#going to slash my life expectancy in half watching this game no matter the result... our upcoming schedule is brutal good god

[juergenklopp]

do you think the eagles or chiefs are winning on monday?

The Curse of the Wheel™️ has landed on the Chiefs... I believe in our lord and savior Brandon Perna EAGLES BY A GAZILLION BIRDS COUNTRY LET'S RIDE

[mylordshesacactus]

An Exhaustive Blow-By-Blow Analysis Of The ‘To Catch A Jedi’ Warehouse Duel That Was Definitely Asked For And Desired By People Other Than Us: An Essay By Alex And Jo

Or: It Is The Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand FUCKING Twenty, And Yet Here We Are, At The End Of All Things, Still Analyzing Barriss Offee’s Terrible Life Decisions.

Yes we’ve been saying we’d do this for the past five years minimum yes we’re girls what about it.

Before we begin, a moment of acknowledgement. Of all the people she’s faced, with all her skill and cunning and strength in the Force, the one and only character we have ever seen completely get the drop on Asajj Ventress--take her out without even giving her time to go for her lightsabers, stone cold, no duel no banter no challenge—

Is BARRISS FUCKING OFFEE. DEPENDABLE BARRISS™. LUMINARA UNDULI’S KID. THE NERD WHO MEMORIZED THE ENTIRE INSIDE OF A GEONOSIAN LABYRINTH, YOU KNOW, JUST IN CASE.

WITH A PIPE.

In the library.

And once she’s done that, this happens:

...and Jo and Alex spend the next seven years going absolutely feral. 

A brief moment now where we drag Ahsoka for failing to notice that in the last ten minutes Asajj Ventress has somehow managed to lose about six inches of height. But of course she doesn’t; the entirety of To Catch a Jedi is spent establishing that Ahsoka is firing on zero cylinders. She’s exhausted—she’s probably been awake for over 24 hours at this point—she’s confused, she’s scared, her entire world is crumbling all around her and she doesn’t understand why. So we see her make slip-up after slip-up, making a lot of stupid mistakes that get her noticed by the Coruscant police, and also briefly forgetting how elevators work.

“I, uh, guess I’m not exactly on my game these days.”

So...yeah. She doesn’t notice Asajj’s height loss or the real damning difference: Barriss is completely silent the entire fight, and Asajj never shuts the fuck up.

Of course, Barriss doesn’t need this deception to be perfect. She just needs to make it believable enough. This little Makashi salute—a duelist’s formality, something that screams Dooku—is the first little Ventress-y quirk she throws in, and that’s relevant, because it’s central to her entire motivation for this fight.

Barriss isn’t here to kill Ahsoka.

Barriss is here to save her life.

...Like, she’s bad at it. She’s making horrible decisions that keep getting worse. But there’s a reason she’s disguising herself as Ventress—Ventress is the perfect catspaw, and Barriss desperately needs a catspaw right now, because Ahsoka was never meant to take the fall for the bombing.

Letta went off-script and came within inches of naming Barriss—who, going by the timing, was almost certainly already infiltrating that secure facility (which...gotta respect the skill that took, at least) to silence her—or free her, we don’t know what Barriss intended but we’re not giving her that much benefit of the doubt right now. If she hadn’t called for Ahsoka as quickly as she did, Letta would have died alone in her cell, killed by a nameless Force-user, and the trail would have gone cold.

Instead Ahsoka was there, and when Barriss was faced with a choice between her actions being exposed and letting Ahsoka take the blame, she took the latter. But then Barriss breaks her out, with every indication being that something...went very wrong, as the situation spirals out of control. It’s obvious that Barriss is in the vents during that escape because the clones in Ahsoka’s path keep mysteriously dying and their wounds are fresh, and also there’s no more convenient interference once she gets outside. So now Ahsoka’s free but the subject of a planetwide manhunt that makes her look even MORE guilty…which wasn’t meant to happen.

Remember that Ahsoka is the one who contacted Barriss for help, and Barriss clearly wasn’t expecting it. She spends most of this episode desperately flailing for something, anything to do to fix all this, and she’s lost until she discovers Ahsoka is now with Ventress.

Ventress. Ventress is a darksider. If Ventress is linked to this at all, people will believe it. Ventress could easily have gotten into that prison—through the vents, someone would inevitably have suggested, and probably discovered whatever lightsaber sabotage Barriss used to get in. Case closed. 

So all Barriss has to do to fix this without coming clean is frame Ventress believably. Then the person being executed will...well it’ll only be Asajj Ventress, and she deserves it, right? 

(Asajj Ventress--and all those clones Barriss killed in the breakout. And that’s very telling. Barriss who memorized 800 junctions of a Geonosian labyrinth for one singular mission, because “other people’s lives” depended on her success, doesn’t seem to have factored in the lives of those clones. They don’t seem to be registering in these calculations.)

The point is that Ahsoka’s name will be clear and Barriss’ will never have been in danger.

If you watch that short opening bout, before Ahsoka kicks her away, it’s...well, in Luminara’s words, amateurish and sloppy. All the blows, including that ostensibly fatal double-overhead strike, are DRAMATICALLY telegraphed. In a few cases, she is visibly missing on purpose:

This strike right here? This strike is HILARIOUSLY transparent in slow motion. She has an opening and instead sweeps her lightsabers ALL THE WAY back on the opposite side; and when she brings them down again…

Apologies for the motion blur but—Ahsoka moves to block and MISSES, which doesn’t matter because the blades were like a full foot away from actually making contact with her body. Barriss is striking at her lightsabers half the time for this first flurry of action, before letting Ahsoka break away for that salute. And this is not an animation error. TCW has plenty of those, but they know how to choreograph a lightsaber duel.

So the goal of this fight is very clearly not to kill Ahsoka. It’s to LOOK like she’s trying to kill Ahsoka, while mostly just trying to attract attention and act as much like Ventress as she possibly can.

As a result, Barriss spends a lot of the fight creating space. She pulls a sheet of metal down at Ahsoka, while gesturing dramatically to telegraph her intentions and give Ahsoka plenty of time to dodge:

And then she runs away to a higher level, letting Ahsoka pursue and then hiding.

This fucking pipe trick is NOT a Ventress thing, mind. This is 100% Mirialan using-the-environment bullshit and also, Barriss, a massive bitch move. We’re pointing it out mostly because of how dramatically Ahsoka JUMPS here. Because...listen, she’s better than this. She’s a wartime Padawan. She’s Anakin Skywalker’s wartime Padawan. She has way more duelling experience than a Jedi of her age normally would, and in a vacuum—in a normal sparring situation, where they’re both rested and prepared for it—Ahsoka would probably beat Barriss nine times out of ten in a duel.

This is anything but a vacuum. As we established, Ahsoka is firing on zero cylinders, she’s exhausted, she’s in the midst of a complete mental breakdown, she’s lost her offhand blade, and she doesn’t know the layout of the area like Barriss does. Ahsoka may be a more skilled and experienced duellist, but in this situation that means exactly fuckall. So Barriss runs rings around her.

