#gonna try kel with short hair next; see how that goes

[elusiiev]

omori headcanons: the brothers

hero:

when he was little, he used to tutor kel quite frequently. kel would keep all his notes from previous years for kel to use, and often didnt have much downtime on weekdays because of it. he didn't mind, though, he just wanted to make sure kel was doing well in school and enjoyed spending time with his little brother

he also didn't really have many friends his age aside from mari, choosing to spend his time studying if he wasn't running errands or hanging out with the rest of the gang. he also had a hard time making new friends, feeling the connection he already had with the gang could never be beaten out, therefore he never tried

when mari died, his grades suffered and he hardly passed that year. it unfortunately docked some of his chances for college, but didn't end up affecting him too badly

he went into college to become a pediatric psychologist, 'inspired' by mari's death to try his best to help anyone else who might've been under the same circumstances

when faced with The Truth, he freezes and ends up leaving the hospital immediately. he stayed home for the next couple weeks, and once he was mildly able to function again, he tried his best to get back into his work and college.

he does not hate sunny after the truth, however he tries to speak to sunny as little as possible after, still clearly affected. maybe after 5-10 years they would reconnect, but it would definitely take a while for hero to get into a stance where he feels like he can personally be ok talking to sunny

he goes on to be a psychologist for a few years after graduating before completely changing his career path and becoming a chef !

personally, i dont see hero dating again. i know its not very realistic, as someone's probably gonna get over soemthing that happened in their childhood like 20-30 years down the line but still.... im heromari forever ok... and if theres no mari then there's no one else for him /j

kel:

when he was younger, he was very active and had loads of constant energy. (he's 100% the hyperactive side of adhd) he did lots of sports and was actually pretty good at most sports with how frequently he played them, but his personal favorite was basketball. he is also an extremely sound sleeper, often using so much energy that he crashing towards the end of the day

he always had long hair since his parents could never get him to sit down for a haircut, he was just entirely uninterested and didnt like having someone touch his hair so much. when he got slightly older he got his hair cut relatively short, realized he liked longer hair, and kept growing it out and only getting occasional trims

he didnt spend too much time around the sporty kids, feeling that they were a little too rugged, so the gang was pretty much the only friends he hung out with outside of school

he struggled a lot at school, not because he's dumb, but because of the way everything was taught. he had a hard time grasping a lot of concepts, which is why hero tutored him so much. with hero's explanation and unique view of subjects he was able to understand things a lot better and keep his grades up around B's

however, when hero went to college, kel's grades and mental health suffered. kel was ALWAYS around hero, and even when things were bad, like when mari died, they were still together. now his friend group has broken apart, his brother is leaving, and he's even more unfocused than ever. he started taking basketball more seriously, knowing his height qualified him, and it was pretty much the only thing he was good at now

he hoped if he was good enough at basketball then his parents wouldn't be mad, that he'd still have something to show them at the end of the day, that he's not useless.

he talked more with the sporty kids, but didnt really enjoy himself, forming more surface level connections than anything

after the truth, kel tries his best to get sunny to say that he's joking, but to no avail. he feels the desperate need to forgive sunny, but just cant find it in him to do so. he misses the next few basketball games, trying to understand what had happened and trying to cheer hero up a little

kel graduates with relatively low grades, only really able to keep a passing score from his constant tutor-hopping

he goes to live with hero for a while, giving up on basketball from burnout and going towards minimum wage jobs for a while until he finally finds something he'd be interested in taking a job in, that being the pastry business

kel would find a partner at some point but i have no clue who they'd be

OK THATS IT!!! this was a lot of writing and a lot of procrastinating other things i should've been doing but thats ok

[foreverreverie]

Quick concept sketches of the Vuresk siblings; Kel is the eldest, and either Tanya or Ardon is the youngest

Need to play around with Kel, Ardon, and Tanya more; their face shapes and hair and the angles aren’t quite right :/ But that’s the fun part of character creation

Also! Tanya was one of my first genuine OCs, created around 2012 as my first D&D character, though without her brothers

[winchester90210]

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x09: The Gentle Art of Listening.

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

My work is not to be reposted and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is fine and encouraged!!)

Chapter Summary: Who the hell is Nina? 

Warnings: Mentions of sex, jealousy, swearing. 

Word count: 2,200

A/N: I did skip 1x08 due to there not being a ton to do with it, and if I did write it, it would have been reeeaally short haha. But that means there’s a bonus chapter of some kind coming soon! Next week we’re tackling 1x10: Isn’t It Romantic? which means the start of Dylan and Brenda!

Feedback is incredibly appreciated!

-

Crowds of people gathered around the schoolyard, hip-hop music booming and people cheering as the cheerleaders carried on their routine.

“Brandon, did you sign up for Battle of the Beverlies?” Steve taps his friend on the shoulder as he walks up, sun beaming brightly onto them both. His blonde curls were firm in their place, thanks to the substantial amount of hairspray he applied this morning.

“I would have, but since I work nights it’s difficult. What about you?” Brandon’s dirty blonde hair blew in his face, making him crinkle his nose.

“I’m in the uh, coed tug of war,” He smirks.

“Well, aren’t we all?” Dylan sneaks up behind them, in his usual white tee and leather jacket.

“Hey Dylan, I didn’t think grudge week would be your kind of thing,” Brandon greets.

“Grudge week is every guy’s thing,” Dylan chuckles as Steve snickers and puts on his sunglasses.

“What? I don’t get it,”

“Well, a lot of the girls get into the uh, the spirit of the scene and try to pick up older guys,” Steve grins, “Looks like Y/N’s enjoying this tradition herself.” He nods his head over to where you are– leaning with your back against the lockers, hip jutted out, twirling your hair as you talk up some senior jock. “Brandon, I thought you locked her down already?”

