#gonna make one that's 'from' each of the Archivists

[ask-thearchivists]

X)

Hihihi clever! Very clever!

Nothing! Nothing is more powerful than God, and nothing is more evil than the Devil, the Riches wants nothing for they have abundance, meanwhile the poor has nothing and if we eat nothing, we surely die.

Space! Space is made of "nothing" it's a void, but holds moons, planets, suns, solar systems, nebulas, galaxies, and clusters of stars and galaxies, it holds the whole creation or cosmos if you wish.

;)

I loved it!

*writes it down to keeps it forever*

A final Riddle, this one is my own making.

*clears throat*

A book for the ages.

A vessel that survives any storm

A shelter to the heart

A hammer that shapes any steel.

What am I?

The Collector: Hmm...it could be love, or determination, or hope.

The Collector: Okay, I have some more Collector riddles for you. This first one the Coordinator taught me. What are the only two ingredients for making mortals? The Curator's is: The cosmos are infinite, but what isn't possible? The Cartographer once told me, how do you get from one side of the galaxy to the other instantly? And Charmer said: what is impossible for a planet to escape from once it is in its grasp?

[yuri-is-online]

Thinking about the future kid au and Jamil!Yutu (help his tsum is so cute, i love the tsum events)

Like...you said Jamil! Yutu wishes he wasn't born so his dad wouldn't have been executed because some Asim relatives guilted him (desoite them being the ACTUAL reason he died)

Needless to say his relationship with his dad is complicated , but I can't stop thinking about Yutu being of two minds about his parents like "I'm gonna get in the way of your plans for the evening because I don't want either of you to get close and eventually die because of me" but also somehow everything he attempts doesn't work

Because Jamil isn't one to give up easily (none of the boys are) and he just- feels so much freer and happier than he ever has when he gets to trade snarky comments, silly puns and honest praise with Yuu. And he won't let this mysterious guy get ik the way of that, he pretends to enjoy his remaining years at NRC to the best of his ability thank you very much. Plus he's working on gaining his freedom and Yuu is his number one cheerleader at this don't tell Kalim tho he'll be sure to cranck up his enthusiasm if you do ofc he won't stop talking to them nor dreaming of what could be, it's all he has to avoid going mad

Yutu however is losing his mind because every time there's danger he gets reminded of his dad's corpse being dragged around and he keeps worrying this time his dad will die trying to protect Yuu from harm

Little does he know Jamil would rather give his life protecting Yuu than any Asim because that's his CHOICE and that's the person who chose HIM over everyone else. Cue Yutu recovering from the battle, looking around frantically for signs of either of his parents and seeing Yuu patching Jamil up, bantering lightly and sharing such soft looks. They look so happy despite their bruises and suddenly Yutu gets this nauseating feeling of dread because he can see why they fell in love, which means maybe he's too late to stop it now

And then Grim complains that he's hungry after the fight and they both share this look and Yutu gets the little sadness of "oh, this is what it would've been like"

Just- aaaaaaahhhhhhh this au is so good and so angsty but also I wanna add just a little bit of fluff for these poor boys (my original thought was of Yutu seeing his parents meeting in the town and following them to try to sabotage their not-date only to end up making each scenario more romantic until he gives up when they start dancing in the middle of nowhere and he recognizes the dance from when Yuu taught him many years ago)

Happy Birthday Jamil (so sorry this is late), the tsum part of this post really shows you how old it is I am so sorry. Jamil is a real cutie though, his birthday message this year is him thanking Yuu for being someone he can trust to give him something without having ulterior motives. Post OB! Jamil should have a special sort of respect for Yuu I think. He understands what it is like to have to care for someone who makes a lot of problems against your will, but maybe not that you could love that person in the way Yuu loves Grim. Lots to think about with JamilYuu, lots to think about... so this one gets to have two parts as well whoops.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, CW lots of self hatred and thoughts of death, body horror, major character death, bullying, and brief mention of suicide. This post features some o.c.s created by @archetypal-archivist for this ayuu. More information about the ayuu can be found here, here, and here. Masterlist can be found here

The early morning is a sacred time for your little family.  When Yutu was little you would sneak into his room to make sure he was still asleep.  He never was, he'd developed some sort of sixth sense for when his favorite person was home and would wait patiently snuggled into the red scarf he used as a security blanket to surprise you.

“Boo!”  The scarf would go up in the air and you would let out an exaggerated gasp of surprise as your son giggled in manic delight.  “I got you!”

“You got me!”  He'd been little enough to lift up into the air then, you miss those days even though they were difficult.  

Your son still “spooks” you when you come home in the morning.  His former blanket has become a part of his wardrobe, and he's much too big for you to lift up over your head anymore but he's not pretending to be asleep anymore either.  

“Boo!”  Today Yutu has made some tomatoes and eggs, you think you smell coffee but that's not a smart thing for you to be drinking right now.  

“Thank you, little light.”  You settle down at your kitchen table and Yutu excitedly tells you about his plans for the day.  When he does this you always feel lucky, as if you didn't expect him to be such a normal and happy child.  As if there was something other than poverty and your illness that would hold him down and deny him any sense of self or success.  Yutu has never felt like there is anything he cannot do so long as he tries, he's very ambitious, your little light.  You've told him more than once you hope his spark never dims, that you are so proud of him for not letting his circumstances dictate his goals.

There's some relief in knowing you aren't here to see him hiding behind his scarf again.  It would hurt you to see how fast he shrinks away from the lich descending from his throne, putrid rotting flesh assaulting his nose even through the silk guard.  This is his fault, he can find no other logical explanation.  You would disagree, he has no idea what the corpse in front of him would say, but neither of you lived to see what he has.  He's not so full of himself that he thinks the world ended with his birth, but yours most certainly did.  

Yutu is a smart and polite child, the sort of little boy who makes old ladies swoon and insist that his parents are so lucky to have him.  That was a point of pride for him before arriving in Twisted Wonderland.  He never had too many questions about his father, he could see he wasn't the only one of his peers who was being raised by a single parent which was enough reassurance for him.  Maybe he'd meet his father one day, maybe he wouldn't.  He was much more concerned with making friends and learning everything he could.

He loves school in general, but his favorite subject is the stars.  It starts with him trying to amuse himself while waiting for you to come home from work and evolves into a hobby as he gets older.  His first proper expensive present is a refurbished telescope you spent a lot of time researching and asking questions about.  That's the first chip at his self confidence when he's alone in Twisted Wonderland; you worked so hard for that gift and he didn't bring it with him.  Sure, he didn't know what was happening but he knew something was off.  He should have grabbed it and kept it close…

Star gazing isn't his only hobby, he really likes cooking and experimenting with coffee.  He took up cooking because he was tired of waiting for you to come home and make food and expected it to be boring but there's something fulfilling about eating food you've made yourself he really likes.  The fact it makes him more attractive to his classmates is not something he thinks about at all, not one little bit.  You've never found him making extra food for a particular “friend” with a familiar determined smirk on his face.  “Your father used to do the same thing.”  You say it absentmindedly, the look of embarrassment you're met with is also quite similar.  “Not.  Another.  Word.”  

Money is tight, but Yutu still finds ways to participate in extracurricular activities.  He wants them on his college applications, sure, but he also wants friends, his own little group of people who won't care too much about his parent's reputation. Cooking club and drama class end up being his home base, you've got an unwilling front row seat to so much pointless highschool drama it gives you a headache.  He likes playing pickup basketball with his friends but joining the team isn't something he got a chance to do before getting isekaid.

The little bits and pieces you remember about his father make him out to be extremely normal. You remember his favorite food, that he liked cooking and playing basketball. You tell your son he takes after his father in how talented he is; Yutu is proud to be like his father, he assumes that he will get the full story from you someday. Maybe his dad died, maybe you never told him that he was going to be a father out of fear and never got a chance because you lost your memories in a tragic accident. Either way, Yutu is sure that one day he will find out who his father is and he'll be able to help you reconcile your relationship, whether it's by processing his death or reconnecting your friendship.

There's nothing particularly special about the day you remember.  He felt like trying something new with his hair and you had offered to turn his scarf into a turban, memories of fireworks sparking your hands into motion while Yutu tells you about what his teacher wants the school play to be this year.

“Careful!”  Yutu whines as you pull his hair through the cloth.  

“I am being very careful.” You laugh, the look on Yutu's face is familiar. Just like... “Jamil bought this for me, you know.”

“Jamil?” Yutu has never heard that name before, but he can tell it's important. He's never heard you sound so tender before.

“I think we were joking about push presents and he was offended thinking he had to wait until you were born to get me something nice.”  There was meant to be a matching piece of jewelry with Yutu's birthstone he thought you didn't know about, but then…  how could you have forgotten that?  You were going to make fun of him for how sloppy Yutu's birth was making him.  He was losing his touch, the old Jamil never would have been so obvious with a surprise.

