#gonna have to find a new place to make my family trees ig

[applesaucesims]

RIP plum tree app, you were a true goat

[leafbatraccoon]

these were notes on my journal till yesterday but the news that we're getting the nectar-making skill with horses i figured i'd have some fun with it yet still be loud with my opinions, so i'll reblog with updates from time to time - im reposting with the original slot texts bc i was unhappy with my sleepless decision making 👍👍 | details under the cut if u wanna know but i'm a bit of a hater fyi |

longer seasons - i don't think this will happen, if miracle mods show up i might stamp them on in a different color but from what i've found it's pretty ingrained in the game that 28 days is the longest and if modders we're going to crack it they might've done it already but when im playing on pretty long life spans i just 💔💔 50+ days seasons would be the dream, but i'd be happy with 45 👀 10 outfits per category - same as before ig, this is probably super niche but i'm not satisfied and i hate having to get into cas to change it up so much bc in my head they have a closet each and i want to mix and match pieces in a realistic way 👚 pack refreshes - tbf, they did set up an expectation for that one which for the looks of it they are done with it; there's so much to fix, dine out in general, mermaids deserve some love in comparison to the other occults, updates to the bodies of water (going in the water in windenburg would be legendary), hu just bug fixes and compatiblity here and there would be nice (more hiking ? power walks in more places? its so weird how they are restricted to ONE place) now by world refreshes - i mean that in my dreams they go back and expand the maps they give us 🗺️🗺️ im greedy and want 2 neighbourhoods for my vampires & spellcasters, a lil more space in moonwood mill, granite falls & del sol valley too why not not gonna happen so i can say wtv an extra space in mt komorebi with apartments and since we're at it in san sequoia too; will def not happen working gallery - ig that might be coming too ?? idk my gallery sucks at times like it wont find any results when there are ?? and i know there are bc if i restrict more it might come up with something?? also just wanted better mechanism for the searches, i never had issues with disturbing content showing up tho so idk i heard some simmers weren't so lucky

bigger households - having to control or monitor 8 human/humanish sims is challeging enough but because pets, because having to fake apartments, because reasons; i use mccc but this workaround brings issues in cas so yea, wishlist ✔️ snakes // lizards - this would've been appropriate to launch with horses imo and i'd love if there had been interaction/compatibility from snakes in the wild and those taller friends & other small pets - small pet options in ts4 are non existent, sorry, birds only exist in that one tree (they are probably happy about not being captive actually), bunnies are also wild (personally im fine with it but i know that its a popular pet so i'd love if it was an option), reptiles don't exist (yet) and rodents are exclusive to the slap-in-the-face-of-this-community pack... 🐁🐇🐢🦎🐍🐦🐜 faeries or other fae kin - i feel like they've hinted at it for quite a while and we've seen it show up in quizzes too?? 🧚‍♀️ so i'm hopeful for this one and hope they are just trying to make sure they properly deliver on it bc there's a lot of fantasy enthusiasts and they deserve it & woodland creatures - personally would love it if the fae pack came with woodsy world and the addition of woodland creatures at least the spiritual kind (like unicorns or a white doe which they possibly alluded to with puzzles - it made me real giddy) bonus points if it has some outdoor retreat compatibility

owning more lots - after winning the lottery or keeping up with a family for generations, sims can accumulate quite a lot of money, there's not a lot of expenses in the life of a sim tbh, travelling only costs one loading screen, gardeing makes you rich and thats ok ig but being able to own a holiday house would be welcomed, not just a business 🏘️ nectar making - when tartosa came but no nectar making i was a bit let down, imagine making or acquiring a special batch for your wedding?? it would've been lovely and appropriate for a wedding pack but ... yeah anyway it comes with the horse pack for some reason so at least it's coming, and only 3 years after juice fizzing 🥂 bands and more instruments - another thing they've hinted at in polls and i kinda wished it to come with HSY yet was not surprised it didn't; that being said we need drums and other instruments like bass and/or contrabass, just more than what we have if we're to have bands plz skating and/or surfing - these two are very different and honestly idk how the latter one would work, i just think they are popular sports we could have; at least skate boards should be easy enough to implement and a cute way for sims to drift around their closed off worlds so i have more hope for that one 🏄

hotels - even if they've been around the franchise and ts4 seems to draw all it's ideas from previous iterations i'm not confident they haven't just been replaced by rental properties but it's not the same, i'd like to be able to meet other guests vacationing on the property without having to engineer everything about it, ordering meals at hotel services and running/owning a hotel also; retirement homes - ELDER SIM LOVE IN GENERAL (canes, health issues, idk im not that old yet ..hum wills & testiments, special interactions) i feel growing together really fucked up on that one but i was not surprised bc it's ts4 and we rely on crumbs mods here and thats why some players stop buying dlc 👵☕👴 the townie refreshes - just pay some fans to do it at this point bc it's taking so long; most of them don't need to be redesigned anyway, just add hot and cold weather outfits, preferences and maybe a sneaky extra trait or lifestyle they could have developed and voilá, finish that chapter disabilities - i don't want it in the form of traits and thing it's rotten to make people to pay for it BUT i'd love to see some disability representation in this game, physical, cognitive and what not. i understand at this point it might be hard to introduce but i think it be really important to have this in the sims and ts4 is about time funerals & cemeteries - death is a part of life, this is a life sim... thats it basically, i want it, i miss it in comparison to previous games, i fake it with parks and inviting guests over, but we shouldn't have to tho seems pretty basic stuff

more and better apartments - i would like it if we saw more conjoined builds, more apartment builds, both with few floors and plenty, the option to have sims living in different floors of the same building and even having business or community lots in builds that are divided into multiple lots - ambitious ik - bonus points if they update apartments in a way you can own one or more and rent them out - i don't want to play as a landlord, i swear - i just want my sims to be allowed do simbnb while they go for a weekend in the city (which ig u cant bc of the current system/coding idk) or bringing them to more existing worlds but bc of the obstacles to that i have 0 hopes well-crafted worldly words - i see a lot of americancentric choices being made when creating the worlds, it's unrealistic for a global player base and hum.. a life sim and whenever they drop interesting worlds they are always so frigging small you have to sacrifice making a lively town, with people and businesses, if you want you're sim to live in certain environments (or use multibuilds, which is fine ig but it bothers me a bit) and they fail to utilize the common spaces of the neighbourhoods in ways simmers would love to, to bring some life into these worlds; 🌍 the worldly part of it... i am yet to see african like climates and cultures represented, asia is so wide & full of diversity and we get one japan inspired world so far, south america if confined to a destination world if you don't have mods ig (maybe it's changed by now im not sure) and europe while being represented in 3 packs so far - and one of them being the best in terms of lots per world we've had so far - 2 of them have few lots and its all very niche, so in a way i don't need to be able to point to the actual cities that inspired those worlds, it's not my priority just something that crowded and lively that draws from wider range of cultures and that mre people could recognize as close to their experience would be nice 🌏 also more islands maybe im a sulani simp new jobs & careers - i love GTW, it was the first pack i got and sure it deserved a refresh by now and i would welcome it, especially if it meant more careers, i really liked that gameplay feature; that being said i feel like we deserve more job options OR branches. y no dentist ??? i cant think of ideas right now but while playing the game and setting up townies or sims i feel limited a lot trans content fixes - yea i avoid using the in-game system for trans rep (i headcanon a lot and cheat stuff basically) bc its just not the best in general (clothes fit weird, there's no changes in the frame through time as there would be with hormonal treatments - which there arent in the game so makes sense), not in comparison bc i dont know other games to compare it to just real life ig but im not even that informed tbh; i am happy they didnt create a life sim where trans people are erased and don't want them to be discouraged to stop investing in this at all so i try not to mention it but fix the binder at least & here's a tumblr post that helps me a bit something that surprises me - /pos !! because... they don't... a lot of what we see seems to me like repeating the content ideas from older games but spreading it out to make as much dlc as possible; i had a lot of more wow reveal moments with ts2 & ts3 i feel like but cant truly be sure bc brain is mush

[thebestofoneshots]

Christmas Times

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Prompt: In which you and Bucky have to get the Christmas tree for the compound and decorate it afterwards. Set on an AU whee Bucky joins the team before civil war happens.

Notes: Some Christmas fluff because I’m getting festive. Also Sebs new IG post inspired me I couldn’t stop myself.

Warnings: I mean reader does bump into her very mean aunt but she gets put on her place so it’s nothing you can’t handle.

You stood outside the door only a few seconds before knocking on the door.

“Yes?” You heard his husky voice from the inside of the room. So he was sleeping. He had a late mission last night you recalled, it made sense that he would still be sleeping.

You opened the door “hey! Sorry to wake you, But we need to get the Christmas tree for the common room.”

He was lying on the bed, covers on top of him but arms over them, the silver arm shinning with the small rays of sunset that slipped from the window, you could see his muscular frame. His now short hair a little messy on the pillow. “A Christmas tree? Doesn’t Tony have like a bunch of people that decorate and stuff?”

“Yes... he does. But apparently is a tradition that someone from the team buys the tree and decorates it. Said it was our turn.”

He drew a deep breath “Ok, then. I’m coming,” he smiled and stood from the bed. He was only wearing a pair of tight boxers and he turned quickly to grab his jeans so you couldn’t see much more than his muscular back, and obviously his ass, but you blushed anyway. You’d develop a small crush on the Winter Soldier since you joined the team.

“I’ll uh... wait outside,” you said and started going out.

“No, it’s fine I’m ready,” He said turning around. Still shirtless and walking to his closet to put on a shirt quickly. You turned to the side to hide your blush. Is not like you hadn’t seen him shirtless before, he went for a swim every other day. But his environment was different, it felt homier? Perhaps... “You ok?”

“What?” You asked turning your face back to him.

“You seemed... lost in thought.”

“Did I?... I didn’t notice. Shall we go?” You said skillfully changing the subject and started walking outside. “You know? I’m lucky I got paired with you to get the tree,” you spoke, a small smile appeared on his face as you did. He enjoyed spending time with you as well. “Your super soldier strength will come in super handy...”

“Is that the only reason you’re lucky? I was hoping it was because of my magnetic personality,” he joked.

“Oh, curse is not the only reason Buck,” you smiled as you playfully punched his arm.

The two of you got to the parking lot by then and grabbed the truck. You took the driver's seat since you knew the modern New York better than he did.

“Do we need to get ornaments as well?” He asked as you passed a few Christmas stores.

“Tony said he had some saved but we could buy anything we liked, every avenger has added their own special thing to the tree of something like that, that’s what makes it special,” you explained.

“When did you even talk to Tony about this? I thought he was in Europe.”

“Oh, he left a video recording and told FRIDAY to help me with whatever else.”

“There!” He said pointing outside “over there there was a very beautiful one,” he explained. You had to continue for a bit to be able to get to the other side of the road and then a bit more to find a parking spot but after a while, you finally stopped.

“I’ll follow you,” you said as you got out of the car and closed it by pressing the small button on the key. A few minutes later Bucky and you were looking at the many different trees in the garden.

“(Y/N)?” He called as you absently looked at one of the trees.

“Mhm?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if we got a plastic tree? Reuse it every year? To avoid climate change and deforestation?”

“You’ve been watching way to much Discovery channel,” you giggled “but actually, I was wondering the same thing and I googled it, apparently a plastic tree is worse unless you reuse it for more than 5 years, and it’s wasteful either way because I’ll end up on a landfill. But Tony promised he’d plant 10 pine trees for every Christmas tree used in the tower so that’s even better!”

“We should buy two then,” he said with a smile.

All right, let’s take a picture, you said as you took out your phone and posted him in front of a Christmas tree. As you were taking the picture you saw someone that made you quickly lower your head and fast walk towards Bucky to use him as a hiding spot.

“What?” He said looking around alert.

“Nothing, just. My aunt is there! I haven’t seen her in a while, and she’s just going to continue nagging me about getting a boyfriend “ you explained “so I’m just gonna, go hide for a while,” you said and quickly walked behind some trees leaving Bucky in that same spot.

As you hid in between a few trees and turned your back pretending to be really distraught by a random tree when someone taped on your shoulder. You frowned and cursed under your breath before turning with a smile.

“(Y/N)!” She smiled pulling you into a hug “I thought it was you back there.

“Aunt Linda! How’s it been?” You asked her smiling.

“Oh just fine, that’s what. I wanted to come here with your cousins but they were too busy to come. So I had to come to get the tree all by myself. What about you? Did you come alone too? I know you don’t have many friends anyway but maybe you convinced someone to help you...” she smiled.

“I... ugh—“

“—doll! I finally find you! I lost you a few trees back, I was about to tell you I found the perfect tree for home.”

“Bucky I...“

“Home?” Your aunt asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Aunt Linda this is—“

“—Her boyfriend,” Bucky answered pulling one of his charming gentleman smiles from the ’40s, “you can call me James,” he stretched his arm “it’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she smiled “such a handsome man! Never thought my niece would get a man like you. You’re out of her ligue.” Yes, that was Aunt Linda, poisonous words and all. And people wondered why you were hiding from her. “And to be honest, I was starting to think she was lesbian. 25 years and you’re the first one.” She finished.

You smiled “And there would be nothing wrong with me being a lesbian, would it?” you frowned. Bucky pulled you closer to him, with his flesh arm on your waist.

“Oh, of course not honey but you know, you’re already the family’s black sheep. You wouldn’t wanna make it even more evident. People would talk.”

“People like you I suppose,” spit Bucky from the side. He seemed to be getting rather angry at her. He clearly hadn’t had the brilliant opportunity to spend a whole Christmas with her and her vicious words or he’d understand she was actually being polite.

“Oh no darling, I would never, but some people on the family can be very creative, in a negative way if you know what I mean. So... how did you two meet?”

“At work.” You answered quickly, wanted to get away from there as soon as possible.

“Oh... at work...” she replied viciously, “well it’s not a surprise since you’re always working.”

“Yes, the minute she walked into the office for the first time she caught my eye. She wore a black suit and was walking alongside our boss looking like an angel. But it wasn’t until we got our first assignment together that I fell completely and utterly in love with her. With her mind and her voice and her everything. She has this way of analyzing situations and finding solutions, it’s incredible.”

You looked back at Bucky and then to your aunt who stood there with her mouth agape. You looked back at Bucky again and thought to yourself ‘damn he was a good actor. Little did you know he hadn’t been acting.

But then a busy woman walked passed really fast, pushing Bucky and casing his glove to fall on the floor. The glove that covered his metal arm.

She pulled his hand towards hers to look at it as you leaned to pick the glove up. Bucky seemed uncomfortable.

“Oh, you don’t have a hand.”

“It’s my whole arm actually,” Bucky corrected. You’d think no one would dare to say something offensive in a situation like this but there was Aunt Linda for you.

“Oh, that explains it.”

“Explains what?” You questioned.

“How such a handsome man would fall I love with you. He’s not complete. He IS on your ligue...”

And that was all it took. “You stop right there! First of all, him lacking an arm does not make him any less of a man or any less attractive. Second, he is one of the sweetest, nicest, bravest humans I know. And third of all, he is a veteran and lost his arm fighting for your country so you should show some respect!”

Your aunt looked at you perplexed. And blinked a bunch of times. “I didn’t mean to... I...”

“Aunt Linda, I didn’t—“

“—I’ll talk to your mother about this.” She said before turning around and leaving.

You and Bucky shared a look and started laughing at her offended frame as she was liked away. At first, you tried to hold it, but once she was far away enough the two of you were almost crying.

“That’s a character.”

“See why I was hiding?” You told him after taking a deep breath. Once the two of you finally cooled down, you noticed that you still had his glove on your hand. You looked at it and a free taking a deep breath you handed it to him. “I’m really sorry about that,” you said as you handed him the glove “but also thanks for stepping in and pretending to be my boyfriend. Although now the whole family is going to ask me about the mysterious James...”

“I’ll be happy to assist as your boyfriend whenever any other family member shows up,” He smiled.

“For what’s worth, I truly meant everything I said earlier. Your metal arm does not take away any of your worth Bucky,” you told him as you rubbed his flesh arm a little. There was nothing else you could do to comfort him, even knowing how delicate the subject was for him, especially it being originally made by hydra. “Anyway... did you really find a tree or were you just making that up?”

“I did!” He smiled. “Come!” He grabbed your hand to pull you through the made of trees towards the one you wanted. Once you got it, between the two of you you manage to load the tree on the truck and after a short drive stopped by a small Christmas market.

You walked along with Bucky through the beautiful Market but separated from each other when you stopped to look at some of the ornaments. You’d found a small shop that would vinyl cut whatever you wanted on a beautiful golden orb. “Hey (Y/N),” you heard as you stared at the machine from that small shop. You turned to find Bucky with a small bag in his hand. “I found the perfect ornament for you,” he said as he opened the bag and pulled a small crystal mermaid from it.