“Nah, she… we… agreed to be friends,” he explained for what must have been the umpteenth time that week. Brandon stiffened as he watched you over there with him, as the guy scribbles something down on a piece of paper and hands it to you.

-

“Mom, this is not funny,” Brandon gripes as his mother scrubbed at the dishes. He adjusts the cap on his head and starts chopping up a tomato.

“I didn’t say it was funny, it’s adorable!” She fawns.

“Adorable? How about psychotic?” He argues.

You roll your eyes, “Brandon, she has a crush on you! It’s cute!”

“Right! You should be flattered!” Mrs. Walsh smiles.

“Flattered that a 14-year-old follows me around all day?! And, you know, the worst part of it is, if I accidentally make eye contact with her she pretends she’s looking over the rainbow or something!” You instinctively roll your eyes for the second time. Boy, he was melodramatic sometimes.

“She’s just shy, honey, that’s all. What’s her name?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care!” He sure acted tough for a guy that was helping his mommy make dinner. And he sure was cute. Even with that dumb blue backwards hat on.

“Oh, you’re such a heartbreaker!” Cindy jokes, moving to set the table.

“It’s because he can afford to be,” you quip.

-

“So, d'ya hear about what Brandon got up to last night with Nina?” Steve wiggles his eyebrows as you both walk through the halls together.

“Nina?” Whatever. You’re friends. And he can talk to other girls. Nothing wrong with that. You don’t care. Nina who?

“Just this incredible older woman he met at the peach pit. They spent some time after work together. Brandon was… pleased,” okay, so you care a little bit.

“And? What’s your point?” You try to hide the eagerness in your voice.

“Get this! She gave him… a foot rub,” your hand immediately comes out and smacks him hard on the shoulder.

“Don’t scare me like that! You think I care if he’s getting massages from people?” You stare at him in disbelief and he laughs, happily.

“That might not be all he’s getting from her soon Y/N/N,”

-

Striding down the hall with Dylan, he begins to speak.

“Y'know, Brandon was asking my advice on making it with an older woman… I’m gonna guess that he wasn’t talking about you,” He grabs your book from you as you walk to study hall in the library. Tread lightly, Y/N. Dangerous territory. Be calm. Cool. Uninterested.

“And? What’d you say?!” Dammit.

“I told him what he wanted to know,” he shrugs.

“No! Don’t do that!” You’re doing great. Super chill.

“It’s fine, the guy has no idea what he’s doing!”

“But you still encouraged him,”

“What should I have said?”

“Anything! "No” or “Stop” or “Hey! What about Y/N?! Do her!”“

"Uh-huh,” the smile on his face was amused, with a familiar yet unknown sparkle in his eye, “And you do realize that would require actually telling him how you feel, right?” You sigh.

“I just can’t believe him, y'know? He refused to sleep with Sheryl because he wasn’t in love with her, but now he’s ready to give it up to some old lady masseuse?”

“…How’d you know she was a masseuse?”

“Steve likes to update me on all things Walsh, whether I want him to or not,” you both enter the library together, quiet chatter fills the room.

You loved talking to Dylan, whenever you talked he listened. Truly listened. He absorbed every single word that fell from your mouth– carefully, intently. It was so drastically different than talking to Steve, who loved annoying you, or Kelly, who you felt was too shallow at times to have a serious conversation with (Okay, it’s not that she’s shallow, she’s great! But she doesn’t like talking about anything more complicated than the sale at Henri Bendel’s or Donna’s impending nose job.)

And… Brenda? You loved her, but you couldn’t talk to her about the raging feelings you had for her brother. And you definitely couldn’t talk to her brother about it, either. Dylan on the other hand… you got each other. As cheesy as it sounds. He could come to you with anything, and you could come to him. And it just worked. You clicked. In like, a total friend way though.

“What about the time he spent the night with you? You weren’t complaining about his pre-marital exploits then,” His eyebrows go up as you both pull out your chairs from the wooden library table.

“Dylan, we didn’t have sex! We talked and I fell asleep in his bed. Fully clothed, platonic, unproblematic,” You sigh defeatedly, resting your chin in your hand, “I haven’t been able to get myself into the peach pit for a few weeks. Because then I’d have to see him in that stupid all-white uniform, looking all… Brandon-like and I don’t know what I’d do with myself. On one hand, I’m totally cool being his friend and on the other… I’m a wreck and I’m missing out on Nat’s apple pie because of it,”

“Well, how about this? We go to the pit around 5, and if you still feel awful after Nat’s apple pie then we can retreat back to my place and watch Animal Crackers. Deal?” You pause.

“You’re on, McKay,”

-

You, Kelly, and Brenda lay on Brenda’s bed, with you in the middle, watching the wooden ceiling fan swirl around and around and around.

“Where do you think we’ll be in 10 years?” Kelly’s voice is quiet under the whirr of the fan. “Like, do you think we’ll be in a good place? Happy?”

“I hope so,” you mumble.

“I’m sure you’ll be in Paris or Rome, with a fashion empire and a gorgeous husband,” Brenda smiles.

Steve and Brandon hold their ears to the bathroom door that connects the two bedrooms.

“Steve, I really don’t think this is a good idea–”

“Relax, it’s a great idea. It’s the only way to hear what actually goes on in there,” Steve scoffs, “Haven’t you spied on your sister before?”

“Yeah, when I was 12. I’m 17, dude,” He scolds him in a whisper as you and the girls chatter on the other side of the door.

“Do you think we’ll be married?” Brenda rests her hands under her head, her brown hair shiny and soft under her palm.

“Oh, totally! Or at least… close to it,” You smile.

“Bren, your husband is gonna be totally cool– like a musician or a race car driver or something. And Y/N/N, your husband’s… ” Her genuine smile morphs into a mischievous smirk “Steve.” You give her an offended gasp as you all erupt into giggles.

