weâll just have to make them.â
You playfully shake your head and lay your hands on his chest, a habit you think youâre going to develop with the way he constantly pulls you close.Â
âWe could make plans with them,â you say softly. âNot unless you, uh, donât want to.â
âDonât be silly,â he frowns. âOf course I do. I just donât want to impose and have you spend time with my family and friends if you donât want to.â
âWhy wonât I want to?â You frown back. âPlus, thatâs part of being with you, isnât it? Spending time with the people you care about?â
âIt is,â he smiles. âSo, uh, what do you think about next Saturday? We can have dinner with my parents then go out with the guys and then say weâre tired so we can leave early?â
âThatâs⊠thatâs quite the plan,â you laugh.Â
âOr we could just reschedule time with Seokjin and Taehyung. Theyâll understand.â
âIâm fine with that, too,â you nod. âAnd then maybe we could also, uh, make the trip to Daegu and I can properly introduce you to my family?âÂ
âThat sounds good,â he nods. âAnd what about your friends? That is, if they want to spend time with me. And by they, I mean Jimin.â
You snort in response to Jungkook's statement, which heâs not wrong for making. The last time they were in the same room together, you felt the tension through the roof.Â
âHeâs just being protective, as he should,â you explain. âHeâs seen me date men who turned out to be shitty and he just wants to make sure Iâm treated well. And that Iâm happy. And I am, so heâll be fine.â
âAre you sure thatâs all?â Jungkook questions.
âYes,â you assure him. âWeâve been best friends for 20 years. Itâs natural to be cautious about people. At least he is because Iâm clearly not.â
âOkay,â he hums. âWeâll make plans, then. And then we can go to one of our properties in Gwangju. And Jeju. And anywhere you want to go to. We could fly to Japan or Europe or wherever, really.â
âAlright, one at a time,â you chuckle, the mix of excitement and nervousness filling you up. âLetâs not forget that I have a budget and limited leaves.â
âWhich weâll work out,â he says, adding that heâs definitely not going to make you spend a single cent. âBut we could also just stay in or go to a park or watch movies. Anything, really.â
Thereâs a sadness in his eyes that you recognize, like this admission of longing that he doesnât want to acknowledge. You soften as you caress his face, wanting him to know that whatever it is he wants to do, you want to do all of those with him, too.
âI⊠I donât know when the last time was that I actually looked forward to the weekend,â he admits. âI didnât actually like it, only because I was forced to not work. And I always wanted to work. It⊠it made me forget how lonely I really was.â
He looks away, as he reveals a part of him that heâs never shared to anyone.Â
It wasnât always like this. His teenage years were filled with holidays with his parents and weekends in their scenic properties despite the distance he felt from them. But he couldnât wait to grow up, to be independent and live life his way. He studied hard and by the time he was in university, he was working at the company already, eager to learn and earn money, something he continued to do when he did his postgraduate studies in Singapore.Â
But he had Chaerin then, and his life was filled with excitement and happiness. There was always something to do, something to look forward to, until he lost it all and became a shell of who he was. There was so much void within that continued to get larger the more he spent time on his own after the breakup.Â
He worked even harder because he didnât know what to do with his time. He bought useless things because he didnât know what to do with his money. He went to clubs and slept around because he didnât want to be alone with his thoughts, only so he wouldnât be faced with the reality that he wasnât happy, that all the things he wanted - a sense of purpose, a hand to hold - were out of his reach.
The Arts Center was his saving grace. It gave his life meaning, as he sought meaning through it. And thatâs what allowed him to be here with you. In building something for others, he realized how strong his desire for intimacy was, and how much he wanted to experience the world with someone, to share in its joys and difficulties, to learn what more he could give and get from it. And youâre everything tangible that used to just be a blur to him.
In building something for you, he realized how much he wants you to be happy, how much he wants you to always be safe. And he gets to be that person who makes it happen.Â
Itâs barely been a day but he supposes itâs why he canât get enough of you, why he constantly reaches out, needing to know youâre next to him and not some image he conjured in his mind. Itâs why he wants to make all these plans, so he could experience all the things heâs wanted but was always afraid to feel because of the fear of losing it one day.Â
âThere are so many places I want to explore and I want us to do them together,â you whisper, tilting his chin so he faces you again. âThere are all these things I want to try and experience, even some things I usually do on my own that I want to share with you. I get you, Jungkook. I let days pass me by. All I did was look forward to something I didnât even know. Now I know what I want, and that includes having them with you.â
His eyes soften as you utter the words, with your fingers tracing his face as if to see if heâs real, too, and if happiness is something that you can finally touch.Â
âYou donât have to feel alone anymore,â you continue. âAnd I donât have to feel that way, either, because youâre there. I want you to always be there.â
âI will,â he smiles, gently pressing his lips onto yours. âAnd we can do whatever you want.â
âOkay. A ghost tour is on my list,â you say, thinking to lighten the mood.
âIt is, huh?â He laughs. âI mean, sure. I can definitely protect you.â
âYou mean, I can protect you,â you counter.Â
â___, Iâm scared of thunder, not ghosts. I think Iâll be fine,â he chuckles.Â
âAnd Iâm scared of the living, not the dead, so Iâll be fine, too,â you point out. âIâve always wanted to try it but I didnât want a spirit to latch onto me because I was alone.â
âI donât think thatâs how it goes,â he playfully shakes his head. âBut sure, we can do that. Anything else?â
âHmm. Something outdoors? I⊠I really liked it when we were at your lake house and we sat on the rocks by the stream,â you reminisce. âIt was very peaceful and it was just nice being out there.â
âDid you like it when you had your arms around me during the ATV ride, too?â He smirks. âBecause I did.â
âIt was bumpy,â you pout. âI should drive it next time and you can be my passenger.â
âGotta learn how to drive first,â he teases. âHow come you never learned?â
âBecause it didnât seem practical to learn and not have a car to drive,â you reason. âIâll just forget it so I never bothered. Probably when Iâm in my forties and I can afford to buy one.â
âOr I can get you one.â
He looks at you like heâs serious, and he probably is. So you draw the line before he thinks itâs okay for him to do that.
âYou wonât. I will not accept it,â you say sternly. âAnd you will not buy me anything of that kind.â
âFine. But I can buy you other things like jewelry and clothes andââ
âJungkook, you know I donât like you for your money, right?â You frown. âI know weâre leagues apart in terms of wealth and Iââ
âI know,â he says, pulling open your crossed arms and wrapping them around him again. âIâm just saying that I want to buy you things because I like you. Itâs⊠just a way for me to show you how I feel. No cars, I promise.â
âGood. Iâm not gonna be able to drive it anyway,â you laugh.
âI can always teach you,â he says. âItâs still a good skill to have, you know?â
âHmm, maybe one of these days,â you smile.Â
âSo in the meantime, I can get you something else. Maybe something for work? Please?â
He uses his doe-eyes to convince you, and it doesnât take much. You suppose that for someone whoâs not always good with words, buying you things is a way for him to make up for it. He built you a library, after all. Youâre not always good with words, either, but perhaps accepting what he gives is a way for you to show him how you feel, too, among other things.Â
âFine,â you give in. âJust one thing.â
You find yourself hours later in a boutique shop on a quiet street in Incheon.Â
You and Jungkook agreed that doing your shopping in the neighboring city will keep you from running into people that you donât want knowing about your relationship at this point, such as the management support team or anyone else, really.Â
You went to a shopping center after the hour-long drive. You opted for mid-range brands that offered comfortable basics, stocking up on slacks and tops to match the blazers and coats that you already have. You picked some flowy skirts and dresses, too, while Jungkook convinced you to get some of the statement pieces that caught your eye.Â
He was an engaged companion, carrying your basket as you walked around and then finding you when you wandered too far. He gave approving nods whenever you showed something to him, surprising you when heâd comment that you already have a similar colored top. He looked embarrassed then, when he explained that you had outfits that stuck with him. You admitted that so did you, with his charcoal and navy suits as your favorites.Â
He sported that shy smile again, a sight you never thought youâd one day be spoiled with. It always gave you a kind of comfort that youâve never felt before, and you suppose itâs why you wanted to keep seeing it. Doing this with him today has given you that same feeling, especially when heâd look at you satisfied and say that he really likes how the outfit looks on you.Â
You passed on the premium outlet shopping center, stating your case to Jungkook that youâre not one to wear luxury brands to a place as constant as your workplace. And while you agreed to him buying you something, you said you preferred it to be one of quality, and not just because it was expensive. Which is why youâre currently in this local boutique store selling the prettiest shoes youâve ever seen. Â
The name sounds familiar, and you remember going through some fashion magazines at Taehyungâs shop and seeing this listed on a best new brands list. Deservingly so, it seems, as the collection before you boasts of a variety of simple and statement designs that look soft and comfortable, too. Youâre particularly drawn to the colored ones, since you could never wear those styles before. Your recommended outfits only allowed basic and muted colors, so your black and nude pumps were your go-to. And while youâll still be wearing those, you definitely want a pair that would stand out. Or two.Â
âSee anything you like?â Jungkook breaks through your thoughts.Â
You turn to him with a sparkle in your eyes as you nod shyly.Â
âSee anything you really like?â He chuckles as he walks towards you and you nod again.Â
âTell me,â he urges.
You get the ones that caught your eye - a pair of orange satin pumps and these olive green suede heels with ankle straps. You love the hues and how theyâll contrast some of your neutral-colored outfits, but right now, you donât know which one you want more.
âI canât choose between these two,â you say, scrunching your eyebrows.Â
âEasy. We get both of them,â Jungkook replies as he asks the staff to get your size.Â
He stands in front of you as you try each pair, his eyes following you as you walk around the store and check yourself in the mirror. He softens at your smile as you look at your reflection. Thereâs wonder in it, and heâs glad that heâs able to give this to you, of all things. Itâs cliche but those shoes will take you to places; he looks forward to being next to you when they do.Â
He giggles when you wear one of each pair and keep turning positions to see how you look in them.Â
âHey, Iâm serious,â he says. âWe can get both of them. You can even get more.â
âBut I donât want you to spoil me,â you pout.Â
âBut I will,â he insists, standing in front of you now. âI liked the smile you had earlier. I want to keep making you smile like that. And no, I donât think youâre being materialistic or anything,â he adds before you unnecessarily defend yourself. âTheyâre pretty things and I want to give them to you.â
âFine,â you pout again. âDo you like them, at least?â
âTheyâre nice,â he compliments.
âJust nice?â You frown. âThatâs what you said the first time you saw me in a dress.âÂ
Your teasing smile makes him laugh, but it somehow comforts him. He remembers that day clearly, when you accompanied him to Taehyungâs shop to fit the suits made for him, and you tried on the gowns that his best friend made for you, too. Seeing you in that burgundy attire made his heart drop, and thatâs whatâs been happening every single time that he sees you all dressed up. He didnât think youâd remember but apparently, it stuck with you.Â
âItâs not like I could say that you looked stunning then, now could I?â He cocks an eyebrow.Â
âSo thatâs what you thought, huh?â You nibble your lower lip.
âAlways,â he responds. âItâs been hard keeping myself together ever since.â
The heat rushes to your cheeks at his confession, and for all the times you cursed yourself for being unprofessional for finding him attractive, you at least donât feel too bad now that he thought the same.Â
âThat makes both of us,â you smirk, liking how he playfully shakes his head and turns away.
He wants to kiss you right now but he knows itâs not the time nor place.Â
âSo, both of these shoes, then?â He confirms. âAre you sure you only want two?â
âYes. Youâve spoiled me enough already,â you state.Â
He concedes, even if he really wants to buy you more. He wants to shower you with so many things but he doesnât want to overwhelm you with that side of him just yet, so heâll take things slow for now.Â
He walks with you to the counter where he pays for the shoes. He sees the sparkle in your eyes when he takes the shopping bags from the staff and thereâs something so wholesome about how you look that has his insides warming up.Â
âYou like them, too, right?â You ask as you both walk out the store to head back to the car.Â
âOf course,â he hums. âTheyâre pretty and you like them. Plus, I saw the reviews that said the shoes are comfortable and sturdy. And you need that. I canât have you tripping yourself because of unstable heels and then falling into the arms of some man again. I wonât be there to catch you anymore.â
âHey,â you pull his arm to get his attention, frowning at him when he turns to you at the reminder of that Arts Center incident. âThat was one time.â
âYou trip on yourself when youâre on the ladder, too,â he points out. âAnd Iâm always there breaking your fall.â
âAnd why are you?â You cock an eyebrow. âYou always had your eyes on me, didnât you, Mr. Jeon?â
âCouldnât help it, even if I wasnât supposed to,â he says. âI just found myself always looking out for you. And you just happened to be tripping a few of those times.â
You laugh in response because heâs not wrong, but itâs also a way for you to tell him itâs okay. You suppose you werenât the only one paying attention because he seemed to do that a lot with you. And the more you think about it, the more you realize that the feelings you once doubted were sincere have been present all this time. But he held himself back, just like you did. He tried not to cross the line because he knew it wouldnât be right until you did, and all he wanted was to keep you close so he could be there for you. Because the moment he knew what was keeping you there, he made the difficult decision of letting you go.Â
You smile at the thought, learning now that when it comes to you, Jungkook is attentive. Heâs protective and he wants to make you happy, to shower you with gifts, to make you experience good things in life because itâs his way of expressing his feelings. You may be starting a new job that requires you to be apart from him, but in his own ways, heâs still looking out for you.Â
You want to carry him with you as you take on a new challenge, too. And youâll look back on today as a way for you to do that. Itâs in the shoes that he bought for you; itâs in his company and patience as you went around looking for clothes earlier; itâs in the experience of doing something together.Â
A sigh of relief escapes you as you settle in the passenger seat. Itâs been tiring but also really fun, and you smile again at the thought of being able to do this for yourself.Â
Since your first visit at Rkive Publishing, youâve been envisioning how youâd look and how your days were going to be. It filled you with excitement seeing that image of you in your mind - dressed in clothes that made you feel comfortable but powerful, in an environment that was challenging but exhilarating, in a place that didnât make you feel stuck or constrained. It truly feels like a new beginning, and you didnât realize that the simple act of shopping could make you see yourself differently, that it could make your approach to work feel more relaxed.
âI didnât know you enjoyed shopping that much,â Jungkook says. âGuess weâll have to do that again.â
âI didnât know, too,â you chuckle. âBut I think itâs more than that,â you turn to him with a soft smile. âI donât think Iâve ever really shopped for a full wardrobe before. All my office clothes were hand-me-downs from my mom when I started working and I just gradually bought my own over the years. But now I get to buy all these new things for what I feel like is a new chapter in my life, you know? It sounds silly but Iâm pretty sentimental about it.â
âItâs not silly,â he replies. âYouâre doing something that you chose, that youâre happy with. That means everything.â
His eyes soften and you realize that you havenât really talked about your resignation. And with all your excitement for your new job, the last thing you want is for you to think that you felt burdened by working for him.
âJungkook, I⊠Iâm sorry for resigning when I did,â you start, earning you a shake of his head. âI donât want you to think that I wasnât happy working for the company. Because I had great moments, and you were one of them,â you explain.Â
He nods as he takes in your words, and you take his hand to tell him you mean them.Â
âIt was hard at first but I stuck it out because it felt ungrateful of me to leave,â you continue. âThings got better when I was under Hoseok but there was always that feeling that I didnât deserve everything, even if I was giving all of myself to the job. And that was all on me. I realized that I was the one who couldnât move on from my past. And I just constantly felt stuck. Working hard was all I knew how to do until I didnât know myself anymore but you⊠You helped me realize what I was missing. You helped me realize what I could be.â
âHow?â He asks.
âThe Arts Center,â you say. âLearning about why you wanted to build it showed me that itâs what I wanted, too - to create meaning, to connect people to something, to experience something tangible that could stay with us. You were so passionate about it and I wanted to be passionate about something just like you. And Iâm sorry I had to leave because of that. And well, I also really like you and it didnât feel right to stay any longer after what happened.â
âI didnât realize that it meant that much to you,â he responds, caressing your hand now.Â
âIt did. It still does. Being there last night made me feel so many things, especially the library,â you say. âI think Iâll need time to really soak everything in.â
âWe can do that tomorrow,â he suggests. âItâll be open until late all weekend and we can go around if you want.â
âIâd really like that,â you smile at him.Â
He smiles back but thereâs still that tinge of sadness in his eyes, and you continue looking at him to urge him to say what he wants to say.Â
âI shouldâve asked you why you wanted to leave instead of asking you to stay,â he sighs. âI probably wouldâve understood. I mean I⊠Iâm working for my family and itâs all Iâll ever do. Iâve lost myself in it, too. I know itâs not the same but I guess thatâs why constructing the Arts Center mattered that much to me. It was different. I felt like it was the only way I could find meaning in what I was doing, something that went beyond my duties to my family. I⊠I learned what I wanted to be for someone, too, because of you. So I understand why you have to do this for yourself, ___,â he turns to you with an assuring look. âAfter everything settled, I knew that leaving would be the only way for you to be truly happy because then, you get to do something for yourself. And I just want you to know that I really want this for you, too. Iâm just glad I get to be next to you like this.â
You feel your eyes turn glassy. You hadnât realized just how much you needed to hear that from him. And given all the new experiences and challenges youâll be facing, having someone to hold your hand and tell you that things will be okay makes it more meaningful. You wonât be going through things on your own anymore. And you get to tell him that he wonât, either.Â
His smile tells you that he understands, and itâs one that you mirror.
âYour new boss seems nice,â Jungkook says as he looks back on the road. âHe called me one day and asked about you.â
âNamjoon did say he spoke with you,â you respond. âAnd yes, heâs very kind. He rambles a lot but heâs just very passionate about books and literature. Iâm sure Iâll learn so much from him.â
âThatâs good. Itâs a new industry so itâs important to have a mentor like him,â Jungkook hums. âJust, you know, donât trip and fall into his arms or something.â
âThat is not going to happen,â you laugh. âAre you jealous?â You nudge him. âAre you the jealous type?â
âNo,â he frowns.Â
âGood. You have nothing to be worried about, okay? He has nice dimples but I like yours better,â you tease.Â
He pouts at you but you just kiss his cheek to appease him, your own affection surprising you. You find yourself constantly showing it to him, wanting him to know how you feel instead of words you donât think youâll be able to say.Â
âAre you the jealous type?â He asks now.
âI actually donât know,â you wonder.Â
Your past relationships werenât really exclusive so you didnât have a reason to be jealous.Â
âWe should go to a club and see,â he says.Â
âHey,â you whine. âAll the women will flock to you.â
âAnd who says the men wonât flock to you?â He arches an eyebrow. âYouâre the one that people fall for.â
âAnd youâre not?â
â___, Iâve slept with women but letâs not pretend they wanted to be with me,â he chuckles.Â
âMaybe they did, and you just never gave them a chance,â you reason.
âWell, I never let them stay long enough to know,â he shrugs. âItâs not something I do, and itâs not something I ask of them.â
But you asked me to, you donât say. You remember the look of rejection in his eyes that night at his office and how you turned him away. Perhaps to him, youâre also someone he was willing to crawl out of his walls for, and for a time, he thought you didnât want him enough.Â
You promise yourself that youâll make it a point to show him that you always do, whether itâs through words or actions but especially through your way of opening up yourself to him completely.Â
You nudge his hand thatâs still in yours, prompting him to look at you.Â
âIâm here to stay,â you tell him, wanting him to feel the weight of your words because you donât do that for anyone, either. âIâm not going anywhere.â
You say it almost in a whisper, like itâs a promise you want him to know youâll always keep. He lifts your hand to his lips and he kisses it, a way to let you know that heâs not going anywhere, too. Heâll keep holding your hand wherever you or he goes because he knows that right next to you is where he wants to be.
Itâs a very intimate act, and itâs barely been a day but heâs done so many of those already with you, including expressing his honest and sentimental feelings. He supposes itâs all the time heâs held back. Or maybe all the years that he kept himself from feeling and showing any of that.Â
But you have each other to share those with now and he hopes that however he chooses to show them to you, youâll understand and accept them and like you said, youâll stay and not go anywhere.Â
You spend the rest of the car ride back to Seoul talking about the posts and articles being written about the Arts Center. You go on social media and read them out to Jungkook, warming at how softly he smiles with every compliment from the visitors and artists. Even if you werenât there during the ceremony last night, youâre glad that youâre at least able to celebrate with him from this day forward.Â
You arrive at a supermarket and let Jungkook take the lead. But while heâs buying to fill up his fridge and pantry, heâs taken it upon himself to make sure you have everything you need and want, too.Â
He picks up the coffee pods and grounds that you mentioned you like. He asks you for your preferred snacks and desserts on top of the chocopie that he gets boxes of. He lets you choose your skincare and bath products. He grabs containers of side dishes and an array of meat and vegetables, as well as a sack of rice. There are other ingredients he gets and before you know it, youâve got a cart filled to the brim and a satisfied man pushing it to the counter.Â
He pays for his purchases and you realize just how much heâs actually bought.
âAre you throwing a party that I donât know of?â You tease, as he hauls all the groceries in his trunk. âThatâs a lot of shopping for one person.â
âI, uh, I was hoping to have you stay over during the weekends,â he says shyly. âI mean, we can also stay at your place if youâre okay with us being there. But I just thought about buying a lot of what we want when we stay in and stuff.â
âAre you bribing me with food so that Iâll spend more nights with you?â You cock an eyebrow.
âYes? Well, Iâd like to think Iâm good company, too,â he chuckles. âAnd that youâd, uh, want to spend time with me. Is it too much?â
âOf course not,â you say. âItâs sweet actually, how youâre making a space for me in your home. And you donât have to bribe me, you know? The place is good, the companyâs good,â and whispering in his ear, you add, âthe sex is good. I⊠Iâd like to spend time with you, too.â
âThatâs comforting,â he laughs as you both head inside the car. âAlthough Iâd prefer for that last one to be more than good.â
âHmm. Good thing you have tonight to show me, then,â you teasingly smile.Â
He groans as he playfully shakes his head, this bold version of you still flustering him. But he wants to tease back, so he turns to you and pulls your face close to him. He gives you a deep kiss before booping your nose with his.
âJust make sure to keep up, yeah?â He answers.Â
âRude,â you gasp, earning you a laugh. âItâs not my fault you donât get tired.â
âItâs not my fault that you do.â
Your pout makes him want to erase it with a kiss so thatâs what he does again, and he likes that he can do this over and over, as many times as he wants.Â
âIâm kidding. Iâll do whatever you want,â he smiles. âJust as long as it makes you feel good.â
Youâre only able to nod now, not wanting to provoke him any further because another word of him telling you what he can do is gonna cause you to spiral.Â
The sun is still out by the time you arrive at his penthouse with everything you bought for the day. He insists on having your clothes washed - a perk he has as owner of the building, and you give in. He says itâs so theyâre all ready for you next week, and youâre once again reminded of this thoughtful side of him. Sure, money helps, but you suppose itâs easy for a rich man to just think of what conveniences him but not others. In many ways, heâs shown you that heâs more than that. Youâre able to see it all up close now, and you canât help but like him even more.Â
After he hands your bag of clothes to the butler, he heads to the kitchen where he says heâs going to prepare dinner. You follow him and look on curiously as he brings out a few of the ingredients you bought earlier.
âWhatâs on the menu?â You ask, sitting on the counter right next to where heâs got his work space laid out.
âBuckwheat noodles with my special sauce,â he answers. âAnd some boiled pork.â
âThat sounds delicious,â you hum. âAnd here I thought you hire people to cook for you.â
âCanât really call someone over at 2AM to make me dinner, can I?â He laughs.Â
âWhy would you have dinner at 2AM?!â
âBecause itâs how I am,â he shrugs. âI mean, sometimes I have dinner out. Some nights Iâm so tired from work so I take a nap and wake up at odd hours, or Iâd just work all night and realize I havenât eaten so I make something then. Meat is easy to grill, noodles are quick to make, but for you, Iâm making special versions.â
âI feel special already,â you giggle. âBut thatâs not healthy, Jungkook,â you turn serious. âMeal time is meal time and rest time is rest time. You always work so hard, you need to take a break and not overdo yourself.â
âI know. You used to tell me that all the time,â he smiles softly. âIt was nice to hear, and I listened to you. I guess those were the only times when I let myself take a breath. You were pretty stubborn about it.â
âBecause you were a hard-head about it,â you frown. âSo much for being protective of me when you couldnât even look out for yourself.â
âI know, thatâs why you were there,â he points out. âAnd you were the same, so thatâs why I was there for you, too. We, uh, I guess we complemented each other that way.âÂ
âI guess,â you smile now.Â
Thereâs some sadness in that thought, though, at how you both went on years just focusing on your respective jobs individually and not having much you share with others. Sure, you had your friends and so did he, but in the silence of your own homes, you lived through every day just waiting for the next, not knowing what to look forward to about it.Â
You suppose thatâs what happens when you share only the most shallow parts of yourself to someone - your body, your time, your energy - but even those were limited. Now, you get to feel what itâs like to share more of them, in ways that require more. But youâre willing to do all that, and you can see that so is he.  Â
Jungkook boils the pork in some spices and says that itâll take some time. He gestures towards the balcony where you see the sun about to set. Youâve never seen it from this high, and he says that he hasnât watched it from here in months because heâs been getting home late. His office doesnât offer this same view.Â
You head out and take a seat on the couch where he follows. He positions himself next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer until youâve got your legs on his lap and your head on his chest. Being with him like this, you feel comfortable again; you feel safe.Â
The sky is beautiful and itâs another version of it that you get to share with him. You know thereâll be more of this that youâll have, and youâll keep this in your memory just like all the other times that you did.Â
His free hand draws patterns on your knee and you try to decipher what they are, recalling those days of watching him doodle on his leather notebook and wondering whatâs on his mind.Â
Itâs something you ask him and there's a beat of silence before he answers.
âThereâs a lot of things I think about,â he says. âMost times I donât know how to make sense of them or express them so I just draw whatever I feel like. Theyâre mostly figures and structures because they at least make sense to me even if my feelings donât.â
âWhat about now? Do your feelings make sense?â
âA little bit,â he hums, but he assures you itâs not a bad thing. âYou always felt familiar. I think thatâs why I was so hesitant to get to know you and why I felt like I had to keep my distance. It wasnât right to feel that way for my assistant. I know now why that was. We crossed paths a long time ago and I guess we made each other feel something that we couldnât find in others or that we couldnât find ourselves. Itâs familiar but itâs all new. Isnât it contradictory?â
âMaybe. But it also could be that we felt something like that before and we lost it along the way. And we met again and so weâre feeling it again, but in a different way,â you try to explain. âFamiliar but new. Do you doubt it?â
âNot at all,â he shakes his head. âI just couldnât help but think about it because this version of myself feels different but itâs still me.âÂ
âI get you. Iâm not really like this, either. Iâm not fond of affection. Iâm not this giggly or this⊠honest or this bold. Iâm terrified of many things so Iâm also not this brave but you⊠you bring all that out of me, Jungkook. And it feels really good.â
âIâm not this honest, too. I donât know where my words come from,â he chuckles.Â
âI was about to say that youâre able to express your feelings just fine,â you smile.Â
âThatâs barely scratching the surface,â he says. âThereâs still a lot I donât know how to say.â
Regret is one of them, Jungkook thinks. And guilt and fear and an overwhelming joy and clarity that he canât fully express. Thereâs still hesitation somehow but vulnerability, too. Thereâs a feeling of inadequacy and a desire to give you everything he can.
âMe, too,â you sigh. âWe can always just keep showing it to each other in different ways. I know thatâs not always easy, but we can⊠we can keep trying. I held so much of what I felt for months and Iâm just glad I donât have to do that anymore.â
âI held back for a year,â he blurts, surprising you. Your questioning eyes urge him to continue. âI⊠I thought you were pretty. And you put me in my place, youâre honest and caring, youâre so good at what you do, youâre⊠someone I wanted to be around, even if it didnât seem like it. And Iâll always be sorry for how I treated you.â
âI have a lot of shortcomings, too, Jungkook,â you admit. âI judged you before I met you because you never smiled during the times I saw you. And then I constantly compared you to Hoseok and I shouldnât have.â
âWell, look at me now. I donât think Iâve ever smiled this much,â he chuckles. âBut itâs okay. We⊠we were getting used to each other.â
âWe were. And I⊠I like seeing you smile. There would be nights when Iâd fall asleep thinking about it,â you confess.Â
âHere I thought I was the only one doing that,â he laughs.Â
âWeâre so ridiculous,â you laugh back. âWeâve said too much. Now we can kiss.â
âYou like doing that, huh?â He smirks, pulling you to sit on top of him now.Â
You shift on his lap and find a position that has your heart racing. You moan when his hands guide you in grinding against his slowly hardening length. And he watches you move before his eyes flit to meet yours, the desire heightening and the tension building.
âI do, very much,â you whisper, bending down to graze your nose against his before you kiss him.Â
It starts off tender but with the feel of him underneath you and his tongue amorously entangling with yours, it gets rough soon enough. Youâre thankful that youâre seated closer to the door, leaving you less exposed than if you were near the railings. Itâs enough privacy that heâs able to sneak his hand under your scrunched up dress without you minding, and you moan louder when he pulls your bra so he could flick your nipple thatâs clearly screaming to be touched.Â
You return the favor, untucking his shirt so you could touch his chest, too. It reminds you of how youâd mapped this out last night, the tautness of it making you imagine all the ways you could pleasure him there. But you settle with your nails grazing against his smooth torso this time, knowing you have all of tonight and perhaps tomorrow to do it.Â
âFuck,â he mumbles against your lips. âBaby, weâre gonna have to take this inside,â he says, although he doesnât stop nor let you go. He continues to kiss you and drag his hands all over your back.
âWe should,â you say, not stopping either.Â
It takes a few more nibbles on each otherâs lips before you finally pull away, heaving in pleasure and wanting more. But you remove yourself from him before you get into it again. Walking back inside, he surprises you with another squeeze of your ass, prompting you to turn to him.Â
âYou like doing that, huh?â You repeat his words.Â
âI do, very much,â he hums. He hugs you from behind and says, âthis, too,â as he nuzzles your neck.
You only laugh in response but deep down, thereâs this warmth you feel at how much affection heâs giving you and how much youâre accepting and returning it. You werenât big on intimacy with your exes. You werenât the type to hold their hand or cling to them or caress them outside of sex. They werenât natural for you, and you suppose those kinds of acts required more openness and emotional closeness that you didnât feel for them.
But with Jungkook, itâs as if itâs all you want to do, and it seems to be the same for him. You didnât realize how holding his hand could be so assuring, or how feeling him wrap around you could relieve you of your tiredness, or how kissing him could make time stop yet you still feel thereâs not enough of it when youâre with him.Â
And as he stands by the stove, pan frying dumplings for your appetizer while the pork continues to boil, all you want to do is watch him be.Â
Youâve always admired him for his dedication to his craft. Youâve sat through countless meetings, watched him draft blueprints and plans and present them, and listened to him put together ideas and designs. Heâs creative, rational, and very smart, and it always impressed you how much technical knowledge he has. He always had such confidence in his abilities and that also made him very attractive to you.Â
But seeing him in a domestic setting in his casual clothes while cooking your dinner ignites something else within you. Itâs this desire to see and experience all sides of him, and to be welcomed in every nook of his big heart.Â
He arranges the dumplings on a plate and mixes the dipping sauce, then places the dish on the counter for both of you to enjoy. He takes a piece, blows on it, then feeds it to you, and you laugh to yourself because this is something that you used to tell Hajoon that you could do on your own so he doesnât have to. But with Jungkook doing it now, he triggers a swarm of butterflies in your belly that has you giggling.Â
He just smiles, the warmth in his eyes telling you that this is something he wants to do for you and you let him. Heâs told you he wants to take care of you and you want that, too. You want to show him that you can do it as well.
Jungkook gets a bowl and starts making the sauce while he boils the buckwheat noodles. Itâs something he came up with one late evening, adding perilla oil and egg yolk to the different condiments he had on stock. You feed him dumplings while he mixes the ingredients, which he eventually pours over the noodles then sprinkles seaweed on top of it. It looks creamy and delicious, and partnered with the boiled pork that he plates on a wooden board, your mouth starts to water.
Itâs all surprisingly delicious, as you tell him that you didnât think that just putting a bunch of sauces together would create something that good. You enjoy dinner over beer and then insist that youâll clean up while he takes a bath.Â
Itâs an hour later when you exit his bathroom, your heart skipping a beat at seeing him sitting on the bed, his back across the frame with the covers over his legs while he scrolls through his phone. He doesnât have a shirt on, leaving his toned upper body in full display for you to stare at. Youâve already seen this last night; ran your hands all over them, even, but somehow you know itâll always take your breath away.Â
He looks up when he senses youâre back, and he smiles seeing you donned in one of his oversized shirts. He likes you in his clothes. Thereâs something so domestic about it, even if heâll end up taking them off of you anyway.Â
And thatâs what he does, as he moves to sit on the edge of the bed while you remain standing in front of him. He caresses the sides of your thighs while he looks up at you, before pulling up your shirt that you help him remove.Â
You giggle when his lips immediately plant themselves on your torso, where he kisses and sucks the soft plane of flesh that has you moaning in pleasure. His hands travel around - kneading your ass, sliding up then fondling your breasts, before theyâre removing your underwear and then cupping your bare cunt.
âJungkook, baby,â you whine, feeling the sensation all over your body. âWant you, please.â
Itâs the words he loves hearing from you, knowing the desire comes from somewhere deep. Itâs because youâve allowed him to a place that no oneâs ever been to before, and itâs a place he wants to stay in for as long as youâll let him.Â
And he takes it to heart. He wants to feel you feel good; he wants to hear it, to breathe it, to let your pleasure course through his body and let it linger, and thatâs the only way heâll feel good. Itâs not just about chasing his own high like it used to be. With you, itâs always more.
He switches places with you, lays you on the edge of the bed while he kneels on the floor for that angle that lets him taste all of you. He laps you up and he feels your clit pulsate against his tongue, your breathy curses complementing the way your body screams for him. He increases the pressure to build you up then slows down to prolong it.Â
You seek him. Your hands pull him forward, your cunt thrusts against his face, you yell out his name, and when you come, his lips are what you want all over you, all over again.Â
Youâre eager. The short second it takes for him to stand up, youâre pulling his boxers down and stroking his length; youâre swallowing him whole before he could even catch a breath. But itâs everything he wants, as your warmth coats his aching cock and he pushes into you, hearing your obscene sounds as you take him in.Â
âYou feel so good,â he grunts, your tongue swirling around his slit. âFuck, baby, just like that.â
He manages to open his eyes, and the sight of you eager to please him sends shivers down his spine. You fondle his balls, you play with your breast, you thrust against nothing while you moan with your mouth full of him. He softens for a while, tucking the damp strands of hair behind your ear, before he pulls away then guides you to flip over with your hands and knees on the bed.
Youâre able to take a breath while he puts on his condom, but you're already dazed, your mind completely hazy from everything that Jungkook makes you feel.Â
The way he fills you up is heavenly. He hits your deepest spot, and the pace of his movement has him grazing every inch of your walls. He pushes your waist down with his every thrust, making both of you feel the sensation in a mind-numbing way.
Your knees are trembling but you donât mind. Your knuckles are probably turning white from how hard youâre gripping his sheets but itâs your only anchor for now. Your neck is straining and youâre breathless as he relentlessly bucks his hip against you but you donât want him to stop.Â
He switches it up, both his hands on your waist now to keep it steady while he drags himself in and out of you. You clench around him and push against his movements, and it has him moaning curses with your name. His pace becomes erratic, and thatâs how you know heâs close.
âTouch yourself, baby,â he instructs you. âCome with me. Fuck, fuck, I want you to come.â
You do as youâre told, reaching down to stroke your clit while he pounds you from behind. And when you hear his deep breaths and a prolonged moan, you quicken your pace until youâre coming once again.
He pants, all the energy being drained out of him, but you still feel him gently kiss your shoulders, then your spine, then your ass cheeks before he lays in bed next to you.Â
He breathes heavily but he manages a soft smile that mirrors yours, and all you want to do is wrap him in your arms until you both fall asleep.Â
âSex just good?â He teasingly asks.Â
âWere you trying to make a point?â You cock an eyebrow.
âMaybe,â he huffs.
You shift your position, your arm now supporting your body as you lay on your side. Your hand traces his bare torso, which still rises and falls from the ordeal, and he hums in satisfaction.Â
âDid you like that?â You whisper in his ear, biting your lip in anticipation of his answer.Â
âUh-huh,â he breathes out. âFuck, you feel so good. You take me so well, baby. That was justâŠâ
âI want to keep making you feel good, Jungkook,â you moan, liking how heâs at a loss for words. âAnd I want you to keep fucking me like that.â
Your vulgar words contrast the tender way you graze your nose against his neck, and it somehow makes his mind even more hazy. Youâre everything he wants, and heâll do everything to keep you next to him.Â
âI will,â he promises, turning to his side to face you. âIâll do that and more.â
And he does, as he cleans you up and tucks you under the covers with his arms around your body. Youâre cradled in his, and the clarity you feel after such a mind-numbing experience is so satisfying.Â
You suppose this is what intimacy is - feeling that high and then landing on a soft field of everything beautiful, and you decide that this is the only place youâll ever want to be in. Jungkook smiles at you and you just know he feels the same way you do.
You wake up with Jungkook next to you this time, your limbs entangled with his under the comforts of his soft blanket. Your eyes flutter open and you see him propped up on his tattooed arm, smiling at you.
âWere you just watching me sleep?â You mumble.
âMaybe,â he teasingly shrugs. âItâs nice to see you resting well.â
âItâs your sheets,â you say, earning you a laugh.
âGuess I know what to spoil you with next time,â he winks.Â
âWhat time is it? And why arenât you working out?â You ask, knowing itâs how he always starts his day.Â
â11,â he answers. âIâm surprised I didnât wake up earlier. But when I did I just thought to sleep in with you.â
âHmm, good decision,â you grunt, your mind still half asleep but awake enough to appreciate his half naked form next to you. You scoot closer and hug him, causing him to lay flat on his back while he wraps his arm around your bare body. âThis is better than a workout.â
âWell, I kinda had mine last night,â he giggles.
And heâs not wrong. After he tucked you in bed, you spent another hour or so just talking and cuddling and that led to another round of him pounding into you from the side, and then another one with him over you. He went so hard that he had to take another shower at 3 in the morning and heâs probably done his arm and core exercises for today.Â
You donât even know how you managed to withstand all that, but you did, and you loved every second of it. You loved how he bit his lip in pleasure and how his neck veins popped out as he pounded into you intensely. You basked in his whimpered sounds and the kisses he showered you with as he came down.Â
And now youâre in his embrace, curled against him. You'd do this all day if you could.
âBut this is nice,â he hums, as he strokes your back while also combing your hair with his fingers.Â
He kisses the top of your head while you moan in satisfaction, a kind of soft pleasure that relaxes you, that makes you feel like youâre floating but also enveloped in pure warmth. Thatâs what hugging Jungkook feels like, as his toned but smooth arms wrap around you. His rough fingers tenderly roam your body, and it eases your tired being; nuzzling his neck, you feel like you could fall asleep again.Â
But youâre quite hungry and you assume that so is he, so you slowly disentangle yourself from him and say that youâll be cooking lunch when he whines.Â
âI told you Iâll make something for you this time,â you say, appeasing him with a kiss on the cheek.Â
âFine,â he concedes, stating that heâll go over the interview questions that a few reporters have sent over for him to answer while youâre cooking.Â
He follows you to wash up in the bathroom - then gives you a deeper kiss right after - and then to the kitchen. He sits on the stool by the counter while you cook rice and seafood pajeon, something you boasted about last night.Â
âBabe, you think you could help me with the questions?â He asks, catching you off guard with the pet name that he uses in a different context for the first time.Â
âSure,â you hum. âRead them out loud.â
So he does, and you spend much of the hour going through them and sipping your coffee, with him pulling you for a hug when you wander to his side.Â
You eat lunch while watching sports highlights on TV, then you spend the afternoon laughing over the variety TV show episodes that youâve missed these past weeks.Â
Itâs 5PM when you both start dressing up for dinner that heâll treat you to for your first official date, heâd said, insisting that he likes eating at nice places. He has you to share the experience with this time, and he doesnât want you to worry about expenses of any kind. He wants to eat at your favorite noodle houses, too, and thatâs a plan for another day.Â
You have on a skirt and top outfit that thankfully matches your new pumps. Once you finish putting on your makeup, you head to Jungkookâs walk-in closet to check on him, your throat drying up at seeing him in an all-black denim ensemble. Heâs sexy enough as it is, with the skinny jeans accentuating his ass and his thick thighs. But when the sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and when the buttons are undone just up to his chest to show the tank top heâs wearing underneath, sexy becomes too simplistic. Even more so when you spot the silver chain around his neck again, simple and classic but definitely dangerous.
He turns to you and takes in your look before he smirks. But just as you expect him to compliment you or even kiss you, he instead reaches out for your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours when you take it.Â
âLetâs go,â he says, leading you out.Â
He doesnât say much on the way to the car. He just gazes at you then smiles when you look at him. Itâs during the drive when he kisses your hand, surprising you, and thereâs that warmth that you feel again. You listen to the soft sounds of the radio this time, sharing in the silence the way that you used to, and itâs far from uncomfortable, especially with him thumbing your hand that heâs not letting go of.Â
You make it to the restaurant where youâre seated by the window, able to appreciate the setting of the sun. The food is delicious, with the variety of tender meats causing you to silently moan at how good it is. Thereâs an array of dishes that Jungkook orders, and you spend the rest of dinner talking about your favorite food and the other places you want to try.Â
Satisfied from the meal, you both head to the Arts Center. You know youâll have another time to fully explore. Youâll remember how the areas looked before renovation and youâll look on in pride at how different they are now. Thereâll be opportunities for you to check every exhibition and watch performances here. When the Center hosts some of the international film festival events in two months, youâll definitely attend and pay attention to the halls and other spaces. Youâll come during the day and appreciate the light coming through the windows, and youâll be able to gaze at the art installations outdoors.
But tonight, you want your focus to be on the childrenâs library, the one that Jungkook had built for you.Â
The Center closes late on weekends so you have time to savor it. You want to remember the feeling of being inside it with him, as if youâre making him part of the memory, as if youâre including him in the best moments of your childhood.Â
You finally enter the grand library, appreciating the details and the grandness of it. You ask Jungkook where the archive section is now, and what the process of moving it was like.Â
âI had to incorporate it in the main area instead of separating it,â he explains. âYoongi and I found a corner to establish its presence and then scattered the pieces beyond that, putting them in glass enclosures around the desks and on the walls. I think itâs better that way; visitors become intrigued and want to learn more, so they could go around and end up exploring more of the library.â
âThatâs strategic,â you say, appeased that there were gains in making the change. You stand at the entrance of the childrenâs space and then to him. âSo, what made you decide to do this?â
He talks about his late afternoon jog one weekend and discovering a park that reminded him of the playground that his father built for him. He tells you about all the apologies his old man couldnât make, and all the words left unsaid that Jungkook realized had held them together despite the distance and the detachment.Â
âI thought about all the times that you needed someone and I happened to be there,â he continues as he follows you around inside. âAnd then the times when I wasnât or no one was. I donât ever want you to feel alone. I thought that if Iâm not in your life anymore, I could at least build you something that would make you happy, that would protect you, the way you said your old neighborhood library made you feel.â
His words leave you speechless. You suppose that for someone not good with them, he finds the right ones when he needs to. You were overwhelmed with emotions the first time you saw this, and you couldnât fully grasp how he could make something like this for you.Â
That playground mattered to him, the way your old library did. Only he would understand how a space or a structure could comfort you, how it could take your fears away, and how that feeling could stay with you for a long time. He wanted you to continue feeling that whether you found your way back to each other or not, and now that you have, you feel that happiness and that safety even more.