“She’s beautiful,” you said staring at it with awe. “How did you find her?”

“She was on a small store somewhere over there,” he said pointing to the right, trying to stop you from noticing he had maybe spent too much money on her because he couldn’t stop himself after seeing how perfectly fitting it would be.

“Thank you, Buck. I can’t believe you remembered I love mermaids so much...” you smiled. “Either way, I actually found something that would be perfect for you.”

“You did?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes! just you wait,” you winked and walked towards the small shop you’d found and ordered a little special thing. They said it would take around 20 minutes so you went back to Bucky.

“Let’s get an ice-cream,” you said as you pulled Bucky to a small ice-cream shop and ordered a few cones.

“You have plum taste?” You asked as the small lady nodded. “Two balls of plum in one and the other chocolate and blueberry please,” you ordered with a smile.

They gave you your ice creams in just a few seconds. And you walked back to the earlier shop alongside Bucky, the ornament was ready. You paid for it and held it behind your hands to show Bucky with a surprise. “All right close your eyes.”

He did as told. And you placed the ornament on his right hand and gave it a small squeeze to indicate he could open it. He stated at it for a while. The golden ornament had a shield on it. Like Steve’s original shield but with silver and red in the center. The cold slopes through the cracks between his shield, making it look just like his new arm. “You don’t like it...” you said since he hadn’t said anything.

“Like it?” He asked in disbelieve “I love it!”

You finally let out the breath you were holding. The shopping time was finished and the two of you hoped back on the truck to drive back to the compound.

Once there, the two of you brought the tree down and place it in the center of the common room. “FRIDAY? Where are all the decorations for the tree you told me about?”

“The box is behind the counter,” Explained FRIDAY.

“Yes, it is!” Said Bucky while pulling a very big plastic box from behind the counter.

He brought the box next to the tree and the two of you started looking through the box. Finding small ornaments and guessing which one was chosen by who from the team.

The first thing you did was add all of the lights, you choose the colourful ones and started filling the tree with them. After you started placing all the different ornaments. Leaving the two new ones you had purchased for the end, just like FRIDAY had advised you too.

“It looks nice,” you said as you smiled to yourself feeling accomplished. The shiny tree looks as beautiful as ever, the lights bouncing around from one place to another.

“We still have these,” pointed Bucky out taking the ornaments that the two of you got at the market.

“You’re right!” You said as you carefully took the mermaid from his hand and stared at the tree for a place to put it in. After a few seconds, the two of you started moving but neither noticed until your hands collided. The two of you were trying to place the ornament in the same place.

“Are you imitating me?”

“No. It was just the empty branch,” he pointed “the no es empty branch.”

“Well yes, it is the emptiest spot,” you agreed “all right, this is what we’re going to do, I’ll place mine over here,” you pointed at one spot “and yours can be here,” you pointed at another one, right next to yours.

“Deal,” he said as he placed his ornament. You placed your small mermaid later and it appeared as if the mermaid was looking at Bucky’s shield. Just like in the real world, you thought to yourself. Little did you notice Bucky was the one staring at you right then and there.

“We still need to add the star,” you said getting the delicate Swarovski star from the small box, of course, Tony would have a Swarovski star.

“Oh I’m not touching that, I don’t want to break it,” he said stepping out. “Tony doesn’t have much tolerance for me anyway.”

“Don’t be silly, I can’t reach the top anyway. The tree is too tall.”

“I’m not touching it.”

“Bucky!”

“I’m not. But I can carry you,” he shrugged.

“That would be less stable than just placing it in the top,” you reasoned.

“I’ve made my mind.”

“FRIDAY, do we have a ladder?”

“No, but you could use that chair over there.”

Bucky went for the chair and brought it to you. Placing eight on the side of the tree. You tried to step on it “this is so unstable...”

“Don’t worry I’ll watch your back,” he said as he tried to keep the chair shady with his hands.

“This is ridiculous James, you could’ve just placed it without an issue.” You mumbled as you slowly placed the star on the top. But your shoelace caught onto the side of the chair and you tripped and fell.

Luckily for you, Bucky was paying attention and he quickly grabbed you from the waist to stop You from falling face-first on the floor, instead, you fell on top of him since your weight had grown the both of you on the floor.

First thing you did as soon as you gathered everything that was happening is that you removed your weight from his chest by sitting in his stomach with one leg on either side of his torso, “Can you breathe?” You asked placing your hands on his face to look for any signs of trauma.

He smiled when he noticed how concerned you were “yes I Can breathe doll, I’ve been thrown from higher placed bc way bigger men.”

“But it was a hard fall, and my weight. Could have pulled all the sir from your lungs.”

“I didn’t... no need to worry,” he smiled again.

You drew a relieved breath and smiled too. After that, you rolled off him and instead of standing up you laid on the floor next to him as well.

The tree stood majestic and tall in front of the two of you. “We did an amazing job,” you mumbled.

“It’s because we’re an amazing team,” he responded. A smile appeared on your face when you heard those words.

“We should decorate Christmas trees more often,” you giggled. “But next time you’re placing the start!”

“And miss the opportunity of having you on top of me again? No way!” He joked. The two of you laughed again.

“Thank you, Bucky!” You said then as you gave him a quick fast hug, the two of you still lying on the floor.

“What for?”

“You always make my days brighter,” you said, trying to sound casual.

He turned his whole body towards you, his steel-blue eyes staring directly into yours. “I could say the same thing, doll.”

Find more Bucky fluff over here 👈

Feedback is always appreciated ✨

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[rhodesmystery]

what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely

HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?

this got long so under the cut

they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school

natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places. 

this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley

second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.

third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly

OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.

except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.

sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.

they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.

seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol

same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.

theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that. 

i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol

and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.

in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.

early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.

natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.

idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.

in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)

in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed. 

they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development. 

DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH

also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck episode 5 reaction

This episode was full of delightful TMI!

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Video games

Matteo is the one who seems to give Jonas a little nudge toward speaking with Hanna. 

 Lol Jonas, CHILL. You see each other all the damn time. In fact you were saying it just a few episodes ago.

But then again, he’s not being passive-aggressive or denying that he’s upset like other Jonases. He’s openly saying what the problems are, her ignoring him and hiding him from her dad.

Also they look pretty settled and happy and are about to make out before Jonas is called back to his game. Like … this is a reasonably healthy relationship? This is fine? It has its bumps but they have good communication skills for the most part, considering they are teenagers.

If their relationship is more stable than the other versions at this point, and they can address their issues pretty directly, what’s going to be the problem that tears them apart?

Clip 2 - Hanna and Mia

They’re on bicycles together! That is the universal symbol of love.

Lmao, an American dad. Mia jumped up about a thousand points for that line about “I’m defending the pussy of my daughter even if it’s the last thing I’ll do.” What a very good, very in-character observation.

This isn’t that important of a scene if you know the truth of the situation with Jonas, but if you were new to it, yeah, it’d be relevant to address just why there’s that reluctance for Hanna to let her dad meet Jonas. 

Clip 3 - The crew, minus one

Sam’s blue teeth are very cute! I kinda love how random this detail is.

Kiki’s Dreaming University shirt seems like the most Kiki-ish attire I can imagine.

All of these girls need to be kissing Amira’s ass soon. I feel so bad for her. Have any of them reached out to her at all? Sam even points out that Leonie and Sara were probably being racist to her. Don’t sleep on that! You all let her down!

Kiki is awful but not gonna lie, I’m kind of entertained by her conviction about everything. Of course the girls want to know out what it’s like to make out with Alexander! She has the stats on when is the average time to lose your virginity! She has references for Alexander’s orgasm giving skills!

Sam’s look when Kiki mentions Til Schweiger, lol. She is fantastic.

I’m really glad they’re planting the hints about Kiki’s eating disorder early and having Mia recognize them. Although at least those green drinks have nutrients in them, not like she’s subsisting on Diet Coke and gum.

Clip 4 - Adventures in gynecological visits

Starting the gyno scene with Khia’s “My Neck, My Back”… an INSPIRED musical choice.

Sam immediately sticking her fingers down plastic genitalia … relatable, tbh.

Oh god, I love this doctor. Kiki being like, I’m so old to lose my virginity! And the doctor being like, well, I was 26, he worked at a convenience store and he had a bad rash, I took him to the hospital and he was so grateful that we boned. All while opening the condom with her teeth and rolling it on the dick with a dreamy nostalgic look.

Sam thinking this is the cutest story ever! Another reason why she’s spectacular. She recognizes romance when she hears it.

Kiki slowly reaching behind for Hanna’s hand in alarm as they talk about bleeding, lol.

The doc just passing around the condoms like candy, how nice! And she gives her a prescription in what seems like an unrealistically short process (I don’t know anyone who got the pill without at least getting a basic checkup, getting their blood pressure checked, going over their medical history, etc. but it’s not like I know how every doctor in the world does it). 

Clip 5 - Hey look, it’s Hanna’s dad

(I was a little confused about when this clip aired, so I’m just going to treat it like a separate scene).

This part about not just learning by heart, but thinking outside the box has thematically to do with Hanna not being able to think for herself. Sure, there are different connotations in the context of education rather than social pressures, but it’s still relevant.

Oh, so Hanna is living alone. I want to know more about how that came to be and what the exact situation is with her dad and his other family.

Her dad takes the idea of an open relationship pretty chill and cancels on his girlfriend/new wife(??) to meet his daughter’s boyfriend, so points to him for trying to be a Cool Dad? Also, not overreacting at the idea of his daughter who lives alone having a boyfriend, so he’s not Mia’s idea of an American chastity-defending dad.

Clip 6 - Carmen the unseen hero?

I had heart eyes all throughout this clip and it was tempting to just post the whole thing.

The girls sticking condoms in Sam’s hair like they’re decorating a Christmas tree! The condoms placed strategically like nipples on Kiki’s chest when she lies down! We love the little details.

Sam not remembering her first time because she was drunk … alarming!

Not to be a creep but this conversation about female masturbation is a big part of why I like Skam in the first place! This is a good moment for teenage girls to see - a casual, blunt, funny discussion between other girls, acknowledging that it’s fine for girls to masturbate. Sam talking about her stuffed camel - hilarious.

So Kiki’s fantasy involves sitting fully clothed with Alexander and petting her cats … stroking their fur … she starts petting the bedspread…

What’s with all these versions of Vildes having a thing about cats? I mean I have a guess but.

Also Kiki didn’t mention that she won’t be involved in lesbian activity … hmMMM.

And then this conversation turns into bestiality jokes. Honestly ... relatable. You never let the cat/camel jokes die.

The dad walking in kind of awkwardly!! But in a laid-back dad way.

God, Alexander is a super weird lurker and already eyeing Mia and Kiki is just like this is my MAN :D :D :D

Is Jonas going to have the same secret? I really, really hope not. It makes no sense considering Hanna already knows.

Also Hanna asked him about Leonie like immediately, yet another example of them being direct about their issues. I guess they’re not going to have Hanna ask Matteo for the scoop? 

General Comments

This is still the remake I enjoy the most and of course it’s the one with the least content. They need to work on the social media as there definitely need to be more text messages and some of the IG content is off, like I think that Hanna’s IG stories were too early (Mia meeting Jonas and talking about going to the doctor a day or so before it actually happened in real time - correct me if I got that wrong). Someone give them a bigger budget and staff so we can get more stuff. But as far as the clips themselves, I’ve been pretty satisfied. At least this was a longer episode!

The doctor was excellent and my fave other than the legendary Skrulle. I can’t wait to see more of her. Though I guess if she’s a gynecologist it wouldn’t make sense for Matteo to visit her for sleeping pills, right? If they make it that far/if they do a close remake of S3 (which I don’t want, admittedly).

Every time I think I’m meh on Mia, I’m endeared by something she does, such as her interaction with Jonas in the IG story, or the American dad line.

I like the other girls, too. Hanna feels suitably insecure, Sam is just great, and Kiki, though often insufferable, I find to be a very convincing depiction of that personality type. I missed Amira though it was to be expected this episode. 

I don’t speak German so if I miss some context, feel free to correct me or elaborate.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[teamfreewill-imagine]

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Thirty-Nine

Summary: Things are looking up until the news of Danneel’s experiences on One Tree Hill go public. Words: 4.5k Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Dallas (OC) Warnings: mentioned sexual assault/harassment, nausea, angst Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

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In the morning, you woke to your phone blowing up with notifications.

Someone had taken pictures of you and Gen, dancing and kissing in the final bar, and spread them around.

You sighed when you saw them, waking Genevieve up to show her what was being said, but she just shrugged and fell back into the pillows.

“We had fun,” she murmured. “They’re just jealous I got to party with the hottest cowgirl in town.”

You laughed, putting your phone down and kissing her softly.

“More jealous of me, getting to make out with Kris Furillo’s older, sexier body double,” you smiled, slapping her ass through the comforter as you got to your feet, stretching your arms above your head and making your jersey ride up. “I should probably watch Wildfire at some point.”

“You’re a tease,” she complained as you pulled the hem back down, grinning at her. “You’ve not even seen my season of Supernatural.”

“I don’t have a lot of free time,” you reasoned. “I’ve got a baby and a show.”

“Next hiatus we’ll do a catch up of all of our acting disasters,” she told you, watching as you pulled on a pair of shorts. “Jay and Grandpa Ackles did a real interesting movie a few years back that he hates us bringing up.”

“Can’t wait,” you smiled. “I’m gonna check on Dal and Jared.”

“I’m gonna grab ten more minutes,” she mumbled. “Remember to pump if your boobs get heavy, and-”

“Don’t breastfeed until this afternoon,” you finished for her, and she hummed in agreement.

“My girlfriend is the smartest,” she murmured, her voice muffled by her pillow as you left the room.

Genevieve had to fly back to Austin on Thursday morning, leaving everything back to normal in your Vancouver home.

You and Jared were both working long hours to make up for your time off, leaving yourself tired and your daughter grouchy.

“In a week, we’ll be in Hawaii, then it’ll be Thanksgiving break,” Jared reminded you the next Friday when you were getting ready for bed. “We’ve got some real time off.”

“I know,” you smiled tiredly, leaning up to kiss him when Dallas started crying.

You sunk back down onto your heels, resting your forehead on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“She’s so grumpy lately,” you complained, and he laughed softly as he kissed the top of your head.

“She’s a baby,” he smiled, kissing your temple as he pulled back. “I’ve got this, get into bed.”

“You sure?” you clarified, already pulling back the covers.

“I’m sure,” he promised. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You never got to Hawaii, not even for the convention.

You were scrolling through your twitter feed after work on Monday when you came across Danneel’s retweet of Sophia’s post sharing an article from Variety.

Reading the title, ‘One Tree Hill’ Cast, Crew Accuse Showrunner Mark Schwahn of Sexual Harassment, had bile rising in your throat.

Just three paragraphs in, you dropped your phone, running to the bathroom to half throw up, half sob into the toilet bowl.

You were still crying when Jensen appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching you in concern.

“You’re not pregnant again already, are you?” he asked, teasing.

You sniffed, wiping your mouth with some tissue before flushing the toilet, getting to your feet and walking across to the basin.

You splashed some water on your face, swilling some around in your mouth to get rid of the horrible taste before spitting into the sink and rinsing it down.

“Kiddo?” Jensen probed, the teasing gone from his tone. “What’s up?”

“She-” you cleared your throat, swallowing down the ache. “She had to work with him.”

He instantly knew what you were referring to, pulling you into a comforting embrace.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered, resting his cheek on top of your head. “I know.”

You were crying against his shirt but he didn’t care, whispering reassurances to you as his hand stroked your back.

“I hate him,” you sniffed, and Jensen held you tighter.

“Me too, kiddo,” he agreed. “Did you- did you read the letter?”

You shook your head against him, trying to stop crying.

“I only got a few lines into the article,” you admitted, and he nodded, pulling back enough to kiss your temple.

“Dee signed a letter, calling him out,” he explained, his voice soft. “Sophia and Hil wrote most of it, but so many of them signed it. It’s tough but they’re going to make a difference. It’s… it’s a tough read, but they’re finally able to speak out.”

“Yeah,” you breathed, sniffing.

“Yeah,” he echoed as he pulled back, looking into your eyes.

“I hate men,” you grumbled, earning a soft laugh as he tucked you under his arm and lead you out of the bathroom.

“You sound just like your mama,” he murmured, and you huffed a laugh.

“Good,” you told him. “She’s the strongest person I know.”

He smiled, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your shoulder.

“You and me, both.”

Jared was in the nursery - reading ‘Guess How Much I Love You’ to Dallas, his soothing voice sending her to sleep - when you finally got around to reading the whole article without having to stop to sob or run to the bathroom.

Your heart was broken, knowing what Danneel had suffered through, and all you wanted was to be close to her.