So after the pipe trick—again a “cinematic” detail, something to ramp up the tension and sell the deception that otherwise has massive holes in it—Barriss gets in ONE solid blow.

Ahsoka’s off-balance, she’s blocking with both hands, Barriss could use her primary to slice under her guard—

At which point she does a FUCKING CARTWHEEL over the point of contact, which is not REMOTELY a Ventress thing, that is all Luminara Unduli all the time. That is the Mirialan Unnecessary Acrobatics Bonus Action.

And then again, a sloppy midsection slash that was nowhere near connecting and serves entirely to create space. A few more standard telegraphed blows.

And then what we generally refer to as the first turn in this duel.

Barriss roundhouse-kicks Ahsoka in the ribs hard enough to send her flying through a stack of boxes and bounce off the wall behind it. And that was an actual, solid injury. Ahsoka takes a moment to get back to her feet, clutching her side like she’s broken ribs, and her already-poor form takes even more of a dive after this. If Barriss wanted to, she easily could have killed Ahsoka here, but instead...

She backs off. Slowly and deliberately, making what’s very nearly a come-hither gesture with her offhand lightsaber. 

And again—Ahsoka is better than this. She is smarter than this. This is such, such glaringly obvious BAIT. She’s being drawn deeper into the factory; Barriss is absolutely herding her, and she falls for it, because she’s not doing great right now.

(And of course Barriss is herding her. Thus far, there’s no actual evidence that Ventress was here except for Ahsoka’s word. For this deception to work there have to be witnesses. She has to attract attention.)

So she does a bunch of flippy bullshit (#Mirialans) to knock those barrels off, slowing Ahsoka down and tiring her out some more.

And when Ahsoka’s done playing Donkey Kong, she COMPLETELY crits on her spot check and does the exact thing that will get Anakin brutally dismembered in about a year. She flips onto the upper level, right past Barriss, who’s just sort of politely waiting for her to land and get her feet under her.

It...is genuinely heartbreaking, honestly, how out of it Ahsoka is during this fight.

And this is actually the second turn, because while it’s impossible to get a high-quality screenshot, this is the first moment where Barriss begins to show that she’s...getting a little too into this. Ahsoka flips onto the platform, and for several seconds she’s slashing wildly around herself while Barriss dodges...completely unarmed.

There’s a few more halfhearted exchanges of blows, culminating in Ahsoka’s only near-hit in this episode. And it comes CLOSE, too; she’s still Ahsoka Tano, after all. Barriss dodges this blow by inches, and Ahsoka impales her saber to the HILT in that support column.

At which point Barriss dodges around the other side of the column and, again, just...waits, for Ahsoka to come at her again.

(We honestly have no idea how so much of the fandom misses how INCREDIBLY staged this whole thing was, because it’s not subtle. The animators are brilliant. It’s fast-paced enough that it’s believable that AHSOKA would believe it, but when you actually watch what’s happening...)

Barriss does ANOTHER FUCKING backflip and they exchange a few more strikes, at which point Barriss pulls what’s actually the bitchiest move she pulls in this whole fight. But it’s also...one of the most interesting and lowkey AWFUL things. Because right now, she is still trying to be Ventress.

She slashes the gas canister open to set up the upcoming explosion, but she also times it so that Ahsoka gets blasted in the face with hot compressed gas that staggers her and briefly impairs Ahsoka’s vision. And that is...a move that we have seen Asajj Ventress use, onscreen, before.

Against Luminara.

The only possible way Barriss could know about this little compressed-steam trick of Ventress’ is through her master. 

Barriss was not there for this fight. Barriss did not see this happen. But Luminara has, out loud, credited Ahsoka for saving her life in this fight—and rightly so, because Ventress came within inches of killing her multiple times during that fight and this was one of them. And Barriss would have to know that. And she just used it against Ahsoka.

In a fight, Luminara is a graceful Lady of War. Barriss Offee, on the other hand, is a stone-cold fucking bitch.

By the time of this arc Barriss is convinced that all of the Jedi have fallen, that they’re all in service to the dark side and just don’t see it, and in a lot of ways she’s right. But the fact is that Barriss Offee herself has fallen to the dark side personally in a way that most individual Jedi have not, and what happens next shows it.

Barrels Offee over here uses the Force to shove a bunch of explosives over the red-hot wounds left by her lightsabers and gets the pyrotechnics she was looking for.

And this is the final turn. Earlier, we noticed Barriss getting a little too into this fight, toying with Ahsoka, taunting her with that unarmed dodging; but she was still focused on her objective, still laying a stage for the most part.

And this is it. This is the objective.

By creating that explosion, she caught the attention of local authorities. There will be witnesses any moment now who will see her, wearing Ventress’ mask and holding Ventress’ lightsabers, standing in a munitions factory that Letta Turmond can be tied to. Ahsoka will testify that she went to investigate and Ventress came from behind to kill her, and suddenly everything will make sense.

Ahsoka...is out of the fight. She’s barely stirring, she’s not getting up. She doesn’t even have the strength to lift that sheet of metal; the only reason she’s able to BARELY get onto her hands and knees is that Barriss uses the Force to lift it off her.

Barriss got what she wanted.

And then she keeps going.

This is Barriss in the FULL grip of the Darkside Tango over here. She’s angry and scared and angry and something about that explosion was cathartic, and this is the point where the duel takes a sharp turn. Something...has changed, about Barriss’ demeanor, here.

She doesn’t appear to be thinking anymore.

This is the point at which this fight is...honestly, just hard to watch. It’s a beatdown. Barriss is now hurting Ahsoka on purpose, and for no other reason than to hurt her. She puts her ALL behind flinging a ragdolling, half-conscious Ahsoka into the wall so hard it shakes some of the steel loose. It’s brutal, and Barriss’ body language is cold and confident the whole time.

She is completely lost in the sauce on the Dark Side at this point.

The absolute worst thing from here on in is the way Ahsoka just…Keeps. Getting. Up.

She can barely stand at this point. She’s got her saber up trying to hold a guard position and she physically can’t. This is legitimately the worst Ahsoka’s ever gotten beaten in a fight in her life, and she knows it. She’s staggering. Her eyes aren’t even fully in focus.

Barriss doesn’t bother with actually fighting, because she doesn’t need to. She hits Ahsoka with a casual Force push to knock her back off her feet, and Ahsoka just cringes in anticipation of it because she knows she can’t defend herself properly.

And then there goes her lightsaber, tumbling over the edge, and she never holds it again until the Siege of Mandalore. That Weapon Is Her Life, and we never see it in its current form again.

And Ahsoka GETS UP AGAIN.

Ladies and gentlemen, our hero.

She is DOWN. She’s dead on her feet, she can’t even walk; she just sort of stumbles across the floor with her own momentum. But she is still SOMEHOW trying to square off with “Ventress.”

And this, right here? This is how we know exactly what Barriss’ mindset is right now, because Ahsoka never gives up. She just doesn’t. She’s the biggest cockroach in a universe containing Darth “Just A Flesh Wound” Maul. Ahsoka doesn’t just lie down and accept her fate. She doesn’t just let people win.

