#good at problem solving or whatever. im missing the english word equivalent here (which is a shame its a good word)

[dumber-alek]

GOD it is so satisfying when I have to calculate something at work and it's correct. Makes me feel very powerful

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #170

UPDATE 170: Dave Gets His Epiphany

Last time Hussie had decided it was time to pour even more dialogue onto the readers, since last time it hadn’t been enough, hah! Ten different dialogue options – presented linearly, in a subversion of how this usually goes. So let’s continue with what may or may not be the last chance these characters have of talking to each other before the fights.

So I heard that hovering over the options one already cleared would show images, and that was right! There are images. It seems Dave and Dirk continue just...lying around awkwardly, and Vriska and her ghost are arguing while Meenah fantasizes about varied stuff. There’s more than can be done, although the very next option is Roxy being alone. She’s still trying to create the matriorb. Calliope is sitting right in front of her, in silent support role. Roxy channels the universe and Alternia’s complicated state of matters, and...

Well! Mission accomplished! That was easier than I thought it’d be, even with Calliope’s silent help. I suppose there wasn’t more time for delaying this any longer. Kanaya is going to be immensely happy the troll race will be resurrected now. This was a short detour, completely devoid of words but with a significant development – at least to complete quite some part of Roxy and Kanaya’s arcs and goals in this story.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Roxy and Calliope leave right when the bizarre combination that is Jasprosesprite arrives to hassle Jane for a while longer. I’m crossing my fingers this’ll be quick and painless.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Miss me Rose?  JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you know I love you?? Weird thing for me to say and you to hear, probably!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: I inherited the adoration our cat had for you, which now strangely is directed with the exact same intensity at myself, because I'm you!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funnily enough this manifests itself in a particularly acute form of narcissism, which is something we were already sort of afflicted by, and so was our cat by the very nature of the sort of animal he was!  JASPROSESPRITE^2: The bottom line is I'm pretty twisted up inside in all the most beautiful ways and it's wonderful.  ROSE: It really isn't.

Haha, okay, that one was actually pretty funny. She’s not wrong, Rose, you do tend to have slight traces of narcissism in your personality. Guess that all the increased narcissism in this sprite is what makes it have absolutely no brain-mouth filter, what with having an inflated sense of the self and what one says. Being a cat can’t help that either.

Now that Jasperosesprite made the customary hassling towards Rose, she gets straight to business about the battle plan. She has to arrange with Jane how it’ll be done, after all. This is achieved by taking Jane away without even giving her a moment to prepare. There’s someone she needs to meet, somebody in Jane’s planet.

Ah, true, the denizen. The New Wonderkids’ session was rather lacking in information about the denizens, especially since this session was meant to do pretty much nothing. Given Hussie’s track record so far, I’m almost completely sure that Jane’s talk with the denizen will happen off-screen and the characters will talk about it once it’s done, so...no more option than waiting until this is done!

Damn it , I have been bamboozled! Well played, Hussie, you had me fooled, I admit it. This could be good, though, not everyday you meet a senior version of yourself that’s dressed as a clown and...is the mother of your father. This is time-travel-gone-wrong levels of weird.

Aw, come on, Hussie, I wanted to see this! But nope, just when Nannasprite got in front of Jane the section ended and went to the next. Oh well. I’m really hoping I’ll have the chance to see how this goes, but I’m not going to hold my breath over it. The scribbled images of what the rest of the options are doing show John and Terezi discussing how Rose could have a black romance status with, uh, a version of herself. Yeeeeeeah no, let’s not do that. Doesn’t seem healthy – just ask Karkat, it’d be a headache.

About Roxy and Calliope, they just arrived to what I think is Jade’s planet, and Calliope is told to stay with Jade. I had completely forgotten Jade is still asleep. It’s once again said that it’s nice to have Calliope around. And...that was it! I just summarized around six or so pages in this very short paragraph.

I think that goes way beyond the realm of kismesis behavior Rose...and out of the realm of sanity as well. Stay away from any copies of the Sassacre book, resist the temptation. Anyways, Dave and Dirk are still here. Going to try to talk again? They’re focusing more on the battle to come than on anything else. Hah! No progress on the heartfelt conversation front, apparently.

DAVE: hes got lord english powers tho

It could be a way to know how well a fight against Lord English would go, then. Sure, Union Jack is completely different, less bulky, has no time powers, and presumably has one single personality in that noggin of his instead of being a weird amalgamation, but it’d be a way to see if they are ready to fight against Lord English. Think of it as having training wheels on your bike.

Swords can’t help you solve problems with people, who’d have thought. Dirk and Jake are the closest example to how someone who has spent their formative years alone and without the presence of people around would behave: with no social skills at all. Jade got very lucky in that regard, she is very well-balanced for someone who grew on an island and only had a dog for company. Then again, her Dreamself must have been of help, the Prospitians must have helped her have some people skills.

DIRK: ...  DAVE: ...