But you were in Vancouver and she was thousands of miles away, in a timezone that meant it was too late to call or facetime, leaving you with no option but to curl up in bed and cry.

You cried for all of the women who had signed that letter. You cried for your family and close friends. You cried for the complete strangers, named and unnamed. You cried for the injustice of it all.

A part of you, pushing its way to the forefront of your mind, cried with relief.

Relief that they’d spoken out, relief that they were finally able to fight back, and relief that you didn’t have to suffer that way on your ‘big break’ show.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but the idea that you could’ve had someone like him running Supernatural, in charge of your career, made you nauseous all over again.

You could have left Oklahoma, thinking you’d left everything bad behind you, only to find the same thing happening to you in the place that was supposed to be your fresh start; your clean slate.

You didn’t know how long you’d been silently crying when you felt the bed dip beside you.

Jared sat against the headboard, gently rolling you over so that your head was in his lap. You were still curled up, your knees as far to your chest as they could go, but you rested an arm over his thighs as his hand began to stroke through your hair.

Eventually, your tears dried up and you found yourself laying in silence, numbness filling your body.

“You don’t have to come to Maui, you know?” Jared told you, his voice soft.

You pulled back, pushing yourself to sit up as you looked at him, wiping your cheeks with your sleeve.

“You don’t even have to come to Honolulu,” he continued. “Creation will understand, so will Gen and I.”

“We’ve been… we’ve planned this for weeks,” you protested weakly. “Our first vacation.”

“And of course we’d love it if you came,” he agreed. “But we understand if you need to be with Danneel.”

You swallowed, not knowing what to say as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

“This… your reaction to everything,” Jared paused, trying to find the right words. “Kiddo, if you need your mama, you need your mama. There’s no shame in wanting to go home- wanting to be with her. I get it.”

“The fans-”

“The fans will understand, Y/N,” he promised, his lips against the top of your head. “I’ve had to leave conventions early before, and everyone gets over it.”

You wrapped your arms around his middle, leaning further into him.

“I’m not saying you have to go to Texas,” he clarified, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you can’t come to Hawaii. I just want you to know that the option is there, and nobody will think any less of you for taking it.”

You didn’t know how to reply, but Jared didn’t need you to as he started to slowly trail his fingers up and down your arm in a comforting movement.

“We still have a couple days,” he whispered, his fingers stilling as he wrapped a strong arm over your shoulders and pulled you closer. “Just think about it.”

You nodded, still unable to form an audible response, but you didn’t need time to think about it.

You knew where you needed to be.

Danneel and the twins greeted you at the airport on Thursday lunchtime and, the second you saw them, tears started to well in your eyes.

You let go of Dallas’ stroller as you reached them, throwing your arms around Danneel and burying your face in her neck

“Hey, shh,” she soothed as you felt yourself begin to cry. “You’re okay.”

“Are you?” you asked, pulling back and cradling her face in your hands, checking her over. “Are you-”

“I’m alright, sweetheart,” she promised, kissing your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

She took over Dallas’ stroller as you took the twins’, looking down into their gorgeous eyes and sniffing back your tears.

“You guys need to stop growing every time I look away,” you mumbled, stroking Arrow’s cheek as she was in the top basket.

“You’re telling me,” Danneel agreed, looking down at Dallas. “Two seconds ago she was a newborn.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, starting towards the exit. “Taking after her daddy already.”

You had a few hours alone with Danneel and the babies, during which she talked to you more about the article and what happened while she was working on One Tree Hill.

It hurt to hear her talking about it, to see her reliving the moments, but she assured you that now was the time for them to come forward; that they were already making such a difference by talking out about it.

“Besides,” she had reminded you, her arm around your shoulders as she kissed your temple, “I had great friends around me at the time, and I’ve got an incredible family with me now. I’m good, kiddo.”

By the time Danneel’s phone alarm went off, telling you that it was time to pick up JJ, the two of you were smiling and joking with each other.

“I didn’t tell JJ that you were coming,” she told you as you strapped the babies into their car seats. “She’s gonna freak out.”

“I can’t wait to see her,” you smiled, checking over Dallas’ seat as Danneel did the same for the twins.

You leaned in to kiss Dallas’ cheek, shutting the door before climbing into the passenger seat and smiling across at Danneel.

“Let’s get going,” she grinned, starting the ignition.

You were grinning as you watched the kids file out of the preschool classroom from your seat in the car, running excitedly towards their parents and carers to talk about their days.

You were waiting in the car with the babies to prolong the surprise, but your grin changed to a soft frown when you noticed that JJ wasn’t as enthusiastic to see her mom as she usually was.

You stayed quiet while Danneel helped her into her carseat, and JJ didn’t offer any kind of conversation either.

Once Danneel got behind the wheel, she turned back to face the kids.

“JJ, are you gonna say hi to your sister?” she prompted, and you turned around to smile at her.

“Hi,” she murmured, looking out the window.

“Hey, kiddo,” you responded, turning back to Danneel. “What-?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, starting up the car again. “She won’t tell me anything.”

JJ was sitting quietly in the front room when you and Danneel had finished getting the babies out of the car.

Danneel took Dallas from your arms, nodding towards JJ.

“See if you can get her to talk?” she requested, and you smiled sadly.

“I hate seeing her like this.”

“Me too,” she agreed, kissing your cheek. “But if anyone can get her to feel better, it’s her big sister.”

You hoped she was right as you made your way through to the front room, sitting down on the floor opposite JJ.

“Hey, Texas,” you murmured, lightly knocking her chin with a knuckle so that she looked at you. “You wanna tell me what happened today?”

JJ nodded, her lip starting to quiver as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you breathed, cupping her cheek in your palm. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffed, leaning into you for a hug.

You wrapped your arms around her, kissing the top of her head and waiting for her to talk.

“I was- I was playin’ with the truck,” she began, sniffing and speaking against your top. “And Ben stole it from me while I was playin’.”

You swallowed thickly, already furious with this ‘Ben’ character.

“Did you tell him you were still playing with it?” you asked, and she nodded against you before pulling back.

She still had tears in her eyes and you wanted nothing more than to make them go away.

“I said I was playin’ and that he could have it after me,” she told you, sniffing. “I’ve learned sharin’ and I know that it’s important so I said he could have it when I was done but he just took it. And I told Miss Daisy because I was still playin’ and he stole it but she- she-”

“What did she say, kiddo?” you asked kindly.

“She said he was just bein’ a boy and I’m a mature lady and I don’t need to get upset about it,” she told you, trying to wipe her own tears.

You saw red, trying not to get angry because you didn’t want JJ to feel any worse.

“Alright, baby,” you breathed, taking her hands in your own. “I want you to listen to me, okay?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, still sniffing.

“‘Boys will be boys’ is not an acceptable excuse for mean behaviour, and I’ll be having a chat with Miss Daisy about that tomorrow,” you explained, and JJ nodded again. “If you told Ben that he couldn’t have the truck yet, he shouldn’t have taken it without your conse- without your permission.”

You cleared your throat, trying to keep your tone steady.

“No means no, kiddo.”

“No means no,” she repeated, and you nodded.

“That’s right,” you agreed, ruffling her hair until she smiled slightly. “So, what do you say next time another kid takes the toy you’re playing with without permission?”

“I say ‘no means no’,” she told you.

“That’s right, and you take the toy back.”

“I take it back,” she nodded, and you smiled, tapping her nose.

“Yep,” you confirmed, “Because you never let anyone take away your decisions or your voice.”

“No means no,” JJ murmured, and you kissed her cheek.

“Alright, Tex, go wash your face,” you told her, getting to your feet and pulling JJ up with you, “Put on some comfy clothes, ‘kay?”

She smiled, running off to do as you asked after stopping to hug Danneel’s legs in the doorway.

Danneel still had Dallas in her arms as she stepped into the room, watching you with a concerned expression.

You shrugged softly, folding your arms.

“I fixed her bad mood,” you explained, and she nodded.

“You did, thank you,” she hedged, biting her lip. “What was all that about?”

“She needs to know that it’s not okay for boys to walk all over her,” you shrugged defensively. “I’m gonna talk to her teacher-”

“I agree, and I’ll go with you,” Danneel told you, “But, Dits… the whole ‘no means no’ talk…”

You swallowed, taking a step back when you realised what she was getting at.

Danneel took a tentative step towards you, concern furrowing her brow.

“Talk to me,” she requested softly. “What happened?”

You shrugged, looking away.

“Nothing,” you murmured. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

One look at her face told you that Danneel wasn’t buying it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you tried, your voice soft.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed. “You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed again, looking down at the floor.

“Come on, it’s me,” she pleaded. “You’re my baby. Let me help you.”

As soon as the words left her lips, she could see your expression change.

“I’m not your baby,” you spat, causing Danneel to flinch slightly. “You’re not my real mom.”

Danneel nodded, her hold on Dallas tightening protectively as your demeanor changed.

“I know that, sweetheart,” she offered softly, “I know-”

“No, you don’t know,” you snapped, and Danneel’s mouth suddenly shut in shock as you started to shout. “You don’t know what it was like. You don’t have any idea what it was like! You weren’t there, so stop acting like you know me when all you’ve ever seen is ‘Ditto Ackles’, because - guess what?”

Danneel had never seen you like this before, her heart was pounding hard and fast inside her chest as she let you continue to rant.

You stepped back, motioning around the room.

“This isn’t me,” you told her, harshly. “This… this whole thing is bullshit! ‘Ditto’ is bullshit. The ‘me’ you know is a fucking lie. So I’m sorry that I’m not ready to let you in on all my deep dark secrets just because you’ve ‘known’ me for five whole minutes.”

You stopped, your chest heaving as Danneel looked at you as if she’d never even met you - as if you were a stranger in her home.

The two of you faced each other for a while, both too stubborn to break eye contact.

This was new territory for Danneel. JJ was still too young to argue with her to such an extent, but she knew in that moment that you needed a parent.

Not to hug you and tell you everything was okay, but to set boundaries and let you know when you’d crossed them. To set rules for your own benefit and to inflict consequences when you acted out.

Danneel squared her shoulders and set her jaw, rearranging Dallas so that your daughter was against her chest.

Dallas balled her fists, snuggling in against Danneel’s neck as she was moved.

“It’s a good thing I’m not your real mom,” Danneel spoke, taking you by surprise. “I hate to think what she’d’ve done if you ever spoke to her like that.”

You swallowed, finally breaking eye contact.

“But you do not get to talk to me like that,” she continued, her voice even and strong. “I know you’re hurting. I don’t know why because you refuse to talk to me, but I appreciate that you’re dealing with something huge. Whatever it is, whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen. Judgement free. But you never speak to me like that again, you hear me?”

You nodded, still looking at the floor.

“Look at me,” she demanded, and you obliged with wide, frightened eyes. “I haven’t known you forever, you’re right. But I’m your mother, and you used to respect that.”

You swallowed, dumbstruck.

You couldn’t believe that you’d said all of that, that you’d blown up at her in order to protect yourself from telling her everything.

“Dee, I’m sorry,” you breathed, “I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she cut you off.

Every bone in her body was telling her to let you know that you were forgiven, to give you a hug and assure you that everything would be okay, but she didn’t.

You needed discipline; you needed order.

“Go to your room,” she told you, and you blinked at her. “Now, please.”

“Give me my daughter,” you requested.

Danneel didn’t move, hoping that you’d just go upstairs and calm down without her, but you took a step forward and held out your arms.

“Give her to me,” you repeated. “Please.”

She handed her over, and you were instantly grounded by the weight of your daughter in your arms.

Danneel stepped out of your way, and by the time you got to the top of the stairs you had tears in your eyes.

By the time you got to your bedroom, you were crying.

Dallas was fussing in your arms as you sat on your bed, and you tried to shush her through your own tears.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” you murmured, kissing the top of her head. “Mama’s okay. You’re okay.”

You took a few breaths, trying to calm down for the sake of both yourself and your daughter.

“I’m so sorry for shouting,” you whispered, stroking her hair. “You’re not allowed to repeat any of my behaviour. Or any bad words you might’ve heard.”

Dallas blinked, looking up at you with gorgeous eyes.

“You’ve gotta respect Dee, too,” you sighed, leaning against the headboard. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to us and we should remember that.”

You sniffed as you heard a little knock on the door, looking up to see JJ peeking into the room.

“Hey, kiddo,” you sighed. “I’m in trouble so I can’t play right now.”

“I know,” she told you, walking in.

You laid Dallas down on the bed next to you, frowning slightly at JJ.

“I’m just sayin’ I love ya,” she told you, climbing up into bed to hug you.

You hugged back, resting your chin on top of her head.

“I love you, Texas,” you assured her, closing your eyes.

She held you for a moment before you pushed her back, kissing her cheek.

“Now get out of here before I get you in trouble.”

She laughed softly, leaning down to kiss Dallas’ forehead before leaving the room as quickly as she entered.

You carefully laid down, moving onto your side and lifting Dallas so that she was laying on her back beside you.

Her eyes were blinking heavily, and you smiled softly as she let out a big yawn.

“Think we both need a bit of a nap, huh?” you murmured, letting her hold your finger as you leant into the pillows. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

You woke to the sound of your bedroom door opening.

Your eyes fluttered open to see that Dallas was still snoozing beside you, her expression content and calm, and a soft smile fell over your face.

The door closing reminded you what had woken you up, and you carefully pushed yourself to sit without disturbing your daughter.

Danneel entered, a steaming mug in her hands and a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she murmured, placing the hot tea down on your nightstand and perching beside you on your mattress.

“Hi,” you whispered, looking down at your hands.

“I love you,” she told you, smiling sadly. “I love you so much. But you can’t talk to me like you did.”

“I know,” you sniffed, your voice hoarse, “I’m sorry, I-”

“I know you are,” she promised. “I know. I love you, and I’m worried about you. You can’t shut me out.”

You nodded, feeling yourself start to cry again.

“Oh, baby,” she breathed, moving closer and pulling you into a hug.

She held you until your tears dried up, until Dallas’ soft grunts of waking up broke the two of you apart.

Danneel picked up your daughter, shushing her in her arms as she smiled down at her.

“I gave her your name,” you murmured, watching the two of them. “I wanted her to grow up with your grace, and your kindness. I wanted her to know that her mama’s mama means everything to us, and I just-”

“It’s okay,” Danneel insisted, cutting you off. “You lashed out, I forgive you. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whispered. “It’s not okay. You’ve taken me in, you’ve taught me what it means to be a parent, and I just threw it all back at you because I didn’t want to talk.”

Danneel nodded, swallowing around nothing as she looked down at your daughter before looking back at you.

“You can tell me anything,” she reminded you. “You can talk to me.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw and looking back down at your hands.

“I wish I was your real daughter,” you admitted, biting a hangnail.

“Honey, you are my real daughter,” she assured you, pulling your hand away from your mouth.

“But I’ll always be adopted,” you reasoned. “And… and she will always be my birth mother. I hate that I come from her. I hate that I can get like her. Why couldn’t I come from you?”

You sounded so young, so sad, that it broke Danneel’s heart to hear you.

“Oh, my girl,” she whispered. “I wish, with all my heart, that I could’ve carried you inside me.”

You nodded, a tear falling down your cheek.

Danneel caught it with her thumb before you had a chance to wipe it, keeping one hand cupping your face while the other held Dallas.

“Sometimes, I-” she sighed, stroking your cheek. “I feel guilty that I wasn’t there from the moment you were born.”

She was looking at you, her eye contact constant but not intimidating so you didn’t feel the need to look away. She was opening up to you and letting you in, even after everything.

“You only carry a baby in your belly for nine months,” she continued, moving her hand from your cheek to hold Dallas as she shifted her position on the bed. “But you carry your child in your heart forever. That’s the place that it counts.”

You nodded, breaking eye contact only to look down at your daughter who was watching Danneel intently.

“You do come from me,” Danneel insisted, “And from Jay. And giving birth to you… that wouldn’t have made me love you any more than I already do.”

“Really?” you whispered, and she shrugged.

“Would it make you love me any more?”

“No,” you answered instantly. “That’s crazy.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “So how about we both stop acting crazy, huh?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand.

“Alright, come here.”

Danneel held her arm out to you and you fitted yourself against her side, leaning your head on her shoulder.

You sniffed as she turned her head to kiss the top of yours, trying not to cry.

You wanted to tell her everything, but you couldn’t. Not yet.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down at Dallas. “I’m not… I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay,” Danneel replied with the same softness, kissing your forehead. “I’ll be here whenever you are, my love. I’m always only a phone call away.”

