#gonna be real actually i’m a pecan girl

[theolddivorcedzukka]

pls reblog if u vote i ❤️ democracy

[heartshapedwords]

Different Recipes II Fezco x Pie Girl

>> Pairing: Fezco x Female Reader >> Plot: Pie girl and Ash bond. Fez meets the parents (or at least the dad). Our lovebirds talk about the future.  >> Part 1 II Part 2 >> Warnings: Slight mention of Euphoria typical themes. Mostly just cute fluff. >> A/N: English is not my first language so cut me some slack ;) Comments, reblogs and likes are much appreciated ♥

I swear I had a request about reader and Ash baking a bunch of pies together but I can not find it anymore. So whoever sent it in, thank you! It partially inspired this part. ♥

The soft melody of a 60s folk-rock song echoes through the halls of the diner. While out front they are mostly drowned out by the voices of the patrons, back in her little corner of the expansive kitchen, (Y/N) feels herself get lost in the music for a moment.

Her fingers knead the dough as the pecan Pie in front of her is just waiting to be covered in intricate woven braids of sweet flaky dough.

Life is calm here and safe and quiet.

… that's until her dad's voice speaks up from beside her, a mix of confusion and amusement clouding his words.

"There is a child by the counter asking for the pie girl. A child with face tattoos. "

A smile pulls the corner of her lips upward at her father's words.

"I'm assuming he means you. Which has me a little worried. Why are you hanging out with kids who, I have to mention it again, have actual real face tattoos?"

"He's a good kid, dad," she laughs as she wipes her hands on the yellow frilly apron that's wrapped around her frame. "That's Ash, he's Fezco's brother."

"They name one kind Fezco and give the other a normal name like Ash? What's his full name, like Ashton or Asher or something?"

Another chuckle falls from her lips "or something."

Ash is leaning against the counter, an ever-present scowl on his face. He looks out of place, like he always does except those few fleeting moments in his own home, on his own couch. It fascinates (Y/N) and it also makes a deep sadness settle in the pit of her stomach.

He should be a kid. If only life had ever let him be one.

She sees the same sadness in Fez sometimes. He doesn't talk a lot about his childhood but he doesn't have to. It's in the way he is.

If she can do her tiny little part in making that sadness go away for just a moment, that's all she ever wants to do. For the both of them.

"Look who it is! What's up, Ash. Heard you're asking for me."

"What," he scoffs and regards her with sharp eyes. Always alert even around the people he knows. If he doesn't fully trust you yet, he's always keeping his eyes on you. Ready to strike any minute. "Can I not come around to get some pie or something?"

"I bring you pie every day. What's really up?"

He takes a breath, letting his gaze trail down to the floor. For a second (Y/N) can see a spark of the kid he is, the kid he should be. Bashful and timid and soft. She wishes she could see more of this. Wishes he'd let himself be like this more often.

"Fezco sent me over. I need help with school shit."

"Hope we're not talking about math cause I'm shit at that myself."

"Nah it's nothing like that. I uh -" he stammers then slowly lifts his eyes to look at her shyly through his lashes. "We got this bake sale shit happening tomorrow. I wasn't gonna participate but the money goes to funding some new things around school and whoever helps raise the money gets some extra credit and man I could use some of that. Not that I care 'bout it but uh - Fez does.  And I don't want to disappoint him."

This is probably the most she's ever heard Ash talk at once. Like his brother, he is a man of few words. Though where Fez makes em count because he's of the belief that words spoken without meaning are wasted, (Y/N) has the feeling that Ash just can't seem to find the right ones sometimes.

"Ash," she says and rests her arms on the counter across from him. "You're not gonna disappoint him, as long as you try. Fez loves you so much. I can't think of a single thing that would ever make him be disappointed in you. You are his whole world. You know that right?"

He's silent for a moment and she lets him be. She lets him find the words, lets him figure out his own feelings.

And when he's ready he looks back at her and grants her a tiny smile, hardly there but she can see it. "Me n' you now."

She thinks her heart might burst.

"So how many do you need?" She asks Ash as she secures the apron around his frame.

"They didn't give a specific number but the more I bring the more they can sell and maybe that'll earn me some extra points."

"Smart kid," (Y/N) exclaims, which earns her a sour look from the boy. He hates being called a kid, it's partially why she likes saying it so much.

"Well good for you I'm already two pies ahead. So you can have those."

"Nah, I can't do that. You were gonna sell those. I ain't taking away your income."

He's sweet. He's so sweet. She knows he'd hate to hear it but there's such a divine sweetness about this boy who has been so hardened by life. The same sweetness she sees every time she looks into his older brother's eyes.

"No worries. Those weren't for sale anyway. Just me testing out stuff. I would have probably brought them over to your place anyway."

"I see how it is," Ash jokes as his lip pulls up into a cheeky smirk. "We your guinea pigs huh? One of these days you're gonna fucking poison us accidentally."

"You want me to stop bringing you pie?"

"Fuck no!"

"That's what I thought. Now I have a few easy and quick pies in mind we can bake. Kitchen is gonna empty out in a bit as we close early on Thursdays so we'll have the whole place for ourselves. Well, us and my dad and his 60s music."

"Yo I was about to ask, man."

"It'll grow on you."

"I doubt it. But well, thanks for doing this."

She nudges his shoulder with hers before pulling out the ingredients for the first pie.

"No big deal. I do want something in return though."

"Fuck I knew it. What is it? If you want me to hook you up with my brother, that ship has sailed long time ago. Dude's absolutely whipped for you. Like he doesn't talk about anything else but his Sweets."

Though he says it with a sense of annoyance, the smirk on his face cracks the tough exterior. There's a sense of appreciation and approval swinging along with his words. It makes her cheeks grow warm. The fact that Fez is so enchanted by her, and the fact that Ash doesn't think having her around is all that bad. It means the world to her.

"Glad to hear it but no, not that. I want you to tattoo me."

He drops the whisk he previously played around with and regards her with eyes wide in shock. "You want me to what?"

"You did those yourself, right?" (Y/N) questions and points to the ink on his face.

"Yeah…"

"So I know you can do it. I want you to tattoo me."

"Where?"

"Like my ankle maybe, or my wrist."

"What do you want? And don't go telling me you want my brother's name or initials or some shit like that. I ain't doing that. "

The seriousness and determination in his voice make her laugh. He sounds a bit like a father scolding his kid for making stupid decisions,  and maybe he's right. Maybe it is stupid and impulsive. But what's life without a few bad decisions and a little chaos?

"I want a sunflower."

"A sunflower?"

"Yeah, just the head, kinda small. But a sunflower. Can you do that?"

He looks at her for a moment, eyes scrunched together in consideration.

"That something to do with Fez? The sunflower?"

She nods bashfully as she thinks back to the night at this very diner where their pining had finally ended and that marked the beginning of something she only ever thought existed in books and movies and songs.

"He gave them to me when we kissed for the first time."

"Okay, fucking cheesy but I'll do it."

“ How very generous of you.”

“ Yo, you better be nice,” Ash laughs and jokingly points his finger in her direction “or I’ll tattoo a dick on you or something.”

“ Hey! I’m helping you. Anyway, enough joking around let's get baking. “

And though he scoffs at her lackluster attempt of sounding like the host of some cheesy baking tv show, Ash still smiles. And making Ash smile is always a win in her books.

“ The fuck. How come you’re so good at this and mine looks like — that? “

Ash looks down at his pie, with his nose scrunched up in disapproval. It’s bumpy and uneven and chaotic but (Y/N) thinks there’s a certain charm to it.

“ I’ve been doing this for years, Ash. This is your first actual pie. We can’t be good at something immediately. “

“ Yeah, I don’t got the patience to learn this though. Don’t think you gonna see me braiding dough at home anytime soon. It’s driving me crazy, why do you like this so much? “ She has to think for a moment. It’s fun, that’s the obvious answer but it goes so much deeper.

“ It makes me feel calm. My head is so chaotic and loud and I overthink everything, all the time. When I bake, I can focus on the recipe and the batter, and the filling. I get some time away from my own intrusive thoughts. I think that is what really makes me love it so much.”

Ash isn’t much of a talker. He’s a listener though, and a good one at that. He noticed the little things, the in-between-the-lines things. Maybe it comes with the job, with the life. Or maybe it’s just the kind of person he is. But whatever it is, he makes for a good listener. And maybe, (Y/N) thinks, being vulnerable with him shows him that it’s okay.

“ Your head gets loud? “

“ Mmmh. “

“ Yeah, mine too. “

“ So what do you do? “

He glances at her from the corner of his eyes then quickly back at the dough “either I get angry and do something stupid or I put on a movie and hang out with Fez. Dude’s so mellow he gets everyone to calm down. “

She wonders if Fez knows just how much Ash adores him. Just how much he means to his little brother. He is so much more than a business partner. He is a brother. A friend. A hero. A dad.

“ Yeah he’s good at that, isn’t he.”

A comfortable silence falls upon them as they continue working on their respective pies before Ash speaks up again.

“ I’m glad he has you. I think — man I dunno how to say it. But Fez never got to have a good thing without worrying about other shit. He’s so busy taking care of grandma and the shop and the drugs and me, don’t think he ever stopped and took care of himself. I try to do it sometimes but it’s hard. ‘s good to have you around. “

She doesn’t know what to say to that. Those words take her heart from her chest and cradle it in soft, gentle waves. To hear anyone say that, but especially Ash, means everything.

“ Now don’t start crying or something. I can’t deal with crying girls. “

“ No?,” (Y/N) laughs trying desperately to keep the tears at bay “ well how you dealin’ with this?”

Before he can react, before he even knows what’s happening, she throws a hand of flour at him, dusting him in the white powder.

“What the fuck? “

“ Oh no, it’s a ghost. We have a ghost in the kitchen. “

“ I’ll show you ghosts”

In a matter of seconds, a flour fight breaks out. All the other cooks are long gone and it’s only the two of them. Running around the room, hiding behind counters while throwing hands full of flour at the other.

Sometimes life feels heavy and exhausting and like all it seeks to do, is push you down and break you. And other times, you feel like this. Other times you run around a kitchen throwing flour, laughing like a little kid, and wondering why life can’t be this way forever. Light and easy and — happy.

It’s already dark out when Fez steps into the diner. Some song he doesn’t recognize plays through the overhead speakers and (Y/N)’s dad sits by the counter writing something down on a notepad.

What really stands out though, what immediately sends a bolt of emotions through his chest, is the laughter ringing through the halls. Ash’s laughter. Sweets’ laughter.

There’s something indescribably powerful about this moment. Something that grabs him and doesn’t let him go. All he’s ever wanted in life was to take care of and protect those he loves most. He’s not sure how good of a job he’s doing but at that moment he thinks he might not be doing too bad. At least not when it comes to Ash and (Y/N).

“ They’ve been goofing around for a while now, not sure they’ll get any pies baked. “

(Y/N)’s dad is looking at Fez with kind eyes and a welcoming smile. It makes Fez feel a little uneasy. Not because he thinks there’s any malice there or that he doesn’t trust her dad. Fez is just not used to this. Parents usually aren’t his biggest fans. They don’t care why he does what he does. They don’t want to hear his reasoning. And this is not just any parent, it’s his girlfriend’s dad. That’s a terrifying situation in the best of cases. And his case has hardly ever been good.

“ Uh, hi. I’m Fezco. “

“ I know who you are. Kid doesn’t stop talking about you. “ her dad laughs as he shakes Fez’s hand. They’ve seen each other before in passing but never like this. Never one on one without anyone around to take away the awkwardness of the whole situation.

"Come sit down, man. Let's have a talk."

He'd rather do anything else than this, but what could he possibly say? No? Never. Sweets loves her parents, especially her dad, and anyway, Fez has been raised better than to disrespect the man who raised the girl he loves most.

He doesn't let himself dream often but sometimes, the very rare times it happens, he sees her. She and him and Ash. A life without drugs, without violence and pain and fear. If that future is to ever become a reality, that will include her parents too, to some extent. As she becomes part of his family, maybe he and Ash can become part of hers too.

Fez feels a wave of anxiety crash upon him as he sits down next to her dad. He seems nice enough but that don't mean shit.

"It's good to properly meet you. Been wondering when we'd finally get to. She's been talking about you non-stop."

Fez can't really believe that. He knows she appreciates him. Knows she's in love with him. But there ain't much he can see in himself that's worth talking about. Especially to her parents. He'd be lying though, if he said it didn't send his heart into a frenzy.

"She has?"

"Oh yeah. She'll kill me if she finds out I'm telling you this though so maybe let's keep it between us."

"Sure thing man, I ain't no snitch."

Her dad takes a sip from his coffee mug, one that says "Best Dad. Decent Boss." and pushes his glasses up a little before turning back towards Fez.

"She said you own a corner store? "

" Yeah. Used to be my grandma's but she got — she got sick. So I'm looking after the store 'n taking care of her."

"You own a store, take care of your sick grandma and raise your brother? "

"Yes, sir."

"All by yourself?"

There is no judgment in his voice. Just surprise. Maybe a little admiration. Respect even. Fez is not used to this but damn if it doesn't feel good.

"Yeah."

Her dad places a warm comforting hand on Fez's shoulder for a second.

"That's admirable. You're doing a good job. You should be proud of yourself. Glad my girl has someone like you."

"I don't know," Fez admits and shrugs his shoulders. "Think she could do better than a high school dropout. Don't think I can give her all she deserves.”

“Hey, Fezco. Man, don’t say stuff like that. You make her happy and that’s all that matters. She doesn’t care about the rest and quite honestly neither do I or her mom. We want her to be happy and that’s what she is. I’ve never seen her this happy before and you play a really big part in that happiness. I know it’s sometimes hard to accept these things when life has been rough. I did not have the best childhood and I made mistakes in my life and it took me a long time to realize that despite everything, I do deserve happiness and I do deserve good things. You’ve been dealt shitty cards, I assume. But hey, you did the best you could. I think you deserve to be proud of that. We’re all just trying to get by even if we don’t all get the same privileges. Same dough, different recipes. “

It means a lot to hear him say that. To hear this man, who knows hardly anything about Fez, tell him to be proud of where he is, of what he accomplished. Not the drugs or the shop even, but himself. Be proud of the man he is. Soft despite life being nothing but rough and ruthless.

“ Yo, that sounds a lot like something Sweets would say.”

“ Oh you live with that girl for a while and you start talking in pie metaphors. You just wait. “

The two of them share a laugh and it’s not just a laugh. It’s a silent agreement. A thank you.

"Hey dad, can you — Fez?"

She's covered in flour as she steps out of the kitchen and into the main room of the diner. Her hair, her face, the front of her apron. Everything is dusted in a coating of white flour. But her smile though. Her smile rivals the sun. It's big and bright and Fez thinks it's truly the best thing he ever had the privilege to look at. He loves this girl.

Fuck, he really loves this girl.

"You fell into the mixing bowl?" Fez asks, a smile taking over his face now too. There's something contagious about her smile, about her happiness. You want to capture it. Hold onto it for yourself. If only for a moment.

"Hah, no. Very funny. Oh god, dad are you interrogating Fez?"

"I'm doing no such thing!" Her dad exclaims and throws his hands up in mock innocence.

"Did he interrogate you?"

"Nah," Fez replies and shakes his head " we was talkin' about you actually."

"Me? Oh god, nothing embarrassing I hope."

"Only the embarrassing shit, Sweets."

Fez and her dad share a laugh at that and though she faces them with a discontent pout, there's a twinkle in her eyes and it lets Fez know that she appreciates him trying to bond with her dad. Maybe there is a future for him and his Sweets after all.

The pies are stored safe and secure in the fridge and Ash is sound asleep in his room. There’s an old movie playing on tv but quite honestly, Fez hasn’t paid attention to it since like 2 minutes in.

He’s too occupied looking at the girl in his arms. She’s resting on his chest, legs tangled with his. She’s wearing his shirt, smelling of his body wash and shampoo. He’s leaving marks on her life, no matter how small they are, and for a man who always felt like a silent observer watching his own life go by, that means everything. To be welcomed into someone else's life so enthusiastically and wholly. It’s a new feeling. It’s a wonderful feeling.

“ Yo, Sweets? “ he softly speaks up as his fingers rub gentle circles into her arm.

“ Hmm? “

“Thanks for helping Ash out. It means a lot. “

“ Oh for sure,” she answers and buries her nose in the fabric of his shirt before placing a quick kiss on his chest. “He’s your family and you’re my man. It’s what a good girlfriend does. “

“Your man, huh? Like the sound of that.”

“ Yeah? Well, you are. Thanks for hanging out with my dad, I know he can be a lot. “

“ Nah,” Fez exclaims and cups her face in his hand. “Your dad’s a good man. “

“ ‘s what he said about you too.”

He still doesn’t fully believe in all of this. In the sentiment of him being a good man. But if they see it in him, who is he to call them a bluff. Maybe they are right. Maybe they see all that life and society and pain ever made him foolishly believe wasn’t there.

“ So he likes me? “

He never cared much about a parent liking him. Then again, there never was a parent to impress as there had never been a girl. Not like her. He’s never felt this deeply for a girl before.

“Yeah, he does. How could he not, Fez? You’re kind and reliable and smart. “

He lets out a mix between a scoff and a chuckle at that.

“Ain’t smart.”

“ Yes, you are! You taught me math, remember? You are so smart. You’re just too humble to admit it.”

Sometimes he still doesn’t know how to respond when she tells him things like this. Not because he doesn’t believe that is what she sees in him, but because there are no words grand enough to really express what it means to him to hear her say that.

So he kisses her instead and hopes she can feel all he wants to say in his kiss.

“And you’re a pretty great kisser too, by the way, “ she mumbles against his lips as she pulls away slightly.

“Ah yeah bet that is why your dad likes me.”

“Totally. That must be what sold him.”

The two descend into a fit of giggles and Fez lets himself dream again. Of more nights like this where his heart feels light and he gets to be silly and careless and free. With his girl. His family.

“I’m glad he likes me, ya know. Wanna meet your mom too. “

“You do? “

“Yeah, feel like it’s the right thing to do. ‘n I wanna do right by you. Think if we have a future, then that’s the next step, right? “

She looks up at him with those damn eyes. The ones that he’s sure hold every answer to every question on earth. The ones that can cause wars and end them. The eyes that are home to him.

“You think so? “

“Think what?”

“That we have a future.”

“ Yeah for sure. I like to think so. Ain’t much sense in doing this if I didn’t think we had one. ‘s what I want for sure.”

She places soft little kisses up and down his neck and on his cheek. Everything feels so light. Like this is what life is meant to be. No pain. No fear. No guilt. Just softness and hearts full of joy.

“ You think about it often? The future I mean. “

“ All the time, Sweets. All the fucking time. “

“ So what do you see? “

He shrugs his shoulder and if he were to look at himself right now, Fez is sure he’s blushing. Never has he told anyone about those dreams before. About all he wants his future to be. Sharing those ideas, those dreams, makes them feel a little more real. Makes him scared that life will throw some more shit his way and take them from him. Sheltering them in his heart was safe, secure. But some dreams, he thinks, might be worth sharing. At least with her.

“ Dunno. You’ll take over the diner, that’s for sure. I’ll sell the shop, take the money to buy a little farmhouse outside of the city. Grow some fruits, strawberries and apples, and shit. We can even have cows and chickens. Then you can use the milk and eggs and fruit to make your pies. I’ll be done with the drugs. Sometime along the way we get married for sure. Have a few kids. “

“ Can we have a dog? “

“ One? We can have a bunch of dogs. Cats too. Ash will have a little house next to us for when he finds someone and starts a family. And we’ll be one chaotic bunch but we’ll be good. Life will be good. “

She covers his face in kisses. Sweet and gentle like her. His eyelids, his cheeks, his nose. And then she kisses his lips and though she says not a single word, he can feel everything she wants to say. Sometimes a kiss is so much more than a kiss.

“ That sound good? “

“ That sounds pretty amazing. Marriage and kids, huh? Very traditional.”

“ I’m all about the fairytale romance, baby. You know it.”

And as she lays her head back to rest above his chest, and her fingers lazily play with his, a thought sparks in Fez’s head and lights up his mind like a sparkler in a dark new year's night.

“ Hey, Sweets? “ he says, voice shaking slightly with anxiety.

“ Hmm? “ she murmurs into his shirt.

“D’you wanna move in with us?”

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Whiskey and Roses

Pairings: Arthur Shelby x Reader

Request: “ Whiskey Pecan Pie was so sweet!! Could you make a second part where they go on a date and confess?:)” - Anon 

Warnings: Brief mention of drug use

Word Count: 2154

__________________________

The business Tommy had called a meeting for hadn’t been nearly as important as the way Finn had made it seem. Damn him, pulling Arthur away from you, his only refuge from the darkness that seemed to consume his life. But whatever, he’d be going back to see you tomorrow anyways. 

Everyone had been mulling around the Shelby Company Ltd. after the meeting, Tommy not having given directions for anything but rather just filled everyone in on his newest diabolical plan. Arthur retired back to his office, away from the average blokes who filled the room, wasting their money on rigged races in the main room. 

He set the tart that had remained untouched so far on the wood of his desk and looked down at it, the warm feeling that his younger brother had stolen from him slowly returning at the thought of you. 

“You like her don’t you?” Finn’s voice asked from the doorway, a boyish knowing smile on his face while he leaned against the frame of the door. 

Arthur looked up from his pie and straightened his jacket out, trying to bluff his feelings away, “I don’t know what you mean. Like who?” 

Finn pushed himself off the wooden frame and walked into the room, “The girl from the bakery. The one who made you that.” He pointed to the tart, “What even is it?” 

Arthur sighed, knowing that he’d been caught. Around Tommy or John, perhaps he would have tried to conceal his feelings but Finn had this innocence and desire to be trusted by his older brothers that made him a perfect confidant for little schoolyard things like crushes. “I think she said it was a whiskey pecan pie? Or tart? I don’t fucking know.” 

“Well, is it any good?” Finn was doing a terrible job of hiding the fact that he wanted to try it as well because it did look undeniably delicious. 

Arthur shrugged, “Haven’t tried it yet.” He picked it up and broke a piece off the end before handing the plate over to his youngest brother for him to try. Neither of them needed to comment on the taste. It was amazing. It was salty but sweet and there was just the right amount of whiskey. The crust was buttery and flaky. It was one of the best desserts either Shelby boy had ever had. 

“Wow-” Finn said eventually, “You should marry this girl.” He added with a laugh. 

The thought of marrying you made his heart warm, “Yeah, maybe I should.” 

“Who are we marrying now?” Tommy asked, walking into Arthur’s office like he owned the place. Well… he kinda did. 

“The girl who works at the bakery that Arthur’s in love with.” Finn ratted him out and Arthur sent him a look of annoyance. 

Tommy stopped and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket, gesturing to Arthur with them, “You fuck her yet?” 