You run your fingers across the murals then sit on the couch with the fluffy teddy bear next to you. The more you look around, the more you realize that this isnât just meant for children. The seating areas are big enough for adults, so is the activity space at the back. Itâs where those with child-like hearts and minds can stay - to reminisce perhaps, or to make new memories. You think youâll be doing both.
âIs it close to how your library looked?â He asks, as you both walk past the shelves and you scan the books they have.Â
âJungkook, that was a semi-rundown library that used to be someoneâs house. It had chipped wallpapers and creaking wooden floors,â you giggle. âThis is definitely much prettier but I see so much of the old one in here. The warm lights, all the colors, the different areas to read and draw and color. The paper dolls,â you squeal. âItâs⊠familiar but new, just like everything with you is. I⊠I donât know what else to say.â
âA thank you is fine,â he smiles, pulling you close to him. Youâre behind one of the shelves, and with no one else here this late Sunday evening, he wraps his arms around your waist. âI wouldnât mind a kiss, too.â
âYou deserve more than all that,â you whisper, kissing him softly. âThank you, Jungkook. Iâll be spending weekends here. Or when I have a tough day at work. Or when youâre away and Iâm missing you.â
âGood. That way I know that when youâre down, you have somewhere to go so you could feel better. And less alone.â
Thatâs all he hopes, after all - that on days when he canât be what you need, thereâs a place that he built that will make you feel better.Â
He treasures your smile and the way your eyes shine as you go through the picture books that have their own row of shelves. He beams at how beautiful you look being enamored with the space that reminds you of the best parts of your childhood. And he softens when you look at him with so much adoration, words seemingly not enough to express how you feel.Â
You donât say much as you walk back to the car though. When he drives to his penthouse, you hold his hand. But something inside you stirs so you guide his palm to your thigh, smiling when he caresses it. He sees you bite your bottom lip at the act, and though heâs tempted to do more, he decides that tracing your skin is what he wants to do for now.
The feel of Jungkook touching any part of your body is electrifying. He ignites a kind of desire in you that youâve never felt before, whether itâs simply holding your hand or stroking the inside of your thigh.
Being back in the library made you feel many things. It brought back memories and made you imagine all the new ones youâll make. It also filled you with an overwhelming need for him, as you think of all the ways you could show him your appreciation. Including one that you could do tonight.
So after making it past the door of his apartment, and after briefly watching his impeccable figure walk down his hallway, you donât hold back. He turns around and you donât even hear what he asks. You just head towards him and kiss him.
You kiss him hard and deep, your hands wrapping around his neck to pull him as close as you can get him, even as you guide him towards his living room, knowing where you want him. He moans when you bite his lower lip, your fingers desperately gripping his shirt now as you want more.Â
You pull away to catch your breath, your intense eyes saying everything you want to do to him. He caresses your cheek but only briefly, as his thumb traces your lips before pushing it past them. The sight of you sucking his finger - gentle at first before you do it desperately - has his cock throbbing, impatient to feel your mouth wrapped around it.
âFuck. Good girl,â he says under his breath, as you lick his thumb teasingly to tell him what you want to do.Â
You kiss him again, your fingers now eagerly undoing his buttons. He removes his shirt then you pull his tank top off him before you push him to sit on the couch. You stand before him and stare at him shamelessly, as he sits comfortably and stares back at you. His hands are behind his head now, with his taut arms in full display for you to salivate over.Â
But itâs his chest that you want to pay attention to rigjt now, all perfectly toned and every bit breathtaking.
âTake your clothes off,â he says before you can make your move.Â
âIs that an order, Mr. Jeon?â You breathe out, knowing how the name affects him.Â
âYes,â he huffs. âAn urgent one.â
You smirk as he plays along, and you take your time in undressing. You watch his eyes move with you, his breaths deepening now as you bare yourself in front of him.Â
âDon't touch yourself. Iâll do that,â you instruct. âAnd thatâs not a suggestion.â
He chuckles in response but he seems to enjoy it, relaxing in his position. You take that as your cue, settling on his lap and then mapping his torso with your hands as you lick and suck his neck. He angles it to give you more space, and he hisses when you take advantage.Â
Your mouth travels south, leaving kisses on his collarbone and sternum before twirling your tongue around his pert nipples that are aching for attention. He starts to pant and you decide to take your time, wanting his pleasure to build up so you could hear him beg for you this time. You moan as you nibble his buds, but your own pleasure builds, too, and with your hand feeling his thick length underneath those jeans, you suddenly canât wait any longer.
âYou like that, baby?â You whisper in his ears. âYou like it when I do that?â
âFuck, yes,â he wails. âFuck, baby. Thatâs so good.â
With a few more kisses towards his hips, you move as well, now finding yourself kneeling on the floor and quickly undoing his belt. He lets you do all the work, and you donât mind. You like how his chest rises and falls in anticipation, and when you finally free his cock, you let out an obscene sound that even youâve never heard before.
Youâve been graced with this scene these past days, but it still leaves a lump in your throat. Heâs thick and veiny and everything you want to taste and have inside you. You pull off his jeans until heâs bare as well. You stroke him once and the moan he makes is all you need.Â
With your thumb on his slit, you lick up his shaft until youâre swallowing him whole, his tip hitting your throat that it makes you groan. The vibration has him grunting and it pushes you, so you start moving your mouth and hand up and down his length, with your tongue swirling over his tip and all the other sensitive parts of him.Â
Your free hand explores. You stroke his leg and then brush your fingers over his inner thighs. You caress his torso when you go deep and bask in the way he breathlessly curses, over and over again.Â
Needing a quick breather, you let your hands do their work. But Jungkook takes this chance to bend over and capture your mouth in his. He kisses you fervently, sucking the air out of you and you donât really mind running out of it, not when he tastes as good as he does, when heâs as desperate for you as you are for him. He pulls on your hair gently, slowly tightening his grip when your kiss gets more intense.Â
He eventually pulls away, leaving you free to tease and suck his cock once again. He moans continuously, cursing under his breath once you let him guide your head to take all of him in. His obscene sounds make it all worth it, especially once you feel his body tighten.
âFuck, baby Iâm close,â he whimpers. âFuck, IâI need to come inside you, fuck.â
You slowly remove yourself from him, but your hand remains wrapped around his length. You look at him with your glassy eyes, desperate to feel every inch of him possible.
âCome inside me, please,â you whisper. âI want to feel you come inside me. I needâŠâ
You pant, your eyes telling him what you really mean. You donât want any more barriers. You want to feel him drag against your walls, to release his warmth and fill you up completely. Youâve mentioned being clean and so has he; you said in passing how youâre on implants, too. He looks at you and nods in understanding, just like all the times that youâve spoken to each other through your gazes. With the way he heaves, he seems to want it just as much as you.Â
He pulls you towards him and guides you to sit on his lap. He strokes his cock and drags his tip through your folds, teasing you before slowly pushing it inside you. He feels even more immaculate like this, and your walls embrace him immediately, as if heâs always meant to be there. You get on your knees as you position yourself to ride him, and your gentle movements follow a pace that has you keening, especially when he starts licking your pert nipples thatâs been needing his attention.Â
You grind against him with his hands kneading your ass to guide you. You feel him deep, and it has you breathless and wanting more.You sit up and wrap your arms around his neck for support as he pounds on you from below, and with his tight grip around your waist and his mouth sucking your breasts, you start to feel hazy.
âYou feel so good around me, shit,â he moans. âFuck, baby. Youâre so perfect for me, fuck.â
He continues his thrusts and youâre so lost in the overstimulation. Your body starts to shake as you chase the high, letting it all overwhelm you.Â
âBaby, Iâm gonna come,â you whimper. âIâmââ
Your orgasm is a loud crash, and you feel it linger. You feel your essence coat him; you feel the slick drip out of you and stick to your bodies, mixed with the sweat from all the work of building each other up.  Â
He curses again as he feels the wetness all over his cock, and itâs heavenly. Feeling you like this does something to him, and he wants you to do it again.Â
So he pounds even harder, not giving you much time to calm down. You moan in response, scratching his back as you hold onto him tightly while he releases all his energy onto pleasuring you and him. He slows his pace and moves in circular motions before he lays you on your back. Your eyes are glassy. Your mouth knows only his name. Your hair is damp and youâre panting. And you look absolutely beautiful as you beg for him to make you come again, and for him to finally come inside you.
Watching you feel all that he can give is what he needs. With his arms propped on your sides to support him, he goes hard and deep. Heâs been somewhat gentle these first few times, and he knows that that drives you wild. But he also knows that going a bit rough would make you lose your mind even more, so thatâs what he does.Â
He pins your arms down as he slowly pushes inside you.
âYou like it like this, yeah?â He pants. âYou like it when I reach this deep?â
âYes, baby. Yes, please. Please donât stop,â you whimper, this view of him with his damp hair and his silver chain hanging over you making you crazy.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head with how good he feels, especially when he hits you at an angle that makes your body come alive but also numb, and itâs a feeling you canât get enough of.Â
He hums in satisfaction, choosing now to suck on your neck while he continues his assault on your pussy. He licks the shell of your ear and whispers how good you make him feel.
âYou take me so well, baby. Such a good girl, yeah?â He grunts. âFuck, youâre so good.â
You can only moan in response, unable to form proper words now. And he senses it, with your mouth hanging open and your erratic breathing escaping it.Â
He straightens himself, knowing what he needs to do. So he plays with your clit while his other movements continue, and thatâs how you find your voice again. He quickens his pace, his thumb doing its work on your most sensitive spot while your walls pulsate around his throbbing cock. Your legs start to shake until youâre wailing in pleasure, screaming his name as you orgasm another time. He knows enough to focus on kissing you, swallowing your sounds as you come down.
But you want him to reach his peak this time, so you tell him to keep going, to find his spot so he could fill you up this time. He spreads your legs open in response, giving him a view that makes him throb even more. Itâs what he needs, as he focuses on his pleasure like you told him. He bucks his hips, finding his pace that quickens then slows down then quickens again, until his erratic movements signal that heâs close, too.
âYes, baby,â you urge him. âYouâre gonna fill me up so good. I want it so bad. Come for me, please baby.â
He does a few more thrusts before heâs spilling his warm seed inside you, with him moaning out curses every second. His cum drips from your hole but he catches it with his tip, pushing it back inside you until so is he. He stays there for a while as you both catch your breaths, with him collapsing to your side while you move along with him. You can still feel his cock pulsate against your walls, and it causes you to moan. Youâve never felt that before, and itâs another intimate thing you share with him, as he wraps his arm around you and languidly kisses you after.Â
âThat was amazing,â he breathes out.
âIt was,â you hum, smiling at him looking spent and content. âI like you here. Stay a while, please.â
He chuckles at your request but he doesnât mind it either. Itâs intimate, as all things with you beyond sex are. He just wants to stay close to you, to hear your soft breaths and revel in the feel of you, sweat and slick included.Â
But as much as he could fall asleep here, he knows he shouldnât. He pulls away and lets you head to the bathroom to clean up. He follows soon after and he catches you on the sink, removing your makeup then turning to him once you hear him arrive.
âMy bodyâs kinda sore,â he says. âDo you wanna have a bath?â
âI wouldnât say no to that,â you smile. âBut we canât stay long. You have work tomorrow so you need to sleep soon.â
âAlright,â he nods, walking to the bathtub now. âIâll try to keep my hands off of you, then.â
Jungkook doesnât. And neither do you, even when you both head to the shower to rinse yourselves.Â
You curl in his arms right when he lays next to you, and despite all the intensity from earlier, you know that this will always be your favorite part - his fingers tracing patterns on your back, his lips constantly finding yours, and his eyes telling you all the other things that words or actions canât say. Heâs your safe place. You think from now on, heâll always be.
You wake up to your alarm the next morning, the ringing pulling out a groan from you; you havenât needed it this past week and you suddenly miss just sleeping in.
But itâs Monday, the start of a new week. Jungkook will be off to work and youâll have to go back to your own apartment and start preparing for your own job that will start next week. You manage to get yourself off the bed and his soft sheets and go to the bathroom to wash up.
Once you finish, you head out and immediately hear his grunts from where you are. You know heâs in the middle of his workout, so you peek inside the gym, finally shameless to be doing it this time. Heâs shirtless doing some arm exercise on his equipment, but he has his back turned on you so you stare at it instead, instantly feeling hot at the view of his broad shoulders and slim waist. His muscles contract with every movement and you remember how that felt when you held onto them last night to keep you grounded as he pounded into you from every angle.Â
His set finishes and he turns around and sees you, donned in his shirt and standing by the door. He moves to another machine, takes a seat, and starts doing a shoulder press while gazing back at you. Half of you is tempted to sit on his lap and kiss him stupid, but the other half wants to stay rooted on your spot to watch him.Â
The latter wins and you stand there, thighs squeezing at the sight and sound of him, as he grunts with his every push of the weights. His eyes donât move away from you and you just know heâs enjoying this, too, especially when he smirks once your mouth slowly opens.Â
âEnjoying yourself there?â He cocks an eyebrow. âYou like how I look? How I sound?â
âOh, shush,â you frown at being teased. âYouâre overdoing it. Youâre not that loud when you exercise.â
âSo you listen to me, huh?â He smirks again, walking towards you now. âHow did that make you feel?â
âI used to come here every morning, Jungkook. I couldnât not hear you,â you cross your arms. âAnd I just looked away.â
âYouâre not looking away now.â
âHow can I when youâre teasing like that,â you scrunch your eyebrows.Â
âIs it working?â
âWere you always this cocky?â You laugh now.
âNo,â he chuckles. âJust now. Only because I see your jaw dropping and your thighs squeezing.â
âAnd what are you gonna do about it?âÂ
âOh, donât challenge me like that,â he warns, caging you against the wall.Â
He eyes your lips but he bends down towards your chest instead, biting your pert nipple thatâs gotten so obvious under his cotton shirt. He nibbles on it briefly before swirling his tongue around it. You hiss, feeling the sensation all over your body with that small movement, and itâs what urges him to face you again.
âCute,â he whispers.
He licks your mouth, prompting you to open it and let him inside, and your moan at the taste of him is immediate. Your hands move on their own, pulling him by his neck then caressing his chest like itâs natural. You start to feel the dampness in your underwear and pull away, knowing that you canât fall into this early in the morning, and not when he has a job to go to.
âJungkook, you have work,â you say, hating that you have to cut this moment short. âIf we start thenâŠâ
âI know,â he sighs, given how you both canât seem to stop once you get into it. âIâll just do a bit more and then wash up. You can still watch if you like.â
âTempting, but Iâll be making us breakfast.â
âAnd whatâs on the menu?â
âFried rice,â you smile.
âFuck,â he groans. âNow I donât need to hide how much I enjoy that.â
You giggle and let him go then head to the kitchen where you work on making enough for tomorrow, in case he wants to have it again before he leaves. You brew coffee and work around just like you used to, but with a bit more freedom this time. You hum while you cook and prepare in excitement. Youâve learned that you like doing things for him, and this is one way that you could spoil him.
Jungkook exits his gym after some ab workouts and stretching, his heart racing in a different way when he sees you in his kitchen again. It brings him back to this past year of his weekday mornings and his favorite routine.
But youâre not in your work outfit this time, and it wonât be stolen glances or comfortable silence youâll be sharing. Thereâll be more, and though this wonât be the norm, given your own job that youâll be starting next week, Jungkook decides this is another favorite of his. He hopes for more moments of domestic bliss where itâs just you and him in his home, sharing meals and hugs and kisses in between.Â
He gives himself some time before he calls your attention, wanting to savor this first before he faces a busy week, one heâll have to go through without you.Â
âEnjoying yourself there?â You tease this time.Â
âYes,â he chuckles. âItâs just⊠nice to start a work week with you again.â
You smile softly at him, knowing that it hurt him to be without this for weeks. You show him the bowl of fried rice youâve made, and even youâre salivating. Perhaps itâs also because of the man standing in front of you, and the sight of him like this just never fails to take your breath away.
âItâs nice to start with this, too,â you gesture towards the food. âItâs a new recipe but I think youâll like it.â
âIâm sure I will,â he smiles back, following you to the table and sitting next to you.Â
He hums in satisfaction after the first spoonful. You watch him as he eats, endeared by the way heâs enjoying the dish despite looking like a whole meal himself.Â
You both finish and you clean up while he takes a bath, quickly dressing yourself then heading to his closet. Itâs no longer your responsibility but itâs a task you secretly enjoyed, so you put out a navy blue ensemble for Jungkook and set aside a few outfits that he can pack for his trips this week.Â
He walks in with a towel wrapped around his waist, and you stop yourself again from wanting to do anything. Itâs hard when he looks as good as he does at any time of the day, but itâs something youâll just have to get used to. You get to be around while he puts on his clothes now, and he doesnât seem to mind at all, given his teasing smile and soft laughter.Â
You stand in front of him and fix his necktie. His eyes flit from your fingers to your face, liking that heâs able to do that this time.
âYou know you donât have to do this,â he says. âBut⊠I like that you are.â
âItâs intimate, isnât it? Dressing someone?â You glance at him.
Youâve done something similar in the past, like when you fixed the creases of his suit or the time he put his jacket over you. They were so simple but they stuck with you, and something in you stirs as you do this for him now.Â
âIt is,â he smiles back, nibbling his lower lip.
You help him wear the coat then fix his tie again. You meet his eyes and then his lips before exiting the room, your gazes saying more than words could. He picks up your bags then you both walk to the car so he could drive you home before he heads to work.
âIâll see you tonight?â You turn to him.
âOf course. Iâll get to you at 6, is that okay?â
âYes, Iâll make dinner,â you smile.Â
He lets you go after a kiss and you head inside your apartment with all your freshly washed clothes and new shoes. Itâs a nice feeling being able to go through them and then fixing them in your closet. Itâs nice having this time for yourself, too. While you like being with Jungkook, you know itâs important to not forget how itâs like to be on your own.Â
You do your chores for the rest of the morning while talking to Soomin and Jimin on the phone, as youâre finally able to tell them most of whatâs happened since Friday night. Theyâre supportive, as they often are, and they seem to be looking forward to hanging out with him like you suggested.Â
You go out for lunch at a small noodle house before settling at a nice cafe where you read the book that Namjoon gave you. At mid-afternoon, you head to the supermarket to buy your groceries for the next two weeks, including tonightâs dinner. Thinking about what youâll make for him was easy; you just hope youâll do it justice, considering that itâs one of Jungkookâs favorite things to eat.Â
You donât hear much from him during the day. He messaged you during lunch time just to say he was eating out with Yoongi then asked how you were. He didnât respond after a few texts, which you didnât mind. You always felt that he wasnât the texting type, which is good because you arenât, either. Thereâs at least that level of understanding and expectation on both sides. You know of his tendency to hyper focus; heâs also a very busy man, which is why you know that when heâs with you, heâs focused on just you and nothing else, which is really what you prefer.Â
He calls when heâs on the way to you and before you know it, heâs ringing the doorbell and youâre being greeted by the said man who still looks impeccable after a long day. He hands you flowers and a bottle of champagne.Â
âYou didnât have to but this is lovely,â you smile at him.Â
You put the bouquet on a vase then place it on the coffee table. After taking his seat, you serve the dish that youâve spent the past few hours making, wanting to make sure that the meat is tender and flavorful. The beef looks so soft and the aroma is filling your apartment. You watch him after the first bite, your heart soaring when he smiles and hums in satisfaction.
âThis is so good,â he says. âReminds me so much of the beef brisket from that restaurant near the office.â
âGood. Thatâs what I wanted. That dish is your favorite,â you explain. âYou order it often. It was also the first dish you ever bought for me.â
He stops his movements and looks at you questioningly.Â
âIt was after the first board report submission,â you recall. âYou instructed me to buy the team lunch from that restaurant and this is what I ordered because you always did. I⊠I treat it as the first meal you got for me and I wanted to try making it for you.â
Jungkook remembers that day. You were surprised that he gave that instruction. You also made sure that the team enjoyed it and thanked him for it. He liked that you enjoyed it as well, but claiming that that was the first dish he got you is technically untrue. And heâs unsure if telling you the truth is a good idea, but he supposes itâs one he can share now.
âIt was actually pork cutlets with curry,â he says, prompting you to look at him questioningly. âIt was on my first day. I⊠I made you do so many things and you missed lunch.â
The memory comes back to you. He had you annotate documents and attend meetings and you were starving the whole day.
âRight. I stayed late that day and I think Yoongi got me dinner. How was thatâŠâ
You remember more. Yoongi had spoken with Jungkook before he left then came back with a rice bowl. Is it possible thatâ
âI asked him to get it for you and not say it was from me,â Jungkook interrupts your thoughts. âThe pastries during the meeting, too. Those⊠those were the first things I bought for you, all because I was guilty about how I treated you that day.â
You see the sadness and apology in his eyes. You suppose with how you both started, itâs easy to fall into a cycle of feeling bad about what happened, forgiving, moving on, and then remembering something again. But maybe itâs necessary this time, as you both get to know each other and settle in this new relationship. Mistakes will come up, and itâs on both of you to assure each other that itâs all okay.Â
So thatâs what you do, as you tell him youâre not upset when he asks if you are.
âI guess in a way, youâve always looked out for me,â you smile at him.Â
âI guess thatâs one way to look at it,â he sighs, wanting to be positive about it like you are.Â
But you donât want to dwell on the past. Youâve been apologizing to each other for days and you know youâll have to stop that at some point.Â
âYouâve been soft for me since the start, huh?â You wiggle your eyebrows at him in an effort to lighten the mood.
âI was attracted to you from the beginning,â he admits. âYou were nothing like I imagined and you kept proving me wrong. Iâd zone out when you spoke to me, Iâd hold my breath when you were close⊠so I detached myself from you and that hurt you in some ways. And I knew that was wrong so I fought the feelings and that made it worse.â
âWhat changed?â
âI hated seeing you have a hard time, whether it was because of me or not,â he says. âOne moment it was out of guilt and then the next⊠it was just about wanting to see you happy and safe. And then wanting to see all of that up close.â
âYou get to do that now,â you smile at him. âHappy, safe⊠thatâs what I am.â
âGood. Me, too,â he smiles back.
You continue with your meal while he talks about his relatively quiet but busy day and you talk about yours. Itâs nice being able to share mundane things that happened to you with someone who does the same.Â
The sadness in his eyes eventually disappears. He insists on doing the dishes this time and you both laugh as he navigates washing in the tiny sink. You sit on the couch with him, the sounds of the TV in the background merely white noise, and with your head on his chest and his fingers tracing patterns on your arm, you think that ending your days like this is a lot more peaceful and satisfying than being on your own.
âWhat time do you leave in the morning?â You ask.Â
â7,â he responds.Â
Heâs got a busy week ahead - a trip to Incheon then Busan tomorrow to do some promotions of the Arts Center, and then he goes straight to Japan on Wednesday for meetings with culture and tourism ministers. He comes back on Friday evening, and thatâs four days without you. It may sound silly, but thatâs four days too long. He managed before though, but then again, he didnât have much to look forward to after other than seeing you once he returned. Now, itâs that and so much more.
âI canât believe that we just got together and now we have to do LDR,â he shakes his head.
This causes you to laugh. You angle your head and look at him, with your arms wrapped around his waist now.Â
âWow, Mr. Jeon. I didnât think you were that dramatic,â you tease.Â
Heâd laugh back because he really does sound silly, but the way your soft eyes gaze at him makes him feel a little more sentimental. And definitely honest. Â
âJust wanna be with you, thatâs all,â he shrugs.
âYouâre clingy and needy and cheesy too,â you laugh, kissing his cheek after every word.Â
He groans and youâre endeared by how he pouts at you. Heâs definitely been expressive about how he feels, but youâll be apart for the next few days. Youâll be outside your little bubble of affection this time and now have to learn how to balance your relationship with every other responsibility you both have. But you want to assure him just like you hope heâd assure you.
You climb onto his lap, interlock your fingers with his, then smile at him.Â
âI like it because itâs you,â you whisper. âAnd I like you a lot. And I wanna be with you, too. But you have duties and so do I. So youâll get through this week and do well in those appearances and meetings, and then I can meet you on Friday for dinner and spend the weekend together. Does that sound good?â
âIt does,â he smiles back, kissing your hand that has your heart racing because of how tender he does it. âIâm not really uh, a texting kind of person, but let me know how youâre doing, okay? We could talk at night and you can tell me how your day went.â
âI will. And you can tell me, too.â
You nod in agreement and hug him. Youâre flushed against his chest and thereâs just so much comfort in this. You exhale a deep breath as you feel relaxed, especially when he starts to rub your back. Itâs calming, until his hands slip underneath your shirt and his touch slowly rouses you. You feel his desire as he hugs you tightly, and now all you want is for those hands to touch everything else, and for yours to do the same.
You sit back up then pull him forward for a deep kiss, cupping his face and inhaling him, tasting him, feeling him. You slowly unknot his loose necktie, and you feel him smile against your lips, knowing exactly what comes next. You pull away and let him lean back, giving you the space to unbutton his dress shirt while youâre snug on top of his length, liking the bit of friction you feel while you expose more of him to you.Â
You reveal his torso, and he watches you admire him from this view. Youâre stunning like this, especially with the desire for him painting your face. Your hands map out his body, and he tries to steady his breathing but to no avail. Itâs only been a few days but he doesnât think heâll get over how your touch affects him anytime soon, not when it ignites something feral in him.Â
But heâll take his time just like you seem to be doing. Even your kisses on his neck and chest are slow and tender, as if youâre savoring all this, knowing youâll be without it for a few days. Youâll both have to be outside this bubble of safety while heâs away, and he supposes itâs the start of how things will be from now on. But heâs excited for it, if his week will start and end this way. Itâs something he can now look forward to, and that carries with it excitement and relief.Â
Your lips trail south, the soft pecks being accompanied by your tongue and teeth doing more now. You start to rhythmically grind against his semi-hard length, and when you guide his hand under your shirt and on your breast, he lets out a low growl that has you biting your lip in anticipation.Â
Itâs what does it for him, and soon enough, youâre both undressed, moaning each otherâs names, and damp from sweat. Heâs holding you in his arms by the end of it, both your chests still heaving and minds probably hazy. But this is what he wants with you - this feeling of passion and overwhelming desire, of a kind of intensity that he hasnât felt in a long time. Or maybe even ever.Â
But he has to let you go, and when he does, thereâs that comfort he didnât think that letting you go would make him feel. Heâll go home knowing youâre thinking of him. Heâll go through his days knowing heâll be hearing from you. And heâll meet you eventually, knowing that it will be this same desire youâll be sharing and expressing, and thatâs definitely something he canât wait to do again.
Youâre a little disoriented when you wake up in your bed the next morning. Itâs not soft sheets that you bury yourself into this time, but then again, the body soreness is quite familiar. Itâs something you donât mind though, not when you know the reason why.
Itâs only been a few days but Jungkook just seems to know your body. He seems to really like it, too, with the way he takes his time kissing it, caressing it, and praising it. He knows just how to work his tongue on your most sensitive parts to make you reach your peak. He knows just how much strength to exert, or how deep he should go in what angle, and when to increase his pace or slow down. He knows just what to say, vulgar or otherwise, or when to look at you tenderly or as if heâll devour you, or when to grip you tightly and when to hold you softly.Â
And heâd done all of that last night. While your tiny couch could only make you do so much, you both still knew what to do whether you were on top of him, on your knees, or under him.Â
It was definitely a good way to say goodbye, and he wouldâve gone another round if it wasnât for you convincing him that he had to go home so he could pack his things and be ready for an early trip. You donât want him to be too tired then oversleep, and youâre glad that he didnât.Â
You check your phone and see that he messaged you at 7:15 to say that he and Mr. Ri have already left and are on their way to Incheon. Heâll attend a meeting and then appear at an event before they take the long drive to Busan for another event where heâll present the Arts Center and make a speech. Heâll spend the night there before an early morning flight to Tokyo. Itâs the first of many post-opening promotions heâll be doing, and you know thereâll be more of these business trips that youâll have to get used to.
But you donât mind being alone this time, not when you have your own preparations and rest to do, and not when you know that youâll be hearing from him at the end of the day. Thereâs the weekend youâll be looking forward to with him.Â
Your mom had reminded you during a brief call yesterday about making sure you preserve your independence and identity, and you tell her that you always had.
âYes, because those relationships were different,â she said of your exes. âYou did that because you didnât want to share much of yourself with them. But with Jungkook, you are, and itâs also the first time. Just⊠make sure to hold onto the things that made you happy before him, and he should, too,â she advises. âShare them, but donât forget them. Donât lose what makes you, you.â
Itâs wisdom from someone whoâd gone through relationships herself, whoâd loved and lost and loved again. And itâs a good reminder.Â
This is all new to you, and you suppose itâs easy to fall into this trap of dependence with your partner, of the honeymoon stage and the giddy, euphoric parts of romance. At the end of the day, Jungkook still has duties and you have a new path to take on. Youâll both have days of being too busy, too tired, maybe a bit frustrated, too. Youâll need to ground yourself in other ways and like your mom had said, not depend on the other person to always make things better, even if most days they could.Â
Itâs the same thing that your next-door neighbor tells you when you decide to have lunch with her after she lures you with some grilled fish. She tells you about the encounter with Jungkook and you narrate how you got together. It may all seem too much, too soon and now that youâre apart from him, maybe it is. Maybe itâs also just all the emotions you both kept in finally being expressed.Â
And you think that maybe itâs also good that you have this time for yourself to remind you of all the other things you enjoy in life. Now you donât have to treat them as substitutes for what you really desire because you already have that connection and intimacy youâve been yearning for. You get to truly feel the joy of immersing yourself in your interests, and you suppose thatâs one way to not lose yourself.
So you go back home and tend to your plants. You go to the theater and watch a local film and not feel like youâre escaping your life or anything this time. You bake cookies after your chicken in broth dinner because itâs something youâve always wanted to try.Â
You share all these things with Jungkook later that evening while youâre on a video call with him, including what your mom and neighbor had said.Â
âI was a little down that youâll be away but now I⊠Iâm thinking I shouldnât be,â you say. âIâll always miss and think about you but I donât want to feel like I miss myself when Iâm with you. Am I making any sense?â
âYou are,â he smiles on the screen. âItâs the same reason why you didnât want me to miss my meeting with my father and cousin yesterday. I still have a role. Now that Iâm with you, I feel like Iâll stop feeling like that weighs me down. It used to because all I was was tied to that title. I didnât feel like I was anything else.â
You think about his words and how resigning felt liberating for you. Beyond feeling indebted, itâs clear to you that you felt stuck because itâs all you knew to do; being an assistant was all you knew how to be. It wasnât just the stress or the pressure because you know every job you take will have those. In fact, you look forward to it in your new position. You realize that you like working, you like the hustle, you like the grind. But if itâs all you do, you lose the joy.Â
Now, you have a hand to hold and a warm body to wake up to. You have someone to share your days and joys and frustrations with. You have someone to laugh with and cry to. And so days on your own feel like much-needed time to enjoy things you prefer doing by yourself. And work could feel more challenging in a good way, pushing you to be better and seeing what else you could accomplish. Somehow, being with Jungkook makes you feel like thereâs so much more you could do because at the end of the day, thereâs someone to celebrate with, to share your thoughts with; thereâs someone to cheer you on and support you.
You tell him all this and he seems to reflect on it as well.Â
âThe councils were very impressed with the Arts Center,â he says after a while. âThey said itâs a good complement to their efforts of promoting local artists because of the opportunities for exhibitions. At that moment, I felt proud of what weâve done. And it reminded me of why I wanted to focus on this aspect of the job. I always told my parents that I wanted to be responsible for the creative side of the company and I am but it felt so heavy even if I asked for it. I donât have to carry that pressure with me all the time. I get to take a break from it when Iâm with you and I think thatâs made me enjoy it more.â
Itâs a realization Jungkook had on the way home after that dinner meeting with a local artist in Busan. She talked about envisioning her pieces displayed in a space like the Arts Center and he felt that joy of being able to create something for others to be a part of. Structures are beautiful on their own, but then the meaning deepens because of what they mean for users; the sense of fulfillment is different. He supposes that heâs able to appreciate that part of the job even more now.Â
âThatâs good for us, then,â you hum, as you slowly succumb to sleep. âI have quite the day tomorrow and so do you. Rest now, Jungkook. And Iâll talk to you again.â
He says goodbye with such softness in his eyes. You miss him, but youâre happy that heâs able to experience all this on his own, too. Hearing him talk about it is different than witnessing it yourself and thatâs perhaps the joy in being with someone. Itâs not just about experiencing what they experience; itâs also about being on the receiving end when they try to make sense of it.Â
Maybe thatâs what partnership is about, and you canât imagine sharing all this to anyone else but him. And thatâs the difference this time. This is a person you admire and who admires you back. Heâs someone you could trust and feel safe enough to be your true self with, and after tonightâs conversation, you feel like youâre that same person for him.
You wake up early enough the next day and manage to send Jungkook a message wishing him well on his flight to Tokyo. He gives you a call as heâs about to board and says he has so many things lined up this Wednesday but that heâll talk to you again in the evening. Itâs a promise of tonight despite the distance, and you suppose that makes all the difference for him this time.Â
You go about your busy day, too. You make yourself a simple breakfast and then head to Rkive Publishing for your onboarding. You requested this to be done earlier so that you could focus on your tasks when you start on Monday, and Namjoon gladly agreed to your request.
He introduces you to Won-woo, your co-production officer whoâll be handling projects alongside you, and to the associates and assistants whom youâll manage to get the books ready for selling. The team seems a lot more relaxed than what youâre used to, and they share your excitement in working together soon.
Namjoon shows you your desk and turns over your laptop. He introduces you to the rest of the staff and lets the HR go through all the administrative matters with you. He gives you a folder with all the existing and upcoming projects that the associates prepared, including the processes and suppliers list, as well as your teamâs personnel files.Â
You smile at the documents because preparing these used to be your job, and now youâre at the receiving end of it. Itâs a different feeling, but being here today excites you even more.Â
You join them at a book launch and take notes of how itâs being run. As a small company, planning these events is done by a special team composed of a staff member from every department but there isnât really someone who manages it. Thatâs a responsibility given to you because of your background, and itâs a challenge youâre willing to take. You have more freedom this time and you have ideas. You observe how Namjoon and the other managers engage with the author and his team. Itâs definitely different from what youâre used to, and you feel thereâs more sincerity in these people than the millionaires you had to deal with at your old job.Â
You feel accomplished at the end of it, and itâs something you share with Jungkook again that evening when you eat your Chinese takeout while he munches on some dessert over the phone.Â
Not wanting to stay home the next day, you go to a park and finish reading your book. You decide to go to the library at the Arts Center and go through the project documents. You walk around, too, able to take in more of the surroundings with the sun still out. Itâs a calming place that has you coming up with ideas for book launches, as you take note of the indoor and outdoor spaces that could definitely hold those types of events. You feel fulfilled, and itâs something you share with Yoongi during dinner later that night.Â
You share it with Jungkook, too, over a late evening video call after he had drinks with some business partners. He sounds quite tipsy, and he goes on about having your lemon ginger tea that you convince him to ask room service to make. You remind him of his lunch breakfast meeting and afternoon flight, and tell him that you could both meet for dinner after he clocks out of work.
Itâs what you do the next day, as you wait for him at a French restaurant that you reserved for tonight. You turn around when he calls your name, and your smile is immediate when he comes up to you and hugs you tightly. He sounded tired when he called on the way here, and you suppose that he hasnât really properly rested these past few days. Heâs been going from one meeting or event to another, and heâs said before how the socializing drains all of his energy.Â
You feel that now, as he exhales deeply while his arms wrap around you.Â
âLong week, huh?â You say after you both take your seats.Â
âCrazy,â he shakes his head. âTalking about the plans was exciting but the actual talking was tiring.â
He goes on about how the rest of his trip went and you laugh at his commentary about all the people heâs met and his observations. You realize just how much is on his mind, and it reminds you of all the times that youâd seen him look detached when in fact, heâd been making notes and plans in his head.Â
Once the food arrives and you salivate at the dishes, he says heâll stop talking about work now.
âItâs part of your day. Why should you stop talking about it?â You turn to him with a pout.
âI donât want to bother you about it.â
âBut I like hearing you talk about it,â you say. âI like knowing whatâs going on in that brilliant mind of yours.â
âThereâs always too much going on inside it,â he laughs. âI donât always know how to make sense of them.â
âItâs because you donât talk about them,â you point out. âIâm here to listen. I always am.â
He smiles and shares what happened today during the meeting he had with the team to discuss all the proposals theyâve been getting with regards to promoting the Arts Center. A subsidiary company is handling operations and marketing, but other than the planned partnerships with the Culture Ministry and the International Film Festival organizers, Jungkook didnât expect other industries, as well as local and foreign companies and institutions, to want to partner with Jeon Corporation as well, specifically him.Â
He had a phone meeting with his father and Hoseok during the drive from the airport about how they can strategically go about this but that requires more canvassing and research. This is something they can tap on, and itâs good for the company image and sustainability. Residential and commercial infrastructure have always been their expertise but they can build on the cultural sides of property development, too, and Jungkook would be at the forefront of that.
âMonitoring the Arts Center is a big task in itself. Iâm gonna have to set a plan for how the VP Office is going to handle it, among many other things,â he says.Â
âMaybe itâs time to revisit each team memberâs portfolio and responsibilities,â you suggest. âUnder Hoseok, only Manager Lee and Chin-sun directly handled projects, but they were all small ones so they could handle multiple. Do-hyun and Yohan managed all administrative affairs and I oversaw a bit of everything. Monitoring the Arts Center might require more than one person so maybe Chin-sun could do it with Do-hyun as a form of mentorship. You have the call to give projects to the young ones now, and maybe add another person to help with administration and events planning. Lucas could need that support.â
Jungkook is quiet and youâre afraid you mightâve crossed a line by advising him on what he could do as VP. You may have been his assistant but that doesnât mean you could just go on and suggest things. You donât even know if itâs appropriate to do this. He didnât even technically ask for your opinion.Â
Youâre about to apologize when he speaks.
âThose are great ideas. Iâll be meeting them about their development and professional goals soon. Maybe I could align expanded responsibilities and portfolios with that,â he hums. âAnd mentorship is good, too. Hoseok said he planned on doing that but he had to oversee so many projects that it got pushed back so maybe I can institutionalize that now. And yeah, Iâm seeing now that weâd need another person to ease the load off the others. I donât want them to be overworking and actually, neither should I.â
A smile forms on your face as the ideas come flowing. He probably had thought of those already but needed a sounding board outside of the team. That would usually be his assistant but if itâs about them, heâd need another person for it.Â
âIâm sorry Iâm bringing this upon you,â he shakes his head. âThatâs⊠thatâs not your job anymore. Youâre not my assistant anymore. I donât want you to think that Iâm using you for that.â
You didnât really think of it that way but you donât blame him for thinking about it. You did accuse him of wanting you to stay for the convenience of it, and maybe thatâs still weighing on him.
âI donât mind,â you assure him. âThis is new territory for us, I guess, and itâs something we have to learn to navigate but this is important to you, which means itâs important to me, too. If we treat it like that, then itâs all okay.â
You caress his hand to assure him, and his smile says he understands. Heâll seek advice from his father, he tells you, and youâre glad that heâs actively working on that relationship personally and professionally.Â
âHow are you feeling about your first day?â He asks, his hand on your bare thigh now while you eat the chocolate mousse dessert. âDo you feel like youâre ready?â
âIâm really excited. And I think Iâm ready to just get on with it,â you smile. âBeing there last Wednesday helped, and I just have all these ideas for the projects weâve got lined up. I⊠I even thought of having book launches in the Arts Center. As long as, you know, itâs not a conflict of interest or anything.â
Your shy smile endears him, and he assures you that itâs not a problem. Youâre just using your network. At the end of the day, itâs still the managing companyâs call and your own bossâ decision. But you end up bouncing off ideas with him, too, like the Arts Center hosting writing workshops or spoken poetry sessions with the authors whose books youâll be publishing.Â
âWe make a pretty good team, donât we?â He says after youâve finished dinner and youâre walking to his car. âWeâre out here just coming up with these ideas.â
âWe work pretty well together so itâs not a surprise,â you smile at him. âI like that thereâs no pressure, too. And that we could just share these things with each other, you know?â
âThatâs true. I mean, Iâm not assessing you or anything,â he laughs. âBut I can openly admire you for it. And then think itâs sexy when you use publishing terms that I donât understand.â
âSo thatâs what you want, huh?â You giggle. âI mean, I understand. Itâs how I am with you.â
âAh, so you find it sexy when I talk about the blueprints and design stuff, then?â He teases.Â
âI do,â you smirk. âA hot guy with a big brain? Of course thatâs sexy.â
âHmm, thatâs nice to know,â he says, caging you against the door of the car.Â
His eyes soften as he takes you in and you mirror the way he looks.Â
âIâm happy I get to be with you again,â he whispers, his lips inching closer to yours.Â
âMe, too,â you whisper back. âAnd I get to sleep and wake up next to you.â
âThatâs always a good plan,â he hums, kissing you deeply, something he could definitely do in an empty basement parking that he couldnât do at a restaurant.Â
You fall into him immediately, and all you want is to do this without worry. âDo you mind if we spend the night at my place?â You suggest. âItâs closer.â
He laughs when he pulls away but agrees that getting home as quickly as possible is a good idea. You both enter the car and his palm is glued to your thigh again and you feel the desire heighten now that youâre alone.
Once the door of your apartment shuts, his hands are all over you immediately. Youâre undressed by the time you make the short walk to your dining area, and before you could breathe from your rough kissing, youâre whimpering already with how his tongue expertly laps up your sopping cunt.Â
Youâre bent on the table one minute, coming on his mouth and then the next, youâve got your leg on it while he pounds you from behind, his mouth on your neck and his hands on your breasts.Â
You go another round in your tiny bathroom, and then another one on the edge of your bed before youâre able to properly lie on it. Youâre spent after another quick shower, but itâs worth it when he fucks you as good as he does, especially after not seeing him for a few days.
Youâre laid on your side, facing him who does the same. The lamp from your living room is the only source of light you have, but itâs enough for you to see his face and the smile that paints it as you explain that your bed is not as comfortable and your sheets are not as soft as his are. He says that heâll get used to it, but you insist on passing up on your apartment next time because itâs definitely not sex-conducive unlike his penthouse. He laughs at your comments, saying that he could have sex with you anywhere and it would still be amazing.Â
But that cheekiness quickly fades away, and the anxious look in his eyes starts to worry you.
It takes a while but you hear it - the pitter-patter on your window that slowly starts getting louder. You turn around and watch helplessly as the drizzle turns to a downpour in seconds, and you rush out of the bed to close the curtains.Â
Jungkook looks uneasy - his jaws are clenched, his eyes flit from the window to you, and his breathing starts to quicken. His body shrivels, as he pulls the covers tight around him and you canât imagine how anxious he feels. You turn on your speaker and put on some soft music to hopefully drown out the sounds. It works only a little, and youâre reminded of all the times that you felt powerless and unable to give him comfort.
But thatâs not the case now, as his words prompt you to move.