Let me know what you think!

tags are closed because this always takes me forever

@purgatoan, @thelittleredwhocould, @sammylynne321, @ariannalikescake, @writergirl909, @tlb-kylie, @allinhishands, @winchester-gospels-67, @supernatural0826, @mija-novella, @nerdysandwichqueen, @gemini75eeyore, @imaginespnr5er, @green-love-red-fantasyhearts, @kelsey-spn, @lafayettrash, @emoryhemsworth, @dearnoonethisisurlovesong, @spnolivia, @remybosslika, @ruined-by-destiel, @kickasscas67, @theplaidshirtmadness, @quilliamfears, @charity-elizabeth, @haleyhay96, @latinenglishfandomblog, @smoothdogsgirl, @chelseypaigeake, @katymacsupernatural, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @prideandprejudiceandbrendonurie, @tiffanycaruso, @breakthesociety, @jpadjackles, @abbirae99, @hiddenwritingsintheworld, @karrington7, @leyhikawinchester, @youcanhavit, @faegal04, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @avengersgirllorianna, @mint-and-pastel-pink, @feelmyroarrrr, @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @clueless-gold, @trashforwinchesters, @raeeismee, @supernaturalsuperfreakfan, @blacktithe7, @supernaturalstarbug, @pinkbunnies2001, @danijimenezv, @missbabyfae, @impalaimagining, @im-super-potter-locked, @samcentric-fics, @oriona75, @samsexualdeancurious, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @atc74, @too-much-winchester, @aquabrie, @taylorlaurenthomas, @missvengeance93, @flawsweirdo, @a-queen-and-her-throne, @maxwellthemajestickoala, @castielsgrace-idjits, @typicalweirdbookworm, @relationshipyard, @aeryntheofficial, @summerbee53, @cfordwrites, @im-beautifully-sewn, @xlarryisreallovex, @archer-whovian-violinist, @asgardianvamp21, @shadowpriestess6, @l8nitl0vr, @wificrazymisfit, @buckybarnesisalittleshit

[gethealthy18-blog]

344: Get Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Yelling, or Losing Control With Amy From Positive Parenting Solutions

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344: Get Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Yelling, or Losing Control With Amy From Positive Parenting Solutions

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This podcast is brought to you by Four Sigmatic… a company I’ve loved for years for their superfood mushroom based products. They use mushrooms like lions mane, chaga, cordyceps and reishi in delicious products. Mushrooms are amazing in and of themselves. Did you know that mushrooms are more genetically similar to humans than plants are? And that they breathe oxygen and exhale CO2 just like we do but mushrooms spores can survive the vacuum and radiation of space. These amazing fungi are always a part of my daily routine in some way, usually with Lion’s Mane Coffee or Matcha in the morning, Plant protein and mushroom elixirs like chaga and cordyceps during the day and reishi at night to wind down. As a listener of this podcast, you can save on all Four Sigmatic products. Go to foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama and the code wellnessmama gives 15% off.

This episode is sponsored by Everlywell, at-home lab tests that you can get without a doctor’s order! I’ve used many of their tests and can recommend a couple that have been especially helpful. They have an at-home allergy test for 40 of the most common allergens using the same CLIA-certified labs used by Allergists/Doctors. The labs are reviewed by an independent physician and measure IgE levels of common allergens including pet dander, mold, trees, grasses, and more. But you can do it from your own home with a finger stick. I also really like their food sensitivity tests that test for IgG reactions. This was a big key for me in my health recovery, as there were foods that didn’t show up as an allergy that were causing inflammation. I used an elimination diet, but this food sensitivity test also filled in the missing piece of the puzzle for me. Through healing my gut, I’ve been able to remove all sensitivities except for eggs. Finding out I was highly sensitive to eggs made a huge difference for me, as I ate them often as an inexpensive protein source. I feel so much better now that I don’t eat eggs and I would never have known that without this test! I also use their at-home Vitamin D test to keep an eye on those levels. Check out all of their tests at wellnessmama.com/go/everlywell. Use code MAMA10 for 10% off orders.

Katie: Hello and welcome to “The Wellness Mama Podcast.” I’m Katie from WellnessMama.com and Wellnesse.com. That’s wellness with an E on the end. It’s our new line of personal care products that are both non-toxic and highly effective. This episode is all about how to get your kids to listen without nagging, or yelling, or losing control because I am here with Amy McCready from Positive Parenting Solutions. And I think you’re really going to enjoy this episode if you have kids. She’s the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the creator of the “7-Step Parenting Success System,” which is a course that I’m going through right now to prepare for this interview. She is also the author of two best selling parenting books. The first called “If I Have to Tell You One More Time” and “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic.”

She’s a regular contributor on the “Today” show and CBS, CNN, “Fox and Friends,” “Rachael Ray,” etc. And she’s helped thousands of families to have a happier home life and many parents to become calmer, happier parents. And in this episode, she gives a lot of really practical strategies for how to navigate a lot of what we’re facing right now. When your kids are home a lot more, how to navigate autonomy versus responsibility in older kids. Her “when then” system for getting things done without nagging around the house. Some tips for getting kids to want to actually do homework and schoolwork without the fight, etc. It’s a really fun and lightning episode. I think you’ll enjoy as much as I did. So without further ado, let’s jump in.

Amy, welcome. Thanks for being here.

Amy: Katie, thank you so much for having me. I’m thrilled to talk with you.

Katie: I am so excited about this interview because almost everybody listening is a parent. Most of my audience are moms. And I think this topic is timely and helpful all of the time. But especially, right now, with so much going on, and with summer starting, and kids home more, I feel like the information you have is just so vital for parents. So, I wanna jump right in. This is the thing I get a question about quite a bit as well, and I think you’re more qualified to speak on. So I have my kids home all the time because I homeschool. And I hear from my friends who are moms this time of year, like, “Oh gosh, the kids are gonna be home for all these weeks.” And they get stressed about it. So let’s start there. What do you say to parents who are kind of struggling to balance having the kids home for an extended period of time?

Amy: Well, I think it’s always more challenging when kids are home, whether it’s summer, or holiday breaks, or whatever it happens to be. And I think for parents, we have to just give ourselves a little bit of grace, and forgive ourselves. We may be a little bit more on edge or we may lose our temper more than we would normally. And that’s okay. But the other thing to know is that there are some concrete strategies that you can use all the time but especially, when kids are home, on break or vacation or whatever, that can make things go more smoothly, help your routines stay in check. And if they can implement some of those very basic things, then they’re gonna enjoy that time a lot more with their kids, their kids will be better behaved. Moms and dads will feel better about that time together and family life would just run a lot more smoothly.

Katie: That makes sense. And I think kind of also to start broad, like, I’d love to hear a little bit of your story because I’ve read a little bit of it and I’m going through the positive parenting solutions course right now. But have you always been this patient calm mom?

Amy: Hardly, hardly. And that’s probably the thing that parents don’t know about me unless they’ve heard my story is that I call myself a recovering yeller. Because when my kids were younger, I wanted to be a great mom. I have great kids and they’re wonderful but I found myself on a daily basis getting into this cycle of nagging and reminding my kids, and nagging and reminding, and nagging and reminding, and then I would just blow. And my yelling occurrences were not a one-off. It was a pretty much everyday thing and many times multiple times a day. And so that’s actually how I got into what I do now, is that I would find myself yelling so much, and I was feeling so defeated and frustrated, and sometimes even resentful of my kids, like these people that I love more than anything in the world. But I wasn’t being my best self. And so that’s when I started studying parenting strategies. And it was just so life-changing for our family, for me, personally, for my kids. And my business background was actually in adult training. And that’s what I did for a living. So I took that training expertise and thought, “I really feel like I could bring these strategies to parents and teach them in a way that was fun and it would be easy for them to implement.” And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. So to answer your question, no, I’m not a calm and very Zen person by nature. I’m Type A, I’m controlling, I’m all of those things that tend to bring out the worst in terms of kids’ behavior. But, again, once you know the tools and the strategies, you can definitely turn that around.

Katie: I love that. And, you know, I always hear that line that parenthood doesn’t come with an instruction manual. And I think that’s really true. But I also found out, for me, just on the household side, I wanna go deep on the parenting side with you but I had a similar experience where I was so overwhelmed and exhausted, and just constantly stressed out at home, and I was running a business, and I was running my household. And I stepped back and went, “Why is it so easy to run my business and I am so stressed all the time at home? And I realized, at work, there were defined expectations. I had systems for things, I had a plan and goals and it was clearly defined. Whereas at home, I was trying to sort of manage everyone’s lives in my head, eight people off the top of my head, plan all the meals, and just keep all of that in my head all the time. So, from a household perspective, I realized if I could put the systems in place for my house, that would take a lot of that mental stress away, and I would still get the same amount done just without the stress of it. And I would guess for parenting, you probably discovered some similar things that if you had the strategies, and the frameworks, and the methods to do this, it actually makes your life probably much easier, right?

Amy: Absolutely. And I was laughing to myself when you said, you know, that your job came so much more easily and that’s what I found as well. I felt like I was very capable in my work job, my outside of the house job, but at home I felt like I was floundering. And I think, yes, you’re absolutely right. When you put those processes in place and the routines, and you have the expectations for everyone, it goes so much more smoothly. But the one piece that tends to happen with our kids is that when we put the processes in place, and when we have the rules, and the boundaries, and all those things, that’s helpful but our taskmaster nature actually tends to undermine things with our kids. So I always talk about, you know, how much time we spend sort of ordering, correcting, and directing. That tends to invite power struggles for our kids. So the piece that we have to remember at home is that we have to make sure that we intentionally create those emotional connection opportunities. We’re filling their attention buckets because if we don’t do those things, all of the systems can be in place but if we’re not doing those emotional connection times with our kids, then we’re gonna fall into this pattern of attention-seeking behavior and power struggles, and it’s gonna feel like so much more effort than it really should.

Katie: I love that. Can you give some examples of what that would look like? Because I feel like a lot of parents or at least speaking from my own experience, I know you can get stuck in that cycle of, my kids actually do need to get these things done. They need to help around the house, we’re part of the family, and then you’re just stuck reminding them and nagging them. So give us some examples of stepping back and reinforcing the emotional connection like that.

Amy: Yeah, so that’s the funny thing is that, you know, kids have these hard-wired needs for emotional connection and attention. But they won’t come to you and say, “You know what, Mom? I feel like my attention bucket is really not being filled right now. I’m not feeling that warm and fuzzy emotional connection from you.” Unfortunately, that need that they have will present itself as being overly clingy, and needy, and whining, and more of these attention-seeking behaviors, which makes us more frustrated. And again, you get into this vicious cycle. And just like our kids have an attention bucket, they also have a power bucket, which means that they need to have an age-appropriate sense of autonomy and control over their own lives. But again, they’re not gonna come to us and say, “You know, I feel like I need more control and decision-making opportunities.” They’re gonna dig in their heels. They’re gonna push back. They’re gonna resist, backtalk, and those types of things. And I always remind parents that kid priorities are not the same as parent priorities.

So the more we want them to do the things we want them to do, if we’re not meeting their needs for that emotional connection, filling their attention bucket and filling their power bucket, they’re gonna continue to resist. So the simplest thing is just spending one-on-one time with your kids on a daily basis, and it can be as short as 10 minutes. But in our positive parenting solutions community, we call this mind, body, and soul time because it reminds us for that 10 minutes, we are fully present in mind, body and soul with that child. And nothing is more important, and you’re doing exactly what that child loves to do. So it might be reading a chapter book, or playing Legos, or jumping on a trampoline, it’s whatever that child loves. But in those few moments, you’re giving them your 100% attention. They’re getting that emotional connection with you. And parents are just blown away, Katie, by how much more cooperative kids are, they’re willing to do all of those things that are parent priorities and not really kid priorities. But the key is when we meet their hardwired emotional needs first, all the other stuff becomes so much easier.

Katie: I love that. It’s such a good reframe. And I’ve seen that quote online as well. Like, you know, we have to remember as parents, especially the adults in these relationships, that when kids act out, they’re not trying to be the problem, they’re having a problem. And if we can reframe it and, like, look at what are their needs, and how can we address this, it totally changes how you look at your child and that totally changes the relationship. And I think that’s encouraging to hear as a parent also is, you know, this doesn’t have to be four hours a day per child, which wouldn’t even be possible in my case. You know, it’s like just having that actual focused quality time goes so far. And I think I did this somewhat intuitively, one of my daughter’s, as she got older, like, I could tell she was pulling back a little bit and just a little bit more moody and reserved. And so to connect with her on her level, I literally had to start pole vaulting. But now she’s, like, opened up and we’ve connected so much more. But it took exactly what you said. It took finding the things she loves to do, and me being willing to try it, and not be good at it, which I think is another important lesson for parents. You know, like, let them see you out of your comfort zone and let them see you work through something difficult because we help them work through difficult things all the time. How does that translate then into when they do need to get stuff done, when they need to do their laundry or the dishes or whatever it may be? Do you find just by the nature of putting that time in, they’re just so much more willing or are there strategies that you use to help them also be more willing to want to do those things?

Amy: Well, just by filling their attention bucket intentionally every day, it is almost, almost like a magic bullet that they are so much more cooperative, and easygoing, and willing to do those things that they’re supposed to do. Now, we all know there’s no such thing as a parenting silver bullet so you need some backup strategies. So one of the strategies that I teach to parents is called the when-then routine. And in a when-then routine, it requires that the yucky stuff is done before the more fun parts of the day. So a when-then routine might sound like this. When you finished unloading the dishwasher, then we can have our special time before lunch. So that yucky thing that they don’t wanna do gets done before the more enjoyable thing or when you’ve completed your schoolwork or when you’ve completed your family contributions, then you can have your 30 minutes of technology time. So we’re always the positioning the yucky stuff before the more enjoyable things. It’s important to note that this is not a reward system. If you do this, then you can get that. That’s something very different. Actually, we don’t advocate that at all.

But it is these normally occurring privileges, like whatever maybe technology time you allow or going outside to play with your friends or even our special time together. When the family jobs get done with the schoolwork or whatever those things are, then you can enjoy whatever that thing is. But that when-then routine is magical. And in fact, all of your routines should be set up in a when-then format. So, in the morning, when kids are going to school, let’s say they’re going out to school, when you are dressed, your bed is made, hair is combed, backpack and lunchbox are by the door, then we’ll have breakfast and we can have some special time before we leave for the bus. In the evenings, when you’ve had your bath, teeth are brushed and flossed, and clothes picked up for the morning, then we’ll have our special time before lights out at 8:00. So sometimes you have to put a time limit at the end there, but all of your routines you can set up in a when-then fashion, and it’s fabulous for parents because they can get out of the nagging and reminding business. It really works so beautifully, Katie.

Katie: That makes sense. And in fact, it probably takes the responsibility of having to do any of that nagging or reminding pretty much off your plate because if they come ask, “Can I do screentime? Can I play outside?”, whatever, all you have to say is, “Well did you do this?” And it’s then their choice and their responsibility. The one confounding thing I’m thinking is with my older kids. What about when you get older kids who don’t want to do the one-on-one time as much or they’re pulling back or, like, you know, just aren’t engaging as much in general because they’re kind of hitting that age is? How do you emotionally connect with them?

Amy: That’s a great question. So, mind, body and soul time, I really advocate for kids of all ages. But sometimes we position it differently. So for all kids, if possible, I like to label it. So call it something, you know, Jason and mommy time, whatever you wanna call it. Now, for older kids, you may not label it. So you don’t want it turn into this big, like, you know, they roll their eyes when you say, “Okay, it’s Jeffrey and mommy time.” You just sort of make it happen without making a big pronouncement out of it. And so sometimes that is just being in their vicinity. So if they’re sitting reading a book, you sit down with your book and read it with them. And then afterwards, you can say, “I love sitting here reading with you. This is so cool.” So we don’t make a big deal about it beforehand, but you sort of just slide your way into whatever they’re doing. But then you book end it with just that little, “Aah, I love spending this time with you. This is so fun.”

And then the other thing is being interested in what they’re interested in. And so if they’re into photography or even social media, like you said before, let them teach you things. So let them teach you how to use new platforms or how to, you know, do photos properly on Instagram and all of those types of things that kids are so much better at than we are. Use that as an opportunity to emotionally connect with them. But the connection time is still really important for teens. We just do it slightly differently. The other little thing, Katie, too, even for teens, I love having some sort of a tuck-in routine with them, if you will. Again, it’s gonna look different than your littles. But just some connection time where you are just spending a few minutes with them, connecting, talking about the day, whatever it is. It’s just so powerful and kids may act like they don’t want it. They really do love it once you get into a good routine.

Katie: That makes sense. I could definitely see that. And from that to the other end of the spectrum, at least, for me, with toddlers, I feel like they’re the easy ones to connect because they’re sponges. And if you wanna read a book, or they’ll play Legos, any of that, they love it. But then you run into more of, like, the tantrum or meltdown phases where it’s like, how do you break that cycle when they’re in that kind of a phase?

