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#gonna try and work on house of sleep stuff today
foxgloveinspace · 6 months
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disdaidal · 8 months
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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toastsnaffler · 9 months
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urghhhh..
#dr has given me a choice whether to try a different long acting (elvanse) or a short acting 2-3x daily (unspecified) instead of concerta#i dont knooow. long acting is more convenient for me bc i work long days and dont rly wanna have to take meds in w me#plus my lunch break has to be flexible so itd be hard to be consistent abt taking a 2nd short acting dose in the day..#but also long acting is more likely to mess w my sleep like concerta did innit.#well i dunno. ik ppl have different responses to each so we'll see. itd probably be good to at least have tried both#ill make a decision and let her know tomorrow im too tired and irritable to write any more emails today#sorry for going on abt this stuff so much typing just helps me think#also i think part of the reason i had such a bad time on concerta is probably bc when the acid reflux got rough i took rennie to deal w it#but antacids actually interact w stimulants lmao i did not know that and it wasnt in the info i was given. well.#would be nice if it DIDNT give me acid reflux and nausea in the first place tho... and i dont think i can tolerate either of those-#without my best friend rennie anyway so i guess it just wasnt to be#im leaning towards elvanse first i can always try short acting if it doesnt help i guess#and then possibly non stimulants if that doesnt help either. its not the end of the road yet ive just been dramatic abt it..#sighs loud enough to blow down a little pigs house. okay im gonna chill in bed and sleep early tonight i procrastinated sleeping too-#much yesterday and thats probably why ive been so irritable today yeurgh. love u guys byebye#.diaries
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icebearpopsicle · 3 months
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⁠✧Baby Steps⁠✧
(Shouta Aizawa X G.N. Reader)
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Warnings: Aizawa is 38 here, age gap (like it's 13 years), smut part is shitty and kinda rushed, excessive use of the word "as" because i literally cannot write, gentle dom, aizawa is kinda overbearing, dub con(?) jus towards the end though,
Word count: 2.3k+ words
Author's note: this is shitty but i hope you enjoy it ♡ ♡/ aizawa is out of character/ smut is bad cuz i am even worse at that sorry ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ/
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You stretched your back, hands clasped behind your head, hearing the faint sound of your spine cracking against the support of your chair. It has been hours since you started scrolling, looking for a job, your palm sweaty from holding the mouse. A click here, a click there, and a scroll downwards, then upwards again. You had recently moved here after graduation, and while you were managing well initially, the high cost of your apartment and day-to-day expenses had become too much to sustain without a source of income.
You scrolled further down when the computer screen displayed some words that caught your interest:
Name: Shouta Aizawa
Age: 38
Requirement(s): Babysitter
Requirement Information: 2 kids
Salary: To be negotiated later on
Contact details: [email protected] / XXXXX-XXXXX
Posted 1 hour ago
Okay, yeah, that was pretty brief, but the timing gave you hope that you might just get the job, so you clicked on his phone number and started typing away on your keyboard.
"Hello, I saw your post about wanting a babysitter and I was wondering if the spot was still free?"
You hit the send button and got up from your seat for the first time in hours for a small break. After about 20 minutes, you checked for a response and opened the chat again.
"Yes, it is. If you're interested, please come tomorrow at 8 am if you're available," followed by a link to his location.
A smile claimed your lips at the excitement of finally landing a job after so many tries.
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When you saw his age, you definitely didn't expect him to be this... hot? Which father of two kids is this hot?
"Good morning. I believe you contacted me yesterday evening, yeah?" His smooth, deep voice is like music to your ears as you look at the sleep-deprived man towering over you. Rough stubble covers his face, his hair cascading to his shoulders, as his broad shoulders lean against the door frame.
"Oh... ah... yes, good morning. It was indeed me who contacted you... sir," you reply as he gestures for you to enter his house. You then take notice of his lavish yet cozy home, with toys scattered in the hallway. You both enter the kitchen, and he jerks his head toward a seat at the table with a low hum.
"Would you like to drink anything?" he asks, picking up his mug from the table as you shake your head.
"I am gonna be asking you a few questions and I need you to be honest with your answers." he commands, taking a seat opposite you. His black shirt puling slightly upwards, revealing his wrists as you give a simple nod.
"Firstly... What is your age?" He asks taking a sip from his mug.
"I am 25 years old.. sir.." You reply confidently however there is a frown on his face at your response. Was he... Upset? Afraid to loose this opportunity you quickly try and talk about your past experiences with kids as he interrupts you.
"No, it's not that I just hope you aren't lying about your age"
"Why... Would I?" You ask with a frown enveloping your face.
"I wouldn't believe you to be 18 with a face like that" He replies his tone rather blunt.
Ouch. His straightforwardness stinging lightly.
"Moving forward... do you party, drink or any of those stuff?"
"No, sir."
"Hmmm ... Fine, I suppose you can start working from today"
You give him a small smile as you mutter a small 'thank you'.
"Got any questions?"
"Actually yes! I was wondering where the kids might be so that I could ensure they're comfortable with me being around!!"
He gives a slight nod before replying his voice surprisingly gentle and low when talking about them "Yeah, they're sleeping right now. My eldest son; he wakes up at 9 and my daughter wakes up at 10:30." He gestures to a picture on the mantle showing a purple haired boy and grey haired girl laughing and playing together as you hear the faint sound of him taking a sip from his mug.
"They are so adorable." You gush smiling at their innocent faces. "And could I get some more information on what their personalities are like?"
"Hm.." he hums as he finishes the drink on his mug and sets it down on the table.
"Well my son is 9 years old, Shinsou that's his name, he doesn't warm up easily to people but he is quiet and usually plays with Eri or alone. Eri is my daughter she is 5 and quite literally the opposite of her brother, ahem.. she is talkative and quite sensitive. None of them are picky about their food, they eat anything that they're given and nor do they have any allergies.. and yeah that's about it.." He says rubbing his hands together and you can hear how rough and dry they are.
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It had been two weeks since you started working in his house and only then you realised how often Shouta stayed away from home, any free time he got he would spend it with his children, taking them out for activities, cooking for them, playing with them, seeing how close he was with his son and daughter often left you with a smile on your lips at the close bond of the family. True to Shouta's word you could really see the difference in the way Shinsou would behave around you and around his father or sister and somewhere deep down you were a bit upset but you knew that all of this takes time and as long he was comfortable enough to have you around you were fine. But Eri on the other hand was absolutely adorable, she adored you and you adored her, say if you were watching Shinsou and Eri play it was Eri who would call you over and ask you to play with them. Aizawa on the other hand was always kind and formal with you sometimes even bringing takeaway for you, but whenever he was over you couldn't help but just look at his biceps the way they would bulge out from his shirt when he folded his arms, the way his hands would be disturbed with veins when his grip would tighten even in the slightest, and maybe.... Just maybe, you tried to catch his attention by wearing really short shorts or a tshirt that hug your body just at the right places.
But alas it was only you who kept drooling over him....
or that's what you thought...
You were seemingly unaware the amount of self control Aizawa had to practice just not to fuck you dumb on his cock.
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It had been three months since you started working for him and you still found your gaze lingering on him for too long, initially it was at his face, then down to his broad shoulders, and then his chest, then it was further down to his hands and finally it was on his......
"Are you sad cuz papa isn't home today?" You hear the innocent voice of Shinsou behind you having counted your sighs since you woke up, which was according to him, around 32.
"No, no of course not Shinsou.. I am totally fine, just a bit tired" You lied, obviously you would. Why would you admit to finding Shinsou's father hot. Other than the fact that you want him to ruin you till you can't form any thoughts. And you definitely were sad that Aizawa was working till 9 pm that too on a Sunday.
Shinsou mumbles an "Okay..." walking away to colour his book that he had been previously doing before being worried about you. A few minutes after he had approached you, your face suddenly lit up as you realised that Shinsou was worried about you, you rushed up to him from the kitchen counter to the living room abruptly sitting down in front of him
"Are you worried about me Shinsou?" You ask excitedly your smile radiant. Shinsou earlier looking up at you looks away from embarrassment not replying, his ears turni red and you just couldn't help the aww that left your lips.
"Awww you're so cute!!" You squeal and your hand automatically goes to ruffle his hair and he doesn't pull away not this time and you realise that he has gotten comfortable with you, at that moment the door clicks open as Aizawa enters the house and peeks into the living room to see what the commotion was about.
"Papa!!!!" Eri squeals noticing her dad in the hallway as she runs up to him and Aizawa picks her up his voice gentle and soothing "Hey my love" He says kissing her on the cheek as she giggles from his stubble pricking her soft skin.
"Sup kiddo" Aizawa comes near you and Shinsou with Eri in his arms.
"Hello.." Shinsou greets him quietly as Aizawa bends down to ruffle his hair.
"All good?" Aizawa asks him and Shinsou nods as he goes back to colouring his book, Aizawa finally looks at you making your heart almost leap out as he gave you a small smirk "You seem happy, what's up?" He asks with a small groan as he puts Eri on the floor and she runs off playing "Shinsou let me ruffle his hair and he was worried about me!!" You reply excitedly your wide smile bringing a low chuckle from him.
"Oh yeah? What exactly were you worried about Shin?" Aizawa questions sitting down to look at what his son is colouring.
"(Name)-san was sad that you were working this late" Shinsou replies nonchalantly and you swear your eyes hadnt widened this much in your life, you feel the heat rush to your cheeks and Aizawa's eyebrows raise as he gives you a quick side glance before looking at Shinsou, he is about to say something when you interject denying strongly. "Shinsou!! I told you I was tired!! Thats not the case!!"
"Or, tired they say" He adds briefly, Aizawa doesn't even get the chance to say anything as you immediately get up picking up Eri and Shinsou taking them to their individual rooms ignoring any protests of Shinsou claiming how he was a big boy and he could stay up late, you argue with Shinsou for atleast half an hour before he finally agrees to sleep even though he was angry at you.
You head downstairs sighing and praying that Aizawa didn't pay much heed to whatever Shinsou said before as you head towards the living room to pick up the scattered toys and crayons only to be met with the sight of Aizawa sitting on the couch and while normally he isn't intimidating the way he sat with eyes closed, arms folded his right leg over his left reminded you of your father and his strict nature slightly intimidating you, quietly you pick up the toys glad that he fell asleep; as you picked the last of the toys you heard Aizawa's voice boom through making you freeze in your tracks "Still upset that I had work today?" You dont reply for a long time not trusting yourself to speak but when you do your voice is slightly shaky "No... No not at all.. why would I be.. you know Shinsou he just says whatever he wants..."
"Oh yeah? Does he?"
"........ okay well not ... Not exactly....."
You mumbel turning around to face Aizawa only to find him standing infront of you as looking down at your compared to his smaller form.
"Well then, answer my question."
You look away nervously chewing on your bottom lip, coating them pink with saliva, Aizawa tries to resist the urge to kiss you but fails as he grabs your face roughly pulling it closer to his, smashing his lips with yours. The kiss is sloppy and desperate and you can sense the sexual tension between you melting away.
You both pull free from the kiss, the room filled with pants, yours being much louder than his, taking in huge gulps of air.
You feel Aizawas arms wrap around your waist pulling you closer towards him.
"My room or the couch?" He whispers in your right ear his voice sending shivers along your spine.
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It had been an hour since Aizawa had been prepping you after finding out you were a virgin, where once it burned to even have a single finger of his inside you, now you could easily 4 of his fingers at once.
Yet, tears spilled from your eyes when Aizawa pushes his dick (just the tip) inside you as Aizawa kisses away you tears with soft coo's of 'just a bit more' 'you're doing so good baby' 'it's just a few more minutes yeah, we will start to feel good real soon' rubbing soothing circles in your back as you sink your face into his shoulder blades, his intoxicating cologne filling your nostrils; finally after what felt like an eternity your hole sits down on his his dick as he gradually thrusts into you making you whimper and groan.
"So fucking good for me.. shit... Ugh... Fuck so tight, so fucking compliant.... Shit baby .. you feel so good"
You hear him praise you but you're barely able to register even a single word due to your muddled state of mind, your whines get louder, his thrusts getting more faster and rapid now. He hits a particularly sweet spot as you rise your head to scream at the pleasure coursing through your body "That's the spot is it." Aizawa grunts angling his hips to hit that spot, chortling at your desperate and meek attempt to push him away.
"Cum... Sh...shit... Gonna cum... Fuck..."
"Yeah? Gonna come for me? Gonna come from this cock fucking you stupid?"
You nod your head frantically chanting a mantra of 'so good's', orgasm coursing through your body, your body trembling from the aftermath of your orgasm as you lay limp against his chest.
