#gonna cry at the thought of woozi all wrapped up in a ghost blanket like in a bundle

[dalkyeom]

sunglasses ghostie says trick or treat!! she would love some woozi pls :)))

A lil ghostie woozi coming right up!!

[nyancheetosmusical]

Dead Evan Hansen AU

@totally-not-using-a-fake-name yelled in our gm one day about an AU where Evan’s suicide was successful but he becomes a ghost. And then him finding Connor in the woods trying to kill himself and stopping him. So, as per usual, we wrote it, with @just-musicals throwing in a thought every once in a while or screaming at us for hurting her boys.

@monsterunderthefedora is writing a fic based on this AU, go check it out and read it! It’s really awesome!

Bold is @totally-not-using-a-fake-name, Italics is @just-musicals, and Regular is me ( @nyancheetosmusical )

Attempted suicide and a fair amount of self-loathing occur, so here’s your warning if you need one

connor was out in the forest to do it himself

and he's trying to do it

and like there’s this kid there who's trying to talk to him it's like looking at a blurry photograph the kid is kinda there, kinda not ...probably just the traz doing its job "n-n, st-stoppp!" ....he recognized that voice just a little bit and Evan is watchiong this kid keep poppin pills in front of him and he doesn't know what comes over him but he just like pushes at Connor and all of a sudden Connor throws up all these half-dissolved pills and connor has no idea wth just happened but he's feelin woozy and now really frustrated cause he screwed up killing himself, too couldn't he do anything right? but Evan stays there and trys to comfort him as best he can he can't really touch him but Connor gets this kind of warm sensation like an electric blanket Evan is trying to wipe away his tears and connor in his half aware state freaks out this strange hand kind of passes through his face but it leaves behind a warm sensation and it gently pulls the tears with it "-w-ww-wha-what i-is...." Connor eventually passes out for a bit his body has to try and recover but he wakes up and this kid is still there he sits up very self-consciously "...what do you want" "a-are you okay, Connor? "'m fine. why do you care" he pulls his hood over his face he doesn't feel strong enough to stand up but he’s frustrated and embarrassed

this kid he doesn't know watched him try to kill himself ....who was this kid anyway? "J-just leave me alone, alright? I'm fine " Evan really does want to go, this makes him so nervous and you know he thought when he died he was going to be done with his troubles but he's dead and still anxious

(I had to leave for a bit but I had a thought that I got very excited about) EVAN IS ABLE TO TAKE CONTROL OVER SMOL PLANTS SO LIKE CONNOR IS HAVING A BAD DAY AND SITTINNG GRUMPY IN THE FOREST LIKE ANY STONER BOY DOES AND HE TOLD EVAN TO LEAVE HIM ALONE AND EVAN DOES BUT THEN ONE OF THE LITTLE VINES BY HIS FEET REACHES UP AND GENTLY BRUSHES HIS ANKLE AND ITS LIKE PETTING HIM "...dude stop" but he doesnt and the vine very carefully wraps around his ankle, like a little hug and then around connor the other vines very gently do the same just a ton of tiny hugs one literally hugs the drawstring on his hoodie and one reaches up and pats his face okay I'm gonna add this because why not so connor is sitting there really sad and evan is having a hard time trying to cheer him up, and connor just gets upset and tells him to "leave me alone" and evan just walks off and connor is sitting there and now that evan is gone...he realizes how much he wanted someone to stick around and be there for him for once and now he's just sitting in the forest with his knees pulled in because he keeps messing everything up then he hears some footsteps and he looks up and evan has this flower in his hands "I-I I don't know if you like these, but-" and connor just takes it and holds it in his hands He's quite. Evan thinks he made matters even worse and waits for the anger to come back But Connor just sadly smiles, "Thanks." Later he tucks it into his hair subconsciously And Evan is just standing there smiling for once And eventually They actually start talking The first time Connor cones to the woods and doesn't get high And thinks that Evan won't be there Because Evan can control plants and disappear and normal people can't do that So he thinks Evan's a hallucination from the drugs But there's Evan