“Is that such a bad thing?  You're giving me a gift.” Jamil is looking up at you confused, but it's not Jamil, it's your son. Your little light who- "You look so much like him." Your hand shakes, the world around you fades to black and Yutu begins to scramble.

~~~~

When Yutu opens his eyes he's in a dark room in front of a mirror with a mask hovering in a sea of green flame, there is noise buzzing around him that must be conversation, but try as he might he can't reign himself back into focus. You are still, eyes glassy and unresponsive to his calls. There is a man shaking him, trying to pull him to his feet as he calls for... the word he uses is healer and that allows Yutu to settle himself. "... a healer and take Yuu to the hospital wing immediately!" The Headmage snaps and a woman with brown hair immediately bolts to obey. The person next to her reaches out, but does not follow; the boy's presence is throwing cold water over a particular part of the crowd they would be wise to keep watch over. That isn't the right word so Yutu must be dreaming, he gives the man in the fur coat his attention and obeys, stepping forward to allow the mirror to judge his soul.

"Scarabia." If Yutu was not so convinced he was dreaming he would notice the way the person who approaches him looks, the meaning behind the fur coat's insistence he stay put and wait for him in the mirror chamber. But he does not. So when that person extends their hand, welcomes him to Scarabia and asks him to follow he thinks nothing of it. This is all a bad dream, you will shake him awake and tell him more about Jamil.

Not that he really needs to wait.

The first hit is a slap, the second is a basic fire spell but he doesn't know that when it sears his skin. He doesn't even know why these students are so angry, doesn't recognize his own last name he just thinks the word Viper is being used as an insult. When smoke begins to surround him he assumes the other students have decided to stop toying with him. He's going to die. He just found out his father's name, magic is real, other worlds are real, you are dead. You are dead and there's a foul smelling smoke around him; he's never really thought about what it would be like to die but Yutu finds himself surprisingly calm. "We'll be together soon, [parent]... father are you waiting too?"

"I would hate to waste a necklace on the likes of you." An authoritative voice cuts through the smoke, Yutu recognizes this person as his attackers scatter. The strange one who tried to stop the woman who ran off after the man in the fur coat spoke. They are wearing a lot of jewelry, necklaces and bracelets with strange symbols that seem to thrum with power in a way that sends a shiver down his spine. A rueful smile crosses their lips for a brief second. "Not that it would be a waste of course." Their focus turns to the cause of the smoke, a kerchief they give one more good shake before tucking it back into a pouch with even more strange necklaces wrapped around it.

"Where am I?" Yutu sounds so small, he curses himself silently for it but how else is he supposed to feel when the mysterious stranger looks at him with so much pity?

"Exactly where you belong." They say with authority, as if they are attempting to shut out any doubts before they can form. "But, as much as it shames me to suggest it, that might not be the safest place for you right now."

Misbah is how this person introduces themselves. Their friend, who is beyond stressed to see Yutu so disheveled and insists on healing him before allowing him to see you, is named Sehrish. Explanations can wait until Yutu has had time to say his goodbyes, but the look the older students exchange when you ask them to make sure your son isn't treated like Jamil once was tells him there must be a lot of them. Of the three adults, no one agrees how to give him those explanations either. The only thing they do agree on is that it is unsafe for him to be in Scarabia right now, but there won't be a problem with Ramshackle Dorm even if it's name suggests to Yutu that there really probably should be.

Crewel takes him there, explaining along the way who he is and what he was to you; a professor turned reluctant mentor who cared very deeply about Yuu and Jamil's future. He's reluctant to think of himself as a grandfather, he's just not that old he insists and Yutu laughs just the little bit, but if Yutu has questions about Yuu and your time at the school he is more than welcome to ask. On his father he doesn't say much, simply that he is dead. Murdered actually, but the use of that word is complicated by the circumstances of it so Crewel does not suggest Yutu speak of his family to anyone other than Misbah and Sehrish. Yutu learns, later much later, that Crewel didn't wish to traumatize him further. That he wished to take his time in explaining things. A good idea, but no one that realistically was going to work.

Ramshackle Dorm is unlike the other dormitories at NRC, all the students save him are magicless exactly like his parent. They all know a lot about his parent too, much to his surprise you are something of an idol to these people. None of them mind that he can use magic, it's just neat to be able to talk about the magicless prefect with someone who also thinks they're super cool; some of them have family or family friends that went to NRC while you were here and saw how you handled the overblots, others learned of you when they came here as refugees and were offered a place in the program. "Ramshackle is for misfits and outcasts!" A particularly messy third year proudly tells him when he asks him why they don't mind. Yutu doesn't really know how to feel about that. He never manages to figure it out.

Sehrish is a graduate student and Misbah is a fourth year, which as Misbah explains to him means they spend most of their time "in the field." They wished to say everything from the start, Sehrish wanted to explain herself and her family but did not think herself qualified to say anything more. Was uncertain of how her story would make him feel, afraid of it. The Scalding Sands is their primary focus, that would have been his homeland too had Yuu not been disappeared. Currently it is under the rule of a phantom of the Sorcerer of the Sands, one of the Great Seven Yutu will learn about as his classes progress. Misbah does not hesitate to tell him that this phantom once possessed his father when he was a student, and it is believed that this time it is possessing his corpse. It's a thought that sickens Yutu, how could this have happened? And why?

The why is explained to him in parts. Sehrish starts with the history of the Al-Asims, of the city they helped to build and the relationship between her family and his. She describes his father's burning resentment of his station matter-of-factly. His father was a servant from a well liked and respected family, but that reputation came at a cost. The respect was not for him or his talents, it was for how well he served his master and it drove him mad. The desire for freedom and recognition transformed into a phantom, his parent had fought against it and seen it defeated but somehow it had returned to rule over the Scalding Sands.

Overblotting is something Yutu thinks he has begun to understand, his professors have focused on it heavily so he knows what a phantom is. He's even seen a few small ones, but a phantom large enough to rule over a kingdom resembling one of the Great Seven is... frightening. The other students are all more or less aware of their existence and Sehrish takes the rest of her time to explain where and who the other Phantoms used to be. "We don't know why this happened." But people have theories. There is a timeline he learns from other students whispering behind his back, how his parent disappeared and then suddenly Kalim Al-Asim was murdered.

The living Al-Asims aren't at NRC, there is a rival school across the Island where they chose to stay. They don't speak to Sehrish, the only people he can speak to with any level of authority are the one or two older servants who worked with his grandparents. They speak fondly of the Viper family, though of Jamil they offer little specifics. Murder is again the word used for what happened to him, quietly after looking over their shoulder. Yutu had an Aunt named Najma. She was lively, talked about Jamil's business and constantly made fun of him while being proud of his accomplishments. The Vipers were an honorable family. They didn't want trouble. Did not want to rock the boat. But his father must have otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to overblot...

Yutu wasn't quiet before Twisted Wonderland. He thought of himself as outgoing, you would be so sad to see how small his friend circle has gotten. As time passes, as he fights smaller phantoms, ventures into the Queendom on his first real mission, as he looks in the mirror and realizes he has scars now. His scarf has protective sygils embroidered by Misbah to repair the holes, he's met a merman with pointed teeth who mixed him a drink and told him a story about his father that made him sound... human in a way that scared him out of asking for more.

Yutu has seen what his father became, looked a rotting corpse into what remained of it's eyes and listened to it try to speak with a windpipe welded together by ink. The lich sorcerer of the sands is his father. Yutu has spent enough time listening to his Ramshackle dormmates explain their medical studies to see he died young; there are traces of poisons in the hairs he returns to Idia that make even him shudder. He will never get the full story, never get more from his classmates or the Al Asim representative he meets when returning Kalim's body about how this happened. Just that it was deserved, that none of this would have happened if Jamil had known his place and never obtained his freedom. That isn't something Yutu can bring himself to agree with. His father had every right to want the same say in his life that you had worked so hard to give him, and you...

If you asked Yutu when he started feeling like he did not deserve to exist, he wouldn't be able to give you a specific answer. He certainly never felt like he didn't belong in your world, the general sense of disbelonging he felt he always attributed to his ignorance of his father's identity. But that was a fixable problem, he so firmly believed he would one day get to meet his dad and other family and then all those burning cultural questions would be patched up. But Twisted Wonderland was another matter entirely, the harsh welcome made him feel unwanted even if the Ramshackle students went out of their way to try and mitigate that. But all of that acceptance, all of that love was tied to you. The living Al Asims looked at him and saw a pest, expected him to show deference and repent for his father's misdeeds, while the older servants saw a tragedy. A child so fondly spoken of and wished for but doomed to wander in a broken world none of them expected to survive. Either way, the only message Twisted Wonderland had to offer him was one of rejection. Whenever he made up his mind, by the time he made it to the past and was settled into your version of Ramshackle Dorm he was determined to keep you from making the mistake of staying with his father.

Part 2

[fanfic-obsessed]

Fundemental Cultural Misunderstanding

Can I just say that there is so much humor potential in Star as far as cultural misunderstandings go. 

Try this AU on for size. 

-Note:Though it is not necessary for this idea, it is important to me for you to know that in this world Anakin did not slaughter the Tuskens. He reached Shimi in time to save her and his focus was getting her to safety. Thus his relationship with Padme is much healthier.-

Anakin on a fundamental, and somewhat deliberate, level misunderstands some parts of Jedi culture. He believes that Jedi cannot get married.  In this world, this is not true.  

Marriage in this Jedi culture includes a marriage bond between all parties that, if not set up correctly, can do a fair amount of damage (and even when set up correctly doesn’t provide more than a sense of the other person's physical condition and emotions; rarely bonded might be compatible enough that that they can track each other through the bond). This is particularly true if one of the parties is not Force sensitive, or one of the parties is particularly Force Sensitive. So there is a lot of pomp and ceremony around getting married in the Jedi tradition to make sure the bond is correctly set up. Also consent is such a large portion of Jedi culture, so extra pains are taken to make sure non force sensitives understand what such a bond might mean…to the point where it freaks out most non force sensitives.  This all culminates in, by the time of the prequels, most Jedi just don’t get married.

-It should also be noted that marriage as a legal institution and marriage as a cultural institution are actually two very different things, though they are often conflated. Marriage as a legal institution means absolutely nothing to Jedi, and in fact many cultures, because the rights granted by the legal institution of marriage either don’t apply to Jedi or are covered by other Jedi related laws.-

This is also misunderstood by the Galaxy at large.  Also, because of this misunderstanding most cultures do not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, sure it might come up organically but no one thinks that this is a cultural norm that the Jedi need to know. Which means as much as the Galaxy misunderstands the Jedi’s marriage customs, the Jedi misunderstand most other cultures' marriage customs as well.  In fact the Jedi, through generations of a benign misunderstanding, believe that most cultures will not discuss their marriage customs with Jedi, so all they can go on is their own observations. 

Picture if you will, little padawans vibrating their way into the Archives, up to the nearest archivist, who drops everything because the little Padawan wants to report that they ATTENDED A WEDDING. 

This leads to the archives being chock full of conflicting information about the various marriage customs throughout the galaxy, because anything that happens at a wedding now becomes a TRADITION of that planet, even things might be just a preference of the people marrying, or even a happenstance. The Jedi have all collectively agreed that they are just gonna roll with it, no matter how strange the custom or if it contradicts anything else (It is not like they can get information directly from the source after all).

