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minhoseok · 4 years ago

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Infiltration Yandere!YangYang

pairing: yangyang x reader (fem)

description: yangyang got himself into a mental ward because of you. you decide to pay a visit to see why he would put his life aside for someone like you. you end up finding out more than that.

Warnings : its yandere, so its going to be toxic, gore-ish and unhealthy. this is purely fiction and does not represent the members or Yangyang in any way

based on the wayv teaser : 10110

Blood stained nails tapped against the brick wall, head banging against it for what seemed like the hundredth time today, Yangyang was at it again. Everyday it was the same thing, he woke up, ate barely enough, self loathed, then yearned for y/n. This was how it had been for the past year.

Audible footsteps approached his cell as he dragged his nails up against the worn out brick, eyes peering up the slightest. Muffled voices could be heard from the inner walls of the cell. The gruff voices of the body guards and a female voice could be heard. Hearing the locks free he finally looks up.

Yangyang grins as he tries to stand up from his bed, crammed in the corner of the room. Walking towards the two figures at the door going as far forward as he could with the restraints on his ankles.

Y/n stepped back with caution, picking at the skin around her fingers, causing them to bleed as she tried to calm herself down. She’d been requested to come by the mental hospital by Yangyang himself, ever since he had first ended up there.

“Y/n...” his throat rough and dry due to his refusal to drink anything. Eyes study her through his overgrown bangs. Red stained hands reach out to feel her face as she gets pulled back by one of the guards.

“Don’t push it” he uttered to the shorter boy. He glared at the taller individual.

Y/n got the hint that he was obviously uncomfortable around him due to the thick tension in the room. “You guys can leave, I’ll be ok” y/n voiced out quietly. Directing her eyes away from the young boys stare, trained on her

Nodding in agreement the two guards left the room. Only to stand outside, in case things got out of hand.

“Y/n you’re here? Why?” He teased, taunting her, hoping to drive her as mad as she drove him.

“They said you wanted to talk, and I” she paused “ and I wanted answers” she said looking him in the eye, emotionless.

She stood a good distance away from him. Close to the door., way too far for him to even get close.

“Ahh I see, so you didn’t visit because you missed me?” a small frown was visible yet you could see the smugness that lurked behind it.

“Look, why did you follow me, stalk me? Kill all those people?”

He purses his lips, ruffling his rough, matted hair. “Very straight forward I see? I’ll give you an answer similar to that too. They touched you. Something that was mine. They don’t deserve to live” he basically sang out. grin playing at his lips once again as he remembered the way he ruined them slowly, how he was successful in protecting what was his.

He was snapped out of his daze when he thought about the stupid cell he was forced into. They took her away from him. He couldn’t protect his love anymore when he was chained to the wall, too distant from his precious y/n.

She suddenly took steps closer. Curious to see how far he’d go. He shuffled closer until his restraints were tight, skin around his bare feet were burning and slowly ripping the skin apart.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” she watched in horror and disgust while closely observing him. He looked up at her with eyes that could pierce through you and huffed “because I love you sweetie” he tried to move even closer to her, bolts bearing the restraints, on the brink of falling off. He knew how close he was to getting her. He just had to figure out how to get out without anyone ruining his plans.

“Look, I don’t know who you are, but you stalked me for a good year, killed a bunch of people cause apparently they messed with me and now you’ve ended up here in this hell because you wasted your time on a lowlife like me.” She turned to leave before the tears fell.

“You’re not a waste” his jaw clenched at the thought of her thinking so lowly of herself. She deserves the world. Only I deserve her. Before she could leave, one final tug of his leg broke the chain.

In panic of hearing the burst, she turned around only to see Yangyang towering over her. Engulfing her in a hug.

“Please don’t leave me, not again”

Fear struck. Not knowing what to do she froze. Letting him enclose her into his arms. He held her tightly, pushing her head against his chest while raking bloody fingers through her hair. Her smaller frame having no chance against him despite him having such low energy and power.

Adrenaline suddenly rushing through her blood. She shoved him back with all her might. Even if it didn’t do much. She fumbled with the emergency button they handed her and pressed the button in a heartbeat.

Deafening sirens blasted and rang throughout the room. The door bursting open with at least 5 people ready to move. The two body guards from earlier were the first to go in.

Yangyang, still dazed from the sudden outburst from you, was still surprised and stood on the other side of the room, being restrained down to the floor. Weakly struggling against their strong hold. The other 3 finally walked in when they deemed it was safe.

You had only noticed in their hands was a shiny syringe, ready to put into action. You glanced at the boy who was yielding and thrashing. He looked up with sincere eyes, suddenly bursting out with laughter, the psychopathic side of him shining right through. Just before the nurses inject him with the drug. Before you know it. He was out.

-----

Y/n drove home in silence, the radio wasn't on as usual, ever since she saw Yangyang she hadn’t felt like herself. Her hands clenched the wheel as she stopped at the red light, knuckles turning white as she got caught up in her thoughts.