“No amount of money in the world, Kel,” you shake your head and sit up against Brenda’s headboard.

Brandon silently cracks up at his friend’s misfortune and perfect timing, and Steve delivers a hard hit to his shoulder.

“Actually, y'know who you’ll probably marry? Brandon,” You’re drop-dead silent. Brenda notices the look you’re giving her and she continues, “No, I’m serious! You guys are like, meant for each other. You’re basically the girl version of him– just prettier, funnier, less annoying, and…actually, majorly out of his league… but still, I think you guys would totally work.”

“There’s no way, he’s too… Brandon,” you reject, “And he’s your brother. I couldn’t do that, Bren. It’d be like Kelly dating my brother!”

“Well… is he cute?” Kelly smirks, blonde hair blowing softly under the fan. “Oh! You got that senior’s number for me, right?”

“Come on, I feel weird doing this,” Brandon protests, “If I want to know something I can just ask, I don’t have to invade her privacy.”

“It’s not like we’re watching them through a window, we’re just listening,”

“Look, you stay here and be creepy, but I have to get ready for work,” He stands up with a huff, leaving his tempestuous friend to his own devices.

-

“So?” Dylan folds his hands as you take your last bite of pie.

“You were right,” You concede, sliding the empty mini tin away from you, “You could say this pie was the answer to world peace and I’d believe you.”

“Want one more?”

“Ah, no I couldn’t. I should probably get going,”

“Crazy, have one more! On the house!”

“Really, I couldn’t,” you insist. Dylan holds up a finger and mouths “One more” and Nat is off into the kitchen.

“The secret is the sour cream,” Nat smiles, small pie in hand.

You look to Dylan, then to Nat. Why are they forcing pie onto you?

“Look, if it’s too much we can share it,” Dylan shrugs. You hand him a fork and leave yours on the counter.

“Brandon should be here soon if you want to stay a minute, I’m sure the kid would be happy to see you, you know… considering,”

“Considering?” You sip from your glass.

“Considering,” he winks, and in one swift motion he’s gone with your empty dish. Okay, you were sure of it. This entire town was on drugs.

Not even 5 minutes later, Brandon comes in through the back, all-white clothes adorning his figure. Heart be still.

“Oh, hey!” He smiles brightly, the scent of his cologne immediately apparent. (When did he start wearing cologne?)

“Oh, hi,” you take one last sip of your water, “I was actually just on my way out.”

“You haven’t even touched your pie yet! You love my pie!” Nat interjects.

“You sit and eat, I’ll be right back,” Dylan’s off into the bathroom and Nat’s disappeared suddenly into one of the booths.

Those bastards.

“So, what’s been going on, Y/N/N?”

“You saw me yesterday, not a ton,” you shrug and stick your fork in your pie, “Hung out with Brenda and Kelly, took a biology test, bought street drugs off some guy in a van,”

He chuckles brightly, “Productive day, huh?” He leans down, propping himself onto the brightly colored counter with his elbows.

“Oh yeah, this might be my favorite part though,” you barely nod as your eyes meet.

“Mine too,” He smiles bashfully, that twinkle in his eye going strong.

“Uh, the– the pie, obviously,”

“Oh yeah, no, the pie’s fantastic,” He grins, “do you want some ice cream with that?”

“Yeah, why not?”

-

The regular hustle and bustle of the hallways was a-go as Steve and Brandon trailed down them.

“Hey Brandon, whatever happened to that older chick that was coming onto you?”

“Oh, we’re just good friends,” He shrugs.

“Face it, you blew it!” Steve shakes his head as he speaks,

“Nothing was blown,” Brandon argued, “I decided against it and called it off.”

“You know what your problem is? You’re hung up on this age thing. What you need is a girl your own age! Someone spunky… annoying… hot, maybe midwestern!” Although those wouldn’t necessarily be Brandon’s choice of adjectives, he knew what his friend was getting to.

“Steve–”

“No, Brandon. I’m sick of you bitching and moaning about this girl, and I’m sick of her bitching about you. Look, I mean this in the friendliest way possible– it’s annoying and you’re both pathetic,”

Brandon’s brows furrow together, “Gee, thanks,”

“No, look, what I’m saying is… Instead of moaning apart… moan… together,” Steve’s eyebrows bounce up and down as he finishes his sentence, paired with his signature Cheshire grin. How long had he been preparing that line for?

“Y'know, that’s very insightful, but I think I’ve got it covered,” Brandon laughs, “But seriously, never give me relationship advice ever again.”

-

-

-

Taglist: @be-patient-be-good @mpmarypoppins @bevelyhills90210 @blueoz​ @harleylilo88 @princess-ghost-alien @hueycat2004

[selenelavellan]

Finding a Family

Concert AU

Dirthamen, Deceit, Fear, Thulin, and Kel belong to @feynites

Des and Selene’s POV for This Fill

TW for mentions of past drug abuse, blood, and very brief violence

Des has never been easily rattled. He couldn't be, of course. There were few constants in his life, growing up. Going from Aravel to Aravel, being sent from Clan Ralaferin to Clan Lavellan, leaving his first home with Selene and then leaving again when the Carta came after them. 

Des knows most things are temporary. That it's often not worth putting a lot of stock in things like The Future™, because it's not guaranteed. Just enjoy the present to the fullest, because it's all you've got.

But it's also possible he wasn't entirely lying, when he mentioned wanting children.

He just didn't necessarily want any of his own.

He's seen images of Aunts and Uncles who babysit other peoples kids, spoil them rotten, get loved to pieces, and then send them back home to let the parents deal with the fallout from the sugar and constant stimulation. Then the kids come screaming back all excited and happy the next week and give hugs and he gets to be their favorite family member. 

That's what he wants.

