#good bye everyone I'll remember you all in therapy

[makorragal-312]

I know it's already been weeks since the finale, but the fact that Chris was so pissed at Eddie that he would rather go to Texas and stay with the grandparents who spent his whole life infantilizing him because of his CP and have been trying to take him away from his dad ever since his mother left is something that continues to bother me.

I honestly can't tell if it's OOC writing, a plot element to get Eddie to come out, or just something that's supposed to further develop Eddie and Buck's relationship in Season 8.

Either way, I'm still in constant pain.

[coldfarteditch]

the sillies

[yoon-topias]

Yoontopia | Chapter 5 { Rides and Noods }

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: When a not so normal day turns into falling back into routine with small changes for both Yoongi and Vi.

⟡ 5.5k words

Yoongi Pov:

We saw Lewis one more time, said bye to bubbles from far away since the exhibit was too far before closing. She is holding onto my finger and we're going to the lockers to take out our stuff. She is walking slowly, almost behind me. I wonder what's going on in her head. Did she go too far telling me everything? Is she having memories flash back into her mind? "Hey Vi, you okay?" She hums in response "I'm just tired, I feel drained." I remember when I finally opened up about everything when I started to get help I would be so drained emotionally and physically after group therapy I would just go and lay down in my room and think about being out of there, with her. That's when my utopia expanded more than just daydreams. 

Unlocking the locker and getting out our stuff and going to another locker and putting in the code 0613 she is looking at me confused "What? I knew we would come so I came before, and put ridin’ gear for the night." Always making sure we're both warm,  in the proper clothing I hand her the riding gear I bought for her. Both of us will be clad in all black and mine has neon red going through the stitching and hers purple on the stitching. "You got my gear, Yoon." she lights up her smile being contagious I can’t help but smile. 

"Well I'm not gonna let you go cold am I? Now go change okay? We're gonna have one amazing last ride, cause’ for the party I'm driving Jin's car since you'll be in a dress." She nods her head and stumbles closer to me like a penguin bobbing her head back and forth reaching to pick up her gear, god she looks so good in it.  It is tight and fits all her curves, the roadmap I want to know blindfolded.  When she is wearing what I bought her to be on my bike with me, yeah I can be possessive, but it's just who I'm. What's mine is mine, and she is mine. 

 Walking into the bathroom she has the backpack so she doesn't have to carry her clothes out with her in public, locking the stall, setting my stuff on the door hook so it isn't on the ground. Undoing my jeans,  looking down at myself I have the same scars she does in different forms.. Would she accept me also? Shaking my head,  grabbing my black racing pants with skid protection, sliding them on, buttoning them up, pulling my sweat shirt and hoodie off, folding them up and setting them down. 

My body has one deep scar that no one has seen, not even the one night stands. Always made sure it was dark until I needed to see their body to go to my utopia.  The only time I had a one night stand was when I was in a manic episode hell they felt like a dream more than anything, but I know what I did.  I run my fingers under my ribs where the deepest one is. I was in an episode and couldn't take it anymore and stabbed myself, because the voices told me if I did it would stop. Which of course didn't stop so I continued on my body when Pop came in and saw all the blood and stopped me. I was admitted at that time for two months. Two months away from everyone. I was excluded and that's when I learned I needed to control myself not everyone but for myself. I hurt pops my dad and luckily he wasn't hurt too bad just a few minor cuts.  

"Hey Yoon, you good?" Fuck I got lost in thought again "yeah I'll be out in sec sorry." throwing on my black shirt and my black riding jacket with the red stitching I'm ready to be on the road again. Fuck I need a- no I need pineapple.   

 Coming out of the stall Looking at myself in the mirror I have learned to accept the way I'm, sometimes I don't know who I'm but I know I have come so far from where I was. I found solace in riding. I needed a way to escape from reality and the bike felt like an extension of my body to the road. So many late night rides to escape my own self. Hans learned how to ride to have a way to connect with me since she felt like she lost me also. My bike is my comfort place going down the road seeing the highway lights passing by as I go in and out of cars, feeling the wind, walking on the edge of life and death but having the control of it all and choosing to stay. I sigh. I know what I need. 

I reach into my pocket grabbing my keys, the keychain canister with my own pineapple rather, a pharmaceutical fix. The xan in my hand putting it in my mouth cupping my hand, getting some water from the tap slinging my head back. The cold water rushes down my throat. I can feel the relief before it's even in my bloodstream. It may be prescribed, I shouldn't feel bad for taking it but after everything the last thing I need is an episode. 

Wiping some cold water on my face,  patting it away. Yoongi you can do this, you have been through worse she may be gone for a while but right here right now you're with her. Be strong for her but for yourself too.  I can’t risk falling down again. 

Walking out of the bathroom she is standing there with a lollipop in her mouth, her foot up on the wall and she is looking at the fish tank across from the restrooms. I put all the extra stuff in the locker. I'll come back for it tomorrow as I close the lock, she looks at me. "Oh you're done. Finally." She goes to move but I stop her.  "I need a fix, Vi." Placing my hands on her hips and looking into her eyes.  She blinks at me and bites down on the lollipop and pulls the stick out of her mouth "Was the last one, I guess you're outta luck Yoongs."

She is gonna be the death of me if I'm not already in the pits of hell I'm sure as hell walking in there willingly. "Ya know you're gonna be the end of me Vi." 

"I don't know." she shrugs at me squeezing  her hip and she lets out a sound I have never heard from her, going up to her ear "Did you like that Vi?" I see a light red tint on her cheeks so she likes pain? A masochist? I can get behind that.  "I'm gonna get my fix one way or another." and I tip her head up and lock our lips and she grabs onto the bottom of my jacket tightly.  

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple. 

I bite on her bottom lip and she parts her lips and we're moving in the sync she is mine in this moment,  it feels fucking amazing. I don't need those cigs as long as I feel like this. She is otherworldly and I don't know how I'm gonna do it without her when I just got her. I give her one more small bite pulling away,  we're both breathing heavy "Now let's go live a little." I grab her hand and lock our fingers. Walking to the doors to go to my bike. It's dark out, the best time for a ride. “But aren’t we living already?” 

“Yes we are but just you wait, Vi.” 

She is by my side and this is all I could ask for. I'm so close to pulling the trigger and risking it all and walking straight into hell, let her consume me but I can't take her down with me also. When we get to my bike, release her hand,  going to her back and unzip the bag, take her helmet out that’s on top. The color purple for me will always be associated with her and that's never changing. Coming around her I let my spare hand run over her hip. I really did pick the right gear for her, looking at her right now I could just sink in a hole. Anytime she was in her gear before I would just not look or only pay attention to her eyes which sometimes was the harder option. 

"Fuck you're so gorgeous." I mumbled not meaning to, and she looks up to me. "You're lying, Yoon." 

Looking at her right now under the night sky next to my bike, my escape the extension of myself. Hell at this point she may be an extension of myself in ways the universe won't understand.  "Violet, do you understand what I have told you multiple times before. I love everything about you, your eyes, hair, curves, hips, god your fucking ass I have to stop myself from looking at, personality, fucking everything about you. I would let you drown me and I'd accept my fate. So before you go and say I'm lying, look at yourself because you're lying to yourself Miss pineapple." 

Her head is already tilted up in shock, I place a kiss on her forehead and put her helmet on her. Those eyes stare at me through the shield. They are beautiful. Breathtaking. Enchanting.  If this is the last ride I'm gonna have with her for a while I'm gonna use it until I no longer have it. Shaking her head to make sure it's good can't let habits go away right? 

"Yoongi stop that! I'm gonna be dizzy one day and fly off the back." 

Getting close to her face and looking at her in the eyes "Oh yeah looks like I’ma have to hold onto your thigh the entire time then" 

Turning to get my helmet off her seat, buckling it up, swinging my leg over and turning on my bike to warm up since it's a cold night gotta let the engine warm up before going. I hold my arm around for her and she leans on me to swing herself over. Something about these small things we do mean so much to me it's a thing we only do together. Anyone else doesn't get this from me; she sees another side of me and I'm willing to let down that wall for her.

"Vi my terms tonight, my songs kay?" 

I hear her voice over the in helmet speaker "what my playlist isn't good enough?" 

"Nah I just wanna zone into my songs tonight, feel the connection with you and the road." 

She hum "mhm okays." 

I feel behind me her positioning to get closer to me and as she is I kick the stand up,  put it in gear to go and I turn the throttle makes us move suddenly makes her jolt forward and wrap her arms around me.  

"Min Yoongi you're really tryin to kill me huh?" 

"Who said I'm tryin you kill you when you already took my heart" 

I hit play, on my playlist I play when I'm alone in my thoughts on my late night rides she is gonna hear songs I never have played for her. Music is the only other thing I make a connection with.  

I rev my bike and she has her wrapped around my waist. It is different feeling her like this after today, I look down and I see her gloved hands fingers intertwined holding on ready to go. I rev my bike and reach my arm back to give her thigh a squeeze. "Let's go, wife." 

"Since when am I your wife?" 

"Didn't you hear? We got married not long ago looks like Mrs. Min needs a refresher course." 

Before she can say anything I take off time to go on the highway. I feel the way my bike feels and I'm already feeling lost in the feeling. The beat of the music coursing through my veins her touch. This is everything to me. My brain may be different from others but that's who I'm and I have found my ways to cope.  In other situations I have found ways to distance myself from it all, before I never let myself enjoy riding with her to the extent I feel right now because I knew if I did I would go too far and there would be no returning. Straight into hell I go. 

We're about to go on the ramp to the highway. I'm gonna take the longest way I can tonight, indulge myself in this. I give her a squeeze on her left thigh to give her the indication we're about to turn. She knows we're about to go on the highway so she needs to hold on tighter, thighs gripping me tighter. I'd like to feel them in other ways.  I lean left and I feel her lean with me and as we come out the turn I speed up to merge onto the highway. 

"Hold on."

"You think I haven't done this before? It's not my first time."

"Watch your mouth Vi, bad girls don't get what they want huh?" 

"And what do I want? mhm?" 

"Me." 

She doesn't reply but just squeezes me, I feel her helmet rest on my back. I know I caught her tongue she hasn't seen this side of me, for me in a relationship and a partner I need to be the dominant one for me I feel like I lose a lot of my control with my brain and emotions so I feel the most alive when I'm in control honestly I know we're no where close to that but I hope she is okay with that. 

The highway is empty, it's late and there are very few cars going in and out of the lanes passing by the few cars. My brain feels light, floaty, free I'm free there are no intrusive thoughts it's all gone I feel normal whatever that is.  I smile. This is what I miss out a lot of the time and when I get it, it's euphoric. 

Her body pressed against mine, she could drain everything from me and I’d still choose her every time. It sounds terrible but when you're like me this feeling doesn't come often. I truly don't know how I'm gonna do it without her but if it's not for her it's for myself to prove I have made the progress. I'm okay without her, strong enough. Right?

"Ready for some fun, you know what I’ma do." 

Her fingers tighten and I know it's time I pop the wheel up and lean back. I hear Violet in the speaker scream at the top of her lungs.  

"I love you Min Yoongi." did she just say that while doing this she really wants us dead huh. Grounding,  and slowing down just a little bit reaching my hand back squeezing her thigh. 

"You can't just scream that Vi. My heart can't take it."

"Looks like we gotta toughen you ups big fish, cause’ you're gonna hear it a lot." and she lets out a laugh.  

I give her a squeeze on the right side as we're about to go down a tunnel. "Right tunnel let's light it up" with that we turn right and the only thing in the tunnel is our neon red and purple helmet lights bouncing off the sides of the tunnel. It's just me and her in our own world and I'm not ready to let it go. "This song Yoon, it's amazing, add it to my playlist." She likes my music. This can't get better can it, I have to be dreaming. In my utopia. 

"Yoon can we have a sleepover?" 

"Well if I'm your husband I have to sleep with my wife right?" 

"I guess you're right gotta make sure you're not cheatin'" 

"I would never cheat, but with someone like you I gotta worry if someone stealing you away from me."

I reach my hand back and rub her thigh god what I would do to feel her thigh against my hand her skin, giving her a squeeze. We are about to turn turn off the highway to go to her apartment, as we lean I keep my hand on her thigh just a little bit longer I tell myself. We come to a stop. I don't need to give her a warning because she knows there is a stop sign at the end of the ramp. The only light is us lighting up the road and the red light waiting to turn green. Hell most of the turns she doesn’t need warning we know this city from the back of our hand. 

"It's peaceful tonight, Yoon we should sleep with the blinds open and the window." 

"We can do anything you want, Princess." 

It turns green and I squeeze her to turn and we go down the road into the night. I keep extra clothes at her house yet I'm just the best friend's brother huh? She buys all my favorite snacks and cooks my favorite food. I have my own spot on her bed. Yeah I'm just the best friend's brother. 

