#gonna not even do my errands til at least Sunday

[phantomrose96]

Cat sitter update: Patches misses me I miss her 😭

[alovevigilante]

....on trying to think of ways to create the process of getting laundry done without actually having to physically do it, and also feeling good... and writing about how to achieve feeling good, thereby creating and experiencing a great life. (Side note: Dave Chappelle yells out the word “bitches” a lot. Maybe not in this instance, but he has in the past. So I’d like you to read this gif as if Dave Chappelle was saying it. And that loving and fun “Dave Chappelle” energy is my intention though out this piece below. Clarity, is everything. 😉 Thank you, the management)

I really want to wear this certain shirt today, but it’s either buried or isn’t, in amongst 3 loads of clean laundry that I proceeded to fold, not put away, and unfold after rifling through it looking for other clothes to wear on other days. It now needs to be refolded, and put away in its proper places. Sometimes when I put laundry away, I shove it into the drawer over other clothes I have also rifled through at other times in my haste, leaving the drawer hard to navigate, cause it now consists of folded clothes shoved on top of other clothes, over unfolded, craziness. I can’t even open the drawers, they’re so chalk full of disorganized chaos. But I haven’t even gotten that far yet. I’m still at the point, where I’m laying on the bed, thinking about the shirt I was hoping to wear today, that I’m also hoping would somehow magically float into my hands from somewhere, but I dunno from where yet, because too much effort. All of me, is upended.

When you don’t keep up with your organization, it becomes harder to find your way, or, in this case, your shirt. So, what do you do, when you are wanting something that you don’t have yet, but you know it’s going to take some effort to get it? Yes. Good question. Now, let’s go back. Did my thoughts make it harder, or easier to believe that I can find my shirt in a timely manner? Ok... 3 loads of mish mosh laundry, not even sure if it’s in there... more implied mess... overstuffed, unorganized drawers, always a pleasure to recall... you feel that? Some would call it, resistance. And it is. I like to call it something way more “nail on the head”. I call it, “I don’t want to frickin do it so I think about how hard and annoying it’s gonna be to achieve it and no, don’t want to, so there, I’ll lay on my bed” syndrome. Let’s choose to call it “resistance” for short.

What some call, “the path of least resistance” is the way to more easily navigate through life, and is only accessible, truly, with your thoughts, and belief that it will be easier for you to choose, easier. So let’s do that. Ok, using my 10 days of endless laundry sitting in baskets in my room as an example, how can I get what I want, and take the “thoughts of least resistance” instead of the action. Cause let’s face it, the thoughts I was thinking, are only going to keep me not only from achieving anything, but it will also keep me stuck to this bed.

So, let’s start with how I feel about this shirt I want to find. Let’s entertain the feeling of that for a bit. This shirt, is fantastic! Why you don’t ask? I’ll tell you! It’s soft, and flowy. It’s really comfortable, and the best part is, I can get away with not wearing a bra in it! Or not, I guess it depends on the beholder. But, it’s a great choice on a Sunday morning where all I have is one errand, so i think I’ll wear it. Great! Good news. We have completed a few sentences of thought, thinking about the good feelings of the shirt. It even has a cool saying on the front, as most of my tees tend to sport. Yes. I like it. Ok. Don’t think sports cause you don’t know about sports... ok. Well, I backslid a bit. Sports, sometimes make me feel, not included with about the 82% of the world population that loves them. Crap.... ok, that’s ok. I’m aware of that. I made a conscious choice, to choose a next better thought (energy) to experience from the last one. Here it is, ready? Who gives a rip! Great! Well, wait a minute... I clearly do, if I mentioned it. Ok, oh no. I’ve gone from one thought (energy) to another about how I’m feeling inadequate. Rats! Ok, rats remind me of the Pixar movie, ratatouille. Cute. I like that. I like both Pixar, and that movie. Ok, getting better. Now, I have one of 2 ways I can go with this. I can bemoan the fact that I too, am a story teller (in my case, most of the time, a story yeller) and I’m out of work and I have no connections to cool people who write stories cause I don’t have a background in animation, OR, I can think about how the rat cooks awesome food for a human who’s trying to better himself, and put trust, in a rat. Crap! That’s not a great thought to have. It’s also, not a real scenario. Let’s choose better.