Now when Anakin got married to Padme, he thought that Jedi cannot marry.  He thinks that his elopement would have to be a secret. He does not realize that he broadcasted his joy at marrying Padme to every Force Sensitive in the galaxy (no seriously, there are Force Sensitives on planets that don’t even have space flight yet, on the other side of the galaxy that felt an abrupt and incomprehensible wave of utter joy-some of those were physiologically incapable of feeling joy like near humans and had to lay down for a while). Also, not that he realized it, the part of his Force Signature (which Jedi are taught in the creche how to read) that deals with identity flashed with the equivalent neon lighted dashboard in Times Square that he was ‘Mr. Padme Naberrie’ from that point forward. 

So when Anakin leaves on a mission, unmarried, and comes back very married, but clearly hiding it, it is quickly noticed. But no one thinks that it is Anakin who does not trust them. Of course not, he is family. They decide that this must be some heretofore unknown Naboo marriage TRADITION, elopement followed by hiding the marriage. 

No one, not a single jedi in 10,000, thought to ask Anakin directly. 

Several Archivists promptly write some very well written papers on this tradition, and how it fits into their other knowledge, basically filling in the gaps to create a tradition out of whole cloth (even though they are acting in earnest). 

The war still starts, with all that entrails. But every Jedi knows about Anakin’s ‘secret’ marriage. The little ones all giggle about it. Most are eagerly waiting for the tradition of hiding to be complete, because surely ‘The Man Without Fear’ and his wife would also want to marry in the Jedi tradition.  There was so little to be excited about these days that everyone bought into this notion, even those that had long decided they would not go through the process of the Jedi Marriage. 

The children in the creche insist on making decorations for the eventual Jedi Wedding.  In fact there were multiple sets of decorations, depending on where the happy couple wanted the ceremony performed. Just rooms and rooms of decorations and drawings and artwork of all kinds. 

The High Council, including Obi wan, started researching to make sure they knew all the steps and traditions for the Wedding backwards and forwards whenever they had the chance. The last time a Jedi Wedding had been performed was 200 years earlier and enough had happened since that even those who were alive during that time were a bit fuzzy on the details.  They wanted to be ready to support Anakin and Padme in any way possible.  Padme’s biometrics are quietly added to the Temple’s banks; ready to be activated as soon as the couple is ready. A plan is put together so that Padme can be quickly evacuated if there was an active threat against Anakin specifically, or Jedi adjacent beings in general. 

And the Archivists are practically having duels to see who would get to speak to the happy couple once the period of hiding is done. There is hope throughout the archives that maybe, if they ask really nicely, Padme would be willing to answer a few questions on Naboo marriage traditions (All the Archivists want to learn so badly, all they want to do is be able to learn. Can they please learn).

Perhaps if it had gone on much longer someone would have cottoned on to how stressed this secret was making Anakin. Maybe not.  Perhaps this world still could have ended in unimaginable tragedy. 

Perhaps in another world like this. In this world, we look to humor instead of horror. 

A little over a year into the war several of the youngling clans, ages ranging from about 4-6, got to go on a tour of the Senate.  One of the younglings (Age 4, species was Sabetue and was genderless) got separated and couldn’t find a clone guard or anyone they recognized. They were wandering and scared, but somehow made it up to the level where Padme’s office is. And the Youngling recognized Padme’s Force signature as Master Skywalker’s wife, so they knew they would be safe with her.  

So now Padme has a small Jedi child in her office. Thankfully she was not in a meeting. She manages to get a hold of the Guard, who send up two of creche masters, who had been beside themselves with worry.  While in her office the child said things that made it clear that the child knew about Padme’s marriage to Anakin and how they couldn’t wait to see how pretty she would be in the Jedi Wedding.  One of the Crechemasters very gently reminded the child that Anakin and Padme might decide not to get married in the Jedi Tradition, that it had to be their choice and followed up with:

“And if we forced them��”

The child piped back with a solemn “we would be meanies”

One of the creche masters brought the child back down to the group while the other remained behind. First to thank Padme for finding their lost child. Then also to apologize for the child breaking the Hiding Tradition, expressing a hope that this would not have any negative impact on Padme’s marriage. 

The Crechmaster seemed so proud at saying ‘Hiding Tradition’ that Padme did not have the heart to tell them that she had no idea what they were talking about (they are very proud of remembering what the Archivists were calling this tradition).  They continue to have a brief conversation where Padme learned a number of things:

The Jedi, every single one of them, knew about Padme’s marriage.

They are all, every single one of them, actively supportive instead of the at best disapproving she thought they would be.

The Jedi somehow believe that Padme and Anakin are hiding their marriage over a Naboo Tradition

There are rooms full of crafts created specifically to decorate for her wedding in the Jedi Tradition created by hordes of earnest younglings. 

The Jedi are very into consent. 

Anakin is not due back on Coruscant for another week, and during that week Padme made discrete inquiries (oddly enough these are actually discrete) that told her nothing important about what was going on and driving her to distraction. So Anakin comes back to Padme nearly screaming at him ‘Why do the Jedi think we are hiding our marriage over a Naboo tradition?’

Anakin very much does not know but suggests that they ask the Chancellor (Anakin has very much been conditioned by the Chancellor to turn to him first in any instance of confusion).

Padme stares at him for a moment, tells him that is a stupid idea and to call Obi Wan.

Anakin does not want to call Obi Wan. He does not want to tell Obi Wan about their marriage and get in trouble. 

Padme stares at him with the dead eyes of someone dealing with too much ridiculous information at once, then says ‘Call Kenobi’.

Anakin obeys. 

Obi Wan comes over, they all sit down and Padme very calmly tells Obi Wan that she and Anakin are married. Obi Wan immediately begins radiating blinding excitement.  He congratulates them and starts to ask about having a Jedi wedding before deflating again and asking if not pretending he was surprised would ruin anything. He offers to go out and they can do it again, he can pretend to be shocked. 

Padme reassures him. Anakin starts to express his surprised (in a way that would have made it really clear about why he was hiding his marriage) but Padme quickly interrupts him, asking about Jedi Wedding traditions and lets Obi Wan ramble really happily about the research that the High Council had been doing to make sure they can recreate those traditions if Padme and Anakin want.

Obi Wan leaves with a promise that Padme and Anakin would come to speak with the High Council to make sure all the legalities (making sure everything is set up so that Padme can come and go as she pleases at the temple, and have a login to access the Archives, and would it be possible for her to come in for a baseline check up so that medical their records are up to date) are taken care of. As soon he is gone Padme grabs Anakin by the collar and goes ‘we can never tell them’

Anakin goes ‘what?’ 

‘We can never tell the Jedi why we were hiding our marriage. I’ll contact my parents as soon as it is morning on Naboo. They can back us up. We can say it is an old family tradition to hide the marriage for the first year. It isn’t used much, but after being in the public eye and with the War I was feeling superstitious, ok?’

Anakin goes ‘What, Why?’

Padme shakes at the arm in her hand, ‘telling the other Jedi that you didn’t trust them with your marriage would break their hearts. Do you want to be the reason small children are crying?’

Anakin looked far too considering for Padme's piece of mind, and what little sanity she had left. 

‘Let me put it this way, do you want to be what finally break’s Obi wan’s heart? That man was vibrating with excitement to celebrate our wedding so hard I could feel in the Force.’

Anakin deflated, ‘Oh. No.’

Padme’s parents laugh their ass off that she needs to create a long held family tradition because she doesn’t want to admit to the Jedi that she had thought they would react badly to her marriage.  They agree to do it. 

<Somehow this does derail Palpatine’s plans. Personally I want it to be in a way that leaves people unaware that he is a Sith, so for the rest of his life he needs to maintain the kindly old grandpa look and suffer for it- maybe something that means he has to actually live a clean life; no more crime or torturing for him.>

Twenty four years later Obi Wan helps Leia Naberrie meet up with Han Solo in order to Elope in the long held family tradition (Bringing with them only R2 to follow the actual tradition closer than they realize). Obi Wan very carefully leaves before Han arrives, so that he can truthfully say he does not know that they eloped. 

Leia’s twin Luke does not need to elope, as he followed his Uncle Obi Wan into the Jedi (an unrelated note he also followed Obi Wan into the mindset of ‘Why Monogamy when Harems naturally occur’-From that day the war ends Obi Wan has no less than three clones with him at all times; he also appears to have a lover, a friend, or an antagonist that he has weirdly sexual dialogue with on every planet he visits. Or Hondo Ohnaka, who has a category all his own. The years that Boba Fett comes to the holiday meals as one of Luke’s plus 6’s-He couldn't choose just one and no one would think of making him- are among the most awkward of most of their lives.)

[regular-gnome]

I adore your Archivists and the lore you make for them and their personalities and relationships between each other and Collector! You don't paint them as Good but misunderstood or cartoonishly evil.

They are god-like entities and their morality system and values are way to different for mortals to easily relate and understand. And good luck for them to not grow up with an issue or two and then proceed to raise a young collector with no problems =3

Also a question if you don't mind👉👈(sorry if you already answered it, my memory is bad TT) So all five of them are collectors(and they are the only ones of their kind), the siblings have a different name for their group why? And our Collector's name is the same as species or will he have something his own later like others when he is older?

The empty, uncaring void filled with extinction and destruction is not a place where kids grow happily without any lasting issues and from a mortal point of view - a weird perception of good but they are trying

I don't think anyone has asked about this one yet! Their names are related to their identity and that connects to their history; they don't really use individual ones, but rather what describes who they are.

I've put the reasoning and my stab at the lore under the cut since I thought it might be a bit long and not everyone into it (and I just figured out how to add the read more cut so im gonna use it)

They are not the only ones in existence; they are just in this part of the galaxy we see. In the beginning, when the universe wasn't as expanded, the Children of the Stars were closer to each other, exploring the young galaxy together and living among other living creatures - mortals.

After the extinction event that left the children alone on the barren world, they decided not to let it ever happen again. They began collecting life from the surroundings and spread it to uninhabited systems, later establishing the first archive to help with it. Thats when they started call each others collectors, and after creating archive those collectors connected to it that cared for and used it were archivists. It didn't go fantastic, they were young figuring things out on the way, the lessons they learned got contained in the Guidebook everyone took. At this point, they also realized that everything they were doing was not enough. The galaxy was too vast, with too many worlds facing their ends too far apart. They separated making own archives, now too far away to ever really meet and find each other.

On how it realates to names. Collie is a kid, they are a collector so The Collector, they live around the archive but it's not their responsibility at this point -it's The Archivists. As Collector grows up and becomes an Archivist they can take a specific set of tasks and be associated with them taking on a title. However, this also means that titles can change.

The first sibling in the story, after establishing their archive, was just named The Archivist. When another collector grew up to help, they divided roles, with Curator handling organization inside the archive and Naturalist handling "ground work". Later, the tasks of the Naturalists were divided, now becoming Anatomist and dealing with the living environment and Architects handling the unliving aspects . Following Archivist became The Wayfarer, responsible for keeping track of every collected place and noting any changes they undergo. They scout out planets that are to be added to the archive.

I'm not certain what Collie would want to do in the future. I think they might be inclined towards tasks related to being around mortals as they are pretty social, so they could probably take on some responsibilities from Anatomist and Wayfarer. But, I can't say for sure what title they might take

And here's a fun little aspect: the universe didn't stop expanding. The places their archive reaches keep getting further away and more advanced systems, so planets that are more than basic fauna and flora are more prone to collapsing. At some point, probably when Collie is an Archivist, the archive might have to split, and the names will shift again

[lollytea]

Okay I just wanna dump a few of my headcanons, if you would be so kind as to allow that. Basically

The first thing I'm gonna get into is how witches came to exist in the Demon Realm in the first place. It's implied that every living thing on the Boiling Isles grew from the Titan corpse's residual magic like some kind of fungus. But I personally believe that witches themselves were originally an invasive species that eventually became one with the Isles over a period of time.