Going down the road to her apartments thank god Hana and her picked a safe area I made sure they would be okay alone. When Hana moved out I turned into the phone call away type of thing and anytime Vi was on edge I found myself in her bed with a pillow between us, because she said "No the couch will hurt your back just sleep with me." 

Pulling into my own spot that I have claimed right out front the building that Hans used to have, kick the stand and lift my arm to help her off. She swings her leg over and loses her balance and I pull by her arm to catch her before falling and she falls into my arm. "Careful, Vi can't have you breakin' on me when I just got you." 

She gains her balance,  she is standing in front of me waiting for me to take her helmet off for her. I turn off my bike. At night once the bike is off its pitch black yet all that can be seen is our red and purple against the pavement, swinging my leg over standing in front of her lifting the shield on my helmet tapping her chin. She lifts up and I unbuckle it, pulling it off her head, setting it down behind me. I straighten her hair for her and give her head pats that she is good to go. 

"Yoon! Can I take your helmet offs?" She wants to do what I do for her every time. Cute. 

"Sure let me sit on the bike Kay?"

I sit down on my bike with both my feet to one side, she steps up in between my legs and taps my chin like I always do for her. Yoongi you are doing this to see her smile go along with what she wants, not like I could say no to her anyway.  She is trying to unbuckle it and I see her tongue peek out trying to focus on unbuckling it.  Her brows are crossed, she is so focused that she doesn't even flinch when I place my hands on her hips. I hear the metal click. 

 She did it, took it off and placed it between me and her. She starts to fix my hair for me, her fingers running through my hair and it feels so calming, like when my mom would play with my hair when we were waiting on a room for me in the hospital she was trying to comfort me during the long wait of finding a bed for me many nights.  I'm grateful for the family I have. You know how they say men fall for the woman who reminds them of their mother, yeah she is so much like her. It's like a warm hug anytime I'm around her.  

"Ya done?" She nods her head proud that she did it. Grabbing both our helmets, taking them inside for the night she has the backpack on and we make our way to the door,  she enters in the building code. 134340. *beep* and the door unlocks,  we make our way to the elevator she is on the third floor. “Uh I forgot the code again. They gotta spot changing it every three months for safety. Blah. blah. Blah. Oh! My keys.” she starts to tap her pants 

“Damn it left the backup key in my pants at the aquarium.”

"Well lucky you I have the code memorized, and your spare." and I'm just the best friend's brother rolling my eyes. 

"Mister, did you just roll your eyes at me? You won't get your favorite snacks." she crosses her arms at me and pouts. I'm falling and I can't get back up help . Help me. I look at her and hear the *ding* for the elevator. 

"I didn't mean to please forgive my snack Princess. I need my snackies." 

"If I must." She lifts her head up and walks out the elevator to go to her door. I can't get enough.

 Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple. 

We get to her unit and my keys are in my pocket, but both my hands are currently holding our helmets. "Get my keys from my pocket. Left one Vi" 

She comes up to me and reaches into my left pocket and goes to unlock the door for us, she steps inside and turns on the light. I walked in and set our helmets on the entryway table she had to have that I carried here for Four blocks with her yelling at me "common we got this." 

"You're barely doing anything VI I'm holding it!" 

"Oh yeah, but we got this Yoon! Two more to go!" 

She did have to give me snacks and a back massage for that one.  We get into our night routine, she is in the kitchen making some dinner for us and I go to her room and set out our pajamas we're going to wear, laying them on her small leather sofa. I picked out some black sweat pants and a big navy shirt. She on the other hand will be wearing her purple pajamas gosh she is a child at heart but I love everything about her. 

My job is also to get the bed ready so I fold down the sheet and comforter since she always has to make her bed saying "I don't feel complete without it made in the morning." grabbing my pillow from her side that she of course stole and setting it on my spot,  placing another in the middle a body pillow to separate our halves of the bed.  I walked out and she made us some ramen quick and easy dinner tonight.  

"Your favorite sir." and she takes a bow and moves her left hand over stomach like she is a noble queen or king. "Thank you Princess, as always." going to sit on her couch. It's big, white, and fluffy. It's one of the most cozy couches I have ever been on. I see why she chose it every time I sit on it.  She sits her ramen on the coffee table, runs to go get us some drinks,sets them on the coasters and plops down on the couch and rubs her hands together like she is evil or something. She always gets so excited for food. Pulling my phone out I need to let Jin know I won't be home. 

Me: Hey sleepin at Vi tonight, got something to tell you tomorrow. 

Jin: You got your meds? Do I need to run them by and put them on your bike? Say you gotta check on something? 

Me: Uhh well beat me to it. I told her and Jin you were right as always. I'm rolling my eyes as we speak. She accepted everything, but there's more I need to tell you. I had my rescue took a xan I needed it don’t  have my main. I'll be home in the morning to take it, not staying out all tomorrow promise. 

Jin: SEE. I. TOLD. YOU. She would accept you and not look at you differently you didn't believe. Give me my ten bucks. Pay up. 

Jin: Also good good but if you need I'll run them by if something changes you know I'm a call away. 

Me: I know thank you Jin and yes I'll give you your ten bucks tomorrow.  Ugh. Night Jin. you and Hobi don't enjoy our apartment too much. 

Putting my phone on the table and grabbing my ramen this girl is already munching and blowing out as she takes more in because she can't wait for it to cool down. "Ahh you burned me noods." 

"Well how about to wait until the noods are colder." 

"Nopes they too good. Nummy." 

I turn on the tv to her favorite show which is of course slice of life anime, fruits basket. 

"Oooo what episode are we watching tonight Yoon?"

"I’ma put on a random one by the looks of it we are now at rewatching it for the tenth time"

I eat on my ramen as she is munching away, laughing at the tv like a kid watching their favorite cartoon. I could never get enough of it. These small mundane things make life seem worth it to me, even with Jin when we cook together or even just lounge watching tv, playing video games, or fishing because he loves it and I don't understand the hype but I do it for him it all makes life seem worth it. Slurping up my last bit of noods. Fuck I'm around her too much huh? She is on the couch still in riding gear knees to her chest intently watching her show after finishing her food. 

I stand up, grab both our bowls, set them in the sink,  go and run her bath and put in her favorite vanilla bubble bath to make sure it's bubbly because "You can't ever have enough bubbles, how am I gonna make a bubble beard." I can picture it now with her pointer finger raised like she is telling me something oh so important, and this woman is a lawyer. Sometimes I can't believe it but I have seen her in the courtroom and she turns it into her own place and makes sure she is known and in charge. She really does have many sides to her and I want them all. 

Walking out of the bathroom she is totally zoned into the show with Tohru and Kyo tension.  I hear a small "Come on tell her to love her." shaking my head and grabbing the remote to turn off and pressing the button and that catches her attention. 

"Yoon! I was about to tell Kyo how he needs to finally confess." 

"Oh yeah? you know what happens. Tell him next time it's time for a Bath after a long day." 

She sighs at me and gets off the couch and starts to run to the tub "you get my clothes?" 

"There on the couch as always" 

I hear a small "Thank yous." As she shuts the door, picking up her house a little bit, she has case papers all over her table, putting them in one stack and collecting all the unopened mail. I see a letter from her dad in jail. I'll have to check on that later, not tonight. She will be in there for while I go grab my clothes,  change in her room. She is used to this routine. I shower in the morning, and her a bubble bath at night. We’re opposites on that. Once I'm all changed I go and lay down on the couch and put on her show. She doesn't need to know I enjoy the show as much as she does.  

I hear the bathroom door lock click. She is done after almost a full episode,  she runs with a towel wrapped in her hair and around her body,  shuts her door to change and once she is done she is running out here with a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her like a cape "Yoon! Did you yell at Kyo for me?" 

"You bet your perfect ass Vi, I did." She smiles and wiggles her head a little bit.  She lays on my chest under my arm that is spread out on the couch. She likes to call it her "Pocket." We lay  here watching tv until she can no longer keep her eyes open and I have to force her to go to bed. It's our routine. I love it. 

After watching three episodes she is slowly closing her eyes on and off.  She is about to crash I can tell. I slowly remove my arm from her and go turn the tv off, walk to her room, open the curtain and window since she said she wanted to sleep with them open. I only allow it since she is on the third floor. If she had a bottom unit it would be staying shut for safety. I walk to the living room and put up our cups in the dishwasher, go to shake her "Hey Vi night night time kays?"

"Mhmm sleep out here." 

"No, the couch hurts your back, remember?" 

"I be finesssss Yoongs" she adds emphasis on the ‘s’ 

I pull the blanket off her and pull her by her arms,  she stands up and leans her head on me. "You're never gonna let me sleep on my couch huh?" 

"Nope you won't let me, I won't let you." 

Making our way to her room, I turn off the light and she plops on her bed, snuggles in her soft sheets. This woman has the softest sheets I have ever felt. No wonder she sleeps so well. "Night night Yoonie." she really is like a child when she is tired I swear she sleep talks. 

I make my way to my side and pull the covers and slide into bed. The moon is casting over us and I look and see the stars. Maybe there is another us swimming around in the ocean exploring everything there is to see, when I'm here about to lose her for a while. I can live knowing another me is with her swimming around. Yeah we're fish.  

"Yoon can we move the pillow tonight please? Are you comfortable without it?"

I never thought I would hear those words come from her. It's been so long since we've been this close takes me back to our Sunday morning cuddles before everything changed, until now. Of course I’m comfortable, hell if I get to hold her maybe my head will shut up for once before bed and I won't just lay in the dark thinking.  

"I'll be more than happy to remove my competitor from all these years, Vi." 

She lets out a laugh. It sounds like heaven, moving the pillow out of my way and right when I do she scoots in, wraps an arm around my waist. I haven't been this close to something sleeping, well in forever. Any of  those one-night stands I left right after and since thenI apologized to the girl. I couldn't explain why fully. My brain doesn't think about other people in those situations. My main goal was relief from my own mind. I haven't done it in years and I plan to never let that side of me cave into that hole again. I hear her take a deep breath "You smell like Yoon."

"Maybe cause’ I'm Yoon."

"No way I'm sleepin with my Yoonie."

"Yeah I'm your Yoonie, he's goin nowhere, get some sleep Vi."

She nods her head “Mhm okays.” tightening around me I could get used to this every night, looking at the night sky from the bed is so calming, hearing her breaths in and out I wonder what she dreams of, am I in it like she is in mine? I feel her leg wrap around me. She is out like a light. It's time for me to sleep, I hear her mumbling. God she is so cute, She really is like a kid. "I hope Yoonie likes me, not mad for leavin." I know she is out of it no use in talking to her about what she just said. Last time she was talking about Torhu and Kyo needing to be together. I just give her a squeeze, shut my eyes. I'm gonna savor this moment because I don't know when the next time I'll hold her like this, there is something so intimate about letting someone into your safe zone not for sex or anything more than just sleeping. It's a special thing. I'm not taking this for granted. "I love you more than you know Violet Rose. I'll always be here waiting for you to come up stream needing more water my little fish."placing a kiss on her head drifting off into the night.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

Previous | coming soon

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

[heroofshield]

Whumpcember Day 6- Nightmares (Mass Effect, Shenko)

"I'll be fine!" Shepard shouts as the Normandy rocks with another explosion. "Go!"

Without waiting for an answer, she shoves Kaidan into the escape pod and slams the hatch closed, locking it and he's stuck on the other side-watching as Shepard's helmet is obscured and then she's gone. Off to save Joker who's buying them as much time as possible.

Sitting heavily in the bucket seat, Kaidan puts his head in his arms and tries to hope that he'll see her again.

But as the Normandy breaks apart and is pulled through the planet's atmosphere, he can't ignore the twisting in his stomach that tells him she didn't make it out in time.

Kaidan jerked awake, feeling the sweat on his chest and neck, how it's soaking his shirt. Heart pounding, it takes him a few minutes to remember where he is- back on Earth. And that Shepard is still gone.

It's been just over two years and the heartache is still fresh, like it was at the memorial ceremony; where those that survived the Normandy being destroyed gathered one last time to say good-bye to the Commander and everyone else who didn't. Even during the somber reception afterwards there were whispers of the Alliance disbanding the "experiment" of the Normandy; they chalked it up to good PR while it lasted but it was time to move on.

Blinking to focus his eyes, Kaidan glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand to see that it was only just past one in the morning. Letting out a sigh, he got up and walked towards the bathroom-squinting against the sudden light as his eyes adjusted. Splashing water on his face, he dried it off and wondered if the pain would ever go away.

"Maybe I should go on that date with Mia before I leave for the colonies." he told himself as he slowly walked back to the bedroom. "If only to say that I was actually moving on."