Let’s try, SHIFTING energies completely. Sometimes when you’re trying to think about what you don’t desire, it doesn’t help you. Because you can’t switch topics and expect a different result. You can, however, switch energies. How to we do that? Ok. Also a great question. Now we’re really getting somewhere, because that question, had the energy of wanting better for ourselves, and that feels better. Yes! Ok! We’re on a roll now! Yes, rolling on in... with the good energy! Evita, is my all time favorite musical. They have a song, called, “rolling on in” or not, cause I’m not good at knowing lyrics, or names of songs. Eh. I used to sing professionally, and now, I’m trying to find myself another completely different career. One that I’d appreciate more, and feel like I belonged in. Well, these thoughts, are ass, and just make me want to continue laying on the bed, cause although I love the people who love them and perform in them, I’m not generally a big fan, of the genre of musical theater. There. Now I feel worse, by that admission, and worse, then when I started discussing my shirt in my clean laundry pile.

My point, however long winded, is this: it’s never about the laundry. It’s about your resistant feelings. So, thinking your way out of things, won’t work unless you can hold a different, slightly better feeling for a certain amount of time. Let’s say, a few seconds. Again, how to we shift the energy deliberately, and stay with it long enough to create a new, slightly better energy we can maintain? Ok, let���s try this: think about the word, BLANK for 15 seconds. Go! I’ll time you...

Did you think about the word blank, and only the word blank? If you thought about other things, don’t worry. Try it again. I’ll wait. Think about the word “blank” without entertaining any other thoughts during that time. Ok? Go! Again, I’ll time it.

Did you think about how I was going to time it and tell you when to stop? Or did you think of the word blank for 15 seconds and time yourself? Either way is cool. One way, is “this Kari broad, is a serious nut ball”, and can make you laugh. Another way, you thought about blankness, for 15 seconds. Either way, you interrupted the momentum of your last energy, and created some new stuff to play with. That’s fun! Play! Yeah! How can I insert that into my daily life in this moment? I know! Just for now, I can stay in my pjs and not get dressed yet. Then, when I feel inspired to, like I’m kinda feeling now, I’ll turn on some tunes, and reorganize my mind a bit around the fact that it will feel so much better to have the laundry cleaned up once and for all til more eventually comes but I won’t think about that last part, shit!

Ok, no problem. Music is still fun. I like Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, and Nazareth, and a whole bunch of other bands. Let’s just choose enjoy the music, and get this shit done cause my future me will be elated with the cleaned up situation. Yes, I will do that, for the future me. I will choose, better thoughts and actions for the future me. Cool.

And that’s how you take, happiness, into your own very deliberate hands. By choosing to feel better, and feeling, and choosing and subsequently doing whatever it takes, to get yourself there, minute by minute, day by day. The fact is, unless you’re a laundry fanatic, it’s not exactly what most of us want to spend our time doing. But we can deliberately choose to think our way into making the best out of any situation.

Dream on (Aerosmith), or ramble on (Led Zeppelin)? Does love hurt (Nazareth)? Or can it heal your feelings, by choosing it? Only you can decide for yourself. Recognizing and making a deliberate choice and effort to reorganize your thoughts before they get out of hand, like my laundry is, helps. 😉⚡️💕

P.S. I found my shirt! And yeah, it’s a lil wrinkled, but it’s Sunday! And I’m all about the message, and not so much the outside appearance... well... maybe a lil bit of both. And yes, I’m still in bed, cause it gives me more pleasure writing about my laundry, then actually doing it. 🙈🤷‍♀️😉💕☺️

[justlookfrightened]

Locked out, Part 57

Start from the beginning here:  Part 1

Read previous installment here: Part 56

After burritos and beer (for Shitty and Lardo) and a week excuse for iced tea for Eric and Jack, Shitty and Lardo split off before Eric and Jack started walking towards Faber.

“Wait, Lardo, wasn’t there something you wanted to talk about?” Eric said.

“No worries, Bits,” Lardo said. “It’ll keep. Tomorrow, maybe.”

“All right,” Eric said. “I’ll call you.”

