#gonna do one more again to be safe
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Funny stuff happens on twitter sometimes dkslfjsdlkf
#these tags are dedicated to the person who told me to stop hiding headcanon info in the tags#im still doing it LKSDFSDFKLFJ#anyway some exposition for my tumblr fans:#J never sleeps. like ever#if she does “sleep” she usually does it sitting in the drop-pod#a lah inuyasha style LMAO#if that makes sense#she never even slept during Tessa's sleepovers#she'd just lay there letting her mind wander#But it always stressed Tessa out that J never relaxed#so one day she was finally able to convince J to TRY. just once.#the first time J ever slept and the first time she truly let her guard down in that manor#was curled up. as small as she could be. next to Tessa.#J was so scared of being found. of being hurt for stopping just once.#so Tessa sat with her the entire time. So she could feel safe enough to finally rest#J can't sleep because it means she'd have to physically stop#and after so long since she the last time she was allowed to rest#I don't think she knows how any more.#and if she did I doubt she'd let herself stop for even a moment#because stopping means letting it catch up to you#its easier just to keep moving; isn't it?#its easier then facing the fact she'll never lay next to her ever again#or smth idk im not a writer lol#ANYWAY thanks for reading :]#murder drones#serial designation j#serial designation v#uzi doorman#tessa is mentioned but I don't really think it warrants a tags :p#I really should be making text posts if im gonna make tags this friggin long
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kidnapping townies off the street and making them over pt 2!
#ts4 cas#s4mm#the sims 4#s#simblr#ts4 townie makeover#thinking abt getting rid of my clothes cc bc i never use it for my townies tbh now tht the game has more items it's fun to make outfits#also i think im gonna do a sim dump soom? i just re installed tray importr i was scared bc i wasnt sure if it was safe again#the last one was a lot of fun but it took me like an hour to settle on a hair bc i wanted their ears to show more#also i might make the third sim and the purple + green sim frm my last sim post to be bffs
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Following the chilling conclusion of All That's Left's first season, Mac and Layla and their friends find themselves scattered across a divided Los Angeles a year after their successful return to town. Matrix Corp has taken control— "With humanity's best interest in mind"— but with our protagonists' knowledge of Opportunity's destruction and Houston's unexpected fall, they know better than to trust the corporation and its near military-sized security force. Closed district gates separate them from one another and a new threat lurks just outside the city's walls— but resistance is on the rise, and it is only a matter of time before truth comes out. [SEASON ONE HERE]
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
#all that's left#edit:misc#nuclearedits#OK HIII here is season two :D i hope you guys like ittt the playlist is very funky just like the one for season one heehee#reblogs encouraged btw!! i love reading your guys' thoughts on stuff like this especially my original stories :^)#the opening theme is so good it works so well. very similar to the first season opening with wouldn't it be nice#wide shot of los angeles from the sky with the closed districts and one district in ruins because they let ghouls in a year back#with the song playing in the background as the camera pans over to show how bad the situation is after like#a little text intro that explains what happened in season one and how they made it back to los angeles safely for their happy ending#but. well. now there's this! and then the title shows in the screen and the song continues playing while you get like#a sequence of random shots from what life inside town is like now that matrix corp has taken control. are you seeing my vision#anyway i have a lot to say about the whole playlist again like with the other one but i won't do that here right now#this season would be fun because it jumps around more between different guys whereas in season one it was all one group#now you get a lot more interesting perspectives and there's additions to the cast and gabriella gets her own storyline#because she's stuck in some neighborhood outside the city walls with like. HUNDREDS of ghouls in slumber#and there's no way for her to get out of there safely. but she's going to try anyway#obviously this is never gonna be an actual tv show but i wish it was. i really wish it was i have so many visuals for it in mind
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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this convo hitting so different if ur a lolth drow like minthara
