#good god amemait y

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

HAPPY FUCK OR DIE FRIDAY BABIES

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

I like Karkat a normal amount I think

Just in case twitter implodes I need to document one of my favorite tweets

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

Hey! I saw your comment on the star trek gay porn parody poll. I would like you to look up what the ship looks like, the franchise is called Traumschiff Surprise (and so is the ship)

I have never sighed this wearily before in my life. How is this not from the porn parody?

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

@amemait told me to post this here, so I made it comic sans in honor of the old ways

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

HELLO TREKKIES I AM HERE.

Some local governments actually keep a contract botanist on the payroll whose job it is to safely relocate the endangered plants they believe might be covering up a crime scene or dump site (occasionally these botanists will also be called for non-endangered plant incidents, such as the hey we think this man murdered his father and dumped him in the kudzu-infested backwoods how do we clear the kudzu incident) ((the answer was rent a herd of goats and hope they don't try to eat the body before you see it btw)). If they find anything to confirm their suspicions they'll try to make you pay the consult fees of that botanist (and the goats).

All that being said, new theory that Garak's official job at the Embassy was actually 'gardener who takes care of pesky endangered plants for the Cardassian government' and he also moonlighted as 'guy who uses endangered plants to frame pesky Romulans'

edosian orchids…

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

Look, the internet's a big place, no one's going to agree with you 100% of the time, but we all know that Jar-Jar Binks is infinitely more fuckable than Howard the Duck.

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

Please enjoy a collection of memes that will mean nothing to you unless you're me, Ame, or Minty:

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

As far as my knowledge goes, Godzilla has never been portrayed as a lightweight.

He has, however, been sperm.

@admiral-craymen replied to your post “What would happen if Godzilla got drunk?”

What kind of Tumblr drama about Godzilla being drunk? Can you show me some examples?

The Tumblr drama would be if Godzilla did not drink enough for his species’s alcohol tolerance level. This is an actual thing that has happened in the Godzilla franchise and a significant part of it is “Dr. Serizawa can’t make eye contact any longer with you because Godzilla’s never been able to keep alcohol down.” It’s not a subtle joke or something.

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

Ame and I are an interesting dyad of Chaos and Absurdity. One of us once took seven years to realize that they had feelings for a cute girl, and the other is descended from Geoffrey Chaucer and has diplomatic immunity in most countries. You should fear us.

Good luck, Egg.

@amemait told me to post this here, so I made it comic sans in honor of the old ways

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

You forgot about the inherent eroticism of a garish suit.

@amemait told me to post this here, so I made it comic sans in honor of the old ways

[chicagoeggwhisperer]

Be glad I made it and not Ame, she thinks I should be more willing to fuck the cat in the hat

@amemait told me to post this here, so I made it comic sans in honor of the old ways