âCome here, please,â he mumbles. âI need you with me.â
You return to your spot next to him, and he loosens his hold on the blanket to let you in.Â
âIâm here, okay?â You whisper, cupping his face and looking at him in the eyes. âIâm not going anywhere. Youâre safe with me, Jungkook.â
His eyes soften a bit before they close, and you cover his ears with your hands the way you did all those months ago to block out the noise. It works, as his breathing starts to slow down. But his hold on your arms tightens, and you feel that he needs you as an anchor to get through this, so you shift up and let his arms wrap around you. He finds purchase in your neck while you caress his back, and you pace your breathing with his to let him know that youâre with him, and that youâre not letting him go.
The thunder doesnât come, but you hold Jungkook the entire night to tell him that youâre there to comfort him even when the storm has passed. You drift to sleep once you hear his soft snores, letting his warmth envelope you as well.
You awake the next morning laid on your stomach like you tend to be, with only the warmth from the blanket covering you. Youâre no longer hugging Jungkook. He also isnât next to you.Â
You shift on your back and then find him by the balcony, the curtains open now, allowing you to see the clear skies outside. He stands looking out, with a faraway look in his eyes the way he had the day after his nightmare. You watch him for a while, wondering whatâs on his mind, if the fear still remains, or if your comfort helped him get through the night.
He senses youâre awake, so he turns around and faces you. Thereâs a softness in his eyes now and you wonder where thatâs from.
âHey,â he greets. âDid the light wake you?â
âNo. The empty space next to me did,â you say softly, sitting up on the bed now.
âIâm sorry. I⊠I had to exercise a bit to expend the negative energy,â he explains.Â
âWhat did you do?â You wonder.Â
âJust some push-ups and lunges. I didnât want to disturb your sleep. You looked pretty peaceful,â he smiles.
âI donât even know what time I slept. But it wasnât long after you did. How do you feel?â
âBetter. It was one of those nights, you know?â
You nod, suddenly overcome with a wave of sadness and regret. He notices the change in your expression and sits on the edge of the bed facing you.Â
âHey, is everything okay?â
You look at him with a pout. âI asked you to come here. Then it rained. And I know how you like to workout in the mornings and I have nothing to offer here.â
âYou know you canât control the weather, right?â He nudges your knee. âI wouldâve asked if we could come here if you hadnât because it was closer. And you⊠you were all I needed last night. I held onto you like a lifeline, ___.â
âYou did,â you nod, appreciating his words, even if heâs not the one who should be comforting you after what happened. âIâm glad I could do that for you. I guess Iâm just⊠a little ashamed because this is all I have andââ
âBaby, Iâm gonna stop you there before you say anything else,â he says, scooting closer to you and tilting your chin so you could look at him. âThis is your home and I⊠I know you donât just let anyone in. I like being here. I like being with you. And last night, that will be one of many. I know I wonât be going through that on my own anymore.â
âI canât control the weather, right?â You repeat his words. âWhat if it happens and Iâm not with you?â
âIâll just imagine that you are,â he hums. âAnd then I can head to you the next day and Iâll feel better. And thatâs⊠thatâs new for me.â
âOkay,â you mumble, thankful that youâre able to give him as much comfort and safety that he does with you. âIâm just here even if Iâm not around.â
âI know,â he smiles, leaning close to kiss you.Â
You give him a soft one then pout again, saying you still have to brush your teeth, so he lets you go and you scurry to the bathroom. You return to your bed with him lying on his back now, his arm folded behind his head as he gestures to the space next to him. You climb up and lay on top of his chest, kissing him languidly as his arms wrap around your waist to hold you in place.
Heâs gentle with the way his tongue rolls around with yours, and with how his hands stroke your back as theyâve snuck underneath your shirt. Thereâs something about the rare cool morning that has you wanting to just lazily make out with him while you feel each other up.
And thatâs exactly what happens. You hum and giggle against each otherâs lips, and your hand maps his torso while he palms your waist down to your thigh.Â
Laying on his chest now, you turn to him.
âIâm nervous about tonight,â you confess.
âBaby, you know my parents. And you know they like you,â he says, turning to you. âEven you think that they already approve of you.â
Itâs true, you remind yourself. They have always been kind to you. Youâve had several conversations with CEO Jeon and he was the one who showed you the library. They also sounded excited about dinner when they called Jungkook last week, but being around them in a different context this time makes you anxious.Â
âApproval is one thing but meeting expectations is another, and thatâs what Iâm worried about,â you explain. âThey know me as an employee but not as the woman youâre, uh, currently seeing.â
âYou mean dating.â
âYes, that,â you shyly smile. âI worked for their family and now Iâm⊠dating their son. And there are standards to that.â
âStandards that you already meet,â he assures you. âFor all that my parents are, I at least know that what matters the most to them is that Iâm with someone who genuinely wants me, and considering how you canât get your hands off me, I know you do.â
You laugh at this teasing but you donât deny it.Â
âYouâre quite irresistible, if Iâm being honest,â you giggle. âIâm still getting used to the fact that I could, uh, do all this with you.â
âWell, I hope you donât get tired of it. Because I wonât.â
âLook at you being good with words and all,â you smirk. âYou surprise me, Mr. Jeon. I canât wait to know what else is inside that heart of yours.â
âMe, too, actually,â he hums, realizing that thereâs still so much he doesnât know about what heâs capable of doing and feeling this time around. âI guess we can find out together.â
You smile at his honesty and think the same. Youâre on this journey of learning what your heart can do and heâll be the one to show you that.Â
You lay in bed with Jungkook for the rest of the morning, having short naps and then lazy make out sessions before deciding to wash up. You eat at a cafe for lunch then head to his place this time. He works out for a bit then joins you on the couch as you watch a show before you both prepare for that dinner at his parentsâ estate.Â
Mr. and Mrs. Jeon warmly greet you when you arrive. They lead you to the dining room and you tone down your amazement at the spread before you. There are all types of meat and seafood and other fancy dishes that get you curious, something Jungkook seems to notice as he fills your plate and tells you to let him know what else you want more of.Â
âDonât be shy, dear,â his mother says. âHave as much as you want. We want you to feel at home and comfortable, okay?â
âYes, Mrs. Jeon,â you smile.Â
You try to loosen up but still act proper, not wanting to give the impression that youâre uncultured and ignorant. Their family has so much experience of traveling the world and you want to show that you can keep up, that youâre worthy of sitting and walking alongside them and their son. You seem to be doing okay, but you donât realize how nervous you really are until you feel Jungkookâs hand wrap around your own and then his fingers interlocking with yours.
Heâs warm and stable, and when you tighten your grip, you see him smile from your periphery. You smile as well, wanting him to know that you appreciate the encouragement heâs giving. And it helps, as once youâre asked about your new job, you feel yourself relax in his hold, until he slowly lets you go, showing you that youâre doing well and can hold your own.
You talk with confidence and excitement about the publishing house and your responsibilities. Jungkook watches you beam when you mention your upcoming projects and the things youâre looking forward to learning, and he thinks youâre incredibly beautiful like this. Itâs new and exciting for him, too, and itâs at this moment when all the pain and frustration from losing you the first time that it all feels truly worth it.Â
Jungkook doesnât expect to be as engaged as he is once his mother asks about his trips this past week. Oftentimes heâd give simple and straightforward answers, but with you around, thereâs this new kind of comfort and feeling of openness towards his parents. Perhaps itâs gratitude that they helped you and your mom all those years ago. Maybe itâs also you, because being around you makes him want to be better. It might be both of that and more - it might also be him, realizing that heâs capable of receiving and returning the love of the two people who've given him the most.Â
After dinner, you all proceed to the sitting room outside that overlooks the garden. You settle with a flute of champagne and sit next to Mrs. Jeon, appreciating the moon casting over the grand space filled with big trees and flower beds and a fountain.Â
âIâve added more outdoor lights,â CEO Jeon informs Jungkook as they sip their glass of whiskey. âIâll show you the new ones.â
Jungkook nods and gestures to you that heâll just go with his father. You watch them head out and walk around, with the older man pointing to different posts and seemingly explaining the lighting. Jungkook engages with him, and compared to what youâd witnessed in the past, his body language this time is no longer of detachment.
âYouâve done so much for our son, ___,â his mother breaks through your thoughts, prompting you to turn to her. âI hope you never doubt your place in this family. I know itâs all new and itâs just been a week but I want you to feel like you belong here, with him and with us.â
âThatâs an honor to give me, Mrs. Jeon,â you respond in gratitude. âPlease know that I wonât take that for granted.â
âI feel more grateful that youâre around,â she faintly smiles. âWeâre just like most families, you know? I donât want to be ignorant in saying that but we⊠We have our troubles. We never say enough, we say things we donât mean, we let distance keep us apart, we love but we donât show it the right way. But we try. We try with our sons but it doesnât always get through. I always feel like too much has happened and we just never knew how to make up for it.â
âI think Jungkookâs seeing that now,â you assure her. âHeâs told me about wanting to spend more time with you, to celebrate birthdays and holidays. It might take time but he wants to make plans. He wonât feel so far away from you anymore.â
âAnd we thank you for that,â she says. âWe didnât know how to make him open up to us and there are still things we donât know about him. We lost so many years and I⊠Iâve been hoping that in being back here, heâll give us a chance and now he has. And thatâs because of you. You showed him the good thatâs around him and you made him open up to those good things. All it took was you.â
âHe did the same for me,â you point out. âI carried a lot of pain, too, and Iâve only started to embrace the good things around me because of him. Your son has such a beautiful heart, Mrs. Jeon, and regardless of what happened, I know he took that from you, too,â your voice cracks now.Â
âOh, dear,â she huffs, taking your hand in hers. âYou have no idea how much it means to me to know that.â
She wipes the tears that form in her eyes and you give her a comforting smile.Â
âHe cares about you, Mrs. Jeon. And heâs slowly learning how to express that.â
âThatâs wonderful to hear,â she smiles. âI hope you always stay by his side, dear. It can get hard sometimes, as it is with all relationships. But⊠I hope you hold each otherâs hands throughout all of that.â
âIâm sure weâll learn that, too,â you nod.Â
You turn to where Jungkook and his father are and see that theyâve gone a bit further down. You ask his mother where they might be and she answers that theyâre probably by the playground, as new lights have been installed in that area, too.
âYou should go to him,â she urges. âThatâs such a special place for him and Iâm sure heâd want to show it to you.â
You nod and head out, your heart warming at finally being able to be in his safe space this time. You get there without catching their attention, and you look back at the humble structure before you, seeing the love that created it for a man you hold so close to you.
âThatâs such a lovely playground, Mr. Jeon,â you say, prompting both men to turn to you. âDid you build this all by yourself?â
âOh, I thought you were talking to me,â Jungkook states.
âYouâre only Jungkook to me now,â you playfully shake your head, although you donât miss the teasing way he cocks his eyebrow because you definitely still use the formalities as you please.
CEO Jeon laughs but gets back to your question. âI did. It was the first time I ever designed and constructed one and it took a while to do it. I had to figure out how to hide it from Jungkook because he would follow me out here that I had his mother take him to one of our properties in the mountains for the weekend just so I could finish it,â he laughs at the memory. âBut it was all worth it. He loved it as a child and it stood the test of time.â
âItâs because you maintain it, father,â Jungkook points out. âThatâs, uh, thatâs dedication.â
âI knew how much it mattered to you, and that mattered to me,â the older man hums. âI wanted you to have a place where you felt safe every time you were here. Maintaining it was my way of feeling close to you.â
You watch as both of them share a look of gratitude and acceptance, and though mending this relationship will also take time, you know that with this, itâs starting to.
âWell, Iâm sure Jungkook would love to show it off,â CEO Jeon smiles. âIâll leave you both to it.â
Youâre left alone with Jungkook now, and with his hand around your waist, you rest your head on his chest and hug him tight. You imagine a young boy running about, excitedly riding the swing and going down the slide and then sitting at his favorite spot while he draws buildings and the sky on his sketch pad. That same boy stands next to you now and holds you close, in a way sharing those memories with you as you stand in silence and take in the beauty of a humble playground.Â
Jungkook turns and kisses you on the forehead.Â
âThank you for tonight,â he whispers. âIâm glad youâre here with me.â
âAlways,â you smile. âThank you for taking me here.â
You know that for him, itâs not just about how you managed the evening with his parents. Itâs also more than just a celebratory dinner for the Arts Center. Tonight is a way for him to show his parents that heâs ready to receive all the good that theyâve been showing him.Â
And itâs his way of telling you that as long as youâre both navigating your pains and your fears together, everything is going to be alright.
You spent the rest of Saturday night curled in Jungkookâs arms as you both watched a horror movie on his living room couch. On Sunday, you slept in and cooked lunch together before he took you to a spa. He insisted on getting a massage to help you relax before your big first day, and with the steam room and afternoon tea included in the couples package, you couldnât say no.Â
He looked happy seeing you satisfied. There was something about the soft kisses and sensual touches that got you relaxed and definitely turned on. You had dinner out after that then he took you home where he stayed until you started dozing off, wanting to spend time with you as long as he can before another busy week.Â
Your alarm goes off on Monday morning and you immediately get up, feeling that excitement of your first day rush through you. Itâs a different feeling this time - youâll be establishing a new routine, be around a different set of people, exploring new food places to eat at for lunch, and your days will be filled with new tasks and responsibilities that you canât wait to get to.Â
Youâll learn new things and manage a team this time, and it will challenge you in so many ways. Youâll also engage with authors and artists, and you suppose that's what youâre most excited about - you want to connect with your inner self and your surroundings more, and to find peace and strength in other peopleâs words.Â
Looking at yourself in the mirror after your shower, you canât help but smile. Thereâs that joy on your face thatâs new. Thereâs a bit of fear, too, but even then, you wish Jungkook was here to see how excited you look, or maybe to remind you that things are going to be alright. He messaged earlier to greet you good morning and youâll probably settle with texts for now, as he might be on the way to work with Lucas next to him.Â
Wrapping a towel around your body, you head out the bathroom to dress up. But thatâs when your doorbell rings, and you freeze for a moment because youâre not scheduled to have anyone this early in the morning. It might be your neighbor. But it could also beâ
âBabe?â Jungkook calls from the other side. âAre you still there?â
You immediately open the door to let him in and you stare at him, all dressed and ready for work.
âHey,â you say, returning his kiss. âWhat are you doing here? Did Mr. Ri drive for you?â
âNo, I did,â he smiles. âI told him and Lucas that Iâll just meet them at the office and I wonât be in until around 9.â
âWhy?â
âWell, itâs your first day. And I wanted to get you breakfast. And drive you to work,â he explains. âMaybe ease your nerves if youâre a little anxious.â
You soften as you watch him lay out the pastries and cups of coffee on your dining table. You were just thinking about him, and now heâs here, making sure heâs got your first meal and transportation covered on this pretty important day.Â
âIâm actually quite excited,â you beam. âAnd Iâm really glad youâre here.â
âGood,â he smiles, taking his seat. âI⊠I know youâre a grown adult and all but I didnât want you to go through this on your own.â
You want to hug and kiss him at this moment but doing so while wrapped in a damp towel isnât a good idea. So you ask for a second and quickly wear your nightgown from last night, then you scurry towards him. You sit on his lap and bury your face in his neck, taking in his scent while your arms wrap around him.Â
His arms wrap around you, too, tightening his grip on your waist the more you curl into his body. He adores this giddy version of you, the one that melts in joy when he does something nice. Itâs wholesome, he thinks. He always believed you deserved that kind of care and treatment. Heâd spoil you with whatever you like, but itâs this tenderness that he learned from you, that he wants to try to keep showing.Â
You cup his face with your hands and kiss him softly while he palms your outer thigh as your legs lay on his lap. You pull away before you start to want more, grazing your nose against his instead then going to your seat.Â
The pastries look divine and you already feel energized. You thank him again for making the effort to buy all this and drive to you, and his proud smile makes the butterflies in your belly go off.Â
âDress up now,â he says once you finish. âIâll clean up here and make you coffee to-go.â
âOkay,â you mumble, leaving him to finally get ready.
Jungkook puts away the remaining food and wraps it for your breakfast tomorrow. He uses the coffee machine that his office gave as a farewell gift to make your drink that youâll be needing to get you through the rest of the morning. He glances at you and sees you choosing between two blouses. You turn to him to show both of them, your eyes asking which one you should wear.
âBlush,â he answers. âPairs better with the green.âÂ
He gestures towards the shoes next to your closet, the ones he got for you last weekend.Â
âThought so,â you smile, turning around to put it on.Â
He walks towards you as you tuck it in your beige slacks and look at yourself in the mirror. He watches as you tie the knot by the neckline of your top, aligning the bows constantly. You donât seem to be satisfied, as you pull the tails then do it all over again, straightening the bows once more. He knows you can do this even with your eyes closed, but a bit of help wonât hurt, especially as he senses that somethingâs causing you to be quite jittery.
âHey,â he calls out. âLet me.â
You meet his eyes in the mirror then turn around to face him. He tightens the knot and aligns it, and you watch him the whole time he does. Something about the way heâs focused on this makes your heart race, and you smile to yourself at how the roles have reversed.Â
But unlike how both of you used to stand still and hold your breaths when it was you on the other side, this time, thereâs calmness despite what youâre feeling.
âOkay, maybe Iâm a little nervous,â you admit, prompting him to look at you. âItâs just that⊠so much has happened for me to get here and I want to do it right. I want to do well. I donât want to fail at this, Jungkook.â
âAnd you wonât,â he comforts, cupping your face now as he looks at you tenderly. âYou worked hard to get here, to have this kind of freedom. You deserve to pursue what makes you happy, ___, and you deserve to want it, okay? Youâre gonna go there and impress everyone with your beautiful mind and admirable work ethic and kindness. And that boss of yours is going to constantly be thankful that you gave him a chance and didnât shut him out when he spoke to you at that bookstore.â
He thumbs your cheek as you slowly smile, and he mirrors your look of adoration.Â
âIâve seen what you can do,â Jungkook continues. âAnd this new role, this company⊠theyâll test you but I know you. Youâll make them believe in your capabilities and your vision. Your heart will make them trust you. And youâll lead them well; I donât doubt it one bit.â
âOkay,â you nod, feeling the warmth of his words all over your body.
Youâre thankful that he decided to come today, as you probably wouldâve stressed about so many things and then become anxious right as youâre entering the office.Â
But you arenât. You feel confident and excited and for the first time, you feel like yourself. Itâs not because youâre tying your identity and purpose to a job again, which is what pulled you down before. But right now, you donât feel the baggage of your past. You donât feel like youâre performing a role. You donât feel emptiness or disconnection from things and people around you.Â
Perhaps this is when you start to really get to know who you are - as a professional, as a leader, as a potential artist⊠Maybe as a lover and someoneâs partner, too, as you take what Jungkook is giving you. This is when you get to know yourself as a person and what you can give to others and how much you can receive. This is when you get to know yourself outside of what you do and let it be about what you feel and think and enjoy.Â
This is when it could be about what you love. And perhaps this is when you learn what your heart could truly do, and you canât wait to explore all that with him.
âThank you,â you mumble, exhaling a sigh of relief once you feel his soft lips against your forehead. âIâm glad Iâm not doing this on my own.â
Jungkook just smiles, content on seeing that joy and calmness on your face. You stop him when he pulls you to finally leave the house, and you think thereâs one thing you can do for him this time.
You align his necktie, and while heâs been doing it correctly recently, you canât pass up on this part of your routine together.Â
He smiles again and kisses your hand in thanks, then he leads you to his car where he drives the half hour to your office, all while your fingers are intertwined with his. Itâs calming and everything you need before your big day, one that will start with a meeting to prepare you for your operations planning at the end of the week.Â
Jungkook pulls over on the street and faces you. And just as youâre about to kiss him goodbye, he tells you that thereâs something he wants to give you as an added gift.Â
You look at him in warning because you said you didnât want anything else.
âItâs nothing grand, I promise,â he chuckles, as he retrieves a bag from the backseat.Â
He hands it to you and you excitedly peek in, feeling a wave of emotion as you hold up a snake plant.Â
âI heard itâs good for positive energy,â he says to fill up the silence in the car.Â
Heâs right because you told him that. And heâs been taking care of the one on his office desk, the one that you gave him for his birthday. He also told you the other day that looking at it now makes him feel your presence, as if youâre rooting for him even when youâre not around. You suppose thatâs what heâs trying to tell you, too.
âIt is,â you smile. âI heard itâs also good at reminding its owner that someoneâs always there for them.â
âI can confirm that saying,â he chuckles.Â
You lean over and give him a soft kiss.Â
âThank you, Jungkook,â you smile, feeling the calmness wash over you.Â
âYouâre welcome,â he smiles back. âNow go. You canât be late on your first day.â
You laugh and open the door. âIâll see you tonight,â you say before walking out.Â
You turn back and wave him goodbye one last time.Â
Itâs quite symbolic, as you think about Jungkook as happiness, dropping you off at a new place that already gives you another kind of fulfillment. You used to think there was only one way to feel it, that it only consisted of one thing or person.Â
You realize that happiness could be in many forms, and that the feeling of connection and intimacy is alive, itâs ongoing, itâs a constant pursuit thatâs both tangible and elusive, and it requires vulnerability; it requires strength.Â
As you enter your new office and greet your new colleagues, and as you place the plant with the âgood luckâ note on it on your desk and retrieve the supplies that your former team gave you, you see all the things that connect you to your past and the ones that clarify your new present. Thereâs so much to learn and unlearn - how to be good to yourself is one of them, and you canât wait for that, too.
âMs. Cho,â a deep voice calls out.Â
You look at the man in front of you and you both share a brief moment of silence before bursting in laughter.
âIt feels weird,â Namjoon says. He straightens himself before turning to you again. â___,â he corrects. âMeeting time, letâs go.â
Itâs casual and comfortable and everything you need. You donât want the formalities either, and itâs this type of environment that you truly believe will make you better.Â
You follow him to the meeting room and thereâs a wave of nostalgia that hits you, especially once you start taking minutes that you shouldnât be doing anymore.Â
You laugh to yourself. Maybe thereâll always be that person in you, but you donât pity her anymore; in fact, you admire her. Itâs her strength and grace that got you here, and you know itâs the same things that will make you appreciate and protect and fight for all the things that you have now.Â
That includes your job. That includes yourself. And that definitely includes Jungkook.
END.
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the demonstration ; skz ; jeongin x reader
requested by anonymous: you keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up. â w Jeongin? đ© please đ„°.
requested by anonymous: I.N AND â do whatever you want with me, i'm yours. â â you taste like heaven. â PLEASE IF YOU CAN BEGGING YOU
pairing: yang jeongin/reader
content info: friends to lovers. reader asks jeongin if he has ever made someone squirt and if so please show her hehe. reader mentions a bad date with a rude guy who called her high-strung. squirting, pussy-eating, riding, just a good time lol. explicit sexual content.
word count: 4000 words.
masterlist.
part of the valentineâs day stories series.
credit to prompts. requests are closed.
enjoy <3
-
Jeongin is finally awake when you return to his apartment. You visited this morning but he must have had a late night because the flat was dark and silent when you let yourself in. You went for a stroll, hoping the fresh air would clear your mind, but what you really needed was him. A conversation with Jeongin always improves your mood. Just thinking about those deep dimples brings out your own smile. Â
âHi there,â you say sweetly. You close the door and replace your shoes with the slippers he keeps for you. You bound up to the kitchen counter. âCan I ask you something?â Â
Jeongin clearly just rolled out of bed. Far from glamourous, your nonetheless very handsome friend is wearing a hoodie and sweatpants and his black thick-rimmed glasses. He has the hood pulled over his head, his dishevelled black hair peeking out. A bowl of ramen sits in front of him, though his sleepy gaze is on his phone, long ringed fingers curled around the device.Â
You look at those fingers thoughtfully, your mouth a little drier than before. Maybe this isnât such a good idea after allâŠ
Itâs too late. Jeongin emerges from the slumped cavern of his hoodie, lifting his bespectacled face. He dutifully puts his phone facedown on the counter.  Pushing his sleeves to his elbows, he says, âOf course. Hi. How areââ He yawns before he can finish. The yawn breaks into a wheezy little laugh.  Â
You take the seat across from him at the kitchen island and watch him twirl his chopsticks. Nimble fingers flip them around before he digs into his noodles, slurping a little ungracefully.  He swallows almost half the bowl in a scoop. Your eyes are still on his hands.  Â
âJeongin,â you say. âHave you everâoh, no, thank you.âÂ
He is holding out a clump of noodles on his chopsticks. When you decline, he shoves it in his own mouth.Â
âJeongin,â you say again. âHave you ever made a girl squirt?â
He chokes on the noodles. It gets ugly quick. You emit a little squeak of your own when he thumps on his chest so hard that his hood falls back and his glasses fall off. He hacks up the noodles and spits some across the island.Â
âAre you okay?â you ask.   Â
âIâm fine,â he says in a rough voice, squinting hard like a beleaguered puppy. He fumbles with his glasses, blinking quickly once they are back on his face.  Then he reaches for his water bottle and unscrews it with a flick of his fingers. He rubs his chest while drinking.
You purse your lips, watching him. His profile is so defined, his jaw so sharp and cheekbones high. He really is ridiculously handsome. And those hands. You look at the prominence of the veins running down his forearm, the subtle strength in his slender form, the long easy grace of his fingers. If any man is turning women into waterfalls, it must be him.
âSo,â you say, âhave you ever done it?â
He chokes on his water, but not as dramatically as the noodles. Itâs a messy hiccup and he dribbles water down his chin, barely catching it in the cup of his hand. He puts the bottle aside and wipes his hand on his thigh.Â
âI donât think I understand the question,â he finally says.Â
âWhat? âHave you ever made a girl squirt?ââ you ask, tipping your head. âSorry, whatâs confusing?â
âUm.â He looks at you in bewilderment. âThe part where you are asking me it?âÂ
âOh.â A little â okay, a lot of embarrassed heat explodes in your chest. It radiates out with rapid-fire speed, scalding your neck and your face.Â
You lower your gaze. His dark eyes and expressive brows are now too intense for you. You fiddle with your fingers in your lap, thumbs pushing at each other.Â
âWell,â you say, slowly. You look anywhere but him. âSomething sort of happened.â
When you chance an upward glance, he is looking at you very studiously.  Â
âSort ofâŠâ he says, looking more confused by the second. âDid you⊠sort of⊠squirt?â
You cover your face, suddenly embarrassed beyond words. Why did this seem like a good idea again? You were so convinced a few minutes ago that this was a totally fine conversation to have with your friend. Now you want the floor to open up and swallow you whole.Â
You make a miserable little sound into your palms and Jeongin finally laughs. His whole face crinkles with delight and he laughs so hard that it sounds like he can barely breathe.
âDonât laugh at me!â you wail.Â
âIâm not, Iâm not,â he lies, because he is laughing his ass off while he says it. âCome on, itâs fine. Stop hiding.âÂ
He reaches across the counter for you. You jerk away, mewling pathetically, which just makes him laugh again. He eventually uses both hands to peel apart your death grip. You still avoid his gaze, staring down at the counter, but he dips his head to chase your eyes.Â
âThere you are,â he says when your gazes meet. âCrazy girl! Ask me again.âÂ
âI forgot the question,â you say, petulant.
He snorts. âI didnât,â he says. âYou wanted to know if I ever made a womanââ
âYes, I know what I asked!â you say, shaking your head. You see him smile, a giant grin of immense amusement as you tug at your cheeks in distress. âIâm sorry I asked. Itâs just thatâŠâ
âSomething sort of happened?â he supplies when you trail off.Â
âTechnically,â you say, âsomething sort of didnât happen.âÂ
âOhhh.â He returns to looking bashful, rubbing the back of his neck. âWere you⊠with⊠someone?â
âMhm.â You both look at the kitchen counter while you speak. âI had a date. I planned the whole thing out. You know me, I like a plan.â You try to laugh but a flood of humiliation washes over you, the recollection of last night and how everything went so, so wrong. You close your eyes and sigh. âUgh. It was going well so I brought him back to my place. Things got heated. He said he was really good at⊠doing that⊠I said I had never done it before and he got excited and said I would like it. I think I just⊠thought about it too much. You know me! I like a plan! That wasnât the plan! Anyway, we put a towel on the bed which is why it was even more embarrassing when I couldnât⊠when he couldnât make me⊠ugh.â You flop forward, pressing your forehead to the cold marble countertop. âHe called me high-strung and left.âÂ
You lift your head slowly, looking at Jeongin for his reaction. His expression is all scrunched up like he smells something bad. Then he gestures as if he is vomiting, making the noisy hurling sounds to match.Â
You laugh in spite of yourself, nodding.
âI know, I know, youâre right,â you say. âHe sucked.âÂ
âHigh-strung?â Jeongin says, the word tumbling out like a curse. âHe said that? PffftââÂ
You are glad you came to him. Your other friends would have been protective and encouraging, which is nice, but Jeonginâs helpless laughter is more reassuring than anything. That other guy was so pathetic that all Jeongin can do is laugh.Â
Even so, you do feel a little sensitive about the whole thing. You are smiling now but your gaze stays low. You trace circles on the counter.Â
âI know he⊠he was just embarrassed too. He was rude to me, but⊠he wasnât totally wrong.â
âNo,â Jeongin says, shaking his head. âNo, no, noââ
âYes, yes, yes,â you insist. You let him take your hands and squeeze, but you talk before he can interrupt. âLook he didnât exactly handle it well but I⊠I am a little⊠um, overly thoughtful at times. Iâm not good at doing things in the spur of the moment. It scares me and I think too much and once I start thinking I canât stop.â You let go of his hands, giving them one last friendly pat before you neatly fold your hands on the counter. âAnyway, I asked you what I did because I was hoping you could instruct me so I can practice. That way next time it happens, I wonât get scared and think so much.â
You smile at him.Â
He slowly takes his glasses off, his mouth open.Â
âOh,â he says. âOkay. Um.âÂ
âSoooo⊠have you?âÂ
The tips of his ears turn a vibrant red and he puts his reading glasses aside. He takes a second to rub his eyes with an incredible amount of vigour. You wait patiently and politely, watching him tug down the sleeves of his hoodie then push them back up. Those long fingers swipe through his hair once, twice. Finally, he crosses his arms and nods sharply.Â
âYes,â he says. âI have.âÂ
Oh.
The subject of your abstract thought suddenly becomes a tangible reality. You cannot get the unbidden mental image out of your head: Jeongin, knuckle-deep in the very wet, very soft heat of someone lucky, wringing every last bit of pleasure out of them. It is unexpectedly easy to imagine yourself in their place, his dark head between your thighs and his steady arm at work.Â
You cross your legs. He notices.Â
âWould you mind showing me?â you ask.Â
âShowing you?â he repeats, his thick eyebrows high on his face. âShowing you?âÂ
âYes,â you say. You are so preoccupied with your mental image that it takes a moment to realize your phrasing might be misconstrued. âNot like that!âÂ
He jumps in surprise.Â
âOh my god.â You put your hands over your face again. âI meant⊠abstractly. Draw it. Or tell me. I didnât meanâoh my goodness.â
His ears are still red but Jeongin dissolves into giggles again.  Your mortification works wonders on his dimples.Â
âIâm not very good at drawing,â he teases, patting you on the head.Â
âOh my goodness,â is all you manage.Â
His laughter is infectious, overpowering your embarrassment until you are giggling with him.Â
âIâm sorry,â you say when the laughter finally slows. You smile, chagrined and apologetic. âIt was a stupid question in the first place. Iâm really embarrassed.âÂ
âNo, donât be,â he says, waving his hand. âYou can tell me anything. I was just⊠surprised.â
âYeah, so was he,â you say, making both of you laugh again.Â
When the laughter subsides a second time, Jeongin sighs. He puts his discarded glasses back on, blinking his vision into his focus and smiling at you. After the last few minutes of conversation, that smiles gives you butterflies. You touch a hand to your stomach as if to still them, but they flutter away.Â
âI have an idea,â he says, holding out his hand.Â
âOh no,â you say but take that hand without hesitation. âAm I about to regret so many things?â
âWhat? No. When have I ever had a bad idea?â he asks while laughing, no doubt in recollection of every combined bad idea your friendship has conjured.Â
You can hardly judge him for any bad ideas, though, seeing as you waltzed in here today asking your friend if he had ever made someone squirt. It sounds very ridiculous in hindsight, but you truly do trust Jeongin so much that the idea seemed reasonable at the time.Â
Now you are in his bedroom, hovering by the bedside while he plops down on his bed with a sigh. He adjusts his glasses and the neck of his hoodie, like this is all protocol and not remotely unusual. He takes a pillow and lays it gingerly across his lap, then looks up and beckons you forward with the come-hither crook of two fingers. His smirk is suggestive but playful, just teasing you, but it awakens those butterflies again.Â
âCome on,â he says. âSit. Iâll, um, show you.â
âShow me?â you say, eying the pillow in his lap. âYang Jeongin, are you⊠about to defile that pillow?â
âYes,â he says, nodding solemnly. âWeâre gonna make it squirt.â
âYou know when I asked if you had ever done it before, I meant on a humanâŠâ
âWow! Iâm helping you with a visual demonstration and you insult meâ!â
âAha, Iâm sorry!â You burst into laughter at the incredulity on his face.  When he pushes the pillow off his lap with a show of dramatics, you wave your hands just as theatrically. âI mean it, I mean it,â you say, though your laughter contradicts the sincerity of your words. âPlease help me. Iâm sorry, hahaha, I was just teasing, I need your help, please!â
He tries to stand up but you block him, shuffling every time he leans. He finally grabs your hips to move you but you grab his shoulders. Your wrestling is a light-hearted tussle, but then he starts tickling you and you stand no chance of survival. You turn into a flailing, yelping mess, laughing as you spill across the bed with your arms around each other.  He tortures you another second, forcing another apology out of your mouth.Â
When it is over, you lay there, panting. He is leaning over you, his hands on your waist, yours on his shoulders.  Your friend likes to laugh but a very serious look crosses his face. He looks at you like he is studying you, discovering some detail for the first time even though he has known you for years. It is like you can feel his stare, a caress across your cheek, across your lips. You take your bottom lip into your mouth, wetting it.
He takes a slow, deep breath.Â
âThat man was crazy,â he says.  His voice is lower than before, scratching above a whisper.  âYouâre perfect. He just didnât care about getting to know you. And that sucks for him because youââ His voice breaks, the little squeak making him laugh, a small embarrassed sound. The tips of his ears are red and he avoids meeting your gaze. âYouâre beautiful,â he says, âinside and out. Any man would be lucky to be with you.âÂ
âJeongin,â you say softly, because what else can you say?Â
He meets your gaze. His mouth is open like he wants to say more but he can only stare at you. Eventually, he laughs. He rubs the back of his neck as he sits up straight. You sit up as well, staring at him while he adjusts his glasses.Â
âRight,â he says. âThe, uh, the pillow. I, umâŠâ
It might have been amusing, watching him poke a pillow suggestively. But you no longer care about that. The energy in this room has changed, the whole world melting under the power of his words, changing the very shape of this space. When you take a breath, all you smell is his cologne, masculine and smoky, all you see is your friend, in his hoodie and glasses with his blushing cheeks, and all you want is him. Like this. Right now.Â
He reaches for the pillow and you reach for him. You take his hand and he looks at you, blinking with surprise.Â
You turn his hand over. He really does have nice hands, long fingers, deft and strong. You measure it against your own. Then you guide his hand to your lips and kiss the tips of his fingers. You look at him, making your eyes big, your lashes fluttering.Â
âOh,â he says. âOh.â
You laugh. He cups your face and draws you close and you are both smiling when your lips come together. Despite his blush, the kiss is ravishing. You find yourself gasping for a breath, whimpering when he sucks your bottom lip.Â
âLay down please,â he says, speaking against your mouth.Â
You nod. Those butterflies are wild inside you. You are certain you already look like an unravelled mess, laying on your back and breathing hard.Â
He leans over you, catching your hand when you reach for him.  He kisses your palm, your fingers bumping his glasses, making you giggle. He smiles too, the kiss lingering. Your whole arm tingles even when he stops. He guides your hand above your head, curling your fingers around the bars of his headboard.Â
âYou keep your hands where they are or I'll tie them up,â he says, but laughs at your surprised expression before the words can settle.  âYou said yourself, you think too much,â he explains. âJust lay there.  Donât move. Donât think.  Let me take care of you.â  He puts a leg between yours, pushing forward with his hips to guide yours apart. He fits there perfectly, pressing his body against yours. Your breath catches.  âYou can trust me,â he says, and somehow that gets you going more than any sexy come-on.
You trust him more than anyone. You did not hesitate coming to him with an embarrassing story. You ran to him before anyone else. You always seek him out first.
You know you are safe in his hands.Â
âDo whatever you want with me,â you say. You never make that sort of offer, but it feels so natural here and now. With him. âIâm yours.â
âWhatever I want?â he says, his smile big and dimples deep.  He leans down, kissing your cheek then under your jaw. When he kisses your throat, it is hot, open-mouthed kiss, all teeth and tongue. It sends sparks shooting down your whole body, your hips bucking. He is strong, the weight of him between your legs pinning you to the mattress. You feel him, firm, hard, his whole body riding the rhythm of yours. Â
He has not even undone a single button.Â
âWhatever I want,â he repeats. âThatâs a big offer.âÂ
His hands, those gorgeous hands that had you captivated, slide up your thighs and under your skirt. He stares down into your face while lifting the material, leaving a trail of goosebumps all the way up your thighs. You feel yourself clench, a sharp pulse of need in your core.  Your body is thoughtless in its hunger and it feels so good to give into it.Â
âSometimes,â he says, âall I think about this⊠nothing extreme⊠just you like this⊠just us togetherâŠâ
Every breath of a phrase is punctuated with a kiss, down your chest, your stomach, your thighs. You are not expecting him to kiss you through your underwear, your hips bucking when he opens his mouth and ravishes you regardless of the barrier. When you have soaked through the flimsy material, he finally hooks his pinkies into the fabric and tugs it down.Â
You do not have time to be shy, just desperate to get them off. He pushes your thighs back, folding you in half, then goes back to eating your pussy like he has all the time in the world, like there is no where he would rather be. Your legs shake, your toes curling, body held firmly in his capable hands as he licks you hungrily.Â
âJeongin,â you gasp.Â
âYou taste like heaven,â is his reply.Â
It is so cheesy but it makes you laugh, a happy sound that rumbles in your chest, that couples with pleasure and leaves your whole body singing. You feel like you could float away.Â
You are pliant, soft and malleable in his hands. He really can do anything with you. It does not scare you one bit. You trust him, following his direction when he rolls you onto your side. You gasp at his hand sliding under your shirt, squeezing your breasts, finding every sensitive nerve as he feels you up.Â
âDonât think,â he says, one arm around your chest and the other sliding down between your legs. âJust feel, okay?âÂ
âMmm,â is your only reply.Â
You are so ready for him, wound up from his dirty kisses, taut with tension. By the time those long fingers are inside you, it feels like completion rather than intrusion. He fits like he belongs there, curling his fingers against places you never knew were sensitive. It is like your body gives way, revealing all your secrets to his searching touch.Â
âThatâs it,â he says when your breathing gets erratic.Â
You did not even realize he had found somewhere extra sensitive, not until he is already fucking it slowly. By the time you realize just how soft you are there, it is too late to brace yourself. He adds another finger and your body tightens around him. Your eyes close and you see stars, gasping and rocking and almost crying at the dizzying swirl of sensation.Â
âOh, Jeongin,â you say. His name is all you say for another minute. It is the sound on your lips when he moves you, when he turns his hand just slightly, when the new angle sets off a chain reaction of feeling. You cry out, clenching sporadically around his rapidly moving fingers. You yank a corner of the bedspread right off the mattress.
Your orgasm seems to go on forever, pulsing and aching and clenching. Your whole body feels boneless by the time it settles and he slips his fingers free.Â
âOops,â he says, adjusting his skewed glasses with his clean hand. âShouldâve put a towel down after all.âÂ
You look down and whimper at the obvious wetness on his bedsheets.  You would apologize but he does not look sorry at all. In fact, he grins, looking very satisfied with himself.Â
You are in a state of utter disarray and he is still fully clothed, having shattered your world with just one hand. It makes you laugh, giddy.Â
Your arms finally drop. Though it takes a minute, you find a little strength and push yourself up. He is smiling when you climb into his lap. He even winks at you when he puts his wet fingers in his mouth.Â
You open your mouth too. You hold his gaze while he puts his fingers in your mouth, his breath catching when you suck them eagerly.Â
âI want something more,â you say.Â
âDo whatever you want with me,â he echoes your words back to you. âIâm yours.âÂ
He is right about the simplest fantasy making for a wonderous reality. There are no expectations of any over-the-top actions; it is enough it is you and him, together.  Clothing ends up scattered around his room, then you are in his lap and he is holding your waist, and you are holding the bars behind his head as you ride him where he sits against the headboard.Â
His glasses get askew but you fix them, laughing against his smile before kissing him again.  It is for nothing because they fall off a second later, when he grabs you and moves, putting you on your back to fuck you at another angle.  He slides a hand between you, rubbing at you, working you up. Your head falls back, your whole body tingling with the approach of another orgasm.Â
âYes, yes,â he says, no doubt feeling you get tight around him. It is his moaning that sets you off, your legs around his hips, pulling him in close as you come together.Â
He kisses all over your face, both of you laughing when he slightly misses your lips. You find his glasses and put them back on him, meeting his re-focussed gaze and smiling.Â
âWas that an okay demonstration?â he teases. âLike I said, Iâm not very good at drawing.âÂ
âMaybe so,â you tease back, running your fingers through his hair. âI might need another one. Just to be sure.âÂ
âJust to be sure,â he says, nodding very sagely. âGood idea. Maybe after that, Iâll take you out to dinner. Then we better come back here and try again.â
âJust to be sure,â you say.Â
âJust to be sure,â he agrees.Â
You are already smiling when he kisses you.Â
You have never been more sure about anything in your life.Â
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On Cloud Nine : ÌÌâ Carlos Sainz
summary: your hundreds of miles away when you get the call, desperate to be at carlosâ bedside as soon as possible
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
liked by carlossainz55, ybffusername and 593,606 others
ynusername: new york, new york đœđ
39,403 comments
carlossainz55: I miss you so much, hurry up home! đ©·
username1: these photos look amazing, new york is definitely my dream one day
charles_leclerc: hope youâre having the best time, btw carlos is definitely lost without you
carmenmmundt: I canât wait to hear all about this when I see you next âșïž
username2: next time take me with you omg
landonorris: youâll go anywhere to get away from carlos wonât you?? đ
ynusername: @/landonorris donât spoil all my secrets đ€«
carlossainz55: @/ynusername it all makes sense now đ
username3: wow new york looks insane yn đ€©
Ë*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*ËïŒ
ynusername posted two stories
caption 1: get me home asap!!
caption 2: đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 738,504 others
ynusername: hi everyone, with carlosâ permission I wanted to share with you all that his operation this morning was successful and heâs recovering well. he also asked me to post a nice photo of him with this to remind you all just how handsome he actually he is đ
Iâm exhausted from rushing here, but just glad to be by his side as he starts the road to recovery đ
78,503 comments
username4: sending carlos so much love - thank you for the update yn đ«¶đ»
username5: poor carlos đđ
landonorris: tell me he still looks as handsome as ever to me!
maxverstappen1: get plenty of rest and see you back on the track carlos!
username6: only carlos would still care about his appearance despite being minutes out of surgery
username7: Iâm just glad yn was there to be by his side for when he woke up đ
username8: heâs got the best partner there to take care of him đ„°
alexandrasaintmleux: you guys know where I am if you need anything â€ïžâ€ïž
pierregasly: imo heâs never looked better đ
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liked by danielricciardo, ynusername and 2,492,505 others
carlossainz55: thanks for all the support guys, pleased to say all is good and Iâm recovering well so far. gutted to miss the race but Iâll be back on the track soon! biggest thanks goes to yn for dropping everything and travelling halfway around the world to be here with me - she makes a brilliant nurse đđ
103,592 comments
username9: how do you manage to look so good even whilst in hospital??
username10: weâre so pleased to see youâre on the mend carlos, take all the time you need đ„°
landonorris: stop flashing your stomach for sympathy đđ
username11: that looks so painful, hope youâre okay carlos!!
danielricciardo: made of tough stuff bro, see you real soon!
charles_leclerc: itâs not the same without you here đđ
carlossainz55: @/charles_leclerc do me proud my friend â€ïž
username12: it breaks my heart seeing these photos
ynusername: couldnât have timed this better, could you? đ just glad that youâre on the mend, ily đ
carlossainz55: @/ynusername only thanks to you and the care that you give me đ©·
username13: donât rush, take your time, your fans will wait for you!