And Barriss...has.

There’s a viciousness in the way she ends this fight. Like, it’s Barriss—all of her fights are a little bit vicious. She is a BITCH when the chips are down. But this is...vindictive. From the moment Ahsoka trembles to her hands and knees after that explosion, the overwhelming cold cruelty Barriss shows from that moment until she spin-kicks Ahsoka down like two and a half stories of broken slats onto solid concrete is raw, bitter:

Will you just STAY DOWN for once in your FUCKING life?!

And we want to take a moment to give Ahsoka the dignity of acknowledging that she still doesn’t.

And then the GAR shows up, and Barriss really shows her true colors. Because the moment she hears Republic forces arriving...

Barriss runs.

We worry sometimes that because Barriss is our favorite character, people will think that means we think she’s justified in her actual actions in this arc, or that her worst actions are somehow not her fault. But let us be very clear: Barriss Offee fucked up royal and is entirely responsible for that. 

The fact that it’s very clear she didn’t come into this fight with intent to kill, the fact that her actions are calculated to clear Ahsoka’s name, is the FURTHEST thing from absolution. Even as she tries to find a solution throughout this episode, it all stems from her original decision to frame Ahsoka for Letta’s murder rather than let Letta spill the beans. There’s a very, very simple solution to this mess, a simple way to clear Ahsoka’s name and make amends for the attack that Barriss regretted almost the moment it happened. But she consistently refuses to even consider it as an option.

Barriss Offee does not want to face the consequences of her actions.

She came into this to fix things, but when push comes to shove—she wants to save her own life. She wants to be a radical dissenter and still get to be the Jedi Padawan poster girl, and the security that comes with it. She doesn’t stick around to make sure she’s seen by witnesses because as evidenced by that brutal beatdown, she’s...stopped caring, that much. She doesn’t value Ahsoka’s life enough to risk her own anymore.

So when this fails, when the clones don’t see her and there’s no evidence to back up Ahsoka’s story that Ventress was the one behind it, when three words from Barriss would save her from a death she doesn’t deserve, Barriss says absolutely nothing until she’s compelled at lightsaber-point.

At the end of the day, this whole elaborate deception was only ever about one thing, and it wasn’t Ahsoka. It was the fact that Barriss Offee doesn’t want to get caught.

[luxicorde]

Prompt 17: Obeisance

(2.7k words and posted at fuckin quarter till 1 in the morning.

I got an Idea and I hyperfixated.)

“Calum Odette, your presence has been requested by the Emperor of Ronka. You will need to come with us.”

The hall went silent as Calum and the other hunters turned, finding Ronkan soldiers sat in their doorway. It was no secret that Ronka had its eyes on the desert, and soldiers were becoming more and more common as a result.

But soldiers making demands, especially of the hunters and a blackblood to boot, was crossing an unspoken line.

Gera stood from his spot at the table, turning to them and keeping a hand loosely perched on the hilt of one of his blades. “Gentlemen,” he said, a sweet smile on his face but venom in his voice. “You’re awfully far from the jungle. Did you get lost, maybe hit your head on the way here?”

That got a few snorts and chuckles from the other hunters. One of the guards reached for the sword at his hip before the other threw an arm out in front of him, the thump to his armor getting him to back off. “This does not concern you, Drahn. We know Master Odette to be half-elfan, and if necessary we will search this entire establishment.”

“My, they’re mouthy little shits, aren’t they?” Several of the hunters had lost interest at this point, returning to their drinks and meals. To them, it wouldn’t matter if the Emperor himself barged in. Half of them wouldn’t give an amaro’s arse about it, and the other half were too stubbornly loyal to give Calum up.

“You dare insult soldiers chosen by-”

“Oh yes, I do dare. You don’t have any power here, lackeys. Leave.” It didn’t take long for Gera to grow bored of them. The game had gone from fun to annoying awfully fast with the hot-headed soldier and his high-and-mighty attitude.

The calmer soldier took a step forward, and most of the hunters rose from their seats, ready to defend their own. If the soldiers had stayed out of the hall, the hunters would have let them be. But trespassing was something none of them would tolerate.

“Put your weapons away. As my companion was saying, we have been chosen by the Emperor himself to bring Master Odette back-”

“‘Master’ Odette? I don’t know, Gera, it has a ring to it.” Calum had remained seated, not wanting to bother with the soldiers. His back was turned to them, but they seemed to hear him anyway. 

He heard the footsteps come closer, and felt Gera move from his side to put himself in between him and the soldiers. 

“Lay a finger on us, and the Emperor will have this place razed to the ground!”

“I’d like to see him try. It would be amusing to watch the little metal-clad bugs dash themselves against our walls.”

Calum heard the fight behind him, not turning to watch knowing it would be quick. He took a sip of his drink as he heard Gera unsheathe his blades, the sound of a body hitting the floor, and a few more clangs before the second body hit the ground. The other hunters in the hall let out a cheer as Gera put his swords away again, bending over to haul the two soldiers outside. They were still alive, though bleeding quite a bit. Still, Calum didn’t doubt they’d be picked up and healed by some kind passerby.

Eventually, at least.

It had been a few weeks since the soldiers first came. Calum had forgotten about them entirely, making himself busy with hunts and training. It wasn’t until Madi, poor, sweet little Madi had burst through the door, panting like she had run a marathon just to get there.

The Dwarf took her breath before standing back up straight. “Which... one of you idiots... pissed off the Ronkans?!”

Slowly the hunters turned to face Calum and Gera, who had been talking about their latest battle. The two men looked a bit sheepish, not expecting there to be any sort of threat after defending themselves.

“Oh-! You foolish, idiot brutes! We have a whole host of soldiers waiting at the gates because of your pig-headedness!” She rushed over, pulling Calum from his seat and nearly yanking his arm off with her strength. “Come on, come on! They’re here looking for you, you blundering oaf! We need to get you out!”

The other hunters in the hall groaned and sighed, gathering their weapons as they muttered about Calum dragging them into another mess. Gera stayed by his side until Madi shooed him away. “Go!” she said, taking a moment to let go of Calum’s hand to shoo him out the door. “If it comes to fighting they’ll need you more than he does!”

Gera stole a glance at Calum before he allowed himself to be pushed out the door, only leaving when Calum gave him a nod.

Madi led him out of the back of the hall, dragging him along like her little legs depended on it. She didn’t stop moving until she nearly ran into someone after turning a corner. 

“It looks like we were right to sneak in.” Two soldiers stood before them, and Madi backed up the moment she realized what was happening. Calum placed himself in front of her, motioning for her to run.

“Grab the man, and we’ll get a nice fancy reward. Let the girl run.” With that, Madi bolted, and the soldiers moved forward. In a flash, Calum had his blade out, running his fingertips across the edge to stoke the fire to life. The first soldier was hardly a challenge, simply running forward and expecting Calum to move out of the way. The weak, almost pitiful slash barely clanged against his greatsword as he took the blow, easily countering with his own and ripping open the soldier’s back. 