After what feels like a few minutes you feel Aizawa thrust into you making you whine from the overstimulation
"Cant... No... No please... Hurts..."
You try to push him away only for him grab your wrists with his hand behind your back as he increases the pace of his thrusts
"I am yet to come baby, just a few more rounds 'kay?"
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bradleybeachbabe · 1 year
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Ok so there is a serious shortage of Tim Bradford stuff on tumblr and the gasp i gusped when i saw you were taking requests was very big.
So how about him being his usual hard and grumpy self and his pregnant wife coming to the station angry about something and him turning into a big softie. Like she’s almost scolding him about something and the others staring like ‚who is this man?‘. Obviously Angela knows what’s up but the rookie are like 🫨
Thanks so much!!💗
here you go anon <3 hope i did you justice on this! also i really enjoyed writing this!
warnings: pregnancy, not beta read
a/n: i haven’t posted in blurbs in forever, so please bare with me on this!
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you have been angry at the slightest things lately, whether it being how hot it is outside, not being able to put on your shoes, not having your favorite ice cream in your freezer, etc. the list could go on, and yet it could be to the fact that you’re seven months and half pregnant, because ever since you entered your third trimester the slightest things have been making you angry. and now you’re even angrier than you have been throughout your third trimester, and it’s all because the air conditioning has decided to stop working in your house, so with that being said you have decided to head down to the station to tell tim, your husband, all about it.
when you arrived at the station, you were lucky enough that you didn’t have to wait in the front lobby of the station for tim to come out and talk to you. the officer who was working at the front desk knew who you were, so you were able to just go to the back where all of the officers’ desks are, to find tim.
when you entered the back, you were lucky enough to find tim sitting at his desk, talking to angela about whatever. when you were walking over to where his desk was, angela spotted you.
“looks like you got some company,” angela nodded her head toward your direction.
tim turned his head and saw you waddling towards him.
“i’m gonna give you two some privacy,” angela said as she left tim’s desk and walked over to where john, lucy, and jackson were standing.
“who’s that?” jackson quipped when angela approached.
“tim’s wife, y/n,” angela answered.
“tim has a wife?” lucy, john, and jackson all asked at the time.
“yeah, they have been married for about three years now. and of course, they are now expecting their first baby in a few months.”
“wow, i did not know that,” lucy said.
“yeah, tim tends to keep his work and personal life separate,” angela said.
“hmm…now i’m wondering why she showed up to talk to tim,” lucy said.
“honestly, whatever it is, it’s gonna look good on his end,” angela smirked as she took a sip of her coffee.
“what are you doing here?” tim asked with a confused tone when you approached his desk. “is everything okay? is the baby okay?” he added.
“no, everything is not okay. the bright side is, that the baby is okay.”
“well, what’s wrong then?” tim asked.
“what’s wrong is that the air conditioning has stopped working at the house, and now i’m super hot, sweaty, i'm upset, and especially angry because of that,” you explained.
tim just looked at you with soft eyes. he felt bad for you. he hated seeing you angry and upset. he knew how irritated you could get whenever you’re hot.
“i can try and fix it when i get home later today,” tim stated.
“what time will you be home?” you questioned him.
“maybe around five, it all just depends if i can get all this paperwork done before that time.”
“oh,” you frowned.
tim sighed, “you want me to leave work right now, so then i can fix the air conditioning? don’t you?”
“please.”
you already knew what tim’s answer was gonna be. he wasn’t gonna, ‘no’ or anything like that. plus, if he did, most likely he would end up sleeping on the couch for the night.
“okay, i’ll leave right now,” tim said. “let me go inform sergeant grey that i’m gonna leave early.”
tim got up from his seat at his desk to head to sergeant grey office. and when he did get up, he quickly kissed your temple, and quickly laid one of his hands on your bump, before he walked off.
while you were waiting for tim to get back from sergeant grey’s office, you saw out of the corner of your eye, angela and by the looks of it, three rookies standing with her. the three rookies had shocking looks on their faces while angela couldn’t help herself from smirking. you already knew why angela had that smirk on her face. she already knew that tim has a huge soft side, and that soft side is only reserved for you, and your baby who is gonna be born in a few months. on the other hand, the rookies didn’t know tim’s soft side at all, so of course all of them had shocking looks on their faces.
“sergeant grey is okay with me going home early today,” tim said as he approached you.
“did he ask why you’re going home early today?”
“yes,” tim nodded his head.
“did he think your reason for leaving early was kinda odd and crazy,” you asked.
“yeah,” tim nodded. “but luckily he isn’t giving me a hard time about this,” he added.
“well, that’s good then.”
tim turned off his computer and pushed his desk car in, and you two walked out hand in hand with each other.
“told ya,” angela said as she walked off. while lucy, john, and jackson were still standing there with shocking looks on their faces, trying to gather the pieces together that tim has a soft side.
blurb night!
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notroosterbradshaw · 10 months
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about: just some smut to fend off jetlag. i love sleepy Bradley, I make no excuses that I feel he does his best work in the early hours of the day. This was supposed to be a drabble… it’s not anymore. Sorry.
word count: 3.2k
warnings: nsfw 18+, language, pure fluff, smut.
masterlist.
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The morning after the night before when Bradley met your family for the first time, you'd flown across the world to surprise your dad for his birthday and really, it luckily coincided with Bradley's time off. When you mentioned heading home for your old man's special day that usually kicked off your family's holiday season, you almost fell out of your seat when he said maybe it was time he met the fam face-to-face, not just making small talk over FaceTime. It almost didn’t seem fair that he was subjected to meeting everyone this way, but alas… here you were the next morning, jet lag kicking in while wrapped protectively in Bradley’s strong, golden arms and washed in the relief your family fucking loved him. You weren't overly surprised. 
Bradley's quiet, unassuming charm was just who your mum wanted you to end up with, he was into golf and surfing, so your dad and brothers thought he was the bee's knees. Your sister on the other hand... 
You had to fend her off more than you would have liked. You were confident in your relationship with Bradley, knowing he'd never allow anything to happen. "You're coming across a little desperate," you hissed after one or two drinks, which mortified her, and she apologised, admitting she was just happy to finally get to meet the guy who'd swept you off your feet. "Yes, my feet," you reminded her. When she pointed out how possessive you sounded, you didn't deny it. But she got it and gave you space for the rest of the evening. 
Ahh, sisters. 
Bradley felt your body writhe in the gentlest of movements against his and he sighed. Sleep hadn’t come easy for either of you and compounded with the food and booze you’d indulged in the day before, neither of you slept much. “You okay, sweetheart?” he whispered at God-knows-what-o’clock. 
“What time is it?” You asked softly.
“I dunno, baby. Sun is barely rising,” he admitted. “Can’t hear a peep in the house.”
Which was nice because yesterday was intense. Everyone was so excited to meet your new American boyfriend (fairly, it’d been about eight months, give or take with a few deployments), the incredibly handsome navy pilot whom you’d met one evening at a naval bar while travelling. You’d caught his eyes behind his sunglasses while he played the piano, the crowd around him as swept away with him as you were. The first half-smile in your direction, as he sang, had done you over in a way not one single person on the planet had before. 
He'd charmed you instantly. He still charmed you constantly. 
“Did you get any sleep?” you asked, biting back a yawn.
“Not really,” he peppered tender kisses into your shoulder blade and smiled into your skin as you pressed back into him, the oh-so-quiet moan made for his ears only waking him from his dreaded fog as well. “I’ll try and get a kip somewhere today. That fuckin’ flight murdered me.” 
“You were happy to fly economy,” you muttered. “I know you’re used to tight quarters, but fuck Bradley. It was 15 hours." 
“I know, I know I fucked up. I was looking at upgrades overnight. I’ll use my discount and stuff; we can do it flying home.”
“You sure?”
“Sue me for wanting to save a buck,” he sighed, with a tired, deep chuckle. “Flight was so full; people may as well have been sitting on the wings.”
“It’s Christmas. People travel.”
“You don't say,” he affectionately gripped your waist, rolling you to him and kissed you. “Good morning, I think," he nuzzled your nose against his and asked if you wanted some water or anything.
You shook your head, rolling back and snuggling into him as he adjusted his arms around you again, his nose buried in your hair. "I think Dad is gonna expect you for at least nine holes today." 
"I think so, yeah. Grill me and make sure I'm good enough for his little girl.” He murmured and if he was honest, he was the teeniest bit nervous. He’d never really been in relationships long enough to meet families… and who would he introduce anyone to, except for Mav?
"I think you'll be fine."
"He probably wouldn't be if he knew what a deviant I've turned his smart, beautiful baby girl into.”
You giggled quietly as you could feel the soft ends of his moustache curve into a smirk against the nape of your neck. "He'd send you back on the first flight to LA."
"I would believe that," he said softly. 
"I think yesterday went really well, Bradley," you confided quietly to him.
"You think? I was on my very best behaviour," he teased you.
"Yes, you were," you admitted. Not that he ever wasn't. Bradley was instilled with a remarkable set of manners. He was chivalrous and courteous to a fault, incredibly sweet and at times, pensive, even shy. Almost make believe that you were lucky enough to share his time. You wriggled back against him, and you could feel the hard-on straining through his boxer briefs. "Down, boy." 
"Can't help it," he sighed. "You know what you do to me with that ass. I know what you want. You're not that transparent."
You bit back your pleased smile as his wandering hands travelled down your side, fingertips toying with the hem of his old Navy tee that was now your bed shirt. At home, you were nude sleepers. At your parents' home during the holidays? You showed decorum and respect and you both hated it, preferring skin-on-skin of the other but alas, anyone could walk in at any time. 
“Have a thought about how we might be able to fuck this jetlag off…” 
“Oh, yeah?” at this point, you’d do anything and with Bradley’s travel for work, you hoped maybe he might have some insight. You had planned to just power through and try not to be the world’s most exhausted asshole. 
"You just move your thigh a little this way..." he murmured, his palm cupping your hamstring and you pressed back into him, grinning softly. “And I just slide up in here – ”
“Confident of you, don’t you think?”
“You’re always wet for me,” he whispered against your skin. “Unless you deny it.”
“Never…” you told him, reaching back to wrap an arm around his strong neck. “I just can't keep it down with you. Why didn’t you convince me to get the AirBnb?”
He loved how vocal you were during sex. Your moans, the hisses, the way you'd bite your lip when you were so close. That groan as you came, or the little squeal when you were too sensitive was burned into his brain as his favourite sounds in the world. 
"Just lemme hold you then, it's okay, sweetheart," he grumbled. “I’ll live if you can.” 
“Asshole,” you muttered as he chuckled. 
“Do you want a blowjob?” You nervously offered, turning back to him and he looped your thigh over his hip and perched you above him with such little effort on his behalf - you loved how strong he was but you knew what was waiting for you, Bradley made no secret he was turned on and you loved that you were able to have him on a knife-edge at all times. 
The one per cent, he’s told you once before. 
You’re so sweet to him as you slowly dragged your hand into the waistband of his boxer briefs, revealing more and more skin, cock springing free, slapping against his toned, tanned Adonis belt. Long, thick and dripping with precum already and he almost blushed at how eager he was.
“I’ll never say no,” he replied, “And I know you might be uncomfortable here. Your dad is right across the hall, baby."
“But my daddy is right here…” you immediately corrected him, and he smiled darkly to himself. You didn't use that term lightly, you couldn’t nfi fed to him he had the ability to bring out your innermost feral when you least expected it and he would do his utmost to encourage it (if you were comfortable). 
“Jesus,” his head was swirling, trying to keep calm and not blow his load the second you bared your tongue to him but there was absolutely nothing sweet about it. He was a preening mess when you went down on him. The night you'd told him you weren't overly experienced in blow jobs was the greatest night of his life, coaching you through what he liked and watching you perfect your generous technique time and time again. 
These days, you loved giving Bradley head. He gave you confidence, he made you feel sexy and not like it was only about him on the receiving end. He’s whispered and encouraged, and when it all got too much, he told you he was close. He was neither here nor there on the whole spit or swallow thing… until you and your preference but he was never left empty-handed.
"Shh," you hissed. "Not a sound." 
That one thing you did for him that absolutely made him come undone. And he'd bury his face in your pussy all day if you allowed him to show you how fucking grateful, he was for all the pleasure you presented him. Your sweet, tight wetness that he would eagerly drown himself in if you’d let him. 
Your honeyed tongue delicately tasted the flawless head of his cock, lapping up the precum as Bradley's eyes rolled back into his head and his big hands reached to knot into your hair as you went to work, swirling your tongue and looking up with your big, scheming eyes, knowing you had him at his most precarious. 
He was a weapon in his training, his mind and body were always primed to do what was asked of him, but you were the exception and it scared and excited him.