Arthur rolled his eyes, “That’s not all all girls are good for, Tommy.” 

The other two Shelbys looked at Arthur in surprise. That wasn’t a phrase they ever expected to hear from… well, any of them except for maybe Finn. “Is she a nice girl?” Tommy questioned. 

Arthur nodded, lovestruck “Pro’lly the nicest one I ever met.” 

“Then don’t marry her.” 

Finn’s face scrunched up, “What? Why?” 

“You know how we live, what our lives are like. It’s no place for a nice girl.” Almost seamlessly, Tommy threw down a file onto Arthur’s desk, “These are some of our records from the books. I need you to sign them and make sure they’re all in order before I have Lizzy file them.” Without another word, Tommy left the room, leaving Arthur and Finn in there. 

There was a heavy silence as the weight of what Tommy said hung over the room, “Maybe he’s right. I shouldn’t bring her into all this.” Arthur allowed his emotions to be silenced by his younger brother’s interjections once again. 

Finn shook his head, “No, Arthur. Tommy always gets what he wants, whether it’s a lay or a wife. Why shouldn’t you get to be happy too?” 

Arthur had never figured himself to be one for picking favorite siblings but he was pretty sure that if he did, Finn would be pretty high up on the list right now. “You’re right. I’m gonna ask her out on a date tonight.” 

**

Later that evening, Arthur stood just around the corner from the bakery, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other. He felt ridiculous. His hair was actually slicked back for once, something he never really put too much thought into since it almost always got messed up in fights anyways. Two pink roses tied together with twine were twirling in his hands, flowers that he actually paid for instead of demanding them or picking them from someone’s garden without asking. 

“You can do this.” He muttered to himself under his breath, finally working up the courage to take the next step or two towards the door before stopping himself. No, you can’t! You probably look like a fucking idiot! The self-depricating part of his mind screamed at him and he backstepped. “Dammit!” He groaned as he warred with himself. This shouldn’t be this hard. 

Little did he know, you were just leaving the bakery to head home for the evening. You walked out the front door, locking it behind you and sliding the key into your coat pocket before turning down the street to walk home. Arthur stood there - was he talking to himself? “Arthur Shelby, is that you?” You asked, surprised to see him over here this late. 

Arthur looked up at you like a deer in headlights. Shit, you probably saw him talking to himself. “Oh, erm, hello there Y/N.” He greeted awkwardly, trying to pretend like he totally wasn’t arguing with himself a moment ago. 

You walked up to him, the faint click of your heels carrying you to stand before him, “What’re you doing over here?” You asked curiously. 

Arthur ripped his hat from his head as quickly as he could without slicing his hands and rang the material with his fingers, “Um, well, I- um, I actually came over here to see you and tell you that I think you’re really kind and beautiful and wanted to see if you maybe wanted to grab a drink with me tonight?” How did you possess the power to turn this commanding man into a babbling mess of word soup?! 

Your face turned red and your eyes widened in surprise at the proposition, “Oh-” 

“Oh! And these are for you!” Arthur suddenly remembered, holding out the two little pale pink roses to you. 

You carefully took the roses from him, noticing that he actually took the time to pick off all the thorns so you wouldn’t prick yourself on them. Nobody had ever made a gesture like this for you. “They’re beautiful. Thank you. And I’d love to get drinks with you tonight. Can I just run home and change? I probably look and smell like a mess.” You chuckled, suddenly self-conscious about the flour that had managed to stick to your shirt despite the apron’s best effort to protect your clothes. 

“I think you look great.” Arthur looked at you as if you held all the stars in your eyes. Sure, a few little tendrils of hair had fallen from your updo from the day’s work and there were a few faint little streaks of white flour on your blue blouse but you smelled of sugar and fruit after the long hours of work. He didn’t mind the tiny imperfections one bit. If anything, he thought they only made you look more perfect. They were a reminder that you weren’t some celestial hallucination from doing too much cocaine or alcohol but that you were real and tangible and beautiful. 

“So where are we going off to drink then?” You initiated, taking a few steps forward until Arthur fell into stride beside you. 

“I was thinking the Garrison, if that’s alright with you.” He scolded himself right when the words left his lips. Why hadn’t it occurred to him that a nice lady, as Tommy put it, probably wouldn’t want to be somewhere like the Garrison. It wasn’t exactly known as a high class establishment… or an establishment where anyone of any sort of class went. Fights amongst drunkards weren’t uncommon there and that was when-

“Sounds good to me.” You chirped next to him. Arthur looked down to see you smiling shyly, not a hint of apprehension about the location he’d picked on your face. 

Arthur stammered, “You know the Garrison?” Did you even know what you were agreeing to? 

You nodded, “Yeah, I mean, I’ve never been in but I walk past it on my way to and from the bakery every day.” 

“Oh- oh, okay, then.”

How the hell had he managed to do nothing but screw up so far and still have you smiling by his side? Were you just being kind or were you blissfully unaware? 

The walk was short and filled with small talk that had flowed surprisingly well, just as all your conversations had since you met. When the pair of you walked through the doors of the pub, a lot of people chose not to regard Arthur’s presence until they saw the fact that he actually looked like he did his hair and bothered to take off his hat and hold the door open for you. And did he brush his mustache?! One sharp look from the eldest Shelby, though, sent all the curious, snickering eyes away. 

“What would you like?” He asked when you walked past the bar, his gruff voice sweet and soft. 

You thought for a moment, “Can I have a pint please?” 

“‘Nd I’ll have the usual.” Arthur told the bartender before leading you to a small booth in the back of the house, far enough away where the scent of whiskey and piss wasn’t reeking off the drunks. 

“I must say, I had you pegged for more of a gin drinker.” Arthur commented and you shrugged.

“It’s nice sometimes but I guess I felt more like a beer right now. And what about you? ‘The usual?’” You echoed, “Come here often?” You already knew the answer. Like you said, you came past here every night. You were more than aware of the fact that the Shelbys owned it.

Arthur froze up, “Oh, well, um- we…” 

“I’m only teasing, Arthur. I know you guys practically run this place.” You slid into the booth against the wall and Arthur took the seat across the table. 

“You do?” This was it. The moment the entire illusion he’d tried to create about him being a good man was about to come crashing around him. You’d call him a liar and a no good dirty scoundrel or so much worse. 

But none of that happened. Instead, you only nodded, “Mhm.” The bartender dropped your drinks off and you sipped the beer, noticing from over the brim of the glass the panic in Arthur’s eyes, “I do live here in Small Heath, Arthur. I know who you are. I know what you guys do.” Your voice wasn’t judgemental though, more matter-of-fact. Like you couldn’t believe he actually thought you were oblivious to the fact that he was one of the leaders of the Peaky Blinders. 

“And-and you still came out with me tonight?” He was in shock, not only that you knew who he was but that he’d been caught in his lie. But he wasn’t really lying about who he was, was he? 

“Of course, I did. I’ve known who you are since long before you ever came into the bakery. But you’ve always been so kind to me. And I can’t really deny my feelings for you.” You sipped your beer again before setting it down and leaning on the table. 

Arthur was trying to calculate what in the actual fuck was going on. You knew the truth and you didn’t hate him? “Haven’t you heard any stories?” 

“I’ve heard some.” You responded matter-of-factly, “But, in all honesty, gossip about a Shelby brother is always hard to come by with people fearing for their wellbeing and all.” 

“And you still want to be with me?” Arthur eyed you, unsure if you were crazy or naive. 

You leaned forward onto your elbows, hands almost touching his again, “Against all logic telling me that this probably isn’t a good idea, I can’t deny my feelings for you. Maybe it’s dumb, but I trust you. And until you prove to me otherwise, I’d like to keep it that way.” 

“I know I’m not a perfect man. Probably far from even a decent one. But you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and you make me want to be a better man.” Arthur paused, “‘M sorry. I’ve never been good with words.” 

You shook your head and grasped his hands gently, “I think you’re already better than you think you are.” 

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

The reader is nervous to tell Erik that she is attracted to women too and when he finds out he teachers her how to pick up women and eventually he lets her find one for a threesome.

That was a long explanation LOL.

Black women are art.

They come in all shapes and sizes.

All different textures of hair and tones of skin.

Y/N was a lover of women...literally.

She didn’t come to terms with that until she was about a year into her relationship with Erik Stevens. They were friends turned lovers. The day Y/N came to the realization was during one of Erik’s nude photo sessions. He was a very popular artist and photographer in LA. Y/N would always stop by Erik’s studio while he was working to admire her man’s work in action.

This particular day was a rainy day and a client had begged Erik to photograph her nude. It was late in the evening as well. When she walked in, Y/N’s heart stopped. She had to catch her breath. The woman was a walking flame. Tall, long thick legs, copious amount of cleavage and a whole lot of ass to match. Her pecan colored skin glistened from the rain and her short curly hair lay pressed against her scalp in pretty chocolate swirls.

Y/N could feel herself squirming in the faux fur lounge chair in Erik’s studio that he bought just for her. She could even see her man checking that woman out. Y/N wasn’t jealous or envious. She was looking without shame herself and the voice inside her head kept whispering take off your clothes, and she’s so fucking sexy...I wonder what she tastes like.

The minute the woman’s amber-colored eyes landed on hers, Y/N was in a half-conscious state. They had a little staring contest for at least a minute while Erik set up. The woman licked her lips, allowing her eyes to study all of Y/N. Y/N found herself blushing at that, unable to stare at the goddess any longer.

“Erik, who is your beautiful guest?” Her silvery voice made Y/N swallow spit nervously.

“Oh, that’s my baby girl, Y/N.” Erik looks over at Y/N giving her a wink. She returned it before giggling.

“Really? I’m jealous.”

She walks over to Y/N, reaching out her hand to greet her.

“Hi, I’m Raven.”

“Y-Y/N,” her soft slender hand was warm and slightly wet from the rain. Y/N wanted to lick the rain from Raven’s fingers.

“Such a pretty name...and such a pretty girl.”

“Raven....” Erik says playfully, “Are you hitting on my chick?”

“Maybe, is that a problem?” She sassed Erik.

“Nah, no problem, I understand. But she’s mines, Ray,” Erik looked over at them both with a lopsided grin, “Right, Y/N?”

“Right,” Y/N spoke in a breathy tone.

“She doesn’t look so convinced, Erik,” Raven leans in close to Y/N to whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, does he know?”

Y/N shys away, lowering her head to her lap.

“I see...” Raven gave Y/N a somber look before stroking her cheek with her pointer finger, standing straight and sauntering away with a switch of her hips that Y/N couldn’t help but admire.

That’s when she realized that she was really really into women. She came to terms with being bisexual and to stop denying it. The only thing is...how does she tell Erik?

—————————————

“Erik...we need to talk.”

Y/N wanted to have the “big talk” about her newfound sexuality with her boyfriend. Erik was in his darkroom developing polaroids. The red hue of the lights looked enticing against his almond skin. She’d been avoiding this with him for about a month since the last encounter. Now, it was eating away at her and she needed to get it off her chest before she exploded.

“Uh-oh...did I do something wrong?” He puts on a faux worried tone.

“No, babe. But...maybe I did.” She fiddled with her fingers while standing across from him. Erik’s eyebrows creased, stopping his motions all together to look at her.

“Y/N, what’s going on with you?” He steps around the table that held all of his developing equipment, “I already know something is bothering you I just didn’t wanna put you on the spot. I wanted you to come to me about it when you were ready.”

“I’m ready now,” she looks off to the side, “I think...”

“Don’t push it,” Erik reassures her before planting a kiss to her forehead over her curly bang, “It’s no rush, love.” He gave her one final smile before turning to walk away.

“ I’m bisexual, Erik.”

She clamped both her hands over her mouth.

Erik stopped in his tracks, his broad muscular back flexed as he turned to face her again. He was looking at her with a neutral expression, much to her worry. Y/N closed her eyes, bringing her hands up to wrap around her body. She needed something to do to calm her nerves so she paced back and forth in the darkroom.

“I-I’ve always known...no, I’ve confused it with just admiration but...but that day...in the art studio...Raven, you remember Raven, right?...yeah, Raven...”

She kicked the carpeted ground, her eyes staring down at the floor. Erik didn’t say anything. He just stood there with his arms folded across his chest, staring at her. His stares could be so mysterious. She didn’t know what he was thinking.

“So, apparently she had me figured out,” Y/N laughs with a shaky breath, “I was so turned on by her. It’s like it hit me full force.”

Y/N chanced a look at Erik, instantly looking away when she connected with his russet eyes. They looked almost black in that room.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous to tell you about this. We’ve known each other for years.” She stroked her hair back only for it to fall into her eyes again.

It was quiet. Y/N fiddled with Erik’s camera to calm herself and hopefully avoid crying. Erik’s body finally relaxed as he walked up to her and squeezing in front of her. He grabs the camera, taking his hands to pick Y/N’s small body up and plant her on top of his work table. She looked off to the side again, but Erik takes his hand to grab her chin gently, making her look at him. He could feel her shaking against him.

“Baby girl...breathe.”

She inhaled in and exhaled out.

“Good girl,” He strokes her chin with his thumb, “Why did you keep this away from me for a month?”

“Because I thought you’d be mad. I thought you’d think I was dishonest.” She spoke with a little voice.

“Baby,” Erik strokes her bangs back from her eyes, “You can’t just assume shit like that. You don’t know how I feel unless you ask. What I say about this shit when we first started dating? We keep it at 100. No matter what, remember?”

“Yes, but,”

“Shhhh,” he placed a finger on her heart-shaped lips, “No buts. You keep it real with me.”

Erik steps back a little to lean into the table with his arms braced on both sides of her body. Y/N’s legs swing and her eyes stare down at her lap. Erik once again lifts her chin, Y/N noticing a lazy smirk on his face.

“So, my girl likes girls?”

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Yes, Erik. I could have sworn I just admitted that” she spoke sarcastically.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

“...yes...” she nods her head slowly.

“When?”

“Uhh...Best friend lingerie party.”

Erik raised his brows, “you gonna tell me how that went?”

Y/N laughs, “uhh...it was a drunken kiss, nothing special...but it made me feel tingly. It happened so fast. She told me she’d wanted to do that all night because she liked my lingerie.” Y/N giggles, covering her face.

“I bet you looked really sexy in that lingerie,” Erik smiles with deep dimples, “Did a girl ever touch you?” His voice got lower.

“No, but I’ve thought about it, a lot.”

“Hmm,” Erik looked down at her swinging legs, “I’m sure you can probably guess that I have no problem what so ever with this.”

“Yeah, it makes me feel better.”

“Like no problem. It’s actually making my dick hard as fuck right now.”

Y/N looked into his eyes, taking her hand to place over his crotch. Sure enough, she could feel his length and thickness at full capacity. Erik grabs that hand, placing it inside of his grey sweats so that she could feel him better. Y/N parts her lips before licking her bottom lip slowly.

“I’m just picturing my girl eating some pussy.”

She was picturing that now too.

“And fucking some fine bitches pussy with all those sex toys you got,” He went to whisper in her ear, “rubbing clits together and cumming all over each other...”

“Stop,” she spoke in a weak tone.

“Sucking and licking on a bitch hard nipples,” Erik’s hand was making its way inside of her pajama shorts, “I just wanna watch, baby girl.”

“You can join too,” she spoke softly, opening her legs for his access.

“Oh, yeah? You want me to fuck you and another bitch?”

“Yesss,” she was grinding her hips into his hand. Erik was rubbing circles around her clit.

“You don’t know what you just started, baby girl,” Erik rips her shorts off at the crotch. She took in a sharp breath watching her man roughly pull her legs apart, lowering himself to the ground to eat her pussy. All she could see was his dark head of dreads moving back and forth between her legs. The red hue light above swung back and forth from Y/N accidentally hitting it. He was showing her just how much he loved that she was bisexual and that he didn’t care about that shit he loved her either way. Erik parts her legs further by using the back of his hands to lift her feet on the table. Her toes curled and her hand rested on the back of his head, guiding him as he sucked on her clit. She stared down at him open-mouthed and unable to make a sound.

Y/N’s eyes would shut tightly. She could feel her pussy convulse on Erik’s lips and tongue. He looked up at her with his almost black eyes, that pink tongue appearing red in the darkroom. She creased her brows, small notes of a whimper trying to escape her voice box but there was no use. Erik was rendering her speechless over and over again. Her juices mixed with his saliva was dripping from the table to the floor. She fell back against the table, resting her body over the many polaroids that Erik developed. Wherever she went he followed because Y/N had such a tight hold on his dreads with her fingers. Next thing she knew, Erik places his whole mouth over her pussy, slurping her up something serious. She bit down on her lip, thighs shaking but Erik held the meaty flesh back for better access.

Y/N lifts onto her elbows, finally a soft moan flowing from her mouth. Erik hums into her pussy. He knew that she was close, he could tell by the way she convulsed on his tongue and in between his lips. She wanted to scream, and Erik was going to pull it out of her. He starts tongue kissing her clit with his slippery wet tongue, directly over her trigger point.

“Daddy, Yes!” She spoke softly between moans, “Daddy, yes, please, I’m gonna cum for you!”

Y/N’s body trembled as she came undone on his tongue. Erik didn’t stop, he was so hungry and horny for this girl. She was letting out choked up moans because he kept going.

“Scream,” He spoke into her pussy between licks and sucks.

She screams.

—————————-

Y/N sat on Erik’s lap in a local bar that a friend of his from childhood owned. They were having a great time hanging out with mutual friends playing pool and taking shots. It was Erik’s round to shoot pool with one of his homeboys so Y/N got up from his lap to follow him to the table. Erik grabs the chalk from his friend to chalk the end of the pool stick. Y/N and Erik were on teams of course. He taught her the game even though she still struggled from time to time.

“You’re gonna rack the 8-ball game, Erik?” Their close friend, Tony asks. Tony and Erik were in the Naval Academy together.

“Yeah, I can do it.” Erik starts racking the balls.

The game was very short between Tony and Erik. Erik was close to winning but Tony got him good in the end. He was rather pissed off about that but Y/N kissing him settled his sour mood. Just when their lips parted, a girl caught Y/N’s eye in her peripheral. Short, 4C curly bush, a black wrap top on that allowed her perky cleavage to spill over and tight stretch pants that cinched her plump waistline and exaggerated her big behind. She had a lot to show and wasn’t afraid to do it either. She looked like a 1970s disco goddess.

“Who is that?” Y/N asked, noticing her talking to Tony and a few other people they both knew.

“Oh, that’s Dashawn.” Y/N looked at him to elaborate.

“She’s Tony’s sister's ex-girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Y/N looked over at Dashawn. She perched her round ass on the edge of the pool table. All the men gawked at the weight she was carrying on her back. Y/N could see the dimples in her ass through her pants.

“See something you like, Princess?”

Erik caught her staring. Y/N gave him a shy smile.

“Yes, she’s very pretty.”

“C’mon,” Erik gave her a look as if to say really.

“Okay...she’s fucking sexy.”

“There you go,” Erik wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer, “you wanna spit some game?”

“What?” She looked up at Erik with a staggering expression.

“You heard what the fuck I said don’t act like you didn’t,” Erik says with a burst of laughter.

“You just want me to...go up to her and try and talk to her?”

“It’s an art to this shit baby girl,” Erik pulls Y/N away from the pool table and back to their seat. She took her usual spot on his lap, giving him her undivided attention.

“First off, it's all about the eyes. see,” Erik gives her a look but it was the usual look that would make Y/N cave every time. He would always make his eyes really low and sultry, focusing on you with an unblinking and lustful expression. She was already squirming in his lap.

“See, like that. I got your attention and all I did was look at you.”

“You’re so good at that. I’d probably end up being all shy.”

“Just give it a try, go give Dashawn a look.”

Y/N was hesitant.

“Baby, it's okay,” Erik rubs her back soothingly, “I’m okay with it. I really wanna see you pick up other women. It’s sexy”

“And it turns you on,” Y/N added.

“Yeah, it does,” Erik makes his dick jump against Y/N’s ass.

“Go show Daddy how you do it,” he whispers.

Y/N got up from Erik’s lap, Erik slapping her ass. Y/N was smoothing down her velour mini skirt before walking over towards Dashawn’s direction. She was currently watching another pool game, a drink in her hand that had a blue color; Y/N guessed it was probably Hypnotiq.

“I wanna go next round, who’s gonna play with me?”

“I will.” Y/N spoke up.

Dashawn noticed Y/N leaning over the edge of the pool table, her velour cropped hoodie zipped down low enough to show her large breasts. She gave her best “Erik stare” hoping that it was working. Erik always said that Y/N’s Chestnut deep-set eyes were his favorite. Slowly but surely, a smile crept up Dashawn’s downturned lips that were painted a matte brown. Y/N allowed her eyes to travel up and down Dashawn’s body quickly before she sat up straighter with a bounce of her tits in a flirty manner. Dashawn liked that, her eyes were round and prominent now.

“Sure,” Dashawn’s kinky fro bounced as she nodded her head, “what’s your name?” She had a light voice. Her voice definitely didn’t match the way she looked. It was so adorable.

“It’s Y/N,” She reached across the pool table. Dashawn practically bumped into Tony reaching out for Y/N’s hand. Her walnut-colored skin clashed beautifully against Y/N’s honey brown skin. Y/N shook it slow, still holding that same gaze just to reel Dashawn in further before letting her hand go while allowing her fingers to feather the inside of her palm. She could see Dashawn’s shoulders jump from that.

“Did you come alone?” Dashawn asked.

“No,” She pointed over at Erik seated with his eyes on her, “I came with Erik.”

Dashawn followed Y/N’s finger, spotting Erik and smiling wide.

“E?! You’re...” she trailed off, pointing her finger between both Erik and her.

“Yes, he’s my man,” Y/N gave Dashawn a soft smile.

“Oh, okay,” Dashawn nods her head again, placing some hair behind her ear before looking away with a flicker of annoyance. Y/N fought a smile.

“So, we’re gonna go next?” Y/N tilted her head at Dashawn with a bite of her lip.

“Of course!” Dashawn giggled nervously, “Sorry, it’s the drink.”

“No worries, you’re laugh is really cute.”

Y/N gave Dashawn one final look before walking away and back to Erik. The closer she got, she put her thumbs up at him, Erik smiling behind a cup of liquor.

“How was that?”

“Perfect. You had her drooling, ma.”

“I thought it would be so hard.”

Erik gave her a funny look, “Do you see how fine you are? You ain’t even have to do that and Dashawn ass would be staring.”

He was excited now.

“I wanna see you flirt with her some more. Show me how you would flirt with another woman.”

“You are a mess,” Y/N laughs.

“Nah, I’m hooked.”

Once the others were finished, Dashawn and Y/N started a game. Dashawn was really good. Y/N was impressed.

“You’re like, a fucking pro at pool.”

