#gojo is unhinged

[rahuratna]

Geriatric Kaisen (Part 1)

Megumi arrives back at Jujutsu Tech after a day out to find ... some alarming changes to its inhabitants.

CW: Foul language

Genre: Humour, crack, fluff, suspense.

(A quick scribble in between updates. Please don't hurt me for this, dear readers.)

It started with a strange shift on the breeze. Barely perceptible, to Megumi's reckoning, but the honing of his senses told him that something may not be right. That, and the soft growling that came from the shikigami flanking him, their hackles bristling in coordinated aggression.

Sticking out a warning hand, he advanced along the winding avenue that led to the main entrance of Jujutsu Tech, alert and watchful. This certainly hadn't been the first time an attack had been launched on the school. Even with all of its protective enchantments, Jujutsu Tech was a known stronghold for the sorcerers, and was therefore a prime target for their more powerful enemies.

The cans of soda he'd purchased from the convenience store clinked softly against each other in the shopping bag he held, the rustling of the limited edition crisps a distraction. He set the bag down and proceeded, footsteps light and body tense, fingertips twitching. Wincing slightly, he remembered what else the bag contained.

A cupcake.

Probably squashed beyond recognition now. The icing was pink and white, stodgy, wrapped tightly in plastic, handed over by the wrinkled hands of the old woman he had helped count change at the till. Even Megumi could admit that the elderly had a known weakness for him, a tendency to pat his spiky hair and murmur about what a 'good boy' he was. If only they knew the half of it.

The imposing sliding doors of the tech had now come into view. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Megumi considered for a moment before deciding that reconnaissance was priority. He brought his hands together in an imitation of his shikigami's great wings, taking a breath before opening his mouth to speak Nue's name into the soft breeze, when the sliding doors opened.

Immediately, the hounds at his side went alert, but Megumi frowned. They were not reacting in the way he'd expected. Noses raised to the air, they were sniffing cautiously, but without enmity. Eyes narrowing, Megumi took in the man standing in the doorway.

Was this someone he knew?

The figure was coming forward slowly now, the russet afternoon burnishing their flowing silver hair.

Silver?

Yes, that's what it seemed like.

The person was obviously older, maybe the same age as the woman he'd seen at the pay point earlier. In spite of this, they still moved with an ease that spoke of strength and grace, the surefootedness of someone who could hold their own, even at this age. There was not much else he could make out at this distance, save for the dark glasses and walking stick they were twirling effortlessly in their hand. 

He approached, pace matching the elderly man's. Stopping a few feet away, Megumi frowned as his shikigami began to whine and wag their tails slightly.

How was this possible? He didn't know this man. Unless this was ... some kind of trap, possibly? But how could they have fooled the uncanny senses of the dogs? Taking a bracing breath, Megumi decided that the best way to clear things up was adopting a direct approach.

"Excuse me, sir. Are you lost?"

The white-maned head turned slowly in his direction. The man's voice was firm and clear, with only the slightest tremor of age. 

"Me? Lost? Are you for real right now?"

Well now. There was definitely something familiar about that tone. And using language like that ...

Brows pinching together, Megumi kept his hands at the ready.

"What do you ... You realise that this is a school, right? Did you take a wrong turn and get lost somewhere? I can direct you, if you like."

To his consternation, the old man started laughing so hard that the walking stick shuddered perilously in his grasp.

"Wait, you don't recognize me like this?"

"Should I?"

"Megumi, it's me."

"What?"

"You're super special, strongest in the world, hottest in the universe, perfect skin, perfect hair sensei."

Megumi was silent for minute, taking some time to process what was being said to him. Something clicked sooner rather than later, because now his eyes were widening and he took a step back.

"Wait .... Gojo? Is that you?"

"Course it's me. God, you're so dumb for a smart kid - "

"But what happened to you? Are the others okay? What's going on here?"

"Relax. It's some kind of field technique. Not a domain. Covered the whole campus and made us like this, but didn't do much else. That's why I came out here. To maybe draw them out, see what they're after."

To say that Megumi was horrified was an understatement.

"You came outside like this? Are you crazy? They'll - wait. Let's go back in, please. This place is exposed."

His eyes darted to the treeline, taking stock of their surroundings.

"Gojo, did you even stop to consider that this is exactly what they want? You, in a weakened state - "

"Weakened? Weakened?"

Gojo was laughing again, in that truly insufferable way he had, now with the added irritation of his hand slapping hard at his knee like a drunk salaryman egging on his co-workers at karaoke.

"Boy, if you think I'm weakened in any way, you've got another think coming."

Clicking his tongue in aggravation, Megumi grabbed elderly Gojo's arm and attempted to drag him back to the building. It was like dragging the heaviest sack of potatoes known to man. Gojo barely moved an inch.

"See? You still think I'm weak?"

"Did you turn off your infinity just to prove that to me?"

"Sure did. Now, let's see."

Gojo pulled off the dark glasses and suddenly Megumi was confronted with the irrefutable evidence that this was, indeed, his sensei. Those crystal hued eyes would have been exceptionally hard to replicate, by anyone's standards. Bordered by deeply etched crow's feet, stark in their brightness against the spotted skin and wispy hair, it was evident that they had lost none of their slightly unhinged daredevilry.

"I spy ... with my little ... damn, things are looking kinda hazy out here. Anyway, what's that? There, in the grass?"

Confused, Megumi glanced back the way he had come and spotted the shopping bag lying where he had left it.