Waiting for him And he's like... okay... Not the drugs then... Which makes him freak out freaks out that he freaked connor out Because this kid can do some weird stuff and if it's not the drugs, then is he just crazy? But once the initial freak out wears off, he and Evan vhat like normal and it's nice because Connor can actually hold a conversation when he's sober And this goes on for many many days, weeks And over that time, Evan's support has helped Connor improve But. One day Connor and Larry have a big fight. And Connor gets very high And goes into the forset Way deeper than he ever has before And he stops at this big tree And sees someone lying at the base of it And he sees the shirt and thinks, So he walks up And shakes the lump And he stops Because something is not right And he's really regretting the high because he can't tell what it is So he rolls Evan over and screams. Because what was wrong is that the figure was too stiff and too cold and the neck was too slack And the green eyes that he's leaned to associate with excited rambling about trees or tentative moments of affection are glazed and staring at nothing And there's moss and grass entangling the arms and the legs And the mouth is slack and gaping like the boy had been gasping for air when it... dies And Connor is screaming because the plants have grown over Evan and the bod is cold and stiff and must have been there for MONTHS He just screams and screams "EVAN!" "EVAN EVAN EVAN" And he's not thinking straight but he sure as heck knows something is up It won't stop raining or maybe he's crying Who knows The color of Evans dead eyes begins to spill out. Slowly it's like a pattern Dead, glazed over irises watch over Connor from everywhere Connor can't move The smell of a dead body is horrible But he can't find the strength to roll over WHY WONT IT STOP RAINING EVANS GETTING ALL WET HE MIGHT CATCH A COLD AND and ...die Oh Oh gosh Evans dead He's dead He's dead I wish i was dead Evan stop looking at me You can see too much of me Stop Stop You won't like what you see No one does There's been a dull pounding underlying this whole moment Maybe it's his heartbeat

Maybe his screams The forest floor is grabbing at him Like Evan was here But it's not Because I'm just high cause I can't stand myself sober Because I'm a broken trash bag I wonder if evan could see me Would he hate what he saw too The dull thudding gets stronger and stronger Its It's not thudding It's words Whose words Good maybe his dad found him Maybe his dad would finally give up on him If he could see him like this

... Yep Definitely his name being called It's so cold Like ice cubes He wished he could swallow an ice cube Choke on it See how long it took to melt Would he die first or would it melt "-NOR!! CO-" That That wasn't his dad's voice The eyes were back They were blurred, like an old photograph "CONNOR P-...PLEASE..." The crack in the voice shattered a canyon in the rock choking Connor he should chip his way out

that voice the rock was so thick how could he hear but he wanted to hear it had been a while since his name had been said and it meant good things dig dig dig oh hey he wasn't in a rock at all just in the mud trying to move trying to see who was there collapsed on Evan- Evan because Evan was- "Connor, please, I can't...." his throat felt like sandpaper he should probably stop screaming "C-connor, j-just relaxx a bit, okay? Please?" the voice was crying he wanted to listen maybe he should yeah it'd be easier than trying to move lets relax a bit connor let go he felt himself flop back onto the ground as if he was pulled the impact on his skull shook ...it was a pleasant distraction from the eyes floating around all fuzzy like a new pair of eyes joined them these had a face they were green like Evan's but so were the rest of the eyes The eyes weren't just Evan's the face was his too but this one looked more alive "Th-thank you...j-just lay there for a bit, okay? L-let it wear off" and a warm sensation spread through Connor it didn't feel normal like if a heated blanket gave you a hug that's what it would feel like if connor closed his eyes, the other eyes went away so he closed his eyes and let himself be he eventually comes to the high has mostly worn off he sits up and tears off a layer of grass and vines ....like a blanket that had been grown over him he's incredibly dizzy but eventually is able to see straight there's Evan sitting watching waiting "-E-evan....you're....you're..." evan has to look away ...somehow he had had the courage to stop Connor that day but couldn't stop himself good going Evan "yeah, I'm....yeah." "isss that why you can...you know, and we can't touch?" Evan shrinks into himself a bit Connor had been the one thing that had made being stuck here worth it otherwise he stayed in this forest and relived falling and falling and falling over and over and over and over “...yeah...I d-don't get it. I'm j-just here...and I can't-" he heard a yelp of pain he looks to see Connor have grabbed his own arm, only to feel the bruises there

oh no he had hoped he had discovered those at home... connor rolled back his sleeve bruises twisted down his arm strange spiraled patterns almost like... vines "I'msosorryIdidn'twanttodoitbutyouwerejustgoingtoandididntwantandthen-" connor looked up at Evan The boy looked afraid to come close but he could tell ghost kid wanted to "slow down, what happened?" ...could ghosts even cry? "You...you were..." Evan took a breath to steady himself "you started to...to scratch at yourself, at your arms, a-and then you started to scratch the tree, a-and you were hurting yourself and I couldn't..." "I didn't want you t-to do that" "s-so I tried to hold you back b-but um but you were re-real strong n stuff" "I didn't I didn't realize how h-hard I pulled...I'm sorry..." Evan had Evan had tried to stop him Connor thought of all the times he had been in his room alone hurting something clearly being wrong someone at the door asking if everything was fine a "yes" meaning no help me but the someone at the door couldn't be bothered to notice and so the hurt stayed but evan evan had tried to stop he had seen connor at his worst he had been insulted and hated and attacked by Connor over and over