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liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 893,201 others
ynusername: carlos being at home resting has its perks đ„đ€©
39,124 comments
username14: stfu Iâm so jealous
carlossainz55: youâre lucky Iâve got all this free time on my hands â€ïž
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 turns out there are some perks to having your appendix taking out đ
charles_leclerc: Iâm already omw save some for me!!!
username15: welcome back boyfriend carlos aesthetic đ«¶đ»
username16: all I want is to taste just one of carlosâ pancakes one day
alex_albon: next time we double date these have to me on the menu
ynusername: @/alex_albon there wonât be any complaints from me
username17: Iâm happy to third wheel this date night btw
username18: THEYRE JUST SO FLUFFY
username19: @/username18 the pancakes or the hair???
username18: @/username19 EVERYTHING đ
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,859,120 others
carlossainz55: back on the course doing what I love, an easy eighteen holes đđ»âłïž
49,604 comments
ynusername: um I donât think this is quite what the consultant meant when he said easy exercise đ€
carlossainz55: @/ynusername what he doesnât know wonât hurt him!!
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 canât wait to throw you under the bus at your next appointment đ
username20: we always knew it wouldnât be long before carlos was back playing golf
landonorris: if yn is that worried about you, I guess next time Iâll just have to come with youâŠto look after you ofc
carlossainz55: @/landonorris Iâm supposed to be taking it easy, you stress me out đ
username21: poor yn must be so stressed looking after carlos
charles_leclerc: of all the sports you choose to go and play golf đââïž
username22: imagine telling one of the most active people in the world that they have to rest
username23: counting down the days until heâs back out on his bike đŹ
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liked by alex_albon, ynusername and 1,695,207 others
carlossainz55: back to full power soon, stepping up the recovery and fully focused on being back in the car soon đȘđ»
50,402 comments
username24: gym photos of carlos never get old
username25: and there he is back on the bike again đ
ynusername: hmmm this looks more like the exercise youâre supposed to be doing đ
carlossainz55: @/ynusername đđđ€«
username26: if you need something to lift Iâm happy to offer my services
landonorris: damn youâre putting me to shame sharing these carlos đ
username27: I actually just squealed in excitement seeing these, now everyoneâs staring at me
username28: yn is one lucky lucky girl wtf
alex_albon: ffs stop showing off how ripped you are
georgerussell63: at least go all the way and take the shirt off jeez
carlossainz55: @/georgerussell63 not all of us are as vain as you!!
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liked by ynusername, charles_leclerc and 2,403,705 others
carlossainz55: I should have more operations if this is what happens đ so proud to be p1 in aus, thank you for all the support â€ïžđïž
103,392 comments
username29: youâre a machine, weâre so proud of you!!
landonorris: booking an appointment to get my appendix taken out as we speak đ«Ą
username30: how do you do it??
ynusername: words fail meâŠyouâre just the best đ«¶đ»đ
username31: proud is an understatement to describe how I feel about this
danielricciardo: hats off to you sir that was one hell of a drive
charles_leclerc: I never realised I actually had a superhero for a teammate đ
username32: this is the least you deserve after what youâve been through
username33: to race like that whilst still in pain just blows my mind
maxverstappen1: huge congrats carlos, one hell of a race đȘđ»
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 792,032 others
ynusername: on cloud nine âïž after the trickiest couple of weeks you come back and pull this outta the bag - Iâm so proud of you my love! đ©·
27,493 comments
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ËËË đđđđđđđđđđ ! ÂŽËË
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Sunshine [2]- Summer Breeze
AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs on the first chapter! â€ïž You're amazing! â€ïž
I hope you like this as well, and please don't forget to tell me what you think, thank you! đ„°
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: Summer breeze can be enchanting.
Word Count: 3464
Series Masterlist
There were some days that you just knew it wouldnât be a good day, and today was exactly one of these days.
It wasnât because it was Monday morning and you had slept through your alarm. It wasnât because while taking the fastest shower of your life you realized you had run out of body wash.
It was because while driving Theo to school your car had broken down, and though you didnât know much about mutant schools, you were pretty sure that they cared about punctuality just like any other school.
âIsnât this fun, bean?â you asked as you walked with Theoâs hand in yours through the gates, pretending you werenât stressed out at all so that he would have a good day. âItâs like weâre explorers.â
âIt is!â he said, looking around the vast of greenery surrounding you. âProfessor X says the mansion was built ages and ages ago.â
âAges and ages ago?â you asked with a gasp, his backpack slung over your shoulder. âReally?â
âYes! And Ralph says if we tried to explore the grounds, it would take us a week!â
âWhoâs Ralph?â
âHeâs my friend,â he said. âHe can breathe underwater!â
âWow,â you said. âThatâs impressive.â
âIsnât it?â he asked, excitement laced in his voice. âHe said he saw so many pretty fish in the lakeâmommy, can we get a pet fish? Wait no, can we get two?â
âUmâŠâ you trailed off while you approached the mansion with him, students running around in the yard. âWhy two?â
âBecause we canât get just one, heâd get bored without a friend!â Theo insisted as the roar of a motorcycle reached you. âCan we get a really big aquarium? Ralph says fish need huge aquariums.â
âWe canât get a huge aquarium, bean,â you said, crouching down to fix his hair and he pulled his brows together.
âBut why not?â
âBecause.â
âBut why not?â
âBecause we have no place to put a big aquarium in,â you said patiently and he pouted.
âIâd keep it in my room!â
âBean.â
âTheyâd keep you company when Iâm here and you come home from work! You said we couldnât get a dog, but fish donât need a yard or anything, just an aquarium!â
âBean, thatâs notâŠâ
âI already have names for them both!â he insisted, making you pull your brows together. âThe orange one will be Cheeto, and the white one will be Popcorn.â
âVery creative my love, butââ
âPlease!â he said. âPlease please please? Iâll take care of them when Iâm home, I promise!â
âTheo,â you said. âItâs time for your class. Apologize to your teacher for being late, and tell them the car broke down, okay? They can call me if theyââ
âGood morning Mr. Wolverine sir!â Theo smiled at someone behind you and you turned your head to look over your shoulder, your heartbeat speeding up as soon as you did.
Oh.
Alright, so as it turned out, you werenât daydreaming last week and he was in fact as hot as you remembered.
The leather jacket he was wearing fit him perfectly, making you gawk at his broad figure for a moment before you remembered to look up at his handsome face, but that seemed to make your heartbeat even faster so you shot him a small smile and averted your gaze from him to Theo quickly.
âLogan is fine, bub,â he told Theo and Theo nodded so eagerly that his glasses slipped down his nose, making you reach out to fix them.
âOkay Mr. Logan sir,â he said. âMommy, if we get an aquariumââ
âWeâll talk about it later bean,â you said as you slipped his backpack off your shoulder and helped him put his arms through the straps. You straightened your back at the same time he reached back to open the zipper of the backpack, the simple motion making him stumble backwards but Logan had already grabbed him by the backpack with one hand and lifted him up in the air to put him back on his feet, Theo letting out a cheerful âwhee!â.
âThanks,â you murmured and ruffled Theoâs hair. âStraight to the class, come on.â
Theo gave you a bright smile, then hugged your legs before turning around to run through the hallway.
âTheo donâtââ you started but heaved a sigh. âGreat.â
You could hear Logan huff out a chuckle and you swallowed thickly, then turned to look at him better, the fluttering in your stomach getting even worse upon seeing his gaze on you.
âHi.â
âHey,â he said and you took a deep breath, shifting your weight.
âIt wasâit was nice to see you,â you stammered, taking a step past him but stopped when you heard him say your name. The fact that he had remembered your name wasnât supposed to make your chest tingle, you were sure of it, but you didnât even try to stop the tentative smile pulling at your lips.
âYes?â you asked, blinking up at him and he stared at you, then frowned like he was trying to pull himself together.
âYour car broke down?â
âUm, yeah,â you said, pointing at the yard. âLike a mile down the road.â
âYou walked here?â
âUh huh,â you said, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. âI donât mind, really. Iâll just go back to the car and call my friend, she knows a guy so Iâm like ninety percent sure I can get out of it without having to declare bankruptcyââ
âI can fix it,â he said, motioning at the motorcycle. âLetâs go.â
Your eyes widened and you gawked at him for a moment, then scoffed a nervous laugh and waved a hand in the air.
âOh no no, thereâs no need toâŠâ you trailed off. âPlease, Iâd hate to be a bother.â
âYouâre not,â he said, already walking to the bike and you lingered there for a moment before rushing to catch up with his long strides.
âAre you sure itâs okay?â you asked him. âSeriously, if youâre busy or anything, I donât thinkââ
âIâm not busy.â
âAnd your motorcycle looks like a one-person type of motorcycle, I can just walk if youââ
âAre you always this polite, princess?â
Well, that was a sure way to shut you up. Your breath caught in your throat, your head spinning for a moment because of how fast adrenaline rush hit you, warmth blooming in your chest.
ââŠYeah,â you said after a pause. âBites me in the ass most of the time.â
The corners of his mouth twitched and he grabbed the only helmet on the back of the motorcycle, then held it out, making you snap out of your thoughts.
âYou?â you asked and he shook his head.
âI donât need it.â
You took the helmet from him to put it on before he got on the bike and started the engine, and almost automatically your hand shot up to your lips but it hit the helmet, making you grimace. You dug your fingernails into your palms before unclenching your hands again, then got on the bike as well, slowly wrapping your arms around his torso. He took a deep breath as if he had just smelled something sweet, then cleared his throat.
âYouâre gonna have to hold on tighter than that.â
âOh I donât want to accidentally hurt you,â you said, and the simple sentence managed to coax a chuckle out of him. He turned his head sideways to look at you out of the corner of his eye, your cheeks burning before he turned his head again and the engine roared before it sped off down the road, the movement making you gasp and hold onto him tighter to make sure you wouldnât fall down.
Fine, maybe today was a good one after all.
Back in high school -and the first year of college-, you had never understood why people were into motorcycle. If anything, they looked rather uncomfortable, not to mention incredibly dangerous, and if it rained it would rain on them, and it would be cold and wet and just unpleasant but nowâ
Now, hanging onto Logan as the wind whipped around you, trees wheezing past, you were starting to get the appeal.
Logan stopped the motorcycle when you pointed at your car parked at the side of the road, and you pulled back from him even if you didnât want to, then got off the bike, taking your helmet off and fixing your hair in a haste.
âI didnât die,â you announced, making him shoot you an amused glance. âThatâs nice.â
âThat was the expectation?â he asked as you both made your way to your car and you nodded.
âKind of?â you said, unlocking the car before Logan lifted the hood up to look inside, then tilted his head.
âHold on,â he muttered and he started unbuttoning his flannel, making your eyes widen. Your heart climbed up to your throat, a sudden warmth swirling your insides and when he slipped his flannel to reveal his very tight white shirt underneath, you gulped, unable to drag your gaze away from him. He didnât even need to hear your heartbeat, your flustered state was clear as day and your brain recognized him saying something you didnât even hear with a couple of seconds delay, making your head snap up.
âHuh?â
A cocky smirk curled his lips and you shifted your weight.
âI was umâI was thinking about something,â you stammered and his smirk widened.
âUh huh,â he said. âIâm gonna go under the car for a moment.â
Never in your entire life had you wanted to be a car more.
âI donât know if I have that lifter thingââ you started, trying to pull your thoughts together but before you could even finish your sentence, he had already reached down underneath the bumper and lifted the car a bit to get under, making your jaw drop.
Oh alright, so this was justâŠ
You were just fantasizing about him and this whole thing in general, that was the only explanation you could possibly come up with. Any minute now, your alarm would start blaring and you would wake up and go to work with no sign of a very specific, incredibly hot and strong guy.
Jesus, he looked like that and he could lift a car?
âUmâLogan are you okay down there?â you asked, approaching the car to bend down a little. âDo you need help?â
âNope,â he said, his voice not even strained as if he wasnât holding up the car with one hand. âJust checking something.â
âThe car isnât gonna fall on you, right?â
âNo, Iâm holding it.â
âYeah because thatâs the normal answer to that question,â you said, nodding your head. âSure. Uh, another question, how do you know you can in fact hold up a car? As in, have you tried this before? Because if you die, not only will I be very sad but also I will go to jail and I donât think Iâd survive there, I watched a lot of shows like that and I like flavored coffee a bit too much, and I also donât know whoâd be taking care of Theoââ
âRelax princess,â he cut off your rambling with a chuckle. âItâs fine.â
You hoped your hormones wouldnât get the best of you and by the time he got out from under the car, you wouldnât be checking Pinterest for wedding venues but before you could even grab your phone, you heard a car coming to a stop behind you, making you look over your shoulder. The man inside looked you up and down, making you shift your weight, discomfort hitting you out of nowhere as you clenched and unclenched your fists.
You recognized that look just fine.
âHey there,â he said with a small grin. âCar problems?â
You plastered a well-practiced polite smile on your face. âYeah but itâs fine, thank you.â
âGet in, I can drive you to the nearest station.â
âUm no sir, thank you,â you said. âIâm actually handling it.â
âOh come on now,â he said. âDonât worry, Iâm not a bad guy. Just being helpful.â
You opened your mouth to answer, but before you could say anything else, the car groaned as Logan lifted it a little and got out from under it. You didnât even need to turn your head to know he was glaring at the man, the look of complete fear crossing the manâs face was enough of a clue and you bit back your smile, raising your brows at him while Logan stood at full height behind you, towering over you.
âShe said sheâs handling it,â he said, his deep growl making your heart do a happy flip and you nodded.
âThank you though!â you said with the most customer service level of cheerful voice you could muster without bursting into laughter and the manâs eyes went from you to him, and he gulped down.
âYeâyeah okay,â he said and drove off, making you let out a giggle and turn to look up at Logan.
âI think you scared him off.â
Logan glared at the direction the man drove off as if he was genuinely contemplating whether to go after him or not, then gritted his teeth and glanced down at you.
âYou okay?â
âSure,â you said. âI have a knife in the glove compartment, just in case. Theo isnât allowed to open it.â
He shook his head slightly, then went to the motorcycle to grab a couple of tools, wiping the motor oil on his hands onto his shirt. You had to physically force yourself to look up at the sky just so that you could stop the sound threatening to spill from your lips, then rubbed at your eyes as he started working on the car. You lingered in your spot for a moment, then opened the car door to climb up to sit on the roof of the car, making him glance at you over the hood.
âWhat are you doing?â
âIâm keeping you company,â you said with a shrug of your shoulders. âItâs easier to talk like this.â
He didnât comment on it, instead returned back to what he was doing and you pressed your lips together, keeping your gaze on him.
âSo howâs the crying going?â he asked and you scrunched up your nose.
âItâs going well actually, thank you for asking,â you told him. âI already cried this morning soâŠâ
âWhy?â
âThere was this cat video,â you said. âIt was so adorable. I keep telling Theo he canât have a pet, I need to remind myself that as well.â
âHe wants a fish now?â
âHe wants to have a lot of animals,â you told him. âHe wants a dog and a cat and now fish. Apparently, his new friend told him there are many pretty ones in the lake, and Iâm glad heâs making friends but Iâm gonna be so screwed when he finds one who can talk to like, horses or something.â
He scoffed a laugh. âHe made friends pretty easily.â
âOh he could make friends in an empty room.â
âHe got that from you or his father?â
âMe,â you said, barely aware of the proud tone in your voice. âHe gets everything from me, or at least thatâs what Iâve been told.â
âYeah?â
âMm hm,â you said, nodding your head. âBut I mean, it makes sense when you think about it, consideringâŠâ
Loganâs gaze on you was almost too hot. âHeâs not around?â
You bit at your thumb, shaking your head. âNo.â
Thankfully.
âUm, how about you?â you asked, trying to change the topic. âWhat do you do when youâre not fixing cars and scaring off creeps? Do you teach at school?â
âSometimes,â he said. âI work for Charles.â
âAs a teacher?â
âNot necessarily.â
You pulled your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on top of them, your arms wrapping around legs.
âAn open book, arenât you?â you asked, making him chuckle.
âMm, pretty much.â
âNow why would a mysterious man give such short answers?â
He shot you a mischievous smile. âProbably the same reason why a pretty girl would ask so many questions.â
Your heart skipped a happy beat as you felt your cheeks burn, and you had to resist the urge to bury your face to your knees with a squeal so you bit down on your lip, smiling at him. He held your gaze for a moment, making fire spread through your veins before he nodded at you.
âYou mind if I try to start it?â
âOh go ahead,â you said, and he got into your car, then you heard him slide the driverâs seat back to adjust it to his height. âBut I had the mechanic check the car like a month ago, so I donât really thinkâŠâ
You stopped talking immediately when you heard the roar of the engine as it came to life and a gasp left your lips.
âAre you serious?â you exclaimed while Logan got out of the car and you slid off the roof to jump to the ground.
âYeah, the next time it happens, justââ he was cut off when you flung yourself to him to hug him tight.
âThank you thank you thank you!â you said with a huge smile. âSeriously Logan, you saved my life!â
 A small chuckle escaped from his lips and his arm sneaked around your waist, and if you didnât know if better, you couldâve sworn he tilted his head down to get closer to your hair and took a deep breath.
âNot a problem,â he said, his deep voice vibrating in his chest and all of a sudden all your senses were filled with him; his warm body against yours, the pleasant scent of leather, smoke and pine in your lungs, his voice in your ears. You swallowed thickly, your heartbeat getting faster as you forced yourself to pull back, then craned your head up to look at him.
âSorry!â you said. âSorry IâmâŠme and my friend took this test and apparently my love language is physical touch and Iâm not very sure about it really because I kind of feel like itâs a scam but also is it though, because I used to have a cat when I was little and um, I refused to put her down, I always carried her everywhere so that I could hug her all the time and weirdly enough she liked it, which you wouldnât expect from a cat most of the time butâumââ you paused. âSorry about that.â
âNo problem,â he said, his intense gaze pinning you to your spot and you nibbled on your lip, then willed yourself to take a step back, your hand shooting up to your mouth again.
âHowâhow do I repay you?â
He shot you a reprimanding look. âYou donât.â
âNo but seriously,â you insisted. âThere has to be something.â
That had sounded more grateful and less like a porn dialogue in your head.
âItâs nothing,â he said. âChange your mechanic though, seems like the engine hasnât been checked in a while.â
âOkay,â you said, forcing yourself to lower your hand. âThank you. Again.â
âMy pleasure,â he said with a small smile and you lingered in your spot for a moment, then got in the car, almost falling on your ass since he had slid the seat back to adjust it to his height. You cleared your throat, trying to keep it cool as you slid it forward, and as soon as the brochures on the dashboard caught your eye, you reached out to grab one and looked up at Logan out the open window.
âI found a way to thank you,â you said with a proud smile, your heart was beating in your throat. âI work at this diner, you should drop by. Itâll be on the house, and the pie is amazing.â
A small smirk curled his lips as he eyed the brochure you were holding up.
âYou sure about that?â he asked. âIf you feed me, I might come back.â
The warmth bloomed underneath your skin as your smile widened.
âLooking forward to it,â you said, raising the brochure just a little and he chuckled, then took the brochure from you.
âDrive safe,â he said, patting the roof of the car and you nodded your head.
âSee you around, Logan,â you said before you drove off, checking him out from the rear mirror until you slowed down at the road junction, then turned the car and let out a breath, trying to keep your attention on the road.
âOh fuck,â you muttered to yourself. âFuck, heâs too hot.â
[3] - Downpour
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Tender Mornings
you know it's a good day when the first sight you're greeted with is azriel sprawled out so beautifully on your bed.
áŠÂ pairing: azriel x fem!readerÂ
áŠÂ warnings: very loosely cannonical pls don't ask i live in my dreams, fluff after fluff in your face, theyâre MATED AND MARRIED!! đ„° touchy azriel
"Good morning, handsome."
Your voice murmurs into Azriel's ears early in the morning, waking him out of his peaceful slumber. It's a quiet day, and definitely not the kind of quiet you'd be alerted by, hackles raised and ears perked for signs of danger. No, this was peace. The birds are chirping and the distant sounds of city bustle has just begun its routine, and you can't help but stare at your mate, the absence of fine lines on his forehead creating one of the most endearing pictures in your mind.
Honestly, you don't know how you've managed to slip out of his iron grip a few hours ago. Even his shadows had been relatively calm. But you pieced it to him finally getting his well-deserved sleep after a grueling week of running around as spymaster for Night Court. He'd almost collapsed right on top of you on the couch the moment he got home at the dead of night, practically purring under you into a dreamless sleep while you ran your hands through his hair. You love it when he's just Azriel with you. Not the deadly shadowsinger with eyes that could kill, but the one snoring himself away in your shared bed, wings splayed out without a care in this world.
As he opens his eyes blearily, he can make out your soft fingers on his face, warm and comforting as your thumb strokes his cheek, squatting down on the floor beside his edge of the bed. It's an awfully good morning whenever you're there to wake him up, which isn't often considering how light of a sleeper Azriel is. It's one of the rare times that he had a fully undisturbed 8 hours of sleep, with no nightmares plaguing his visions.Â
He smiles, seeing your face first thing. Gods, he would die over and over again if this was the sight he woke up to each time.
Noticing his expression, your grin widens as you lift your other hand from laying on the sheets, cradling his face and brushing your nose against his, closing your eyes as you breathe in your mate, all the while feeling the bond pulsate like a well-known bliss inside your chest. The golden band on your left ring finger glints wonderfully in the morning sun, the rays illuminating it as if it were a halo wrapped around your skin. The ring is a dainty but simple thing, its surface raised with signature Night Court swirls and stars, the pattern a twin to the bargain marks painting your sternumâthe one that you made with Azriel the day of your ceremony with promises to love and protect, even beyond death.
It was an unusual thing to have around in Pythian, considering it was a human tradition.Â
You and Azriel picked up the custom after learning it from a mission the two of you went to a long time ago in the human lands. Of course, it wasn't like either of you needed conventional items to show your relationship, knowing the Mother had already blessed you with one of magic, something so deeply sacred that transcended both words and worlds. Still, you thought that the piece of gold represented a beautiful message. It told the story of your battles and triumphs, the countless suffering and victories that got you to where you were, being able to hold the hand of your fated mate, rings clinking and echoing the bells that rung in your mating ceremony. No distance could ever separate you. And most of all, it reminded you every waking day of the way Azriel accepted you as his, as someone who loved him through thick and thin, someone who he would kill and die for.
You were always a victim of sentiment, and neither you nor Azriel could deny the pride the two of you felt seeing each other's ringsâthe way it felt like a claim over each other, physical proof of your love beyond words.
When Feyre met the Inner Circle for the first time, she became an addition to the people who appreciated the symbol. You were confused at first, wondering why the Cursebreaker was staring at you so deeply. Then you saw the way her eyes never wavered from your hand, the one that was brushing against Azriel's scarred ones as he softly reciprocated up and down against your fingers. It had honestly been centuries since the two of you mated that you sometimes forget you were wearing a ring, the weight of it so familiar that it became a part of your body.Â
She'd told you one day how in awe and warm she felt seeing the two of you wearing your rings. It indeed was a rare sight, and in her heart she understood what it meant. Even if she hadn't been familiar with mating bonds, Feyre knew what wedding yourself to someone entailed, and for the one of the first times in a while she had smiled so brightly, sharing a nod that only the three of you seemed to understand.
Funnily enough, Rhys told you that even before she noticed the rings and the affection, Feyre had read Azriel up and down as being utterly in love with you. The Azriel whisperer. Guess it wasn't hard to notice the pure adoration pouring out of his eyes at the mere thought of you.
"I thought I'd let you sleep in for a bit before I go, I know it's been a rough week for you baby."
"I love you." That was the first thing he uttered, overwhelmed with the feeling. He could hear, feel and see your thoughtsâones of your ceremony. You never did block him off from your side of the bond, and it had really only been silent if he was out on a critical mission. Azriel loved it. Every side of you. Whenever you got frustrated, sad or jumping with joy, he celebrated in the knowledge that you were his and his only. That you were healthy and alive through all your emotions.Â
Now he basked into the memory of your mating ceremony centuries ago, his own heart following yours as it took him through every single thought and emotion that was felt proudly through your perspective. Cauldron, he felt so loved. Awakened and reborn every time he remembered that day.
I love you too, you uttered through the bond, giggling as he brought you up off the floor, setting you on top of him like you were a piece of paper. His hand on your waist comforted you like no other, the warmth so familiar. The shadows slithered all around you in an almost child-like nature, prodding at your cheeks and shoulders. They were always so delightful around you, pretty much accepting you as their own mistress ever since you and Az mated. You stayed there for a while, laying one side of your head on his chest while you closed your eyes and followed his heartbeat, enjoying the melody it followed.Â
The burst of shared happiness in you grew until a smile lit up on your face and you looked up from your position to him, climbing up his body and cradling his head in your arms, squeezing gently as you squealed when he began tickling the sides of your waist. You felt Azriel nosing the skin of your neck, breathing in your scent that had been so beautifully intertwined with his over the years.Â
You loved moments like this, when the two of you didn't have to speak out loud, all the feelings simply existing.
After a calming while, you begrudgingly had to get up from your comfort, remembering why you were up early in the first place. Though, you had only made one inch of movement before you felt Az's arms locking themselves behind your back, face attaching back to his rightly earned place on the supple skin of your chest. And in times like these, you truly thanked the mother for blessing you with a mate who rivaled you in clinginess. It was dangerous when Azriel got like this. Difficult was an understatement to how it felt trying to get out of his arms, knowing his Illyrian training and position in Rhysand's court fully translated to his strength and state of his (godly) physique. Even your family had commented on how soft Azriel was when it came to you, now used to the image of the male having his arms and wingsâor any part of his body reallyâagainst yours at all times.
You gently tapped the top of his ruffled hair, resting your right cheek on it as you urged him to let you go, kissing his head in between. Azriel only mumbled in responseâthe sound too unintelligible for it to be distinctâand closed his eyes again, ready to enter the realm of dreams.
You laughed breathily, craning your neck up and softly pulling his head back while you dragged your hand down the back of his head, holding a loose grip on his hair. "If you let me go right now I'll be back in your arms sooner than you can blink, Az." He smiled, blinking slowly in thought.
"How âbout that, huh? You, me, and fresh bed sheets tonight?" You mumbled, bringing your face close to his until your lips just barely brushed each other.
Now that got him up and alert.
Not even a second later you had taken the chance to jump out of the bed, letting your fingers drag onto the skin of his arms and turning around to get dressed. Azriel shook his head, his breathy chuckle being the only indication of his acceptance of defeat. And acceptance of your offer, of course.Â
Leisurely, (as if you didn't have a certain purple-eyed highlord waiting for your arrival) you shrugged your night slip off, leaving you bare all the way except for your sapphire colored lacy underwear, the one your mate loved so much. "Rhys asked me to help him sort out his fucking mounds of paperwork again."
"âhonestly Az, he's been dragging me into his office ever since I did it that one time he kept dropping down cold out of exhaustion." You sighed out exasperatedly, crossing your arms as you dug through your giant closet to find an appropriate outfit.
"You know he's just trying to find a way to spend time with you right?" Azriel answered, clearly distracted by your undressing. So easy. It was so easy to hook this man right around your fingers. You could clearly feel his piercing gaze travel up and down your body, tracing all your curves, not leaving a single inch yearning for his attention. You loved it, relished it. It made you feel so beautiful and desired, and your prideful Illyrian never failed to mention it out loud.
"Yeah yeah..." You shook your head affectionately. You weren't actually annoyed at Rhysand and honestly thought this was really sweet. With his mind running around the whole bargain with the Cursebreaker and the dizzying problem of recovering Prythian after what happened for the last 50 years, you knew your long-time friend needed a break, and you'd help him in whatever form, even if it meant going through all of his tedious High Lord work. Plus, you wouldn't miss a single chance to goad him on about the shoe-throwing incident.
You most probably would get wine-tipsy by the end of it. He did have one hell of a drink collection.
Once you found the pieces you were looking for, you grabbed each one in a hanger, walking back over to face Azriel as you held both of them up, asking his opinion for which one to wear.Â
He had his arms crossed in front of him and scrunched his eyebrows for one second, raising his eyebrows as he silently nodded his head towards the one on your right. Hm. This was his favorite because it displayed your... assets very well. Typical mate. Winking as a thanks, you put the unused set back, putting on your outfit for the day, all the while he watched with twinkling eyes.
"I mean, couldn't he ask me to go training or something?" Still, you continued your tangent, feeling playful in this happy morning.
"Rhys knows not to train with you because you're lazy." His words hadn't registered in your mind yet because Gods did you love this version of your mate so much. The crumpled bed sheets did absolutely no help covering him up, falling right below his hip while his muscles flexed. His chestnut hair spiked in all kinds of directions, remnants of your own hands playing with the soft strands. The constant darkness that surrounded him only drew your attention to his half-lidded eyes, so sultry without a try. The smug bastard was leaning his head back, both his hands behind them and he knew how much you loved it when he did thatâbulging biceps and all. You could just claw at him right now. You were so thankful for his Illyrian DNA.. it was like they were born with divine statures. Â
"What. Did you just say to me, Azriel?" You gasped in mock offense, a hand on your chest and all.
He had the audacity to show you his sorry smile, as if it would get him out of every sticky situation (It did. Every time. You were just too prideful to say it) "No, no, don't you smile at me like that."
You held your finger up, trying your best to ignore him. You scoffed. Lazy. Okay well in your defense, Rhysand just fucking loved to rile you up whenever the two of you were in the ring. It almost always made you annoyed to the point that you couldn't look at his face without feeling the urge to punch it. It wasn't like you couldn't take a friendly banter, but he did it for way too long and way too often. That's why you preferred to fight with Azriel or Cassian for that matter.
Seeing you hold your stance, he got up in all his glory, boxers being the only unfortunate thing covering him up. It was purely instinct to look him up and down, savoring the image while you bit your lip. Pride. Thatâs all he felt whenever you did that.
Azriel walked towards you with open arms, enveloping you in his large frame when he got close enough, one hand going right down its snug place on your ass while the other went behind your head.
He whispered in your ear lovingly, satiating your unserious upset. "I'm very sorry, my beautiful, intelligent, kind and sexy mate."
You could only melt right into his embrace, bringing your arms to coil around his neck as you smiled against it, pressing your lips onto his skin a couple times. His throaty voice right to your ears made you shiver in delight, goosebumps rising in its wake. You really couldn't get enough of this man, his voice, his smile, his scent and his everything. Feeling your love, Azriel responded by holding you tighter against his body, feeling every inch pressing against him.
"So sexy." He murmured, squeezing your ass.
A laugh bubbled deep from your chest and you leant back from your cozy spot, resting your palm against his chest as you smiled up at him, sighing and nodding in delight. "Knew we were mates for a reason."
He joined you a moment later, his laugh vibrating deep within his chest. This on its own could make any fae in Prythian drop down to their knees. Azriel didn't hesitate to kiss you, feeling a type of content that could only be fulfilled by your lips.Â
You giggled as you felt his lips trek your jaw, down to your collarbone and trailing your shoulders, all the while letting his enormous wings cocoon the two of you. You were pleased to stay inside the little world you two built, letting the joy simmer between you and your mate until he released the hold he had on you with his wings. Without a single word being spoken, you let him trail you as you made your way towards the generous vanity on the corner of the bedroom, picking out the everyday items that were displayed. And of course, you had to use the perfume that Az got for your 100th anniversary, the bottle no longer the original as you had gone through so much with constant use.Â
The male loved whenever youâd wear it,âwhich was almost everydayâthe smell mixed with your own natural one driving him mad, further and further falling for you. And that was exactly his reaction after you gave your wrist a small spritz. Azriel melted deeper into you, if that was even possible with the lack of space between your bodies.Â
âThink Iâm gonna fly out to the city later. Cass is back from Windhaven.â He murmured into the nape of your neck once you were done, fully wrapping his arms around you and not missing the chance to slip them under your top to cup your breasts at it. You hummed in response, laying your head back and tilting to the side to look at your mate and giving him sweet kisses.Â
âMm, sounds fun. Tell him I said hiâOoh, can you please bring back those chocolate chip cookies we had last week? They were soo good.â You closed your eyes in the memory, proceeding to pout at the Illyrian while reaching behind to lay one of your hands on the back of his neck.
Azriel hummed knowingly in response. Obviously heâd get them for you. You didn't even have to ask and he wouldâve brought them back anyway. âOkay baby, anything you want.â
This man. Everything out of his mouth made you feel so madly in love.
While he swayed your bodies leisurely, you couldnât help but grin up at him, teasing his behavior as you scratched his scalp to emphasize. âYouâre so in love with me, Az.â
ââCourse I am, look at you. Beautiful. So beautiful.â He raised your left hand towards his face, emphasizing the word with a delicate kiss on your knuckles, lips lingering on the finger that adorned your ring.Â
Heâd do anything and everything for you. Fly to the edge of Prythian and back, steal the moon, burn the world, collect the stars and hang them up again to paint the sky. If you asked he would do it.
What else could you do in response than to lean up and kiss him in return, letting him twist your body to face him while his hands pull at your waistband, caressing in calming motions. âMy mate is so sweet.â
âI love you too.â
âOkay okay, I should go now. Rhys will start nagging me about being glued to you and our bed as he always does.â You reluctantly separated yourself from his embrace, rubbing your hands down his arms in consolation for the loss of warmth.
âBeen over 400 years now, sweetheart. I donât think heâs going to stop anytime soon.â And Azriel meant this in an entirely endearing way. What happened under the mountain with that insane bitch Amarantha had truly changed Rhysand. He returned home different, haunted. The first time you heard him playfully tease yours and Azrielâs inseparable nature you had both been stunned, finally seeing the old friendâno, brotherâthat you knew so well show through the cracks.Â
You shook your head in agreement, grinning as you took the chance to bump your noses together. âIâll see you when I see you, hot stuff. Tell me everything tonight.â
âOn our fresh bed sheets?â He smirked playfully, echoing your previous promise as a way to remind you.
âMhm, exactly on our fresh bed sheets.â You laughed and winked at him, finally turning around and grabbing your trusty dagger by the drawer and sheathing it on your thigh. The weapon never went anywhere without you, even if you were only venturing to the Town House. It was something small to reign Azrielâs constant need of making sure you were safe and armed at all times.Â
Your mate followed you out the door of your room, beelining towards the kitchen, no doubt to make himself a nice cup of coffee.Â
As your passed him by the isle, you gave him one last goodbye kiss, throwing your head back in laughter at the (soft) slap on your ass on your way.
The minute you opened the door to his large office, Rhysand had paused, nose up and muttered with a teasing smile, âGods, you reek of Illyrian.â
âShut the fuck up, Rhys.â
AAAH! guys im insanely back from writing hiatus after like a year. This is fucking surreal and also im so sorry to my friends that i abandoned.. yall⊠ily and my messages are openÂ
On another note, i am glad to start it all up again with an azriel piece. Despite loving his character since 2021, ive never written for him but i got inspired after reading a terribly sweet soldier boy fic lol.
I really hope that this story, in all aspects, is okay! I feel very rusty
masterlist
dividers credit @rookthornesartistry @chachachannah @dollywons
(also if you see this thank you GWEN for convincing me to post again)
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itâs my first time ordering for lunar love hotel đ„șđ„șđ„ș iâm not sure if iâm doing it right but iâd like to order a flower bouquet with chamomile tea and lemon squares from the midnight menu and a fruit smoothie from the morning menu for ceo azul and afab reader (maybe either his secretary or just an employee working under him, whichever you prefer!)
thank u so much! đ„°
yandere!azul ashengrotto x (female) reader
cw: yandere, nsfw, dub-con, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, somnophilia, obsession, power imbalance, abuse of authority, mention of pregnancy, implied alcohol use/inebriation, ceo!azul, secretary!reader
note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order!
[lunar love hotel]
You wake to a dull pressure between your legs, roused from dead, dreamless slumber like a reanimated corpse. Groggily, you blink bleariness away and search through the dimming light for the body propped up above you. Your fingers, clumsy and numb, brush against his chest, climbing up to drag across his collarbone and, ultimately, reaching his face. Heâs without his glasses; twin pools of the deepest sapphire flick over your form, assessing the state of your sentience.
âMmh⊠Mr. A-Ashengrotto?â you mumble, still so out of it. His hips stutter to a halt. Your eyes shut once more, and this time he takes care to move slower. Softer. You arch up into his touch, breathing heavy. âOohâŠâ
What happened? How did you get here? If your spotty memory is to be trusted, you arrived late to the company party, got into a drinking competition with Floyd Leech, and stumbled out into the chilly night, hanging onto the arm of the one and only CEO of Mostro. Your benevolent bossâAzul Ashengrotto.
And now here you are, lying beneath him on a plush bed, your legs wrapped limply around his waist while he rocks into you with a gentleness rivaling that of the smoothest sea. Just beyond the rain-spattered windows, a gloomy cityscape sprawls. Youâre not sure where you are or what floor youâre on. Exhausted, your mind a muddled wreck, you force your eyes open.
âMr. Ashengrotto, what are youâŠâ You swallow dryly. Hangover sticks to you like wet socks on soles. âWhatâre you doing?â
The hand that had been previously rubbing circles into your hip slides away to grasp at your breast. He rolls your perky nipple between two fingers, marveling at the way it sinks in when he presses down. It springs back with ease, still just as pebbled as before.
âYou should knowââ he starts, only to break off with a low moanâ âthat itâs impossible to out-drink Floyd.â
âNo⊠No, thatâs notââ You suck in a shaky breath through your teeth. His cock curves up inside you, hitting all the right places. âCanât⊠We shouldnât be doing this.â
âWhy not?â
âNot right andâitâs wrong⊠Youâre my boss and itâs notâŠgonna look good.â
âMy dear, is that all you ever think of? Even now, your mind is on work. Wonât you relax?â
âBecauseâŠâ You squirm beneath him, deeply unsettled and yet unable to phrase your protests in sharper terms. âMr. Ashengrottoââ
âAzul,â he murmurs, running his knuckles over your cheek. Sickeningly fond, he has the gall to smile at you like an angel. âIt would make me happy if you called me that in private.â
You try to shake your head. âI canâtââ
âWe offer paid maternity leave,â he reminds you, punctuating that point with a sharp, sudden thrust. Your legs tighten around him out of some bodily instinct.
âDonât want that,â you babble, grabbing at his shoulders. âDonât want a baby. I canâtâneed money to live. Itâs expensive⊠Please, Mr. AshengrottoâŠâ
He tuts, a frown flickering on his handsome face. âYou look so tired. Rest, my dear. Iâm here for you.â
Azul lifts you from the bed, angling his hips down to ensure his seed will find its rightful home in snug, gummy depths. Heâs borderlining the edge of the end, teetering on a pleasurable precipice. You feel yourself falling. In spite of everythingâthe situation and the intention in every thrustâit feels good. Mindless. Intrinsic. Strangely meant to be.
âYou work so hard on my behalf. Such a diligent secretary, always knowing just what I want when I need it.â Azul takes your hand in his, squeezing reassuringly. You shiver at the contactâwhether in revulsion or reverence, he canât say. âAh, but your eating habits are abysmal. You work late and arrive early. You come into the office on the verge of death, and then you lie to my face when I ask if all is well.â He peers down at you, eyes shimmering with an odd emotion. âWhy do you run from me, my dear?â
âA-Azuâooh⊠AzulâŠâ
âWas that so difficult? My name isnât a mouthful. If you say it enough, it may stick permanently. Mrs. (Name) Ashengrottoâwhat a precious title. So musical.â
You follow his hand as it moves to press down against your stomach. You canât be with him. Heâs your boss and youâre his secretary. It wouldnât look right. The rumors that would spread⊠You couldnât handle that sort of pressureâof having all eyes glued to your figure whenever you walk into a room.
âI wanna go homeâŠâ
âYou are home.â
âMy home.â
His expression sours. âI wouldnât call that hovel a home.â
Your head falls back against the pillows. Whatâs the point in debating? Sleep claws at you, dragging you back with greedy fingers. Bile rises in your throat, so you swallow it down. You have to say something. You canât let him have his way. You canât be a mother. Not now. You canât. You canât. You canât.
But itâs so easy to float along and succumb. Itâs so easy to be lazy. Itâs so easy to agree. Itâs what your boss wants. As his dutiful secretary, you must listen and do just as he asks.
âGet some sleep. You need it. Iâll be here when you wake.â
You donât intend to, but your eyes fall shut. His voice is soothing like the sweetest song. With your consciousness now waning, you slip away just as he bottoms out and releases with a groan. Your insides are flooded with cum, but thatâs the last thing you concern yourself with. Itâs what he says next that follows you into your dreams. An ominous omen. A confession.
âI love you, (Name)⊠And soonâquite soonâyouâll love me, too.â
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Helloooo can I request single dad Toji living with his son megumi but then neighbor reader moves in and yk HAHHAHAH anyways love ur works
Hi!! Okay, okay, okay SOOOOO cute đ„° I LOVE this trope sooooo much. Thank you smmm anon đđ I have the smexiest ask in my inbox rn, so I thought I would start with some innocent fluff đ€
Toji is like... super down bad in this one btw
One and a Half Men âĄâ
Toji swore off of dating the day he became a single father. Never again, he told himself. He was too busy. Too preoccupied. Too grown to be playing a twenty-something year old's game. It was evident by his whisps of gray hair, earned over the three and a half challenging years of fatherhood.
When Megumi was first born, Toji found him and his bundle of joy a nice enough apartment, conveniently next to an uninhabited one so Megumi's cries wouldn't wake up any neighbors. Toji kept his head down and focused on what he needed to do. He worked, he took care of his baby boy, and he just kept moving forward.
And he kept good on his promise... very good. Until you showed up.
"Oh, good morning Megumi! Hi Mr. Toji, how are you guys doing today?"
There you were. A beautiful, shining sweetheart, kind and angelic down to your very core. A college student, roughly twenty years old, full of life and hope and love. And the Fushiguro's neighbor of six months.
"I told ya' a million times doll, don't call me Mr. Anything. Makes me feel older than I already am." Toji can't help the way his heart pulses in his chest everytime you flash that bright smile his way. He wishes he could.
"Okay, Mr. Toji." You giggle him off, shrugging away his gruff tone as Megumi let's go of his dad's finger and starts waddling over to you, the smallest smile parting his chubby cheeks.
"Hi y~y/n. M'mmorning. I have new shirt." Megumi makes his way over to you, grabbing your hand with one of his while the other stretches the fabric of his yellow and blue t-shirt towards you, showing it off.