What Alaris is asking for though...That's...That's full on parenting. Discipline, and rules, and cleaning up diapers and setting boundaries and enforcing them. He'd be responsible for this poor kids life.

How could anyone think he's capable of something like that?

Could he be capable of something like that?

He reads the letter over, and over, and over. A slightly older clan member who left shortly after he and Selene did. Had a kid recently, but ended up succumbing to demonic possession in the end. Des wonders if maybe he should have paid more attention to Thulin.

Alaris points out a few of the similarities between the situation and his own in the letter, as though Des might not have seen them staring him in the face if he hadn't. As though he might've forgotten, somehow.

Des has tried forgetting those pieces of himself.

Lyrium's the only thing that's come close to helping, though. And no matter how much his body is crying out for some right now, for the clarity, for the rush, for the power...He can't. Not here.

Not now.

Alaris has a point, though. Raising Thulins daughter with the people who slaughtered her mother will only lead to resentment. 

Des would know. 

No matter how many times Ralaferins keeper tried to comfort him, no matter how gently they would brush through his hair, or assist him with his magic, all he could see on their hands was blood. His mothers blood. The blood of so many other mages they had failed, and struck down for it.

It made hunting easier, at least. Blood on his own hands was just another way to try to fit in.

Dirthamen knocks on his door for dinner, but the thought of eating now just makes his stomach turn.

“I'm busy, thanks. I'll eat later,” he calls through the door, still pacing back and forth in his bedroom.

He catches sight of himself in the vanity, and pauses.

Will he still be allowed to live here if he brings back a kid?

Will he be kicked out of their lives? Finally more trouble than he's worth now that there's a kid around?

...No, probably not. Dirthamen would adjust, most easily he thinks. Deceit could be a wild card, depending on who they feel like that day, but he's pretty sure they mentioned wanting a kid one day. Fear won't like the surprise, but they're softer than they'll admit. And Fear more than anyone would understand the risks to kicking a child out on the streets with an ex-junkie.

Sorry.

'Mage in Recovery', not ex-junkie.

Des lets out a heavy breath, sits down at the vanity, and begins to sort through his new nail polishes as a distraction.

What if he relapses? Kids shouldn't be around that sort of thing.

Deceit knocks on the door, asks if he wants anything. Unsure of how to answer, Des just responds that he's still busy, and he'll be out later. His phone buzzes not long after that with a text from Fear.

Another hour passes, and Des's nails have fully dried. His favorite magenta with a bold gold line slanting horizontally over his index fingers.

Selenes voice carries through the door.

Des stands to let her in; Selene always knows what to do. She'll understand.

“What's going on?” She asks as he closes the door behind her. “Dirthamen says you've been hiding in here for a while now.”

“Alaris sent me a letter,” Des admits. “I'm not sure what to do about it.”

Selenes eyebrows rise slightly in surprise at his indecision. “What...did the letter say?”

Des hesitantly hands her the letter, and starts rearranging his new nail colors into his larger collection and their respective box as he waits for her response.

“...holy shit,” she finally whispers, plopping down on the edge of his bed.

“I know.”

“What're you gonna do?”

“I don't know. I was hoping you'd have an opinion.”

Selene winces “This...this really isn't the kind of thing someone else can decide for you, Des.”

“I know! But this isn't like 'gee should I get that piece of lingerie in Dirthamens size or in Deceits' this is 'what am I going to do with the next eighteen plus years of my freaking life?'!” Des groans and reclines on his bed, feet up on his pillows as he settles his head into Selenes lap. “What would you do?”

Selenes fingers stroke slowly through the strands of his hair. Soothing, and familiar, and in a way that makes him ache for a bottle of homemade mead in his hands while his mind recalls the smell of embrium on her fingertips.

“I...don't think I'd make a very good parent,” she admits. “But I think you would, if you wanted to. You throw yourself into things fully, and without reservation. I think that's a trait that would only aid you, if you decide to pursue this.”

Des opens his eyes, just to half-lidded as he glances up at her. “Would you leave if I chose to raise the child?”

Selene sighs, gaze dropping from his walls to meet his own. “Probably not. I don't think there's much you could do at this point to get rid of me.”

“...What about the others?”

Selenes face drops a bit, at that. “I'm not sure,” she admits. “They love you, so, so much. That's very clear. They wouldn't kick you out I don't think. I've never seen them around kids before though, so...I don't really know, past that.”

“We're really bad at this decision making thing,” Des muses “It's a miracle anything gets done.”

“It's a long term commitment. It's alright to not have our minds immediately made up, I think.”

Des smiles at that, thankful for the reassurance that his uncertainty for what he wants isn't a bad sign. His eyes slide closed again as Selene continues running her fingers through his hair. 

His mind wanders, imagining what it might be like to raise a child here. 

Fear picked a home near a good school district, and they still have a few spare rooms so one could be converted to a nursery without too much trouble. And she can always sleep in here until that's done. 

Des could quit his job and stay home with her and Selene. Teach her how to read and walk and talk. 

Would she want to stay in touch with her roots? Will he and Selene have to teach her the elvhen they know? Will she want to go back to visit the clan? He wouldn't like that, but he wouldn't want to cut her off from them either, if she feels particularly drawn to the Dalish. He'd have to go, then. Selene can't go alone, not after the last time.

Selene shifts beneath him when someone knocks on the door, and goes to greet whoever is on the other side. There's a muffled conversation, and when she turns around it's with a bowl of ice cream and more cherries than is usually allowed, in a bowl that he was once assured by Selene was much too important to eat out of regularly.

He raises an eyebrow at it, but takes it without complaint.

He still feels pleasantly decadent eating out of it, and finishes quickly.

Selene leaves to take the dirty dishes to be washed, and he goes to finish sorting through his colors.