and yet he had stayed stayed to help a stoned kid from ripping himself apart ....for someone very dead, it was the most human interaction Connor had in months he looked at the brusies running up and down his arms "....thank you." Evan stared in shock a a thank you? from Connor Murphy? hardly daring to hope, Evan got a bit closer he wanted to help, he wanted any human contact, anything Connor didn't say no when Evan got closer They sat together both broken thinking about their own deaths and wondering why had they not found each other sooner but they were there for each other now at least Connor eventually looked up at Evan "...Why do you just stay here?" Evan looked away "...where would I go?" "I...I dont want to watch my mother try and cope." "I don't have any friends" "I don't want to think about who I was" "If I just stay here, all I can really think about is dying...at least it's better than thinking about me...." ....connor determined that ghosts could indeed cry "what if you came home with me?" wait why did he say that evan looked over ["Wh-what? Y-you mean, like-" Connor looked away, slightly embarrased but also hurt why did showing kindness feel so strange? was he really that...bad? "You just seem kinda lonely out here. You're also kinda...dead, how many people can see you?" "....only one person." Connor looked over in surprise "really? who?" Evan looked back, confused "...you." oh duh "whu....anyway, your're probably lonely or something, i don't know, so....if you want, my house isn't great, but maybe it's better than the forest...?" Evan looked excited for a moment, but then looked away "I don't actually know if I can leave...I tried before, when I first...woke up, I guess, and I couldn't leave. I've been stuck here." Evan wanted to leave the forest he really did he was tired of looking at his body rot day by day watching his mistake be buried under forest growth but could he? He knew Connor had a rough home but anywhere would be better than here please, just let him leave... "come on, we can try anyway, can't we? A-at least walk me out of here, I don't really know where I am." Well, Evan could do that they didn't talk much as Evan lead him through the woods they talked a bit about their favorite bands quoted some songs Evan told some jokes he remembered they were all dumb and stupid but Connor found them so dumb they were funny they take in the view there's only trees forever and ever they focus on each other they begin to dream imagining the future what would they do? (...if they had one…) Bike the Appalachian trail? Write a book? Learn to sail? heh, that’d be cool they've slowed their walking Evan knows they're close to edge of the woods and so does connor but Connor just stops and he takes a breath letting the world around him go still and he opens his eyes and looks at Evan"just...thank you. Things have been so....you know, and honestly....right now, there's nowhere else I'd rather be" Evan feels his stomach drop "m-me too." "w-well, I mean I-I wish I w-was still alive and and you know um but I um-" he stops as Connor laughs a little "what?" "This whole situation....it's just so....so strange" "I'm trying to bring my only friend home so he doesn't have to live in this creepy a forest 24/7 cause he's a ghost and also does cool things with plants" Evan gasps a little " you think plants are cool? " Connor laughs again he forgot how good it feels to laugh "yeah, sure. Come on, I don't really want to go home, but I'm hungry." hey walk the rest of the way to the edge of the forest in silence they arrive He looks over at Evan "wanna see if you can, you know...." "y-you first, okay?" Connor shrugs and steps out of the forest he turns around "alright, come on, I think there's a bit of milk left and I am craving some milk right now" Evan is nervous well when is he not but he's extra nervous because he had let himself hope and now his hopes could easily be crushed he steps forward ...and doesn't go anywhere he tries again nothing he is still stuck in this forest this god damned stupid forest this was purgatory and it was full of the thing Evan thought he'd loved the most and now he was surrounded by his poor choices forever he looked up he could barely see the sky through the tree cover branches and leaves for forever he was trapped no hope no future just a dead kid in a forest Wonderful