‘So that’s who was following me? A psychopath who claims to love me?’ She was shoved out of her train of thought when she heard a honk behind her; signaling the green light. She continued to drive home. Still weary of her surroundings, she still couldn’t get the thought out of her head. Had she really been the cause of countless deaths?

“Hello?” Y/n hurriedly spoke into the phone. Picking it up the second she had heard the call not caring for the caller ID

“Hey y/n we know you only came a few days ago but we need you here as soon as possible”

She recognised the voice, it was the head chief that had requested you go see Yangyang.

“ Hey um is everything ok?” she spoke leg bouncing as she tried to keep herself from panicking. What had gone wrong during the 3 days she was away?

“I think it's best if you come see for yourself”

“I'll be there in 30 minutes”

Y/n pulled up in the familiar parking lot of the large, barricaded building. She stepped out of her car and walked to the gate, to be greeted by two guards who stopped her before entering. One of them handed a mask to her, then stepped aside, opening the doors.

She found herself walking down the walkway that held foul memories, finding it hard to breathe she drank some water she brought with her.

“Ah y/n nice to see you” acknowledged Jaimson, the head officer. He then gestures for her to follow him down another hallway, leading up to the cell where she had met YangYang.

“I want you to talk to him, ask him the remaining questions we prompted you to last time. He’s gone a bit more mad than when you last saw him. If the light starts flashing blue I want you to put in the mask and move as close to the door as you can until someone gets you out. If he acts up we’re going to knock him out with some gas so make sure your mask is fixed on properly if it comes to that ok?”

Y/n nods her head, feeling drowsy, stomach churning in fear.

The iron door opened, and once again she felt so small, helpless.

She felt his eyes on her, head hung low, she quivered.

When she finally looked up the room was unrecognizable. Marks all over the room in assortments of colours, resembling those alleyways full of graffiti.

This time Yangyang was restrained to a chair behind a table. He looked through his overgrown bangs and glanced at the empty seat across him. Inviting her to sit.

Clutching the mask in her hand to her chest she decided to finally sit. Yangyang let out a low chuckle.

“Why” was all that y/n could utter out. Barely audible but yangyang heard it loud and clear.

“Because my love” he took a breath in, glanced around the room, then fixing his eyes on hers. “They touched you, disgusting imbeciles like them don’t deserve to live” he simply said, not phasing his calm yet eerie demeanor one bit.

Y/n took a breath in, unsure what to say in response.

“Well what’s so good about me then?” She suddenly came up with “what makes me any different than them?”

“You?” He suddenly tried to stand up though the chains keeping him seated, hands rigid against the cuffs

“You are a gift from the gods y/n, never and when I say never I mean it. Never compare yourself to those scums.”

“Well what makes you any better than them?”

That’s when he snapped. Struggling against his restraints, he was furious. “YOU! I’m here to protect you. I’m here to keep those idiots away to protect you.”

He calmed down and slowly sat back down and chuckled again.

“Isn’t that what love is about darling?” He cocked his head, a sinister grin forming.

“That isn’t love. You’re fucking crazy” her newfound confidence taking over her.

“Isn’t that what they say? Love makes you crazy doesn’t it?” Flashing his pearly whites.

“You’re obsessed” she blankly stared, all emotion leaving her.

She got up and left the room. His laugh ringing through the room, haunting her as she silently dragged herself out.

“Hey Y/n how are you?” Rang through her phone, her friend Cherlyn was on call while y/n was getting ready to sleep after the long day.

“I’m alright, you?” She tied her hair up, ready to wash her face.

After chatting for a while, Cheryln brings up something unforgettable.

“Did you hear the news?”

“What news?”

“Yangyang escaped”

Days passed,though it felt like years , y/n was too scared to leave her house, yet she felt her house was also the most dangerous place to be. He knew where she lived. He knew everything about her.

Driving back from a quick grocery errand she zoomed through the breeze, it had been days since she left her house, lack of food forcing her to get out. She made some rules for herself. If she has to get out of the house she has to leave while the sun is up and she has to bring her pepper spray and pocket knife. Not that they’d help much over an overly obsessed psychopath of a stalker that’s killed.

After parking her car and warily taking her groceries out she got ready to sprint up 3 flights of stairs without encountering anyone and dropping anything.

Running up wasn’t a problem for her. The problem was she has a whole carton of eggs and a bottle of milk she had to carry up without turning it into an omelet.

Finally reaching her door to her apartment she reached for her keys to unlock the door. Noticing her door was slightly ajar. “I could have sworn I locked my door” she mumbled under her breath.

Pushing the door open she was wary of her surroundings, looking around to see if anything was out of place. Given the state she was in she decided she must’ve accidentally left the door unlocked, pushing herself to remember not to do it next time.

Putting her groceries down she went to lock her door, noticing that she didn’t forget to lock it, but her lock had been picked at and basically destroyed.