I think witches are too biologically similar to humans for it to be a coincidence. Obviously, there are significant changes. The bile sac, the ears, the fangs, sometimes additional eyes, tails, all that freaky stuff. But the blueprint is the same. These two species are cut from the same cloth.

It's heavily implied through comments from Eda and Hunter that glyphs used to be more commonly practised but have become so irrelevant that most of the population doesn't know anything about them anymore. Why? Why were glyphs so frequently used in the first place if all witches were born with a biological magic generator, and why did the practise fall off so hard in later years?

Well, I think it's because the original witches were human. Over the centuries, their bodies evolved for the sake of survival, the most significant change being the bile sac, rendering glyphs obsolete and forgotten to the sands of time.

I don't think humans were ever supposed to be a part of the Isles. But accidents happen.

Who's to say HOW they ended up there. The strongest theory is that during the war between the archivists and the titans, the latter shed puddles of blood, which resulted in hundreds of portals opening up that humans from all over the world ended up stumbling into.

The Boiling Isles originally developed as an anarchist society because its first settlers had to disregard the rules and laws they knew from their old life in order to co-exist with each other. Because they were all from different cultures and they functioned and perceived morals differently. A lot of them couldn't even communicate with each other because of language barriers. Plus, the Boiling Isles was dangerous and chaotic, and they had to adapt to that.

The unity between these people was crucial to their survival. They couldn't afford to be divisive and create bigotry in this new world they were inhabiting. A strict enforcement of authority is a slippery slope to civil war. They had to put the rules of the Human Realm aside and agree to operate under new rules.

Ultimately, bits and pieces of the developing Human Realm spilling into the Boiling Isles over the centuries along with Belos' influence was what caused that way of life to gradually deteriorate. Aka the introduction of cops and commerce etc.

I feel like all the language barriers that originally existed resulted in a new language being developed to make better connections with each other. I've been calling it Witchtongue but somebody else could probably come up with something more original. But also a huge chunk of the population spoke primarily English or at least spoke it as a second language (I know English is the language of trade but I'm not entirely sure if that was the case during this time period)

So, these were the two most common languages of the Isles that co-existed in the savage ages. Different communities spoke either one or the other casually, but everyone at least had a basic understanding of both

Now the second thing I'm going to talk about is the knowledge of royal titles in the Boiling Isles, implying that these are things that exist here. (Darius calling Hunter a Prince, Odalia calling Amity a Princess, things like Grom Queens and Kings etc.) This is strange considering that as far as we know their only experience with a monarch is Emperor Belos. Unless of course, there are others elsewhere. Which is the next thing I'm gonna talk about.

I think the gradual eradication of witch culture was intentional on Belos' part, because their principles made it a lot more difficult for him to seize control and execute his genocide plan.

He couldn't get rid of it entirely. That was too difficult. But he could contain it. And he knew how.

By this point in Belos' time in the Boiling Isles, he had noticed that the occasional book or item dripping in from the Human Realm could significantly change the way things operated. They adapted to money rather than trading. It wasn't even Belos that introduced that. Human Realm influence was a powerful thing.

He understood exactly how he could successfully put a stopper in the spread of Boiling Isles history and language so it wasn't as commonly known as it was.

He hand selected a small community of witches who were passionate about preserving history. And him being "Lord Belos" at the time, he had the power to grant them power too. He gave them titles (like Lord, Lady, Prince, Princess etc.) and he convinced them that they were special. That the Titan told them so. Descendents of the first witches of the savage ages who founded their rich, beautiful culture. They are so much purer and more attuned with the land than all these other modern witches who are letting their culture slip away. Giving them this massive superiority complex, basically.

And then these people have children. And their children have children. And the centuries go on. And now they're a large community of "royal families" living up in manors on the Knee, sending their children to St. Epiderm as it's the only school that teaches witchtongue. It's the only school that teaches anything worth knowing about the culture of the Isles. Because these families are the ones funding that school. And it's for their kind and their kind alone

Prehistoric Boiling Isles culture is in this weird stage where it's both erased AND gatekeeped. And it's different types of rich people doing both of them

I'm thinking of those old money, wealthy witch societies. Fluent in the language, have access to so much of the history, keep ancient artefacts. They're probably the type to host like fancy balls and festivals celebrating their culture. All while locking out the rest of the Isles who weren't born into these rich families, so are basically dirt in their eyes.

There was these ancient rules formed by the first settlers. Most of it is basic decency like "Share what you own with your family and friends." That rule was followed because of maintaining a sense of community. It was about helping each other out. Because there were not A LOT of settlers.

However, these old money families have twisted the meaning of that statement. They hoard their wealth, but they share it with each other. They're a community themselves, and they DO look out for each other. So they consider it blasphemy to share with anyone else.

MEANWHILE there's the direct opposite of this in the Blight family. I imagine that neither Alador or Odalia were born into money. Odalia is just a relentless capitalist. However the concept of capitalism is completely against all the rules the settlers established. It's parasitic and predatory. It is COMPLETELY influenced by techniques and practises done in the Human Realm.

Capitalism has no business in the Boiling Isles. But Odalia does not give a fuck. It DOES involve getting lower class witches involved in order for it to work. It's a machine. It need thousands of people involved in order to function. Odalia made her money by stepping over other people and leeching everything out of them. In doing so, she's scrubbing Boiling Isles culture away.

Basically I feel like the old wealthy communities would look down on the Blights. They disagree with how they make their money. It goes against the morals of the Isles. Meanwhile they're also shitty horrible people but in the opposite way.

It's a cycle of rich people being shitty

[nasa-is-shaking]

Happy Thursday everyone, I know there's no ep this week so I'm gonna take the opportunity to share my theory with the class.

My friend and I have been calling it the "fear smoothie" theory, and I believe that our encounters with fears consist of two or more entities working as one to create even more terrifying and horrific instances.

So during TMA we kinda caught on to the fact that each of the fears has a handful of signature tropes associated with them! (think manikins or doors, that kind of thing. Just stuff that gets the audience to catch onto who might be behind a statement) Well as I've been listening to TMAGP I've been trying to find those same tropes and I noticed something interesting. (and this is gonna be a bit long but bear with me)

In each of the eps so far I have picked up tropes from two or more of the fears working in tandem to create even more horrific situations!

How did this happen? Good question I have three equally plausible situations on why the entities are doing this.

Number 1: During the aftermath of the eyepocalypse the fears were smushed even closer together than they had been previously been, when they were forced through the hole in the universe. Therefore they are now so intrinsically close that they physically cannot work separately.

Number 2: This is web bullshit, most of the fears aren't really too conscious besides "feed" so it makes sense if the web is trying to relive what it was like in the eyepocalypse.

Number 3: The fears remember how wonderful it was when the world went wrong. They are working together because they liked it. it made them realize that their teamwork was the best way to get the most fear and by working together they are hoping to create another "Archivist" (someone touched by all of the fears) to put them back to their full power. What's the best way to do that? Make 100 avatars touched by at least 2 fears each and make them race!

Here is my current list of eps and what I think the smoothies are for each:

EP 1 First Shift ~ Eye + Web

EP 2 Making Adjustments ~ Flesh + Desolation

EP 3 Putting Down Roots ~ Corruption + Spiral

EP 4 Taking Notes ~ Slaughter + Flesh

EP 5 Personal Screening ~ Web + Stranger

EP 6 Introductions ~ Flesh + Spiral

EP 7 Give and Take ~ Stranger + Buried

EP8 Running on Empty ~ Spiral + Lonely (+ some elements of the Vast and the Flesh but not enough to officially make the board)

EP 9 Rolling With It ~ Hunt + End

EP 10 Saturday Night ~ Hunt + Stranger

Anywho! Lemme know if you have any ideas for future eps as well as if you disagree with one of my points and think a different fear would fit better!!

[ruumirmir]

𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘛𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴

Part I Part II

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - Haha what if I pretended my shamelessly OCfied male reader was a character :))) Here's to me doing everything possible to build up my "reader" lore. Everything except actually drawing and naming him 😭 If you're curious about previous posts regarding my mans, you could skim over These!! Me when writing this: im gonna make up SO MUCH BULLSHIT about snezhnaya and the other harbingers.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 : ENG - Stephen Fu (Noe Archiviste from Vanitas no Carte) JP - Kento Ito (Dan Heng from Honkai Star Rail)

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 : October 19 (Libra)

𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Northland Bank of the Fatui

𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Hydro

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Cygnus Venatici (The Hunting Swan)

A senior branch manager of Snezhnaya’s Northland bank. As a fatuus, he is formally well-known as the Venator Dux, who mans the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange founded by the Ninth Harbinger. He hunts in pursuit of the Tsar's vision, but his loyalties are far removed from her.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦-𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 Ah, the renowned traveller, in the flesh. A visitor to each of the seven nations, while your reputation has run across the continent twice over. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you've heard of the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange, that'd be me who's in charge of it. I am one of the agents within Lord Regrator's primary circle of officials, so you may address me as Venator dux.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 I've been in my respective position for over a decade now, and for the last four years, have come across choice tales surrounding your name. A big fan of your work, really! Lord Regrator has had his interest piqued for a while now... so for the sake of civilized peace and alliance, let's get along... shall we? Try not to cause any trouble and I might consider putting in a good word for you.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘋𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘴 A large bulk of my work is centered around days of scrawling pen over paper... but really, one can only digest hefty documents for so long. I've had my fill for many years on end-... now, I'd prefer to partake in more physical tasks.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 I fear the new batch of rookies are growing too lax in their combat training… perhaps it was my uninspiring teaching method today. As a Venator, it simply won’t do to disappoint them. Traveller, would you help a man out and join the session today? The trainees could do with a fresh perspective on things.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

No shelter to be seen... here's to praying that you don't catch a cold. Oh don't worry about me, I seldom get sick.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 I've always wondered how the real clap of thunder would feel in comparison to a shock of electro. Unless you want to volunteer for that, watch your step.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘚𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 Eh... I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. That being said, the nights that are covered in an impossibly slow curtain of snowfall are some of the rarer times I stop to admire it.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘯 𝘐𝘴 𝘖𝘶𝘵 Finally. Some real warmth to my face. I am but a simple man, languishing like a wilted flower in the absence of our sun's blazing gaze.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 Actually... I think I might just prefer the miserable winter cold over this.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘐𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 What's with the aggressive breeze today? Does the Anemo archon have bills to pay?