"Oh. I went to the seven eleven for some stuff."

"Bring it over here."

"Are you serious right now? Can you please get inside?"

"I'll go inside if you get the bag," Gojo sang, voice quivering with cheerful infirmity.

"Oh, for the love of - Fine! Just ... just go to the door and wait there."

"Okay, sonny boy."

"Don't call me that!"

Stomping over to the shopping bag, Megumi snatched it up, pausing as the cold nose of his shikigami pressed comfortingly into his hand. The other hound had actually remained at Gojo's side, walking slowly beside the aged sorcerer as he made his way back to the sliding doors. Sighing, Megumi rubbed at the bridge of his nose before following.

"So, you said this field technique, whatever it is, made us like this? Are the others also affected?"

"Oh yeah. I had them all gather in the staff lounge. We've got our weapons and protections too, so don't look at me like that."

"So you don't think what you did was spectacularly stupid?"

"Not as stupid as you for not getting any sweets. Are these savoury snacks all you eat?"

"I eat them once a week! Unlike you."

"Wait, what's this?"

Gojo's questing fingers had encountered the soft give of the cupcake. He drew it out and gave a croaky chuckle.

"How kind! You did think of me!"

"I didn't. Someone gave that to me."

"It's pink! Does that mean it's strawberry?"

"It's just food colouring."

"But I wanted strawberry."

"Just eat the cupcake, please."

They had reached the staff lounge by now and Gojo raised his hand, a soft pulse echoing from his fingertips through the door. Probably a means to identify himself to whatever protective technique had been placed on the door. Entering, Megumi stopped dead in his tracks.

Now this was a sight.

Standing at the coffee machine, hands on hips, was a woman with narrowed, hawk-like amber eyes and bobbed salt and pepper hair, her frame and intimidating bearing very familiar in spite of the added height and wiry muscle she now possessed.

"What do you mean I shouldn't have another? Coffee is all I've got going for me, at this point."

"Kugisaki, just calm down. We don't know what kind of side effects this technique has. Your heart may not be able to handle that much caffeine!"

These words came from beneath the grizzled mustache of a man who could only be Yuuji. The phrase 'cool uncle' had never fitted anyone else so well. Even aged to somewhere in the region of his sixties, Yuuji was still hale and hearty, his much taller stature and rippling muscles making the uniform he wore look some kind of miniature cosplay. His pink hair was slightly faded, but tied back in a short ponytail that somehow suited him very well.

"Just step away from the coffee machine - "

"Like hell I will!"

"Oh my God. Maki-senpai, please talk some sense into her?"

"Don't called me senpai. That's weird right now."

Megumi's gaze moved reluctantly over to the woman in question. Seated cross legged on the floor, sharpening one of her weapons with the manner of one who did such things to calm down, Maki was definitely the epitome of aged warrior. Her green hair was now shot with grey, cropped short, jacket and shirt pulled open, her exceptionally powerful shoulders and arms exposed in the vest she wore underneath.

Megumi was secretly relieved that some of them were still clearly in great fighting shape, because he had no idea who had created the aging technique or why.

"Wait."

Gojo leaned forward on his walking stick, scanning the room with a squint.

"Where did Nanami and Ijichi go?"

Maki shrugged.

"Went to gather some supplies. Nanami said something about food and Ijichi went with him. We've been holed up in here all morning, so this lot is getting cranky."

Yuuji huffed, and the petulant expression looked exceptionally incongruous on his rugged, bearded face.

"I'm not the one who's cranky. Look at Kugisaki over here."

"I need to feel calm!"

"And you think five cups of coffee are gonna help you? Be for real!"

"Coffee calms me!"

"You're weird as hell, then!"

It was at this moment that Yuuji and Nobara spied Megumi who let out a silent, internal scream when they both swiveled to face him, eyes narrowing accusingly.

"Fushiguro?"

"What the fuck?"

"Wait, why didn't the technique affect you?"

"I was out all morning, running errands. I just got back from the convenience store."

Nobara threw her hands up.

"How is this fair? The guy who acts like an old man twenty-four seven is fine, but we're the ones with janky knees and back pain that never goes away."

Megumi frowned.

"I do not act like an old man."

At that moment, the protective technique across the door, probably effected by Ijichi, resonated once more and the two men who shuffled in made Megumi stare even longer.

Nanami's hair was now pure white, but his posture was still dignified and straight, the natural lines that defined his clear cut features more pronounced than ever. His imposing figure was a little spare, the distinctive suit now hanging slightly about the chest and shoulders. Age had only added to his dignity.

Ijichi was fiddling with his glasses, liver-spotted fingers pushing them further up his nose as he squinted through them at Megumi. The assistant manager was already shedding hair at an alarming rate, a distinct bald patch appearing at the top of his head, shoulders sunk in a permanent hunch, fingers bent arthritically.

"Who - ohhh, Fushiguro. Nice to see that the curse didn't get you."

Gojo growled and spun on his heel.

"Where did you two idiots go? I told you to stay put."

Nanami raised a thin, pale eyebrow.

"We went to get food. We needed it."

"You could have sent Yuuji or Nobara - "

"And you could have waited in here instead of going out to antagonize whoever did this. Looks like your ego got worse with age."

"And that stick up your ass got worse with age too."

Nanami scoffed and removed his signature shades. The eyes behind them were as sharp and calculating as always, in spite of the lines that graced their corners.

"On the contrary. Being in this state has opened my eyes to many things."