“Sure thing,” Lardo said.

Eric took in the way Jack looked at the campus, which was nearly at its best in the late summer sun. The trees were green and leafy, and the surface of the pond glinted, and even the Well managed to look charming instead of sad and cliched.

As they approached Faber, Jack stopped just to look.

“It’s gorgeous,” Jack said.

“Wait ‘til you see the inside,” Eric said.

The ice shone almost gold with the light streaming in the tall windows. The bottom part of the glass was misted over with the contrast in temperature between the inside and outside, but the blue of the sky was clear.

“It must be something to play here,” Jack said, taking it in.

“It is,” Eric said. “You want to wait here while I go see the coaches, or you want to come with?”

“You want me to be there?”

“Maybe after I tell them?” Eric said. “It might be a little while -- we have to go over the practice schedule and stuff first.”

“That’s fine,” Jack said, pulling his phone out. “MInd if I take some pictures?”

“Go ahead,” Eric said. “I’ll text you when we’re ready. Office is down that hall.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

Eric spent about a half-hour going over the practice schedule with Hall and Murphy -- early mornings Tuesdays and Thursdays, Monday evenings when there wasn’t a Sunday game, and late Friday afternoons most weeks. Team gym time would be Mondays before practice and Thursday afternoons, and players were expected to put in at least one session a week on their own.

“I’m gonna be busy,” Eric said. “I have my thesis, too, and my boss from the summer wants me to work a few hours a week too.”

“In Providence?” Hall said. “That’s a hike.”

“Only once a week there,” Eric said. “I’ll try not to have a class on Wednesdays, or maybe just one, so I can go then. And I can study on the train.”

“If you say so,” Hall said. “If you need to miss an occasional practice -- and that means for classwork as well as your job -- make sure you talk to us. We can set you up with tutors or whatever you need. But we need you to be eligible.”

They’d also covered what they wanted Eric to do: lead warm-ups before practices and games, serve as a team leader and spokesman, as the captains before had done.

“We’re not looking to you to draw up plays or develop strategy,” Murray said, “Although you’re welcome to make suggestions, of course. What we would like is your input on how to help the team develop more speed, and also maybe help them work on flexibility.

“I can come up with some drills to do that,” Eric said. “I can talk to my old skating coach -- I met up with her over the summer -- and see if she can give me some ideas.”

“The other thing we need to talk about is how you want to handle being out as captain,” Hall said. “It’s probably going to generate some attention from beyond our campus. We can just shut it down -- not make you available to talk to anyone besides the Daily, or tell other hockey writers that questions have to be limited to the game. One of us can sit with you to make sure they stick to it.”

“Is that what you want me to do?” Eric asked.

“It’s up to you,” Hall said. “I don’t want you distracted by too much media. But I know that a lot of people are interested, and I think you would be a good a role model. We could set up one of two interviews at the beginning of the season, but say anyone who wants to talk to you pre- or post-game sticks to hockey.”

“I think I could do that,” Eric said. “I just remember being so scared to come out. Even to the team. It would have been easier if I realized that I wasn’t the only one.”

“Have you come out to your parents yet?” Murray asked. “You should try to do that before we do anything.”

“I did,” Eric said. “I went home over the Fourth of July, and I talked to them before I went back to Providence.”

“How did it go?” Hall asked.

Eric shrugged.

“Not great, not terrible,” Eric said. “We’ve talked since. My mother will be here for parents weekend. Maybe my dad, too.”

“Sounds like it could have been worse,” Hall said.

“Yeah,” Eric said. “My boyfriend was there, and that really helped a lot.”

“Boyfriend?” Murray said. “Someone from Samwell?”

“Uh, no,” Eric said. “Not exactly.”

There was a rap on the door, and then Ford poked her head in.

“Coach Hall? Coach Murray? I found this guy hanging out by the ice. He said he’s a friend of Bitty’s. I have to go run an errand and I didn’t want to just leave him there.”

“We’re about done,” Murray was saying as the door swung open wider and Jack came into view.

“Jack Zimmermann?”

“Hi, Eric,” Jack said. “Sorry if we’re interrupting.”

******************************

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Read the next installment: Part 58