Amy: That’s the classic question for the younger ones, that’s for sure. So a couple of things, you will find that when you start doing the mind, body, and soul time consistently on a daily basis, the frequency and intensity of those tantrum episodes will decrease. That is proven time and time again. So that’s the first piece. The second piece is when that tantrum happens, again, recognize that that child is having difficulty. It’s not about you, the child is having a hard time. So the most important thing is to connect, be there, get down on their level. Through trial and error, figure out what’s gonna help that child in that moment, show empathy, work on calming strategies, breathing techniques, all of those things that sort of help recenter the mind and body. We can start to teach those things at a young age. We have to recognize that these are kind of skills that kids have to learn. And it takes a little while, but we can start that process right then and there. But I think if we view it, as you said earlier, “This child is having a hard time,” rather than it being a misbehavior, it puts us in a totally different mindset in terms of how we respond to that child. And it’s gonna completely shift how quickly the child comes out of that episode.

Katie: That makes sense. Okay. So in the very beginning, we started talking a little bit about routine. And I’d love to circle back to that, especially with times like kids being home for the summer and not the normal school year type routine. Do you recommend being rigid and creating a routine to kind of keep through the summer or being more lenient in times like that? How do you navigate those?

Amy: Yeah, so I am big on routine. I don’t think we have to be militant. But I think a routine is important, one, because human beings in general, but especially kids crave a sense of order. And most kids do better when there is a sense of order to their day. And so if there can be a general routine that we follow, things happen in a certain order of events, the day will just go more smoothly. So if you are homeschooling, you know, you kind of have your block schedule in terms of the order in which we do things within those blocks and there can be a lot of flexibility. So if it’s a movement or a creativity block, what we do within that can be very flexible. But you would do less nagging and reminding, Katie, if we can have a routine that we follow, even during the summer. Now we want summers to be fun and all of that, but certain things can remain the same. So kids have family contributions, and I call them family contributions, not chores. We can talk about that later. But they have family contributions that they do every day. I highly recommend that bedtimes remain the same.

And the bedtime can be different, say, during the summer, the time can be different during the summer than during the school year if they’re going out to school, but it should be the same every night because kids internal clocks, they still need the same amount of sleep. Their internal clocks don’t recognize the difference between a Saturday night versus a Tuesday night. So keeping routines the same for bedtime can really go a long way in just easing just a lot of stress and anxiety for the parent. The other reason that’s important is that if the bedtime is 8:00 one night, 8:30 the next, and 9:00 the next, you really don’t have a bedtime routine. You don’t have a bedtime. So it becomes negotiable every night and it can turn into this power struggle. So even during summer vacations or holidays, or when we’re all home for other reasons, the more that we can keep the routine pretty consistent, it’ll just make things a lot easier for parents and a lot easier for kids.

Katie: Gotcha. Okay. And I’m glad that you brought up bedtime because I think that’s another area where parents can have a lot of difficulty and it seems to change. So the little ones, at least in my house, it’s been more of the having trouble getting them to get in bed, stay in bed, and then they need water, and they need to go to the bathroom, and then they had a bad dream or whatever, all the things maybe. With my older ones, it’s more of anything, they just wanna stay up and read longer. But any strategies for navigating bedtime and all the different ages and enforcing it without it being a fight?

Amy: Yes, so that we could talk an entire hour just on bedtime. There’s so much to cover here, but just some general guidelines. So you talked about all the requests, the drink of water, the one more hug, all of those types of requests that you get during the bedtime routine. I recommend that you with your kids revisit what that routine is gonna look like. So all the things that they asked for you build that into the routine. And so we decide that, you know, lights out is at 7:30 or 8:00 or whatever time that is, and then all of those things, that extra kiss, and the drink of water, and the back rub, all of those things happen within the routine. Once you close the door, that’s it. Now, you can prepare ahead. Like, you can keep a sippy cup in the room with just, you know, a little tiny bit of water in it. So if they get thirsty in the middle of the night, they have it there. But once the door closes, that’s it. Now there’s quite a bit of a training process that we help parents with to kind of navigate that so it doesn’t turn into a big power struggle. But what we don’t wanna be in the business of is, you know, just responding all night long with these requests because then parents never get a break. They’re exhausted. They end up dreading the bedtime routine.

And it’s a big power struggle. The other thing that I recommend is that the tuck-in time, be one parent and one child, rather than, you know, we read books with everybody together, we do prayers with everybody together, all of those things. While that’s efficient, it doesn’t really fill their attention bucket. And the other problem is when there’s, you know, two kids and one parent, sort of the pack mentality can set in and they start acting up, and that can be difficult. So the more you can do one parent, one child for the tuck-in routine, which means you’ll be staggering, that’s gonna give you better results. Then for older kids, that is just sort of working with them. You know, if they wanna have more reading time, that’s probably fine. But still having a lights out time that you respect. Certainly, we wanna have a technology lights out time, long before their actual bedtime, just so they’re not doing a lot of technology right before they go to bed. So a lot of things to consider in the whole bedtime routine, depending on the age of the child, the preferences of the parents and what kind of power struggles we’re having in general.

Katie: Gotcha. And I’m glad you brought up technology as well because certainly, this is an area that I think our generation kind of uniquely gets to figure out how to handle with kids. Because, at least, for me, that was just starting to come around when I was a teenager. So it wasn’t really… Like, there was no social media at that point. My parents didn’t really have to figure out how to navigate that. And now, we have kids with these devices and they’re connected to the world through technology, which has many advantages and certainly is not going away. And as adults, they’re going to need to know how to navigate technology. But as parents, we have a responsibility for teaching them to navigate it responsibly and also not letting it take over our family lives. And also, before we jump into any topic like this, I also wanna say I realize this is different, I’m sure in every family and there are times where kids are using technology for schoolwork or for other things. So I’m not trying to, like, poo technology at all. I just am curious, do you have any guidelines for navigating technology appropriately at all the different stages?

Amy: Yes, it is important that you really give some thought to that because you’re right, kids, whether they are doing remote schooling, you know, they’re gonna have technology that they’re using for that. And there’s not much that we can do about that as parents. But there is a lot of what I call recreational technology time that kids are spending and we do have the responsibility to put some boundaries around that. We have the responsibility to do training around that. So, it can’t be a free for all, that, you know, all day long they can have access to the technology. So, again, it’s going to depend on the age of your kids. But first I recommend that you make technology part of a when-then routine team that we talked about earlier. So when your family contributions are done, then you can have your technology time. We also want to be very clear that when technology time is over, we put it away, and then it’s over. If there’s a lot of griping, or groaning, or complaining, or, “Mom, can I just have five more minutes?” And if it turns into a power struggle every day, then that’s not working. And so that tells you that probably that child may not be mature enough to handle the privilege of that technology. And we really wanna back off of it for a while, or we might need more training or whatever it happens to be.

But it cannot turn into a situation where the parent is the technology police and that every day is a battle because that’s not working for anybody. So we’re gonna put those boundaries in place. If kids cannot follow the rules that you’ve set forth based on your wisdom and what you know is appropriate for their emotional well-being and safety, if they can’t follow those rules, then they’re not gonna have access to that technology. And working with parents, I think that’s one of the most difficult things, Katie, because parents fear the wrath of their kids when they limit technology. And so they are fearful of putting the boundaries around it and then it turns into a free for all. So we have to do that. If kids can follow the rules, then they can have access to the technology because it is a privilege. It’s not a right. The other thing is that the training piece is really important. You wouldn’t send your kid out in the car without any training. Well, the same is true for technology. So teaching them how to use it responsibly. And there’s a lot of great online resources for that, how to use social media responsibly, training on your digital footprint. All of those types of things are really important. That’s our job. And so if we’re gonna allow them to have that technology, we need to make sure that we do take care time for training as well.

Katie: Gotcha. Okay. I think those are great guidelines. Another thing that seems to be an issue with certain parent-kid dynamics is back talking or acting sassy with parents. Any strategies for that? I would guess like everything we’ve talked about, probably the one-on-one time helps and just having natural consequences and systems built-in so you’re not constantly nagging, means there’s fewer times for that, but any other strategies or ways that you navigate?

Amy: You’re right, Katie, that’s probably the number one thing that parents bring to me us, like, the problem behavior, it’s that backtalk, and sassiness, and attitude. But the thing that we have to remember and we talked about this kind of at the beginning is that that is the symptom. It’s not the real problem. So if we can think about the backtalk as the symptom and not, like, that’s not the thing that we have to fix, we want to address the root cause of the behavior. And so as you said, we can do that by filling their attention bucket one-on-one every single day. That is essential. And again, if there’s a magic bullet in parenting, that is it. We also wanna be aware of our communication, and how much ordering, correcting, and directing that we do. One of the things that I teach to parents in our program is a parent personality assessment programs so, like, to figure out how your personality brings out certain behaviors in your kids. So for me, my personality is super controlling, naturally. So if I allow my natural controlling Miss Bossypants tendencies to show too much, I’ll naturally get power struggles. So for parents, they can learn how to sort of tweak their natural responses, so they do less ordering, correcting, and directing, and then use other tools that will get better cooperation. That will help reduce the backtalk.

When that does happen, again, remember that the child is having difficulty. There’s something else going on. So to show grace and empathize with that child. “Wow, you seem really frustrated. Wow, I can tell you are really mad about this.” Empathize with whatever it is they’re being sassy about, forget the sassiness for a minute and get to, like, what the theme is that they’re really upset about and show empathy with that. We’re gonna be much more likely to get through that if, again, we connect on that emotional level. The other thing that we can do is recognize that the backtalk, the sassiness, those are power behaviors. So when kids are exerting their power behaviors, it is usually an indication that they’re not feeling enough personal control, power autonomy over their own world. So there are strategies we can use for that. A simple one is giving them more decision-making opportunities. So think about areas in your family life, where you can get kids more involved in making decisions. Maybe it’s meal planning for the week. If the family is taking a vacation several months from now, get them involved in that. The more that they can have real-world decision-making opportunity, that is gonna really help their power bucket. And then the last thing that I would say and this is the hardest, Katie, is don’t take the bait.

When kids kind of serve up that sassy remark, that backtalk remark, it is so instinctive for us to respond with power, “You will not speak to me that way.” You know, “I demand respect,” or whatever the words are that you would say. But when we do that, it totally escalates the power struggle. So instead, if we can refuse to take the bait and just say with a smile and in a calm voice, say, “Sweetie, I’d love you too much to argue about this. Let’s talk about this when we’re both feeling more calm.” But just that smile on your face in a calm voice, “I love you too much to argue about this,” it just diffuses it. It says, “I’m not gonna engage in this power struggle. I’m not accepting your invitation and we’ll talk about this later. Whatever it is that you’re upset about, that’s important to me but I’m not gonna get into a battle with you.” So, again, I keep saying this, but we could talk for just a whole hour on backtalk, and attitude, and sassiness. But just sort of remembering those core issues of why it’s happening in the first place and addressing that will be our best strategy.

Katie: Yeah, I think you’re so right. It’s important to reframe that and I really also liked that you brought up the control autonomy dynamic because I’m just in the early stages of having to navigate this. So I’m by no means an expert. But it is something I think a lot about right now, just having a teenager and soon to have another teenager, and remembering what it was like to be a teenager as well. And I’ve read enough psychology to know, kids in that age, especially once they hit the teenage years, psychologically, they actually are trying to become more independent. And that’s an important psychological stage for them, as they’re preparing for adulthood. And also, as parents, we, of course, want them to be prepared for adulthood, and to have the skills, and the foundation they need to be independent, and to live outside our homes. And I’m seeing firsthand and definitely understand how difficult that is because at the end of the day, like, I still think of my oldest as my baby even though he’s almost as tall as I am. But realizing they do need to learn to have that autonomy and to feel control over and an ability to make their own decisions. In our house, we turn this thing on its head. So most people have heard the saying, “With great power comes great responsibility.” And we tell our kids, it actually works the other way. “With great responsibility comes great power.” When you show us that you’re responsible, we want to give you freedom, and we want to give you the power to make decisions. And so we have constant conversations around that. But just because it’s so top of mind, for me, right now, I’m curious, are there any, like, guidelines or ideas that you have for navigating with teenagers when certain levels of autonomy are appropriate or is it very much case by case based on the maturity level of the child and the relationship with the parent or how do you handle that?

Amy: First off, I just love what you just said, “With great responsibility comes great power.” That’s amazing. The other thing that I just want our listeners to remember is that this issue about needing more autonomy and control is absolutely an issue with teenagers. But it is the exact same thing with your two-years-old, three-years-old, six-years-old It doesn’t matter. Every kid at every stage has a need for autonomy and control. So I just don’t want people to think that we need to wait until the teen years to be thinking about this. But let’s talk specifically about what you asked when we want kids to be prepared to be successful in the adult world. And so we have to do our job to train them. So part of that is on an ongoing basis, always training them on tasks that they’ll need to do in the adult world, whether that’s managing their money, or changing air filters in the house, or car maintenance, or gardening, or whatever those things are, we always wanna be training them on adult tasks, so that when they leave the house, they’ll be prepared. But in terms of taking on more responsibility, one of the tools that I just love is called Convince Me. And this tool would apply when your kids wanna do something. Maybe they want to…you know, it’s a middle school or who wants to go to the mall on their own with friends, or somebody wants to go to a concert in the next town, or start driving, or whatever it happens to be, it is something that your kids wanna do that you’re a little bit, like, “I’m just not totally sure I’m ready for that.”

So you will use the tool to Convince Me. And so the way that works is you would share your concerns. So you would say, “You know, I understand that this is really important to you. Let me share my concerns about you going to the concert, or going to the mall, or riding your bike to school,” whatever that happens to be. These are my concerns. “So why don’t you take some time and think about this, and come back to me with your plan to address my concerns?” And so that’s what the kid does. They take some time, and then they come back, and they try to convince you if you will, but they do it in a way that takes all of your concerns into consideration, and then they share the plan that they’ve come up with. And so then, if you are comfortable with the plan that they’ve put forth, you can say, “Okay, I feel comfortable with that. It seems to me that you’ve thought through all of the possible things that could go wrong, you have a backup plan in place. That sounds great, let’s go ahead and, you know, do whatever you’ve asked to do.” And then you see how that goes. If they do well, then that makes you think, “Wow, yes, you know, he did a really good job by taking on this additional responsibility. And now I feel comfortable giving him more responsibility in the future.” Or if not, if it didn’t go so well, well, then that tells you, you’ve got more training to do.

We have more work to do in terms of responsibility. But the reason that I love this is because it requires the child to understand your point of view. So we’re fostering that empathy. And then they have to use their reasoning, and decision-making, and planning skills to come up with something to convince you that would address all of your concerns, but still, let them get the outcome that they want. And so it’s just a great strategy for adult life, right? We’ll be doing the same thing in our jobs or in group projects in college, or whatever, and you can start doing this really, as young as six or seven. Obviously, the problems and the issues will be different. But you can use these strategies, you know, all the way through into the teen years. And it’s great for kids and it’s great for parents.

Katie: That’s so great. I’m writing that one down to remember for sure because, you’re right, it puts the control actually in their hands. They’re getting to have a chance. And it removes all those things I used to say as teenagers, like, “You don’t understand or you don’t listen to me,” or whatever it is because you are listening as well, like you said, and then you’re having them pull from skills that will serve them their entire lives to develop, and potentially be able to get the outcome they want if they are able to do that effectively, which I love. I think there’s also crossover here when it comes to schoolwork or homework and how to navigate that. I’ve personally always taken the approach that even though I homeschool teach them, I’ll teach the concept but I’m not going to handhold, and babysit, and go through every problem with them. That’s school, that’s actually their work and I want them to learn how to kind of autonomously work through it themselves. And I feel like we have a good rhythm on this because we’ve been home homeschooling for so long, but I hear from a lot of parents who say things like, “It’s just getting to be so much. I have five hours of homework with my kid every single night after school where I spend, you know, three hours trying to get my first grader to do worksheets.” And any advice for parents who are trying to navigate that.

Amy: Yeah, so that can be a real challenge and I totally feel for parents, especially if you have multiple kids, but there are some simple sorts of things that you can put in place to avoid that. First as with all things, you will be successful with homework and schoolwork if you have filled their attention bucket first. So yeah, if your kids are coming home after school, take that time to connect emotionally first before you start being the taskmaster and start with, “Okay, we have to get the homework done and what are your assignments,” and all of that, start with connection first. It makes everything else go more smoothly. The next thing is, have some homework policies in place. So one of your policies can be, “I am happy to help you with anything that you need in your homework, as long as you’ve done as much as you can on your own. And then you can come to me and let me know what you still need help with. Now, when you come to me and let me know where you’re having trouble, I wanna know your thought process for trying to figure this out.” So basically, Katie, I don’t want them coming and saying, “I just can’t do this. This is too hard.” I wanna know, “Okay, on number seven, I see this problem, tell me your thought process for going through it and where did you struggle?” That way, I know they’ve put some time into it. And they’re not just playing the helpless card. The other thing is, have homework help hours. So that means I’m willing to help you with your homework from 5:30 to 8:30. After that, I’m too tired, you know, that’s not gonna work for me. So have homework help hours, like your office hours, if you will.