He could feel himself getting so close to painting the back of that beautiful mouth, and while it pained him to say it, the way your eyes softened told him he’d made the right choice. “Come on, baby, I want you.” 
You gently pulled away and asked, “You don’t want me to finish?”
“No, I wanna fuck, baby. Watch you lose control.” 
“Okay,” you said, your soft hand trading with your warm mouth to tenderly pump and tease him. 
“Gimme a sec. I don't have condoms close,” he whispered. “They're in my luggage.”
"Just pull out, sweetheart," you enticed him, wanting to feel all of him. It was so infrequent you fucked without protection, and of course, you both preferred it that way but after a pregnancy scare (or not, neither of you was really sure) a few months back, you'd both decided to stop tempting fate and ensuring there was a stash of condoms at his place, your place... the goddamn Bronco – Bradley understood that it was your body and you didn’t want to be on the pill. A condom was the least he could do, and he knew it. 
Bradley helped you move up his body and rest you above him. "Are you sure?" he kissed you, your gleaming teeth lightly stinging into his bottom lip with an affectionate nip. 
“I trust you,” you told him. "Cum where you need...”
Truth be told, he wanted to cum deep, but he licked back a wet smile and he moved to his knees to pull his navy tee over your head, bearing your beautiful breasts to him, full, round, nipples begging for attention. “On your back, baby,” he urged, guiding you under him, anticipating how wet you were for him, legs splaying open unashamed. He rested the head of his cock on your weeping cunt, his fingers spreading your bare lips and sweeping your slick across your clit, fascinated by that little peep of desperation from you. Your head fell back against the pillows, bliss sweeping through you as he sweetly pressed one finger into you. “Drippin’,” he reported, pressing in another finger and his thumb rubbing tenderly against your throbbing clit. “Gonna gush for me?” 
You probably would, Bradley’s ability to drag absolutely everything out of you blew your mind each time. “Need your cock. Fill me up, Bradley.” 
Pushing in, one delicious inch by delicious inch, licking his full lips as your back curved to take him as deeply as possible. He buried his face in your breasts, holding one in his calloused palm, eyes fluttering closed as he traced, left wet, open-mouthed kissed and tenderly bit the other, and the groan you let you made him clamp his palm over your mouth. “You’re so wet, baby,” he stared deeply into your eyes as he evened his breath with the first few rolls of his slender hips. "But you're gonna wake your parents if you don’t control yourself."
"Let them fuckin' hear," you muttered behind your hand (you’d die if they heard you though) as he chuckled and began his ruthless assault on your senses, one thrust at a time. 
"You're too good to me," Bradley reminded you in disbelief.  
"All for you," you confided, as you watched the beads of sweat break across his brow as you dug your nails into his well-worked traps, willingly knowing it would leave a mark courtesy of your fresh manicure. You raised your hips to meet his deep, plunging thrusts, fucking into you strong and deep. He felt incredible, you don't think anyone had loved on you as Bradley Bradshaw could. So thorough, and never one to leave you hanging. 
Too long, too sore? He'd pause and tenderly withdraw to hold you, reassuring you that it was fine, and your comfort was paramount. Too sensitive after coming too hard, he'd give you time to recover, finding other ways to bring you pleasure.
It was nice to be considered in your relationship, in your sex life especially. In the past, you'd been made to feel like a machine, if you didn't cum, partners still could, and you'd just deal with it. For a long time, that stuck with you and having someone consider you like Bradley would almost seem too good to be true at the start. 
But that consideration never lapsed. He was make-believe and you fucking hoped if this man and everything he brought to you was a dream that you’d never, ever wake up. 
Desperate to keep himself controlled, Bradley reached for the headboard of your old bed, gripping it for dear life as he tried so damn hard to avoid coming. He loved fucking you raw, and since birth control was completely your choice, you two had to stop playing this dangerous game. Because one day? It would beat you both.
"I need to cum, Bradley," you whined to him as he nodded, chewing his lower lip, and putting your delicate fingers in your mouth, not losing his rhythm. He knew. He knew how close you were. 
"Lemme see you touch yourself, baby. Get those fingers - " he gasped as you clenched around him. "Get 'em nice and wet and play with that sweet, tight pussy. Lemme see you fall apart.”
Before, language like that would embarrass you, but with Bradley, it only spurred you on. It was incredible the ways he’d helped you grow and mature as a friend, partner and lover. As instructed, and in the low early morning light, Bradley’s breath hitched, watching you touch yourself and you couldn’t help it, the beat of his cock against your g-spot, your fingers pressing rough circles into your clit and you started to come. 
“Yes, baby. Yes,” he urged, moving his mouth to your ear, whispering his sweet encouragement. “You feel so good, just a little mo – ” he forced his mouth against yours, kissing your pleasure to him, to keep the noise down. He wrapped his hand under your hip, lifting your waist to push harder into you as you trembled below him, your pussy clutching his cock, spasming as he shuddered against your lips. “Yes, baby.”
“Jesus, Bradley, fuck me,” you begged as his hips speed up like a piston, thrusting hard into your swollen, sensitive pussy, his hand clutching yours away from your strained clit and pressing intensely in your place, hoping to drag your orgasm out and as you fell, lifeless, back against the squishy pillows, pussy pulsating, Bradley grunted low he was coming and after his final few thrusts, he quickly withdrew and unloaded, stroking himself until he was spent, pearly ribbons of cum decorating your belly and breasts. 
He collapsed beside you, taking your cheeks in his face and kissing you wildly. “I love you. I love you, baby,” he kissed you again, and though you were spent, you returned his affections, because truly… you loved Bradley Bradshaw with your entire being. It was going to take a lot to change that. “Are you okay?” he asked, chest still heaving as he breathed, his pointer finger tracing through the mess he made on you.
“I’m good, sweetheart,” you assured him as he gave you one last, final kiss.
“Think that helped with your jetlag?” he teased.
“Makes me want another round,” you admitted as he chuckled and raised an eyebrow. 
“Of course you do,” he pressed a kiss into your pulse and lifted his lips back to yours, holding you close and just like horny teenagers, enjoying making out for a few moments in the afterglow. “Where’s that shirt gone?” he asked, peering over the side of the bed, and cleaning you up. “Jackson Pollack painting here.”
“Be less proud,” you told him as he snorted.
“Yes, ma’am,” he pressed another kiss to your lips. “Sure you’re okay?”
“Perfect, but let me go pee,” you whispered as Bradley kissed you long and deep, he nodded into the kiss but was not quite ready to leave you leave him. 
“Go, clean up, baby,” he helped you up from the bed, your legs precarious and meandering like Bambi. “Careful,” he sighed, wistfully. But he knew it already, you were thoroughly fucked, just how he liked it. 
A few hours later and thankfully, a few more hours of sleep, your alarm woke you, the sun much higher in the sky and the heat of the day starting to rise. You’d showered and told him to come down when he was ready, you’d help your Mum with some brekky.
“You want eggs?”
“Anything,” Bradley admitted. “Famished.”
“Okay, sweetheart,” you cupped his face in your palms and kissed him lightly. “Don’t rush.”
“Okay,” he gave a small grin but didn’t much feel like lingering. After a quick shower, he dressed, annoyed he didn't pack any golf gear, at minimum the shoes that you gave him grief for every time he wore them, but maybe he'd treat himself and buy some at the course today. He rifled through his bag, clutching the velvet box in his palm tightly, convinced more than ever that this was real, this was happening and soon, he'd hope to have you wearing his mother's engagement ring too. 
Slapping on his CVN-71 cap, he knew you went a bit feral when he perched it backward. May as well leave you with good thoughts while he was out and about, asking your old man for your hand on the golf course. And if it went badly, it was also something to identify him when the authorities found him if your dad said no. 
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panxramic · 6 months
Text
Missa cubito ohmygod today’s stream was SOOO.
Firstly, I haven’t talked about this but the fact that q!Missa has finally accepted the family home as his home too makes me want to snob. The fact that he calls it HIS home too, after spending so long distancing himself and saying that he doesn’t deserve to live with them? It makes my heart spin. And yes he still has his movements of self doubt but he knows now that this is his home and this is where he will always return to no matter what.
And I adore the little things that Missa notices. Last stream he got so giddy over the barrel in the house with his name on it and got so happy that he was included with the rest of the family even if he didn’t have anything in it. And then once again today gasping and getting happy at seeing the barrel again as if it was the first time all over. Missa loves being loved and he adores the little things the family does to show it. And how does he return the favor? With drawings he can leave behind dedicated to each one of them. Because he loves his family and he will find a way to physically show it even if he can’t be awake when they are.
And ohhh today with the cakes. He struggled so much and he lost so much energy trying to make the birthday cake for Tallulah but he would not give up until he got it done for both of them because his kids deserve it. And can I also point out I don’t think he realized it was also Chayanne’s birthday but he still made him a cake because he wanted to give something to his son and not make him feel left out. And when he was making the drawing for Tallulah he would not stop and he would not let ANYTHING distract him because his daughter deserves the world and she deserves the perfect painting.
Then come the raccoons. He goes and helps them clean because maybe he can earn money for the family and help out more around the house -> something Missa has always struggled with. He always wants to provide for the family the way they have him so he goes along with these raccoons. Then it all goes to shit when Bad logs on and he finds out it was his home they were cleaning. He finds the dead bodies and he gets scared because… who is this man he’s been calling his friend? Why does he have a grave of bodies underneath his home?
Missa runs. He tries to run away from q!Bad but he always finds him. And then it gets revealed that Missa was working with the raccoons and Bad backs away from Missa because how could he betray him. And Missa does try to explain it, he doesn’t know what is going on. He’s lost and confused and no one is answering his questions. q!Bad threatens and leaves q!Missa with the racoons just for the racoons to stab Missa in the back and rob him too.
This is when he asks himself, who can he trust? q!Bad isn’t who he thought he was, and the racoons betrayed him. He has considered q!Bad a friend for a long time because he’s always on when Missa is on and is always there to help (though if you ask me I would argue the opposite). He tried finding a way to justify Bad’s behavior, even the stuff chat brings up until he can’t. So, he goes back home and prepares a letter to Phil.
Because he realizes after everything in his life, after continuously trusting and relying on the wrong people, he concludes he can only trust q!Phil.
Missa never really leaves letters. His thing has always been paintings and small gifts. But for the first time (in what might be a long time) he leaves Phil a letter. Now that he’s accepted this is his home, he sees it’s also a place people can use to hurt him, in this case q!Bad.
Notice how when q!Bad came back and said he was gonna prank q!Phil and left, q!Missa immediately ran in to check on the kids? His priority and his fear will always be losing his family. He has spent so much of his life pushing himself a way from them, he doesn’t want to lose them when they’re so so close.
But as always… Missa runs. He runs away and sleeps somewhere else for tonight.
In his defense, I will say that this time it’s different. He’s running to protect his family. Is it the best option? I don’t think so. Missa always has struggled with feeling like he isn’t enough. And in this case, his families lives could be in danger so he runs away, because it’s his fault and he isn’t enough to protect them.
I will say. Things have changed. Because this time around he warned Phil. These two have had SOOO many instances of miscommunication and not talking to one another and we finally have a moment in which Phil is hearing directly from Missa. Not some other character, not his kids, Missa.
And the last thing Missa said when he went to bed. He wasn’t sleeping on a bed, because the only bed he will ever sleep on is the one in his home. LIKE FUCK. Yes he ran, yes he left to protect his family. But that’s his home. That’s where he will ALWAYS return to for comfort and safety. It isn’t a forever. It’s just for now.
For the first time, Missa is certain he will always have a home to return to.
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criminalamnesia · 8 months
Note
If it's not too much would you consider a roommates! Gaz and Soap where you need temporary housing and they offer to put you up for a couple of months in return for some housekeeping and cooking? But then it's awkward sharing a space with three people and two bedrooms so you end up a free use maid ✨
so I’ve been thinking about this,,, and I’m actually changing your idea a little bit (I hope that’s okay!)
also I got completely carried away with this and I miiight already be thinking about a part two where things get a little spicier, like you asked! 👀 keep a look out :))
(also I will 100% write for roommate!johnny&gaz eventually but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head!)
you’re soap’s sister, and when you tell him you need a place to stay, he doesn’t hesitate.
it didn’t click in his mind how your moving in may pose a problem until he’s helping you pack your stuff into a van.
one— he lives with gaz, and he may have forgotten to tell his roommate that they’re adding a third to their already small apartment.
two— there’s only two bedrooms.
gaz was currently on a special assignment, so these two things weren’t a huge problem at the moment. johnny shoots his teammate a text, informing him of the predicament and apologizing for just now telling him.
gaz responds, obviously a little peeved, and johnny’s suddenly absorbed in his phone, trying to soothe ruffled feathers and make this work.
you’re huffing as you keep shoving boxes into the van, your muscly brother now too preoccupied to continue helping.