Nothing has changed here.

It takes a few pages more before Dirk takes the plunge headfirst down the emotional cliff, with all the grace of a novice. It does get the conversation going, mostly about how this isn’t how he pictured the meeting going.

DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew. 

These two are much more similar than they each realize. Their upbringings aren’t that different, heck, I’d say that Lil’ Hal fulfilled the role Bro had, just with less sword attacks. Other than that it was pretty much the same, an isolated life with an aloof person/glasses in the vicinity. Come on, Dave, admit you idolized Bro. That’d be a great step towards turning the page in your life and bonding with Dirk, you can do it!

DAVE: ive got to say  DAVE: meeting you  DAVE: its not rockin my world here  DAVE: or upending any paradigms or whatever  DAVE: listening to you and looking at you  DAVE: it really really just  DAVE: reminds me of him

Close enough! I’m a bit downtrodden there was no exchange of words between Bro and Dave so I could have a reference on how similar this actual situation is to how they got along. I imagine Bro wasn’t that different from Dirk.

DIRK: Things, between you and me, from your perspective, um,  DIRK: Are we like, not cool?  DAVE: ..................

I’m not sure if it’s telling or not that there was no ‘yeah’ or similar quick response.

DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok? 

...

...

...okay, that isn’t how I thought it’d go. I suppose there’s a difference between idolizing and actually liking a person. Good for you for saying it aloud, Dave. It must have been very difficult to say to anybody, even more to a version of your brother.

After a sequence of images meant to show how little time passed between Dave going “I don’t want to talk about it” to “okay heres what im saying” he finally starts...and boy is it tough.

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them  DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me  DAVE: but thats not how it was 

That’s pretty much how kids and teenagers are, they complain and don’t realize sometimes such complaints aren’t about things as bad as they could be. Leaving behind such behavior is part of growing up. Dave didn’t realize how badly he was being treated, though, he just saw no difference between his life and the lives of the rest of his friends – at first.

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years  DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!  DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof"  DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me 

...hated you? Hm...honestly? I don’t know. Bro’s way of raising Dave had a lot of things wrong, and I really don’t know how to interpret it. I’m interested on knowing how other people interpreted it. Would you mind telling me your thoughts, everyone? I really don’t know what to think about this.

Dirk actually sounds horrified about what he’s hearing. Perhaps he doesn’t like the thought of his equivalent doing this all?

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be  DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life  DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot 

Haha...you know what this brought to mind? What went through my head right when I read this part?

TT: Don't worry, that's normal.  TT: Upon activation he goes into Stalking Mode.  GT: Stalking mode??  TT: Yes. He will stalk you in the jungle and strike when your guard is down. 

It’s exactly that. Dave pretty much described the robot Dirk made and sent to Jake. It’s pretty much the same in terms of how Dave was raised! Wow, Hussie, did you do this on purpose? I think you did this on purpose! Dave may as well have been raised by the brobot thing, and just like Jake – who dreaded encountering it and once he had to fight it didn’t precisely have loads of fun – Dave now doesn’t want to fight. He wants to avoid this fighting thing, and hates that he has to be the one to grab the sword and slay the villain.

You seriously screwed up here, Bro.

Dave even brings up that maybe things would have been better if Lil’ Cal hadn’t been around. Maybe! The influence of Lord English can’t be an ingredient in a healthy household – even more since part of Lord English is once another version of Dirk. Hah! Life sucks for the Striders. It’s...it’s rather depressing, actually. I wonder if at the time they had to cram Caliborn into the puppet Dave realized what Lil’ Cal was. Even if he did, I doubt he’d have any kind of reaction when anyone was nearby, but at that moment I imagine many things clicked in Dave’s head.

Would Bro have been any different if that puppet of the damned hadn’t been around? Uh...I dunno. Maybe it really was a poisonous influence of some sort, influence Dirk was lucky not to have. It’s all up to interpretation, I’d say.

I think now that the epiphany is complete I can stop the update and continue next time. This, though, this is exactly what I was hoping the Striders would do, that at least one of them would unload this heavy emotional baggage, and it’s for the better! I’m glad it’s actually happening.

Next update: three updates

[godshipsit]

after that meh buckleming mid season finale of course 12x09, written by our showrunner, was... better. i still think there are way too many things they have to deal with in not so many episodes, but that’s supernatural’s trademark so... it is what it is. enjoy my rambling comment on the episode. 

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

first watch, so im sorry for this lol ..  

1. personal opinion: i hate when the army is involved in any capacity in spn. i already thought that the 12x08 cliffhanger was really unwise, and how they solved the whole prison situation kind of confirmed it for me. 

2. i laughed so much at mick trying to convince the american hunters (depicted as barbarians) that they should trust the bmol. i mean, why should they trust your pretty face. 