He never liked killing people. It was always a terrible, terrible thing, but he wasn’t about to let himself be kidnapped to avoid it.

The second soldier was more of a challenge, using the thin alleyway to his advantage. His spear was harder to block, and harder still to dodge with how little room Calum had. He positioned his body to the side to dodge, using the movement to swing his blade down from above, but rather than meeting flesh, it clanged off the stone pavement, the soldier jumping back before advancing again to take advantage of Calum’s vulnerable form.

He brought the blade up just in time to deflect, the spearhead skidding off the steel and showering him in sparks as it hit the side of the building next to him. Calum spun to deflect the next thrust and give himself the momentum for a slash from the bottom, creating his own flurry of sparks as he brought the blade up. He caught the soldier’s hand, forcing him to drop the spear and give Calum an opening. He rushed forward, expecting to run the soldier through.

Then he felt a prick at the side of his neck.

And then another.

The world quickly started to spin, and he lost his balance as the third dart pierced his skin. He braced himself against the wall of a building, trying to shake the fog from his mind as he started to drift off.

“You couldn’t have done that sooner?” Calum heard as the guard moved next to him, first retrieving his spear before holding Calum back by the arms. He gave a weak attempt to struggle free, but it was becoming harder and harder to keep his eyes open, let alone fight his way out of this.

The soft ‘thump’ of someone landing near him sounded like it was muffled through a thick layer of cotton. 

“Had to be sure he was the one. Has the eyes alright. Check his hand.”

Calum didn’t know what they meant. Didn’t have the time to figure it out as the world around him faded to black.

Calum woke to the soft rocking of a ship. He could feel more than see there was someone next to him, but it all soon faded away again as something was poured down his throat.

He woke several more times, but the only time he was allowed to stay awake was when he was somewhere else entirely. The smell of salt was gone, and the floor didn’t creak or rock as he got out of bed and landed. He was still shaky on his feet, and he felt like he was hungover, but he was lucid enough to know this wasn’t home. 

The floor was made from stone, a rug only meeting his feet halfway. It didn’t take him long to realize his armor was gone, and so was his sword. Whoever had put him there had decided to play dress-up, his undershirt traded for a clean white tunic and his pants and underclothes matching. There was a massive window, showing the lush green of a forest. He wasn’t so dumb as to not figure out he wasn’t in Amh Araeng anymore. 

The door to the room opened, revealing a servant dressed in a simple grey and gold robe. She smiled sweetly as she saw him, placing the tray she was carrying down on the table nearest to the bed. Calum cursed his traitorous nose for picking up the scent of freshly cooked meat, and he could only guess from the sickly sweet smell coming from the pitcher that it was some sort of tea.

“It is good to see you awake, Master Odette. The emperor has requested that you eat before seeing him.” The woman waved her hand to the tray, bowing slightly as she did so.

“I won’t be eating anything here. And don’t call me ‘Master.’”

“My apologies. But I must insist that you eat, the Emperor-”

“The Emperor can shove it up his ass for all I care. Take me to him, now. I want to know why in the seven hells he kidnapped me.”

The woman briefly had a stunned look across her face, but she quickly replaced it with her smile before bowing again and showing Calum to the hall.

Without his armor and sword, he felt naked, especially when being led in front of the doors to what he guessed was the throne room. The Viis guards there were armed to the teeth, and he’d heard the stories from Gera about how a Viis palace guard could kill a man with a single shot from a malm away.

The guards opened the doors, not sparing him a second glance as they did so. The woman led him inside, and Calum winced at the sheer amount of light pouring in through the windows. Once his eyes adjusted, he would have thought this place beautiful if the circumstances were different. Massive stone arches, wrapped in leaves and moss and all other kinds of foliage made the roof of the massive throne room. Windows stretched up to the green canopy above, letting in the morning sun and the gentle breeze from the forest. Birds flitted about high above, some more muted but others in dazzling reds and blues.

If he weren’t glaring at the man sitting in the golden throne at the end of the hall, he would have been mesmerized.

The Emperor was far from an imposing man. An older Hume, starting to go grey at the temples and dark skin just starting to pull against his face with wrinkles. The deep blue eyes he had were kind, but Calum wasn’t inclined to trust someone who had orchestrated his kidnapping. His robes were a similar shade to his eyes, deep blue and trimmed with white and gold. As Calumn was led closer to him, he stood, arms stretched out as if for a hug.

“Thank you, Amina. You may leave now.” The woman bowed low and turned on her heels, silently making her way out of the throne room and leaving Calum alone with the Emperor. 

Only, that wasn’t quite true.

Hiding in the shadows of the archway was another Viis guard, likely a personal attendant of some sort. Calum wasn’t surprised to see her. It would have been stupid to leave him alone.

“I hope my soldiers did not hurt you, but I was told you put up quite the fight.” The Emperor had a kind smile, matching his eyes. Calum only saw it as a mask, but what it was hiding, he couldn’t say.

“Why have you brought me here? All of Amh Araeng is going to know you kidnapped a hunter, and they won’t let your soldiers prance about after that.”

His smile faltered for a moment as he let out a small sigh, but he quickly composed himself again. “Your right hand, if you would, Calum?”

Calum covered his hand, not liking where this was going. The mark that had been there since he was a child was none of this Emperor’s business, and even if it was, he wasn’t about to show it to a stranger.

“Please, Calum. This does not need to be difficult.”

When Calum still refused, the Emperor snapped his fingers, and the Viis woman was at his side in a heartbeat. Still woozy from whatever they’d done to make him stay asleep, he couldn’t put up much of a fight as the guard peeled back the fingers of his left hand, showing the mark.

“So it’s true.” The Emperor almost sounded… choked up? Calum couldn’t place his tone, yanking his hand back from the Viis.

Just as the emperor had come forward to hug him.

Calum shoved him away, but quickly found an arrow leveled to his head. The red-haired guard would be having none of this, it seemed, but Calum barely flinched as he felt the bite of cold steel against his scalp.

“My son, after all this time...”

Those words settled in his belly like a stone. But once they set in, it was quickly replaced by a burning rage. He felt his blood start to boil as his mind connected the dots.

The Emperor had returned to him, taking his hands in his own. Calum went to yank them away, but the sting at the side of his head only got sharper as he tensed up. 

“Leave us, Almet.”

“B-but sir-”

“Leave us!”

The Viis swallowed her words, shooting Calum a glare before bowing and leaving.

As soon as she was gone, Calum ripped his hands away.

“Your son?” His voice was shaking with rage. He’d never met his parents, his mother died having him and… and…

His father, whoever that was, had never been there. Never even acknowledged he was alive. He’d been found in a box behind a whorehouse, left outside for passerby or animals, whichever found him first.

“Of course! When the reports reached me that a man had eyes like the emperor, I did not-”

“Enough.” It was all he could do to keep himself from strangling this man. He knew what that mark on his hand meant, Gera had told him, but he wouldn’t believe it. Call it a weird birthmark, fate, something, but he refused to believe it meant that he had been left to die and live in squalor while his father ate off of golden plates.