When she returns, he pats the space in front of him on the floor. She relents, and holds out one hand while he begins to paint her nails a deep, saturated purple and they continue discussing options and different paths to take. The conversation continues until long past her nails are dry and she's starting to doze off a bit. 

Des feels a little jittery still, but crawls beneath the covers anyways, safe in her arms as she holds him, her chest to his back and their legs tangled together.

He manages to get a few short bursts of sleep, but overall he finds himself just too concerned about the situation at hand to leave it alone.

Finally fed up with his own indecision, he turns, and gently shakes her awake.

Selene grumbles, one eye slowly opening, red and exhausted. He helps her sit up anyways while she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

“We have to go get her,” he announces.

Selene blinks slowly as his words wash over her “Ok,” she agrees with a yawn. “We'll tell the others at breakfast, and-”

“No, I mean we have to go get her now.”

Selene hesitates, turning on the screen of her phone to check the time. She winces as the light floods the room and lets out a heavy sigh “Des, it's 4 in the morning...”

“Great, we can be at the airport by 6! I'll order the tickets, go get your bag.”

“I could have to pack,” she grumbles back.

Des scoffs “You expect me to believe you don't have a getaway bag in the back of your closet?”

Selene relents at that, and returns in a few moments wearing a change of clothes and a face that she clearly splashed cold water on as Des prints out their confirmation.

Her duffle is slung over her shoulder, and he grins.

“I'll get us an Uber.”

–

They're at the airport, Des trading in their confirmation for tickets while Selene silently praises the caffeine gods for the drink in her hands and stomach and realizes they forgot to leave a note.

She shoots Dirthamen a quick text, hoping to contain any panic that might happen when they wake and realize that she and Des have left suddenly and without warning. For good measure, she reminds Des to text his manager that he won't be in to work today as well.

And then it's time to board, and Selene swallows the too hot coffee as quickly as she can, following Des through the terminal and into their seats.

Des hands her a piece of gum for take off, and lets out a heavy breath once they're safely up in the sky, his fingers twining through her own.

“We're really doing this...” he mutters.

She squeezes his hand in what she hopes is a reassuring manner. “It'll be fine. You're going to be a great dad. Besides, this is hardly the craziest thing you've ever done. You slayed a dragon, after all,” she jokes.

Des grins back, his usual confidence slowly returning “That's true. This is one lucky kid; how many can say they're being raised by an actual dragon slayer who lived to tell the tale? And I guess her mom'll be pretty cool too.”

Selene smiles, relaxing back into the seat as she tries not to think about her sudden upcoming motherhood.

She could really have used the nine months to prep, she thinks.

–

When they land, Selene pulls Des aside.

“I...brought our robes,” she admits.

“Seriously?”

“Well, we were going back to the clan, and when else were we gonna wear them, right?”

Des agrees, and takes his old mage robes and armor pieces from Selene before they commandeer one of the family bathrooms to change in.

“You know, while we're here...” he purrs, fingers trailing up her bared sides.

“We are not walking into camp smelling like sex,” she says decisively.

Des lets out a put upon sigh but doesn't push it any farther as he helps her secure her ties and she helps him fasten his own in turn. It's strange, seeing her in the emerald greens and golds again. They still bring out her eyes in a way that makes her look more like magic than mage, and he can't resist the urge to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes and press a soft kiss to her lips.

“Thank you,” he whispers, letting himself feel just a bit more vulnerable than he usually cares to as her forehead knocks gently against his own, and she ties off the leather belt on his waist.

She just gives him a soft hum in return, and he stares for a moment at his reflection in the mirror. His own robes still a deep reddish purple with black trim to help him remain hidden from sight while hunting. His nails are in stark contrast, a juxtaposition of the pieces of himself he's carved in his new life to his old one in a way that makes him feel delightfully rebellious.

“Ready?” Selene asks, finally settling on leaving her own hair loose in what he knows is her own form of rebellion and tucking her old clothes back into her bag.

“Ready.” he announces, as they head out of the airport, and towards the old paths that lead back to Clan Lavellan.

–

The trip is shorter than he remembers. Longer legs, maybe. Or just not having to carry goods with them, or worry about keeping pace with anyone else. It’s probably the rental car that makes the biggest difference, up until they have to leave it in a parking lot and make the rest of their way on foot.

Either way, he's still surprised to see the clearing when it reveals itself ahead of them.

Selene gives his hand one last squeeze and steps into camp first.

He almost doesn't get her out of the way in time, but the familiar sound of a taut bowstring being released is all too familiar.

The arrow sticks into her arm, raised in surprise at his grip on her shoulder, and she yells out in pain. Better her arm than the head it was aiming for, though.

It doesn't really make him any less angry.

“Who the fuck-” he screams, all heads turning to face himself and Selene now, as Alaris runs out from one side of the camp, and Elrogathe steps out from the other, bow still in hand, another arrow resting but ready to be shot at a moments notice.

“I warned her,” Elrogathe says as though it a defense.

Alaris yells something in elvish Des doesn't understand the exact meaning of anymore, but he knows it's not something you want to hear from a Keepers mouth in any context.

Elrogathe, to his credit, shrinks back slightly, and doesn't loose another arrow.

Alaris apologizes, and helps Des carry Selene back into his aravel while the rest of the clan whispers around them.

Des pretends not to hear words like 'cursed' and 'demons' being tossed around.

They settle her into a chair, and Des apologizes before roughly yanking out the arrow. Selene hisses and bites down on a piece of leather pressed between her teeth as she presses the wet gauze from Alaris onto the wound with enough pressure to hopefully slow the bleeding.

“I'm sorry,” Alaris sighs, handing Selene more gauze to help her patch herself up as best she can manage. “I didn't know he'd- Mythals grace, what do I do when my healer is the one trying to kill people.”