“My dad taught me,” She went her turn, making the shot.

“What is it that you can’t do?”

“I can’t sing.”

It was Y/N’s turn, “With a voice that cute I would have thought otherwise.”

Dashawn blushes, leaning against her pool stick. Y/N arched her body over the pool table, aiming for the ball she needed and making the shot. Her skirt was spread over her bubble booty, the back of her thighs catching the light from the pool area. Dashawn tilted her head when she thought Y/N wasn’t paying attention to check her out. Y/N lifted up, turning towards Dashawn with hungry eyes.

“See something you like, Dashawn?”

The girl was speechless.

“Your turn, beautiful.”

Dashawn missed her shot. She was so enamored with what Y/N said that she was thrown off her game.

“What happened to all those winning shots!”

“You’re distracting me!” The alcohol started giving her courage.

“How so?” Y/N was tipsy herself.

“You’re just so damn beautiful that’s why,” Dashawn slapped her forehead, “oh shit, somebody come grab this drink away from me! I’m hitting on Erik’s girl,” Dashawn pouts, “I know you’re off-limits.”

“If you say so,” Y/N went her turn. Dashawn gave her a look, ready to open her mouth to speak but Erik approached. Dashawn looked at both of them with an envious eye.

“Daddy, I have to finish the game,” Y/N couldn’t pull away from his tight hold.

“I’m horny, gimme some pussy...”

He was drunk off that Hennessy and he wanted to deliver some Henny dick. Y/N knew she was in for a long exhausting night including multiple orgasms and no feeling in her legs.

“Daddy...” she leans back from him, “Can I finish my game with Dashawn? I like being in her company.”

Y/N looked across the table, noticing Dashawn looking away quickly.

“Why don’t you and Dashawn exchange numbers after this? Keep in touch.”

“I already planned on doing that.”

“Oh, shit,” Erik kisses her neck, finally letting her go, “finish your little game then we’re leaving.”

She smiles, “fine.”

Dashawn ended up winning. Y/N informed her and everyone else that she was about to leave with Erik. Dashawn’s face fell slightly but the minute Y/N pulled her into a tight hug a blush replaced her somber expression. They were chest against chest, arms wrapped around each other's waists. When Y/N pulled away she gave Dashawn one final longing stare before licking her lips to speak.

“We should exchange numbers. You know...to hang out some other time.”

“Definitely. I’d like that.”

Both women exchanged numbers.

“Wish I could stay longer but,” Y/N tilted her head towards Erik.

“Oh, I understand. Have fun.” Dashawn gave Y/N a smirk before walking away.

———————————-

Erik has been thinking about it for a few weeks since Y/N confessed to being bisexual. Her and Dashawn hung out a few times but nothing actually happened between them. They just remained friends. That was cool and all and he was happy his girl was making new friends but he couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like having a threesome.

She had to be down for that.

After laying the pipe on Y/N for the second time that day, Erik peeked at his dick growing hard again under the covers, pushing into Y/N‘s ass.

“Again?” She asked in a sleepy tone.

“Do you even know what you do to me, girl?”

She sat up, the covers falling away from her large breasts, “Do you even know what you do to me?”

She pulled the covers back, climbing on top of him with a quake in her thighs. She was still sore from a couple of hours ago.

“Oh, I know,” Erik lines his dick up with her still wet pussy, “I remember how much I had to work to get you to even look at me.”

Y/N slid down his length with ease. She closed her eyes, reaching out her hands to place against his chest. Erik grabs her waist, thrusting his hips up into her slowly.

“You-you remember the first time we had sex?” Erik asked with a struggle.

“Of course I do, baby,” Y/N smiles before her lips parted, a soft moan rolling off her tongue, “It was so intense. I felt like a virgin again.”

“This pussy is still just as tight and wet as the first time,” Erik arches Y/N over him a little so he could thrust into her pussy deeper. Her ass slapped against his thighs and balls each time he bottomed out inside of her.

“Daddy,” Y/N asked between strokes, “I want to have a threesome.”

“W-what?” He was drilling her pussy at this point.

“I want to have a threesome!”

Erik slowed down, Y/N leaning back to look at him.

“I want us to have sex with another woman.”

“When?” Erik’s dick got harder inside of her. Y/N shivered from the stretch.

“A-anytime D-daddy. I-I really want it.”

“Fuck,” Erik could hear her creamy pussy, “Goddam, you hear that? Your pussy making them noises daddy like when he fucking you.”

Her pussy made loud squelching sounds.

“Hell yeah, I want us to have a threesome. Hell. Yeah.”

“Daddy, you’re so excited,” Y/N started fucking him herself, “You’ve been fantasizing about me eating pussy and getting my pussy ate and fucked by another woman?”

“How you gonna let another bitch eat that pussy?”

“Ima sit on her face and ride,” she rode him, working her hips.

“Mmm, I can’t wait to see that shit. My balls filling up with all this cum, Princess. You ready for me to nut in this pussy?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she bounced on him harder.

“Yeah, work that dick, show out baby.”

Erik has his hands behind his head but from time to time he would slap her ass.

“I felt that puss grip my fucking dick. You better cum all over me too.”

“Yeah, Ima cum all over you, baby.” She was in an entrancing and numbing state with his dick deep inside of her pussy.

“Fuck, Daddy, this big dick!”

She pressed hard into his chest, her body seizing up and her orgasm hitting her full force. Erik was close behind, thrusting into her with an almost blur of his hips before he pushed deep into her pussy, holding it there while his cum spilled out of his dick and in and around her pussy. Every time she spasmed his cum would spill from the sides of her pussy lips because his dick was still tightly sheathed inside of her.

“FUCK. You always have me doing this shit. This good pussy always makes me cum so much.”

She slipped off of Erik to clean up her mess. Erik watched her lick and suck him clean with low eyes.

“We gotta find a fine ass bitch for the both of us, baby girl.”

“Mhm,” She licked her lips clean.

“Gimme a kiss.”

Y/N kissed Erik’s lips.

“Let’s plan it next weekend,” She suggests.

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress@chefjessypooh@chaneajoyyy@pananegra@theblulife @becincere@blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah@moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites@crowngold@njadakillthiscookie@blktinkerbell@luvanxi@sheisexcellent1@chocolatedippedinhoney@brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy@soulfulbeauty19@btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97@youngblackndgifted@harleycativy @rbhp@thee-germanpeach@thadelightfulone@bugngiz@palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty@nizzle-mo

[dragonnan]

This is faaaar from a complete list and will be spotty at best but I’ve been pondering MCU characters a lot as I’ve been getting slowly back to work on my mega-fic.  I LOVE minor head canons.  Simple stuff like favorite foods or what music they listen to or were they ever a smoker or whatever whatever.  So I’m gonna give myself the challenge of crafting some head canon and anyone else is very welcome to dive in! (some things are already established via canon)

~ Ethnicity ~ Faith ~ Smoker ~ Alcohol ~ Favorite food ~ Favorite cookie ~ Favorite animal(s) ~ Favorite music ~

Tony Stark:  Ethnicity: Mixed European-American-Jewish (he refers to himself as a “mutt”) Faith: “No thanks” being the initial answer but if he feels like opening up he’ll admit to believing there’s likely “something” out there but at the same time figures that “something” stopped caring about humanity a long long time ago.  Smoker?  Never liked cigarettes but smoked a few cigars when he was younger due to Obie’s influence.  He never was a big fan but wanted to fit in with his mentor.  Alcohol: Influenced both by his father and Obie, Tony started drinking hard liquor semi-regularly as young as 14 (his Dad let him try his first sip at the age of 6).  He pretty much sticks with Scotch or Bourbon but is not opposed to cheap beer at a ball game.  In fact the cheaper the better - a requirement for any self-respecting American.  Favorite food: hot dogs.  Neither one of his parents cooked.  Breakfast and lunch were whatever whenever for all three of them but dinner? You better be sure you were at that table before the plates were set down or you could go without (and Tony got a slap from his father when he’d observed that rule only seemed to apply to him).  But on the nights he was sent to his room, Jarvis would slip upstairs, later, with a sandwich or, on really rough nights, a couple of hotdogs.  Favorite cookie: Those Christmas wreath ones made with cereal and marshmallow with the cinnamon candies.  Favorite animal(s): he likes all animals but if he had to pick one for a pet he’d get an iguana.  Favorite music: well duh lolol.   

Stephen Strange: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American (borrowed from Benedict Cumberbatch’s ethnicity and adding the American) Faith: Originally atheist but now closer to Buddhist.  Smoker:  Never.  Even prior to becoming a sorcerer he has always been conscious of what he takes into his body; especially given the history of cancer on his mother’s side of the family.  Alcohol:  Wine, occasionally, though he isn’t really a social drinker per-say.  Favorite food:  The spicy shrimp and pork dumplings from a Thai place in Midtown.  Favorite cookie: Hmmm.... not a big sweets guy but he won’t turn away a few ginger-pecan cookies with coffee.  Favorite animal(s): dogs - unequivocally.  He had a border collie growing up on his family farm in Nebraska.  Favorite music: please don’t make this poor man actually have to choose.  

Steve Rogers: Ethnicity: Irish (as per comics) Faith? Irish-Catholic (as per the comics).  Smoker? Prior to the serum there was no way he could safely do so with his health issues.  After he started traveling with the performers all of the girls in the group smoked and he tried it out a few times but never developed a taste for it.  Alcohol: he drank A LOT - easy enough to do as it never had any real effect on him.  He enjoys scotch and bourbon (a taste he picked up from hanging around Howard Stark).  Steve seems to low-key always have the munchies (like most enhanced) and once Tony picked up on that there are always a variety of snacks scattered here and there throughout the compound (also of benefit for Bruce, Peter, Thor, and, later, Bucky).  Steve’s favorite foods typically remind him of his mother’s cooking.  While they’d never had much (especially after his father died) his mom could do a lot with limited supplies.  She used to make a fantastic meat pie with ground beef or tongue.  He hates SPAM.  They ate it in the Army, constantly, and just the smell will occasionally send him back to those days and not in a good way.  Favorite cookie?  Oreos.  He can clean up a family sized pack in like 10 minutes.  Steve loves animals but is especially fond of horses and dogs.  There was a dog in his unit in WW2 and Steve, like most of the other men, would share bites of his rations with it.  Steve is nostalgic about music from the 40s but finds that 70s rock really resonates with him.      

Bucky Barnes: Ethnicity: Romanian-American (borrowing a little from Sebastian Stan’s ethnicity) Faith? Possibly agnostic.  Smoker? Heck yes - both cigarettes and cigars.  Like Steve, the serum he received (via Hydra’s experimentation) means he gets to dodge the detrimental side effects of smoking.  Alcohol: He likes to drink but is almost exclusively a beer drinker.  He has a big appetite but refuses to eat around others if he can at all help it.  His favorite food is corned beef with cabbage.  Steve’s grandmother was an Irish immigrant and would make it every Sunday before the war impacted rations.  Since both Bucky’s parents were dead he’d often have dinner with his best friend.  Also, unlike Steve, he actually likes SPAM.  But then, arguably, he isn’t terribly picky about food in general.  Favorite cookie: molasses.  Favorite animal(s): birds - eagles in particular - though he doesn’t look too deeply at the psychology of their ability to just fly away.  Needless to say a crafty observer might spot a former Winter Soldier tossing seeds towards the pigeons.  Favorite music: He’s pretty eclectic though he shies away from anything too loud like death metal.  He finds classical very soothing.       

Peter Parker: Ethnicity: Mixed American-Scandinavian-German-ish Faith: Protestant upbringing but unsure where he currently stands. If pressed he’d say he���s “leaving his options open” Smoker?  “Oh gross!” Alcohol: “Um, too young to drink, thanks! But if I WERE to... you know, try it just to taste it there was this mudslide at one of Flash’s parties that was super good...” Favorite food: spaghetti and meatballs.  Lots of meatballs.  Favorite cookie: chocolate chocolate chip with chunks.  Favorite animal(s): NOT spiders.  And NOT birds given how many rooftops he’s traversed layered in pigeon ick.  He’d probably say cats.  Favorite music: The B side of techno rock - especially Depeche Mode.

Peter Quill: Ethnicity:  Half mixed American and half celestial.  Faith: His Dad was a god and he killed him so he figures he probably isn’t on the best terms with the Big G God should He... or She... or Them... be out there.  Look he just wants to do his thing and cause a little trouble without mixing it up with any other celestial types but if they DO wanna throw down he’d like to point out that he’s 1 for 1 and willing to rumble.  Smoker: He would not say no to a really good cigar and may have possibly lifted a case from Yondu’s stash when he struck out on his own.  Alcohol:  Anywhere any time and in large quantities.  Favorite food:  A thick steakhouse bacon burger with potato chips right on the patty.  Extra cheese please!  Favorite cookie: He’s a simple guy with simple tastes.  classic chocolate chip no frills no fuss and fresh from the oven.  Favorite animal(s):  He likes dogs - who doesn’t like dogs?  But he really likes cows.  Just maybe don’t mention the burger thing.  Favorite music:    

Thor: He’s a Norse god of legend so I figure we can forego the ethnicity/faith questions lol.  Smoker: He has never understood this human custom nor has he felt any inclination to try it himself  Alcohol: Beer, mead, and anything capable of knocking him on his ass.  Favorite food:  chili with ghost peppers.  Though nowhere near as hot as the fire chilies of Muspelheim (which would be instantly fatal for humans so its just as well).  Favorite cookie: strawberry cheesecake with macadamia nuts.  Favorite animal(s):  It’s a tossup between bilgesnipe and whales.  Favorite music:  The mighty horns of battle!  He also enjoys old school country, much to Tony’s disgust.  The story aspect of that music is what appeals to him.

Bruce Banner: Ethnicity: Italian-American  Faith: Catholic in his childhood; currently Atheist or maybe agnostic.  Smoker: He tends to avoid any substances for, you know, obvious reasons.  Alcohol: See previous.  Favorite food:  Waffles with sliced mango.  Favorite cookie: Oatmeal.  Favorite animal(s):  Mantis shrimp - “did you know they can generate so much power in their attacks that they can briefly super-heat the water up to 7,700 °C??”  Favorite music:  Indian- especially Krishna Bhajan.    

Clint Barton: Ethnicity:  Mixed European-American and Panamanian.  Faith:  His parents were both Protestant but he’s never latched on to any specific faith and hasn’t really devoted a lot of thought on the matter.  He has a sorta loose idea of “maybe something out there” but that’s all the further he’s gotten on the subject.  What he tells anyone who asks it’s that his religion is coffee.  Smoker: Briefly when he was a teen.  Alcohol:  Beer - he’s a fan of dark lager.  Favorite food:  Coney Island dogs, Pizza, and pickle flavored potato chips.  Favorite cookie:   Monster cookies with the mini M&Ms.  Favorite animal(s): Dogs  Favorite music:  80s rock and some country.

Natasha Romanoff: Ethnicity:  Russian.  Faith:  She was not given much choice when younger and was raised as “state atheist” (per comics).  In the years since escaping that life, however, she has tried to discover more about herself.  Her parents were both Russian Jewish and there has been a pull to discover more about that faith - especially since meeting Wanda - who is Jewish.  Smoker:  No.  Alcohol: Some vodka - that’s a given.  But she actually prefers wine; and honestly her favorites are wine spritzers.  Favorite food:   Favorite cookie: Krumkake filled with creme and berries.  Favorite animal(s): Favorite music:  Overall she listens to a pile of little-known bands and whomever is playing at whatever bar in whatever city she happens to be in.  She also is a huge fan of old school Spice Girls.

[to-write-ornah]

Talk to You

A/N: another old fic I found in the depths of my pc. Reader is deaf, Sam learns asl for her. It’s cute

Word Count: 2,416

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader

Warnings: nope

________

You looked up from the lore book you were reading when you felt the floor vibrate as the door open then shut. You stood from the small wood table when you saw who had come in. You made your way over to the Winchester boys as they dropped their packs inside the entrance to the bunker.

They were both covered in dirt, and a little bit of blood, but from what you could see they had retained no serious injuries from the ghost they'd been hunting.

Dean smiled the moment he saw you, and bent down to scoop you up in a hug. You were basically the little sister he'd never had, and you felt he was the big brother you'd wanted your whole life. Sam, however, was another story.

You hugged Dean back tightly, not minding the grime that covered his clothes. He finally released you and backed up a bit so he could talk to you.

'How are you? How's the leg?' he signed, referring to the gash that had covered your upper thigh when they had left a week ago. You'd gotten cut up by a vampire pretty badly, and had to sit this hunt out because of it.

'I'm fine, how was the hunt?' you answered as you waved off his concern, trying to slow down your hands so Dean could understand you. Sam had been watching the two of you the whole time, and continued to do so as Dean attempted to explain the latest hunt to you. Sam sighed as you smiled at Deans descriptions and funny expressions.

After he’d finished, you held a finger up to Dean in a 'one second' gesture. You turned and caught Sam's arm before he could walk away. You gave him a hug, and turned to sign something to Dean.

"Um, she says....thanks for texting her to check on her leg....and," Dean tilted his head as he did his best to translate, "she's glad you're ok."

Sam was lucky he was so tall, because if he wasn't he was sure you would’ve seen the blush that tinted his cheeks. Dean however, did see it, and gave Sam a knowing smirk.

You stepped away from Sam and went to the table, grabbing a piece of paper. You turned and handed Dean a note from Bobby explaining that he was on a cabin check a few hours away. Dean nodded and signed ‘thank you.’

You smiled and gestured for the boys to follow you to the kitchen. They did, and were pleasantly surprised to find it full of baked goods. Deans jaw dropped at the sight of an enormous homemade pecan pie, with a scribbled note next to it reading ‘for Dean’.

"Dude, you rock!" Dean quickly realized his mistake, and signed his gratitude to you. You giggled as he grabbed the pie tin and a fork and took it to the table, not bothering with a plate. You turned to Sam and gestured for him to try something. You'd gotten bored on day three, and now had numerous batches of cookies, Deans pie, a cake, and three loafs of bread. He picked up a cookie from the cooling rack near the stove.

"Um, ok, thanks (Y/n), uh, I mean.." You looked at Sam in confusion as his mouth moved, before catching a few phrases and understanding what he was trying to say. You moved toward him and took his hands in yours, helping him sign 'thank you'. He mimicked you on his own, and you signed 'you're welcome' back to him.

He trudged off to the table in embarrassment to join Dean, and you followed him. You managed to get Deans attention, shaking your head as you saw he was already halfway through his pie.

'I'm going to sleep. I was waiting for you two to come home.' You bit your lower lip slightly as you noticed Sams eyes on you, and tried hard not to blush.

Dean looked down at his watch in confusion, his expression changing to surprised once he realized it was 2:46 am.

'Yeah, go. Good night beautiful.' He smiled at you and waved you off.

'OK, night handsome.' You signed back, turning to Sam and waving. You paused, wanting to say more, but deciding against it. You didn’t want to make things awkward by having Dean translate, so you just left.

Once you were gone, Dean burst out laughing and returned to his pie.

"What's so funny?" Sam questioned, taking a bite of his cookie and holding back a moan. Wow. You were a great baker.

"You know, she likes you too, hotshot. If you just said somethi-" Dean started.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Sam cut off the older Winchester, giving him a hard glare.

"You like (Y/n)." Dean managed around a mouthful of pie and an attempted smirk.

"Keep it down!" Sam shot forward in his seat, looking toward the hallway that led to your room.

"Dude," Dean furrowed his eyebrows and raised his hands, giving him a ‘don’t be an idiot’ look. “She's deaf."

"Yeah, trust me, I know." Sam leaned back and sighed. Dean shoveled another bite into his mouth and nodded knowingly.

"You're upset you cant talk to her, aren't you?" He questioned.

"Well, maybe I am. You can talk to her, Bobby can talk to her, hell even Cas can talk to her!" He pouted slightly, shaking his head in bewilderment.

"You could ask her to teach you ASL. I know she’d love to do it." Dean nodded to himself before finishing off his pie.

"That's unhealthy." Sam raised his eyebrows at the empty pie tin in front of his brother.

"Course." Dean smiled proudly and took a swig of his beer. "Now Romeo, if you want to learn, I'll teach you."

Sam scoffed. "You only know because of that girl you dated."

"I think her name was Stacy." Dean furrowed his eyebrows in thought.

"That's not the point." Sam shook his head as he spoke.

"Maybe Stephany," Dean mused.

"Dean! I've got a real problem here."

"I'll say." Dean chuckled.

"Ugh." Sam ran his hands over his face and thunked his head down on the table. After a moment, he sat up and stood from the table.

"Where you goin’?" Dean questioned, taking another drink.

"To bed. I'm not that dirty, I'll just shower in the morning." He stumbled out of the kitchen and down the hall to his room.

Dean just chuckled and shook his head.

---------

You got up at seven the next morning and took a shower, thinking you'd be done before the boys woke up. You turned on the water, not bothering to lock the door. Once the room was filled with steam you slipped into the shower and adjusted the temperature until it was perfect. You were in and out in ten minutes, taking special care to mind your injured leg and keep it out of the water. You rewrapped your towel and started to blow dry your hair. It didn’t take you long to get it dry, and soon you were done. You turned to leave the bathroom and froze when you came face to face, well, chest, with Sam. Your cheeks turned red when you realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Sam froze too, hand still on the doorknob.

He quickly hid his eyes behind his hand.

"Oh, shit, (Y/n)! I'm so sorry. Woah, sorry, I didn't know you were in here! I was just gonna shower, and I didn't think you'd be up yet." Sam went on and on while you laughed silently through your embarassment, only seeing his lips moving rapidly. You assumed Sam realized what he was doing, because you noticed his mouth go still. His gaze moved down the hall, and Dean soon came into view.

He looked groggy and tired, but he seemed to wake up when he understood what was going on. You watched as Sam waved his hands around, trying to explain to Dean what had actually happened, but Dean looked like he wasn't having it. The whole thing made you laugh to yourself.

"Dean, I swear! I accidentally walked in on her, I didn't mean to!" Sam's eyes were wide, and his cheeks still had a slight blush on them.

"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't." Dean crossed his arms over his chest and gave his brother a smug grin. You were watching the exchange, feeling slightly uncomfortable in just your towel. Dean noticed your expression and quickly caught your attention.

'This idiot says he's sorry." he smirked as he signed before grabbing his little brothers arm and pulling him away. He doubled back and stood in the door once more.

'And, Sam likes you, to.' He signed smugly. Your features hardened defensively as your cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

'Stop, jerk. You know he doesn't.' You signed, glaring at him lightly. He always teased you about liking Sam. Dean simply shrugged and backtracked down the hall, grabbing a confused Sam on his way.

"Dude, what was that?" He tried asking.

"Sorry Sammy. Not telling." Dean dragged Sam to the kitchen, and when you were certain they were gone, you ran from the bathroom down and across the hall to your room.