Calum was shaking when the Emperor spoke again. “I know this must be shocking, Calum-”

“Do not call me that.” His voice was firm, if only for a moment as he practically growled out the words through his teeth. “You have no right.”

“As your father, I-”

“You are not my father!” Calum stepped forward, his blood truly burning in his veins. “You did not raise me! I was left to die and cared for only out of sheer dumb luck!” He couldn’t hold back the anger any more, looming over the shorter Emperor as he spoke. “Why did you bring me here, after twenty summers of not caring?! Kidnapping me after twenty summers of living across the world?!”

He took a few shaky breaths, backing up after hearing shifting from the door behind him.

The Emperor had a worried glint in his eye. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t this.

“Is seeing my son not enough of a reason?”

“LAIR!” Calum lunged at him, any sliver of composure lost with those words. He didn’t hear when the guards rushed in, barely felt their blows, blinded by rage as he was. All he could think of doing was getting rid of this man, this worthless filth in front of him. He heard shouting, and the world went black again.

[missstormcaller]

CAN’T FEAR YOUR OWN WORLD Vol. II Part 8 Full Translation

This is the first half of part 10 on the app (chapter 9 continued)

Rukongai

Luppi Antenor's fate as an Arrancar, was once completely sealed at the hands of Grimmjow. Thanks to Inoue Orihime's powers which were summoned at Aizen's insistence, Grimmjow's lost arm had been regenerated. In that same way, he urged Inoue to restore the skin on his back as well as the character for Sexta tattooed there. At this point, the situation had evolved to accommodate two Sextas among the Espada, Luppi and Grimmjow —— However, the end had been marked for that overlap in only a matter of seconds. Feeling confused and irritated, Luppi questioned Grimmjow about the intention behind having his numerical digit restored, he received a clear answer by way of an arm running through his chest as a result. —— "That's the way it goes. See ya, 'former' number 6." Grimmjow's words, and the vast amount of Reiatsu gushing forth from the insides of his chest. That is Luppi's last memory as an Espada.

—— I had a thirst.

After regaining his consciousness through the efforts of Kurotsuchi Mayuri, it was Luppi who had somehow displayed a philosophical outlook, but it was impossible to forget the grudge he held when he was 'still alive.' Those who once looked down on him, those who caused him shame, every last one of them could not be forgiven. Watching for an opportunity, Luppi secretly schemed in his mind to one day carry out his revenge.

—— I had a thirst.

He was supposed to be thinking towards that �� However, when he was deployed to actual combat as a member of the Kurotsuchi Corpse Unit, Luppi began to cast doubt into his own heart. Hitsugaya Tōshirō. That was the name of the opponent who once gave Luppi his first taste of defeat during the battle in Karakura Town. Luppi came to learn that name only after he was resurrected.

He still distinctly recalls the deceleration he made the moment he was withdrawn from Hitsugaya's location. —— "Don't forget my face." —— "Because the next time we meet, I'll definitely twist off that tiny little head of yours… and crush it!" This wasn't just a sharp parting remark or an act of bravado, but rather words that were loaded with hatred stemming from sincere feelings. Though he was careless, even Luppi himself acknowledged that his opponent was a formidable individual. Nevertheless, even on the basis of having understood that, he decided it must be done. In order to allow himself to continue to exist as himself, he decided that the captain who had the form of a child, must be shredded to pieces. —— Thirst which can not be cured. The opportunity to meet again came sooner than imagined. Thrown into the battlefield as a game piece under the control of the Quincy, and in opposition to himself who was acting as a member of the Kurotsuchi Corpse Unit alongside Dordoni and the others, Hitsugaya Tōshirō made an appearance before them in the most unexpected way. Becoming a corpse puppet kept alive through the ability held by one among the Quincy, he stood in the path before the Shinigami as a brutal and peerless enemy. Yet for all that — the moment he laid eyes on that scene, Luppi realises that the destructive impulses in his heart had began to subside. —— What the heck is that about? —— How is it, that he's broken already? —— He may be just my plaything. But I am the one who was supposed to break him! The Shinigami who appeared next, was a woman whom he also recalls battling. Matsumoto Rangiku. An opponent he described as having a "killer body" and attempted to skewer with a countless number of needles during their past confrontation in Karakura Town. Although Luppi's preference of physique hasn't changed since then, she had been reduced to a walking corpse all the same, her mind in a state of complete ruin. He had taken her as an opponent under Mayuri's orders, but neither the thrill nor the destructive urge, and not even that ecstatic feeling the moment he crushingly defeats an inferior opponent, could surge its way to the surface like it did in the past.

—— Unquenchable thirst.

—— The Corpse Unit huh?

After the war against the Quincies had come to an end, even though Luppi had heard stories that Hitsugaya and Rangiku had returned to their original states, he was not driven once again by the urge to go and kill them. —— Sure, perhaps that suits the current me. —— Why the hell is it, that I feel as if I haven't truly experienced being alive? Spending his days as a lackey working behind the scenes of the Department of Research and Development, he was tasked with things such as the capture of newborn Hollows possessing peculiar abilities. Although he was no longer confined at times other than work these days, that's purely due to the fact that Kurotsuchi Mayuri's surveillance system had become flawless. Judging from Mayuri's character, Luppi knew it wouldn't be unusual for the man to have even implanted a self-detonating bomb inside him. However, even without it — if for instance he was told to "engage in battle with Hitsugaya Tōshirō" under Mayuri's instructions, it appeared unlikely that he would be thrilled at the prospect.

—— The thirst. —— The thirst is constantly expanding.

Whilst fulfilling the instructions he was assigned with, day after day he would feel an unquenchable thirst. Nevertheless, his thirsting is not consequent upon that. There is nothing that can fill that nothingness as empty as a Hollow's hole. Withered away, is it not that very desire itself which is one of a Hollow's roots? Despite such misgivings crossing his mind, for Luppi it was a trivial matter. In this way, he was merely used a tool for the Shinigami, probably until both his body and mind dries up and evaporates. He even entertained such discouraging thoughts. —— Argh, but I've been thinking, to thirst, to dry up, to feel absolute nothingness and then eventually become one with the sands of Hueco Mundo, I don't want it. What was the point of carrying on with life day after day whilst continuing to thirst in this way? On this day, just as he pondered such thoughts that were negative to the point of being unimaginable to his former self —— The moment he caught sight of Grimmjow's form, all his 'thirst' disappeared. It was fear towards the one who killed him. It was hatred towards the one who looked down on him. It was delight at the discovery of the one who must be 'destroyed'. The emotions which had supposedly ran dry before now, came spewing out with fierce momentum from the deepest parts of his body. It's as if water was overflowing from a part of the body which should have been empty -- from the depths of his 'hole'.

