#gonna try emergency app. from tomorrow

[talubld-archive]

my doctors appointment really can't come any sooner huh.

[pedroschka]

your one of my fave joe writers so here’s some prompts I’d love to see you work your ✨magic✨ on, ignore / do whatever just some ideas👀🙈

[ ] joe and reader going on a date to the aquarium? ✨✨✨

- [ ] I’m sure we’ve all seen that post from spain(?!) where joe brought everyone a round of shots and set a timer… but what about a blurb / imagine of that, but reader doesn’t drink OR OR there’s only one slice of lime/lemon left and two shots 👀👀

- [ ] Single mum reader x joe, in the middle of a date and the sitter calls as there’s an emergency👀👀👀

Dating app dilemma

Joseph Quinn x single!mum reader

A/n: ahh sorry it took me a while but I chose the third one, hope you like it! <3

Swiping left, left, left, hm not so bad...right, left again. Passing weird selfie poses, pictures with their pets...Where you would rather pick the pet, group pictures, pictures without their face on it, or the last category, simply not your type. Dating app dilemma.

Honestly, you didn't even know what you were looking for, after the first few minutes of swiping you knew that a Henry Cavill doppelganger was out of discussion. You just knew that after five years of being single and a growing collection inside your bedside table that it just wasn't enough anymore to soothe the aching feeling, you needed to get laid. You needed skin-to-skin. you needed intimacy with another person and not just five minutes alone with yourself and then rushing to pick up your daughter from school. So dating app it is.

After a little debate with yourself, while creating your profile and the question popping up if you're having children already you decided against it, it shouldn't matter if you were a single mum, it was just sex right? one night and never seeing each other again so why bother. this wasn't about her and you weren't interested in answering questions about her to total strangers. This was all about you.

It's easy to forget about yourself and your own needs when you're busy looking after another tiny human who is fully depending on you and your love and care. But now she's six and just started school, making friends, and rather wants to hang out with them after school and do sleepovers instead of spending her time with her mum. And that's okay. But you forgot how lonely it can get when coming home to an empty house and spending the night alone in your bed without a body to cuddle with.

After another few left swipes, your thump stills over the next profile. Joseph / 28 / actor. You scrolled through his pictures, him casually sitting with friends, drinking. A beany on his head, brown curls peaking out under it, smiling cheekily into the camera. the second with him, on the beach, shirtless, with sunglasses perched on his head and squinting into the camera. A good mixture between ordinary-looking but also hot and sweet British guy. The best one so far. His interests are nothing special though, reading, music, meeting friends, and going to theaters. But good enough to give it a try.

Taking the chance you decided to write him right away, luckily it was Friday so your daughter is gonna be with her friend until Saturday night, which means a nearly full day for you.

" hi, fancy a coffee tomorrow, see how it goes?"

Now it's on him to answer.

Luckily for both of you, you received a match half an hour later and his answer with suggestions for whereabouts and time. Perfect.

---

After getting off the phone with your daughter, just checking in on how it's going you started to make yourself ready for your date, could you even call it a date?

Joe and you agreed on meeting in a cafe luckily just a few walking minutes away from your home and you would lie to yourself if you would say you were not nervous, you couldn't remember when the last time was when you rummaged through your closet, changing your outfit over five times, angry with yourself for not owning anything near sexy, wardrobe full of comfy clothes. Burning yourself on your curling iron because in your head you already were ten steps ahead, rethinking your conversation topics because sadly, you can't have a one-night stand with a total stranger without having to talk to him first. Cleaning your flat, hiding everything that screams "here lives a child", and even making your bed even though you know you have to do it again after (hopefully) having sex in it. You were a mess to put it lightly.

As you arrived you quickly searched over the few guests hoping to still recognize him. A man is sitting in the right corner, sunglasses perched on his head full of tousled brown curls, a brown shirt with the last button ignored, and a necklace around his neck. Yep, that's him.

Walking straight up to him, he eventually lifted his head and after a few seconds he recognised you, a shy smile spreading across his lips as he stood up to greet you with a hug

A bit taken by surprise by this but also relieved that he made the decision for you on how to greet each other. Just the small touch seems to decrease your nerves on a more pleasant level where you don't feel like throwing up any second anymore.

You both sat down across from each other and you felt like you had been thrown back into your last job interview. His big brown eyes meet yours and create the most intense eye contact you only knew from when your daughter was still a newborn and kept staring at you with her big owlish eyes full of curiosity. But instead of melting into a puddle out of pure love you now stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to think of anything to sell yourself just right but your mind is clouded with anxiety and your fight-or-flight response is kicking in and you're ready to flee.

" So are we ready to order?"

His question is simple but still manage to overwhelm you

"Oh…yeah yeah sure "

Your whole appearance has to come off as very uncomfortable and just miserable because his next words made you look at him horrified

"Oh man, this is not how you imagined this, is it? Am I looking worse in real life?"

"Wha…no of course not! I'm so sorry! I'm not been on a date for a long time, to be honest between the guy with the picture of him and his dog with matching sunglasses and the other guy who asked me if I was more of a cheese or a ham kinda girl you are a jackpot already!" You panic, do you seriously fucked this all up in under five minutes because of your own body language betraying you?

Before you can spiral even more in self-pity you hear a deep cackle, oh he's laughing. it was a joke.

" I feel flattered, that's some serious competition I got here! I'm so glad you chose me!" he touched his chest in fake surprise

You giggled at his silliness, thankful that he was trying to lose up this whole situation and creating a comfortable atmosphere for both of you.

"But really, cheese or ham?" He raised one comical eyebrow, tilting his head a little, and looked at you expectantly making you giggle again

"I'm vegan so neither"

"Oh good to know! What do you usually order instead of normal coffee? Maybe I could give it a try " his entire demeanor changes instantly again, and he looks genuinely interested with his arms on the table, leaning forward.

Surprised by his unbiased reaction, not being used to not having to explain yourself or start a discussion over your chosen lifestyle you give him a grateful smile

" You usually can just ask for any non-dairy milk for your coffee but when I'm feeling extra fancy I like to order a vegan whipped coffee, that's basically just coffee and coconut sugar whisked together until it's super fluffy on top of any non-dairy milk, so it kinda looks like a caramel turd floating around" instantly cringing at your description for it you hide your face behind your hands " I...I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to compare food with poop I'm sorry "

"No, it sounds delicious! I think I'm gonna order the caramel turd " he starts laughing with you, still not taking his eyes off you. Giving you his full undivided attention like you are the only person that matters right now.

You can't remember the last time you laughed so much, Joe surprised you with one silly question or bad joke after another, at one point even imitating accents while reading the dishes on the menu, making you choke on your coffee which ended with him tapping you on the back and handing you a napkin to dry your teary eyes all while still giggling.

Right in the middle of him telling you the random story of how he got the little scar on his forehead you got interrupted by your phone ringing, seeing your friend's name on the display where your daughter is staying right now, You grimaced, signaling him that you're sorry but have to take it.

" What's going on?" You already have a bad feeling about this ,why else would she call

" I'm so sorry to bother but she has thrown up and is feeling a bit sick, I think It would be better if you could pick her up?"

" Yes yes of course" you looked at Joseph, who pretends to not listen to your call and inspected the menu with great interest " give me 20 minutes " at this he locks eyes with you and you could see his disappointment, guilt creeping up inside of you " thank you, bye!" You ended the call, closed your eyes frustrated, and taking a deep breath before looking at Joe again

"I'm so sorry but something really important came up and I really have to go" you're already standing up and collecting your bag, unbelievably uncomfortable and feeling like the rudest person having to cut it all off like this with no explanation for him.

"Oh uhm…yeah ok" he stood up too, looking bummed and equally unsure of how to act now "bye… I guess?"

"But it was really nice meeting you…bye" quickly turning towards the door, leaving Joe standing in front of two unfinished cups of coffee with hanging shoulders and multiple questions swimming around his head, asking himself if he did something wrong, maybe was too intrusive. Did you used one of those fake calls to get away from him? He really thought you both had a great time until now.

—

After taking care of your daughter and putting her in her bed you slumped yourself into the sofa grabbed a pillow beside you and pushed your face into it, muffling your frustrated groan. One date. The first date after five years and you fucked it up.

Deep inside you knew that this wasn't over the missed opportunity of getting laid, maybe it never was and you hoped for a deeper connection again.

Grabbing your phone from the table you searched for Joe's profile, it was just fair to explain yourself to him and apologize again right?! You still could see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes and you just can't handle the guilt.

You open the chat, and after writing, deleting, and writing again you just clicked on send

" Hey again. I feel really bad about how it ended today I had a really great time with you and thought I owe you an explanation at least. I have a six-year-old daughter and she was with her friend but she got sick and threw up so I had to pick her up. sorry for wasting your time ."

There was still a tiny spark of hope that maybe he was still interested and wanted to give this a second chance and even if not, to be mature enough to communicate this with you and not choose the easy way and just ghost you.

You watch in disappointment as the 'online' switched off and you were left on read.

the tiny spark goes out as quickly as a candle in the wind and it hurts, but you refuse to even shed a single tear about him

His lost.

Your disappointment morphed into anger at him and at yourself. What a silly idea to start trusting men again, you saw the last five years that you're fine without them. You should just focus on your daughter again. Why even waste your time going on dates with some arseholes who have the maturity level of your six-year-old, hell even she has more because she wouldn't ghost someone because they have a kid. Fuck him. fuck men.

The notification for a new message instantly forces you out of your empowering "stay single"- motivation speech and enlightens the spark right back as you gawk at his answer, neglecting everything you told yourself just seconds ago.

" So tomorrow, same place, same time? :)"

(reblogs and comments are very appreciated additional to your likes)

[sociallyawkwardseal]

Prompt: Fictober: “Check that again, are you sure?”/Lovetober Day 7: Storm

Fandom: School Bus Graveyard

Summary: A storm keeps the kids stuck at Ashlyn’s for a little longer than anticipated.

Content Warnings: None that I can think of!

Words: 663

     “We still have homework due tomorrow, so—” Ashlyn paused, her brow furrowing, as a low but heavy rumble rattled the shell of the bus. “Was it. Actually supposed to storm today?”

    Logan was the first to pull his phone out of his pocket and unlock it; he swiped and stayed still for a few seconds before nodding and raising his eyes to look at her. “It is.”

    “It’s looked rainy all day,” Aiden whistled, laying his head on his arms. “But man, if it’s gonna start pouring, that’s gonna suck to bike home in.”

    “We should probably get back inside,” Taylor said. “I don’t really know how I feel about being stuck in a bus shell during a storm.”

    Thunder cracked violently above the roof while rain pelted against the window of the living room; within minutes of them getting in through the back door, a drizzle had become a downpour. They sat in what had become their usual order for the cramped living room—Logan, sitting a few inches away from Tyler, Taylor, sitting with her shoulder pressed against Tyler’s, and Ben, mildly cramped between the arm rest and Taylor on one couch, and on the other, Aiden and Ashlyn sitting practically miles apart.

    Tyler held his arms over his chest, tapping a senseless, rapid rhythm on his elbow as he stared out the window. “So, when’s this supposed to let up?”

    “Well,” Logan’s voice came out hoarse, his eyes drifting from the window and down to the phone in his lap. “It’s… Kind of supposed to go on until three.”

    “Three? In the morning?”

    “In the morning…”

    “Check that again–are you sure?” Tyler leaned over, looking down at Logan’s phone screen as he closed and reopened the app.

    “It still says the same thing…”

    “Looks like we’re gonna be stranded.” Aiden chuckled, tossing his arm over the back of the couch. “It’s definitely not the worst place to be stranded.”

    “We’re stranded here every night,” Tyler shot back at him, his voice barely above a whisper. “What do you mean it’s not the worst place?”

    “I mean, we could be stuck, y’know, in the phantom dimension, too. And I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda glad that the weather there has been pretty consistent.”

    “Can we stop talking about that when we’re sitting in my living room?” Ashlyn hissed, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.

    “Op, you’ve got a point. Sorry.”

    “It’s fine, I just don’t want—” Ashlyn stopped and dropped her hand down into her lap as she looked towards the stairs in the kitchen; Mike had just emerged, his hand still on the wall as he landed from the last step. “Hey, dad.”

    “Hey, I’m gonna make some snacks while Em gets a few board games that we had stashed back out, if you guys actually wanna play those—when things calm down a little bit outside, we’ll drive each of you home? Hopefully there’s a lapse in the storm soon.”

    “Thanks! Ty and I really appreciate it.”

    “Just a heads-up that we might not be able to fit your bikes and Logan’s scooter in the back of the jeep, but we can try?”

    “Oh, it’s cool.” Aiden said. “Ben and I can just ride the bus home with Ash tomorrow or walk here, we pretty much live right next to each other, anyway.”

    “I’ll probably do that, too.” Logan raised his hand and offered a polite smile in Mike’s direction. “I appreciate that you were going to try, though.”

    “I kind of want to go home before we come here,” Tyler said. “We can just try to walk it.”

    “Nah, I can come pick you kids up? Walking here would take a lot longer than biking does.”

    “Are you sure?” Taylor asked, looking from Tyler to Mike, then back to Tyler. “We don’t want to cause you any hassle.”

    “No worries, I’ve got you two covered? Just text Ashlyn when you guys are ready for me to come get you after school.”

    “Thanks!” “It’s appreciated.”

[dmcoffee]

Journal is packed away but I need brain clarity.

I think I am sitting pretty between panic and disassociation, so here's me whinging about the chaos to get it of my brain because I cannot find my journal atm.

So! RV's got hiccups. Some of this I expected. My range of solutions and subsequent picking of more mechanically minded individuals brains has netted me bumpkis atm. (Pretty sure there's an electrical issue. Alternator is my guess.) My tools are limited. My funds are limited at this precise moment. (And I have to make sure I'm careful about keeping gas money available so I can work.)

And I haven't been able to really get in there and so any work sealing up holes, because current elevation and lack of a ladder prevents me from monkeying all over it. Still missing two massive windows, rendering it unsafe to use for sleeping atm. And I cannot move it to work on it. I did run some primer on the inside and treated some of the wood pieces (I think I can get by on 1-2 small spackle cans here, the damage there is minor.)

Packing is slow and overwhelming. I think its emotional, but I'll bear it in mind next time I have to go see the doctor. Considering how much my other siblings are getting fascinating diagnosis's recently, there's a chance I too may be not as balanced as I could be with medication or some other accommodation.

Right now however, it's like pulling teeth. And I'm physically exhausted. Pretty sure I've managed to remember all the meals I need to eat. Have more going now because I felt hungry, so I'm trusting that. Also good way to get rid of perishables.

Technically I should be out tomorrow. IDK how the hell that's gonna look. There is still so. much. stuff. And only the van to put what I'm keeping into it.

This place needs to be cleaned too. I'm not sure I can let myself be petty enough to leave it as this guy's problem, even if he is a shit landlord.

I also think I might be getting sick. I'm hoping that this fatigue and that feeling in the back of my throat are all just from stress and allergies. I can't afford to get sick. (I'm an American, duh.)

The really crappy part is I might have to ask to stay at someone's for a while. With my cat...

I do not want to do that. Logically I know that even with it being a temporary thing, it's a big ask. And my friends have said that's a better alternative to me sleeping out of my car...I just feel incredibly frustrated and ashamed to have to reach out.

I've reviewed everything I know about what's happened, and aside from some minor tweaks, I don't think I could've avoided this outcome though...

The mental health had to be addressed. The meds were from my doctor. The side effects weren't caused by anything I did. And I physically could not keep up. My job hunt was long and difficult. I interviewed for the same position at the same store 3 times! And they're still "hiring.". (How???? The place was always packed with eager applicants too.) I wasn't being picky, I just picked whatever I could do that would cover my rent. Not enough.

I had 6 months put back for emergencies like this. It wasn't enough.

I partially paid the landlord and kept him in the loop. (Something he didn't do for me, I might add.)

And then when I looked into what to do once he gave me my two weeks, I lucked into the RV deal. Because rent's too high or with unknown roommates. (Bonus points for them being college guys. I'm don't want to room with guys I don't know. Did ask 1 person I knew, but we couldn't make that happen.)

All in all? It all makes sense. It all sucks. And at most I could've...applied more than just 10 apps per day? That's it, I think...

Yet I still feel guilty, like I didn't do enough, because that's how I was taught you're supposed to think of people. If you can't see them burning themselves out first, then they clearly aren't trying, and are probably just mooches and manipulators. (Ironically, I can't hold this opinion of others, but I sure as hell apply it to myself.)

Even though a few steps here and there might've forestalled worse consequences. (I guess I could've asked for help to pay rent until I found a job, but...I hate that. Intensely.)

So I'm starting to fizzle a bit and I'm going to have to ask, and I hate that. So I'm mad with my situation. Frustrated that I'm not an island and the cool self-sufficient adult I've heard about in grown-ups myths. Mostly I just feel like a very sad houseplant. IDK....

[dzpenumbra]

2/3/23

This is a tough one. My cat is still not eating. I tried different foods, I tried cooking her egg whites. She would only eat some mayo and some dental treats, which I have now found out she swallowed whole.

I called the vet to update them. I got a vet tech to call right when they closed. She got me an appointment with another doctor tomorrow morning at 9AM. She said if there were any emergencies, call the ER vet. I asked what constituted an emergency, because... with cats, it's a bit different than dogs, in my experience. Dogs are just easier for me to read. They said vomiting, unsteady on her feet, trouble breathing, stuff like that. So they said "give her the mirtazapine (to stimulate hunger), get her off the gabapentin (might be suppressing hunger) and see where it goes from there". So... I tried to give her the mirtazapine. I have to put on a rubber glove to do it. I got the glove on and went to give it to her and she freaked out and ran and hid in a closet. I felt horrible. I threw the glove out.

