#good fucking god he was your blorbo for the past year

[gazebosarebologna]

I knew twitter was a cesspool, but my god. I thought at least tumblr had the reading comprehension from all the fanfic.

Like stop acting as if four months ago y’all weren’t up Noah’s ass and fawning all over him. Now he said something you don’t like, and are participating in the mass psychosis against Jews and Israel and despise him. It’s pathetic. If the last month has taught us anything, it’s that we know who would’ve sided with the Nazis.

[kings-highway]

Fanfic Writer Review

Thanks you the wonderful @mania-sama for tagging me for this and letting me inflict my thoughts upon all of you <3 love you asshole :)

Many, many words below the cut!

“How many works do you have on Ao3?”

Sitting pretty at 47! I have deleted a few fics in the past but I have never orphaned any or posted anonymously, so the count is accurate.

“Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?”

In the Woods of Japan - 1,969 kudos

Should surprise nobody to find this one is my most beloved! Ironically this is also the second story I ever posted to Ao3 - writing it was like a fever dream, posting a chapter almost every day or every second day for a bit. I truly, truly think that writing this fic was one of the best decisions I ever made, if you all and the haikyuu community hadn’t shown me so much support, I have no idea what I’d be doing now - it broke me out of a 3-4 year dry spell where I hadn’t written anything at all, and has directly led to me not only writing regularly now but finishing original stories as well and truly even if it’s not my favourite piece in my library, I will never regret deciding to attack Daichi with a bear. Also shoutout to the only story I ever let Daichi be bisexual in. Finished writing this story and then stole his labels forever. Bitch never figured out his identity again.

All for the Love of an Energetic Redhead - 1,185 kudos

The success of this story is so funny to me. Sometimes I have an idea on whether or not a story will be well received, and other times the story is Energetic Redhead and you post it and are immediately flabbergasted by how many other people wanted Kags and Ushi to get blackout drunk and fly around the world. Ironically, the only reason this got written is because I don’t have the art skills/patience needed to make a comic I wanted to, based on the only two red-haired characters, but wanted to push my “two autistics vs. two energetic but VERY different redheads” agenda. It would have gone something like “several panels of Ushijima and Hinata standing side by side, Ushijima is distracted by something while Hinata motor-talks about all things volleyball. Ushijima suddenly interrupts him, realizing who he is and saying: You are not my usual redhead-” and the panel is interrupted, cutting to Kageyama trapped in a dark room with Tendou.”

Competitive Fake Dating - 1,061 kudos

Sometimes as a fanfiction writer, you have to remind yourself that you are a fanfiction writer. It’s all fun and games writing massive, sprawling stories with deep themes and complex character relations. But this is fanfiction, bitch, sometimes you have to make your blorbos kiss for points.

Imperfect Facial Symmetry - 916 kudos

Oh, what can I say. This one truly is special to me. 100% one of my favourite fics of all time, there are only very few things I would change about it, but most of those being wishing I could go back and add more, drag it out. I don’t like stories or headcanons that make Tendou out to be attractive or even “attractive in a weird way” I think his character is far more interesting if you allow him to be conventionally unattractive, and I think pairing it with a version of Ushijima obsessed with the limitations of his own self expression, to rewire the definition of “attractive” into “lively” and “expressive” is such a good representation of why I love this ship specifically. There are a lot of headcanons present in this story that I since used in pretty much every other. God I could talk about it / them / this story for fucking ever.

American Summer - 882 kudos

Sequel to #1, In the Woods. What can I say, you go for a bear, you escalate to an American named Adam. I did NOT want this story to be the way this story ended up. Earlier drafts of the story included stargazing on the top of a rented motorhome, losing your virginity in the back of a car, getting into a fight with a couple of 22 year olds outside of a bar, visiting national parks, overcoming jealousy for your boyfriends’ trauma-bonded found family, and slowly beginning to let go of that trauma. INSTEAD after writing a couple chapters I remembered you can’t legally rent a car at 18/19 in California and I had to rapidly adjust, and apparently instead of a coming-of-age vacation my only other idea was serial killer so. Uh.

“Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?”

So-so. I WANT to reply to every comment, but I have a really severe kind of social anxiety, so I don’t reply most of the time. I’m too afraid of looking really conceited and egotistical, if I reply to a comment about the things they like about the fic with the things I liked about the fic or just agreeing with them, I’m just hyping myself up as if I wasn’t the author and keeping all the attention on me, if I just thank them and nothing else, I feel like I’m not appreciating it enough and they’ll be offended by my shorter response, if I make a joke or be funny, 90% of the time I don’t get a reply back, and then I sit there with a stomach ache of anxiety wondering if they were annoyed by me trying to be silly. So. I really, really, try my best to reply to comments, especially at the last chapter of a longer fic, or if there’s a direct question I’ll always answer those, but otherwise I get nervous and can’t bring myself to hit enter on the responses. But I love all the comments I receive so much and I really am trying to get better at engaging with people.

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?”

Has to be Astrophilia. I don’t enjoy angsty endings most of the time, I don’t think the world needs more stories about people failing to be happy, or suffering needlessly with no reprise. Astrophilia was originally going to be a hardcore angst ending with them definitively dying in space/losing the ability to communicate with Earth, but as per the previous reason given, I just didn’t see any value in that story, and wanted to give it more of my usual spin. (No hate to people who do like angst, I just don’t.) Most of my angst is found in the middle of my fics, where it belongs :P (the catharsis of recovery is important to me!)

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?”

All of them? I think ignoring the one-shots that exist only to be fluffy, and thinking about what really qualifies a happy ending, I would have to go with Soulmake Adventures. Sure, there’s no fairytale happy ending to it (which is the point of that story) but in that I think that’s the happiest ending. Each character is explicitly given long, healthy lives filled with new experiences and growth and change, and are not bound to static one-note love stories. Their happy endings are not defined by the satisfaction of the romance story that was contained in Soulmake Adventures, but each of them achieving a level of self-actualization that allows them to take control of the choices they make and live for themselves first.

“Do you write crossovers?”

In theory? Yes. I just don’t have a reason to :)

I would LOVE to do a SK8 + Haikyuu crossover though. I think Langa and Kageyama need to be locked in a room together.

“Have you ever received hate on a fic?”

Not really. One comment comes to mind but I also don’t feel like giving enough description that would allow someone to track it down, feels mean to put a spotlight on someone, especially because I've never received hate, with such a strong word. Just… disappointment or confusion.

Oh, except for this one time this crazy person told me I’d stolen the plot of Sharkboy and Lavagirl. smh.

“Do you write smut? If so, what kind?”

Yes? No? I think sex and physical intimacy is one of the most interesting ways to explore relationship dynamics and emotions, so I tend to use sex a lot in my stories, but as most would know I rarely, rarely write graphic sex. “Smut” I think has the connotation of sex that’s meant to be hot, which I’ve never done. If you see characters fucking in my stories, there’s a purpose to it. BUT that being said never say never. Sex is just sex, if I think of a good story idea that uses it, then it will be.

“Have you ever had a fic stolen?”

I think? I had a ton of my stories being hosted on one of those data scam sites or whatever. I truly just. Whatever.

“Have you ever had a fic translated?”

I think so! I’ve had many people approach and ask me permission to, but I can’t say for certain if they ever got completed. I think so.

“Have you ever co-written a fic before?”