"Oh wow! I see! You look very dapper this morning, Megumi!" Toji watches as you crouch down in front of Megumi, absent-mindedly patting down the raven strands of hair protruding out of the little boys' scalp
Hm, Toji thinks, watching as you blabber back and forth with the little man, smile widening more and more with every word Megumi stumbles out.
A buzzing notification from his phone distracts him from the heartwarming scene. Fuck, graveyard shift tonight.
"Well, I'm very glad you like it, you look suuuuper handsome, just like your daddy." Toji's ears perk up when he hears that. He let's a smirk slip when he realizes you're already looking at him, holding little Gumi's hand.
Hearing Megumi's quiet giggles reminds him of his current conundrum. He doesn't have anyone to look after Megumi tonight.
"Um hey, y/n, are you busy tonight?" Toji scratches the back of his neck, keeping a cool composure as his heart picks up speed.
"No, I don't think so! Why?" You stand up, caressing Megumi's head when he clings to your legs.
"I don't like asking for favors, but could you watch Megumi tonight? I'll pay ya." Toji ignores Megumi's excited squeal at the mention of spending the night at your place, knowing at this rate, he would probably have the same reaction.
"Oh my god, I'd love to! You really don't have to pay me, it would be my pleasure. He's such a little gentleman." Almost as excited as Megumi, you agree, softly squeezing the toddler's tiny shoulders.
You say your goodbyes, explaining how you need to run to the store and that Toji can drop Megumi off whenever.
As you wave goodbye, Megumi turns back to his daddy, huge smile overtaking his dumpling face.
"Yay, tank you dada! I wuv y/n, so nice and pretty." Toji has never seen his little boy so excited.
"Yeah, me too, little guy." Toji mused, walking down the apartment building's hallway, distracted by confirming his shift with his boss.
"Dada wove y/n too?" Megumi mumbles to himself, looking up at his dad with bright, hopeful eyes.
"Uhm, huh? Uh she's a very nice young lady, Megs." Realizing what he said, he backtracks, distracting Megumi with under chin tickles.
"Okay Dada." Megumi giggles, scrunching his chin to his chest, trying to stop the tingles infecting his little body.
...
Megumi was quick to warm up to you when you first moved in. It was just something about you. Maybe it was the same thing that had Toji head over heels the moment he first talked to you.
You were so refreshing to be around. Both Toji and Megumi were so used to only having each other. A young, smiling, motherly woman was such a fulfilling person to have around. Like a missing piece. Your presence was magnetic to the small family, both of them adoring you, only in different ways.
Everything about you was so beautiful. It almost made Toji nervous...
"Dada... knock knock." Megumi pulls Toji's hand towards your door, reminding him of the task at hand.
"You got it bud." Toji picks Megumi up under his armpits, letting him do the knocking.
Immediately, the door swings open, revealing a smiling you, clad in a flimsy tank top and baggy sweatpants.
"Megumi!!" You exclaim, laughing as the little boy grabs your neck and transfers himself into your arms.
"Yayyayayay, y/n!" Megumi squeezes you before turning to his dad.
"Bye bye, dada. Night night." Megumi immediately waves to his dad, almost kicking him out.
"Hold on, little man. Let me talk to y/n for a minute." Toji huffed a laugh as you smiled, moving to the side to let him in.
Toji declined coming in, explaining that he didn't want to intrude. He began explaining that Megumi was due for sleep, saying how it's already way past his bedtime. You point to your room, assuring him that Megumi would be sleeping like a king and that you were drowning in school work, too much to worry about sleeping on the couch.
Toji nodded along, beginning to tune your melodic voice out as he observed the way a sleepy Megumi snuggled into your neck, and the way your hand cradled his head, carding through his messy hair.
"Okay, well, I don't want to keep you too long, Toji! Megumi is safe and sound, and will be asleep verrryyy soon." You tease the little boy, knowing that he's already fighting sleep, dozing off on your shoulder.
Toji smiled when he didn't hear an honorific before his name. Your body froze up as he moved unbelievably close to you, face rubbing against yours as he cups the back of Megumi's head, kissing him goodnight.
"Thanks again, text me if you need anything. Be a good boy Gumi, love ya." Toji waves goodbye as you close the door, turning in your place to take a deep breath, feeling your heated cheeks with the back of your hand, pulling yourself together. What a man.
Your fan-girling subsides when you feel a yawn against your neck, reminding you of the exhausted little boy in your arms.
"Let's get you to bed, buddy. We can have fun in the morning, okay?" You feel a mumble on your skin as you walk to your room, taking in the little boys matching pajamas, little toes covered with fluffy socks. Your heart melts in your chest. How cute.
"Alright, there we go. All set, bud?" You smile down at Megumi tucked in your pink bedding, little head resting on your memory foam pillow.
"Back rub, please?" Megumi pleads, instinctively rubbing his scalp with flat hands. That's where the messy hair comes from.
"Okay, bud." You soften your voice as the boy rolls around in your bed, laying on his chubby little tummy.
He hums happily when he feels the weight of your hand on his back, making grabby hands at your unoccupied one, asking to hold it.
"Dada woves you. He said so to me." Megumi smiles softly, squeezing you hand.
"Oh! Um... oh! He said that?" A wave of shock and flush runs through your body, chest and face heating up.
"Mhm. He thinks you're pretty. I think he wants- marry you." Gumi goes rouge as sleep clouds his little mind, cutting into his own sentences.
"Allrrighhtt Megs... let's focus on bedtime, okay?" You giggle out, feeling like a schoolgirl after hearing the unreliable narrator's thoughts.
"Mmh, okay. Night night, Mama."
...
You didn't get a lick of sleep. How could you? Piles of work was banging at your brain, but the only thing you could think of was Toji and Megumi. Mama.
Pulling at your face, you snap out of your panicked thoughts when you hear a door open and the weight of a tiny body running to your couch. Looking up, your heart breaks in half.
"Y/nnn, bad dreammm. I had bad dream." Megumi sobs out, hands seeking comfort in his hair rubbing his head in agony. His face is puffy and red as tears run down his chubby cheeks, sniffing and crying.
"Oh Gumi, I'm sorry baby... here, come here honey." Climbing onto the couch, Megumi rushes into your arms, holding onto you like you would disappear. Sighing, you stand up with the little boy koala bear-ing you, pacing back and forth as you hush him.
Gazing at the time displayed on the oven, you see that it's already four in the morning. Megumi burrows himself into your body, getting as close as possible to you, seeking the maternal comfort your provide.
"M so sleepy. Don't wanna be by myself." Megumi eventually sighs after tiring himself out, fidgeting with the strap of your tank top.
"Let's sit down, okay bubs? Let's just take some deep breaths." You feel like a nervous wreck, hoping you're comforting Megumi well enough, not fully knowing what to do.
Sitting back down, you pat his back, resting your head on the back of the couch. The weight of Megumi's tired head on your chest grounds you. As you begin dozing off, you feel Megumi's grip on you relax, signaling his sleep.
Exhaling, you rest your arms around the resting lump, finally letting sleep overtake you.
...
Bright and early, you're awoken by the sounds of cabinets opening and closing. You freak out, thinking someone was ransacking your apartment before you open your eyes to see a little body wandering around your kitchen.
"Thirsty." Was the only explanation you get from the messy haired boy as he continued look for a glass.
Pouring him a glass of water, you place him on a chair in your small kitchen, starting his breakfast.
Megumi mumbles to himself as you prepare his scrambled eggs, keeping himself entertained. As you sit across from him, placing his plate in front of him, he smiles and thanks you quietly before digging in.
You drink your coffee, enjoying the peace and quiet provided by Megumi's preoccupied mind...
"Y/n?"
"Yes, Gumi?"
"Do you love dada?"
Megumi brings it up again. Great. Nosey little boy.
"Because I want a mommy. And you're good at it. I think you should be my mama."
"Hey, Gumi, what's your favorite dinosaur?" You blurt out, stopping the conversation as soon as possible.
The little boy glares at you, too smart to be tricked, but giving in anyway.
"T-rex."
...
"Dada! Y/n took good care of me!" Megumi sung the highest of praises when you opened the door to an exhausted Toji.
"I'm sure she did! I hope he didn't give you too much trouble." Toji teased, seeing the dark bags manifesting under your eyes.
"No, not at all, he's a very good boy." You smiled giving Megumi one last hug before he grabbed onto his dad's thumb.
"Thank you so much again, really it means the world to us." Toji reminded you, pulling a fifty out of his pocket, almost begging you to take it. You insisted on him keeping it, joking that the economy is too tough to be stealing his money. Saying their final goodbyes, Toji and Megumi left you alone with your thoughts.
Oh my god. Toji looked so good. His sweatshirt made his already huge frame look unbelievably broader, looking so protective as he held onto his little boy at your door.
You needed him. Bad. And it freaked the shit out of you.
Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo
*PART TWO IS NOW UP!!!!!* https://www.tumblr.com/sillysillygoofygoose/740703539826917377/one-and-a-half-men-one?source=share
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Can we get more with Price? đ„ș Pleeeeeeeeeease? Pretty please?
Hells yes. More price thotsđ„°
Price loves when you first wake up, all sleepy and mumbling fivemoreminuets just to get that extra bit of shut eye. He just adores how limp and pliant you are, barely able to squeeze your own fists together so early in the morning. And fuck youâre so warm, his cold hands caressing your skin in an attempt to heat them up a bit.
Youâre so sweet with your eyes closed, eyelashes almost touching your cheeks, mouth slight open and he pretends not to notice the little bit of drool on your pillow. Heâs too busy admiring the rest of you anyways.
Youâre stretched out on the bed on your back, arm lazily thrown above your head and the other over your stomach. Your legs are a little skewwiff, one almost straight and the other bent at the knee almost hanging off the bed. He chuckles at how you can find the position so comfortable that youâd want to be in it for five more minutes.
And those five minutes turn into ten, then into fifteen and suddenly he remembers that heâs got the guys coming over for breakfast in an hour. He could leave you to sleep, but youâd been so excited to see them when he told you. It has been a while. Priceâs brilliant mind comes up with a plan and admittedly itâs not a very good one. It would probably make you even more tired but who can say for sure eh? He can.
Focused blue eyes move down your sleeping figure to where your pretty legs are parted, not nearly enough space for his large body to be, but heâs sure he can work something out. And he does, hooking his fingers around the material of your underwear, he pulls them down your legs throwing them somewhere in the bedroom and blows on your cunt.
Grinning as you twitch in your sleep, he licks a stripe up your pussy and moans at the sweet taste of you, watching your hips buck from the sensation. âFuck yeah darlin, buck your hips like that.â Price groans, voice rough, watching you react to his actions, licking another stripe up you but using his thick tongue to swirl around your aching clit. He can feel himself hard and straining against his boxers, throbbing cock pressing against the mattress. He fights the urge to rut into the sheets.
Sinking his tongue inside you with his nose purposely rubbing against your clit, Price loops his hands around your thighs pulling you apart for deeper access. At this point you stirred, eyes blinking open to find your ruggedly handsome husband between your legs, tongue buried inside you. You moaned instantly not only feeling the pleasure but at how fucking hot it was to wake up to this, to being eaten out and so thoroughly too. âYeah let me hear you, nice and loud for me sweetheart.â
âFuck John oh my god!â You whined your hips bucking and squirming, he knew your body so well, and it didnât take long for him to get you there. He knew exactly how to fuck you just right, tongue, fingers, cock, it didnât matter. He could make you cum so easy and fuck he loves it.
âSuch a hot messy cunt rubbing all over mâface.â Price groaned, blue eyes staring into yours holding you there, paralysing you under his gaze, âcome on darlin, be a good girl and make a mess on my face.â
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Omg congratulations on 700! đ It is so so weâll deserved. I must admit that I reread your work a lot because it is just so good and some of my favorites! đ„°
For the prompt, as always I am a SUCKER for the one bed trope, but Iâd like to add another fun element soâŠ.
Blue + Lion + Hummingbird perhaps? đ
Okay this one was a request by many, including my cutie pal @thirstydiglett and @truebluesanji and HOT DOG is it a good one!
Just One Bottle (+18)
Pairing: Sanji x Strawhat Fem!Reader
Prompt: Only One Bed x Aphrodisiac
WC: 2000 lol
Warnings: Open for interpretation on how the pals ended up ingesting the aphrodisiac, forced closeness, unprotected sex, p in v sex, morning after pill discussion, drug use, creampie, Sanji being a gentleman!
â âÂ
You strolled the aisles of the bookstore as you waited for Sanji to finish up his snail call outside. You ran your fingers across the labels gently as you passed by each shelf. You glanced towards the shop windows and saw that Sanji was outside giving some choice words to whoever was on the end of his transponder snail. The sun was setting and you found yourself captivated by the way the low light reflected off his blonde hair. He looked handsome.Â
But he wasnât your type. He was always fawning over you, even more obnoxiously so than for Nami and Robin. You never gave him half a thought in terms of a choice as a romantic partner, he was just a crew mate that you cared for deeply⊠as a friend. You turned down another aisle of bookshelves as you could clearly tell that Sanji wasnât finishing his conversation any time soon.Â
You found yourself stopped at the romance section and pulled a bright purple tome off the shelf. âPart Time Human, Full Time LoverâŠâ You read the title to yourself before flipping it open. You find yourself reading a rather graphic passage describing an intimate encounter between the human protagonist and her well-endowed centaur lover. âGoodnessâŠâ You whisper to yourself as you find yourself flipping the page in interest.Â
âY/n!â You snap the book closed instinctively as you hear your name called. Sanji was rounding the corner of the aisle and came up to you.Â
âSanji! Hi!â You hurriedly put the book back on the shelf. âAny news?âÂ
âWell, the sun is going down fast and the moss head idiot got his group lost so we have to stay on the island for the night. Weâre all too far apart to get back to the Sunny. We can find an inn around here and get some rooms.â Sanji explains to you.Â
âFine, hopefully somewhere with a restaurant. Iâm starving.â You smile. âWouldnât it be nice to have a night off from cooking?â You raise an eyebrow at the tall blonde.Â
âI guess. Donât expect the same quality of food that youâd get back on the ship. Shall we?â Sanji remarks as he gestures to the door of the bookstore, letting you go first.Â
â â
After wandering the small village for awhile, the two of you find a small inn that had a tavern on the first floor. You ducked in, trying not to draw attention seeing as the two of you were highly wanted pirates.Â
Sanji strode confidently to the front desk.Â
âWe require two rooms for the night. Money is no issue.â Sanji stoically demands of the innkeeper.Â
âSir Iâm sorry⊠but we only have one room left tonight⊠Iâd be happy to give you a discounted rateâŠâ The mousey old man behind the counter said as his voice trembled.Â
âThis kind of dump has no vacancy? Youâre telling me that this hole in the wall has only one room available-â
âWeâll take it.â You pushed past Sanjiâs shoulder and placed your stack of Beri on the counter.Â
The innkeeperâs eyes danced from your smile to Sanjiâs scowl.Â
âWeâll take it.â Sanji echoed, lowering his voice.Â
âE-e-excellent news! I will issue you your keys now. Would the couple like one set or two?â The old man sputters out.Â
âTwo.â âOne.â
You say two and Sanji replies with one. He clears his throat.Â
âTwo, please sir.â Sanji changes his response.Â
The old man issues you two sets of keys and hands you your change after you pay for the room.Â
âPlease, enjoy our restaurant. You may find that sharing a room is not uncommon among couples at this hotel.â The innkeeper mentions.Â
You look up at Sanji.Â
âI am kind of hungry, Sanji. Shall we?â You question.Â
âCanât go to bed with any empty stomach, can we?â Sanji shrugs.Â
Sanji put his hand on the small of your back and led you in the direction of the small restaurant.Â
âTwo of you?â The stout hostess asked and you nodded. She led you and Sanji to a candlelit table in the back of the pub. Of course, Sanji pulled your chair out for you. Once seated across from one another, you picked up the drink menu.Â
âThe room was so cheap⊠should we get the champagne?â You smirk over the menu across the table at Sanji.Â
âNami would kill us⊠whatâs the label?â Sanji gestures to grab the drink menu from you and you hand it to him. His brows furrow. âI actually havenât heard of this brand before⊠but itâs expensive⊠must be from the South BlueâŠâ Sanji quirks a curled eyebrow up at you. âShould we?â
The sides of your mouth curl up.Â
âYes.âÂ
Sanji breaks into a grin as the waitress arrived at your table.Â
âAnything I can get you two tonight?â The cute redheaded waitress asked you both.Â
âWeâll start with a bottle of the champagne.â Sanji says to the waitress. âAnd for food⊠anything your recommend for a night on the town?â He says with a smirk.Â
âOh, I think our chef can do something for you.â The waitress says with a smile.Â
âPerfect.â Sanji says as he snaps his menu closed and hands it to the waitress.Â
â âÂ
The two of you had finished your bottle of champagne and dinner and were waiting around for the waitress to bring you your bill.Â
âNo no, it really was lovely. I just have never had a champagne like thisâŠâ Sanji says as the two of you discuss dinner.Â
âThe oysters were a nice touch, I thought.â You remark.Â
âMr BlackLeg sir thank youâŠâ The waitress interrupts as he places a large stack of Beri on the tray containing your bill.Â
âThat was a nice tip you leftâŠâ You say as Sanji ushers you softly out of your seat, covering your back with his suit jacket. âFar more than most would.â You didnât feel drunk, but you felt some strange warmth growing in your lower half. It started building when you drank that damned champagne.Â
âItâs nothing for someone who used to work in hospitality. Their service is worth far more than the champagne.â Sanji says as he guides you to the stairs, leading you up to your room on the third floor.Â
You reach your room and Sanji fumbles with the keys before getting the lock open. The door opens to reveal a small room with a queen size bed and an ensuite bathroom.Â
âI-I can sleep on the floor.â Sanji says immediately. You turned and saw that his cheeks were bright pink. Was it from the alcohol?
âItâs fine, weâre adults. Letâs just get to bed.â You respond and begin stripping off your pants. You then unstrap your bra and take it off through the front of your shirt. Sanji hesitates for a second before stripping down to just his boxers.Â
âIâll take this side.â You said awkwardly as you slide into the bed.Â
âRight. Goodnight then.â Sanji shuts off the lights and hops into bed on the side opposite you.Â
âYep. Night.â You curl up into your side, so that you wouldnât encroach on your crew mates sleeping space.Â
All you can hear is labored breathing.Â
Was it your own?
Was it Sanjiâs?
Something was off. You couldnât sleep.Â
Why was your pulse thrumming in your privates? Why was there slick gushing out of your slit to soak your underwear? Nothing even remotely sexual has happened tonight and yet your levels of arousal were off the charts. You tossed and turned for several minutes trying to ignore it, having the ache between your legs only grow more intense.Â
You couldnât take it anymore.Â
âSanji?â You whisper out into the darkness.Â
âGods, Y/N, tell me you feel like I do right now.â Sanji responds in between pants.Â
âWhat the fuck happened to us?â You breath out to the dark ceiling above you.Â
âSomething in that drinkâŠâ Sanji breathes out. âIt fucking hurtsâŠâÂ
You peer over to your left and see Sanji grabbing at his crotch beneath the sheets.Â
âThey drugged us.â You pant out, right hand delving into your panties and rubbing at your clit, trying to get some relief from the burn this mysterious wine was causing you.Â
âI-I donât know how to say this, mon cherie⊠But what if we⊠helped each otherâŠ" Sanji said as he saw you pleasuring yourself beneath the bed covers.Â
âRight⊠itâs just helping a friendâŠâ You say softly as you touch your sex further, reaching your left hand out under the sheets to wrap around Sanjiâs erect penis.Â
âYES- I mean, yes-â Sanji jerks at your touch. âItâs just relieving each otherâŠâ
âOkay⊠fineâŠâ You relent.Â
Sanji jumps up and positions himself above you in a nanosecond. You take this time to push your panties down and your t-shirt over your head.
âSpread your legs for me, my loveâŠâ Sanji whispers as he hovers over you. âShow me what you needâŠâÂ
âSanji please, I need you inside of me.â You pleaded as you brought your hand down to spread your pussy lips. âSanji why does it hurt?! Please help me!â You bucked your hips in his direction. You were desperate.Â
âIâm gonna fix it, okay? Iâm gonna stop it from hurting. Do you want that, y/n?â Sanji asked.Â
âYes! Please help me!â You cried out again as you saw Sanji pull himself fully from his boxers.Â
Sanji dances the head of his dick across you clit as you whimpered.Â
âIâve got you, mon amourâŠâ Sanji assures you as he leans down and pushes his cock into your trembling hole.Â
âOH-!â The moan is ripped from your lungs as you feel the throbbing head of Sanjiâs member push past your g-spot to fill you completely. âFucking finally-â You groan as your eyes roll to the back of your head, the fullness youâve been craving in your bones finally being fulfilled.Â
âMore, more, moreâŠ.â You chant as Sanji bucks his hips into yours with a fervent pace. Whatever aphrodisiac was in that wine had fully engulfed your brain and all you wanted was a thick cock inside of you stretching you out. The only thing you could focus on was the wet glide of Sanjiâs heavy dick in and out of your hole. âPlease, more!â You cried.Â
âMy love, Iâll give you everything you wantâŠâ Sanjiâs eagerness to please came through as he pushed your thighs up towards your chest, allowing him further access to your favorite spot. âNeed you to cum on me⊠please..â He begged.Â
âM-More.. want more..." You whimper out.Â
Sanji takes one of his hands from the crook of your knee and places it around your neck gently. He leans in and places a tender kiss on your lips. He moves his other hand to the top of your sex. Sanji slips two fingers inside of you next to his own cock, assuring you're full to the brim and your favorite spot is being stroked with every thrust.
"San-ji! So- Fuckin- Full!" You cried out in the throws of pleasure, finally feeling exactly what you wanted.
âI canât do this much longer, mon cherie, so wet and so tightâŠâ Sanji groans into your lips as he ruts into you like an animal. âNeed you to cumâŠâÂ
âIâmâŠcumming⊠fuck!â You scrunch your eyes shut and scratch at Sanjiâs naked back.Â
âSo perfectâŠ.â Sanji whimpers into your sweaty neck as he shoots his load into you. You stroked his neck all the way down to the base of his spine.Â
âAaah- Fuck- Ah!â You hear the cook grunt into your flesh as he digs his hips into yours further.Â
âA-are you cumming again?â You ask with a heavy sigh, coming down from your own orgasm.Â
âSh-shiiiitâŠ.â Sanji groans. Tears prick at your eyes as overstimulation sets in. âM-my loveâŠâÂ
You feel Sanjiâs hips drive further into yours, impossibly deep. He was emptying yet another massive load in you in less than a few minutes, it was spilling filthily out of your hole around his cock. Sanji collapsed almost immediately on top of you without pulling out.Â
Sanji wrapped his arms around your torso and settled in.
âYou know youâre going to have to ask Chopper about a âmorning afterâ situation, right?â You muse as you stroke Sanjiâs lower back.Â
âI think the embarrassment is worth it.â Sanji smirks as he nuzzles into your breast.Â
You smile and pull your love-cook close to fall asleep.
â â
Hope you ALL enjoyed!
xx
MoÂ
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Iâm actually obsessed w Spencer Reid rn. Please can you write something really really cute and fluffy and reader gets drunk while out meeting Spencerâs team, and starts getting really jealous and protective of him, clinging to his waist and scowling at any girl, (or boy, because reader explains that her boy is so pretty that she bets men love him too), that come anywhere near him. The team tease the two lovingly, but when reader gets so overwhelmed and clingy that she starts to cry, Spencer melts. He starts massaging her hair, cuddling her close to his chest. Heâs praising her and telling her how much he adores her and only her.
He drives her home, and it ends in the two falling asleep whilst spooning each other <3
Hii, ty for the requestđ„°! Hope this is okay. Sorry it took me so long. Warnings: use of pet names, mentions of alcohol, jealous!reader, fluff (0.9k)
It's not your first time meeting Spencer's team, so you definitely aren't shy to have a good time along with some drinks.
But eventually, one drink turns into one too many and you end up drunk. And it's not just you, it's everybody, except for the drivers of the night. Meaning Spencer, he's your driver for the night, so he sticks to a soda for the whole night.
And actually, Spencer goes to get you a soda as well, not wanting you to get anymore drunk. He knows, you'll feel terrible in the morning with how many drinks you've had already.
When he comes back with the sodas and sits next to you, your whole face lights up at the sight of him and you immediately make yourself comfortable on his lap.
"Wha- Oh, okay, "Spencer doesn't get the chance to say anything as you sit in his lap. He only chuckles at it and so does the team.
"W-what?" you cluelessly giggle along with them, a bit confused why they are all laughing.
"Nothing, "Emily answers for all of them and chuckles some more.
You frown drunkenly, but the frown dissappears just as quickly as it came, when you feel Spencer squeezing your thigh (lovingly).
You look at him, your expression completely lovesick," you look so handsome tonight Spence," your attempt of a whisper is very, very far from actually whispering.
"Just today?" Spencer actually whispers with a teasing smile.
"Noooo," you drag the 'o' for a bit too long, " y-you always look v-very handsome."
Again, you fail to whisper, so the team hears your answer clearly.
"He really does and I think some other people here think it, too " Derek chuckles and his eyes end up on a table at the back of the bar, the people there are visibly ogling Spencer.
When you notice it, you scowl. It's surprising, that you can even see that far back with your kind of blurry vission, but you do.
It looks quite comical, how you drunkenly glare at them. But you can't help it, why are they looking at Spence, your Spence, like that?
"Woah, woah, woah, babe, you're gonna kill someone with that look," Emily teases you, she's just as drunk as you, so she finds her comment very funny and laughs. You, on the other hand, glare at her, as well.
"You guys are being so mean," you slur as you point at the team and they just laugh some more. You can't help, but to giggle with them, too. You can't even remember why you were upset a few seconds ago as you laugh with them. Spencer only shakes his head at how ridiculous you all are, although there's a smile on his face, too.
Once the laughter dies down and everybody starts a small talk of their own. Your endorphins seem to run out of your system and your ecstatic mood dissappears.
Spencer notices it immediately, your sad face and dejected sitting position tell him enough. He knows, it's time for you and him to go home and get some sleep.
He asks you if you want to go home and you just tiredly nod.
Spencer gently pulls you up onto your wobbly legs and says goodbye to everyone for you both. He walks you to the car (or more like he carries you there, because you put your whole bodyweight on him) and he even puts on the seatbelt for you.
Before Spencer can even start the car, you are sniffling softly with big tears running down your cheeks.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Spencer instantly worries, taking your face into his hands and wiping away the loose tears.
"I just....I just l-love you so much," you hiccup as you respond to his question. And Spencer swears, he couldn't love you any more after hearing your adorable answer.
"Yeah? Is that why you're crying?" he gives you a warm, amused smile.
"M-maybe," you don't really know why you're crying. Spencer thinks, it might be the alcohol in your system messing with your hormones.
Spencer would laugh at your answer if you didn't look so damn sad about it. Instead he just says, "come here."
He hugs you and you very eagerly hug him back. Spencer runs his hand up and down over your back until the sniffling stops and until he can't feel anymore tears wetting his t-shirt.
He pulls you away from him carefully, "are you feeling better? Should we head home now, huh?"
You nod sluggishly, " y-yeah, but w-will you hug me some more at home?"
"Of course, however long you want, sweetheart," Spencer smiles at you and raises your intertwined hands towards his lips to kiss the back of your hand.
You smile at him, happy to hear Spencer's promise of cuddles and you contentedly look out of the window, while Spencer starts the car.
By the time Spencer parks the car, you are out, fast asleep in the front seat. He can't blame you, the roar of the engine would lull him to sleep too if he was just as tired and just as drunk as you.
Spencer, though unwillingly, wakes you up. You wake up, confused as to where you are, but you smile sleepily at Spence, when you realise it's him.
"Come on, love. Let's get you inside," you lean heavily on him as you walk to the apartment.
Once, you're inside, Spencer helps you change into comfy pyjamas and removes your make-up (you are half asleep as he does that). He prepares a glass of water and painkillers for you on the bedside table for the morning.
When Spencer finally joins you in the bed, you are sleeping again. He pulls you towards him and cuddles you close, you sigh happily into his chest. You two stay like that the whole night, Spencer hugs you tightly just like he promised, he would.
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I Want You to Stay (11) | JJK
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of past experience of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts, business/property devt, and book talk thatâs probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; sexual content (making out - I know, finally) (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 23.5k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đ¶: on the way home
A/N: Hiii so this was quite the wait! We have come to the climax of the story and I'm both excited and terrified to share this with you. I have nothing more to say other than see you on the other side! đ€đ€
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight đ„°
PS. If I canât tag you, pls fix your settings!
Whenever Jungkook creates some distance between you and him, you often understand it. Itâs his default, you think, and after learning about the pain he harbors from his childhood, youâve come to accept it. You expect it, even.Â
Recently though, he hasnât been doing much of it. He often moves closer; sometimes, he lets you do it. Tonight, itâs both - he stands near you, he holds you, and he lets you slowly close the distance until youâre just a breath away. And for a brief moment, you think that heâd eliminate it altogether.Â
But youâre not in some fantasy world, so when he pulls away, youâre reminded of who you are and who he is and that sliver of hope goes up in flames.Â
âIââ he mumbles.Â
âI should go,â you interject, turning away so as not to see any more of the rejection in his eyes. âHave a good evening, Mr. Jeon.â
You grab your bag then rush outside, exhaling the breath you were holding in and letting the shame fill you up as fast as the elevator reaches the first floor. You want to run to rid yourself of the embarrassment, maybe be irresponsible for once and get drunk just to forget. Maybe when you wake up in the morning, youâll find out it was all a dream - you didnât actually want to kiss your boss, you didnât actually think heâd kiss you back, and he didnât actually pull away, as if it stung him to touch you, as if it hurt him to try.Â
But the thought doesnât last long.
You get on a bus and convince yourself that staying sober tonight is a better option than reporting hungover to work tomorrow. Youâll feel embarrassed either way, but might as well be more professional about it, considering that what youâd almost done - and all the things you thought about - was nothing but that. You settle for just cup noodles for dinner; you donât deserve anything nicer than that tonight.Â
Sleep doesnât come until past one later in the evening. You spend much of your time tossing and turning, trying hard to erase the image of Jungkook so close to you.Â
But nothing works. All you see are his lips. All you can hear is his breathing. All you can smell is him.Â
You wake up four hours later, exhausted and incredibly anxious for the day. You want it to be over already, and you half think of calling in sick but you know thatâll be too obvious. It could set off alarm bells to Jungkook and he might call and ask how you are, and thatâs something you canât deal with either. So you power through and nap in the car, not wanting to converse with Mr. Ri because you might tell him everything should he ask the right questions.
Your plan of action is to engage with Jungkook as little as you can, in any way thatâs possible. You play around with things in his kitchen and make sure you have your back turned when he exits from his gym. The energy drink and glass of water are on the counter and you sense him lingering before he finally walks to his bedroom. You let some time pass before going to his closet to prepare his accessories for the day, then head back out, cooking his omelet as slowly as you can.
The clearing of his throat lets you know heâs done, and you glance at him before placing the dishes on the table.Â
This isnât the routine. You always fix his necktie once he shows up. Itâs reflex for you, and you know thatâs what heâs come to expect as well.Â
But you canât bring yourself to do that right now. Itâs basically like re-enacting what happened last night and you canât promise yourself that you wonât want to kiss him again when heâs that close. You canât look him in the eyes, you canât take in his scent, you canât hear his breathing without remembering how he felt like. You know you canât have it again, so you wonât even torture yourself even more than you already are.
His tie is slightly off and it disturbs you. He doesnât move but he doesnât ask you to fix it.Â
You sigh to yourself. Heâll live.Â
You eat quickly and itâs a contrast to him picking on his food. Youâre tempted to ask if the dish isnât to his liking, but you told yourself not to start conversations or engage in anything outside of work matters, and youâll stick to that for as long as possible.Â
â___.â
âMr. Jeon, Iâve prepared your notes for todayâs meetings,â you state before he could say anything more. âAnd Iâm meeting with the marketing team about the additional promotional materials you wanted. Is there anything else you wish to add to the ones we talked about?â
âNone for now. They can go ahead with my initial request,â he responds, his voice too soft than what youâre used to, but you donât dare look up and meet his eyes.
You ask a few more questions and he responds accordingly. The silence is deafening and though you miss the playful banter that has become part of your mornings, you know you canât get into that right now. Somehow, this is when you canât act like everythingâs normal. Your stupid mistake and foolish assumption is where you draw the line. You just hope the day ends quickly enough before you give in.Â
Both of you head down to the car. Before going inside, you hear Jungkook ask Mr. Ri how he looks and if his tie is fixed, and you internally smack your head for being so petty about this. You didnât think that something seemingly trivial about your daily routine with him would affect you this much, as if it somehow threw things off-balance just because you were so afraid to be close. You realize now that you would look forward to those few seconds because that was the only time you had a reason to touch him.Â
But heâs everything you canât desire and given that you almost crossed a line, you know youâre gonna have to slowly pull back. Not just with regards to your feelings but in everything, as you take a peek of your personal phone and see an email notification about an upcoming book launch from Rkive Publishing. You subscribed to their mailing list right after you met their director, and youâve been sitting on his email address and the application letter you have yet to submit.Â
Since that encounter, youâve been occasionally looking at other job opportunities in different fields. You realize that nothing much excites you. Thereâs not much you think is worth slaving your way for in this corporate jungle, and that while youâre currently part of that machine, the only thing that got you going these past eight years was the debt you had to pay.Â
You had your reasons to stay but being at this point when youâre ready to let that go, youâre realizing that there wasnât much else about the job that got you truly excited. Sure, it was also the people, but theyâre why you couldnât leave. It wasnât until the planning for the Arts Center that you felt you could truly be invested in a project and have impact on it, too; it just so happens that the man behind it is the reason why you have to step away. You know itâs the only way you could finally choose yourself and pursue what you want. At 31, you owe it to yourself to do that.Â
Your thoughts are disrupted when the familiar building comes into view, and you exit the car and head to your floor, trailing Jungkook this time instead of walking by his side as what youâve come to do. You can tell that he notices the distance but you donât want to address it. Being terrible at any form of confrontation, you donât really want to acknowledge anything that happened. Youâll deal with him if he brings it up, and for all the times that you screwed up, you wish to the heavens that Jungkook lets this one go.Â
You head to your desk while he heads to his. You make him his coffee then ask him to sign some documents. You focus on his hands as he flips through the pages, preferring to look at those instead of his face. But itâs those fingers that pressed against you last night, and you shake your head at the memory, even if all you want is to feel them again.
You retrieve the papers, your heart stopping when he doesnât let them go right away. Your eyes widen and you still donât look at him, even as you anticipate him to say something.
â___.â
âMr. Min asked to meet with you after lunch,â you cut him off again before he could say more.
âI know. That email was sent to you and me.â
âYes, sir. I was just making sure.â
He lets go of the papers now and you bow before quickly heading out. You just know he had his eyebrows scrunched at you. Heâs probably trying to make sense of how jittery you seem and though he may know why, youâre not sure if he knows why.
You get through the morning in one piece. You attend your meeting while Jungkook attends his own with his father. You grab a quick lunch with Do-hyun, whose narration of her love life takes up the whole half hour, then you return to your tasks once you finish.
Hyper-focused on the file youâre reviewing, Yoongiâs usually unenthusiastic greeting catches you off guard, causing your lips to miss the hot tea that youâre about to drink. You jerk, spilling all of it on you. You subsequently hit the saucer thatâs on the edge of the table; it falls on the floor and breaks.
âFuck!â You whisper yell, as you feel the drink pool on your skirt.
âShit, is it burning?â Yoongi asks worriedly.Â
He immediately rushes to your side and grabs some paper towels from the cabinet, placing them on your lap and on the floor.
âDonât move so you donât spread the broken pieces,â he instructs. âAre you hurt?â
âNo. Iâm just uncomfortable,â you groan, with your knees awkwardly touching each other and your thighs squeezed to keep the liquid from spreading.Â
Youâre at least in a black skirt but you know the stain will still be visible. Thatâs the least of your problems though, as Jungkook arrives from his meeting and heads to you with a folder, only to find Yoongi kneeling on the floor next to you. Jungkookâs eyes widen, seemingly scandalized at what this looks like, and they flit from you to his friend, whose calm face quickly turns into one of panic.Â
âShe spilled her tea and the saucer broke,â Yoongi explains, raising the soiled paper towels as evidence. He tells you to move back so he can place them over the shards while Jungkook looks on intently. âAre you good? Do you have spare clothes?â Yoongi asks you.
âUh, ye-yeah,â you manage to say, hating how frozen you seem to be. With the tea having been absorbed, you grab your bag from your cabinet, the one youâve started to keep and bring with you during trips in case you get stranded again, then throw the towels in the trash bin. âIâll just go get changed.â
You scurry towards the washroom and leave the men alone, knowing that Yoongi will hold the fort for both of you.Â
Back inside, Jungkook eyes Yoongi as he calls for maintenance to clean up the mess.
âShe spilled her tea and the saucer broke,â Yoongi says again. âShe couldnât move and I just cleaned up.â
âI heard you the first time,â Jungkook states.
âJust making sure, so your mind doesnât think of whatever it thinks about,â Yoongi shrugs. âBut is she okay? She seems a bit out of it.â
âI donât know,â Jungkook looks away. âDonât you usually know those things?â
âWell, I assume that since youâve gotten closer, you would know. Unless itâs about you⊠Were you mean to her again?â
Yoongiâs unusual scowl is one that Jungkook is secretly terrified of but he acts unaffected, merely shaking his head in response and to dismiss the assumption. Heâll admit that his friendâs statement is quite bittersweet, though. Yes, you and Jungkook have both gotten closer and there hasnât been an incident in months where you couldâve had a reason to be down because of him.Â
Unless last night counts, which is something heâs still wrapping his head around.Â
He thinks back to that moment right by your desk. You were so close. And he was so close to doing something more than just holding onto your waist. He saw you eye his lips and he did the same but the realization of where you both were - in a semi-open space in the office - reminded him of his limits. Sure, it was after-hours and no one would have any reason to be on the floor at that time, but it still felt too exposed and he didnât want either of you to be put in such a compromising position, even if every part of his body was aching to kiss you.Â
He wouldnât have known you were talking about him if it werenât for the way you held him close and that unfamiliar look of yearning in your eyes. At that moment, he let himself hope that heâs who you wanted, even if heâs also the same man you believed wouldnât cross his boundaries for you.
Even then, you had been so bold, so honest. He wished he was as brave and as capable to express his desires as you were. He never thought youâd feel anything for him - him, the one who made your life miserable for weeks, the one who treated you unfairly because you made him feel - and want - things he couldnât understand and control. Your calm and warm nature made him think he wasnât anyone special. He dismissed whatever part of him that thought otherwise because he couldnât hope for something he couldnât have.
But last night, the way you looked at him also made him feel like all he desired was within reach, like you were within his grasp. Your lips were everything he wanted all over him. Your soft breaths were what he wanted to take in. You were all he wanted to taste and touch and hear, and heâd been so, so close to crossing a line that he said he wouldnât because he was afraid it would push you away and thatâs the last thing he wants to do.
He was overwhelmed but he was just as scared, believing that thereâs no turning back if something had happened. He almost stepped over the line but pulled back just as quickly, and now it seems that thatâs whatâs keeping you at a distance. Because as you return to your desk, you merely bow at him then go through the folder of documents heâd given you.
âYoongi and I will just meet for an hour,â he says. âPlease be ready with the Arts Center opening event budget that Iâll go through with Hoseok later.â
âThatâs noted, sir.â
Jungkook sighs in disappointment as you donât spare him a glance. He just wants to see those eyes again, the ones that yearned for him last night, the ones that asked him - almost challenged him - to get closer. But heâd been the coward who let you go, and now he doesnât know how to turn back from this.
He enters his room then turns around to face Yoongi.
âI feel so much and I donât know what to do.â
âI know,â his friend hums, feeling relieved that Jungkook can now acknowledge something heâd known for a while now. But Yoongi also knows that itâs not that simple, and while he knows of the possibility that you feel the same, reciprocated feelings donât always mean happy endings. âJust donât⊠just donât hurt her,â he adds.
âWhy do I feel like whatever I do, itâs what Iâll end up doing anyway?â
âSheâll know when you mean it and when you donât. And you know what helps?â
âWhat?â
âLetting her know that hurting her isnât what you want to do. Youâve got a lot to say, Jungkook, I know it,â Yoongi remarks. âJust be brave enough to say them.â
Yoongiâs words linger in Jungkookâs mind for the rest of the day, especially during the times that he peeks through the window to get a glimpse of you. You seem determined not to look his way, as you donât even attempt to look at his direction all afternoon. There is a lot heâs got to say, he just doesnât know what they are or how to say them. Itâs always been that way when it comes to you - he feels so much, but he's unable to let you know.
Despite your avoidance all day, he feels your absence even more when you leave at 6PM, on the dot, without sparing him a glance. He could run after you and ask to talk. He wouldnât know how to start that conversation though, but if it would bring you to finally look at him or say his name, then it would be enough.Â
He just wants to know what last night meant for you. And if it means what he hopes it does, then maybe it isnât about turning back but moving forward. He knows it will be complicated, but he wants to figure it out with you. Heâll choose the path where he gets to be around you, close to you. Always.
Jungkook pulls out the bottle of whiskey he keeps in his drawer to momentarily drown out these thoughts. For some, liquor gives them courage. For him, he drinks it because heâs afraid to be brave.
As he replays the way you looked at him last night, he wonders to himself what heâs more scared of - never having you close enough, or losing you completely.Â
The three films you watch in the cinema that Saturday afternoon are a good distraction to all the thoughts in your head. You occasionally do this because watching other peopleâs lives play out in film gives you something to ponder about. Sometimes, you let it inspire you to live differently. Other times, it allows you a peek into a life much more exciting than the one you have. In some instances, it gives you a sense of relief that yours is uneventful, lacking in drama and intrigue.
At this moment, youâre not quite sure what you want out of it other than to forget. What exactly, youâre not sure. Is it the way you felt when Jungkook held you? Is it the way he seemed to want more and then nothing at all? Or is it the hope you had that youâd found someone you were willing to give a bit of yourself to, only for the glass to shatter because thatâs not what you do - you donât desire for things not meant for you; you donât open yourself to heartbreak like that.Â
Jungkook has always made you feel a lot of things. This time is no different. But this time it also means more. You could lose him completely or have something with him that could be beautiful. One would hurt right away and the other could hurt you down the road. You donât know which one youâre willing to suffer through.Â
Suddenly you wish you didnât get to this point at all. You couldâve left when you had the chance. You couldâve let him not mean to you this much.Â
You continue to wallow in the sadness. You eat dinner at a ramen place before going home and settling in bed with your best friends on video call. You tell them about the past two days and narrate your moments with Jungkook during the team building that you left out when you spoke to them about it. Looking at them through the screen, you see a mix of understanding and frustration on their faces.Â
âWhy are you avoiding him, hun?â Soomin asks, her eyes soft and comforting.
âBecause Iâm so embarrassed,â you groan, burying your face on the pillow. âI was so⊠shameless. I donât even know what got into me. He just looked at me and I⊠lost all sense. Who was I to assume that moment would end well? That heâd reciprocate that honesty?â
âAnd you think not talking about it will rid you of that embarrassment?â She wonders.