I went to my therapy appointment. It was difficult, but good. Went all over the map, but it was insightful as always. As I left the appointment, I ordered takeout. I tried to give my cat her ear med again and succeeded this time, trying to give her treats to make it an easier process. But she was pissed, she ran upstairs to get away. The meds were already in her ear, but I needed to rub them in. So I went after her. And she started making this sound when she was in my bedroom, a sound like she got a piece of cobweb stuck in her mouth when she was hunting bugs. Like smacking her "lips".

I got the ear taken care of and got her downstairs, I went to give her another treat and noticed her mouth was like... foaming. Like bubbles around her mouth. I freaked out and called my mom. I guess it was just salivating from the treats? I gave her another treat and she did the same thing. So I chill a bit, get my food, sit down eat all of it, a TON of food. Then I hear her making noises out of my left ear (I have headphones in). She was puking by the litterbox. Puked up white goo and alll the treats. And I was just like... fuck. I went to clean it up and she ran and hid under the foldable wagon I use to bring packages and stuff to my apartment. She was very upset, tail whipping back and forth and shit.

She's still upset. So I called the ER. I was back and forth on it, but my mom urged me, so I did. I tried to nutshell the situation the best I could. The woman was very nice. She put me on hold. When she came back, she said the doctor she talked to advised that she be brought in for hospitalization, but that she may be okay to wait out the night - assuming this was her kidney disease advancing, which it very well may be. The doctor said they would not wait longer than my 9AM appointment tomorrow.

So... I had to make a tough call. And I decided to play it by ear at home. I really hope I don't regret this decision. I just... okay. If she doesn't have long left, I want her to be happy. So... I want to make a warm atmosphere where she can be loved tonight. Cuddle up in bed and rest. Do the medical stuff tomorrow. If it's not critical. It's not like she got hit by a car or something. Because she really does not like vets, medical stuff, all that. It stresses the fuck out of her. So... if this ends the same way either way... and she doesn't need to go in and get stuck with needles and shit tonight? If she can just rest here and we can do the whole "assess how bad it is" thing tomorrow? I think it's the better call.

And I've been saying she's 14 on here because my vet app keeps saying "your 14 year old cat". Nope. She's 16. Almost 17, actually. So... add in thyroid issues, kidney problems, etc... I'm trying to prepare myself that she may not have much time left. And I don't think anything they're gonna do tonight is going to "fix" her, just buy her time at the price of trauma. So... tomorrow is likely going to be a very intense day full of very hard decisions. But we're going to do our best.

I'm going to shut everything downstairs off and head up to see if she'll just chill in bed with me tonight. She's been upstairs in the bathroom all day. Hopefully we'll both rest well, the night will not be complicated any further, and we'll get some answers tomorrow. I'm very sad, I love her very much and I don't want her to be in pain. She deserves better than the suffering she is going through.

[subwaysurf45]

Tech problems (bucky x reader)

Summary: bucky doesn’t know how to work the TV, his new phone, anything. After getting made fun if he wants to quit but the reader helps him out.

Pairing: bucky barns x reader

Warning: mentions of death near the end, but it’s mostly fluff

Masterlist!

Bucky stood at the counter in the kitchen, full weight leaning on the concrete slab that most people ate off of. His eyebrows were basically touching as he fiddled with his phone that Tony just gave him, he just couldn’t figure it out for the life of him.

“Hey, old guy!” Tony walked in, “whatcha doing?” He walked over and peered over Bucky’s shoulder.

“Trying to…” his brain wasn’t focused on completing the sentence, more on creating an e-mail.

“I see,” Tony snatched the phone from Bucky’s hands and turned his back to him, Bucky tried to see what he was doing but Tony kept walking around. A little bit of anger grew inside him because Tony seemed just fine at working with tech- everyone did.

Steve had walked in, “Tony, what are you doing?” His voice was tired and annoyed, he already knew what was happening simply from the way Bucky looked longingly at Steve. “Tony-“

“Ah-ta-ta, let me help him.” Tony smirked, his voice dripping in sarcasm. “I’m doing it all for him, aaaand- done!” He turned and slapped the phone in the table, it looked like everyone else’s.

“What did you do to it?” Bucky asked, his anger coming through in his tone.

“Nothing, tin man- old man- silver hair, just nothing.” He seemed like he was telling the truth, “i just did it so you wouldn’t keep annoying me and asking so many god damn questions, jeez.” Tony scoffed and walked away, Bucky didn’t pick up the phone, rather stare at it.

“How stupid am I?” Bucky asked, “really, like you got this figured out in less than a week, Tony told me when I asked for the Bluetooth password.”

“Wifi.” Steve corrected.

“What?” Bucky looked over, “same thing, who cares…” Bucky waved him off, his head snapped up at Steve suppressing a laugh, his stomach sank, “what?” His voice light and almost a whisper.

“It’s not the same thing, very much not the same thing.” He laughed, Bucky sighed, he’d had enough of this. Bucky picked up the phone and walked down the hall, “oh, come on! I’m having fun with you!” Steve laughed.

~~~

You wiped the sweat from your forehead, training with Nat had just ended and you were heading back to your shared room with Bucky. As you walked past the kitchen you saw Steve looking at nothing, he hand kept his head up.

“Why the long face?” You panted, still needing to catch your breath.

“I made fun of Bucky, he’s mad now.” His mouth barley moved, the sentence was muffled.

“About what?” You asked softly but you were still mad, he made fun of your boyfriend.

“Him not knowing how to use tech,” Steve looked up and saw your jaw drop, “what?”

“Literally last night he was so upset because he called me when I was training and he used the emergency signal, so I came running to our room and he had no idea.” You looked towards the bedrooms, “he was so upset with himself that he made me scared, he was all in his head. I need to go check up on him,” you sighed and turned to go to your room; that hot shower had to wait.

Once you made it to your room you softly knocked on the door, “Bucky?” You called, when you heard a hum you opened the door a jar, seeing him slumped over with his phone in his hands. “Hey, babe.” He seemed to break out of his thoughts when you placed a hand on his back.

“Hi, doll face.” He tried to smile, “how’s training?” He looked over to you as you sat beside him.

“Very long and very tiring,” you chuckled, you knew if you asked how he was doing he might get mad or breakdown, “Steve told me what happened, he seemed sad when I was in the kitchen.” Your hand started to rub his upper back, making sure you didn’t hit any scars through the shirt. “You wanna talk about it?” His phone was still on the home page, all the apps were downloaded but you knew he didn’t do that himself.

“I don’t know anything,” he sighed, “i don’t know how to work my phone, the microwave, the TV…I don’t know how to use the system thing in here properly, I can barley understand cars these days, that’s why I use the motorcycle because they didn’t change much but-… y/n, everyone thinks it so funny, the old guy who doesn’t know jack shit about tech.” He slumped forward.

“I don’t think it’s funny,” you moved up to the back of his neck, knowing he likes when you get under into his scalp.

“You’re different.” He stated.

“How so?”

“Because you’ve never been mean to anyone, you’re this shining star, you’re a light and you’re never mean.” His eyes left his phone and he looked at your leg, not wanting to make eye contact after saying that.

Your heart melted, his lips turned up at the quickly kiss to his cheek. He looked over and kissed you back, your hands wrapped around his neck and his pulled your waist in. After pulling away your foreheads rested on one another’s.

“Let me teach you, yeah?” You whispered, “no jokes. No funny business. As long as you need, I’ll go through it all.” You leaned back and waiting for his response.

“I don’t wanna make you go through-“

“Nope. Final rule, no self-doubt.” You smiled, his lip pouted out and he tried to cover his face and blush.

“Okay,” he nodded, “teach me.”

“Not right now,” you laughed, Bucky quirked a brow, “I’m tired and sweaty and I feel gross, also, I would like some cuddles.” You stood and grabbed your towel and a change of comfy clothes, “tomorrow.”

~~~

It was the next day, Bucky sat on the bed as you walked around the TV in your shared room, deep down he wanted to take some notes but he knew if anyone found them, he’d never hear the end of it.

“So let’s start basic,” you stood in front of the blank TV, “let’s say you’ve lost he remote, this is how you control it. Right here,” you pointed to the circle with a line through the top symbol, “that is the universal signal for on and off, look for that. Then, once you’ve pressed it here is the little notches for the volume and then the channel notches.” You pointed as you went along the bottom of the screen.

“Sounds easy,” Bucky muttered more to himself.

“But we have a remote, here, same little symbol, on and off. There, that’s the volume, and the big circle can help navigate up and down, side to side.” You showed him up close, “lots of these buttons will never be used, so I won’t really go through them.” You waved it off. “Okay, test number one, turn of the tv.” You passed the remote.

“Okay…” bucky clicked the button with the symbol he now knew and the screen lit up, some random cartoon played, “yes!” He shit up and jumped, quickly catching himself he sat back down.

“Can you change the channel for me?” You asked, a smirk on your face from his reaction before, he clicked the channel button and it went to the news. “And turn it up, please.”

“Easy,” he smiled and clicked, no sound came out. “What?” He clicked again and the sound came back, but not louder.

“You hit the mute button, use the long button here,” you pointed, he clicked up and it went up one level, after catching on and holding it the volume kept going up, “Bucky-“ you tried to warn but the volume cut out completely.

“Shit.” He stood up, Bucky fiddled with the notches on the actual TV but nothing happened. “What did I do?” His face i genuine terror, “did I break it, oh god, Tony’s gonna get some mad.”

“You blew out the speakers,” after observing the smoke coming out from the side of the TV that was the only possible answer.

“I knew i’d mess it up, I get so cocky, I really thought I had it.” He paced around, tugging his hair.

“Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine,” you calmed him and sat him in the bed, “it’s hard at first but it will only get easier.” You smiled before pulling him into a hug, you could feel his sigh of defeat as he hugged back.

You both headed out to the kitchen, Bucky still in a mood from breaking the TV a couple minutes ago. You both had some coffee, yours with a little milk.

“Hello, lovebirds.” Tony walked in, Bucky looked right at his feet and tried not to look awkward. “What’s up with cyborg over here?” Tony giggled.

“Nothing,” you dipped your coffee, Bucky just nodded along.

“I got a notification that the speakers in your room were blown out,” Tony teased, Bucky stiffened and inches closer to you, “what happened?”

Bucky looked up, his mouth open and about to talk. You gently placed a hand on his chest and looked him in the eye, a way of saying ‘I got this’.

“I sat in the remote, turns out my ass poked it right at the volume and I couldn’t figure it out in time.” You laughed, Bucky looked at you crazy before forcing one out.

Tony hunched over, “I can picture that, oh wow- I wish I was there!” He cackled before turning away and walking down the hall, “it’ll be fixed by tomorrow!” He called over his shoulder.

~~~

It was lonely without you, it was very rare you’d go in missions without Bucky but also rare you’d go alone. It was a simple infiltrate, you were more on the espionage rather than Captain America side of powers. 

Bucky had tired to talk to Steve about letting someone go with you, this mission would involve zero contact with the base. But no one listened, it was always going to be you.

It had been a month, three quarters done with the they needed. The tech lesions had to be halted, you weren’t there to teach and Bucky refused to let anyone tell him anything about the tech in his room.

“If only you could see me, babe…” he whispered as he worked the TV, that was the only thing he knew, and he was great at it. Last week he recorded a show, he was never going to watch it, but it as recorded. He almost had a heart attack when the remote stopped working, but it just ran out of batteries.

After doing all the cool tricks he knew he looked over to your side of the bed, it was neatly made and seemed untouched. Whenever you’d be fine for even a night he’d sleep on the ground, but he promised he’d sleep on the bed, but he never rolled over or even sat on your side.

The one thing he missed was the way your shampoo stunk up the whole bed in a good way, when he’d wake up the morning after you’d showered he’d could smell your lavender shampoo right away, it almost puts him back to sleep. But as the days went on, it faded.

Bucky looked around before gently placing his face your pillow, almost like an afterthought of your sent came through; just barley there. His face hovered before he gave in and relaxed on it, he knew if he’d roll around the sent would fade quicker, he didn’t really care.

There was a hard spot on your pillow, he reached under and found a green spiral notebook. It didn’t have anything in the cover, once he opened it a gasp fell from his lips.

It was a notebook, for every piece of tech in the house. From his phone to how F.R.I.D.A.Y. works, it was all there. Intricate diagrams that where labeled, one page had everything he needed to know.

Bucky’s phone sat face down in his bedside table, he flipped the that page and looked it over. He picked up his phone and read through it all, slightly muttering then words that were written to himself like he was being taught.

“Okay, you got this,” he said as he pressed the on button, as he navigated around he learned how to add a contact, send and text, google, the a picture, send an email. Everything.

~~~

You walked into the compound completely exhausted, one black eye layer, the base had been infiltrated. You went to your mission report computer and Tony was there, he gave you your phone.

“Connect back to the wifi,” he nodded before leaving you to connect.

Once you were fully back online your phone began to buzz, over and over. Tons of notifications rolled in. You went to emails first.

From: bucky

To: y/n

Subject: test?

Hellooooooo this is a test, don’t worry about it!

You laughed and scrolled through the other emails, finding out they were all kind of the same, then you went to text messages.

There was a selfie of him holding the green book, his smile couldn’t have been wider. He sent three, probably by accident. But they were still cute.

So I figured hit text!

Kinda cool

I found the book, it was like Christmas

Anyway, I know you won’t read this but I think I’ll try the oven next, I’ll ask wanda about it.

As the texts went on, your heart started to drop and your stomach swirled. They had been getting progressively sadder.

Hey doll face, I hope you’re well, miss you

I miss you

I love you

I wanna marry you one day, maybe live on farm and have a few kids

If you want

Sent: two months ago

I finished your book, I think I know it all now, I’ve been going over those tests you put in the back sleeve, they’re really good

You’re very thoughtful

I know you can’t see this

I don’t know what to do with myself, this is very hard.

Sent: one month ago

Are you dead?

I had a dream you died in my arms, and I can’t tell if it was a flashback or a dream

I hope you’re not

I love you too much

Please come home

Please

I really need you

I wish I never learn how to use this shit, honestly, I can’t seem to put my phone down because this is all I have if you right now. I keep checking it to see if you’ve responded but I know you haven’t, but part of me wants you to respond so I know you’re alive.

I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.

Sent: 24 hours ago

You slammed the phone down and raced down the hall, you passed the kitchen and everyone who smiled at you because they hadn’t seen you in three months, they probably also thought you were dead.

You stopped right before the door, you could hear soft whimpers coming from inside.

“I miss you,” the voice was muffled.

You opened the door silently, you saw Bucky lying right next to your side of the bed, it was still perfectly made. You also saw what looked like glass shattered by the wall, a closer look and it was his phone.

“Bucky?” You asked.

His head shot up and he sat up straight, after wiping his face he ran right over to you. His hug pushed you back on the floor, he just stayed there.

“Don’t ever do that again, please.” His voice was still shaken, “I can’t go through that again.”

“Never again, i was so worried when I saw your text a minuet ago.” You whispered and ran your fingers through his hair.

“Your name in my phone, your the only one.” He sniffled, “it was like it was taunting me, I got really mad and I threw it.” He hugged you tighter, “you were supposed to come home two days ago.” He cried.

“I know,” you housed him and sat up, as he pulled away he saw your bruised face, his thumb gently traced the purple mark.

“I don’t want a phone, I like knowing about it, but I’ll only ever borrow yours.” He seemed like he was pledging something, like an oath.

“Done deal,” you pulled him in for a long kiss, hoping it would never end.

[zambie-trashart]

I Don’t Own an IPhone: Wanna Trade? Chapter 2

Masterlist

Previous: “Oh. My. Rao!” Jon screamed in the lobby and his body trembled with panicked breaths as a hand found its way to his shoulder. Jon looked at the person attempting to comfort him and saw a girl with ombre hair, dark skin, and glasses. “Merci?” Jon said confused but sending the girl a grateful smile. Fuck you Murphy’s Law.

.......

Chapter 2: I Just Realized My Boyfriend is a Dick

“I speak english sweetheart, what seems to be the problem?” she asked.

“I think I- no I know I switched phones with someone back in America before getting on the plane and now they have my phone somewhere, probably looking through my messages, my pictures, oh Rao my pictures,” Jon said and another wave of panic spread through the teen and the girl chuckled slightly.

“What scared the poor person is gonna see some package they weren’t expecting?” she asked having the audacity to laugh.

“Yeah, my rich famous boyfriend’s,” Jon said shaking her by the shoulders and her face sombered up.

“Well, let’s see what we can do to get you your phone back, I’m Alya.”

“Jon Kent,” Jon said and Alya’s eyes widened.

“As in like Lois Lane’s son?” Alya asked smiling widely. “As in like dating Damian Wayne Jonathan Kent?” Alya asked smile growing bigger than the Joker’s. “I can see why you need that phone back now.”

“I was supposed to be meeting the owner of the phone’s friends here, you wouldn’t happen to be friends with a girl named Marinette right cause I mean your name is Alya and she mentioned....” Jon started and Alya laughed as a boy came over to join her.

“Nino you’re not going to believe this, Marinette traded phones with that stranger that we’re supposed to show around,” Alya said laughing so hard she was almost crying now and Nino joined in the giggles.

“This isn’t funny as much as I want to trust your friend, she has no idea what kind of stuff is on my phone… she doesn’t even know who I am,” Jon said shaking Alya’s shoulders.

“You know your own phone number right? Why not just call it from the phone as an emergency call, and I do know her password if that’s a problem,” Alya said trying to calm down the panicked teen. “Also I don’t think Mari would be the type to leak those kinds of things,” Alya said nudging Jon who rolled his eyes. There weren’t even any dick picks on his phone, more like mission statements that had the exact time and place he was supposed to meet the heroes and stuff that could totally compromise his identity. He just hoped that Damian put a password on it.

Marinette stared up at the ceiling as the phone next to her kept buzzing. She didn’t want to be rude and look especially since Jon wouldn’t do the same with her phone, at least she hoped not but whoever this was really needed to stop texting. She picked up the phone and the screen opened almost immediately. No password.