Her heart dropped. Frantically looking around her house she came across her photos of her friends, photo frames shattered on the floor, marker drawn all over it. The shelf of photos was replaced with new photos. Photos of her when she thought she was alone, undressing, even in the shower.

Her face showed a mix of fear and disgust. Running to her room she got one of her baseball bats from when she used to play in highschool. She backed out of her room, clutching the bat in her hand, phone in the other. She looked around for possible threats. She decided to check all the other rooms. Checking her bathroom last, she shrieked. In her bathtub was a very much dead cherlyn and written on the mirror in what seems like her blood ‘TOLD YOU I’D PROTECT YOU’

Y/n look in the mirror once more seeing a masked shadow behind her, the same one she had prayed to never see again.

“Goodnight baby” the voice whispered as the cloth was held against her, knocking her out

The room was semi dark, an uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding her semi conscious body, tied to a chair. Towered in front of her was the person she feared most. The bright light suddenly illuminated the small basement. He touched her cheek softly, embracing the warmth he never got. The one he sacrificed everything for. “So beautiful,” he said, studying her features from up close, even in the state she was in she still looked like a goddess to him.

Eyes fluttering open she tried to rub her eyes, noticing the unusual restraint and uncomfortably dark light. She tried to call for help, not noticing the cloth tied to her mouth, drenched with her saliva.

Once she got used to the harsh light she saw him. Standing in front of her, a bright smile on his face, like a kid waking up on christmas day. y/n instinctively tried to move back, however unable to. Limbs carefully tied to the chair, held her down very well. Attempting to yell at him through the cloth she tried to wriggle her way out of the restraints.

‘Maybe if i pretend im hurt he’ll let me go?’ she thought to herself.

“Shh sweetheart don't scream, i won't hurt you, well unless you make me” he giggled to himself. “Look I’ll make a deal with you, I’ll take the gag off if you promise me you won't scream ok? If you don't try anything I’ll give you some water, maybe I’ll even let you talk to me.” he cooed

She nodded, eyes pleading in hope to win him over.

He smiled at her submissiveness and squatted down to her level. “Good girl” he was glad that he wouldn't have to use force to get her to listen.

Untying the gag he looked her in the eye, his adoration visible. Once the gag was off she took a deep breath. Worried what he would do with her now.

“W-why d-did you do this t-to me’ y/n croaked.

‘Baby u dont needa stutter with me’ he says, still caressing her cheek. She flinches away from his touch making yangyang frown. “C’mon y/n you know i wouldn't hurt you if my life depended on it. Well, unless you try to escape or make me jealous. Other than that you basically have me wrapped around your finger. I’d do anything for you.”

“Yangyang i-” she started to cough “water, please” she whispered.

“Oh right, i'll be back in a minute. Don't try to escape. Or else” she nodded quickly, a small ‘ok’ leaving her lips. He hesitantly walked towards the door and went to get some water.

Once she was sure he left by craning her neck she then pulled out the pocket knife she swore to keep with her all the time and cut the ropes around her wrist carefully, then smoothly slid out the ropes. Bending down she cuts off the ropes that tie her legs to the chair and slowly stands up, praying to not make any noise.

She got ready to get out or at least hide from him when she was interrupted with him standing at the doorway with a glass of warm water, and a very unhappy look.

“What did i tell you about escaping y/n? ” he frowned “I trusted you!” Yangyang slowly losing his patience, getting angrier by the second.

Backing her up into a corner she started to panic. At this point she was just bracing herself for the pain. Tears flowing down her face.

“ Please don't cry, i know you’re scared and confused, so I’ll let you slip this time ok? Next time I won't be as forgiving and you’ll be punished,” attempting to calm her down he kept his distance, he handed her the glass of water he had originally come to give her.

Suspicious of the water he just held it in her shaky hands. Noticing her hesitation, Yangyang sighed. “look i didn't put anything in it” he took the cup out of her hands and took a sip and made sure she saw he swallowed it “see?’. She hesitantly takes it back and chugs it all down

“Better?” he asked

“Yes. Thank you yangyang” the last part coming out as a soft whisper

“What did you say?”

“Thank you Yangyang”

“Good girl”

(a/n: it was originally longer than this but it got messy so i might post the remaining bit if you guys want)

#nct #nct yandere #yandere nct #wayv #nct yangyang #wayv yangyang #wayv yandere #wayvyandere #yangyangyandere #nctyangyang #nctsmut #wayv smut #yandere #yandere wayv #liu yangyang #yangyang

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promotiondating491 · 3 years ago

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Zoom Dating Service

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Originally Published:

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Experts:

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azeddinechaoui · 5 years ago

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75 Things Single People Wish You'd Stop Saying

Being single—especially as you get older—has major advantages. You've got more time and money to spend on yourself, and you can live more spontaneously, too. But that doesn't mean singledom doesn't come with some drawbacks as well. The big one is that your married friends and family are constantly interviewing you, testing you, and wondering when you're going to settle down. If you're single, you'll definitely recognize these 75 comments and questions as deeply annoying. For everyone else, try to spare your friends the inquisition: These are the things single people wish you'd stop saying.

