#good lord this is long ASHahghg my tea got cold thank you again for the ask

[magnolia-sunrise]

if you don't mind elaborating, i'm super curious as to what bastien and matteo's relationship is/was like. what went wrong and how did they come to not fit together (anymore?)? does wolfgang know about that all pre-relationship and how does that affect the two of them once they are together? i hope that makes sense i'm fascinated by how old relationships (platonic/romantic/etc) come to leave marks on and affect characters in the present

OHHH this is wonderful thank you for asking mintt!! i am very quietly really obsessed with their dysfunction but its a difficult thing to draw so i don't get to talk about it often :O

when they first met Bastien was genuinely dazzled with attention and care that Matteo gave him, and how much he provided and cared for him during one of the worst periods of his life when he dropped out of med school etc. they started living together very quickly, and in many ways it was both a lifeline and just genuinely affirming for Bastien who was very early in his transition back then. its the sort of thing that's hard to portray given where their relationship is now, but they did love each other and since then Bastien has always felt like he owes Matteo his life

what changed over the years is, well in most plain terms Bastien changed and Matteo didn't. what felt like comfort before, started to feel more like a cage, because Matteo is a very confident, decisive and controlling person. which was extremely attractive and helpful for Bastien in the absolute mess he was in when they started dating, but as he grew more into his own person he would chafe more and more against the limits of what Matteo found acceptable or attractive. they would live their life how Matteo preferred it, because it has always been that way! and to his fault, Bastien never tried to speak up about it or change anything. he just quietly resigned himself to it, repressing his own wants, and they both let the relationship grow stagnant over years. on top of that was always the feeling of this enormous debt, figuratively and financially, that he owes him. Matteo's money after all helps to finance the clinic where Bastien spends most of his free time getting into a situationship with his android patient

so over time as they get to know each other with Wolf, i think Bastien mentions his relationship less and less and spends more time away from home. so Wolfgang doesn't know the details, but they can tell he's unhappy and they know he will never let himself love anyone else. doesn't stop them from flirting with him, but meeting Matteo or seeing the two of them is a very special kind of pain.

and when Wolfgang and Bastien get together, given the traumatic circumstances, Bastien hasn't even broken up with Matteo yet, since they just had to drop everything and go. i think he carries a lot, a LOT of guilt and self hatred over his indecisiveness and how long it took him to break out from the relationship and let himself be happy - it cost him everything. the way he let himself be in that relationship turned him into a very walled off person, though luckily Wolfgang is a very persistent wrecking ball.

because of all this and how things go down (finding Wolfgang dead. his clinic in flames. etc), he forces himself to be more open and to say yes and to voice his desires and slowly Bastien accepts he could actually be happy, though he will probably never forgive himself. when things are a bit calmer and they have some time to each other, i think some of this history comes out in more detail, exchanging stories about past lovers and love's scars.

with their relationship with Matteo the most interesting part for me is the dynamic of like... even if someone saved your life at one point, it doesn't mean you owe them the rest of it. and it takes Bastien a very long time to accept that