--

Shepard woke up because something had hit her, opening her eyes she turned on the nightstand light and turned towards Kaidan.

He was having a nightmare.

She'd had enough over the years to recognize the signs; the rapid breathing, the moving around, the contorted expressions.

She also knew that wake him up wouldn't be a good idea and could lead to the not-fun kind of bedroom injuries. So she waited until he woke with a start, placing a soft hand on his shoulder to help ground him. To tell him that he wasn't alone.

"You seem to be having a lot of nightmares." she said, once he'd placed a hand over hers.

Kaidan let out a huff, "I could say the same about you."

Shepard let a ghost of a smile appear, "Some couple we make then." They fell silent for a moment before she broke it, "If the Alliance mandated therapy has taught me anything, it's that it helps to talk about it. If you want to that is."

"Not at, " Kaidan glanced towards the digital clock, "two in the morning. But...maybe when I'm ready."

"I can go with that." Shepard leaned towards Kaidan, resting her head on his shoulder.

Kaidan shifted so that they were snuggled against each other and could feel himself start to calm down and slip back into sleep. Feeling her solid touch reassured him that this was all real and not just another nightmare.

[maggiemaple]

Good bye old state of trash

I waited my time. I sat on my hands. I took the abuse, but now fuck this. This state is dumpster fire and I'm glad I can't cross the boarder anymore. Cut off a tumor that needed removing. Hard to live somewhere full of shit memories of being cheated on over and over, ghosted, stalked, attacked and brutally beaten in every fucking way possible. For what? To be every ones punching bag than fucking tossed into the bin? Fuck off.

I think some other people need to go to therapy more then me.

Only thing I'll miss about the state is a very select few. Everyone else I can't even remember their names. Biggest win is forgetting the filth.

Starla, I love you girl. You are by the far one of the most beautiful, influencing woman I knew next to Ari. You might not have the same fire but you are a boss babe. I wish you all the best.

Polly, I get you now. I get it…I'm sorry you went through the same shit I did. Used and discarded over and over. I wish I let you get closer to me. We could have been good friends and I know you really tried to be there for me. Thank you.

Animal…you are special. Don't let anyone crap on that. Even if everyone seems to vanish on you, know that I will always remember you. I'm sorry I abandon you too…it was never my intentions. You deserve better friends.

Jacen. You deserve better than me. You became one of my best friends and now I'll never see you again. I'll miss you so much and there is a lot unsaid. I'm good at dodging the good talks huh. Please don't get tangled up with another loser bitch. You are not boring. Don't ever listen to any whore who says that to you. Ever. Also be wary of the ones who shove their number at you. I can't be there to gauge if they a ho anymore. YOU deserve an angel to love you. Don't settle for anything less. I know you'll be fine. You're amazing.

Chel I'm sorry about everything that happened. You were my best friend but everything lit on fire when my psycho ex came stalking me into the city. I wish I never let him near you. I really did think he'd treat you good but I'm an idiot always giving my exs the benefit of the doubt. He just wanted to ruin my life and started with my tightest friendship. I might not have been the best friend you deserve but I really tried to always be there on your side. I tried to make the studio into something you loved and wanted to work in. It didn't even matter the cost. I know I fuck up a lot and I'm really sorry. I hope you find your happiness. I love you girl. I hope you got out of the hospital…

HCHC 4 life! I might have had to stay out of crime but I hope my driving those few times kept you all out of the slammer or ditch. Whoever those loons were that loved chasing us got wrecked every time. I'm hard to chase I guess. Thank you for being there for me when everything felt so dark and alone. Keep fishing the big bucks. Stay out of prison.

Goodbye.

[nathank77]

5/18/24

9:25 p.m Edited/Added to

I just got home from the hospital. It was nice seeing her. I spent a couple hours there maybe 3. She was mostly sober cause yea she was on oxy. So we had a regular normal conversation which was really nice. She seemed sober. It was really nice. I could see my mother behind her eyes. Something I don't see ever.

She's thinking about trying to apply for fmla so she can go to rehab. Her idea not mine idk what fmla is lol but paid leave. That's all I know. I made sure to bring it up to her nurse and gave her skyes contact cause of the hours. Bc the case manger could potentially get it approved. She came in the er so drunk. They know the right things to say and now is the time to act..

So hopefully she does that. I won't give my hopes up. Cause I get it she needs to get paid and she also will return to her normal habit if she stays at home. It's sad cause she always thinks about quiting drinking when she's spent a few days away from it at the hospital... like she knows she feels better once she stops withdrawing and is more clear headed but she can't quit at home.. which i mean I do get. There is a reason rehabs exist.

I feel better having seen her. I'll go tomorrow after therapy if she doesn't come home. We could have a really good relationship if she stopped drinking that's the saddest part. I love her so much. I hope they can get it approved and I hope she actually goes. I'll visit her all the time.

But I'll expect her to come home and drink herself to death cause yea. She brought up a time when she was sober cause she was out of work... I low key remember but I think she was still drinking just less so I didn't spend time with her. I was with Katie and thats something I resent about Katie is she made me resent my mother more and stay away from her. It's important to me that my partner takes my mother as she is. I get that if she had kids, she couldn't be around the kids. I get things would be a little different but I expect her to take her as she is. And to talk to her and make eye contact with her. Katie wouldn't even make eye contact with her.

Anyways I'm still stressed about sleep... I'm worried I'll struggle.. but hopefully it was just anxiety about not seeing my mom and all those feelings that came up last night about how she could have died. And the fact that I didn't go to see her...

Idk what to do about Mark. Here are my thoughts:

1) I will respect myself more if I don't go cause he didn't accept me for who I was as a person. And I always put everyone else first and disregard my feelings. This isn't to spite Mark. This is me saying. He didn't mean anything to me and I don't need to see a dead body and people crying and I dont need to say good bye I don't want to talk about the, "good times." My dad looked at mark like he was shit. They didn't talk. Of course it's his brother but I mean why do I have to go for you? When he didn't respect my identity? My entire being? Who I am as a person?

I'm not trying to spite anyone. I feel bad he died. I feel bad for him-how he died. And for his family for my father. For everyone who loved him..but I respect myself too much to pretend he meant anything to me beyond I care that another human being suffered...

But then I will put a wall between me and my father.. bc he doesn't want to understand that for one mental pictures are a thing. Negativity is a thing. I need to be in healthy situations. And only deal with something like death if someone I truly care about is dying...

Beyond that it's my identity. Not the fact that I don't work or idk that I'm fiscally liberal or something.

2) I will likely respect myself equally if I go bc- it's the right thing to do for my father. But only for him. It's not the right thing to do for me.

I always put everyone else first. All the time constantly... and for once I don't want to but I don't want to build a wall between me and my father.

So idk what to do cause it's only the right thing for my father not for me.

That's the thing about the right thing.. the right thing isn't always obvious...

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are same."- The Fray All At Once.

The hardest thing and the right thing are the same in this case, putting myself first but it will effect me and my father's relationship.

So idk. All I know is the right thing for me is to not go. The right thing for my father is to go.

I reference that song for a reason bc of that quote. The fray is one of my favorite bands of all time and that qoute struck me when I was a teenager. And it applies to this.

The song below is really important to me:

"Looking for something I've never seen

Alone and I'm in between

The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in

A city I never been

I found a friend or should I say a foe

Said there's a few things you should know

We don't want you to see we come and we go

Here today, gone tomorrow

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand

If I say who I know it just goes to show

You need me less than I need you

Take it from me we don't give sympathy

You can trust me trust nobody

But I said you and me we don't have honesty

The things we don't want to speak

I'll try to get out but I never will

Traffic is perfectly still

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand

And then again maybe you don't

And then again maybe you won't

We're only taking turns

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand"

[bcckwcrm-blog]

Y'ALL WANNA HEAR AN ANGSTY ASS AU

HOW ABOUT AN AU WHERE BOTH RUMPLE AND GIDEON ARE DEAD AND BELLE HAS TO LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT WHENEVER SHE COMES HOME AND SHE EXPECTS TO HEAR TINY FOOTSTEPS RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY SHE KNOWS IT WON'T HAPPEN

BONUS IF SHE TRIES TO CALL FOR RUMPLE ONLY TO REALIZE HE'S DEAD AND SHE JUST ,,, KINDA BREAKS DOWN WHILE TRYING TO RUN THE PAWNSHOP

[dolcetters]

@yinseal:  u ever think about dol and rose holding hands for the first time

cripes you mean like 

like the idea of them even holding hands at all makes me so happy because imagining them walking around the liore market holding hands because he’s not only okay with the contact but now he’s like... COMFORTED by it because it’s HER and she’s also got that security and it’s just soft and a nORmAL DAY walking through the market holding hands and they both feel SAFE and they’re HAPPY and laughing and rose sees something that makes her excited and while she’s pointing it out dol’s just basking in her sincerity and joy and for once he doesn’t want to let go of her hand and nkfjkdhg kj lhgsigj gjsuifkh jugdos

SHE’S SO GENUINELY HAPPY AND HOW HER EYES LIGHT UP AND THE LIFE AND ENERGY IN HER VOICE AND THE FEELING OF THE AIR AROUND HER AND THE WAY SHE SMILES AT HIM AFTERWARD--HE JUUUUUUST

[aoibejitto]

[skellebonez]

Who Do I Go To? (Monkie Kid Fanfic)

I totally did not accidentally post this early before I edited it or added everything from my wip file... no... but anon, you gave me so much FREEDOM with this that I just went absolutely off the rails. This is not only set in a post S3 scenario where everyone survives and most of the villains have some kind of at least semi-redemption (except LBD, rip), this does feature a crackship or two of mine (you can read the tags to see the ships before you read)! Sun Wukong also has all of his immortality and some of his powers, I am writing this with the idea that he transferred most of them to MK and some of that was permanent once LBD was defeated and MK got his own back.

So... what if Sun Wukong did start communicating with the others in S3... but still has been bottling up his emotions about the past for so long he doesn’t feel he can talk to anyone because of their shared experiences? And what happens when that guilt and grief finally has someone willing to listen?

“What are you doing here, Si-SUN Wukong?” The Demon Bull King asked slowly, stumbling over his usual insult for the one once so close to him. They still weren’t close, and it was doubtful they would ever be as long as the sworn brothers they once were, but they were no longer at each other’s throats anymore.

That didn’t change how bizarre it was to see The Great Sage Equal To Heaven just... sitting outside his new home with no warning.

“DBK!” Wukong exclaimed, more startled than the larger demon was expecting as he jumped up and turned and if he didn’t look like he’d been hit with a truck metaphorically DBK didn’t know how to describe the way his fur stood on end and the redness in the other’s eyes. “I. UH. Was. Just stopping by to say hi!”

“No you weren’t,” DBK said, face falling into a deadpan glower. “You don’t do that. Even after 500 years I know you don’t.”

“I can start!” Wukong defended, crossing his arms and looking away with a wide teeth showing smile.

Too wide.

Even after everything that happened between them, from Red Boy to what happened when he needed his wife’s fan to sealing him in the mountain and everything that transpired with the Little Thief, he recognized that unhappy nervous smile.

“You can,” DBK said with a nod, gesturing to the smaller being. “You can also be here for a reason. Like what I heard you muttering to yourself behind the door.”

“And that’s my cue to leave!” The Monkey King announced as he turned to walk away before a large hand, with shocking gentleness for the one attached to it, wrapped around his shoulders.

“If you need to talk-”

“No, haha, I most certainly have no need for that!”

“-you know we’ve already made peace. I-”

“You don’t need to do anything,” Wukong insisted, struggling only a little before freeing himself from the other’s grip with an even wider nervous smile.

“-am willing to listen.”

“Don’t have to!”

“Are you at least talking to anyone?”

Neither of them said anything, The Demon Bull King staring down at The Monkey King with both frustrated annoyance and genuine concern in his expression.

The former he could deal with, but the later was so new again that...

Sun Wukong panicked.

“.... OKEY BYE!” He yelled, jumping and allowing his cloud to catch him and take him off.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM YOUR FEELINGS FOREVER SUN WUKONG!"

"I HID FROM THE WORLD FOR 500 YEARS AND I TURNED OUT JUST FINE, I THINK I'LL MANAGE!"

“He turned out fine, he says,” Princess Iron Fan called from behind her husband as she emerged from their home. “So fine that it took him losing his invincibility and his successor nearly being killed for him to admit he needed help.”

DBK grunted, nodding in agreement at her words.

“He needs more, still, my dear. Even I can see that.”

“Let’s call in some reinforcements then, darling. I think there are two people who may be able to get through to him.”

~

Sun Wukong sat on the beach of Mount Huaguo’s island home, clearly trying not to think about what had just transpired.

“Hey.”