1"Why are you still single?" young asian woman looking annoyed and rolling her eyes at a diner iStock

This is just one of the most offensive questions out there. "When you ask someone why they are single, it indicates that there is something wrong with being alone," says Shelley Mechette, author of 70 Days of Happy: Life is Better When You Smile. "Deciding to be single is never a problem, but being in a relationship just to say that you're not single, could be." 2 "So, are you dating anyone?" group of friends laughing, aging quicker Shutterstock

The classic. If you were dating someone you wanted people to know about, you probably would've mentioned it, right? This is especially irritating if it's asked by someone you haven't seen in a while. 3 "There are plenty of fish in the sea." school of sea fish in the ocean, astonishing facts Shutterstock

No need for tired clichés—especially if it's going to be one as bad, and downright unhelpful, as this. "There may be fish off the coast of Iceland, but right now your single pal may feel she's in a pond the size of a hotel swimming pool, so that sentiment isn't exactly helpful," says Amy McCord Jones, a veteran wedding planner. 4 "I never liked (insert ex's name here) anyway." Black Woman Giving a Thumbs Down Keep It Slang Terms Shutterstock

No one wants to hear this. Even if your friends think your now-ex is just the worst, once upon a time, you liked them. (Also, if you and your ex rekindle the flame, a comment like this just guarantees things will be awkward.) 5 "You don't want to end up alone, do you?" person standing alone, single life Shutterstock

Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But who's to say that just because you're not in a serious relationship at this exact moment, you'll end up one way or the other? 6 "I know your time will come." commonly misspelled words Shutterstock

You appreciate the vote of confidence, but you hate the feeling that your life is being reduced to something that can be needlepointed onto a pillow. 7 "Why don't you spend time focusing on yourself instead?" young white woman lying down on the grass by trees iStock

Just because you have time to date around doesn't mean you don't also have time to practice some self-care. After all, there are 24 whole hours in the day! That's plenty of time to devote to face masks and going out on a date or two. 8 "How hasn't anyone grabbed you up?" gay couple on their first date smiling, first date husband mistakes Shutterstock

It's like you're something to be purchased at your local store. This question seems to imply you're somehow incomplete or in need of rescuing—if only the right person could come along and fulfill you. 9 "Don't you want to have kids?" Parents giving their kids piggybacks, waist up, close up Shutterstock

If you're not even dating someone regularly, you might not be thinking about starting a family. Yet it's surprising how often this comes up. Nicole Burgess, a relationship expert with Kiwi Searches, says that even if asked with good intentions, this is extremely inconsiderate. "Having children isn't the right decision for everyone," she says. 10 "I know what's good for you." older friends talking over coffee Shutterstock

Sure, someone in your inner circle might know what's "good" for you. But you know who knows what's best for you? You. "Just because someone is single doesn't mean they are suddenly inadequate individuals of society. They don't need you dictating their lives," says dating specialist Cherlyn Chong, founder of Steps to Happyness. 11 "So what's wrong with you?" woman with concerned face, single questions Shutterstock

This one always stings, even if it's paired with a little chuckle. You may not have been concerned that there was something wrong with you before, but now you can't help but be a little worried. 12 "How's the single life?" two young indian men laughing together on the street iStock

As if you are the ambassador of the uncoupled, you get asked this by married friends who only have other married friends. They probably aren't actually curious about how dating is going for you—but since you don't have a spouse or children, they don't know what else to ask you about. 13 "Deciding to get married is the best choice you'll ever make." Wedding Couple Pay it Forward Stories Shutterstock

This kind of exhortation about the greatness of marriage and coupledom is not uncommon, especially coming from a happily married friend who has had a few drinks. But the unsolicited advice, given as if they are the authority on relationships, can get pretty annoying. 14 "Never get married." older white couple looking unhappy on a park bench iStock

On the flip-side, negative takes on the trials of marriage can be as aggravating to a single person as idealizing the wonder of committed relationships—and for similar reasons. The person doing the advice-giving is speaking from their personal experience of marriage or relationships, and if it happens to be miserable or frustrating, that's too bad, but it doesn't reflect the downside of relationships in general. 15 "Don't worry, you'll find the right person eventually." young black woman relaxing with her eyes closed in a chair inside iStock

You weren't worried. You know you'll find someone you're into eventually—or maybe you won't. Either way, it's not the constant source of stress that those in relationships seem to think it must be. 16 "You have to love yourself before someone else can love you." Couple Smiling Shutterstock

Wait, who said you didn't love yourself? Besides, even if you do struggle with self-esteem issues, that doesn't mean you're unlovable! People can love you at any point in your life, and you don't have to wait to let them in. 17 "I think it's so great you're happy being alone!" woman dancing alone listening to music with her headphones, stay younger Shutterstock