From Dami: Beloved have you landed yet? Jon are you ok? Did something happen? I knew this was a bad idea. Let me call my father and I’ll be over there right away. He said I couldn’t go, that we needed space but please text me back so I know you’re ok Jon.

Marinette felt guilty for what she was about to do but if it would soothe the boy of the other end’s nerves about sweet Jon for even a moment, she would do it.

To Dami: Nothing is wrong, I just landed.

Marinette texted back nervously and she shut the phone off feeling dirty for lying to her new friend’s boyfriend. It was wrong, so wrong. Marinette picked up the phone and started scrolling through the pictures app curiously. It couldn’t help to indirectly get to know her new friend through pictures.

From Dami: Good to hear beloved, I was getting worried, get some rest we can talk tomorrow.

Marinette clicked on the text gnawing on her bottom lip. Did Jon seem like the type to say I love you after all this? There were no previous texts so it was obviously a new phone with no backups saved.

To Dami: I’ll do that, love you.

She responded and the text was left on read. “What an asshole,” Marinette said to herself before clicking back on the pictures app a bunch of pictures of a white dog with various people filled most of his camera roll as she scrolled through. Pictures of people who must have been family based on the glasses and familiar face shape took up a bunch too but one picture stood out to her the most. It was a selfie taken by a masked teen pressing his lips up to Superboy’s. She dropped the phone on the ground. “Shit.”

Jon paced against the floors of Alya and Nino’s apartment nervously. 

“Dude calm down, we’ll get this all figured out ok?” Nino said and Jon nodded as Nino called his phone number again with no answer. 

“Oh my Rao that asshole,” Jon said suddenly and Alya looked offended.

“Listen I’m sure Marinette just doesn’t want to answer on a stranger’s phone or she’s asleep, no reason to name call,” Alya said offended.

“Not her, Damian, he must have changed the phone number after it got leaked last week, I was missing my phone then suddenly Damian gets me a new one, it all makes sense now and now I have no idea what the number is,” Jon said burying his head in his hands. “That also means that my old one is in Marinette’s but that won’t help either,” Jon said slumping, pushing the Iphone across the table roughly.

“Wait did you say boyfriend?” Nino asked after a moment.

“Is that a problem here, Marinette seemed ok with it and so did Alya so,” Jon started looking panicked not wanting to lose one of the two people who could help him through this hectic circumstance.

“No not at all, it’s just Mari and Adrien have been off their game lately, maybe you could pretend to text Adrien as Marinette but you know flirtier a you style, you guys are a lot alike,” Nino suggested and Alya smirked.

“More like twins, but he’s got a point, I’m sure Marinette would do the same in your situation,” Alya said and Jon picked up the phone seeing a text from a weird name: Chaton.

“Who the hell is Chaton?” Jon asked and Alya looked at Nino and panicked. 

“Um, Marinette thinks our resident hero Chat Noir looks a little like Adrien it’s just a joke they have going on,” Alya said and Jon shrugged before remembering.

“You guys have heroes here, I forgot about that, do they like patrol or something it might be nice to get a glimpse of them,” Jon said attempting to get the information that was supposed to be on his phone from the Parisians.

“Yeah, they’re normally out at night and thanks to the time change you might just be able to see them at some point,” Nino said smiling.

Jon looked back down at the phone smiling. Perfect.

From Chaton: I’ll miss you tonight, good luck in Gotham.  I’m also sorry about earlier, I should have been nicer to you about the whole leaving thing. Dad’s just been getting worse lately, he never has any time left. Not like he ever did before though.

Jon had no idea how to react. Nino looked uncomfortable reading over his shoulder and Alya sighed.

To Chaton: It’s ok, I forgive you, I’m a bit tired after the flight, I’ll text you tomorrow though, I love you.

Jon hit send and got hit with a read. Jerk.

Nino put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s take you to your hotel and get you settled it,” Nino said and they left the comfort of the apartment. All Jon could think about was how bad he felt for poor Marinette.

taglist (open)

@jumpingjoy82 @liquid-luck-00 @megaafangirl @zorua-adorable @dreamykitty25 @pinkittwice @ghostdragonfang @ramos123 @redbullgivescaswings @jayjayspixiepop @sekhmet5 @blur-of-colours @roseisred  @nightlychaotic @ladybug-182 @novaloptr @prettylittlebutterflie @hammalammadamdam @niknak-3​ @certainmuffinbagelcalzone ​

[redhoodssweetheart]

Blackbird | One

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader slowly turning into a Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2K

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing, angst, some fluff, talk of having a dark soul and not being a good person, death mention, shot with a gun

Description: You were once a member of the BatFam known by the moniker Blackbird.   You and Dick Grayson were close, but when a tragic accident left many members of the team thinking you were dead you went into hiding and tried to build a new life for yourself. But now Dick is back and he’s about to find out your secret.

A/N:  You may recognize this from @writersfortheworld​ which I was once apart of.  I am moving my Marvel/DC stories from there to here.  Enjoy.

The rooftop was dark, little light from the street lamps below casting light this far up.  She preferred it this way, less time for her prey to catch wind of her if she were up here with no light then trying to avoid the yellow tinted pools the street lamps caused.

Below her was a man stalking an instant pedestrian.  She wondered why someone was out this late at night and alone no less.  The city wasn’t known for being safe in the nighttime.  She also wondered why the person hadn’t called a cab or hired one of those drivers from one of the apps they had nowadays.  That certainly would have been safer than this.

If she was going to act it had to be now before the mugger got any closer to the other person.  Swinging over the side of the building she dropped down in front of the man who came skidding to a stop.  “What the fu--”

“Ah, ah,” she chastised.  “There’s no need for such harsh language.”

The mugger was clearly frustrated that some masked vigilante had just interrupted his heist for the evening.  He lunged for her, but in a swift move she kicked him in the stomach and set him sprawling backward until he hit the pavement.  He was stunned for a moment before sitting up, “You’re gonna pay for that.”

She merely inspected her nails, “Am I though?”

The person who the mugger had attempted to rob had fled the scene the moment the masked woman had jumped down from the building behind them.  Their phone in their hand as they dialed nine one one to alert the police of what was going down on the corner of sixth street.

The mugger clamored to his feet and tried to come at her again, his fist aimed straight at her face, but she was quicker and ducked out of the way.  She laughed, which only spurred the man on.  “Come here!”  He yelled as he lunged for her again.

She jumped into the air and used his back as a springboard.  “Is that really the best you can do?”  She taunted, the distant sound of sirens piercing through the air.  “Well it looks like our playtime is over, now be a good boy and wait here until the cops show up and arrest you.”  She took his head and rammed it into one of the light poles knocking the man out.

Handcuffing him to that same light pole she took off into the night once more.  She was trying her hardest to go unnoticed by the law and others around her.  There was a reason she didn’t want to be discovered and had managed to protect her identity pretty well except for a few fuzzy photos bystanders had managed to snap of her.

The night was relatively slow after that as she picked her way across the city back to her apartment.  She was tired and just wanted to get a few hours of sleep before she had to be at her job the next morning.  Maybe tonight she could finally shut her brain down long enough to get some actual rest for once.

Doubtful, but a girl could wish.

She carefully opened her window and discovered that everything was how she had left it.  Pulling the mask from her face she headed for her room to turn on the shower.  Hunting down bad guys gave her a thrill like nothing ever would, but she always felt icky after a night out on the town.

Steam poured out of the bathroom letting her know that the shower was nice and warm.  The hot water relaxed her muscles and she hummed in content.  This was her favorite part of the evening.  These few minutes to herself where she could just relax and not have to worry about anything else.

When the water ran cold she grabbed her towel and stepped out of the bathroom to finish her nightly routine.  Tomorrow was going to be a good day, she could feel it in her bones.

Dick Grayson walked into the Batcave with a folder in his hands.  There was a new vigilante that had popped up in Preston City, no one knew much about this new player and the only photos there were, were all blurry and dark.  He wished that he could find out more about this new vigilante but it seemed he would have to go to Preston City himself and see this person up close.

“Bruce, I’m going to be out of town for a few days,” he said without looking up from his file.

“What for?”  Bruce had noticed Dick come in with the file in his hands and wondered what the former Robin had discovered.

Dick finally closed the file he was holding and met Bruce’s gaze, “There’s a new vigilante that’s sprung up in Preston City.  I was gonna head there tomorrow and see if I could recruit them.  Maybe offer them training and get them on our side.”

“No,” Bruce shook his head.  “The League and I have discussed it and we’d rather not bring in the vigilante.”

Dick was confused, “Why the hell not?  We’re always looking for new members to bring in and they could be useful to have around.”

“Don’t worry about it, Dick.  Just leave this one alone for now.”  He turned his attention back to his computer and hoped that Dick would drop the subject.

Dick stood there for a moment just staring at Bruce’s back wondering what the hell was going on with him.  Normally the League looked for new recruits, it was better if the vigilantes that sprung up were watched by the leaders than running around causing problems on their own.

When Dick saw that this was no longer up for debate with Bruce, he huffed and left the Batcave.  He still had plans to go to Preston City no matter what Bruce or the League had to say about it.  His gut was telling him something different and he was going to listen.

Bruce waited until he heard the doors to the elevator slide shut before he picked up his phone and dialed a number.  “It’s me,” he said.  “Dick’s going to be heading your way tomorrow.  Be careful.”  With that, he hung up and set his phone down.  Steepling his fingers together he leaned back in his chair and stared blanking at the computer before him.

“How do you know Master Dick is going to be heading her way, sir?”  Alfred asked as he emerged from the shadows.

Sometimes Bruce swore that Alfred had a superpower of knowing when something was bothering one of the people living under the same roof as him.  “Dick is impulsive and if he thinks something is for the better good of the world then he’s going to do it.  Tomorrow he’ll be heading for Preston City and I’m not sure he’s going to like what he finds there.”

She set her phone back on the nightstand and stared at the wall in front of her.  This was the exact reason she had been so careful.  She didn’t need him coming into her city and messing up the life she had built for herself.

“What am I going to do?”  She whispered into the darkness of her room.

She could take a few days off.  With Nightwing in the area he could handle any small crimes he came upon.  The city would be safe until he grew tired of waiting for her to come out.  But she knew she wasn’t going to do that.

Growling she stood and headed into her living room to try and find something to watch.

Another sleepless night on the books.

“You ready Blackbird?”  Dick looked over at her, his usual carefree grin on his face.

She rolled her eyes and pulled her gloves a bit tighter, “I’m not the one that needs to be focused right now.  Keep your eyes on the prize, Nightwing.”  He chuckled and knew that she wanted to use his last name.

“Focus you two,” came Bruce’s voice over the earpiece.  “We can’t let Luthor or any of the others escape.  Remember what’s at stake here.”

Luthor had banded together with the likes of Poison Ivy, Deathstroke, Black Atom, Deadshot, and Killer Frost to try and steal a nuclear reactor.  The League had called in all the help that they could get to stop them before it was too late.

Dick’s eyes scanned the road and tapped her on the shoulder, “There.”

She followed to where he was pointing and saw the flash of headlights in the distance.  “They’re here,” she warned.

Things hadn’t gone as planned though.  There were more villains there than the intel had said and the heroes were ambushed.  She and Dick were on the roof fighting off Harley Quinn and Joker when the Joker had pulled a gun and shot her.

“Blackbird!”  Dick had shouted as she went falling over the side of the building, pain blooming in her chest.  

That had been the last thing she could remember before the world went dark around her and she was lost in a sea of pain.

[jaefluenza]

A Roadtrip with a Stranger | J.jh

one important rule: do not fall in love 🍑

🔅 4,831k words

🔅 fluff, overseas student!characters and more fluff!!!

🔅 youtuber!jung jaehyun x reader

🔅 warning: i didn’t proofread this :(

Hey! It’s been so long since I write on this platform. I hope you guys still like my work cause I’ve been working hard to get the desire to write again. Things has been rough for me mentally that makes me kinda lost the feeling of writing. But I decide to write again, yay! Oh and this work was inspired by an admirable travel vlog by Valspire Family where he went on a roadtrip with a stranger. I’ll put the link to the video at the very end of this work. Hope you like it, and I’m sorry that it’s not gender-neutral but you can use your own imagine from this one i guess :) love y’all.

Jaehyun swam through his e-mails. Okay, no more AdSense pouring in... He wondered. It seems like he needs to create a new content. So, Jung Jaehyun right here is a travel youtuber, where he often travels from place to place, all by himself. He loves traveling. He did it even before he discovered a whole new thing called YouTube. Yeah, that time, he travels by the help of his parents. As an abroad student, he relied a lot on his parents back in their hometown. So he saved some money to travel from close places to places before he eventually wanted to travel overseas as well. Jaehyun learned that he can’t keep using his pocket money to travel forever, he needs to look for a better way.

So when his friends told him to start a YouTube channel, he didn’t even hesitate. As luck sides with him, he started to look through his old memory card where he put all of his videos and photos of his traveling journey. He was so glad that he kept all of them, even though he would reminisce on how he almost drop his camera on a cliff while doing a cheap vlog. Jaehyun uploaded the videos that he edited at 2 am, after doing the assignment he got from college. Such a model student, indeed... And guess what? People love him! His first video got 10,000 views and 167 comments about how he captured the moment beautifully. He even gained 450 new subscribers on his first day of being YouTuber.

Now, after two months of uploading his old local travel videos, he gained more than 23,000 subscribers and thousands and thousands of views, he finally gained independent money from all the ad-sense he received from his videos. So, he’s ready for a new level of adventure, of course, on his own. “Where would I go....?”

He dives through the mailbox again as he only looks randomly at the screen, and suddenly a notification pops up to his surprise. “Y/n (surname)?” He clicked the new e-mail right away, unbothered to look at the subject line first.

“Hey, do you want to go on a roadtrip with me, I guess? this my number, 0xxxxxxxxx text me 🤙”

“Holy shi-” Jaehyun almost cursed before he closes his mouth, shocked by the new thing he discovered on the Macbook screen. A stranger, asking him to go on a roadtrip? Wait, is this real? Well, it has been one of his goals to travel with a stranger, but when he actually goes through it, his head feels like falling into the floor.

He typed the number on the dial pad and add the new contact on his phone. He clicked the message app but before he’s even able to type what he’d want to say, his hand shakes in nervousness. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s talking to a stranger. He has several moments where he needs to ask some other students he doesn’t know because he has to finish the group project given, but this one feels so different. The thought of going with someone you don’t know if it’s a he or she, spending time with them in the coldness of the night, holding hands with them when you reach the top of an abandoned tower, or holding on an urge to kiss them when it gets too warm in the car... Well, Jaehyun is now thinking so hard when he doesn’t need to. “Okay, okay, let’s get this done. Ask her what’s up and you’re done,” He reassured himself.

“Hey, it’s me Jaehyun. I saw your mail. What’s up?” Sent.

“Okay, okay. That’s good, you did it. Now let’s just eat some chips before they actually reply-” A familiar notification pops up and he can’t push his head away from his phone anymore.

“Omg hi! That was such a fast response! Thank you so much for texting me, I’m such a fan! Uh anyway, i’m (y/n). I want to know if you’re interested to go to the national flower festival with me which is happening in 10 days and if we’re heading there by a van it will be a 4 days travel and we still have 5 days to prepare and tour around the city.”

“Fantastic. Sure. So when do we meet tho?”

“Tomorrow, I guess?”

“Sure. See ya!”

“So, what makes you so excited today, Mr. Jung? I’ve never seen you this cheerful around college since the first day of your youtuber life.” Johnny chirped at the young man. “I’ll be meeting someone new today,” he replied. Johnny rubbed his ears together to listen more carefully simply because he doesn’t believe that his friend’s gonna meet, possibly a new girl?

“I don’t know, john. They could be a he or a she. They only sent me a mail.”

Later that evening, Jaehyun finds himself waiting in the restaurant where she told him to meet up. He glanced at his watch as he waits patiently and he naturally feels like he’s going on a blind date. He holds himself not to order anything until the person’s arrived.

“Oh my god, it has been only 15 minutes but why do I start to feel like I’ve been scammed?” Almost a minute after he said that, a cheerful young lady walked towards his table and asked, “Jaehyun Jung, am I right?” Damn. This is real. “Uh yeah. Hi! Nice to finally meet you, (Y/n.)” He nervously reach out his hand for a shake and she gladly shakes his hand in return. 

“So, guess we now have to set some plan, do we?” Jaehyun said. Afterall, suggesting a plan making seems to be a meaningless idea because when the girl explained the route plan to the festival, he only got mesmerized, lost in her excited eyes. “Hey, are you listening?” Her gentle accent got him right back into his senses and he only laugh while scratching his nape awkwardly. “Woah, I can’t believe a famous travel youtuber like you aren’t that prepared for a kinda long roadtrip like this. Are you even experienced?” She teased him a smile.

“Hey, that’s mean,” he pouted. “I’m ready, more than ever, if you would know. But, well, this traveling with stranger thingy is kind of new to me so... bare with me, please?”

She smirked, “Hell yeah. It’s my first time, too.”

The two then decided to go buy the things they would need in the van. (Y/n) was the one to rent the van and it was decided when the two agreed that they can only afford an old small camper van fit for two people to sleep in the back seats. So they got almost everything such as blankets, sleeping bags, some little decorations to set the mood, and of course, some snacks and beverages. “I’m surprised that you hate redbulls.” Jaehyun teased the younger lady. 

“Dude, me being overly happy doesn’t mean that I drink redbulls... I only drink eight shots of coffee.”

“Damn, that makes sense, too,” he replied with a cheeky smile.

On the first day of a long drive through so many lonely highways, things weren’t going awkward, thank goodness. She comfortably talks to him like he’s an old friend, and he only replies with grins and smiles. It’s all good, until things got deeper as the sun emerges down the ground.

“Alright, let me set my other camera before we grab dinner.” Jaehyun shot up from his camping chair to the van after he set the campfire to warm them both. “Sure, indie boy.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“But you are.. an indie boy.”

“Okay, you won’t stop calling me that, huh?”