3. i didn’t laugh when i realized that cas, despite everything, is part of the supernatural.. and the bmol want to eradicate the supernatural. (i called it here, whatever there is to call)

4. CAS IS SO DEVASTATED BC THE WINCHESTERS ARE MISSING IM CRYING ALL MY TEARS

5. i see that mary projects as much as her son, nice to know. sorry ma’am, blame buckleming for the mess of last episode’s, not cas. 

6. the sequence where we see sam and dean in prison, isolated and counting the days, really stressed me wow. 

7. ok let’s leave out the boring stuff and jump to the juicy stuff

8. dean immediately calling cas for help. the brothers trust him with their lives, and that’s a fact. (also dean knows cas’ number by heart, how cute)

9. if cas and mary had called the bmol immediately, this episode wouldn’t exist 

10. jensen voice: in fact, this episode doesn’t exist 

11. i’m sorry for my salty ass

12. either mick and mr ketch want to bang cas, or they’re extremely interested in him... as an angel. which is scary, for many reasons (many reasons = this whole episode)

13. there’s no way they’ve sent the most incompetent soldiers after sam and dean, those two keep resuscitating, i would’ve blown up the entire secret base and forest. (crowley has always been the smart one btw) 

14. SAM SHOOTING THAT GUY’S FEET AND LEAVING HIM THE FIRST AID KIT IS THE PUREST THING EVER I YELLED 

15. (btw can we stop writing these super secret prisons in the middle of nowhere? can this trend die for good?) 

16. so many epic lines .. “we’re the guys who save the world”. i mean, i personally hate them, but they’re great for edits.

17. hey there cas! how handy that the bmol are the supernatural equivalent of james bond. 

18. nobody helps anyone for free lol, what are these guys up to. 

19. “no loose ends” .. shit, mr sketchy and mick shady are definitely up to no good. they’re fancy af tho. 

20. WHY DO THE WINCHESTERS ALWAYS DO STUPID DEALS THAT ALWAYS HAVE THE WORST CONSEQUENCES FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHY WHY WHY 

21. dean looking at cas for the last time bc he’s clearly thinking of sacrificing himself DO NOT TOUCH ME (also, this scene doesn’t exist) 

22. will i ever stop being salty (i love you jensen)

23. ok so... the brothers being arrested and taken to a super secret prison thing was probably a really effective cliffhanger (no), but how could one solve this impossible situation? easy peasy. here comes the deus ex machina, the pinnacle of lazy writing. nah, okay, it can be a valid plot device, but unfortunately here it sacrifices the only recurring woc this show has ever had. the aggravating factor is that her death comes at castiel’s hand, who then goes on to give one of the most emotional, moving, beautiful speeches this show has ever delivered (misha’s acting was the icing on the cake).   dabb literally tossed a hand grenade and hid behind one of the fan favorites delivering a tear-jerking speech. he’s a good writer, so this wasn’t accidental. i think this has to be acknowledged and discussed. 

24. i understand that billie was probably a carver’s “leftover” (that word is ugly, but i can’t think of other english words rn) they didn’t know what to do with, still there’s no reason, at this point, for lucifer to be still alive while billie had to die to fix a lazy cliffhanger. it’s really insensitive, to say the least. IF she’s really dead.

25. which makes me think of the possibility that she’s not really dead. i know that reapers are angels since s9 (thank you buckleming again), but she wasn’t like other reapers, right? maybe she's gonna pull a rowena and come back, angry as fuck. (someone write a fic about this, and i can assure you it will be better than anything we’re getting next this season) 

26. which, of course, is going to be a huge problem for cas. i know this show has huge problems with canon and loose ends, but whether billie is really gone for good or not, she said that if you break a deal made in blood, “there's consequences on a cosmic scale”. maybe this was just a line to justify cas’ actions immediately after and the billie’s killing, but then cas says this: “You made a stupid deal, and I broke it”.  who cares how he broke it, or that billie is gone, he still broke it. 

27. which brings us back to the bmol... because those guys don’t want loose ends. they want to make america safe again. as mick shady says, he wants a world where “no one has to die because of the supernatural”. if cas fucks up on a cosmic scale, shit’s about to come maybe. 

28. i’m not sure how i feel about billie’s death. she was the only threat to sam and dean. i mean, death is dead, god is on their side, i guess even amara now. these guys are potentially immune to death. so, what can threaten them now? i suppose the fear of losing the people they love. which is scary for reasons. 

29. (tw bad thoughts, also implied suicidal behavior) mary deciding to step up and kill herself to save her children wasn’t just maternal instict, if you know what i mean. cas saved her, recklessly breaking a deal that could have consequences on a cosmic scale. cas isn’t in a good place at the moment. cas has clearly stated that he would do anything to keep the winchesters safe. i’m a bit scared for what’s about to come. 

30. YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME. 

31. cas is always gonna save the winchesters, but who’s gonna save cas....? also I LOVE CASTIEL SO MUCH WOW

32. anyway, this episode hurt, but hurt so good. thank you dabb. 

33. but also fuck you for billie.