Um, thanks? This is one of those comments you're never really sure how to take. Should you not be happy? Do people in relationships have a monopoly on happiness? Of course not! So, go forth and continue living your best life. 18 "I think you're single because…" white man and black man enjoy beer, things not to say to single people Shutterstock

Nope. Stop right there. While it may be good-intentioned, trying to diagnose why someone is single is the dictionary definition of unsolicited advice. Besides, according to relationship expert David Bennett, "figuring out why someone is single is not always as simple as it might seem." 19 "I can't imagine having to date again!" young black man and woman enjoy cocktails on date husband mistakes Shutterstock

Dating isn't exactly some awful, tedious, excruciating thing, like waiting in line at the DMV. Hey, maybe you're the type of person who happens to like meeting new people! 20 "Maybe you should sign up for The Bachelor?" the bachelor tv show Image via ABC

Funny! 21 "When I was your age, I was already married!" Nervous bride Shutterstock

It's no secret that most people these days are in no rush to get married. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, just 26 percent of millennials were married in 2014—compared to the 48 percent of baby boomers who were married at the same age. So, next time a nosy relative urges you to tie the knot, let them you know you've got plenty of time. 22 "You'll get lucky one day, just like I did!" girl getting proposed to with wedding ring, single questions Shutterstock

Marriage is no slot machine at a Vegas casino—you don't want to have to get "lucky" when it comes to something so serious.

Also, why is being single considered unlucky? After all, you get the entire bed to yourself! 23 "Just give them another chance!" couple talking on a first date with each other husband mistakes Shutterstock

While it can sometimes be helpful, Chong says this comment usually comes as unsolicited advice from someone who might not know the situation fully. "Single people are perfectly capable of making their own decisions, and therefore also perfectly capable of knowing when a date is just not going to work out," she says. 24 "You'll meet someone once you become the best version of yourself." man single at 40, essential dating tips for men over 40 Shutterstock

Life is all about constant growth and change, so there's no telling what the "best" version of yourself is or when you'll be it. Frankly, we think you're probably pretty great as it is. 25 "You just need to make yourself look a little more presentable!" woman looking at her face in the mirror, things you shouldn't say about someone's body Shutterstock

Even if it's well-intentioned, this is actually pretty rude when you think about it—especially when it's directed toward women and translates to, "Maybe you should try wearing more makeup." 26 "When was the last time you went on a date?" older couple on date together, single peopke Shutterstock

This question never seems to have a good answer. If it was last night, it can seem like all you do is date. If it was months ago, you sound like you're having no luck with dating at all. It's a no-win situation. 27 "What do you even do on the weekends?" Friends Drinking Beers Outdoors BBQ Etiquette Mistakes Shutterstock

Just because you're not paired off with one specific person doesn't mean you hole up at home every weekend. You have friends. You have things you want to do. And you have things you need to do, too! 28 "Why don't you want love?" science marijuana boosts intimacy in couples Shutterstock

Why do some people consider love from a romantic partner the only real love that exists? After all, you have friends and family members who love you. You may not necessarily need (or even want!) love from anyone else. 29 "What's the dating scene like in this city?" New York, NYC single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Just because you are single doesn't mean you know everything about the dating scene in a given place! 30 "Have you read this dating book/seen this movie about dating?" Man Reading on the Subway {Small Resolutions} Shutterstock

Just because you're single doesn't mean you live, breathe, and think about dating at all times. Single people are often asked about the latest pop culture works that put their relationship status, or lack thereof, at the forefront—like a movie about a group of single friends or a book about dating—as if that's the only topic they care about. Single folks are perfectly able to appreciate stories about committed couples, too. 31 "Haven't you moved on yet?" random acts of kindness Shutterstock

Being single for a while after a breakup doesn't mean you haven't moved on from your last relationship necessarily. Maybe you've realized how great it is to be single. Or maybe you just haven't found someone new that you want to take that step with. It doesn't mean you're at home crying over your ex every night. 32 "Maybe you're too picky." too picky? single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

There's nothing wrong with having high standards. In fact, clinical psychologist Roxy Zarrabi says these comments usually come from people who fear being alone themselves. "Rather than providing support, these messages can convey to the person on the receiving end that they can't be happy alone, and that they should consider sacrificing their standards to be in a relationship," she says. 33 "Can I play matchmaker?" couple Shutterstock

Some people just want to make it all about themselves! There are some serious downsides when your friend is invested in playing full-on matchmaker. The biggest risk is not that a date will go badly—but that it will go great and your friend will remind you for the rest of your relationship that it was them who made the relationship happen. No thanks! 34 "My friend would be perfect for you." awkward guy single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Well, what if they aren't perfect, the date is awkward, and now you have to worry about running into this person in the future when it comes to your mutual friend? Agreeing to a set-up might be a bigger risk than just seeking out dates on your own. 35 "My friend's single—you guys should meet up!" dating single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

The intentions are good, of course, but if the only thing you have in common with this person is that you're both single, you're not off to a great start. 36 "Are you OK with being the third (or fifth) wheel?" middle aged friends laughing in kitchen Shutterstock