(Y/n) put her hand under her chin, looking blankly at the fire, reflecting so hard about how she actually starts to enjoy this trip, when she only meet him yesterday. “Hey, what makes you look so serious like that?” The man sat back on his chair after he successfully brought her back into her senses real quick. 

“Nuh-uh, do you really want me to think out loud?” “Oh, no thanks. Now I regret for worrying.” She chuckled lightly. 

“You know what, when I told you that I’m a fan of your channel, I really meant it. I’ve been a subscriber since you only have, uhm, from what I remember, 242 subscribers, I guess? And fun fact, I’m actually in the same major as you but you won’t notice me, anyway. I’m too quiet.” Jaehyun nearly drop his foldable cup when he heard that. “What? Seriously? You’re in the same college- no, same major as me? How could I- Oh don’t worry, I also am way too quiet for my own being. I don’t really make a lot of friends at college. No one really knows who I am if it’s not for my public channel.”

“I can see that you have such a nice personality. I always love how you expressed your hidden feelings through your vlogs. They’re beautiful.”

“Is that a way to say that I’m pretty?” He winked. “Oh come on, (Y/n). Just diss me like you’ve been doing for the past two days of us knowing each other better.” Again, she laughs.

“Do you know what’s the coolest thing ever in this trip?” She asked. “What is it?”

“It is how I made one significant rule in this trip, that is... to not fall in love with each other.” And somehow, Jaehyun lost his smile for awhile. “Oh, really? Well, it’s not quite hard,” he faked a smirk. “You’re mean.”

“Huh, actually, what makes you think that?” He asked sheepishly. He doesn’t want her to catch what’s happening, like how he actually doesn’t really agree with the ‘significant’ rule. “I don’t know. It’s just, my actual purpose of this trip was just to... you know, gain a friend. And that friend turns out to be you! And falling in love means you’re going to lose someone at the end and I hate to lose a friend I just gained from this trip.”

“Ah... that makes sense. But love doesn’t always goes into an end, Y/n.”

“It does,” she smiled with a visible hint of pain, and Jaehyun hates that. “I had the experience. I’m not trying to act like a sad bitch or something, but falling in love sucks. It means you’re ready for a freaking goodbye and farewell.”

He was going to say something but she cuts him up by getting off her chair, possibly ready to cook instant ramen for dinner. “Alright, my stomach’s grumbling. I’m boiling the water, and you, mister, help me open up the packs, please?” And when he looked at her pair of watery eyes, he decided not to say something and replied with a smile. “Yes, maam.”

The night gets colder and now both the youngsters are heading to bed– the back uncovered seats in the van. “So, this is where we’re going to sleep. As you can see, (Y/n) over here is alread inside her sleeping bag. This is going to be such a great sleepover, I guess?” He snickered. “Don’t lie, Jung. I’m gonna put a bug inside your bag tonight when you’re asleep.”

He turned the camera off and lay down beside her sleeping bag, dropping more blankets around him to cover his body better. “This is our first sleep, you know?”

“That’s true. We might wake up like dead.” She said something gibberish after that along with a yawn. “It’s getting hot in here.” She added. (Y/n) wriggled out of her sleeping bag to get more cool air but Jaehyun only looked at her with a weird look. “I’m curling my body into a ball like a caterpillar and you said it’s getting hotter? You’re unbelievable.”

“You clearly haven’t found yourself getting stuck in a snowstorm in Everest, have you?” “I am not that experienced yet. Have you either?” “Nah, I would die.” “Gosh.”

Jaehyun keeps his glances trained at the younger lady, wanting so much to feel the warmth of her body next to him, to warm him- or maybe each other. “Are you sure you’re not cold?” He asked. “Yeah, I’m getting comfortable- not really, actually. Urgh, what am I talking about...”

He chuckled. “Come here. There’s only both of us here, so practically, I am your heater. Besides, it kinda sucks that we cannot afford a van that has a cool heater inside. Uhm.. what I mean is.. do you want to cuddle?”

(Y/n) turned her body to face him. She actually shifted closer but Jaehyun caught the signs that she actually doesn’t want to show her consent. “Come here,” he said gently. “B-but, what about the rule?”

“Cutie, we cuddling doesn’t mean that we’re falling in love. We only need warmth.” Jaehyun put his arm around her without hesitance and she accepted his secure arms. She found herself getting sleepier than ever and now the screen in her sight went black. Jaehyun smiled at the peaceful sight, and he carressed her cheeks gently, not wanting to wake her up, as he says, “Now I’m actually glad that we get this non-heater van. I can become your warmth everytime.” That night, he slept with a smile plestered on his face.

The sun rises on sight better than yesterday as it prisms over the medium-sized windows of the van and light starts to fill in the narrow space, replacing the coldness. She wakes up first, feeling the ray hits her face warmly. Oh my, it’s already morning...

As cliche as it looks like, when she wants to get up she could feel a pair of strong arms securing themselves around her body. Well, she’s not that stupid to not realize who’s the owner, the only guy she has been with over the past few days. She wanted to wriggle out of his arms, but her brain failed to command her body when the heart does what it wants. And it gets what it wants.

(Y/n) feels something different when she’s about two centimeters away from his face, and it surely feels so different when it comes to only seeing him through her iPad screen. But she doesn’t get it. Why is he... so gorgeous? She was about to stare longer but then he opens his eyes beautifully. “Why are you staring at me?” She flinched, not because she was shocked when he woke up, well actually that’s one of the reason, but, actually, because of his raspy morning voice. They sound kind of.. angelic.

“Wake up, let’s see the sunrise.” She finally wriggles out of his arms and goes to open the door. The cool breeze started to hit her lightly, almost makes her flying aesthetically, as she wished that she could wake up breathing this kind of air every morning. “Well, I didn’t know the sun could look this pretty, and we paid for nothing at all.” Jaehyun stood behind her while doing some stretches because his arms were stuck cuddling her last night, not something he could complain about, though.

“Get your camera out, bud. This will definitely get you hundred thousands of view, I’m sure.”

They ended up playing under the warming sun around the van, the camera only watching them. It feels like they are owning the world and she feels so wonderful. She feels so blessed, and it amazes her that she could have this happening with a complete stranger, a young man that starts to fill in her empty insides. She was reassured that impossible things could happen.

“So where are we heading now?” Jaehyun put the camera on the dashboard while he stole a glance at the driver besides him. “We’re passing a small city near here and we’re gonna walk around to see if there’s anything fun to visit.” (Y/n) was so glad that she’s the one driving, otherwise she wouldn’t have any other reason for not looking back at his eyes.

“Or maybe we can just rely on Google.” Jaehyun added. “Nah, that’s just not fun. We still have 14 hours of free times before we have to catch up to the festival.”

“So, yeap. I think we’re being super rebellious right now, slowing down our trip, or maybe (Y/n) right here loves to stay longer with me- Ouch!”

They drove past the yellowish trees and even though it’s in the middle of the day when the sun’s supposed to be up right above the van, the yellowish sky around them doesn’t support the cool breeze Jaehyun feels whenever he put his hand out of the window.

“Okay, I’m trying to wake myself up! Ready?” Jaehyun chuckled before he wobbles his head lightly, preparing himself to press the play button. The girl nodded excitedly, trying a little bit hard to not get so excited because she’s driving. Jaehyun pressed the button and the rock and roll song starts to fill in the car. She laughed at how he vibes so hard to the song, and honestly, she never had anything like this. Chilling past the long highway with yellow trees and the hidden sun makes the whole day so calming. She truly feels so blessed.

“Hey, look!” Jaehyun pointed at a petite tea shop across the street when they both walked around the small city to take a break. The little shop looks very nice with a cute vintage look interior which is visible from the outside. “Do you want to have some tea, like the british?”

“Nah, we should just take some pictures there. I’m going to go get redbulls.” “Seriously?”

After nearly four hours of driving, the both of them finally comes to the hours of the sunset. They pulled over and set the camera to the angle where they can get better view of them chilling under the sunset, or maybe just playing around the van like they did in the morning.

“You know what, I think it’s gonna be pretty cool if we climbed on top of the car and pose to get some footages?” Jaehyun suggested. “Are you crazy? We can’t scratch the car, otherwise we will get charged,” she argued.

“Nah, who the hell cares? It’s not like they will bother themselves by checking all over the car. Come on, I’m gonna go first.” Jaehyun climbed through the back of the van and she only laughed as a response. Sometimes, he’s unbearable.

“Okay, you should climb up now.” Jaehyun reached out both of his hands to help her get to the top of the van, and when she did, she didn’t regret doing his suggestions at all cause, the view is so goddamn pretty. “Woah,” she murmured. They both sat down and try to enjoy the view despite the less time that they have right now.

“What made you want to go on a roadtrip with a stranger?” Jaehyun asked. “Um, I’ve taken a semester off this year, and I don’t really have any friends at the moment to spend time with, so... decided I could go out and gain some randomly.” She chuckled bitterly. “I wanted to do something fun. I wanted to go on a roadtrip, but that’s not very fun alone. So I was like, who is the most spontaneous person I can think of... and so I asked you.”

Jaehyun laughed with his whole heart. “It’s really crazy.” His dimples are showing through and she swears, they are driving her crazy. “And you followed through!”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” “I know!”

Jaehyun encouraged himself to look at her, this time with deeply moved eyes, and he now realizes that he really admires her young and free figure. “So, are we friends now?” She asked.

When she turned at him, there she goes, with those pair of eyes, looking through his eyes in return. Jaehyun flinched, shocked by how mesmerized he is by her every movement. Like how her hair moves along with the evening breeze, and how her eyelids stutter beautifully, also how her lips turned into a little smile when she opened her mouth. And he smiled back, “Yes, we are.”

Three days have passed and now they are gonna arrive at the city which is the final destination where the national flower festival will be held, how amazing is that. They visited random cities while taking a break, grabbing lunch at a motel in the middle of nowhere, and stopping by at midnight just to lay down on the empty big road to see the stars. 

As strangers, both of them have been going through a lot of things together, only in a few days. Though the ‘significant’ rule was not so forgotten throughout the trip, they can’t help but feel flattered by each other. The young man, who has been broken inside, admitted deeply inside that she had never experienced anything like what she has been doing with the complete stranger, and neither does the young man. 

Jaehyun knows that she is straight up serious about what she said. It was that one significant rule that keeps him held back, to not fall in love with each other. It kinds of frustrating him that he couldn’t touch her like his brain told him to. He respected her without a doubt, and breaking or hurting her would be the least thing he ever wanted during this trip.

The most ironic thing Jaehyun has ever think of is, how his main goal of this trip was to gain a friend. Now he doesn’t want to be just friends. He wishes for more than that. He fell in love with her.

“I can’t believe it! We’re almost there! I can’t wait to see all the beautiful flowers!” She holds the camera up to his face as he drives to the final destination in the city. “Do you really like flowers that much?” He asked.

“Yeah, they’re beautiful, calming, and entertaining. Whenever I pick one, I always got reminded that wherever you are and whatever you’re being, you can still look pretty and graceful. I mean, sometimes people step on some petite flowers on the street but that doesn’t mean they’ll look uglier and unworthy.”

“That’s true. I mean, look at you, still shining even though your surroundings are dark.” He instinctively moved his fingers to the side of her face, gently brushing her hair aside and she only stuttered nervously.

“Jaehyun,” she faintly murmured. “Okay okay, I know that you have made the one significant rule in this trip and I want you to know how much I respect you for that. I’m also very glad that I’m able to gain a friend like you but... during this trip,” he sighed. “I can’t help but think about you... more than I think I should do.”

She keeps her mouth close, not knowing how to respond to the sudden confession. It’s not like she didn’t expect this to happen, anyway. When it comes to the first time she saw him at the cafe, her insides turn upside down. However she kept it in her heart that she signed up for this not to look for a boyfriend or someone to sleep with, but a friend.

“What if I do the same too?” She replied with her consciousness. With that one sentence, Jaehyun steps on the brake so hard that their things in the back almost sprung themselves to the front and (Y/n) cursed. “What the heck, are you trying to get us dead?!”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly before pulling over in the middle of the long road. “Gosh, what did you say earlier?”

“I said, are you trying to get us dead?”

“No, the other one before that,” he pleaded.

“Huh? W-what if I do the same too?” She tilts her head.

“So you’re saying... that you like me too? No, that’s too soon. Are you thinking of me too?”

She can’t help but chuckle when she saw his eyes grew big with excitement and... a little bit of expectation. “Yeah,” she replied. There’s a long silence after that and doubt starts to grow inside her heart but then... “So, can I?”

“What-”

He immediately attached his lips to hers, heart pounding so hard that it feels like he’s going to die because of the thrill. For the girl, his lips taste like... excitement? Happiness, and perhaps love?

A few people that she thought would give her sunshine and happiness actually have never been anything like this. She’s actually glad that his kiss made her close her eyes to the feel. No matter how much she keeps saying it, never in a way that it gets her bored to say no one has ever made her experience something like this. Kissing in the middle of nowhere, under the burning rays of sun, nothing other than the camera witnessing what’s happening between the two of them and it really, really feels like they are owning the world.

Nice. Now they’re in a motel near the festival as tomorrow is the exact time they would open the gate to all the flowers collected from all over the world. (Y/n) loves flower so much that she decided to check into a motel that has a flower pattern on its wall.

“You can’t just choose this one just because they have a flower pattern on the room’s wall! The review is just so-so!” Jaehyun complained.

“Hey, didn’t you say that wherever I go, you’ll go, and wherever I’ll be, you’ll be?”

“But I won’t be at the same place as you if it’s not guaranteed that they don’t have any bugs at all.”

Booking a room for two which has a twin bed, both of them entered the room, though Jaehyun had to insist to book a room with a queen bed, but failed miserably.

“I’m going to shower first.” (Y/n) goes to prepare her bathing kit and of course, her clothes. “Yeah, sure.”

While she showers, the man wondered if he should officially ask her out, since she said she’s gonna transfer schools soon which means that he might not seeing her again after the roadtrip so maybe an official relationship will make it easier for him to contact her often.

“Should I really do it, like, tonight? I don’t think I should,” he kept the promise ring he bought yesterday at a little jewelry shop when they stopped for a restroom break. 

Before they went to sleep, they spare some time to get a little cute footage for Jaehyun’s travel vlog. “So this is my bed, and that one’s (Y/n)’s bed. I chose this one because it’s quite far from the bathroom since I hate bugs. But you know, I don’t really trust her with keeping me from bugs and- Okay! Okay! I’m sorry don’t hit me with the pillow!”

“Pffftt! Pillow fight!!”

“No! Don’t- my camera!”

A goddamn eyecontact. Hands tangled against each other, eyes both stuttered in shock, as the girl with the pillow accidentaly fell on him. Jaehyun’s free hand instinctively hold her to prevent her from getting hurt, though his brain listens better to his heart, as he feels his heart pounding like crazy against her body.

“I’m... sorry.” “That’s okay.”

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” He asked, and later that night, the idea of booking a twin bed room seemed to be a meaningless idea, either.

“So everyone, here we are today aaat... not the exact final location we wanted to go to at the first place, let me tell you the story. When we checked out from the flower pattern motel we immediately leave to the national flower festival which was supposed to be held just 15 kilometers from where we stayed the other night, aaaand guess what?” he paused and you can hear her faint laugh in the background. “Yeah, there is no festival at all. HAHAHAHHAHAAA- Ouch stop hitting me! Are you that embarrassed?”

“That was what happened, everyone. It turned out that the festival was held at December 16, 2019 and before we started this roadtrip, she read only the date and the month, wow. How can you be so cute and stupid at the same time... I am sooo mad!”

“Well, they put the year 2019 sooo small and my minus eyes couldn’t see it- stop giving me that look!”

“Okay, so because miss (Y/n) over here was quite angry that-” “Really angry.” “Okay, she was really really angry for not being able to see the flowers so, I decided to take her to somewhere as an alternative destination. Am I being too good for you?”

“Yes, you are,” she replied with a smile. “Stop paying attention to the flowers! I’m also here, yo,” he pleaded, somehow nervously. “Why-”

“And this is why I kept insisting to take you to a place with lots of flowers... to pick one among all the pretty petals out here, the prettiest petal I’ve ever seen. So, be mine, please?”

the end of video.

a/n: thank you for reading. honestly, I didn’t know whether to post this one cause it’s really been a long time since I write and it really worried me about how much you guys will like it... also, i’m really really sorry for those who put a request into my ask box since I haven’t completed all of them, like trust me, it worries me every single day bcs I feel like I have a debt to pay lol but don’t worry, I promise you I will complete all the requests but please give me a lot of time! once again, big thanks from me.xoxo

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[thiswasinevitableid]

62. you set off the fire alarm and I have a test tomorrow, and I might strangle you

Sternclay, sfw, please!

Why do fire alarms only go off in March? The one time Stern set one off (he fell asleep studying and the dinner he was reheating started smoking) it was in that endless stretch of time where the snow is no longer festive but will keep falling for at least two more months.

More importantly, who is responsible for interrupting his carefully planned out six hours of sleep before his midterm at eight this morning?

He stands in the freezing cold with the building’s other three occupants; the single man who looks like he stars in lumberjack porn and the girlfriends who live on the ground floor.

“Sorry” The other man mumbles, “I was making doughnuts and the oil I was using got too hot without me noticing.”

Stern runs a hand through his hair and keeps his voice low, “Why were you cooking with hot oil at three in the morning?”

“When I can’t sleep, I bake.”

“Can I suggest a less flammable hobby in the future?”

“Hey man, it was an accident. And it’s not my fault they stuck the fire alarm too high up for me to get to it before it called the fire department.”

“Too high? You’re taller than I am and I can reach mine.”

“My ceilings are higher and it was tucked between the cabinets and the roof.”

“Oh yeah, ours is in a super-weird place too.” Aubrey, one of the ground-floor neighbors, pats the offenders arm, “it’s okay Barclay, it’s just a little smoke.”

“That may be the case for you three, but I have an exam that’s worth thirty percent of my grade in six hours and I need my goddamn sleep.”