Yuuji glanced over curiously, his mouth already stuffed with the onigiri Ijichi had placed on the table.

"Whaddaya mean, Nanamin?"

"Meaning that the frailty of the human condition has impressed itself upon me."

He was met with a blank stare from the pink-bearded man, but Ijichi piped up from behind him.

"Oh, I get you, Nanami. I understand."

Nobara folded her arms.

"Well, let's hear it then."

"If this is what it feels like being old ... then why waste the time we have left worrying about pointless things?"

Yuuji waved his hands in concern.

"Whoa, whoa, stop right there. This is a cursed technique, meaning it can be reversed, right? Right?"

Gojo was examining his fingernails.

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Are you being serious right now? I can't be an old man! I'm not ready."

Gojo nodded in commiseration.

"Oh, I know, I know. I wasn't ready to lose my youthful hot body either."

"That's not - "

Ijichi interrupted with a quavery shout that shocked them all into silence.

"Fuck paperwork!"

Megumi stared.

"Err ... what?"

"Fuck it. Fuck all of it. And fuck you too, Gojo!"

"Eh?"

"See how I'm losing my hair? This is your doing! You're the one who stresses me out every day! But no more! I don't have to take this shit. Look at the state of my knees! I don't care anymore. Nobody's going to boss me around!"

Gojo pointed a slightly unsteady finger at the manager.

"Oh, excuse me for being the strongest sorcerer who keeps evil at bay and saves your butt on the regular."

"Well, you didn't save us from this, did you? You're a sad old grandpa, just like me! See how the worm turns?"

"Why, you little shit stirrer, I'll - "

"Enough."

Megumi breathed a sigh of relief as Nanami once again proved himself to be the only sane adult in the room, even under these circumstances. 

"Gojo, please. This event has obviously shaken Ijichi. You should be more understanding. Here, you need food too. Take these onigiri. They have red bean filling."

Mumbling slightly, Gojo set aside the cupcake he held, taking the parcel and beginning to undo the paper wrapping. He picked out one of the onigiri and froze, his head slowly lifting to stare at Nanami. Megumi frowned and looked over his shoulder.

The onigiri Gojo held was shaped, very recognizably, as a penis.

Nanami stared back at the white haired sorcerer impassively, prompting Gojo to speak.

"Nanami. What the heck is this?"

"An onigiri."

"I can see that, you old fart! I mean, why is it shaped like this?"

"Oh, that? It's so that you can ... how do I put this? Eat a dick."

The rest of the room's occupants looked on in no small surprise as Ijichi snorted, covering his mouth, shoulders heaving. Nanami's mouth twitched, before a deep, hearty chuckle emerged from his chest. Before long, the two elderly men had doubled over, Gojo's angry expression apparently too much for them to handle.

"I ... haven't laughed like this since ..."

"Oh, oh, please. My bladder ... isn't what it used to be."

This set them off on a fresh round of laughter, which struck Gojo out of his stupor. He rapped the table sharply with his walking stick.

"Oi! Are you two assholes forgetting who's keeping everyone safe right now?"

"With what? The power of your Infinite Diaper?"

Megumi got between Gojo and the others before the purple glow he'd seen forming around the old sorcerer's hand could take out half the room.

"Let's just ... calm down. We need to find a way out of this technique. Any ideas?"

Nobara was looking at him in a way he didn't like at all. She came forward, a small, dangerous smile playing around her lips.

"And who made you boss, baby boy? I'm your elder now, and you do what I say."

It was Megumi's turn to lose his temper.

"Like hell I will!"

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this. Now tell us your idea while you give me a back rub."

Maki grunted from her place on the floor.

"And when you're done with her, come crack my neck for me. Feels kinda stiff."

Gojo immediately forgot his feud with the two cackling sorcerers opposite him.

"Hey, Megumiiiii, I'm your sensei. You gotta listen to me first. Be a good boy and break this cupcake up for me. Then take out all the choc chips. I wanna eat them separately, cos they'll get stuck in my gums."

Feeling his blood pressure suddenly skyrocket, Megumi swore violently in his head at the crackpot curse user who had thought this would be a good use of their time and useless technique. If any of these old coots died, it would probably be by his own two hands.

[cixteenyne]

#NEED THAT.

Your brother had originally planed a hang out with his friends in the living room, but- something came up and he had to bail. with them still in the house. Issue? They're hot.

RELATIONSHIP(S): Gojo x Reader, Suguru x Reader, Elements of Suguru x Satoru. They def be fuckin. Satosugu x reader, yeah.

CW: Suggestive, but NSFW cussing (duh), Big Brothers best friend(s) trope. no actual fucking happens... yet. Still NSFW

Yap: I channeled my own personality into this MY BADDD-

Damn….DAMN. you were going fucking insane in your room right now. Batshit.

Your dipshit brother brought his fine ass friends over and ain’t say SHIT.

Now you out here lookin’ crazy, shorts riding up, hair all types o’ fucked from that good ass nap you just took, and hungry as shit.

Problem. 

They’re in the living room, and you refuse to walk in that bitch until EVERYBODY is gone. Point blank period.

Second problem. Satoru and Suguru don’t plan on leaving, and Satoru knows you’re here. Shit.

Ugh, just look at the cocky motherfucker. Manspreading to the MAX on your new couch, the one you helped your godforsaken mother who stood there for hours deciding on what shade of the same damn color to buy- bless her heart. And he’s manspreading, dick to the world- on it.

And damn if he didn’t look so fine doin’ it. 