That gets you out of the situation where they’re coming at, you know, 9:30 at night, “I can’t do this. And it’s due tomorrow.” And so really put your homework help policies in place. Again, I tell parents, “You’ve already done the fifth grade. Your job is not to sit there and you know, side by side with your child, while they complete their homework and you being involved in it.” As you said, you want them to be doing that autonomously. You’re certainly there to support but it’s not your job. I would also have a talk with the teacher and let the teacher know that you are working on training for responsibility in your home. And so you will be there to support your child in doing their homework if they need help, but you’re not gonna cook some prod and that sort of thing. And so that then allows the natural consequences to play out. So if the kid doesn’t get the homework done, then that’s a discussion they’re having with the teacher and you can stay out of it. I think, Katie, where we run into trouble is, parents feel like, “I’m gonna look like a terrible parent if my kid doesn’t get their homework done.” Let the kid experience the natural consequences at school, that’s gonna be much more effective and it’s gonna keep you out of the role of the bad guy. Obviously, if there is a learning difference or an attention difference are other interventions that are required, you can, you know, work with the teacher and the clinicians, and whoever is on your team to do that. But they should be autonomously doing their homework, just as you suggested.

Katie: Yeah, I’m a big fan of natural consequences as well. And I’ve never heard it framed as well as you did with when and then, which I think is that just the language of that is wonderful because it avoids the power struggle and it lets them easily understand it in literally two words, that this happens when you’ve done this. But you’re right, I think that there’s been a shift at least it seems like. Obviously, I’ve only parented this current generation, but it seems like there’s a shift even since I was a kid of trying to protect kids from natural consequences. We’re not wanting them to have to feel the discomfort of not getting a good grade at school or facing something that’s difficult. And it’s funny because I don’t think my parents had those same fears. I always knew I had to get my schoolwork done. And if I messed up at school, I was gonna get in trouble at school. They certainly weren’t gonna save me. And then I was gonna get in trouble when I got home too. But there does seem to be at least a little bit more protecting kids from natural consequences. What other ways can we gently and lovingly incorporate those natural consequences? Because I feel like as adults, that’s something we all deal with very much every single day, if we don’t do our jobs, if we don’t take care of our houses, if we don’t do any of the things that adults have to do. There are very, very real natural consequences. So how can we let our kids start learning that from the earliest of ages?

Amy: Yes, absolutely. In fact, Katie, you’re doing our course right now so you’ll be getting to this in step 3, where we talk about creating a consequential environment. If we don’t create a consequential environment at home, our kids are really gonna struggle when they’re out on their own and have to face consequences for the first time. So, you know, from the younger years, all the way up through the teens, we have to create that consequential environment. And some of those come from, like, natural consequences. Well, if you refuse to take your coat to school, you may be cold outside at recess. It’s the middle of winter, that’s just a natural consequence. But then there’s also consequences around personal responsibility. So you mentioned homework is one of them, that if you don’t get your homework done, then you’re gonna have to face the consequences with your teacher. One of the things that we talk about is implementing a no rescue policy. And a no rescue policy is for areas in which we’ve been through this a million times, whether it’s remembering your lunchbox and remembering the homework, or your sports equipment, or whatever it is, we’ve talked about this, we’ve trained on it, I’ve already rescued you, probably more times than I should have. But now I know that it’s time to implement the no rescue policy. And so that starts with training. And we always kind of position it in a very positive way because marketing is everything. “You know, you are really growing up and you’re becoming so responsible in so many ways. And so now this is an area where you can take responsibility.” So let’s say it’s the sports equipment. “So from now on, you’re gonna be responsible for packing your sports bag and remembering to take it, making sure you have your uniform, and your cleats, and all the equipment.

I’m not gonna get involved in that anymore. I’m not gonna remind you, that is gonna be your responsibility. And if you choose not to take that responsibility, if you don’t have your stuff ready, if you forget your stuff, I’m not gonna be driving it to the field.” So what that means, Katie, is, you know, I’ve taken time for training… Oh, and also part of this has to do with systems. So I would say since I’m not gonna be reminding you about this anymore, what systems do you need to put in place so you can remember what you need to do for soccer or for your homework or whatever it happens to be? So we’ve done the training, we’ve put the systems in place, we’ve sort of set the expectation that we’re not gonna rescue, now we have to let it play out and let the child experience the consequence. Again, bring the coach or the teacher into the loop, if that makes you feel better, so they know you’re not a slacker parent, but in fact, you’re teaching responsibility. And if he shows up without his equipment, you know, you encourage the coach to implement the consequences that he has in place. So it’s implementing that no rescue policy. It’s not for a once in a blue moon mistake, we all make those and as a family, we have each other’s back. We help each other out. But for ongoing consistent issues that we have talked about, then we know it’s time for the no rescue policy. So that’s one example and many examples of how to create a decision rich environment for your kids that are going to set them up to be accountable, responsible for their own choices and to be successful functioning in a teen and in an adult world.

Katie: Got it. And I also wanna hear the explanation because you use the word family contributions, which I love because I think chores has a negative connotation. And adults don’t do chores, we just contribute to the family as well. But I’d love to hear, like, how you first of all came up with that term and how you use that because I think it’s such a great alternative.

Amy: Yeah, it’s so funny you asked how I came up with that term, and I actually don’t have any idea. I don’t remember how I came up with it. But you’re right, the word chores just denotes drudgery. Nobody wants to do chores. That sounds awful. And when you call those things family contributions, it doesn’t make the task any more enjoyable. Nobody enjoys folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher. But it does reinforce to your kids that when you do those things, it makes a difference for our family. And again, part of that power bucket that I talked about is a feeling of significance. We all have a hard-wired need to make a difference, to be significant, to contribute to the greater good. And so for a child or a teenager, the greater good is their family. And so when they are doing those things, they are contributing. So I highly recommend that parents change the language on that. I will tell you, Katie, to this day, my kids still roll their eyes a little bit when I say family contributions. But that doesn’t stop me one bit, I still call them that because when they contribute, it makes a difference. And the other piece of that is that we need to remind our kids what a difference their efforts make. And this applies to your partner too. Even though it’s their regular job, let them know, “When you do that, that makes such a difference for me. That makes our home runs so much more smoothly. That’s a big job that I don’t have to do.” We have to remember on an ongoing basis to let our people know how much we appreciate their contributions because that makes them feel better about it. When they know that their efforts are making a difference for you, they’re gonna be more likely to want to do it in the future.

Katie: That makes sense. Yeah. And it’s a great reminder. A lot of these things, just even our language, and our reframing, and making time for one-on-one connection, those are all such important things with our partner too, not just with our kids. Yeah, I think those are such helpful things.

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I’d also love to hear because I know you’ve worked with probably now thousands of families. For people listening who are wondering like, “This all sounds great, and it makes sense. But does it actually work? And do you really see a big difference? And how long does it take?” So can you talk about kind of what is the typical path that someone’s family will see when they start implementing these things, but maybe tell us a couple of stories of families that have used these strategies and how that changed their lives?

Amy: Oh, my goodness, I could go on forever. But so there are some changes that you see immediately and some that take a little bit longer. So I’ll give you a couple of examples. The mind, body, and soul time that I mentioned, that tool about one-on-one time every single day, you will see a difference in your kid’s behavior in one or two days, promise. Like as I said, if there’s such thing as a magic bullet, that is it because it is getting to their core emotional needs. So that change you see right away. Now in the work that I do with parents, I like to make it really easy for them. So I teach it kind of in a step-by-step pattern. So you implement one tool, and then you build on it with the next and the next. And with each tool that you implement, you are getting better and better results. And that makes sense because all of the tools focus on giving kids the positive power that they have to have. But then also, the other tools are intended to sort of diffuse those power struggles, but in a way that’s more positive than we’ve done before. So the more you use the tools, in general, the behavior gets better and better. So with the mind, body, and soul time, you’ll see that right away. Now with sibling rivalry and fighting, that takes a little bit longer to implement and to see the results. You’ll see some initial results right away, but it won’t solve every single thing in the first week, of course. And the reason for that is so for you, you have a 13-year-old, your oldest is 13, Katie, what’s the age of your next child?

Katie: Eleven, almost 12.

Amy: Okay. So between those two kids, there’s 11 years of baggage or competition, rumblings, that have sort of been baked into the relationship. And so that’s an example that takes just a little bit longer to resolve because we have to teach kids the conflict resolution strategies and we kind of have to work at some of that victim competition that naturally happens because, right, the day that you bring that second baby home from the hospital, there’s some competition that is just baked in. That’s just the way it works. So those types of behaviors may take a little bit longer to turn around. But in terms of transformation, I would encourage your listeners to go and read our Google reviews, our five star Google reviews, the transformation is just amazing. And it’s parents who felt like they were failing at their most important job, they feel like they’re not even cut out for parenthood, they feel like they’re not meeting their kid’s needs like every day. It just is a cycle of frustration and guilt. And they just feel extremely discouraged. And then they start implementing the tools and things start to turn around. So we have so many success stories, whether it’s on, you know, getting your kids to sleep through the night, whether it’s the sibling thing that I talked about, whether it’s just the emotional connection with your kids, reducing the power struggles.

There are so many transformations. But, you know, as a mom of now I have young adults, like, I will tell you, that time just goes so quickly. And you wanna look back on it and think, “Yes, like, I really enjoyed that time with my kids.” You want your kids to look back on their growing up years and think, “Yes, I had a great relationship with my parents. Things weren’t always perfect, but when things came up, we dealt with in a way that was positive, and it was solution-focused, and we want them to have those good memories. So the transformation can absolutely come. The thing that I always tell parents, Katie, is that parenting is not intuitive. Like, just because you’re smart, and loving, and nurturing, and you’re a good person, that doesn’t mean that you have the tools to deal with temper tantrums in Target or, you know, the meltdowns, or the defiance, or the sassiness, or the homework hassles. Like, we don’t have that stuff intuitively. But the good news is, it’s things that you can learn, really simple strategies that parents can pick up and just make such a difference in their day in day out life with their kids.

Katie: Yeah, exactly. And so far, I’m really enjoying the course. And I know you have a couple of books as well, I’ll make sure those are all linked in the show notes. So for all of you guys listening, you can head over to wellnessmama.fm and find the show notes there. But just talk a little bit about the system you have in your course, in the books and what you recommend for parents. Like, where should they jump in?

Amy: Yeah, so our system is called the 7-Step Parenting Success System. And again, it’s kind of a very linear approach because that’s the way my brain thinks. But it teaches parents all of those tools that they need to bring out the very best in their kid’s behavior, but also to bring out the best in the parent’s behavior so they can get out of the nagging, and reminding, and yelling cycle that they have been in. So in the 7 steps, parents learn the tools in the toolbox. But then there’s also the more intensive advanced modules. So if you have a bedtime problem, if you have a mealtime problem, if you have a child, you’re struggling with schoolwork and homework for a child with ADHD, so there are all these very specific advanced modules to tackle specific problems. So parents can just progress through that and learn all of those tools and have the advanced modules. If they want to sort of test drive what that system is all about, they can take a free class that we have, it’s called “Get kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling.” I can give you that link too. I also have two books, “If I Have to Tell You One More Time,” and then the other one is called “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic,” which is all about unentitling our kids. So lots different places that parents can get information. I’d say definitely start with a free class because that way they can sort of dip their toe in and see if they like what I teach, and they can put those tools, you know, into place right away with their own families and see what kind of results they get.

Katie: I love it. So again, all those will be in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm so you guys can find them. This was such a fun episode. Our time flew by. And another question I selfishly love to ask at the end because I’m a very avid reader is other than your own if there’s a book or a number of books that have really changed your life, and if so what they are and why?

Amy: Oh, this is such a hard question. I’m sure everybody tells you that. But there are a couple of books that I love. So this first one has been around for a while, you may be familiar with it. It’s called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Dr. Carol Dweck. And it is a great read. It’s an easy read, but it’s all about her groundbreaking research on a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. And that applies to everyone, whether it’s, you know, sports, academics, your work life, but so important for your parenting. And there are things that we parents do that sort of undermine a growth mindset for our kids, particularly as it relates to praise. And so her book is really a mindset shift for a lot of parents. I’ve also incorporated a lot of her concepts into what I teach. So that’s a great one. Another one that I love, and again, this is from forever ago, but it is still a classic. It’s called “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk,” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. And again, super easy reads, like lots of cartoons. But it’s ways to phrase things to kids so that it’s accepted with an open heart, doesn’t invite a power struggle but allows you to get things done. So, again, as I said, it’s a classic book, but it is one of my favorites and one that I always recommend to parents.

Katie: I love both of those suggestions. And like I said, this has been such a fun interview. I think it’s gonna help a lot of families. And I’m going through your course right now so I’ll make sure that link is in the show note as well. But thanks for the time and for all the research. It’s just been fun.

Amy: Well, thank you. I really appreciate the time to chat with you and thanks for all the important work that you’re doing out there for your community.

Katie: And thanks as always to all of you for joining us today and sharing one of your most valuable resources, your time with us. We’re very grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the “Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/positive-parenting-solutions/

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Anastasia’s Interview!

I already told you all on Anastacia’s IG profile that this week things are going to be a little bit different. Instead of a full chapter I used my journalist skills to write an interview, the one we’ve been talking about on past chapters.

I thought it was a fun idea and many of you don’t know that I’m actually a journalist so it was a great oportunity for my to put my knowledge to the test.

I hope you all like it and don’t forget to give feedback!

Thank you all for reading this crazy thing that I’m writing!

  “We want to step out of the Chili Peppers’ shadow”

A new album and the same old attitude give Dead Curse all the elements to finally reach the long way to the top of rock and roll

 The music world these days is weird. It’s constantly changing and many – too many – styles adjoin at the same time. You have a huge variety to choose. Some musicians play safe finding a beat that works for them and stick to it forever, others are not afraid of change and keep renewing their sounds from time to time. I’m about to have a conversation with a musician that belongs to the second group, a girl who is always testing new ways to show her talent and creating new melodies. Maybe that’s the reason she is one of the most valued producers in the last 10 years, being responsible of creating massive hits for artists like Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Imagine Dragons and even pop queens like Britney Spears and Madonna.

You would have thought that she takes the stage with over elaborated choreographies, but her personal music style is far from that. She leads a rock band, quite a famous one, a very original group that mixes sweet melodies with powerful lyrics and helps bring back the sensuality of old rock and roll acts.

She definitely exudes a sexy vibe. She takes a seat in front of me wearing a sports bra with the phrase “Not your babe” in the front and high-waisted leggings. You could think she’s coming right from the gym but her face tells a different story, no makeup and a smile after a yawn show her tiredness, “Sorry, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while”, she says, her big blue eyes shine and everybody in the press room at the Meadows Festival turn their heads to her. I’m in the presence of a star.

It’s been a wild year…

“Tell me about it!” She laughs. “We’ve been doing a lot of things and this tour took forever”.

But I imagine it must’ve been fun.

“Oh it was. It definitely was. We are close to the end now and I’m gonna miss everyone, but we are ready to take the lead, do our own thing now and kind of step out of the Chili Peppers’ shadow”

The Chili Peppers are big shoes to fill.

“Yeah, but we are not trying to fill them. They are who they are and we are a completely different band”.

How did this happen? Who’s idea was it of touring together?

“I think it was Anthony’s. Last year we did our usual festival tour, we played on some of the same festivals and I have known Anthony, Flea and Chad practically since I moved to Los Angeles back when I was 12. Anthony was my sister Barbara’s neighbor – He still is – and they are very close friends, so, you know, they were always together and hanging out at our place and they are like family to me. I’ve known Josh for a long time too, almost seven years now so there was a precedent there for sure. We started hanging out – they were on the finishing stages of planning their own world tour, and it was probably Anthony the one that had the idea to put us as an opening act. I was shocked.”

Why?

“Because our styles are very different, our audiences couldn’t be any more different so I thought it was a crazy idea but, at the same time, it was an incredible opportunity for us to gain new fans.”

And you did.

“Yeah, it feels really good to know that although they don’t attend the shows to see our band, their fans still support us. At first we were just going to do the Europe leg, but people started to request us in other places. That was a great feeling.”

But here you are, tired of touring.