Due to the "Gran Rey Cero" fired by Grimmjow, some of Luppi's tentacles had taken severe damage. Even though blood was also streaming out from Luppi's body itself, he didn't flinch from it in the slightest. Rather, it was as if the fury which was cutting into him had caused his Reiatsu to amplify further, the motion of each and every tentacle increased in speed. Grimmjow who continued to take the barrage of hits, daringly utters more words of provocation even in a situation where he was at a disadvantage with the frequency of attacks. Blood went flying around from the tentacles which rebounded off his vigorous slashing attacks, a spurt of blood clung to Grimmjow's cheek. As soon as Luppi had transformed each of his eight tentacles in their current conditions into either a mountain of needles or a pointed blade, he rotated them at high speed resembling the propeller of a helicopter and then thrust them towards Grimmjow. "Don't be… so slow!" Meanwhile Grimmjow boldly weaved his body through the gaps between the flurry of blows. In this way Grimmjow was able to kick Luppi himself away, he planned to unleash "Gran Rey Cero" a second time in order to pursue him, but then —— " ! " From the tips of all eight tentacles belonging to Luppi who went tumbling down, Ceros are shot in quick succession. As expected, one after the other they did not possess power as formidable as that of a "Gran Rey Cero", but perhaps emulating Grimmjow's technique in which one's own blood is mixed in to boost Reiatsu, the flashes of light which were much stronger compared to an ordinary Cero, charged towards the rival Arrancar with vigour similar to a Bala. (TN -- as a reminder, Bala is 20x faster than Cero.) "I told you, you're too slow!" Grimmjow ceased repelling those continuous strikes, remaining unconcerned as he sustained the injuries too, he then unleashed these words. " —— Grind, Pantera!"

Hueco Mundo "Is Harribel really going too? Are things going to be okay with you away from Hueco Mundo?" "…I'm merely going to gauge Soul Society's true intentions. I'll leave the task of bringing back Grimmjow to you." While responding to Nelliel's words, Harribel opens up a Garganta under the dome of Las Noches. As a result of continued investigation following his disappearance, they were able to confirm that remnants of Grimmjow's Reiatsu were heading towards Soul Society. Despite the need to bring him back before things develop into a large-scale dispute, moving into operation with a great number of people, can in itself be taken as an act of hostility towards Soul Society. Understanding that it was pointless to trigger a conflict to no avail at their current fighting power, Harribel intended to keep the headcount to a bare minimum, in other words, she would proceed towards 'negotiations' with Soul Society unaided. Three individuals known as Apacci, Rose and Sung-Sun who are Harribel's Fracción, refused to back down saying "we will also go", but in the end they were made to stay behind as an essential part of defence in her absence. "Please leave it to us to take of things here. Harribel sama, please don't push yourself too hard either…" The anxiety that swayed in the depths of Sung-sun's words which sounded serene, is likely caused by the fact that Harribel was taken prisoner by Yhwach in the past. Concluding as much, Harribel extended heartfelt apologies for her own shortcomings, at the same time she spoke in order to put Sung-sun and the others at ease. "…I'm sorry. In order to not allow a situation like that to occur again, it is necessary to act now." Facing her Fracción, Harribel revealed a glimpse of the speculations which had piled up inside her. "Because that Shinigami child… if we leave it to chance, sooner or later it may become an 'enemy' the likes of Yhwach."

While Harribel and Nelliel disappeared into the Garganta, a girl who was observing the flow of their Reiatsu from a separate location, muttered her words in a detached manner. "…They're finally on the move." In contrast with the girl - Liltotto Lamperd - who had a serious tone of voice, Giselle Gewelle who was playing around with a zombified Bambietta Basterbine in the background, raised her voice with no air of tension. "Huh? Really?" "Uuh… Candi… Meni… where?" As she listened to Bambietta's mumbling which were an indistinct assembly of words resembling sleep-talk, Lil speaks of a speculation which leads to an answer to that incoherent gibberish. "Their destination could either be the Human World, or Soul Society…. If that strange Shinigami is involved, then it's probably the latter. Assuming that is really the case, this may be a chance to meet up with Candi and co." "So, what are we gonna do? We should at least go and check it out right?" "Yeah, but we'll wait until after they've made a huge scene. While the eyes of the Shinigami are distracted by that Hollow bunch, first thing we have to do is get hold of Candi and Meni's whereabouts." Thus, the Quincy survivors also began to move into operation. Little did they know that their rescue subjects, Candice and Meninas, were in the midst of being drawn into the conflict caused by that "Hollow bunch".

Soul Society - Squad 1 Barracks. "Well then, I'll just be going out for a bit too, can I ask you to take care of things for me while I'm gone, Nanao chan?" Faced with Kyōraku who had just uttered that while putting on his braided hat, Nanao posed a question out of curiosity. "…? Where will you be heading out to? There's nothing of the sort scheduled for today…" "It's just a little trip to the Central 46, and the Kinin Noble Assembly." "……!" Realising the significance behind that destination, Nanao watches Kyōraku with a nervous expression. "Don't make such a grim face. It's not like I'm going to die." "But… we haven't made any arrangements for that yet have we?" "Ah, it was my intention to make the necessary arrangements properly. But hearing Momo's report, I got a bit of an uneasy feeling." Quietly casting his eyes down, Kyōraku then smiled in order to reassure Nanao. "Anyway, Ukitake would probably scold me." "Ukitake san…would?" At Nanao's words, Kyōraku smiled wryly as he continued to speak. "Because that guy was a good-natured person (i.e. gave people the benefit of the doubt/saw the good in others). Well, I think that was one of Ukitake's qualities which I do not possess." Whilst reminiscing about his deceased friend, Kyōraku turned his attention to memories further in the past. "It was a long time ago, me, Ukitake and that Tokinada fellow were all classmates at the Academy. Tokinada was an individual who didn't particularly stand out, he was neither praised nor admonished by Yama-jii, he passed the time almost like a shadow… but as for Ukitake, he would quite commonly make conversation even with a guy like that. Maybe on Ukitake's side he was considered a friend. That's how it was until a certain incident occurred post-graduation.… No, perhaps Ukitake was like that even after it occurred." The 'certain incident' likely refers to the case in which Tokinada had slaughtered his own wife and comrade. Without asking for details, Nanao who presumed as much patiently waited for Kyōraku to continue speaking. "For the mere reason that they were cherry blossoms of the same year*, Ukitake was even willing enough to have faith in that Tokinada guy. If only he had a change of environment, if only he was given some kind of opportunity, then one day he would surely be reformed. That man will definitely come to confront the crimes he has committed from the bottom of his heart, Ukitake would say." (*TN -- "Cherry blossoms of the same year" is a way of saying "classmates" here, but it has more connotations in that it suggests one would fall and die like the petals of a cherry blossom for the sake of one's peers.) "That's…"