Oh, Satoru pisses you off BAD.

And god forbid somebody get you started on Suguru, fucking dick head. And he KNOW IT TOO.

Long ass leg kicked over the other, stupid head leaning on his hand. Elbow on that damn couch. 

He looked uncaring constantly to the things going on around him if it didn’t concern Satoru- but you knew. Oh, you knew just how much he ate up whenever Satoru managed to get under your skin- which was way too easy to do.

Asshole would just sit back and smile like you’re not about to put your whole foot up his bestfriends ass. Suguru didn’t need to say a damn thing to piss you off the way Satoru did, he just does!

So, both of them together? In your home? Brother done ran out for a quick minute, god knows how long a ‘minute’ is to him, fucker would disappear for 3 hours and say he was just 10 seconds.

Hell no.

But fuck, that post-nap hunger was hitting, and it was peeling away at your resolve. BUT! Your resolve is not stronger than your need to eat, so that’s tough.

Fuck your resolve, if a bitch is hungry, she will eat- so you took your happy ass to your kitchen. Or- you tried to.

Not even a step into the living room before those eerie ass blue eyes snapped into your direction and a stupid lazy grin made its way onto his stupid face. Fuck.

“Ohoho-! And look who decided to wake up- suguru, look. Told you she’d show..”

The fucker said it like he knew from the beginning that you’d crack and show your face. Damn it why is that definitely what he’s thinking.

Suguru looked up from his phone slowly, and as he laid his low eyes onto you his eyebrows raised in exaggerated shock. “And here I thought you’d finally snapped and started hallucinating, she’s really here.”

Though, his tone said that he’d also always known you were there, not only Satoru.

Fuck, they BOTH came here knowing you were home. That’s… genuinely so annoying of them.

“What, I can't live in my own house?”

Satoru seemed to think on your rhetorical question and he made a whole show of it.

“Not if I have anything to say about it, which I do.”

This idiot ALWAYS has something to say, always running his mouth- yap yap yap! Like a damn broken record. Fuck, why was he dressed like that?

“Unsurprising. Well- i was hungry, so.. I'm gonna go.”

You made a step towards the kitchen, so close in your grasp.. So fucking close. But Suguru had to remind you that he was here too. Damn it.

“I like your outfit. Just hopped outta bed?”

Said outfit being shorts that had your ass hanging out, a stupid band shirt with the collar cut off, and calf socks with Garfield plastered on them. Maybe he liked your socks. he better because the bitches were 15 dollars at Spencers.

But- you didn’t even get to answer before Thing 2 was talking.

“C’mon- sit down.. Right here. Said you’re hungry, yeah? We ordered out. Sit and have some.”

Pizza, 3 whole boxes of it- who the hell needed 3 whole boxes of pizza. One of each for Dumb, Dumber and dumbest? Speaking of Dumbest, your brother been out for MIGHTY long, the fucker probably got caught up in a party, and most likely won’t be back until 4AM when you’re woken up by shit hitting the ground because he cant walk straight.

“It’s just pizza, sweetness- s’not gonna bite you.”

Fuckin’ Satoru, ugh.

 “That’s not- bitc- ugh. Nevermind, move over.”

So, now you’re stuck in between both Satoru and Suguru on the Couch that in another timeline, is a different shade of the same damn color (You really need to get over that.), pizza box in your lap despite criticizing them for need a whole one, and you’re kind of not mad at this.. Shit.

You’ve already eaten 2 slices, and debating eating 2 more- hey, gotta keep the ass fat somehow.

But you decide against it for your poor stomach later, and put the box back on the table. As you lean forward to set the box down, Satoru finally speaks after about 12 minutes. (longest he’s ever gone, you bet.)

“Y’know you’re right suguru- really nice outfit. Like it.. It’s.. nice to look at.”

Suguru hummed in agreement to this, 

“Right? I told you- I have an eye for these things ‘Toru.” The smirk in his voice is unmistakable.

They were not talking about your ass as if you were not there. No way.

“An eye for sure, almost can’t look away, yeah?”

“Can’t, no.”

They so were. For fucks sake.

“Oh, you’re both ridiculous. Is my ass tonight's talking point? Really?”

Satoru held his hands in the air in mock self defense 

“You’re the one with your ass out in a room of two guys who aren’t blind.”

You huff out an exasperated breath at him and look to suguru for a bit of support, you don’t know why because he has a history of letting his little yapping dog do whatever the hell he wanted. All you receive from him is a shrug and words of agreement.

“He’s right, we have eyes, y’know.”

Ugh, he’s never any fucking help. And he loves it.

“Whatever. Not like you guys would do anything. More ass than you know what to do with.”

You mumbled it just to be messy, you didn't wanna outright call them virgins cause… c'mon. They fuck. HAVE to be.

The air in the room definitely changed after that slick comment.

Satoru went quiet and his eyes slid over to Suguru, a silent conversation. A verdict. They seemed to have both reached the same one, because Suguru shook his head with a laugh and leaned back into the couch.

“Yeah?”

You sat down cautiously, the energy was weird now, like an inside joke you weren’t privy to… hm.

“..yeah, why? I’m not gonna take it back, either.”

To them, that sounded like a ‘Make me take it back.’, and they took it as such with way too much glee.

“Hear that, Guru? Little thing thinks were baseless virgins who can’t handle a bit of ass, funny, hm?”

“Hilarious, say.. Toru- now that i think about it.. We just might be a bit out of practice.”