“How did you even know to look for me here?” Sun Wukong asked, not nearly as startled this time. He’d heard the footsteps coming for a long time, the other apparently wanting to make his presence known.

“Bull King called Pigsy’s asking for MK. MK called me since he’s working. I remembered where you like to sulk. Hence: I’m here.”

Wukong groaned, wrapping his arms around his knees and burying his face in them. “I shouldn’t have even left the house today.”

“But you left,” Macaque said with a shrug, watching the other stew in his frustration at himself. “And you went to see DBK... and I guess Princess Iron Fan too? But you ran off. Why?”

“I can’t check up on an old friend turned enemy turned less enemy to ‘not exactly friend but we’re not trying to kill each other’ without being questioned?” Wukong grumbled into his arms.

“Not when you make him sound as worried as he did when he talked to MK,” Macaque continued, voice becoming more tense. “You didn’t go to apologize or explain anything, I was there when all that went down. So... did you finally go to talk about everything e-”

“No.” The word was said with such coldness that Macaque knew it was put on. It wasn’t out of malice but something else, something more worried and fearful. “No. I can’t talk to him about... I told him everything that explained what happened. I apologized. I don’t need to talk more.”

"I don't understand why you're so opposed to to just talking about, you know... how you’re doing," Macaque said with a concerned frown. It almost felt odd on his face. Almost. He was still getting used to the whole "not being mortal eternal enemies and now being friends and kinda sorta caring about each other again" thing. "I know it's been centuries and all and you're out of practice but like... it's been centuries."

"I just... can't, Macaque," Wukong rebutted as he refused to lift his head from his arms. "I just can't."

"Why?"

"Don't."

The single word stayed in their air between them, heavy and hard and meaning more than the immortal would ever admit to.

"Come on, there has to be a reason," Macaque insisted as he sat down beside the other immortal. When no response came he sighed, tail flicking absently and flipping over some of the rocks on the beach as they sat in silence for few minutes. "You know... I started talking to someone."

"What?" Wukong turned his head, just enough to look at the other monkey from the corner of his eye.

“Sandy’s a good listener,” Macaque continued, falling back down to lay flat on his back and gaze up at the clouds. He remembered that Wukong felt better, sometimes, when you looked away when talked to. Didn’t know why, but he remembered. “Not exactly the kind of therapy he thinks I need, but he lends me his cats and he lets me talk and sometimes asks if I want advice. Sometimes I say yes, but when I say no he understands. Sometimes I just want to rant at that one little one eyed cat he has and she listened to... I think. She’s a cat so I wouldn’t know. He thinks I should see someone more experienced, an expert. Maybe he’s right, I dunno, but this helps enough for now.

“... who are you and what have you done with the Six-Eared Macaque?” Wukong asked with a soft glower, one that was clearly in jest from the tiny smile the other could see.

“Same Macaque,” the other said with a laugh, sitting back up with a theatrical flourish. “Just realized that talking to someone isn’t as dumb or useless as I made it out to be in my head. A lot of the stuff I thought about alone wasn’t exactly the best. Or healthiest. But now I can get that out there and sometimes it makes Sandy look like he ate a whole lime which probably means it’s good it’s not in my head anymore.”

“You ramble a lot,” Wukong said with a chuckle, tail swishing softly beside him before nudging against Macaque’s. He tensed before it slowly wrapped around the other’s. “It feels odd, having you try to cheer me up again after... everything.”

“Bad odd or good odd?”

“Good.”

“That’s.... good,” Macaque said, squeezing Wukong’s tail with his own. “Feels odd for me too. Like I’m out of practice too. But it’s good odd...” The two sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company before he continued. “I do think you should talk to someone. Anyone.”

“I don’t know who, though. Every time I try I just... clam up and run away. I’ve put so much on MK already,” Wukong said, tail squeezing around Macaque’s loosely in return. “And Pigsy and Sandy... After all that came out, that Sandy is Sha Wujing and Pigsy is Zhu Bajie’s reincarnation... I just... I can’t talk to them either, even though Pigsy doesn’t remember anything at all. And you... DBK... everyone... who do I go to that knows enough about me to know what they’re in for but I won’t have those memories floating around in the back of my head toward making me run away?”

“Well, you could have Sandy help you get a therapist. Prepare them in advance. Or, if you’re not ready for that, you could talk to Tang?” Macaque suggested with a shrug. “He listens to me when I’m not talking to Sandy... but that’s probably because we’re dating, that’s what it is now instead of courting, right? So he kinda has to I think? Pigsy and MK talk to him too but with me I think it’s different.”

"I don't think that's how it works," Wukong said with a half hearted chuckle as he finally raised his head all the way. "Besides, I've known Tang longer."

"By like 3 months."

"3 months more is still enough to know that if he doesn't want to listen to you he won't. The man knows how to make a speedy exit."

"Guess that's one more thing that sets him apart from his great-great-great-great-great-whatever uncle," Macaque admitted with a shrug and a chuckle of his own. He squeezed his tail around Wukong's, smile softening when he felt it being returned.

“Feels... weird though,” Wukong said with a shrug. “The two of them looking so much alike.”

“Yeah, but that’s it,” Macaque rebutted. “He’s Tang Sanzang’s great-whatever nephew 5 times removed or whatever and he looks like him. Other than that? He knows pretty much all of your history. He’s mostly out of the hero worship zone but he still respects you a lot. Aside from everything that happened with LBD and MK you two have the least history out of everyone so maybe whatever’s in your head making you clam up might not stop you. And it couldn't hurt to try. It’s not therapy, it’s just talking about something that’s bothering you. Worst that can happen is you get nervous and fumble and he takes the opportunity to ask you 40 questions about the times you were almost incinerated by a baby."

"That was one time!"

~

“Uh,” Tang started, staring out the open door with wide eyes at the being before him. “Hi. I didn’t exactly expect to you see today.”

“I didn’t exactly expect to be here today,” Wukong said awkwardly, nervous smile taking over his face as his tone became far too jovial for what he was about to ask. “Macaque sent me to... talk to you. About me?” His smile drooped bit by bit as he said these words, slowly starting to lose his determination to go through with this. “Oh second thought, maybe I should-”

"No," Tang said, reaching out to put a hand on the immortal's shoulder. It was nothing, really, not to someone as strong as he was. Not when he could brush it off and walk away. Go home. Just sit on his couch and watch Monkey King The Animated Series again and just think about how no one deserved to be saddled with his problems anymore. But Wukong didn't. "Whatever it is, we’re going to talk about this now. I know I’m not trained like Sandy is, but I know how to listen. And if you need someone to listen to you, I can. You wouldn't have come here to talk if you didn't."

“... ok...” Sun Wukong said, letting Tang wrap his arm around his back and guide him inside his shared home with Pigsy and Macaque.

It was... odd. Being inside this place for the first time. He’d been outside of the door more than once, invited in as well. But never inside.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Tang said, stopping his guidance once they reached the sofa. “I’m no Sandy, but I was making myself some tea and it is a batch of his own anyway. I’ll grab us some snacks too.”

“Snacks would be great,” Wukong admitted, watching the other disappear into the house’s kitchen before he sighed and gripped his thrashing tail and muttered to himself. “What am I doing..? I shouldn’t put all this on Tang... I should have gone with Macaque’s first suggestion, I’m-”

“Do you prefer lychee or persimmon?” Tang asked suddenly, startling the immortal for the second time that day. “We’re out of peach bao, but MK’s been making them out of lots of fruits and we have so many that I was planning on eating them myself.”

The scholar returned, faster than expected, with a full tray in hand. Teapot, two tea cups, and a steamer box that presumably held the buns he was asking about.

“Uh... persimmon,” Wukong answered, and he watched as Tang poured each of them a cup of tea and removed some clearly fresh (or at least made some time earlier in the day and freshly steamed), pieces of fruit laden bao to put on a plate for his guest before taking a seat in a chair across from him. “You were... getting lunch?”

Tang shrugged, laughing as he took a bite of one of his own. “Just wanted a snack. But,” He smiled, gesturing to the Monkey King. “We’re not here to talk about snacks. What’s on your mind?”

“Awfully forward start.”

“I try to be forward with the people I consider my friends.”

“... You consider me... a friend?” Wukong asked slowly, turning the bao over in his hands. It was well made, perfect he would say. You’d think MK would have been making them all his life, not that he’d learned how to on the drone ship while on the run from an evil super demon bent on erasing his mentor from the world.

“After everything we went through, how could I not?” Tang said, putting his food down to sip his tea and then putting that down as well and looking at him seriously. “You’re here because it’s the anniversary of the day you sealed away the Demon Bull King, aren’t you?”

The bao in his hands wasn’t perfect anymore. Instead the red lychee inside dripped from his claws from where they punctured it in surprise.

“How did you-?”

“My specialty study is your history after all,” Tang said, smile returning with a sad tint. “I’ve known the date for years but I felt it was something to keep to myself. For some reason. Now with you and DBK back I think that was a good choice. It feels too personal to have out in the open for everyone to make a spectacle of.”

“Is it selfish of me to be thankful for that?” Wukong muttered, gently placing the bao on the plate to lick his claws clean.

“I don’t think so,” Tang answered.

“I feel selfish though,” he continued, not managing to take note of how Tang sat up straighter and turned more toward him. “I went to DBK’s to... I don’t know. I wanted to apologize again? But I already did and he accepted it and it feels selfish to want to again. Then I just. I froze.”

“Why?” Tang asked, scooting closer.

“It felt wrong.”

“Because you would make him feel awkward?”

“NO!” Wukong groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I just. I feel...” He took in a shaky breath, claws digging into his skin slightly.

“Don’t,” Tang’s voice came soft and closer than Wukong expected, as did the hands on his own slowly pulling his claws away from his face. “Don’t hurt yourself. And don’t bottle it up. I’ll listen to you. No matter what it is. It’s not selfish, feeling things isn’t selfish.”

“I miss it,” Wukong breathed out, shaky and choppy as his throat tightened as the words started to pour out of him. “I miss him. How things used to be between us and Iron Fan. I miss that I never got to meet Red Son when he was Red Boy. I miss Beng and Ba and Ma and Liu and how things used to be. I miss Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing even though they’re here. I miss my Tang Sanzang. I’d been alone for 500 years and I missed so much and I did that to myself and it’s selfish to miss like that...”

He didn’t realize his cheeks were wet until his hands had been let go and one of Tang’s rubbed a cloth against them. Tang cupped his cheeks softly before wrapping his arms around him and tucking the Monkey King’s head into the space between his neck and shoulder.

“No... no it’s not. You’re allowed to miss things, Sun Wukong. Just like anyone else.”

Sun Wukong started to feel better.

He didn’t know why that was what did it, but the dam broke. It broke and his tears came pouring out as he hugged the man who reminded him so much of his Master. He didn’t know if anything he said in the mean time made any sense, if he was just blubbering and finally letting himself mourn what he’d lost and never had, but Tang didn’t ever chastise him. He let him weep and hold him and for the first time in years...

~

“Oh!” Princess Iron Fan startled as she opened the door to see who had knocked, finding herself face to face at sunset with one Great Sage. “You’ve returned.”

“Are you and DBK free?” Sun Wukong asked, smile no longer too wide. “I... kinda just wanna talk with you for a bit.”

“Well... I think that would be lovely.”

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 8/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Oof! After this part, we have one more chapter. Things start to look a little bit better for Brie in this part of the story. Not completely, but she's getting there. Enjoy!

TW for this chapter: mental health mentions

2020

A week later, still no change on the Ed Sheeran thing. Launch day was just around the corner, and my nerves were wrecked. And Jujubee still hadn't spoken a word to me.

It was only morning time, and I hadn't even been awake for 5 minutes. Already so many things were playing in my mind.

I still hadn't reinstalled Messenger. So I had no idea whether Blair had replied or not. I really wanted to just forget about her already, but it was slow. I probably should have applied for counselling sessions with HR. I hired a lady a few years prior named Dela, and apparently, she was brilliant.

But therapy could wait until after the launch.

I had seen Jujubee at work a few more times, either making eye contact and looking away just as quick or trying to say hello at least. She'd just brush by.

I tried texting her but never received a reply. As much as she had pissed me off, I missed her. A lot.

"Hey, this is Jujubee. Leave a message."

Beep.

"Hey, Juju, it's me." I paused, struggling to figure out where to go from there, "Look, I...I know things are bad between you and me. But I...I don't want to lose you."

I couldn't think of what else to say.

'Please, talk to me?'

'You mean a lot to me.'

My silence was going on too long. "I...hope to see you at the prelaunch party...OK. Bye"

I hung up, burying my face in my pillow, feeling very pathetic. And because I was impatient, I thought to try reinstalling Messenger and try there.

Or was that too much? And did I really want to risk seeing a reply from a certain someone?