“It's fine,” she lies. “I should've been prepared for it. But this isn't why we came, so let's just-”

“Right, right.” Alaris agrees, leaning down and lifting a small, dark, round child from a pile of cushions next to him. She is swaddled in a soft cream blanket and onesie, and sleeping as Alaris hands her over to Des. “This is Thulins daughter. We found her when Thulin...” he trails off, and Selene and Des just nod in understanding, having already read the letter.

Possession is often not a pretty incident to deal with.

Selene moves to look at the young girl over Des's shoulder. Des is staring down at her in wonder, awkwardly adjusting his arms as though afraid that she might decide to suddenly fly out of them. The shifting wakes her though, face scrunching before her eyes blink open, and she stares up at the two of them.

A moment of silence passes, before Des quietly greets her with “Hello. Would you like to come home with us?”

The child, to her credit, doesn't start to cry. Instead, she reaches up for a bit of Des's hair that had fallen over his shoulder.

And pulls.

Selene moves in, carefully unwrapping the tiny fist with the hand on her still-good arm as quickly as she can manage. Her fist subsequently ends up around Selenes index finger, looking curiously at her still purple nails.

“You're a strong da'len aren't you,” Selene smiles down at her. “You're going to get into everything, I can tell.”

“A little troublemaker,” Des grins.

“Just like her parents,” Selene laughs. It sends the little girl into a laughing fit too, shaking Selenes finger in her grip without any real control. Once she's calmed a bit, Selene carefully pulls her finger back, and looks over at Des.

Des looks back at her, and hands the baby back to Alaris as he whips out his cellphone. The flash from his camera goes off, and he sends a quick text to Dirthamen along with the picture.

His phone rings again after a few minutes of cooing and playing with the baby while Alaris prepares a travel bag for and a bottle for them.

Selene checks it, and they share a slight breath of relief as she sends off the next series of texts to the others, and hopes they aren't causing too much trouble for them already.

She laughs when they tell her they're in a nearby hotel.

“They followed us,” she announces, and Des shakes his head.

“We should have known,” he shrugs. “It'll make things easier at least.”

“The others are here?” Alaris says with the smallest note of panic in his voice. For all he doesn't mind Selene and Des returning, he is still uncomfortable with total strangers wandering in and endangering his clan.

“They're near the airport,” Selene assures him. “They know not to come here, here.”

He relaxes a bit at that, and helps sling the pack of supplies over Selenes good side. He notes with concern that she is still bleeding through the gauze on her arm, but she assures him she'll look at it properly once she's able to do so safely.  Des carries the baby, carefully feeding her the bottle as Alaris escorts the pair out of camp, sending a warning glare towards Elrogethe who is watching the procession from in front of his own aravel with a clear line of tension in his shoulders.

Keeper Alaris thanks them as they reach the edge of his land, and they promise to care for the baby and to keep him updated if anything happens.

And then it is just the two of them, traveling together through the trails with a baby, and a hope that no one will be lost when they finally arrive at the hotel.

[dekumidoriyall]

I am a wreck man. I liked it better when I could go home and cry alone. But now "home" is ykws place and he sees me cry and I'm over it.

And if I just leave the place to cry he will also notice bc he pays too much attention which I'm not mad at I guess it's better than him not noticing anything at all which would probably make it worse. Like I know my brain would turn that into "wow he doesn't even notice when you're upset he doesn't care at all" which my ex never noticed and that was exactly the case sometimes. But then again if I actually wanted to fake it I could, but I try not to as much bc that only makes me feel worse. I'd rather not fake it, bc one that's more exhausting, and two, my brain would again try to convince me no one notices bc they don't care. And then I have to tell myself , like yeah no shit jazz you're great at faking it. So I try not to fake it with ykw, I just tone it down a bit and then will lie about it. Which is dumb and I'm glad he called me out on it. And I get he shouldn't have to drag it out of me but also I really do feel my own thoughts are sometimes irrational which is why I double layer my thoughts and have to think about them. And then it sucks when I know I'm being sad or upset for a dumb reason and then he wants to ask me about it and it's like I already know I'm dumb for even thinking this but I don't want him to know how dumb I think i am sometimes. At least how dumb my first thoughts can be sometimes. Bc like I said, I'll tell myself hey that's nonsensical. I am rational believe it or not, it's just the second layer which I thank God I'm self aware enough to at least acknowledge when my own thoughts or feelings are being dumb.

But I have been feeling distant lately and I'm sad about that at a surface level, bc I know my language is quality time and v close after that is physical touch. Like I think QT is 11 and PT is 8, and then it goes words of affirmation at 7 and then acts of service at 4 (which is weird bc I actually think this is how I show it most but I don't receive it the same) and then of course receiving gifts at 0 bc y'all know I don't care jack shit at all for things or gifts or stuff.

And it sucks bc I just live there. It's like we've said. We're just friends. So at not just the surface level but at the second level, I get even more upset with myself for being upset in the first place bc it's like c'mon jazz it doesn't matter, y'all don't owe each other anything. Y'all can talk to whomever. Y'all can do whatever tf y'all want. Y'all aren't together. It doesn't really matter. You know me, I'm no good in the middle or with uncertainty. Uncertainty is my Achilles heel.