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Good morning. I was about to stop by the city lake on my way to the bank and feed the local geese. You can come along if you'd like. Keep your distance from Tatiana though. She bites.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯 On a slow lazy day, I'd be waking up around noon. Fortunately, the weekend is right around the corner, so I can do just that.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Although the Northland "bank" closes to the public by evening, the building itself stays open till midnight for other classified affairs. So I may as well make the most of my break time before I'm needed again.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 Oh, I must've lost track of time. It's quite late into the night, so before I go, let me walk you back to whatever establishment you're staying at... Oh, uh- I'm... not sure I heard you correctly. You said you live... inside... a teapot...?

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘚𝘯𝘦𝘻𝘩𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 It was the very first decree of order at the hands of Lord Regrator when he came into power as a Harbinger many years ago; to inaugurate a faction dedicated to rearing the potential he painstakingly carved into the foundations of the Northland bank. It is just as the name implies. An executive body responsible for developing economic policies and providing regulation, consulting, and forecasting of socioeconomic and business development, ranging from simple roadside shops to production factories-Oh, have I lost you? Haha... don't apologize, I've seen that expression a couple times before. In simple terms: we help run the nation's cycle of mora, trade system, and citizen’s businesses.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘵 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] The title bestowed upon me, Venator Dux, signifies not just leadership but mastery over a successful hunt- or in some cases, a successful business strategy. The master hunter requires a discerning eye, a mind that can decipher the intricate patterns woven by our adversaries. Information is our ammunition, and knowledge is the silent arrow that strikes before the prey even realizes the hunt has begun.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘳𝘵𝘴 Various forms of dance and song are the lifeblood of Snezhnaya’s festivals. During fall, you’ll find multiple dance troupes and clowns passing each village, town, and city to perform. I personally look forward to the dancers.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘓𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Your little companion has stuck with you since day one? Truly? That is… a highly admirable trait, one that I will always stand by. Loyalty is not a mere pledge, it anticipates the unspoken desires of another; a commitment that transcends the superficial bonds of allegiance. I keep this ideal close to my heart... for only a single person.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 I was hesitant to use a delusion in the first place, so frankly, I’m glad to have been gifted this for whatever reason I was found worthy of. However… Lord Regrator harbours an uncanny dislike for my vision. It’s not something that has been brought up, but I can read between the lines.

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 You didn’t hear it from me, but I encourage the employees at the bank to keep a list of all the infuriating and rude customers. It’s to spice up all the sparring and combat practice sessions by naming and dressing up the dummies as people they’d like to kick- Ha!

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 This wintry climate is harsh and unsustainable for various flora and fauna. The Charmomila flower doesn’t care about any of that. They’ll grow in obnoxious places if they want to. The real deal comes from the summer butterflies that feast on its nectar. After a while their wings turn a beautiful honey-yellow, which are harvested and brewed into the sweetest and most expensive nonalcoholic beverage you’ll find around here. I enjoy a glass of one semi-regularly on work mornings.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] He will have my sincere respect, always. Lord Regrator has built his empire up from a scratch in the dirt, something impossible to do were he a lesser man. His sacrifices of blood, sweat, and tears has bled into the policies that the bank stands on today. Money breeds imbalance and power, which in turn grants freedom and recognition if you are on the right side of the coin. Regrator is a utilizing man and he guards what’s his, zealously. He will take and take until his arms sag with the weight, and uphold his promise to give out the correct equivalents because he lets his value of fair exchange lead him like a vice. For as long as he stays true to his greed, I will be the hand that reaches forward to grasp what he desires.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Lord Regrator expects a strict level of decorousness from everyone working under his name- from me to even the most forgotten grunts. It's nothing outrageous of course. You would only ever see the metaphorical boot-licking than a literal one. I find it a bit much sometimes but the public eye is nothing to scoff at. Especially to a man of his status. The Snezhnayan dvoryane make up more than a third of the Northland Bank's clientele- not to mention the stakes a couple of them have invested. And if there is anything that those feather-headed fools care about, it's posh theatrics. *Sigh* Still... I quite enjoy falling in step with Pantalone's politesse. He has a beautiful manner of speech that I've never been able to measure up to.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘎𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] …Why do I feel like you’re trying to fish for critical information...? Fine- I'll concede. It's your head on the line anyways. Lord Regrator is a big player in the system of underground businesses that connect Nathan and Snezhnaya. Technically it could be called a black market, but it’s mainly run by a small council of social elites from both nations. There are occasional hosted auctions, that my lord targets to buy out priceless artifacts from. I’m talking about lost pieces of history and endangered caged beasts over items with resell value. Now… with that being said, as long as this secret remains safe… so do you. It’s always me who’s dispatched to make sure it stays that way.

[rubykgrant]

(a little thing I wrote for a bigger fic, but I like how absolutely nonsensical Jon and Martin's "meet-cute" was, and now Jon gets to let Martin know the secret dorky side he's been hiding behind his very serious attitude~)

“If you don’t mind me being blunt?”

“By all means,” Jon encourages him.

“When exactly did you start to notice me- that is, notice that you found me attractive?”

“Oh, well… haha, um- that actually happened almost right away…” Jon’s mouth makes that flat little smirk that means he’s mildly embarrassed.

“Right away? Oh, come on…” Martin has trouble believing that.

“No, honestly. Before I really even knew you, before I convinced myself you were the bane of my existence, my very FIRST thought when I saw you was- he’s lovely,”

“You’re just trying to butter me up!” Martin argues, but feels himself blushing. Just barely.

“Hmm, ‘lovely’ was the first WORD that formed in my head. I suppose my other thoughts were less articulate,” Jon doesn’t elaborate on that (only twice had he allowed himself to gush about his early thoughts regarding Martin, which never really went away; once to Georgie, once to Daisy. Georgie had called him a sap, and Daisy had called him unhinged. He wonders what they would have both said together, if they’d had the chance to compare notes).

Martin continues to shake his head, unconvinced.

Jon thinks this over.

“Do you remember when we met?” Jon asks, leaning beside Martin at the sink; his body-language looks like somebody at a pub, about to drop what they believe to be a winner of a pick-up line.

“Yes, unfortunately. I think we BOTH made pretty strong first-impressions on each other,” Martin replies.

“Mmm, very much so. But- when you first ran up, and asked if I had seen a dog? I thought you were trying to tell me a joke,”

“You thought- what? A joke?” Martin turns to look at Jon.

“A joke. I was surprised right out of my train of thought, forgot about whatever I had been doing, forgot to keep my aloof and serious attitude as the new Head Archivist. I didn’t know what to think, and I was so taken off-guard, it made me genuinely intrigued. I was even excited to see if I could figure out the joke, be all impressive and clever. But then…” Jon trailed off, rolling his eyes.

“Then I made it clear- an actual dog was running around inside the building,” Martin finished. “Honestly Jon, what kind of joke could that have been?”

“Hmm… have you seen a dog? I was hoping somebody could help me SPOT one,” Jon answers. Martin’s jaw drops. That was indeed a terrible pun… but Jon isn’t finished. “Have you seen a dog? I CANINE find it anywhere! Have you seen a dog? I’m having a RUFF time looking on my own! Have you seen a dog? I’ve searched this place a HOUND-dred times! Have you seen a dog? This one is im-PAW-sible for me to find! Have you seen a dog? I’m worried it might be in GREAT DANE-ger! Have you seen-”

“STOP, HAHAHA, STOP- YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME!” Martin doubles-over, and slides down against the cupboards under the sink. He’s laughing so hard he’s crying, and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Terrible puns aside, my first thoughts of you were- Oh, somebody is talking to me? Oh, he’s telling me a joke? Oh, he’s lovely. Oh, I can impress this lovely man when he sees how good I am at figuring out jokes! OH, HE LET A DOG INTO THE BUILDING!”

Martin laughs again, helplessly hiding his face in his knees. Jon steps away from the sink, crouching down in front of him. Martin continues to giggle, peeking through his fingers as Jon lightly strokes his hair.

“Is that what I should have done? Won your heart with bad puns?” Martin asks.

“I’m not sure I’m much of a prize, but you certainly won my heart, regardless. The problem was ME, almost everything about you kept catching my attention, I just had my head up my own arse. I’m not good enough for you,” Jon answers. Martin finally moves his hands away from his face, catching Jon’s with his own.

“Maybe you just need to step-up and BE good enough for me?”

“I can try,” Jon says with a smile that implies he’s actually determined to do exactly that. Martin leans forward and kisses him.

[old-skyguy]

TMA fears as ASMR concepts

Disclaimer: I wrote this months ago in my notes app. This is not proofread in the *slightest*. So. It's gonna be shit. Lol. Enjoy, ig.

Also not canon compliant whatsoever so don't complain about that because I know.

-Michael Distortion: (POV: you're in the spiral) it's just 15 minutes of Michael whispering the same "baby sharchivist dododododo" tune and then him getting killed by Helen in the last minute.

-Nikola Orsinov does your skincare routine but it's just a direct parody of the Victor Van Dort does your Nails video where instead of the bts poster, the "blanket" is a black and white circus poster (see: Danny Stoker) that crumbles to ash when he puts it on. Also at the end she tries to do a "chemical peel" she found on "the internets". Michael comes in at the end and PRESIDENTIAL ALERT THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGG.

"Why are you screaming? that's very rude, you know. Especially after I talked to your BOSS for you. And that was NOT an enjoyable experience. He's such a tool >:(("

"Spill the tea, archivist" "oh sorry, did you want some? Sorry ...too bad. You can't have this :33" "WHERE ARE MY MANNERS??" *sticks pinky finger out* "there! Much better"

-Jane Prentiss' GRWM but she doesn't have any other clothes so it's just "time for the fit check!!" *Camera cuts to her dress for one (1) second* then her makeup is just dirt, dirt, and "the worms love you."

-Simon Fairchild and Michael Crew giggle with each other while huddled together and whispering/gossiping and asking "should we do it, should we do it?" "Yeah yeah let's be bad" while shushing each other while occasionally interacting with the listener for 5 minutes and then the rest of the video is just them torturing them via the ocean (them holding you underwater for 2 minutes with muffled gurgling bubble noises accompanied by underwater ocean sounds and silent panicking), throwing you into the sky at extreme velocity (sounds of air blasting your eardrums for a solid 3 minutes before an airplane hits you full force and you fall back into the ocean...which is another whole minute of falling and panicking.), and then the rest of the video is just them laughing while basically using your limp, dazed body as a kite.

-Elias Bouchard beats you with a metal pipe ASMR.

-POV: Gerard Keay breaks into your house at 2:27 AM and ransacks it looking for a LEITNER "WHERE TF IS I- oh. You're awake..Hi." before leaving through the window but he can't make himself fit through so it's just a full minute of him struggling and awkwardly laughing while apologizing over and over. All this time, he's wearing so much eyeliner, he looks like Jeff the Killer. You point this out and he just goes "Oh! Thank you! :D"

-"Buried Alive ASMR: You Get Buried Alive. You are getting buried alive. Someone is burying you. Alive. It is peaceful." (Unnecessarily long, redundant title for what's just screaming that gets slowly muffled as the video goes on and more dirt is piled on top of you before you start to sound content and just. Go to sleep. At that point. Snoring.)

-The Vase eats your boyfriend in the other room. It's just sounds of porcelain and snoring and fleshy eating sounds with ear eating but it slowly progresses to sounds that make less and less sense until it's just the skeleton sound effects from Minecraft.

-POV spiders crawl all over you. They have covered your door in spiderwebs. You fall asleep crying but wake up to being choked to death via spiders crawling inside you and blocking your windpipe.

-Jared Hopworth, the Boneturner, turns your bones with sounds of squishy flesh moving around in the background. At the end, you get eaten by The Monster Pig™ and meat (lol) the body of the missing clown.

-You get sacrificed to The Desolation. Sounds of distant screaming is heard in the right ear while sounds of maniacal/pained laughter is heard in the left. Fire crackles throughout the woods.

-You are getting chased by something. You get stalked with a lot of tension at the beginning; sticks cracking, creepy giggling, devious sounds all around. Your breathing is uneasy, but then the sounds stop and you breathe a sigh of relief and go back to stoking your campfire. Something growls and finally says "evening" and starts counting down. From 5. You bolt away from your campsite downhill for 2 minutes breathing heavily and fast before you trip on a stick and tumble down the mountain getting hit by trees and sent over rocks. You're about to pass out, but then you hear sniffing and growling in your direction and you get back up with an "o shit" and hide in a tree. When the monster sniffs out your hiding spot, it can't reach you. The rest of the video is slightly muffled Gangnam Style.