...Fuck it, I was doing it. I'd just ignore her. Yeah, I'd do that.

Blair: Wow. I didn't think…

I never clicked a message quicker. I sat up with my back against the headboard, eyes already reading the message.

Blair: Wow. I didn't think you'd actually reply! For sure, girl, we need to hang out! I'm in New York for two weeks anyway. Perfect timing, right? Give me a call as soon as you get this. TTYL.

"Oh my God." I let the phone slip into my lap. How was this real? How the fuck hadn't she found that message creepy? Were things starting to look up? I couldn't just leave her on read. It was sent last week, meaning she was still in New York.

Good. This was good.

But still, why didn't she address the confession to my feelings? Why was she avoiding the subject?

Sorry, you have to hear my innermost thoughts, all these questions. It just goes to show the whirlwind my head was experiencing.

Make a move, Brie.

My thumb hovered over the phone icon in the upper right corner. Do I just...do it?

Yes.

I clicked the button. It rang for a few seconds, the nerves telling me to just give up.

"Hello?"

Why the fuck do the people on the other end always say 'hello' like they didn't see who is calling them?

Why was I even thinking that?? Focus, Brie.

"Hi," I said.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd call." She sounded surprised.

"I'm sorry I keep doing this," I said too quickly. "Anyway, yes. Let's hang out."

There was a moment of silence, and I realised how panicked I sounded.

"Brianna, are you OK?" I heard the concern.

"What? Yeah! Of course, I am." I cleared my throat, "Just a bit...stressed out. Trying to...deal with this launch thingie and...deal with Ed Sheeran, I don't know," I laughed nervously before almost slapping some sense into myself, "I'm not majorly stressed out, though. I can still hang out."

She laughed. And fuck I realised just how much I missed it.

"You always made me laugh. You wanna grab a coffee?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great! When are you free? I would say today, but I'm stuck with this thingie…" She replied.

And a thought hit me. "Actually... there's gonna be a party for my thing. It's for that project I told you about...back on Prom night, I don't know if you remember."

"Of course I do, Brie. I've been following all the media coverage. It's pretty awesome."

"You have been?" I sounded a little too excited and then reminded myself to not sound too desperate, "I mean, that's pretty cool. But yeah, there's a party the night before the launch. I could add you to the list."

"Yeah, of course! I'd love to come."

"Fantastic. I'll send you the details."

"Well, I'll leave you to it then."

"Thanks."

"I can't wait."

"Me too."

"Bye, Brianna."

"Bye, Blair."

She did the awkward half-spoken "bye, bye, bye," and hung up.

I threw my phone down onto my duvet and puffed out a breath of air.

"Yes!" I punched the air, "Yes. Fucking yes."

Shit was definitely looking up.

I found myself loading up my emails. "Dear Ed Sheeran, I appreciate your enthusiasm about participating in our project. However, after some thinking, we would love for you to perform at the event instead. This is strictly for your safety and the safety of everyone else. Sorry for the inconvenience. Kindest regards, Brianna Caldwell and team."

Sent. Easier than I thought.

No matter what the reply would be, I felt strong. Two problems down in less than ten minutes.

All that was left was Jujubee and Mom.

Fuck...the Mom problem.

It wasn't that I didn't love her. I adored the woman with all my heart. But I was still afraid of that recurring conversation, the memories of how I was a problem child. And if it wasn't that, it was my Grandpa.

Funny how those were always the recurring topics, things I didn't want to address. And now, on top of things, we were going to have to talk about Piggie's health.

I sent her money for his medical bills, so maybe things were different for him.

But still, the other topics of conversation I just wish we could avoid…If only there was something else to talk about...

Wait.

I stared at my phone and instantly became very still.

There was one subject that had gone unaddressed for so long - too long. Oh, God.

Half an hour later, I was in the kitchen, shaky hands pouring a cup of coffee. I couldn't call Mom immediately. I needed to will myself, build up my willpower.

After two cups, I found Mom's name in my phone book, hesitated to hit call but forced myself.

I breathed deeply, taking a seat at the breakfast counter and put the phone to my ear.

Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring…

She answered but was silent.

"Mom?" I spoke.

"Hey, honey." She sounded deflated.

"Did you get the money?" That was all I could think of to start with.

"Yeah. It's actually really helped. He's already showing improvement." She paused. "Thanks, baby."

It was painful how thankful she sounded, yet so miserable.

"Mom, I'm gonna come see you," I confirmed.

"Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled upon hearing how she lightened up. "I'm sorry about last week. My phone just...cut off, I guess."

I heard a sniff before she spoke again, "It's OK. When are you coming around?"

"Well, I got the launch this week, so maybe not now. How about 2 weeks?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. I have a job interview to prepare for anyway. I applied to this new boutique that opened in town. My interview is next week."

"That's great!" I was actually excited for her. Things weren't just looking up for me, it seemed. "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah, me too. I'm not even nervous. Just ready to start working again. Anyway, how about you?"

"Actually, Mom…" I paused, squeezing my hand into a tight fist.

"What's wrong, Brianna?" She lowered her tone.

How did she know? I didn't even sound sad. Mothers intuition? Because I always thought that was bullshit. Like, if I was a Mom, I'd be the worst in picking up on things.

"You there?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, I just…" I licked my lips and swallowed. "Mom. Why was I adopted?" I sighed. "Why did they give me up, Mom?"

She was silent for a moment. I could practically feel how she turned cold. "It's time, isn't it?"

I nodded, not that she would see, "Yeah. I...I need to know."

"OK...How about we talk about that when you come here?" She asked.

"No. I...wanna know. I need to know." My voice cracked. "Or I won't be able to move on."

She's silent again…just for a moment. And I felt like I crossed a line.

But she spoke. I hadn't crossed any line.

"OK...Brianna? I just want you to know that I love you, and I always will. No matter what, I'll never stop loving you." Her own voice was cracking now. "When you came into my life, I never realised I could be so happy, how I felt when I met you. You were this...little light that brightened the dark...a reminder that life wasn't so bad. And I promised I'd give you the best life. I'd be the best parent you'd ever have." She paused again. And I knew she was crying. "Brie, it wasn't that your parents didn't want you. I'm sure they knew that they would have been the luckiest parents in the world." She was crying. "Brie. They...they went for a drive one night. And it was raining really bad. And they…"

She was silent. But I nodded slowly, my eyes just staring at the counter, glassy with tears. "I-I understand."

"I'm sorry, baby." She whimpered. "I should have told you this years ago. I...I didn't know it would affect you for this long. I'm such an idiot."

I held my forehead in my hand. "No. No, Mom. You're not. You had no idea." I sniffed.

"I know. I know. But I just...I...How do you tell a child something like that?"

"Don't worry about that, you idiot. I know now." One of the tears finally slid down my cheek. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Brianna."

I smiled, wiping the tear away. And then a quiet laugh escaped. "OK, I can't lie. I don't wanna leave you like this right now. Let's talk some shit or something."

She laughed in return. "God, you and your potty mouth."

[nexttrickanvils]

GOOD BYE EVERYONE, I'LL REMEMBER YOU ALL AT THERAPY!

BTW spoiler tag will be P5S Spoilers.

[bumblesimagines]

Sick

Part 5

Request: Yes or No

If anyone with schizophrenia feels offended or wants to inform me on it, please feel free to message me and I'll fix whatever needs to be fixed. Please remember that I don't have schizophrenia so I can only learn from the people who do. Also, please be mindful of the fact that I'm not saying all wards are bad, some are good while others aren't, it really depends on you and how you view your experience.

(Y/N) stepped out of his house, saying bye to Kurtz. He heard a beep and turned his head, looking at Malachai's precious car.

"I'll drive you." He called. (Y/N) sighed, approaching the car and getting in.

"People are gonna think that we're dating." (Y/N) mumbled.

"So? We already have a son together. How is he?" Malachai grinned, glancing at him as he drove off.

"Kurtz is fine. Really clingy.."

"He gets that from me." Malachai chuckled as (Y/N) rolled his eyes.

"I can see that now." (Y/N) glanced out the window.

"Don't you have gang leader stuff to do?" He asked.

"What? I can't spend time with my favourite Northsider?" Malachai cocked a brow. (Y/N) chose not to respond. He unbuckled his seatbelt once they got to the school and (Y/N) got out.

"Have a nice day, sweetie!" Malachai called, using a feminine voice. (Y/N) flipped him off, closing the door. He heard Malachai crack up. He noticed some Serpents watching him with surprise and curiosity. (Y/N) ignored them, heading inside. The bell rang soon after and (Y/N) entered his first period. He sat down, waiting for class to start.

"How do you know Malachai?" (Y/N) blinked, looking at Fangs.

"What?"

"How do you know Malachai?" Fangs repeated. (Y/N) shrugged.

"He's my friend." He mumbled. Fangs raised his brows.

"With a gang leader? He's an adult!"

"I'm 18." (Y/N) informed, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like that. We're friends." Fangs frowned, sighing softly.

"Just... Be careful." Fangs took out his notebook as the teacher stood.

"So, how was everyone's weekend?" Betty asked, earning some simple responses like 'fine' or 'good'.

"Probably not as interesting as (Y/N)s.." Sweet Pea said. Toni and Fangs shot him a look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Archie asked.

"Is there a problem here, Sweet Pea?" Reggie asked afterwards. Sweet Pea glared at them both and an argument broke out. (Y/N) glanced at the students who were neither Serpents or friends with the Scoody Doo gang. They awkwardly watched the agrument. (Y/N) pinched the bridge of his nose as the voices decided to join in on the argument. He was starting to get annoyed.

"Can you shut up?" He mumbled. They clearly didn't hear him. (Y/N) grunted and cleared his throat.

"Shut the fuck up!" The argument abruptly ended.

"And sit down." (Y/N) huffed. The ones who were standing quickly sat.

"What the fuck is your problem?" (Y/N) asked, looking at Sweet Pea.

"You were hanging out with Malachai of all people. He's the Ghoulie King!"

"And Jughead's the Serpent King but you don't see Kevin complaining about Archie being friends with him." (Y/N) said, motioning to the three boys.

"He's dangerous, (N/N)." Veronica piped up.

"We're all a little dangerous." (Y/N) replied. Everyone in the room had been deemed dangerous at one point whether because of their illness, social status, or a family member was a psycho.

"I get why your mad... The Ghoulies are your arch enemies and the villains in your story but do you need to be reminded that you were once the villains here at Riverdale High?" (Y/N) crossed his arms. Sweet Pea frowned, glancing at the other Serpents. The room became silent. Maybe they were a little judgy. (Y/N) looked at his phone.

'I'm outside, Sweetie'

He rolled his eyes at Malachai's text. He stood up.

"My ride's here." He informed before leaving the classroom and walking down the hall. He heard the squeaking of sneakers and turned his head, looking at Jughead. (Y/N) didn't say anything as he stepped outside with him and walked over to Malachai.

"Hi honey, how was school?" Malachai cooed playfully. (Y/N) gently shoved him and got into the car. He heard the word 'truce' before spacing out. (Y/N) wondered what the group were saying about him.

'They all hate you.'

"No, they don't." (Y/N) mumbled. Betty didn't hate him and Fangs seemed to care about him. Malachai got into the car and gave a small smile before driving away from the school.

"So? What'd you talk about?" (Y/N) asked.

"Oh, nothing sweetie. You just really need to get those grades up in Math. Other than-" (Y/N) gently punched his arm. Malachai chuckled.

"He wants a truce and you are the centerpiece." (Y/N) furrowed his brows.

"Centerpiece?"

"Nobody can hurt you. If anyone from either of our gang does, the truce will be over.. And if anyone outside of the gangs does... We might kill them." Malachai explained. (Y/N) blinked. Him? Him?

"Why? Couldn't.... Betty or Fangs be the centerpiece?"

"I don't give a shit about the blonde bitch and the other kid." Malachai replied, amused. (Y/N) stared at him.

"You care about me?"

"Obviously." Malachai glanced at him. (Y/N) hummed, looking forward.

"I care about you too." He mumbled. If only he knew how happy that made the curly haired male beside him. (Y/N) got out of the car once Malachai pulled up to his house. He said a quick bye and headed onto the porch, grabbing the door handle only to reel back when it shocked him.

(Y/N) glared up at the spinning lights. He mind was a mess and the voices slurred. (Y/N) looked at the doctor when he appeared in his view. A look of distaste passed over the doctors face. (Y/N) screamed into the gag when he felt the electricity go through him. He hated that they still used that kind of therapy. (Y/N) felt a headache set in and let out a muffled whimper.

(Y/N) blinked, staring at the handle. He heard Malachai's distant voice as his heart sped up. What else happened at the psych ward? Why couldn't he remember? Did the shock therapy give him amnesia? (Y/N) felt arms wrap around him, keeping him up when his legs gave out.