You shut the door, careful to lock it this time, before changing. You put on your underwear before slipping on black shorts and a grey tee shirt.

You stayed in your room for most of the morning, researching random topics or cleaning. Eventually you got out the Vibrato speaker that Bobby had gotten you for Christmas. You connected it to your iPod and clicked on your current favorite song.

Hovering your fingers over the speaker, you felt the beginning vibrations of the song. You closed your eyes and smiled, laying back on your bed and feeling your music.

—————

"Come on, man. Just go tell her, please! You're actually killing me." Dean begged his little brother as he dropped his head onto the table.

"But what if she doesn't like me back?” Sam’s voice was muffled by the table. “Or what if she laughs at me? I don't even know how to talk to her! What if-" Sam was stopped mid rant as Dean interrupted.

"What if you go your whole life without telling her, huh?" That got Sam’s attention and he sat up.

"What if she meets someone else? (Y/n)’s gorgeous, and a great person, and somebody's gonna come along and realize that sooner than you can tell her how you feel. So pull your head out of your ass and go talk to her."

Sam sighed deeply and got up, beginning to pace. "It's not that simple, Dean. I cant talk to her, I literally cant."

"Then I'll teach you." Dean said in a matter of fact tone. Disbelief flashed across Sams features.

"Come here, I'll teach you what to say- er, sign. Honest." Dean patted the seat next to him. Sam sighed and reluctantly sat down.

“Alright,” Dean grinned. “Let start with the basics. I want to date you.” He demonstrated the signs with a cheeky grin as Sam glared. Dean held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay! Fine. How about ‘how are you?’?”

——————

You opened your eyes when you felt the bed dip as someone sat down. Looking up, you saw Sam sitting next to you. You smiled and waved hi to him, but to your surprise, he started signing to you.

'How are you, (Y/n)?' His signing was slow and somewhat awkward, but you beamed at his attempt to communicate with you.

'Good, and you?' You signed slowly so that he could understand.

'I’m good.' He signed after hesitating a moment.

You sat up and moved to the headboard, motioning for him to sit next to you, which he did. You grabbed his hand, then your speaker, placing his hand over it. He looked confused for a second before he started to understand what he was feeling.

"You can listen to music with this?" He asked in astonishment. You tried to read his lips, but he spoke too fast. You shook your head and gave him a look that said, 'sorry, I cant understand you.'

He cringed and ran a hand down his face, before pointing to the speaker, then to your ears, then signed ‘music’.

You giggled, then nodded in understanding.

He nodded for a moment before he seemed to realize something.

'I need to change...’ he blanked for a moment then pointed to your leg. You nodded and began peeling the bandages from your thigh. You hadn't noticed the bandages Sam had brought in with him until he grabbed them from the end of the bed. He checked over your stitches for any signs of infection.

'That looks,' he struggled for a moment before remembering the sign, 'better.' He smiled proudly, and began clean the stitches and apply ointment. It didn’t take him long and soon he was wrapping new bandages around your leg. You patiently waited for him to finish before catching his attention. You took a deep breath and signed to him.

'I like you.' You wanted to duck your head down, but you forced yourself to look him in the eyes. His expression went from confusion at understanding your signs, to shock, then something you couldn’t place before his face broke out into a grin.

'I like you, too.' He signed, grinning from ear to ear. You sighed in relief, smiling back at him. A surge of confidence shot though you and you scooted closer to Sam. You gingerly cupped his face in your hands and leaned closer to his face. His hand found its way to the back of your neck and gently pulled you closer before he closed the distance between the two of you. His lips brushed against yours, and you pressed a bit harder. The kiss was slow and sweet; neither of you pushed it any farther. It was just pure bliss. And you were really disappointed when it ended.

The first thing you saw when you pulled away was Sam's gorgeous hazel eyes and his happy smile. The second thing you saw was Dean standing in the doorway, pumping his fist in the air.

Sam pulled away from you giving Dean an angry glare and jumping up to chase Dean out of the room. He looked back before he was out of view and signed to you,

'I'm coming back.'

You smiled at him, and he flew around the corner. You sighed and fell back on the bed. If you knew Dean, and you did, he was the one who taught Sam how to sign to you. Guess you owed him another pie.

[lupienne]

Rick’s Christmas Miracle

I originally started this short fic last Christmas but got stumped on wrapping it up, so it gathered dust till this year. I cobbled together an ending that I guess is ok. I seem to have done a few of these ‘Rick delivers supplies to Negan’ fics but hey...it’s how it should be. Fuck canon. Lol!

-

“You sure you want to make the trip? Snow might still be deep off the roads.”

Heath was reluctant to let Rick and Silver pass through Alexandria's gates.

“I'm a week late.”

“A few more days wouldn't hurt. What if you don't make it back in time?”

Nobody knew the real date anymore. Together, the town had crafted a new calendar, guessing the positions of holidays. Christmas sat only a few days away on their chart of time's passage.

“I'll be back in time.”

Heath pursed his lips, but his only comment was: “Hopefully the cold took care of that vermin. Then you won't have to do this anymore.”

He was too good to question Rick directly. It wasn't Rick's integrity he hated...just the current recipient of it. Everyone in town had an opinion. Sure, Negan had done something or another to help Alexandria.... but did he really deserve a monthly drop-off of supplies indefinitely?  

“Hopefully,” Rick mummered, and Heath finally stepped out of his path. The truth was, Rick enjoyed the trip. He liked getting away.

He maybe even liked seeing Negan... but no way, no how. He wouldn't go so far as to say that. 

----

Heath's concerns were for nothing. The driving snows that had delayed this supplies drop had melted into slush. Silver slipped a few times on the sodden ground. But overall, the old mare was happy to be free from her stable. She moved at a steady pace, carrying Rick to the outskirts of Negan's 'neighborhood'.

He paused on the slight incline above the empty array of cookie-cutter homes. Strangely, his heart pounded in his chest. Maybe Heath was right, and cold had done Negan in. It'd been three weeks since his last visit. Starvation was surely a possibility as well.

Despair. If Negan's thoughts were anything like the dark things that fluttered through Rick's mind... there were other reasons for death as well. Loneliness could kill.

He sucked in a breath, feeling stupid. His personal vermin would be doing him a favor by lying there dead, wouldn't he? His eyes scoured the rooftops, and that breath came out in a rush. His heart bobbed upwards.

Smoke rose from the farthest chimney.

“Guess we're still delivering, girl.”

-

They trotted into Negan's 'yard'. He snorted. The man somehow knew Christmas was nearing. He'd decorated with a shoddy plastic wreath on the door, and tinsel draped over Lucille's cross. At least Negan didn't have to bother with lights – considering he had no electricity. Rick wasn't surprised to see a large, lopsided snowman standing near the front door.

He turned to Silver. “Well, a child does live here.”

He did his custom two knocks with a pause before the third. No answer. Negan must have gone on an errand.

Rick sighed. He supposed he could drop the stuff and leave.

He turned back to face the yard, noticing the snowman's face from this angle. Two rock eyes and a pebble mouth. A tree-root nose, because even if Negan had found a carrot, he wouldn't waste it here. Stick arms. Rick's eyes dropped to what passed for a snowman's crotch. A thick stick jutted outwards.

He raised his cane, debating knocking off the wooden woody, when he heard a sound from the nearby woods. He tensed, until he caught sight of the leather jacket and bright red hat. Negan emerged from the trees, huffing as he pulled a child's sled behind him. It was loaded with sticks and wood.

The predictable stupid smile came across the other man's face. “Hey, Prick! See you're admiring my friend there. I modeled him after me, you know. Long and thick.”

The warming air was making Frosty's stick droop in the melting snow. Rick smirked.

“It's been cold as fucking hell,” Negan let go of the sled once he was closer. “Been snowed in for a few days. And hungry. Where have you been?”

“It snowed all over, Negan.”

“Yeah.” Negan scratched at his chin. He was growing his beard out again. He looked a bit like a lumberjack. He'd replaced his old red scarf with a red-and-black checked one. “I thought maybe you were hoping I'd croak from the elements.”

“I could never be so lucky.”

Negan pouted. Rick unbuckled Silver's saddlebag. “If I'd known you were doing the beard thing, I wouldn't have brought more razors.”

“Just for the winter. Any more pork n' beans?”

“Nope. We're fresh out.”

“Fuck...”

“Annie has been baking though. I brought you some pecan pie.” Rick hefted the saddlebag and nodded at Negan to take the other.

“You didn't bring me any figgy pudding?”

Rick let out a laugh. “Oh damn. Left that back on the kitchen counter. Has anyone actually eaten figgy pudding...?”

“Well, you know what they say...” Negan bounded in front of him, swinging open the door to his home. Rick hoped he'd used his snowed-in time to clean that fucking pig-sty. “You won't go until I get some.”

Rick raised an eyebrow as Negan stood just inside the threshold. He'd known the man long enough to recognize that devious glint in his eyes.

“Guess I ain't going then...” Despite Heath's worries, Rick wasn't entirely eager to spend Christmas in Alexandria. Sure, seeing his people be festive and merry was great and all, but Carl was away at the Hilltop and Andrea...

He pushed that thought away.

“Heh. That means I'll have to cook something. Hope you like dog food casserole.”

Rick paused in the doorway, narrowing his eyes. “Negan, can you move-”

“Here, gimmie.” Negan grabbed the saddlebag from him and dropped them on the floor. Rick tried to peer around him, wondering what he was hiding. Maybe he was embarrassed because the house was still a mess. “Well, well. Would ya look at that?” Negan grinned wide, pointing a finger upwards. “I was hoping a hot chick would happen by one of these days... but I'll take what I can get.”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

Fake mistletoe was tacked on the door frame above their heads.

“You know the rules. Pucker up, Grimes.”

“Ugh.” Rick shoved past him into the besotted bachelor pad. “I am not kissing you.”

“But it's the holiday fucking tradition.”

Rick ignored that, stepping out from under the accursed plant. “Just empty the bags, Negan.” He stood in the room, surveying the mess.

The big man pouted as he began to unpack his supplies, setting them in a pile. Canned food, razors, the pie. A pair of warm gloves. Other things, like matches and a canister of kindling sticks. He'd brought extra food this time. Probably a good thing. Under the beard, Negan looked like he'd lost even more weight.

“You ever thought of moving...?”

“Why? You sick of coming out here? You don't have to, you know...” Negan held the pie in both hands, casting his eyes down to it. “I'm fine. I don't need your fucking charity.”

“No. Just wondering what keeps you here.”

“One dump is the same as another...” Negan set the pie down. “And Lucille...” He trailed off, and Rick felt a pang of sympathy.

He wondered what it would be like if he came out here and found the house vacated. If Negan was finally out of his hair.

Weird how it caused the same ache as Carl's absence and the empty silence of his home. He collected the saddlebags and headed for the door.

“You want any pie...?”

“I got so many pies and cakes at home I can't even keep up.” Rick knew Annie and the others were drowning him in sweets out of pity.

“Oh...” Negan sounded disappointed, but Rick couldn't think of any good excuses to stay. He'd delivered the supplies. Now it was time to leave.

“Maybe I can bring you some figgy pudding next time...” Rick said lightly. He didn't know why he cared- but he wanted to dispel that forlorn look in Negan's eyes. He knew what it was like to spend this holiday alone, with nothing to warm the heart.

“Yeah...maybe.” Negan followed him to the front door, his gaze flitting up to the mistletoe as Rick paused under it. Rick snorted. No way, no how that he was gonna follow that tradition-

Fuck it.  Maybe he could warm Negan's season just a tiniest bit. Or just simply deliver a good ole mindfuck, the present Negan had given him so many times over the years.

Old Man Rick could still move fast when he wanted – even on his bum knee. And his aim was still precise as fuck. He turned, and landed a rough smooch right on Negan's mouth.

They both had chapped lips, so it was a strange slide of dry skin catching on itself. Rick didn't linger, but settled back on his feet, clutching his cane tight. He chuckled softly as a  flush as red as Santa's suit spread across Negan's cheeks.

“Merry Christmas, Negan.”

And lo, how Rick beheld a Christmas Miracle!

“...shit...Rick...” Negan sputtered, after a stunning thirty seconds of silence... “I uh...I was just joking, you know...”

“Uh huh...” Rick grinned as he began to strap on Silver's saddlebags. “Sure you were. And as it looks like it's gonna snow again...you're so not going to ask me to spend the night, right?”

“Uh...no..” The lying fuck shifted on his feet, his cheeks still like roses. “....but if you want to-”

“No. You've only got one bed. And my cane takes up a lot of space.”

There was another blessed span of quiet, but maybe shorter than the last. Rick didn't mind. He couldn't expect two miracles in a row-

“Fucking Christmas miracle...” Negan stood owl-eyed, as Rick clambered atop the old mare. “...Prick Grimes...making a dick joke...?”

Rick just chuckled, shook his head, and spurred Silver away, to his empty and cold home back in Alexandria .

------

But when he arrived, it was lit and warm and he smelled one of Annie's endless pies warming in the oven.

Carl and Lydia had trekked the snowy roads from the Hilltop just for him, their happy presence marking the third Miracle of Rick Grime's Christmas season.

“Next time...” he said, to a befuddled Carl, his mouth full of fresh pecan pie, “...Remind me to pack some chapstick for Negan.”

[artificialqueens]

nobody knows where we might end up, chapter sixteen (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr: plastiquetiaras) | word count: 4413

AN: Thank you so, so much for the lovely feedback on this story. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to read and how much it makes me want to write more and more and more. Writ is the most wonderful beta to exist and this story would not be the same without them.

(then)

The login page of the application website for all of the Ontario medical schools is a sight that fills Vanessa with dread. A simple webpage that has the potential to crush her hopes and dreams a second time, just like it did the year before.

She still remembers her login information from last year, the username and password coming to her easily after typing it so many times while checking her admissions results last spring.

Vanessa opens up her old admissions essays, skimming through them while she absentmindedly pets Riley. She doesn’t necessarily need to redo the essays, per se. They aren’t terrible. She just needs to give them a little upgrade.

She needs reinforcements.

Silky’s at her door in less than fifteen minutes, the promise of Vanessa paying for the pizza that they’re ordering in enough to lure her over. It doesn’t stop Silky, though, from grumbling about it.

“You can’t ask your girl? Ain’t she the one that actually got into med school? I don’t know shit about doctor stuff.” Silky drops the candy that she’s brought over for them to snack on onto the table, and Vanessa wastes no time in popping a starburst into her mouth, mostly to delay her answer.

“Nope,” Vanessa keeps her voice light as she turns on their desktop computer, “Brooke’s been busy with the first semester starting.”

It’s not a lie, not necessarily. Brooke really hasn’t been around, spending most of her time in lectures and studying her ass off at the library, and so what if Vanessa doesn’t want to join her for those study sessions anymore? Sitting with Brooke and all of her new med school friends that actually got in on the first try and would probably look at Vanessa like she’s stupid or something. For still being stuck in undergrad and not getting in anywhere.

Nah. She’s better off studying and working on things in the apartment. She doesn’t need Brooke’s help for applications this year.

Not like it helped last year, anyway.

“Besides, you’re the one getting an English degree. You know shit.” Silky’s in the process of applying for master’s programs in English, something that seems completely bonkers to Vanessa. Who would even want to go to school to just write and write and write? But she knows Silky, and her goal of becoming a professor and getting her PhD. A doctor in her own way.

“True. At least I’m literate.” Silky starts snickering before Vanessa even catches what she’s saying.

“Bitch, you didn’t even know what ‘bradycardia’ meant the other day when I told you ‘bout my volunteering shift.” Vanessa swats at her side, Silky not even flinching.

“How the hell would I know that? All the fancy doctor speak. Normal folk like me don’t know that shit.”

“Whatever. Help me make these essays better.” Vanessa hands Silky another slice of pizza for good measure.

“Why don’t you submit a rap instead? Imagine performing it at the interviews.” Silky grins before taking a bite of the slice.

“Bitch, focus.” Vanessa snaps her fingers in front of Silky’s face (‘Alright, alright!’), before letting her read.

“Found your problem.” Silky’s proclamation comes after a lot of squinting at the computer screen, mostly because she hasn’t brought her glasses along with her.

Vanessa leans forward in her seat, eyes widening. “What?” What has she missed? What giant, glaringly obvious mistake has she made?

“It’s boring.”

Vanessa makes a face. “It’s a med school app, Silk, not a mystery thriller novel.”

“Nah, like - it’s interesting, sure, you talking about have you’ve done. But you gotta make it emotional. Tug at their heartstrings. Make them tear up or some shit while they read it, make them see why they have to let you in, because it’s your fucking destiny.”

“That’s a tad dramatic.” Vanessa looks back over at the screen, skimming over the paragraphs. “How do I make them cry over it?”

“Easy. Tragic backstory.”

“What?”

“Whether it’s real or not, doesn’t matter. Talk about how your grandpa died or some shit and the doctor was oh so wonderful while he was in the hospital and it made you wanna save lives. I dunno.” Silky shrugs, leaning back in her seat.

“My abuelo died before I was born-”

“Then come up with some other shit.” Silky gives her a look. “You’re weirdly creative sometimes. You can come up with something.”

“Isn’t that a bit exp-exploitive?” The thought makes Vanessa a bit uneasy. She doesn’t want to make up shit for the sake of making an admissions officer get emotional.

“Exploitative. And nah. It’s called gaming the system.” Silky almost looks proud of herself. “That’s what everyone else is doing.”

“Brooke didn’t do that.” At least, Vanessa thinks so. She hadn’t read the final drafts of her essays last year.

“Still. A little extra something something wouldn’t hurt.” Silky says it as if Vanessa needs to sprinkle more salt on her food, or something.

Vanessa sighs. At this point, Silky’s advice is her best option. She doesn’t know what else to do, anyway. “So what shall I come up with?”

“I dunno, bitch. Your mom’s a nurse, ain’t she?”

“Yeah.” Vanessa’s voice is curious, not quite sure where Silky is going with this. Why does it matter what her mom does?

“Come up with some emotional bullshit related to that. About how she pulled you towards the medical field.”

“I mean, she kinda did-”

“There we go! Talk about that first before all your fancy accomplishments. Butter them up.”

Vanessa casts an uncertain look at her computer. “Will they even care about that?”

“Bitch, you’re gonna make them care.” Silky grabs the last slice of pizza. “Now get writing.”

“You’re coming home for Thanksgiving, right? Otherwise I won’t make the pecan pie, you’re the only one who eats it.” Vanessa’s mom’s voice is muffled on the other end of the phone, the sounds of voices and beeps nearly drowning her out. “Another code blue. Damn, this one’s like the third of the day.”

“Yeah, gonna come home. I miss you.” It’s true, she does. No matter how much Vanessa doesn’t want to sound like a five year old, she misses her mom.

“You got a fever or something? You’re acting strangely loving, mija.”

Vanessa snorts. “What, a daughter can’t miss her mom every once in a while?”

“With you, it’s either that you want something or that something’s wrong. So which is it?”

“Neither. Nothing’s wrong. Just working on the essays.” The words on Vanessa’s computer screen are beginning to blur together, becoming one big wad of text that doesn’t have any meaning to her anymore.

“And how are those going?”

“Slow.” Vanessa sighs, resting her head on her folded arms. “What if there’s no point?”

“To what?”

“Applying.” Vanessa hates saying it, but it’s beginning to cross her mind more often than she wants it to. “What if I’m not going to get in again?”

“If you want it that bad you gotta keep trying, baby. Ain’t possible to reach a goal if you give up.” Vanessa’s mom’s voice softens on the other end of the phone, and it makes Vanessa wish that she was here with her, stroking her hair and making her hot chocolate like she used to do when Vanessa was a kid.

But can Vanessa even reach the goal? Is it even accessible to her? What if she just applies over and over, watching everyone move on around her and start their careers and just staying stuck in this purgatory, trying to chase a dream that was never meant to be hers?

Maybe it never will be.

If it was, she would have gotten it the first time around.

“Why wasn’t I good enough to get in the first try, Mama?” Vanessa nearly whispers the words, ones that she’s been holding back while trying to get through her fourth year and be happy for Brooke, because she deserves it, she does.

But it’s hard, it’s hard because Vanessa wants it so, so bad. Still wants it as much as Brooke did and she’s worked her ass off the same amount, too. Having it so close in her grasp, right there but not quite close enough makes Vanessa feel like she’ll never reach it.

Vanessa’s been trying, really trying to be okay with it. Convincing herself that it’s fine, really, that she didn’t get in. Because hey, she has the chance to finish her fourth year off, enjoy graduation with all of their friends. Apply to even more schools this time around.

But she feels behind.

It’s hard not to, when Brooke comes home every day talking about anatomical systems and things that they’ve learned in undergrad but except for her now it matters, because she’s on the path to becoming an actual doctor. It’s in her future.

Vanessa’s not there yet.

“Oh, baby.” Her mom’s voice is laced with sympathy and Vanessa almost hates it, because it just reminds her that she’s failed. “You are good enough. You are always good enough. There are so, so many people who apply to these damn schools, often with similar grades and accomplishments and it’s like a lottery, being picked. You are good enough, and it will be yours. I know this ‘cause of mom intuition. Trust it.”

Vanessa sighs. “You can’t predict the future, though.”

“And neither can you. So don’t start catastrophizing on me.”

“I’ll try.” They’re empty words, really. It’s hard. She hadn’t been good enough last year.

Is she really going to get there now?

“Remember cousin Penelope?” Vanessa’s mom cuts through the grey cloud of her thoughts. “The one in LA?”

“Who?” Vanessa really can’t remember but it’s not her fault, not really, when there are more cousins in her family than she can count.

“Physician. Has her own family practice down there. We went and stayed at her beach house when you were three.”

“How would I remember a vacation from when I was three, Mami?” Though the word physician keeps replaying itself over and over in her head.

Vanessa hadn’t known that she has a physician cousin. That’s useful.

Vanessa’s mom seems to be on the same page. “Maybe you can talk to her. Get some perspective, see what school she went to, if she knows any more that are worth applying. Apply to some in the States this year. Wouldn’t hurt. We got family on each coast, anyway.”

“Yeah, but-” Vanessa bites her lip. “I don’t wanna leave Ontario, not really.”

Could she? What would it mean? Not only for her, but for her and Brooke, her other half that she’s been together with for more than three years-

“No one’s saying you have to. But would it hurt? Just increases your odds for the better.”

“I guess.” It wouldn’t hurt to apply to more schools, not really. Sure, it’ll be a couple more essays and some more money down the drain for the application fees, but it’s more of a chance.

That things will work out the way Vanessa wants them to.

“Just give Penelope a call. See what she has to say. I’ll send you her number.”

“‘Kay.” A call Vanessa can do. Just to find out more about what’s out there for her, options wise.

Besides, it’s not like she’ll actually ever move to the opposite coast, right?