No! I do love the idea of collaborating on a fic, but I hate the idea of co-writing. There would have to be a premise that lets us write our own halves (dual perspective, maybe?) that’s relatively separate. Otherwise, the actual process of two “writers” on a fic sounds absolutely terrible. What, gonna share a google doc and take turns writing lines? I would go crazy with control-freak energy. BUT the idea of collaborating on a story in other ways and sharing credit for ideas and working together to make it good would be awesome.

“What’s your all-time favourite ship?”

*glances at my Haikyuu themed fanfiction blog and Ao3 account*

S… Sculder… (Mulder/Scully - X-Files)

It’s really really hard to decide, “all-time favourite” comes with a huge weight to it. Amy/Rory from Doctor Who is also really fucking high on that list, as is Ten/Rose to be fair. But then I think about where I am currently, and in terms of energy/thought put into a ship, that shit has to be DaiSuga, right? In terms of favourite, clearly… but… if we’re going with Haikyuu, a relatively recent love of mine, I think UshiTen is more compelling…

BUT if we’re talking about ships that take up my brainpower, ships that live rent-free forever in my head, it’s going to be my original characters, always. I have a handful of personal characters from original stories that never leave my thoughts. The real answer would probably be two of my OCs. If you know you know.

But that’s a stupid answer so I’m gonna go with Sculder because they are perfect.

“What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?”

There are SO many WIPS that’ll never get finished, but I think the answer that serves this question the best is a WIP in my scrap folder called “The London Reconnection,” which follows Suga about 5 years post leaving Japan to study English Lit in London, and is working towards his masters. He had effectively lost a lot of his cultural roots and really enjoys the lifestyle of London, especially the teas, and although he had always planned on eventually going back to Japan after getting his masters, as he gets closer to that, he’s started considering staying in London and staying forever. Which, at the time, doesn’t hurt so bad - he hasn’t spoken to anyone back home in three years, and the last time he went for Christmas, he didn’t even bother checking in with his friends… though a wrench gets thrown into his confidence for what he wants and his plans for the future when, literally out of nowhere, Daichi shows up in the library he works at with his little sister, having come to support her while she receives an experimental treatment for a rare disorder, and they’re expecting to stay, possibly indefinitely. Suga hadn’t spoken to Daichi in quite a few years, but had always considered him “the one that got away” (though they had never officially dated.) So suddenly, his perfectly curated London lifestyle is tipped on its side due to the dropped-in presence of an old, familiar face and one that can barely speak a lick of English, let alone blend into the London culture. Cue English lessons, lots of metaphors about teas, identity, and falling in love with someone you used to know intimately, but don’t really know at all anymore. I think about it like 3 times a week but more than likely will never write more than the 4k or so I put down for the first chapter…

“What are your writing strengths?”

Fuck if I know, my man. I think dialogue? I get a lot of compliments regarding how natural my characters feel, how much they seem like real people, so I think that has to be one of the strongest points of my writing. I also think I’m very funny. Humour is 100% subjective so this doesn’t really count, but I love some of my own jokes in my writing. Write to make yourself laugh, friends, that’s the key.

“What are your writing weaknesses?”

The fact that if a scene bores me I’ll just straight skip it. I tend to rush scenes that would be realistic simply because I don’t care about them, certain characters or plot lines getting abandoned because writing the necessary scenes for them to really work just sounds boring. Even if I think the scenes or characters are good and important and very interesting, if it bores me I just… can’t force myself to do it. I also really struggle with combat and action sequences, anything that requires “choreography” of any kind, I think I tend to under-explain each scene in an effort to avoid over-explaining an action sequence, which results in muddied and confusing character motions with little context.

“What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?”

I don’t think I have any thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m sure this is related to some kind of fan-debate about this, but… I’m not sure what the camps are. If I write Dialogue in another language in a fic, and the perspective character doesn’t speak that language, I italicize it but otherwise write it like normal dialogue. If the character does speak that language, I italicize it but write it in English and make a note in the dialogue tag that it was in whichever language. I think, though don’t hold me to this, spoken dialogue should always be written in a way that the reader can “hear” which would unfortunately have to include the phonetic anglicization of languages that don’t use the latin alphabet IF you’re writing in English (or converting it to whatever language you’re writing in.) This is due to the enjoyment of the reader being able to “hear” the story or keep the immersion. If I’m reading a story, and it presents to me, in dialogue, a string of sanskrit, just skipping over that without hesitation. No idea. Character may as well not have spoken, can’t hear it. BUT if it’s in the text of the book, describing the writing they’re reading, signage, or anything else, then it should stay in its original written form, perhaps translated elsewhere in the story if needed. I don’t think authors are required to translate spoken dialogue if the perspective character can’t understand it. HOWEVER that is also my opinion for, like, original fiction stories. Because fanfiction is supposed to be for sharing, I can understand wanting/expecting a translation of whatever cute or funny quip the characters are making in the language. I, personally, have never provided translations for any of the languages I use in my fics. Sorry.

“What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?”

I have no interest in writing fanfiction for other fandoms. As mentioned above, if I had to pick one I might go with SK8, but I’m not really a “fanfiction writer” in the sense that when I read/watch media I get overwhelmed with the urge to write stories for them. I don’t even really read fanfiction. Haikyuu is special in that, these little fucks satisfy my creative urges and that’s all they have to do, it’s not really about any hyperfixation on the media or interest in writing fanfiction as a whole, y’know. Besides, if I started writing for other fandoms, that would give Daichi a break from me and I can’t allow that.

That being said, ships I haven’t ever written for… I have a SemiShira WIP in progress that hopefully will be finished Kogagoshi as well I’m a fan of, if you can believe that. FukaTora, too. Honestly I have a dozen AsaNoya WIPS, and considering they’re one of my favourites the fact that they’ve never been more than a background ship/side pairing is a SHAME. Same with AranKita.

“What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?”

Time Enough to Risk it All has to be my favourite, just because it’s, well… it’s what it is. I think it’s tight and well contained, it doesn’t suffer from my usual rambling, missed plotlines or dropped ideas that I scrapped after I started posting. It feels cohesive and tightly knit and it ends the same way. Not too many things going on. However, I will say, Imperfect Facial Symmetry is really high up there as well, as is The Stoplight Demon even though it was not everyone else’s favourite. I do think if I can finish “This is Not the End” the way I want to, and have it be what I hope it’ll be, it will become my favourite. But I still have time to ruin it, so we’ll see if Time Enough keeps its title :)

Tagging: victims!