"N)? (Y/N)!" Malachai snapped his fingers in front of his face. (Y/N) felt hot tears streaming down his face.

"I can't remember.." He whispered.

"Can't remember what?" Malachai asked.

"The psych ward... They..." Thinking about it gave him a headache. Remembering the shock therapy left a bad taste in his mouth.

"They used shock therapy.. I didn't need it... At least, I think I didn't need it.. I don't... I can't remember."

(Y/N) watched the painting, wondering if it was moving or not. He often forgot where he was but the pain in his jaw and his mushed up mess of a brain reminded him that he was in hell. (Y/N) raised his arm, staring at the scars. He furrowed his brows. How did he- Oh. Right. (Y/N) sighed. He was getting worse. (Y/N) looked at the nurse and doctor when they entered, the shadows growing and grinning.

'They're gonna kill you.' The voices laughed. (Y/N) let out a shakey breath.

(Y/N) looked around, suddenly finding himself on the couch. Kurtz mewed at him, concerned. Malachai rubbed gentle circles on his back, gaze hard and unreadable. (Y/N) gently picked up Kurtz, cuddling into the warmth that the kitten gave him. (Y/N) wanted to remember but his mind was blank. No thoughts, no voices, no feelings. Just blank. He hated it.

[pasteljooonie]

Infatuation | Yoongi

Description; Agust D was a world know rapper. Yoongi, was a brat that had too much money to handle. When he and his manager run into trouble, he realizes the attitude that comes out when around her is jealously, because he couldn’t have her.

Warning; Cussing, Mature, Blood Mentions, Fighting

Smut Warning; Rough sex, Biting, Multiple Orgasms, Fingering, Body Appreciation, Unprotected Sex.

Genre; Angst | Smut | AU

Pairing; Yoongi x Reader | Namjoon x Jin

Word Count; 6.7k

"And that's a wrap for tonight! Take it on home, and get some sleep, we have to be back at seven am sharp, anyone late will be fired, that's a promise! Now get your asses home." You sighed, watching the crew begin to disperse, all sharing collective sighs of relief. You were shooting Yoongi's newest music video, and were finally calling a night at two am, thankful there was little needed to be put away, as the rest could remain out for tomorrow's shoot, and what did need to be storaged was being handled by the interns, and they were already nearly done. "Wow it almost seems like you don't want to be here, how shocking." You mocked, walking up to Yoongi as his assistant handed him a water bottle. "Wow it almost seems like you don't have anything productive to say, how shocking." He fired back, making you hit him with your clipboard. "I'm sorry, what would you like me to say? You did great today, you weren't a dick to all the interns, you were cooperative with the crew, you didn't throw more than four tantrums, congrats." You scoffed, making him roll his eyes in response. You were a manager, working under BigHit, and specifically assigned to Yoongi. He had a history of not getting along with his managers, and you were hired to keep him in check, and help him as he toured, produced music, and made music videos. "If you're going to be August D, you need to be productive." You spoke up again. "Stop showing up late and covered in hickeys, stop acting like a frat boy, and screw your head on straight. I'm not going to keep cleaning up your messes when you're too hungover to clean them up yourself. I'm not an assistant, I'm a manager. I don't assist, I manage, and that means sending your ass home, and going to bed, since you need to be awake and back here, in five hours. Otherwise, this album isn't happening, and you can kiss your next tour goodbye." You snapped, making him glare at you. "암캐" he muttered under his breath, making you roll your eyes. "Now go." You snapped, watching him storm away as you sighed, rubbing your temples irritably, before turning away. Making sure everyone was gone, before leaving yourself. 

"God he's so obnoxious. They warned me of what I would have to deal with, but god sometimes I just want to punch him in the face." You sighed, laying next to your two closest friends, both of them nodding in agreement. "From what we've heard, only the twelve thousand times you rant about him, sounds like it." Jin said, making you sigh. "He's just a bratty rich kid." You groaned. "And I'm working these hellish hours, not getting any sleep at all, and he's out partying and making me clean him up when he stumbles in drunk again." You huffed. "Well you probably don't get any sleep because you spend the 4 hours you have sitting on your bed complaining to us." Tae said, making you sigh again. "I know, but this is the only therapy I have, so I don't care." You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes, before sighing again. "Besides, tomorrow is the last day of shooting, it'll only be a six hour day, then I can stay away from him for the next week while they edit and finish it, after that it's just choreo, so I just sit and watch during those sessions." You explained. "Sounds like a babysitter." Jin said, making you shrug. "Then I'm his babysitter. I don't care anymore, as soon as this tour starts everything will be fine. He's just being more of a pain in my ass than usual and I have no idea why." You mumbled, rubbing your eyes softly as you glanced at the clock beside your bed, it was still only three, you could get at least two hours of sleep if you kicked the boys out of your room soon. "Maybe he's on his period." Tae said, making you smack him as Jin laughed, "yeah maybe." You sighed, unable to hide the yawn that escaped your lips. Tae rubbed your back softly before moving to the edge of the bed and forcing you to lay down. "Get some rest, you clearly need it." Jin said softly, you waved your hand at him, but felt sleep nearly pull you under the second your head hit the pillows. "I don't know what I would do without you guys." You whispered, yawning again as you let your eyes close, feeling the bed move as they both got up, and Jin patted your leg softly. "Probably die."

Your sleep was too short, and it was too cold as your alarm woke you up. You groaned in annoyance as you turned it off, resisting the urge to throw your phone at the wall. Groaning again, you sat up slowly, setting your phone down as you grabbed a pillow and repeatedly hit yourself in the face with it. The last thing you wanted was to be awake right now. Finally sighing in defeat, you set the pillow down and made yourself stand up, shivering as you made your way to the bathroom. You didn't change last night, too tired to care about what you slept in, and that meant your makeup as well. You spent a few minutes splashing your face with cold water and cleaning it until it looked presentable, before finally getting dressed. You grabbed the first outfit you found, thankful you were able to wear clothes for comfort and not business, you were able to wear jeans and a regular shirt. Once you were finally dressed you walked out of the room, sighing as you reached the kitchen, and were startled to see Tae and Jin both awake, the later standing by the stove while Tae sat at the island. "Morning sleeping beauty." Jin said softly, setting a plate of toast next to Tae. "I know you have to go, so I made a to-go bag." He smiled, setting a brown paper bag next to the toast. "You're a life saver." You sighed, smiling appreciatively at him as you set your jacket next to the bag, "I have to go get my shoes, I'll be back around one? Maybe two? You guys got any plans?" You asked, already walking back to your room. "Nope! Days off." Tae yelled. "We should go to lunch!" You yelled back, sliding your shoes on, and grabbing your phone. "Sounds good to me." Tae replied, you heard Jin mumble something as well, and smiled to yourself. Glancing down at your phone you saw a missed call and text from Yoongi from half an hour ago.

"Where are you?"

"Shit." You cursed, standing up quickly and running back to the living room, "gotta go. Thanks for the breakfast, see you guys later." You mumbled hurriedly, thanking Jin as he handed you a thermos of coffee, and helped you collect your things. "Yoongi?" Tae asked, despite already knowing the answer. "Babysitter can't be late." You replied, making him snort softly, you said bye to them again and shut the door, cursing under your breath as you hurried to your car.

"You're not supposed to be here until seven." You told Yoongi, watching him struggle to get out of his car. "What time is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes irritably as you huffed. "Six. The time I'm supposed to be here. What are you doing?" You asked, watching him shrug. "I woke up here." He mumbled, taking a step forward, and tripping over his feet. You watched him fall to the ground and cursed, setting your things on top of his car and helped him back onto his feet. "You woke up here?" You asked, putting his arm over your shoulder and leading him to the set as he nodded. "Did you drive back here? I watched you leave last night, did you come back for something?" You asked, sitting him in a chair as he groaned. "You." His voice was weak as he mumbled, and you sighed. "Stay here." You told him, before going back to his car and grabbing your things. "Why were you looking for me?" You asked, sitting across from him as he groaned. "I don't know. That's all I remember before waking up in my car here." He answered, and you sighed. "You probably got shitfaced. You look hungover, here." He glanced at you blearily as you held out your thermos for him, he took it and twisted the cap off, sniffing the contents questioningly. "It's not black, but it should help keep you awake, eat this, I need to make a call, the crew will have my head if there's no coffee and donuts this morning." You told him, standing up as you watched him begin eating the breakfast Jin made for you. "There's always coffee and donuts." Yoongi said softly making you scoff. "I know. I pick them up from the bakery, but I couldn't stop by before I got here because I had to come make sure you weren't in the back of a police car." You told him, watching him shrug as you stepped away and called Tae.

"I owe you." You sighed gratefully as Tae and Jin arrived with bags and boxes in their arms, "Well we do still have lunch later right? That'll cover it." Tae smiled cheekily as he helped you set up the table, "what's that?" You asked Jin as he held out a bag for you. "More breakfast. I knew you'd give it to him, and you need to eat too." He said as you smiled, hugging him tightly. "God I really would die without you two." You mumbled, beginning to set the donuts up in their usual position. You suddenly heard a car approach and raised your head, it was still six thirty, nobody was supposed to be here yet, but realization crossed your face as you watched the car park and saw four boys step out. "Those are his roommates." You told Tae and Jin, focusing your attention back on the donuts. "He's back here boys." You yelled loud enough for them to hear, but you heard the footsteps stop close and raised your head in confusion, startled to see them standing on the other side of the table holding boxes of donuts. "Yoongi?" You asked, glancing back at the rapper, who shrugged. "Thank you." You mumbled, taking the boxes from them. "This is so many oh my god." You laughed softly, trying to make room for them all, "well I guess this can be used as a way to say thanks since today's the last day of filming." You shrugged, clearing the trash as you turned back to Yoongi, he was still eating Jin's breakfast and slid money to one of his roommates, making you roll your eyes. "Thank you Yoongi. Now we have enough for everyone to go into a diabetic coma." You laughed softly, making a smile grace his lips for a second. "Thank you guys again, I'm sorry for bothering you." You turned to Tae and Jin, watching them only shrug in response, "it was no problem, honestly." Tae replied, Jin remained silent, his eyes glancing at one of Yoongi's roommates. You rolled your eyes playfully before hugging the both of them, and bidding goodbye as they went back home, soon followed by Yoongi's roommates leaving as well.

"You didn't have to do that you know." You said once it was just the two of you. "You're always cleaning up my messes, take it as a thank you, for everything you do." His voice was soft, and you were almost startled hearing those words pass his lips. He never thanked you for something done indirectly. "Well, thank you." You mumbled, making him snort as you began to drink the coffee Jin had brought. "I just thanked you, and your response is 'thank you'? Okay ___" he laughed, and you felt heat rise to your face, and your stomach flutter. You cringed at the feeling and occupied yourself with setting up the props, you didn't know why he was acting so different towards you, but your hated the way it made you feel. After knowing him for nearly two years, him suddenly not acting like a brat was startling. You just hoped he'd go back to how he usually acts soon. "Do you have any medicine?" Yoongi suddenly asked, making you jump and turn to face him, "umm, like pain killers? Yeah." You nodded, walking over to your purse and grabbing the pill bottle. "Do you have a headache?" You asked, pouring the pills into your hand and grabbing him a water bottle. He nodded, thanking you softly as you handed the items to him. You watched him take the pills and pressed your forearm against his forehead. "Are you getting sick?" You asked, squatting down to look him in the eyes, you put your hands on either side of his face. "You're warm. How do you feel?" You asked, grabbing a towel, putting water on it, and holding it against his head. He didn't reply. His eyes were trained on yours, studying your features, until you snapped him out of it. "F-Fine." He answered, blinking slowly as his eyes trailed from your eyes to your lips. "Take it easy alright? You've still got twenty minutes until things actually start, use the peace and quiet as much as you can, see if you can shut your eyes for a bit." You told him, your eyes meeting his, and you saw an emotion behind his eyes that you couldn't place, and shrugged it off as his hangover. "There's more coffee if you need it. Today's an easy day today. Very little dancing, mostly just the slow scenes. It's scheduled as a six hour day, but if we work well enough, shooting should be done within three hours, and we can take breaks if you need any, just let me know if you start feeling sick okay?" You told him, watching him nod as you stood up. He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't hear, and you shrugged it off and returned to setting things up.