“Yeesh, man, chill out. They’re already waving us back in.” Aubrey points to the door of the three story house.

“I timed everything to optimize my sleep schedule so it actually is a big deal.”

Barclay glowers at him, “Look, I said sorry. But maybe get used to the fact the world doesn’t run on your schedule, mr. control freak, and fucking get over it.”

Stern keeps a smile flat as he bites out, “go to hell” and heads upstairs to salvage what’s left of his schedule.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The crash from downstairs comes at nine p.m; he has a huge day at his internship tomorrow, but Stern doesn’t hear any sounds after it, and he is not about to let a neighbor die on his watch.

“Barclay? Are you okay?” He puts his ear to the door, the heater drowning out all ambient noise.

“Nope, not really, agh, fuck, the doors locked, lemme try to stand-”

“Stay put.” He runs upstairs, grabs his wallet, and uses his debit card to trick the lock, “Shit, what happened?”

Barclay is clutching his forehead, blood between his fingers, and his ankle is swelling. “I got really dizzy, caught my foot on the couch and then my forehead on the table on the way down. Ow, fuck, it better not be broken” he growls as Stern kneels to look at his foot, “I’ve got a shift in six hours.”

“I can’t tell. You should get to a hospital; if it’s injured and you try to work on it, you might have an even worse fall.”

“Fuck, I’m not even sure I can afford the ambulance, let alone the fucking E.R.”

He knows Dani and Aubrey are out, “Any family in town, or a boyfriend?”

“No, if there I woulda called them.” He snaps, then tries for a slow inhale, “sorry, it just, it hurts-”

“I can take you in my car, that’ll be one less worry.” Stern helps Barclay up, gets him to his sedan, then tells him to hold tight while he gets something for his head. He ends up grabbing the first clean fabris he finds, which is how Barclay ends up in the E.R while holding a “Roswell, NM” tank-top to his forehead.

“Sorry to ruin your, uh, souvenir?” He mumbles as they wait for the doctor.

“It’s for a good cause. Besides, I know how to get bloodstains out of fabric.”

“That...that makes you sound like a serial killer.”

“If I were a serial killer I would wear things that could stain.” Stern winces, “sorry, I read too many true crime books.”

“I just don’t have the stomach for them. I like fictional mysteries but real ones?” he shivers, “makes me think an axe murderer is gonna break into my place. I mean, you did it with a credit card.”

“If you’d had the chain thrown it might have been another story. “

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Barclay shifts in the plastic seat, “you, uh, you don’t have to hang around. Know you got a rigid schedule.”

Joseph runs a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry for being so annoyed last week when you set off the alarm. I’m not always great at handling changes.”

“To be fair, doughnuts probably weren’t the best stress baking choice.”

“Did they turn out?”

“Nah. I’ll have to try ‘em another time. Did, uh, did your test go okay?”

“Yes. I, um, I got a perfect score.”

Barclay laughs, the sound like warm honey, and Stern blushes at looking so deeply nerdy in front of someone with a smile like that.

“Mr. Cobb? We’re ready to see you.”

The bearded man gives an slightly awkward wave as he follows the nurse through the double doors. Stern returns the gesture, pulls up the chess app on his phone, and settles in to wait until his neighbor is done.

-------------------------------------

Barclay comes out his nap the scrchh of a brush on tile. His first thought is that he’s so late for work he’s unavoidably fucked. His second one is who the fuck is in his bathroom?

His ankle twinges, jogging his memory; he got back from the hospital at 11:30, no stitches needed on his head but bedrest required for his ankle. He’d been contemplating how to convince his manager to let him shift from the warehouse to somewhere he could sit. Joseph raised an eyebrow and asked for his phone while telling him to go get into bed. All Barclay overheard was a polite, steely voice mentioning the labor laws in Dane County and how it’d be a shame if someone were to arrange an OSHA spot check. The last thing he recalls before falling asleep was Joseph telling him he had the next day off.

That doesn’t explain the cleaning sounds, though.

“Oh, you’re up.” Joseph pokes his head in from the hall. His hair is coming loose from his usual slicked-down style and he’s in a V-neck and sweatpants instead of the suit Barclay sees him in most days, “I hope I didn’t wake you; since you gave me the spare key I thought I’d check on you when I got back from my internship and leave you some take-out from the Thai place around the corner--you said the green curry was your favorite--but then I thought I should wait until you got up to see if you needed anything, so I, um, I cleaned your tub while I waited for you to wake up.”

Barclay isn’t sure what part of that is the most baffling. Or the most touching.

“Why the tub?” He eases his legs over so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It’s satisfying. And I, um, I clean when I’m stressed.” He wipes his hands on the rag in his front pocket, “I was worried about you, and my internship was murder today. They’re mounting a case against one of the biggest employers in the state and everyone’s on edge.”

“Heh, kinda makes me glad I work at WalMart.” Barclay takes the crutch Joseph offers him and hobbles into the kitchen, “oh, uh, if you want to try some cake, there’s leftover cinnamon spice cake in the fridge.”

“I think I will, thank you.” He bends into the fridge and wow has his ass always been that nice, “can I grab you a drink from in here?”

“One of those pre-bottled Kahlua things in the door; have ‘em for a friend but one sounds good right now.” He watches Joseph open it for him, setting it down before he pulls out Barclay’s chair for him. Normally, the kind of fussing and light ordering around Joseph has directed at him makes him bristle. This last day, it just made him feel safe and cared about.

He could get used to this.

----------------------

“Good lord, we’ve even got a flood warning.” Joseph sets down his phone as rain attempts to pummel the house to dust, “Some days I wish we lived closer to one of the lakes but this is not one of them. Should we check to see if Dani and Aubrey need any emergency supplies for if we have to shelter here? I always keep more than I need.”

“Nah, Dani’s got a strong self-sufficiency streak; got her a bucket emergency kit for Christmas last year.” Barclay pops the cork on the Pinot Grigio they got for dinner, “and I don’t think they forgot your semi-drunk promise that if they ever had to run from a flood they had full permission to break open your front door to be safe on the third floor.”

“I meant it, drunk or no.” Joseph takes down the plates and portions out the carbonara; he’s been trying to cook when he has time, both because he likes it and because it gives him and Barclay something to talk about. Not that they need the help.

Things changed after the trip to the E.R; Barclay would bring Joseph fresh cookies or pie. Joseph would offer Barclay rides when their schedules overlapped. Barclay introduced him to his favorite trivia night spot. Joseph took some of his cookies to a worker-owned bakery where a former co-student worked, which led to Barclay getting a new job.

Now they see each other almost every day, whether that’s watching movies on Barclay’s cramped couch or joining Dani and Aubrey for board game night.

He’s pleased with how the pasta turned out, even more so with the fact that when their legs bump together beneath the table, Barclay doesn’t pull away.

They’re on the couch, chatting about the recurring themes in ghost movies, when the storm starts in earnest. The sky is so dark it may as well be nine at night, the lighting and thunder performing a cacophonous two-man show across it. The closer the thunder gets, the more Barclay tenses.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah” a thunderclap makes him jump, “I know it’s silly but I fucking hate thunderstorms, I have since I was a kid.” He chuckles, “my mom would always end up making a pillow fort for me to hide in.”

“We could do that now.” He offers, tapping his foot against Barclay’s own.

“Know this might be hard to believe, but I wasn’t always six-two.” The other man teases.

“Don’t count me out just yet. Wait here.”

It takes some precarity and most of his thumb-tacks, but soon he’s waving Barclay to come join him.

“Holy shit” Barclay laughs as he sees the bed and part of the floor in Joseph’s tiny bedroom are curtained in blankets, “do you ever half-ass stuff?”

“No one can ever prove I haven’t.”

“Uh huh.” Barclay climbs into the fort, “that’s Joseph speak for ‘no.’”

Joseph plugs in his UFO lights and follows him in, “I’ve failed plenty of times.”

“Not on this. Man, this is gr-” A thunderclap makes him jump, nearly knocking one blanket down, “uh, maybe if I…” He lays on the bed, Joseph deciding it’s the least awkward option to join him in that position.

“You really didn’t have to do this.” The green of the lights add a charming tint to Barclay’s eyes.

“I wanted to.”

His friend looks away, keeps his gaze on his feet as he murmurs, “How come you’re always so nice to me?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“It’s, uh, it’s not because you want something from me?”

“Of course not. Barclay,” he touches the cooks arm, “anything you’re thinking is a favor with an ulterior motive....well, it isn’t. It’s something I did to look out for you.”

“What if I, uh, I didn’t think it was favor hunting and was, uh, a different word that started with “F’?”

This time, when the thunder sounds, Barclay nestles closer to him.

“Oh, Barclay” he drapes a protective arm over his waists, “I didn’t mean it to be. At least, most of the time. There were, um, sometimes when I was more flirtatious than I’d have been if it were anybody else.”

“Do you...want to flirt more?” Barclay mumbles into his shoulder.

Joseph tips Barclay’s chin with his hand, brings their lips together as lightning flashes through the window. When he pulls back, Barclay’s eyes are wide. He kisses him once more just to see if he can make them entirely pupil, then whispers, “I hope we can do more than just flirt.”

“Joseph” strong arms slip below and across him, “fuck, babe, if it’s not flooded tomorrow, promise you’ll let me take you out tomorrow?”

“I’d like nothing better, big guy. In the meantime..” he rolls so Barclay is atop him, “I have some thoughts on how to keep your mind off the storm.”

[softboywriting]

Don’t Go | Nathan Bateman | Ex Machina

Summary: One difficult boss, one contraband cat, and a whole lot of emotional turmoil. That’s your life these days. When you leave for a few months to get things settled back home before moving into the facility officially, Nathan doesn’t cope with your absence well. Upon your return you have to deal with Nathan being moodier than ever, hiding your cat Baxter in your room, and sorting out just what your relationship with Nathan is. [Light Angst] [Swearing] [Insecurity] [Daddy Kink if you squint] [Fluff] [No use of Y/N] [Sexual/Flirting Situations] [F!ReaderxNathan] [Assistant!Reader] 

Word Count: 5.2k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Four months. You're gone from Nathan's facility for four months while sorting out fully moving to Alaska with him, closing your leased apartment, and finding a home for your cat. Everything was squared away finally. All of your furniture and non personal items were sold and you were ready to move into his place in the middle of nowhere. Of course you couldn't find a home for Baxter, your cat, and you refused to put him up for adoption, so he was coming with you. 

Nathan didn't want a cat he explicitly said don't bring him but here you are in the helicopter with your bags and totes full of what you have left of your old life, and strapped in the back is Baxter in his tan cat carrier. You had to get special medication to help him stay calm but it was worth it. Surely Nathan won't kick him out once you've snuck him in. You'll just keep him in your room. 

You never see Nathan. He didn't help you carry everything in, he never saw Baxter, he didn't even leave a message. It's not until after you've unpacked the essentials and gotten Baxter settled into the bedroom that Nathan calls to you on the intercom system. 

"Meet me on the deck."

You jump, startled by the sudden break in silence. You slip out the door quickly to keep Baxter inside and head for the outdoor deck where the punching bag is hung. You round the corner of the kitchen and stop dead, eyes on the man on the deck, back to you. 

"Nathan?" You call out, walking forward carefully. It can't be. This man has hair. Quite a bit actually. But it looks like Nathan from the back. That is surely his ass. 

Nathan turns around and oh, it's definitely him. He looks so different without the buzzcut, he looks softer, sweeter. "About time you came back."

"Did I miss a day of work?" You roll your eyes. He may look softer but that snippy attitude was ever prominent. "Don't act like you missed me."

"You worked? I barely noticed." He quips, stepping down and unwrapping his hands.

You fold your arms. "So you just remembered to go shopping for groceries, to get your hand wraps, and to get the mineral water from the specialty place on your own? You just remembered that you had to eat every day? You don't need an assistant?"

"I'm an adult. Of course I can do all of that without you."

"So you definitely didn't use those alarms and reminders I set?"

He scoffs.

"Oh no, you did." You click your tongue. "Because they're linked to my tasks app and every time you shut one off I got a notification. And look!" You gesture to him. "You're not starved to death or bloody knuckled from training with no wraps!" 

Nathan rolls his eyes. 

"No come back?" 

"Fuck off." He sneers, grabbing his glasses off the table. 

You walk around the table and run a hand over his hair. "What's this?"

"Hair?" He pushes your hand away. 

"You've never had hair. Ever." You shove your hand back into his hair. It's short, but long enough you can grip the top. Curly, thick, dark. It's beautiful. It must grow like a weed, and with his genetics, you're not surprised it's this long in only four months. "Why now?" 

Nathan growls, shoving you back away from him gently. "Quit touching it!" 

"Then answer my questions!" 

"Fuck you!" 

"Fuck you too, Nathan!"

He narrows his eyes at you, glaring daggers. This is how it always is with him. Constant fighting about stupid shit because he doesn't know how to express himself around another human being eighty percent of the time. You're sure it's why he hired you, so he didn't go feral out here on his own. The other twenty percent of the time he is bearable and you actually really like that twenty percent. 

You let out a soft sigh and relax your shoulders. Yelling at each other isn't going to get you anywhere right now. You'll take the initiative and soothe the room. "Did your clippers break?" 

"Yeah." He grumbles, no longer looking at you, but to the bar behind the dining table. 

"And you didn't buy a new one when you went for groceries?" 

"I didn't go."

"What?" 

"I didn't go for groceries."

You close the gap and step in front of his line of sight. "Nathan, what have you been surviving on?"

"What was left. I've got some MREs in the office for emergencies. Well, I did." He runs a hand through his hair and turns away. "I'm fine. I'm alive, obviously." 

"So you just dismissed my alarms? Why didn't you go? I know the flight is a pain in the ass but it's better than starving. Is there nothing left?"

He walks out of the room, toward the kitchen. 

"Nathan!" You groan and let out a yell of frustration. If he ate everything and didn't replenish anything, then you're going to have to call the pilot back tomorrow and ride another two hours into the city, go shopping, then ride two hours back. 

"Fuck!"

_____________________

After a grueling day of travel and shopping you start making dinner. You've not seen hide or hair of Nathan since you found out he's been barely living for the last four months. You can't fathom why he wouldn't go out, why he wouldn't even get you to bring him something. Sure you were in Seattle for the time you were gone but you probably could have managed to get on a plane and bring him some protein bars. It just kills you, knowing he just let himself suffer. But why? To prove a point? What was it?

"Dinner is almost ready." You say, pressing the talk button on the kitchen com system. He probably isn't listening but it's worth a try. The man must be desperate for a real meal. 

As soon as you get everything plated, on the table and glasses of wine poured, Nathan appears. You can only assume he watched you on the cameras, so he knew exactly when to show up. He is always checking in on you with those cameras. It was alarming at first, when you arrived about a year ago now. But these days it's alright, a sense of security, knowing that if something were to happen he would be there in a heartbeat. 

"Steak, spinach salad with bleu cheese, and a potato." You say softly, presenting the food like a gameshow host with your hand as he sits down. 

"I can see what it is."

"Mmhmm." You stuff a fork full of spinach in your mouth. "Can you see the poison then?"

A small smile plays at the corners of his lips and you don't miss it for a millisecond. "Must be tucked into the cheese crumbles."

You grin around the rim of your wine glass. "Soaked the steak in it actually." 

"Clever." He mutters dully, biting a piece of said steak off his fork. 

You eat a few more bites in silence, just staring awkwardly at each other. You have so many questions about what he was doing while you were gone. But you know he won't answer them, not now at least. He will have to be exhausted or perhaps less sober. That actually is another question. Has he been sober for all this time? Or did he ration his alcohol?

"Good food?" 

"Fucking amazing." He says, voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He rubs his last bite of meat around in the bleu cheese. "You can cook like no other."

You feel a flush rise in your chest. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." 

"Don't get used to it." 

"Oh I won't." 

Nathan stands and takes his plate to the kitchen. "Did you get my shaver?" 

"Yes." You follow close behind and drop your plate in the sink beside his. "But I like it." 

"What?" 

"Your hair. I like it." You lean against the counter and he runs a hand over his head. "It looks... different."

Nathan rolls his eyes. 

"It's up to you, obviously. I'm sure you keep it shaved for whatever reason." You shrug and look away from him. "The shaver is in your bathroom."

"Thanks." He mutters and heads off into the house. He's going to the lab no doubt. 

_____________________

Finally two weeks later. Nathan is wasted. Gobsmacked, shit faced and three sheets to the wind. You got an allegory for it, that is this man right this second. Your chance is now, you can get his ass on the spot and start interrogating him. Well. That is if you can get him out of his lab. 

"Nathan, I have something for you." You coo softly into the com beside the door to his lab. "Something you'll like."

"Go away."

"Come on!" 

"Unless you're out there in some red panties and stockings then I'm not coming out."

You flush and close your eyes. He did not just say that. Surely he cannot mean that he actually wants to see you like that. God that's hot. Does he really want to see you like that? No. He's your boss. 

"What if I am?" 

"You're not."

"I could be."

"You aren't. Fuck off."

"You wanna see me all undressed hmm?" 

Nathan groans and opens the door, glaring you down. "You lied. Fuck off."

"No, I never said I was out here undressed. But now I have you." You shove your way into the lab office and plop down on his sofa. "You're not gonna get rid of me." 

Nathan stands at the door and sways on his feet. He seemingly is perplexed how you managed to overcome him and slip into his space. "You're a pain the ass."

"Mmm and you're a thorn in my side." You lay back on the sofa, and prop your legs up on the armrest. "C'mere, I wanna talk." 

"You wanna talk? What do I look like? One of your gal pals?" 

"Maybe with a little mascara, some eight inch pumps...yeah."

"I'll give you eight inches alright." He sinks into his desk chair and grabs a bottle from the desk to press to his lips. "What do you want?" 

You sit up and brace your elbows on your knees. "I want to know why you didn't leave here in four months."

"I didn't need to." 