@harumin24 @vvalllerie @reviiely

[forestmossling]

@mia6363 said to come yell at them on tumblr if one so desired and i’m planning to take full advantage of that invitation.

and i guess usually i would yell, i do have a surprising affinity for incoherent all-caps key smashes, but it feels wrong to do that with this fic. i just lived seven years in a glass cell in a basement in one night, i don’t feel like being loud or wasting my breath.

this is genuinely one of the best fics i have read in my entire life. i even hesitate a little to call it a ‘fic’, because this doesn’t even feel like a byproduct of teen wolf, aside from the fact that all art in a way is a byproduct of something. for me, this is so much more than just twirling your blorbos and making them fall in love with each other again and again in a multitude of different ways (i respect that too, btw, i am a huge fan of blorbo twirling). this was a full, independent story that spanned so much wider and greater than what it came from.

i am absolutely obsessed with everything about the storytelling here. the way different parts of stiles’ life before captivity come together to shape his reality and actions during the captivity, and how they crashed and burned when stiles broke free and got to experience them again. how every step stiles takes, every decision he makes, is overshadowed with voices from his past, the way nothing he does comes from nowhere even if some of it took root before he could even consciously acknowledge the impact it had on him. and the way i, as reader, was immersed in this process, good fucking god. i almost took screenshots at some especially gut-wrenching moments, but i always ended up stopping myself from doing that, because even imagining somebody perceiving a part of this work out of context felt incredibly wrong for some reason. i’m probably being too reverent and over the top about this, but i also don’t fucking care, this is my sacred text.

and all the characters, just… yeah. i’m dead. satomi ito, they could never make me hate you or your beautiful husband. every story, every character’s motivation and psychological path throughout the story just made so much sense. i could see all of them so clearly and obviously, by themselves and especially when they came together. did i already say i’m obsessed?? because, as i write this, i just realize how much i’m fumbling my words because i simply have no fucking idea how to express the way the complexity, coherence and ingenuity of this work makes me feel.

and when i try to wrap my head around the fact that there’s an actual human being behind this story, my fucking brain explodes. HOW????? how is this man made??? how was this not woven together by the galactic matter since the inception of the world as we know it????? don’t even look at me, my brain is literally leaking out of my ears at this point, i’m so overwhelmed. in short, i feel about the author of this fic pretty much the same way any sane person in the fic feels about stiles. this is some true alpha shit right there.

i feel like there’s so much more i want to say but also nothing i could actually manage to put into words, so yeah. just. this is incredibly great and very cool👍 go read this immediately if you haven’t already OR ELSE. ♾️/10, there’s no other way around it. absolutely AM recommending.

[jediofbooksandsnacks]

This is from something saved in my drafts under the title Only An Afternoon. It is, generally speaking, a hot fictional mess but! I decided to post a snippet to celebrate Kogami's birthday. It happens during when he goes to pick up Akane from the detention center and deliver her to the CID. I mean, what must have been going through his head? Delivering her to the place he had escaped from? Just: *chef's kiss*

Enjoy your fictional cake my fictional blorbo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 7 minutes to 11 am when Kogami arrived at the detention center.

The SUV was a loaner from SAD, a car that boasted all of the tech from a few years ago. The self-driving setting often didn’t work. The AC was perpetually on the fritz. Plus, the radio was stuck on one Sibyl-approved station that played the greatest hits of the past three decades, all padded by fill chatter from the DJ. At least the radio had distracted him as he drove over. When he parked, he clicked it off before he shut down the car. Silence surrounded him, both a blessing and a curse.

It was probably a curse. Consider this: a former Inspector turned Enforcer turned renegade turned SAD agent picking up his own former Inspector turned psycho-prisoner turned statutory Enforcer for delivery to the CID. Irony lived in there, somewhere.

A tug on the handle popped the car door open. Sunlight bathed him in midday gold as he got out, the discord both startling and astute. A breeze tugged at his hair, the same breeze carrying the falling flowers from the sakura trees down to their doom. Nature mocking her with its own beauty as the MWPSB doors inevitably swung shut behind her. Another irony. Soon he could start a collection.

The door closed with a thunk. The fingers of his right hand twitched for a cigarette.

Maybe just one. Hell, he’d smoked in the office, in his MWPSB room, even in her own car. Maybe it would calm the unsettled feeling in his stomach. No sense delaying it till later.

The one thing that held him off lighting up and sucking it down with determined gusto was this: Akane would know. It was dumb, but there it was. Gods, he was just like a kid back in school, not wanting to do anything to make his favorite teacher mad. Which said some fucked up stuff about how he thought of this relationship.

That door didn’t open until it was 11:06, and when it did—

Professionalism in an emergency was the whole point of his job. He’d helped crying children escape from a burning bus, taken action to aid troops advancing within a killing zone, hell, he’d even escaped his own CID captors in SEAUn. Yet, nothing had prepared him for seeing Akane come out of that hellhole and emerge into the shade of the detention center monolith.

He stood. His heart pounded in his chest. Goddammit it all to hell. He really would need a cigarette when this was done.

Brown eyes went wide when they saw him as surprise took over. There were no words he could think of at that moment. In fact, everything he wanted to say existed in the curve of the shadow on her face and was contained in her eyes. Finally, he said, “I’m here to get you.”

It was not the most gallant thing he could think to say, but this was not exactly the most gallant of situations.

Akane’s face relaxed into a smile, a smile thankfully not separated from him by a pane of bulletproof glass and under the dim lighting from the cells’ interior. Aware that he, too, was absorbing absolutely everything about her, he broke his eyes away. The pavement looked cracked beneath his shoes. “Sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” A broad smile beamed across her face as she took the steps downwards, her hair blowing in the mild breeze. “I’m kind of hungry.”

“Is food all that’s on your mind right now?” The double entendre took a second to catch up, good god dammit. But it was a reasonable question, after all: the deal that had been struck, the machinations behind this, everything was so far unclear to him. Honestly, he’d give anything for a line into what was going on at the CID and save the sexual harassment call from HR for later.

Sunlight traced the lines of her face and was dimmed by her grin. Maybe it was jealous that he was there to pick up a more powerful force of nature. “Treat me to something.”

He had to stop himself from letting his mind wander into the gutter. As he cleared his throat, he reached for her duffel. “Yes, ma’am.”

[katyspersonal]

Lore Council on a chill day be like:

literally no one:

me: What do you M E A N many people were struggling with Bayle?! He took me like, 4 attempts!!!

@val-of-the-north: Kat back then and not very long time ago you basically cried at how hard the dragons in the BASE game were for you, you absolutely could not deal with them and was running away like a chicken even from non-boss respawning enemies!

me: Haha, GREEEEAT, just AWESOME. Now you are going to bother me about something that only was true years ago :/ Damn, with this attitude you should write aWaReNeSs uwu posts on Tumblr 🤦‍♂️ God forbid weirdos like you internalise that humans are not fixed!

Val: ??? KAT I AM TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOU FOR HOW FAR YOU'VE CAME AND HOW YOU BECAME A GREAT DRAGON SLAYER THESE DAYS!

me: I DON'T NEED YOUR EXCUSES YOU CRINGEFAIL LOOSER WITH SKILL ISSUE GO SIMP FOR PATCHES OR DO EQUALLY USELESS ACTIVITIES!!!

Val: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

@fantomette22: Wait I didn't get it how simping for Patches is useless... I mean it is useful for him 😅 It's okay Val you can love his bald head we support you 💀

me: Hey whose side are you on?!

Val: Finally someone gets me lol

@heraldofcrow: Finally not I am the one getting harassed by Katy! Mwahaha! *posts a gif of Morticia elegantly sipping wine or some shit like this idk*

me: DON'T COUNT ON IT, THE DAYS FOR YOU AND YOUR GENERIC WHITE-HAIRED ANIME BLORBOS ARE NUMBERED, CHICKEN!!!

Crow: Chicken? According to Val, the real chicken here is you when you see a dragon... *a gif with a guy shrugging*

me: IT WAS IN THE PAST AN NOT TRUE, CAN ANY OF YOU PRICKS COMPREHEND THE CONCEPT OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!

Val: I LITERALLY TRIED TO DO JUST THAT AND YOU DIDN'T LET ME!!!

me: AN ACTUAL DRAGON IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP MAKING ME LOOK BAD!!!!!!!!!