"I on the other hand, was not able to place that kind of faith in him. Having said that, in those days I was not able to kill Tokinada either. The time has come to finally put my foot down regarding those issues I have been sitting on the fence about. It's as simple as that." Despite sensing a turbulent air from the implication of the words "in those days", Nanao did not question his intentions by the hunch that Kyōraku's resolution was present among those few words. "Considering the fact that not only has an unpleasant task been forced upon him, but that he may also have been sent on a fool's errand on top of that… it's possible that I have wronged Hisagi kun." Just as Kyōraku was saying that, Okikiba who had finished delivering instructions to squad 2, had returned. "Hey, Okikiba san. I'm just about to run a few erra-… what's wrong?" In response to Kyōraku who noticed that Okikiba's expression had become stern, the second vice captain presented his report with a tense countenance. "It appears that a request for a Gentei Kaijo has been put forward from Hisagi Shūhei who left for Karakura Town." "…Gentei Kaijo? That's pretty drastic." "It seems this decision is based on the grounds that unidentified hostile forces have appeared… but according to the observation unit, when a reply was issued in order to grant permission, the correspondence was interrupted midway. Furthermore, all equipment that was observing Karakura Town has had their communications entirely cut-off, at present Karakura Town is said to have entered an isolated state…" Confronted with this report which was a matter of far greater concern than originally imagined, Kyōraku pulled a frown, despite this he responded without losing his nerve in the slightest. "…What about squad members Yuki Ryūnosuke and Madarame Shino who have been deployed to Karakura Town?" "Yes, in the same way, communication with them has been cut-off." "Please make contact with the Shinigami stationed in neighbouring towns and instruct them to report on the current situation… Nanao chan, I'm sorry but, since the number of matters which must be dealt with has increased, can I ask you to go with him?" "Understood!" With a firm nod Nanao and Okikiba exit the room in order to prepare, after following them with his eyes until they were out of sight, Kyōraku muttered to himself with a more serious expression than usual. "This is a troublesome turn of events huh…" . . . "…That guy Tokinada, may have gained the initiative by striking first."

[another-writer]

Begin Again: Chapter 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 End Word count: 2,373 Warnings: a couple of swear words, mention and brief description of a panic attack (Tags at the end)

Bucky had been standing at the head of the bench press spotting Steve for the past twenty minutes, only half concentrating on his friend. Steve could handle dropping the weight on himself, probably. His mind was still reeling from the conversation he had had with you last night on the balcony. He had woken up at two in the morning and had ran into you in the kitchen when he got up to make himself some green tea to calm himself down.

He figured Sam had been exaggerating, but dammit the tea actually helped. 

Bucky knew that as much as you liked to talk, you also treasured your peace and so he hadn’t expected for your eyes to widen momentarily as you took in his panic-stricken form. You had been in the compound for … almost a month? And yet it was so easy to open up to you.

‘What are you thinking so hard about?’ Steve panted. 

Bucky blinked, losing his staring contest with the wall opposite. ‘Nothing,’ 

‘If you wanted to ask her out, she’d say yes.’

Bucky snapped out of his daze, looking down at his friend, but stayed calm. Steve was a dork but he was also observant, especially when it came to his teammates. Bucky wasn’t surprised that Steve picked up on his crush. 

‘I don’t think so,’ Bucky replied, abandoning Steve on the bench and hooking up a punching bag at the opposite end of the room. ‘She’s just being friendly.’

Steve smirked. ‘She doesn’t take the time to coax everyone back to sleep, Buck.’

Bucky blushed furiously. ‘How’d you know about that? And she doesn’t do it all the time, just happened like twice.’ 

‘Still, that’s more than enough.’

Bucky tried to suppress his broad smile. ‘You know she told me to screw Hydra,’ he chuckled.

‘What?’ Steve laughed breathlessly, resting the bar in place and sitting up.

‘No seriously, it was awesome,’ Bucky said. ‘I mean, I appreciate everyone’s patience but I think I needed to hear that.’

‘You’re only proving my point,’ Steve said knowingly. 

Bucky made a face and shook his head. ‘We’re friends, Steve, but I don’t think she’d want someone with so much baggage. Relationships are different.’

‘You’re just talking hypothetically,’ Steve argued. 

‘Steve, she -’ Bucky scowled. ‘She’s like the sun, y’know? She’s so good at everything I’m terrible at and she’s so smart and she’s gonna graduate from college and have this fancy high-tech job and fucking live this life that I can’t be a part of because I’m still trying to learn what the fuck this century even is!’

Steve surveyed his friend as he voiced all his thoughts that had been accumulating for the past few weeks; maybe longer, maybe since he had come out of cryo in Wakanda. It wasn’t news to Bucky that his experience under Hydra was an unfortunate, horrific chain of events that were never a result of his own doing, and although Bucky was still healing from his past he didn’t quite need to be comforted as much on the issue. It was that Bucky felt like he was falling behind; it was combination of his PTSD and his frustration with his PTSD, and the incredibly rational fear of his captors and the organisation they were part of. Bucky was just scared. 

‘I really like her but I like being her friend and I don't ... I don't want to push my luck.’

After three weeks of living in the compound, the butterflies in your stomach were getting increasingly harder to ignore. Around you, Bucky completely eased into this charming, dorky, guy whose smile could reverse climate change and outshine the sun. 

The worst part was that there was a completely rational part of you that was content with being Bucky’s friend - not only that, but that part of you knew that it was the best thing for him. The man was only just starting to adjust to life here after seventy years spent as a weapon, two spent alone trying to salvage bits and pieces of himself to construct a new level of normalcy, and then ending up in the middle of a crisis resulting in being sent back into cryo. Bucky didn’t need a love life, he needed a friend (besides mum-friend Steve) and you were more than happy to fill in the blanks. 

And then there was the irrational, irritating part of you that wanted nothing more than for Bucky to grab you and kiss you until you couldn’t breathe. You wanted everything you had with him now - the times when you taught him basic mechanics, binge-watching Parks and Recreation after everyone had gone to sleep, midnight pizzas, and drag races (him in one of Stark’s flashy cars, you on your first born child-slash-motorcycle) … You just wanted to kiss him while you did all of that. 

And of course there was the one most poignant worst moment of your life where you and Bucky were driving together just to get some time away from the bustle of the compound; the sun was setting, highlighting the sky with brilliant fiery oranges and golden hues and the light kissed his skin and made his eyes glow like stars or water when the moonlight hit it just right. There was a comfortable silence in the car, save for the music coming from your phone which you had plugged into the speaker system. You were passing through the older, more crooked part of Brooklyn when Bucky knitted his eyebrows and said -

‘I think I used to live here.’

You turned in the passenger’s seat to face him. ‘Really? How can you tell?’

Bucky turned the car back around, circling around the block. ‘There’s gotta be a street sign somewhere,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘Yeah, look!’

Bucky ended up parking the car on the pavement. You both got out and he lead you down between two decrepit apartment buildings; the fire escapes were rusting, black paint chipped, and the brickwork was starting to crumble. Still, with the way the setting sun was hitting the buildings and casting long shadows from the window panes across the walls, it was picturesque. 

Bucky made a point of walking next to you, so close that your arms brushed together. He had his hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket.