Suguru always knew how to get a party started. That’s what Satoru liked about him- among other things..

“Crazy- i was thinking the same thing..! Why not warm up?”

Ok. what the hell were they talking about, and why were they being slick about it. Lord, they pissed you off BAD.

“What.. the hell are you guys talking about?” Came your slightly nervous reply.

“Well would you look at that- a volunteer.”

Volun- who the hell- VOLUNTEER? 

Oh. OH. 

You may not make it out alive if this was what you fantasized about every night. Yeah0 the pissed you off constantly- but you weren’t blind. They were fine. Way too fucking pretty for their own good, and you got to be around them 24/7. Safe to say- they were a NEED, not a want.

Satoru looked down at you and dropped his little act, moving impossible closer to you, his chest to your side as you sat on the couch. He got low and into your ear whispering so close you could confuse it for a voice inside your head.

“Or can she not handle it..?”

Oh. You need that.

[suguru-getos]

The first time Satoru sees you naked he has the same expression as a 4yo going to an amusement park. Mouth agape and watering, jaw slacked almost unhinged as he blushes. You were feeling a bit insecure given his-- well, past. He’s definitely fucked models and almost everyone he wanted. A reaction like that definitely threw you off- for good. ;)

“Fuck- I’ll kill anyone who has seen you like this. Ex boyfriend names right now Princess.” He gets unhinged with his compliments too.  You found that out soon enough.

“Shut up, you’re so dramatic” You scoff, rolling your eyes and trying to pretend your flustered cheeks are his delusion. “I’m serious. Gonna keep you to myself. Not let anyone see you-” Satoru realizes he’s almost getting too carried away. "Sorry- you know you’re dating a possessive motherfu-”

“Yes, I do.”

[ih8simps]

Your boyfriend doesn’t like me JJK SMAU (Pre-Relationship)

Pt 1 feat Gojo, Yuuta, & Toji

[yutamayo]

you can't tell me he wasn't thinking maybe if I remind Geto's body of what I look like on my knees he'll come back

[unhingedramblings]

jumpscare — multiple character concept

minors do not interact. adult content.

concept: sometimes dangerous things, with proper precautions, can be an exciting way to spice up your bedroom activity— until your recent experiments end with your lover acting very fucking strange. now what? is it bad that the threat of death makes it harder to stop?

character(s): satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, hisoka morrow, illumi zoldyck

content warning(s): dead dove, afab reader, fear play/gun play, violence, sexual content, swearing, degradation/praise, gagging/choking, spit, pain/discomfort

satoru gojo—

"toru," your sweet voice called. the snowy-haired loverboy had told you to sit there and look pretty while he prepared a surprise, but that was nearly ten minutes ago. just as you were about to retrieve him from whatever fruitless task he had become fixated on, satoru's footsteps lurked closer.

"close your eyes, darling." satoru demanded lovingly, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his ironed slacks. you obeyed, despite the confusion and anticipation. the sensation of cold metal resting against your forehead made you gasp, hairs standing on end with a shiver.

you wouldn't dare open your eyes— there was a silent and mutual undertanding that you needed to do what you were told.

"look at me," satoru replied. his voice was barely above a whisper, and yet you were almost eager to see his expression upon your compliance.

gojo flashed you a glistening smile, slowly dragging the barrel of his pistol down your temple. the coolness of the steel continued to travel, stopping just beside your lips.

"kiss it for me, pretty girl." satoru's lashes fluttered temptingly, bright sapphire gaze flooding your senses.

who were you to disappoint THE satoru gojo? not in a million years.

toji fushiguro—

you were so busy pacing rapidly that you didn't notice toji at first, which is exactly what he had hoped for.

"what might all of this be, sweetheart?" toji's low voice cooed mockingly, a malicious undertone coating his words. in most cases, men speaking to you this way would terrify you— or at least drive you away, in best cases.

toji, however? you had no clue. maybe it was the way he carried himself... or the fact that he was one of the only men to make you cum from penetration alone. either way, a mystery indeed.

so when, in your anxious and detached state, toji allowed himself into your apartment... was it silly to say that you welcomed his intrusion?

seeing you lost in thought, toji rolled his eyes with a huff. he casually pulled a handgun from his waistband, your eyes widening in fear and... something else. he gestured nonchalantly, the tip of the barrel bobbing downwards lazily.

"sit down and shut the fuck up," toji growled. he was clearly annoyed by your scatterbrained state, having other ideas in mind. "you talk too much. it would be better if you just... listened."

toji's air of confidence momentarily faltered as you dropped to your knees, his gaze following your movements like he was filing a critique.

"that's a good pet," toji praised as he gingerly placed the barrel of the gun into your open mouth, "and so well trained."

hisoka morrow—

unlike any rational human being, hisoka would introduce a deadly element into your sex life spontaneously— most likely in the middle of outrageously good oral because... how could you refuse?

hisoka had taken up occupancy between your thighs, tongue greedily lapping at your fluids like it was nectar from the fucking fountain of youth; he wanted you pliant, agreeable, and about to burst.

your fingers were laced into hisoka's hair, eyes rolled so far back that you were starting to get a migraine— and he stopped. why the fuck did he stop?

you huffed in frustration, whining softly as you groggily lifted your head to meet hisoka's gaze. golden irises flickered between your flushed face and your dripping cunt, a devious chuckle escaping his pussy-drunken grin.

"would you let me hurt you? like... really hurt you?" hisoka's tone was somehow both lighthearted and ominous— but it made you clench your walls around his steadily-beckoning fingers— and of course, he noticed.