#ntm shri'iia's initial fear at the start (and what lead her to eventually break her oath (accidentally!!)) was her getting hatecrimed#bc she's a drow. bc she's been told how much the surfacers hate her kind and how they are the Enemy#like if surfacers are scared and wary of lolth drows bc of what they do up there i think they'd be scared and wary of surfacers too bc of#what they've been made to believe in. and the fact that kindness or anything Good generally does not Exist or is very scarce in their#society so getting treated better is something that doesn't come to mind (more so for shri'iia bc she was raised in the Braeryn where#the drow nobles go down there to terrorize the poor people. like i dont think she had that luxury or chance to experience goodwill UNTIL sh#was dropped off in the surface and was given the benefit of the doubt -> which is more than what she expected or what she was given before#but anyway that convo where minty says they begin to see you in the same light probably ‼️‼️ alarmed her#bc i think she's only starting to become comfortable and safe around other people. like this is early act 3 shri'iia too#it does take her a long time to get accustomed to other people and let her guard down. then minty says something like that and i think it'l#set her off. like she's gonna start getting paranoid again. then vampire abduction happens the next night she's like OUP.#takes the astral tadpole out of her own fear and paranoia bc she's had that belief that having power and strength will make her feel safe#(it does not.) it's the same reason why she took the tadpole in act 1 in the first place#since she takes it after breaking her oath and feeling like she's significantly weaker. shri'iia can't feel like she's lacking in anything#ever she needs that security net that she's strong enough or capable enough and she needs others to know that about herself too she's too#insecure. and i think having two instances where her paranoia gets ticked off will push her to take the astral tadpole. like its#really out of impulse. and i think part of her oathbreaker arc is her learning how to tame that paranoia too and just generally learning#how to feel comfortable and safe. but anyway. thats part of the reason why i like minty#to be the one who gets kidnapped hehe. second part is the toxic yuri of it all 🤤🤤🤤#shut up about bg3.
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Very quick doodle based on a Mormon church located about...a couple hours or so from where I live.
Rumor is that a construction worker left a can of beer on the angel statue (top of the center spire) while the church was being built. No idea if it's still there or not. The church is closed off to the public.
#quick doodle#ULTRAKILL#Gabriel#Gabriel ULTRAKILL#Mormon church#my guess is that someone WITH BALLS OF STEEL has removed it by now#I say balls of steel because I heard the beer was left on the tip of Gabriel's trumpet/horn#either that or a good gust of wind blew it off#if not WELL...no one's gonna want to drink it now#flat af by now and probably moldy or SUPER not safe to consume at this point#I could be wrong#if anyone wants to research or knows more than I do then go ahead and correct me NICELY#I'm not religious. and AGAIN it's a rumor
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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Emotional about first days of Lauren living with Erwan, I need a moment.
#Lauren being miserable cause he was beaten up and his violin has been destroyed#Erwan doing everything he can to make him feel better and not to worry about money or anything and trying to be funny and cheer Lo up#Lauren being very polite and unsure about everything but Erwan trying to make him feel like home#Lauren wanting to go cause he doesnt want to cause more problems or to bother Erwan and the old man panicking cause he is afraid that#if Lauren goes out now he is gonna run away from the city and Erwan will never see this beautiful boy again#before that the were meeting a few times a week cause Lauren was playing on the street and they would hang out together#and they became friends and Erwan was the first person Lauren trusted and tbh he is the only one he knows in Paris#or his entire life tbh Lo has no one#so Lo is complicated cause he feels safe with Erwan but also it's just too much for Erwan to handle and yeah they are friends but also they#knew each other for a little over a month#but he wants to be safe and have a home and change his life for better.....#brb im crying
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thought again how overwhelmingly lonely akira would become after everything while time does its healing. u go from having a twenty-something ppl around u at all times to being alone. no one to knock on ur door in the morning, no ppl going in & out, no chaos of sudden fights. even in the (more likely) case where akira forgets its like. this haunting feeling of having forgotten something u shouldnt have. guy who goes to every social gathering ever to have that chaotic energetic experience of having so many ppl around again