Fantomette: Hmmm well I mean yeah good job on learning to beat the dragons Katy 👍 They are not that hard though

me: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR WHAT A PERSON WHO FIRST-TRIED ELDEN BEAST HAS TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantomette: Okay 💀 I just wanted to give you tips...

Crow: LMAO I LOVE THIS, Fantomette is great at adapting to the bosses when Katy comes up with super unlikely strategies and somehow makes them work! I can't play right now but @ val what is your playstyle then?

me: He doesn't have one, he is too busy polishing his bf's head and remembering MORE of my past to lord all over me :facepalm:

Val:

[isa-ghost]

Isa my darling! Happy Birthday, albeit a couple of days early.

Seeing you screech in Philza's streams because Apollo hit you with that dodgeball yet again makes me giggle a lot.

How about since headcanon's for qPhilza's past/pre island relationship with qFit. How they got to know each other, and how quickly they became friends?

Idr if I said this on Tumblr yet but deadass I asked Apollo on my pendulum if qPhil is his blorbo and he said yes. He's been as invested in shit as me and it's been hilarious. I literally have crows yelling at me irl to keep writing rn but I'm answering headcanons first.

The entire time I've been distracted between writing these, crows have been yelling at me about it. Which. Is how Apollo communicates with me when I'm not actively talking to him through readings LMFAO.

Also thank you for the birthday wish :D [desperately hoping nothing else horrible happens this weekend please god]

Anyway qPhil headcanons masterlist let's go

Disclaimer that I didn't know of Fit before QSMP (I've only been in mcyt for 4 years monkaS) so these are gonna be largely pulled out of my ass and a lil repetitive.

These two both have experiences in anarchy and war, they've definitely brushed shoulders a couple times bc of it

They admired each other's work ofc. Phil is a macro scale kinda guy, total annihilation and victory that makes a statement. Fit's more of a micro scale kinda guy, zeroing in on one person or group individually and making their lives hell until the end in the name of surviving a little longer

On that note, I think we all sleep a little bit on the fact that Fit is Also a survivalist like Phil, just in a very different set of high stakes conditions. These two are equally skilled in it and equally sharp strategists

On that note, anyone who knew them from the past would fear the idea of them coming together to create a plan of any kind, especially of the anarchist-fueled variety. If the Federation has done their research right, they should know full well how terrifying this duo could be in an effort to dismantle their authority

Btw by brushing shoulders I don't just mean brief passings by, I mean they've like. Camped out for a night together, temporarily truced for the sake of safety in numbers, etc. More than a few conversations have been had even if the time they've spent together totals to less than a week.

However, even when they weren't actively paired together, they'd still occasionally trade or gift each other surplus resources. It was a genuine kind act, even if it simultaneously served as a reason for each of them to not come after the other. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Like why do you think Fit was one of the first threats on Phil's mind in Purgatory. He Knew(tm). And he knew Fit has an affinity for picking off the weak first, like a lion after a herd of antelope. To him, Purgatory was the awakening of a monster who'd been dormant for a long time.

See, present day they're QPR as fuck, they'd never do this now without 10x the pressure Purgatory put on them, but back in the day they took close notes on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Just In Case, yknow? They could very much kill each other. Back in the day they would've if it came to it, no matter how good an ally they were.

Something about how these two used to be so cold and hard to the world. Be it to self-preserve or some other reason. Something about how now they've both softened and warmed after becoming parents. They never could've imagined the other would "weaken" like this, especially back then.

Phil 🤝🏻 Fit - Phil being a historian of the deities/builds of his Hardcore World, Fit being a historian of 2B2T

A lot of this boils down to mutual respect, common interests, and secret admiration tbh. And what's more homoerotic than that?

They're both crisis preppers. Not doomsday type shit, just. Being ready for shit to hit the fan. They both come from places where life is significantly more dangerous than it is in other realms.

The crazy thing is though? Despite the above, they can't imagine being from each other's realms. Phil would LOATHE 2B2T and Fit would hate the absoluteness of Hardcore. Isolation is absolute, death is absolute. There's no wiggle room or margin for error.

With how adaptive the two of them are due to their origins, they could probably acclimate to any conditions. They'd complain about having to, especially if it was inconvenient, but they could. They used to swap tips & tricks with each other on how to improve their adaptability too.

Fit would've 100% been down to join Phil on Doomsday in DSMP. He was thoroughly impressed when Phil told him the story.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

dude but the whole face family is a mess of mental disorders and shit. At least if you want to nitpick. Australia and Murica are both ADHD, Canada a depressive lil shit, England is autistic and france bipolar as fuck. I'm still figuring out new Zealand so I can make bingo!

What happened to hi hello how are you 🥲

Im fucking kidding lets go

I have many thoughts on this topic. I just wanna say first that i dont really want to talk about specifically what mental disorder or whatnot each of these characters have. I have my personal hc that i keep private just cus ive strayed so far from canon or even the classic hetalia 2014 country stereotyping. They are my blorbos in the purset sense of the word. So, i feel like if i told you “yeahh murica is adhd on legs” i think it would come across as insensitive.

But on the other hand, in the past 2 years that ive been in group therapy on and off, i have come to be comfortable with talking about mental disorders and dont find it as triggering or offensive as i know some people do. Which is also very valid. People deal with things the best they can and when youre in the trenches of ocd, having a weirdo (me ✊😎) say a fictional character is going through it, it might not sit right. So i wanna keep this as non triggering as possible.

As almost everything i hc, this is something I’ve looked over. And i do agree to a point. Alfred is definitely someone who exhibits traits like excessive talking, impulsiveness, interrupting conversations, difficulty focusing at something that he finds little interest in etc etc. He is easily distracted and tends to find certain people boring. But he also does not have time management skills and he does not forget tasks and plans. Could this be adhd? Sure. Does it have to be? Of course not. So i tend to leave it up in the air. Some people might find comfort in interpreting it as adhd and some would rather stay clear. Both viewpoints equally valid.

I truly dont know about Jack or Arthur. Eleanor too. Honestly i dont really try to make up disorders for them. One thing i dislike is the labeling. If someone, even a silly character, does show traits of some disorder, id rather not have it outright mentioned. It can be cristal clear that Matt has a full on depressive episode, but let me figure that one out myself, chief. I am all in favour of making these fuckers complex and give them shit to shovel, but the moment we start throwing mental disorder labels around, i think the focus strays. But again, only my preference. To someone else, its a comfort.

However, as he is my knight of the highest order, my highest ranking babygirl, my worst punching bag: Matt is depressed as shit. He functions but, God, at what cost?

Does he have depression? Probably. Will i ever make a serious post about his depression specifically? Probably not.

Francois though. He has no disorders, no hardships or difficulties. Makes it easier for me to actively and effectively hate. We are currently negotiating a stalemate, as ive, just today, heard Sous le ciel de Paris after forgetting that song existed. Good fucking song tho. Willing to negotiate the terms of Francois’ surrender.

[bunnyprismatic]

I'm pretty sure I'm the anon you mentioned. If you still like this guy after he encouraged whirl to self harm, that says a lot about you

I still like Rung, and I will vehemently state he's a terrible psychiatrist, and did fucked up things before and during the Lost Light quest. He's a messed up old man robot, I have never denied that. It's perfectly fine if you don't like Rung, hate him even, that doesn't bother me, Anon. It's absurd to go into a fandom and think everyone is going to like my fave blorbo equally. I hold similar strong dislikes to some fandom faves, a few my close friends adore. Either they're just not compelling to me as characters, or, I find their actions and behaviours in the comics to be too egregious to look past. The way that they act, what they have done, or how they treat others is upsetting to me personally, and I just can't look past it.