(now)

“Just tell us.”

“Tell you what? There’s nothing to tell.”

“Come on, Brooke.” Yvie’s voice sounds almost whiny from her spot in front of Vanessa in the line for Starbucks, where part of the neuro team is grabbing their morning coffee. “I haven’t seen you look this chill in like, ever.”

“Chill? We have an occipital tumour removal in 45, definitely not chill.” Brooke looks at the Starbucks menu, and Vanessa has to try to keep an incredibly straight face as she watches the sight unfolding in front of her.

“There’s something up. Or someone. Ooh, are you finally seeing someone?” Plastique rises on her tippy toes in excitement, though still barely only passes Brooke’s shoulder in height.

Yvie turns around to face Vanessa, nearly making her jump. “Hey, Vanessa. What do you think? Does Brooke look different to you than usual?”

Vanessa has to hold back a laugh at the sight of Brooke behind Yvie, the expression on her face screaming help help help. She keeps her tone light. “Ooh, I dunno. We gotta interact more at the hospital, Dr. Hytes, I can’t tell.”

“Aren’t you guys always fighting over something?” Plastique pipes in, grabbing her coffee from the cashier. “At least I hear enough yelling to tell. Though you guys haven’t fought in awhile, according to my eardrums.”

“We’ve, ah, found more productive ways to smooth over our disagreements.” Vanessa watches as Brooke lets out a muffled noise at her statement, and it’s all she can do to not crack up right then and there.

She’s going to mess with Brooke, though. Have some fun, as if they didn’t wake up in her bed this morning in each other’s arms, the best hours of sleep Vanessa’s had in ages. “Seeing someone new, Dr. Hytes?”

Brooke shoots her a look, though Vanessa can see the mirth behind her eyes. She’s having fun with this, too. “Not someone you would know, Dr. Mateo.”

“Are you sure? I know a lot of someones.” Vanessa grins when Brooke rolls her eyes good naturedly.

“You’re funny.”

“A regular comedian. Lord knows why I became a doctor, myself.”

Brooke shrugs, lifting the cup of coffee that the cashier hands her in Vanessa’s direction. “I’d come to your standup show.”

“Would you, now? Wouldn’t even have to pay for a ticket, I’d give you a VIP pass.” Vanessa’s missed stupidity like this, being able to just be silly with Brooke.

Brooke grins. “I’m a VIP now, huh?”

“Only sometimes.” Vanessa nudges Brooke’s side, tearing her gaze away from her for long enough to notice that Yvie and Plastique are looking between the two of them as if they each have three heads.

Brooke coughs. “Well, coffee. See you around, Dr. Mateo.”

Vanessa has to hold back a laugh, a task that only gets more difficult when Brooke does a thumbs up at her.

“Good luck with your procedure.” Her own coffee is ready, then, and she heads in the opposite direction towards the cardiac units after grabbing it. She wastes no time in pulling out her phone.

VM: real smooth there

BLH: THAT WAS A LOT.

VM: and HYSTERICAL

BLH: I’ll truly never live this down with them.

VM: u flashed me a thumbs up. absolutely iconic

BLH: What’s wrong with a thumbs up?

VM: the fact that u have to ask that speaks for itself

BLH: Yvie and Plastique keep asking why we got along just now…

VM: LOL

VM: I wonder if they’ll guess

VM: imagine

BLH: They’d lose their absolute minds. That would be hilarious, though.

They haven’t actually talked about the others, yet. If they’re going to say anything to anyone else.

Heck, they haven’t even talked about themselves. They went on a date last night and woke up in each other’s arms and no sex was involved and yet somehow, it had been one of the best nights that Vanessa’s ever had.

She wonders if Brooke feels the same way about it.

Brooke had woken Vanessa up with peppered kisses along her neck, her shoulder blades, making her hum with pleasure, and she doesn’t think she’s ever had such a nice 6:00 am wake up in her life. Brooke had wrapped an arm around her waist while they had eaten breakfast as if it was the easiest thing to do in the world.

Vanessa had forgotten how soft, how touchy Brooke is sometimes. How much she’s missed it, too. The feeling of leaning into Brooke’s touch, of being allowed to actually do so.

BLH: Tumour removal time. Wanna grab some food after work?

Vanessa bites her lip. She’d been planning to go to the hospital library after work, to look through things for their joint consult surgery that’s happening soon. There’s just something about the surgical plan that’s been bugging her, that she wants to double check. Iron out once she has the research background behind it. But it means a late night most likely, of combing through research articles and looking for specific information that’ll take ages. She can’t do it on the clock, either, when her day is so booked up with other procedures and documentation and consults.

But she wants to hang out with Brooke. Sure, they’ve just spent the last evening together, but Vanessa’s not tired of her. How could she be, when someone like Brooke feels so familiar, yet so new? Making Vanessa’s heart beat just a little bit faster, while at the same time feeling like comfort and home?

VM: gonna spend the evening holed up in the library going over stuff for our surgery :(( don’t want to but it’s so soon so gotta get it done

The three dots on Vanessa’s screen showing her that Brooke is typing make her uneasy. What if Brooke’s going to be upset with her, not want to hang out anymore? What if she hates her again?

BLH: Want some help?

Well.

VM: you’d do that??

BLH: Of course. Hey, cardio may not be my specialty, but it’s our joint surgery. I can help you comb through some research, if you need it. Be here to bounce ideas off of.

VM: are u sure?? A total time suck of the evening

BLH: Two heads are better than one, no? Plus I can spend more time with you, too.

BLH: If you’d want that, of course.

BLH: Your choice, but, the offer is there.

The flurry of texts make Vanessa smile. She can almost picture Brooke on the other end, her typing becoming more and more nervous.

VM: i’d like that :) thank u sm

BLH: Anytime.

VM: anyone tell u that you’re pretty great?

BLH: Nah, that’s you!

God, she’s got it bad for a certain blonde. Again.

“Hey.” Brooke collapses in the chair beside her, the library empty save for the two of them. “Sorry I’m late.”

Vanessa looks away from her computer screen, over at Brooke who’s shedding her lab coat on her chair. “Imma be here for a while, anyway, no rush. How’d your procedures go today?”

Brooke brightens. “Not bad. Got the tumour in the a.m., had a craniectomy in the afternoon. Morning tumour had no complications despite being ridiculously difficult to reach.”

Vanessa holds out a high five, sending Brooke a look when she doesn’t return it immediately, until she does, lifting up her hand and grinning. “Brainy queen. Literally.”

“Funny.” Brooke snorts, before looking at Vanessa’s screen. “So, what are we looking for?”

“I’m trying to find case studies on bovine mitral valves and how they hold up under unrelated surgical conditions, because this patient-”

“Wait.” Brooke holds up a hand to pause Vanessa’s spiel. “Bovine as in…cow?”

“Yes? Cow? Mitral valves from cows have often been used in mitral valve replacements in the heart-”

Brooke looks at Vanessa as if she’s suddenly lost her mind. “Cow heart valves?”

Vanessa snickers. “Damn, you really don’t remember anything from cardiology, do you? Valves from pigs have also been used in the past, when mechanical valves aren’t an option for a patient.“

“Pig heart valves?!”

“Oh my god, this is incredible.” Vanessa’s having way too much fun with this. She knows that cardio is not Brooke’s specialty, but seeing her look of absolute disbelief is way more entertaining than it should be.

“So they just…put those animal valves in for patients whose valves need replacing?” Brooke looks like she’s having her mind blown in the most hilarious possible way.

“Yup.” Vanessa pops her lips on the last sound. “We use mechanical ones too, but bovine or porcine ones are an older technique and often are taken to by the body much better.”

“Jesus. I don’t remember learning that in cardiology when taking it in school.”

“That’s ‘cause you didn’t specifically learn about cardiac surgery, being in neuro. And hey, there’s probably endless shit I don’t know about neurosurgery, either.” Vanessa pats Brooke’s shoulder. “Now c’mon, help me find some actually relevant research articles.”

“Okay, found this one by Yang et al about the structural integrity of bovine heart valves under strenuous circumstances-”

“Oooh, print that one.” Vanessa scoots over closer towards Brooke’s computer so that she can add to her pile of articles to sort through. “Maybe it’ll be relevant.”

Vanessa looks through the articles with a fine toothed comb, for something, anything to make her more secure about their joint procedure. Looking for ideas for contingency plans in case the patient’s heart issues go south during the surgery, due to his valve. She wants to be covered.

“Will do.” Brooke lets out a yawn as she clicks print, making Vanessa look down at her watch.

“Damn, it’s already ten. We’ve been here for awhile. You don’t have to stay any longer if you don’t want to, you know.”

Brooke gives her a look. “Are you kidding? Of course I’m gonna stay and help you out. Besides, it’s kind of interesting.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa raises an eyebrow. Cardio had never been Brooke’s favourite back in school.

Brooke shrugs. “Honestly, not being tested on it makes it better.”

“I feel that. The added pressure was something.” Vanessa thinks back to med school, when the pressure and the deadlines and the sheer amount of information that she had to take in nearly broke her brain. There were so many times during med school that she’d been so overwhelmed, tired, just wanting to come home. Telling herself that she just had a few years left until she could be free of tests and assignments and studying into the late hours of the night.

Though starting internship and residency hadn’t really been a break, either. The late night shifts, the crazy workload, the burnout.

If it hadn’t been for the payoff of being a cardiac surgeon, of getting to do what she’s good at and actually enjoys, she probably would have quit years and years ago. Gone into an easier field, maybe an office job, one that didn’t require endless schooling and training.

But she hadn’t had to. And neither had Brooke.

“What do you think med school would have been like, if we went together?” Vanessa can’t keep the question from slipping out of her mouth.

Brooke looks up at her sharply, questions upon questions in her eyes and Vanessa knows why, because they don’t talk about this, about what had happened back then and they’re in a good place now, so why should they?

But she wants to know. And Brooke answers.

“I’m not sure.” Brooke’s voice is soft, cautious. “You think we would have stuck it out the whole time?”

The question makes Vanessa pause. “I dunno. It sure would have made things different.”

“Yeah.” Brooke fiddles with the hem of her lab coat. “Imagine getting through the stress of four years of med school, one year of internship, and three years of residency without biting each other’s heads off.”

“Oh, c’mon.” Vanessa nudges Brooke. “We still wanted to bite each other’s heads off as soon as I started working here.”

Brooke can’t help but let out a laugh at that. “Good point.”

They sit in silence for a moment, and Vanessa can’t stop herself from peeking over at Brooke, at the way her scrubs look incredibly comfy to snuggle into. At the expression on her face that’s both pensive and bittersweet.

Vanessa gets it. It’s hard to know what they’ve lost, if they’ve even lost anything at all, from the way that things happened. Would they have ended up in their specific careers had they stayed together? Would Vanessa even have had the chance to become a cardiac surgeon if she hadn’t gone to LA?

She could have done it in a better way, though.

But it’s not something she wants to think about now, while she’s supposed to be sifting through research, preparing for the surgery. She can mull it over with a bottle of wine another time.

“Ness. Ness.”

Vanessa feels the hands running through her hair before she registers the soft voice by her ear. She blinks the sleep away, squinting under the harsh fluorescent lights of the library.

Brooke looks adorably rumpled, her mascara smudged under her eyes and her hair starting to  come out of her bun.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Brooke smiles back, and Vanessa hasn’t seen her eyes crinkle like that since university, a fact which she files away to think about later.

Vanessa looks around the library, still as deserted, but now with rays sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Did we-”

“Fully fell asleep in the library, yep.” Brooke nods, looking at her watch. “It’s around 7:15. Still got some time before our shifts start.”

“Good. Imagine having to rush to our floors like this.” Vanessa tries to run her hands through her hair, intent on putting it up in a ponytail, but her fingers catch and tangle in her locks, making her wince.

“Good thing we’re in scrubs every day, at least we don’t look like we’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes, despite the fact that we fully are.” Brooke tugs in a lock of Vanessa’s hair. “Want me to braid it back?”

Vanessa makes a face. “It’s all tangled.”

“Don’t worry, I can be gentle.” Brooke’s voice is soft and so Vanessa gives in, nodding, and grins when Brooke’s face lights up. The feeling of Brooke’s hands in her hair waking her up had been soft, so incredibly soft and soothing and she definitely isn’t going to complain about feeling it again.

She can’t help but lean into Brooke’s touch as she starts combing through the tangles, and is almost disappointed when Brooke finishes her braid, letting it fall down her back.

“There. Gorgeous.” Brooke’s looking at her as if she matters, as if she’s pretty at seven in the morning, as if the two of them didn’t just fall asleep at a table with their faces buried in books, reminiscent of a time a decade ago when their problems were so, so, different.

Her words make Vanessa’s cheeks all warm, a blush rising on her face with equal parts happiness, and she knows the adoring look on Brooke’s face is mirrored on her own.

[star-villager]

Ezra: Month 1 of Animal Crossing New Horizons!

Hello all! I’m here to tell my journey of the first month of New Horizons on Cillia Island!

There’ll be lots of pictures! I hope you enjoy! Future updates will probably be daily because this is... long at first... but I promise it slows down!

This post covers 32 days (skipping a few). It is indented to be a fun, long, read! I’ll say it’s a 10-15 minute read just to be on the longer side!

-Ezra; Island Resident Representative; Local Island Decorator; Mayor of Cillia (if it had a mayor hehe!)