#stardust speaking !#meeting some of the most important ppl to u and losing them in a yr is uhhh a lot#akiras had a lot of themes of not wanting to leave their world just yet/see through what theyre there for#as well as questions like 'what will /i/ be doing next time x happens?' in a very...hm. accepting way? casual?#actually idk if theres ever been any point where its been 'yeah probably a year and then we'll see what happens'#but considering akira went from 'i wanna go home;_;' to 'whats the way to make sure all of u are safe in the fight against the moon'#as well as what they knew about them appearing right after their last battle w the moon. theres. suspicions. i am sure of it#either way there Is that one 1.5 segment too.......#I LOST MY THREAD#but. lots of stressful topics too#since akira knows how many wizards THEY had to summon and the implication the old sage summoned at least one too#thinks about some of the drusilla event lines again.....forget being special i wish we had met under normal circumstances......#i had more to say about this topic but it also feels like just repeating myself i just think its gonna SUCK for akira#thinking about some lines in kk's diary too...T_T very akira to me. ill go find them again l8r
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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#i am at my fucking limit lol#i need to leave this fucking town and this fucking state the very second i can nail down both a car and a remote job#the fucking ''''affordable'''' housing company i rent from has once again opted to start harassing us#and we're once again gonna have to be in a fucking fight with landlords who think that we're making too much money to live in a $1200 apt#and want us to pay $2000 a month for this rathole we live in despite taxes and deductions literally absorbing a quarter of our earnings#so they want to absorb half of what we have left when ive yet to be able to even afford a car that isn't a fucking beater destined for scrap#at least not without using p much all of my current life savings in the process#so we have to instead get around by buses that refuse to actually show up take us on huge detours for no reason have lead feet that-#-exacerbate my chronic pain and - oh! how could i forget? is also horrifically mismanaged to the point where they're now canceling entire-#-bus routes including the one i take to work and ALSO GOES TO THE AIRPORT lol#and nothing will fucking change about the highway robbery rent hikes bc the entire state legislature is filled with and bought by-#-landlords NIMBYs and property management firms.#that's not even getting into the fact that ive got too many traumatic memories too many enemies and not enough good things to show for it#the only thing I've got in this fucking town is my partner bc not even our home can be considered safe anymore.#i want to take them and the home we dream of and get the fuck out bc i can't keep doing this shit#and i can't even fucking talk to them about this bc they need me to be the strong one for once#im so tired. i feel like im in danger even though i know we'd be able to tank the hit to our finances. but i would like to escape.#i know of a city in ny where our $1200 rent is considered the norm. there's also so much more to do within reach that isn't just. drinking.#i wanna go there. i may have had a desire to live there since our vacation there this past March.#but for now im stuck here dreaming of the future and fighting off desperation and despair in the present#this breakdown brought to you by: the bus purposely avoiding my stop this morning after learning my landlord wants to ruin us again#vent
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on one hand, my sibling only coughed a little. on the other hand, they go maskless everywhere, aren’t updated on their covid vaccines, went to prom last week with a large group of entirely maskless people, and give zero shits about walking around the house not feeling well. the last time they got covid, they came downstairs coughing and brushed it off by saying they felt fine until i made them take a covid test and it came up a bright red positive. i cannot do this shit again
#hoping so bad that the lady from my apartment calls soon and gives me a move in date#i cannot fucking do this again#anytime we go anywhere they act all concerned. ‘i don’t really mask but do you want me to wear one when we go in 🥺’#as if it makes any fucking difference when they go literally everywhere else maskless#i’m so tired of this#and i was starting to get better too! i feel a little more safe leaving the house. i could comfortably sit with my family without wondering#in the back of my mind if they were sick and were gonna get me sick#my sibling was coughing earlier too#coronavirus#vent tw#if i’m spiralling yall will know why#i have a little while until my aunt comes so i’m moving my shit into the basement until then
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really fun letting all of my favorite shows take turns being the "i can't think about it i can't think about it i can't think about it!!" bingewatch during finals season/associated crunch times. they're being inducted into a society