However...

I understand the feelings I have about these characters are a me thing. Whether their actions are something too close to abuse from my past, or a personality trait that just rubs me wrong, my dislike is personal. I also know that most people who like problematic characters don't agree with their problematic traits. They know their faults, they know they're not good, but are able to separate fiction from reality. A person who likes a problematic character usually isn't agreeing, condoning, or have committed the same crimes that character has. When a modicum of media literacy is applied to MTMTE then I can understand how people find characters like these appealing. Because the thing is Anon, yes, Rung is a fucked up old robot, but so is everyone else on that ship, and that's what makes MTMTE and LL really good. While I like a well written Good Guys Good and Bad Guys Bad story, sometimes ya crave a little nuance, ya know? A pinch of the grey morality makes for a tasty comic. Not a single robot on that ship is good, and if we were to give human laws and sensibilities to every one of the main cast, well that's going to be a problem, isn't it? Not only for the actions of their past, but also how they behave during the quest. They're all fucking assholes to some degree :"D I would never forgive a real, human, psychiatrist, who has been trusted with someone's vulnerable state if they did the things Rung did. But when it's a several-million years old, amnesiac elder god, giant, transforming robot from the planet Cybertron, well it makes them a little more interesting. All in all anon, if you find morally ambiguous, selfish, mean, spiteful, harmful characters are upsetting to you, then perhaps MTMTE and Lost Light isn't the right fit. That's okay though, as there's plenty of other pieces of TF media more aligned to the Good Guys Good, Bad Guys Bad narrative. You're welcome to hate Rung, and dislike me, you're free to block me, put Rung in the filters (I make sure to tag my reblogs and posts with #Rung for people who don't want to see him), whatever it is you need to do to protect your peace and curate your dash, go for it. And if you think me liking a problematic character, despite me acknowledging he is a terrible, woeful, psychiatrist by human standards, makes me a terrible, evil person who allows or is complicit in vile things like this. Especially without actually knowing me or my story, well that says a lot about you.

[sonjuponju]

now YOU tell me about YOUR ocs...!!! (if you want) is your pfp enix...🧡

IT IS IT IS!!! that drawing turned out so good i just stick it everywhere now 😭

the thing about my ocs is that i hardly get anything done with them if i don't have someone to constantly validate my choices and help me build ideas and stuff so most of my stories are pretty incomplete and all over the place 🥲 but i do have some bits and pieces that i can share!!

ima put everything under a read more cus there's gonna be a LOT of stuff. you really don't have to read all of it if you find it longwinded, i just really love rambling about my dudes (but only if someone asks 😭)

ENIX, he/him - he's actually one of my older ocs, i created him way back in 2017 when i was like 11 😭 fun fact! his original name was vixen but due to the definition of the word bugging me i recently changed his name to enix :3 another fact but kind of an embarrassing one - he used to have DID, and my 11 year old ass played RIGHT into the "evil alter" trope, so yeahhhh... the only good thing to come out of that was that the "evil alter" eventually became a wholly separate blorbo, named feliks! who we will get into now B)

FELIKS, he/him - my fucking sweet baby. my angel. he has gone through so many transformations it's hilarious

here he is in his "evil alter" days. already got the black eye to signify his "evilness". though i don't think it took very long for me to decide that he was actually the host of the body, not enix. in any case his usual day-to-day activities included pissing everyone around him off and trying some evil schemes every now and then

in like 2018 i got REALLY into this visual novel called "the arcana" and feliks was the ex best friend of the MC my friend cooked up for our version of the story. i didn't want him to be a cyclops for this iteration because i thought it didn't fit the theme, so he had to get a human design. he didn't have DID in this version, but he did have an identical twin brother, named vance. in this story feliks killed vance and became the boyfriend of the villain of the story, also becoming one of the villains in the process. his ex best friend ellis ended up defeating him and he got hanged with his boyfriend for their crimes

now here's where the story gets really juicy. feliks reincarnated in the modern world, and i think i ditched him having DID and instead the "alters" turned out to be the fragmented parts of feliks' dead brother's personality. vance had basically come back to haunt him in a form that was kind of comparable to alters, but also not really

the main arcana characters alongside ellis also reincarnated and ended up finding feliks (who was still evil btw). they were kind of like a friend group for a while until shit hit the fan when everyone found out that feliks killed his brother way back in their past life (they had no idea up until now). ellis became incredibly angry with him and him being a magician turned feliks into water and put him in a vase so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again

before this happened though i think ellis and his also magician boyfriend were able to piece vance back together and give him a body, so he was reincarnated too. after receiving a second chance at life, vance got himself a boyfriend, and even got married with him. the happiness didn't last for long though when feliks was able to sneak himself in his water form into vance's husband's water bottle. the husband drunk the water and ended up possessed by feliks 🙃 feliks killed vance AGAIN, was able to return to his own body by also killing vance's husband, annnnddd... then ellis caught up to him and beheaded him with his scythe. (god i still love this story)

after death feliks became a demon in hell, and that's basically where his story ends. idk i must've gotten another interest at this point because i didn't get any further with the story

in 2020 i decided to revamp him AGAIN, this time making my own fantasy universe for him. i got a couple of my friends involved with it too (this was basically a species i made specifically for that thing and my friends made ocs of that species). the story for it was really juicy too but im not gonna be telling about it cus it's almost identical to my current project with him and i might wanna make it into a real thing one day so.. SPEAKING OF WHICH

HIS CURRENT DESIGN. MORE PHOTOS.

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!! GAAGAHAJJSDJDKSK

anyway. yeah, there isn't much i can tell about the story, but i can tell you about how SHIT it is trying to come up with fantasy clothing. i am no fashion designer, not by a longshot, so my boy has his tits out 24/7 because i can't think of anything he could wear (and also i just love seeing him bare chested ❤️). i kinda don't even know where to start with the clothes cus i don't want them to be the generic european medieval stuff you see in fantasy CONSTANTLY and i am awfully lazy at researching anything that isn't my number 1 interest so. yah. to combat not being able to draw him with a canon design, i made a domestic modern au 🫶

here's feliks and his roomie clancy :3 they are my biggest blorbos rn and i would REALLY love to talk more about them but um. yeah this post is long enough especially considering there is still one oc i wanna mention

here's valo!! she is feliks' sister. you might think wait you didn't mention feliks having a sister? no i didn't because she is his BROTHER. I GENDERBENDED VANCE. BECAUSE IT WOULD FUCK. and yeah she is absolutely incredible i love her from the bottom of my heart. valo and feliks still have kind of a complicated relationship but at least in the au feliks doesn't kill her :D she's just kinda chilling with her gf until i come up with a story for her too

so ya that's all i wanted to talk about for now!! if you read this far then thank you 😭🫶 i had so much fun writing this. i was busy the whole day today but i just kept thinking about how much i wanted to answer your ask haha. i didn't plan for it to get so long though but im super grateful if you read this far 🥹

[space-writes]

writing questions tag

tagged by @cherrybombfangirlwrites, thank you!