"yes— anything, just— let me—" you paused to catch your breath, hisoka's consistent stimulation sending waves of pleasure jolting directly to your brain. it was so much harder to think about what he was implying— and he noticed that, too.

safe to say that walking was no longer an option when the morning came.

illumi zoldyck—

the frigid steel barrel scraped teasingly down your exposed back, welcoming a feeling of the slightest pressure when it stilled at the base of your head. illumi hadn't said a word in what felt like ages, studying your body like a pinned specimen.

warm fingertips fluttered at your wrists, illumi's free hand holding your hands hostage— he wanted you as still as possible, even with your tremors. his slender form circled you like he had captured a sacred prey, his only sounds being the occasional satisfied hum.

illumi locked eyes with you as he slowed, kneeling by your lap with a cruel smile. his gaze was dark and cold, devoid of human emotion. a brief giggle caught you off-guard, snapping your head up in confusion and fear.

"i want it to fill your throat," illumi declared. his tone was flat as he hooked two pale fingers onto your lower teeth. your mouth was forcibly tugged open, a gasp of surprise escaping during such an act of violation.

without warning, illumi pushed the tantalizing barrel onto your tongue. he wet it with your pooling saliva, fucking it in and out with a feverish glare. you gagged quietly, trying to maintain eye contact.

illumi abruptly pulled the gun from your throat, shoving it back in with a daring chuckle. your esophagus constricted, sloppy gushing sounds filling the space that would normally be accented by you talking back.

"aw, so quiet today!" illumi teased as his index finger brushed the bulge of the barrel in your throat, admiring his sick fantasies as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"what might be the problem? gun's got your tongue?"

for: @thotthumb

[kenm4vhs]

my favorite type of gojo

[pussysidon]

I love Nanami because he's definitely familiar with Japanese social customs (i.e respecting your superiors and what not) and he just chooses not to

[blue-cat-ter-flies-blog]

Addams family AU

Is this a thing?

Anyway! Contrary to expectations, the one whose actually a born Addams is Satoru and Sukuna is the one who married in. This surprises everyone who meets them because Sukuna is the one who fits in with the general Addams family vibe and not Satoru who loves Cinnamoroll, sweets, and sometimes dresses up like a Country Lolita or as a Pastel Goth for funsies.

Jokes one them; Satoru may have married Ryoumen 'Ha ha, those are just jokes about cannibalism, right? Right?' Sukuna but he did date Geto 'Is he just charismatic or is he a cult leader?' Suguru once upon a time. Well, before Geto 'moved overseas' which some people silently wondered if Satoru meant 'murdered and buried in the wonderfully cursed family grave'.

And with that kinda dating history (short as it was), Satoru is certainly an Addams. He chose them after all.

[ddarker-dreams]

thinking about gojo turning his infinity off in the yan AU of golden girl, placing gg MC's hand over his heart, and telling her that if she 'wants to get rid of him so bad,' now's her chance ......................................

[jacenbren]

Deeply fucking unsettling things about the Honored One himself, Satoru Gojo

Thanks to his ability to fuck with gravity, you put him in a blank, empty room with identical walls, floor, and ceiling with no doors or windows, he'll quickly lose track of which way is up. Realistically this situation would probably never happen, but the concept freaks him out ever since Geto made a joke about it once.

Gojo's body maintains a perfect thermodynamic equilibrium, making his skin creepily cool to the touch. He can go out in a blizzard with shorts on, and between that and Infinity, he'd be perfectly fine. It makes for a cool party trick, because he can stick his hand in a candle flame or put cigarettes out on his arms with no ill effects.

He's unsettlingly clean at all times, because dirt can't touch him. Gojo hasn't needed to use stain remover on his uniform in years.

He quite literally has six eyes. He keeps four of them shut and all of them hidden most of the time, though, because a) looking into all six at once would liquefy the brain of your average human, and b) his Six Eyes are constantly feeding unfathomable amounts of information into his brain every second. Even with his tolerance to his powers and mastery of the reverse curse technique, there's only so much stimuli a human brain can process without completely shutting down, and Gojo doesn't want to find out what that'll do to him--in a nutshell, just because he can see things that mankind can't even hope to comprehend doesn't mean he wants to.

He can perceive the entire electromagnetic spectrum, meaning he can see shrimp colors. Everyone else desperately wants him to describe the shrimp colors. Gojo continues to smugly refuse.

Because of his reverse curse technique constantly refreshing and regenerating his body, he just. doesn't really need to eat anymore. or drink. or even breathe. His body is basically frozen at peak physical condition, and it's very likely that he is functionally immortal.

Sometimes, Gojo forgets what pain feels like, because nothing can touch him. Pain feels almost like pleasure to him, because nothing can hurt him. Nothing can even touch him, and Gojo has secretly developed a perverted interest in seeing how badly he can mutilate himself before he's forced to reengage his technique and heal.

Gojo can bend and contort himself in ways that aren't humanly possible, run faster and farther and lift heavier objects than anyone alive, because his body can repair itself almost as fast as it's damaged, depending on how severe the injury. Basically, he has permanent hysterical strength, letting him push his body past its limits to perform feats that would kill a normal human with no ill effects.

Gojo doesn't sleep. He literally can't unless he releases his technique, because his body is constantly being refreshed and doesn't need to shut down. Oh well, it's for the better. He's most vulnerable while he's sleeping anyway, and it opens up his schedule by a lot.