“little help here, johnny?” you call from the trunk, and johnny startles from his spot leaning against the side of the truck.
by the time he clicks his phone off and resumes helping you, him and gaz have settled things.
you’d have johnny’s bedroom. johnny could sleep in gaz’s room until gaz got back home. and the rest would be worked out at a later date.
————————————————
you’ve never met gaz before. sure, johnny has told you all about his teammates and his roommate in particular, but you’ve never actually met the man until now.
he makes you screech in terror, holding the broom you’d been using to sweep the kitchen up like a sword. he chuckles.
“how’d you get in here?” your eyes are wide, taking in the man in front of you, and then it clicks. you remember the pictures johnny had shown you.
this was gaz.
and fuck, he was hot.
“I live here, love.” he says, his tone obviously amused as he looks you up and down. “gonna put that down? or will I be sporting some broom-shaped bruises for the next week?”
“oh, sorry—” you scramble to put the broom down, leaning it against one of the kitchen counters. “I didn’t hear you come in, and johnny didn’t tell me you’d be home today.”
“he didn’t know,” gaz shrugged, walking further into the kitchen now that your weapon of choice had been set aside. “where is he, by the way? we’ve got a lot of talking to do. gotta figure out this room situation.”
you pick at your cuticles anxiously as you shuffle out of the way, allowing gaz to open the fridge. he grabs a bottle of water and twists the lid off, and you’re mesmerized.
wait, what?
you mentally shake yourself from your stupor.
“um, he’s at the gym i think. he should be home soon.”
gaz nods, taking a swig from his water. his eyes settle on you once more as he shuts the fridge door.
“but about the bedrooms,” you start, taking a step towards him. “johnny can have his back. im fine with the couch, and—”
“oh, absolutely not, love. I’d sooner take the couch than make you sleep on it.”
“no no,” you say, shaking your head. “I’ve already caused enough problems by moving in. please let me—”
he cuts you off again with a dazzling smile. “it’s settled, love. you’re not sleeping on the couch. and your moving in isn’t a problem, trust me.”
damn, he’s smooth. you feel your cheeks getting hot, and you have to force yourself to look away from him before you melt.
“okay, well, if you won’t let me take the couch, at least let me do the chores and stuff, yeah? it’s not like I have much else to do,” you tell him with a dry chuckle. the whole reason you’d resorted to moving in with johnny was because you were between jobs right now.
you quite literally had all the time in the world to help around the apartment.
kyle almost looks like he’s going to protest again, but he doesn’t. he must see how much you want to do this, how badly you feel for ‘interrupting’ (you’re absolutely not, and although he’d been miffed about johnny not asking him about you moving in at first, he couldn’t care less now. you were stunning).
at his silence, you give a firm nod. “alright then,” you grin, and he matches your expression. “nice to finally meet you, gaz.”
“kyle,” he says, and your smile widens the tiniest bit.
“kyle.” you say, as if testing the word out on your tongue.
“sis, y’home? I was thinking chinese for dinner!” johnny calls out as the door to the apartment opens. he steps inside, toeing off his shoes before rounding the corner to the kitchen.
“you shite!” johnny laughs out as he spots gaz in the kitchen. they both chuckle, embracing each other in short hug, slapping each other on the back.
“y’broken?” you hear johnny ask, and gaz shakes his head.
“nah, all good.”
johnny nods, patting gaz on the shoulder before his eyes shift to you.
“see y’ve met my sis,” he says, moving towards you and ruffling your hair. you groan, slapping at his hand. gaz laughs. “hope she hasn’ given ya trouble.”
“I just came in,” gaz says, eyes meeting yours for a brief moment.
“so she hasn’ had the chance yet, then,” johnny jokes, and you roll your eyes. “chinese alrigh’ gaz?”
the other man nods, and the two soldiers fall into familiar conversation. you feel as though you’re intruding, and you attempt to slip out of the kitchen unnoticed, but gaz stops you by mentioning your name.
“I was just telling your sister that she’s not sleeping on the couch,” he tells johnny, and then his eyes slide to you. you look sheepish, like a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar.
“oh, o’course not,” johnny agrees. “I can take the couch, she’s my sister.”
“we could switch, yeah?” kyle looks at johnny. “that couch isn’t that comfortable, mate. I don’t wanna be hearin’ you complain about your back in a few days.”
johnny laughs, but nods. “sounds good. looks like you’re livin’ the life then, aye?” he says to you, and you open your mouth to speak, but kyle beats you to it.
“actually, we were just talking about all that. your lovely sister here was saying she’d like to keep the flat clean.”
“s’that so?” johnny questions, eyebrows raised as he looks at you. “y’don’t have to do that.”
“I want to, johnny. it’s the least I can do after barging in on your lives.”
you can tell by the look on your brother’s face that he’s going to argue, so you swiftly cut him off.
“no arguments! it’ll give me something to do anyways.”
johnny concedes, then excuses himself to shower. you tell him you’ll order the food as he leaves the kitchen.
you and kyle are alone again, and his eyes are trained on you. you clear your throat before fishing your phone out of your pocket.
“what’s your order?” you ask him.
kyle grins. he knows what he’s doing to you.
god, this was going to be an interesting stay.
—————————————————
author’s note:
this is my first time really writing both johnny and Kyle, so I apologize if they seem ooc!
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sameschmidtdiffname · 6 months
Note
Hey I love your work so much!!
I was thinking of maybe a Mike Schmidt x reader where the reader is all like “I’m not good enough for you, I don’t deserve you” stuff and then like Mike makes it up to the reader to show them that they are more than enough 🫶
Sure, but it's gonna hurt!
Blue Sunrise
Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader
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Summery: All is well, yet you aren't. A fact that disturbs and irritates you so, even if it shouldn't.
Tags: No use of Y/N, no use of gendered pronouns for Reader, SFW with brief mentions of smut, pre-established relationship, set during the movie but that's honestly not very relevant, hurt/comfort, Reader and Mike both have PTSD, this isn't projection, bed rotting, depression, self-loathing, night terrors/nightmares, panic attacks, sleep deprivation, mentions of medication, lack of self care, slight self-harm (scratching), breakdown, nosebleed.
Notes: *in sonic snapcube dub voice* heyyyyyyyyyyyy what's upppppppppppppp it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (STOP!!)
                     ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎
6:34 A.M.
The dawn is gentle, the sky a soft blue behind the thin, cheap blinds that cover the bedroom window not that far in front of me. If I wanted, I could get up and open the window, revealing the surely beautiful and gorgeous sunrise that waits for me just outside the blinds.
But I don't. And I won't.
Birds sing gently outside, waking up and fliting about here and there. It's my favorite part of the day, quite frankly. When I can, I open the window to allow in the fresh, cool air, moist with the morning dew, unmuffling the bird's songs as I drift off to sleep, my schedule mostly in tune with Mike's for his night shift. Sometimes I manage to stay awake to greet him when he returns home. It's always nice when I do. His smile is lazy, his strides long and slow as he makes his way to the bed, peeling off his work clothes and crawling under the covers with me. Sometimes he'll press himself against me, his lips finding my neck as his hand dives between my thighs, his fingers trained on one goal as he murmurs against my skin how much he's missed me. Sometimes I wake to this.
There's a part of me that wishes he'd do this today just so I wouldn't have to think.
The lock on the front door rattles as someone attempts to insert a key into the hole. It doesn't matter how long he's lived here or how he uses those keys every morning, he still takes a moment to make sure he's using the right one, and on the first try he usually isn't. So it takes him a solid minute to unlock the door and enter the house. If we had dogs, they'd surely drive us insane from his routine. It slightly drives me insane already. But I'm technically not even supposed to be awake, so I never mention it.
When Mike finally enters the house, the first thing I hear after the satisfying break of the doors seal ringing throughout the living room is a deep sigh as Mike's backpack lands in front of the coat rack. He should be quieter about setting it down. I would be. But I think he assumes we should be so deep in sleep it really wouldn't matter, and it honestly doesn't make much noise. Just a slightly dull 'thud' against the thinly carpeted floor.
Next I can hear his car keys land in the bowl they're meant for. Again, he's a bit too loud with it all. At least, while people are sleeping. But it's not really a bother. In a way, I like it. It gives me a routine to memorize, his sounds before he'll trail to our room and come press himself against me.
The rocking recliner creeks softly as he sits in it, lazily undoing the laces on his boots before he tosses them towards the coat rack. And next he'll duck his head into the fridge I'm sure and look for the leftovers I put into a big bowl for him to warm up - which he won't, because he's a psychopath who likes cold food. - and then when my alarm goes off, he'll come to wake me up, rising from the old couch where he's very quietly reading his book while he eats and do whatever he has to do to prevent me from slipping back into sleep. He's very good at that job. Especially when he uses his tongue.
But today there's a break in the routine. Today, his footsteps are padding towards our room, the door quietly opening as he slips in. I can hear him let out a soft sigh as he tugs on his hoodie, pulling it off and then discarding of his jeans, which muffle the clack of his belt buckle as he slips them off. Left in his undershirt and boxers, he crosses the room to open the blinds and the window, letting in the fresh air and leaning against the thin windowstill for a moment. Now, I can see him.
He looks rested, a little more than he should for having just finished a night shift. I keep telling him he's going to get fired, but he always wiggles his way out of that conversation. The bags usually under his eyes aren't too deep this morning, which while problematic is relieving. His skin is pale blue from the dawns light that pours into the room. His dark curls are more thick on the top of his head, clumped together from him not brushing them after his shower. He must've used too much conditioner, because his hair also looks thicker than it usually does. The breeze blows his oversized pale blue shirt against his chest as he leans forward, allowing his eyes to close as he takes in a deep breath. It feels like an overly private moment. Like I've intruded by watching him. I don't see him like this much when he isn't alone. When he's with me or Abby, he's alert. Somewhat on guard. It's like he's watching us to make sure we're okay. He's too used to things falling apart in an instant. But when he's alone, physically or emotionally, the walls crumble away to reveal a man who enjoys peace. Who smiles softly as he bends down low, resting his chin upon his arms, letting the dawn greet him and being the supposed first in the house to greet the dawn. And I feel like a stalker for watching him. A scene that feels as if I've stolen what will now only exist deep in my mind for when I want to remember one of the few times he has truly ever looked at peace with the world. It's a scene out of a painting. As private as a prayer. I should grant him more privacy, but I don't. In a captivated and enchanted way, I can't.
I'd never tell him this, but in this moment he looks like his mother. And not in the sense of him being her son. No, based off of the few photos I've seen of her in more private, intimate instances, like when she was holding a very small Mike on her lap on his second birthday, or when Mike's father had stolen a photo during their honeymoon when she wasn't looking, Mike looks just like her. Quiet, serene, not hiding anything from anyone because there's no need. At this moment it is just him and the gentle, late winter breeze that makes my nose begin to sting. He's beautiful. Just like she was.
The moment comes to an end, and now it is just a moment that exists only within my mind as his eyes open. The blue dawn brings out the green in his eyes that's usually hidden by artificial light that overpowers the amber, turning them mostly black in some instances. That's the color I thought they were until I saw him in proper daylight. His long lashes bat once, twice in an almost sleepy manner as he shifts his focus, now turning his head to look at me. I shut my eyes quickly, my canines biting into my tongue to force myself to keep a straight face. But it's too late. We made eye contact, even if it was only for a second, and now he knows I'm awake.
"Sweetheart?" He whispers softly, his voice low and slightly gravelly in the way it always is. His 's' and 't's just a tad sharp, clear as always when he speaks. I hear the floor groan as he pads towards me.
I don't speak. I'm not supposed to be awake. I should be asleep, he would rather I was asleep. I tried to be asleep.
He stops in front of me, I can hear the floor groan louder as he crouches in front of me. He's trying to decide if I'm awake or not, if maybe he'd been tricked into thinking we made eye contact. But something convinces him he hasn't, and the bed sinks as he places a hand upon the mattress to support his weight while he kisses my temple.
"Hi," he whispers against my skin, placing another kiss just above the curve of my brow. "Good morning." He places another kiss on the space between my brows, his lips now trailing up to the middle of my forehead. "You look so pretty like this."
Like what? My skin shining with oil, my nose dirty, my body heavy from not having moved?
Something makes him pause when his lips find my cheek. He keeps his lips pressed against my skin for a moment before he pulls away, licking his lips as he looks closer at me.
"Hey," he whispers softly, a finger finding my chin. "Open your eyes."