[ID - a rainbow decorative divider]

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

oh god, don’t make me choose between my children, i love them all. if we measure in terms of Percetange of My Brain Rotted, though, it’s Obedience. Rizeth and Ashenivir I just…I love them so much.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

hmm, not really. most of what i get asked is just character or worldbuilding stuff and i love it a lot, but nothing Spectacular that haunts me or anything

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

i love coming up with new stuff, and i love when things Connect while I’m working. those little flashes of ‘oh damn’ are so satisfying. and i love working over a sentence to get exactly the right words, building the rhythm and the sound of it into the perfect combination.

i could do without the endless imposted syndrome and the transition scenes that don’t want to work and the feeling like nothing will ever be finished TT_TT

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Make Reader Go !!!!!

also, Make Blorbo From My Brain Stop Bothering Me So Damn Much

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

You can’t edit a blank page/all writing is re-writing. It’s gotta exist before you can make it good, and then you have to put in the work to make it good. What that process looks like is different for everyone, but it’s the fundamental baseline of all writing, imo. Make it exist, then make it good.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

…how to format dialogue. i spent SO MANY YEARS not realising about how to properly do the capitalisation “When you have a dialogue.” And then they do something. “Like this.”

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Currently my favourite is The Perils of Wanting, which is the first full-length Obedience book (and you can read it here! new chapters go out every other week~).

Otherwise it’s still probably body mine, which is an Obsession fic but also just weird and fucked up and i’m still extremely proud of it. i did everything i wanted with it, and everyone who’s read it is like !!! which, as i wrote earlier, is the reaction i always want :p

(heed the tags on that one though, it’s got. Some Stuff. in it)

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Rainier or Vivien. Rainier I designed to be awful in some very specific ways: cynical, self-obsessed, manipulative, convinced nothing bad can ever happen to him. I don’t know that it’s necessarily controversial, but also he’s the kind of person who, if i knew him in real life, i would never want to get stuck in a conversation with.

Vivien is just a horrid little man who thinks murder is okay if it’s like, your coping mechanism or whatever.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

they’d be confused and also fucking psyched: “what do you mean we finished a book? more than one?? people are READING our stuff and they LIKE it? a LOT?? woah, everything reads like an actual book now this is cool as fuck. wait, you don’t want to get published any more? hey what’s all this gender stuff, why are there so many boys kissing in here—”

[ID - a rainbow decorative divider]

Blank questions & tags under the cut

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

no-pressure tagging @viscerawrites @winterandwords @thegreatobsesso and @olliexwrites

[coldflasher]

why do you hate destiel?

with all the love and respect to my destiel-loving moots, peace and love and no hate and im genuinely glad ur all having a good time, this is by no means intended a personal attack. we are all friends here!! however, u may wish to avert your eyes because i'm afraid i am about to slander your man with extreme prejudice

basically it all boils down to the fact that i cannot stand castiel and i feel that his appearance in the show was the initial catalyst in its departure from the themes and plotlines that i personally find compelling as a viewer

i LOVE early supernatural. for me, supernatural was at its best when it focused on the smaller-scale monster of the week and when the aim was saving one or two people, when the threats were contained and it was focused on the two brothers and the road trip and what are we gonna hunt down and kill this week? when things became more grandiose and theological and there's a holy war and angels and the end of the world is nigh... that stuff just doesn't interest me anywhere near as much as just the everyday minutiae of saving people, hunting things... the family business... all that stuff. and i know there were always hints of Something Bigger, a Grand Purpose for Sam in particular, but it was still relatively contained and not the main focus.

i feel that cas showing up signifies this huge tonal shift and the show becoming something that i do not enjoy anywhere near as much as i enjoyed the early seasons. the angels, and god, and the apocalypse, and every single season we're facing the end of the world... and bear in mind that i have never made it past season 8 and by that point i was passively staring at the screen rather than watching, and that i have never consciously paid attention past s6, so im sure im missing out on many years of character development for castiel, but from the parts of the show i've seen, the guy has all the personality of a plank of wood. i don't find him funny. his deadpan delivery and lack of emotion, while obviously intentional and reflective of his character, do nothing for me. every time he's on screen, he pisses me off. on the rare occasions i watch past season 3, every time he's on the screen (assuming i am alone lmao) i am shouting "FUCK OFF!!" i can't even expressly put my finger on what it is i loathe about this character, but to me, he's about as fun and compelling as a piece of wet bread.

and yet people LOVE HIM?? everyone bigs up destiel, so on my first watch i RACED through the first 3 seasons to get to his first appearance and then realized with slowly dawning horror that i have been hoodwinked! bamboozled! maligned! i was led to believe that this man was the highlight of the show. everyone---THIS IS YOUR MAN?? I HATE HIM!! AND THE FACT THAT PEOPLE GO SO HARD FOR HIM MAKES ME HATE HIM EVEN MORE!!

so what, you may ask, has this to do with destiel? honestly just the fact that he's there. it's not about the dynamics of the ship or whatever, like i can see the writing on the wall, it's obvious why people ship it. no doubt i would concur, if my immense and honestly somewhat irrational loathing for this character did not consume me whenever i am reminded he exists. i am a HUGE dean winchester enjoyer. but i cannot in good conscience see him paired with a character i hate so much without being instantly enraged.

you don't choose the blorbo---the blorbo chooses you. and sometimes you are also chosen by... the anti-blorbo. and the only way to know peace is by doing everything in your power to forget that he exists.

[palin-tropos]

ok let’s do it. let’s have it. the Jargument

if you interact with the really early posts I made for my pathologic/main blog followers about disliking jeanvic that’s okay but pls bear in mind those are pretty much the feelings I had right as the credits were rolling

if he’s your blorbo he’s your blorbo, god knows I’ve gone to bloody war on behalf of another character who often provokes negative emotions (bachelor daniil dankovsky pathologic)

but also if you want me to soften on the character it’s not gonna work to be like “actually harry deserves it” or “jean did nothing wrong” cause I already have thought over those things and disagree

I tend to really dislike characters who are written by fandom to have a static or constantly resetting antagonistic attitude towards a sympathetic character and it’s the sympathetic character’s job to just get accustomed to verbal abuse and take it less personally and eventually warm up to the cranky attitude instead of asking for it to stop.

NB: harry having done fucked up things in his past doesn’t make him less subjectively sympathetic by the end of the game. unless you decided to play him as a jackass but well I didn’t lol

my initial reaction to Harry Du Bois after one playthrough was pity for the fact that the amnesia seemed to save his life (and if he intentionally tried to induce it, I have even more pity for the fact that he was trying to save himself and save the world from himself at the same time), because it removed him from his toxic cycles of shame and interpersonal drama and self-loathing. the way I played him, he made more progress in a week than he’d clearly done in years. and that’s cool! that’s a good story!

what I felt at the end of it is that I wanted to give him more time. another week, maybe a month. but he can’t, he needs a job, because he needs medical care. I felt downright scared to let him go off with the Precinct 41 characters, because it might be too soon to try to get back to the regular cop life (I mean fuck being a cop anyway but that’s another matter)

I was really emotionally invested in this fictional character man and so, you know, sorry about being skeptical that he was going to be okay being pulled back into the life that made him want to die in the first place, by characters who didn’t even want to visit his bedside when he was recovering from a bullet wound, even though they had time to sit around for days in a cafeteria wearing a wig and dodging all sincerely asked questions. it felt like a reasonable reaction at the time

[tiredassmage]

can we hear more about in dreams, hopes to die... 👉👈 those lines are so tasty..

CHOMPING AT THE BIT, AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!!!