But idk he hasn't been as cuddly lately, doesn't do the hand to waist thing almost at all anymore. We had sex (which I know is opposite of physically distant) but I dont even know where that came from but I craved the small stuff so much that I was like I'll take this if this is all I can get. I mean don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed it (although some foreplay would've been extra nice) and would ten ten do again but Physical touch isn't necessarily sex. For me it's the cuddling and the hugs and the orbiting and the almost hand holding and when the hand holding does happen it's nice. So it's not necessarily I'll take what I can get more so that I've been feeling a detachment and it was nice to feel wanted I guess. And i think this is what I like to use the most which is why I'm always like running my hands in his hair and beard and probably annoy him with the lack of physical space. But lately I feel I have to initiate all that or have to refrain completely bc I don't want to annoy him or suffocate him and again we aren't together so I shouldn't even be concerned with any of that. But I actually drafted a post about the sex thing but I couldn't even finish it bc I still am actually surprised by it. Like I honestly would've thought it was a dream if it weren't for me being sore. Like it had been months and wow it felt so great. But I literally have no idea where it came from. Literally a day before the boy and I were talking about a sermon about that. And don't get me wrong, I'd probably do it again, but there isn't a container at all right now. We aren't even dating and I can't justify it. Like of course I care about him and I have, ya know, those extra feelings, but as far as I know with him, I'm just a candidate. The "only candidate" as he put it a week or so ago, but who knows.

Again it comes back down to insecurity and uncertainty. But I put myself in this position. I started thinking about maybe I shouldve moved in with Momo but tbh I'd feel even more isolated and uncertain there so I cut that out thank God bc the enemy was really trying hard with that one.

Idk I guess nothing is really wrong it's just me I guess questioning my role in other people's lives. And I pray that I stop, bc at the end of the day it's just me and god and that relationship that matters.

Yeah I think my alignment is off, like pastor Steven furtick said in his contentment commandments sermon, if you feel like you're in a hurry, you're alignment is off. So I just need to refocus on God. Nothing else matters and I know it's easier said than done or even trying to convince me, but it won't stop me from trying.

Idk, I wish I cared less. About everything and everyone. All caring has ever gotten me is getting hurt.

And I don't want to talk about this which is why I'm writing it out. And if he needs to then I will try my best to talk it out and I don't want to not write on here bc I know he reads it, and I also don't want to refrain any of my feelings either bc this is the only way I can get them out. And sometimes I can't talk and be open about them and this is the next best thing. But I do promise to try. I am trying to be more open with him. And I wrote that thing about not being vulnerable with him and i don't want to go backwards. It was one of my intentions going into this year and I'm not gonna let one night that was bad timing ruin that. And honestly being vulnerable and open and honest with someone is very unlike me bc I am always on guard with people even though it doesn't seem it if you actually know me unless you're AJ or Kel who have gotten to know me under the surface bc even my daddy issues™ are open forum and I don't mind talking about that. But there are under the surface vulnerable feelings I've had on that that only few people know. So while it seems that I am open, I actually am always playing defense. Observing people and knowing more than I let on and feeling more than I let on. Idk I don't know if AJ gets the fact that I keep stuff to myself not bc I necessarily don't trust him, but bc the more people know about you the more they can hurt you. And idk aj knows more than Kel at this point when it comes to things that could potentially be used against me. And that's fucking terrifying.

And then always at the back of my head is this is all temporary. At any point he could get tired of me and I'd have to uproot and move again.

And you know what I have been giving him a lot of backstory lately. In the last month or so, since we had that talk about me being open, and since the first open up during Xmas and even before then when we kinda talked when we hot boxed the closet, I've been more open these past few weeks than I have the entirely of our friendship. And I don't get much back. I don't pry ever. It's not like I don't notice things. I just let him be and if he wants to tell me things then he can. Idk maybe he shows he cares by doing the prying and getting me to talk to him and tbh that's a good call bc if he didn't then I probs would spiral into a whole he doesn't care headspace. So I'm not gonna complain. And I hope he doesn't think that I don't care or notice, I just don't mind that he plays defense. Bc I do that with everyone. Well it's not that I don't mind, it's just i understand. But I notice when he gets heavy, and he won't talk to me about it or open up to me until after and even then he just brushes over it.

I don't know I feel like this post is going in circles but the more I write the more stuff is just coming to the forefront and i actually feel better but im not entirely sure any of this is coherent and also i probably misspoke on some things. But I feel better.

Long story short, I'll keep opening up bc it's something I haven't done so maybe it will be the thing that will help. And it's scary and I can't promise him 100 percent but I can promise to try and give more. I just need him to understand that I keep stuff to myself out of defense.

I'm not upset at him for anything even all the distance I've been feeling, it's just I'm sensitive to any slight change in behaviour, just like he is. He thinks he's the only keen one, and I'll give him props he's good, slightly better than me, I just don't speak on it. It doesn't bother me that he doesnt tell me everything. But my mind does go crazy with assumptions when I do notice any changes.

I just want us both to be light again. I think we've both been a bit heavy. I think we're both stressed about things that have nothing to do with each other but does affect our friendship.

We just both are people who get in our own heads. But we deal with it differently, which is okay. This is all a journey, a learning curve. And honestly it wont get better unless we both communicate better. But when neither of us likes to feel vulnerable or show weakness, it's kinda difficult. Especially me. I'm not gonna speak for him. I have to actively be aware of it. Its only 8 days into the yesr so I don't think I'm necessarily failing at choosing joy or opening up, I think it's the fact that I'm doing that is such a radical shift that I'm kinda grinding the gears within myself. So it's just growing pains.

Sorry for the long ass post I just needed a big mind dump and to turn my thoughts around from where they were bc I actually feel like I kinda made some progress within myself.

Anyway the other night was great, both AJ meeting my family and ya know coming back home. So I fully intend to still post that draft I was writing (I really still am in disbelief) bc it was about both those things. Just maybe when I let it sit for a bit longer. Also I kinda still wanna keep it for myself for a bit. I have a lot of thoughts about it. Good and maybe some, not bad, but just tangents I guess. So soon.

[not-so-correct-rpdr-quotes]

(All of the season 6 girls besides Joslyn, Dela, and Darienne are sitting together at breakfast at a hotel)

Darienne: *approaches the table with a confused expression* I woke up to a vase of my favorite flowers signed by Joslyn and a box of my favorite candies signed by Ben outside of my door this morning. What is going on?