-POV: Peter Lukas kidnaps you, throws you in a sack, and you are put on a ship to a deserted island. This part is just sounds of boards creaking and boat rocking sounds while you fall asleep to the sounds of Peter's VERY heavy snoring. You're both startled awake by distant "land ho!" And a very gruff Peter's voice talking to himself going "I'm up I'm up ugh". Rustling of the bag is heard while he picks you up and fumbles around with you. You're getting passed around and jostled a bunch. At one point he burns his toast. Sounds of intense crunching can be heard from this along with him saying "elgh" as if disgusted. Finally, he brings you to the deck and throws you overboard onto a deserted island (your bones break and you scream "MY LEGS") before you can hear him far away saying "alright, set sail, we're done here." You manage to get out of the bag (you are wincing, the drop heavily contorted your body) and the sun shines at you while birds squack above and the coast crashes onto the shore. You slowly lose your mind.

-POV you're in the War™ and get shot in the arm and fall into a cave with one of your comerades. You guys shakily and awkwardly attempt to make small talk as you both bleed out on top of several hundreds of other corpses. The Piper is heard in the distance getting louder. When he finally gets to you after taking your friend, you fall into a bottomless pit while he's up there yelling "OH FUCKING COME ONNNN." When you get out on the other side after a minute of silence with faint sounds of "I will remember you" plays quietly through the silence. When you get out, Mike and Simon are snickering before you cough up blood when they start bursting out in laughter being like "I'm sorry I'm SO sorry really but it's JUST. SO FUNNY."

-POV: Robert Montauk is preparing to kill you, sharpening his tools and humming and whatnot before Julia comes in and asks what her dad's doing. While he's distracted, you escape the shitily tied knots and run through pitch dark while he chases you with an axe. "COME BACK. COME BACCKKK. YOU FUCKER I NEED YOU. FUCKER." You run into a church. Manuela Dominguez tries to apprehend you. It doesn't work. "Where the hell's Fairchild when you need him?"

Robert bursts through the church and gets pissed at you for making him scream curse words that his daughter could hear. Throws the axe at you. He misses. Now you have a weapon. You charge at him but fall through another pitch black hole where none other than yours truly are on the other side of it laughing their ASSES off just DYING. "OK. OK Whooooo. We SWEAR that was the last of it hahaha" "haha yeah just some guys bonding over a good laugh, you understand."

-The End. Just. An end screen.

You're dropped into Season one Jon's office and they (annoyed) take your statement. Typing sounds are heard while you frantically go "then the old guy..a-nd then the other old guy then the 2 old men and. And. Worm lady. Skin. Chemical peel." As they mumble "uh huh, yeah. Heh, heard that one before. No go on, go on." When statement ends, you leave but stay at the door to eavesdrop while they skepticize like "this man needs some antispychotics and he needs them NOW. Ugh. My job is utter buffoonery. MAHTIN."

You turn to walk away but get ambushed by Elias Bouchard. The last sound of the video is just a metal pipe hitting you over the head.

[slapjacq]

Thoughts as I listen to s1 ep6-while you were hypersleeping 2:

Ep 6:

MF WHAT-

HOW WAIT WHAT WHATS GOING ON-

KAREN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

KAREN? WIAR WHAG-

WHAG THIS FUCKING EARLY

WARREN WAIT DUDE WTF ARE YOU IN FOR

Someone needs to punch someone else this instant and, specifically, I think Warren should be able to sock this Clive dude in the face

HOLY SHIT HE DID

SO MANY QUESTIONS JESUS

HES FOING BACK TO SLEEP WHAT-

While you were hyper sleeping (whole mini series):

GORDON I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s me fr

oh Warren this poor fucker bro is not having a good time

Clive is such an asshole and I can’t help but love his antics

Also the Shining references both thematically and just from the dialogue is top tier shit to me

S2 ep1:

44 FUCKING YEARS

AND THEY WERE LESBIANS

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BOY GORDON I JUST GOT ATTACHED WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS-

I feel like I’m spiraling through space and time good fucking lord

ep 2:

Oh okay wait I think I’m getting it now

Oh Christ the dead frozen body??? Always when I’m eating never when I’m chilling

Oh god oh what the fuck are those sounds

I have zero trust in ms ma’am Bryony and she should be allowed to do everything I may not trust her but I trust the shit she does. She’s batshit, she’s insane, but by god would I follow her to the ends of the earth.

oh wait wow no she’s crazy crazy slay

Also poor Gordon just keeps going through it

And shoutout my pet hamster Warren this mf is just dying and then dying all over again isn’t he

Ep3:

Warren isn’t girlbossing his way through, he’s just fucking dissociated. Lemme tell you I cannot blame the man.

OH AND HES GONE MF LMAO

HES LOVES SNOW

MAZDA BONGO FRIENDEE LETS GO BOYS IT WAS AUBREY THE WHOLE TIME

Shoutout absurdism ig

“I think I scared the shit out of him” what is with insane women scaring the shit out of pathetic archivists in podcasts

Also the fact that all of the ladies in this show are absolutely insane is just so dear to me. And not just like feral insane, but like victor Frankenstein insane anyways shoutout Mary Shelley. Forces of nature to be dealt with but just the forces of nature are making these ladies need shoulder rubs from their girlfriends or hands on therapy (aka threatening some loser with a saw)

Ep 4:

Warren you nutjob bless you and your crazy ass

The fact that Gordon is somehow the more sane one out of two is so funny and an insane leap from what the dynamic was between these two a season ago.

YES GET THAT MF A TORTOISE

Aubrey is so fucking right though, like trauma jokes aside how truly well adjusted could one be after the mind fuck that is hyper sleep plus the absolute insanity of dreamlike memories just peppered in between it all.

Like I distinctly remember having a really long dream where I woke up like 16 different times. And everytime for some variation of time something happened between each time I woke up and like that fucked me up for a good week. That being said I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE what it must be like to have that happen to you in real life. That just sounds like such a fucking trip Jesus

CHANNEL MF 6

While you were sleeping 2:

My head is gonna explode from the exposition so far. Plus my ✨gummy✨ just started working.

Honestly from what I’ve heard from other people, those within STEM jobs are pretty incestuous with their work. Most specialty jobs are. There’s always gonna be recycling, mainly because theres never enough funding to make the world go round so I mean yeah

Bryony is THAT BITCH though

She knows it too. Good for her.

Yeah I think that’s enough for tonight.

[baronessblixen]

Been catching up on Frasier; and I've been meaning to drop in here and tell you my thoughts on each episode but I get sucked in and lose track of details because I have to watch more more more but Niles just proposed to Daphne while Frasier was clearing the room and tackling the trumpeter and carrying the chef and what it was SO, SO GOOD. (And Frasier being worried he's one year older because his parents married after his mom got pregnant; and Niles already knowing-- both excellent twists.)

Season 9's really been putting out great, great episodes. ...Y'know what? I'll look up IMDb and put some quick thoughts down here because why not???

Don Juan from Hell part 1 and 2: it's been so long since I've seen these two, but I remember really, really enjoying them.

The First Temptation of Daphne Moon-- an intriguing glimpse into Daphne's insecurities and Niles's staunch ethics. It's good to see how they handle rocky moments in their relationship, too.

The Return of Martin Crane-- LOVED THIS ONE. It's so good, every part. (His memories, and the juxtaposition of Niles-- with more hair-- in the past and Niles in the present; and how miserable they all were then and how happy they all are now; and the kiss at the end. Perfection!)

Love Stinks-- I had fun with this one. (Frasier owning up to his snobbery, lol.) Though I don't know if Roger and Roz will last (well, I know they won't; but I don't know if I truly buy into their relationship.) Poor Roz, she keeps trying.

Room Full of Heroes-- again, Marty's speech at the end grabs me. Marty's my favorite, I must own; and that's been growing as the seasons progress. (Niles is second; and I adore their scenes together.)

Bla-Z-Boy-- the CHAIR being accidentally tossed out the window, WOW. Hilarious. XDDDDDD

The Two Hundredth-- I... feel called out. XDDD But, to be fair, at least I'm an archivist, not a sycophant, by nature. ;)))))

Sharing Kirby-- Tisk Tisk Tisk, those Crane boys always shoot themselves in the foot with their greed. Kirby's sloooooowly growing on me. Kenny keeps sinking in my estimation, though-- his comedy doesn't really hit this season, for me.

Junior Agent-- BEBE!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely killer scene, every single one she's in. And her shark replacement is gonna be fun if the writers use her well (I thought the same of Kenny, at first.)

Bully for Martin-- again, loved this episode. The comedy was top-notch all the way through; and it's good to see Marty back on his feet. (and talking, but not complaining, about the challenges of a new hierarchy.)

Mother Load, Part 1 and 2-- It's fascinating to watch how much Niles has grown, and how his growth then highlights (in a good way) how much Daphne still has to go. It makes both of them human. :DDDDD And I liked how the ep. paused to give each main and side character as much depth as possible.

Juvenilia-- This was actually fun; and I love how Roz was sick and tired of Frasier's preening routine at the beginning. Those kids were sharks, man; but they're gonna get far. Kirby's growing on me.

The Proposal-- sweet all the way through. Marty and Niles were standouts, but I'm biased. ;)))) And Marty's excuse to Daphne's mom, and Daphne arriving sick, and Frasier interfering then saving the day by getting all the staff out, and Niles being interrupted from his question by Daphne honking her nose-- hiiiiiiiiiilarious.

Having so much fun! :DDDDDDDD

So happy you're still having fun watching the show! You still have two seasons to go 😁 season 9 definitely has some great episodes. I must admit though that I find Kirby pretty annoying.

Still, Bla-Z-Boy is super funny and I also really love The Return of Martin Crane. The proposal was so cute! He had planned this huge thing and in the end they didn't need any of it. Great season. Much better than season 8 😅

[pumpkinhrat]

Martin nearly drops his glass of wine in his lap when the notification pops up. A bit does splash over the lip of the glass and nearly ruins his freshly folded laundry, but he can’t bring himself to care. The message blinks at him from his phone screen: Tinder (now) – Somebody Super Liked you! Find out who.

Martin stares blankly at it until the screen starts to go dark. A Super Like. A Super Like? It’s been a week since Martin opened the account and he’s barely had 5 matches in the time since. He’s not even really sure what a Super Like is besides the fact that Tinder keeps trying to make him buy them. Did someone pay to match with him? Martin’s pulse quickens and before he can talk himself out of it, he’s typing in his passcode and pulling up the app. Immediately, a profile pops up with a bright blue star under the scowling face of–

Jonathan Sims.

Martin freezes, the skin of his neck prickling suddenly. What… He takes a furtive look around his flat, suddenly and bizarrely self conscious, as if someone’s gonna pop up beside him to judge his every reaction – ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. He takes a large swallow of wine.

Martin’s first instinct upon discovering that his boss Super Liked him on Tinder of all places is, of course, to deny, deny, deny that it’s really happening. Because, really, imagining dour, dry Jon sitting down to set up an online dating profile after scoffing at Tim’s own profile so hard that he’d set himself into a coughing fit is unbelievable. It doesn’t help Martin’s denial, however, that the third picture on Jon’s account is one of Tim and Sasha crowding beside him at a bar. It also doesn’t help that Martin remembers that night very clearly and knows for certain that after Sasha had taken that selfie of the three of them, Tim had insisted on a photo with Martin as well. (“Gotta have documentation that I actually managed to drag all three of you out at once!” he remembers Tim shouting in his ear.)

Martin clicks through the rest of the profile with a deliberate sort of detachment, though his cheeks warm against his will. It’s not his fault that every previously unseen photo of his stuffy, starched shirt boss in jeans and a flannel ignites a new wash of fire down his back. The blue Super Like star continuing to glow merrily under each photo doesn’t help, either.

Martin mindlessly scrolls down a bit further and encounters the description he’d missed while scouring Jon’s photo album. The bio reads: ‘Stressed, depressed, well dressed. Put the bi in bibliophile. Looking for someone to raise a cat with.’ Martin’s attention catches on the second line, specifically the word ‘bi’. He knows that Jon had dated at least one woman before but he never wanted to assume anything about his preferences. It’s nice to know, he supposes, as his traitorous body sends another wash of elated heat down his back.

This is bad. Very, very bad. Jon had been alluring enough when he’d been Marin’s mean, unfairly hot boss who’d occasionally dress him down in a way that made his hands tingle. Cold, strict, and gloriously, mercifully unattainable. It’s been a few years since those rocky beginnings, though. Now, Jon has settled into his gig as Head Archivist and the spiky walls of his glaringly obvious inferiority complex have disappeared entirely. He still snaps and snipes, of course, but that’s to be expected no matter how close you are to Jonathan Sims.