His teeth grow now, almost like a rodent's. He has to file them down to be able to open and close his mouth properly, along with much more frequent trimming of his hair and nails.

His skin is oddly smooth, and unnaturally pristine. Gojo hasn't recieved a single scar since Toji sliced him open, and all the ones he'd recieved before are healed flawlessly at this point. His hands are so soft they make it look like he hasn't fought a day in his life, because calluses aren't able to form anymore.

Gojo's been around the world countless times now. He can go wherever he wants with a thought; the only cost is his sanity. Warping himself across the Pacific for lunch in San Francisco is fun, but he can only do it a few times a week if he doesn't want to have another... ah, episode.

These episodes involve blackouts, gaps in his memory where his powers manage to slip their leashes from overuse and literally short-circuit his brain. He's only had a few so far, and every time, he wakes up in the infirmary completely unscathed, with blood all over his clothes and an awful fucking migraine. Nobody knows what happens or where he goes, and all Shoko's been able to tell him is that when it happens, he seems to go into a giddy fugue before blasting his way out of the compound and vanishing for anywhere from days to weeks. Gojo's absolutely terrified of these episodes, because he's wholly aware that if he lost it for real, nobody would be able to stop him.

He looks human enough, but if you look closer, he quickly starts to set off the uncanny valley effect. It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing--because you know how dangerous he is, even though he appears relatively harmless at first. Everyone who meets him has the same fear response clawing at the back of their mind as their hindbrain screams at them to fucking run, because Gojo is an apex predator in the body of a prey animal. His very presence awakens primal fear that's been entrenched in every human since the dawn of time--the fear of things that go bump in the night, of cosmic horrors beyond what mankind can even hope to comprehend.

His eyes glow all the time now, and the energy crackling in the air around him feels like the static that comes before a lightning strike. Satoru Gojo is insistent that he's still human even though he's the strongest, but... is he, really?

[ih8simps]

Slightly unhinged/ yandere Gojo (x reader)

“Nanami”

“No”

“Na-Na-Mi” you cooed.

“Again, no” he sighed exasperatedly.

It had been exactly 20 minutes since you began following the sorcerer from Jujutsu tech and you were already giving the senior teacher a head ache.

“Oh come on. What would be so bad about having lunch with me?” You contorted your face into the visage of a pout. Since childhood, this had been the face that broke Nanami’s resolve every time. His eyes danced across your face for a moment, and it almost seemed like he was going to crack.

“No”

“But-“

“Just listen. I can’t. I don’t want to have to argue with him again. He’s just as annoying as you are”

Your face fell. He was always the wedge between you and anything you wanted.

“He doesn’t have a say in who I get to hang out with. Nanami you used to be my-“ the onset of your tantrum was stopped by a warm hand engulfing your arm. His grip on you was sudden yet firm.

“Who doesn’t have a say?” His voice was smooth like velvet and the soft hum of his voice sent a chill down your spine.

“And Nanami was what to you, again?” The grip on your arm tightened with every syllable that fell from his lips. You couldn’t form a tangible thought in his presence. His sudden intrusion left you feeling suddenly very unsafe. When did he get here? How did you not sense his presence?

The intel you received a few days ago said that Satoru Gojo would be far from jujutsu tech. He was supposed to be so far away that he shouldn’t even be able to sense you. How was he here? Did he ever really leave? Why did the informant lie?

Hearing Nanami’s deep sigh pulled you from your thoughts.

“I’m leaving. See you around, (y/n)”. The moment he turned on his heel to leave, your heart began to sputter. Panic began to rise in your bosom. You couldn’t be left alone with Gojo, not even in public.

“Na-nanami. Wait. Please”. The slight pitch to your voice must have coaxed him. He let out another exasperated sigh. It seemed that he was thinking deeply about something. He slowly turned back around to see you pulled closely to Gojo.

“You know. It would be nice to have a meal with you both.” he made sure to loudly enunciate the last word. Both.

If anyone knew of the possessive and obsessive nature of Gojo, it was Nanami. Since childhood he had noticed the way Satoru interacted with you. His gaze was always fixed on you a little too long and his hand always found some way to keep a hold onto you. It was no secret that Gojo had been unparalleled in his all consuming obsession with you.

Nanami was there the day young Satoru Gojo proclaimed to all of the students, although there were so few, that anyone who was dumb enough to get too close to you would have to get through him first. That day was the last real day of your individual freedom.

As the strongest son born into the family, it was clear that Satoru was going to be the next head of his clan. He never truly flaunted his status or threw around his influence. The day he proclaimed you as his, he was simply voicing what he considered to be obvious.

It didn’t seem that his message had the impact he intended because 2 weeks after his announcement, he saw you gallivanting around Tokyo with a new beau. Satoru didn’t even register what the boy looked like before he ripped you away from him. He said nothing as he dragged you away from him. The iron grip he had on your arm felt like he was truly trying to crush you.

Some part of you believed that was the day Satoru truly had lost his mind when it came to you. A week after that you realized that your family had been acting strange. Your father had more meetings than ever before and your mother seemed to be lost in deep thought at all hours of the day. The unspoken issue in your home came to a fever pitch when your parents finally broke the news. The Gojo clan had requested something from your family that only they could supply.

“Satoru wants you” your mother whispered, tightly grasping your hand. “H-he has threatened taking rash action if we decline” she continued, not even allowing you a moment to question her words.