Adore: They’re fighting to see which one of them is the nicest.

Darienne: *rolls her eyes* Again?! They always end in a tie. They can never come to a conclusion by the time our tour is over.

Courtney: I think Bendela has it this time. She told me all about some grand gesture that she was preparing for us.

Milk: We all know that Ben is the QUEEN of grand gestures.

Vivacious: *nods* This is true.

Bianca: *groans*

Adore: What?

Bianca: Joslyn told me that she was gonna do a “big grand gesture,” too.

Trinity: *groans* Every year with this crap.

Magnolia: I mean they have to stop eventually.

April: Do they? It seems like they have enough nice energy for everyone in the world.

Kelly: They’re like the Powerpuff Girls, except the professor poored in way to much nice.

Laganja: There were three Powerpuff Girls.

Kelly: The third one was Cynthia Lee Fontaine.

Gia: I mean, we might as well wait it out. We always get a shit ton of presents during their little competition.

Laganja: This is true! If we just wait for this grand gesture, we might get some real good goodies!

(The other girls nod, except for Bianca)

Bianca, with a hand on her face: *grumbles*

Adore: What was that, B?

Bianca: *grumbles slightly louder*

Adore: I still can’t hear you.

Bianca: *uncovers her face* I said, fine.

(The other girls cheer)

Woman at a nearby table: *shushes them*

Bianca: *flips her off*

(Later, after a full day of presents from both Joslyn and Dela giving the girls great gifts, the two of them gather everyone into Bianca and Adore’s shared room; everyone is silent for a bit)

Milk: *clears throat* So, uh...What’s going on? Are we like...figuring out who won or...?

(A moment of silence as Joslyn and Dela look at each other for a second, before grinning)

Joslyn: Actually, Dela and I decided to call a truce for the end of the day.

Dela: We have ordered something for you guys. It should be here any minute-

(Someone knocks on the door)

Dela: Ah! There it is! I’ll get it! *goes to get the door*

(A short minute passes before Dela comes back with cart with a large covered dish)

Joslyn: We bought something for everyone to enjoy! Dela, can you do the honors?

Dela: My pleasure! *points to April* Drumroll, please?

April: *does a drumroll*

Dela: *waits a few seconds, then uncovers the dish*

(A massive chocolate cake is revealed, and many girls gasp)

Joslyn: Don’t worry, it’s vegan and gluten-free!

Dela: Now, Joslyn, would you like to do the honors?

Joslyn: No, you should!

Dela: How about we both do the honors?

Joslyn: That sounds like a-

Bianca: Just cut the fucking cake already!

(Dela and Joslyn slowly cut the first slice of cake, as all the girls look on anxiously. They get lower...and lower...)

Bianca, under her breath: Come on, come on, speed it up...

(All of a sudden, as Dela and Joslyn hit right in the middle of the cake, it explodes, covering the room, and all the girls in cake)

Courtney: *gasps in shock*

Gia: *screams*

Adore: *tastes some cake that got her hair* Mmm, it’s good.

Joslyn: *starts laughing* Yes, we got you guys good!

Dela: *high fives her* I know right!

April: *trying to wipe cake off of her face* But why? What happened to you guy’s battle to see who is the nicest?

Joslyn: Well, we were gonna keep it up...

Dela: But we happened to run into each other during breakfast this morning and both happened to overhear you guys.

Joslyn: You guys were so excited about each of us’ grand gesture, that we decided to make our grand gesture together!

Dela: It is the nice thing to do, after all.

Joslyn: But then we thought about how much fun it would be if we instead just pranked you guy!

Dela: We tabled our competition till next tour.

Kelly: So whose idea was this?

Dela: Well it was Joslyn’s idea to prank you guys.

Joslyn: And Dela was the one to buy the cake.

Dela: So it was both of us!

Bianca: Well neither of you win this year, because this was ME AND ADORE’S ROOM AND NOW IT’S COVERED IN FUCKING CAKE!

Adore, still eating the cake: It’s really good cake.

Bianca: Adore!

Adore: Sorry.

Joslyn: Well... *looks at Dela*

Dela: To prove that we are still nice-

Milk: *is trying to get cake out of his eyes* People are literally calling you BenDeLaChrist online, Ben, this competition is overkill.

Dela: We’ve decided to sleep in you guy’s room for the night.

Joslyn: And in the morning we’ll clean everything up!

Magnolia: How is it really a prank if you’re happy about having to clean it up-

Bianca: Shut up, swordfish. Deal.

Adore: Just don’t look through the drawers.

(The girls start to get up and leave)

Darienne and Magnolia: *flips them both off on the way out*

Courtney: *still trying to get cake out of her hair* Night.

Trinity and Vivacious: *grumbles*

April and Kelly: *tries to find all the cake on her clothes*

Laganja and Gia: *keeps screaming about certain clothing items that have been ruined now*

Milk: *contemplating how she can make an outfit inspired by this*

Adore: *starts to leave while still eating cake, but stops and turns back* Seriously, don’t look in the drawers.

Bianca: *drags her out*

(A moment of silence)

Dela: *starts laughing*

Joslyn: *starts laughing as well*

(The two of the high five again)

Dela: That was a good one. *holds out hand* Truce?

Joslyn: Truce. *shakes her hand* Until next tour, of course.

Dela: *nods* Of course. Now, do you want the shower first?

Joslyn: Nah, there’s no point. We’ll just shower after cleaning up in the morning.

Dela: Good point. *goes over and lays down on one of the beds*

Joslyn: *lays down as well, then groans*

Dela: Did you lay down directly on a piece of cake?

Joslyn: Yes...

[floweringthewords]

Untitled Pt. 1 - Cup of Coffee.