âNo. But itâs at least better than facing it,â you frown. âIâm not good with words nor feelings. And Iâm sure that neither is he. Iâm just trying to be professional now because I obviously wasnât.â
You leave out your fears about meeting his eyes and hearing what he has to say. Even if he returns whatever you feel, thereâs so much burden tied to that and you donât think youâre ready for it. You donât think youâre ready for any of this.
âIt doesnât seem sustainable though,â Soomin points out. âYouâre together all the time. Youâve created a routine and a dynamic that youâve gotten so used to. It takes more effort to avoid the whole thing, donât you think?â
âI guess but⊠weâre all busy with the Arts Center opening. And I plan on tending my resignation right after,â you explain. âThereâs no time to talk about feelings. Iâll just let it die down. Itâs stupid to have them in the first place.âÂ
The prolonged silence prompts you to turn towards her. âYou donât agree with me, do you?â
âI just donât think itâs stupid to be feeling what youâre feeling,â Soomin replies. âYou spend so much time together. Youâre bound to form some attachment and develop affection for him, regardless of how things started. I mean, through all the late-nights and early mornings and stresses and comfort in between, thereâs something only two of you share and understand. Thatâs not stupid. Thatâs how connections are formed, hun.â
Attachment. Connection. They terrify you but theyâre things that you desire as well. You donât know how deep they are when it comes to Jungkook and you donât know if theyâre something he feels towards you, too.
âMaybe youâre just trying to convince yourself that it isnât that serious,â she adds. âMaybe itâs because you know that it is, and you donât know if itâs worth pursuing, if itâs worth finding out if he returns it and if being with him is something that can happen.â
You look away, knowing the truth in her words. You turn to Jimin, whoâs been unusually quiet all evening.
âWhat do you think Jimin?â You ask him. âI mean, itâs one thing to feel something and another to act on it and risk everything for it, right?â
âThereâs always something you risk once you acknowledge what you feel for another person,â he says after pondering about it. âFor me, acting on it just depends on two things. Is it good for me, and is it good for them? In your case, itâs something to really think about. Youâre you and heâs him. And you know what I mean. Youâve been wanting to walk away from this company for years, ___. You wanna be something outside of it. How does being with your boss help with that?â
Jiminâs words remind you of something else youâve been yearning for - that search for who you are outside of your work, outside of all the years you spent working for this family that have become a core part of who you are. For people like you who have to work extra hard for the things you have, it becomes natural for your job to define you as a means of survival. It doesnât give you power nor influence; it just gives you a means to get to the next day and to give back to the one person who sacrificed everything for you.Â
As the years went by, it became more difficult to pull away. This family trusts you, and your confidence has only ever increased as an employee of this company, but not as a professional. Youâve been wanting to learn who you are without the burdens you carry, without the need to constantly prove yourself to the people who helped make you, and Jungkook ties you to all this. Whether itâs pursuing him or working for him, youâre afraid youâll never be brave enough to do things on your own.
You werenât supposed to be this attached. You werenât supposed to be this invested. You werenât supposed to want to be wanted back.Â
But Jungkook made you care. He made you feel. He made you be brave. And heâs now the one you have to pull away from.
âYouâre right,â you sigh. âMaybe in a way, I needed this to happen. I needed this⊠moment to remind me that I have to leave and I canât let him be another reason for me to stay, not when I feel what I feel, and not when I donât know if he feels the same way.â
âWhat if he does, though?â Soomin asks. âAnd what if he asks you to stay?â
âThinking about it now, I hope he doesnât,â you say. âItâd be much easier for me if he just lets me go. I can finally walk away from all this. And I can get over what I feel.â
âIs that what you really want?â Soomin adds.
You nod in response. âAt least I know Iâll be happy outside of working for the company. Who knows what having him in my life would bring me?â
The book cafe in Mapo district boasts of an elegant yet comfortable design. It has three levels that consist of a library and working spaces, but itâs on the first floor that you find yourself in, tucked in one of the corner tables at the back with your iced coffee and fruit tart.Â
You listen in awe as the author reads excerpts from her newly released book, which she narrates with vigor and emotion. She answers questions about her purpose for writing this specific story, the inspiration for the characters, and interesting things like who sheâd cast if it were to become a movie and what the playlist would sound like. Itâs the first book launch youâve ever been to, and despite not being an avid reader, you have a feeling that it wonât be your last.Â
Thereâs something about the storytelling and the process of creating something that captivates you. Thereâs not much of that in your world. Itâs all numbers and profits. Itâs soulless, if youâre being honest. It doesnât give you time to feel or live in the moment or actually bask in the work that you do. Youâre there to support, to assist, and while that used to be something you were proud of, the past year has made you think that itâs truly time to move on from it. Itâs made you desensitized to things like joy and hope and love, which prompts you to realize that those are what have been missing. Working on the Arts Center gave you a taste of it. Youâve come to the point where you want to know how those truly feel like, and the job has hindered you from fully finding it out.
All your emotions for Jungkook take a backseat the more you think about what your life could be, especially while you watch Namjoon gather what seems to be his team, as he congratulates them for a successful launch. Theyâre all in casual clothes, looking relaxed, relieved, and fulfilled as the event comes to a close and several people approach the author and ask her to sign their books. You can imagine the stress leading up to all this, but thereâs satisfaction in putting together something this intimate and meaningful.Â
âYou made it,â the man with the soft smile says, the child-like innocence of his face, a contrast to his very masculine build. âIâm glad those newsletters and email invites work.â
âI think theyâre the only ones I actually read,â you say, earning you a brighter smile from him. âBut honestly though, it helps that a book cafe is something I wouldnât mind being in on a Sunday morning.â
âExactly!â Namjoon beams. âItâs easy to make it a part of your weekend. Whether it translates to immediate sales isnât the whole point, although thatâs great, donât get me wrong. But as long as thereâs foot traffic and increased interest, then itâs a success. Our launches have been gaining traction on social media. And theâshit, sorry. Iâm rambling again,â he chuckles. âI doubt you came here with the intention of listening to me talk about what we do and stuff.â
âOh, I donât mind at all,â you assure him. âI donât actually go to things like this but I thought it might be a good way to have a feel of what itâs like working for your company without inconveniencing you. I mean, I havenât applied yet but I just wanted to see if this is something Iâd enjoy doing.â
âAnd?â He asks in anticipation.
âIt kind of is,â you admit. âI donât know. Thereâs just something so personal about it.â
âThere really is,â Namjoon nods.
His face turns serious now, something that happens when heâs about to go on a speech about whatever it is he feels strongly about. Heâs expressive and itâs quite captivating, which is refreshing in a colleague, you realize.Â
Sitting across from you in your little nook in the cafe, he talks about the journey of this whole process, how he reached out to the author who turned out was trying to contact him as well. He was hoping to publish one of her manuscripts that was shared to him by a friend, but she offered this one instead, a very personal story that she trusted his company would do justice.Â
âI sat the whole team down and told them what this means for her as an author and as a person, and what that in turn could mean to the readers,â he continues. âThereâs so much responsibility but the return is worth more than you could imagine. Of course, itâs not always easy. We have a relatively small team for the amount of things that we have to do but it works. Communication is smooth, accountability is shared, and we build our trust and respect in each other that way. I think that makes it even more worth it in the end.â
âYouâre really trying to lure me in, arenât you?â You laugh.
âPretty much,â he chuckles. âI just think our meetings are serendipitous. There were two people who were supposed to take on the role but they backed out last minute - on both cases, I see you the next day. The universe probably has plans.â
âIt probably does,â you nod, slowly believing him. âThe only reason why I havenât applied yet is because this is all so new to me and I may not be what youâre looking for.â
âBut it could be that weâre what youâre looking for,â he counters. âEven if the industry is new to you, if itâs a place youâre comfortable in and that you think will help you grow professionally, then you become what we need. Itâs give and take, really. Your approach to the work impacts how you do it. Yes, itâs still a job but it also means a lot more.â
âYouâre very good at this,â you say, feeling more at ease as you speak with him, a stranger who has no idea what youâre going through but is somehow saying the exact things you need to hear. âI just have a timeline Iâm working around. My company has an important thing coming up in several weeks and I donât want to leave before then. Itâs also why Iâve been delaying applying.â
âHey, if we see that weâre a good fit for each other, then we can work around your timeline,â he says. âTo help with that, maybe we can chat more casually to relieve you of the pressure. I have some things to return to the office not far from here and you can tell me a bit about the work that you do. What do you think?â
Itâs a suggestion you take up, so you both start walking a few streets down to a mid-rise building, a structure that sits amidst cozy cafes and small parks.Â
The Rkive Publishing office is spacious. Instead of solo desks, there are large tables so there are more opportunities for collaborations, but there are small meeting rooms and private spaces as well. There are floor-to-ceiling windows, shelves that are lined with hundreds of books, and quirky art pieces that give the place a unique yet personal touch. Itâs leagues different from what youâre used to, and as you appreciate the way the sunlight makes the whole place glow, you start to think that Namjoon may be right - this might just be what youâre looking for.Â
You disclose who you work for then tell him your functions, narrate how a usual day looks like, and mention the types of people you usually engage with. But you share how youâve felt lost in the chaos of everything and that youâve been trying to find purpose in it but have been unable to.Â
Namjoon purses his lips, attempting to hide a smile, but you call him out on it.
âIâm just trying not to get too excited,â he reasons, giving in and chuckling now. âWe need organization, a sense of urgency, a kind of professionalism that someone of your caliber could bring. I donât want to get my hopes up and yes, thereâs a process, but I hope you give us a chance.â
Itâs easy to think that this man has no idea what heâs saying, but heâs been talking about going with his gut feeling all morning - heâs said as much that following his heart and doing what feels right for him allowed him to turn the company into what it is right now. Maybe meeting the first time was just a coincidence, but the pull of the universe - of you to this environment and him to you - is just too strong that you canât help but think that maybe this is the next step for you. For all the challenges you went through all these years, maybe you deserve something a little more smooth sailing this time.Â
You donât make any promises but you do assure him that youâll send him an email. There are obviously other pressing matters that you have to deal with but this has been a good distraction, one that you allow to preoccupy you for the rest of the day.Â
After saying goodbye, you walk around the neighborhood and spend the afternoon by the river where you wonder about the people surrounding you.Â
What dilemmas are they facing? What heartbreaks are they trying to move on from? What new adventure are they preparing for? Or maybe, who are they trying to forget? Whoâs waiting at home for them? Are they watching the sunset because they know itâs beautiful or because theyâve forgotten that it is?Â
You let out a breath once the sun has dipped and the sky has turned a dark shade of blue. You feel a mix of awe at its beauty and disappointment because the day has come to an end. You once more have to face the person youâve been trying not to think about all weekend.
Giving yourself a pep talk, you go to bed that night with the plan of continuing what you did last Friday, which is avoiding any moments and any chances of talking about what happened. If Jungkook brings it up, then youâll just have to face it and ask him to forget about that night and then deal with the consequences after. But thereâs no way that youâll say anything first; youâll ride this out for as long as you can.
Avoiding talking to Jungkook about non-work matters - which is really what you only intended to do - is much more difficult when you have to pretend you donât care about him.Â
That Monday morning, you stop yourself from asking how heâs doing after spotting the empty whiskey bottle and beer cans in his kitchen bin. While you give him the usual hangover remedy, you stop short of suggesting that he get some rest or buying him his favorite lunch dish.Â
During the meeting that you accompany him to in the afternoon, you watch him helplessly as his father hounds him with questions about the other projects, adding even more pressure than what heâs currently under, and you look away when he tries to meet your eyes. You used to send him encouragement through your gentle nods and soft smiles but youâre scared youâll fall into your feelings once again if you do them, knowing that any sign of him needing you is all it would take for you to give in and talk to him, maybe comfort him.Â
Youâve become so weak for him, you realize that now. His detachment used to put you off and frustrate you, but knowing him the way you do, itâs what makes you want to be there for him; itâs what makes you want to assure him that youâre just there.Â
But you arenât, because youâre pushing him away. Youâre making him go through his confusion and stress and exhaustion all on his own because youâre a coward, too. Youâre scared of your own feelings. Youâre scared of them being rejected and youâre scared of them being returned. You didnât realize just how much you are because you never actually felt something this deeply for anyone, and that terrifies you even more.Â
Watching him from your desk as he pores through documents on his laptop is hard, too. Youâre done for the day but heâs said earlier that heâll be staying late to finish a few things because there are many distractions at his place. You want to tell him they can wait, that heâll need to rest and regain his energy for the week ahead, or that some fresh air could help clear his mind.Â
But you donât. Instead, you pack your things and head out, knowing that much as itâs your decision to force this distance between both of you, itâs still something you wish you didnât have to do. You donât know how long you can sustain it, but somehow you know that once he gives in, so will you, and so all this might as well just be useless or even worse for you.Â
Mr. Ri picks up on the change the next morning, as he asks if you and Jungkook had an argument on the way to his penthouse.Â
âThere was no argument, â you answer. âThereâs just a lot on my mind and heâs a big part of that. I just⊠I just don't know how to deal with things, you know?â
âThings like what?â Mr. Ri asks.Â
âFeelings,â you sigh. âI mean, you said they canât be helped. And youâre right, I canât. Thatâs my big problem right now.â
âOh, ___,â he says, softly smiling through the rear view mirror.Â
You can tell heâs trying to comfort you, something heâs told you before heâs unsure how to do. You brush him off, saying youâll figure it out, and he assures you that you could talk to him and that maybe, you need to just let it out to someone who knows what youâre battling against. You express your appreciation then inhale deeply once you arrive at Jungkookâs building.Â
The clanking sound of plates surprises you when you enter the penthouse. You walk cautiously towards the kitchen and find Jungkook already dressed in his work attire, placing the basket of toasted bread in the middle of the dining table where you spot the two plates with eggs in each. You wonder if youâre late, given that heâd gone ahead and made breakfast for both of you already.Â
âYouâre on time,â he says after seeing you check your watch. âI was just up early. I couldnât really sleep. I think I have too much on my mind.â
âI still could have made this for you,â you say so softly, Jungkook almost misses it.
âI didnât mind,â he answers, wanting to say more, like that he thought it would be nice to make something for you for a change, or that he hopes you could see the effort.
But he keeps them to himself, just like the many other things that he doesnât feel ready to verbalize. He hasnât stopped thinking about you since Thursday night, and he thinks that the distance youâre creating has made his desire even stronger, but so has the fear.Â
He spent the weekend downing alcohol and then boxing for hours to get rid of the hangover. The lemon ginger tea he made didnât really work. He placed the bandage on his beat-up knuckles incorrectly, not like how perfectly youâd done it once. And the chicken noodle soup he ordered when he wasnât feeling well last night didnât taste as good as yours.Â
His mornings arenât the same without the briefest touch from you from fixing his tie, or from the casual conversations during breakfast or in the car. Thereâs not much of your voice or your laughter that he hears, and definitely none of your smile that always encouraged him, that always assured him. This continues for the rest of the day, as he barely feels your presence unless he asks for it. And even then, it almost feels like youâre not there at all.Â
He feels so lost without you, unable to focus and function properly without your guidance and your care. He doesnât know how or when heâs allowed himself to need you this much but it all feels so new yet familiar. All he wants is to be near you again but he admits that seeing you consistently pull away hurts him more than anything.Â
Itâs why that Wednesday, he settles for only minimal glances at you in the car, why he conducts his morning meeting in a cafe instead, why he has the blinds on in his room all afternoon, and why he stays to work late and informs you that heâll go straight to the Arts Center the next day so heâll just meet you in the office.
He does all those so heâs forced to be around you less, so he doesnât look up from his desk to find out that you donât look his way anymore, so that itâs less difficult when you donât do your usual routine with him. He at least wonât feel as bad when you donât ask how heâs feeling if you donât see him look terrible in the morning after not being able to sleep, or when you donât fix his necktie for the fifth time this past week if heâs not around you in the first place.Â
Youâve been going out of your way to avoid him and if he had a bit more courage, heâd probably be able to ask what Thursday night was about and if youâd really wanted to kiss him like he did.Â
But heâs afraid of two things - that youâd ask him to forget all of it, or that youâd both have to figure out how to move forward if the feelings are indeed mutual. There are so many things that could go wrong but just as many that could go right - heâs scared to hurt you either way. And like heâs always said, he doesnât know how to handle all of this; he doesnât know how to talk about what he feels.
Thursday morning comes and while youâre relieved that you donât have to tiptoe around Jungkook again in his own apartment and feel suffocated by the tension, you wonât lie and say that you deeply felt his absence. You also wonât deny that seeing him walk towards his office without sparing you a glance hurt you a little. You know him enough that heâs probably giving you the space that youâve insisted on, but still, a part of you wonders if heâs just accepted it, too.Â
And when you hand him his notes for his late afternoon meeting then when he leaves for the CEOâs office without a look of acknowledgment, you worry that heâs become impatient, that heâll keep pulling away for as long as you are, and that youâll be so far apart that youâll start to wonder if youâd come close to him at all.Â
But you did this, you remind yourself. Youâd been the one to get close, to expect, and then to detach because you were so afraid of what would happen next, and what that would mean for you. Heâs probably the last thread youâre holding onto, connecting you to this world that youâve been planning on leaving for so long. Maybe youâre also scared that if he asked you to stay, you would, and the last thing you want is for him to be the reason why you canât let go, and then resent him for it.Â
You sigh in your seat as the various thoughts plague your mind. You decide to go to the pantry for a cup of tea, knowing you have some time before Jungkookâs meeting with his father is scheduled to end.Â
The support teamâs office is unnervingly quiet at 7PM with only Mr. Ri around, shaking his leg against the chair while browsing on his desktop. He greets you when you enter and then joins you to make his cup of coffee - his fourth for the day, he says - before you both head out the pantry and sit by the meeting table.Â
There arenât any words said as you both blow away the steam from your respective hot drinks, merely letting the tranquility of the evening envelop the two of you. A few minutes pass and Mr. Ri finally looks up and asks why youâre still here, to which you reply that you wanted to be around when Jungkookâs meeting finishes in case he needs you to do something.
âThereâs no need to drop me home,â you tell him. âI can manage on my own.â
âYou know Jungkook wonât like that,â Mr. Ri responds. âHe has strict instructions to drive for you whenever you stay out late. I canât and wonât disobey those orders.â
You know this, which is why you sit in silence with your hands on your lap as if youâre being scolded, and you nod.Â
âOkay,â you say softly. Â
âHeâs worried, you know?â Mr. Ri says after a while. âHeâs been asking me how youâre doing, as if youâre not at the point in your relationship where he can directly talk to you. But Iâve actually been worried about him this past week. He stays up late to work, then goes home to work out. Heâs not himself lately, always out of it and just⊠sad.â
âDid he⊠did he say anything else? About us, specifically?â
âHe didnât tell me if anything happened but Iâm guessing something did, something serious enough that youâd avoid him for days and personal enough that he wonât confront you about it.â
Your face falls, guilt painting it, something Mr. Ri picks up.
âItâs about your feelings, isnât it?â He asks. âYou like him and you can no longer deny it.â
You nod in confirmation, unable to verbalize the words that your heart has been screaming for weeks.Â
âIs it so hard to admit? Is it so hard to talk about?â The older man asks. âI mean, he doesnât tell me anything but Iâve known that man his whole life, ___. Iâll bet a lot and say that he feels the same way about you. Why are you both putting all your effort into avoiding each other instead of talking it out?â
âBecause you know us, Mr. Ri. Weâre the worst at these things,â you shake your head, choosing to disregard his statement that Jungkook may be reciprocating the feelings, knowing youâre not ready to think about it. âAnd you know this, too. Itâs not just about what I feel. Itâs about who he is and who I am and what those imply. Itâs this complicated situation that I wouldnât even be in if I just⊠if I was just strong enough to leave the first time. Or the second time.â
âHey, you know it wasnât about that,â he says. âYou were always strong. You held on even when things were difficultââ
âYeah, I just held on and now Iâm here, caught in between liking my boss and wanting to stay away from him, from his family,â you groan in frustration.Â
But you utter the thoughts that you only rarely entertain, only because theyâre what held you back all those years ago.
âAm I being selfish, for wanting to leave after everything?â You ask. âTheyâve been so good to me. And now that I crossed the line and fell for their son, I want to let everything go.â
âIs that really why you want to resign? Because you like Jungkook?â
âNo⊠it isnât just about that,â you sigh. âOr it is. A big part of it, but also not. I⊠you know Iâve been thinking about this since the whole thing with Mrs. Byun happened, and that was six years ago. But then CEO Jeon asked me to help Hoseok and I stayed. And it was even more important for him that I be there for Jungkook. And I am but now what? How can I continue knowing that I like him? And how can I find myself and learn who I am outside of this when Iâm here, when this is all Iâve ever known and all Iâve ever given myself to? Theyâll always be good to me. I feel selfish by staying, but I also feel that way if I leave.â
âNone of that makes you selfish, ___. You always had a reason to leave and you could have, but there was also always gonna be a reason for you to stay,â he says. âBut they were their reasons, not yours. Whether you stay despite what you feel for Jungkook or leave to find yourself and seek the happiness you deserve, youâre not being selfish.â
You look at the man whom youâve known for years and he sees in your eyes a woman whoâs just asking for any kind of comfort, of any kind of assurance because no else is around to do that.
âWe do what we can at every moment, and we can live with our choices if we know theyâre the best one we can make at that time,â he continues. âWhatever it is you decide to do, I hope you do it for you. Youâre the only person you have to look out for.â
Right outside the door, Jungkook remains unmoving as he processes everything heâd heard, while you continue to talk inside, completely oblivious to how youâve rendered him paralyzed.Â
Jungkookâs meeting with his father ended much sooner than he expected. They merely discussed some happenings with the Board and the lunch that theyâll be hosting on Saturday to welcome some of their familyâs long-time friends who are flying in from Europe.Â
He headed to the support office immediately to tell Mr. Ri that he plans to go home soon but hadnât known you were there as well. But then again, you and their trusted aide - whoâs been his fatherâs chauffeur, bodyguard, and personal assistant for decades - spend a lot of time together, so it didnât feel off to Jungkook that youâd both be talking. Heâs asked the older man to look out for you, too, especially with regards to things that he feels isnât really his place.Â
Jungkook didnât hear much at first, initially deciding to just walk back to his office and call, but once he heard Mr. Ri asking you about resigning, he stopped in his tracks. He felt foolish to be listening in on a conversation heâs not a part of, especially since itâs also because of him.
It shouldâve delighted him to hear you say that you like him. Jungkook couldâve only dreamt up that reality and it still feels surreal. You didnât have a reason to lie and the fact that he isnât the only one seemingly overwhelmed by his own feelings should be a good thing.Â
But that also seems to be your reason for wanting to leave, and the thought breaks his heart in ways he canât explain. Youâve apparently been planning on leaving for years but never got around to do so. If you stayed when his father asked you to, would you do the same if he asked? And he believes that up until last week, your relationship had become the most comfortable itâs ever been. You seem happy here, but why did it also seem like you just wanted to get away?Â
The thoughts make his head hurt, and while a part of him wishes he hadnât heard anything, he at least knows you plan on leaving. And thatâs something he absolutely cannot bear.
The sounds of the chairs being fixed disrupt his thoughts. When he hears Mr. Ri suggest that you should start packing up, Jungkook quietly walks back to his office and nonchalantly calls the older man to inform him that he plans on staying up late and that he should drop you home already. If Mr. Ri notices the odd tone of his voice, he doesnât say anything. He merely expresses his confirmation and not long after, Jungkook hears some shuffling outside his closed door.
âIs there anything you need from me before I leave, Mr. Jeon?â You call out, the walls in between both of you feeling higher and thicker than ever before.
He knows that you know that he no longer asks you to do anything at this hour, and he comforts himself by thinking that itâs your way of letting him know that youâre still there. But the thought is short-lived, as he once again plays the conversation heâd overheard in his mind.
âThereâs none,â he says pointedly. âYou may leave.â
It takes a while but he eventually hears you walk out. Jungkook feels himself breathe for the first time in the last 15 minutes, before he feels suffocated once again.Â
Maybe pulling away last week when heâd been so close gave you the idea that he didnât want you at all, and maybe that had affected you more than he expected. Maybe him, creating more distance that youâd initiated, made you think that thatâs what he wanted after all that. Perhaps his being a coward in facing his own feelings had pushed you away, too, and if youâre scared of what you feel for him, maybe letting you know that he feels the same way is what will make you stay. He could be the happiness youâre searching for, Jungkook convinces himself. He could be what you want and need.
And he already knows that youâre all that for him. Whatever rules he created for himself and the limits he imposed are all pointless if he doesnât have you around at the end of it. If his life after all this doesnât have you in it, thereâs no happiness for him. A new job for you could take you anywhere, maybe far away from where he is; it could lead you to someone, someone who isnât him.
He hates that an overheard conversation about you resigning is what will take for him to finally be honest about what he feels for you. And that potentially losing you by his side is the push he needs to let you know that he wants you, that he wants everything with you, and that he hopes you want the same.Â
Itâs 9:30 PM by the time he enters the car, his head hazy from the two glasses of whiskey he had. Mr. Ri calls him out on another night of him drinking in the office and orders him to get straight to bed like heâd done a few times before when Jungkook had been too stressed and too stubborn to rest. He merely nods though but he follows through, skipping dinner then mindlessly taking a shower before falling asleep in bed after finishing a bottle of beer.
The ringing of the alarm causes Jungkook to grunt and turn off his phone for the peace and quiet that he needs, given the throbbing of his head. But in the silence, he hears the soft knocks on his door, so consistent that he decides to just open it and ask the person on the other side to stop.
But of course, itâs you, and the way you quickly turn your head away reminds him that heâs got nothing but his sweatpants on and heâs too sleepy for anything else to register.
âItâs 7AM, Mr. Jeon. You have an executive meeting at 8,â you tell him, voice so soft and so far away.Â
âFuck,â he groans, rubbing his temples to massage the pain away. âIâll just take a shower. Donât make breakfast anymore. We leave in 20 minutes.â
âNoted, sir,â you say, then walk back towards the kitchen.
Itâs 15 minutes later when his bedroom door opens and he nervously walks over to you. Unable to still remove the image of his half-naked form in your mind, you focus your gaze elsewhere, but he forces it on him when he asks you to fix his necktie, the first time heâd ever done so.
âI was rushing,â he explains.Â
You nod and head to him, hating how your hands slightly shake at feeling so close to him again. You can feel his breath as you watch the rise and fall of his chest. He probably feels as anxious as you, perhaps no longer used to this routine after you stopped it days ago. But you manage without sparing him a glance, keeping your distance and your eyes focused on anything else but him from the walk down to the car and throughout the ride to work.Â
Itâs difficult for you to look at him, not only because youâre ashamed but because youâre afraid of what youâll see. Maybe his eyes will tell of his acceptance of this new dynamic. Maybe theyâll reflect anger and frustration at how youâve disrupted his routine. Or maybe theyâll show sadness - which is what youâre most terrified of - because thatâs your weakness. Any time he looks like he needs comfort or he needs you, you know youâd give in, you know youâd want to be there even if youâve spent the past week staying as far away as possible.Â
You know you donât have much time left here. The Arts Center opens over a month from now and youâve decided to tender your resignation soon after. You know you should be savoring whatever moments you have with him and perhaps thatâs what saddens you the most because you donât know what will come after.Â
Your happiness isnât here, and staying to find out if itâs with him isnât worth it, not when thereâs baggage you carry; not when your own past and insecurities weigh you down.
Arriving in the office, you rush to your desk then walk to his room to give him the notes he needs for the meeting. You turn towards him slowly when he calls you, your name in his voice suddenly sounding foreign.
âCan you prepare me lemon ginger tea? Please?âÂ
His voice is soft, as if he feels burdensome for making such a request. You want to give in so badly and ask how heâs feeling. But you stop yourself. Itâs not the place nor time.
You accompany his tea with pastries, your own request for him to have breakfast, and you get your own, in response to him instructing you to do so. You see from your periphery that heâs trying to catch your attention as the meeting starts, but with this, you hold back. You donât want to see what you now know would be sadness in his eyes.
Jungkook has entered the deepest nook of your heart, you realize. You donât know how you let him get there, and you donât know how to push him out.Â
âAnother night of drinking, huh?â Hoseokâs unusually somber voice disrupts Jungkookâs thoughts as he zones out during lunch. âThe Arts Center getting you that stressed and anxious?â
Jungkook looks at his cousin questioningly.
âI know how you look when youâre tired and this isnât it,â Hoseok responds. âYouâre hungover.â
âIâm fine,â Jungkook huffs, not wanting to get into this with a man who would know when heâs lying.
âYou should be, Kook. Thereâs a lot going on these next few weeks and we need you at your best. Your team has worked so hard for the Arts Center,â Hoseok reminds him. âSo trust them. And donât let them down.â
As always, his words hit Jungkook where they should. Whateverâs going on in his personal life - even if it involves you, his assistant - he has to be professional first, and that means making sure that everything is ready for the launch in six weeks. Thereâs a lot he has to meet and prepare for, and he doesnât know how youâre able to do it. You may be distancing yourself from him but youâre still able to focus and carry out your tasks accordingly. Youâll be fine without him, he thinks. But if youâll go on thinking that he doesnât feel the same way about you, he knows heâll regret it. He knows heâll regret it even more if he doesnât ask you to stay.Â
âYou donât have to worry about me,â Jungkook assures his cousin. âIâve been out of it but Iâll get my shit together.â
âGood. I donât have to remind you that thereâs a lot riding on this. But ___ is there to help. Iâm here, too. Youâve got people who believe in you, okay?â Hoseok smiles, a slice of comfort that Jungkook didnât know he needed. âItâs gonna be okay.â
Jungkook nods and heads back to his office after a full morning has passed, tricking himself into thinking that things will indeed be okay. He just needs to find the courage to face you, finally talk to you, ask you about that night, and tell you what he feels.
But even getting you alone proves to be difficult, as you have your own lunch plans that he didnât want to interfere with, and your own deadlines that he set that he knows youâll make sure to meet.
Jungkook gets caught up in the afternoon in another meeting with some of the Board members who came to visit. Biting his lip in frustration, he manages to not lose his mind as he sits through it, merely hoping to the heavens that you havenât left yet despite the late hour.Â
He speed walks down the hallway once he gets to his floor and almost panics when he sees your work space empty. But he spots your unfinished cup of coffee and he knows you wonât leave without cleaning up. He briefly sighs in relief when he hears shuffling from inside his room, walking closer to find you standing by his desk, with your back facing the door. You place a folder on his tray for signatures and a bound manual for review, then turn around and jerk in surprise when you see him standing there.
âI didnât know your meeting had ended, sir,â you say, the formality grating his ears. All he wants is to hear you speak to him casually again, for you to call him by his name once more.
âIt just did,â he hums. âI didnât know if you were still here. I wanted to see you before you could leave.â
His words catch you off-guard but you try to look unaffected.Â
âIs there anything else you need me to do, sir?â You ask, knowing that heâs past giving you work at this hour on a Friday, but youâre too nervous to think of what else he needs you for.
âNo. IâŠâ he stutters. âYou, uh, youâve been avoiding me,â he manages to say, his eyes pleading for you to look at him.Â
But still, you donât.
âIâm with you everyday, Mr. Jeon,â you insist, your tone cold. âI canât possibly be avoiding you.â
âYou havenât looked at me all week.â
As if in reflex, you glance at him, then shift your eyes on the couch to your left.
âThat doesnât count,â he says, his voice oozing in desperation for you to just spare him some time, something youâve never heard before.
So you give in, as you slowly meet his eyes, and youâre reminded why you didnât want to do it in the first place. Theyâre so sullen. Tired, it seems, but just lacking in light. They were always so expressive, even when theyâre angry, and even more when theyâre sad.Â
âI justâŠâ you start, knowing that with all thatâs happened and with all the stress and pressure he has to endure, you canât be another one in his list to have to try to figure out. You at least owe it to him to be honest.
You look at the door, suddenly conscious of who might wander in your area, and Jungkook takes your cue, closing it once you nod.Â
âSo, why have you been avoiding me?â He asks again, his voice gaining a bit of life now that youâve given him a chance to talk.
âI was just ashamed,â you admit, looking away as the scene from last week plays in your mind again. âI said things I shouldnât have and they made you uncomfortable andââ
âHow do you know that?â He interjects.
âBecause you pulled away!â You say too loudly, lowering your head in embarrassment at the clear frustration youâre expressing. âI thought you wanted to⊠uhâŠâ
âKiss you,â he finishes, earning him the slightest of nods from you.Â
âBut you didnât and I just felt so embarrassed,â you say, your lips quivering now at how much youâre saying, at how much youâre baring yourself to him, unsure if heâll do the same. âThat was completely out of line.â
âYou werenât wrong though,â he almost whispers as he slowly walks towards you. âAbout what I wanted to do. You seemed to want that, too, but we were out there and I⊠I was scared that if Iâd done anything you werenât ready for, then Iâd push you away. I still did anyway. Because youâve spent the entire week avoiding me, talking to me formally, not fixing my tieâŠâ
You stop the giggle that you almost let out, but you canât help your tiny smile as he whines about what youâve been purposely doing.Â
âI just didnât know what to say. I didnât know how to face you after that,â you explain, knowing thereâs so much more to say but that youâll start with this. âBut you avoided me, too,â you suddenly pout.Â
âWhat did you expect me to do?â He exclaims. âYou did it first! You know Iâm not good with these things.â
âNeither am I.â
Jungkook controls himself from kissing the frown off your face and instead, he walks closer. He gets to appreciate you now as he shamelessly eyes your form, the pastel-colored long sleeved blouse tucked inside your white skirt making his heart race.Â
He spots your shy smile as you try to turn away, and he steps closer, wanting to see more.Â
âYou still arenât gonna look at me?â He asks, the soft desperation in his voice prompting you to be bold again.
âI canât. I might lose my mind,â you admit, groaning right after at your own honesty.Â
âIâd quite like that,â he hums. âI⊠I was actually losing my mind all week. It didnât feel right to have you feel so far away. I wanted to fix things but I didnât know how.â
âThat makes both of us,â you sigh, allowing yourself to finally gaze at him in his black suit, the classic look taking your breath away every time. âBut I guess itâs the same with me. I didnât know how badly I wanted you close until you werenât anymore.â
You hesitatingly reach out your hand, an attempt to let him know that close is what you want him to be, but also to see for yourself if this is real, if he really is just breaths away from you, and if he could be even closer.
âIâm not pulling away this time,â he assures you, his boyish smile sending your mind in a frenzy.
Your fingers graze his chest, the way it quickly rises and falls telling you that his heart is probably racing as fast as yours. You fiddle with the neck of his tie before pulling it to bring him closer. He follows your lead, stepping forward and meeting your eyes, seeming like he doesnât want his off of you.Â
âSo uh, are you losing your mind now?â He whispers teasingly.Â
The way he utters the words with such yearning is a contrast to the shy look on his face. Itâs a side of him youâre not ready for, but itâs one youâre thoroughly enjoying. Itâs also pushing you to be even more shameless, as you nod and take his hand this time, placing it on your waist so you could feel his touch again. Heâs gentle, trailing his fingers up and down your sides.Â
âI am,â you manage to say, and you wish he could tell by the way youâre panting that his effect on you is way beyond your control now, and that itâs something you want to embrace. You mirror his smile, soft and warm yet full of desire.
He makes his move, placing his hand on your cheek as he eliminates whatever distance is left. And he stands there, just one breath away.Â
âYou have no idea how much Iâve been thinking about that night, wishing Iâd done things differently,â he heaves, his eyes flitting to your lips constantly, âwishing I had been brave enough to do what Iâve been wanting to do for so long.â
You lick your lips in tandem with his, and once you feel him thumb your cheek, itâs all over for you. With a whisper of his name, you hold your breath, and the next thing you feel is his mouth on yours.Â
He kisses you deeply, expressing just how much heâs been wanting to do this. You smile as you return his desire, suddenly feeling like youâre floating, as if heâs some dream that youâre able to reach, like heâs that beautiful thing thatâs tangible, that you can touch, that you can taste.
You moan once his tongue gains entrance, entangling with yours and dominating you immediately until heâs all you can breathe in. He cups your face, directing it where he wants, while his one hand trails down your back to knead your ass, as if to keep himself steady as he loses himself in you. Your breathing quickens even more as the pleasure rises, and with your fingers palming his chest and gripping his collar, he pushes you against his table.Â
He cages you and keeps you in place while he devours your lips, and you feel him all over you just as you wanted. Youâre hypnotized by his scent, by his warm breath, and by the large hands that now grip your waist and lift you to sit on the edge of his desk.Â
Your mind is hazy, high on the drug that is his kiss, lust-filled and passionate and relentless. You yearn for him even more the longer you taste him, feel him, and thereâs no part of you that wants this to end. Your moans push him to kiss you harder, leaving you a whimpering mess and with a mind that's truly unable to think a single thought outside of this trance-like feeling. His arms now wrap around you, and his hands, seemingly desperate to touch every part of you that he can, trail up and down your back, as if to caress you, as if to say that he wonât stop, that he wonât let you go.
Finally needing air, he removes his lips from yours only to travel to the most sensitive parts of you - on the shell of your ear that his tongue grazes repeatedly, and on your neck that he licks and sucks vigorously. You feel the chills all over your body, and you grind against him to try to satiate that growing need of yours, as you start to feel the dampness in your underwear. His hardening length makes you want everything he can give you, rules and boundaries be damned.Â
This isnât like you but youâve never felt this much pleasure and desire in all your life. Nothing couldâve prepared you for the ecstasy that kissing and feeling him would give. You feel his desperation and desire for you, as he grunts and moans your name, aching to feel more, to do more. You want to live in this moment, and then live it everyday, just take him in and take everything and give him everything.Â
But you shouldâve known that some things are too good to be true. And much as you hope and imagine for things to turn out a certain way in belief that you deserve good things in this world, they donât. Those donât happen to people like you. Thereâs always something underneath it all, as the fantasy shatters like a glass ceiling breaking at his words.
âStay, ___. Donât leave,â he hums against you, the tip of his nose gliding against your neck as he takes in your scent. âPlease donât resign. I canât⊠Iââ
You feel frozen as you process what heâs said. âWha-what?â You manage to ask, your mind slowly waking up now.Â
His lips take a pause at devouring your skin and he faces you, his chest heaving and his eyes glassy and pleading as he repeats his words.
âDonât leave, ___. Donât resign. Stay with me. I need you next to me.âÂ
âWhere is this coming from?â You demand, your heart racing now for a different reason, your anxiety building at how he couldâve known of your plans. You pull away to get a better look at him, with guilt now painting his eyes.
âI⊠I overheard you and Mr. Ri talking last night,â he admits shamefully. âI didnât mean to. I was going to just walk away but you talked about leaving and what you feel about me and I just⊠I froze. I donât want you to go anywhere, ___. I need you here.â
The silence drags on as you let his words settle, words you thought you wanted to hear. But not like this, you realize. This isnât how you imagined heâd tell you he wants to be with you.Â
He attempts to cup your cheek again but you pull yourself back, the rejection breaking him this time.
âYou knew I wanted to kiss you last week,â you start, your voice shaking as the pieces fit together. âYou knew yet you pulled away. You let a whole week pass with this distance, with no attempt from you to talk to me about it, or to even tell me what you feel but then you learn last night, after listening to a conversation you had no part in, that I like you. And tonight, you kiss me because suddenly you need me? Because you want me to stay next to you?â
âIââ Jungkook starts, unable to say anything as you put it the way you do.Â
Heâs wanted you for so long and always had reasons to keep his distance. He tried to gain the courage to talk to you this week, even as you avoided him, but he didnât. There was just so much fear, so much worry about what he should do, about you asking him to forget about it, about possibly pushing you away even more. He didnât intend for things to happen this way but for you to think that heâs only doing this in an attempt to keep you from resigning is all kinds of wrong, even if in hindsight, thatâs exactly what it looks like. He couldâve said something earlier, he couldâve told you what he felt, and he wouldâve been brave enough if he really wanted to.Â
âYou knew how I felt and you kissed me so Iâd stay,â you repeat. âYou hate change and me leaving will change everything for you and this⊠this is how you make sure I donât.â
Stepping down from the desk, you realize how much youâd lost yourself in him, with your skirt bunched up and your blouse all creased. You fix yourself, suddenly ashamed, and suddenly unsure where you stand. It took so much of you to admit what you felt for him and now it seems that he hadnât been into you the way that you thought.Â
You want him with you, but he wants you here, thatâs the difference.Â
âI⊠want you,â Jungkook says, the words suddenly hard for him to say, as he gets choked up at the distance youâre creating. âI guess I always have. I just couldnât do anything because I had to be professional and there were boundaries I couldnât cross. But I couldnât help it. Those donât matter to me anymore. Only you do.âÂ
His pleading eyes ask you to believe him, to understand him this time. But your silence and the way you look at him in disappointment tell him itâs not something youâre able to do.Â
âI never thought youâd feel the same way,â he continues. âAnd now I know that you do and that just means we can figure it out, right? Staying means we get to be together everyday. We⊠we get to have this everyday. Donât you⊠donât you want that?â
This is when you realize that much as you want to believe in his sincerity, itâs hard when he thinks of you as a necessity. You make his life easier. Youâre his assistant, after all. And that makes you unsure if he only wants you because he needs you, or if theyâre just the same thing to him.Â
He didnât even ask you why you wanted to leave. Maybe that should tell you enough.
â___, please. I just want to be with you.â
Itâs also at this moment when you realize just how much youâve fallen for him. Youâd feared that if he asked you to stay, you would, and that means putting another personâs needs ahead of yours again, just like what youâve done all these years. Staying would mean that youâd be unable to find yourself outside of all this, and youâve given up too much not to choose your own happiness this time, even if it means saying goodbye to the person who also makes you happy.
Finding what little strength you have in you, you turn to him. âI donât want to stay, Jungkook,â you say, your heart breaking as you utter the words, even more when you ask him to forget about everything that happened tonight. âWe canât do this. I canât do this with you. Not like this. Iâm so sorry.â
With your smashed heart in your hands, you do the hard thing and walk out the door, leaving in your wake a man whose broken pieces that youâve put together all shattered once again.Â
Walking down the block to get to the bus stop feels like a marathon, as the street feels so long with the heavy burden youâre carrying weighing you down too much. But you manage to get there, only to decide that youâd much rather spend the ride home on your own. You turn to a street to hail a cab then realize once you get in one that it was the spot where Jungkook had seen you, drenched under the rain with a sprained ankle.Â
He healed parts of you that night, with his quiet assurance that you didnât have to go through your struggles on your own. Youâd hold on to that thought months later, though youâre unsure about now - much as things hurt at this moment, all you want is to be alone.
You get off two stops early and mindlessly walk towards the convenience store, thinking that some snacks for dinner would do. You donât really feel like eating but your bodyâs needs are greater than your own desire to eat. Walking down the aisles, you decide youâre only good for some cup noodles tonight. You donât even deserve boiled eggs that you suddenly craved, nor honey chips, and you definitely donât deserve dessert after what you allowed to happen earlier.Â
You stop your movements once you realize youâre sitting on the same spot where you and Jungkook had eaten when he drove you home that night he took you to the park. It had been a terrible evening after that incident with your ex, but Jungkook was the protective one who helped shoulder all the anger that you were too exhausted to feel. He was a reliable and comforting presence, familiar yet new with his warmth. During the occasional moments in the weekend after when your mind would go to that night, youâd think of Jungkook and how he made you feel safe.