Would you believe me if I reveal that this snippet is from the same piece? It's obviously an overall not very good time kind of piece, so I felt a tiny bit bad about it for once and decided to throw Tyr a bone. Valkorian and Tyr's own conga line of bad times couldn't be the only thing in five years worth of dreams, I figured, lol.

Also, that very scene is where the banger In the dark, it’s easier to hide and easier to tell the truth came from, lol.

Don't get too excited though because that's... very short. And also it's mentally set to Eyelids by PVRIS, so uh. It still punches me in the face.

Eventually I'll hopefully throw him another bone and give him and Theron's time on Rishi or Yavin IV a little pass because I'd like to think Theron's at least a little right and something came up. And stars know Tyr needs a fuckin' break, good gods almighty anlkfdnafldsf. Says she who continues to put that man in Situation after Situation after Situa-

And it was very hard to stop at just the first line for that initial post because the three lines that follow it are the meat and potatoes of what is currently the opening sequence of what I hope will eventually be a coherent fic. Or at least kinda coherent. It's still a very nebulous piece and I kinda like that, so I might not really do much more setup because it seems fitting that there wouldn't be a lot of setup and transition in something like the carbonite dreams era.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly given the nature of the setup of that chapter, but a lot of these scenes flirt with the concept of death. Tyr's dangerous dedication to "finishing the job" isn't anything new to those of us who have been here a while, lol, but this is a good character study piece if you're newer to my favorite blorbo, though it's an undeniably heavy one and obviously a bit fucky and nebulous by nature.

Also, fair warning, yes I'm giving you lines, but also I am going to give you a ramble and a half about Tyr lore because this is the piece I'm stuffing some juicy tick-tock workings into because I realized it was good for that and I love my boy so much, he's so fucked up. I love him though.

Anyway, I teased, so the next three lines of that scene, as foretold beneath the cut:

At first, it’s a firing squad. Mud cakes their boots and the rain pelts heavy on worn, drawn faces.

Tyr pushes to his feet unsteadily. A flash of lighting breaks overhead, glancing off of leveled blasters and hollowed eyes.

It will end as it should: without a soul remembering his name. He’d prefer it that way.

Okay, so... this is also not necessarily a piece I intended to write, but I realized there is... almost no better place to do a deep dive into some of the things that tick inside of Tyr that maybe aren't best portrayed in dialogue alone. This also wasn't meant to be in present tense, but it didn't feel right in past, so I ended up caving and that's... been a theme of the week, I guess, lol.

This is also like. I always chuckle a bit in that scene from Visions in the Dark later where Valkorian threatens you to meet his challenge and grow stronger or die alone and unremembered because wouldn't that just be ideal for a former Cipher. Wasn't that how the story was supposed to end? He didn't ask for your bullshit, grandpa.

There's currently two other scenes I have - they're all relatively short as I try to keep with that sort of drifting feeling. But the other one that might [Large Eyes Emoji] be of... relevant interest...

What’s been done has already been done. It doesn’t matter what it was. Maybe it won’t matter to anyone else.

Because it’s going to end here and now. Such were the decrees of the Sith - of the Empire.

Absolutes.

It matters to him that he tried. This is one of the kinder ways this could go - quietly, without the fanfare of blood on his teeth and a fire in his eyes.

“For what it’s worth, sir?” Nine exhales long and slow as he closes his eyes. “I’ve always admired you… You did your best.”

Finally.

No.

More.

Running.

“But I’m not going back.” The old man’s one of the few he could ever hope to ask this final favor. “Finish this - what we started.”

The Minister of Intelligence pulls the trigger.

It’s over before Tyr feels the ground beneath him.

Also topical given the "are others concerned about their sleep schedule" tag post reblogged earlier today, lol, and the idea of chronic nightmares. That Tyr and I haven't talked about. To each other. Or the world. Possibly not with the people he cares about, either. I'm sure Theron knows nebulously that he can have some troubled sleep - you don't share a bed with someone and not notice how consistently they have trouble falling or staying asleep.

But I think the fuckiest part of the whole Castellan Restraints period for Tyr is how he doesn't want to let the old man down. The Minister is more a father figure in Tyr's eyes than his own father, quite honestly [Tyr has a... kind of non-existant relationship with his entire family, unfortunately - and it's not because he went into Intelligence], and there's absolutely a part of that dynamic that is mentor and protégé.

And it's important to me that he sees this scenario with the Minister and not Shara - at least in Chapter Two, where it first haunts his nightmares with some consistency. Because I made a conscious choice in Shara knowing as Keeper about his Restraints - not because that ever comes up in-game, but because it adds something very crunchy to their already doomed narrative. And the background to that decision is that I decided it's... the kind of silent acknowledgement that the Minister can afford to give of their more intimate relationship. It's damage control, mitigation. With a heavy heart I imagine he tells her this in private, off the record, because Nine was her Cipher. And both of them still hold him in high regard.

Nine's given a possibly unusually loose leash to pursue the SIS investigation because of the Minister and Keeper's word; Watcher Three mentions this in broad strokes when he questions you about the blackout in records.

Anyway, the point to me mentioning this is actually that Tyr makes a very conscious effort to not think about this in the midst of the Restraints causing problems. He's reluctant enough to cede that he should hold the Minister responsible for this gross violation of his privacy and trust, but he's even more reluctant to give that the woman he loves has any knowledge or hand in the process - unwittingly or, especially, wittingly. Ultimately, he stubbornly doesn't hold them responsible. It hurts less to place the blame elsewhere. And he never loses the inescapable nostalgic kick to go home in the sense of the old paradigm - him and Keeper and the Minister.

He gave them everything.

And there's something in here about his regret at not being able to say all of this respect in better words or more directly. There's that acknowledgement that there's one person he trusts to understand why this was his breaking point. And, ultimately, there's the acceptance of the likelihood that none of this is going to end well, that he's living on borrowed time stolen from fate or destiny, or hell, maybe the Force. Tyr doesn't give a whole lot to whatever higher powers might be out there - relying on them hasn't ever saved him and he doesn't expect it to.

It makes it very interesting to watch him knowingly and willingly lie about the Black Codex after he lets Ardun walk with it and promises to double for the SIS. In a way, he's committing the greatest failure and throwing away everything the Minister has fought so hard with him to maintain and keep, especially when both of them have spoken of ideals instead of goals, etc. But it's necessary. It's what's best for Tyr, mentally, at that point. And even one of the figures he loves and respects the most can't override that desperate intrinsic need to fight for himself. The old man is, after all, one of the largest advocates of it throughout his career as Nine.

And, I suppose speaking of the nostalgia for Intelligence, my favorite set of lines from the final scene so far:

She’s sobbing against his shoulder. Dust and blood stain an almost unfamiliar uniform - he hasn’t worn uniform on Dromund Kaas in months, maybe years…

Everything’s been such a blur since Intelligence was disbanded…

so YEAH. I uh. I have a lot of feelings and this is where I'm sniffling and sobbing and word vomiting them into one doc but in story format, I suppose, lol.

Also completely unrelated to this particular fic but I am. Still thinking so intently about Eight x Tyr thoughts. They're now living rent free in my head and all of this.... absolute devotion stuff... hrhrhghghghghghghghrhhg. Brain vibrates because this is obviously all related to it because of the few people who could ever possibly understand any part of this series of events and feelings, it'd be another Cipher.