This, unfortunately, means that Martin’s… interest (he refuses to say ‘infatuation’ as Tim had) in Jon has taken a bit more of a realistic turn. In the past year or so, Jon has turned into something of a friend, which is incredible on its own but also has disastrous implications for Martin’s ability to maintain his self control. And this? This is bad.

The wine (a thank you gift from Jon for hosting his birthday party at his flat the year prior) sits warm and soft in Martin’s belly as his thumb hovers over the swipe right and left options. Nothing about this makes a lick of sense, but Martin’s imagination never really needs much to go on in order to find the most ridiculous course of action and convince him to act on it.

He downs the rest of his glass in one go and swipes his thumb to the right. Who needs self control?

––

“And what, exactly, do you mean by concerned?”

Sasha cringes slightly at Jon’s sharp tone but Tim just slings an arm around his neck, snatching his phone and the offending Tinder account away from him. “Oh come on Boss Man, you know we worry! We’re just looking out for you! Consider it a favor.”

“A favor.” His tone is so dry that even Tim grimaces but he quickly recovers.

“Yeah! You were just whingeing about how terrible company Sash and I make on a night out, always running off for a bit of fun and leaving you by your lonesome. We thought we’d solicit you some company!”

“Must you phrase it that way? It sounds as if you’re hiring me an escort.” Jon gripes without much bite, crossing his arms where he leans against Sasha’s desk. Tim grins at him so widely he rolls his eyes and looks away. “So, what, you want to find someone for me to interact with while the two of you go off to- to do whatever it is you do? I’m just supposed to stay behind and rendezvous with some stranger?”

“Well,” Sasha says slowly. Jon turns his imperious look on her. “We tried to encourage you to, um, rendezvous with someone at the bar when the two of us break off but you didn’t seem to like that idea either.”

Jon puffs out an exasperated little sigh that is honestly endearing as fuck and levels a flat look at Sasha. “You know perfectly well that that is not something I’m–”

“That’s not what I meant,” she cuts in quickly. “It’s perfectly possible to make friends at bars even if you’re not looking for anything else.”

“Maybe for some people,” he mutters, looking away, and Sasha’s heart squeezes much in the way that had made her start this entire endeavor. She opens her mouth to explain just this but Tim beats her to the punch.

“That’s kinda the point, Boss Man. We know you aren’t particularly comfortable having full blown conversations with strangers, so we thought this would be is a great solution! Match with a few people, see who fits the best, then you can meet the ones who you think you’d actually survive socializing with.” Jon takes a breath and Tim quickly barrels on. “Aaaand if you don’t find anyone who meets that bar, then no harm done! Just delete the app and you’ll never have to think about it again.” He gently pushes the phone across Sasha’s desk toward Jon, the app open to the ‘matches’ page.

Jon stares down at it with clear disdain before eyeing them both doubtfully. “I appreciate the effort,” he starts carefully and Sasha has to bite her tongue to resist interrupting. “But isn’t this an entirely unnecessary endeavor? It’s not as if we go out all that often, anyway. Everyone’s far too busy to agree on nights to go out, and Martin hasn’t been able to attend in months.”

“Well, y’know, that’s also kind of the point, Boss Man,” Tim says. He yanks out a chair and sits on it backward beside Sasha so they’re both looking up at Jon. He taps his phone pointedly. “We want you to get out there, mingle with other people now that Martin’s lost his weekends to his mom and Sash and I are dipping into territory you’re not as comfortable with–”

“You two do know I am capable of hearing the word sex without bursting into flame, yes?”

“–and, hey, we get it, you’re not the most social guy. But everyone needs a little bit of time with a friend or partner. We don’t want you to miss out on that because our little quartet has encountered a few scheduling conflicts.”

Jon stares at them, a look Sasha does not like filling his eyes, and his lips thin slightly. “You think I’m lonely.” He says the word with such a tone of accusation that Sasha cringes again.

“We don’t think you’re lonely,” she corrects quickly. “We just think you’d benefit from new social connections now that we’re less available.”

“And we still wanna go out,” Tim adds. “As often as we can. We just want–”

“Me to have more options than just you three, yes, I understand the premise.” He turns his attention back to Tim’s phone and gingerly pokes through the app, huffing and making more Jon Noises. Precious. After an excruciating amount of time, he heaves a gigantic sigh. “I suppose it won’t hurt to- to test it out. See if your theory holds any weight.” He sounds reluctant but Tim and Sasha share an excited glance, Sasha giving an endeared little nose scrunch at the wording. What an utterly Jon thing to say. “It has– It’s been a while since Georgie, so I believe now is as good a time as any to ‘get back out there’. I hadn’t thought there’d be anyone particularly interesting on apps like these but…” He trails off as he clicks through one of his matches’ profiles and Sasha just barely catches a glimpse of a foggy silhouette on a mountain.

“We handpicked a few people that we thought you might gel with,” she cuts in quickly, before Jon can expand on his ‘but’ and shut the whole thing down. “The one you’re looking at right now is Tim’s favorite, though I think he’s a bit boring.” Tim makes an affronted noise but Jon just hums, scrolling slowly through the profile’s long winded description.

“Yes, quite,” he says, clearly not paying any attention to what she’s saying. Tim grins at her.

‘Told ya so!’ He mouths and Sasha gives him the finger under her desk.

“Well, whaddya say, Boss?” Tim asks after another few minutes, which Jon spends entirely on Martin’s profile. “Shall I get you all logged in on your phone so you can start chatting him up? Or am I gonna lose my phone entirely to you and this ‘Martin’?” Jon looks up at Tim, surprised, then back down at the phone.

“Oh, right, yes, this is–“ He fumbles to return the phone to Tim, as if looking through it hadn’t been the entire point of the account, and pulls out his own phone. “I’ll just take over from you now, shall I? It is, ah, apparently my account, after all.”

He says the last bit with no small amount of pointed wryness but Sasha ignores their squabbling, leaning back in her chair triumphantly. Another successful mission in order to expand Jon’s little world, this one possibly the most satisfying. She glows a little with the feeling of a job well done.

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

ANON YOURE BACK, THANK YOU FOR WRITING MORE I absolutely love it 😭

[Here is the previous part] --- [next part]

UPDATE: You can read the whole story by JJanuaryRain on AO3! Go give them lots of love -> "all's fair in love & tinder"

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Hello hello again!!!! :3

I loveloveLOVE your Lucius/Viktor post!! Once again, you brighten my noggin w your thoughts (:

Umumumummmmmmmm so is there anyone else you want an excuse to yap about LOL Idkidk I just want to hear your thoughts about everyone and everything!!

Idk if you have any/many thoughts about them, but maybe we could hear about the Averys and Sinistras? Especially Edmund's unnamed fiancée !!!!

Ahhhhhh your brain is just so !!!! /Pos

- 🍃

Ahhhh I'm so glad you liked it,, it fully helped fuel my Xenophilius post!!

I think I might take this time to talk about some good old Pebill!! I saw this one tiktok a few days ago and I've been so obsessed since. Welcome to Pebill City, population ME!!!!

I am,, far too fond of giving ships fun little names so I bestow upon thee,,, ratseer lol

I specifically love these two in a band au. I'm gonna write one eventually and I'm gonna make them so happy and sappy and cute and just like the tiktok says they'll have a daughter called Rosemary. I'm just so in love with them. Peter who plays the second guitar in the band and like the occasional trumpet and sometimes he thinks it's kinda silly that he's in the band but also he's just so happy to be there. He saved all his money from his part time job to buy the most run-down Volkswagen T1 when the band started getting big enough to have to travel around for stuff and he shows up like "TADA!" all proud of himself cause he solved their problem. He meets Sybill at one of these travel gigs. They're playing at a wedding and maybe she's like the bride's sister or just a bridesmaid or something and she's wearing a really flowy dress and she's spinning around right in front of him having the time of her life and her thick curls are bouncing and you can just see Peter melt while he's on stage playing cause he misses a cord or something. And the guys notice and they insist that the has to talk to her and he's all nervous and shit but then Sybill comes to talk to him because she thinks he's really cute and they hit it off. They call at each stop they have and a few months in they go pick her up before moving onto a bigger gig and she just stays with them.

He wants to settle down at some point when Sybill ends up pregnant and he almost leaves the band but Sybill insists that she's fine travelling around with them because that's the life she loves and she wants their daughter to be born a free soul and she sees in her cards that she's supposed to be born a certain place and Peter is just like [scout's salute] "yes ma'am" and I just think they're so stinking cute vjnfgjbngjbngj

I need to figure out this band au at some point cause it's been rotting my brain lately, I just have so many long fics I wanna write I don't feel like I can start a new one now even if I want to vjfnbjgnbj

I have,,, far too many thoughts on both the Averys, the Sinistras but especially Edmund's fiancee!!!! I've been waiting for a chance to talk about her honestly,,,

Let's start with the Averys,,,,

Edmund Avery Senior, the only child of Herschel Avery and Miriam Avery, is Edmund's father, in case that wasn't clear from the name. Edmund Senior works as an archivist for the Ministry of Magic and he's got a spot in the Wizengamot along with his father Herschel. The two are not close and if you didn't know you wouldn't think they were father and son. During most of Edmund's Senior's childhood his mother was heavily sedated and he was more or less raised by the family house elf, Dotty (usually called Dot and Dorothy in muggle aus). Dot is also the house elf who helped raise Edmund Junior. Edmund Senior attended school with Tom Riddle and was sorted into Slytherin and was one of Tom's dorm mates. They were also just close friends (as close friends as Tom could have). Edmund Senior was part of the reason Tom managed to open the Chamber of Secrets as he showed him a book featuring hints of the Chambers being real. To sum Edmund Senior up he's an incredibly nerdy insecure man. He loves history and in a muggle au he collects model aeroplanes. He's got a good handful of childhood trauma, a difficult relationship with his family and most of his peers and the only thing he's really got going for him is that he's an incredibly devoted husband who's down bad for his wife. She's luckily incredibly wooed by what I can only describe as his autism rizz lmao (I hate that so much ew actually)

Edmund's mother and Edmund Senior's wife is Esther, a very attractive recovered alcoholic. Rumours fly around frequently about her being unfaithful to her husband though she could never dream of it. Most of what is known about her is fabricated, which is entirely intentional as she's hiding things about herself such as her country of birth. Esther lost her family during the Holocaust. She met Edmund while they were both in their mid-twenties and they got married a while later and eventually had their only son Edmund Avery Junior. Their son has inherited his father's looks save for his mother's hair colour and many beauty spots as well as her eating disorder.

Due to Esther's alcoholism and a slight strain on their relationship over the years due to Edmund Senior favouring his work too much, Edmund Junior had much more to do with Dot, their house elf, than what would be considered normal as she would have to step in where Esther sometimes lacked. Despite this Edmund was an incredible mummy's boy and still is, something Esther cherished immensely as she loved being both a mother and wife. He would cling to her at any given time, he'd rather have tea with her than play with other children, he'd come running to her crying at the smallest inconvenience, he was so proud of wearing fancy clothes like his father and getting a spray of his mother's perfume.

The Avery family is resembled by Barn Owls similar to how the Malfoys are represented by (albino?) peacocks. Edmund Senior gifted Esther a taxidermied rat when they first started dating, similar to how Barn Owls gift their mates prey and while others find it incredibly weird they now have a shared love for taxidermied animals and he will gift her more on their anniversaries/on Valentine's Days/etc. Edmund Senior and Esther seem like an incredibly unlikely pair to everyone else but Esther fell for him in part because he was one of the only men who could see her for her mind and her heart rather than just her looks (even if he's down bad for those too lol)

Idk where else to mention this but they're both pureblood wizards,,,

They're probably my favourite of the parents,,, which is why they're the only knights of walpurgis era characters that have their own pinterest collection for pictures,,,, I would have shared it but,,, I have used all my pictures up for one post T-T

Onto the Sinistras I have considerably less but I can fill you in a bit,,,

Aurora is the only daughter of Altair Aseel Sinistra and Nazareth Sinistra née Lubilanji. Nazareth is Sierra Leonean albeit has lived in England for her entire life. She's also a half-blood. She's one of seven siblings and when she attended Hogwarts she was sorted into Gryffindor. She is incredibly fond of cats and puzzles. During her time at Hogwarts, she was part of the Slug Club. Altair is a pureblood wizard and the second son of Aseel Najm Sinistra and Sidra Ahyam Sinistra and the younger brother of Tariq Aseel Sinistra. His family is Egyptian but they've lived in England for the past two or so generations I'm thinking?? Like his daughter, he was a Ravenclaw when he attended school and he became Prefect during his fifth year.