Thursday, March 19th, 4pm -7GMT. The virus is present, but just starting. I have been home for not even 24 hours of my job that was supposed to keep me out of town all March. I make a phone call to a local Gamestop, asking if they’re still open, and how the midnight release of Animal Crossing is going to work. The worker tells me I can go pick it up right then, because they’re going to be closing early and had JUST gotten a phone call from corporate that they could give it out early - you can assume what I did /immediately/ after lol.

~~~

Starting was incredibly easy! I’ve had my dead name as my New Leaf Mayor forever, and I loved that city name so Ezra and Cillia it was! And we began! My starting villagers were Cherry and Roald with Cherry Trees (fitting!), and I said I wasn’t gonna restart no matter what... so here we go!

I picked a town that had a West Beach River Mouth as well as a South River Mouth - which matched my town in New Leaf! (The south exit, and the flow of the river - but the west exit would be where my original upper waterfall was so the shape was the same). Picked northern hemisphere (where I am). And placed my house right in a river bend (with the initial plan to section me off into my own island within an island!). Cherry and Roald’s homes were placed along the west-running river right at the top, with not much effort or forethought. Not that it was a bad thing! I knew they wouldn’t be permanent villagers, but wanted to give them some beautiful scenery while they were here.

I can definitely tell that I’m still acting and thinking like a mayor even thought I’m only an island rep. ... this doesn’t change bwahaha!

Day 1 March 19th, was all setup and prep for our REAL day 1! Blathers already was about to have a decent encyclopedia, and I was getting nook miles left and right - already expecting a house instead of a tent the next day. I wasn’t too surprised, I’ve done this song and dance before, and I’m just here to have a great time in my island paradise! Getting Blathers was definitely my highest priority!

Day 2 March 20th, was... difficult... giving 15 things to Blathers one at a time and finding 30 iron for the Nooklings was excruciating lol - but getting fossils and a pole vault to absolutely DECIMATE the weed ecosystem filled me with a glee that I’m sure you can understand. I managed to upgrade my house, get Blathers and Nooks Cranny all in one day *whew*. Now, time to have some fun!

I build my first QR code which was a cool outfit I called PRIDE Coat! It is a black coat with drawstrings and pockets on the front - a lil’ trans flag on the left arm, a bi flag on the right arm, and my (pretty decent!) attempt at a rainbow of paint (in the gay flag colors) falling down my back! And I made an Iwatobi Swim Club Beanie to match the one I wear every day!!

I then played with my Passport a bit to have my title be “Future Fish” which is Free! Eternal Summer (the second season’s) Ending Song!!!! Which I thought was SUPER cute and VERY me. (It’s my second fave anime. I plan on making a Reigisa outfit in the future!!).

Already by the end of Day 2 I had my hair customization options, the tool wheel, and the DIY that I needed to buy. Everything Nook was offering I managed to get my grubby little day 2 hands on! So you KNOW my hair went to pink pigtails IMMEDIATELY. And took /many/ photos. But since my outfits are all the same just imagine the ones you just saw but with pink instead of blonde!

With that it was time to get my 3 villagers that would accompany Cherry and Roald (This correlates to getting the iron for Nooklings!) I wanted to grab the first 3 villagers that I saw just to try some new friends this go around - as I had already planned on making my New Leaf family my permies! So my first three were Ketchup (nice!), Hornsby (Aww!!), and... GALA!?!?

Well how convenient! That was one permie immediately out of the way!! Welcome back, Gala!!! So excited to have you on the island!

Then I caught an Oarfish and saw *GASP* WISP!!!! To which, I immediately ran up to him and demanded he bring my girlfriend, Cece the Squirrel, to the island. He, instead, got spooked, had me collect his spirit, and offered me items. *sigh* Ok - can’t get Cece that way - so I decided to sleep!

How naive I was...

Day 3 March 21st, was both good and bad! I had access to Nooklings, but that was about it. Blathers was getting a crowded amount of critters outside his roped off building, but it would be all worth it, tomorrow. But!! I found my first spider island! Which I sold off to Nooklings and happily went to sleep!

Day 4 March 22nd, had SO MUCH to offer! Blathers, Daisy Mae, Harvy, WHEW. Pretty sure I had a visit from Gulliver either today or yesterday, too! Nothing could POSSIBLY ruin this day!!

Oh how wrong.

How so terribly wrong I was.

Animal Crossing New Horizons is an incredible game that lets you invite so many villagers to your island!

All of them. But 14.  

14 Villagers from New Leaf are not available. The Sanrio Characters. And the Amiibo Characters.

No Felyne. No Ganon, Epona, Medli, or W. Link. No Viche or Inkwell. No Rilla, Chai, Morty, or Etoille.

No Toby.

No Chelsea.

...

No Cece.

...

To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I was absolutely crushed. Not only were 3 of my permies out, but the one villager I couldn’t live without, wasn’t allowed in the game. She didn’t even get a poster.

So I did what any crushed lover would do, and made a memoir to her.

And it started raining. Poetic. (I was only cheered up slightly when I got to catch a Coelacanth!) I didn’t do this until much later (April 4th) but for the sake of not talking about her too much, I would open New Leaf and wrote her a goodbye love letter, which, honestly, makes me tear up whenever I read it.

And I went to sleep.

I have nothing for Day 5 other than scanning all my amiibo cards for the POSTERS which are UNDOUBTEDLY my FAVORITE new feature in the game!!

Day 6, March 24th, GALA MOVED IN! I was so excited, and it was definitely needed. My best friend also came over and we goofed off and we met each other’s villagers! Then I went to an island tour and got A PANSY HYBRID ISLAND!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I went crazy. Absolutely destroyed that ecosystem. I went full feral. MINE. ALL MINE!!!

And I caught my first Sturgeon!! Which was awesome because I only had the rare fish left in my March collection! Trying to get a Golden Trout, I made many many fish bait, and got the 200 clam achievement! Which was exciting because that unlocked “Mermaid” for titles!! I doubt I’ll change from Future Fish, but Mermaid would be a second pick!

For Day 7 I went to a good friend’s village and desperately tried to make Chiyuki Fujito’s blue dress from Runway de Waratte... it didn’t work... but I like the attempt! (Will send pics in messenger if you’re curious!).

Day 8, March 26th, was the day ISABELLE WAS HERE!!! Welcome to your island paradise, QUEEN. I definitely dressed for the part ;)

This, of course, opened up tunes and flag options! Flag was incredibly easy. It’s going to stay my picture of Cece until she’s added back into the game (which will probably be never, so...)

The tunes was much harder for me. But since I couldn’t think of anything else I made it “SO. NO. CHI. NO. SA. DA. ME.” from the first Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Opening (which is, ironically, what is playing as I type this... SO NO CHI NO SA DA ME <- was written in time with the music playing. Incredible.) It’s definitely not going to be that forever, but for now it makes me giggle!

Nothing for Day 9 except for a SICK tarantula island :) love those furry babes! I also built my campsite! Tomorrow was going to be big!! Who on Earth was going to move in!?

Day 10, March 28th, now, I have what I like to call “chaotic luck”. I’ll catch the bus, but my gosh did I almost miss it. I was absolutely positive I failed that test, and I did, but the question I messed up doesn’t count and I passed! Cece isn’t in the game but do you know who’s at my campsite??

OFFICE

HETEROCHROMIA

TSUNDERE

TRANS

CAT

EXTRAORDINAIRE

RAAAAAAAAAAAYMOND!!!!

Can you even imagine my face??? Can you IMAGINE the jaw drop??  I moved him next to me IMMEDIATELY.

Day 12, March 30th, I saw kicks for the first time!!! Love that funky newsie skunk!

Day 13, March 31st, I saw Flick for the first time!!! Went on a mad tarantula hunt and made BANK. Fun story, I thought both Flick and C.J. were girls, so when I learned Flick was a boy I was really upset because I thought a canon gay ship was now straight, but WHOOPS they’re BOTH boys! 😎 Nice.

I also saw Celeste for the first time!!! Gosh how I missed her!! I actually sat and got all 200 stars in one night, just because of how much I like wishing on falling stars!!!

Day 14, April 1st, The Nightmare Begins. Love him or Hate him, Zipper was here. I won’t go on about the eggs. Everyone talks about the eggs. They sucked, fishing was a nightmare, not a big fan. I would end up not getting all the sakura DIYs which was very upsetting (but I’ll just get them next year). In INCREDIBLE news I got a golden trout!!! Which was the last thing I needed in my March encyclopedia - and it was on to April hunting! Every night thing I could get, I did! So I decided to set up my last 4 houses, and focus on getting K.K. Slider finally to my island!

The first house sold naturally to Pecan! NICE! I love squirrels so much! She was very welcome!

Day 15, April 2nd, in the interest in getting new villagers, I went on a tour and there she was: MERENGUE! She’s, truthfully, not a favorite of mine. She’s SO cute, but not someone I wanted permanently. However, she’s my other best friend’s FAVORITE and she doesn’t have a switch. So, there was NO WAY I wasn’t taking Merengue onto my island. I haven’t sent my friend pics, yet, but I hope I can soon!! She’s gonna be so happy!

Today was the first day I met C.J. which... stunning. Absolutely jaw dropping. I’m SMITTEN with a TAKEN BEAVER. He calls me fashionista. Asks about my anglersona. Takes selfies of/with me. He’s truly the ideal. I’d invite him back any day!

Over the next 3 days, Freya and Bruce move in as my last 2 villagers giving us a grand starting total of: Cherry, Roald, Ketchup, Hornsby, Gala, Raymond, Pecan, Merengue, Freya, and Bruce! Not bad not bad!

Day 19, April 6th, THE BEST GIRL IS HEEERE. LABEL CAME TO MY TOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME. I might have cried, honestly. I cannot believe someone that incredible would want to come to my island. She asked for me to give her an official look. Are you kidding me? Easy breezy. For my perfect outfit she rewarded me a Label Hat. Oh? DESIGNER? I was awestruck. The design was IMPECCABLE. The flavor was IMMACULATE.

One of my villagers also happened to gift me a Pink SPRITE COSTUME??? I, honestly, have never been more in love with an outfit in my entire life??? A pink Peter Pan outfit??? LEGENDARY.

Day 20, April 7th, I don’t quite remember what day K.K. Slider visited the island when I hit my 3 star rating - so we’ll say it was today lol. That meant ISLAND EDITING, but I didn’t know what to do, yet, so I didn’t worry too much about it!

Label’s hat came in MORE COLORS in the store today. YOU BET I bought all of them. The talent. But this meant that I had a pink hat to match my pink sprite costume and you bet I was LIVING my best life. I had also finished the Anklyosaurus which is my FAVORITE dinosaur so I was LIVING it up.

Later, Ketchup would approach me and ask to move. I was happy for her to explore new lands and bid her farewell, and gave her a sweet goodbye. With that, it was hunting time, and I found the perfect villager that would set everything in motion.

Day 22, April 9th, Label VISITS AGAIN!!!!!! Unfortunately, she asked for a sporty look, which I couldn’t pull off perfectly :/ So no new item from her... but my OUTFIT WAS FIRE AND WE WERE MAD CUTE TOGETHER.

Day 23, April 10th, the villager has moved in, the cryptid gyroid herself, COCO!!!

And her moving in gave me a BRILLIANT idea. I’d like to keep it under wraps for now, but I’m so, so, SO happy she’s here!

Day 24, April 11th, The Fishing Tourney. The Summer tourney will be significantly easier for me, now that I know you can double your points by fishing with someone else, but it took me HOURS to collect all the clams and get to 300 points. It wasn’t really worth it, but I love fish so much so I wasn’t going to miss a SINGLE thing. I got that gold trophy and I’m SO proud of myself.

Also my fishing outfit could slay for MILES

Straight Fire.

Day 25, April 12th, With a golden trophy in hand and the last day of eggies, I was feeling really confident. I had the means and the idea to change cliffs + water for a couple days and just... made what my brain came up with! I’ll keep this vague for now, because I’m really excited about the final results! Just know that everyday I edit a little bit more and come up with more ideas!

Day 26, April 13th, Happy Homestuck, Neil Bangs out the Tunes, and Thomas Sanders goes to the Wedding Day!! And it did NOT disappoint. Label for A 3RD TIME!!! She must like me as much as I like her >w<!! Today she gave out her cap!!! It’s, honestly, not my thing, I’d rather stick with the brim hats, but I do think they’re cute!! So I would buy them all the next day! The Able Sister’s haul on Day 27 was oh my gosh amazing!!! They had the cap, of course, but they also had THE OTHER SPRITE COSTUMES!! Which I bought all of them. And now I wear, near exclusively, this outfit in 5 different colors bwahaha!

Day 30, April 17th, I got my first golden item!!! The slingshot! Nice! Over the past few days, I’ve just been designing, moving houses, and building ramps! Learning new myth debunks, stuff like that!

I was also blessed with 3 encounters :OOOO I didn’t know this was even POSSIBLE!?

Day 31, April 18th, Disaster Strikes. I’ve been moving so many homes that I didn’t consider that a villager couldn’t move in because you were already doing a home thing for the day. So when I went to invite camper Gonzo to my town he declined!? I was devastated. He was SO cute and I thought he could move into Bruce’s house to keep the peace of personalities! I think he’s someone in the future who I’ll ask for a poster of or ask for an amiibo card of! I know I’m going to check the campsite first before moving any buildings from here on out! D’:

And that brings us to today,

Day 32, April 19th, one month from the day I started. I’ve been having the TIME of my life! There’s definitely been some ups and downs, but I have a goal in mind and it’s keeping me so focused! I organized an entire flower field today!! Due to a turnip mishap, I happen to be 2 days ahead of everyone, but I have been good about time traveling other than that. This means that I am fortunate enough to get my Nooklings upgrade 2 days early and they’ll be open tomorrow!!! I’m... I’m so excited!!! I NEED more flower seeds!!!!!!!

The future looks incredibly bright on Cillia island, and I cannot wait to hear about everyone else’s month!!

Thank you for your time. Please enjoy these random favorite photos of mine!

[erikismybitch]

Mini’s day out . (Mini series)

“You’re making it seem like I can’t take care of a baby !”

Brianna and Erik argued back and forth about Mini. It was the first time the two of you had alone time since she was born. Brianna agreed to watch her for the night while the two of you went on a much needed date . It had been seven months , seven long crybaby , poopie diaper changing months .

It was something about the way Brianna held her , it set Erik off . He felt like she didn’t put enough “care” into it as he explained . Overprotective couldn’t put a dent in his behavior.

“You gotta play music , or else she won’t go to sleep . If she cries too much , call me and I’ll come get her” Erik went on and on with his daddy rules . Brianna was only taking her for the night, hours to be exact, and the two of you would pick her up early in the morning . She was fighting herself from mentioning the whole Jamaica fiasco . Even though you took him back , Brianna still had him in the dog house .

“You know CPR?” He questioned, Brianna laughed but she stopped once she realized he was serious .

“Girl , come down here and get your man!” She yelled loudly . You heard her , but you were busy squeezing your feet into your black daffodile heels.

“Erik!” You yelled , in that parental tone you were mastering . “Brianna sees her almost every day, she knows what to do “ your voice and steps became more prevalent as you walked down to the living room .

Erik took a moment to look at you , for a little longer than normal . He hadn’t seen you this way in a long time . Hair down, make up on and a tight dress . It was the heels that got to him, turned on by the muscle flex in your calves . Erik took note to make you wear the heels in the bedroom later tonight .

Once you noticed the way he was looking at you , a look of fluster took over your face . “What?” You said shyly, as if you were a teen and he first laid eyes on you .

Erik smirked and grabbed Mini’s diaper bag to give to Brianna .

“Oh, so now you trust me” Brianna snatched the bag and held it obver her shoulder . She saw exactly how Erik was looking at you .

“Nah, You good” Erik spoke to Brianna lowly, while still looking at you . Usually a look like that ended up with you laid out on your back, with his head between your legs .

“Help Brianna put the car seat in her car” you directed. You gave Mini a couple of kisses on her face before she left. Erik did what you said and walked with her to her car . You went in search for a jacket and purse . As soon as you found the right combination, Erik came back in .

“We’re gonna go get this food, and then...” he dragged on

“And then what?” You asked, gawking at him . He looked so handsome in his denim coat and Cartier’s . You could smell the Tom Ford cologne that you loved .

“And then I’m fucking the shit out of you when we get back”

You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist . Your body pulled closely to his as you looked up at him .

“All around the house ? “ You asked , the both of you wanted to take full advantage of being baby free tonight . That included the blunt filled with the sour skittles strain that Erik pulled from his pocket .

“Where you want it?” His eager hand cupped and massaged the center of your ass. “You want some dick on the couch? “

“Not on my couch” You hissed , it was still fairly new.

“You want this dick on the counter, is that good for you?” He squeezed your ass tighter, getting a feel of your pantied lips inbetween his fingers .

“Yeah, I want it there “ You inched on your toes to give his lips a kiss . Erik then placed the blunt to his lips , took the lighter from his pocket and sparked it .

“How about the roof, can we fuck on there too?” He inhaled , voice groggy and deep from the smoke .

“As long as you don’t drop me , daddy”

Erik groaned and slapped your ass hard, you squealed and kissed him again. He loved when you called him that . If he had it his way, he’d eat you for dinner. But he was actually hungry and so where you . After the both out you were good and high , you and Erik lead off to dinner . Plus, the munchies were kicking in.

Erik drove to the restaurant . It was one he had reserved a month ago. It was that exclusive . It was an upscale steak restaurant , something that both of you loved . The hostess found the reservation and led the both of you to a semi-secluded table .

The waitress came in an instant with water and suggestions. Erik ordered two appetizers for the table and red wine was served early. The waitress left to put the orders in, but not after assuring she would be back for a moment to take the main courses.

Your stomach began to growl, so much so that Erik heard it . It sounded like gas, which caused him to laugh loudly. He reached over to rub your belly.

“I’m so hungry babe” you complained , you grabbed the napkin wrapped butter knife, and spread a generous amount of butter across the complementary bread .

“I’m gonna feed you , just hold on” he continued to laugh at you.

You closed your eyes as you chewed the bread, it was soft and warm. Those munchies . It seemed as if the waitress took ages to come back with more wine and the appetizers. The both of you began to indulge it all of its goodness .

“I’ll come back and take your orders-“ the waitress began to trail off but the loud “No!” from you and Erik stopped her . His mouth full of Calamari dipped in a cream sauce , he began to speak .

“We ready now, let’s do this” he clapped his hands and spoke as if it was a sporting event, the both of you laughed .

“What would you like sir?” The waitress asked .

“I want this ribeye, cooked medium well. A side of mashed potatoes and throw in an order of the lobster Mac and cheese” Erik let out in one breath .

“Baby, you need some vegetables too “ the mom in you complained at the amount of starch he ordered . You almost spit out your wine when you heard him order a side of deep fried okra.

“You said get a vegetable, you ain’t say shit about how it was prepared “

“You right “

The two of you continued to laugh . The waitress was getting irritable , both of you noticed ... but it was only motivation for the two of you to activate the obnoxious behavior even more .

“I would like to order the Cajun pasta , with another side of fried okra and can you bring more bread please?” You closed your menu and handed it to the waitress .

“You sure you want two sides of the Okra, the portions are enough for both of you “ she warned . Erik blinked quickly , held his chest and pretended to be appalled.

“Baby, I think she calling me fat” You whispered, loud enough for the waitress to purposely hear .

“No, that’s not what I’m saying . I just- are you sure you want two ?” She spoke frantically, truly worried that she offended you.

“I’m sure , bring us two”

“And make sure you bring more bread, cause I’m really hungry Madame ” Erik spoke with a French accent and gave her his menu too.

The two of you obviously feeling the effects of the potent red wine and weed, the laughter wouldn’t stop . Even more as the annoyed waitress scattered away from the table .

“I hope she doesn’t spit in our food” You took another generous gulp of the red wine .

“I miss doing shit like this , we used to be on some crazy shit before we had the baby” Erik reminisced.

“Remember after the club, when you skipped out on the bill at Denny’s and you almost left me there !”

“I told you to follow me”

“I was so scared , I didn’t think you would actually do it “ You sat in silence, still eating from one of the many plates in front of you . Erik couldn’t help but laugh .

“I didn’t actually skip the bill , I snuck and paid it. I did it to scare you , to see if you was really down for me “

“Seriously!” Your voice raised an octave higher as you kicked him under the table . “You wanted to see if I was down to what , follow you in the life of crime?”

Erik continued to laugh as he rubbed his shin, it was sore from where your heel landed .

“I just - just wanted to see if you’d do it for me, that’s all “ he softened in his chair , speaking sincerely now . That date was in the early stages of the relationship, back when Erik first began to have real feelings towards you .

“Well , did I make the cut?” You smirked invetween another bite . Knowing exactly how much of Erik you had wrapped around your finger .

“Yeah, but only because...” he began to speak , but stopped as if his sentence was complete.

“Because of what ?” You reacted , eager to hear his next words . He smiled at you again, a real hard smile that made the apples of his cheeks poke out . “Baby?”

“Wassup?” He answered blatantly, then followed it with complete silence again.

But it was all good . Really good. In fact , almost perfect .

The both of you kept eating , laughing at each other just because you were happy. And intoxicated . Sure , other guests were bothered by the loudness but it didn’t matter to either one of you . It didn’t matter . You could be shameless with Erik, and he with you . Guards were always down and words were always pure .

“I love you “ you said , not even bothering to look at him. It rolled off your tongue so casually with the wine .

“I love you too”

The waitress brought over the rest of dinner , and refilled the wine glasses . Within moments Everything was shared and eaten . Erik didn’t even get upset when you ate half of his steak .

“Would the two of you like dessert, you can take it to-go also?” The waitress later asked , with a subtle hint of shade in her voice .

“Y’all got cheesecake?- I mean, y’all got cheesecake , Madame? ” Erik asked her, all the while leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs . The itis was creeping up to take over both of you .

“Hell no, you know you get gas and I don’t feel like dealing with it tonight “ you protested , Erik and dairy were a match made in hell .

“We have chocolate cake , pecan pie, br-“

“Bring us the cake to go and the check “ you told her .

She brought everything, the two of you made your way to Erik’s car after He paid . Erik gave you the keys, claiming that he didn’t feel like driving . He sat in the passenger seat and took a long breath , trying to regain focus . The truth was, the red wine had taken him down. He was just too prideful to admit it . A man, like him , was drunk off wine ? He was embarrassed.

You knew him well . And you were an advid wine drinker , you could handle it . The drive home was smooth , just the sweet act holding of hands and the low bass filled music playing through the speakers . You and Erik both thought it would be weird coming home to no baby . Erik admitted outloud that he was happy about the empty house , even if it was only for a night .

In the bedroom He wasted no time undressing . With nothing on but his smirk , he rested on the bed watching you . Fully clothed , you told him you needed to go to the bathroom .

“Hurry up “

You rolled your eyes and went into the bathroom . You undressed in front of your mirror. The pink lingerie set fit your body a little snug , the baby weight had not left yet . Neither did the small stretch marks Mini gifted you .

“Leave them heels on!” Erik yelled through the door . You laughed and slipped your feet back inside of them. Thank god you’d be on your knees and back most of the night , your feet would kill you otherwise .

“Come on baby, I need that big ass” his tone was low , almost as if he was begging.

You turned your body for a side view, watching your belly poke out . You sucked stomach in , remembering the pre-baby look.

Erik didn’t care , he made it evident that he loved you and your body . It was your own personal insecurities taunting you . You gave yourself a mental pep talk and left the bathroom . Erik’s back was facing the door as you crept towards him.

You heard the unthinkable.

Erik was snoring .

You took off the heels and got in bed with him. Your arms cradled around his waist and your face nuzzled into his back . You thanked god in that moment . Not for giving you Erik , but because you were just as tired as him . The itis had fully taken control .

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

She’s Not Afraid (Girls Talk Boys part 21)

She's not afraid of all the attention She's not afraid of running wild How come she's so afraid of falling in love She's not afraid of scary movies She likes the way we kiss in the dark But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love 

A/N I’m afraid to post links on these now, but you can always message me. I’m still trying to figure out how to do a masterlist

“I can't believe Camille is making us do the shopping” Cher grumbled as they pulled up to the store.

“You lot are the ones making her cook on one of her busiest weeks of the year, whatever that means.”Ashton came around to open her car door for her. That was something Cher didn't know guys did in real life.

Ashton grabbed a cart and Cher pulled up the shopping list Camille made on her phone.

“She really could've ordered this online.” Cher was still pouting.

“I'm pretty sure she just wanted to get everyone out of her hair.” Ashton chuckled. “She even chased Cal away so she could work.”

Cher huffed pouting until Ashton came up beside her. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before murmuring in her ear.

“If you're a good girl today I just might reward you”

Cher felt her irritation vanish and she brightened up anticipating what kind of game Ashton might have in mind.

“Ok let me see the list.” Ashton took charge. “Potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery”

“Celery?” Cher made a face. “So gross”

“How can you hate celery” Ashton was amused.

“Celery is evil.” Cher put the veggies in the green cloth bag. “Any other produce or are we done with this one?”

“Yeah a bag of cranberries, two oranges, a lemon, 2 limes, and 3 green apples. What's with the different color bags?” Ashton was a bit puzzled.

“They're reusable so yay there's that.” Cher gathered up what she needed. “They are color coded so we know what department we need and where it goes in the kitchen. Green for produce, white for dairy, brown for deli meats. See these are insulated so everything stays cold. I can tell you we can skip the meat department because I don't have the yellow or red bag.” Cher checked the bag that held the bags.

“Did Camille come up with this?” Ashton asked clearly amused.

“She came up with the color system because she's paranoid about cross contamination. If you ever get that bitch started on e coli I will walk straight out of the room and leave you to your lecture. Once you get used to it it's really efficient.” Cher shrugged. “Ok baking stuff.”

She headed down the aisle.She grabbed the usual, flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and then a can each of condensed and evaporated milk.