Just

wonderful he probably deserved it to the world is meant for people who are smart and social and intelligent and kind not losers like Evan Hansen He looked out at Connor so close but so far and shook his head "I....I can't" Connor felt something inside him break a little Evan looked so hurt "what-no. That's bullshit" "I don't care what the laws of the universe are or whatever" "You're not staying in there, you're coming with me" Evan shook his head "I can't Connor, I c-can't! I'm trying but I but but I can't!...J-just go home, okay? I will, I'll be here when you when you come back" Connor took a step towards Evan "Yeah, well, I don't want that, and you don't want that either-" "WHO CARES WHAT I WANT? NO ONE ELSE DID!" Evan quickly shut his mouth Connor didn't need to hear that and right when he was so close to a breakdown too.... Evan needed to let him leave "Just go, please, you need you need to g-go home, a-and rest." Connor took another step "I'm not coming if you're not" Evan looked helplessly at him "I I can't-" "I don't care that you can't! You're gonna come with me!" "Why why do you care so much about a dead kiddd in a in a forest, Connor? I c-can't do anything for for you!" "YES YOU CAN!" Connor knew he was yelling but didn't stop "YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GIVES A DAMN AND I’M SO TIRED OF WAKING UP AND WISHING I HADN’T AND YOU MAKE THAT FEELING GO AWAY, I’M TIRED OF BEING SO UNHAPPY, SO P-...please, j-...just....I want you to-to help me...." He turned away to hide his tears he hated crying in front of people Evan was quicker he stepped forward and tried to wipe the tears from Connor's face like the first time they met when Connor had tried to overdose his hand passed through Evan's face leaving behind a warm feeling and the tears were gently pulled away with his hand they stared at each other Connor looked down "...Evan"

"Connor, please go, I can't help you-" "EVAN!" Evan flinched he was not a fan of yelling but connor wasn't angry he was excitedly pointing at Evan's feet "Look!" evan looked down they were standing in the street behind them was the forest he began to laugh, relieved he he was out he looked up there was the sky it stretched on for forever beautiful open speckled with stars as the sun began to set it felt as if a haze had been lifted from his mind n his mind he no longer heard himself screaming over and over he no longer felt the dropping feeling in his stomach of falling the wind racing past the impact on the ground he had learned to tune it out, but the feeling of dying over and over... it was finally gone he felt so much...free-er he looked at connor and connor connor murphy he HE WAS SMILING??? SINCE WHEN DID CONNOR SMILE??? He noticed Evan watching him with wonder and tried to look away and wipe the smile off his face it was still there a bit Connor had seen a change take place in Evan as he stood before him He became more...ghostly more transparent, a bit blurred, but still there but at the same time he was clearer it was as if the Evan he had been looking at in the forest had been behind a layer of static and now he was fully there it was weird but good "were um, were you gonna go home and and get some milk?" Dang, he couldn't keep the smile off his face "yeah. Let's go do that" and off walked Connor, his friend only a step behind home might be rough

but at least he had someone with him

Walking into the house hit something inside Evan It was Connor's house, not his own, but the concept of walking through a door seemed so foreign at this point There were no doors in the forest The house was lit, but quiet. There was some sort of muffled music coming from upstairs and talking coming from somewhere, but it was hard to place where. Connor slunk through the house, his boots trekking mud on the carpet, but he didn't really care. He was too busy watching Evan Evan who was looking at the floor under his feet and the ceiling above his head with a mixture of fear and awe. "Hey, Evan?" The ghost turned, there was a shiny glaze on Evan's eyes. "You okay?" "I just- I didn't- I never thought I'd get to walk into a house again... I thought I'd- I thought I was gonna be trapped there forever and I just...."

Connor smiled sadly. "C'mon.nLet's go get that milk." Connor padded into the kitchen, Evan following with gleaming eyes and a big smile on his face. Connor honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been so glad to be home. He pulled the milk out of the fridge and glanced at the cupboard where they kept the cups before shooting Evan a mischievous look. Evan gave a shocked laugh as Connor started drinking straight from the carton.

Suddenly, there were footsteps. A door opening. "Where have you been young man?" Damnit. Good feelings gone.

Connor turned around to face his father "Why do you care?" His father bristled Are you going t-" He stopped at a hand on his shoulder His wife had come down too "Connor, honey, what your father means is where have you been? We've been worried about you" Connor snorted Yeah right Worried about him It's not like they ever even took their eyes off Zoe they probably didn't notice he was gone He went to say as much when he saw Evan step out into his field of vision He looked almost scared ...scared of who? Connor? ...he was getting angry for no reason again He took a breath "I just...I needed some time to think, okay?" "Pft, more like you needed some time to smoke-" "Larry! Not now!" His father grunted and looked away before turning around and marching back up the stairs Connor watched him go Good riddance To his surprise, his mom came close and gave him a tentative hug "Sweetie, we were...a little worried about you, you were gone a lot longer than we thought" "...yeah. Uh...." Evan leaned in close to Connor awkwardly standing in his mothers hug "M-maybe say you're sorry?" Connor looked over, surprised sorry for what? But the way evan nodded at him just made Connor slip out a small "sorry", just loud enough for his mother to hear He felt her shock at the word But then hugged him tighter ...how long had it been since he had said sorry? She pulled back and Connor saw her eyes a little wet "You're here now, okay?" "Yeah, I guess..." She took one more look at her son before heading back up the stairs