I don't want to. When I do he'll instantly know what I've been doing, and I don't want to handle it. I don't want to deal with it.
His hand slips under my head, between my cheek and my pillow.
"Sweetheart, your pillow's wet," he says in quiet surprise. "Open your eyes, talk to me."
Hesitatingly, I obey. Cracking my eyes open and trying not to reveal how horrid the dryness in them feels after allowing them rest for a few moments after keeping them open for what could have been hours at this point. Mike's face is inches from mine, his brows furrowed in concern as his eyes scan for other obvious signs of distress.
"Hi," I croak in a tired, unused voice as I try to pretend all is well. Mike unfortunately knows better.
"What happened?" He asks concerningly, taking in the tone he does whenever Abby is upset, fretting over me like I'm an injured child as both of his hands cup my face, his lips finding what he's confirmed are thin, itchy and salty tear tracks, placing several, feather-light kisses along them.
"Nothing," I answer honestly, my voice still cracking. "I'm fine."
"Your eyes are red, baby," he says softly, pulling away to look at me again while his body inches closer. "You look like you've been crying for hours."
Ha. I wish. If I had been, maybe I'd feel better about everything. But instead, I've been lying here since Abby went to bed, feeling numb and dead internally as I willed myself to be upset about anything. Work, bills, the color of the walls. I'd succeeded maybe twice, little tears streaming down my face for a minute or two. But then they would stop, and it would feel as though I couldn't cry. Really cry. Like there was some emotional, maybe physical block preventing me from just truly letting all of my emotions out in a possibly hysterical fit. One that would mean I could connect to my humanity. I don't know what's wrong with me. So, instead I just say "I haven't cried."
Mike opens his mouth to call bullshit, but his brow furrows tighter as he thinks. "What's wrong?" He asks again, now lifting my head to allow one arm to slip underneath so I can lay upon it.
"Nothing," I answer again, truly unsure of what to say. "I'm really okay."
And I am. Work is fine, I am fine. Friends are fine. I don't have entitlement to be upset.
"Is it another episode?" Mike asks softly, now pulling his body onto the bed to lie next to me, fully committed to being partner of the year over here. Ugh. Great.
"No," I answer quickly, averting my gaze. Mike's hand cups my cheek, his body cool compared to mine. I'm soaked in sweat from sleeping - read: laying motionless on the bed since 9:30. - in too warm of clothes in too warm of a room under too warm of blankets. I probably stink. Meanwhile the morning air makes Mike feel refreshing. He's perfect. I'm a mess.
"It's okay if it is," Mike says softly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of if-"
"I'm not having an episode," I say firmly, cutting him off as though it will solidify my statement more than his if I finish mine first. "I'm just not."
I don't pretend to be perfect. I'm not, and I never will be. I know that's okay. I know episodes happen, and that I'll be okay. I've been so much better lately on my new schedule. I'm working, I'm happy.
I have absolutely no good reason to be in the midst of a depression episode. One where the memories won't leave my mind, where I can't sleep, can't think about anything but the past. It plays in my head over and over again, and I can't stop it. Even though I try. I read, I journal, I bathe. But I don't feel real. People don't feel real. Mike is disorienting in the sense that he is the only thing that truly feels real. Where the pale color of the sheets seems hypnotic, his slightly tan skin contrasts to remind me this place really does exist. The furniture and details of the room seem as real as something from a video game, renderings that aren't as realistic as they could be that blend into the wall more as you look. Flat. Nothing. But the freckles on his nose are real. Strikingly real. Overly real. It's as though someone took their time to place each one, carefully deciding their color, their opacity, their placement. I want and love each one, but at this moment they slightly torture me by drawing me into a comforting trap.
"I haven't had an episode in over a month, I'm better," I attempt to say in a firm, solid voice. But I'm too tired, too worn out. My chest burns both from anxiety induced heartburn and how shallow my breathing has been for the past several hours. Mike looks sad, and I hate that. Deeply.
"You have been doing better," he says softly, like a reassuring parent. "I've seen that. And I'm so proud of you."
But I still have this. I'm still like this. I still can't have people wrap their arms around me from behind because I'm instantly taken back to when it would end in me collapsed on the ground, panting, crying, calling out for help that just wouldn't come. I still can't wear shirts with too tight of collars because it always end with me half naked, ripping the shirt off while hyperventilating. That was how I had to tell Mike. For our first Christmas together he bought me this beautiful turtleneck, knowing I liked the style but didn't own many. A dark evergreen color, affordable but a lovely tight-knit material, I adored the thing. But the moment the shirt was over my head, the neck felt like a hand suffocating me, and though I tried to tolerate it fie as long as I could, it only took one casual graze of his hand along my back to send me reeling into a corner, hyperventilating, sobbing, blubbering like a terrified child as I clawed at my neck while he tried to get it off of me.
'I'm so proud of you.' The statement feels like a backhanded reward. It feels as though I'm an idiotic child who just can't learn their ABC's or basic fundamental math. It feels like I'm a small toddler surrounded by adults looking at me full of pity in their eyes while they think 'well, you'll never be normal by any means. But maybe one day if you're lucky, you'll work in a Subway.' But they don't tell me this. They just praise me for existing. 'You woke up today! You put on clothes today! You didn't kill yourself!' It makes me want to scream. Yes, even at him. I want to grab him by his shirt and scream until my voice is shattered 'don't praise me for the bare minimum! I'm not a child!'
But I know he's not. I know he feels the same way when he slips back in progress as well. There was a solid month last year where Mike's insurance refused to pay for his sleep medication due to some paperwork slip and such, something they eventually realized was a complete blip on their end. But that month was hell for Mike, who could barely sleep well even with the medication. His easy smirks were replaced with cracked lips, skin raw from constant biting. His eyes were filled with paranoia from lack of sleep, and worse were the night terrors. Mike didn't even know he was still capable of having them, usually sedated by his meds well enough that if there was a nightmare, he just stayed asleep. At worst he'd wake up in a haze, maybe a very short yelp if anything. But without his meds, it was screaming. Constant screaming. There were nights he would wake after only an hour and he'd start, his voice shrill and reverberating off the walls as he thrashed in the bed. You couldn't console him, touch made him worse. When it happened, you simply had to leave the room and pray he would be okay. The episode could last anywhere from five minutes to an hour, and you would know it was over when all you could hear was broken sobbing, quiet and childlike in nature. Then I would return to the room, and there he'd be. Sometimes wrapped in blankets, sometimes his shirt torn off of himself. Usually sitting either in the dark corner of the room or on the floor of our closet. Red, angry marks would trail along his skin from clawing at himself with his uneven nails, some of them being actual cuts he'd managed in his terror. I'd carefully clean his cuts with cotton balls and hydrogen peroxide while he silently stared ahead, too ashamed to speak or make eye contact with me. And too terrified to sleep again.
Sleep deprivation didn't help, either. One day I saw him with a Redbull stuck in his hand, seemingly never empty despite how much he drank from it. At first I thought it was one, than I realized it was three, then I realized I didn't really know what number he was on. It was surprising how well he could take the new, unusual load of caffeine that tastes sickly sweet without so much as a twitch of an eyebrow. I didn't realize he was trying to starve off sleep until the next morning when his leg was bouncing a mile a minute and he was snapping at every little thing. That day he had a breakdown over dropping an unpeeled onion. And that's when it slipped out.
I didn't judge him. I was terrified for him, but I didn't judge him. And I could tell the same was true for him when I would have my slips, though mine looked different. Mine looked like a lack of self care and rotting in our bed, staring pointlessly ahead until he would lift me off the bed and carefully guide me to a warm bath, where he'd gently wash my skin with a soft rag like I was a newborn while I stared ahead at nothing. At this point we had learned to tell the oncoming signs of each others episodes, and how to starve them off. And if we couldn't, how to help each other through them.
Usually, I don't mind. But today, it hurts. It all hurts.
"Have you eaten?" Mike asks me gently, his thumb gliding over my cheekbone as he wraps me in his embrace, careful of where he places his hands on my person. Like I'm a bomb.
I don't want to be treated like this anymore.
"Yes," I sigh in an irritated voice, like it's the most inconvenient thing he should ask me such a question. But I haven't. I feel empty and yet too full at the same time, and guilt pounds behind my left eye with the ferocity of a headache that I can't just mother myself.
Mike doesn't believe me. He'll pretend he does, but the press of his lips betray him as he takes a deep breath in like he's trying to tell what wire to cut next.
"Would you like to have breakfast with me?" He asks softly, his thumb still stroking just below the raw corner of my eye. It burns. All of it.
'No,' I snap in my head. But I just tighten my jaw and press my own lips together.
"I'm not really hungry, but thank you," I say in a tight voice. Now he's going to pretend that's okay, and he'll go get his breakfast. Then he'll pretend he can't finish it all, joke lightly and say I gave him too big of a portion even though he eats like he's still a growing teenager, and offer me little bites as he "tries" to finish the rest, then eventually trick me into finishing it. He isn't slick, and I'm not a child.
"Hey," he says in a light whisper. "I was thinking maybe we could go out today? All three of us? Or I could call Max, see if she'll watch Abs for a little bit so we can get away?"
Distraction. Cute. I don't need it.
"That could be nice," I admit through half gritted teeth, not meeting his eyes. "Where to?"
"Anywhere," he says too quickly, obviously relieved to have a straw to grasp at. "Your choice."
Guilt twists in my chest like an alien creature settled in my lungs, burning as it begins to slither its way towards my throat to suffocate me on its wrath. He doesn't need to do this. Can't he see how well I'm doing?
"How was work?" He asks me in an attempt to keep me talking. Mike doesn't like silence, not like this. Not really any time. There's always noise throughout the house, whether it's a show on in the background or white noise from his cassette player. He can't stand silence. Especially from people.
"Work was..." Fine? The usual? Non-eventful?
"Good," I decide. Mike presses his lips together again. Stop doing that.
"Yeah?" He asks in a slightly tight voice.
"Yeah," I confirm in a tighter voice.
"You didn't... call out or anything?"
My bottom left back molar feels like it might snap from how tight my jaw is. "Why?" I ask, venom unintentionally creeping in.
"Just asking," he says quickly.
"Why?" I press harder, wanting to know who told on me. Abby hasn't even had the chance to speak with him.
'It's because he knows your patterns,' I think. 'He's trying to gage how serious this is.'
"Maybe we could go out for breakfast? We can wait until Abby wakes up, go get some Waffle Hous-"
"I'm not having an episode," I snap quickly, more harsh than I intended. My tone makes him flinch slightly, his eyes shutting for a moment as he takes another breath in. Now I'm scared he'll pull away.
"We... don't have to talk about this right now," he says softly, opening his eyes again and wrapping his arm around me tighter. "Let's just focus on breakfast."
The guilt pounds in my kidneys, which are sore since I haven't left the bed since I laid down after putting Abby to sleep, but I did have a full water bottle around 3:00 in the morning. It's not Mike's fault I backtracked. He's just trying to be nice. I'm the asshole here.
"I'm sorry," I say in a small voice, dropping my gaze and biting my tongue between my canines again to stop the tears that are now willing to come freely to burn my eyes during such an inappropriate moment.
"It's okay," Mike says softly, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Don't even think about it."
'Don't even think about the fact he's just trying to be a decent person and you can't even say 'thank you,'' a grating voice in my head chides me. 'What, you're too good for a free meal?'
"I'm sorry," I repeat softer, my nails digging into my wrist that I'm holding to keep control over myself. Mike's hand is searching for mine, ready to pry it away to prevent me from doing what I need to to prevent the waterworks.
"Hey." Stop with the 'hey's. "I said it's alright, you're okay."
It's all bad. Everything's bad, and it's not going to get better. I keep thinking I'll get better, I keep thinking I'll be okay. But every two steps forward is one step back and I can't keep doing this redundant bullshit for the rest of my life. Am I going to be 40 at the office Christmas party sneaking off to freak out in the bathroom because something triggered me and I just can't get a grip on things? Am I even going to make it to 40?
Mike is comforting me, cradling my head to his chest and rocking me back and forth. And his shirt is wet. I don't like that his shirt is wet, it should be dry. Why is it fucking wet?
"It's okay," he's whispering in my hair while horrid choking sounds come from somewhere around us. Maybe the other room? "You're alright, it's okay."
I'm aware it's alright, I'm aware it's okay. Why are you wet? Why does my head hurt?
"I can't- sleep," my voice chokes out between guttural sobs, my face pressed into his chest. "It's all nightmares."
Oh. Shit. That's me. The wetness, I did that. My bad.
"I know, it's okay. How long?" Mike asks softly. What, are you gonna call my therapist?