“What's that for?” Ashton peeked in the bag.

“She's making a tres leches cake” Cher told him. “Ok it says oil but she isn't specific so I'm gonna get what's on sale. I never knew there were so many kinds. Coconut oil, peanut oil, sesame oil, almond oil. Wait isn't they what they used for our massage that day?”

“Let me see” Ashton stepped up behind her grabbing her hand with his as he pulled the bottle closer. For just a second he pressed his body into hers. It happened so fast she thought she imagined it except for the shiver that shot down her spine.

“Mmm maybe don't remember” Cher jumped at how close his voice rumbled next to her ear, but when she turned around he'd backed off and was studying the shopping list.

Cher frowned, perplexed but decided to keep moving. Ashton didn't stop. He kept touching her in little ways. His hand pressed just below the small of her back as he reached past her for the green beans. Little traces from his fingertips along her arms and wrists when he took the shopping list from her. “So what was your thanksgiving like as a kid? I know Cam has the big crazy family, but you don't talk about yours.” Ashton asked trying to make sure he didn't get sugar free Jello.

“Mom usually didn't cook. She did one time when we were teenagers and forgot to tell us. We didn't show up and she hasn't let us live it down yet.” Cher told him.

“You only have one brother right? Camille has two?” Ashton couldn't quite remember

Cher nodded. “A couple of times when we were in foster care we'd go down to the City Rec center and they'd have a big meal for all the kids in the programs. The food was actually decent and we always got a little present.”

She dropped a bag of pecans she was looking at. Ashton practically dove to pick them up the back of his hand brushing against her bare calf.

“What was that” Cher jumped at the touch.

“You dropped the nuts. You gotta be more careful with those” Ashton responded off offhandedly with the tiniest smirk.

“Mmm hmmm” Cher hummed her mind wandering.

“Are we getting a turkey?” Ashton motioned to the crowd forming around the employee bringing out boxes of birds.

“Nah, she ordered prime rib and a turkey breast from a butchers shop. I think she sent Calum to get that.”

“How do you like your new roommate” Ashton teased her.

“He's not over at our house that much really. They've almost got a schedule. Sunday night he comes over for football but doesn't stay the night because Camille works her ass off on Mondays. Tuesday is their day together usually at his place. Friday is date night. He bought me some kick ass noise canceling headphones so we're all good.” Cher shrugged.

She stopped abruptly when she saw a display for green bean casserole. Ashton, trailing behind, ran right into her. As he stumbled, catching himself by grabbing her arms, Cher felt the faintest touch of his lips against her shoulder. Or did she? It was maddening.

They finished shopping and loaded up the car. Cher was hoping Ashton might give her a hint at her reward. Instead he just turned the radio on and drummed his fingers on her knee along to the beat.

Getting back to the house Ashton had to admit the bag system helped in putting the groceries away. He also enjoyed that the kitchen was confined enough that he could “bump” into Cher several times while bending or reaching to get in the cabinets. It was killing him not to grin when he heard her little gasps when he touched her or saw the little glances she threw his way. He wanted so badly to pull her to the floor and take her right there in the kitchen.

He had to be patient. He had to keep her wanting. That was the only way to get what he wanted.

They'd just finished with the groceries when Harry knocked on the door. Cher was surprised to see him, normally he didn't get involved in the work side of the parties they threw. He'd volunteered to get the baked goods because he wanted Cornish pastries and sticky toffee pudding. Camille had agreed if he bought them she'd heat them up and make the sauce. She'd also gotten him to pick up a bag of yeast dough so she could make rolls.

It wasn't until Calum showed up with the butchers bags about 15 minutes later that Camille came downstairs. Cher was always amused when Camille came down from filming looking Hollywood from the tits up and couch potato from the waist down. Cher tossed her a bottle of cold water which she caught and chugged while making her way to Calum at the refrigerator. Camille gave Calum a kiss before greeting the other men.

“Harry thank you for getting this dough for me. I'm gonna make the sauce tomorrow just when these are heating up” Camille smiled at Harry.

“I hope you like the Cornish pastries” Harry grinned at her. “They're not easy to get out here.”

“I'm sure I will.” Camille peeked in the bag. “Ooh you got a chocolate cream pie. Cody is gonna love that.”

Ashton handed Camille a glass of wine.

“Thank you sweetie.” Camille turned to where he was standing next to Cher. “Ashton, thank you, seriously you're the only one I can trust with this.” Camille raised her glass before downing it.

“Guys seriously I have like five more videos to do and then I'm done for tonight. There are three games tomorrow and I have to do player forecasts as well as match up reviews. If y'all could peel and soak the potatoes and brine the turkey breast that would be awesome. I'm gonna finish filming. Give me about an hour and I'll be back.” Camille held her glass out for a refill before heading upstairs. Harry said his goodbyes and Calum followed Camille leaving Ashton and Cher in the kitchen alone again.

“You look really cute right now” Ashton smirked at Cher. He kissed her on her forehead “ok let's peel some potatoes.

Camille was touching up her makeup when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.  Calum entered and hovered by the edge of her bed.

“What's up sexy man” Camille met his eyes in the mirror.

Calum hesitated and Camille saw the frown on his face. She stopped and turned around. “What is it? What's wrong?”

“Well it's just, why did you say Ashton was the only one you trusted with this? You know you can trust me right?” Calum peeked up at her.

“Babe,” Camille stopped what she was doing “Did you want me to put you in charge of helping me plan thanksgiving?”

Calum shook his head.

“Ok so you didn't want to do it. I knew you didn't want to do it. You knew I knew you didn't want me to ask you to do it. If I asked you to do it you probably would've asked Ashton you help you right?” Camille raised her eyebrows and Calum nodded.

“Ashton and I have worked together before putting together parties and we're already talking about what we're gonna do for your birthday. So why don't you tell me what is really bothering you.”

Calum sighed and ran his fingers through his curls. He looked at her with those big brown eyes “it still bothers me that you're close to Ashton.”

“Come here” Camille told him and he crossed the room. “Ashton and I are friends. I'm dating his best friend and he's flirting with mine. You need to get past whatever this is.”

“Have you ever thought about fucking Ashton” Calum blurted out before biting his lip as if that could take it back.

“Of course” Camille shrugged “Luke too if I'm honest.”

“Luke? Seriously?” Calum's jaw dropped.

“I saw him run through the house naked and I've listened to him fuck so yeah Luke too. It was a moment. Both of them. I haven't tried anything. I haven't fantasized about them. I'm going to continue to be friends with your friends. That means Ashton.” Camille reached for the drawstring of his sweatpants.

“What are you doing” Calum's voice dropped lower.

“I think my jealous boy needs some attention so he knows he's the only one I want” Camille hesitated before sucking him off. “Just try to be quiet, please and don't touch my hair”

Thanksgiving day Camille had chased everyone out of the kitchen and had her music blasting. Cher and Calum were only allowed in for brief visits. Ashton had the prime rib in his oven. Luke had the turkey and Camille was baking. She'd made the cranberry orange relish the previous evening while punching down and measuring off her dough for the rolls.

Camille had taken a break to do a live interview on the day's games. Finally with work and the food finished and everyone slightly buzzed they could sit down too eat. Camille sat at one end of the long “table” they'd managed to cobble together. Calum sat to her right. Beside him was Mikey, Crystal, Nick and Cody. Harry occupied the other end with Luke, Cher, Ashton, Tom and Lucy sat in order.

Lucy asked if she could say grace and then during the meal she suggested they go around the table and say what each one of them were thankful for.

Lucy stood up the pre dinner wine making her sway just a bit. “I'm thankful to have such good friends and my sweet baboo Tom”

Tom was next “I'm thankful for my career, my friends and my lovely Lulu.”

Then Ashton “I'm thankful we have new music coming out and that you girls showed up to make the place interesting again.”

Cher stood up “I'm not good at stuff like this. Ok let me think. I'm thankful for my Cody I'm so glad I'm out here with you. Vexxed is taking off and I'm friends with all of you which is crazy.  I've only been here since August but I never want to leave. Thank you Camille for dragging me out here.”

Luke was next “I'm thankful for my band, my Petunia and all the wonderful people I've met this year.”

Harry kept it short. “I'm thankful for finding decent Cornish pastries.”

Cody was more animated “I'm so glad you bitches moved out here. Y'all are killing it.”

Nick mumbled out “My career, um my boyfriend

It's been a good year.”

Crystal got choked up when talking about the past year but she managed. “Michael, for being my rock, my sweetheart, my everything.”

Michael followed that with talking about the adorable kittens they were fostering. “My band is fucking awesome, I have the best girlfriend I'm thankful to just be me right now”

Calum stood up leaned over and kissed the top of Camille's head. He looked at everyone and simply said “Her” before sitting back down.

Everyone looked at Camille. She stood up her knees weak. She didn't dare look at Calum. Releasing a shaky breath she found her voice. “When we moved here I never could've imagined all of this. I can't believe this is my life.” She looked at Calum “I can't believe any of this is real. This isn't supposed to happen to girls like me. If this is a dream y'all better let me sleep because I will hurt the person who wakes me up” She was interrupted by the alarm on her phone.

“Oh shit that's the rolls be right back” Camille ran into the kitchen.

After dinner and dessert most everyone hung out to watch football, have a few drinks and digest. Camille was yelling at the tv. Tom, Lucy and Calum were laughing at Camille. Luke had taken off to meet up with Summer who'd spent the day with her family. Harry, Mikey and Crystal were upstairs in the studio with guitars and gars. Cher wandered out back to find Ashton sitting by himself. She passed the blunt to him watching his fingers and lips as he held it and inhaled. His wrist wrapped around hers and he pulled her into his lap.

“What are you doing?” Che giggled with a sense of deja vu. Isn't this how it started with Luke?

“Giving you your reward kitten” Ashton whispered in her ear. His fingers gripped her hips. This definitely was NOT Luke. Luke had been giggly and shy. Ashton was smooth and very sure of himself.

“Straddle my leg doll, I want you to ride me “ It wasn't a request.

Cher hesitated looking back towards the kitchen.

“Do it now, before I change my mind.” Ashton dug his fingers in.

Cher adjusted herself as Ashton reached up under her skirt. His thumb brushed against her clit making her moan. He positioned her so that as he moved her hips back and forth she could feel her nerves brush against the bunched up fabric of her dress as he jiggled his leg. Cher whimpered and leaned her head on his shoulder. She could feel her orgasm start to build as she rocked back and forth.

“That's it kitten, you look so hot right now.  Make yourself cum for me.” Ashton kissed her neck making a moan escape her lips. “If you're not quiet I'll stop.”

Cher bit her lip and closed her eyes losing herself in the feeling.

Ashton pinched her thigh. “Eyes on me doll. I want you to look at me.”

Her brown eyes met his hazel ones filled with lust and amusement.

Ashton gripped her harder increasing the speed of her movements. He could tell she was getting close.

“That's it, let go baby. I wanna see you cum for me.” Ashton growled.

Cher felt herself tipping over the edge. Ashton watched her face as she climaxed trying not to cum himself.

He held her while she rode it out and then as she

came back to earth.

“Damn Ashton” Cher sighed when she could speak again.

“I told you kitten. It's daddy not Ashton, or next time I won't let you finish”

@biba3434 @vfdsstuff @babygirlcashton @toofadedtofight @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @slimthicccal

[naughty-teddy-innit]

Rehabilitation: Chapter 4 An Ed Sheeran Fanfiction

Title:      Rehab: Chapter 4

Author: @naughty-teddy-innit

Rating:  PG- No smuts for a while, but intense content?

Click here for the Previous Chapter

CHAPTER 4

“You’re shitting me.” Her face was nothing short of incredulous as she stared me down over the messy, food strewn surface that was my kitchen counter. “How is that even possible??”

 I popped a slice of freshly washed strawberry into my mouth and tossed the rest of the juicy slices I’d already cut up into the glass salad bowl in front of me, a yummy complement to the spinach greens and pecans I’d already added to it.

 “I don’t know??” I took a sip of my Sauv and then replaced my goblet on the counter.  “I guess I just don’t Social Media and/or Pop Culture much. I grew up with Credence and Springsteen and Janis and the masters.  I just don’t pay much attention to the current pop stuff. Until I managed to bump into his manager, I had no idea who he even was.”

 “Leesie.” She paused herself mid-sentence and fortified her apparent upcoming rant with a long sip from her own wineglass, and then fixed me with a stare.  “He’s probably the most famous musician on the planet right now. He writes the most beautiful lyrics you can imagine, has a voice like melted butter….and did I mention he’s fucking gorgeous?!! And has the most delicious accent you can even fathom. And he’s supposed to be the sweetest guy EVER. How do you NOT tell me he’s lying in your hospital and that HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE??”

 “Lynds.” I swallowed the laugh that threatened to bubble out and fixed a smile on my best friend. Who was currently aiming a dagger-laden death stare right back at me. “I love you. Very much. But you know I can’t talk about patients and medical stuff at work.  If I screw with confidentiality stuff, I could get FIRED. I like my job, remember??”

 “I’m not talking about his medical records! Everyone knows he was in this awful crash and that they have him locked away where the press and all that can’t get to him.  But like…. you’ve had conversations with him! I mean- he’s gonna be okay right?”

 “Happenstance, honestly.  I never went looking for him. And I wouldn’t say it was much of a conversation. Actually…”  I grabbed the wooden salad tossers and the dressing and began to toss the salad. “A few days ago, one of the healthcare aides got caught trying to sneak pictures of him on her iPhone while she was supposed to be passing out meals.  Security had to call the police because she flipped her shit when the nurse manager caught and confronted her.  Hauled her out yelling and screaming.  Thankfully Stuart figured it out before she managed to cause any real damage or freak him out, but it was awful.  THOSE kinds of people are the ones looking for him. I’m just doing my job. I never wanna be like that.”  I inwardly shuddered at the thought. So intrusive. I caught her eye and grinned. “I guess I can say he’s going to be okay. But I SWEAR. I really don’t know much else.”

 I looked up and she was swiping and searching for something on her phone, her lip caught between her teeth.  She suddenly grinned and slid her phone across the counter to me. I could see it was open to a video app, and I could see Ed’s name across the bottom.

 “Watch that.”

 I totally was not going to deny that I was curious.  I shook my head, laughing, and plopped myself down on the stool at the end of the peninsula-style counter.  “And what is it exactly I’m watching?”

“I’m starting you off easy.  This was the biggest song off his last album.  You’ll see.”  She bit the end off of one of the strawberries that hadn’t made it into the bowl and continued. “That pretty boy is ALL about the love songs.”

 I tapped the screen and grabbed the half empty bottle of wine, refilling my glass while the video loaded on the screen.  I flipped her phone around, allowing the images to fill the whole screen, and raised an eyebrow at the figure of the dancer whirling across the screen.  Whoever she was, she had a slammin’ body.

 His voice WAS really pretty, she definitely hadn’t made that up.  It wasn’t booming or theatrical, but softer. More melodic and sweet.  And he certainly pulled off the vest and crisp white shirt with the rolled-up sleeves thing REAL well; I was also more than curious about all the colourful tattoos that adorned his arms. He definitely was not an ugly dude that was for sure. But. I was feeling like I was supposed to be blown away. Why did I feel like my next opinion was going to be a REAL Unpopular One?

 “Well…” I took a deep breath and bit my lip at her eager expression. “I mean, he’s definitely not awful to look at. I’ll give you that.  And his voice is pretty! But it’s…I mean, it’s kinda just a typical pop gushy love song, right?  And the pretty pop star boy dancing with the pretty girl?? Come on…”  I stifled a laugh at the way her mouth dropped open in what was obviously affront and offense. My girl, she was nothing if not dramatic.

 “Annaliese. You are damaged, I swear. Where is your sense of romance??”  She was gesturing wildly with her freshly filled wine glass, the cold white wine an inch from sloshing all over our salad, and it took everything I had to not crack up completely.  I just shook my head.

 “It’s there.”  My voice was soft as I watched the video fade out on the screen. “Guess it just hasn’t come out in while.”

---------------

The next afternoon found me back on familiar ground, ready to get my volunteer on.  The schedule had me on the 4C IP unit, also known as the inpatient/recovery unit, and it was one of the sections of the hospital where I’d spent plenty of volunteer hours.  I was feeling particularly cheerful and rested considering the copious amounts of wine that I’d accidentally (or not so accidentally) consumed the night before, and I swiped my way through the unit’s security doors with a smile on my face.  I spent a good chunk of the afternoon with Callie, a nine-year-old girl recovering from a kidney transplant, knee-deep in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  She’d read the book multiple times and by the time we finished the movie, she’d fully educated me on dragons, wands and Hogwarts.  She was a feisty, tiny little thing, and was as desperate to get home and get on with being a kid as any child I’d spent time with over the years, and I definitely finished up my time with her uplifted, and with a grin on my face.  I promised French fries and a milkshake on my next visit, as long as the doctor signed off on them, and slipped out as her mom was coming back from her lunch.

 I stepped up to the massive desk at the nurses’ station, intending to find out where they needed me next, when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

 “Really doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, mate. I really just want to sleep. Can I just get back to my room now, please?”

The soft accented voice caught my ear right away, I remembered it well. But unlike the last time….it was flat. Devoid of any warmth.  

 It was Ed.

 I had no idea where it came from, or what I was even thinking, but I found myself turning towards him and before I could help myself, my mouth was open and words were coming out.

 “Ed…Hey.” I tipped my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay? Anything I can do?”

 He was carefully positioned in a wheelchair, his casted leg propped up and his injured hand, implanted pins and cast still intact, resting on his leg.  He had a nasal cannula still in place, but much of the swelling and bruising that had taken over his face had gone down.  I could see he was still moving very stiffly, carefully, as he slowly turned his head toward my voice. The orderly who’d parked him at the nurses’ station shot me a quick, polite smile and turned to head off to his next task.

 A brief, rather emotionless smile flickered across his face, and then he tipped his head back, resting it against the back of the chair.

 ‘S’kind of you, Annaliese.” He took a slow breath. “Tired of being poked and prodded and this test and that scan. Really jus’ want to get back to my room.”

 “Well, I can certainly get you that far.” I raised an eyebrow at the nurse behind the desk. She nodded at me, and gestured to the door at the end of the hall. “I’ll send Malik to help actually get him situated in a minute, he’s just finishing up with inventory in the med lockup.  Thank you, Leesie.”  She raised an eyebrow at Ed, and then looked back at me before looking back at the sheaf of paperwork in front of her. “Perhaps you can work your magic and get this stubborn young man to eat.”

 I just raised an eyebrow and nodded, deciding that for now my inside voice would probably be a better choice.  Why in the world wasn’t he eating?

 “Alright…Let’s get you back to your room.”  I tried another gentle smile as I released the brake on his chair, but he just nodded, staring off down the hall.  We found his room, and I got his chair situated by the bed while we waited for the nurse to come help him into it.  I debated with myself for all of 3 seconds before lightly dropping myself into the chair beside him.

 I took a deep breath and found myself cocking my head in an attempt to catch his eye. “Alright.  So. What’s this business about you not eating?”

 The only response I got was a huffed breath and tight-lipped expression. But I wasn’t giving up.  Apparently, I was no longer nervous about overstepping? I tucked a stray lock of hair back behind my ear where it belonged, and leaned forward, intent on getting him to talk to me.

 “I’m a lot of things, definitely not a doctor, but… Even I know food is kinda important when you’re trying to heal. Gotta fuel your body, right?”

 “Why.” His voice was low and his eyes were closed. “Does everyone in this bloody place seem to be obsessed with feeding me? I’m not fuckin’ hungry.”

“Well….” I was bit taken aback, to be honest. Admittedly, my impression of him was limited to the night he’d woken up and remembered me from the ICU, but he’d seemed like a genuinely kind, nice guy. I could only imagine he must be struggling with all of this, so I figured the snippiness was only fair, and let it slide. I was trying to think of the right thing to say when he beat me to the punch.

 “Nah. I’d like very much if everyone, EVERYONE, could please remove themselves from jumping up my arse, and just leave me alone. Stuart, my dad, Mum, Matt, everyone. Just….”  He was silently shaking his head, and his uninjured hand was clenched in a fist.  “It’s NOT going to be fine, and stuffing my bloody face isn’t….it doesn’t…Jesus.” His voice broke off and I took the opportunity to change tactics.

 “Okay then.” He looked up at me, the straightforward tone in my voice probably taking him by surprise. I pushed on. “Fuck the food. Let’s just…leave that. The rest of it though? Ed… I’d imagine these people, who clearly care about you and love you so much, just want you get strong so you can get better and get the hell out of here. Right? You must want to get back to your life and never see this place again?”

 The saddest smile I think I’ve ever seen ghosted across his face, and he looked down. “Mikey doesn’t get to go back, does he?”

 Oh god…his driver. I’d left his room when I’d last seen him, before that conversation took place.  I couldn’t imagine how that must have broken his heart. My heart ached at sadness in his eyes.

 “Oh Ed…” It came out as a whisper. He looked up at me, the pain in his eyes raw.  They were such a beautiful blue, but… there was no light in them. Like windows with the blinds pulled tightly shut.  “I am so, so sorry. I can’t even ima-“

 “No, no you can’t. No one can.”  He cut me off, his accented voice once again flat. “They can’t imagine because it wasn’t their fuckin’ fault. It was mine.  He can’t go back to his wife and his children and his grandchildren, because I’m a selfish prick. He’s dead because’a me. All there is, and I don’t really care about goin’ back anywhere but my bed. Please.”

 My heart shattered right then and there. How could he possibly think such an awful accident could be his fault? Nobody, NOBODY should have that on their conscience. I didn't stop to think; I lifted myself up from my chair and knelt by his, and laid a hand on his good one. I squeezed gently and waited for him to look up at me before I spoke, and then speak I did.

 “I was there, Ed. The night this all happened? I was working in the ER when everyone was brought in. I saw the paramedics bring in the truck driver. The guy that fell ASLEEP at the wheel, the one that hit you. I could hear him crying, wailing actually, that he didn't mean to. That he was exhausted and never meant to hurt anyone, that it was an accident. But regardless of all of that, he hit you. HE did this. Not you. You could not have known something like this would happen.” I took a breath and bit my lip, in an attempt to gather my thoughts, and pressed on. “Mikey shouldn't have died, Ed, but nothing you did made that happen. I promise you that.”

 I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes, and I so badly wanted to make it better. But I didn't know how.

 “... She's right, you know.”

 The soft, gentle voice that came from behind my right shoulder startled the hell out of me and I quite nearly fell backwards. I pulled myself together and awkwardly stood to see who was agreeing with me, and Imogen, Ed's tiny, lovely mother was standing just inside the door, nothing but love on her face as she looked her boy in the eyes. I opened my mouth, the beginnings of an apology for… What I wasn't sure, on the tip of my tongue. She shook her head and gently patted my shoulder before I could get anything out, and then lightly settled herself into my now empty chair. How long had she been standing there? How long had she been listening?

 “Do you know…? “  She paused and I suddenly realized, as she glanced in my direction, that she was addressing me. “When they came to talk to us, the police, about the accident, when they told us what happened. Do you know what my boy said when they told us about the man that fell asleep?”

I shook my head, watching as she smoothed an errant curl from his forehead and lightly brushed her fingertips along his stitched up hairline.

“He wasn't even angry. He can't have meant to, he said. Isn't it enough he has to live with what he did? What about his children?” She shook her head and Ed spoke up before she could say another word.

 “They said he has 4 children at home. He'd been driving those massive lorries for years, to put them through school. Who can bloody blame him for being tired?” His voice was quiet, not really directed at either of us. “He never meant to smash us up. He's gotta live with the guilt. And so do I.”

 “Ebs.” Ebs? Her voice was soft, but determined, and his eyes met hers in a heartbeat. The expression on his face…this boy loved his mama, that much was clear.  “What Annaliese said is exactly right. You mustn’t take this on your shoulders. There's no guilt for you to live with. Michael… He’s driven you for YEARS. He knew the job, he knew you were a night owl; you always have been. He loved you like you were one of his own, and looked out for you the same way. He wouldn't have blamed you for this. Not for one moment.”

 Ed was already shaking his head. “Nah. I made him drive, overnight, in the freezing rain. Gig wasn't even for three more days, and he'd been sick with a cold for a week. We weren't supposed to leave that night. I wanted to get there early so I could write with the lads. We were on the road because of me. Simple. My fault. I'm here, he's not. All there is.” His voice was sharp, dripping with…disgust? Anger? At himself, I didn’t know, but it was killing me. And I was not having it.

 “And if you'd left the next morning, maybe a motorcycle would have cut you off or a tire might have blown.” It was my turn to shake my head. “Ed, I'm calling it. That's crap.”

 Imogen raised an eyebrow in my direction, a slight smile dimpling her cheek, and nodded.

 A different voice cut through the room before anyone could say a word, and I turned to see Malik, a big hulking quarterback of a man, and one of the best nurses on the unit, popping his head in the door.

 “My man! I hear we need to get you back in your bed. You down?”

 “Please.” He truly sounded exhausted and I knew it was time to let him rest.

 “Leesie - they bringin’ up the supper trays if you wanna give em’ a hand?” He shot me a grin and moved to the side of the bed to get it adjusted for Ed's casts and oxygen and monitors.”Gonna get this boy up in his bed and check his oxygen and pressure and all that nonsense.”

 “Think I can handle that.” I shot a raised eyebrow at Ed. “Don't even tell me gourmet Hospital Spaghetti doesn't sound delicious right now.”

 He just shook his head and sighed. “Not In-N-Out, is it.”