“I’ve been meeting with the clan every day and it seems that he wants nothing else. There is no way to keep you from doing this, (y/n)” your father’s voice came out low and shaky. You realized you’d never seen him look so defeated. “I offered them many things, but they cannot decline a request from the next head of the family. He’s offered not only to take care of you, but the rest of our family as well. The only thing he wants in return is you. He’s quite adamant” he mumbled shaking his head in what looked like disbelief.

Time seemed to freeze as you took in his words. You’d been practically sold off to Satoru. You knew he had a powerful position, but you didn’t know he could just get his way like this. Every part of your body shivered in anger and disgust. He was like a plague or a natural disaster. He swept through a place and destroyed everything in its path.

Life was never the same after that. All of your things were moved to the Gojo compound and you began your life as Satoru’s ‘special guest’.

11 years later and you were still under his constant watch. There were days and moments when you felt like you were truly alone but those moments were short lived. The longest you had gone without being under those all seeing eyes was three months. Those were three of the most comfortable months of your life, but today because you were summoned by the higher ups, that comfort was surely over.

“(Y/n) can’t go to any meals with you today actually” if you didn’t know him, you’d think his tone was calm but that was quite the contrary. Satoru was seething. You’d been missing from his sight for three full months. He’d want everything from you now, including an explanation.

You carefully turned your gaze to his. “But Gojo I-“

A look of pure rage swept past his opalescent eyes and you knew instantly that you’d made a mistake. You were never supposed to call him that. It took him years to break you out of that habit and in only three months you were back to square one.

“We’ll have to take a rain check” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, “we have things to discuss”.

[hollowghostsonfilm]

stsg headcanons where nothign goes wrong, they graduate, and live together...

🌸They would get an apartment together in Tokyo under the guise that it's cheaper to rent together and has good proximity for missions, but it's really just an excuse to stay glued at the hip

🌸Gojo buys ridiculously expensive furniture online at 2am, as well as some shit that makes Geto think he must have been high when he pressed buy. Geto refuses to sit on the pink strawberry bean bag. Ever.

🌸 Geto insists on a tidy genkan, while Gojo basically clutters up the place and leaves his things everywhere like some sort of cryptid leaving clues of where he's been.

🌸 Gojo's idea of cooking is going to the 7/11. Suguru learns to cook so they don't both get scurvy.

🌸The fridge is full of a thousand post-it notes with things like 'do not touch this - it's for science!' and 'Satoru, this is my last pudding, if you touch it I will kill you'.

🌸 They end up confessing very dramatically on a mission and Gojo retells the story graphically over and over and over again and it makes the others sort of wish they'd both died so they don't need to know again about what Get's tongue felt like sliding down Gojo's throat

🌸 They're not big on PDA, but sometimes Gojo will tug on Geto's sleeve for affection, and Geto sometimes hooks his pinkie finger into Gojo's while they walk

🌸 Their texts are unhinged. Gojo communicates almost entirely in shitposts. Geto replies in perfect grammar every time.

[danitheibsdiva]

Murder husbands/boyfriends satoru and suguru might be my new fav dynamic thank you very much

[boo-cool-robot]

Fic: womb, cursed [Jujutsu Kaisen, Gojo/Geto]

Word Count: 3294 Rating: Mature Summary: “The great and powerful Gojo clan can't hurt me anymore. They need me too much now that I’ve fully awakened Limitless.” Satoru slugged his second cola back and glanced sidelong across the bench at Suguru. “So you're going to help take my uterus out.” Suguru gave a smile that was much too calm and remained staring straight ahead. “Am I. Why?” In which teen Gojo gets a home hysterectomy and absolutely no one is having a good time.

Ft. Trans Gojo! Hot Premature Death summer! The worst possible way of dealing with distance between you and your boybestie!

This is possibly the most unhinged fic I've ever written. This doc was titled "Gojo's evil and gay hysterectomy" if that helps get the vibe across. Enjoy?

[sulky-cabbage]

We don't talk about these panels enough this is the first time the words: "The loneliness that comes with peerless strength!! I will be the one who will teach you about love!!" Were uttered.

And THIS. WAS. SUKUNA'S. REACTION.

Yorozu seemed to have expressed to him exactly how he felt about someone else. It seems like an "Ironic, I was just thinking that" kind of laugh.

He pulled a weird face and legit started giggling; even Yorozu was like, "Huh?"

She perceived it as Sukuna already knowing about love, but if it were anyone else, they would’ve assumed Sukuna was just mocking them (she's not crazy; Gege is simply expressing to us what Sukuna is thinking through her so it becomes clear and not up for interpretation).

It becomes even more clear during his fight with gojo, it's so painfully obvious it's basically canon that Sukuna loved gojo (or at the very least wanted to).

It's so damn obvious that a dudebro created a theory video titled "Sukuna loves Gojo" that is based on this exchange between Yorozu and Sukuna before the fight with Gojo even happened.

Like... in what world does that happen??😭😭 a dudebro making a theory like that? And the comments are something else man... (I advice everyone to watch it it's really good).

Yorozu felt threatened, she became jealous, and literally started sweating😭😭 and declared "That's not love!! I'll show you what real love looks like!!" Which she obviously failed to accomplish lol

I wish we could have had an interaction between Yorozu and Gojo. we were robbed..

I know she would have hated gojo and tried to kill him in an attempt to prove she is stronger than him and therefore more worthy of Sukuna's love lmao

Orrrrrr.... maybe... she would support them and start fujoshing out 👀