Taking a bit of a side step here since this ask was after all about all the Sinistras,,, Tariq marries Salma Al-Mashriq, a pureblood Hufflepuff and together they have three children; Rashid, Hisham and Samara who are all younger than Aurora (Rashid (Slytherin) and Hisham (Ravenclaw) are third and second years when Aurora is in her seventh year and Samara is not yet attending school). Salma was part of a handful of extracurricular activities such as being a School Paper Writer, a member of the Gobstones Club and the Orchestra. Tariq similarly had a lot of extracurricular activities as well. He was a Slug Club Member, Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain and Chaser and School Paper Manager.

I'm still playing around with this idea so it's going to get more polished at some point but I think Altair and Salma had a thing going on at some point but something happened,, Salma married Tariq and Altair who'd been friendly with Nazareth and already was fond of her for other reasons ended up marrying her. He was able to mostly push his feelings aside after Aurora was born. He would have loved at least one more child for him to dote on and focus on, but Aurora was not an easy child and while it not being the same obviously, they got have a cat, Moonbow, that both Altair and Nazareth love like she's their second child.

Now onto Priya,,, my beloved < 3

Edmund's fiancee is Lakshmipriya Mohanraj also known as Priya. She was born October 13, 1960, and she's the only daughter of Siddarth Mohanraj and Rajeshwariammal Mohanraj. She's got two brothers, Raja and Dhananjay, though both have sadly passed, one of them in a motorcycle accident they were both in and the other took his life about a month later.

She is a mean lesbian who doesn't quite know she's a lesbian yet. She's tired of Edmund's shit and having to deal with him and it's her mood like,, 85% of the time. Her family are all loyal Death Eaters which is part of the reason why they got engaged in the first place. The Mohanraj family was also just a nice connection and if there's one thing Edmund Senior values it's connections.

She ends up marrying Endmund Junior and after A LOT of trial and error, they have a son, Siddharth Avery and later a daughter, Esther Avery (Junior technically I suppose,, since she's named after Edmund's mother). It's very clear that Priya favours her son while Edmund somewhat hesitantly ends up favouring their daughter.

Little Siddharth thinks his dad is super cool and he thinks his dad's friend (Severus) is even cooler which Priya always finds incredibly annoying cause she cannot STAND Severus,,, like at all

Priya and Edmund have some moments of bonding together but for the most part, the two cannot stand each other. They come together to judge other people and oh boy do they do it well. They're big on their children having nice manners and not being a bother to others.

I am actually in love with Priya,, she serves so much cunt and still, she's stuck with her loser husband. She probably hoped he would get caught for being a Death Eater and get sent to Azkaban and she was so annoyed when he successfully convinced people he was under the Imperius curse,,,

This became,,, soooo long which is just becoming the norm at this point honestly lmao but I hope you enjoyed all of this!!! I'll definitely come back and talk more about both the Averys and the Sinistras cause I've got other asks about them vjfnbjgnb (at least the Sinistras I think,,, I can't remember if the Averys are in there ooop)

[the-everqueen]

002 - Cocoluce

003 - Gault

002 send me a ship - CocoLuce when or if i started shipping it: last year, initially as a knee-jerk reaction to the way fandom kept characterizing Lucienne as either asexual or a frigid lesbian out of lazy misogynoir. (like, i think there COULD be a thoughtful take on Lucienne as ace--just like i think there's a reading where she's nonbinary or agender--but the fanon never provided any context for this headcanon, and it seemed to emerge as an excuse for why Lucienne and Dream couldn't be a major ship [or indeed, to have ever had any intimacy beyond "boss and employee"], or as a reason why Lucienne would only ever appear as a cheerleader for dreamling in fics.) it felt like another instance of (white) fandom's general attitude that Black female characters are somehow inherently undesirable (and not engaged as active, desiring subjects).

but that scene where the Corinthian reappears in the Dreaming and Lucienne is there waiting? Boyd and Viv play that as LOADED with interpersonal tension. like, his mouth is RIGHT THERE, practically brushing the shell of her ear, and she doesn't flinch or react beyond that long, simmering stare. the slow lowering of her eyelashes, the flick of her gaze up? and he turns his back to her! she watches him as he leaves! it's SUCH a vibe of fraught exes, and/or rivals for Dream's attention/affection. it's palpable chemistry.

and that's another thing i find isn't afforded to Black or Brown actresses: everyone talks about how much chemistry Tom Sturridge has with his costars, and no one talks about how his costars are ALSO responding to that in their acting choices (or...they do, when it's Ferdinand Kingsley or Holbrook, aka white dudes). (addendum: there's SOME mention of Melissanthi Mahut, because she's Dream's ex-wife, but uh. no mention of Deborah Oyelade? the lover Dream condemned to Hell? hm, i wonder why...) no one gives these women their due for the work they've put into the craft! instead it's either hypersexualization ("step on me, mommy") or dismissal.

anyways. once i get an idea it then becomes "okay so how does this work." what about the characters and their dynamic would make this happen/prevent this from happening? where are the points of friction?

my thoughts: so it's god's two favorites. it's the dark mirror of humanity and the archivist of all their dreams. the masterpiece and the librarian. OBVIOUSLY they've interacted. presumably Lucienne was already around when the first Corinthian was created. what does THAT look like? god's first and most precious raven, the only one who STAYED. god's finest work, most complex creation, the one who always hungered to leave. did the Corinthian comb through the library, when the dreams weren't enough to sate his taste for humanity? also what is the line between curiosity and hunger?

what makes me happy about them: two not-human (but human appearing) beings who've been around for centuries if not millennia, who absolutely know what makes the other tick and how to cut to the core. who have a certain level of affection for humanity. who are closer to Dream than most others, and afforded privileges due to that closeness. like, i'm not sure they ever loved each other, but they love Dream, and haven't you tried to get at the person you really wanted by getting close to someone they cared about? them finding use in each other - and isn't that a cruel sort of twist, being reduced to a function in one of the most intimate relations you could have?

what makes me sad about them: i mean. it's clearly tragic. it could never be inherently happy, so long as it hinges on the absence of Dream.

...gonna skip the two fanfic questions bc i just haven't seen enough fic with them. but! i do adore quiet in the library by ao3 user starkraving.

my kinks: the eternal cry with all bhol characters: put a leash on that man!

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: i feel like my platform is "end racism in fandom spaces" and "polyamory." anyways CLEARLY they both actually love Dream.

my happily ever after for them: i do think there's a universe where lucienne/dream/corinthian as a poly V and occasional triad could be Good. maybe it's lucienne/danny/coco2. all that newness and grief. hey, isn't it a thing that people get horny at funerals? deleted Wake scene.

(from this ask list, in case anyone else wants to play)

[the-art-block]

Seeing your latest art of the nossies in the group new years picture reminded me of Wolf Mother (and her childe) as characters and now I'm DEEPLY interested in them as people and characters! I love their designs, just how much the curse affected them and am interested in how they fit into the Moonrise Nation story. (not that you have to reveal anything, of course!) Just admiring.

You're too sweet! YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🥺

These two have a lot of lore behind them (which I'm sure folks don't mind) so for the sake of brevity I'll try to keep it simple!

The Kindred population in the pre-colonial states was never that big, and it was kept in check by Kindred themselves - because the more of them that existed, the less food there'd be for the whole. These old laws regarding Kindred creation and conduct state that a Sire is responsible for their Childe for their whole unlife, and forbade any Kindred from having more than one living Childe at a time. Wolf Mother, original name lost to time, is a seven century old Nosferatu that was Embraced in the St. Lawrence River Valley for the crime of sabotaging the hunting grounds of another tribe in the locality.

Wolf Son, going by the name Jack Skinner modern-day, was Embraced 600 years ago by Wolf Mother for the crime of banditry. Probably like most Embraces, the relationship between them started out strained and unfriendly. Getting Embraced in the old tribe days was definitely a form of capital punishment and not something anyone really wanted. This of course is doubly true for an Embrace via Nosferatu, and the man that became Wolf Son took a long time to settle into his fate as a hideous living omen. When he did manage to overcome his grief and horror, he became a proper student to Wolf Mother and served alongside her in the assigned role of the Promiskeepers (The colloquial name for the Nos at the time) - which was to safeguard and dispense knowledge from both Kindred and Kine of generations gone. Things like: what to do when the seasons are uncharacteristically unfavorable, how to respond when a certain disease starts spreading, what to do with land that refuses to yield resources, etc. (Nos like Grandma Oginn also used to provide matchmaking services to her local tribes ;D) Additionally, in the old Kindred society, the Promisekeepers were tasked with keeping track of debts and contracts made between Kindred. The Nos of pre-colonial North America (at least on the East Coast) were basically your archivists and judges.

As the modern Moonrise Nation is attempting to reclaim some of the old traditions, both for Kindred and their human relations, Nosferatu who come into the faction are expected to take up this mantle of advisors and story keepers, to learn and preserve history, and be there to aid humans and other vamps alike when they're not sure what to do about a problem. Wolf Mother herself was a bit of an isolated Kindred back in her day, she roamed a huge tract of land and only encountered other undead and humans rarely. Still, she was widely known to be a neutral or friendly presence, and her child inherited the same nomadic lifestyle.

The pair would be separated when the first waves of Sabbat Kindred arrived on the continent on the crossings from Europe. They thought each other dead until very recently.

Wolf Son met with immigrant Camarilla Kindred in the 1700s and would later travel to Europe, where he would be installed as Sheriff over a Midlands Domain for several decades. Modern-day, he has come home to America, and is now serving as an Archon.

Wolf Mother spent most of the last few centuries in torpor near Lake Erie, and in the few years she's been awake again she's been singing into the night in hopes her long-lost Childe might still be around... Poor thing...

You can imagine the eventual reunion between them is gonna be super emotional. Not least of all because the Moonrise Nation is explicitly not joining the Camarilla, and seek to make themselves an independent faction.

I'm sure it's fine 🙃

[luonnon-varainen]

The last hide and seek

Just want to give a bit of depth in the Collector-Archivists relationship, in my headcanon, as they are siblings(all kinds of siblings relationships are the best relationships dynamics and I'm gonna explore them even if I don't have nearly any material on them). Pointing that they used to be actually siblings, doing siblings stuff together, spending quality or not time, expressing in any way their concern for each other, even if it wasn't always nobel and caring reasons. They are terrible creatures, but still they are older siblings so they should behave like ones and use this knowledge to achieve what they want.

I'm not fan of black and white "The archivist were just terrible jerks with lack of any emotions or bond with Collector. They just saw them as tool and leaving them for Collector was just nice and easy choice. Colly even didn't hesitate to leave them as they realized all bad shit was their fault" idea. I prefer " Their relationship is as complex as trying to imagine 4th dimension without any computer simulation - full of uphills and downhills, eldritch god's conventions and attempts to keep everthing in good shape even if the ceiling was falling on their heads. Leaving the archivists for Collector was actually a very tough and devastating choice. Meaning leaving everything they knew, understood, found safe, "caring", familiar, all their good and bad memories, childhood, stability in conclusion family which whether good or bad always was somewhere nearby and they could hide behind when there was a need. They had to choose it after realisation what they all participated in and how morally "not ok" it was, how bad they felt with themselves after discovering it and how much they didn't want to do it again ", aka. ✨Dramat✨. Black and white type of a relationship/character is cool, but for me it needs full presentation of character/relationship( like Jack Horner from Puss in boots), not only short and simplified story without even appearance of characters we talked about.

In summary and in less overly complicated way to say this I mean: I want Archivists and Collector to have actually dysfunctional siblings relationship instead of shity coworkers or strangers which were put together in a closed room and forced to cooperate.

And I have to make a "map" of types of relationship between each of "siblings of the collapsing star"-

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I really need to do something with all: my devices, my drawing program and mostly with myself because I'm loosing my patience with them and my work looks worse and worse- and there are less excuses than ever(only money)! - sorry for all the time complaining it's the trait that runs through my veins for generations and I fight to end it!

In description of the pictures are the words in tooltips, because my handwriting is a nightmare from which I can't wake up and win.