 Imogen unfolded herself from the chair, a tired smile on her face. “Do you work here, too, Annaliese?”

 “Oh, no!” I quickly explained my volunteer hours versus working in the ER and ICU, and I let out a quiet laugh and smile, explaining that I hope they didn’t think I was intruding or...well. Stalking her son, for lack of better way of putting it.

 “No, no, not at all. It…. “   She paused a moment, walking with me to the door while Malik assisted Ed back into his bed, and lowered her voice a notch. “It’s very reassuring and a good feeling to know my son is surrounded by people who care about him in this place. You've been very kind; John and Stuart have both said the same thing. And you're honest with him. You pull no punches. I like that.”

 I could feel my cheeks pink up at her words, and she patted my arm as I smiled and huffed a small breath.

“Well thank you, Mrs. Sheeran. That means a lot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pass out some exquisitely prepared gourmet hospital food.” I rolled my eyes and she shook her head, and we both shared a laugh. “Hopefully Ed will actually eat some tonight.”

 I turned to leave, but stopped short when Ed's soft accent caught me.

 “Leesie? They call you that, right?” He was back in bed, his leg positioned back in traction, and his oxygen and monitors set around him, pillows piled up behind him.

 I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. And there was that pink in my cheeks again....

 “Yeah. Yeah they do.” I crossed my arms, and smiled to myself.  “My mom used to hate it. She always said she picked Annaliese because it was different and pretty, and then everyone started calling me Leesie for short. To this day, she's about the only one, who knows me anyway, that calls me by my full name. Well. Unless I'm in trouble, I guess.”  I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my hair, silently chastising myself for being such a chatterbox.

 “... I think Annaliese is lovely.”

 His voice was soft, and was studiously looking down at his injured hand, still bandaged, implanted pins still in place.

 “Oh, well… Thank you. You're sweet. I don't mind it much myself.” I smiled at him, thinking that this was the sweet boy I’d met the other night. I caught a glimpse of my watch and straightened up. 

“Oh crap. I should go, dinner is starting.  Be excited, Ed -  Spaghetti is coming.” I may have rolled my eyes, hoping for a smile. 

 “...Will you be…. Here… again this week?”

 I stopped short again at his quiet voice. If he wanted me to be…

 I tipped my head to the side. “Wednesday for a few hours, I think…?” I said softly.

“Just wonderin’...”  He lay his head back against the pillows, grimacing as something somewhere caught him. I hated seeing him in pain. 

“Could always use a visitor…. If you're around, that is.”

 I shook my head and flashed him a small smile. “Eat your spaghetti, bud.” I turned to leave. “And we’ll see.”

LINK TO MASTERLIST

A/N: I am so SO sorry this took so long, but it feels so good to be back in the swing of things. I beg you please, all comments/feedback/suggestions/Reblogs/ANYTHING is welcome and appreciated! Drop me an Anon ask, a comment, anything, and it makes all the difference! Thank you and SO Much more to come!! Xoxoxoxoxoxo

[gingercullenboy]

Movie Commentary Monday: Episode 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first episode of Movie Commentary Monday (or as i call MCM, which sounds ridiculous by the way) where I express my thoughts on a movie while desperately trying to be funny (and usually fail).

There will be dozens of side comments in brackets because I talk too much, sorry in advance.

This week’s movie is:

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Directed by: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writing Credits: Erin Cardillo (screenplay&story), Dana Fox (screenplay) & Katie Silberman (screenplay)

Stars: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine, Priyanka Chopra, Betty Gilpin, Brandon Scott Jones

Summary: A young woman disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy.

(thanks IMDb)

Now, buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a loooooong ride. Let’s get down to business!

(this isn’t a Mulan reference)

Why is the Mom so bitter about happy endings? I bet she has seen things...

They don’t make movies for girls like us. 

THIS!!! LINE!!! IS!!! SO!!! IMPORTANT!!! 

That single sentence just basically summarized the entire history of Hollywood and you can’t argue with me on this. The evidence is there (sorry i’m bitter like mom) (i’m full of rage like younger john mulaney)

Natalie’s (Rebel Wilson) apartment is a mess and is so tiny, it’s like screaming YOUR FUTURE HOUSE at me, it’s unbelievable

Fucking finally, a realistic view of New York; smelly, crowded, and filth everywhere (not that i could ever know, i don’t live there but i’ve seen metropolitans before)

“STOP THE CART WITH YOUR BODY” WTFFF I’M CRYING THAT’S SO RUDE

Ok, Natalie’s a nobody at the workplace, even though she’s a fricking architect. UNREALISTIC TO ME

That co-worker and office manager can choke, that’s all I’m gonna say

Ohmygod, Whitney (Betty Gilpin) is so cute, I’ve seen her 10 secs in and I already love her (lovey dovey characters are always my faves)

JOSH (Adam Devine) IS AMAZING, ADORABLE DORK, PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

LIAM HEMSWORTH’S AMERICAN ACCENT GOT ME SH00K!!! He just said “Goddamn it” and I am already hooked

Who puts whipped cream in a coffee? ME, BITCH

I PUT WHIPPED CREAM IN MY COFFEE BECAUSE BLACK COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT, SORRY THAT I’M NOT TOUGH AS YOU

Natalie says nice guy with a nice life and it... kinda bothers me. It’s a reaaaally generic expression and a bit insulting if you think about it bc if you don’t fit that person’s standards of being nice with having a nice life, it discourages you (in this case, you=man). So when Josh said “I’m a nice guy with a nice life” I thought ‘Of course you are’ bc he is in my standards. What I’m trying to say is that rom-coms have stereotypes on not only women but also men. Yes, it is sad.

Awwww Josh has a crush on Natalie *wipes happy tears* but she thinks he’s looking at the model billboard LMAO SAME, NAT

I’m so done (but it’s also so relatable, bc i’m like Nat but with less cynicism)

WHITNEY’S DESKTOP OMG

PAWSITIVE VIBES???? I WANNA MARRY HER SO WE CAN WATCH ROM-COMS WITH CATS ON OUR LAPS ALL DAY TOGETHER

Natalie was on the subway and a stranger waved at her. Then he tried to mug her. Then she knocked herself over. My mom always says don’t talk to strangers and I see why. I’m 22, if you’re wondering *clears throat* Moving on...

OH MY GOD SHE WOKE UP WITH THE MAKE-UP ON AND A NICELY DONE HAIR WITH FLOWERS AND STRAWBERRY DRINK ON THE SIDE, I CAN’T-

Oh, hello Mr. Morningstar... *wiggles eyebrows* (quick note, i don’t actually watch Lucifer but i really like Tom Ellis)

She just ripped her IV and blood didn’t spill everywhere, yeah this is a rom-com alright 

She’s dressed from lost and found and she looks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman-

NO WAIT, THE ENTIRE SETTING HAS CHANGED

HOLY SHIT ‘A THOUSAND MILES’ BY VANESSA CARLTON IS STARTED TO BE PLAYED BY A RANDOM GUY ON A BIKE AND HE PLAYS IT FROM THE STEREO ON HIS BIKE I’M CACKLING

ENTER LIAM, HE LOOKS SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE (i’m a thirsty hoe, your suspicions are correct)

What the fuck does beguiling mean? *checks dictionary* oh, okay *is weirded out now*

HE’S AUSSIE NOW, THEY’VE DONE IT, HE’S KEEPING THE ACCENT, AND I’M HAPPY AGAIN

...Birds form a heart while flying... Uhhh... Strawberries and champagne in the limo... Rich as fuck, my poor ass can’t relate

NATALIE’S STREET HAS CHANGED, TOO

He’s giving her flowers already? Ok- NO WAIT

HE JUST WROTE HIS NUMBER ON MULTIPLE FLOWER PETALS AND HANDED TO HER, IS HE FOR REAL LMAO

“But there’s only one of you, so...” Well, this doesn’t change the fact that there are millions of ways to order the numbers, you dumbass (why is he like this)

Her apartment... Every Millenials’ dream

And... A gay neighbor/best friend who acts like an over-feminine gay (which is also a stereotype)

So, I’ll count every rom-com trope I’ve seen in 22 mins *counts her fingers* So far, I have seven tropes

The Big Presentation (eight)

Unconventional workplace which looks like a Google office (nine)

Nat is the star architect now (ten)

Rival bitchy colleague (eleven) (WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITNEY, THOUGH) (SHE’S MY SENSITIVE WIFE) (oh, she looks hot)

They gave like, four other tropes in two mins and it doesn’t feel like rushed at all *salutes respectively*

The setting change is so... Like, you cannot miss it, it’s sweet and makes you feel all giddy inside, it’s so lovely, so rom-com like (does that make sense to you?)

OH PRIYANKA, SHE JUST TURNED AND I’M LIKE “Oh I’m fucked”

“Josssssssh”

Natalie keeps falling (twelve)

“MY LIFE IS A ... ... ROMANTIC COMEDY!” “AND IT’S ... PG-13!″ EVERYONE STARTED DANCING BEHIND HER I’M HOLLERING 

The subway map behind her is shaped in a heart, lovey dovey couples everywhere... And shE’S GONNA JUMP ONTO A TRAIN??? THIS GOT DARK ALL OF A SUDDEN

Officer Hansom *facepalms*

She threw the flower petals and guess what? THE NUMBERS FELL DOWN IN THE CORRECT ORDER, WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN HAHAHA (thirteen)

Y’ello

Y’ELLO

Y’E LL O

IS THIS HOW AUSSIES ANSWER THE PHONE, AUSSIE MUTUALS PLEASE RESPOND

BLAKE (Liam Hemsworth) IS SO ADORABLE I’M ROOTING FOR EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE 

Dress up montage... Yeah- Oh wait, they cut it out what the hell fvygbuhnj I WANT MY DRESS UP MONTAGE, GIVE IT TO MEEE

This is some fancy first date though... Also leaving 100 bucks tip doesn’t justify breaking in to a store I guess??? Seems like the law has no function in rom-coms lmao (fourteen)

BUTTER PECAN??? HOW OLD ARE YOU, 200 OR SOMETHING??? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN

The rain... You know what’s coming after- Ah, and they kissed *giggles uncontrollably* YES!!! (fifteen)

THEY CAN’T HAVE SEX BC IT’S PG-13 (liam’s abs, though) *bi scream*

Her apartment makes me cry, it’s so beautiful (ok i’ll stop counting from now on bc i cannot keep up anymore)

Also the romantic tension between Natalie and Josh................ I have no words

Isabella (Priyanka Chopra) calls Josh ‘Mush’ and it’s so f-king cringey, I swear to God sxrdctfvygu

STOP OVERSELLING NEW YORK, WE KNOW IT’S NOT THAT GOOD

I can talk about Blake for five hours, he’s so fucking funny lmao

Donny (Brandon Scott Jones) is such a gay sidekick, he comes out of nowhere and talks weirdly but he makes me laugh so I’ll give him a pass

NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE, NATALIE’S GONNA STOP ISABELLA&JOSH’S WEDDING

That musical scene is everything, and Natalie hits that high note H AR D

GET IT, GIRL

Blake............ no-

I ROOTED FOR YOU, WE ALL ROOTED FOR YOU, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT-

Oh my, he’s a certified douchebag, I should’ve guessed, I’m so disappointed in myself 

Unexpected wisdom coming from Donny who had no function to the story other than appearing beside Natalie at random times (again, rom-com trope) 

BUT at least he made her realised who matters to her the most

Slow motion running!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Her boobs are like sxrdctfvyg SHAKING AS SHE’S RUNNING ESXRDCTFVYB (as someone who has big breasts, i relate to that so hard) 

“Yoga Ambassador. Yoga. Ambassador.” “Ambassadors are for countries, not for streching.” Dang, Nat!!!

She finally realised she loves herself! Awww, that’s so sweet and empowering and I can’t get enough of this!!!! Yes, to love someone else first you should love yourself!

Oh she crashed the car and went back to reality

Another hot doctor???? Wait, I’m confused- No, false alarm, she’s back and her real doctor is tired, is also swimming through lawsuits LMFAO

She pulled her IV and blood SPILLED EVERYWHERE AS IT SHOULD BE, THANK GOD

I’m glad that she’s happy with what she’s got and she didn’t decide to keep what she’s been doing but instead, tried to take care of herself, it’s such a good message to young girls and I cannot praise this enough

PLOT TWIST, DONNY IS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY AND HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS ALSO A WEED DEALER OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THE TWIST SO MUCH 

Natalie!!! Is!!! Confident!!! Now!!! I’m literally living for this *throws hearts to the screen*

OH MY WIFE IS BACK, HI WHITNEY I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SUMMER WIFE I MISSED YOU

Nat stormed into that meeting and she’s. on. fireeee

Real Blake is as jerk as ever, no surprise

Using parking lots as metaphors would never cross my mind but ok I guess???

Fuck, he said “What does beguiling mean?” I’M LOST FOR WORDS, THIS MOVIE SXDCTFVYGU

JOSH HAS BEEN LOOKING AT NATALIE FOR THE WHOLE TIME, NOT THE SWIMSUIT MODEL, WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT???

ps. me and probably everyone else except Nat lol

EVERYONE SINGS

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, EVERYONE SINGS AND IT’S SO GOOD

LIAM PLAYS THE SAX HOLY SHIT HE’S SO HOT I’M GONNA FAINT

Priyanka with that rose.......... Consider me dead, thank you

“It’s hot as fuck” tcfyvgubh probably true

Overall, I would give this movie 7/10 because of the message. Plot is nicely done and I got see basically every single rom-com tropes. At total, I counted 23 tropes I guess? If I could look every minor detail, I would count more but I won’t get into it that much for now. (i’m running late to a meeting with friends so i have to cut short)

I loved the production design, setting felt like I’m in a classic rom-com movie and characters were written accordingly. Every actor in the movie has fit perfect to me. I especially loved Priyanka and Liam because 1) I’ve never seen any of her movies and 2) It’s been a long time since I watched a Liam Hemsworth movie (i only watched hunger games, so you think about it lmao)

I guess that’s about it! I have a list for the next weeks’ movies but if you have a request then tell me so, I will watch your recommendations first! I appreciate comments; if you have something to add, please do. I will read every single one of them.

See you next week!

[nightcoremoon]

I don’t understand the “there’s only 2 genders” argument

like I get saying “I THINK there’s only 2” and like admitting you’re a fuckin idiot brainwashed by european colonialism and white supremacy, and asking wtf people mean by saying there’s multiple. I get where the base of ignorance comes from. but also like. googles fuckin free

ten times a day I wonder various questions and google them. like, oh wow I didn’t know hall & oates did what I want HOO HOO, HOO HOO until I googled “who sang the song that goes like that”. doesn’t mean that I can say NO FUCK YOU TOTO SANG THAT SONG EAT SHIT AND SUCK MY DICK. because I would be wrong and dumb and also an asshole to people who love H&O and also people who know music history truth.

or you can… ask someone?

I mean an ounce of research will tell you dozens of cultures around the world have at least 3-5 gender identities. an ounce of research will tell you about the prevalence of intersex individuals shattering the sex binary. an ounce of research will tell you all the fucked up ways that everything you think you know about chromosomes is completely wrong. problem is people are academically lazy nowadays. maybe if school was a fuckin algorithm we could actually educate people but no. idiots are comforted by their low effort sponging.

anyway regardless of all that, if someone says “I don’t feel like I’m a boy or a girl” and there’s thousands nay millions of people who also say that, that’s inalienable truth right fuckin there that uuuuhhhh maybe there are people who aren’t actually boys or girls. maybe there are people who are both. maybe there are people who are one sometimes and the other other times. the fact that nonbinary people fuckin exist at all is pretty definitive proof that maybe they actually exist. Hm?

like imagine if tomorrow you saw a dog stand up on its hind legs, put on a pair of glasses, and start talking to you in perfect [insert the language you speak here]. you’d think huh that’s weird, then go on your merry way continuing to say “you know dogs don’t actually talk”. but then you go in town and there’s dozens of walking talking dogs. you continue to say nah that’s stupid dogs don’t talk. you walk up to a talking dog and say fuck you stop talking because dogs don’t talk but the dog is still fucking talking. are you an idiot?

of course I don’t mean to compare nonbinary people to dogs. it’s an allegory. how about ice cream? you think vanilla and chocolate is the only flavor. you walk around town and hear people talking about strawberry. FUCK YOU THERE ARE ONLY TWO FLAVORS, THAT FLAVOR DOESNT EXIST, SHUT UP. then somebody hands you a box of neopolitan and you smack it out of their hands and say NO FUCK YOU THERES ONLY TWO FLAVORS YOU FUCKING SJW. then suddenly spumoni and butter pecan and black cherry and cookie dough and all sorts of flavors start opening up to you. Damn bro I actually like this allegory way better. genders are like ice cream flavors. there’s a potential infinity.

and nonbinary genders exist. they exist because they exist. even if they’re “made up”. luke skywalker was made up but that doesn’t mean he isn’t real. it doesn’t mean he hasn’t entered the cultural consciousness. even if voidgender or spacegender or foxgender or whatever didn’t exist at some point in time, the fact that it was created by somebody to describe themselves inherently gives it life. nonbinary people are the alchemists of the cultural consciousness as far as gender is concerned. and if you can’t wrap your tiny head around that, you’re gonna get left behind by civilized society.

TL;DR you’re a fucking moron if you still ascribe to the gender binary

and now I want some ice cream

[taraljc]

my thing about Batgirl

(Reposting from mah Facebook, because reasons. Also, for clarity, I'm a 44 year old nerd girl who started reading comics when she was 11 or so.)

OK, so, possibly after drinking a statistically significant amount of coffee that I likely shouldn't ought to have done right before catching up on social media, I have now consolidated and cleaned up what was an open letter to Warner Bros but came across more as a bitter and angry rant about something I care a lot about, but the rest of you may not really understand or even care about. So here's what's been on my mind for quite a while now.

I've never been as incandescently happy as I was in this exact moment I learnt a certain womanising hack who has coasted on an outdated reputation for way too long is never going to get the chance to destroy one of my all time favourite female characters in the entire history of comics. I feel as if need to commemorate this with pie of some kind.

(sweet potato pecan pie with bourbon whipped cream is the frontrunner at this time, assuming I can find $$$ to go grocery shopping for the ingredients except the bourbon because you know me. I always have bourbon.)

In case you haven't guessed this is gonna be about Barbara Gordon.

It amazes me how no-one has ever thought to adapt the EPIC storyarc by Ostrander & Yale about how a former vigilante became one of if not THE most power and influential non-superpowered women in the entire DCU after literally being thrown away like trash.

(Google the quote "Cripple the bitch." Trust me, it will make you understand where I'm coming from with a lot of this.)

Oh yeah, and not only did she do so using all the skills she already had before she put on a cape and kicked some ass as one of a dozen minor figures in the Gotham vigilante scene, but she created and ran one of the best covert teams in history.

(If you do not know who the Birds of Prey are, that's OK. An origin film would solve that problem for you.)

OH OH OH and not only was she running the Birds, but she was simultaneously acting as the Field Co-ordinator that turned her original vigilante found family into a much more efficient, effective, and powerful crime-fighting force not just in Gotham but the entire DCU.

All while transitioning to life with a disability. Did I mentioned she'd been shot through the spine solely to torture her uncle/father in one of the most mysoginist comics stories of the past 50 years? Sorry. I probably buried the lede a bit, there.

What really matters is, we're talking about a woman who used her research and cyber security skills honed by her day job as a research librarian and went up against Amanda Waller and came out on top.

If someone who claims to love comics as much as that guy who did that male power fantasy TV show about hot chicks back in the 90s can't figure out why Barbara Gordon as Oracle would have relevance or appeal, well...

What can I say. Maybe it's time to actually hire a writer who can deliver a solid script that doesn't reduce 50 years of history (the balance of which was spent not as Batgirl, but as Oracle) to a casualty of the feud between Bats and the Joker?

So you know, if anybody's looking for a list of creatives that as both a comics fan and a film fanatic whom I believe would be more than up to the challenge, I am ready to write a six part series on @TheMarySue any time. Y'all know where to find me.

I think what a lot of people don't realise that when you take a character like Barbara Gordon who trained hard in isolation, with no teachers or mentors, because she chose to join the fight because she knew she could make a difference, only to be under-used, under-valued, written off as collateral damage, and ultimately expected to fade away into the woodwork...

...there is an incredibly compelling story just sitting there waiting to be explored about how someone with that drive, those skills, that passion for justice who flat out refuses to let the world write her off. She takes the world by the balls and shows them there's still work to be done, and that you don't need to wear a cape and a mask to do it.

And THAT to me, ever since I was 15 years old, reading Ostrander & Yale's Suicide Squad while my other friends were off going to malls or Depeche Mode concerts or whatevs, was what made me a hardcore fan of Barbara Gordon. Not Batgirl. ORACLE. And THAT story of Barbara Gordon becoming Oracle is the story that I want to see told in theatres, to the masses, so they can see what I first saw in a former sidekick who turned into a massive powerhouse in the DCU not by force, but by using her intelect.

I've never got why people don't understand how HUGE it was to see a character who'd been literally thrown away like garbage, be reinvented as a character so much more important and integral to the future of comics, not to mention A++ representation of a hero with a disability.

If no-one can turn that incredibly compelling story into a 120 page screenplay, then it's time to stop looking to the same 4 white guys (like for reals I am not kidding) to write comics adaptations for the big screen, and cast a wider net.

What I'm saying is, I think after the last 2 decades we've seen all there really is to see in terms of range from The Usual Suspects (David S. Goyer, Christopher Nolan, Zak Penn, and the aforementioned womanising hack Joss Whedon) that have stayed at the top of studios speed-dial for far too long..

Time to spin that rolodex and give The Wachowski Sisters, Zack Stentz & Ash Miller, Allan Heinberg, Jennifer Lee, or Ava DuVernay a crack at nailing just the right tone and story for a big-budget feature Batgirl.

Look, I know It's easy to play armchair producer when it's not my $$$. But as a fan, Warner Bros. ain't getting a single CENT of my money if they don't take the lessons they learnt from critical & commercial success of Wonder Woman and apply same 1st class treatment to Barbara Gordon/Batgirl.

[malunedyne]

Espero que ya hayas resuelto lo del antojo de ayer porque te toca responder el ask list dulce 🎂🍰🍫🍭🍯🍮🍩🍧🍦🍡🍨

tarde pero seguro, fam

chocolate: when was your first kiss? when i was 17

french vanilla: how old are you? 23 at the current moment

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to? JAPAN!!!! England, might as well say India

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak? japanese, it would be amazing for a weeb like be

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands? uhh *sweats loudly*

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors? it depends on what we’re talking about ???????

cookie dough: do you play any instruments? the drums, though i’d like to learn to play both piano and violin (and have a never ending interest for bass)

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment? Persona 5 OST, I listen to it everyday ever since January, certainly obsessed with this one

(maaaaaan, i love Lyn’s voice so much wtf)

butter pecan: favorite songs for life? Guardians of the Galaxy vol 1 n 2 OSTs. Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth)

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign? the wild-card Aquarius

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool? beach, there’s not even comparison lol (except for mexican beaches….. i hate them, people are just noisy and dirty, disgusting)

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post? can’t believe i have to scroll through my sherlockian past's mess to find it, here it is http://malunedyne.tumblr.com/post/88104749810

bubblegum: books or movies? i enjoy both very much but c’mon, i can’t choose. they give you different experiences

pistachio: manga or anime? aaaaaa fuck. dude. oh gods. it depends. about BL, i go after manga because of the lewd stuff, i must admit that. but most of times, i always go for the anime first and then the manga if i really went nuts with the animation.

salted caramel: favorite movies? ghibli movies, bro; 2001: a space odyssey; megamind

birthday cake: favorite books? THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY SAGA, The Hound of the Baskervilles, Shakespeare’s sonnets and Twelfth Night

moose tracks: favorites for manga? Doukyuusei’s saga (I haven’t read Blanc yet but dfkjsdkjsd), Mob Psycho 100 (webcomic, but it’ll count it as manga)

orange sherbet: favorites for anime? Mob Psycho 100, Nichijou, Hetalia, Cardcaptor Sakura

peanut butter: favorite academic subject? gender, social issues, art, jungian archetypes

black raspberry: do you have any pets? currently, a blond cat

mango: when and why did you start your blog? ohh shit, somewhere in March, 2012 (thought i had already stalked periodically a couple of blogs bc i was too depressed)

mocha: ideal weather conditions? warm but not hot, also cloudy while warm (warm rain is my favorite thing in the world)

black cherry: four words that describe you? random, tired, eccentric, imaginative

neapolitan: things that stress you out? procrastination, people’s stupidity and indifference, impotency, life in general,

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music? i like a wide range from classic rock to ethnic indian music so idk, but i hardly ever listen to music in spanish tho

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy? ferrero rocher chocolate are unbeatable about things found in the common market

toffee: a card game that you’re good at? cards against humanity, hehehe

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast? barely, but yeah (i must improve this aspect though)

dark chocolate: turn ons? long hairs, knowledge, kindness, interest in art or video games

fudge: turn offs? being a huge piece of shit

peach: how do you relax? i lay down and listen to music or random noise generators

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet? pretty much all of Latin-American’ greatest books

superman: do you like sweaters? hell YEAH

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee? i like the taste of both

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play? what a name for the ask tho

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried? oh i have, now i feel sad because that was in my college days that are now long gone…..

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have? fucking actually notifying me when a blog reblogs or posts something!!!

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs? setheverman and usbdongle are p funny; a bunch of writing advice blogs and color palettes are amongst my favourites

almond: favorite mean girls quote? why the fuck is everyone always talking about this movie??? I’ve survived 23 years of my life without watching it and plan on continuing doing so unless it’s actually inevitable lmao

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now? no color. gonna paint them silver and dark blue soon

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to? yep. 0/10 would never recommend.

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone? always a crush, never something actually serious though

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps? now and then (only when i’m too tired or having headaches or so) though i try to avoid them

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done? telling a friend some real deep psyche weaknesses of mine !oof

brownie batter: do you like sushi? YUUUUSSS -but i like ramen better hehehe-

key lime: where do you want to be right now? in my bed, -not worrying about having to go to work tomorrow !oof-

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses? nope, but i wear anti-reflective glasses

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

cookie, baileys (man, that shit is so good!!! ), chocolate, vanilla

I DID IT, FAM!!!!