"Nathan, you were living on MRE rations like a bunker crazed maniac. You barely called me, and when you did it sounded like you were doing fine. What happened?" 

"You left."

"Yeah?" You chuckle softly. "I had to settle things back home. I told you that, you knew where I went." 

Nathan takes his glasses off and sets them aside. "I think...I think I rabbit holed into my insecurities and loneliness."

You raise your eyebrows. This is going deeper than you imagined it would. "Okay. How so?" 

He tips the bottle up against his lips. "I thought, well maybe you wouldn't come back. Why would you? You got out, I let you go willingly. I felt like I just deserved to suffer alone." He shakes his head. 

"Nathan, why didn't you tell me this sooner?" 

"And make me look like a desperate fucking idiot? How would that look? Desperate lonely billionaire misses assistant so much he begs her to come back." 

"So you did miss me."

"Fuck." He rubs his palm into his eye and lets out a yell of frustration. "You're the only person I've had proper physical contact with in like three years, I've gotten attached to you, and you just don't even understand how messed up I am!"

You stand and walk over to him. "Nathan, do you have feelings for me?" 

He stares up at you, and sets his bottle aside. It's sloshes, mostly empty. "Don't play with me."

"No one's playing."

"You hate me. I'm so mean to you, and I yell at you and piss you off everyday."

You chuckle softly. "Oh yeah, that's all true. But when you're not being difficult, that's when you're incredible. You're so hot and cold I should have run away but somehow I still wanted to come home."

"Home?"

"Yeah." You run your hand over his hair and his head slumps forward. He hasn't shaved it off. It's been a few days. "You're insufferable but I can't get enough. I love how you talk, how you think, how you are always making sure I'm comfortable and happy even if you think I don't notice. I love how you look at me, glancing to make sure I'm still there, to make sure I'm real. I know how you need me."

"Don't want you to leave." He mutters, eyes heavy. 

"I'm not leaving." You kneel down, arms across his lap and he looks at you, hand going to your cheek.

He strokes his thumb over your lower lip. "Be my good girl."

"Nathan," you whisper and your heart threatens to explode and you're flushing, heat pooling between your legs. "You're really out of it."

He smiles lopsidedly, pressing his thumb between your lips and you open your mouth automatically. 

You lick the pad of his thumb and give a quick suck before pulling back and standing up. "You're way too drunk." 

"Come back here."

"I'm going to bed." You lick your lip, the taste of his thumb is salty. If he weren't wasted you would consider exploring this further. You've wondered if there would be more between the two of you. It felt natural. But he's your boss. This is your job and as much as you would like to be more with Nathan you know this has to end here. He's not a relationship guy. 

Nathan pushes up from his chair and slumps over onto the couch. God he's fucking gone. He won't even remember this in the morning. It's for the best. 

"Good night." 

_____________________

You make your way to Nathan's room with a bottle of water, two Tylenol and a banana. He's going to be so hungover it's not funny. You hadn't realized how much he was drinking until you found the empty bottle of vodka in the kitchen trash can and the rest of a small bottle of whiskey in the office trash and you had only bought both just the other day. Not to mention all the beers he sucked down while in the lab, a good six of the eight pack. Oh boy is he going to be hurting. 

"Nathan, hey," you call softly, sinking down beside him on his bed. "It's almost noon."

"Lea'me 'lone." He grumbles into his pillow, wrapping his arms around it tightly. 

You run a hand up his back, settling between his shoulder blades. "I brought water and a snack." 

He turns his head, face smushed into the pillows as he looks at you. "What happened last night?" 

"You got very drunk and drank literally everything we had. I'm not sure how you're alive." 

"Did I do anything?" 

"Nothing I wouldn't expect of you." 

He shoots you a leery glare. "The fuck's that mean?" 

You shake your head. He doesn't need to know he started spilling his guts and coming on to you more than playfully. "Nothing. You were a dick."

"I'm always a dick sweetheart. I told you that when you started."

"You did." You rub his shoulder and he groans. "Come on, get up. Have your banana, pills and water. Get a shower. You've got a video call in an hour."

"Oh fuck off." He presses his face into the pillows. "Attend for me. I want to sleep."

"It needs to be you. It's an HR meeting about hiring new staff to run diagnostics on Blue Book backlog data."

Nathan grumbles unintelligibly. 

"I'll make your favorite lunch." 

"Mm'not hungry."

"I'll join you in the shower." 

He pushes up fast, nearly knocking the Tylenol from your hand. "No take backs." 

"Nathan! I'm not actually going to shower with you! You're my boss for God's sake. I just said it for shock value to get you to roll your hungover ass out of bed. Shit."

"Yeah but no take backs." He grins and swallows back the pills you hand him. "Come on, it's not like you haven't seen me naked."

"Uh no, I most certainly have not."

"Oh yeah you have." He smirks, eyes holding yours in a challenging gaze. "You liked it too."

"What?!" You shove him and stand up, throwing the banana at his lap. "Eat your snack and get your shit together. I'm going to take a hike." 

Nathan rips his banana top off to peel it and takes a bite. "You're not gonna set up the meeting stuff?" 

"You just turn on your webcam when they call, Nathan."

"What if I need help?" He says teasingly. "You're my assistant after all."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Would you like me to wait until they call? You want me to stand beside your desk and click the button to answer with a video camera on? Is that it?" 

"You could sit on my lap." He pats his legs. "Keep it nice and warm for me."

You twist your face quickly into an expression of distaste before a flush begins to heat your skin. This is just Nathan. He isn't flirting. He's being an asshole to get a reaction from you. He's like a child. Don't reward bad behavior. 

"Oh you're thinking about it." He murmurs, voice dropping lower than usual. It's almost sultry. You've not heard this tone but maybe once before. "You wanna fuck your boss don't you?"

"Absolutely not." You grip the side of the door a little harsher than you mean to. Just another step and you're out of the room. Away from his eyes. Fuck. His eyes. What is that look for? It's so...commanding. 

Nathan presses the door closed and you lean against it. "You're a horrible liar."

"You're projecting."

"Am I? Or were you on your knees in front of me last night?" He raises his eyebrows. "Oh you think I don't remember? That's cute."

"You know that isn't what happened." 

"I know you let me put my thumb in your mouth. I know you licked it, sucked it, willingly." He catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You really want me don't you?" 

You narrow your eyes. "Maybe I want you, but I have morals. You're my boss, I'm not going to just fuck you for no reason and I intend on keeping it that way."

Nathan drops his hand from your face. "You'll come around. You can be my employee and still fuck me. I'll allow it."

"Yeah, whatever." You pull the door open and he steps back. "Go shower. You've wasted enough time."

_____________________

 Days later you go for a supply run and come home late in the afternoon. As you haul the bags from the cart you use to get them from the helicopter to the front door you see Baxter on the sofa in the living room. He's curled up, the fireplace is on, he's living his best life. Wait. Baxter. No. 

"Bax what are you doing in here?!" You set the bags down and hurry to the fireplace to snatch the little gray cat up from his warm nap spot. "How did you-"

"You're back." Nathan says sleepily from the couch. He sits up and runs a hand through his hair. God it looks so good, it's gotten longer you swear and fuck the curls are just maddening. "You wanna tell me something?" 

"I'm sorry. I couldn't leave him with anyone and he is like my child. I couldn't just abandon him." You cradle Baxter against your chest. "I'll leave, if I have to. You can fire me."

Nathan chuckles softly. "Fire you? For having a cat?" 

"You said he couldn't come with me. You specifically said no pets under any circumstances."

"Yeah, but maybe I can make an exception for this guy." 

You set Baxter down as he begins to squirm. He hurries over to Nathan and winds around his legs. 

"Come here." Nathan pats his lap. "Come see daddy." 

Baxter jumps up and curls up on Nathan's lap, head butting his hand for attention. It's the most bizarre thing. Baxter has never taken a liking to anyone this fast. It's as if he's been living with Nathan for weeks. 

"He never likes people like this. What did you do to him?" 

Nathan strokes his hand down Baxter's back and massages his ears. "I didn't do anything. I gave him affection."

"How did you find him?" 

"He's loud." Nathan laughs, looking at you with a soft smile. "You were on a walk in the woods and I heard him crying one day-"

"Wait what? You've known about him before today?"

"Yes." He gives you a look that says you're not fooling anyone. "I've been seeing him for days now. Almost two weeks."

You groan and press your back against the fireplace. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted you to tell me. I wanted to see how long you thought you could lie to me."

"I didn't lie. I never said he wasn't here."

"Very true."

"So he was meowing? That's how you found him?" 

"Mmhmm." Nathan chuckles again. "You must have forgotten to feed him before your walk. Because as soon as I gave him food he was happy."

"Fuck. I probably did." You sigh and laugh softly at yourself. "I'm terrible at hiding things."

"Yes you are." His eyes catch yours and you glare at him. "What's the look for? You jealous?" He pats his leg where Baxter isn't stretched out. "You wanna sit on Daddy's lap too?"

You cover your face with your hand. "For fucks sake you're a freak. No, I would not like to sit. I'd like help with these groceries." You point to the long forgotten bags by the door. 

Nathan peeks over the back of the couch. 

"Come on," you shoo Baxter off his lap and as you turn away to go get the bags, Nathan pulls you backwards down onto his legs. "Nathan."

He chuckles deeply against your back. "What?"

"I'm not sitting on your lap."

"Mmm, yes you are." 

"Nathan," you sigh softly and stand up just long enough to turn around and straddle his legs, facing him on the couch. It stuns him silent for a second as he stares up at you in bewilderment. "This what you want?"

He grins big, hands running up your thighs. "Just remember that you escalated this, not me."

"I just sat down."

"Oh no sweetheart, you sat down with a purpose." He pulls you flush against him. "I thought you had morals."

"I do." You lean in and his lips part instinctively. "I haven't done anything against them."

Nathan grips your ass and you collapse against him, foreheads together. "You're pushing it."

"I just wanna see you weak, Bateman."

He narrows his eyes and shoves you off his lap. "Little late for that." He mutters as he retreats into the house and you climb up off the floor. If he thinks you're not going to push him to admit he wants you more than sex then he has something else coming. 

_____________________

Two days later you're making breakfast and out of the corner of your eye you see Nathan walk in. You pay no mind. It's not unusual that he comes and grabs a water or a cup of tea before breakfast. You turn, plates in hand to put the eggs on and the moment you see Nathan you drop them. 

He shaved. Holy fucking shit he shaved his beard very close and his hair is still grown out. He doesn't have his glasses on and who...who the fuck is this? How does one person literally shapeshift? 

"Oh fuck, are you okay?" Nathan looks down at the shattered plates. "What happened?" 

"What- you! What happened?!" You gesture wildly to his face. "Who are you?!" 

He laughs, straight up laughs at you. "Is it that bad?"

"Bad? I wouldn't call it bad." You run a hand over your hair and look around for a tea towel to pick the glass up with safely. "It's not bad." You can't help but continuously glance at him. 

Nathan grabs a large bowl from the cabinet on his side of the kitchen and you both kneel down to clean up the glass. "You like it." 

"It's different."

"Good different."

"Yeah." You sit back on your heels and take another good look. "I almost couldn't believe it was you." 

Nathan drops the last piece of glass into the bowl and brushes his hands off on his sweater. "It's been a while since I went this short. Ten years maybe."

"Damn."

He smiles and it's like he's a different man. You cannot stop staring. It's all familiar, like if you were seeing his brother, or maybe twin. It's the same teeth, same turn of his lips, but that beard being nearly gone makes him so...fucking attractive. Not that he wasn't attractive before, you dug the buzzcut and beard combo, you dug the beard and grown out hair combo. But this is...this is hard.

"Hey, your eggs are burning." 

"What! Fuck!" You scramble to your feet and sure enough the sunny side up eggs are hard yolked and brown around the edges. 

Nathan dumps the bowl of glass in the trash and places the bowl in the sink. "Let me make something."

"I- what? You?"

"Yeah." He wraps his hand around yours on the pan handle and moves it back off of the burner. "I can cook y'know. I did it a lot before you moved in."

You step back and let him carry the pan to the trash. "Is it April fool's day?" 

"No? It's November." 

"You're being nice to me."

"Am I?" 

"Yes?" You fold your arms across your chest. "Suspiciously nice."

Nathan turns and quirks one eyebrow up. "Suspiciously nice? I don't think I'm being suspiciously nice. Maybe...considerate."

"Not a word I would associate with you either." 

"Well, I can just have a power bar and get out of your way if you like." He folds his arms, mimicking your pose. 

You chew on your lip. "Are you okay? Seriously, you've never offered to cook and you've managed to not insult me for a solid ten minutes. You even helped me clean up the glass. You're not...you."

"I had a good night's sleep."

"So you've been a dick because you haven't slept properly since I met you?" 

"Maybe." 

"Maybe? Okay y'know what." You raise your hands and let out a little laugh. "I get it. You are trying to get me to sleep with you. You have been for weeks and I can't just sleep with someone without being in a relationship. You've changed your appearance, knowing I'd like it. You're being nice, acting like you're some normal guy as if you think I'm into that. You just want to get in my pants so bad that-" 

"Or maybe I am trying to be a better person because I realized I'm going to run you out of my life if I keep being the way I am." He runs a hand over his hair and tugs. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come on so strong."

You're floored. He's left you speechless. Never has he said he's sorry, for anything. 

"You don't have to say anything. It's fine. I understand that I'm a lot to handle. You have been so patient, and understanding in this last year, and you go toe to toe with me and you don't stand for my shit, so I think you must have been put in my life to force me to make a change. I've been trying to get in your pants, yes, but I don't just want that. I want you." 

"Oh."

"I've been thinking about this since you left, and even since you came back. It's consumed me for the last five months and I-" He bites his lip and looks away from you. "I'm in love with you."

Your eyes widen. "You....Nathan..."

"It's fine, I understand if you don't love me. I've been awful and selfish and-" 

"You're really in love with me?"

"I don't waste words, you know that." 

You step forward and reach out to touch his cheek. The beard is so short, still there, but not bushy in the least. "I love you too. Even if you're a pain in the ass and a little egotistical." 

"So I don't have to be disgustingly nice?"

"I didn't fall for disgustingly nice Nathan."

"Thank fuckin God." He grabs your hips and pulls you against him. "Felt like I was playing house." 

You giggle and he groans. "Nathan."

"I love your laugh." He grips your hair and tilts your head back, kissing your throat. "I love how you say my name." 

A little moan escapes your lips as he scrapes his teeth along your neck. "Hey, easy, relationship first and sex later."

"Mmm. What do you want sweetheart? A date? Gifts? Long walks in the moonlight?" He leans back and looks at you. "I've got a proposal for you."

"What's that?" 

"Be my girlfriend. No, be my wife." He bites his lip and cradles your face. "Yeah, you'd be a damn good wife."

You raise your eyebrows. "Not sure I like the implications of that." 

"You don't like the implication that you'll be the richest woman in this country, own half of Blue Book, have everything you could ever want, and be a goddess to a god?" 

"A goddess to a god huh?" 

He smiles and presses his head against yours. "That's right. Besides, we already have a kid." 

"We do?"

"Mmhmm. Baxter. I'm his daddy and he knows it."

"Oh hell. Shut up." You roll your eyes. 

"I'm your daddy too." He hauls you against him, hands on your ass. "You like it, admit it."

"No!" 

"Yeah you do." He kisses across your jaw and down your neck. "It's okay, it's just us you can admit it." His tongue lavishes against your sensitive pulse point. "Come on, tell me you like it."

"Nathan," you moan softly and he rolls his hips against you. "Please."

"Just say it." 

"Never."

He chuckles and pulls back, leaving your neck damp and aching. "I'll get it out of you. I know you wanna say it but you're too shy." He bumps his nose against yours and your head swims "I will bide my time."

"Yeah, a long time." You press your lips to his and he hums softly. "I'll think about your proposal."

He chases your lips as you pull back. "I'll be waiting."

"Relationship first." You run a hand over his hair and push him back. "Gotta show me you truly want more than what's in my pants." 

"Absolutely." He pushes his sleeves up. "I'll be the best husband." 

"Let's stick to boyfriend for now."

"Husband sounds better." He grabs a clean pan from the rack over the stove. "So, breakfast?" 

You hop up on the counter and watch as he moves about easily. "I'll take whatever you got."

"I've got a lot." He smirks and you roll your eyes. "But let's start with breakfast."

"Yeah, let's."

End 

-----------

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[your-world-with-nct]

💌 • 4:35am

“you know, i swear, if you’re the impostor, i just won’t come over to yours tomorrow. wait, it’s already tomorrow ‘cos it’s past midnight, right? yeah, okay then, i won’t come over today,” you spoke into the mic of your earphones, quickly diverting your attention back to the round that was about to start.

“what? your brain is barely functioning right now, i don’t trust anything you’re saying— what’s that even supposed to mean?” boyfriend!yangyang questioned you through the phone, baffled at your sleep-deprived nonsense.

ignoring his confusion, you finished customising your character, ready to play yet another round of ‘among us’ with your avid, competitive gamer boyfriend, “shhhh, the game’s about to start, mute your mic, baby.”

he simply chuckled at your cute command, muting his mic, and smiling to himself as his role appeared on the screen.

you both continued to play, silence coming from both of your phones, not only from muting one another, but also from the sheer concentration of trying to win the game. before you knew it, someone had called an emergency meeting, leading you to return to your voice call with yangyang.

“so, how has it been faking tasks, mr impostor?” you giggled, disguising your suspicion with lightheartedness.

you heard the boy scoff from the other end of the line, “oh come on, y/n, if it was me, you would’ve been killed first, or maybe that cyan guy because his hat is really ugly.”

“o-okay then... bit random if you ask me,” as you clicked on the chat, it seemed as if nothing needed to be addressed, and the player who called the meeting had assumed incorrectly.