Unless they're going on a tandem-bike ride around the city or competing in a cuddle-off or something, you're going to have a perfectly fun time hanging out with couples as you would with singles. Your friends' concern about you being uncomfortable is likely more about them than it is about you. 37 "Just keep putting yourself out there and you'll find the right person." Lesbians in Cafe, things not to say to single people Shutterstock

Thanks, but you'll "put yourself out there" exactly as much as you'd like. This isn't an exercise regimen you are trying to master—it's just dating. 38 "I don't know how you do it." things polite people never say Shutterstock

Being single? It's not really that tough! 39 "What are you doing to meet people?" online dating app, single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Who says you have to be doing something to meet people? The question seems to imply that it's your job to be constantly on the lookout for a potential partner. You are living your life, and if that leads to meeting someone you're into, that's great. If not, no big deal! 40 "Are you putting yourself out there?" beer at a bar single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Out where? The phrase "putting yourself out there" just brings to mind images of you going out to the street and waving a sign promoting your availability, or going to a bar and setting up shop. 41 "Can I be your plus-one?" asian man and white man attend beach wedding, things you shouldn't say to single people Shutterstock

Everyone thinks they can muscle in on your wedding or event invites just because you don't have a set partner who automatically gets that plus-one status. Nice try, but you're rolling solo. Who knows who you'll meet! 42 "I wish I were still single." young woman smiling and talking to another woman in a hijab iStock

This comment usually comes with a rose-colored view of what single life is like—all freedom with no responsibility. The person saying it is clearly has a skewed vision of what life as a single person involves. It's plenty of fun, sure, but it's not all brief flings and late-night parties. 43 "You must have so much time on your hands." men drinking ways we're less healthy Shutterstock

For similar reasons as the last comment, this one is irritating in the way it misunderstands what single life is actually like—which is to say, it's not all that different from life in a relationship, with plenty of things to worry about, people to see, and things to take care of. Not having a spouse or partner to check in on does not mean there aren't plenty of other responsibilities you do have. 44 "Do you ever get lonely?" things women don't understand about men Shutterstock

Doesn't everyone get lonely sometimes? "Many people feel just as lonely and isolated in relationships, yet it's rare for them to be asked if they are lonely or miserable," says Bennett. And it's often asked with an overly concerned tone, as if you've been diagnosed with some incurable disease. You're single—not dying. 45 "You've got to meet my friend—you guys would totally click." older people hanging out health tweaks over 40 Shutterstock

Again, while the set-up gesture is nice, nothing kills romance more than high expectations. It's much better if a friend who wants you to connect with their friend just brings that friend the next time you guys hang out, and you take it from there if you're interested. 46 "So, what'd you think of (insert friend's name here)?" Friends Laughing at Cafe Anti-Aging Shutterstock

This is usually asked as soon as that newly introduced friend leaves the room, making it obvious that the entire evening was a surreptitious set-up. That arched eyebrow and knowing look they give you after you actually hit it off with one of their friends makes the whole thing feel a bit silly. 47 "You should use (insert fragrance here). It's a magnet for dates." energy boosters, single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

It's unlikely that a scent is going to make the difference between a successful date and a less than stellar one. But if it did, what would that say about the person you were dating? 48 "How are you still single?" Man, single Shutterstock

How are you supposed to answer that? "Because I have a weird tic that only comes out on dates and scares people off." "Because I have a terrible secret you don't know about." "Because I don't actually want to be in a relationship." Maybe you're single because you want to be single! Regardless, it's not your job to explain it. 49 "Have you tried online dating?" keyboard hearts single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Newsflash: It's 2020. Literally every single person on the planet is signed up for at least one online dating service. 50 "How are your profile pictures?" celebrity photo secrets, Things You Should Always Do at a Fancy Restaurant Shutterstock

Unless the person asking is a professional photographer, their inquiries into the photos you've got on Match.com will come off as voyeuristic rather than helpful. 51 "Can I try Tinder on your phone?" Tinder, single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

This is a question you might hear from friends who've been in a relationship for years and haven't dabbled in online dating. They're amazed by the simplicity of the modern dating app and want to try it out vicariously through your phone. But next thing you know, they've set up seven dates for you and you've got no idea who you're meeting up with. 52 "What kind of interests are you putting on your profile?" man texting on smartphone Shutterstock

Tell them your interests include "not answering ridiculous questions about my dating life." 53 "You should always ask them questions about themselves." couple looking through photo album over coffee, better wife after 40 Shutterstock

Thanks for the tip on basic social behavior. 54 "You will meet someone when you least expect it." Worst Things to Say to a Cashier Shutterstock

That's a very nice sentiment, but you're not living in a romantic comedy and don't need a cliché to make you feel good. How does this person know when you'll meet someone? Unless they're a legitimate psychic, they can keep these opinions to themselves. 55 "That's why you're still single." fake laughing bc annoyed single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