Connor stood in shock The combination of the easy resolution with his father and intimate moment with his mother had him in frozen He saw Evan creep in from the edges of his vision. "You- That was a good thing to do." “Hey, it was your idea” "But you didn't have to do it. It was nice of you, She seemed happy." "I guess." Connor and Evan stared at one another for a while, just watching the other and taking in the events of the day. It had been a busy one. Their gaze was broken by the grandfather clock in the living room going off, One chime It was one in the morning No wonder his parents were mad. He crept up the stairs to his room. Zoe's room was across the hall. Music was seeping out from under the door, but he could hear the muffled snuffling of Zoe snoring too, so she must have fallen asleep with it on. Connor's mouth twitched. Whether it was to smile of frown, he didn't know. He slipped into his bedroom and van followed him in. Connor threw off his boots, but opted to stay in his clothes. He was too tired to bother with changing. Sleep pulled on his eyelids, but he forced them open. Evan. What would happen to Evan if he fell asleep? He watched the ghost staring at his bookshelf, examining the titles there. After a while, Evan seemed to notice that Connor wasn't sleeping "Connor! It's late! Err... early. Go to sleep." "But... What about you?"

Evan seemed surprised. "Me? I'll be... I'll be fine. I spent all that time alone in the forest, I'll last a night." "No.. I mean, if I was the reason you could leave... If I fall asleep, will you be forced back? Will you still be here when I wake up?"

Evan blinked for a moment and suddenly was flooded with worry what what if he did end up back in the forest? Back to his body? Where he always seem to 'wake up'? Connor seemed to be the reason he got out of the forest could he make him go back? he tried to hide his anxiety "o-oh, um , well...I, I don't know, b-but I'll be fine! Y-you need to sleep, please" Connor shook his head "but what if you-" Evan shrugged "what if I do? You-you'll come and get me." "...RIGHT?" Connor chuckled "of course I will. We'll figure this out, okay?" Evan put on a brave smile he was honestly terrified if he could make connor stay up for as long as possible that would be great but he cared too much about connor connor needed sleep Evan knew that anyway, Connor is the one who's still alive here His needs take priority over any of Evans "Sleep, alright? W-we'll see what happens."

Connor nodded, but tried to stay awake anyway.

There was a tight bind in his stomach that made him want to squirm If he fell asleep and Evan went back to that forest... If he fell asleep and Evan... Evan... The next thing he knew, his eyes were snapping open as Zoe pounded on his door. "-nnor? Connor! Oi! If you aren't up soon I'm leaving without you! Connor jumped up and looked around Sunlight was streaming in under his window. He was in his room And Evan? Evan was gone. Evan was gone Zoe was banging on the door and Evan was gone Evan was gone, gone, gone.... Banging "Connor-" "SHUT UP!" Silence. "Evan?" Connor whispered as he looked around. He frowned as he saw what looked like a bundle of static in the corner of his room. He went over and saw the outline of a person curled up in the static. "Evan? Evan is that-" "Co- Connor? I can't see... I can't- where are- Connor?"

Connor knelt down he tried to grab the blur but nothing happened his hands went right through and smacked the wall "E-Evan?!" crap crap crap can't lose him what is- the static was slowly disappearing but so was evan "wh-where are you-" “Connor wh-what's what's what's- like a broken record, Evan called for help over and over again nothing Connor could do and then the world twisted and connor stood up in a tree beside... "Evan?" but evan seemed to ignore him he took a deep breath, looked over the edge of the branch, and- "EVAN-!" And then Connor was falling, falling, falling, and he tried to scream but he had no voice, and Evan was falling with him and they were both going to crash and die and- With a start, Connor ripped back and gasped for air he was on the ground in his room what had- Evan where where was Evan with a near audible pop, Evan appeared in front of him he looked dazed and scared but almost...bored? "...you had to feel it too, didn't you?"

(there’s a fair amount more, and we’re still writing stuff for it. But here’s some of it for now)