#so i watched s1 of the funny ballet show. AGAIN like i think this has literally happened in this context before#'oh man i have so much to do for today and i can't skip woahh' (watches 4.3 hours of ducky content)#not the only unproductive thing i did this weekend. there were several#anyway gonna keep this brief for obvious reasons but gahhh i love the funny ballet show#idk how i keep forgetting how cute ahiru is. like her slapstick in the first few eps is way more prominent#and i just like it!!!! shes a silly goose!!!!!!!(duck) and i like her very much she's great#rue's stepping into kraehe's shoes (literally) For Real On Purpose stemming from wanting things to stay the same forever. aughh#like mytho's her one escape from it all he's the one thing/person she feels safe with#and to stick to something stagnant and loveless just so she can have someone to project those feelings onto who won't leave is. gahhhh#i also always forget how much i love rue like. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY#i wish mytho changed more with each shard but it's always fun to see how the prev episode's shard affects the next when it happens#which is decently often#early fakir's comedically evil toxic bf thing is still shocking to me. they turn him around so fast and it starts when mytho regains fear#imo. once mytho can Undeniably Suffer the negative effects of fakir's treatment he can't quite bring himself to do it#fakir resorting to these awful authoritarian abusive ways of keeping mytho under his control bc he's desperate and scared and overwhelmed#is like. augh hes so interesting to me. night and day swap though it's crazy how much work those like 4 episodes before akt 12 do for him#anyway. i love it it's great it's always great. comfort show indeed + i gotta get back to work now + bye#no but fakir doubles and quadruples down on never budging on his treatment of mytho bc again hes scared but also i think it's a little like#he suppresses all his feelings so he doesn't lose control over mytho and justifies it with mytho's lack of feeling#when he tells mytho to forget about it and that emotions are useless and stupid he's talking to himself too y'know#i think there's a squishy sentimental part of him he tried very hard to crush out of himself to better protect mytho (from himself + tutu#+ the raven etc) and once it's clear (though not immediately) that mytho has feeling and a will to regain his heart he starts helping him#he embodies warped devotion and loyalty as much as rue and similarly to tutu. fakir and rue devalue their own and mytho's feelings#while ahiru only devalues her own. her brand of self sacrifice is something to be challenged and overcome in the same way#but shes able to start all this because she cares about what mytho's feelings Would/Could be > what they currently are (nothing)#ANYWAY. good show. i forgot about the greenscreened in/obvious live action effect fire/fog in a couple episodes that was funny
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Star Wars: The Acolyte OC Placeholder
Arlon Delste
Age: 25 (?) FC: Kit Young LI: tbd Force Sensitive
A descendent of an unplanned affair by Jedi Knight's Dagan Gera and Santari Khri, Arlon has grown up knowing to keep his Force connection as hidden as possible. He ends up becoming a bounty hunter, and becomes involved in the Jedi killings of 132 BBY, expecting it to be an easy pay day - instead, he ends up in over his head.
help from @astarionbae with deciding fc and name and basically being the reason he exists
#toalltheocsivelovedbefore#oc plotbunny#plotbunny oc#plotbunny#star wars oc#the acolyte oc#*mine#oc: arlon delste#have a named ancestor of krimari#waiting for the acolyte to end to determine if he'll have any ship from the show or an oc#but definitely leaning towards osha or mae depending upon how things turn out#though i imagine he flirts with literally everyone#probably gonna end up poly all things considered#tempted to once again say fuck star wars canon and keep certain characters alive even though i know they died to show no one is safe#but we'll see what if i ever end up doing more with him
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what burner ships do you ship
spraykit
#that’s all you need really. you are not allowed to call any other ship the best one when spraykit exists and is real and is perfect#real answer though? a lot probably way more than i should#my 2nd favourite is limepill. forever those guys are awesome#they could never interact again and id be fine . that one scene in burner 2 set me for life#and then there’s tissues x erasey which is like ya the dynamic is fun but that one is more cool on a narrative point#like they both seem to have a higher understanding of what’s going on and higher abilities. they both know shit#i just feel like 2 characters who are like that especially when nobody else is like that. they must be important to eachother in SOME sense#also the way tissues just trusts erasey and is very interesting in what theyre doing is cute#and erasey cheering for the strangers being safe. you cant deny how cute they are#and im rambling and there can only be 30 tags so im just gonna list all the others#pilly x polaroid is really good. limey x playdoh is nice despite the fact that im a little embarrassed to like it. playdoh x donut is Great#burner
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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