“Not like that,” she laughs again. “It’s just that the schedule is crazy. Two weeks on, two weeks off. We should do all the dates together and finish this shit in six months, you know? The say that it’s because they want to spend more time with their families but, if we shortened this huge amount of dates they would all have even more time to spend with their children. You start touring for two weeks, you get used to that tour routine but then you have to back home… you get used to your home routine and then you have to go back to tour, again and again, and you don’t know what to do. My sleeping schedule is fucked.”

You would think that touring with the Chili Peppers is a wild experience.

“But it’s not, at all! I imagined Flea would be running around naked at every venue, but they all act like responsible adults now. They are grounded men that demand veggies and a variety of teas in their dressing rooms; they are quite boring to be honest. Chad’s the man for us in the other hand; he was always up for a drink every day off. Overall, it has been more like a religious experience, they have taught us a lot about this side of the music business and we will be forever grateful for that.“

You have a new album that will be released soon and you have said before that it’s a new age for Dead Curse.

“I’m so happy and proud of this record. It’s totally different from everything we have done before and is heavily influenced by this whole touring experience. We never really planned to put out another record so soon. We wanted to finish the tour, get some rest and then go back to the studio but we, as a band, were having such an inspirational rush and making all this amazing songs that we didn’t want to put it on hold, we wanted everybody to hear the new material.”

What makes it different from your other work?

“Musically, it’s a ground we haven’t covered before. It’s an album that was made to be played live, it has a big stadium anthem vibe, and at the same time it’s the perfect record to blast on your car or in your bedroom. It’s powerful, it’s pure rock… We have never sounded as tight as a band before. We have finally found a way to highlight each one of our talents. Nick plays incredible guitar solos, Mandy came up with the catchiest bass lines and at the same time Eric has never played those drums as hard as he did on this album. I’m proud; I think we reached the place we always wanted to be at as a band. We always, well… I always liked to adorn our melodies with a lot of extra instruments like trumpets, harps, violins, mostly because I started as a classical musician and I thought that was what made us different from the rest, but in this one we ditched all of that. We kind of started that in our last album, but here it’s just us with our instruments; I may have included some piano notes or maybe a synthesizer or two, but it’s mostly us showing what we can do with the basics”.

The recording process was different too.

“Yes, because we would usually enter the studio and start from zero there, but in this case we were making songs since the beginning of the year while we were touring, we would record in bathrooms in hotel rooms, and then we had some free time so we decided to enter the studio just to organize what we already had. We kind of recorded this album live because we would play all the instruments in one take and then I would add the vocals, while before, we used to make each sound separately. We also went out of our comfort zone and recorded the album in the desert. We did some takes in an amazing place near Joshua Tree called Rancho de Luna, and we also recorded at the Battle Born Studios in Las Vegas. So all of that influenced the sound vibe for this record.”

Why Las Vegas?

“I went to Las Vegas for a while because it’s this big show city and I wanted to translate that vibe into the album. I wanted it to be a big show album.”

Lyrically, is it different?

“Yeah. The last album we made was sort of a cathartic experience for me. I turned the pen to my experience and it was a whole album about me. This time I went back to diversity and I shared my experiences, but I wrote about Mandy’s, Nick’s, and Eric’s experiences as well, and even experiences of some dude we met in Russia, you know? It’s different and I’m glad that I went back to that. I don’t really like to write about me and that made the last album so hard to make, so I’m more relaxed this time because it doesn’t feel like my album but a band’s album.”

Why did you pick Josh Klinghoffer to produce the album?

“I know how much Josh likes to be in a studio. We developed a big friendship over this tour and he was dying to do something different than the Peppers at that point, so we thought he was perfect for the job. It was a challenge for him too, because he wasn’t comfortable with the kind of music we wanted to project, and although the original plan was to produce the record on our own, we realized that we needed an outsider’s opinion. Josh is a close friend and someone we trust with our guts. He has an amazing music taste and he brought all these British band influences that can be heard on some songs. Each member of the band, as individuals, has very different tastes in music: Nick is more punk, Mandy is all about what’s new and the R&B scene, Eric likes the old rock and roll, I’m a fan of soft rock melodies so we definitely needed someone that glued all of that together, and that person was Josh.”

With all those different styles you may think yours is a tough band to be part of.

“We are so different from each other. In the beginning, many people thought that we weren’t gonna make it. The age difference plays an important role too, but we managed to overcome it and the idea of doing what we love and expressing ourselves through music is what moves us. We know how lucky we are everyday for being able to do what we love and making a living out of it. Many fail on the way but we are keeping strong, even with our differences.”

Don’t you want to kill each other all of the time?

“Oh! Every day” She laughs.

Does it bother you when people say the success of Dead Curse is attached to your last name?

“It used to bother me, but not anymore. I came to terms with it. I won’t lie to you, I do think that being Nick Truman’s daughter helped us gain notoriety in a very short time, but if it wasn’t for our talent and passion for what we do we wouldn’t have come this far.”

In the past, you’ve said that being in this business while suffering from chronic depression could lead to suicide. Do you still think so?

“Yeah, every day. But luckily, I have an amazing support group around me that helps me when I’m down.”

How have you coped with such a long tour?

“Surprisingly, I haven’t had a panic attack or a full-on depression episode during this tour. I’m in my element, doing what I love and that helps a lot. I know it sounds cheesy but without music I wouldn’t be here today. I was having a lot of trouble keeping myself afloat back when I was 14, and entering a studio and starting to make music for such a big part of my life gave me the push and have a purpose to wake up every morning.”

Some can’t do that. Lady Gaga just canceled her tour because of her health issues.

“Mental issues, they aren’t just issues. I love what Lady Gaga is doing, erasing the stigma from mental illness. She is strong and we all need time to heal to give the audience the best version of ourselves.”

Do you give yourself to your audience? Do you care what other people think of your music or not, as long as you are happy with it?

“I think when you have talent and passion and you are so sure of the way you express yourself, it translates into what you offer to the public and they embrace things well done. I think that saying ‘I don’t give a shit about what other people think’ is such a strong statement. I just like to express myself, not thinking if people are going to like it or not, so… yeah, in a way I just don’t give a fuck” She laughs.

Dead Curse has been cataloged as a festival band, are you okay with that? Was that the road you all wanted to take?

“When we started the band we never had any goal of being as a certain thing, we just wanted to play music and to express ourselves through it. Everything that happened from there was organically done. I love to play at festivals. First you get to play to such huge crowds, you also get to see friends otherwise would never encounter and you get to discover new bands and artists, that is something I love to do. Festivals are all fun and games. We just had the best experience ever headlining Glastonbury which was something that never in a million years I would have thought we’d do.”

How did that feel? Do you think you reached a peak as a band after that?

“It’s all downhill from here”, She laughs. “As I told you, we never had any goals as a band to do things like that, but Glastonbury was definitely a dream come true for me. I attended so many editions of the festival and I always found myself watching a certain band play and thinking ‘One day it’s gonna be us up there’ so making that dream a reality stills feels so surreal. I still can’t believe we did that. I cried the day before, I cried during the set and I’m still crying today.”

Now let’s talk about style.

“My favorite subject besides music.”

You have a quite unique fashion sense with your stage outfits. How do you manage not to repeat a single one with so many shows?

She laughs “Anthony was always joking about that. About the fact that we don’t repeat outfits on stage while they are always wearing the same, but I don’t know, fashion sense is a extension of this express-yourself thing. I grew up in a very fashionable environment with my mother being a model and my sister Barbara being a huge clothes lover. I kind of adopted that taste for looking my best. It doesn’t happen all the time, look at me now, I’m a mess,” She laughs, “But with time, I’ve learned to wear what makes me feel comfortable. I ditched the heels long time ago unless I’m just performing one song. I don’t know how to answer to your question… if I like it I’m gonna wear it.”

What do you do with your stage outfits afterwards? Because I can’t see you doing grocery shopping in thigh-high Union Jack boots, encrusted with Swarovski crystals.

“You might be surprised! I have a room just for my stage outfits at home. It’s crazy and totally unnecessary.”

What’s the next step for Dead Curse? What can we expect?

We are going to release our record. ‘Live Action’ is going to be available on October 31, my favorite day of the year. We are going to be releasing our first single with the video next week, it’s called ‘Flesh and Bones’ and we’ll probably do a couple of promotional shows and maybe have our own headlining tour next year.

What’s the video about?

“Well, ‘Flesh and Bones’ is a powerful song about owning yourself, having confidence in your own skin and being able to kick any ass that gets on your way, so we wanted to take that and show it with the immigration issues in this country, showing that no matter where you come from you can have the life you’ve dreamed about here.”

Getting political…

“We have never gotten political before, but with everything that’s happening in this crazy country right now you must step out and have a voice.”

What are you going to do now? How do you see yourself in five years?

“I’m gonna get myself a husband!” She laughs.

“Live action” the new studio album by Dead Curse is out on October 31 and available for pre-sale on October 7.

[mpathicoracle]

did you think i was just gonna leave this post at this for the day? psh nah

have i left my desk at all today? lol no. mind ya business lmfao

anyway have the strilonde chaos (tw for alcohol, family death, emotional/psychological familial abuse mention. we all know how tragically painful the strilonde family is, and i love angst, so read with extreme caution ig)

The Strilonde family tree is honestly hella complicated and makes it seem utterly...concerning, one would say, but lack of information between certain parties made it weird.

So first we got the Lalondes, French-born and raised in the US, Radelle ("Alpha" Mom) and Robin ("Beta" Mom). Due to unknown familial issues, they were separated at ages 8 (Radelle) and 4 (Robin) into two different foster homes and, for a long time, lost contact with each other.

Then there were the Striders, raised in good ol' Texas, US, Derrick ("Beta" Bro) and Daniel ("Alpha" Bro). Due to their own familial issues, which neither talked about literally ever so technically very unknown, they were also placed in separate foster homes at ages 7 (Daniel) and 5 (Derrick). They didn't have contact until they were in their teens, and even then it was hard to stay in touch.

Daniel and Radelle ended up being placed in the same foster home, knowing each other as foster siblings. Radelle had a fling with a man when she was in her early 20s and had Roxy, the man apparently not wanting to raise a kid and dipped. Daniel had actually married for a time and had Dirk, but the wife divorced him as he was "too distracted by his damn movies," leaving him alone with Dirk, much to his chagrin.

Now, on the other side of things, Robin ended up meeting Derrick in college and they hit it off for a time. Robin was very much a party girl, which Derrick took interest in. Robin found herself pregnant with twins (Dave and Rose) and both dropped out of college to attempt to handle the pregnancy. Not long after the twins were born, though, they began to have... issues. Robin had still kept her old party-girl ways and was a bit of an alcoholic, and Derrick's own brash personality clashed against her own lax personality, so they divorced. Robin took Rose and forced Derrick to take Dave.

Not long after their divorce, Derrick came back into contact with his brother, asking for help "raising the little squirt," having heard Daniel had a kid of his own and had no issues raising him. Daniel agreed, helped his younger brother get a bigger, better apartment, and helped raise Dirk and Dave together (although he took most of the responsibility for a time), moving them away from Texas to NYC.

Robin, unsure of where to go with Rose, finally came back into contact with her long-lost sister and moved into her famous-author sister's home in upstate New York. The two of them, despite Robin's alcoholism, co-existed just fine and raised Roxy and Rose together as if they were sisters of their own.

By the time Roxy and Dirk were about 13, Radelle, Roxy's mom, was murdered, shot and killed in a drive by. It broke Roxy and she fell into the same habits as her aunt, unbeknownst to her aunt and cousin completely (Dirk knew, but he also knew he couldn't stop her, not when they were just kids). Daniel, Dirk's dad, tried to find the ones who killed his foster sister, and also lost his life in the process. Dirk fell into legal custody of Derrick, and Roxy to Robin.

hc and whatnot time!

Rose and Dave are only 10 minutes apart, Rose being older. She greatly enjoys rubbing that in his face, much to his chagrin.

Dirk is older than Roxy by 9 months. Despite that, Roxy bosses him around and acts like the older one more than he does, because she knows he won't stop her.

Dirk and Roxy aren't actually related by blood, either. Only by a simple technicality, their parents being foster siblings and all.

Dirk/Roxy are just about 3 years older than Rose&Dave.

Having a mother as an alcoholic, and later a cousin who did it in secret, Rose of course fell towards psychology to cope. Psychoanalyzing everything anyone does ended up making her a little paranoid of people for a time, until Kanaya later helped get it out of her system, for which Rose is eternally grateful.

Derrick ("Beta" Bro) hated being referred to as "Dad" or "Uncle," so he made Dave and Dirk call him "bro" up until his own death. Dirk always found it uncomfortable, but for the longest time Dave never paid it much mind. He was also incredibly manipulative, just as he was when he was still briefly wed to Robin ("Beta" Mom). It didn't faze Dirk as much, he found it a nuisance and would pull the same tricks right back on his uncle, but, again, it deeply affected Dave to the point where he found it incredibly normal. It was until he was a teenager that Dave found issue with it, which took him a long time to get over (#traumalol)

Dirk is, quite honestly, the smartest, most intelligent out of the 4 of them, IQ quite high. He ended up moving out at 16, Roxy eventually following him, and made a living for himself alongside his monthly allowance from the state after Daniel's death. Roxy, having been an alcoholic for 3 years, moved in with Dirk so he could keep her in check while she made the slow process of quitting.

When Dave and Rose's parents died, Dirk made a legal case to take them in and won, gaining legal custody of the two at barely 17. With Dave and Rose in the apartment with Roxy and Dirk, it really helped push Roxy to quitting, as she didn't want to disappoint them either.

Dirk, after the dating mishap with Jake (which, as previously mentioned, they made amends later in life), refuses to label himself as anything, mostly saying he just "has a preference for men, but doesn't care about what it's called". Roxy, rarely, likes to poke fun at him for it, but she knows it's his business if he wants to use a label or not.

Roxy ends up being demisexual panromantic, has an almost on-and-off thing with Calliope for a time while she was in the early stages of AA recovery, but ends up with her for good later in life, closer to adulthood. She's too full of love for her own good, and makes a point to show it every day, similar to Jade. She shows affection, especially platonically, in lots of touch (cuddles, hugs, etc.)

Rose is, naturally, lesbian and ends up marrying Kanaya in their 20s. Did you expect anything else?

It took Dave a long time to realize it for himself, as he wasn't really in-touch with his emotions for the longest time, but found himself as gay, becoming in a close relationship with Karkat. As mentioned in the previous reblog, they move in with Jade, who doesn't mind either way. Karkat is, honestly, one of a very rare handful of people (aka his cousins and sister) who he trusts enough to let his walls down. Karkat helped him with that in the first place, after all.

Roxy has, like, 5 cats in their apartment when they're teens. Dave is mildly allergic and she and Rose find it absolutely hilarious, especially when the smallest, which Roxy of course named Vodka Mutini, tries to cuddle with Dave.

does anyone wanna hear my personal humanstuck homestuck au hcs and stuff that's been in my brainspace for years now but I've never had the strength to actually write that shit cuz ain't no way in hell I can fluidly write 30+ characters simultaneously while matching up the timelines right-

would anyone wanna hear it-

[theantoniomabs]

As 2018 comes to a rushing halt, and we transition onto the year. It serves to step back and look at our past successes, and the whole definition of success.

This year has been filled with a lot of growth and learning.

I was able to work on my first commercial mural piece. I launched two new passive income projects, the stickers and the shirt designs. We launched a new online store, and we had heck of a blast with Acty2 at his Parking Lot Party, without counting the podcast and the amount of headway we’ve been able to make both in the music industry and the animation industry.

By making cover-arts for great artists and musicians like Fabian Gutierrez Del Arroyo and DonGa, as well as HF Diez and Yusepe Reguero, amonst many others. It’s been a wonderful year, yet however I still feel like there’s still much more for me to learn, and grow.

There are things in my life that I have ignored and have suffered in turn for ignoring them.

Things such as writing, meditating, a healthy lifestyle.

With the year coming to an end, it is the perfect time to reflect on what went wrong and why, as well as what went right and how to do more of that.

Writing

I fell off the wagon, I have to admit it. Change only comes once you realize that something needs changing. Without realizing and admitting it, nothing will truly change. So I admit it, I need to write more. Why exactly did I fall off, who knows, maybe it was life putting too many things in my way, maybe it was my own personal restrictions and constrictions that kept me from expressing myself. Whatever the reason may be, I understand now that I need to write, and often.

Writing allows me to look at what is inside my brain without having to be part of it, the simple action of writing a couple of things down can often bring so much needed propulsion to the jet engine of creativity that fuels me.

Writing also allows me to put my thoughts into a concise piece of content. This piece of content can then be shared across a wide variety of places, where others can interact with said thoughts and content, most will enjoy the experience, which is an activity of enlightenment in it of itself. It heals me, whilst potentially healing others.

So as a way of furthering my journey to successes. I will make it a priority to write more during 2019.