"A week," I moan into his chest. My ribs expand with each recycled breath I steal from against his chest, and I can feel him trying to gently tug me away so I can get one with fresh, cold air instead. I don't let him. My lungs burn more. "They just won't stop."
"It's okay, it's only temporary," he says softly, his hand pushing away some of the blanket to relieve me of the boiling warmth underneath. The cold air is refreshing against my skin, even through my clothes are soaked with stinking sweat.
"No, it's not!" I cry hysterically into his chest. "They don't go away. None of it goes away. I want it to go away!"
He's nodding, rubbing circles on my back as I grip his shirt hard enough it may stretch.
"It'll get better. It did for awhile," he reminds me.
"But I'm back here. I always end up back here. I was doing so good!" I sob, feeling the wetness on his shirt begin to slightly thicken, probably due to snot. I try to sniff it back into my sinuses, but I think that just draws his attention to the new fluid he's covered in.
"That's okay. You'll do even better next time. And if you don't, that's okay too." Don't say what I think you're going to say. Do not. Michael, I'm serious, don't- "I'm still proud of you."
Fuck. Ooooooff!
This is the real release of my emotions. Now I'm gasping, choking, sobbing, making horrible sounds that sound like a European ambulance siren wailing through the streets to announce someone's dying on the way to the hospital. My head throbs with the pain from the heavy crying, and I may give myself a nosebleed from the passion of it all. And Mike, his patience thick and durable, just holds me through it all. Letting me soak his shirt, dirty his skin, grab at him blindly while I wail like a spoiled child, just repeating the phrase over again. 'Proud.' What pride. What honor to be had at such a breakdown. Yes, very understandable.
"I should be better," I sob into his chest. "You deserve better."
"What?" He laughs lightly, and at first it feels mocking, but then he's pulling my head away fron my soaked enclosure and his eyes are so gentle for a moment I know the light laughter is simply from surprise. Then his eyes widen and he's back in parent mode.
"Don't leave me. Don't leave me!" I choke out while gripping his shirt. At first he thinks I'm talking about our relationship, then he realizes I'm not letting him pull away.
"Sweetheart, you're bleeding," he gently explains. "Let me wipe your face. I just need tissues. I'm not even leaving the bed."
But that's too much. Let me bleed, let my head throb, let this headache take the vision away in my eye from how bad it hurts. Let anything happen so long as I can stay in this moment. Don't break the spell. Don't let me go numb again.
"Don't leave me," I cry pathetically, my eyes all scrunched together in the same manner as wailing infants, my grip on his shirt not breaking. Sure enough, there on the wet spot of his shirt is a dark stain of blood that should hopefully come out if we wash it fast enough.
"Let me do that," I'm saying as I try to peel off his shirt now. "Let me wash it."
He's gently guiding my hands away. "Don't worry about it," he says gently, kissing my hands and wrists like they might break even from the delicate graze of his lips. "Let me take care of you."
He does this all the time. He always takes care of me. I should do more. Be more. For him.
"You deserve better," I choke out, feeling like I may suffocate from the tears. Mike's brows furrow in concern, and he grips my chin very carefully as he makes me meet his eyes.
"Hey, no. Get that out of your head, it's all okay," he tells me softly, staring at me like if he can't verbally convince me, his hard stare will do the trick. "I don't want to hear you talk like that."
"I should be better," I repeat, my crying lessening slightly as I try to hold eye contact.
"You're getting better," he reminds me. "This is the happiest I've seen you since we met. You'll get back to that. Hell, you could feel the same way tonight. It's okay. Take a day off. We all need one, even normal people," he says softly, stroking my hair as he kisses my forehead. "Can you just let me take care of you in the meantime?"
No. Go away, let me rot.
"We can still go out for breakfast," he offers gently. "I can still call Max, or we can all stay in. I'll set up a nest in the living room so you can watch TV. Works you like that?"
Stop. Stop being nice to me, stop trying to make me feel better. It all just feels awful. I don't want this guilt, someone takes it away.
Mike must sense my overwhelmed emotions, because he places another kiss on my forehead before asking if he can clean my face again, and this time I say yes. He pulls away, which is still upsetting but less so. I don't make a deal out of it this time at least. He opens a drawer, searching for wipes and pulling them out before turning back to me.
"Do you want to sit up?" He asks gently. I bite my tongue to prevent another mocking thought directed towards me and nod. Bones crack as I do, my kidneys hurt worse. But at least I finally moved.
Tears still streak down my face as Mike wipes away the snot and blood, his large hand gently cupping my face as he does. There's a soft smile on his face, though I'm not particularly sure why. And when he's done, he runs his thumb along my bottom lip before placing his own lips on top of mine. They're chapped, one spot raw from excessive biting. But there's still some leftover chapstick on them, and it tastes like grapefruit.
I tug on his shirt, one hand sneaking under it to feel his cool skin underneath. He gently takes my wrist once more, then pulls away. A silent rejection. He knows that I'm just looking for a distraction from my emotions, and in a moment he'll offer a much healthier one. He does discard the shirt, leaving his chest bare, but only so that he doesn't smear my fluids back onto me as he pulls me in for another embrace.
"We'll be okay," he promises. "Everything will be okay."
"What if it's not?" I ask in a quiet, strained voice.
"Then it'll be okay later. You can take time to not be okay," he says.
There's a short silence before either of us speak. And when I hear his voice hitch in the way it does when he's about to say something, Abby's alarm rings crystal clear in her room. Then the sound of a truck rattles by on the road in front of the house. Birds continue to sing. And my pours feel so clogged I'm sure my skin will be lashing out for days.
But it'll all be okay.
                             ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤
"Can we have some fluff to reco-" no. Suffer.
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lincolndjarin · 7 months
Text
Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5
chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here
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series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist
a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do
pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader
rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings
word count : 6.4k
summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia
warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.
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“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 
“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 
“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 
“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 
Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 
“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 
“Just bring it with you.” 
“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need.��
“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 
You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”
“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.
“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 
You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 
What’s stopping you? 
You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 
Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 
But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 
On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 
Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 
Kill him. 
You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 
“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.
“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 
You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.
The bed is empty when you wake up. 
You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 
Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 
“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 
Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 
Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 
“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.
“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   
You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 
Get Ellie ready for school. 
Tend to the sheep. 
Drive Ellie to school. 
You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 
Drive Ellie to daycare. 
Grocery shopping. 
Oil change. 
Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.
Check on Ellie.
Clean the house. 
Make dinner. 
Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.
Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 
She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 
You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 
“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 
Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 
She loves him, that’s why. 
You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 
“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 
“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 
“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 
After all this time, you still never get it right. 
“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 
“Ass.” She says with a grin. 
“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 
With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 
“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 
“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 
“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.
You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 
You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 
“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 
The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 
“Is she my mom now?” 
You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 
“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 
“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 
“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 
“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 
“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 
“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 
“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 
“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 
“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 
Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 
“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 
“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 
“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 
“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 
“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 
“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 
You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 
“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 
“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 
Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 
“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 
“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.
“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.
“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.
“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 
He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 
The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 
Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 
“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 
“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 
You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 
She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 
“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 
“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.
“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.
“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 
She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 
You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 
And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 
Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.
“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 
Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 
The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 
You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 
You’re out of both. 
You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.
Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 
You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 
You didn’t pay attention to the road. 
Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 
He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 
“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 
If you can’t forgive him.
“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 
“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 
“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 
You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 
And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 
Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 
[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 
[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 
The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.
Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 
You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 
This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 
“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”
“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 
“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 
It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 
Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 
He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 
“You- you did all this?”
“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 
“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 
“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 
You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 
You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 
You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.
Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 
You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 
The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.
“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 
“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.
“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 
It’s beautiful. 
“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 
“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.
“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 
“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?
“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 
Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 
You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 
You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 
“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 
He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 
“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 
It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 
The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 
As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.
The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 
You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 
“C’mere, bunny.”
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a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it &lt;3
i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!
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jedi-enthusiast · 1 year
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My [completed] CodyWan Fic Masterlist
This is going to be a very long list of all my favorite CodyWan fics that are completed. Later on today or tomorrow I'll make another list for all of the CodyWan fics I enjoy that are currently ongoing/incomplete (because we, in fandom, need to start supporting authors during the writing process instead of only after, but that's a whole other post).
The fics are gonna be separated by Modern AU, Canon-Divergent/Canon-ish, Crack, and Canon But a Little to the Left. Full Disclaimer: this is going to be a very long list, so the triggers and descriptions will be brief--make sure you read the tags and warnings before reading!
I don't know who these authors are on tumblr, so I can't tag them, but I recommend that you guys tag them if you recognize them--because they deserve all the love <3 and I think, especially now, we need to let fic authors know that we appreciate them.
Modern AU
212th Street Coffee by thosewhowanderwithfire 
Cody runs a coffee shop, Obi-Wan comes in frequently with a different members of his friends/family and Cody learns a lot about his crazy life by eavesdropping.
bury me beneath the tree i climbed when i was a child by stormwarnings 
Obi-Wan's family life is messy, to say the least. Cody and his family work as firefighters/EMTs/etc. and Obi-Wan kinda just gets adopted into the family by constantly needing to call the firefighters/EMTs/etc.
Coruscant Story by TyeDyeBoogers
A mafia AU thing where Obi-Wan and Cody are both in different mafia families, but then they date each other pretending to be regular normal people (bc neither of them know they're in the mafia, much less different families), and then a bunch of stuff happens and drama ensues.
TW: Murder, Violence
cradle my name on your tongue by jynx 
Running from an abusive ex, Obi-Wan and Anakin move to a small town where they set up their tattoo and piercing shop. Obi-Wan quickly falls for Cody, the florist across the street, but bad things happen when Obi-Wan's ex just won't give up.
TW: Violence, Abusive Relationship, Drugging, Attempted SA (this doesn't go into detail, but it's still there)
Foreign Affairs by ro_moray 
Obi-Wan and Anakin come to America as foreign ambassadors, Cody is one of their bodyguards. Both Obi-Wan and Cody fall head over heels quickly, and there's some political drama via Maul.
TW: Violence (I think?)
Hey Bartender by Wxlves 
Obi-Wan and Cody both work as bartenders at Dex's, they become FWB, and feelings ensue.
I've Served My Time In Hell by TheSleepingOne (SleepingNebula) 
There's a zombie apocalypse going on and Obi-Wan is repeatedly fucked over by the universe in the form of being forced to spend time around his ex, Cody, and Cody's very protective family.
TW: Violence, Gore
Liminal Beings by ChubbstheFish 
Cody is the lighthouse keeper in a small town with his family. Obi-Wan and his family move into said small town and become close with Cody's family, but it quickly becomes clear that Obi-Wan and his family aren't exactly what they seem--aka human.
Not Denial by spqr 
Obi-Wan is a PI and Cody is the sorry moron who falls head over heels for him after meeting him exactly once.
TW: Violence
Seeker Prospector by brigitttt
Cody is a bounty hunter looking for his father, Obi-Wan is just trying to study dinosaur bones. The two meet, fuck, and then catch feelings.
TW: Violence, Mild Gore (I think)
We’ll Do This Together by MageOfCole 
Obi-Wan and Cody have a one night stand and Cody accidentally gets Obi-Wan pregnant (of the trans variety, not the a/b/o variety). Obi-Wan tries to hide this from Cody and his family, but Obi-Wan's family doesn't know how to mind their own business. Family hijinks ensue.
What…a sleep over? by Wixiany
Cody's family decides to host a party, but he needs to study, so he heads over to Anakin's brother's house to get some peace and quiet. He wasn't ready for how pretty Obi-Wan was.
You Gave Me the World that I Wanted by Legogirl22 
Cody has to take care of his family, so he swears up and down that he won't fall for the cute bookkeeper he keeps seeing. He fails. Miserably.
Canon Divergent/Canon-ish
A Ghost or a Man by smallandangry 
Obi-Wan makes a life for himself on Tatooine, eventually Cody finds him, and the locals get attached to both.
A New Life by cwiptids 
Rex and Echo hear about a clone on Tatooine...guess who they meet and take another guess as to who they're married to.
end of the road by adiduck (book_people)
Obi-Wan and Cody spar before Utapau and make unfulfilled promises.
Glimpse Of Us by fingerstripesofchaos 
Post-Order 66 angst fic, just like...loads of angst. This is not a happy fic at all, it made me cry.
TW: Suicide Mention/Reference
Haven’t Felt Like This My Dear by Bluebellstar
Cody gets a hangover and is a total baby about it, Obi-Wan is very amused.
little white truths by imperiousphasmid 
Obi-Wan gets injured and only family and spouse(s) are allowed to see him...I think you know where this is going.