“yangie, skip the vote,” you prompted, as you did the same and waited for the round to carry on, “don’t forget to—”

“yes, yes i know, mute the mic,” he finished your sentence for you, amused at the fact that you two were still so connected even though you weren’t together at the moment.

just as you were about to finish your last task, another emergency meeting interrupted you, you sighed and turned your mic back on, before checking the chatroom.

an exaggerated gasp escaped from yangyang when he realised what was posted in the chat and once you discovered for yourself what exactly had caused him to react as if had seen a ghost, you were in hysterics.

“‘guys how do i jump in the vents like white did’ why would you ask that? do you want me to get caught, stupid cyan!!” your lover ranted in between your breathless giggles, cursing out the clueless noob both in real life and in the chat.

soon after, he was voted out, then rage quit the game, begging you to leave too, “okay, fine, i’ll leave, but, my god, you didn’t even get to kill anyone,” you returned to your uncontrollable laughter, switching from the ‘among us’ app to the video call you were on with the fuming yangyang.

“i just got out of the vent to kill purple because they were on their own but then cyan came out of nowhere? ugh, i could’ve won that as well,” he pouted, as you found his childish sulking adorable.

“aww, it’s okay, babe, we can always play another time, hopefully we’ll get a good server without that cyan player,” you grinned at yangyang, immediately making him momentarily forget what he was yelling about.

he ran his hand through his hair, sighing, “if i ever encounter ‘mark’ ever again i swear i’ll snatch that egg hat right off of his stupid blue head! i’m sorry but i don’t think i can touch that game for another few days, i need some time to recover.”

you rolled your eyes, shuffling further into the multiple blankets draped on your bed, “you’re so dramatic, yangie.”

“says the one who wanted to eat a different restaurant because that guy you used to like when you were like twelve was there—”

“we don’t speak about huang renjun!!! i’m gonna hang up now, byeeeeee,” your hand hovered over the bright red ‘end call’ button, although you both knew that you weren’t going to press that any time soon.

“okay, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, y/n, don’t hang up!! i didn’t want you to have the last word of me being dramatic. why were you so scared anyway, you were with me in that restaurant, your boyfriend, what was he gonna do?” yangyang smiled at the memory of you hiding in his shoulder, aggresively whispering to him about how you wanted to get the fuck out of there.

“i don’t even know, i was just so... surprised that he was even there,” you laughed at him bringing up your pathetic self, temporarily being distracted by the chirping bird that flew past your room’s window, “y’know, i wish we could go out again, like, normally.”

your boyfriend took note of the sad undertone of your statement, feeling the urge to give you a massive hug, but wincing when he knew he couldn’t, “i know, me too, baby, but we can’t really do much about how the world is right now. at least we can call like this every night and play together, right?”

it wasn’t the most comforting thing to hear in the world, but only because it was yangyang saying it to you, your heart burst with adoration as if you could feel his sincerity through the phone, “hmm, yeah, you’re right, babe. even if the world came crashing down on us, i would be content if i had you.”

yangyang was overwhelmed with your words, it was evident in his ear-to-ear gummy smile and the way he covered his reddening cheeks with his sweater paws, “you really mean that, y/n?”

“i do,” you nodded, suppressing a yawn to smile back at your blushing lover, “i’m probably gonna go to sleep now yangie, i love you.”

despite being left speechless by your nonchalant confession, yangyang just managed to respond before his heart leapt out of his chest, “i love you too, sweetheart.”

finally ending the call, you placed your phone on your bedside table, tossing to your other side to shield yourself from the rays of light indicating the start of a new day.

so what if you messed up your sleep schedule to talk to yangyang for hours on end? you really did mean what you said - he was your saviour, your hope in the midst of a global crisis. and you would rather experience the end of the world with him, than this pandemic without him.

[jeonqquk]

tattooing | jjh

Pairing- Jaehyun X Reader

Genre/ Tags- fluff, crack, bi jaehyun, lucas royally fucks up, tattooing

Age rating- 13+

Word count- 2.6k words

Summary- Tattooing doesn’t go as planned.

POV- Third person

Your whining wasn’t gonna get you anywhere, you were well aware of the fact. But you supposed that you might as well give it a shot. The ‘it’ here being the fact that you really wanted Jaehyun to get a tattoo. It wasn’t that you wanted to somehow blackmail Jae into getting a tattoo. Oh god, no. You’d never want that. It was just that you had always been fond of tattoos, the meaningful ones, not the totally unnecessary, really weird looking, out of the world ones. Jaehyun with a tattoo would be fucking hot though, that was just a plus point- not the main reason as to why you wanted him to get one. 

You were thinking a sweet quote or something, but that would only be possible of he was willing to get one.

“Jae, baby, what do you think about getting a tattoo?” your boyfriend of 3 years sighs, rubbing his hand on your knee that had been placed on his thigh. “I don’t know..maybe later. Why are you so intent on me getting a tattoo though?” he wiggles his eyebrows, suggestively or whatever, and you look at him in confusion, trying your level best to stop the blood threatening to creep up your cheeks. You clear your throat and reply simply “I feel like a tattoo would be beautiful. Just permanently inked onto your skin. It should be something purposeful though. I don’t want you going bald and tattooing a zipper on your scalp.” 

A snort is heard from him “Don’t worry, I’m not going bald. Although it’s a very tempting idea.” Rolling your eyes at his lame comment, you sit up and move over to cuddle closer to him on the couch. He wraps his left arm around you “Why don’t you get a tatto Y/n?” he questions and you look up at him in mild shock. Well, you could get a tattoo. You are of legal age and stuff but the thought had never crossed your mind. You don’t know why.

“....I could...” Jaehyun smiles, his dimples popping out and you can’t help but mirror the sweet action. “So why don’t you? We’re not even doing anything and I know for a fact that you have a lot of designs saved on your Pinterest board. Even if they were for me, you can try finding one that suits you too.”

Suddenly feeling giddy, you quickly grab your phone from the coffee table and unlock it, clicking on the app you needed. As you find the board, you see that you’ve gained 18 followers in the time span of 2 weeks. Huh.

As you scroll through the pins of small intricate designs that could be engraved onto a finger or hand, Jaehyun points out one that looked like watercolour art and was in the form of a small flower with red petals. It did look quite cute, to be honest. “Hmm, this does look nice. Won’t it look good on my collarbone?” Jaehyun nods in agreement “I was thinking that too.” Smiling up at him, you look into his eyes “Well, should I get this?” Your boyfriend chuckles at your excitement, and pats your head in adoration. “I know that you’re excited, sweetie. But don’t you wanna try looking at other designs before deciding?” Humming, you scroll a bit more as Jaehyun reads a novel. But you don’t find anything that captures your attention a lot. Sure the sweet quotes, couple tattoos and nature-related  designs are great ideas for a tattoo but you were set on the one with the rose.

Jaehyun coos when you tell him that, squishing your cheeks and telling you that the two of you could go to a shop tomorrow and get design inked onto your collarbone forever. 

It’s 9:28 am when you wake up from your slumber and turn to give Jaehyun who looks like he had also woken up just a few minutes ago a peck on his lips. His dimples are visible as he smiles and greets you. The two of you get up and freshen up before you’re sitting at the dining table to eat blueberry pancakes. 

The clock shows that it’s 10:30 am by the time you two leave the house and head for the tattoo store you had researched last night. It takes 15 minutes to reach said shop and Jaehyun parks the car before looking at you with concern evident on his face. “Y/n, you are sure about this right?” Smiling fondly at his worry, you keep your hand on his cheek “I’m sure Jae. Don’t worry.” One kiss is enough to relax him and you pull away before you get too carried away and end up dirtying his car again. Oops.

You enter the cosy shop hand-in-hand with Jaehyun and see someone sitting at the reception wearing an oversized blue shirt. Definitely not the vibes you had expected to get from a fucking tattoo parlour but oh well. You had expected everyone to be intimidating and were ready to hide behind Jaehyun as soon as you entered. But it seems as if that wasn’t happening because all you had deciphered from the shop called Inkphoric was that it was built in a way not to scare the people who had gathered the courage to even stop foot in it. 

The receptionist, she said her name was Nara, leads you both to a room in a corridor. Your hands are sweaty and thankfully she allows Jaehyun to go inside as well. When you’re seated on the chair comfortably, Jaehyun grabs a stool to sit beside you and you wait for the tattoo artist. The wait isn’t long because a minute later, a man who looks about your age is walking towards you all. His all black get-up matches the tattoos littering his arms and he also seems to have a piercing in his right ear, a silver dangling. 

“Hello, I’m Lucas. I’ll be tattooing…” he introduces himself and looks between the two of you, silently asking which one of you he would be tattooing. Honestly, you would have expected him to at least  know who he would be drawing on but quickly brush the thought off as you greet him, telling him that you would be the one getting the art onto her skin. He smiles cutely and nods, and you look at Jaehyun, his comforting smile relaxing your tense body. 

Nara talks to Lucas for a minute or so and then walks off, shooting you an encouraging smile before closing the door behind her. 

“So what is it that I’ll be tattooing onto you, ma’am?” Lucas speaks and you show him the image of the flower. Jaehyun is holding your left hand in his, the warmth seeping throughout your entire body and you’re grateful for Jae’s beautiful ability of being able to calm you down in only a matter of seconds- no matter how serious the situation would be. 

“Oh, that’s very pretty.” “Thank you.” you smile at him, and he prepares his stuff. You’re pulling down the hem of your shirt slightly and exposing part of your left collarbone, where you want your collarbone. 

Lucas says that he’s tracing the design out first and you wait patiently. 

“Now, don’t be scared. It’s gonna hurt at first, especially at the bone but it will soon go away. You can hold your boyfriend’s hand.” he instructs and gives you an encouraging look as Jaehyun moves to your  right to give Lucas space, his large hand completely enclosing yours. 

“Okay, here goes…” the sound of the gun whirring to life fills the room that has tattoo designs filling the wall. 

“Fuck!” your voice pierces through the air and you jolt from the sudden pain. It felt as if someone was impaling you with a sword- which was partly true- but they were doing it continuously. Jaehyun is shocked from your sudden movement and struggles to catch you in his arms. Lucas quickly tears the gun away from your neck and you whimper out, the pain searing through your entire being and Jaehyun tries shushing you, his attempts all going in vain. 

Shitshitshit. This is torture. It’s only the first touch of the needle against your skin and you’re already this close to crying. How the fuck do people get those huge ass tattoos?! Trying your best to calm down and ignore the pain spreading throughout your entire being, you squeeze Jaehyun’s hand hard enough for it to pain but you don’t really care at this point, the throbbing of your collarbone enough to send you flying. He’s stood up from the stool by now, standing behind you.

“Okay..sorry sorry, you can continue.” you whisper out and clamp your lips shut so as to not let out any more weird noises. You’re sweating by the time Lucas gets the gun closer to you and bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood when the feeling of the needle pressing against your skin fills you up again.

Holy heck, I can’t do this. 

Your face is an accurate representation of agony, your entire body tensing as Lucas tattoos your collarbone with his long hair slightly brushing against your neck. You try leaning your head back and lean against Jaehyun. He’s whispering soft comforting words as countless profanities leave your mouth and you feel sad for Lucas, having to hear the shit you were spewing. 

“It’s alright, baby. Just think about other things, happy things.” your boyfriend pecks your cheek and hugs you lightly, trying not to disturb Lucas.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale inh-

“I think I just popped a boner.”

You gasp. Lucas chokes. He moves. You shriek.

“Ah, shit!” the gun’s needle scraped against your skin, it was all so sudden. The pain suddenly shoots throughout your entire body, tears filling your eyes. Nononono. 

“Jesus! It’s paining too much!” you’re sobbing by now, Lucas is frantic and Jaehyun..well..he is burning. He’s too busy regretting all his choices to even notice what’s happening around him. Jaehyun bends down to fix his problem and emerges 5 minutes later, when you’re still twisting in torment. Everything is red, your lip being abused by your teeth in order to calm down.

“Y/n! Ma’am! I’m so sorry! Shit, no!” Lucas apologises and sprints over to get a cloth to wipe something you feel trickling down your chest now. Blood. You’re bleeding. 

Writhing in agony in your seat, you clench your hands as if that would somehow reduce the sting, and pant, trying to relax. Your eyes are widened at an attempt of keeping it all in but the throbbing just doesn’t seem to dissipate.

Oh God…

Lucas is now carefully dabbing at the source of blood with panic written clearly all on his face. You look at Jaehyun through the ache to see that he is now coming back to reality and upon seeing your state, a gasp tears his throat and he’s looking at you with his eyes widened. 

The distress prevents you from speaking properly but you manage to call out, “J-Jaehy..Jaehyun.” Said man is desperately looking between your blood gushing out and your face twisted in discomfort. He figures it out and as soon as he does, takes your whimpering form into his, murmuring endless apologies and if you could, you would stop him from saying that but the sting is still there, only lessening a tad bit.

It’s hell, trying to clean the blood away and getting it sorted out. You cried a bit during the process as well but you were perfectly entitled to do that, the gun had pierced your skin quite deep when Lucas had jolted upon hearing what Jae suddenly said. 

30 minutes later, you’re hiccupping slightly and trying to breathe normally after the mad incident. Surprisingly, no one had come in during that time and you were thankful for that, not having wanted anybody to see the mess that had been caused because of Jaehyun’s unexpected confession. Speaking of which, you wince and turn around to look at him and when his eyes meet yours, ask him what he meant “What was that about you popping a boner?” the incredulity just hit you now and you wait for his response impatiently.

“Nothing babe...just forget it. I’m so sorry for saying it so randomly, though. I should’ve thought before speaking. I’m so careless.” the look on his face melts  and you are about to pull him into your chest when you realise that you can’t.

The pain has subsided by now, it’s bearable and you turn to look at Lucas who- when he catches your gaze- immediately walks over to you and starts speaking. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry! That was so sudden and I messed up your tattoo. It’s all my fault, please forgive me if possible.” he looks scared, and you understand why. He probably thinks you’ll sue him or something but you weren’t planning on doing anything of the sort. “It’s alright Lucas. I’m also not gonna tell anyone. We’ll just tell everyone that as soon as the gun touched me, I chickened out and told you to stop.” you keep your hand on his head that’s bowed and he looks up. There are tears brimming his eyes and you don’t know if it’s out of fear or the fact that he genuinely feels terrible for what he did. It really wasn’t his fault anywhere though. You didn’t understand why he was so stressed. 

“I’m sorry Lucas, I just said something stupid without even thinking before. You don’t need to take nay of the blame.” Jaehyun’s voice fills the room and Lucas’ features relax a little before he smiles forcefully. “Well, if your cuts get better, then maybe I can continue the design?” he jokes and you laugh along, knowing all too well that you wouldn’t be coming here again. Your first tattoo and this had happened.

“So do you wanna tell me about that boner-popping now? Lucas isn’t even here.” you’re sitting at the dining table, having just finished your dinner with empty bowls of pasta in front of each of you. Jaehyun shifts slightly in his seat and you wonder if you made him uncomfortable, although you don’t understand why- the reason couldn’t have been that  bad. As soon as you start to backtrack, Jaehyun’s voice is heard.

“Well..just..you know when you were getting the tattoo?” you nod slightly “Lucas was just, his black clothes..and he was bending over and I don’t know. You were whimpering..” “So the scene was too hot and you popped a boner?” you complete his sentence and he meekly nods before you’re howling with laughter, almost falling iff the chair and forgetting about the pain around your collarbone. The bisexual in Jaehyun was showing and he was afraid to admit it, you don’t now why. He had told you about this when you started dating, and you were totally fine with  it, because you knew that he wouldn’t cheat on you. 

“Hey..” your boyfriend half-heartedly attempts to stop you but you’re too far gone to realise that he may be feeling bad. When your laughing fit is over, though, you look at him for any trace of sadness but are relieved to see that he’s only blushing lightly, his dimples showing when he smiles. 

“So, do you wanna get a  tattoo now?” the answer is obvious, given the fact that today did not go as planned. You’re surprised when he answers.

“I don’t think so. My body is a shrine and a tattoo will take away its chastity.”

“Shrine indeed.”

Ty for reading! Yes lmao ik the ending is weird asf, as is the entire story, but nvm

Feedback is always appreciated!

this was supposed to be a drabble for jae’s birthday 😭excuse the typos they’re terrible and i’m literally the most impatient living being you’ll ever encounter

also, the shop name lmao i just got it from google- not creative i know

Tagging: @neoculturedtrash , @jeongjeffrey , @orange-lemon-cross , @nanasimp , @bluejaem​

[one-abuse-survivor]

Do you have any tips on how you deal with your bad trauma days that you're comfortable sharing? I know they won't work for everyone, but I'm having a bit of a nasty trauma day and I'm not quite sure how to handle it tbh. thank you in advance :]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day :( I don't mind sharing, and even if I can only share the things that help me personally, I really hope some of this can help you or someone else! And, of course, the following tips are all coming from someone who is not living in an unsafe or abusive situation anymore; so this might not be helpful for someone having a bad trauma day while still being in a traumatic situation.

I think, for me, one of the most important steps of getting through bad trauma days is to realise I'm having a bad trauma day. During those days, it's easy to get carried away by my messy thoughts and emotions and take them as fact. For example, I might feel really hopeless, or defensive, or out of control, and in the moment those feelings are so real it's hard to remember how it is to not feel that way. It's like my brain decides this is what life as a whole feels like and rolls with it.

When this happens, I try to ask myself is this: “was I feeling this way yesterday?” (or an hour ago, or a three days ago?). “Did I feel like there was no hope for me or like everything was too much and too painful yesterday?” Most often, this far into my recovery, the answer is no. I was having a fine day yesterday. Everything felt under control yesterday. And remembering this this helps me believe it'll feel that way again tomorrow and that what I'm feeling right now is temporary—it's a wave I've ridden many times before, and I just have to ride it again.

Once I've realised this, I take a few minutes to accept that the next few hours or couple or days are gonna be rough and messy, and I’m allowed to not be hard on myself for not achieving the same things I would on a normal day. You know those posts that say "your best looks different every day"? During bad trauma days, I make an effort to accept that my best is going to be very very low, and that's okay. It's okay if all I do is survive, rest, and work on soothing myself and riding the wave. With some luck, everything else will be able to wait a little bit—a couple of hours at the very least.