The context matters a lot with a comment like this. Coming from a friend, this could be a playful joke about some bad habit you might have or a borderline mean thing you said. But it's still an annoying, unnecessary comment that has a tendency to get under your skin. 56 "Ask them out for my sake." older couple on a double date, better wife after 40 Shutterstock

Those in committed relationships love to imagine what it would be like to be single again, and sometimes go so far as to direct you to get someone's number to go on a date on their behalf. You're not their puppet! You'll date who you want to date. 57 "When you are ready, God will send the right person." couple on a romantic date in a coffee shop Shutterstock

Those with spiritual leanings like to see relationships as preordained and part of some larger plan. And, while it's a nice sentiment, it sure puts a lot of pressure on what might be just a casual date. 58 "You'll find your soulmate soon." Shutterstock

Like the last one, this elevates dating to soulmate-searching and makes the whole conversation a bit uncomfortable. After all, you may not be looking for a serious relationship, let alone a soulmate. And you shouldn't feel guilty if all you want is a fling or a few fun dates. 59 "Have you prayed about it?" Couple Praying Together single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Sorry, but that is an oddly personal question. 60 "Is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?" young white man and white woman holding beers and laughing at an outdoor party iStock

Arrive to a party or event with another person and others are bound to assume that this is your significant other. It leads to plenty of awkward moments—especially if you just started casually dating that person… or aren't dating them at all! 61 "Do you ever think of getting serious about someone and settling down?" non coffee energy boosters Shutterstock

"Settling down" is one of the least appealing phrases a single person can hear. 62 "You know, rent's cheaper as a couple." over 40 cool apartment, single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

You know as well as anyone that "cost reduction" is hardly the best excuse to couple up. But thanks for the practical advice! 63 "You get better tax breaks when you're married." Unhappy Couple doing taxes single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Again, not a very compelling reason to run out and find someone to marry. 64 "Are you next?" A young couple after a marriage proposal. Shutterstock

A favorite question at weddings—it's asked as if everyone must get married and you've just been waiting eagerly for your turn. Can't you just enjoy the wedding cake and dance to the cheesy '70s songs without being pestered to join the ranks of the married? 65 "You should check out this great singles bar." please always tip your bartender, single people tried of hearing Shutterstock

Who says you have to go to a bar that's designated for unattached people? 66 "You should join this singles group." older couples at an outdoor dinner party, etiquette mistakes Shutterstock

Like singles bars, singles groups can feel a little desperate, especially if that's just not your scene. Why should you define your whole social life in terms of your lack of a partner? You just want to live your life, meet fun and interesting people, and do fun and interesting things—it doesn't have to be with other single people, or hold the promise of meeting a significant other, for you to enjoy it. 67 "When can we expect grandchildren?" grandparents and mom with grandchildren, working mom Shutterstock

Other variations include, "When can we expect a niece or nephew?" These come from out-of-touch family members who still ask about that ex you broke up with six years ago. They aren't really interested in hearing your reasons for being single, or whether you're happy about it. They just want baby photos. 68 "Whatever happened to (insert ex's name here)?" Couple is having relationship problems at dinner Shutterstock

Yes, that ex from six years ago that still somehow gets brought up whenever the family gets together. You knew it was a risky move bringing them back that one Thanksgiving—and now you've paid the price for it every Thanksgiving since. 69 "Does it bother you that most of your friends are married?" Shutterstock

Thanks for the reminder, but no, it doesn't often cross your mind that most of your friends are in serious relationships—except when other friends helpfully point it out and ask you how you feel about it. And if it did bother you, would they really want to know? 70 "Is it serious?" latino man and white man gay couple looking at a computer together on the bed iStock

Non-singles are always eager to push singles into coupledom, and this is a go-to question you'll get after mentioning you've gone on more than one date with someone. Stop prying! 71 "I think (insert name here) likes you." older couple doing a piggyback outside, better wife after 40 Shutterstock

No single person needs to hear this. You're not in elementary school. 72 "Who do you have a crush on?" friends gossiping while sitting on a sidewalk Shutterstock

Seriously, is this sixth grade? 73 "So, how long has it been since you… you know?" demisexual man who is prude Shutterstock

Your personal life is your personal life, and yours alone. What you do—or don't do—behind closed doors isn't anyone's business. 74 "Have you seen (insert ex's name here's) new partner?" woman angry using computer Shutterstock

Yeah, we're all on Instagram and Facebook. Anyone who asks this clearly doesn't know the truth: You're better than them. Full stop.

75 "Well, are you happy?" white man closing his eyes and putting his arms out to relax in the park iStock

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rolandfontana · 6 years ago

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‘I Want More From Life Now’: NYC Arts Program Helps Justice-Involved Youth

One evening last week, a courtroom at the federal courthouse in Brooklyn, N.Y., was transformed from its usual drab colors into a festive green.

Visitors walked on a green carpet to enter the room, where they found green banners hanging from the ceiling, people wearing green crowns, and multi-colored balloons floating towards the ceiling.