Tyr really does mourn Intelligence like... ghhghg. I'm unwell about it. He gave everything to it and its success. He doesn't regret it. The SIS investigation and the following fall of Imperial Intelligence were some of the worst fucking years of his life and it's destroyed him, really. He's living in and with the ruins like a bombed out city. It destroyed his everything and he'd almost gladly let it finish the job and destroy him to finally get his retribution. And he'd just as gladly let love destroy it all and rebuild it from the rubble when he has the right person beside him. Something something doesn't realize that he doesn't want or need to continue that destruction, he just needs fucking... idk validation or something. Acceptance. Acknowledgement. And then they can work on what "okay" looks like in the aftermath. He needs to be just as responsible for someone else's "okay" to even begin figuring out what the hell it looks like for him. hOUgh anyway.

I'm fucking normal about Cipher Nine, obviously. Thanks for comin' to my TED Talk.

[ragecndybars]

🥝🍐🍈 for the ask game! <33

HIII JACKS SORRY FOR THE LATENESS, I WROTE MY ANSWERS OUT, LOST THEM TO A TUMBLR GLITCH, WROTE THEM ALL OUT AGAIN, AND THEN MY WIFI WENT DOWN FOR MULTIPLE DAYS SO I COULDN'T ACTUALLY PUBLISH THIS ASK UNTIL I HAD A DAY OFF TO GET MY HOTSPOT WORKING... THIS ANSWER HAS JUST BEEN OPEN IN FIREFOX STARING ME DOWN UNABLE TO BE PUBLISHED BC IT WAS ON MY LAPTOP AND NOT MY PHONE HSLJSDFHLFDKSHJ.... THANKS FOR THE ASK EVEN THOUGH GOD CONSPIRED AGAINST ME ANSWERING IT, ENJOY

🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

Last time I did this ask game, I went with a cop-out answer and said angst, but that's really more a genre than a trope imo, and as an AO3 tag it's verrrry broad. The funny thing is that, since I'm not letting myself say angst, I think I'm instead going to have to say Time Travel, which is very funny because I haven't posted very much time travel, lmao. The reason for that, though, is that every time I start a fic which involves time travel, it spirals massively out of control and ends up becoming such a large project that I never finish enough of it to post... 😭 But god I just love time travel so much, it's so juicy, there's such wide potential for both angst and comfort, fixing things and making them worse. Someday one of the many time travel fics rotting away on my computer will come to fruition... I swear it...

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Oof. Uh. Yeah... 😅 There's usually at least one of these in every fandom I get really into, and depending on what it is, I go back and forth on whether I subscribe to the "canon isn't real it can't hurt me" philosophy, where I just pretend it never happened, or the "canon is real but I came with a hammer" philosophy, where I acknowledge the event as canon but then explore whatever the problems are with it in my writing. Sometimes it just depends on the tone of the fic, too, haha. As a good example of this, I love Kanji from Persona 4, and depending on the fic, I'll either choose to explore the way he continues to reject his sexuality and the homophobia he suffers from the rest of the cast..... orrrr I'll just quietly sweep canon under the rug and write both him and the rest of the cast the way I think they should've been written to begin with. (I do the same with Naoto, lmao, he's my special little trans man)

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

I've ranted at GREAT length about my Minato headcanons before, so I'll just pick one I haven't really focused as much on which I've been thinking about more while playing Reload. My god Minato is so autistic and I love him so much. I basically always write him as having an extremely limited understanding of social cues, and, in an effort to make up for this, he kind of just defaults to being a passive yes-man since that's what's gotten him the least negative results in the past. This is how I understand him through the lens of his most criticized social links (such as Kenji, Kazushi, and Hidetoshi) where the "correct" answers tend to be just agreeing with people and letting them do as they please. The way I see it, he's just... so tired of trying to interact with people earnestly only to be misunderstood and accused of being an asshole just because he can't pick up on the silly little social dance that everyone expects him to know instinctively. It's only as he experiences his character development over the course of the year that he begins to hit his stride as a leader and therefore learns to step outside of his comfort zone a little and speak up for himself with the understanding that he might still be misunderstood sometimes and that's something he's willing to risk.

[masterserris]

just got the credits of violet and i have many thoughts.. spoilers under cut

god the fact that turo has been DEAD for THREE years and his corpse has just been rotting and his AI is just down there all alone doing the best he can after his creator got gored and bled out... god. he’s been down there just. sentient enough to have emotion. pride. sorrow. but cannot leave, cant shut it down on his own. it’s shut down is his end. so he yeets himself into the future. sir i hope whereever you are in the future, you have a good time and they will accept you AI man with your stories of the past. a living relic really! very cool scientific discovery, hopefully they know not to fuck with time in the future me thinks bc of AI turo. anyways. yikes my dude, arven you have a million layers of trauma to work through even more so than before. more than that, now they have to report his death to the league and stuff since he was a famous inventor. like uhhh yeah we are kids but all of this crazy stuff DID happen and you gotta believe us. legit time machine down there. bonkers i know but it’s real. also he’s dead. also there is other things down there and uhhh just dont worry about it. 

paldea feels like one of the more “lived in” regions where it’s got a clear history and sense of self. it feels like a real place. a lot of other regions are just... kinda there. plus i liked that there was no world ending threat or evil people or anything. just a dead man’s dream haunting the world, putting future pokemon where they dont belong. just had to hit that off switch that’s all. oughgh it hurts. 

but it’s good! i love the characters. i want mr. hassel to be my dad he’s perfect your honor. dragon type elite four member who is your loving art teacher who care you and support you. sir be mine forever you are my blorbo from this game. rika is a close second bc of wittiness and gender. 

[inkdemon-whore]

remember kids, you can be a cannibal murderer who wants to eat a child, 2 children in fact, kill their mother even, and that's a-ok in fiction because it's not real

but as soon as ya got a lil kid pinned and choked to the floor, as that murderer, who wants to stab that child to death and eat them. THAT'S predatory.

you need to murder your children with RESPECT and DIGNITY. you need to stab them FROM A DISTANCE. use a bow and arrow even.

if you get up close, with a knife, a short ranged weapon, to kill someone, and too keep them from moving you put your massive fucking weight onto them. that's SEXUAL. and the murder has become VERY KINKY AND ADULT. because murder is for kids, and should be safe for them to explore in fiction.

--

look man, i don't fuckin like the "god i wish i was skid" comments either, but everyone and their mom is simping over a cannibal who's intent was to kill, and possibly eat, two kids. i've spent 8 fuckin years on this hellsite, dealing with sexual shit on and off, trying to figure out what the hell i'm comfortable with for the sake of the art i wanna post, and there comes a point where you just kinda have to give up your own fuckin boundaries as an artist to get the art you wanna get out there out there. who gives a flying fuck what my intent even was with the art? at the end of the day, art is meant to be looked at subjectively, it's supposed to make you think, it's supposed to make you feel literally anything, good or bad.

what do you want me to do? make a full comic of him gutting and eating skid? will that make it less sexual for you?

or do you want me to dumb down your pwecious widdle muwder blorbo into baking cookies and giving the kids lil headpats? or will you say that's predatory too? he is a murder, he could probably manipulate people by seeming soft and innocent, hell he fucking might have in the past, we don't know the characters backstory, but your fav is probably problematic, and that's fine. giving out "pedo" and "predator" like it's candy on halloween on the other hand, is dog shit.

i'm glad you're disgusted and appalled by my art

because that means it's getting through to you.