Meditation

I have been running away from my highest purpose for so long that now being faced first with my failures and accomplishments, I can see where I fell off, and meditation was probably the biggest hit my personal life took during the year.

Meditation used to be my safe zone, but when life sped-up and projects kept piling up on me, I found less and less time to make time to meditate.

This reflected in my emotional health (I became moody and irritable), in my education (I became too stress to want to sit down and practice, or even read), it even hurt my art (drawing or painting became a chore, I was no longer enjoying the process, I was simply running along with life, slowly losing more and more motivation and love for what I did as I went.) It even led me to smoke more; having less “headspace” gave me more stress overall in life, which led me to develop negative habits in order to combat this newly acquired stress in life. The more I grew, the more stress I took on.

The complete adverse purpose of growth, right?

With so many adverse and negative effects in my life from losing this 2hr daily meditation habit. It is only natural that I take the time to acknowledge the loss and to affirm that 2019 is the year for meditation.

I may not be able to jump right up to my 2hr daily habit, but if I can meditate 10 minutes every day, that will be a step towards building my mental health again.

Healthy Lifestyle

I am determined, lately all it feels like is that I am losing that which holds me back, and wooowie, am I willing to let all of it go. I am determined, I have been eating better, sleeping more (despite it being 1:49AM, right now) and just been in a cheerier mood lately.

Just a neat little though to keep this year:

“Add some green stuff to your food”

Any plate can get even better with a couple of veggies thrown in, some diced tomatoes and onions really go well on an omelet, pasta, and a plate of nachos, so do more of that, enjoy the process of cooking.

2019 Good food body, here I come.

Sketching

Sketching has been interesting, ever since I got my by Inktober book from the awesome Christine Nishiyama from http://mightcouldstudios.com/ back in December I have been drawing non stop, this year has been going great for drawing, and the fact that I have a sketchbook where I can regularly note down my thoughts and ideas, has truly helped me focus my mind and stop wasting time looking for random loose papers and notes.

I was so inspired by the Sketchbook by Christine that I’m making my own, stay tuned for more news on that, excited for that to come out.

Creativity

I’ve been really creative in general, this blog and the new life I hope to bring to it during the 2019 year will be a testament to that, however I have one little thing to say about this topic and that is this:

YOU NEED TO READ THIS BEFORE YOU DRAW EVERYDAY!!!

O DIVINE POESY GODDESS-DAUGHTER OF ZEUS SUSTAIN FOR ME THIS SONG OF THE VARIOUS-MINDED MAN WHO AFTER HE HAD PLUNDERED THE INNERMOST CITADEL OF HALLOWED TROY WAS MADE TO STRAY GRIEVOUSLY ABOUT THE COASTS OF MEN THE SPORT OF THEIR CUSTOMS GOOD OR BAD WHILE HIS HEART THROUGH ALL THE SEA-FARING ACHED IN AN AGONY TO REDEEM HIMSELF AND BRING HIS COMPANY SAFE HOME

VAIN HOPE—FOR THEM FOR HIS FELLOWS HE STROVE IN VAIN THEIR OWN WITLESSNESS CAST THEM AWAY THE FOOLS TO DESTROY FOR MEAT THE OXEN OF THE MOST EXALTED SUN WHEREFORE THE SUN-GOD BLOTTED OUT THE DAY OF THEIR RETURN

MAKE THE TALE LIVE FOR US IN ALL ITS MANY BEARINGS O MUSE

That is the Invocation to the Muse as translated by T.E.Lawrence from The Odyssey of Homer.

It has been the single most liberating piece of writing I’ve ever experienced in my life, just give it a try, print it out and hang it in your studio, read it write before you go to work and feel how the muses guide your divine hand right into the ZONE. (you know what I’m talking about *wink* *wink*)

Murals

God it was so nice to work on my first mural this year. I had done some mural work in my youth but the intention were never truly the right ones. I don’t think I’ve ever told this story on the blog, but here it goes.

When I was young I had a bit of a graffiti/street artist phases, and one of my very first illegal projects was to tag a military base, as life would have it my career in criminality ran very short, since I was caught right on my first try. After much back and forth between going to prison or community service, I was basically sentenced to paint 3 canvas paintings and 2 murals for our high school class.

That was basically all the experience I had on painting murals. Then this year after a ton of work with Acty2 as his on-call graphic artist I met Quintín Rivera Toro and that led me to work on a huge mural for TASK and the Tostado team.

That mural spawned 2 other murals of which I am quite proud of.

The first one is the test magician character I did as a test for the pattern work across the TASK Mural lettering. This character design was later turned into a sticker that is part of an upcoming collection with female led skate magazine and IG influencer @Femst_.

Family Tree

Skate Mage

The second mural being the mural commissioned by my mom. “The Family Tree.” It might not be much, but the fact that I was able to make this with Erika in about 2-3 hours is outstanding, and the way it pulls together her family room is wonderful. Truly a wonderful use of my abilities, and I very much know that all the experience we are getting by making these types of murals will serve us when creating our more creative works.

Lately I’ve been thinking I can do a couple more character design murals in my own apartment. This is definitely something to follow during the coming year.

Music

The music project has been so much fun, it’s gotta me into very interesting performance type situations with my contemporaries, and I must say I truly do enjoy rapping and singing, it’s quite a passion. Earlier this year I also met Sro a tremendous musician and mixer, check out his music here:

https://sromuchsound.bandcamp.com/

Podcasting

Chucks!!! Podcasting is opening all sorts of doors from me, from sponsors and passive income to becoming a place where people gather to hear positive messages of growth and enlightenment. Feels really good, check out some episodes here:

https://anchor.fm/mabsartspodcasts

Inktober 2018

Inktober 2018 was crazy! But I got through it all, I won’t be doing anyone the disservice of going over each individual piece, especially when we’re already like 5 months over it, so here’s a .gif of all the pieces I did for Inktober

Affirmation Work

I feel like a lot of the things I’ve been planting in my mind through meditation, visualization and affirmation work has been manifesting at a divine speed. It feels very good, but for some reason I still have a little voice inside me telling me that I need more, or desire more, or that things are wrong, or I’m not safe. Whatever it is finds a way to yell it out at the top of its lung, hoping, just hoping that I will stop, and I will let it get trong again, but that will never happen, depression no longer rules me and I won’t let it get a hold of me again, I know that as long as I am the source of my own light, nothing will stand in my way,, and most importantly, not even myself.

Passive Income

Did I mention that I have all sorts of income now? Uffffff, it feels great to know that your river is never gonna dry up, that feels really good, it gives me a lot of peace of mind. One of the many income streams comes from the merch store, check it out we have all sorts of neat stuff to purchase.

Traveling

I have it in my plans to travel this year, I’m not sure where will be the first place I will get to travel but I know that traveling is definitely in my horizon. My aunt wants me to go visit her during Winder, my little brother wants to go to a Convention in Cali and I wanna take my girlfriend to New York, we’ll see which one happens first. I leave it all int he hands of god.

All in all 2018 has been a good year, and 2019 is gearing up to be the best year of my life, just as 2020 and 2021, and every year before that. The sea of possibilities is limitless and I hope to float along it gleefully.

Have a wonderful year and blessings be onto you.

In light of this all then, what is success if not looking back at your ups and downs with heart shape emojis over your eyes.

~ Antonio

What is Success? As 2018 comes to a rushing halt, and we transition onto the year. It serves to step back and look at our past successes, and the whole definition of success.

[cynthiajayusa]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/02/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks.html

[demitgibbs]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/183119013920

[nonestcurrentis]

Because I never get any asks (TwT), I'm just gonna say fuck it, and do them all myself. Maybe you guys will find out something new about me!

Thirteen: A lot of things, to be honest... maybe how intense I get about my current favourite show/movie/anything... for example, right now I'm doing DW episode reviews on my personal IG, in my story. I don't think anyone ever actually reads them, but I enjoy doing it.

Yaz: Recovering from my mental health issues. While I'm aware I might never fully recover, I'm making steady steps, and that's all that counts.

Ryan: I used to be very socially anxious and awkward when I was little. Now, I've got a great group of friends, and I'm quite the conversationalist if I'm in the right mood, both irl and online. My greatest accomplishment.

Graham: Absolutely yes. No question.

Sonic: Earphones! Can't go anywhere without music, or my mind goes all over the place.

TARDIS: Oh God, I really don't know... so many places. But maybe back to Paris again. Loved it there.

The Woman Who Fell To Earth: More easy than I used to, but finding ones I actually want to speak to and be around all the time, even when I've had enough of the world is hard.

Ghost Monument: At home, no question. I'm blessed with a pretty great home, whether that be actual home or the city I live in.

Rosa: Oof. I can't think of any at the moment. I'm sure I have some, just no one comes to mind. Maybe Eliza Hamilton?

Arachnids: Deep water. Heights. Dizziness. But most of all I fear death.

Tsuranga: Thankfully never. Hope I keep it up.

Demons of the Punjab: Well... the only thing I can think of is that my paternal grandpa was adopted as a child, and we don't know shit about his biological parents, so that side of my family tree is a complete wild card.

Kerblam: I'd travel. Study anywhere and everywhere. Pursue acting maybe?

Witchfinders: I despise sexists and misogynists from the very depth of my soul. Thankfully, I never personally faced either. I hope it stays that way, though I'm not positive it will.

It Takes You Away: Huh. Maybe my maternal grandpa, cause I never got to meet him. I always wondered what he was like.

Ranskoor Av Kolos: Maybe one, but it was such a long time ago I doubt either of us remembers it. Frankly, I don't think the girls remembes me anymore. I don't even know what happened to her.

Resolution: The Ood, if they count as monsters. I just adored them! If not, then probably the Vashta Nerada. They were interesting.

Jodie: Until about a month ago or so, I couldn't pronounce 'oblige' properly. To be honest, I'm still unsure about it. Oh, and when I was little, I pronounced 'fashion' like 'fusion' for some reason.

Tosin: Not really, no. It's a good franchise, but not my cup of tea.

Mandip: Dance Moms. I know all the drama is scripted, but I just love it!

Bradley: I'd just probably take over hosting a quiz show or sth. I like laughing at clueless answers, mostly because I don't know them myself.

Custard Cream: Any and every biscuit without raisins. But mostly ones with chocolate.

The Bum Bag™: Casual and comfortable 95% of the time. Not really one for dressing up, although I do go for it from time to time if the situation requires it.

Pting: I'm more mature and serious than I look.

Tzim-Sha: Not hands, not very good at that. However, if you provide me with a fencing saber, I'm coming for the British and American governments to help you guys out.

thirteenth doctor asks!

1. thirteen: what’s something about you that other people might consider ‘weird’? 2. yaz: what’s your greatest ambition? 3. ryan: what’s one challenge in life you’ve overcome? 4. graham: do you consider yourself a homebody? 5. sonic: what’s the one item you couldn’t live without? (besides your phone!) 6. TARDIS: if you could go on a trip to anywhere on earth right this moment where would you go? 7. the woman who fell to earth: do you find it easy to make new friends? 8. ghost monument: where do you feel most at home? 9. rosa: who’s a historical figure you look up to? 10. arachnids: do you have any phobias? 11. tsuranga: have you ever had to stay in hospital? 12. demons of the punjab: what’s something interesting about your ancestry / family tree? 13. kerblam: what would you do with your life if money wasn’t an issue? 14. witchfinders: how do you deal with sexism? 15. it takes you away: if you could bring back one person from the dead for a conversation who would it be? 16. ranskoor av kolos: do you have any enemies or unresolved grudges? 17. resolution: favourite doctor who monster? 18. jodie: do you pronounce any words weirdly? (much to the chagrin of your mates?) 19. tosin: are you a fan of star wars? 20. mandip: do you have any shows (keeping up with the kardashians) that you watch as a guilty pleasure? 21. bradley: if you were the host of a television show, what would it be about? 22. custard cream: what’s your favourite type of biscuit? 23. the bum bag™: what’s your sense of fashion like? 24. pting: what’s something that most people wouldn’t guess about you from your appearance? 25. tzim-sha: let’s be real — is there anyone in this world you would 100% be ready to throw hands with?

[honeybellsurveys]

•́ε•̀٥

Do you have a little sister? I wish :( The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  Too many times to count. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? Always. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? Sort of. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Nah. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? Yeah, once or twice. Does virginity matter to you? Not really. Do you know anybody who was abused? Yes. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Not if we are close. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Not really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? For sure. Are you good at admitting your problems? I find it hard to do. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Not with anyone currently. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No, my phone is always on silent anyway. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Sometimes, but I haven't in a long time. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? Yes. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? All the time. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Lmao ya’ll gonna think I'm crazy. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? Oh my god that would actually be amazing, imagine all the knowledge you’d be able to learn and all the deep friendships you could make. Who did you last fall asleep with? Ruth Ann. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Rose gold. Who were you last in a car with? Katelynn, her bf and Angie. What color was the last vehicle you were in? Silver. Have you had “the best night of your life”?  I hope not. Toilet papered someones house? No. Who was the last person you high-fived? A girl named Amy I met downtown last weekend lmao. Do you own a romper? Yes. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Idek. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? I have both so. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Don’t remember. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I don’t. If not, do you want to start a business? ^ Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? A pair of period panties lmao. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? Nope. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? Nope. What do you make wishes on? Shooting stars. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Hot water. Do you like trees? Yes, I love all plants :) What’s your favorite Paramore song? That’s a tough one omg but probably The Only Exception. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Baby Pink or a pretty soft yellow !! Do you think you are pregnant? No. Do you like the ocean? I love it, water makes me so happy. Are you too shy to ask someone out? More along the lines of too insecure. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yeah. Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Maybe, I wanna see The Nun. What are you listening to? “Reflection internal”- Nujabes. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Almost. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? I don’t live with my parents so there’s no need for that, I'm on the third floor of my building though so if I ever did want to it wouldn’t work out lmao. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Wouldn't be embarrassed to buy any of them. Do you still own a VCR? I have one lying around back home somewhere. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yep. Do you own a nightgown?  Yes lmao. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? Cardi B. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No one has ever made me it :(( When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? Idk. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? Idk when I'll eat them next but I like them. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Yep!! Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? I guess I sort of have engaged in it before but not really because it lead to a real relationship not long after lmao, however if I had no romantic feelings for someone I would prob engage in it now. What’s your favorite thing about spring? The rain, new life, the melting snow and the smell that’s always in the air. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? Never tried it haha. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Nah. Have you ever given blood? No but I'd like to. Do you like the way you grew up? Yes I had a very happy childhood. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Read. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Mine ig. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? I’m not working. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No, I still am a teen haha. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? Competitive swimming if that counts. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? No. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Trip to Alberta. What’s something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I can be kind of distant and very quiet at times. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Not a full on beard but they had a lil bit of facial hair. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? Of course. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? French. Do your parents have gray hair? No. What’s your favorite Katy Perry song? Don’t have one What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? Finished my English assignment and figured out the first two questions on my math. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Started university and met lots of great people. What is your favorite Starbucks’ drink? I don’t go there much but I like their pumpkin spice lattes and refreshers. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? They’re all from my mom haha. Do you like Skittles? Sure. Do you blow dry your hair? Yes. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized. What song is the catchiest song you know? 365 So Fresh! What is your greatest life accomplishment? Don’t know yet. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? I don't leave those. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? Neither. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Not really idk. Do you own any records?  Yep. Who was the last guy you called? Idk. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? I’m too tired to think about this. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? My whole being is unique and uncommon. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? They hung up on me lmao :-) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Sloppy and sexual with lots of tongue. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Cuddles. What do you think about anime? LOVE. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? I can’t remember who that would be. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? There is like a Christian one being held here thanksgiving lmao. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Chicken noodle soup. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My nipples rn since they are newly pierced haha. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Loved learning about Russian history. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret cool water lily, smells so good. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? My ex. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? I’m not a super avid believer but I find it to actually be pretty accurate sometimes and I like to learn about it, it’s fun. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? Idk I believe in so many conspiracy theories there are a lot. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Class this morning. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? To breakup with my ex, I think it was the right decision for both of us although it really hurt and still do sometimes. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I always say i’m Slytherin even though I don’t even read/watch Harry Potter. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Travel the world. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Dunno. What was the last thing you quit? ^ Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Of course I like to help both, it depends on the situation which I'd like to help more. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed?  Not sure. What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? No idea. What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? X. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Nah. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? My sexuality. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? An English research paper. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? I have a roommate n I lover her :) the university put us together. What scares you about getting older? The physical effects health wise. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? Raised up ducklings in my closet hahah. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don’t know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Pretty much. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? Black n dark brown. Who last slept in your bed besides you? My ex (my bed back home) no one has slept in my dorm bed besides me yet. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I’d heavily consider taking them back but I mean. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? BTS!! I’ve been on the Kpop grind lately.