It feels too much, so you take your noodles and finish them on the bench outside. You walk home after, letting the crisp evening air envelop you as your mind replays what happened.Â
You donât think youâve ever wanted to feel someone the way you wanted to feel him, but you suppose thatâs why it hurts as much as it does. You wanted him to want you as much as you did, and you were perhaps foolish to think heâd have the same reasons as you. Maybe you were really just stupid for feeling anything in the first place, knowing your place in his world. Youâre everything convenient and easy and familiar and despite the week of walking on eggshells around him, you gave in so quickly. He knew what to do when it came to you.Â
And maybe thatâs on you. You allowed yourself to feel so much for a man whose life is so intertwined with yours that itâs hard to know whatâs real. Yet you know that despite all that, your desire for him is still too strong. Itâs why you had to leave right away.Â
Another moment of him pleading for you to not resign and you mightâve given in again. Another second of hearing him ask you to be with him and you wouldâve believed him - that there was sincerity in all that, that heâd be with you regardless if you stayed in the company or not. Now youâre left with the thought that the convenience was what he wanted, that as he crossed the line, it was all or nothing for him. And that youâd be the weak one, willing to give up what else you could be outside of all this just for him.Â
Perhaps youâre also asking for too much. Heâs used to a life without much consequences to his actions. Thereâs a lot he doesnât know, especially what you had to endure and give up to be here and what you want out of life now that youâre old enough to take control of it. Maybe for him, asking you to stay was that declaration and proof of his feelings; doing so took so much out of him already that thinking of what life would be like without being with you everyday was too hard of a reality to accept or work around.Â
Youâre too out of it that you donât realize that youâve been standing outside your door. Youâre thankful for the weekend at least. Youâll spend half of it in bed, and the other half preparing yourself for how youâll face him again, and how youâll finally say goodbye.Â
You enter and sigh at the warmth inside. Dropping your bag on the floor, you stand by your tiny dining table and take a bite off the apple you find in your fridge. You gaze at your shelf, the one filled with photos of your family and friends and a few more of different sceneries that you took using the disposable camera that Jungkook had gifted you for your birthday. Itâs another reminder of how much a part of your life heâs become, how, of all the people in the world, heâd been the one to show you that capturing moments is a gift you shouldnât take for granted.Â
You often wondered what moments he liked to capture. He doesnât have photos in his penthouse other than those of structures and buildings that are artistically taken. There are framed old blueprints and historical pieces but nothing of him and the people in his life.Â
Maybe he doesnât have good enough memories he wants to keep. For a short moment, you wished that the times he shared with you are ones heâd like to hold onto. But maybe the idea would hurt more - youâll just be a memory like he would be to you.Â
You always wanted to keep only good ones of him, but the sight of him rooted in his spot and in shock as you turned him down is far from something you want to remember. Heâs something you didnât know you wanted, but he stands between you and the life youâve always wished for yourself - one where you get to decide, to be free, to be happy.Â
Heâll let you go and forget all this, you think to yourself. Youâll be the one who walked away. And heâll be the one who didnât run after you.
Jungkook is stunned as he watches your retreating form. The sounds of your heels against the marble floor disappear as he remains unmoving from his spot in his room where heâd kissed you just moments earlier. You felt and tasted just like he imagined, and the moment his lips touched yours, he knew heâd want to keep kissing you over and over again.Â
It was the first time in a long time that he allowed himself to be honest about how he felt, giddy emotions included. It felt freeing to be able to admit all of that to you after all these months of denying it and walking around eggshells when it came to you. Heâd been sure, after last night, that you felt the same way, even more when he felt how your body reacted and how your heart raced, aching for him as much as his heart was yearning for you.Â
You sounded hypnotizing, too. The way youâd moaned his name ignited something in him that none of the women heâd slept with had ever done before, and he knows itâs because heâd never felt anything genuine for them. They were good for the moment but he knew, especially the instance that he felt you close, that he wanted you for more than that. He wanted the soft touches and the gentle whispers, the longing looks and the intertwined hands. He wanted more than he thought he would, but during his most vulnerable state, he uttered the words heâd been dying to say since last night when he learned of your plans.
He asked you to stay. He told you he needs you, that he wants to be with you.
They sounded like pleas and maybe thatâs what they were. From the deepest and coldest nooks of his heart, he was pleading for you to not leave. Heâd finally admitted what heâd been so scared to accept, but all his words did were hurt you.Â
You insisted that all he cared about was the convenience of being together everyday, that you staying meant heâd get to keep all that was familiar. And he doesnât know what would be taken away from you if you did.Â
You wanted him, too, didnât you? Wasnât that enough? And wasnât being with him all that mattered?Â
Sure, thereâd be complications, but those are things he knows youâd both be able to face, theyâre things you can navigate around and figure out together because this isn't just a one-time, spur-of-the-moment type of thing. He wants all of you, everything with you, whatever it takes.Â
He hadnât realized it until that second he held you in his arms. And then again when you pulled away, looked at him with glassy eyes, and told him you couldnât stay.Â
Heâd been too hurt to run after you. He didnât know what to say then. How would he, when youâre the one who couldnât commit to what you felt by staying around? He felt that betrayal, of that feeling of inadequacy, of his feelings for you not being enough. He bared his emotions to you after being so scared of doing so, and then you crushed his heart just like that, with his broken pieces that youâd just put together, scattered on the floor.Â
This isnât like him. Itâs been a long time since heâs allowed himself to feel so much for another person, to care for them, to want them in a way that scares him. But you showed him a life where it was possible to open himself up again, to find out what happiness could feel like this time, and in that same breath, you took it all away.
Heâs not sure where to go from here. But he decides heâll think about that tomorrow. Tonight, he just wants to forget. Tonight, he just wants to wallow in his sadness, erase the memory of your touch and the feel of your mouth against his, and let it all go.Â
Jungkook instructs Mr. Ri to go home. Heâll drive himself, he insists. Thereâs just no one right now he wants to be around.Â
He drinks a glass of whiskey for the road and manages to get home in one piece. He settles on the couch as he finishes another half bottle, then chugs down a few cans of beer after. The image of you gets blurry. His mouth numbs and he starts forgetting your taste on his lips, too.Â
His head falls on the pillow and his hand mindlessly reaches out. Thereâs no heartbeat that he feels; heâs forgotten how fast yours was already. The sound of your laughter and then of your moans is replaced with a buzzing in his ear as his mind starts to fall away.Â
The warmth of your body is gone but somehow he feels hot, so hot but he canât get his clothes off. He struggles a little, his fingers arenât doing their job so he gives up instead, curls into the corner of the couch, and for the briefest moment, he sees your smile so clearly. And then his mind drifts away completely, taking his confusion and yearning for you along with it.Â
At least for now, thereâs not much of you he remembers. But somewhere deep inside, he knows thatâll all change when he wakes up in the morning and searches for you, knowing you wonât be around to tell him that everything is gonna be okay.
Hoseok massages his temple as his sixth call to his cousin in the last half hour remains unanswered.Â
âHeâs still not picking up,â he groans, the unusual feeling of annoyance bubbling inside him at Jungkookâs irresponsibility.
Itâs Saturday morning and some friends of their family flew from Europe last night for lunch at the Jeonsâ estate. This gathering was scheduled in time for their grandfatherâs death anniversary today, and itâs an event that Mr. Jeon was adamant that Jungkook and Hoseok attend as their respective familiesâ representatives and as heirs of the company. Those friends had been there when their grandfather built Jeon Corporation from the ground up, and welcoming them is a sign of respect for that friendship and for the memory of the man theyâre celebrating today.Â
Jungkook had informed Mr. Ri that heâll be driving himself to the estate and promised to be there before 11 AM, as what his father had requested. Itâs half past that and heâs still nowhere to be found. He hasnât been picking up his phone and his friends claim they donât know where he is. Knowing how important today is, Hoseok wanted to accompany Mr. Ri in going to the younger manâs apartment to pick him up and find out why heâs late. When the elder Jeon asks, which he will, Hoseok would at least have a reason to give. It just better be a good one.
They both arrive at the building and are informed that Jungkookâs cars are still in their respective slots. Heâs not in any of the amenities and the guards report that they havenât seen him since he arrived on his own last night. He may not be a fan of these types of events but Jungkook always shows up. He knows what today means for their family; if not for his father, then at least for his grandfather, a man he respected and looked up to. If, for some reason, he failed to wake up, then he must be in a bad condition, and Hoseok either has to scold his cousin, or cover for him.
With no one answering the door, Mr. Ri uses his access and enters. Itâs dark and quiet inside, with the blinds all closed. When he and Hoseok find Jungkook passed out on the couch with an empty whiskey bottle and beer cans on the floor, itâs the same moment that Mr. Riâs phone rings, and itâs your name that lights up the screen.
âHi, Mr. Ri,â you groggily say. âIâm sorry I missed your calls. I had a late night and just woke up. Is everything okay?â
âIâm not sure,â he sighs, as he watches Hoseok pull Jungkook from his cowering form in an attempt to get him to wake up.
âWhat do you mean?â You ask, standing from your bed now, suddenly awake.Â
âI was calling to ask if you knew where Jungkook was. Their family gathering is today and he was supposed to be at his parentsâ house 30 minutes ago but he wasnât. He wasnât picking up our calls either.â
âOh, I⊠I donât know where he is,â you say softly, the mention of his name reminding you of what transpired last night, the image of Jungkookâs dejected look appearing in your mind. You worry about him though, wondering what time he got home. âHave you found him? Is he okay?âÂ
âHoseok and I are at his apartment and heâs passed out drunk,â Mr. Ri states, as Jungkook finally opens his eyes and mumbles some words that the older man has to walk closer to hear. âWhat happened last night, ___? Why is he calling your name? And why is he asking for you to come back?â
It shouldnât come as a surprise to you that Jungkook had spent last night drinking his feelings away. You know enough from your time with him that itâs what he does when heâs stressed or mad or frustrated, and then he wakes up the next morning and hits the gym to deal with his hangover. Thereâs none of that today, apparently, and you stop yourself from instructing Mr. Ri to prepare him some lemon ginger tea.Â
âWhat happened last night, ___?â He repeats. âDid you fight?â
âWeâŠâ you start, knowing that if thereâs anyone who has to know about last night, itâs the man on the other end of the phone. âWe, uh⊠we kissed. And then he asked me not to resign then I pulled away.â
Walking towards the kitchen to hand Hoseok a glass of water, Mr. Ri asks if youâd told Jungkook of your plans, stating that he hadnât told him about it.
âHe overheard us talking last Thursday,â you respond. âHe knew what I felt about him, kissed me, then asked me to stay. He said he didnât want me to go, that he wanted to be with me, and that we could be together everyday. It didnât feel right,â you continue, your voice shaking now as you recall the conversation. âIt wasnât supposed to happen that way. We were supposed to talk about it. He wasnât supposed to use my feelings against me like that.â
âDid you tell him why youâre planning on leaving?â
âNo⊠He just went on about needing me to be with him and I⊠I couldnât bear it,â you say, feeling the tears dance around your eyes. âYou told me that I could always leave but even then, Iâd always have a reason to stay but it would be their reason, not mine. I finally built the courage to decide on this because you know I need this. I donât want him to be my reason this time. Or else Iâll never be able to let all of it go.â
âI know,â Mr. Ri sighs, knowing more than anyone what you mean.Â
Heâll never be brave like you, but he understands that burden, that desire to just be free; he knows what itâs like to be held back even if itâs your own decision. Because at the end of the day, youâll always think you have a debt to be paid. He knows he does, but heâll always believe that you donât. Surviving was always enough.
âBut I think he has to know, ___,â he continues. âHe wouldnât let himself go through this kind of suffering if you donât mean that much to him. You have to tell him the truth. And I mean everything. You owe it to yourself, too. I know he means a lot to you but you canât move forward in any way, with or without him, if youâll just keep him in the dark.â
You let Mr. Riâs words settle. You told yourself the moment you entered the company that you wonât let your past define you, including your relationship with this family. Youâll work hard and everyone else will know you for that, and not for any other reason. You also knew that youâd spend every second of being here trying to prove to yourself that youâre capable, despite the irony that you were the one defining your time here based on your past that you just somehow couldnât run away from.Â
You werenât supposed to feel anything for Jungkook. You couldâve gone on with your plan of resigning without feeling bad that you were leaving him behind. And even in that alternative reality where heâd ask you to stay, it wouldâve been easy to say no. What makes this difficult is that you started to care. You got scared that if he asked you, you would stay. And now that he did, you have to be stronger than your desire to be with him.
Leaving would be hard, but staying would be much harder.Â
You wish it was easy to make him understand. But you suppose without him knowing the truth, he wouldnât be able to.Â
So you give Mr. Ri permission.Â
âI donât know how to tell him,â you say. âYou would. Make him understand. Maybe heâll let me go. Maybe heâll still come after me. And maybe heâll forgive me, too.â
Mr. Ri hums and drops the call. He returns to the living room where Jungkook is now seated upright on the couch, downing his second glass of water and taking medicine to deal with the hangover. The blinds are now up, causing him to squint his eyes. At least he looks alive now.Â
âThat was ___,â Mr. Ri says. âShe was wondering how you were.â
âDid you tell her I look terrible?âJungkook asks bitterly.
âI did. She also told me what happened.â
âWhat⊠happened?â Hoseok wonders. âDid you have a big fight?â
Knowing he has no way out of this, Jungkook tells the truth. âWe, uh, we kissed,â he answers, earning him a gasp from his cousin, who clarifies that while heâs not that surprised, heâs curious as to why both of you arenât together right now.
â___ plans on resigning. He asked her not to,â Mr. Ri answers. âBut you⊠you have to let her go, Jungkook. She needs to learn who she is and what she can do without anything holding her back.â
âIf thatâs her reason, then she has to know that she can keep learning who she is and what she can do here, with me,â Jungkook insists, slowly gaining clarity, as all the words he couldnât say last night suddenly come out so easily. âThereâs so much she can do. If what we feel for each other is the issue and that means she canât directly work for me, then there are other departments where sheâd fit well in. This isnât just about convenience for me. I want to see her everyday but having her around means I get to make sure sheâs taken care of, that sheâs treated well.â
âAnd then what? Sheâll feel indebted to you because of that?â Mr. Ri counters. âThis is more than just developing her skills or building her career, Jungkook. This is about being someone outside of this company. Itâs about doing something without feeling like she constantly has to prove that she deserves what she has.â
âAnd she does. Who does she have to prove anything to? Weâre beyond that. Everyone knows sheâs capable.â
âShe has to prove it to herself. It may be hard for you to understand but she⊠she wonât get to accept all that she is until sheâs ridden herself of the burden she carries. For as long as she works for your family, sheâll always feel it.â
The words feel a little too personal, Jungkook thinks, as Mr. Ri talks about your insecurities as if heâd seen you live them, and perhaps he has. The older man witnessed those first few turbulent weeks, and having known you since you started working here through the CEO, perhaps Mr. Ri had seen how your spirit broke a little because of Jungkook.
But still, something about the way Mr. Ri looks sullenly at him says that thereâs more to what the older man had seen, as if he himself is pleading for Jungkook to let you go this way, as if the care runs deep and the words carry so much more emotion.
âShe needs this, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri continues. âSheâs planned on leaving a few times before but her gratitude towards your family always pulled her back. If you really care about her, you wonât let that happen this time. If you want to be with her, youâll have to do it without her being here. Regardless of what she feels for you, she needs this more. You can let her go without really letting her go, you have to know that.â
It all feels too much and Jungkookâs mind is filled with so many questions. What do you owe his family? How does proving yourself have anything to do with leaving the company? How does he fit into all this? What do you need time away for? And how can he be with you at the end of it? Would you still want that, given that he didnât even ask you why?
âHow are you sure thatâs what she needs?â Jungkook asks, curiosity getting the best of him. Â
âIâve known her for 20 years, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri sighs. âI know itâs what she believes.â
Jungkook may still be dealing with a hangover, but he knows his ears didnât betray him. Twenty years, thatâs how long youâve known the man he trusts with his life, the man his father trusts with his familyâs life.Â
The tale is an open secret. Ri Byung-hun was a kid who grew up in the streets. He tried to steal from Jungkookâs grandfather, whose construction business then was slowly taking off. The elder man took pity on the young teen and sent him to school, and Byung-hun showed his gratitude by working for the family, eventually becoming Jungkookâs fatherâs chauffeur, bodyguard, and closest confidant all in one. The loyalty goes both ways, and itâs stood the test of time.Â
Jungkook doesnât know all the details but he knows enough. What he doesnât know is who you are in Mr. Riâs life, and why Jungkook hadnât heard of you before.Â
âHow do you know ___?â Jungkook finally manages to ask. âWho is she to you?â
âI know ___ because of her mother. And over 20 years ago, Cho Hye-soo was your fatherâs assistant.â
âSheâ what?âÂ
Jungkook canât hide his shock, and neither can Hoseok, who looks just as surprised about the truth as he is. His cousin wouldâve been in his early teens at that time, and as it was when it came to their familyâs children, training to become company heirs starts early, but they donât get immersed until during their late teenage years.Â
âI⊠I know Mrs. Cho,â Hoseok says. âIâve met her several times but I⊠I never knew. They never said anything.â
âIt wasnât something they wanted people to know,â Mr. Ri explains. âOther than both of your parents, Iâm the only other person who does. Too much time has passed for people to make the connection. It was just better that no one knew.âÂ
âWhat else did they not want people to know?â Jungkook asks. âWhat did ___ and her mom do? What⊠what do they owe our family?â
The elder man knew that at some point, Jungkook was going to have to learn the truth. He just didnât think it would have to be under these conditions, and that heâd be the one telling the young man about how your lives are intertwined, that whatever pain you both carried growing up, those would always lead you back to each other.Â
âYour father and Hye-soo were no different to how you and ___ are,â Mr. Ri starts. âHeâd just been appointed President and he was under a lot of pressure - from your grandfather, the Board, the rest of your family⊠He was always stressed and it didnât help that he was a perfectionist, just like you. That obviously affected your family, but it also affected those who worked for him, especially Hye-soo, who felt that she had a lot to prove.â
She didnât have a Seoul education but she was smart and resourceful, incredibly hardworking and devoted, something you inherited from her, the elder man shares. The similarities are striking, and Jungkook braces himself, hoping that they end there.Â
âShe always had to work overtime, including weekends, and that took a lot of time away from being with ___. Hye-soo would leave her daughter in the library where her friend worked, and that seemed to be enough. But of course, it wasnât easy, especially with a partner who lost his job and started drinking to cope.â
As Mr. Ri continues, Jungkook starts to fear something else, and so he asks.Â
âDid⊠did he hurt them?â
âHe yelled a lot,â Mr. Ri answers. âIâd hear it sometimes during breaks when sheâs on the phone with him and it crushed me every time. Hye-soo wouldnât say much, just that he was a good guy who just didnât know how to deal with hardships. She never justified his actions until of course, that piece of shit started hitting her.â
Jungkookâs heart breaks at the words, unable to imagine growing up in a household like that - feeling afraid, unsafe, and unfree.Â
âHye-soo assured me that Kang-ho never hurt ___. She was good at that, at protecting her child. One time, she was called to work on a Saturday and that didnât go well with him, but she⊠she always puts her daughter first, and that meant work would always be her priority because itâs what pays the bills and what sends her to school,â Mr. Ri narrates, his eyes growing more dejected by the second as he recalls those times.Â
âShe was rushing and couldnât properly conceal the bruise on her face. She was worried thatâs why she took ___ with her. Hye-soo kept crying as your father asked her what happened. She apologized for being late and for bringing her daughter to work, and she asked to stay in the office for the night until she figured out where they could go. I had never seen her break down like that,â he says, his voice shaking now. âAnd I wonât forget how scared ___ looked. She was just 10 years old then, clinging to her mother and not wanting to let her go. We were all strangers to her but somehow, she knew that we were there to protect them.â
The silence goes on, as both men take in Mr. Riâs words, but itâs Hoseok who asks what happened after, and eventually, what got you here.Â
âMr. and Mrs. Jeon didnât hesitate to help,â the older man shares. âThey had Hye-soo and ___ stay at the staff house in their estate for a few nights until they got a new place to stay. I helped them get their stuff after Kang-ho figured out what was happening and ran. The police had a warrant for his arrest but they couldnât find him for days.âÂ
Turning to Jungkook, he adds, âyour parents paid for all the legal and medical fees. Because Kang-ho knew they were helping, you all had to go away until he was found. Hye-soo and ___ went to Busan where he couldnât trace them; your parents stayed in one of their houses in Gwangju while you and your brother were in Gwacheon.â Mr. Ri sighs at the memory as he recalls those days. âThe reason why you were in that cabin was so they could protect you. I know you held a grudge against them for years because you thought they just left you there but they couldnât stay with you, Jungkook. You were all in danger and they had to keep you and Jeong-sik safe.â
Jungkook looks back at that night when everything changed for him. Things already werenât going well with his brother; the three-year gap and the way they were always compared kept them from getting along. His parents knew that, yet they still left him with Jeong-sik, who abandoned him in the woods when they played hide-and-seek. Thatâs where Jungkook was left alone, lost and scared under the rain, the thunder roaring as he yelled for someone to come. Heâs always lived with that fear, always carried that memory of anger and blame within him that transformed into a habit of just pushing people away, of keeping them out because that was better to accept than the knowledge that people he trusted left him on his own.Â
But thereâs a reason, he learns now, one that his parents kept from him to protect you and your mother, too. Itâs all too much, but he thinks now that maybe thereâs a reason why you were so patient with him, why you didnât judge him that night at the guest house, why you somehow understood what he was so scared of. He doesnât know if you know that the night at the cabin had anything to do with what you and your mother went through, but regardless, maybe thatâs why he always felt so strongly about you. The connection he was yearning for was always there, itâs tied to something, and he realizes itâs tied to your shared past.
âDid the police find the man?â Jungkook asks now, his headache somehow worsening from all the things heâs learning. But he just wants to know that you werenât even more hurt, that there was a way that his parents kept you safe.Â
âI did,â Mr. Ri responds. âI still had contact with people in the streets, and I left Gwacheon once I got a call that they knew where he was staying. I hunted him down and I handed him over⊠with a bloodied face and a few broken bones. They charged him for domestic violence and a few other crimes, including drug possession that would keep him in prison for years, long enough for Hye-soo and ___ to recover.â
âAnd what about you? Were you charged?â Jungkook wonders.
âNo, I claimed self-defense and Iââ
âBut it wasnât, was it?â Jungkook counters, knowing thereâs more to what Mr. Ri is saying.Â
âIt wasnât,â the old man admits, turning away as he says the words. âI couldâve done more but I⊠I couldnât lose myself to the anger even if it was all I felt. I knew Hye-soo wouldnât have forgiven me if I did.â
âYou loved her, didnât you?â Jungkook says, dawning on him now that everything Mr. Ri had done was so he could protect your mother and you. He realizes that all the times that the elder man looked out for you was because he was looking out for someone he truly cared about, someone who mattered the most to the person who mattered the most to him.
âI did,â Mr. Ri sighs. âI still do.â
Jungkook recalls the night during the team building and the elder manâs words, about the woman heâd loved for so long, and that moving on from her meant expending all that love to those he cares about, and now Jungkook knows that he was referring to you.Â
âDid she know? And did she love you back?â
âShe⊠she asked me to move to Busan with her and ___,â Mr. Ri answers, his eyes faraway as memories of that conversation come rushing back, how heâd wanted to just run away and build a life he never thought he could have with the woman heâd fallen so hard for, but how he had to make the hardest decision then, knowing it was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.Â
âWhy didnât you?â Jungkook wonders.Â
âI owe everything I have to your family, Jungkook,â Mr. Ri explains. âThey gave me a second chance. Your grandfather got me off the streets, your father taught me everything I know, they⊠they had my records cleaned. They did it when I was a kid and they did it again when I was an adult. The only way I could ever pay them back was through my loyalty. I couldnât leave, not after everything theyâve done for me.â
âBut you loved her. She was your second chance,â Jungkook argues.
âAnd that love caused me to commit a crime I shouldnât have. I was going to pay for it one way or another,â Mr. Ri responds. âThatâs how I chose to do it, by letting her go, knowing that Iâd be able to look after her and ___ better that way. Your father would protect me, and I would protect them. Thatâs⊠thatâs how things go.â
Itâs a tragic love story, Jungkook thinks. Two people who feel so much having to let each other go, their own pasts pushing them towards opposite directions. Decisions were made and that pulled them apart. He supposes that reciprocated feelings arenât always enough.
âWhat happened after that?â Hoseok asks now, wanting to know as well how you and your mother managed, and if thereâs any more danger that you face.
âThey stayed in Busan for a few years. They only returned to Daegu after they learned that Kang-ho died in prison after acquiring some respiratory disease,â Mr. Ri replies. âMr. and Mrs. Jeon helped with the move, too. They had me check on Hye-soo and ___ almost every month, just to make sure they were doing well. It was hard, of course. Hye-soo wasnât earning the same as she was so she took another job just to keep ___ in a good school. Mr. Jeon knew that, so he kept offering to pay for her education but Hye-soo always turned him down. That continued until she got to college, and knowing that her mom wonât accept help again, ___ was the one who decided to take the offer. They paid for her tuition, and she eventually got an internship in the company. She took the job offer, too, and sheâs just been working hard ever since, thinking that she has everything to prove.â
âWhy does my father think he can buy peopleâs loyalty just like that?â Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief. âIt traps people⊠it gives them no option.â
âI know it may seem that way but your father knows how important loyalty is, and itâs something that he gives, too. He trusts me just as much I trust him,â Mr. Ri defends. âBut when it comes to Hye-soo and ___, it isnât about loyalty but guilt. He blames himself for what happened to them. Even if it was all Kang-hoâs fault, your father always believed that if he hadnât been so demanding, things wouldnât have escalated. It was all the overtime, all the unfair requests that took Hye-sooâs time from her partner, from her daughter. He carries that guilt with him and how he treated her. In a way, I think that was his wake-up call. Work stopped consuming him after. He became considerate of his staff, asking about their families and how theyâre doing. He tried to make it up to you and your brother but that seemed to be the hardest thing for him; he didnât know how to get your trust back.â
âBut wasnt ___ choosing to work here about loyalty? She stayed every time he asked her to. She wouldnât have if she felt indebted to our family,â Jungkook remarks, not wanting to delve into his own relationship with his father.Â
âShe wanted to repay them just so her mom would stop carrying that burden,â Mr. Ri says. âThey were able to get away and build a new life where they were safe because of your parents and for ___, that always meant everything. She planned to work for them, but even a part of her felt that all the opportunities she was given was out of kindness. She always felt she didnât deserve it but your parents also think they canât ever make it up to her and her mother enough.â
At the silence, he continues. âPeople are complicated that way, I guess. We all have our own burdens to carry, our own past to deal with, our own actions to make peace with and accept. We make decisions based on what we think is best and just hope we donât regret them in the future. But we also make them as a way to take control of our own lives. Even if I regret letting Hye-soo go, I at least did it knowing that Iâll either have another chance at being with her, or that someone else will. And someone did, and I know for a fact that he loves her and ___ with all of him.â
âIn that sense, maybe resigning is ___âs way of taking control of her life this time, donât you think?â Hoseok turns to Jungkook, understanding where youâre coming from now, as he knows the feeling of not having to constantly prove yourself to others. âShe finally wants to let that burden go, to live as she wishes without feeling like she doesnât deserve what she has, even if it means not being next to you the way she wants to. If you make her stay, how do you think she can move on from all this? How can you be sure sheâs happy?â
Jungkook takes a deep breath, knowing itâs not enough to process everything heâs learned this morning. Thereâs that past he didnât know he shared with you, thereâs his relationship with his father that he doesnât know how to mend, thereâs his feelings for you, one thatâs still so strong and inescapable.Â
And then thereâs the thought that youâd known everything all along. Youâve been patient with him, you've been kind and understanding. Was that all because you felt like you had to? Because heâs the son of the people you feel that you owe a lot to?
Itâs not that Jungkook doubts your feelings for him, but he wonders if you do. Now that youâre able to make that decision to leave, what if walking away from his family also means you realize that your feelings are tied to that indebtedness, too? How real was it for you? And after you find yourself outside of all this, would you still want him?
The thoughts make his heart break, and this tells him that after knowing everything, he still canât deny what he feels about you. He still wants you just as much. Maybe the familiarity he always felt was because you are familiar. Maybe the connection was because of a painful past you both share, of a kind of pain you both understand. Maybe the intensity of feelings is a remnant from his childhood, one thatâs tied to yours in a serendipitous way.Â
Heâd like to think that even without knowing, you held out for him. You couldâve chosen to leave anytime before he came but you didnât, and your paths crossed this way and he convinces himself that you were always meant to meet each other, that you were always meant to make up for how intertwined and unfortunate your lives are. You never met then but this time, when you did, it meant so much more. He could only hope that itâs something you hold onto as well, and that when you decide to finally walk away, it doesnât mean you walk away from him completely, too.Â
âKook, I know thereâs a lot to think about but you have to get going,â Hoseok disrupts his thoughts. âYour father still wants us at that lunch. I know grandfather would, too.â
âYou should go ahead, Hoseok,â Mr. Ri says. âJust make an excuse to your uncle and say Iâm helping Jungkook fix up. Weâll head there right away.â
âNo, tell him that I know,â Jungkook insists. âIf⊠if heâs always wanted to mend our relationship, he and I have to start being honest with each other.â
âI will,â Hoseok says as he stands up to leave. âGet your head together, alright? Youâre gonna be fine.â
Jungkook massages his temples, knowing that he doesnât have time to get a workout in and rid himself of this terrible hangover. But he tries, as he takes a warm shower and asks Mr. Ri to prepare him a cup of lemon ginger tea and get some ginseng jelly for the ride.Â
The trip to his parentsâ estate starts off quiet, but the thoughts in his head are so loud that the older man asks what else is bothering him.Â
âHow was her time in Busan?â Jungkook asks.
âIt was good. She was a shy kid but she found good people she trusted and that meant everything,â Mr. Ri answers. âI visited them often, even when they returned to Daegu. But I stopped once ___ moved back to Seoul after college. Iâd ask her about her mother every now and then. It was nice to hear how well theyâre doing, and how happy they are with their new family. Min-wooâs a good man and his daughters love Hye-soo and ___ so much. It turned out well for them. When I think about that, itâs really hard not to justify the decisions I made.â
âWill you make them again? If given the chance?â
âIf I still think itâs whatâs best then, then I would. Sometimes we make decisions because of the other person, not exactly for ourselves. Sometimes thatâs how we realize just how much we love them, you know? When their happiness trumps our own.â
Jungkook merely hums. While he doesnât think heâs at that point with you, he cares enough to want you to have that chance to find your happiness, in whatever form that may be. And if leaving the company is what it takes, then he knows you deserve that and more. It doesnât change the fact that he wishes you can search for it while being with him, but perhaps itâs better if you find your way back to him instead. Heâll at least know you chose him, and not because you felt like you owed it to him to stay.
They make it to his parentsâ estate over an hour late. The guests have arrived and Jungkook greets them before finding his father. When their eyes meet, thereâs a look of sadness in the elder manâs eyes. Perhaps itâs understanding; maybe itâs an apology.
His mother gives him a long and tight hug, one that he savors for the first time in a long while. He remained distant from his parents after he decided to pursue further studies and then work in their office abroad. Itâs a relationship heâs still navigating. While his mother has always been present and affectionate, Jungkook is the one who stopped reciprocating. It just seemed easier that way, but he realizes that heâs missed her warmth after taking it for granted all these years.Â
The lunch gathering lasts for a few hours. Jungkook tries to pay attention to the conversations since engaging requires too much from him, especially after the morning heâs had. But his father doesnât reprimand him this time, and for that, heâs thankful. Hoseok keeps him on his toes though, but Jungkookâs mind constantly wanders towards you. He wonders how you got home last night, if you managed to get some rest, and if youâre spending your time being angry at him or if, by any chance, youâre missing him like heâs missing you.
Itâs 5 PM by the time the last guest leaves, and with Hoseok and A-yeong needing to attend a dinner party, Jungkook is left to speak with his parents alone.Â
âI heard you know the truth now,â his father says as he sits across from Jungkook in the garden. âIâm sorry I kept it from you.â
âDid you intend for me not to know and find out from someone else?â Jungkook asks.Â
â___ applied to the company with the intention of contributing in a small way,â his father says. âShe made it without any say from me and thatâs a testament to her skills and capabilities. When we met after her first day, she asked that she not be treated any differently, and I agreed. I stayed true to my word and I kept my distance, but when I heard about how Mrs. Byun treated her, I knew I couldnât just stand back. I encouraged her to apply for the EA position, knowing that she would be treated well. And with that, she asked me not to say who she is - not to Hoseok, and especially not to you. Thatâs not how she wants to be known. And I always respected her request.â
âDoes it make any difference, son?â His mother asks. âDoes knowing who she is to our family change the way you see her?â
âNo, but it makes me wonder how sheâd seen me all this time,â Jungkook says. âShe put up with me despite how I treated her. She was kind even if I was distant. She⊠she let me open myself up and thatâs⊠thatâs why I like her. That's why I asked her to be with me.â
The surprise on his parentsâ faces is immediate, but they stay calm, and itâs what prompts him to continue.
âI just hate to think that she suffered all that time because she still felt like she owed us. If you asked her to stay and help me, she wouldnât have been able to turn you down. And what if⊠sheâs confused her feelings for me for just⊠gratitude towards you?â
âOh, my dear son,â his mother sighs, taking his hand as a form of comfort. âWe are so sorry that all this has caused you to doubt her sincerity but if thereâs one thing we know about ___ is that sheâs genuine, and if you felt cared for by her, then she meant all that.â
âYes, I did ask her to help you, because I knew that if there was someone who could get through to you, it would be her,â his father says this time.
âSo you took advantage of her? Because you knew sheâd do what youâd ask,â Jungkook huffs.
âI did that because I knew that she would care, that she would understand. Thinking about it now, perhaps I asked for too much,â the elder man shakes his head. âSheâs a lot like her mother, and Iâve come to realize that youâre a lot like me. I needed someone like Hye-soo and somehow I just knew that you needed someone like ___. Both of you opening up and finding comfort in each other just happened, I suppose, and thatâs not such a bad thing, is it?â
âI donât know. Because now, she doubts what I feel and Iâm not sure about what she feels, too,â Jungkook admits, letting his own insecurities get the better of him. He hates that heâs started to doubt you as well.Â
âIf it matters, Iâve seen how she is with you. She cares about you, she worries about you. And the way you respond to her just means that your heart feels her sincerity, too,â his father responds. âDonât let anger or fear taint that for you.â
âArenât you mad about what happened?â Jungkook wonders. âSheâs my assistant and I ended up crossing a line. I kissed her. In my office.â
âPerhaps I should be,â his father hums. âBut with her planning on resigning, I suppose youâre already feeling a lot of emotions about that. I donât want to add anymore. Youâre an adult and you know that your actions have consequences. You just have to deal with them now. And donât ever do that again.â
Thereâs no anger in his fatherâs words. In fact, thereâs comfort that Jungkook has never heard before. It suspends his worries only for a short moment, as heâs reminded that you indeed plan on leaving. When that is, he doesnât know. But heâs gonna have to start dealing with your loss just as he needs to deal with his feelings for you. Itâs all too complicated; getting together despite what you both feel isnât that simple. Your happiness comes first. He knows he cares so much that itâs what he wants you to focus on.Â
âLetting her go now doesnât mean you have to let her go for good,â his mother tells him. âSheâll choose you if thatâs what her heart says. And at least then, youâll know for sure that she still wants you after everything.â
Jungkookâs parentsâ words echo in his mind for the rest of Saturday that he spends in his living room, choosing wine as his companion for the evening. Thereâs no intention of getting hammered unlike the night before though. The drink calms him down and allows him to have proper sleep this time. He spends the most of his Sunday in bed, thinking about you, then attempting to remove you from his mind.Â
Not wanting to deal with any more tension, he instructs Mr. Ri that Monday to just drive you straight to the office. Jungkook arrives and sees you stand up to greet him as he walks through the hallway, and he responds with a nod as his own greeting before heading straight to his room.
Thereâs that feeling again - of missing you, of hoping he could fix things but not knowing how, of wanting to ask you to stay but knowing he has to let you go, and of wishing that when he does, youâll find your way back to him again. He shakes off the thoughts during that short walk to his desk, feeling himself weaken with every moment that he spends far away from you.
Jungkook takes his seat and sighs as another day starts without his usual routine. Knowing he has no other choice, he pushes on. From his periphery, he sees you glancing at him through the window, and a part of him wishes itâs your attempt at seeing if you could speak with him, maybe ask if you could talk about what happened later on or about what he now knows about you. Or anything, really. He just wants to hear your voice again. Hopefully see your smile. Despite all his doubts about you, the emptiness he feels tells him that nothingâs changed - what he feels for you is real, and he might not know whatâll happen next, but he at least knows that what he wants is to be with you; he hopes heâll figure out how to do that with you.
He sees you glance at him again and it sparks a bit of hope. That is, until he spots the envelope on his desk, and inside it, your resignation letter.
He tries to act unaffected as he reads what youâve written. Itâs straight to the point, as you narrate your journey in the company, having started as an intern and then working in logistics before finding your footing as the Vice Presidentâs assistant. You list the skills youâve developed and other things youâve learned but that you think itâs time to venture into something new and different, noting how youâll take all your experiences with you in this new stage of your life.Â
You thank him for his guidance, and he almost breaks towards the end when you mention the Arts Center. You apologize for leaving before its completion, but youâre thankful because it allowed you to appreciate the beauty of things, that it made you understand the value of meaning and connection, and that his passion for it pushed you to find something that you want to be passionate about, too. Youâve given him something, and now he knows that in his own way, heâs given something to you, too.Â
You type away on your desktop while not-so-discreetly peeking into Jungkookâs office to see his reaction to your letter. Your plan was to resign after the Arts Center was launched, knowing how big of a project it is that needs all of Jungkookâs attention. He canât be distracted, and a part of you scolds yourself for being selfish about deciding to do this now.Â
But you also knew that you couldnât delay it any longer. After what happened last Friday, you didnât know how you could face him again, especially now that he knows everything. It didnât feel right to continue on, not just because of your feelings but because you crossed a line - you kissed and did all that in his office. That itself is unacceptable; it almost feels like a betrayal to his family, whom youâll have to painfully say goodbye to as well.Â
Mr. Ri visited you yesterday to give you comfort, knowing that youâd choose to go through this on your own again. Jungkook was devastated but was worried about you more than anything, you were told, and somehow that made the decision less difficult but still painful to make. You donât know if heâll ever truly understand, especially if finding yourself means letting him go despite the happiness he gives you.Â
Itâs not everyday you find someone you feel so much for, but then again, human beings are complicated - they can want something and be scared of it at the same time; they can have the chance to have it but doubt it all the same. What you feel for him should be enough to dispel your worries about his sincerity but thereâs too much going on in your mind at this point. Right now, you just want to get away. With him learning the truth, you suppose he needs time to process all that as well.Â
Youâll miss him though. Youâll miss everything about this place. But youâll miss him the most.Â
Your phone ringing disrupts your thoughts, and your heart races when you hear Jungkookâs voice on the other end.
âMs. Cho, please come to my office.â
You calm your nerves and find the strength to get off your seat and walk towards him. Heâd been expressionless the whole time, and you wonder if heâll hold off your resignation because itâs terrible timing. Either way, you try to prepare yourself for whatâs to come.Â
But clearly, you didnât do so enough, as youâre still left speechless when he holds out an envelope for you to take, the sight of his hands that once held you close breaking your heart again.
âI accept your resignation,â he says, his voice low and firm, his eyes not fully meeting yours. âYou have a month until your last day but you have two weeks worth of vacation and I urge you to take them before you leave.â
âThank you, sir,â you manage to say, your voice soft and shaking compared to his. âI⊠I will.â
âAnd this is your recommendation letter,â he says, handing you another envelope. âYouâve shown exceptional skills throughout your tenure here, Ms. Cho. Everyone youâve worked with says so, and Iâve seen that firsthand. Iâm sure that wherever you decide to work after this, youâll be another great asset. And my family wishes you good luck in your future endeavors. Thank you for all that youâve done for us.â
The words are too formal, too professional for your liking, and this breaks your heart even more. But you suppose thereâs no other way to do it. Youâre the one leaving; youâre the one who pulled away. After everything thatâs happened, youâre the one who walked out to find your happiness when Jungkook needed you the most, and you could only hope that one day, heâll forgive you for it. That heâll forgive you for all of it.
âThank you, Mr. Jeon,â you bow in thanks. âIâve said it all in my letter but once again, I appreciate everything youâve taught me.â
You bravely look him in the eyes as he seems to have found the courage to look at you, and the longer you do, the harder it all becomes.Â
âShall I commence the process of finding my replacement, sir?â You ask.
âThere is no need,â he replies. âIâve received approval from my father to have Lucas come in as my assistant effective immediately. Heâs scheduled to arrive this week, so you can spend the remaining time you have here turning over everything to him. I will announce your resignation to the team before then. You can also begin the offboarding process with HR so that there are no delays.â
âUnderstood, Mr. Jeon,â you say, the light in your eyes dimming as each second passes by.
âIs there anything else I could do to help you, Ms. Cho?âÂ
Thereâs a prolonged moment where you and Jungkook just look at each other, his eyes tinged with a kind of sadness that you perhaps mirror, with words swimming in your own heads that neither of you wants to say out loud.
You wish heâd say that heâs okay, that he forgives you, and that he hopes it didnât have to be this way.Â
He wishes youâd say that youâre sorry for leaving him, that youâll be thinking about him, and that you hope youâll find your way back to him again.
You want to tell him that heâs all you could think about, that youâll miss him everyday, that youâll search for beautiful things that are tangible like you said you would, and hope they would lead you back to him.Â
He wants to say that heâll look for you everywhere, that heâll hold onto every good memory you have together, that he hopes you find whatever makes you happy, and that heâll wait for you until you realize that it could be him.
But the moment passes and then itâs gone. You bow once more and head out the door.
You take your seat and will yourself not to cry. You canât help it though, even as you press your palms against your ears to drown out the sounds of your own sadness, of your heartâs call of his name even if youâre the one walking away.Â
You let the tears fall, a reminder that youâd done this, and that for the first time in your life, youâre crying over losing someone, even if he was someone you didnât have in the first place.Â
Maybe you werenât meant to have him at all.Â
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Congratulations on the incredible milestone Connie!!! You are amazing âš I would love to request -âPut me down!â With either Dave York or Oberyn Martell or Javier Peña please đ„°
Oberyn Martell.
1,319 words.
"Put me down!"
(Warnings: mentions of sex work, arguing as foreplay)
Co-written with @absurdthirst
"Put me down!" Beating on his back does you no good as the damnably stubborn and terribly broad man has you thrown over his shoulder on his way through the halls of the palace. The whole morning was an uproar, then this presentation at the afternoon meal and suddenly youâre being carried off by the prince.
Oberyn chuckles and reaches up with the hand not banded around the back of your knees and smacks your ass sharply, pleased that you are no longer wearing the sufferable undergarments that you had on when you arrived. "When you are in my bed, where you belong." He tells you, after your screech of surprises bounces off the stone walls.
âI can walk, dammit!â Thereâs no guarantee that youâll walk in the direction he wants you to, of course. But you do have working legs and this whole charade is very akin to stealing a maiden off of a battlefield.
He caresses your ass and chuckles again. âBut I would prefer to know you will be in my bed, Dove.â He coos, smirking to himself when you wiggle against his palm.