"And that is a wrap on the music video! Thank you so much to everyone that contributed to making this, it's been a pleasure working with all of you, please, take some donuts on your way out." You laughed as everyone clapped, saying goodbye to each other and packing up their items. "Yoongi, you alright?" You asked, walking over to him as he sat in a chair, fanning himself with your clipboard. He nodded slowly, and you feigned a smile. "See? Just like I said, a three hour day. And we're done. You don't have anything other than editing, but you don't need to be there for that if you’re not up for it, so you have the next week to relax and feel better, use it. Don't be out partying, otherwise this sickness isn't going to go away okay? Tell your roommates to buy soup and painkillers. Until then..." You trailed off, reaching into your bag and pulling out the pill bottle from earlier. "Don't abuse it, it's just light stuff." You told him, making him roll his eyes as he took the bottle from you. "Thank you." He said softly, and you nodded, smiling at him again, before beginning to clean up. Today's clean up was longer as things actually had to be taken, and fully cleaned, but by the end it was just you and Yoongi, and two left over boxes of donuts.

"You okay to drive?" You asked, walking over to him, and holding a donut box out. "Yeah." He nodded, waving it off as he gathered his things, seeming more energized than earlier. "Thank you for earlier." He said softly, setting his car keys on top of the box in his hands. "I know I'm a pain in the ass. But I genuinely do appreciate it. I don't know what I would do without you." He said softly. You couldn't help but smile as you glanced at your feet shyly. "Probably die." You replied, he smiled and nodded his head, "yeah, you're probably right. I'll see you around." He said with a soft laugh, waving as he walked to his car. You watched him leave and sighed, watching his car drive away, and you felt a feeling in your gut you hadn't felt in a long time.

"You're an idiot." Tae scoffed. "I know." You groaned in annoyance, holding your head in your hands, sighing as you glanced back up at the boys sitting across from you. The three of you were at lunch, and you had told them that your feelings for Yoongi were turning from a hatred to more of a caring nature. "You were just telling us you wanted to punch him in the face." Jin reminded you. "I know." You sighed. "And now you're saying that you want to kiss him in the face." He said making you snort softly at his wording. "I know I'm just as irritated at myself as you are, but I don't know, he was just acting really different today, he was being nicer, and thanking me-" "that's toxic." Tae interrupted you, making you sigh. "It's not like he's an asshole that beats me and I'm forgiving him because he gave me a flower. He's just annoying, and he's being really nice now, call it a character arc, he's acting a lot nicer, and I appreciate it." You told them, "you're appreciating it too much." Jin replied, making you sigh for the millionth time. "I'm not saying I'm going to go and suck the guys dick. All I'm saying is, he's acting a lot nicer now, and I'm appreciating it. Okay? That's all." You defended yourself. You saw Tae and Jin share a look before sighing. "Just don't move too fast alright? This isn't just a one night stand that you'll forget, this is also your job, and if things go south, BigHit won't just fire Yoongi, managers are replaceable in the eyes of big corporations." Tae warned you, making you nod slowly and huff as you shoved some of your food in your mouth. "I need new friends that will just condone my stupid habits instead of being smart and warning me of the consequences." You sighed, making Jin roll his eyes as he kicked your leg playfully.

Yoongi's attitude didn't change. It was a month later now, and everything was going smoothly, his music video was done, had been for a few weeks now, and you two were just preparing things for tour, and he was still being nice and friendly. You didn't know what had gotten into him to suddenly make him change his attitude, but you knew one thing, it made your 'want to kiss him' turn into a 'want to have a relationship with him' and even you weren't blind enough to know these were dangerous waters. But as of now, nothing mattered as you danced alongside Jin and Tae. The club you stood in was loud and sweaty, drinks in your guys' hands as you forgot about the next day's duties. "Looky looky." Tae teased, pointing out the entrance where you watched Yoongi and his roommates walk in. "Shut up and tease Jin, I'm getting another drink." You smacked his shoulder playfully before walking over to the bar. You sat on a stool and ordered your drink, watching Yoongi approach as you waited. He didn't see you at first, but his excitement when he did was impossible to not notice. "Hey!" He greeted, smiling wide as he walked over, sitting on the stool next to you. "What're you guys doing here?" You asked, watching him order four drinks and a water. "Boys wanted a night out." He told you, handing the drinks to his roommates, and taking the water for himself. "That's new." You pointed out, watching him shrug. "I'm the driver." He replied, watching you nod understandably. "Yeah that's Jin's duty tonight, I just wanted to drink." You snorted softly, watching Yoongi glance at your roommates. "The pink haired one?" He asked, watching you nod in response. "What's his sexuality, do you know?" Yoongi asked, making your heart drop suddenly, "he uh, he's bisexual. Why?" You asked nervously. "My friend, Namjoon-" he pointed him out. "Has been eyeing him, just curious." He replied making you laugh softly. "That's good, Jin's been eyeing him as well." You told him, making him laugh softly. "Perfect, we'll have to try and find a way to set them up then eh?" He laughed, nudging you softly as you smiled, nodding in agreement. "I have to go to the bathroom can you watch my drink?" You hiccuped, watching him nod, he slid the drink closer to him and you got up, thanking him softly before heading to the bathroom like stated. You sighed at the line, despite expecting nothing less from a crowded bar. You waited your turn and were thankful it went quick, and you were already heading back to where Yoongi sat just a few minutes later. "That was unusually quick." He commented, making you scoff softly as you grabbed your drink. "What you time my bathroom breaks now?" You laughed, taking a sip of your drink as he laughed softly, "no, I just meant for usual bar bathroom times, there's always long lines." He said, making you nod, smiling as you saw Jin smiling as he leaned against the bar, and talked to Namjoon, "How're you feeling?" You asked him, seeing him more spaced out than usual, he sat up slowly and stretched. "I'm fine." He replied, turning to face you. "Just bored." He shrugged, you nodded, pursing your lips, you hesitated, before finishing your drink and standing up, "wanna dance?" You asked, holding your hand out to him, he seemed hesitant, before taking your hand and letting you lead him to the dance floor. He seemed awkward, and unsure what to do as you began to move slowly, smiling encouragingly, he slowly began to dance with you, a smile on his face as you two began to dance with each other, and sway along to the music.

The room was spinning when you woke up. You weren't sure what had happened, and weren't sure why you felt as bad as you did. You had never had a hangover this bad, and groaned as you raised your arm in an attempt to brush your hair out of your face, but found it limp, and it fell onto your face painfully instead. "T-Tae?" You whispered, trying to open your eyes but finding it difficult to. You finally got them open and sighed in relief, your head spinning as you tried to sit up and move properly. After a few more moments you finally found strength, and were able to stand up, but found yourself gripping the dresser for support. Only now, you realized, you were not in your bedroom. You looked around quickly, your head buzzing as you analyzed the room around you, and sighed in relief when you recognized it as Yoongi's, from the many times you dragged him home drunk. The previous nights adventures ran through your mind, and you tried to piece it together as you moved towards the door, hoping you would find answers down the hallway. You groaned at the light and covered your eyes, having to hold onto the wall to keep yourself standing, you finally reached the living room and covered your eyes to block out the light, and sighed in relief when you saw Tae and Jin sitting in the living room. "Jin?" You mumbled softly, taking a step forward, the sound of your voice made all the boys face you, Tae and Jin jumped up off the couch and immediately ran to your side, "Hey, come lay back down." Tae mumbled, leading you back to Yoongi's bedroom, and you were too weak to protest. "What's going on?" You asked, looking at them with confused eyes. "Where's Yoongi? Why are we at his house?" You asked, sitting on the bed slowly. "You need to rest alright? We'll talk later, you need more sleep." Jin said softly, making you lay down as you tried to argue, but your words were mumbled and didn't make sense to even you, sighing in defeat, you acknowledged the tiredness pulling you back under, and heard yourself mumble Yoongi's name as you fell asleep.

"So is everyone going to pretend they can't hear me?" You asked. It was later now, a day after the bar, and you were still in Yoongi's bed, yet he was no where to be found. Namjoon was the victim of your question as he set food down on the bed for you. "I'm not sure I'm the best one to talk to you about it." He mumbled, self consciously wrapping his arms around yourself, but you didn't care who told you, you wanted to know what happened to leave you with little memory of the night and in the bed of the artist you managed. "I don't care, just tell me please, it's really irritating not knowing, and pretty panic inducing when nobody-not even your best friends are talking to you, and you're in someone else's bed, in their clothes." You knew the words hit him hard and he sighed, closing the door softly, and sat on the edge of Yoongi's bed, very hesitant as he tried to find his words. "You and Yoon were dancing...." He started, scratching the back of his neck nervously, "and he had to go make a phone call, so he asked Jin and I to keep an eye on you, because you were acting weird, we just thought you were drunk, and would occasionally glance at you." He explained. Your heart began racing in fear as you twisted your fingers together. "We only looked away for a few seconds, and when we looked back you were walking away with someone. We thought it was Yoongi. Your friend said that you two have gotten a lot closer in the last month and so we assumed you were leaving or-" "Namjoon." You interrupted him, wanting him to get back to the point. "It wasn't. We didn't know who he was. Yoongi said he was coming back inside after the phone call, and he saw him leading you out of the bar, you were barely awake, and were mumbling your friends name. I don't know what happened next, but by the time we made it outside, you were unconscious on the curb and Yoongi was on top of the other guy. We took you away quickly, not knowing what to do, but knowing the police would show up, me and Jin were driving you, and we decided to take you here, it was closer than your house, and we could both keep an eye on you until the others got back. They talked to the police, and the guy is gone, but nobody's heard from Yoongi since. He texted us, telling us to move you to his room, and make sure someone was always with you, and he's been gone since." He finished explaining. Your heart was racing as your stomach turned on itself, and you tried to figure out your emotions. You heard him call Jin's name softly, and soon had your friends comforting you as you tried to wrap your mind around everything.

The apartment was silent as you sat on the couch, still piecing your feelings together. It was a few hours later, later in the evening. Jin and Tae had left to get food, they tried to insist you come, or one of them stay with you, but you wanted alone time, and that's what you had for a little while, until you heard the doorbell ring. You got up slowly, and opened the door, your face falling as you saw Yoongi on the other side of the door, his head low as he held out a pill bottle, the painkillers you had given him during the music video. "Thought you might have a headache." He mumbled, still not meeting your eyes as you grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him into the apartment. "Are you kidding me?" You snapped, making him look up at you in shock. "After everything you tell them to put me in your bed, put me in your clothes, and yet you just disappear? With no trace? And don't bother saying anything o-or even texting?!" You snapped, pushing his chest as he took a deep breath. "I'm not doing this." He spoke calmly, despite the anger radiating off of him, he moved past you and towards the door, tossing the painkillers onto the counter. "No we are doing this because you owe me an explanation!" You snapped, walking over and putting your hand on the door, knowing he could open it despite your attempts if he tried hard enough. "What do you want me to say?!" He snapped turning to face you as his jaw trembled. "What do you want me to do huh? To face you? To talk to you? To pretend it's not my fault? Is that what you want ___? Cause you're not going to get it." He sneered, making your heart drop softly. "Yoongi this isn't your-" "how? How is it not my fault? You left your drink with me. You sat next to me. You danced with me. You trusted me." The last sentence was barely a whisper as he said it, tears welling in his eyes as you swallowed thickly. "You're hurt." You said softly, seeing dried blood on his neck, causing him to scoff as he turned away again. "You can't just walk out on me!" You yelled angrily, "watch me." He snapped, his hand on the door handle as you ran over to him. "I don't know why you're acting like this! We're both fine, and we barely even started being able to tolerate each other a month ago! It's not like we're good friends! You-“ you broke off, not finishing your sentence as it hurt yourself to say. "You don't know why I'm acting like this?" He asked, his voice dangerously low as he turned to face you again.

"I'm sorry, would you rather me go back to who I was? Treating you and everyone else like shit because I hated myself too much and couldn't admit that I was the problem?!" He snapped, making your face fall as you took a step back. "The wannabe frat boy drinking myself to death and fucking hookers cause I didn't want to admit that I was in love with the one girl that I couldn't have?! Is that what you want __?! You want an explanation?! I couldn't face you because I'm in fucking love with you and knowing you got hurt because of me made me not even able to face myself!" He snapped, a tear passing his eyes as you stood speechless in front of him. He scoffed as he turned on his feet again, and opened the apartment door. Before he could step out however, you raced to his side again, and this time when he faced you, you pressed your lips against his. Kicking the door shut you held him closely. He grabbed you suddenly, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled your body roughly against his, panting against your lips as he lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist and let him carry you to your room. Once in reach he threw you onto the bed, and climbed over you, his hands on either side of your head as he trailed his lips down to your neck, and pulled your shirt off quickly. You were panting underneath him as he kissed along the exposed skin of your stomach, and made his way down to your jeans, kissing above your jean-line as he undid your button and zipper, pulling them down your legs swiftly, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up to you, kissing him messily as you began to undo his belt. He pulled away to take his shirt off, and let his jeans fall to the floor and kick them away, you looked at him above you, reach forward you trailed your fingers along his exposed skin, seeing fresh bruises littering his skin and a healing cut just below his jaw, undoubtedly from the fight Namjoon had explained, you pulled him down, kissing him softly. He smiled against your lips before trailing his down to your neck again, you felt his hand trail down your stomach before he slid his fingers into your panties, and found your clit. You gasped at the sudden feeling and tugged at his hair, feeling him groan against your neck as he began to rub circles on your clit quickly. You moaned and arched your back off the bed, wanting more of him you tried to tell him, but found yourself speechless as he entered a finger inside of you.