The redecoration wasn’t casual. It was meant to highlight the “Springtime Splendor” exhibition of artwork created by justice-involved youth who participated in an eight-week program that aims to help them avoid a jail term.

The evening was both a celebration and a graduation ceremony.

A federal courtroom in Brooklyn was transformed for the “Springtime Splendor” exhibition. Photo by Mansura Khanam

Participants in the “Young New Yorkers” Restorative Arts Diversion Program showcased their art work to an audience of judges, attorneys, prosecutors, and family members—in a venue that traditionally is devoted to judgment, and punishment.

One of the graduates of an earlier class, a 20-year-old named Cherlyn (organizers asked that last names be withheld), put it succinctly.

“Young New Yorkers gave me more options,” she said, speaking from the place where a judge usually sits. “It gave me more opportunities.”

Cherlyn, who was mandated to the program two years ago, has returned often to the “graduation” ceremonies because, she said, “I want to do for everyone what Young New Yorkers did for me.”

“I want more from life now,” she told the crowd.

For a lot of the participants, the program offers a way to process the trauma inflicted on them by the criminal justice system.

Destiny, 22, described attending the class as her “peace.”

“It’s a nice little escape,” she said. “I don’t have to worry about standing up at work for nine hours, or watching my niece cry. It was a good vibe, then back to the real world.”

Before her time at Young New Yorkers, Destiny spent 14 days in New York’s notorious Rikers Island detention facility—she did not disclose why she was arrested—in what she described as a nightmare experience.

She recalled not wanting to eat anything in jail because the food was “so disgusting” and not being given enough water.

“I cried every day,” she said. “It’s disrespectful to be put in a cell with seven other people and no one takes time to get you water.

“Once you’re in jail, you’re (treated like) an animal or a criminal.”

Playing with Hierarchy

Started in 2012 by Rachel Barnard, a former architect, Young New Yorkers holds about four celebrations each year, and they’re meant to bring all members of the justice system together.

Rachel Barnard, founder of Young New Yorkers. Photo by Mansura Khanam

Barnard wanted to play with the hierarchy in the room, so she decided that program participants, who were once defendants, should sit where judges usually sit, and showcase their work to the people who had the option to put them behind bars.

“(When) young people speak to people involved in their sentencing, it’s extremely powerful for them to say ’I take responsibility for my actions and I think the legal system needs to be reformed,’ ” she said in an interview.

“They create a vision through their art about how the criminal legal system could be, and it’s good for judges and prosecutors to experience that. They see the people they prosecute as talented and courageous and wise.”

The program is funded through the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, with additional help from private donors and foundation partnerships.

Along with an eight-week class, participants are offered a one-day art diversion program for young people who have incurred a Desk Appearance Ticket (DAT). There are also voluntary community programs and programs for returning graduates of the program.

Saffana, 20, completed the one- day art program in December after being arrested for shoplifting. She still comes to the events to show support and continue learning.

She said they talk about “different things” at each class.

For example, at one class they discussed taking care of yourself.

“One boy at the table said he was always the one to look after himself,” she said.

“Every time I come to the meeting I meet people with different stories.”

She also noted the program offers a lot to people who have been arrested, and shows judges, attorneys and prosecutors the potential of a young person whom they might otherwise have seen as just a number in the docket.

“It’s something that I didn’t think I would complete and I did.”

Lyasia, who just graduated, believes she accomplished something great.

“It’s something that I didn’t think I would complete and I did,” she said in an interview later.

“It’s going to bring good things into my life.”

Two graduates celebrate completing the eight-week Restorative Arts Diversion course. Photo by Mansura Khanam

About 320 young people go through the Young New Yorkers program each year. Since it was established, about 1,000 people have completed the program and avoided jail time.

Judge Joseph Gubbay, of the Brooklyn Treatment Court, who was an audience member and the first judge to sign off on the art initiative, describes it as an “irresistible program.”

“We gave it a shot, and it was a tremendous success,” he said.

Gubbay, who attended one of the classes, recalls watching the participants create art collages after being assigned the theme of “how do you see yourself?”

He remembered seeing images of fierce animals, like lions and eagles.

“I think it’s a way of separating yourself from all of the anxiety and drama and trauma you’re experiencing,” he said. “By separating your personal involvement in it, and projecting it into an object, it gives you some control and I think some self-insight.”

Barnard agreed.

“Any program that utilizes art to access conversations we need to have (that are difficult to have), but also gets ideas about how the criminal justice system should be reformed from the perspective of a young person, is a very good idea,” she said.

Hectavious, a graduate of the all-male program who was arrested for fighting, said the classes helped him a lot.

He noted that now, he thinks clearly and doesn’t feel as mad all the time.

“I’m not even worried about that stuff any more,” he said. “It’s not worth it. There are so many more things to look forward to.”

Megan Hadley is a staff writer for The Crime Report. Readers’ comments are welcome.

‘I Want More From Life Now’: NYC Arts Program Helps Justice-Involved Youth syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/

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