âThen you ought to have asked,â you hiss, doing your very best to get out of his grip even knowing youâll fall to the floor when you do. âRather than commanding.â
âI do not ask.â He reminds you, his tone light and playful. âYou should know that by now.â
He usually does not need to ask. You know that. The prince is handsome, charming, and seductive in innumerable ways. Typically, all he has to do is smile and all potential lovers melt. It isnât that you donât find Prince Oberyn attractive â after all you have eyes â itâs that you donât take well to having your life decided for you. âThen youâre a brute,â you decide with finality.
Oberyn hisses, annoyance making him quicken his steps until he is bursting through the door of his large chambers and dumping you in the middle of a bed large enough to hold several grown men. âOnly when fighting, my salty Dove.â
âWhy me?â It is a demand of your own, as you struggle to maintain any kind of dignity while being thrown backward and bouncing in a highly unbecoming way.
âYou would rather be at the whorehouse your father was going to sell you to?â Oberyn snorts as he stares down at you. âI assure you; they would not be a kind as I am.â
âTheâwhat?â Your eyes blow wide, mouth falling open in horror as you stare up at him. This is the first youâre hearing of any whorehouse and you can feel all the blood drain from your face from the shock.
Oberyn tilts his head, sure that you had been made aware of the circumstances of your arrival to his household. âYour father could not cover his debts.â He informs you. âHe was at the whorehouse in Braavos, attempting to sell you to them, sight unseen.â He shrugs. âI paid for you instead.â
âYouâŠâ There is not, unfortunately, any doubt in your mind that he is telling the truth. Your father is an insensitive man who outlived his wife and was burdened with many children. As the youngest girl, you are essentially useless to him. A fact that you have been told many times before. Too high born to be able to find work but low enough that the absence of a dowry means you will never be married, apparently this is the solution that your horrible father decided on instead. To sell his daughter for her body. Your mother would be absolutely horrified. âI hope you did not overpay.â Is what you say finally, when you can shake off the cloud of disbelief and dismay.
âI have yet to determine the value of the purchase.â He is joking, not liking the look of horror and sorrow on your face. âYou will not be mistreated. Or forced.â He adds. âI do not enjoy fighting and fucking at the same time.â
âThat makes you more civilized than most men,â you huff, sitting up on the large mattress and trying to get a hold of your composure. âEven if you do purchase and transport women like a side of beef.â
Oberyn snorts and shakes his head, admiring your spirit. âYou will do fine here.â He predicts. âThough you should wear less.â He hums. âSunspear is hotter than your province.â
Of course he wants you to wear less. That would have made you laugh if you werenât so distraught. Instead you swallow your pride for a mere few seconds and look up at the prince. âWhat will you do with me if I refuse to come to your bed?â
âThen you will sleep in a very large bed by yourself while I find my pleasure elsewhere.â Oberyn smirks. âThough you will be welcome to join. I know my lover will find you exquisite.â
The second prince of Dorneâs appetite being legendary, you tilt your head at his choice of words. âI was under the impression you never have just one lover.â
âThere are lovers and then there is Ellaria.â He explains. âMy paramour. Mother to four of my girls.â
âThe woman who does not want to be princess.â Nodding slowly, you try to sit up again and end up feeling very off kilter. âI have heard of her.â
âWe have others in our bed.â He explains. âShe is happy to have others, men and women. Finding pleasure with me and on her own.â
âSo youâŠwill not force me?â The idea seems unfathomable, since the prince literally bought and paid for you. But so far he has not lied. That you know of. âTruly?â
âI would kill any man that forced my daughters, if they did not kill him themselves.â He rationalizes. âAfter I separate his cock from his body.â He shrugs. âWhy would I let them believe it is acceptable that I force someone?â
âMy father has daughters and look what he did.â Shifting to the edge of the bed, you let your legs hang over and cover them with your skirts while you try to gather your thoughts. âVery well.â After a few long moments of silence, you press out a sigh. âI suppose this is where I live now, soâŠwould you be kind enough to show me to my quarters without hoisting me like a sack of grain?â
âDove, you are sitting in your chamber.â Oberyn chuckles and gestures around. âYour trunks will be delivered as soon as they arrive. I made your father have all your things packed.â
âBut this is your chamber.â
âVery astute, my lovely girl.â He winks at you and strolls over to a bowl full of nuts and berries. âI will not force you to take my cock, but you will stay here and become close with me and my paramour.â
âI will have no privacy?â A very well-appointed prison, it sounds like. Although you cannot complain about the view.
âYou wish to sleep elsewhere?â He asks, surprised that you would. Most would be thrilled to share a chamber with him.
Realizing from his surprise that you might be the first proposed lover to ever ask for such a thing, you sink into yourself a little. âI simply wish to have a choice,â you tell him honestly.
âSleep wherever you choose.â Oberyn shrugs after a moment and pops another mouthful of nuts into his mouth. âIt does not matter to me.â
âIn that case?â For the first time since this all began, you feel yourself begin to relax slightly. âThis may not be such an arduous arrangement for either of us after all.â
Oberyn lifts and brow and smirks, aware â even if you arenât â that you will fall into his bed on your own accord within the week. He doesnât voice that, just chews on his snack and admires the beauty of the woman he had bought.
______
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Read Between The Lines
Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Word Count: 6.6k
Summary: There shouldnât have been anything unusual about your routine visit to the local bookstore. Your life was simple and mundane, even if you were a daydreamer at heart. But you were pleasantly surprised when this time you met a handsome stranger between the shelves.
Warnings: Pure fluff, meet cute, meddling bookstore owners, lets also pretend that walking someone home after youâve only just met is fine đ
đ€Ł
Authorâs Note: Unbetaâd, warning graphics and dividers by @rookthorne đ hope you enjoy your gift my love đ„°
It was an early morning in Brooklyn as you walked down the cobblestone path â a light dusting of wind had you wrapping your coat tighter around you while a chill tingled your cheeks.Â
Finally, a free day marked out in your calendar meant you had the opportunity to spend some time to yourself and of course, that had to include the cutesy, tucked away bookshop â fittingly named Hidden Treasures â found in an unplanned outing; a true secret gem you held dear to your heart.Â
Weekly stops to your new bookstore soon became routine in your life. A daydreamer at heart, you were always on the hunt for a new fairytale or fantasy to delve into; best friends to lovers, soulmates bound to fall in love, a bump in with a handsome stranger â a girl could dream.Â
Modern dating had proven disastrous for you when plenty of first dates arranged online had turned sour fast. That embarrassment was enough to have you swear off real romance for life.Â
So, you had always kept your head in your books. Yes, your days might have been a little stale. And yes, you could have used a little more excitement in your life. But, you were more than happy to stick to your safety net of fictional men â they would never disappoint you.
The chime from the store bell rang as soon as you opened the door and stepped inside. Shimmying your coat and scarf off, you hung them on the rack and sighed happily. By the counter as always was Teddy; the sweet, old man who had greeted you with a beaming smile and an enthusiastic wave since your first visit. âMorning, darlinâ!â
âGood morning, Ted.â It was impossible to contain your wide grin as you stomped the dirt off your boots onto the mat, happy to see the bookstore owner and your now good friend. âIâll catch you when Iâm finished, okay?âÂ
As usual, Teddy gave you the go ahead with a nudge of his head to get on with your weekly haul, already expecting you to jump into your adventure of fiction and find him after.Â
The feeling of being transported into another world each time never disappeared. The floor to ceiling oak bookshelves wrapped in green vines, towered over you like castles and the bumps and ridges of variously sized books you ran your hands over reminded you of their stone walls. Fairy lights were strung between the exposed wooden beams of the roof and streams of daylight casted in through the window that brightened the shop.
All your responsibilities vanished for the time being and a blissful peace clouded the stress and anxiety of the week. It was magical.
Endless coves and hideouts hid around the shop â the amount of times you had gotten lost, even in such a small space, never failed to amuse Teddy. You would always find your way back to the counter, a stack of books overflowing in your arms with a sheepish expression. You were still finding secrets to this very day.Â
After idly walking around the cozy bookshop for a while with no real goal, you eventually decided to stroll towards the romance section. You were on a mission to find the next installment of the series you were currently reading, browsing from A-Z and trailing the tip of your finger along the coffee stained, worned spines.
The rustic smell you could only find between the pages of written stories were deeply breathed in as you hummed along to the calm jazz song that played from the speakers. You scoured through the endless selection until you reached exactly what you were looking for. Finger coming to a stop, you were about to carefully pluck the book from the shelf.Â
Now, you believed you were a cautious person â a healthy amount of awareness of your surroundings never hurt to keep you safe. However, instinct seemed to fail you when a figure brushed your back. They were directly behind you, light on their feet and quiet.Â
The tiny hairs on your arms stood up, alert with the presence close by and before you could have spun around, a thick arm stretched over the top of your head and into your vision. Â
The feel of ringed fingers gently brushed against yours as they landed on the book you planned to take. You looked at both of your hands, transfixed at the difference in size between you. The staccato of your heart was sent into overdrive, thumping wildly against your chest.Â
You watched in real time as the cold silver against your warm skin thrummed all the way through your body, a bolt of electricity tingling your nerves â never had you felt more alive. Â Â
Following a path from the stranger's hands all the way up his arms, the pattern of colourful tattoos screamed out at you. Beautiful, intricate designs with immaculate detailing bursted over his olive skin and decorated his frame perfectly.Â
There was no doubt this stranger heard the small gasp you let loose. But you couldnât have helped it. Those arms taunted you â the devil on your shoulder poked its sharp tail against you and whispered delightful sins into your ear.Â
Down girl. You didn't even know him yet.
âOh!â The stranger exclaimed. âMy apologies, Doll. Looks like we were reaching for the same book.â The deep voice that rumbled above caused a shiver to run down your spine â pure heaven in your ears.Â
You gained the courage to turn around and look up at his face, and you were utterly mesmerised at the ocean blues staring straight into your soul, reaching into the deep valleys of guarded secrets you kept close to your heart. Everything you wanted to keep hidden started to unravel in one look. You were unsure whether you loved it or hated it. Â
Your mouth fell agape as this tattooed stranger with a dreamy gaze smirked, watching you take his appearance in. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you racked your head for something to say as your eyes darted over his features â desperate to take in his beauty.Â
However, you failed to realise this man had also been basking in your beauty too, obsessing over every detail of your face. You watched him slowly lick his lips, flitting his eyes up and down your figure before he summarised, âHuh â I guess you do look the type for a good romance.âÂ
As much as you tried to remain composed, your mind apparently had decided that was the time to throw your filter out the window. âI canât say the same for you.âÂ
Your mouth instantly fell open in shock, mortified at your audacity. The embarrassment of your own awkward nature forced you to slap your hand over your mouth.Â
Quick to want to rectify your mistake, you stuttered, falling over your own words as you attempted to say your apologies. âOh my god. I didnâtâ I didnât mean it like that, I swear! Justâ just with the tattoos andâ and theâ the umâŠâ your words trailed off as you gawked at his nose ring in awe.
You were too busy lost in this manâs invisible spell to notice the laugh he tried to keep in. All you paid attention to was his teeth biting into his plump bottom lip.Â
However, it was the sudden realisation of the position the two of you hadnât moved from that shook you out of your haze â now hyper aware of the proximity against each of your chests. The way this walking, tatted sin on legs, plucked straight from your dreams held eye contact astounded you. Your legs were almost forced to cross over each other, to stop the flutter between them as his breath tickled your neck and the scent of mint and leather permeated your senses.Â
Outwardly shaking your head to snap out of your brain fog, you stepped back to lean against the bookshelf, out of this unusual hold of a stranger so you could actually think properly.Â
You undoubtedly expected him to bid you farewell, for him to take offense to your quip (rightfully so)Â and never see him again â your chance flushed down the drain already due to your own inability to socialise like a human being.Â
The world would be that cruel to you, you figured. To dangle the most gorgeous man you had ever seen in front of you only to rip him away because of your lack of grace. Why not after your so called luck with dating?Â
So it was to your pleasant surprise that instead, this stranger wasnât repelled by you and in fact took a step closer towards you, eyes homed onto yours intensely with a glint of mischief. âWhile my looks may be deceiving,â he rested his hand on the shelf beside you and leaned down to your height. âI sure donât mind the element of surprise if it captures the attention of a pretty girl.â
The charm and the charisma that seeped from his pores had you releasing a giggle. And the delight of being the cause of that twinkle in his cerulean eyes was unlike anything else.
Testing the waters, you teased him, praying you didnt mess up the second chance you had been graciously gifted. âDo you normally pick up girls in bookstores?â
The bewitching stranger didnât let up on his allure though. âThis is actually my first time, is it obvious how bad I am at this?â
âYouâre not doing so bad.â You shrugged, a smile edging its way into your face.Â
âWell, thank god for that.â He dramatically clasped his hand to his heart, blowing out a breath. âI was hoping that would work because I had no more pick up lines to win you over.â
Your laughter filled the aisle. His endearing nature â just the right balance of wit and appeal â attracted you even more.Â
A calm broke over the two of you as your joint amusement naturally settled. You both continued to gaze at the other before your companion introduced himself. âIâm Bucky.â
Bucky. You finally had the strangerâs name and it suited him, you figured. Hearing it gave you a warm feeling in your chest and an itch to test it on your tongue.Â
âCan I have the pleasure of knowing your name too?â he asked smoothly.
The subtle cock of his head and that damned sparkle in his eye, finished off with a tongue in cheek smile almost had you giving in. Bucky was patient as the tension brewed in the air and he looked at you as though all of his problems would have been answered if he knew what to call you.Â
However, a sudden defiant nature within you wanted to test him. Make him work for something so personal. âI think Iâll stick with keeping it to myself for now,â you granted him instead.
Bucky was visibly surprised with your comeback, eyes widening the slightest as he stood tall and slid his hands into his jean pockets, but the glint in his eyes told you he liked your sass â a mystery stood in front of him that he was desperate to unravel.Â
âElusive, I like it.â He cocked his hip and grinned, giving you an appreciative once over before he declared, âDoll it is then, sweetheart.âÂ
Your heart swooped. Like you were on a rollercoaster, about to drop from the highest point. The rush you experienced from one small interaction was addictive and you wanted more.Â
âSo,â Bucky said. âWhatâs a girl like you doing in a place like this?â As soon as the words left his mouth, he squeezed his eyes shut and winced as a flush crept up his neck.Â
Discreetly, you covered your mouth with your hand to hide the laughter lodged in your throat. You actually thought his dorkiness was adorable, but you wanted to let him suffer for a little longer. âIs that really what youâre going with?â You sniggered. âI knew you said you were out of pick up lines, big guy, but youâre scraping the barrel with that one.â Â
Bucky squinted his eyes open and sighed. âI know â I know â that one was awful.â Surprisingly, he managed to pull you back in with his dreamy smile. âI swear I got better game than that.âÂ
âOh really?â You challenged, crossing your arms over each other. âI donât believe it.â
But as quick as a whistle, he retorted. âGo out with me and youâll soon know how I could win you over.â
It was your turn to stifle the heat rising to your cheeks. There was a hopefulness in his gaze, desperately pulling you in. The hopeless romantic in you could have fallen in love with him right there and then, but you knew that wasnât at all reasonable or realistic.Â
âOkay, Iâll give you that one,â you laughed. Turning on your heels to pluck the very book that had been the cause of your bump in with your beautiful stranger, you waved the book over your shoulder, âBut I think I better go pay for this.âÂ
âAh, you beat me to it, Doll.â He clicked his tongue, a bout of sadness to his tone. âWould you mind if I walked with you? Iâve already got everything I hoped for.â Buckyâs eyes never left yours as he reached over the top of your head, once again trapping you, and taking a book from the shelf.Â
Had your mind been any less fuzzy, you would have noticed he hadnât even looked at which book he was reaching for, picking one at random to gently wave in the air between you, too.
You cleared your throat. âYâyeah, of course! Not a problem whatsoever.âÂ
After Bucky had stepped back, he gestured for you to go first and the two of you silently walked over to the counter. You tried to discreetly glance over your shoulder, unable to resist looking at him. But your cheeks heated up when he met your gaze and winked.Â
Once you reached the counter, you offered a bright smile to Teddy, who was already grinning back at you. Placing your chosen book on the wood between you for him to scan, he raised an eyebrow in surprise. âJust the one for you today, little one?âÂ
âJust the one this time, Ted.â You confirmed.Â
âThatâs unlike you.â Teddy hummed in thought. âDidnât find anything else you like back there?âÂ
You mumbled under your breath, quiet enough that Teddy struggled to hear, âYou could say that.â
Aware that Bucky was literally right behind you, you swiftly changed the subject. âHowâs that husband of yours getting on anyway?â
George, said husband of Teddy, had been away for a trip overseas to collect rare editions of books on his wish list (along with a few surprise items for Teddy that you knew of) and as much as Teddy loved to keep up his beloved, bubbly personality alive in the shop, you knew he missed him deep down. The pair of them were two peas in a pod â incomplete without the other.Â
So, you were shocked to see a grin crawl on his face as he scanned your book. âYou can ask him yourself.â
You were confused until another figure popped their head around the doorway of the back room with a flourish. You gasped and ran towards him, throwing your arms around his neck for a hug. âGeorge! I wasnât expecting you back so soon!â
George rocked you side to side with a big squeeze before he held you at arms length with fondness to check you over. Your face scrunched up when he booped the tip of your nose. âYeah well, you canât keep me away for too long, sweetheart.â Playfully side eyeing Teddy, he brought you closer and whispered loud enough for his husband to hear him say, âBesides, someone has to keep this troublemaker in check, donât they?âÂ
âHaven't got the slightest idea what you could mean, Georgie.â Teddy overheard and put on his most innocent face. You giggled into George, amused by his husbandâs antics. âIâm an angel.â
Their love encompassed everything you wanted from a life partner. You longed for their banter and their care and the passionate fire that was still raging all these years later between them.Â
Looking over to Bucky, you were caught off guard to find him gazing at you already, a smile on his face that slightly scrunched up his nose.Â
You stepped back to the counter, heated under the spotlight just as Teddy rang you up with a price. Though, you didnât miss the seemingly casual glance he made behind you. âMorninâ, Buck. Got any nice plans for today?âÂ
You frowned, surprised that they were familiar with each other. Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke from behind you, âJust a small visit here today Iâm afraid, Ted.â
Teddy still continued to speak over your shoulder as he took a suspiciously long time to bag up your book. âRight,â he murmured. âNo plans for the rest of the day then?âÂ
âNah.â Bucky's voice rumbled at your back, as if he had taken a step closer to you. âNothing else, unfortunately. Canât go anywhere without a pretty date now, can I, Teds?â
Almost immediately, Teddy looked at you, a glint in his eye of excitement before he innocently offered, âI may know someone.âÂ
You choked, causing all three men to look at you; Teddy had a shit eating grin on his face, while George tried to hide his laughter in his hand â unsuccessfully. You could even feel Buckyâs stare locked in on you from behind.Â
âDonât you dare,â you muttered under your breath to Teddy.Â
But you knew by his wicked smile your threat wouldnât stop him from meddling. âWhy donât you walk little one home after this? Get to know each other,â he said to Bucky.Â
Amazed by the manâs audacity, you scolded him. âTeddy!â
âNonsense, girl,â Teddy rounded the counter to you and slid his arm around your shoulders, turning you towards Bucky before he continued. âBesides, you heard the boy. He needs some company and I know for a fact youâve got no plans apart from locking yourself at home.â Teddy looked proud of himself as he shrugged. âProblem solved.âÂ
He wasnât lying. Although you were a little embarrassed he would out you like that, you in fact did not have any other plans. Traitor.Â
âAs lovely as Bucky seems, I donât know him, Ted.â Quickly you glanced at Bucky and shyly uttered, âI mean no offense by that.â
âDonât worry, dollface,â he said and you just knew by the grin on his face he was about to tease you. âI think Iâm used to it by now.âÂ
Bucky snorted at your mouth falling open in shock. Â Cheeky bastard.Â
âOh, dating back in my day was so easy.â Teddy sighed. âYou liked the look of someone? You speak to them. You want to get to know them? Great! Ask them out.â
You shook your head in exasperation. The complexities of modern dating weren't as simple as Teddyâs reasoning. Respectful, charming men didnât just fall from the sky, unfortunately, and fairytales didnât just happen.Â
Looking at Bucky, you gave him an apologetic smile. âIâm sorry about him.â You threw a lighthearted glare at Teddy while you admonished him. âSomeone doesnât know how to keep their mouth shut.â
Bucky waited until you looked at him and shrugged with a lopsided smile. âEh, I donât mind the old man so much.â Scratching the back of his head, he admitted, âEspecially when he sets me up with pretty girls in bookstores.âÂ
Okay, maybe a few charming men fell from the sky.Â
You clasped your hands together tightly, repressing the urge to squeak from giddiness.
Bucky stepped forward and placed his single book onto the counter before he offered his arm to you. âWhat do you say, Doll? Fancy humoring me?âÂ
While Bucky was still technically a stranger, Teddy knew him and one thing you were sure of was that he would never let any harm or danger come to you â you would be safe.Â
Sighing lightheartedly, you stepped out of Teddyâs hold and stood before Bucky. You observed the slight bob of his Adamâs apple, taking pleasure in the small victory of his nerves and decided to put him out of his misery. âI guess you wouldnât be the worst company on my way home.âÂ
Hooking your arm through Buckyâs, the glee that overtook his adorable face was worth your decision alone. He looked over to Teddy and gave him a single nod. âI'll take good care of her, Ted.â
âYou better boy, because now Iâm in trouble.âÂ
You grabbed your book from Teddy, already bagged and paid for. âMe and you will talk next time,â you warned.Â
Teddy tightened his lips, hiding his laughter as he saluted you. âYes, maâam.âÂ
Rolling your eyes, you looked to Bucky, âYouâre sure you donât mind? Please donât feel as though you have to do this.âÂ
But he just smiled earnestly, subtly pulling you closer towards him. âBelieve me when I say I absolutely want to do this.â
Your cheeks warmed, flustered beyond belief. You were relieved as he started to usher you towards the coat rack, helping you pull your coat over your shoulders and wrapping your scarf around you. Â
With a departing wave, you said goodbye to both George and Teddy as you began to exit the store. Teddyâs shout of, âHave fun kids, donât do anything I wouldnât do!â was the last thing you both heard before the door closed.
George rounded the counter, having witnessed the whole exchange and curled up to his husbands side. He squinted his eyes in suspicion. âWhat are you up to, mister?â
Teddy continued to watch the two of you walk into the distance out the window, both jittery, arm in arm and a joint hidden excitement to be together. He just smiled as he shrugged. âOh, nothing much, dear.â
âLittle one, huh? Very cute.â
âOh, god,â you groaned, ducking your head in embarrassment. Â
Bucky wasnât deterred by your timidness, however as he gently nudged your shoulder and playfully whispered, âAlmost suits you as much as Doll, sweetheart.âÂ
Your huff of breath froze over in the cold air and you looked up at him with a shy smirk before shaking your head. âYouâre good, you know. The women must love this â you stealing them from their daily life and whisking them away on dates.â
Bucky just laughed before he brought you closer to him, slinging an arm over your shoulder as he said, âOh, so you're admitting this is a date, Doll?âÂ
You couldnât help gazing into his stormy blue eyes that lit up in the sunrise above you. He was carved by angels, you swore by it.Â
Walking forward, you detached yourself from Buckyâs hold, letting his arm drop, and spoke over your shoulder, âPlay your cards right, handsome and weâll see what this is by the end of the walk.â
You caught the redness creeping up Buckyâs face before you turned your head forward, though you did miss his goofy fist pump in the air.Â
The thud of his heavy footsteps neared as he caught up to you and you decided to play dumb when he sneakily snaked his arm through yours.Â
âSo, Bucky,â you began. âSince weâre still practically strangers, letâs get to know each other.âÂ
He quickly recovered and nodded in agreement, âGreat idea, Doll. What do you wanna know?â
âTell me what you do for work,â you said.Â
Bucky cheekily smiled before asking, âAny guesses before I tell you? No offense will be taken.âÂ
âWow,â you laughed. âYouâre really making me work for forgiveness arenât you?â You hummed in thought before saying aloud, âOkay, I have something.âÂ
He raised his eyebrow. âHit me with it, Doll.âÂ
You hesitated a second before you muttered, âA drummer.â
âWhat?!â Bucky laughed in shock and stared at you, eyes wide. âA drummer?â
Giggling, you held your defense. âOh, come on! You canât blame me with the tattoos and the jewelry.â You gestured to his form before shrugging. âYou just have this classic rockstar look to you â nothing wrong with that of course.âÂ
Bucky held his free bare hand out, red from the cold and decorated with black ink. With a smirk, he leaned over to whisper in your ear, âThe tattoos doinâ it for ya, Doll?âÂ
His Brooklyn drawl caused a shiver to run down your spine and you lightly gasped. He chuckled, overly satisfied to have made you flustered while you attempted to keep your dignity in tact.Â
You bumped his hip with yours, ignoring his laughter. Brushing his flirtations off to try and keep your composure, you asked, âWhat is it you do then?â
A proud smile on his face, he answered, âIâm the owner of a vintage bike shop.âÂ
You turned to look at him, taking in his appearance for the umpteenth time and cocked your head. âHm⊠I can see that actually. You got the whole biker aesthetic going for you.âÂ
You were pleased to see a small dust of red coat his cheeks. âThanks, Dolly. Got anything else for me?â he asked, squeezing your hand.Â
âDo you have any family?â you asked tentatively, worried it may be a sensitive topic.Â
But Buckyâs face lit up at the mention and he turned to you, resembling an excited puppy. âI have the best family, Doll. My momâWinnie, she raised me and my sister, Becca. Theyâre both amazing women andââÂ
As he went on, you stared at him and admired the way he spoke about the two most important women in his life â so full of love and awe for them that you felt like you knew them yourself. Your own mother had always taught you to take notice of a way a man speaks about other women in order for you to know how he would treat you. You were happy that Bucky did not disappoint.Â
Along your walk, you had learnt how Bucky had a secret passion for pottery, something that allowed him to create beauty and art from his calloused and worn hands that years of oil and mechanical work had damaged. You were also over the moon to hear he was an avid reader. Of course you knew he must have a knack for reading if you met him at a bookstore. But, his detailing of certain stories he enjoyed and quotes that had stuck with him from authors he loved had your heart melting even more.Â
The two of you continued to ask questions back and forth, learning more about the other as you walked together. Â
âSo,â Bucky started. âHypothetically speaking of course, since this isnât our first date, what would your perfect one look like?âÂ
You looked at him from the corner of your eye, watching as his eyes suspiciously darted around â whether he was digging for key information or not was a mystery to you. But you decided to answer the question anyway.Â
âI think,â you began. âI think Iâd enjoy an active date â maybe like a trip to Coney Island? You know the one with theââ
âThe cyclone!â Bucky said enthusiastically. âOh man, I havenât been there since me and Stevie were kids.âÂ
âA good friend I take it?â You smiled, secretly enthralled by the way his eyes lit up.Â
âThe best,â he nodded. âSorry, Doll. I got a little carried away there.â Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that was free. âCarry on.âÂ
âDonât worry about it, it was cute.â you assured, before quickly clearing your throat once he started to smirk. âAnyway â after a couple of rides and games where my date wins me a stuffed bear, a romantic little trip on the ferris wheel would be next and he would pay to stop at the top so we can see the whole of Brooklyn.âÂ
You feel Buckyâs stare on you as he said, âAnd then?âÂ
âThen he would walk me home and kiss me goodnight.â You finished quietly.Â
âInteresting,â he mumbled. You didnât miss the tone of his voice, one that made you skeptical of his antics. âSo, kinda like Iâm doing now?âÂ
Smartass, you thought internally.Â
âDonât be getting any ideas, Bucky,â you scolded lightheartedly. âThis isnât a first date, remember? Youâre just walking me home.âÂ
He thinned his lips, trying to contain his smirk. âOf course, of course.â A moment passed in peaceful silence before he muttered, âThereâs still time though, right?âÂ
Bucky ran away and out of your reach before you could land a playful whack to his arm.Â
âCome on, Doll â Iâm a dateless man!â he shouted. âAre you really gonna leave a poor man high and dry?âÂ
You scoffed, unable to contain the growing smile on your lips. âIn your dreams, Bucky!âÂ
In hindsight, you should have known his retort wasnât going to be anything other than cheeky â especially, with his sinful grin that made butterflies flutter in your stomach. âThat you will be, Doll.âÂ
Beams of light from the sun, breaking through the clouds of the cold day, casted down over Bucky, creating the most heavenly glow over his features. Those ocean blue eyes that starstruck you from the very first look shone bright as ever and his piercings and rings that glistened had you entranced, wondering how they would feel against your body.Â
The walk home, while not long, had given you a fair insight to this man you had met not only an hour ago. Bucky was unlike anyone you had met before â sweet but mischievous and the biggest flirt you had ever known.Â
Not that you were complaining.Â
The two of you were shortening the distance to your apartment. Admittedly, you felt a small ache in your chest, disappointed that the walk had to end so soon. However, the steps to your apartment that you reached signified the end of your time with him.Â
Your hands twitched in anticipation. Was it inappropriate to want to see him again? Would you look desperate if you asked for a real date with him? An array of thoughts rushed through your mind until Bucky spoke over the scrambled mess in your head. âOkay. I have a confession to make.âÂ
You looked up, frowning to witness him twirling the rings around his fingers, dare you say looking as nervous as you felt. Â
He had been making you stumble over yourself since your first bump in with his shameless flirtations and smooth moves. But now he was reduced to a man on edge.Â
Intrigued, you wished for him to keep talking, curious to know the cause of his unease. âGo on,â you urged, softly.
Bucky nodded and took a deep breath. âI may have seen you. In that same bookstore. A couple of weeks ago.â He ran a hand through his hair, wincing at his inability to formulate his sentences coherently. âI umâfound it after wandering around one day. I was in the far corner when I saw you walk in for the first time.âÂ
Your mouth fell agape, and your eyes widened while you listened intently. Though the shock of his confession rendered you speechless, you were rooted to the spot, hanging onto every word he said.Â
Then, he gazed straight into your eyes, stepping closer and you gulped. âI swear I had never seen someone so beautiful in my life. I couldnât take my eyes off you, Doll.â He shook his head and laughed earnestly. âYouâve had me in a chokehold for the longest time.âÂ
âButâ But earlier?â You tried to get the words out to explain your confusion regarding the way he acted as though you met for the first time.Â
Bucky closed the distance between you, tentatively closing his hands over yours. âIâve seen you every week, walking into that store with your bright eyes, taking in everything like itâs the first time all over again. And every week I found myself in that far corner, obsessing over you and falling for you a little more each time.â He sighed before finishing, âIâd been building up the courage to come up to you until I finally did â Today.â
You could only imagine how you must have looked â a deer in headlights most likely, about to run away. Honestly, you were floored and you werenât quite sure your mind had caught up yet.Â
Attempting to settle your nerves, you cleared your throat. âYouâre telling me,â you paused. âYouâre telling me you planned on reaching for the same book as me? How did you even know which one I was going for?â
Bucky looked ultimately relieved that you hadnât slapped him across the face just yet. His fingers twitched against yours while he laughed apprehensively. âActually, I may have had a tiny bit of help with that one.âÂ
The cogs turned in your head and after a while the realisation struck you from his suspicious antics this morning. âTeddy!â you gasped.Â
âGuilty as charged.â Bucky sheepishly smiled. âI asked him if he thought I had a chance with you the first time I saw you and he gave me some pointers.âÂ
You couldnât help the huff of laughter that spilled from your lips. The whole situation was incredulous, something that would never happen to you.Â
The tension slipped from Buckyâs shoulders, but his eyes still held on to some hope. Easing his worries, you grinned. âThat was brave of you.â
Confidence visibly returned to him as he cockily shrugged, lips curving into his familiar smirk. âIt was a risky move to take.â
Placing your hands on his chest, over his black leather jacket, you gave Bucky a run for his money as you caught his shudder with your eagle eye and decided to play him at his own game. âSome might even say creepy.â
âOh yeah?â Bucky licked his lips and smoothed his hands over your hips. âIs that why youâre grinning like youâve just found your future husband, Doll?â
This man, you thought to yourself. âYouâre cheeky,â you replied aloud while you gripped his jacket.Â
âAnd you like it.â He squeezed your hips.
There was hardly any distance between you; eyes glued to the others like neither of you could bear to look away.Â
His eyes hooded as he joked playfully, âYou gonna invite me up?âÂ
You smacked his chest, watching the crows feet by his eyes crinkle with amusement in the sweetest way. âI donât put out on the first date,â you batted back.Â
You werenât prepared for the sudden shiver that rippled down your spine as he whispered, âClever girl.âÂ
The charged air heightened your senses, you could feel every minute movement his fingers made, the way his thumb rubbed back and forth over your waist.Â
âCan I have your name now?â Bucky disrupted the silence between you as his gaze flicked between your eyes.Â
The rebellious nature from earlier had only come back tenfold. Coming within a hair's breadth away from his lips, you daringly muttered, âIâll give it to you on our next date.â
His eyes lit up, like a kid on Christmas. âNext date?â
Pushing him away with a smirk, you held your hand out while he dazed at you longingly. âPhone,â you said confidently.Â
You held in your laughter as Bucky quickly fumbled over himself, patting each of his pockets to find his mobile. Once located, he quickly slid it out of his leather jacket and into the palm of your hand.Â
The glow of his screen lit up your face while Bucky tried sneaking a peek. But you shooâd him away and carried on typing into his phone.Â
Finally, you were finished and handed the phone back to him. With eagerness he grabbed it and instantly smiled with joy once he saw the screen. âYour number?âÂ
âUse it wisely, handsome,â you purred. Leaving him staring at you in his own haze, you walked up the steps to your apartment, a sway to your hips. You couldnât be completely sure whether you heard Bucky stifle a choke from behind you, but you ignored it for the sake of his ego.Â
Reaching the door to the lobby, you spun around on your feet and raised an eyebrow in question. âSee you soon?âÂ
Bucky grinned from ear to ear. âAbsolutely, Doll.âÂ
With that, you waved him goodbye and swung the door open, missing his besotted stare following you until you were out of sight.Â
You raced up the stairs, holding in your excitement while you entered your apartment. As soon as your apartment door was shut behind you, you released the squeal that had been trapped in your throat while you danced on the spot.Â
And at midnight, as you laid in bed thinking about Bucky, your phone chimed and you instantly grabbed with haste. The bright screen stung your eyes but once you saw who had texted you, they shot open â a thrill causing you to bite your lip and squeak.
Unknown Number: I was supposed to be asleep by 12 but youâre still on my mind.Â
A few weeks laterâŠ
Teddy and his husband, George were readying the shop to open again after closing because of maintenance. The early morning was quiet yet peaceful; the only thing to be heard were the birds singing their song as the sun rose and shone into the shop windows.Â
George leaned his elbow on the counter and sighed with nostalgia as he reminisced back to the beginning of their relationship. âDo you remember our first date, honey?â
Teddy spun around from his task of shelving the newly released books and smiled lovingly. âHow could I forget?âÂ
The two gazed over the space between them, lost in their own bubble of harmony when the chime of the bell above the door snapped them out of their reverie. They both knew it was the usual time you would visit the shop, precise to a fault.Â
With bright smiles, the pair looked towards the door, ready to greet you as was routine. But George gasped loudly when they found something a little extra glued to your side. âWell, Iâll be damned.â
Teddy, however, kept quiet â no vocal response to be heard, only the visible large grin on his face once he caught you looking at him with a sheepish smile.Â
âWell, good morninâ, little one,â he said teasingly.
You hid behind the tall frame next to you, embarrassed from being the center of attention. âHi, Teds. Hi George,â your mousy voice spoke up.Â
Easing the attention of you, Teddy glanced to your side and raised his eyebrow with a smirk. âBucky.â
Your new boyfriend smiled and nodded his head in greeting to both men. âGood to see you, fellas.â Gently, Bucky grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he began to lead you away. âCatch up with you shortly.â
Giggles and laughter echoed through the shop as you followed him down the closest aisle of books and away from prying eyes.Â
George rounded the counter and came to his husbandâs side, looking at him with a sneaking suspicion. âYou wouldnât have had anything to do with that would you, honey?â
Teddy thinned his lips, hiding his smile as he glimpsed at the two of you disappearing from his sight before getting back to shelving the books in his hand. He spoke over his shoulder, with all the innocence he could muster. âMe? Not at all, George â Thatâs nothing but a little bit of magic from Cupid.â
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Happy Halloween! It's the last day of October and the last bingo square for the Monsterfucktober Bingo finished - "science gone wrong"!! đ»đ§đ„°
I couldn't help writing a little story for this - find it under the cut!
Thanks to @valiantstarlights for the idea of Hob reacting to Dream's voice!
Morpheus looked at his new creation and frowned at the mismatched skin tones of the shoulder and leg. He had tried to keep most of the manâs body parts but the left knee had been so badly crushed that he had rather used a whole different limb than try and repair or exchange the joint. It would make for much smoother maintenance than having to deal with an inserted knee joint that was much more prone to infection or damage. The upper left arm had also been badly damaged in the accident that led to the manâs death - well, near-death. His brain waves had been declared too shallow to warrant any actual activity. The man had had no family, and no friends had come forward or visited. The man had carried a donor card, though, and so, with no one to protest, he had been quietly shuffled into Morpheusâ lab with little fanfare. Morpheus knew that what his employers did to obtain his materials wasnât strictly legal but he tried not to think too much about it. He was being paid very handsomely to do his research, and not just in theory.
He was very satisfied with this new try. It was only his second finished work, having been commissioned after the Corinthian was a sounding success - well, mostly. He huffed and set about disinfecting the needle he had used to close up the throat of the man. His employers had had only one complaint about the Corinthian-
He talks too much, and he talks back. No need to include capacity for speech in the next one, Doctor.
Morpheus looked at the young manâs handsome face and sighed. âI would have liked to hear your voice. Iâm sorry.â
He turned around and switched on the life support to see if everything ran smoothly. While he cleaned up the lab there was only the quiet whooshing sound of the respirator. He knew it took time for the subject to come back to life. He would probably have to use the defibrillator to really get it going-
A sudden loud beep from the heart monitor made him jump and turn around.
The man was sitting up and staring at him. Heâd removed the respirator mask and slowly pulled off the ECG monitoring electrodes. His eyes were wide and milky, not yet able to see. It was a condition the Corinthian had never recovered from - in the end Morpheus had given him bionic eyes. With this new subject he had hope that the original eyes of the man whose body he had used would recover once a steady circulation had been achieved. (They had been the most gorgeous brown eyes Morpheus had ever seen after Calliope left him and he hadnât been able to switch them for bionic ones straight from the start.)
âThat was fast. Good- Good morning,â he said, stunned at the manâs fast return to waking. Morpheus grabbed his recorder and switched it on. âSubject 002, Working title âHopeâ, Day 62 - subject has awoken after life support was activated. No respirator necessary, it seems. Subject is alert and- hey, hey, what are you doing? Take it easy!â
He dropped the recorder as the man suddenly stood up from the metal table and stepped towards him, only stumbling once on the unfamiliar leg. Before Morpheus could stop him the man had boxed him in against his lab desk. Morpheus felt several papers shuffled and bottles getting pushed over by his elbows as he tried to keep his distance but the man nearly crushed him against the edge of the table. He smiled down at Morpheus, unseeing eyes still focused on him, and hummed. Morpheus gasped, shocked at this unusual display of coordination and force so soon after waking up. He needed to keep up the subjectâs emotional balance, he needed to give positive feedback to not induce a backlash or violent reaction to an unfamiliar situation. The Corinthian had taught him that.
âYouâre, youâre doing really well. This- this is great. Very good,â he praised, heart hammering, trying his best to keep his voice low and soothing.
Subject 002, âHopeâ, grinned happily.
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simp for me (s.c)
seeing 3racha has given me writing inspiration, and i thank them đ i'm super glad i finally got a good idea for changbin! i've been trying to write for him more đ anyway, i hope you all like this!
feedback is greatly appreciated đ„°
~
"What time is your soundcheck in the morning?" You ask Changbin, your boyfriend of three years.
He glances at you through the mirror in the hotel room. "It's at ten," Changbin mentions while turning to face you.
The two of you smile at each other, your heart swelling in your chest. "You're so handsome, Changbinnie," you boast, sitting up from the king-sized bed.
"And you're so pretty, baby," he smiles shyly, walking over to where you're sitting. You spread your legs so he can stand between them.
"Just pretty?" You joke with him, laying your hands against his outer thighs. Changbin rolls his eyes at you beforehand, setting his hands on your cheeks.
"Beyond pretty, baby. Ethereal," he mentions and kisses your lips quickly. Your cheeks flush at his compliment, smiling up at him. "Thank you for coming with me."
"Of course, honey," you giggle, leaning forward to rest your head against his stomach. "I knew you were gonna ask anyway."
Changbin combs his fingers through your hair, a giggle escaping his lips. "Oh, yeah? And, how'd you know?" He asks you, and you shift your head so you can look at him.
"Because you're a simp for me," you giggle, moving your hands to grab a hold of his.
"I hate you so much," he laughs, shaking his head. A sigh leaves his lips shortly after before making eye contact with you again. "But, you're so right."
"I love you too," you laugh as you intertwine your fingers with his.
Changbin squeezes your hand in his, leaning forward to kiss the crown of your head. "Do you wanna go get dinner?" He asks you, glancing towards the clock. "It's almost seven, and neither of us has eaten yet."
"Yeah, I'm down for dinner," you nod your head. Your boyfriend steps away from you, dropping your hands to grab his shoes. "Do you want me to invite Ji and Channie?"
He sits down beside you on the bed before putting his shoes on. "Can it just be us? I'm feeling a little selfish today," Changbin mentions with pink cheeks, his eyes darting between you and his shoes.
Your heart skips a beat in your chest, and you nod without hesitation. "I'm so in love with you, Changbin," you sigh, shaking your head at how cute he is. "Of course, it can just be us. Just a normal couple in a big city."
He smiles at you, taking your hand in his. He brings it to his lips and gently places a few kisses on the back of your hand. "So, that means I can hold your hand?" Changing asks with a large grin, feeling him squeeze your conjoined hands.
"Yes, baby," you giggle, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "But, can I have my hand so I can get my shoes??"
"No," he teases, tugging your hand towards him, bringing you closer to him again.
You let your body collide with his, causing the two of you to fall back on the bed. Giggles escape both of your lips as you place your free hand on his buff chest.
"How are we going to get dinner like this, hm?" You ask him with a smile, drumming your fingertips against his clothed chest.
"Can I have a kiss?" Changbin asks you with a pout.
You scoff in disbelief and lean forward to capture his lips. The kiss doesn't last very long. You pull away before he has the chance to deepen it. A small whine comes from him after you break apart.
"Don't you want to eat, bunny?" The nickname slips from your lips, and Changbin's eyes soften.
"Bunny?" He questions, squeezing your hand.
You avert your gaze, feeling embarrassed a little. "You're just so cute⊠like a bunny," you whisper to him, moving away from his body.
Changbin releases your hand before wrapping an arm around your waist. He keeps you close to him as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. "I like it when you call me bunny," he mumbles against your skin.
"Yeah?"
He hums, planting a couple of kisses on your neck. You comb your fingers through his hair, feeling yourself getting warmer. "I like how flustered it makes you too," he giggles, pulling his head back.
You playfully roll your eyes, grinning. "Of course you do," you giggle, cupping his cheek.
"Go get your shoes. I'm gonna treat you tonight," Changbin mentions while patting your hip.
"Such a romantic," you beam and move your hand to cup his chin, pressing a quick kiss on his lips before getting off of the bed.
~
tagging: @thewxntersoldier @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky
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