What I do to get through the worst of it varies. Sometimes, I lie in bed stay away from people and my phone for a bit, because I know I might say or do something impulsive or hurtful. I allow myself as much time as I need to go through all the heavy and ugly emotions and cry if I need to, and only move out of bed when I feel a bit more in charge of myself again.

Sometimes, I vent-write about the emotions I'm going through to express myself. I usually write stories where the characters are experiencing the same things as I am but for completely different reasons so I don't trigger myself further by remembering my own experiences.

Sometimes, I do things that comfort and distract me, like watch a feel-good movie I've watched 30 times or funny/cute videos online.

I always try to allow myself anything my body tells me I need in the moment (as long as it's not self-destructive, of course). If I'm craving something salty, I'll eat a bag of chips, for example. If I need to cancel plans, or to turn the lights off, or to lie down, or to put on clothes with soothing textures, or to hug a stuffed toy, I'll do those things. If I start falling asleep, I allow myself to fall asleep. I've found when I'm in distress it's pretty easy for me to know what my body needs, but it's also easy to try to deny myself those things because I feel like “they're silly or I don't deserve them”. So I make a conscious effort to fight that voice and try to treat myself like a would any sick person I was taking care of: with compassion.

In addition, I think it’s a good idea to keep around things or tools you might need in future bad days. For example, when I cry, I usually crave something tasty afterwards, so I try to keep a small stash of snacks around that I can turn to on bad days (since during those days I might not be able to go buy them). Other people might find it helpful to have apps like Calm Harm or Emergency Chat installed, or to carry a comfort item or a stim toy around, or to own an extra soft blanket or something you bought for the sole purpose of breaking it if you really need to break something at any point. 

Of course, not all these things can always be done—sometimes you're not home or you have responsibilities to attend to, and can’t just take a nap or distract yourself. But I think just being aware of your needs during bad trauma days, and allowing yourself to meet those needs when possible even if it means putting almost everything else on hold for a little bit, can really go a long way.

I also think even though an important part of trauma recovery can be to step out of your comfort zone and face things that feel scary and unsafe, during bad trauma days it's okay to stay in your comfort zone and not face those things. So if, for example, busses make you feel unsafe or anxious, but you're making an effort to ride them when you need to (instead of avoiding them at all costs), I think it's okay if facing the bus is too much during a bad trauma day and you end up avoiding it. You don’t need to be hard on yourself for it. Again, your best doesn’t have to look like it usually does. Bad trauma days are survival days, not recovery days. You can work on continuing to recover when you're feeling better again.

Sending a virtual hug ❤ I hope you feel better soon, and if anyone else wants to share their advice, you’re more than welcome to!

[stellar-imagines]

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝unpleasant news.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Todoroki Shouto ]

「Scenario of Todoroki’s S/O being critically injured by villains and she doesn’t come to class one day and suddenly their phones all go off with the breaking news report about what happened.」

TODOROKI SHOUTO

"The convenience store? At this hour?" Todoroki questioned.

Todoroki took a moment to glance over at the clock sitting on his desk. It was quite late at night and not the time for you to be going out to the convenience store. He put down the pencil that he had been using to do his homework and picked up his phone before heading to his futon that was spread out on the ground. He made himself comfortable before putting his phone on speaker. He could hear you moving about in your room, grabbing a few things before leaving. He could even hear you telling your mother that you were going to head out soon.

On the other hand, you were busy putting on your shoes, your mother reminding you to be careful on your way out, even though the store was just a few minutes away. The two of you had the habit of calling each other before going to bed so calling at this hour wasn't that uncommon at all. There was just something romantic with calling before bed and Todoroki seemed to be quite fond of doing something like this every day. He believes that hearing your voice before ending the day was such a wonderful thing.

"My mom used up all of the eggs and soy sauce for dinner and those are kind of a necessity for tomorrow's breakfast so....." you were walking down the empty streets, looking left and right before crossing roads.

"Ah, I see. Anyway, be careful. I'll see you tomorrow at school." Todoroki said.

You said your goodbyes before putting away your phone. There were still a few cars here and there but the road was still devoid of people. The store itself was empty, there were only employees present at the moment, most were seen chatting by register while the rest busied themselves with cleaning. Upon your arrival, the staff greeted you warmly. You quickly bought what your mother had requested, along with some snacks that you will be having for yourself.  When you finished shopping, your mom has asked about your whereabouts while Todoroki texted you to call him once you got home and told you to stay safe. You replied to both texts while you were still inside the store.

On the way home, you heard a bit of rustling by the alleyway ahead of you, followed by a few voices. You thought nothing much about it until three figures emerged from the alleyway which made you stop abruptly. Two were men, both donning a mask the covers half of the lower face. The last one was a female who looked like she was being dragged away against her will, judging from the small cuts on her arms and the bruises. She looked no older than 30 years old who looked like she worked at a company. It didn't take long for you to understand what's going on.

"I thought you said that no one uses this road at night!"

"And I thought I told you that it depends!"

The two suspicious men argued with one another while you took the chance to assess the current situation. It was late at night and then chances of other heores coming is very slim. You put aside your bag and got into a fighting stance. Without warning, you lunged forward to secure the victim while they were still arguing amongst themselves and leaving themselves open. They both looked genuinely surprised at how quick you acted and immediately turned towards you. The villains attempted to attack you but you blocked their attack and stepped back. The woman stirred awake from all the noise and movement.  

"You're awake. That's great. You don't seem to have major injuries, please rest assured and let me handle this." you smiled gently at the woman who was still trying to comprehend what was going on.

"Judging from the way you move.....you must be a hero in training."

"Don't blame us if you get hurt."

With that, you exchanged blows with the two unknown masked figures.

The next day was a nice and clear day. Todoroki finds himself quite disturbed at how nice the day was, he woke up feeling extremely exhausted and noticed that he still had his phone in hand. He quickly got up to ready himself for school, putting his phone aside and kicking off the blankets. By the time he stepped out of the house, he had his eyes on his phone. In the end, you didn't give him a call once you got back home. Todoroki assumed that you probably didn't want to disturb him and decide to leave him alone to sleep. Then again, he could see you at school anyways.

"Good morning, Todoroki-kun!"

He heard Midoriya's voice while he was changing his shoes by the lockers. Following the green-haired male were Uraraka and Iida who were waving at Todoroki as well.

"Oh, everyone.....Good morning." 

"Uwah, what's with that tired look on your face?" Uraraka questioned.

"I was just thinking about something." the bicolored haired male replied.

The four students headed to Class 1-A, only to see that their classmates chatting with one another. Todoroki headed to his seat at the back, paying no heed to whatever was going on within the classroom. His phone vibrated within his pocket, a bit too violently that it annoyed him a bit. It wasn't until he sat down that he pulled out his phone He finds a few messages from his older siblings, others were notification from other apps that told him about the most recent news. In the group chat he was in, which had all Fuyumi and Natsuo in it, had numerous notifications. It seemed like the two were calling for him. He scrolled up and found a link to a certain page. There he saw a video of a live broadcast from just a minute ago.

"This just in! The police and pro heroes had managed to capture two villains who have been wreaking havoc for the past month." the loud volume was enough to attract a few people's attention. A few students gathered around Todoroki to see what was going on. On display was a video of civilians surrounding the site while the police tried to keep them in check.

"The two villains were famous slave traders, attacking at random patterns which threw the police force and pro heroes off guard with their timing. Here we are, interviewing the victim from last night." the camera then switched over towards a woman who was seated at the back of the hospital, fresh bandages littering her arms and some on her face.

"I remember going home and suddenly, I was pulled into the alleyway. After that, everything was blurry but I was saved by a hero. She was really kind and prioritized my safety. Even though she was still a student, I could tell that she's going to be a great hero someday. She was critically injured when I finally regained consciousness but at that moment the villains were already defeated, yet she still tended to my injuries and even called an ambulance for me. Although it might not be enough, I would like to pay for her hospital bills." the woman had a solemn yet sad look on her as if she could feel someone else's pain.

"The student turned out to be a first-year student from the hero course of UA. She goes by the name [Last Name] [First Name]....."

After that, everything became silent for Todoroki. The news was too heavy for him to take in right now. He managed to put all the pieces together. The reason as to why you didn't bother to even send him a message. His classmates began talking amongst themselves while keeping their eyes onto Todoroki's phone screen. They were so focused on the news that they failed to notice that their homeroom teacher had entered the classroom, ready to start school.

"What are you all doing? Put your phones away, it's time for homeroom." Aizawa put down his attendance book onto the table.

"Sensei! Did you know about this?" Kaminari showed the teacher his phone which had an article that contained information about your heroic deeds and hospitalization. Aizawa looked at the phone for a few moments before looking at everyone in the class to see their expressions. As expected, everyone was worried. You were one of the lively students in the class that can change the mood so this was expected.

"I know that you're all worried but there's nothing you can do about it. Let the pros handle it. You all can go visit her after school so just be quiet and pay attention because I'm not gonna repeat this again." Aizawa quickly changed the direction of the conversation and finished off homeroom. Throughout the entire day, everyone was quite worried about you.

During lunch break, Todoroki had the chance to use his phone and the first thing he did was call you. However, it was your mother who had picked up instead. Judging from how relaxed your mother sounded, Todoroki could deduce that you're not in a serious condition. Your mother had told him what he needed to know, which includes your well being and a detailed explanation of what exactly happened last night. He hung up once he heard his classmates calling him to go back to class. After he sat down on his seat and pulled out his textbook, he made a mental note to go to the bakery to buy your favorite stuff before visiting you.

As soon as classes ended, Todoroki was already packing his things as fast as possible. Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka had stopped him before he had left, telling the bicolored haired male that they wanted to visit you as well. They stopped by the bakery by the train station before taking a 5-minute walk to the hospital. By the time they arrive, the sky’s color had changed. The receptionist was kind enough to guide the four students to your room despite the busy schedule she probably has. The moment they arrived in front of the room you were resting in, a nurse exited the room with a few papers in hand.

”Oh, you all must be [Last Name]-san’s visitors. Thank you for coming so far to visit but it's not the right time. She’s currently resting after an operation. Sorry but perhaps, maybe you can come to visit tomorrow.” the nursed smiled apologetically at the four. Iida shook his head, telling the nurse that there’s no need to apologize for something she couldn’t control.

Though they were disappointed, they knew that it was best to not disturb your slumber and let you get as much rest as you possibly could. Todoroki voiced out that he wanted to stay and said something about wanted to see you. Uraraka handed him the flowers she, Midoriya, and Iida had bought together, telling him to say hello for her in case you wake up. The three said their goodbyes before heading towards the elevator. The nurse guided the bicolored haired male into the room and drew the curtains together. Once he was within your room, he took a moment to study the interior.

The hospital wasn’t unfamiliar to him at all, since he often visited his mother during the weekends. But, he decided to explore the room. There was a wall-mounted TV right in front of your bed, it looked like the latest model. A window giving him a view of the world below. In the corner were two chairs with a short, rectangular coffee table. Todoroki set down the bag that held your favorite desserts and placed the flowers in the vase. He dragged the chair next to your bed and sat down, eyes fixated on your sleeping form. He felt useless. He reached for your hand, feeling how cold it was beneath his fingertips.

"She has internal bleeding and suffered temporary blood loss. When she came in, she was bleeding all over but thankfully, we had a donor. The doctors say that they're unsure when she will wake up but for now, they did all they can." the nurse assured Todoroki after seeing the frown etched onto his face. The nurse excused herself and left the room.

All he could think was how he could've prevented this if he offered to accompany you last night. Seeing you on the hospital bed reminded him of how dangerous being a hero actually is and how fragile a person's life was. He squeezed your hand gently, silently hoping that you would wake up and return the gesture. What if you never wake up? What would happen if you were to disappear completely from his life? From your family and friends? He didn't know when he started relying on your comfort and reassuring words.

You were like a ray of sunshine, devoid of impurities, and darkness. When he was at his lowest and angry at himself for getting riled up at the thought of his father, you were there for him. You didn't have to say anything to make him feel at ease. You would do it unconsciously, coming into his room and surprising him with some baked goods or sneaking up on him to give him a hug. Though they were only little things, it was enough to cheer him up. Your presence itself was a blessing in disguise.

He hoped that he treated you well enough.

But he knows that you're strong and that you will pull through. Todoroki knows what he should do now. He should take care of himself and be the one to take care of you once you wake up. It may not be enough to repay you for all the times you stayed with him but it was the least he could do.

"I'll come back tomorrow."

Hopefully by then, you'll be awake.

Total: 2323 words Published: 27.08.2020

Thank you to those who participated in the poll!

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We did our best with this scenario and it turn out as angsty as we thought. And we didn’t really make that sad hospital scene. But we hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! There’s a lot of things we could’ve improved but we didn’t really know what we should do. Hope you liked it, anon! ― author Natsuki

Requests are open! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[fanfics-arent-therapy-but-idc]

Adventures of a HYBE intern 📋🖇🖊

Enhyphen edition pt.3

Fluff but not necessarily romantic (can be interpreted however)

Jake

“Alright everyone that’s a wrap for today’s shoot! Thank you to the boys for letting us off early today by doing a great job,” the director shouted from his bullhorn while the rest of the staff as well as Enhypen cheered. Your cheers had to be one of the most enthusiastic and probably the longest. Although you loved working as a makeup staff intern, the thought of a Friday night off was enough to get you to clap and scream.

You and a few of the makeup artists waited around for a while, knowing that one of the boys would ask for some sort of makeup removal solution. It was a running joke within the makeup crew and the boys that were running a very high tab on these products and they should save up to pay them back soon. Just as you were about to call it quits, Jake sprints up to you in his new, casual outfit consisting of baggy jeans and a black turtleneck.

“Okay okay this is really the last time I’ll ask for those little bottles of removal. Just one more time and then I’ll order my own,” he begged. From behind you the laughs of your coworkers were emerging and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll believe it when I see the receipt, Sim. For now, I will have to raise the interest on your ever growing tab,” you reply while he holds his hands out for the removal.

As you unzip your black fanny pack, a familiar voice bursts into the space between you and Jake.

“y/n, DO NOT hand him a bottle of that magic water. He’s gonna need his makeup for when go to...wait for it… wait for it-”

“Just say it bro!” Jake interrupts the assistant choreographer, and his good friend. As a makeup artist, you spend a lot of time with choreographers, and this boy was most definitely unforgettable.

“KARAOKE!” he shouts so loud that both you and Jake plug your ears to mute him. Around you, fellow staff nod and clap at the idea, a few friends of yours asking to join. Jake ran back to his members who were waiting for him and soon they were gone, waving goodbye to Jake and our crew.

“Alright I’m ready to roll!” Jake says enthusiastically when he returns.

“What about the boys? Are they coming too?” you ask. You would hate to leave anyone out or take Jake away from any plans with his members.

“Nah, Heeseung and riki had a FIFA rematch planned today, Sunghoon’s FaceTiming his sister, and I think Jay is going to try to teach Jungwon how to make corn cheese,” he replied. You nodded in response and then turned your attention to the person who started this whole event.

“So, where are we going?” you ask interrogatively. In the short time you’ve known this man, he has not been one to trust to have a plan.

“What do you mean where are we going there’s like twenty karaoke spots within ten miles of here!” he exclaims and you hold back the urge to strangle him. The rest of your friends sigh with you and Jake just giggles.

“HELLOOO we can’t just walk into to any karaoke bar! We have Sim Jaeyun, member of a very popular global kpop group with us. Do you want us to get stormed by fans?” you accuse dramatically. Jake continues to laugh and from the corner of your eye you watch him ask himself ‘am I really that famous?’

“Okay okay please stop yelling I know a place where a lot of idols go. It’s very private and discreet. In fact they’re so private that they only take-“

“OKAY sounds great let’s go!” Jake exclaims and your group of five head to the venue in your respective vehicles.

Three plates of snacks and BTS’ entire discography later, you check your phone for the time.

9:45 PM- REMINDER: txt studio choom set tomorrow!!!

As Jake belted JK’s last line in ‘My Time’, you stood up to get the group’s attention.

“Guys I gotta head out, I need to be at Studio Choom bright and early tomorrow. How much do I owe you for tonight?” you ask the host of this surprisingly fun night.

“Yeah we’re gonna be at that shoot too so we’re going to head out as well,” said your two friends.

“Studio Choom… ohhh with txt I’m gonna be there too! Thanks y/n I almost forgot,” he replied while on the calculator app.

“So we’re all heading out?” Jake asked. “Thanks for a fun night tonight and have fun at the shoot!” he finishes enthusiastically and reaches in his pocket for his wallet.

“Okay, so splitting everything equally, we each owe $46,000 won”.

As Jake and you pull out your credit cards, the rest of the group watches with confused faces while you and Jake stare in shock at your friends pulling out large wads of cash.

“You guys do know that this place only takes cash, right?’’ your friend asks cautiously, so as not to upset you.

“NO!” you and Jake both exclaim in unison

“Well, I did try to tell you guys, but I was rudely interrupted,” he pouted while your other friends agreed shyly. You watched in shock as your friends counted their cash over and over again, each time not having enough to cover you or Jake’s charge.

“Don’t worry guys the owner here has a policy put in place for situations just like this,” said one of your friends who was grabbing their purse and headed for the door.

Relieved that you and Jake wouldn’t have to call anyone from HYBE to handle the situation you released the tension in your shoulders. “Okay, what do we have to do?’ you asked, energized and ready to get home as soon as possible.

“How fast can you wash dishes? And Jake...how fast are you at writing signatures?” Loud groans could be heard from the side of the room where you and Jake were slumped in your chairs.

“Don’t worry y/n I’ll make it up to you at the shoot tomorrow… if you make it.”

You threw a pillow at the door.

“Why do we hang out with him again?” Jake asked, his fingers massaging his temples vigorously.

“I have no idea,”.