You whined at the feeling, pulling his head from your neck to kiss his lips as you moaned. "I'm gonna cum." You whispered, your thighs clenching around his hand, he smiled against your lips and entered another finger, making you whimper in pleasure as he egged you on, his lips still ghosting over yours as he smirked and whispered "good girl." You whined again as he added a third finger, thrusting them inside of you quickly, and curving them, making you gasp as he hit your g-spot. You gripped his shoulders roughly and found yourself moving your hips with him. He drank in your reactions and fastened his pace, swallowing your moans as you gasped, cumming around his fingers, he continued to rub your clit and bring you down from your high until there were tears in the corners of your eyes and you were breathless. "I need you." You didn't care how needy you sounded as you watched him smirk, bringing his fingers to his lips you watched him run his tongue over each of them, making you groan as you quickly undid your bra and threw it across the room, desperate to have him inside you, you pulled your underwear off next, and saw him finally begin to pull his underwear down, his smirk still on his lips as he found himself at the end of the bed, and kissing up your legs slowly. "Don't even think about it." You warned as he reached your thighs, paying extra attention to the soft skin on the insides of your thighs, you gasped as you felt a sharp pain, and saw him smirk and run his tongue over the bite mark, and you couldn't deny the heat it caused in your stomach. "Yoongi I swear to god-" you were cut off as he put his hand on your pussy again, his fingers teasing the folds as you whined. "Desperate, are we?" He teased, loving your reactions, he continued to slowly move his fingers, taunting you as he ran them along your slit slowly. "I'm going to kill you." You whispered breathlessly, making him laugh, and only egging him on more. "Easy, you're going to get what you want, I'm just having my fun. I can't help it, your reactions are fucking amazing." He smiled, kissing your stomach again, making you whine impatiently. He finally gave in, and moved his position, so he was now hovering over you, and kissed your lips softly. "You're so goddamn beautiful." He whispered, putting his hand on your cheek, and running his thumb over your bottom lip. "Now's not the best time to go soft on me Yoongi." You whispered, desperate for him to fuck you.

"I know, but it's rude to be looking at art and not appreciate the beauty of it." He hummed, letting his hand trail back down to your clit and rub slow circles on it. "Shut the fuck up and fuck me already." You panted, hating the stupid smirk on his stupid face as he peppered your face in kisses. "As you wish Jagiya." He whispered, giving you a soft wink, before lining himself with you, you felt him rub the tip of his cock slowly along your pussy, allowing it to collect your wetness and make his entry easier, you waited impatiently, and gasped as you felt him slowly push in. He only took seconds to bottom out, and stilled to let you adjust. "Holy fuck." You panted out, your mind in a haze and at a loss of words as you nodded at him, telling him it was okay to move. He leaned down and kissed you softly as he pulled out, before pushing back in. Still moving slowly as you panted against his lips, whimpering as his pace quickened. "Fuck." Yoongi gasped, groaning quietly as he sped up his thrusts, kissing you more passionately now as he stuck with his pace, driving both of you wild as you panted breathlessly into each other mouths. "Fuck..." You whined, gripping his shoulders tightly as he trailed his mouth down your body, focusing on your boobs, you felt him kiss along them before taking a nipple between his teeth, and teasing it, the sensation driving you wild as you moaned his name along with a string of cuss words. You felt one of his hand snake along your waist, feeling every inch of your skin as he leaned up to kiss you again. "Goddamn you're so perfect." He panted, brushing the hair out of your face to admire it. "You're not so bad yourself." You laughed softly, running your fingers through his hair, and letting out a high pitched whine as he hit your sweet spot. "God I'm not going to last long." You warned him, pulling him down to you as you kissed him roughly, "Good." He whispered, panting as he kissed along your body again, and his fingers found your clit again. He rubbed quick circles on it as you moaned, crying out his name as you came around him, your legs clamping down around his waist, you heard him whisper a string of curse words, before moaning loudly as he came inside of you. You panted tiredly as he stilled, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat as his head hung low. You brushed his bangs out of his face, feeling him pull out and lay on the bed next to you. No sounds other than your breathing were made for a minute, until you laughed suddenly, your heart racing as you turned to face him, his face horror struck as you put your hand on his cheek.

"I love you too." You whispered, watching relief flood his features as he smiled, "I'm sorry, for being such a little bitch." He whispered, making you snort and shake your head. "It's fine. If I hated you I wouldn't of stuck around this long." You mumbled. He grabbed your hand off his cheek and kissed it softly, before leaning forward and kissing your lips. You smiled softly and kissed back, running your fingers through his hair as he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and blinking slowly. "Do you want cereal?" You asked suddenly, making him burst out laughing as you smiled. "I haven't eaten much today and there's cereal in the kitchen and I really want some." You laughed softly, and he shook his head playfully. "Okay." He sat up slowly. "Let's go get some cereal then." 

You two had only been in the kitchen for a few minutes when the door opened, and you watched Tae and Jin walk in, stopping suddenly as they saw Yoongi. "Fucking finally." Tae laughed, making you and Yoongi blush as you stared down at your cereal shyly, reaching over, you grabbed Yoongi's hand and smiled at him, and he smiled back, and in that moment, Yoongi and his smile was all that mattered to you.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Ava

Nancy: Hey Ava: Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit! Nancy: 🍀🧡🎩🌈💚 Nancy: impressed that you're not too 🍻 to type that out Nancy: anyone else would be disappointed, like Ava: Dad would say its a language you need a slur to speak properly Ava: but quietly 'cos he sounds too English for that to be a self-read Ava: Hope you demanded double complimentary drinks on the flight, it's your God-given right today Ava: every day might be a stretch, even on British Airways Nancy: You don't need to worry about repeating anything dad would say Nancy: on today of all days Nancy: unless you're gonna do it to make a point about our own accents Ava: Not like any of us are that Irish we need the translation Ava: There goes my speech though Nancy: Speak for yourself 'cause there's my excuse gone in the big 🍎 if not Nancy: and speaking of... Nancy: no need to worry about getting yourself to the airport either Ava: Americans can't understand anyone who doesn't speak through their nose and at full volume, facts Ava: Oh? Nancy: Yeah, I know Nancy: I've been working on the volume thing for a while now, I think I'm finally getting somewhere 🤞 Nancy: I'm sorry, Av Nancy: I'm not gonna make it back Ava: Sounds like hard work Ava: It's fine Ava: Priorities Nancy: You know what both mum and dad would have to say about hard work Nancy: Priorities too Ava: Exactly Nancy: I miss you though Nancy: catch me up Ava: When were you last here? Ava: Christmas? Ava: Hard to summarize three months really Nancy: It feels like forever Nancy: which is why I'm starting with you and not Saint Nancy: your larger vocab also helps, of course 😏 Ava: To say he's catching up is less and less offensive each day Ava: Probably a better conversationalist than you find Dad Nancy: No lie detected Nancy: but your dog is more fun to talk to than he is so Ava: Don't drag Frank into your petty feud Nancy: it'd only be petty if it started years ago for literally no reason and dragged on and on Nancy: oh wait... Nancy: yeah nevermind 🙄 Ava: Mhmm Ava: Not to mention one-sided Nancy: well he knows which side he picked Ava: 🙄 Nancy: those sessions where he joined me for therapy were definitely worth every penny Ava: Its psychiatry, not miraclework Nancy: 😂 Nancy: obviously should've 🙏 Ava: It's about self-improvement, is it not Ava: Not changing your parents Nancy: Ouch Nancy: am I not improved? Nancy: besides, wanting it all regardless is the McKenna mindset and getting your money's worth even more so Ava: 🤷 Nancy: wanting to drag me to Dublin for the festivities, understandable if not relatable but dragging me to hell Nancy: quite far tbh Ava: Its not like I knew you then or now Ava: And I'm pretty sure it's about internal validation too so I don't feel any need to comment Nancy: okay Ava: Have a nice day then Ava: Get a shamrock shake or go to a fake Irish bar Nancy: Oh lord Nancy: I won't be doing any of that, Americans who think they're Irish are vocal enough about it on every other day Nancy: they hear my last name and wanna tell me their great grandparents life story or something Ava: You're missing out Ava: But how many times can I repeat that either Nancy: You don't have to, I heard you the first time Nancy: my apologies can be repeated as many times as you like though Nancy: 'Cause I mean it, yeah? Nancy: I'll call mum, get you here soon instead Ava: Sure Ava: Easter, maybe Ava: I'm going away with my friends this summer Nancy: Definitely Nancy: Are you still with....? Help me out there, like Ava: Lyla Ava: and yeah Nancy: Right! Maybe you can bring her Ava: Cool Nancy: I promise not to point a camera in your faces the WHOLE time Ava: I don't care Ava: but she will give you an in-depth lecture on her angle, not plural so Nancy: if I can handle Ri's demands, I don't think I've got anything to worry about Ava: Possibly Ava: but I doubt Wren Taylor-Thompson ever commented on her 87 chins Nancy: point taken Ava: Next time I'll get a girlfriend who's less no flash photography Nancy: like you said, hard work and priorities Ava: Meh, not really Ava: Are you going to talk to Ri and Buster/Saint or am I passing on a message? Nancy: I'm sure he'll be too drunk to form a coherent sentence soon if he isn't already Nancy: but I'm sure I'll catch her Ava: It is a party here, after-all Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I remember what they're like Ava: Do you? Nancy: unavoidably so Nancy: my long term memory's the reliable one Ava: Sure Nancy: what? Ava: What? Nancy: if there's something you wanna say Ava: No? Nancy: okay then Ava: Bye then Nancy: I'll call mum this week about arranging Easter so I don't forget Ava: 'Course Ava: Don't do it now, we're all wasted Nancy: she'd never hear the phone over all that good craic Nancy: and Shane McGowan 🎵 Ava: As if they've not trained themselves to pick up vibrate from ten paces in any situation Nancy: 100 paces if it's a work call Nancy: but she knows I know better than to dial on such a holy day Nancy: it'd have to be life and death Ava: If she knew that she'd be waiting at the airport, like Nancy: she doesn't do waiting at airports Ava: Not for the forseeable Nancy: I'm doing her a favour and everyone else who'd have to endure how angry not being able to see through the crowds makes her Ava: Far as excuses go Ava: You can do better Nancy: if you wanna slag me off, you can do better too Ava: I don't Ava: I've got partying to do Nancy: 'course Ava: Don't try to put your feeling bad onto me Ava: or anyone else Nancy: I don't feel bad Ava: That's why you're convinced I'm slagging you off Ava: and you've spent the convo doing as much to everyone else Ava: sign of a clear conscience, that Nancy: convinced is a strong word Nancy: and I'm not slagging anyone off Ava: You've only felt the need to bring it up twice Nancy: I'm obviously reading this all wrong Ava: Obviously is a strong word Nancy: like you said, I must be projecting something Nancy: since nothing's wrong and you're well in the party mood Nancy: I've been working too hard, my 🧠 is clearly the only one mad at me Ava: Have you told mum and dad you aren't coming? Ava: 'Cos your 🧠 ain't nothing in comparison if not Nancy: they aren't actually expecting me Nancy: they know me better than you do Nancy: and that I'd already be there Ava: Not mad, disappointed Ava: Gotcha Nancy: exactly Ava: 👍 Nancy: go tell Buster to call me when he sobers up Nancy: but not a second before Ava: Maybe you should have a drink instead Ava: get on the level Nancy: drunk photography sounds better in theory Nancy: it never develops how you think it will and not in a good way Nancy: have one for me Ava: Its a holy day Ava: take it off Nancy: If I believed that I'd be there Ava: You said it Nancy: that they see it as one, yeah Ava: Mhmm Nancy: I don't drink unless I'm 💔 everyone knows that Ava: It's not compulsory Nancy: being the only sober adult in the room that isn't pregnant isn't my idea of how to spend a holy day well Ava: And working is? Ava: 🤷 Nancy: yeah Ava: Okay Nancy: so go make the most of yours Nancy: I'll be in touch Ava: 👋 Nancy: 💚 Slán 🧡

[darkfxther]

Hey everyone! This is Lauren checking in from the realm of the undead. Why am I dead? Because of this. THIS. This is Darth Vader talking about SEE THREEPIO!! The droid he built for his mother Shmi! I am dead. I AM A MESS!! A DEAD MESS!! THAT IS ALL!!