Made by Walking by piotsa  
After Order 66, Quinlan finds Cody and then Cody finds Obi-Wan.
not dead yet by keylimemagpie (QuickSilverFox3)
✨ smut with emotions ✨
Our children our future (that we didn’t know of) by Feniksiara   
After Order-66 Cody finds out that the Kaminoans decided to use Obi-Wan and Cody's DNA to make Force-sensitive clones...then the Mandalorian dad genes kick in.
Standard Operating Procedures by galateaGalvanized
A mission goes wrong and suddenly almost the entire 212th is in love with Obi-Wan...except, it appears, Cody. Y'all know exactly where this is going.
all the world in my arms by biscuityskies 
Obi-Wan has nightmares after Kadavo, then shit goes to hell on a mission, and Cody worries--also Anakin and biscuityskies' OC Hex are little shits.
where the fields are painted gold by biscuityskies
The 212th end up crashing in the forest, so Obi-Wan and Cody get some "camping out in the forest" cuddles and also banter.
night spar by cabezadeperro (minigami) 
Obi-Wan and Cody spar at night, and there is a lot of tension. Not of the fun kind, though.
chain of command by cabezadeperro (minigami) 
Obi-Wan and Cody are undercover and eventually have to find some way to keep the people tracking them from finding them. If you've watched Marvel, you know where this is going.
In the Treetops by ebw_writes499 
After a mission on Kashyyyk everyone needs to go to bed, which they do...all the way up in the trees.
Caretaker by ebw_writes499 
On Tatooine, Cody gets sick and Obi-Wan has to take care of him. Obi-Wan is a worrier.
Love Despite the Distance by ebw_writes499 
After the war, Cody and Rex comm each other to catch up. Also Cody became a senator against his will.
Overworked by ebw_writes499 
Obi-Wan and Cody both had the same idea and that idea was "sneak off to take a nap."
Compartment Syndrome by elwenyere 
After a bad crash, Obi-Wan is knocked out and Cody is injured. Cody carries Obi-Wan through all the danger while reminiscing, certain that he'll be decommissioned after due to his injury.
TW: Mild Gore? (of the "description of injury" variety)
Good Soldiers by elwenyere 
A story about Obi-Wan and Cody throughout the War and after Order 66, with a happy ending.
Don’t Worry It's A Very High Threadcount by goldleaf1066 
Obi-Wan uses a blanket to warm up instead of Cody and Cody is very fussy about it. It gets a little angsty near the end, but things end good.
And Our Faces Toward the Sun by goldleaf1066 
The War ends and Cody and Obi-Wan share a kiss.
I'll Bend Your Light Around Me (A Sunrise At My Back) by goldleaf1066   
A sweet little story about Obi-Wan and Cody throughout the war, with a happy ending!
Stepping In, Stepping Out by goldleaf1066   
Cody and Obi-Wan take turns covering for each other when they oversleep.
With Both Our Hands Around It by goldleaf1066
Obi-Wan and Cody discuss their relationship while also participating in some extracurricular activities.
Crack Fics
Compulsive Honesty by afoundling 
Cody, Obi-Wan, and some of the 212th get dosed with truth serum and just have to let it run its course.
Fools and Idiots by BehindBrokenWindows 
Somehow everyone gets it in their heads that Obi-Wan and Padme are fucking, and Anakin is not happy when he finds out. We all know who he's really fucking.
Operation “who’s kriffing the General” by Sweet_bubbs 
Everyone finds out that Obi-Wan is in a relationship with someone, but they don't know who--but boy do they want to find out.
Resignation in more than one sense by BitterChocolateStars   
Obi-Wan tries to resign, Mace is a little shit (affectionate) and says no, and hijinks ensue.
Time to Celebrate by Kurosaki224   
Kurosaki's OC just wants to talk to his superiors after the war and ends up seeing a lot more than he wants to.
Rex finds out by The_neurodivergent_nerd   
Exactly what it sounds like.
The Trickster by The_neurodivergent_nerd  
A long dead Sith lord has a great sense of humor.
Canon But a Little to the Left
closed together by numbika 
Obi-Wan is blind AU where Obi-Wan and Cody get stuck in an elevator together.
I Got My Head Checked by frostbitebakery   
Sith Obi-Wan AU where Cody falls in love with Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan changes the course of the War because Cody and his brothers make him realize he still has his heart.
TW: Violence, Self Harm (of the "making a sith" variety)
Marriage in Disguise by bjjones   
Oops! Looks like to make peace with Mandalore, the Jedi will just have to send Obi-Wan to get married to Cody, son of Manda'lor Jango Fett. They totally weren't dating before this.
We’ll Meet Again by little_dumpling
Obi-Wan doesn't become a Jedi Knight and instead works in the MediCorps and becomes a doctor, then he ends up meeting Cody on Geonosis.
TW: Medical Gore (I think?)
What came after by galateaGalvanized  http://archiveofourown.org/works/29595831 
Obi-Wan has gone full Sith and is on Mandalore, Cody and the 212th go to get their general.
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bohbee · 2 years
Text
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Genshin characters reacting to you falling asleep.
(Part 4)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Masterlist
Characters: Al-Haitham, Tighnari, Cyno, Kaveh, Wanderer
Warnings: getting chased down by eremites [Cyno], poison [Tighnari]
Notes: I like tighnaris a lot it's cute
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Al-Haitham
Life was surely something else when it came to dating the renowned Al-Haitham. The two of you had dated when he was still friends with Kaveh. It was the ultimate trio. However, now, you were some kind of middle ground for them. Thus, here you are, waiting for your boyfriend to come home as you help your dear architect friend finish his 3-D model. The both of you groan in frustration trying to assemble the abstract building together.....
Al-Haitham opened the door to a very quiet home. He had assumed his lover and roommate had left to go shopping or something, but as soon as he walked into the living room, he was surely mistaken. He shook his head in a slightly irritated manner. The both of you were slumped over the table, papers, and notes laying underneath your faces."You're gonna work them to death, Kaveh." his voice whispered out. After placing a coat on Kavehs shoulders, he carefully lifted your body up and walked to his room, placing you down softly on the bed. "Sleep well, my doll." Al-Haitham then left to make some dinner for the three of you.
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Cyno
Dating the General Mahamatra was always fun. Something was always going on. However, it's not always fun, for example now. Today was exhausting. You had been tracked down by some eremites, causing you to run for your god damn life. Cyno was quick to follow behind them, destroying each of them that had been a threat to his lover.
You stumbled on the ground, sand enveloping your foot, and quickly whipped your head backward only to see a deathly smile staring back at you. However, that was quickly ended by Cynos Wrath. He obliterated the eremite and then stared at you, checking you for injuries. You shook your head with a small giggle, "I'm fine, love, that run was a little scary, though." He let out a sigh of relief and lifted your body from the sand, "Let's go," he said.
While walking back home, he felt your breath slow. Looking down, he was met with your peaceful face. Clearly, you had been exhausted from the run, so he let you rest, kissing your forehead lovingly.
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Kaveh
You had felt guilty for your two other roommates. They both worked in the Akademiya while you hadn't. However, you made it up by cleaning the house consistently. Al-Haitham appreciated your efforts. However, Kaveh wasn't happy that you were cleaning for his "dick" of a roommate. Today the weather was really rainy, so while the two of them were gone, you had decided to make them some stew. After placing all of the stuff in the pot, you decided to sit down at the table for a little bit. Soon, though, the sound of the rain hitting the concrete and the smell of the stew laid you to a restful nap....
Today, Kaveh hadn't forgotten his key, so when he unlocked the house, he was hit with the rich aroma of stew. The blonde male took a deep breath through his nose and walked to the kitchen only to find his beautiful lovers head resting on the table. He smiled heavily, kissing your forehead, cheeks, and lips. Your eyes fluttered open, looking into your boyfriends beautiful eyes. He smiled at you, placing another kiss on your lips, "If you guys are gonna keep on doing that then go to your own room" Al-Haitham randomly blurted out "HOW DAR-"
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Tighnari
You had worked for Tighnari before the two of you dated. However, now that you were dating, you would always venture the forest together. Today, the two of you were looking around trying to find new types of fungi. The both of you had found some, so you separated to gather them. As you cut the mushroom to place it in your pouch, a pwoof of green air came out of it. Your vision became blurry as everything spun around you. *thump* Tighnaris ears picked up on your body, hitting the ground. He quickly rushed over. "You buffoon, those are obviously poisonous." He grabbed your body and rushed back to his office.
When you opened your eyes, you were met with a particularly pissed Tighnari. He shuddered at his glare. "So my dear. What on TEYVAT went through YOUR MIND-"
After the long lecture Tighnari gave you, he handed you some food. "Thank you, Nari, I love you." He shook his head softly, his tail swaying a little "I love you as well, now eat up while I tell you what to look for in mushrooms." Tonight was gonna be long.
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Wanderer (Kuni)
You had decided to join your boyfriend and Nahida to pick some flowers. It wasn't often that you did this, but Nahida needed to explain some things over with your anemo boyfriend. The sun was beating down perfectly on your skin, not too hot but rather the perfect amount of warmth while the semi cool breeze hit. You laid down in the field of white and purple flowers as Kuni and Nahida walked talking about the near future. The aroma of Sumeru Roses filled your lungs as the sun led you to a small nap in the grass.
"Tehee." A small giggle could be heard from the Dendro Archon, grabbing The Wanderers' attention. He followed her gaze only to find his lover taking a catnap surrounded by flowers. It was a beautiful sight, but it deeply embarrassed him. After saying goodbye to Nahida, he shook you awake "(y/n), get up," you woke up to his eyes glaring at you "only I'm supposed to see you like that." He said grumbling a bit, you got up and gave a small laugh "I'm sorry, my love"
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Ehhhh
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stardust-sunset · 2 months
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You sent me some hcs so now I’ll send you some in return ❤️🎞️
• sometimes the gang will have sleepovers where they’ll all sleep in the living room on the floor. They’ll drag out all the blankets and pillows from their room and just be in a puppy pile on the floor
• going off your hc of Darry being a daycare worker, one day he came home from work looking utterly green and Soda and Pony are like oh hell no this bitch brought a stomach bug home and of course they all get sick and it’s a miserable experience. It gets passed through everyone in the gang, no one is safe, and it’s all Steve and Soda’s fault because they can’t stay apart for too long without being bored so Steve tried to hang out w him while they were sick and got sick himself then everyone else got it too 😭
• in the summer they’ll all go to a lake to go swimming and Darry will pack everyone sandwiches and sodas and they’ll have a fun day in the water <3 he attempts to teach everyone how to swim but Soda and Steve are roughhousing, Two-Bit is scared of going where he can’t reach and is clinging to Darry (Darry literally has Two-Bit on his hip like a baby 😭), and Dally is getting a kick out of trying to wrestle Pony and Johnny at the same time 💀 they were doing chicken fights at one time like where you sit on someone’s shoulders but Steve was on Soda’s and Pony was on Two-Bit’s and Pony “accidentally” poked Steve in the eye so they had to stop
• Soda saved up for awhile and got Darry a really nice heating pad for his birthday that he could use on his back when he’s sore but Soda ends up using it more than him because he steals it every time he has a stomachache smh 🤦🏼‍♀️
• Darry LOVES gossip. You know who else does? Dally and Steve. Between the three of them, they know EVERYONE’S business in town. Dally knows a lot of people from the different gangs, Steve hears stuff at work, and so does Darry, especially stuff about the adults in town like teachers from school and peoples parents and stuff. The three of them will be sitting at the kitchen table with their chins in their hands just like “and THEN what happened?” they’re so nosy
• Two-Bit is super good with kids so maybe one day Darry helps him get a job at the daycare so he can finally start getting his life together and he LOVES it so much and is actually really good at it 🥺
• Johnny skips school allll the time literally just because like he’ll sleep over the Curtis house and everyone is getting ready in the morning and he’s just laying on the couch still. Darry will be like “come on Johnny you’re gonna be late if you don’t get up now!!” And Johnny’s just like “um no 😊 no school today ❤️” and Darry’s just like bruh. Pony tries to pull the same thing after seeing Johnny do it and Darry’s like absolutely not
• whenever Soda is sad, Darry is who he wants. He finds so much comfort in his big brother, especially because Darry can always tell when something is wrong. He’ll just get this look on his face when he’s upset and Darry’s like “come here” and just pulls Soda into a nice long hug and lets him talk about whatever he needs to <3
I hope you liked these! Most of them were just silly and fun ❤️ love Johnnycakesswitch ❤️🎞️
BROO the happy little dance I did when I saw you sent me an ask, your hcs are my favorites i swear 😭😭😭
THEY DO HAVE CUDDLE PILES 🗣️ Like I know it starts out with just the Curtises and then Steve drags his ass over and crawls next to Soda and then Two Bit JUMPS in and crushes everyone’s legs (bitch) and they just invite Johnny over because he will NOT insinuate cuddles, you have to do that but he doesn’t put up a fight. Then Johnny drags Dally in like “I will if Dal does” and Dally’s just like “Fine man 😡”
Darry definitely brings home illnesses and sicknesses all the fucking time because little kids are gross and don’t have the ability to be hygienic so he comes home with spit and snot on himself sometimes and then he’s like “wow I feel like shit”-Pony gets SO mad he’s like “Darry it’s your fault I feel like shit because you brought home a stomach bug 😡” he uses it to guilt Darry into rubbing his tummy for him-Soda just whines a lot but in all seriousness they take good care of Darry (who can be a TERRIBLE PATIENT BTW-the only reason he stays home is because Soda’s like “you’re gonna throw up on a roof or in front of kids” and Darry thinks about it and is just like “😨”
I love headcanons of them swimming! I’m working on the holiday headcanons you sent in and I was JUST typing about them going swimming-they totally do! Darry loves anything where he can show his strength off so he’s just there with Two Bit on his waist like a wet cat-Johnny has to get Dally in-he tries to be nice like “cmon Dal there’s no sense in you sweating your butt off while there’s water right here” but Dally is a stubborn BITCH so he’s like “no” and then Sassy Bitch comes to light and he’s like “what are you on your period or something?” and Dally gets PISSED and tackles Johnny into the water-they got him in tho. Only problem is being in the water for so long makes them SO hungry and Darry is dealing with six whiny bitches as he drives to Dairy Queen 😭 (Also Pony poking Steve in the eye is so real, he’s such a hater. I also know he scratches him with his nails and Steve gets so mad because he has scratch marks all over his chest. “It was an accident Darry I was just tryna push him off 😇”
Soda would so do that-he just wants Darry to be happy and comfortable :( I feel like Darry ends up looking for it after work but sees either Soda or Pony curled up with it-Soda is just sitting there like “Darry I’ll give you a massage if you let me use this for five more hours minutes” and Darry’s like “fine” but in the end he just lets his brothers use it because he doesn’t feel like fighting them lmao-Soda is frequently getting stomachaches because his stomach is sensitive. Pony just doesn’t drink anything but Pepsi and he has a habit of not eating and then he wonders why his stomach is killing him
Darry being into gossip is SO funny like we’re not gonna sit here and pretend he doesn’t eavesdrop on conversations while he’s roofing homes. He also gets flirted with a LOT at work-one time he was roofing his old third grade teacher’s house and she would not stop flirting with him-he shrugged it off until he was finished and he was like “yeah do you happen to know a Darry Curtis?” and he just has this smirk on his face and she’s just like “shit 😨”-yeah that one had the whole squad laughing. He also knows Dally knows stuff from being in jail and just snooping around at night so those two are gossip QUEENS. They all gossip-Pony and Johnny report back to Soda and Darry about their old teachers and they love it.