‘It used to be kinda sketchy,’ he admitted by means of explanation. ‘But Steve and I lived close to each other and there was this lady who lived with her niece next door and they were always real nice to us. Steve and I used to babysit her niece in the summer while she was at work …’

You smiled at him as he spoke endlessly about his days here. It was the first time he had told you memories of his past before Bucharest, before Hydra, before that period of time where his lifeline knotted and frayed and unraveled. You knew that Steve must have been aiding Bucky in regaining his memories and that there was a time where Bucky held no emotion for the things that he remembered while he tried to place himself back in some sort of timeline, but right here you sensed that Bucky knew he had reasons to be happy. It was all you could ever really ask for, all you realised you wanted for him.

Bucky broke off his sentence, looking at you and realising you had been staring at him. ‘And, yeah, that’s - that’s how we …’

You smirked at his blush and looked away. 

‘What?’ Bucky ducked his head down, smiling nervously, that animated glint still prevalent in his eyes.

You shook your head lightly unable to stifle your smile. ‘Your Brooklyn accent was getting really strong there.’

Living in the compound also meant picking up on the habits of your housemates, meaning you soon found that your window of solidarity rested between one and five o’clock in the morning. No one slept before eleven; people would start to wake at five; no one slept after nine a.m. (except Wanda who, like you, appreciated the art of sleeping until the sun was high in the sky sometimes. You really liked Wanda); Between eleven at night and one in the morning, Sam, Natasha, and Bucky would be playing video games and binge-eating. You loved the team but you also loved being alone sometimes. 

Which was why you were surprised to see Steve in the kitchen at two in the morning. If not asleep, he should have been in the gym.

‘Shouldn’t you be beating the living sand out of a punching bag, Cap?’ you asked as you dug around in the fridge looking for last night’s leftovers. You’d be damned if Sam got to the vegetable lo mein before you did.

‘I wanted to talk to you,’ he replied. 

‘How’d you know I’d be awake?’

‘FRIDAY monitors our activity,’ said Steve smiling somewhat tauntingly; his arms were folded over his chest. ‘I figured a genius such as yourself would know that over a hundred year old man.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘What do you want, Steve?’

‘What’s going on between you and Bucky?’

You choked on the mouthful of noodles, eyes streaming as you took several sips of water to calm yourself down. 

‘What?’ you coughed.

Steve seemed completely unphased by your shock. He didn’t say anything. 

‘Me … Bucky and I - no, there’s nothing,’ you said trying to sound calm.

Steve stayed quiet.

‘I’m serious,’ you emphasised. 

Steve blinked. 

You scoffed. ‘I think Barnes is a little too old for me, Cap, no thanks. We’re just friends, I’m catching him up on something called the twenty-first century, mother, so - I don’t think so.’

There was another beat of silence where your heartbeat pounded in your ears and blood crept up your neck, a blush colouring your cheeks.

Steve quirked an eyebrow and smiled. ‘He’s the same way.’

You paused. ‘What?’

‘He likes you.’

You shook your head and smiled self-deprecatingly. ‘I know that relationships work a little differently now but you’re reading too much into this, Cap. Bucky and I are friends.’

‘I haven’t seen him like this - ever,’ Steve added. ‘Even when we were in high school, Bucky was never this carefree.’

‘It doesn’t matter, Steve,’ you said firmly. ‘I don’t even like him, I have the emotional range of a grape.’

‘That’s not true.’ The bastard didn’t even acknowledge your grape comment. 

‘Steve, I’m not some saving grace that’s gonna get Bucky out of whatever pit he’s in.’

‘That’s the point though, that’s why he likes you,’ Steve implored. ‘Bucky’s been through hell and all he wants is to move on from that. Stark and Natasha thought it best to throw him into missions to get his mind focused but you’re grounding him. I don’t wanna sound dramatic -’

‘You are dramatic, Captain I-Don’t-Need-A-Parachute,’ you grumbled.

‘But you’re basically giving Bucky a reason to be happy here.’

‘Anyone who makes that guy a new arm would,’ you muttered. ‘And that doesn’t mean that he feels anything for me.’

‘You don’t see the way he looks at you,’ Steve argued, ‘and he’s too shy to say anything.’

You stared at him, speechless, with your arms folded, your snack abandoned on the kitchen counter. How does he look at me? The question was on the tip of your tongue but …

‘Bucky’s nice and all, Steve, but I don’t think he’s interested,’ you mumbled. ‘Now,’ you cleared your throat, ‘if you aren’t going to damage Tony’s gym equipment, then I will.’ 

On your way out, you passed through the dead silent corridor, pausing when you noticed that Bucky’s door was ajar. Approaching cautiously, with a stealth Natasha would be proud of, you peered through the gap.

Bucky was sitting on the edge of his bed hunched forward with his head in his hands breathing raggedly; Natasha was sitting next to him, close but not touching. You could hear her murmuring words you couldn’t understand - she was speaking in Russian. You remembered Natasha once saying that she wanted to give Bucky some positive affiliation with fragments of his past, including the language of Bucky’s days as the Winter Soldier.

Bucky was rubbing his hand harshly over his heart. His eyes were screwed shut.

Natasha must have sensed you were there because she looked up and beckoned you closer; as if pulled by an invisible string, you complied and sat by Bucky’s left side.

‘Barnes, you okay?’ you breathed, brow creasing when he nodded without looking up.

‘Breathe through your nose,’ you said in the same tone. ‘Nice and slow.’ You did the motions with him. ‘In … and out …’

Bucky repeated your instructions and you could tell by the gradual ease in his shoulders that his breathing was starting to regulate.

‘What happened?’ you murmured to Natasha.

She bit her lip. ‘Panic attack,’ she replied almost silently.

Your first reaction, aside from concern, was a total lack of thought. You had no idea what to do or if you should have even interrupted. Natasha clearly seemed to have a handle on things, much better than you could have ever done. Despite your fast friendship with Bucky, talking him through a panic attack was not on your resume.

Apparently, Natasha didn’t think the same.

You took a deep breath and swallowed your nerves. You just needed Bucky to be okay.

You knelt down in front of him, one hand cupping the back of his neck and rubbing it gently with your thumb, and the other squeezing his knee. Keeping one hand on his neck, you brought the other to his chin, prompting him to look at you. His eyes were circled with darkening shadows and were streaming with fatigue. You smiled softly at him, brushing the hair at the nape of his neck soothingly.

‘I-it was -’

‘You’re fine,’ you hushed. ‘Breathe now, tell me later, yeah? We’ve got all the time in the world,’ you smirked gently.

It was like clockwork the way you were with him.

‘C’mon,’ you prompted, handing him a glass of water that Natasha had left next to you ont he floor. ‘Small sips.’

You could feel another set of eyes boring into you and you shifted your eyes past Bucky’s figure and saw Steve watching you with a raised brow and a knowing smirk - past the despondency he felt for his friend - and then retreating to his room.

You ignored him, pushing his words to the back of your mind. You didn’t need his assumptions that Bucky felt anything non-platonic towards you; right now you just wanted Bucky to get his breathing back to normal and get some sleep.

Tags: @lauraonly @mytastereckless @hedakylo @wefracturedmotivation @eternal-queen @dontfuckwithkezolas @mrs-brxghtside @blackdemonseriexx