Awwwww YES-especially because I think Two Bits mom would send his sister there sometimes and bumping off your headcanon about him watching her a lot so when Two Bit is picking her up one day he just hands him and application like “Just think about it” and he does. And he works there in the end-his little sister introduces him to all her friends too-she’s one of the oldest ones there but she doesn’t care. Two just loves interacting with the kids and goofing off-I feel like it also leads him to drink less because he doesn’t wanna be intoxicated around little kids so working there helps manage his alcoholism. He also doesn’t mind being dressed up by the kids-I love using the musical’s Two Bit-they love playing with his curls and they think his tattoos are the coolest things in the world. He’s so happy there 🥺
Johnny literally just says that and Darey’s like “whatever, I’m not your dad” so he just lets him stay at his home 😭 Pony’s always like “why do you let Johnny stay home 😡” and he’s like “I’m not Johnny’s caretaker, now get up.” and Pony just bitches about it so so much-Darry’s just like “Fine Johnny I won’t make you go, there’s food in the fridge and just sleep or smth” like Darry learned to stop giving a shit but Pony is SO whiny about it-
Darry just knowing when his brothers are sad, UGH it’s the purest thing-I feel like Soda prefers Darry because Darry just knows how to properly hold and comfort Sosa in the way he likes. Darry also knows Pony LOVES deep pressure and honestly it’s just like second nature. Darry lets Soda listen to his heartbeat or rest his head on his stomach. He always knows when Soda’s feeling better because he’s like “it’s nice your belly’s happy” because it’s just making noises and Darry just laughs a bit and they just talk it out-babies 💜
I love your headcanons, never feel scared to just spam my inbox! This goes for anyone lol
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angelbaby-fics · 11 months
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Hi love, how are you! I haven’t been on tumblr much lately but I still love you and your work!! I’ve been dealing with some tough stuff with my health and have been little a lot more lately. Would you write Cg!Ransom as just turning into a melted fit of mush for the reader?Just like absolutely spoiling them and doing whatever they want when they don’t feel good?
Love,
🐣
Daddy's Day Off
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Word Count: 750
A/N: Aww hello angel! I'm glad to hear from you again & I hope you're always doing alright 💕 eeep I love Ransom so much, especially in the cold months I just want to cling to him hehehe 💕
It was a busy day full of stressful meetings and Ransom was not at all pleased about it. As much as he loved being extravagantly rich, the people he had to deal with on a daily basis almost made it not worth it. Almost. One thought of you, your bright eyes and contagious smile, and Ransom was reminded that he’d go through hell just to make that happen. He checked the time on his phone, just an excuse to look at the background image really. It was a picture of you and him, a selfie he had taken while you were curled up with him on the couch - he smiled at the camera, but your loving gaze was locked on him. Every time he saw this picture it reminded him what he did it all for.
He couldn’t do it today though, he just couldn’t. You’d had a nightmare earlier, screaming yourself out of slumber in the wee hours of the morning. The rest of the night was spent with you curled up against his chest and him hardly sleeping, dutifully keeping watch on you to make sure you stayed at peace. It broke his heart to close you out of his home office that morning, your rejected face echoing through his head as he tried to focus on today’s planner entries. All he wanted was to be finished with this stupid workday and to spend the rest of it with you. Your love was the only thing that could relieve his stress after a long day of dealing with a bunch of a-holes. Yes, he needed his baby just as much as you needed him. 
To hell with it. Ransom sent a short email to his assistant to cancel all his meetings as he needed to take a personal day. With that, he shut his laptop and tossed his work phone into his desk drawer, nearly slamming it shut. He was so eager to get away from all this and just relax with you. When he opened his office door, he almost expected you to still be there looking up at him with tearful eyes, but like the brave and independent baby he’d raised you to be, you had already begun trying to distract yourself until Ransom was finished with work. 
You knew Ransom didn’t like distractions when he was in work-mode, so although you’d rather spend the day curled up with him just as you’d spent last night, you took it upon yourself to keep occupied. That’s how Ransom found you on the floor of the living room, the massive flatscreen tv playing a marathon of Bluey episodes above you. Every color of crayon was scattered all around you, a pile of already finished drawings stacked upon the coffee table. At the sound of Ransom’s heavy footsteps, your head shot up from your picture of a cat in a garden.
“Daddy, you finished already?” You asked hopefully.
“Daddy got a surprise day off, baby!” He replied, scooping you up into his arms. 
“What are we gonna do?” You asked, looking up at him with more love in your eyes than Ransom thought he deserved in his whole lifetime. 
“Anything you want, babydoll. I’m all yours.” Ransom carried you to the giant sofa, keeping you pressed against his firm chest as he swaddled the two of you together in a big plush throw blanket. 
He handed you the remote, happy to sit through any cartoon or cheesy musical if it meant making you happy. When he heard your tummy rumble after a while, Ransom grabbed the house phone and ordered your favorite pizza, without even needing to ask if you wanted it. He knew you better than he even knew himself. He helped you eat your pizza as you watched tv, something you rarely got to do at the same time. When you finished eating, he carried you to the kitchen to get you dessert and a bottle, not wanting to put you down for even a second.
Hours later, the credits on your second movie of the day were crawling across the screen, and Ransom was sure you were fast asleep, when suddenly he heard your tiny voice muffled through the blankets and his comfy thick sweater.
“Dada?” You asked, even smaller than you’d been this morning.
“What’s up, babydoll?” He whispered down to you.
“You gotta get a day off more often.” You mumbled, drifting into sleep.
“I will, baby. I will.”
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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months
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C, I, K, L Q and Z for Jax plz? 👀
Fluff Alphabet w/ Jax! (1)
as of writing this i only have this request and one more!! i didnt think i would be able to catch up them all when i woke up this morning, but ive been killin it today i guess! yahoo! Im still taking requests but after this and the next ill take another short break to stretch my legs and recharge my brain !!
CUDDLING- if you read the caine alphabet, i believe i mention that caine would wrap his arms and legs around you and trap you (at least i did, im p sure i did but im too tired to check)
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well, jax does that to you, pretty much, but hes a lot more stubborn about letting you go and wants to see you squirm and fight for your freedom... so good luck if you had anything planned that day...! he looks like he would be soft, both because bunmy... but also like, stylistically he looks like he would be squishy.. pretty pleasant to cuddle in to!
IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- unless the adventure gives him some ammo and/or way to be a menace to others, i think he just skips them. or if he does stick around he just. doesnt help, instead kind of just not doing anything.. now whether or not you and jax share similar traits is up to you, but if you needed help and asked nicely he would help you with something but otherwise youre on your own sister (gender neutral)
KISS- lots of kisses, especially if you get flustered easily. sure, you get a bit of a break from his antics but not by much... and if he can make you turn red from simply kissing your cheek hes going to exploit that.. speaking of, a lot of the kisses he gives are quick and fleeting, usually short pecks while hes walking by
LOVE LANGUAGE- little harmless pranks that make you do a double take or mildly confuse you are how he shows his love. now this is different from his usual stuff, because what he does to you is like. he leaves you a note. aww hes telling you how cute he thinks you are..! you pull the note out and BOOM! theres now powder everywhere and the note says you're sweet (the powder, being sugar). shit like that. outside of that words of affirmations work for him to, giving and receiving.. gonna be real though, i think jax is one of the hardest characters for me to write for since hes an ass (no shade to everyone asking for him! i love a little challenge!)
QUIET TIME- does not like quiet calm moments, but thats because hes an enjoyer and bringer of chaos, so moments of true silence are very rare. but lets say you two both just sit down and just. exist. actually, ill do you one better and tie this into the cuddling segment, he would probably busy his hands with your hair or any accessory you have on you
ZZZ- assuming you guys can sleep if you so desired, and you somehow convince jax to sleep with you (i think he would be the type to need to be talked into it), he would steal all the blankets. and the pillows. regardless of if hes actually sleeping or not. if this were the real world, and you guys were normal people and you actually needed to sleep due to exhaustion he would ease up on you (if hes doing this while awake). most definitely the type to say something as youre trying to sleep
"first person protagonists in video games never blink" or something similar
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martybaker · 2 years
Text
Thinking about Dream cat behavior.
Especially retired Dream behavior I think would be very cat like.
Climbing into Hob’s lap as he’s sitting in his home office, trying to work, suddenly finding himself with a lapful of warm Dream. Pale arms wrapped around him, tucking his nose against Hob’s neck, purring, falling sleep. Well guess that’s all the work Hob’s gonna do today, he can’t move now. He’s not a monster.
Curling on Hob’s chest as he’s lying on the couch.
Getting impatient when Hob takes too long in the bathroom, and either joining him or complaining behind the door. “Hob,” he says, not whining at all.
Coming to inspect what snack Hob’s got at every crinkle of a packet.
Enjoying Hob’s scratches and pets with a blissed out expression on his face.
Having moments of frantic energy highs when he snoops through Hob’s stuff, roaming from room to room, until he finds something that piques his curiosity and sates his agitation.
Doing nothing but sprawling on bed the whole day.
Launching himself at Hob from behind and nuzzling against his back as he’s scrubbing the dishes, scaring him shitless.
Leaving scratches on Hob.
Perching on every surface possible, counters, desks, tables, the back of the sofa, the windowsill.
Hissing at appliances when they don’t cooperate with him.
Biting.
Demanding attention when he’s left alone for too long.
Waking Hob up at ass o’clock in the mornings, because while sleep and dreams are important so is cuddling your Dream close and Dream’s been awake for some time already so he needs attention now.
Hating getting wet. Rain is evil.
Birds are fascinating.
Licking.
Nuzzling against Hob’s legs, chest, back, face, anything.
Seeking warm spots in the house.
anyways that’s all I have for Dream’s a cat agenda for now 🐈‍⬛
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